yashsingh1/xdaforums huggingface dataset:
[Off-topic] thebeastglasser:
Ok, so chances are you're on this Site a lot. If you're like me, you're the house's free tech service for everything that has a switch, cord or wire.

And we all know we've been asked some pretty stupid questions. So why not have a good laugh about it rather than strangle the person who did it?

After you're out of real ones, if you have to feel free to make them up. Just make sure they're in the field of realism.

For example: no "How do you plug the computer in?" to get the most attention. (unless of course someone actually did ask you that and by all means feel free to say it.)

I'll go first because, well no one else has a choice I'm going first.

Earlier this year my sister asked me "How do you use iTunes?" and later... "How do I sync my iPod?"

(yes I understand that doesn't really seem to be in the bounds of realism, but I'm serious! It happened!)

So go ahead, think you can beat me with a dumber family member or friend?

Edit: Also, if you happen to be knowledgeable on the forums or you've seen people post this on forums, feel free to post those too.

No names please.
[Off-topic] stamatis:
its not tech question but its funny....

i had saw a guy(troll) on a forum asking how to register!

looooooooooooooool
[Off-topic] sniper:
"How do I turn on the dvd player?" -my mom

Click here for custom mods for your E4GT
[Off-topic] iok1:
Is the iPhone better than your phone?

Sent from my jelly bean
[Off-topic] panpjp:
How can I shutdown my PC? -my health education teacher :p (he really said that)
[Off-topic] WiredPirate:
Yup, I hear this frequently.
[Off-topic] veeman:
So can't you just Photoshop the video to be HD?
[Off-topic] StormMcCloud:
"My laptop just died and I had it plugged in you need to fix it." - Random stupid officer

*I check the power cable, sure enough it's plugged into the back of the laptop...just not the wall. I plug it into the wall and turn the laptop back on.*

"Sir, you have to actually plug the cable into the wall, not just the back of the computer." - Me

Yep, officers are the ones with the college education but they are easily the stupidest people in the military.
[Off-topic] vedf:
So all these programs that are popping up and asking me to update them (Adobe flash, btw).... are they free? Do I have to pay?!!
[Off-topic] thebeastglasser:
Hahahaha this awesome. It turns out I'm not he only one with stupid people in my life. :angel:
[Off-topic] kevin2516:
How do I turn off the YouTube?
[Off-topic] cascabel:
Came in just today: i don't need the pc to connect my router to my modem, right?? :D

i can post the ss of that sms if you need proof. :D
[Off-topic] LordManhattan:
This happened a couple of years ago. A friend of mine (blond female, 18)

F = Friend

M = Me

(MSN conversation)

F - How do i (something, can't remember)

M - Open your browser.

F - What's that?

M - It's your internet browser

F - Internet browser?

M - Yes

F - Where do i find that?

M - Fine, open Internet Explorer

F - I've opened Google. Where do i find Internet Explorer?
[Off-topic] fishingfon:
My mother said to me after I got my galaxy s2:

Is that an iphone?

I said: no

She said: what is it then?

I said: it is a smart phone

She said: so it's a iphone then,

I said: no the iphone is made by apple, this is made by Samsung,

She said: what's Samsung,

I said: it is a company which doesn't make the iphone,

She said: oh f*** this, if you can't explain anything, I am not going to listen.

This is true lol

Corey

---------- Post added at 02:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:01 AM ----------

My mother said to me after I got my galaxy s2:

Is that an iphone?

I said: no

She said: what is it then?

I said: it is a smart phone

She said: so it's a iphone then,

I said: no the iphone is made by apple, this is made by Samsung,

She said: what's Samsung,

I said: it is a company which doesn't make the iphone,

She said: oh f*** this, if you can't explain anything, I am not going to listen.

This is true lol

Corey
[Off-topic] ArTrix:
Well, my mom asked me, where she can find her wireless cable.

