JEAN: (CONT)

And it gives him a feeling of security if he loses his job with that 180 dollars - at least he knows where his next TWO meals are coming from. You see, he's like this because he's insecure - he says he remembers the day when he almost starved to death - I remember it too - I was 20 minutes late with dinner. He's always been economical.. before we were married he used to say, "Jean, I'm saving for our home." After we were married, "Jean, I'm saving for our child". Now, "Jean, I'm saving for our old age" What have I got to look forward to, "Jean I'm saving for our funeral" Herbie do you know what time it is?

SHE WALKS BACK TO TABLE GLANCES AT HER WATCH AND TALKS TO HERBIE FOR FIRST TIME

HE MUMBLES, INCOHERENTLY

I thought you told me you had a big day ahead of you..

MUMBLES AGAIN

(MIMICKS HIS MUMBLING) I might as well give up - he's not going to talk to me till he's ready.

THROWS DOWN THE BILLS AND YELLS

ALAN:

Jean, you're ruining me with these bills -

-2-

**JEAN:**

He's ready. What's the matter darling?

**ALAN:**

Look at these bills! Here's one from the butcher, seventeen dollars.

**JEAN:**

I can't help it Herbie - meat is high - I paid a dollar a pound for liver.

**ALAN:**

A dollar a pound for liver! Whose liver was it - Rockefeller's????

**JEAN:**

Herbie, every month you carry on like this.

**ALAN:**

Would you mind telling me what you do with all the money I give you each week.

**JEAN:**

Well, I pay for the grocery store, the fruit store, the drug store, the laundry, the dry cleaners, and like that *(SNAPS FINGERS)* the money is gone.

-3-

**ALAN:**

You mean to tell me like that (SNAPS)

30 dollars is gone?

**JEAN:**

Well, to tell you the truth I had a quarter
left over from last week - and I squandered it
on a box of aspirins.

**ALAN:**

Jean, this is no joke. Saving is important.
What if I should lose my job.

**JEAN:**

You get another one.

**ALAN:**

It's not so easy. Out of a job. Looking
for work day after day. Pounding the
pavements looking for a job.. pounding..
pounding.. pounding.. but still no job..

**JEAN:**

No wonder you can't get a job - you're
standing in the same place all day.

**ALAN:**

Very funny, very funny. Jean, you just
don't know when you're well off. You got
a roof over your head, enough to eat, enough
clothes to wear - and it all cost money.

-4- (MORE)

**ALAN:** (CONT)

Do you know our furniture alone cost
$2500.00.

**JEAN:**

It was $2800.00 - I know -' cause my
parents paid for it.

**ALAN:**

Oh, now you're going to throw it up to me.
How about the sterling silver my parents
gave us?

**JEAN:**

Yeah - service for one!

**ALAN:**

Look Jean, what's all the fuss about?
Aren't I a good husband?

**JEAN:**

No.

**ALAN:**

Don't I give you everything you want?

**JEAN:**

No.

**ALAN:**

You're happy, aren't you?

**JEAN:**

No.

-5-

**ALAN:**

(TRIUMPHANT) So what are we arguing about?

**JEAN:**

Herbie, you should have been a lawyer.
Then you'd really know what un-employment is.

**ALAN:**

Be reasonable, Jean. If we save money now
you'll be happier in the long run. Now
you could save money on this cleaning woman
that comes in once a week. Get rid of her.

**JEAN:**

Get rid of her. You want me to scrub floors
on my hands and knees until I can't
straighten up; you want soap and water to
shrivel my hands; you want every muscle
in my body to ache and pain. Is that what
you want?

**ALAN:**

Jean, my only thought is for your happiness.

**JEAN:**

Look, Dream Prince, I'm tired of arguing.
You want to economize, we'll economize.

HE GETS INTO HIS JACKET
Now shoo, you're going to be late for work..
(CALLING) Robin, time to go to school.

-6-

ROBIN ENTERS.. APPROACHES

ALAN

ROBIN:

Daddy.

ALAN:

Yes, Robin?

ROBIN:

I heard what you said to Mommy about saving
money so you don't have to give me my
twenty-five cents allowance this week.

ALAN:

Allright Sweetheart. (TO JEAN) See, take
an example from your daughter.

WITH MENACING
SUPPRESSED ANGER

JEAN:

You give this poor child her twenty-five
cents or don't you dare set foot in this
house again.

