yashsingh1/xdaforums huggingface dataset:
[Off-topic] Remorcer:
My dad asked why is Google looking weird.

I was like: WTF are u using?!?! (he was using IE 5)
[Off-topic] WellTrainedVC:
Got my dad an HTC EVO 3D, used for like 2 months prior. This is a huge upgrade from the LG Optimus S I had given him to introduce him to smartphones.

Of course the EVO is capable of 4G speeds. Just not really inside his brick house with lathe & plaster walls. He freaks out on me convinced I was trying to swindle him or give him snake oil or something with bad juju.

I calmly explained to him that if he sat near an exterior wall or even the huge window in his living room he could get 4G. I also had the phone rooted & setup for WiFi tethering, which he for some reason understood the benefits of that service. But, he was so pissed off and hung up on the lack of 4G while sitting in the middle of his fall out shelter that he began threatening me!

I escorted him outside toggled on the 4G and viola it worked.

Next morning I get a threatening message declaring that I had bilked him somehow and how he wanted his familiar Optimus back, and continued on about me installing spyware and whatever other crazy paranoid delusional fantasy he could conjour up!

I tolerated it for a couple of hours and stopped answering his calls.

Now he is happily enjoying his advanced phone to play slots, angry birds, the odd dirty video and what have you.

Just hilarious how frightened he was about the change.

P.S. He called me back 3 weeks later claiming his phone was broken & demanding the Optimus back. He refused to describe was the issue. He actually took it to Sprint and *****es his way into a replacement Evo! Still don't have any clue what was wrong, if anything.

This is why I refuse to work on families tech issues. Plus they can't appreciate me asking for a few dollars after spending hours fixing something they have destroyed.

When asked how I learned all this stuff, I simply reply: reading.

Still missing my HTC Amaze = the most underrated piece of hardware on the market.
[Off-topic] cascabel:
you. x8 ot. nao.

ps. sorry for being off-topic. :o
[Off-topic] zZDave_Stud:
*Toting around Nexus 7*

"Is that an iPad Mini?"

Me - "The f**k you just say?!!?!"
[Off-topic] 85gallon:
I have stopped recommending tech for family and friends. It never pays off other than the satisfaction of helping others. And it usually bites me in the ass if something goes wrong or something doesn't work awesome.

I stopped after a secretary asked me my advice on a computer. She wanted to get a computer on the CHEAP. I told her that there was nothing wrong with what she sent me except she need to upgrade the RAM to at least 1 gig. (Machine had XP on it with 512K) She didn't want to pay the upcharge. I told her that this would be the most bang for the buck and would make a world of difference in every operation the computer made. She REALLY needed to spend the money. Well she didn't. She spent what she thought she needed.

A few years later she forgot all of that and called me *****ing that her computer has always been slow and she finally got a guy to look at it. Well he told her that going to a gig would solve her problem. then proceeded to infer to me that I was an idiot for telling her to get that computer.

She still calls me to this day asking tech recommendations. My standard response is "Hmmm, you are looking at ________ (insert tech device here). I really don't know anything about those. You are better off asking someone else."
[Off-topic] FromiOSToAndroid:
I hate those people
[Off-topic] jeovaninho20:
Friend: if you install android on my black Berry I won't have to use the buttons anymore right?

me: no you still have to use them

Friend: wait so it won't be touch?
[Off-topic] iok1:
Walking around at a convention when someone suddenly asks me: "Are you interested in winning an iPad?"

I burst out in laughter, don't know why.

Sent from my Nexus 7
[Off-topic] Felimenta97:
If you just "win" it, why not get it and sell? Money :D

"What really matters in this world, anyway?"
[Off-topic] cascabel:
Lol'ed so hard. :D

Where'd you get that??
[Off-topic] ArTrix:
I´m loving this one. xD Great Job, dude. Could you give Google a better look? But only on my pc. Thanks.
[Off-topic] SynysterX:
LOL @ the Google logo one. My dumbest question was "How do I answer my phone?"
[Off-topic] veeman:
Mom calls me from her cell.

"Hey, I can't find my cell phone! Can you come home and help me look for it?"

"Uh... mom... what are you calling from?"

"My cell phone........... oh.. right" *click*
[Off-topic] 063_XOBX:
I swear this actually happened when I first got an all in one printer.

"Do I use the color or black to make a copy of this page?"

*Looks at page, it only has text on it*

"Black, there aren't any pictures on it"

"But the paper is white?"

