[Off-topic] Dirk:
Alan, personally i think you're a bloody nice bloke. You're open, honest, sincere.. and i don't think you'd know a scruple if it hit you in the face. Basically you're too nice for most girls you're age. Hell, too nice for most girls full stop. You are in more danger of getting into the 'friendship zone' than any man i know!

All that means is you'll find it hard to find a woman that deserves you. The others will be going after guys that treat them crap, that don't appreciate them and who take them for granted, while you are left looking on from the sidelines wondering to yourself, "what the hell does she see in him?" That is the lot of the nice guy i'm afraid.

The good news is that those aren't the women you want to be with, and you're better off without them anyway. Right now, if one of the more shallow females that you may be acquainted with started showing interest, you would be right to question if there may be a chance that you became a gaping asshole over-night. If however, an equally kind and sincere woman decided to show some interest, no matter how long it took for that to happen, you would know that it's something worth betting the bank on.

The worst thing you could do right now, and the biggest pitfall, would be to try and be someone you're not, just to attract someone you like. Tempting as it may be to try and elevate your status to that of some sort of man-god, women of either kind will see right through that facade. Either way you'd lose!

What you should be doing right now is carrying on with your life. By all means take the opportunity to speak to as many members of the opposite sex as possible. But do it as one person to another, not as some post-pubescent teenager desperate to get his rocks off, Otherwise you may as well tattoo 'i want to get laid' on your forehead, guaranteeing that it will never happen! Don't be a douche, be the nice guy that you actually are. Be yourself.

Of course if you're good, you can fake confidence and charm. I know this from experience. You can trick a woman into liking you. But ultimately, you lose big time doing that. You can't keep up the pretence forever, and you'll always be with a person you have no respect for anyway. Epic Fail basically!

I'd say that perhaps 5% of the worlds population are decent people. People that i personally would want to know. I'd include you in that small percentage. Sadly that means that the odds are stacked against you when it comes to finding a suitable partner. After all, you shouldn't have to settle for one of the 95%, and everyone on your level is fighting it out for the remaining 5%! But on the upside, those 5% of decent women and prospective partners have already ruled out the 95% of sub-standard men and are looking for the 5% that they would be happy with too.

Another way to interpret that is to say that if you are average, and you are looking for average, there's a damn good chance that something will happen for you... no matter how 'average' that something is. If you are above average, and are looking for something that is equally decent, you had better bloody well be patient; but the payoff will be so much better in the end.

The way i see it playing out? One day when you're still scratching around in desperation trying to pinpoint your ideal woman, she'll already be in your life, trying to make herself known to you... and if you're lucky, you won't miss the signals.