ALAN IS TAKEN ABACK
AND HANDS THE CHILD A
QUARTER

ALAN:

OK, OK, (TO ROBIN) What are you a
troublemaker?

JEAN:

Allright, Daddy Warbucks, now go to work.

HE PICKS UP HIS
ENVELOPE TYPE BRIEFCASE

On your way out throw the garbage in the
incinerator,

SHE HANDS HIM
BULGING PAPER BAG

-7-

HE EXITS..

BUTTONING THE CHILD'S
COAT

JEAN:

(CALLING AFTER HIM) That's right dear,
ECONOMIZE!

ROBIN:

Mommy?

JEAN:

Yes, dear.

ROBIN:

What does economize mean?

JEAN:

It's a naughty word husbands use to
aggravate their wives.

ROBIN:

Really, Mommy?

JEAN:

No, honey. Economize means to cut down on
the amount of money they spend. Everybody
has to tighten their belts.

ROBIN:

Daddy can't economize, can he?

JEAN:

What do you mean, honey?

ROBIN:

Well he's always letting his belt out.

-9-

THEY KISS EACH OTHER
AND THE KID RUNS OUT

JEAN TAKES OFF APRON

**JEAN:**

You've got something there.. Now off to
school with you.

Well, before I clean the house I'll do my
shopping. Let's see what's a nice economical
supper I can make I know, I'll stop at the
grocers and get him some chili con carne
and hot peppers and then I'll stop at
the drug store and get him some bicarbonate
of soda. That sounds like a balanced diet.
Really balanced - it'll give him a 50-50
chance to survive. I think I'll go to
the drugstore first..

(TRANSITION MUSIC)

SCENE IS A DRUGSTORE
COUNTER. THERE IS A
WOMAN TALKING TO THE
CLERK

THIS IS SORT OF A HOITY-
TOITY WOMAN ACBOUT 35
FAIRLY WELL DRESSED. SHE
IS A BRAGGART

**WOMAN:**

I'd like some perfume, please, your very
best.

**CLERK:**

Yes, Mam. Right over here (POINTS)
Here's some toujours moi, that's fifteen
dollars an ounce.

**WOMAN:**

(NON-COMMITAL) Uh huh.

-10-

CLERK

(POINTING) And this is called "Fame", its
twelve dollars an ounce.

WOMAN

POINTING TO LARGER
BOTTLE ON COUNTER....

How much is this bottle?

CLERK

That's ninety-eight cents.

WOMAN

DABBING SOME ON HANDS
AND THEN BEHIND THE
EARS......

Oh, its smells Divine. What's it called?

CLERK

After Shave Lotion.

WOMAN

LOOKS AROUND
FURTIVELY.....

I'll take it.

SHE PUTS IT INTO HER
HANDBAG AND HANDS THE
CLERK A DOLLAR....

JEAN ENTERS AS THE WOMAN
IS JUST LEAVING THE
COUNTER....

JEAN

Uh, Oh...just my luck. There's Mrs. Hoity-
Toity. You know every woman brags a little
but she abuses the privilege. She puts on
airs because her husband mingles in high
society. I think he's a butler. She can
brag five times without catching her breath.

I'll prove it to you.

Hello, Mrs. Cornwall.

-11-

AFTER EACH BOAST JEAN
RAISES ONE FINGER ON
HER HAND UNTIL ALL
FIVE ARE UP......

WOMAN

Oh, Hel-lo, Jean. I'd love to stop for a
chat but I have so much to do. First I have
to stop at Tiffany's, they're resetting my
six caret ring you know and then I wanted to
do some shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue and I
have a beauty parlor appointment at Elizabeth
Arden's and I just hope I have time for a
cocktail at the StorkClub before I dash over
to Russek! to pick up my new mink coat.

JEAN

I'm busy too. After I'm through here I have
to dash over to Globberman's Meat Market and
pick up a plucked chicken.

WOMAN

Oh, I'd drop you off, dear but my husband
took the car today. We've been thinking of
buying a Cadillac and they've offered us
two thousand dollars on a trade-in for our
car.

JEAN

Two thousand dollars for a 1934 Chevvy???

WOMAN

They do have a nerve, don't they. Its in
such wonderful condition. Well, I've got
to dash. Bye now.

-12-

JEAN

JEAN WALKS OVER TO
COUNTER

Hello Mr. Collins.

CLERK

(JOVIAL)

Hello, beautiful.

