[Off-topic] Cuda1337:
"Well, anyway," continued Nate, "I'd probably suggest giving you permanent

good health. It would negate the methanol now in your system, you'd be

immune to most poisons and diseases, and you'd tend to live a very long

time, barring accident, of course. And you'll even have a tendency to

recover from accidents well. It always seemed like a good choice for a

request to me."

"Cure the methanol poisoning, huh?" said Jack. "And keep me healthy for a

long time? Hmmm. It doesn't sound bad at that. And it has to be a request

about a change to me? I can't ask to be rich, right? Because that's not

really a change to me?"

"Right," nodded Nate.

"Could I ask to be a genius and permanently healthy?" Jack asked, hopefully.

"That takes two requests, Jack."

"Yeah, I figured so," said Jack. "But I could ask to be a genius? I could

become the smartest scientist in the world? Or the best athlete?"

"Well, I could make you very smart," admitted Nate, "but that wouldn't

necessarily make you the best scientist in the world. Or, I could make you

very athletic, but it wouldn't necessarily make you the best athlete either.

You've heard the saying that 99% of genius is hard work? Well, there's some

truth to that. I can give you the talent, but I can't make you work hard. It

all depends on what you decide to do with it."

"Hmmm," said Jack. "Ok, I think I understand. And I get a third request,

after this one?"

"Maybe," said Nate, "it depends on what you decide then. There are more

rules for the third request that I can only tell you about after the second

request. You know how it goes." Nate looked like he'd shrug, if he had

shoulders.

"Ok, well, since I'd rather not be blind in a day or two, and permanent

health doesn't sound bad, then consider that my second request. Officially.

Do I need to sign in blood or something?"

"No," said Nate. "Just hold out your hand. Or heel." Nate grinned. "Or

whatever part you want me to bite. I have to bite you again. Like I said,

that's how it works - the poison, you know," Nate said apologetically.

Jack winced a little and felt his shoulder, where the last bite was. Hey, it

didn't hurt any more. Just like Nate had said. That made Jack feel better

about the biting business. But still, standing still while a fifteen foot

snake sunk it's fangs into you. Jack stood up. Ignoring how good it felt to

be able to stand again, and the hunger starting to gnaw at his stomach, Jack

tried to decide where he wanted to get bitten. Despite knowing that it

wouldn't hurt for long, Jack knew that this wasn't going to be easy.

"Hey, Jack," Nate suddenly said, looking past Jack towards the dunes behind

him, "is that someone else coming up over there?"

Jack spun around and looked. Who else could be out here in the middle of

nowhere? And did they bring food?

Wait a minute, there was nobody over there. What was Nate...

Jack let out a bellow as he felt two fangs sink into his rear end, through

his jeans...

Jack sat down carefully, favoring his more tender buttock. "I would have

decided, eventually, Nate. I was just thinking about it. You didn't have to

hoodwink me like that."

"I've been doing this a long time, Jack," said Nate, confidently. "You

humans have a hard time sitting still and letting a snake bite you -

especially one my size. And besides, admit it - it's only been a couple of

minutes and it already doesn't hurt any more, does it? That's because of the

health benefit with this one. I told you that you'd heal quickly now."

"Yeah, well, still," said Jack, "it's the principle of the thing. And nobody

likes being bitten in the butt! Couldn't you have gotten my calf or

something instead?"

"More meat in the typical human butt," replied Nate. "And less chance you

accidentally kick me or move at the last second."

"Yeah, right. So, tell me all of these wonderful secrets that I now qualify

to hear," answered Jack.

"Ok," said Nate. "Do you want to ask questions first, or do you want me to

just start talking?"

"Just talk," said Jack. "I'll sit here and try to not think about food."

"We could go try to rustle up some food for you first, if you like,"

answered Nate.

"Hey! You didn't tell me you had food around here, Nate!" Jack jumped up.

"What do we have? Am I in walking distance to town? Or can you magically

whip up food along with your other powers?" Jack was almost shouting with

excitement. His stomach had been growling for hours.

"I was thinking more like I could flush something out of its hole and bite

it for you, and you could skin it and eat it. Assuming you have a knife,

that is," replied Nate, with the grin that Jack was starting to get used to.

"Ugh," said Jack, sitting back down. "I think I'll pass. I can last a little

longer before I get desperate enough to eat desert rat, or whatever else it

is you find out here. And there's nothing to burn - I'd have to eat it raw.

No thanks. Just talk."

"Ok," replied Nate, still grinning. "But I'd better hurry, before you start

looking at me as food.

Nate reared back a little, looked around for a second, and then continued.

"You, Jack, are sitting in the middle of the Garden of Eden."

Jack looked around at the sand and dunes and then looked back at Nate

sceptically.