Another time, my grandpa wanted to know where his bluetooth cable is and I was like, go search it in the instructions, maybe you will find it. Good Luck.
[Off-topic] FromiOSToAndroid:
"How do I turn off Caps Lock?"

"Does your Samsung phone have iOS?"

"Where is the wireless cable?"

Is there a difference between windows and mac?"
[Off-topic] asvantypography:
How to move the pointer on desktop?
[Off-topic] ross231:
apparently, people call technology support lines, and say "where is the any key"

A funny video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eL_yw_rwec&playnext=1&list=PL4153AF46EADC4DB3&feature=results_video

Watch it, its really funny.
[Off-topic] vanessaem:
A call from my mother.

Mom: Why won't computer turn on? Can you come over and take a look at it?

I drove 5 miles to her house.

Me: (Took a look at it and saw she had it unplugged. I plugged it back in, turned it on, said nothing, and walked out. *Sigh* )

When it comes to PC matters, she doesn't like to problem solve on her own sometimes. :rolleyes:
[Off-topic] gagdude:
You should have said "yes, it is the new iPad Mini but a prototype from Apple, so I get to use it before it comes to the market!"

Would love to see his reaction
[Off-topic] deathnotice01:
ugh, i was being sarcastic,

oh i have tons of these since im on tech support,

[At straighttalk]

Cust: Hi I want to buy one of those nokia blackberry phones (it was actually a samsung phone lol)

Me: Sure thing maam, however we dont sell blackberries just nokia phones, can you please describe the phone further for me so i can place you order? (i acted stupid to further lengthen the situation)

Cust: Oh you know, the blackberry one, has a tiny keyboard and stuff, i think its a nokia blackberry since they own the keyboard thingy and i wanna BBM (like what?)

[also from straight talk]

Me: ok so will you be using a service card or a debit/credit card for this transaction?

Cust: a service card

Me: alrighty then, can u please provide me the Service PIN of the card?

Cust: where is that at?

Me: at the back of the card sir, its a set of numbers which will appear after you scratched the gray area at the back

Cust: ok, so i have to scratch this thing off the back?

Me: Yes sir,

Cust: ok, just lemme get a coin here

Me: Take your time sir, I'll be right here awaiting for your reply

(was starting to get confused as a minute past by and he did'nt say anything)

Me: Sir?

Cust: *struggling voice* Yea?

Me: Oh, just wanted to verify if you have already scratched the card

Cust: I'm trying but its not scratchin *struggling voice again*, there aint no numbers at the back no matter how hard i try

(Logic tells me the customer has no idea of what he's doing)

Me: Sir, can you please tell me what does it say at the front of your card?

Cust: Hmm, i see numbers and a visa debit, i think these are not the numbers you are looking for since its at the front, or maybe this is the wrong card

(lol he actually mistaken the debit card for a service card and he tried to scratch the card)

Me: sir, you actually have a debit card not a service card

Cust: Oh, can i buy minutes using this debit thing?

Me: Yes sir, i will process that for you

.........

(the transaction actually failed since he was using someone else's debit and failed to verify the security questions)

---------- Post added at 02:46 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:39 AM ----------

[another ST customer]

Me: ok maam, since you verified the security questions i can now proceed to your transaction, now before i deactivate your phone, i need to first ask you the reason for your service deactivation and after this process it will be permanently deactivated until you add another $45 card and all the remaining minutes until the next service end date will be lost, will that be ok?

Cust: I dont care what you do, just deactivate it now!, my phone got stolen about a week ago and i found it again on the train station and guess what?, it has lots of PORN VIDEOS on it, i know its against your companies rules so just to play safe, deactivate it now!
[Off-topic] AtoZ0to9:
ugh, ok... lol
[Off-topic] mtbrgeek:
installed dual displays on an elderly users machine.

after i explained how it worked and showed her moving windows between screens i go to leave.

She panics and calls me back into the room.

She then demands that i move her internet radio application to the other monitor, because that is the monitor with the speaker bar on it.........

.........