Face palm times 15.
[Off-topic] Babydollll:
Can't I get that new phone service without a computer? (Vonage)

Me: Technically yes, but you still need an internet connection.

Isn't a computer the same as that internet?

Me: facepalm.jpg
[Off-topic] MissionImprobable:
My computer seems to be having issues as well. It would be most helpful if you could come assist me with my quandary.

*pours the wine, lights the candles*

I'll be waiting.
[Off-topic] dbreezy187:
I worked tech support for blackboard...

Me: OK now go ahead and right click that and and hover over properties and left click properties...

Student on the phone: what does right click mean...

Sent from my DROID4

---------- Post added at 04:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:39 PM ----------

Me: what web browser are you using?

Them: its an HP..

Me: OK that's the brand of computer, what icon do you click to get on the internet is it an e with a halo or a fox circling the globe..

Them: I click the mouse..

Me: OK lets try this go ahead and close all the windows you currently have open and double click the icon that looks like an e with a halo..

Them: the AC is on so I don't have any windows open..

Me: is there any one else there I can speak with to resolve this issue.

Sent from my DROID4
[Off-topic] th3bl3d:
These following quotes are not made up!

"User: I paid for antivirus 2012 but I still have viruses..." "Me: sir call your bank because you credit card has been stolen"

"Me: Got to Google.com" user: I'm currently on outlook express. Can you send me an attachment to Google."

"Me: whats the brand of your pc" "user: (proceeds to read the logo on the monitor and tells me he has a Samsung)

"Me: click the start menu located in the bottom left hand corner." "User: I looked all over my mouse and I can't find the start button, but I do have this scrolly wheel"
[Off-topic] xaccers:
We had several when I worked for the AA.

Someone phoned up to say their printer wouldn't power off, the green light was still on even though they'd pulled the power lead out. Turned out it was the sun shining on the power LED

Remember that IT legend about the guy who phones tech support because his PC won't work and it turns out there's a power cut? Well we actually had that.

One of the floors of the tower block in Basingstoke lost power, so we got phone calls saying "the power's out and our computers aren't working, can you fix them?"

When the power returned we had loads of calls of blue screens, turned out simply to be the NT4 start up blue screen, which many users had never seen because they never rebooted their computers!

When I worked for the MoD I had a woman call up to say she'd lost all her work apart from the last day's worth, could I take a look.

I got her to show me what she was doing and she'd start the day by clicking on new document in Word, do a day's worth then save (document1.doc) selecting yes to overwrite the existing file, then repeat the process the next day! It was really hard to keep a straight face :D
[Off-topic] FrankyDoodle:
Sister: Where is the start icon on your laptop?

Me: It runs on Windows 8 so it's gone.

Sister: How can I get into the start menu?

Me: The new start menu won't help you.

Sister: WHERE IS THE F*CKING START MENU!?
[Off-topic] MissionImprobable:
Honestly, Win 8 is questionably designed. Why would you overhaul a system that people have spent years getting used to? The start menu has been around since Win 95, and clickable UI icons well before that.
[Off-topic] 063_XOBX:
It was a necessary evil to make Windows tablet friendly. People will adjust to a new interface, but if they kept it the same and made windows 8 tablets suck they'd either be DOA or cost a lot of OEMs a lot of money and look bad for MS.
[Off-topic] vanessaem:
Did you plug it in?

Maybe a little Colt 45 would be in order. :)
[Off-topic] TheSkinnyDrummer:
Should I upgrade my memory to a 1TB one?

Memory is hard drives to most people. So frustrating.

Sent from my coffee pot.
[Off-topic] klin1344:
This is 100% true, no lying.

Mom: I need to save a file, go and get my SUV upstairs.

Me: SUV? You mean flash drive?

Mom: Yes. The SUV.

Me: Mom, its called a USB drive.

facepalm....

Sent from my One S
[Off-topic] 063_XOBX:
How do I fix a PEBKAC error?
[Off-topic] klin1344:
Did you jailbreak your android yet? You *need* to get cydia.

Sent from my One S
[Off-topic] ohyeahar:
About 10 years ago, I used to work at Staples. This guy walks up to me and says that he wants to buy some RAM for his PC. So I asked him what type he required. Fortunately, he said he brought the DIMM from his PC to show me.

He proceeded to reach into his bag and pulled out the DIMM which he has wrapped in a piece of tissue paper. (Jeez, as if the tissue paper does anything other than increase the risk of damage from static...)