"Well, that's the best I can figure it, anyway, Jack," said Nate. "Stand up

and look at the symbol on the rock here." Nate gestured around the dark

stone they were both sitting on with his nose.

Jack stood up and looked. Carved into the stone in a bas-relief was a

representation of a large tree. The angled-pole that Nate was wrapped around

was coming out of the trunk of the tree, right below where the main branches

left the truck to reach out across the stone. It was very well done - it

looked more like a tree had been reduced to almost two dimensions and

embedded in the stone than it did like a carving.

Jack walked around and looked at the details in the fading light of the

setting sun. He wished he'd looked at it while the sun was higher in the

sky.

Wait! The sun was setting! That meant he was going to have to spend another

night out here! Arrrgh!

Jack looked out across the desert for a little bit, and then came back and

stood next to Nate. "In all the excitement, I almost forgot, Nate," said

Jack. "Which way is it back to town? And how far? I'm eventually going to

have to head back - I'm not sure I'll be able to survive by eating raw

desert critters for long. And even if I can, I'm not sure I'll want to."

"It's about 30 miles that way." Nate pointed, with the rattle on his tail

this time. As far as Jack could tell, it was a direction at right angles to

the way he'd been going when he was crawling here. "But that's 30 miles by

the way the crow flies. It's about 40 by the way a man walks. You should be

able to do it in about half a day with your improved endurance, if you head

out early tomorrow, Jack."

Jack looked out the way the snake had pointed for a few seconds more, and

then sat back down. It was getting dark. Not much he could do about heading

out right now. And besides, Nate was just about to get to the interesting

stuff. "Garden of Eden? As best as you can figure it?"

"Well, yeah, as best as I and Samuel could figure it anyway," said Nate. "He

figured that the story just got a little mixed up. You know, snake, in a

'tree', offering 'temptations', making bargains. That kind stuff. But he

could never quite figure out how the Hebrews found out about this spot from

across the ocean. He worried about that for a while."

"Garden of Eden, hunh?" said Jack. "How long have you been here, Nate?"

"No idea, really," replied Nate. "A long time. It never occurred to me to

count years, until recently, and by then, of course, it was too late. But I

do remember when this whole place was green, so I figure it's been thousands

of years, at least."

"So, are you the snake that tempted Eve?" said Jack.

"Beats me," said Nate. "Maybe. I can't remember if the first one of your

kind that I talked to was female or not, and I never got a name, but it

could have been. And I suppose she could have considered my offer to grant

requests a 'temptation', though I've rarely had refusals."

"Well, umm, how did you get here then? And why is that white pole stuck out

of the stone there?" asked Jack.

"Dad left me here. Or, I assume it was my dad. It was another snake - much

bigger than I was back then. I remember talking to him, but I don't remember

if it was in a language, or just kind of understanding what he wanted. But

one day, he brought me to this stone, told me about it, and asked me to do

something for him. I talked it over with him for a while, then agreed. I've

been here ever since.

"What is this place?" said Jack. "And what did he ask you to do?"

"Well, you see this pole here, sticking out of the stone?" Nate loosened his

coils around the tilted white pole and showed Jack where it descended into

the stone. The pole was tilted at about a 45 degree angle and seemed to

enter the stone in an eighteen inch slot cut into the stone. Jack leaned

over and looked. The slot was dark and the pole went down into it as far as

Jack could see in the dim light. Jack reached out to touch the pole, but

Nate was suddenly there in the way.

"You can't touch that yet, Jack," said Nate.

"Why not?" asked Jack.

"I haven't explained it to you yet," replied Nate.

"Well, it kinda looks like a lever or something," said Jack. "You'd push it

that way, and it would move in the slot."

"Yep, that's what it is," replied Nate.

"What does it do?" asked Jack. "End the world?"

"Oh, no," said Nate. "Nothing that drastic. It just ends humanity. I call it

'The Lever of Doom'." For the last few words Nate had used a deeper, ringing

voice. He tried to look serious for a few seconds, and then gave up and

grinned.

Jack was initially startled by Nate's pronouncement, but when Nate grinned

Jack laughed. "Ha! You almost had me fooled for a second there. What does it

really do?"

"Oh, it really ends humanity, like I said," smirked Nate. "I just thought

the voice I used was funny, didn't you?"

Nate continued to grin.

"A lever to end humanity?" asked Jack. "What in the world is that for? Why

would anyone need to end humanity?"

"Well," replied Nate, "I get the idea that maybe humanity was an experiment.

Or maybe the Big Guy just thought, that if humanity started going really

bad, there should be a way to end it. I'm not really sure. All I know are

the rules, and the guesses that Samuel and I had about why it's here. I

didn't think to ask back when I started here."

"Rules? What rules?" asked Jack.