:crying:
[Off-topic] AtoZ0to9:
"What's the power cord? Oh... Well I have two power cords, which one?"
[Off-topic] hcxeron:
apple vs samsung

samsung investing in technology

apple investing in filthy rich lawyers
[Off-topic] youngshredder:
How do I install CM9 on the iPhone?
[Off-topic] swapnil360:
I searched for AOKP in the Play Store. Can't find it.
[Off-topic] mv1luv:
Can you help me jailbreak my android.. wtf?!
[Off-topic] Theonew:
"How do you root the iPhone?"
[Off-topic] Justice™:
"Can Blackberries be jailbroken?"
[Off-topic] AtoZ0to9:
You can load a hybrid OS to them...
[Off-topic] 063_XOBX:
Doesn't really seem worth it with the middling hardware. You can get a comparably powered Android device for less.
[Off-topic] AtoZ0to9:
Build quality is about all I'll give a blackberry and for a while that wasn't even there...
[Off-topic] Theonew:
"How do I root my phone?"
[Off-topic] :
Yesterday , I got PM'ed by someone on XDA asking what "computer programming" was.

Last week , I got asked if Android worked on Nokias and if they could get it on a Nokia 6120 Classic litterally and this was a fellow student (15 years of age"
[Off-topic] DemisesAngel:
This didn't happen to me, just heard the story:

The student was doing a presentation on wireless networking, during one of the slides it says "Wi-Fi Connection" in part of the sentence. Professor raises her hand and says, "What's Wee-Fee? (how she pronounced it)."
[Off-topic] mtmerrick:
http://www.mlno.org/index.php/topic,5739.msg235076.html

^a conversation I was involved in where a friend of mine swears there is no such thing as plasma TVs, because they're not made of plasma >_<

I posted the link because I knew you wouldn't believe me otherwise.
[Off-topic] DanceOff:
I was getting 3g speeds as low as 25 kb/s so I called my providor for complaining

He said

"Sir, have you tried gsm only mode? "
[Off-topic] nodixe:
I think a lot of people believe that iphone=smartphone....my dad still refers to any and all video games as Nintendo as does the rest of my family

SCH i400->MB810->XT862 sent using Tapatalk 2
[Off-topic] Montoyatok:
Been there before, called then to say my SIM card was faulty

He said: "did you put it in the phone"

You Don't Say??
[Off-topic] DanceOff:
Lol
[Off-topic] :
The most stupid question I have been asked is:

How do I turn off capslock?
[Off-topic] iok1:
FTFY

Sent from my jelly bean
[Off-topic] xtc714:
My mom says Nintendo to when I'm playing my ps3 or games
[Off-topic] veeman:
*while pointing at the asterisk key*

Is that the pound key or the hash key? I know it's one of those.

How do you get the backwards b?
[Off-topic] Retechy:
"Okay. I want to look up something. I'm on Google...What do I do now?"
[Off-topic] deathnotice01:
Me: Ok sir we will activate your AT&T voicemail service, just follow the voice prompts ok?

Customer: Ok, wait....wait...... It asked me if i was english or mexican

Dafaq?
[Off-topic] TheSkinnyDrummer:
My mother in law refers to DVDs as "DVD tapes".

Sent from your mom.
[Off-topic] DanceOff:
Customer:“I love my new desktop so much.It’s powerful and fast .I especially like the new cup holder that came with it.

Support:“Ma’am….What are you referring to when you say cup holder?”

Customer:“My desktop came with this neat slide out cup holder.”
[Off-topic] Ichigo:
Friend: "So after I root my android device, it'll turn into an iPad and run iOS?!?"

Me: *Facepalm*,
[Off-topic] jalaazul:
When I was a kid, I hated when my mom came home with anything technical. She wouldn't rtfm for s**t! She'd make me teach her how to use whatever new gadget she had obtained that day.

The worst was trying to tell her how to burn a cd over the phone, for over four phuqing hours!

So every stupid tech question has been asked by my mother...and I used to be a csr for T-mo!