JEAN

(FLATTERED & COY)

Now, Mr. Collins, you stop that.

CLERK

No, I mean it, Mrs. Carroll, you have the
kind of beauty that doesn't need cosmetics.

JEAN

MORE COY AND GIRLISH..

You really think so?

CLERK

I certainly do.

JEAN

Ahhhh.

CLERK

JOVIAL BUT BRISK....

Well, what'll it be today --

some wrinkle cream?....We're having a
special.

JEAN

No, all I need is a box of bicarbonate of
soda.

CLERK

Bicarbonate of soda..that reminds me--how

is your husband?

(CONT)

-13-

CLERK (CONT)

Here you are. By the way, here's something
that'll really make your husband sit up and
take notice.

TAKES BOTTLE OFF SHELF

JEAN

What is it T.N.T.

CLERK

A new Cologne...here take a whiff of this..
Only a dollar and a quarter.

OPENS BOTTLE AND PASSES
IT UNDER HER NOSE..

JEAN

Hmm, it is nice but I can't buy it--I'm
economizing.

CLERK

In that case you should take the large Economy

PULLS BIG BOTTLE UP FROM
UNDER COUNTER

Size--only $3.00

JEAN

Now you're talking...wrap it up.

HE DOES SO...PUTS IT
INTO A PAPER BAG...

CLERK

Now you're not only beautiful but you'll
smell delicious...

JEAN

What makes you say such things--what'll you
say next?

(COY)

CLERK

Four dollars please.

-14-

SHE PAYS HIM

CLERK:

So long gorgeous....

JEAN:

SHE STARTS WALKING OUT..
AND PASSES AN
EXTREMELY UGLY OLD
DAME.. DOES A TAKE
AT HER... THE
WOMAN PASSES HER...

Oh, cut that out...

(BOOMING) Hello beautiful!

JEAN LOOKS BACK..
CLOSEUP OF HER...

Gee, don't they make a romantic couple...
he and his cash register.

TRANSITION MUSIC

GO TO BLACK......

-15-

SHE GETS INTO
WORK COAT AND
FIXES BUCKET WITH
HOT WATER

JEAN:

Well, now to economize a little more......

I have to laugh when I think how my
husband proposed; he said "Jeannie, let
me take you away from all this". And you
know what he took me away from..a comfortable
home where my mother did all the work.

But don't think he doesn't appreciate me.
Once he came home and said, "Jean, I know
you knock yourself out for me all year..
cooking my supper...washing my clothes..
ironing my shirts..so here's a little
present!" Some present..a slave bracelet.

SHE GETS DOWN ON
HANDS AND KNEES AND
STARTS SCRUBBING...

(SOUND: DOOR BELL RINGS)

SHOUTS OVER HER
SHOULDER

THE NEIGHBOR COMES
IN..A CUP IN HAND..

JEAN:

Come in..the door's open...

WOMAN:

Jean, what on earth are you doing?

JEAN:

Just lazying around. (WIPES HER BROW)

WOMAN:

Oh, Jean, scrubbing floors on your hands and
knees...I know how exhausting that is..at
the end of the day my maid can hardly move!

-16-

JEAN: (PEEVISH)

Mrs. Stanley, can I help you?

WOMAN:

Oh, no thanks..my floors were just done
yesterday. I just came in to borrow a
cup of flour.

JEAN:

THE WOMAN GOES INTO
THE KITCHEN AND WE
STAY WITH JEAN...

Help yourself..you know where it is....
That's Mrs. Stanley, she's my neighbor
across the hall. She has nothing to do
all day but go around sabotaging marriages.
Mrs. Stanley goes around getting the wives
all steamed up till they hate their husbands
...we call her the Stanley Steamer.
Her greatest accomplishment was last year
when she broke up a couple who had been
married thirty-five years. Then she told
the poor wife, "Honey, you should be
glad you found out in time.

THE WOMAN COMES
BACK INTO THE ROOM..

WOMAN:

You know, Jean I admire your husband. He
has a real modern viewpoint towards women.
He doesn't spoil his wife by pampering her
until she leads a useless life. I admire
a man who encourages a wife to pitch in
and help.

-17-

(MORE)

ON SCREEN WE SEE AN
INSET OF ALAN WEARING
DEVIL'S HORNS AND
BRANDISHING A
BULLWHIP.....
JEAN GRIMACES WITH
PRESENTMENT AT THE
IMAGE...