"The rules are that I can't tell anybody about it or let them touch it

unless they agree to be bound to secrecy by a bite. And that only one human

can be bound in that way at a time. That's it." explained Nate.

Jack looked somewhat shocked. "You mean that I could pull the lever now?

You'd let me end humanity?"

"Yep," replied Nate, "if you want to." Nate looked at Jack carefully. "Do

you want to, Jack?"

"Umm, no." said Jack, stepping a little further back from the lever. "Why in

the world would anyone want to end humanity? It'd take a psychotic to want

that! Or worse, a suicidal psychotic, because it would kill him too,

wouldn't it?"

"Yep," replied Nate, "being as he'd be human too."

"Has anyone ever seriously considered it?" asked Nate. "Any of those bound

to secrecy, that is?"

"Well, of course, I think they've all seriously considered it at one time or

another. Being given that kind of responsibility makes you sit down and

think, or so I'm told. Samuel considered it several times. He'd often get

disgusted with humanity, come out here, and just hold the lever for a while.

But he never pulled it. Or you wouldn't be here." Nate grinned some more.

Jack sat down, well back from the lever. He looked thoughtful and puzzled at

the same time. After a bit, he said, "So this makes me the Judge of

humanity? I get to decide whether they keep going or just end? Me?"

"That seems to be it," agreed Nate.

"What kind of criteria do I use to decide?" said Jack. "How do I make this

decision? Am I supposed to decide if they're good? Or too many of them are

bad? Or that they're going the wrong way? Is there a set of rules for that?"

"Nope," replied Nate. "You pretty much just have to decide on your own. It's

up to you, however you want to decide it. I guess that you're just supposed

to know."

"But what if I get mad at someone? Or some girl dumps me and I feel

horrible? Couldn't I make a mistake? How do I know that I won't screw up?"

protested Jack.

Nate gave his kind of snake-like shrug again. "You don't. You just have to

try your best, Jack."

Jack sat there for a while, staring off into the desert that was rapidly

getting dark, chewing on a fingernail.

Suddenly, Jack turned around and looked at the snake. "Nate, was Samuel the

one bound to this before me?"

"Yep," replied Nate. "He was a good guy. Talked to me a lot. Taught me to

read and brought me books. I think I still have a good pile of them buried

in the sand around here somewhere. I still miss him. He died a few months

ago."

"Sounds like a good guy," agreed Jack. "How did he handle this, when you

first told him. What did he do?"

"Well," said Nate, "he sat down for a while, thought about it for a bit, and

then asked me some questions, much like you're doing."

"What did he ask you, if you're allowed to tell me?" asked Jack.

"He asked me about the third request," replied Nate.

"Aha!" It was Jack's turn to grin. "And what did you tell him?"

"I told him the rules for the third request. That to get the third request

you have to agree to this whole thing. That if it ever comes to the point

that you really think that humanity should be ended, that you'll come here

and end it. You won't avoid it, and you won't wimp out." Nate looked serious

again. "And you'll be bound to do it too, Jack."

"Hmmm." Jack looked back out into the darkness for a while.

Nate watched him, waiting.

"Nate," continued Jack, quietly, eventually. "What did Samuel ask for with

his third request?"

Nate sounded like he was grinning again as he replied, also quietly,

"Wisdom, Jack. He asked for wisdom. As much as I could give him."

"Ok," said Jack, suddenly, standing up and facing away from Nate, "give it

to me.

Nate looked at Jack's backside. "Give you what, Jack?"

"Give me that wisdom. The same stuff that Samuel asked for. If it helped

him, maybe it'll help me too." Jack turned his head to look back over his

shoulder at Nate. "It did help him, right?"

"He said it did," replied Nate. "But he seemed a little quieter afterward.

Like he had a lot to think about."

"Well, yeah, I can see that," said Jack. "So, give it to me." Jack turned to

face away from Nate again, bent over slightly and tensed up.

Nate watched Jack tense up with a little exasperation. If he bit Jack now,

Jack would likely jump out of his skin and maybe hurt them both.

"You remember that you'll be bound to destroy humanity if it ever looks like

it needs it, right Jack?" asked Nate, shifting position.

"Yeah, yeah, I got that," replied Jack, eyes squeezed tightly shut and body

tense, not noticing the change in direction of Nate's voice.

"And," continued Nate, from his new position, "do you remember that you'll

turn bright purple, and grow big horns and extra eyes?"

"Yeah, yeah...Hey, wait a minute!" said Jack, opening his eyes,

straightening up and turning around. "Purple?!" He didn't see Nate there.

With the moonlight Jack could see that the lever extended up from its slot

in the rock without the snake wrapped around it.

Jack heard, from behind him, Nate's "Just Kidding!" right before he felt the

now familiar piercing pain, this time in the other buttock.