I took the DIMM from him to have a closer look to figure out what was the speed/capacity/type. And he scolds me for handling the DIMM in an improper manner! (FYI, I was just pinching the sides of the PCB)

He says angrily: "Can you please not touch it like that?!"

The customer is always right. So I didn't make a fuss about it.
[Off-topic] iok1:
Well, I did try, but didn't win so it doesn't matter :P

Sent from my Nexus 7
[Off-topic] melvinchng:
My mum always ask me.

"Is my HTC wildfire a smartphone? "

Now I gave her my nexus s.

"My customer said that my phone is a smart phone, is it? "

Accidentally sent from my Samsung Galaxy Note 2
[Off-topic] funnypharmacist:
We at Galaxy Y got a miui 2.3.7 a few days ago, i dont know if all miui has chinese launguage on the task manager but our port has it

So i was with group of my friends two of them had my phone looking and trying to figure out why my phone looks different

At one point he came across the task manager he shouted,"see its not a samsung phone"

Thank God i left from there immediately

Sent from my Galaxy Y - A phone with Small Screen and Big Buttons
[Off-topic] gagdude:
A facebook friend, trying to make a joke-

"Apple and nokia should work together so we can have an unbreakable iphone"

Me: *starts laughing* apple will never let any other OEM touch their OS
[Off-topic] evolishesh:
"should I buy an iphone5 or an android"!

This is just one of the hundreds of questions people ask me
[Off-topic] Thats OK:
Fellow forum poster asking about an Asus Infinity TF700T:

Does it come with Windows Jelly Bean or Asus RT?

Had to compose a non-insulting answer.

Took a while...

Things continued downhill from there.
[Off-topic] beanboy89:
I don't even know where to start. I work in electronics at a major national retailer. I've heard them all. The amount of stupidity that walks through the doors and migrates back to electronics is mind blowing.
[Off-topic] Thats OK:
I like this one:

How long does Android take to upload to Windows?

Answer:

Not long.
[Off-topic] gagdude:
Share your faves. I LOVE hearing the conversations of tech specialists and dumb consumers
[Off-topic] beanboy89:
Just yesterday, some lady was convinced that if she turned off her GPS unit she would somehow be immune from any supposed radiation that the unit emits. It took me nearly 10 minutes to explain how GPS worked and that they were safe no matter the power status of the receiver. The customer then proceeded to ask me where in the store she could buy a paper map.
[Off-topic] Sparx639:
Someone asked me if my gnex was the new iPod

I've had someone ask how the iPad has 64gb of ram

Aaaaand I've been asked what a desktop tower was for

Sparx639
[Off-topic] ShadowLea:
The amount of people who think the Monitor is the PC is staggering...
[Off-topic] Slender Troll:
I think that they think that the computers are "All-in-Ones," like some comps actually are.

Motorola Photon 4G
[Off-topic] ShadowLea:
Nowadays they might actually be fairly accurate in their ignorance, but that excuse didn't work 10 years ago :rolleyes: ;)
[Off-topic] TheSkinnyDrummer:
My grandma, rest her soul, honestly couldn't be convinced that her mouse wasn't her PC.

Easier than it sounds, harder than it looks.
[Off-topic] Deadly:
About Recycle bin..

So many people think that recycle bin doesnt use hard disk space.. I have lectured many friends of mine about it. Even after showing the recycle bin properties which they wouldnt know until then!

M:Hey, why are you keeping so many stuff in recycle bin! its taking way too much GB..

F:What ? who told you it takes space lol.. Go google it. It wont take space at all on hard disk.

I opened properties of recycle bin and showed him settings to allocate space for each drive or all drives..

M: See? Whats this?

F: He opened some yahoo answers page, and showed me that actually there was someone who had replied like that!

M: Ok, try deleting your recycle bin suff now and see the difference in My Computer..

After doing that.

F: Oh, but why is it that recycle bin doesnt use space and still space gets free when its cleaned?

M:Sorry, i dont know!

honestly who can make them understand if they ask like this!
[Off-topic] sk8er_boi47:
One more:

-[Source: Yahoo Answers]
[Off-topic] leezrd:
In their defense there was a shot on family guy that made Peter gay
[Off-topic] kylec:
Girl from uni: what version of windows am I using? Is it vista or 7?

Me: umm... thats a mac...

Girl: yeah I bought it from the apple store but they didnt say what version of windows it has

This girl is brilliant when it comes to genetics. But computers... oh dear haha
[Off-topic] _Variable:
Lmaoo....