INSET ON THE SCREEN
SHOWS ALAN SLUMPED
OPEN MOUTHED AND
SNORING IN AN EASY
CHAIR. HE'S THE
PICTURE OF DOMESTIC
BOREDOM...

**WOMAN:** (CONT)

And he's probably a man who loves his wife
so much he doesn't care if her hands get
calloused and ugly. He must inspire you to
make you work this hard.

**JEAN:**

Oh yes! A real inspiration....

**WOMAN:**

Another thing I admire about your husband
is that he's a solid home-loving type. Not
like that gad-about Mr. Johnson. I don't know
how that poor woman stands it. Every night
he makes her dress up in an evening gown
and _drags_ off to some nightclub or theater
or a fancy restaurant. The poor dear has
to go out almost every night and forces her
to dance so much she can hardly get up
the next afternoon. But you're so lucky.
Your husband comes home every night and
he's yours to listen to and enjoy.

**JEAN:**

Yes, some nights I think I'll go out of
my mind with enjoyment...

-18-

**WOMAN:**

And another thing. Your husband is so mature. He gets plenty of rest and good food. Not like some of those adolescent husbands who are always exercising and dieting just to hold on to their youthful figures. Like that tall, broad shouldered man downstairs.. who's always doing calistenics. Oh, I'll admit he's forty but doesn't look a day over twenty but so what?...But your husband is different. He has no vanity and he's a bigger man for it...

Well, thanks for the flour, dear.

Good bye. (SHE EXITS)

**JEAN'S VOICE:**

I can take Robin and go back home to my Mother. Then I'll get a job and then I'll see a lawyer. They'll be a big fuss about the alimony...But I don't care... I'll give him as much as he wants...

**JEAN:**

What am I talking about? That's no way for me to be thinking. Who wants to go through a long and messy court trial and give the neighbors something to gossip about.

INSET SHOWS ALAN IN AN OLD FASHIONED BATHING SUIT STANDING PROFILE TO THE CAMERA. ACCENT ON THE FULL STOMACH...

JEAN REMAINS FROZEN IN LAST POSITION WITH A LOOK OF GREAT CONCENTRATION.. WE HEAR HER RECORDED VOICE SAY...

JEAN SHAKES HER HEAD COMING OUT OF THE REVERIE...

(MORE)

-19-

### JEAN: (CONT)

There must be a simple pleasant way to settle this... There is. I'll tell the police it was an accident... the gun went off.
SIX TIMES.

He keeps saying, "We're saving for our old age, we're saving for our old age."...the way he's got me working I'll get there twenty years before he will.

Maybe he's saving just to be considerate. That's it, he's being considerate. He's saving money so some day his wife can take it easy... his second wife.

Ah, I'm being silly... thinking of leaving him... thinking of shooting him. It's ridiculous. I'll do what any normal woman would do under the circumstances... I'll cry!

(SOUND: PHONE RINGS)

### JEAN:

ANSWERING IT...

Hello.

### ALAN:

WE SEE ALAN IN A PHONE BOOTH ON A SPLIT SCREEN... HIS OLD SCHOOL CHUM IS STANDING OUTSIDE...

Hello, honey, this is your ever-loving husband. How's my adorable wife?

### JEAN:

You must have the wrong number.

-20-

**ALAN:**

I'm just fine, darling.

**JEAN:**

(SNIFFS INTO PHONE) Herbie, have you been drinking?

**ALAN:**

Of course, I love you, dear.

HE CHUCKLES TO HIS FRIEND

**JEAN:**

Herbie, what do you want? You're interrupting my drudgery.

THROUGH THIS SCENE ALAN IS OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO IMPRESS HIS LISTENING FRIEND.

**ALAN:**

I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean to interrupt your Canasta game.

(ASIDE TO FRIEND) She has so much leisure time. Jeannie, who do you think I ran into today?

JEAN LOOKS AT PHONE IN DISBELIEF...

**JEAN:**

Winston Churchill.

**ALAN:**

No, Walter Phillips from my old alma mater.

I told you about him...when I was voted "Most Likely to Succeed" he came in second.

HE POKES FRIEND

**JEAN:**

If he came in second to you then..he must be on relief now.

-21-

**ALAN:**

Well, Jean, I've got a wonderful surprise for you. Walter and his Missus are coming home with me for dinner. I've been telling them what a great cook you are.