Darling Nikki's younger sister ;p
[Off-topic] the playa!:
idk
[Off-topic] GuyInTheCorner:
*facepalm* noobs, what can you do? Nice pic by the way :)

Me: whats so good about the iPhone 5 compared to any android phone?

Friend: well it can do 1080p recording.

Me: we had that way before you.

Friend: faster processor

Me: quadcore 1.8 GHz

Friend: 8MP iSight camera

Me: 8MP camera 2 years before you

Friend: *while walking away* F You

Sent from my inter galactic super fantastic communication device.
[Off-topic] defcomg:
Someone once asked me, can i download more ram and hdd space:D
[Off-topic] deathnotice01:
This day:

(after a long conversation)

Me: I'm sorry maam but this is technical support, if you want i can have a sales agent on the line for you,

Customer: NO!, my question is i have a uverse tv box, a friend of mine told me i can buy a "self-install kit" to make my uverse tv faster, i just need the instructions to assemble them, a link to the website or you can send it to my att mailbox?, is that so hard to understand for you conrad?

Me: Well, let me check that on the system, for a moment please (puts mute on and laughs so fking hard),

Me: After exhausing all my tools here, i could not locate the said manual you requested

Customer: YOU ARE STUPID! get me a supervisor right away!

Me: Right away maam, please stay on the line

Customer's Name: Michelle Bynes
[Off-topic] system.img:
http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120327042254AAL8bFM

Not from my family or friends but I thought I'd share
[Off-topic] Ichigo:
But it does get heavier...

Sent from the North Pole
[Off-topic] funnypharmacist:
I have 80GB hard drive so shifted to windows XP to save some space

A friend of mine was doing something on my computer and atonce he asked "can i change wallpaper on XP"

*facepalm*

Sent either from My Nexus S or my Galaxy Y
[Off-topic] TheLegendaryJay:
Other person "Why do I have to reboot it to make it work?"

Me "Because that's how you fix things in IT"
[Off-topic] Pancakes_Gio:
"Should I buy a blackberry or an android phone?"

Me: *facepalm*
[Off-topic] kylec:
My mum: "who makes the ipad, apple or Samsung?"

Me: "... ... Apple... Why?"

Mum: "the computer says if I answer correctly I win an ipad"

Me: "pretty sure that's a scam haha"

My mum is so non-techy lol
[Off-topic] geekgie:
Trying to troubleshoot why the "computer keeps eating my disks!" She had lost 4 disks to the computer; 30 minutes of trouble shooting later I realize the factory didn't install a CD drive and she had been dropping her disks into the tower. >.<
[Off-topic] Babydollll:
It took thirty minutes to figure that out? :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::what:
[Off-topic] shravbits:
Whats this android thing people keep talking about? --me when android 1.5 was new
[Off-topic] gagdude:
Lol
[Off-topic] ShadowLea:
"I want to use the internet, not some stupid program. Why can't I just open the internet?" - Client, about a browser. Someone hand me something heavy, please...
[Off-topic] .xxx.:
I was asked by a beginner, what is xda? My reply to which was 'dude, are you kidding me? You will be spanked by me if you ask this question again to me' hahahaha.. lol

Sent from Hell!!

---------- Post added at 09:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:58 PM ----------

Another one - can i copy facebook to my pen drive and use it on my laptop some other time lol..

My reply - ' yes bro, you can. The only thing is you don't need to copy facebook. Just purchase a pen drive that can connect you to internet xD'

Sent from Hell!!
[Off-topic] elementalx:
I love your conv with your friend

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-T989
[Off-topic] ZaJules:
"Hi please can you help I cant get onto the internet!"

Is your router on?

"Whats That?'

The Little box with lights on that is plugged into your phone line!

"Ahhh, Yup!"

Are the ADSL and Data lights both on?

"Yup"

Are you receiving email

"Yup"

When you open your browser what comes up?

"Browser?"

The Little Icon with a Blue E on it!

