[Sony Ericsson Xperia Mini, Mini Pro, Xperia Pro, A] Ticklefish:
Hmm..try this instead:

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<com.android.systemui.statusbar.phone.PhoneStatusBarView android:orientation="vertical" android:id="@id/msim_status_bar" android:focusable="true" android:fitsSystemWindows="true" android:descendantFocusability="afterDescendants"
xmlns:android="http://schemas.android.com/apk/res/android"
xmlns:systemui="http://schemas.android.com/apk/res/com.android.systemui">
<FrameLayout android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent">
<ImageView android:id="@id/opaque_bg" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:src="@drawable/status_bar_opaque_background" android:scaleType="fitXY" />
<ImageView android:id="@id/transparent_bg" android:visibility="gone" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:src="@drawable/status_bar_transparent_background" android:scaleType="fitXY" />
<ImageView android:id="@id/light_bg" android:visibility="gone" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:src="@drawable/status_bar_light_background" android:scaleType="fitXY" />
<ImageView android:id="@id/lights_out_bg" android:visibility="gone" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:src="@drawable/status_bar_lights_out_background" android:scaleType="fitXY" />
</FrameLayout>
<ImageView android:id="@id/notification_lights_out" android:paddingLeft="6.0dip" android:paddingBottom="2.0dip" android:visibility="gone" android:layout_width="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:src="@drawable/ic_sysbar_lights_out_dot_small" android:scaleType="center" />
<LinearLayout android:orientation="horizontal" android:id="@id/status_bar_contents" android:paddingLeft="6.0dip" android:paddingRight="6.0dip" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent">
<LinearLayout android:orientation="horizontal" android:id="@id/notification_icon_area" android:layout_width="0.0dip" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:layout_weight="1.0">
<com.android.systemui.statusbar.StatusBarIconView android:id="@id/moreIcon" android:visibility="gone" android:layout_width="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:src="@drawable/stat_notify_more" />
<com.android.systemui.statusbar.phone.IconMerger android:gravity="center_vertical" android:orientation="horizontal" android:id="@id/notificationIcons" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:layout_alignParentLeft="true" />
</LinearLayout>
<LinearLayout android:orientation="horizontal" android:id="@id/system_icon_area" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="fill_parent">
<com.android.systemui.statusbar.policy.Clock android:textAppearance="@style/TextAppearance.StatusBar.Clock" android:gravity="left|center" android:id="@id/clock" android:paddingLeft="6.0dip" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:singleLine="true" />
</LinearLayout>
<RelativeLayout android:id="@+id/statusbarrightside" android:layout_width="0.0dip" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:layout_weight="1.0">
<LinearLayout android:id="@+id/statusbarinsiderightside" android:orientation="horizontal" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:layout_alignParentRight="true">
<LinearLayout android:gravity="center_vertical" android:orientation="horizontal" android:id="@id/statusIcons" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="fill_parent" />
<LinearLayout android:gravity="center" android:orientation="horizontal" android:id="@id/signal_battery_cluster" android:paddingLeft="2.0dip" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="fill_parent">
<include android:id="@id/msim_signal_cluster" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="wrap_content" layout="@layout/msim_signal_cluster_view" />
<TextView android:layout_gravity="left|center" android:id="@id/battery_text" android:paddingLeft="4.0dip" android:visibility="gone" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="wrap_content" android:text="@string/status_bar_settings_settings_button" android:singleLine="true" style="@style/SystemBarNotificationText" />
<ImageView android:id="@id/battery" android:paddingLeft="4.0dip" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="wrap_content" />
</LinearLayout>
</LinearLayout>
</RelativeLayout>
</LinearLayout>
<LinearLayout android:orientation="horizontal" android:id="@id/ticker" android:paddingLeft="6.0dip" android:animationCache="false" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent">
<ImageSwitcher android:id="@id/tickerIcon" android:layout_width="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:layout_height="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:layout_marginRight="4.0dip">
<com.android.systemui.statusbar.AnimatedImageView android:layout_width="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:layout_height="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:scaleType="center" />
<com.android.systemui.statusbar.AnimatedImageView android:layout_width="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:layout_height="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:scaleType="center" />
</ImageSwitcher>
<com.android.systemui.statusbar.phone.TickerView android:id="@id/tickerText" android:paddingTop="2.0dip" android:paddingRight="10.0dip" android:layout_width="0.0dip" android:layout_height="wrap_content" android:layout_weight="1.0">
<TextView android:textAppearance="@style/TextAppearance.StatusBar.PhoneTicker" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="wrap_content" android:singleLine="true" />
<TextView android:textAppearance="@style/TextAppearance.StatusBar.PhoneTicker" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="wrap_content" android:singleLine="true" />
</com.android.systemui.statusbar.phone.TickerView>
</LinearLayout>
</com.android.systemui.statusbar.phone.PhoneStatusBarView>

This is a bit of a gamble, I'm trying to do something slightly different to what I talked about in the op.