Sent from a 2.8 inch screen
[Off-topic] hostilevader:
OMG i love her

Sent from a white and sexy GS2
[Off-topic] NewbCentral:
But at least she knows how to use it, hopefully. :laugh:
[Off-topic] tangosierra_:
I was talking to my friend about android being open source and how iOS isn't.

His response: my jail broken one is.

me: no.

Him: when you jailbreak the iPad you "open the source (ie iOS), thus it becomes open source"

I couldn't help laughing.

Sent from my arc S..
[Off-topic] preseodymium:
Not really tech but my Friend said this to me

F: how do I restore my apps through the backup thing like you told me

M: you require root, I told you so many times!

F: I don't want to root it voids my warranty I just want the app!

M: speechless

Sent from my potato.
[Off-topic] zhanjia:
Brother : Why is Internet Explorer so slow ! Is it because you downloaded Google Chrome !?

Me : I will ignore you :facepalm:

Brother : I'm gonna tell mom about this ! Your in big trouble for messing up my laptop !

Sent from my WT19i
[Off-topic] ShadowLea:
Maybe not a question, but very typical Apple:

I have an iPod Nano 5th gen. (Don't kill me, it was a gift) Last week, the Next button semi-broke. (it barely responds.). I got a 3 year Apple insurance thing with it, and the iPod is 15 months old, so back to the Apple store I went. (That took a 4 hour shower to wash off..).

They had never even heard of the problem, nor the insurance. (yea, right. The exact same bloke (manager) signed the papers back then...) This was Thursday. They said they'd call the insurance company (mahe?) to ask, and then they'd call back.

On Friday, 1800, still nothing. So far so normal, It took them 4 weeks to remember I handed in the earpods for repair last time... AFTER I came by in person, again, and threatened them with alerting the chamber of commerce.

Yesterday, Monday, I send my parents to ask what was taking so long. (Since I work from 0800 till 1730.) "No, we haven't been able to contact the company".

So, they called right then 'again', and went through 6! different people just to get to someone who knew what they were talking about. Who then proceeded to tell us this:

"Fill in an online form, we will send you an email detailing the necessary steps.". (It says, in the documentation, that in the event of hardware faults I have to return to the retailer.) So, home they went, and I filled out the form when I got home.

Guess what it says. "Return the device to the retailer." :rolleyes:

So, this is the whole process:

-to the shop, leave ipod.

-shop is clueless, 'tries' to contact insurance company

-ins. comp doesn't respond for a whole weekend

-parents to apple store to get them to get a bloody move on. Ipod back home.

-fill in form on internet

-to the shop, again.

-shop contacts ins. comp, again.

-ipod to the repair shop.

-repair shop contacts insurance comapny

-ins. comp contacts apple store

-apple store contacts repair shop

-repair shop sends ipod back to apple store

-apple store sends ipod to factory

-in china.

-factory decides: repair or send new ('new from old stack')

-factory sends back to store

-store contacts ins. comp.

-ins. comp decides if the insurance applies

-ins comp replies to apple store

-apple store contacts me.

All in all, ETA end-february, begin may 2013. :rolleyes:

You want a reason not to buy Apple? Here it is. Nigerian scam artists have better customer service. They just tell you to go to hell right away. :rolleyes:

F*ck You Apple. :mad: This is not the way to go about convincing people you care about your customers. (Which we already know you don't, anyway.)
[Off-topic] melvinchng:
How much do you pay for transport?

Accidentally sent from my Samsung Galaxy Note 2
[Off-topic] ShadowLea:
They had no idea when I asked. :rolleyes: Do these people even have an IQ? :rolleyes:
[Off-topic] SteveG12543:
Psh, of course, they're Geniuses!
[Off-topic] 85gallon:
Their IQ is directly proportional to the number of pimples on their face.
[Off-topic] beanboy89:
Had to try to explain to a customer at work today how a universal remote works after repeatedly telling him that the remote won't work out of the box with his DirecTV receiver. He just couldn't comprehend that it need to be programed even after I told him that the instructions on how to do so were right there in the manual.
[Off-topic] 063_XOBX:
This happened today while testing a power supply:

Person: Does data travel down that yellow cable?

Me: You mean does the power supply transmit data?

Person: Yes. What else would the colors be for?

Me: Facepalm.
[Off-topic] Slender Troll:
FTFY

Motorola Photon 4G
[Off-topic] geekygirl74:
I have tons of these stories since I've worked tech support for 3 major cable providers, and I'm the friends and family geek.

