[Verizon Samsung Galaxy S III] TheDiabolicaL1:
Are you ****ing kidding? Let me tell you the story of how ****ing inept Verizon has been lately...

My phone was delivered when I wasn't around. Someone signed for the package, and I didn't know who had so I called VZW to alert them- nobody is at my house, someone may have stolen the phone. I won't know if it's there or not until I get there, so, what can you do? ***** asks me to trouble shoot FedEx's website cause on her end it doesn't show who signed for it. I told her it doesn't matter who signed for it or what FedEx website says- the fact is, it was delivered and signed for by or to an unknown party. Put a hold on the MEID #. She can't do that. She says, because the website says I signed for it- I am responsible. No, I'm not within 3 hours drive of the location the phone was delivered to- I'm using my VZW phone- verify the tower I'm on- verify what tower I've been on and how long I've been here. She says "someone else may have your phone." I said, oh, the one I'M CALLING YOU ON RIGHT NOW? I asked for a manager and he was like.. WTF?

So, I spend nearly 20 hours on the phone with VZW Tech support trying to figure out a wifi/data drop/ texts received hours later/ oscillation in the voice of the person I'm talking to issue. After my 4th or 5th call, they decide to send me out a new SIM Card- that must be the issue. I'm 9 days into my 14 days, which supposedly started the date of activation, so, they offered to send me out the SIM Card overnight. Awesome. Day goes by, nothing. Another day goes by, nothing. I call for a tracking number. "Oh, we sent it out priority mail. you should get it 5-7 days." No, it was supposed to be shipped overnight. WTF? "Well, sir, your account isn't noted as that so I don't know what you were told." Mam, I'm now 11 days into my 14 day worry free guarantee. My phone doesn't work correctly. You (vzw) were supposed to send me a new sim card overnight so I can see if it fixes the device before I return it- "Sorry" she tells me. Management offers to send me a 3rd SIM card overnight. Fine, just get it here. Two days later, my 13th day, I get my 3rd SIM card. Activate it, plug it in and the phone's still ****ed up.

Back on the phone with VZW, they tell me to wait it out. "Sometimes it takes a while to activate.. just be patient." I called again the next morning. Phone was still ****ed up. I'm told, maybe it's the network you're on. Can you drive somewhere else and see if being in at a new tower fixes the problem? **** it, I say- I'll drive into town, where the closest VZW corporate store is, 1.5 hours away from me and see if it works, right there in their store with one of their display s3's right next to it.

So we make the drive. I walk into the store and I run a speed test on each S3, back to back, simultaneously, whatever and I keep doing this until a rep calls my name, and, I finger him over to where I'm standing. I had run 14 speed tests, at the same time, with the phones side by side. The one is the store is pulling 1200kbps down, mine, 300. I ask him, what he can do for me. We walk over to the counter and he starts digging around in the phone. First words he asks- what ROM are you running? WTF? I hadn't even rooted the god damn thing yet. No ROM other than stock. "You've got a lot of apps.. that's what's causing your download speeds to be so low." I tell him- "oh, okay- then go ahead and delete whatever you need to- go ahead and wipe the phone too if you need. I've done it and I know what it does. Go ahead and see for yourself." He goes into the app manager, looks at the size of the apps and tells me that's what's killing my data speeds- "Spotify" he tells me, "Is running 95.xx MB per second!" "That's what's killing your speeds!" Ok.. what? You're telling me, I cannot achieve 300kbps down, and you're telling me Spotify is pulling 95mb down per second? "Well, the S3 over there you compared it to is downloading 1200!" he proclaims. "Yes, I said- 1200kbps, not 1200mb/s. Huge difference!" "You're mistaken" he tells me. Okay- what can you do to fix my phone? He goes and gets another sim card. Must be that. He sets the phone down, goes in the back, gets another SIM, sets it up, installs it- same ****ing thing. ****ty network speed. No apps, full wipe, new SIM- it's ****ed up. Of course, I don't have my box, headphones, charger, etc so I cannot return it without paying a 35 dollar restocking fee. No way around it he tells me. I have to have the box. It's my second to last day- I just drove an hour and a half- is there anything you can do? "Nothing." "Nothing? Really? Nothing" I ask. "Nothing at all" he says. "What about shipping me out another device, and letting me do the swap via mail?" "Then, I'll be able to return everything- the box, charger, headphones, etc." I say. "I'm not sure I can do that.. let me see" as he starts typing away. I notice at this time, his hands are shaking as he's holding up my phone. They're shaking bad but I was thinking medical condition- not what was actually going down. He makes my order and sends me on my way. I was stoked. I met the 14 day deadline and I should be getting a decent phone in the mail. yay! Oh how wrong I was.