**JEAN:**

Herbie, if you bring them home to dinner, I swear I'll poison the three of you.

**ALAN:**

(JOVIAL) That's very sweet of you dear.. We'll make it some other time. Bye... (HE MAKES KISSING NOISES INTO PHONE)

**JEAN:**

(GROWLS FIERCELY)

THEY BOTH HANG UP.

**ALAN:** (TO FRIEND)

Gee, Walter, it completely slipped my mind. We have tickets to the theater tonight. But she insists on making it some other night. Come on, the least I can do is buy you a few drinks.

**JEAN:**

Well, that's the last straw. He talks about economy and then he wants to drag in two hungry strangers. I'll give him a lesson in economy he'll never forget.

CUT BACK TO JEAN IN THE APARTMENT...

--22--

MUSIC... DISSOLVE...
ALAN IS JUST COMING
INTO THE HOUSE...

SHE COMES IN FROM
KITCHEN

**ALAN:**

Jeannie, I'm home...Boy, am I hungry!

What's for dinner?

THEY KISS

**JEAN:**

It's a surprise...(AFTER KISS) Hmmm, you've
had a few drinks.

**ALAN:**

Well, I gathered you didn't want me to
bring Walter home so we...

**JEAN:**

Who paid?

JEAN STANDS THERE WITH
ARMS CROSSED LOOKING
AT HIM..

**ALAN:**

Who paid? Are you kidding? After the whole
talk we had about saving money and you giving
up the cleaning woman and you doing all the
work by yourself and...I paid.

**JEAN:**

I thought so.

**ALAN:**

Don't make a fuss, Jean. Two drinks cost
a dollar sixty-five..with the tip a dollar
seventy.

-23-

**JEAN:**

What's what, dear?

**ALAN:**

A can of beans for dinner. Is that all you have?

**JEAN:**

Oh. No.. there's some bread left over from Monday, some potato salad and for dessert a half of grapefruit that's only been squeezed once. Aren't you proud of me, Herbie? The first day we're economizing and I made this whole meal for only forty-six cents.

**ALAN:**

But what kind of dinner is this?

**JEAN:**

(SHE STARTS TO SNIFFLE) You don't like my cooking.. and I tried so hard to save money just to please you. (CRIES WITH HEAD ON TABLE)

**ALAN:**

Aw, Jean, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Of course I like your cooking. It looks like a delicious meal. Look, I'm going to eat everything...

HE PICKS UP A SLICE OF BREAD AND WHEN HE BITES INTO IT THERE IS A HARD CRACKLING NOISE...

-25-

(MORE)

**ALAN:** (CONT)

HE TAKES A SPOONFUL
OF THE BEANS...

SHE DRIES HER EYES

Say, honey, these beans are....(GULPS AND
SWALLOWS) out of this world.

**JEAN:**

Oh, I'm so glad you like them.

**ALAN:**

EATING THE BEANS

Like them..I'm crazy about them....

hahahah....

**JEAN:**

SHE TAKES TURKEY ON
PLATTER OUT OF THE
OVEN...BRINGS IT
TO THE TABLE...

Ooh, the turkey must be done by now.

**ALAN:**

Turkey?????

STICKING A FORK
INTO IT

**JEAN:**

I wonder if it's done enough?

WITH CARVING KNIFE AND
FORK..DROOLING

**ALAN:**

It's done..It's done..put it down.

**JEAN:**

Are you sure it looks all right?

**ALAN:**

HE GOES FOR IT WITH
THE KNIFE AND FORK
JUST AS JEAN LIFTS
IT FROM TABLE....

I'm positive..looks great.

**JEAN:**

Good. Then I'll bring it in to Mrs. Goodman.

-26-

**ALAN:**

Mrs. Goodman?

**JEAN:**

Yes, I just let her use my oven..hers wasn't
big enough.

HE FOLLOWS THE TURKEY
WITH HIS EYES...

**ALAN:**

Oh, and I thought......

(EATS MORE BEANS)

JEAN STARTS TO LEAVE
WITH THE TURKEY...
DISSOLVE....

**JEAN:**

Poor Mrs. Goodman...she doesn't know the
first thing about economy....

**JEAN:**

Herbie, I've been thinking about this
business of saving money and I've come
to the conclusion that you're absolutely
right.

