[Nexus 4 General] garyyager:
T-mobile: We are offering a great plan, $30 unlimited text & data, 100 minutes voice, no contract.

Me: that's great, sign me up.

T: done

M: this is great, now let me set my phone to use Google voice mail.

T: sorry you can't use it on a prepaid plan

M: wait, what? Why not?

T: policy, that's a privilege that we only offer post paid customers.

M: but you are getting the money up front, you don't have to track down post paid deadbeats. Why treat prepaid like 2nd class citizens?

T: policy, but hey, we got rid of contracts, completely. You should switch from that prepaid plan then you can use Google voice mail.

M: Yeah, ok, let me hit enter... there, done.

T: we will switch you after your current $30 prepaid plan is up, in 3 weeks.

M: wait, what? Why wait? don't you want the extra money now? Seriously, I want to give you more money now, it benefits us both to switch now.

T: sorry, policy

3 weeks later

T: enjoy your new no contract plan

M: finally. hey, why can't I use Google voice mail?

T: of course not, you are still prepaid

M: wait, what? I switched to your new no contract plan

T: you switched using our website, it doesn't count

M: huh? both your app on my phone and your website show I'm on the new plan.

T: yes, but you are still a prepaid customer, you can't use Google voice mail if you pay up front

M: but I switched...

T: you can't switch to be a post paid customer using our website, you can only really switch by calling us.

T: T-mobile, how may you?

M: I'd like to keep my current plan but switch to be a post paid customer

T: so you currently have service with us? I'll transfer you to an agent

T: T-mobile, how may I help you?

M: I'd like to switch to be a post paid customer

T: I only support prepaid customers

Me: apparently I still am..

T: I can't help you, you need to call back to sign up for new service

M: wait, what? I just can't switch?

T: no, of course not

T: T-mobile, how may I help you?

M: I like to sign up for new service

T: sure, I can help you with that

M: well it's not really new service, I need to switch from being prepaid to post paid

T: it's really not something we do over the phone. You should really go to a store.

T: T-mobile, how may I help you?

M: I'd like to switch to be a post paid customer

T: We can help you with that, would you like to change phones?

M: no, I like my phone, but thanks

T: so, change plans then?

M: no, still the same one, but apparently I need to be designated as a post paid customer

T: would you like to keep the same number?

M: well, yes...

T: ok, but it will take 24 hours to port your current phone number from T-mobile to T-mobile

M: wait, what?

Y: we can assign a temporary number for you to use

M: um, okay

T: we'll need your contact information

M: it's the same that you already have

T: We don't have it, you need to resupply it, as well as a copy of your driver's license & SSN

M: wait, what?

T: we need to do a credit check

M: all this so just I can use google voice mail, I mean, uh, here you go

T: everything looks good, now just sign this 2 year contract

M: wait, what?

T: we haven't gotten around to actually updating our contracts for our no contract plans. Just sign this 2 year contract and we'll promise not to enforce it.

M: I sort of assumed no contract meant no contract and if you aren't going to enforce the contract, why have me sign it?

T: just sign the 2 year contract sir

M: fine

T: here's your new SIM card

M: wait, what?

T: you need a new SIM card. you can't expect to use your existing T-mobile SIM card in your existing T-mobile phone, with your existing T-mobile number while remaining a T-mobile customer, do you? and don't worry the sim card is free

M: um, okay...

T: that'll be $10.70

M: wait, what? I thought you said it was free.

T: Yes, if you look at the invoice the SIM card is free, the SIM starter kit is $10.70

M: I guess that it was naive of me to expect free meant free, and no contract meant no contract, and that people who are willing to pay up front should be treated as well as those from which you have to chase payment.

T: just remember that you have a temporary number and will not receive calls to your real number until we can port that existing t-mobile number from your existing t-mobile phone to your existing t-mobile phones, which should be done within 24 hours.

M: oh yeah... thanks...

36 hours later

T: T-mobile how may I help you?

M: my existing t-mobile phone number from my existing t-mobile phone hasn't ported yet to my existing t-mobile phone.

T: that makes little to no sense

M: (explains in detail what has happened)

T: I see that it is scheduled to be ported. Sometimes porting a phone number between carriers can run into unforseen problems

M: apparently so can keeping the same phone number on the same phone with the same carrier, I mean, um, thanks

T: it should be completed within another 24 hours

Another 48 hours later:

Google: just enter these 15 digits on your phone and press enter

M: ok

Google: you have successfully set up voice mail on this phone