[Nexus 6P Accessories] Snarklife:
Cards on table: I kinda begged Poetic not to send me this case for review because I am NOT a fan of big, chunky, ‘rugged' cases. Nevertheless, here it is, so here’s my take.

There’s only one reason people buy a case like this: because they’re paranoid to the point of insanity about damaging their phone. Okay, there’s two reasons: the second being they have a weird Rambo fetish going on, and they think cod-military design cues might appeal to a drunk biker chick at three in the morning when her final vestige of self-esteem has been dissolved in half a gallon of Pabst Blue Ribbon. ("Hey, ladies, I’m into using protection if you know what I mean. Hur hur.”)

So, yeah. Protection. And I GUESS this case does that. I mean, it takes about an hour to prise the front and back sections apart, so I can’t see them just popping open post-tumble. And there’s about 37 inches of rubbery TPU swaddling the sides (rough approximation), so it should help your device withstand the occasional gravitational gonking.

But, seriously, I’m not going to put my phone in this case - or any case - then lob in into oblivion, just to test that out. So, frankly, we have no real way of knowing how well it protects a Nexus 6P. What we CAN do, though, is see how well it protects other things, which is what I’ve decided to do today. Pics attached as we go.

So, let’s start with soft fruit - and I’m afraid this one’s a fail. If it’s small enough to fit in the case (sorry, bananas), it’s gonna fall out through the massive great fingerprint sensor hole at the back (no unsquished blueberries for you, pal). There’s a chance you could get a date or two in there, but my local store was fresh out, so… you know, bummer.

Since this case is clearly meant to be carried about your person, I figured it might be useful as a shin-guard for rough-and-tumble sports like football, rugby or synchronized swimming. And, yeah - I think we’re onto something this time, largely because any good shin guard’s gonna be covered up by a whopping great athletic sock (apologies for my decidedly un-sporty orange fellas today). In turn, that means no one’s going to have to look at the sheer aesthetic grotesquery of this case and question whether their eyes are on the blink. Win, win, my friend. Win, win.

Here’s another thought. Maybe this case isn’t meant to provide protection solo? Maybe you’re meant to use it with a suitable peripheral? It’s getting nippy out there as winter starts to bite, so I’m guessing they’ve launched this thing to cash in on burgeoning hand-cream sales. Now, you’re going to struggle to get a tube of cream right into the case, but what you CAN do is use the integrated kickstand to make a neato display stand for your lotion of choice. As a bonus, that means you can leave the cap open without risking any unexpected - and unexplainable - dribblage all over your furniture. CONVENIENT.

Finally, technology’s helped with so many elements of modern life, but the boffins have yet to invent anything that can help us protect our innermost secrets. Well, you know what? Poetic haven’t cracked it either. I can totally see how this case would provide amazing side-protection for your guilt, shame and subterfuge. But that transparent front section is going to give the game away quicker than a drunken Irish boxer in a cheesy movie plot. Shame, really. I could’ve done with a way of hiding the fact that I’m now wearing this case like a codpiece.

AW, MAAAN. DID I ACTUALY TYPE THAT? GUH.