HE'S SITTING IN HIS
CHAIR AND JEAN COMES
OVER TO HIM...SHE
HAS A PAD AND PENCIL IN
HER HAND..THERE IS
A BOWL OF WAX FRUIT
(LOOKS LIKE REAL THING)
ON THE TABLE NEXT TO
HIM..HE IS LOOKING
AT IT HUNGRILY....

**ALAN:**

I'm glad I finally convinced you.

**JEAN:**

Why do you know how much money you spent
last year just taking me out?...four
dollars!

**ALAN:**

Sure, there are better ways of spending
that money.

-27-

AS HE REACHES INTO THE
FRUIT BOWL SHE GRABS
HIS ARM...

HE TAKES AN APPLE
FROM THE BOWL, POLISHES
IT ON HIS SLEEVE AND
JUST AS HE IS ABOUT
TO BITE INTO IT...

HE PUTS IT DOWN
DISAPPOINTED....

HE REACHES OVER AND
PICKS UP AN EMPTY
PACK OF CIGARETTES
AND LOOKS THROUGH
IT FOR ONE...

SHE GETS UP AND GOES
OVER TO THE COUCH..
SHE PICKS UP A
MAGAZINE AND STARTS
TO READ...

**JEAN:**

And how. Four dollars can buy almost 15 cans of beans.

And another thing...we can save a lot of money if we sell your golf clubs, and you don't go bowling anymore or play poker with the fellows.

**ALAN:**

I have to give up golf and bowling. Those are the things that keep me in shape.

**JEAN:** (DOES TAKE)

Herbie, if we want to save money for our old age we have to give up these little luxuries. You always said "a penny saved is a penny earned."...You won't like that apple -- it's wax.

If we keep on saving money, believe me we'll be happier in the long run. It takes a little planning and a little will power but it's for the best...I smoked the last one this afternoon. That's another thing, no more smoking. Cigarettes cost us almost a dollar a week.

Now let's just relax and think of how happy we'll be in our old age.

-28-

HE LOOKS AT THE EMPTY PACK
AGAIN AND THEN CRUMPLES
IT...DRUMS WITH FINGERS
ON THE TABLE..PICKS UP ASH
TRAY AND LOOKS INTO IT..
IT'S EMPTY..THEN WITH A
LOOK OVER AT JEANNIE HE
FISHES AROUND IN THE
WASTE BASKET AND COMES
UP WITH A BUTT. HE PUTS
IT IN HIS MOUTH AND
GOES THROUGH THE
DIFFICULTIES OF TRYING
TO LIGHT IT WITHOUT
SINGING HIS NOSE..
ETC...FINALLY...
GOES OVER TO JEAN....

**JEAN:**

What's the matter, dear? Restless?

**ALAN:**

If you must know I'm hungry and I'd like
a cigarette and....

**JEAN:**

But, honey, if we're going to...

**ALAN:**

Look, Jean, I'm sick and tired of this
economizing business. You only live once.
What's the point of denying ourselves the
least little pleasure. It isn't as though
we're extravagant.

**JEAN:**

It's all right with me, dear.

**ALAN:**

Well let's go out and get something to
eat before I faint.

-29-

**JEAN:**

No more talk about economy?

**ALAN:**

(HOLDS UP RIGHT HAND) I promise.

**JEAN:** (LAUGHING)

OK, Herbie, I'll run next door to Mrs.

Goodman and get back our turkey.

SHE STARTS FOR DOOR.

**ALAN:**

Our turkey?...turkey...oh, boy!

DISSOLVE...

SCENE LIGHTS AGAIN
ON SHOT OF THE SKELETON
OF TURKEY ON TABLE..
ALAN LEANS BACK IN
CHAIR PUFFING HAPPILY
ON A CIGARETTE....

**JEAN:**

Feel better?

**ALAN:**

Sure do.

**JEAN:**

Well, I'm glad we don't have to economize
any more. I'll call the cleaning woman
and tell her to come in next week.

**ALAN:**

Cleaning woman..I thought we already
decided we were going to save that six
dollars.

--30--

JEAN:

But Herbie...

ALAN:

Six dollars a week...fifty-two weeks....

JEAN:

Oh, here we go again...

ALAN:

...that comes to three hundred and twelve
dollars a year....

(MUSIC: .. PLAYOFF. . .)

(CLOSING MONOLOGUE)

THROWS UP HANDS IN
DESPAIR...

hz/ar/1j

11/10/53

9:45 pm

-31-