Two days later, I call VZW again. looking for a tracking number for the phone that was to be shipped to me. It's not here, was supposed to be shipped overnight- wtf. "What phone?" she asks. "The phone I ordered in the store to be shipped to me" I say. Well, apparently what happened was he went into the back, got the meid # off another phone, said I returned my device in the store, I was given another phone, in the store and that was that. Problem was- I was still on my original phone. So I'm on the phone with VZW Tech support, who's on the phone with the store I walked into and it's manager. Manager says, there's a missing S3 from inventory and I must not have noticed he swapped my phone. I said no, the phone had never left my sight. He said he didn't care what I had to say. I had a new phone and that was that. I asked the VZW tech support gal to check the IMEI/MEID # of the phone I was calling in on and compare that to the original shipping MEID/IMEI#. Then tell me, if I was on a new device or not. She does. Holy ****- same phone I was originally shipped! She gets back on the phone with the store, who's manager gets on the phone with the sales rep who, was in a car wreck and is in the hospital. 3 hours on the phone, and all I can get is that the manager in the store I walked into three days before is willing to give me a new phone, but I have to do it in person. I tried to get the woman on the phone to make the swap so I didn't have to make the drive, but, apparently they can bend the rules of their policies to do what they please. I was outside of my 14 day window for returning the device. I had 5 different reps tell me I had 14 days from the moment of activation. Suddenly, it's 14 days from the day it was shipped. What a crock of ****. I scheduled an appointment with the manager at the store closest to me for 4 days down the road and that's that. I know what he wanted- he wanted to see the IMEI/MEID# for himself. He had a VZW Tech support woman on the phone with him telling him what phone I was on and he wouldn't take their word for it. Fine...

I walk into the store. He greets me. Without saying much, I open up my phone, I show him my IMEI# printed on the sticker back under the battery. He takes note of it, and as he's pulling back up my account I boot the phone up. Soon as it boots up I read him off the MEID# and he notes that it's the device I was shipped, but not the device the computer says I have. I told him, "I don't care what your computer says. Here's my receipt from the original shipment. The IMEI's match. This is my original phone. Your computer is wrong. Period." Blah blah blah.. an hour goes by and they're just now getting around to getting me my new phone. The poor girl behind the counter who was stuck between the manager and I was hating her job at the moment cause I wasn't backing down. My heels were dug in deep. This is bull****. You had an employee who stole from you and used me as a patsy. You dont want to fix this. You're going to though. Manager goes back to his office to get some paperwork going for the transaction and the rep finishes up the transaction. Manager comes out, tells me he has to charge me for the phone again. I told him "NO!" I've already ****ing paid for this phone. I'm not being charged for another. "Well Sir, it says you've gotten another phone!" "I haven't gotten another phone" I say, "your computer is wrong and I'm not paying for a device you can't find and I don't have. Period. I'm not doing it." He tells me "Then this transaction can't go through." I told him "You're gonna have to suck it up and do it because I'm not paying you for a phone your employee stole!" At that point, everyone in the building is listening to the conversation. Red faced, he goes back into this office to "figure out how to do it.." Whatever.