Jack sat on the edge of the dark stone in the rapidly cooling air, his feet

extending out into the sand. He stared out into the darkness, listening to

the wind stir the sand, occasionally rubbing his butt where he'd been

recently bitten.

Nate had left for a little while, had come back with a desert-rodent-shaped

bulge somewhere in his middle, and was now wrapped back around the lever,

his tongue flicking out into the desert night's air the only sign that he

was still awake.

Occasionally Jack, with his toes absentmindedly digging in the sand while he

thought, would ask Nate a question without turning around.

"Nate, do accidents count?"

Nate lifted his head a little bit. "What do you mean, Jack?"

Jack tilted his head back like he was looking at the stars. "You know,

accidents. If I accidentally fall on the lever, without meaning to, does

that still wipe out humanity?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it does, Jack. I'd suggest you be careful about that

if you start feeling wobbly," said Nate with some amusement.

A little later - "Does it have to be me that pulls the lever?" asked Jack.

"That's the rule, Jack. Nobody else can pull it," answered Nate.

"No," Jack shook his head, "I meant does it have to be my hand? Could I pull

the lever with a rope tied around it? Or push it with a stick? Or throw a

rock?"

"Yes, those should work," replied Nate. "Though I'm not sure how complicated

you could get. Samuel thought about trying to build some kind of remote

control for it once, but gave it up. Everything he'd build would be gone by

the next sunrise, if it was touching the stone, or over it. I told him that

in the past others that had been bound had tried to bury the lever so they

wouldn't be tempted to pull it, but every time the stones or sand or

whatever had disappeared."

"Wow," said Jack, "Cool." Jack leaned back until only his elbows kept him

off of the stone and looked up into the sky.

"Nate, how long did Samuel live? One of his wishes was for health too,

right?" asked Jack.

"Yes," replied Nate, "it was. He lived 167 years, Jack."

"Wow, 167 years. That's almost 140 more years I'll live if I live as long.

Do you know what he died of, Nate?"

"He died of getting tired of living, Jack," Nate said, sounding somewhat

sad.

Jack turned his head to look at Nate in the starlight.

Nate looked back. "Samuel knew he wasn't going to be able to stay in

society. He figured that they'd eventually see him still alive and start

questioning it, so he decided that he'd have to disappear after a while. He

faked his death once, but changed his mind - he decided it was too early and

he could stay for a little longer. He wasn't very fond of mankind, but he

liked the attention. Most of the time, anyway.

"His daughter and then his wife dying almost did him in though. He didn't

stay in society much longer after that. He eventually came out here to spend

time talking to me and thinking about pulling the lever. A few months ago he

told me he'd had enough. It was his time."

"And then he just died?" asked Jack.

Nate shook his head a little. "He made his forth request, Jack. There's only

one thing you can ask for the fourth request. The last bite.

After a bit Nate continued, "He told me that he was tired, that it was his

time. He reassured me that someone new would show up soon, like they always

had.

After another pause, Nate finished, "Samuel's body disappeared off the stone

with the sunrise."

Jack lay back down and looked at the sky, leaving Nate alone with his

memories. It was a long time until Jack's breathing evened out into sleep.

Jack woke with the sunrise the next morning. He was a little chilled with

the morning desert air, but overall was feeling pretty good. Well, except

that his stomach was grumbling and he wasn't willing to eat raw desert rat.

So, after getting directions to town from Nate, making sure he knew how to

get back, and reassuring Nate that he'd be back soon, Jack started the long

walk back to town. With his new health and Nate's good directions, he made

it back easily.

Jack caught a bus back to the city, and showed up for work the next day,

little worse for the wear and with a story about getting lost in the desert

and walking back out. Within a couple of days Jack had talked a friend with

a tow truck into going back out into the desert with him to fetch the SUV.

They found it after a couple of hours of searching and towed it back without

incident. Jack was careful not to even look in the direction of Nate's

lever, though their path back didn't come within sight of it.

Before the next weekend, Jack had gone to a couple of stores, including a

book store, and had gotten his SUV back from the mechanic, with a warning to

avoid any more joyriding in the desert. On Saturday, Jack headed back to see

Nate.

Jack parked a little way out of the small town near Nate, loaded up his new

backpack with camping gear and the things he was bringing for Nate, and then

started walking. He figured that walking would leave the least trail, and he

knew that while not many people camped in the desert, it wasn't unheard of,

and shouldn't really raise suspicions.

Jack had brought more books for Nate - recent books, magazines, newspapers.

Some things that would catch Nate up with what was happening in the world,

others that were just good books to read. He spent the weekend with Nate,

and then headed out again, telling Nate that he'd be back again soon, but

that he had things to do first.

.... continued.....