[Nexus 4 General] EvilStevious:
I'd just like to point out that while the Nexus 4 has turned Pedxing into a renegade bad@$$, not all stories involving the Nexus 4 turn out good. In fact, any Nexus device can ruin lives and should only be handled trained professionals. Here's why:

When the Nexus 4 and Nexus 10 were released, there was a huge rush to get them. Anybody who was remotely interested in phones and tablets knew these devices would be a huge success. However, nobody remembered to tell this to Google, who only manufactured enough devices so that their employees (and families) could get them and keep their workplace Apple-free. Once this production run was complete, the production line was terminated. However, due to the complexities of language translation and foreign business practices, the word "terminate" was taken literally and the workers were executed and the factories set on fire, and the land was salted so that nothing would ever grow there again.

Now, picture this: Here I am, a humble science student, currently working on my doctorate so I can help bring positive change to this world. However, even though I am a technophile, I'm in a cruel relationship where my partner does not want me "wasting money" buying the "latest fad". Instead, she tortures me by talking about wanting babies and buying another kitten. All this does is drive me deeper into my research in order to escape. Somehow, possibly due to sun spots or an alignment of planets, or because she suspected the Mayans may well have been right, she suddenly grants me permission to purchase the new Nexus devices. I cannot believe this! What an incredible change of events! Ecstasy!

So, like millions of other people, I am furiously bashing the F5 key on my computer during the Nexus product launch in a desperate bid to see an "Add to cart" button appear, overloading Google's sales system (running on a Sinclair ZX81, because "hey it'd be cool man"). Nobody was able to purchase a new Nexus device, yet somehow all the stock disappeared (Google's employees and their families got access to the sales server running on the Commodore 64. 6510 > Z80, suckers!). In desperation, I'd been hitting the F5 key for two months, hoping some new stock would become available. Of course, this did not happened (nor ever will), but the carrot remained dangling on Google's website and I was still enticed to refresh the website.

I'd been living the life of a recluse, sitting in my lab repeatedly smashing the F5 key on my keyboard. I am afraid to leave, knowing that I will probably miss the 20 minute window of opportunity to buy a new device when I step away. So, I manufactured my own food in my lab, but I don't really know how to cook and the results were interesting. Some of my food staged a rebellion and escaped, destroying my air conditioning system in the process. The arm I use to click the F5 key (amongst other things) had grown large and muscular, and I think my testosterone levels had increased incredibly, as I had become more hairy and aggressive towards other people. In fact, my dominant arm had dwarfed my other limbs and consumed much of my blood flow, depriving my brain of sufficient blood to enable higher thought processes, so I had become a savage, unruly creature, driven by impulse and prone to whims of fancy.

Such was the case when I decided that it may be easier to find a Nexus 4 and Nexus 10 device already in circulation and liberate the devices from their physically weak possessors. Such slender, symmetrical fools! How dare they possess items of beauty and function! How can I, an educated person with chemically enhanced genetics and a superior physique, be deprived of such pleasures? So I positioned myself near where humans gather, in a place known as a "train station", and hid myself in a tunnel near a point of pedestrian access. I waited, while obtaining nutrients from the assorted vermin found within my damp, dank dwelling. I honed the power in my arm, my magnificent arm of destruction, a red fleshy monstrosity bulging with potent sweet love and misery, a piston of massacre and serenity, a complex dance of sinew twirling merrily amongst the chords of oblivion. Yes, I shall feast! I WILL NOT BE DEPRIVED! Don't look at me. DON'T LOOK INTO MY EYES!

One day, I heard the footsteps of the carriers of the Nexus outside of my realm, and I knew now was the time to take what was rightfully mine! Yes, victory! Sweet, blessed victory! I sprang from my lair of comfort and succor, shielding my eyes from the blinding light with the inferior, weak arm while thrashing away with the harbinger of death, showing my unbridled power in a threatening display and screaming as best my lungs could enable that the offerings of the Nexus should be placed at my feet. Yes, puny weak creatures, give me my bounty!

Then my eyes burnt, I gasped for air, and after some more flailing in rage, I fell to the ground and my body twitched from the electrical currents passing through me. Such is the uncaring way of the Nexus. It chose not to love me. I was unworthy. I was weak. I was trampled. I whimpered.

Modern medicine is a wonderful thing. Now I see with clarity. Yes, I was a fool to love the Nexus. (sweet, sweet, Nexus, you fooled us). I am held in binds, for my arm, my lovely arm, my arm that dispenses love, is a menace to society. Yes, I see this. (yes, we do see this, we see everything). People come to see me, to nod sagely, to make clucking noises at how far I fell. (the clucks! the clicks! they mock us!). The walls may be soft, but my resolution is strong. I was wrong to crave the Nexus. I became broken, but I can be fixed. Yes, fixed. All will be well.

(We shall fix everything. Everyone is broken, only we can fix them. You will see. We see everything.)