Lady rep, who was sweet as can be finished up the transaction. She gets my new phone rung up, sets up my SIM card, gets it all up and running and starts talking about my contract. I told her, "I'm not signing a new contract. This was a WARRANTY EXCHANGE!" "There is no new contract!" "Well, sir" she says "because you're passed your 14 days, we've decided to do a refund to your account and we no longer offer an unlimited plan so your account will be switched to one of our new share everything plans!" "Like hell it will" I say. "Absolutely not!" "I can't do this transaction for you today then, only a manager can handle this" she says. "Then GO GET HIM! GET HIM OUT HERE- FIX THIS!" I say loudly, but without yelling. She scurries off to go get him. By this time, I had ****ing had it with VZW and it's bull****. He comes back out- huffing and puffing. "I can't do it!" "You're gonna have to figure it out man. I'm not signing a new contract. I'm not allowing you to switch me over to one of your share everything bull**** plans!" I say. "And, for my trouble, how about upgrading me to one of the 32gb S3's. While you're at it, how about a free screen saver and a killer deal on a otterbox." I say loudly. "Let me figure out how to keep you on your unlimited plan and [reps name] go get everything we have for the S3 and let him pick out what he wants." the manager says. Her eyes lit up as if to say- Seriously? You're actually going to do this?

About an hour later, I walked out of there with my new S3, which, he basically had to "steal" and give to me so he didn't have to change my unlimited data plan. He credited $30 to my account for gas money for the drive. He gave me free screen savers because they didn't have any otter boxes and the best part, on paper, he gave me everything in writing. The entire transaction, all the credits, refunds, etc. He also extended me a 30 day worry free guarantee, if I didn't like my second S3 which, was every bit as ****ed up as my original one but with Synergy is helped immensely. This was great, and I was stoked with how it worked out, but my story doesn't end here.

Second S3- same problems. Before root, before Synergy. I'm on the phone with tech support. Must be the network then- we'll file a trouble ticket with the network engineers and we'll have them look into it. Cool- lets get to the bottom of this. First ticket I get back "The network tower is busy with tourists and he (I) still has his old device on, the droid X2." Of course, I had to call 5 days later to follow up because nobody bothered to. I turned off my X2, but the slow speed data didn't change anything. I called back. "We'll look into it and we'll follow up with you in 48 hours." Never heard back. I call. "Oh, it's the terrain. Your home is in a rural area. Where is Arcata anyways?" "What?" I ask. "I don't live in Arcata and haven't for nearly a year. Your network engineers checked an area I didn't even live in and then tell me it's the terrain? WTF is going on over there" "Oh sir" they say "I am so sorry for what's gone on. I'm going to re submit your trouble ticket and escalate this to the highest level. When they see how many tickets you've filed you'll go right to the top of the list!" Ok. Whatever. By this time, I had rooted and synergized the S3 and was seeing better data speeds but still not as good as my old Droid X2. They followed up with me the same day to tell me, proudly, the reasons why I was having data speed connections- you ready for this?

The terrain. Seriously. I'm 2 miles as the crow flies with nearly a straight shot/view of the tower. Sure, there's trees in the area but my god. I manage between -72 and -95db for signal which isn't terrible. It certainly doesn't constitute what terrible speeds I'm getting. What's best is my wifes iphone, sitting right next to my S3, getting the same db rating signal, gets normal connection speeds.

Of course, I have the luxury of coming on here and seeing lots of others complain about data speeds. I see the issues are widespread. I see I'm not the only one. Verizon would have me believe otherwise and everyone **** I've talked to there all tell me they've never heard of the issue. Bull**** I say. I don't think they want to add fuel to my fire is what they're really doing.

Verizon firmly has their heads wedged up their asses. You think you've got it bad with having the wrong device shipped to you? I'm mean, sure, it's terrible and all, but, atleast you're not me.

And for real, this is all 100% true. It's so good, I couldn't possibly make it up. ****ing lame.

Now I just get to figure out what I'm going to switch to. I think the S3 is a great phone, if it wasn't for the ****ty radio and encrypted boot loader. S-voice blows and the device itself seems super fragile but, I still think it's bad ass. Worst part- what could I go to that would be comparable? There's nothing out at the moment that even interests me...