This code here is using the Best Method:

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<com.android.systemui.statusbar.phone.PhoneStatusBarView android:orientation="vertical" android:id="@id/msim_status_bar" android:focusable="true" android:fitsSystemWindows="true" android:descendantFocusability="afterDescendants"
xmlns:android="http://schemas.android.com/apk/res/android"
xmlns:systemui="http://schemas.android.com/apk/res/com.android.systemui">
<FrameLayout android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent">
<ImageView android:id="@id/opaque_bg" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:src="@drawable/status_bar_opaque_background" android:scaleType="fitXY" />
<ImageView android:id="@id/transparent_bg" android:visibility="gone" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:src="@drawable/status_bar_transparent_background" android:scaleType="fitXY" />
<ImageView android:id="@id/light_bg" android:visibility="gone" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:src="@drawable/status_bar_light_background" android:scaleType="fitXY" />
<ImageView android:id="@id/lights_out_bg" android:visibility="gone" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:src="@drawable/status_bar_lights_out_background" android:scaleType="fitXY" />
</FrameLayout>
<ImageView android:id="@id/notification_lights_out" android:paddingLeft="6.0dip" android:paddingBottom="2.0dip" android:visibility="gone" android:layout_width="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:src="@drawable/ic_sysbar_lights_out_dot_small" android:scaleType="center" />
<LinearLayout android:orientation="horizontal" android:id="@id/status_bar_contents" android:paddingLeft="6.0dip" android:paddingRight="6.0dip" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent">
<LinearLayout android:id="@+id/statusbarleftside" android:orientation="horizontal" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:layout_weight="1.0">
<LinearLayout android:orientation="horizontal" android:id="@id/notification_icon_area" android:layout_width="0.0dip" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:layout_weight="1.0">
<com.android.systemui.statusbar.StatusBarIconView android:id="@id/moreIcon" android:visibility="gone" android:layout_width="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:src="@drawable/stat_notify_more" />
<com.android.systemui.statusbar.phone.IconMerger android:gravity="center_vertical" android:orientation="horizontal" android:id="@id/notificationIcons" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:layout_alignParentLeft="true" />
</LinearLayout>
</LinearLayout>
<com.android.systemui.statusbar.policy.Clock android:textAppearance="@style/TextAppearance.StatusBar.Clock" android:gravity="left|center" android:id="@id/clock" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:singleLine="true" />
<RelativeLayout android:id="@+id/statusbarrightside" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:layout_weight="1.0">
<LinearLayout android:id="@+id/statusbarinsiderightside" android:orientation="horizontal" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="fill_parent" android:layout_alignParentRight="true">
<LinearLayout android:orientation="horizontal" android:id="@id/system_icon_area" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="fill_parent">
<LinearLayout android:gravity="center_vertical" android:orientation="horizontal" android:id="@id/statusIcons" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="fill_parent" />
<LinearLayout android:gravity="center" android:orientation="horizontal" android:id="@id/signal_battery_cluster" android:paddingLeft="2.0dip" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="fill_parent">
<include android:id="@id/msim_signal_cluster" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="wrap_content" layout="@layout/msim_signal_cluster_view" />
<TextView android:layout_gravity="left|center" android:id="@id/battery_text" android:paddingLeft="4.0dip" android:visibility="gone" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="wrap_content" android:text="@string/status_bar_settings_settings_button" android:singleLine="true" style="@style/SystemBarNotificationText" />
<ImageView android:id="@id/battery" android:paddingLeft="4.0dip" android:layout_width="wrap_content" android:layout_height="wrap_content" />
</LinearLayout>
</LinearLayout>
</LinearLayout>
</RelativeLayout>
</LinearLayout>
<LinearLayout android:orientation="horizontal" android:id="@id/ticker" android:paddingLeft="6.0dip" android:animationCache="false" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="fill_parent">
<ImageSwitcher android:id="@id/tickerIcon" android:layout_width="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:layout_height="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:layout_marginRight="4.0dip">
<com.android.systemui.statusbar.AnimatedImageView android:layout_width="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:layout_height="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:scaleType="center" />
<com.android.systemui.statusbar.AnimatedImageView android:layout_width="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:layout_height="@dimen/status_bar_icon_size" android:scaleType="center" />
</ImageSwitcher>
<com.android.systemui.statusbar.phone.TickerView android:id="@id/tickerText" android:paddingTop="2.0dip" android:paddingRight="10.0dip" android:layout_width="0.0dip" android:layout_height="wrap_content" android:layout_weight="1.0">
<TextView android:textAppearance="@style/TextAppearance.StatusBar.PhoneTicker" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="wrap_content" android:singleLine="true" />
<TextView android:textAppearance="@style/TextAppearance.StatusBar.PhoneTicker" android:layout_width="fill_parent" android:layout_height="wrap_content" android:singleLine="true" />
</com.android.systemui.statusbar.phone.TickerView>
</LinearLayout>
</com.android.systemui.statusbar.phone.PhoneStatusBarView>