[Off-topic] Omnichron:
1. They once named a street after Chuck Norris, but they had to close it down because no one dared cross Chuck Norris.

2. Chuck Norris flosses with an electric fence.

3. The truth hurts because Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it.

4. Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine

5. When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

6. Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language

7. Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

8. Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet

9. Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.

10. Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

11. Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

12. Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards

13. Chuck Norris is so awesome he created fire by rubbbing two ice cubes together.

14. Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.

15. Chuck Norris's tears cure every disease known to man. Too bad Chuck Norris never cries.

16. When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook you can feel it

17. There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

18. If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.

19. Chuck Norris does not have a middle name, nobody gets between Chuck Norris.

20. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

21. Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.

22. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

23. Did you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars......he was the force.

24. There is no CTRL key on Chuck Norris' keyboard cause Chuck Norris is always in control.

25. Chuck Norris wasn't born. Chuck Norris was unleashed.

26. Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.

27. Chuck Norris dug to the moon

28. C

29. Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Seconds.

30. When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.

31. Chuck Norris can bungee jump... without a cord

32. The creators of Mt. Rushmore were planning on placing Chuck Norris' face next to Washington, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.

33. In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris. No one has ever chosen Chuck

34. Chuck Norris only uses stunt doubles for crying scenes.

35. Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

36. Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

37. Once, Chuck Norris made a happy meal sad

38. Chuck Norris was ordered to go to court once but the judge never showed up.

39. Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.

40. Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter

41. Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

42. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

43. Dragons breathe fire, Chuck Norris breathes dragons

44. The word "Phobia" is Latin for Chuck Norris.

45. Chuck Norris once drowned a fish underwater.

46. NASA beams episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger to outer space as a warning for Aliens of what will happen if they invade Earth.

47. That's not an eclipse....that's the sun hiding from Chuck Norris.

48. There are no such things as Chuck Norris haters...........just people with short lives

49. Handicapped Parking is reserved for Chuck Norris. The picture shows what will happen to you if you take his spot.

50. Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.

:D