"Ahhh, The Google Page comes up with the search block thingie"

Click on the search Block and type something

"Nothing happens!"

Did you click on the Google Search button or press enter on the keyboard?

"No Nothing happens when I type"

Is there a little light on your keyboard?

"Nope"

Is the keyboard plugged in?

"umm, is it a round purple plug?"

Yup!

"oh I was wondering what that was for" :silly:

I was about to tell her to be very carefull when plugging it in as it only goes in one way and the pins bend easily when she hung up on me

Calls me back 2 minutes later to say

"It wont go in no mater how hard I push or twist it!"

Its broken now you will need to get a new one!

"Why Didnt you Warn me!!!!"
[Off-topic] funnypharmacist:
And friend from college just got himself a galaxy Y duos

And says I am going to buy windows 8 OS for my phone

Sent from my Galaxy Y - A phone with Small Screen and Big Buttons
[Off-topic] GuyInTheCorner:
Girlfriend: Ha! My desire C (which, by the way, is a disgrace to the Desire namesake) has a better battery life than your Desire HD!

Me: Cause its a new phone and its stock.

Girlfriend: what's stock?

Me: when its not rooted and isn't running a custom ROM.

Girlfriend: but still, my phone beats yours.

Me: ***** please (I said it in a joking way) I have sense 4.0, which isn't officially supported on it, and I have a larger screen and a smaller battery AND I'm overclocked at 1.2 GHz.

Girlfriend: yeah well, my phones still better than yours!

Women.....

Sent from my unstable mind
[Off-topic] ShadowLea:
Oi.... :p

Client: Why is my phone not turning on?

Me: Have you charged it?

Client: Oops, no.
[Off-topic] AtoZ0to9:
When I was at Comcast I talked to a lady who had never turned her ipad off since she got it... in christmas 2010... just kept charging it... it had been on for nearly a year...
[Off-topic] abtxpress:
My mom asked me "how do you tell if an app in the market is free?" Really? She said she didn't want to see no unexpected charges on her bill.
[Off-topic] strip419:
Mom: Take my new phone number and send me the picture via Bluetooth....my phone has Bluetooth you know

Me: I don't need your number to send it....just switch your on Bluetooth and make sure its discoverable

Mom: Dad told me I could get a virus if I leave ma Bluetooth on for long....so be fast before I get one

Me: Dad told you that?....

Mom: yes..... uhmmm..how do you on the Bluetooth?

Me: ask dad..

Dad: (after being asked ) uhmm honey I think you have to take out your SIM card...after you put the phone back on, the Bluetooth will switch on automatically, the Bluetooth interferes with the mobile signals so they can't work together

Mom: oh OK .......

Now I really understand the phrase "for better for worse"
[Off-topic] Babydollll:
Can I listen to music with wifi on?
[Off-topic] hostilevader:
You'll sleep on the floor tonight :D

Sent from white and sexy GS2

---------- Post added at 01:16 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:15 AM ----------

Sent from white and sexy GS2
[Off-topic] raasm007:
How do I login to the market?

sent from my GT-I5801
[Off-topic] :
One time I was using my one x and one of my friends said, "that's such a cool phone is it the new iPhone?" I told him no and how it was better than the iPhone and he changed his mind about it being cool.
[Off-topic] vizzy:
*mum on a website needing help*

Mum: need your help come here.

Me: it's something stupid isn't it?

Mum: no, I've tried looking myself but I can't find it anywhere.

Me: what ?

Mum: the 'any' key it just doesn't exist.

Me: oh yeah, just press ctrl+w.
[Off-topic] TheSkinnyDrummer:
Not a question, but the assumption people make that if i don't have iTunes on my phone, that I am unable to download anything, ever.
[Off-topic] 063_XOBX:
"Why won't my x open after I renamed it?"

They deleted the file extension.
[Off-topic] GuyInTheCorner:
I'm fifteen... I'll be sleeping in my own bed :D

Sent from PACman'd Desire HD
[Off-topic] GuyInTheCorner:
Friend: so if I root I can do all these amazing things?

