[General Questions and Answers] dracoceph:
New Guy; Need Reality Check

So, for numerous reasons, I'm probably going to buy an Android device for my next phone... I've looked at several of the "leading" Android phones lately(within the last 6 months) without finding much that fits my bill. Perhaps I'm too demanding. Perhaps I'm just ignorant, and I haven't seen the phone that's right for me yet. Two things are for sure; I'm tired of Itunes, and I'm tired of the cat and mouse jailbreak game. For reference, I'll be replacing an Iphone 5s. (And no, I've never liked Apple's intentional violation of the standard English proper noun capitalization convention).

Probably the two most important things for me in a very general sense are battery life and function. Yes, I realize "function" is a very generic way to demand a lot, but I only mean I'm not about fashion at all. I really don't care what my device looks like, except that I tend to avoid things which appear intentionally gaudy. On a separate note, it's probably worth mentioning that I've owned a total of two smartphones since my first one in 2011, both have been jailbroken Iphones, and I've kept up with the jailbreaks on them myself.

Here's my (long) shortlist, in no particular order:

1)Battery life: Needs to be able to run for a minimum of 48 hours on standby, preferably while connected to a 2g network. I'm willing to buy and use a battery case for my phone, so this probably isn't a big deal, but this rules out phones that are fast and power hungry for which a battery case is not available. I'm also aware that a custom ROM can work wonders for battery life, and I'm fully intent on rooting and/or installing a custom ROM(as necessary). I know that this limits me mostly to mainstream phones.

2)Fingerprint sensor: Should be self explanatory.

3)Minimum 5 MP camera: More is acceptable, but is largely irrelevant to me. Yes, I'm aware there is much more to a camera than this simple measurement, but I consider this the minimum for a functional camera. I frequently use my camera to "see" places my head can't fit(mostly at work), but I also use it to take occasional pictures of the fam.

4)Smallish screen: I don't mind the Iphone 5s screen size(4 inch), and slightly larger would be acceptable(4.5 inch), but I'm definitely not a "phablet" person. My PC is what I use when I need a large screen, not my phone.

5)No gimmicks: I'm really averse to the Samsung "edge" phones, and I'm probably apt to avoid any other similar "features" which, to me, appear to be gimmicks. Gimmicky features that can be turned off are not an issue(I'll turn them off).

6)Used: I'll probably end up buying a used phone on eBay, and I have no problem purchasing a phone that is already a generation old... But, since I'm probably not going to buy this replacement for 6 months to a year from now, we can probably talk about today's flagship phones. Well, except from what I've seen, all the current flagships fail #9 below.

7)Sturdy: To spare a long story, I've never had any fear of my Iphone 4 or Iphone 5s bending, they're both very solid. I have had this fear with some of my wife's Samsungs, and I've heard the nasty rumors about the 6 "Plus" bending issues. I keep my phone in my front pocket, and I drop it occasionally, but I've always kept my phone in at least a basic case.

8)No Waterproofing: I only mention this because it's usually mutually exclusive to #9, a removable battery, and I consider the battery to be the more important aspect. All three times I've unintentionally gotten my phone so wet that it would've been damaged, I had the foresight to put it in a Ziploc sandwich bag before engaging in the risky activity. One of those times was less than 36 hours after the last, and with the exact same Ziploc bag. It's unnecessary. That said, waterproofing isn't a deal breaker in and of itself.

9)Removable Battery: Because I'll probably keep this phone for a minimum of three years, I'd like to be able to replace the battery without disassembling the phone, removing screws, or destroying any factory seals. This isn't about warranty related issues, but rather about keeping the device functional as long as possible with a minimum of fuss. I've disassembled my 5s more times than I've wanted, and the camera has suffered dust intrusion as a result. I know how to pop the phone open to clean the camera lens, but it's no small task. Isn't it simpler to just put the battery under an easily removed back cover, and call it good?

10)Expandable storage: I want to be able to buy a bigger microSD card later. Doesn't matter to me if the SD card slot doubles as an extra SIM slot or not, but I'll probably never use it for it's SIM function.

I realize some of these are probably unrealistic, but that's why I'm coming here to ask. I want to have realistic expectations when I actually go to make this purchase, and I don't ever purchase several hundred dollars worth of hardware without due diligence. Heck, at times I agonize over purchases in the $40 range. Also, I want to say that all other considerations are meaningless(like weight), but maybe there's something here of which a discerning(you can say picky) individual should take note.

Sorry for the long read. Thanks in advance for your advice. Looking forward to getting a strong dose of reality. :)