[Networking] entropism:
How's this one for you:

Signed up with AT&T in September, bringing my own device (an Infuse) so I could upgrade at any time. Added a work discount, so a contract is involved.

October 2nd, I get my girl an iphone 4s (contract free) and we convert to a family plan. Due to the nature of our numbers, we have to convert our individual accounts to a corporate account, then convert that to a family plan. Keep this in mind...

October 10th, work discount still not applied, now they're telling me that when they reapplied my discount, they lost my upgrade, so they're going to reset everything. Also was triple billed, so they gave me about $300 in credits to bring me down to normal levels.

November 6th, work discount STILL not applied, they lost both of our upgrades now. 4 hours of calling gets things fixed (so I thought).

December 5th, work discount STILL not applied, so I call up. Upgrade for my girlfriend's line restored, but mine is "lost forever". Retentions "manager" tells me I can either lose my upgrade or he'll send me any device that isn't apple to me for free, and overnight it to me. I choose the white Skyrocket, but the point of having my upgrade was to eventually get the Nexus. I'm not happy. Overnighted phone takes 5 days to get to me, during which I have no phone.

December 13th, call to complain. Work discount FINALLY applied, tons of credits given to me to make up for the inconvenience. Retentions manager gives me a permanent $10 credit to give me a free third line, so I have another permanent upgrade. I'm relatively satisfied at this point. Due to the amount of credits on my account, my balance is NEGATIVE $9.

December 20th, I get a call from COLLECTIONS saying that I owe $600 to AT&T due to 4 months of unpaid bills. Seems like when they converted us from consumer to corporate to consumer again, they NEVER CANCELLED THE INDIVIDUAL LINES. I have to call in to AT&T and spend 3 more hours clearing this up.

January 4th, my 30 days with the Skyrocket is almost up and I get MAYBE 4 hours of battery life, along with a horribly splotchy screen. I call to have it replaced under the 30 day return period. Retentions tells me I have to pay a $35 restocking fee. I explain that this is a mistake, and that I'm a former employee and specifically state the return policy to them. I'm told to hold while she asks her supervisor to waive my fee. 10 minutes later, it gets interesting...

I get transferred to the FRAUD department, and a supervisor, "Mr. Lopez" tells me that my account is frozen due to fraud. I'm told I can't return my phone, I can't upgrade, can't cancel, can't due anything. If I need to replace my device I need to pay FULL RETAIL and then I'll get my money back once they receive my device. Being a former employee, this also includes at least a month wait after they get the device back in stock. I ask him to tell me WHY I'm in for fraud, and he refuses, calling me a liar, a thief, and starts getting quite loud. I hang up, and he calls back. His callback number is to the call center 30 minutes from my house, and I explain to him that if he doesn't explain why I'm in for fraud, I'll drive to his call center and speak to his supervisors. He hangs up on me. My account is now locked, and I can't do ANYTHING.

I call back and speak to another call center's fraud center dept, and they patiently listen to my story and confirm that I had no reason to be flagged for fraud. They tell me to go to the store and return my device, and credit me $35 just in case they charge me a restocking fee. As of right now I've filed a report against "Mr Lopez" which turns out isn't his real name. They had to go through the notes and found his codes, so hopefully he gets let go for this. The behavior used was absolutely inexcusable.

So yeah, I'm now stuck with a phone I don't want, but hopefully everything is fixed. My girl doesn't want to leave AT&T, and her mother is using the third line, so it would be a huge inconvenience to take off for Verizon or T-Mobile. I'm hoping this gets resolved once & for all.

TLDR version - AT&T bent me over and broke out the sandpaper condom.