[Sprint HTC One (M7)] HurtsWhenIPee:
Please wait while we find an agent to assist you....

You have been connected to Patrick .

Patrick : Hi Troy, I'd be happy to help you today. Could you please provide the last 4 digits of your SSN?

Troy: ####

Patrick : Thank you for the verification. It will just take a minute or two for me to review your order information.

Patrick : Thanks for your patience.

Patrick : Congratulations, Your order is completed now. It will be shipped tomorrow and will be delivered to you by the Next business day.

Patrick : You will be notified via e-mail with the shipper's tracking number, once the package leaves our distribution center.

Troy: congratulations!? it was supposed to ship today!

Patrick : The order is processed today.

Patrick : The package will ship tomorrow from our distribution center

Troy: i was ABUNDANTLY clear with a cs rep that i spoke with earlier that i am moving saturday and may not have access to the package and he assured me that he would make my order a priority and that it would ship today!

Troy: meanwhile others have already received shipping notices and some have even received their phones.

Patrick : I do understand your concern.

Patrick : If you wish I can put your order on hold.

Troy: this has been the absolute WORST experience ordering ANYTHING from ANYWHERE EVER!

Troy: NO I DONT WANT IT PUT ON HOLD!!!

Troy: I WANT WHAT HAS BEEN PROMISED TO ME FOR DAYS NOW! THE PHONE CAME OUT A WEEK AGO FOR CHRISTS SAKE!

Patrick : Sure, I am not putting your order on hold.

Troy: wow patrick youre so kind.

Patrick : Troy, i can understand that.

Patrick : The order is processed today.

Troy: i have an email that you guys sent me yesterday stating that everyone would receive their phone no later than tomorrow.

Patrick : And the FedEx does not deliver the package on the weekends for us.

Troy: i am well aware of that patrick! thanks for throwing that in there. you really have a way with words.

Patrick : I do understand your concern Troy.

Troy: how come every time i talk to you guys you say the exact same stuff!? can you break script for one minute so that i feel as though im talking to an actual human being and not a f***ing robot that is either malfunctioning or just plain f***ing retarded!?

Patrick : Troy, i would request you pleas allow us 12 hours to ship the package.

Troy: patrick, what is 10 times 5?

Patrick : Please*

Troy: will you answer my question? what is 10 times 5?

Patrick : Unfortunately, I am unable to give the answer of your question.

Troy: unable because that level of mathematics is way beyond your mental capacity or unable because you arent allowed to actually be of assistance and give me a definitive answer to any of my questions?

Patrick : Is there anything else I can help you with?

Troy: anything ELSE that you can help me with!? "else" implies that you have helped me with something already which i can assure you that you have not. in fact im pretty sure this conversation (if one can even call it that) has made me more ignorant to this whole situation. you hear that patrick? im dumber now because of you.

Patrick : Troy, I can imagine how disappointed you are.

Troy: no patrick i dont think you can. this has been a nightmare. i want my phone.

Troy: i was told that it would be made a priority because i may not be able to get it after tomorrow.

Patrick : You will receive your new phone on Monday Troy.

Troy: but that was just another lie in a long list of lies that you guys have been telling me all week.

Patrick : I assure you that I will do my best to process the order on higher priority for you.

Patrick : We are unable to ship the package now.

Troy: well you wernt a few hours ago when you were shipping everybody elses.

Patrick : The package will tomorrow from our distribution center.

Troy: cool story bro.

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