Me: yeah it makes your phone a lot better.

Friend: if I wanted a Better phone I'd just get a Galaxy phone.

Me: why spend all that money

Friend: cause my phone is getting old.

(After buying a One V two months ago)

Me: idiot...

Sent from PACman'd Desire HD
[Off-topic] leezrd:
Work at Walmart and someone asked if they plugged their phone line in router and install " high speed" net 10 CD to their laptop will they get high speed wireless on laptop
[Off-topic] Somcom3X:
How do you jailbreak an android...
[Off-topic] hostilevader:
Ah ok. So stop arguing about phones with your gf :D

Sent from a white and sexy GS2
[Off-topic] chrisrotolo:
whats an iphone?

really someone aske me this.
[Off-topic] :
I would've said "It's just a stupid over-rated phone that can't do anything."
[Off-topic] Victor B:
Friends PC wasn't working right so I went to check it out...

Friend: So do I need a new modem? (points to tower)

Me: That is your PC

Friend: I thought that was my PC...(ponts to monitor)

Me:...not sure if serious...
[Off-topic] :
Upgrade the RAM on his iPhone to 1 terabytes
[Off-topic] Shawn:
How is a Galaxy s3 a droid?

Apparently every phone that runs android is now a "Droid" when it really isn't. I have dumb friends. Apparently I don't gave a galaxy s2. I have a Galaxy s2 Droid. I <3 dumb people(:

Sent from my SII(i777) SuperNexus 4.1.2 10/17/12 build
[Off-topic] Felimenta97:
My Xperia S is called "IPhone Galaxy PlayStation 3 Portable", when it isn't a "tablet".

"What really matters in this world, anyway?"
[Off-topic] Babydollll:
This. I hate hearing.... "Oh you have a droid"

No.. I have a SGSIII/One X/Amaze...

My response: "Droid is a trademark owned by George Lucas and used by Verizon under license."

Stop being stupid".

Sent from somewhere....if I could only remember where....
[Off-topic] gagdude:
More like "hey you have an iPhone!cooool"

"No its android"

"Wtf is that. That sucks"
[Off-topic] VaderSKN:
My friend got a *new* Xperia Arc, and he says that his phone is much faster and better than my Jaffa cake (HTC One X).

F: friend

M: me

F: my phone is the world's best phone!

M: Does it have Tegra 3 quad-core?

F: Yes

M: Newest Android version?

F: Yes (I saw, he is on Gingerbread)

M: Does it have root?

F: Yes

M: Prove it. Can you overclock your phone and change system files?

F: Yes I can

I did a facepalm so big that I still have red areas in my face.

EDIT: He said also that only his phone got widgets.
[Off-topic] ShadowLea:
"Oh, cool, you bought a new iPad?"
[Off-topic] Babydollll:
My response to those people?

Snowflake approved this message....
[Off-topic] kaiowas82:
Long time ago I had a computer shop....I sold a PC to this guy, assembled for him, showed him that was working properly (win 3.1 at the time), so he was happy with it and took it home.

After an hour he was back with everything I sold him, not just the PC unit, everything, even the mouse pad: he was quite upset because all the words from windows menus disappeared... quick check and yes, was working fine but all the writings were gone.

Long story short, I worked about an hour on it before realizing the he had setup the color of the font used the same than the windows background.

I've asked him the equivalent of 50euros (at the time we had lira in Italy) saying him he got a virus from a friend CD he installed and it was hard to get rid of :D

Edit: if u are stupid you pay a tax on that!
[Off-topic] dameer:
"Will facebook work on my new laptop?"
[Off-topic] cor4twenty:
My phone has been freezing up on me lately. It's probably because of the cold front right?
[Off-topic] Babydollll:
I thought the GPS thing was cuz my boyfriend was trying to track me....

0.o

Also this person thinks that Facebook is the internet.

-_- :/

Sent from somewhere....if I could only remember where....