I have the sister that Googles Google to login to facebook, yahoo and you tube. I have the other sister that seems to not understand that buying an antenna that says will pick up HD channels will make her standard def tv all of sudden be HD.

I have the brother who clicks on every big booty/half naked chick picture and get viruses on the family computer, that my nieces of 11-13 use for home work and gaming, so of course I had to spend hours fixing it every Saturday. So after a few months of that I conveniently left the Ethernet cable ever so slightly unplugged. Of course I got called to fix that but, I would fake call Charter and say that it was an outage, and he bought it even though I'd be on wi-fi in the same house. I pulled the girls to the side and told them to just make sure they plug it all the way in when they use the "net and then unplug it again when finished, they agreed because they got tired of the hard core porn pop up when trying to chat on the Domo boards or whatever.

But the one that takes the cake is my mom,

She had a straight talk flip phone for the last few years, and she would always freak out if her volume was off, the ringtone got changed or anything whatsoever was different. So a couple of months ago she calls me over and the conversation went like this:

Mom: "I can't stop the d**** phone from beeping!!!"

Me: "Well is it charged up", and reached for it

Mom: Clutching it to her chest, " Don't do anything smutty with my phone"

Me: Snort giggles, sees that she has like 40 text messages, so it was probably notification, "So I showed the screen to her, and told her that she had a bunch of texts."

Mom: takes it back with a look of wonder, and says "I never knew you could get faxes on your cell phone."

I tried explaining it but I remembered that she is the only person I've heard of touching the actual PC screen when told to click on the start button.

She surprised me though, as a family joke we bought her a Pantech Pocket for her birthday, and she rocks on it, even to the point of sending text messages, Skyping the nieces from above. adding her own contacts and getting on Facebook. The last bit is funny because the suggested friends make her think people are stalking her, even though we've all tried explaining it to her, and btw she composes each text like a letter, like so

Dear X,

blah, blah,blah

Love,

Mom
[Off-topic] gagdude:
My god. I'm not alone!

Yep, my mom does this too. WAY too formal
[Off-topic] sooyong94:
My friend: Do I need to jailbreak my GS2 to get pirated apps?

Me: *facepalms*

Looks like my friend really gets used to iOS....
[Off-topic] ConfusingBoat:
(my friend, asking me about RCA cables)

Him: "Which one is the left and which is the right?"

Me: "White is left. Always."

Him: "You sure?"

Me: "...yes."

-20 minutes later-

Him: "Hey which is the left and right again?"

Me: "Left is white, the same as it's been for 15 years."

Him: "And you're sure?"

Me: "...yes."
[Off-topic] 85gallon:
Not a tech question per se..

But my boss that works in another state (he runs the office that the secretary I posted about earlier works in) was trying to talk to me about how NOT to get viruses. His PC was always eaten up with them despite them running virus protection.

As we were talking he was checking his email for a text document that I sent him outlining safe email practices and what not to do.

As I keep telling him to click send/receive, some emails come in. I hear the notification.

He exclaims real loud. "Cool. Naked pictures of Anna Kournikova!!"

I started to tell him to not click the attachment. All I got out was "Don't cli......." when I was interupted by him saying "Hmmmm. My computer is doing something weird!"

I couldn't do anything but laugh.
[Off-topic] Wonderwouldyou:
I was once asked and I quote....

Hey, you know the thing, with the thing that you put into the thing, that's on top of the thing there?

It was a question about a toaster, from a co-worker, it was asked in spanish.

Needless to say I had to ask what the thing was ....
[Off-topic] funnypharmacist:
I have a friend who owns a computer sales and service store so he is pretty good at computers but Mobile Phones,he can prove himself a nightmare to anyone here on xda

According to him every unstable ROM for my G Y is cyanogen

And every stable one is Stock

Even when he haven't seen how galaxy Y's stock is

Sent from my Galaxy Y - A phone with Small Screen and Big Buttons
[Off-topic] Max Xman:
I had a friend ask my why is his phone still SIM locked even though it was rooted.

Best part was I spend time rooting the phone (he's not very tech savy when it comes to cellphones) and clearly explained what rooting was and that it doesn't unlock your phone.

Most of my friends and family members just nod their heads when I start to explain this stuff, but then end up asking me what I already explained to them later. :)
[Off-topic] Slender Troll:
Found this gem on Reddit:

Someone told their friend that they should charge their flash drive so it wouldn't die during their presentation.

Lolololol

Motorola Photon 4G
[Off-topic] TheSkinnyDrummer:
The Devil in the White City is an awesome book. Film is being considered.