[Off-topic] Rudegar:
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris can mathematically make two wrongs equal a right.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

On the eighth day, God said, "Let there be Chuck Norris.", but put him into cryogenic sleep after he roundhouse kicked twelve Adams to death.

A midget, a rabbi, and a horse all walk into a bar. Ah, **** it. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked all their asses.

In a fight between Batman and Superman, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris thinks that MacGuyver is a complete prick because he doesn't have facial hair.

Fearing Chuck Norris to the point to shaking is an actual disease. Michael J. Fox is a sufferer. It is called Parkinson's Disease because calling it Norris' Disease would cause a worldwide pandemic

Chuck Norris rejected an invitation to Vin Diesel's house to play Xbox 720 and Playstation 4 as he was busy playing his Xbox 1080 and Playstation 5.

America didn't win the American Revolution. Chuck Norris beat the British by himself. Drunk.

It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: The Light Side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

God wanted 10 days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him 6.

the taliban had laws that every male had to have beard this was to make the afgan people look more like chuck norris!

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas

150,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris related accidents every year.

Steven Hawkings was the only man to outsmart Chuck Norris, he got what he deserved.

http://www.intrawebnet.com/chucknorris/images/ChuckNorrisSuperkicks1.gif

http://www.intrawebnet.com/chucknorris/images/ChuckNorrisSuperkicks2.gif

pics from the new ps3 game which is the best game ever released made EA get out of the business because people will never play any other game again