Jan. 18, 1938

Mr. Joseph M. Hopkins
New Roads, La.

Dear Hopkins:

Here is the promised letter about your stories. I should have
written you a few days ago except for the fact that we wanted to have
some more talk about "Without Gunfire." Certainly, that pleases us more
than any other story you have done. It has a lot of fine stuff in it,
and is probably very close to being right. But we have some suggestions
which we should like to submit, respectfully, to you.

First and most important, it seems to us that the story as it
affects the main character is somewhat too static. In a final analysis
the boy's reaction to the father is the same at the end as at the
beginning. The story simply gives a fully rounded illustration. Would
it be possible to make the boy confused in his feelings--perhaps to
present a conflict of his feelings--about the father and to have the
story resolve this conflict? That, it seems to us, would give the
story a better structure.

Second, could not the first two pages be somewhat compressed?

Third, it seems that a little more rigorous handling of the point
of view might give the story sharper effect. For instance, on page 9:
"It was raining a little. Burke was walking barefooted in the gravel
a little piece away. He was going to get his skinning knife at the
shack where he stayed with his two nigger friends. His friends were
looking out the doorway to see him get killed." This approach throws
the scene away from the boy's perception and presents it in too general
a manner. Why not cast it something like this: "Through the drizzle
Joe saw Burke walking barefooted in the gravel a little piece away.
He was going to get his skinning knife. That was what he was going to
do. He was going to get his skinning knife at the shack..." Again,
and more importantly perhaps, the story veers from the boy's point of

BOX 155

New Roads, La.

Aug.25,1938

Dear Mr. Warren ;

In regard to "Without Gunfire,"
manuscript of which is in your office: I
would like to submit the following changes
in sentences.

PAGE 13

1st line — Insert 'the' between words " silence rain."

5th line — Change 'very steady at' to 'right on'.

16th line — Strike out the word 'funny'.

26th line — Change sentence 'A wind,cold,blew in through the open door' to 'The cold wind blew in the door'.

PAGE 14

4th line — Insert 'then' between words 'and growled'.

21st line — Change sentence 'Where the hairy calf bulged there a small hole oozed red' to 'Where the hairy calf bulged, red oozed'.

24 line — Change 'blew' to 'bled'.

25th line — Insert 'kind of' between words 'got funny'

26th line — Strike out the word 'was', and insert word 'got' between words 'suddenly faint-feeling'.

27th line — Change 'gave a quick jump' to 'jumped'.

30th line — Strike out the word 'down'.

KLM

PAGE 15

3rd line — Change sentence to read 'Then, he saw Burke limping in the road, moving by the store front, them watching him.'

4th line — Change sentence to read 'The niggers watched, their black faces turning a little'.

11th line — Change 'slowly' to 'hesitantly'.

12th line — Change part of sentence, 'Suddenly he saw him limp by,...' to 'Burke suddenly limped into view,...'

14th line — Change 'The leg' to 'his leg'.

15th line — Change part of sentence 'A shock went quick through Joe and he held...' to 'Joe felt a shock and he held...'

19th line — Change sentence to 'He watched silent as the limping man passed out of sight where the road made a bend behind tall roadside bushes'.

21st line — Change sentence to read 'There, showing part of its shingled roof above the mass of bushes, was the small whitewashed office of the doctor'.

24th line — Change sentences to read 'He shook his head, turned away, and looked about the room'.

PAGE 16

11th line — Place comma after word 'room', change word 'as' to 'while(.

HAZEL LANGLOIS, SEC.
NEW ROADS, LA.

H. T. OLINDE, PRES.
NEW ROADS, LA.

J. W. PLAUCHE, JR., TREAS.
MORGANZA, LA.

POLICE JURY
PARISH OF POINTE COUPEE
NEW ROADS, LA.

MEMBERS:
D. DAVIS
J. M. BERGERON

P. A. LANDRY
OVIDE LACOUR
DR. J. W. PLAUCHE

MEMBERS:
HARRY MELANCON
S. ISAAC
EMILE JEWELL
HENRY A. ROGON
ISADORE GUERIN

Page 11, line 4 ____ Insert comma after word 'loud' and strike out the word 'and' which follows.

Page 14, line 29 ____ Change words 'was standing' to the word 'stood' and remove comma from behind the word 'doorway'.

line 30 ____ Change sentence to read: 'He brushed past'.

Page 15, line 3 ____ Substitute the word 'it' for the words 'its coldness' and follow with a new sentence 'It was cold'.

line 9 ____ Substitute 'to' for the word 'against', strike out word 'as', change verb 'passed' to 'pass'.

line 10 (cont'd) ____ Change sentence to read 'He was in front their house passing'. (This change I especially recommend).

line 14 ____ Simply strike out last part of sentence: 'and the gunhole oozed'.

line 18 ____ Change 'whispered' to the word 'whispering,'

line 19 ____ In sentence 'She asked him how did it happen', leave out the word 'him'

line 29 and 30 ____ Make sentence read: 'Joe stopped a moment, went on excitedly: '

Page 16, line 7 ____ Change 'her face' to 'her worried face'.

line 18 ____ Change to 'Joe thought, I'm by myself'.

line 22 ____ Change 'the pistol' to 'it'.

line 28 ____ Change 'a hard laugh' to 'a laugh, hard'.

Page 17, line 3 ____ Make separate paragraph out of the words, 'It was all quiet outside the door. He heard: '

line 7 ____ Set off 'again' with commas.

I hope that you do not think this too silly of me. I understand that there are no excuses after ____ a story is published, and I don't want to make any if I can help it. Sorry however to have to be sending you revisions. I wonder if you got the other set of revisions I sent some months back.

As ever, gratefully,

"like niggers sat"

with the word "negro". But you make Joe think of them as "niggers" on
middle page 3, and a little further down he wonders why the *JACK* "negroes"
did not laugh, page 4 he thinks that "both of the negroes were scared..."
top page 5 he thinks that Burke is making it for that shack where he lived
with his two "negro" friends. I don't understand this.

Don't you think Joe is too young to think of "negroes"? And
isn't the whole thing from his point of view? Then it takes place in the
South, and down here a "nigger" is as good as a "negro" anyday. I myself
don't see anything cheap about the word or the color it happens to stand
for. The only thing I have against a nigger is his smell. It's just a word
that's better than another word, to me. Since the story is told in a simple,
colloquial language peculiar to that section of country, it seems to me
that the word "negro" slaps the reader in the face. I don't know if it is
practicle to use the word "art" on men of your caliber, but, damn it all,
"negro" isn't artistic! It contrasts with every element of this story, and
I see it, as a concession. I'd be mighty appreciative if you can do
something about this.

#

I'm working on a story now that has me doing more thinking than all
the other things I've attempted. It deals with how a Louisiana district
court regards a negro marriage, but that action is simply the dramatic
framework and I've got to superimpose a background of facts upon it. The
negress makes an attempt to break down the negros' unwritten law of sexual
license. I'm trying to handle it from two points of view, told factually
and analytically by the author, and seen humanly by a young man spectator.
I'm trying to see which point of view will triumph and it's absolutely
beautiful the way I slave away like a bastard. The damned thing starts
off:

"The Court listened: that is, the spectacled district judge
conducting the informal hearing became an attitude of motionless erection,
the fingers of one hand pressed judicially to his lips."

To give you an idea of what in hell I have to handle, here's one expression: "His facial expression, when closely studied, further postulated the assumption of his duality."

I feel that there is a chance that I can handle it, and will
let you see it when I've done it successfully.

Thanks again for the chance at proof-reading.

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