A JOURNAL DURING A LADY'S COURTSHIP,

By Mrs. Schieffelin

Matilda - Miss Hannah Lawrence, the present Mrs. Schieffelin,
(The young writer)

Altimont - Jacob Schieffelin, (Lieut. in the Army, the important young man)

Orlando - Lieutenant in the Army,

Lavinia - Miss Buela Murrey, (Hannah's very dear friend)

Americus - Mr. Richard Lawrence

July 26th, 1780.

Altimont has for sometime past talked in the language of Orlando, shall I add in that of insincerity, his soul appears open, and guiltless as the early moon of youthful virtue. His offers seem fair and honourable: Without disguise or evil design. To make me acquainted with his circumstances he put in my hands a bundle of papers consisting of letters from his partner and other Bills of Exchange &c.

This action pleased me as it convinced me of his sincerity.

July 27th

The last evening gave me the company of the gentle Altimont -- how ardent were his professions, how amiable does he appear. Can such simplicity of manners conceal a treacherous soul. Can such warmth and apparent openness of expression cover a heart acquainted with guile. But Ah! the World is full of dissimulation, and shall she from whom her friends expect unvarying prudence, fix her affections on a young stranger, and throwing herself foolishly in his power, abandon every other Dear Connection, and live perhaps to languish out her repenting days, the victim of his unkindness and neglect? Oh! for the cold caution of unimpassioned age to direct my footsteps -- to preserve me from everlasting regret, to secure my heart from the Dissembler, and my soul from unceasing woe.

This morning has the renewal of solicitation, perhaps I may yield -- yet what may be my fate, time alone can determine the propriety of such a measure. To time I therefore leave it. But should my heart plead in his favour -- Where will be reason, where discretion?

July 29th

A short time is fixed for the departure of Altimont. Should Matilda yield to accompany him, would not Lavinia blush for her friend, and withdraw the esteem with which she has hitherto regarded her. Yet he is amiable, and how speedily do we ever fix our sympathy or dislike.

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gentleman he went to meet, and who was acquainted with a family of
Altimont's name in Philadelphia, but he had never been there or had left
the place so young that no trace was found to gratify inquiries. But his
worth speaks for itself and I am happy my parents will be acquainted with
it by his residing in the House. I esteem myself exceedingly happy my dear
Lavinia in meeting with a man so every way calculated to dispense my
felicity. The restless temper which is natural to me and which would ever
make me miserable in marrying when I must settle immediately into domestic
tranquility will now be gratified by travel.

Altimont will attend me from Detroit to England or here as I shall
hereafter choose. We have no intention of remaining at the former place and
your Matilda, after this opportunity of improving her mind will return not less
worthy of the arms of friendship. It has ever been my first resolution not to
connect myself in union with a man who could not bestow these advantages.

I regard the heart of Altimont as the best gift of heaven, and as
such, may I ever strive to promote its happiness, and I am well convinced it
will not prove unworthy.

## August 11th

The time, the important day is at hand, tomorrow is appointed to
fix my destiny. Banish me not dear Lavinia from thy affection. For Ah! if
it gives me to misery, I shall have the more need of thy consoling friendship.
I have always been above disguise and to maintain that character I informed
my parents in the evening of the tenth, that Altimont was necessary to make
me happy, and begged it might not be disagreeable to them. My Father with
his usual indulgence told me I was the best judge of what would make me
happy. He expressed some regret at his being of a different society, but
said he could not impose any constraint on me. I returned to Altimont who
was waiting the result of this conference, and who would willingly have
opened the matter himself had I not chose that office.

We fixed a day for the ceremony to be performed. I was again
summoned to my Father, who after considering the matter began to be alarmed
at the risk I must run in marrying so great a stranger, and at the idea of
my leaving him, begged I would give up all thought of Altimont, to content
myself with some person better known to us, and to settle near him. He
mentioned something of informing the Meeting if I persisted, which obliged
me to a seeming acquiescence with his desires.

In the morning of the 11th he appeared still more uneasy and talked
in a strain which affected me greatly. He said he had expected to have found
satisfaction in me, in his old age, but if I parted for Detroit he should
expect never to see me again -- that he had mourned for my infant sister a
short time, but his mourning for me would last with his life. Presently after
Altimont gave me a paper which he said was a song he had been copying for me.
I opened it and found it to be a letter wherein he informed me that he had
spoken to Mr. Field at whose house the ceremony was to be performed, and
desired I would try a ring enclosed to know if it fitted. I sought him out

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trembling with apprehension and entreated him to postpone the marriage a
week longer, but in vain. He offered such reasons as I could not resist.
Ah, how difficult to resist those we truly love.

My brothers are extremely averse to this union, but they cannot
feel for Matilda. The Elder waited on American and acquainted him with the
surprising affair. He came to tea in the afternoon, and I was under the
disagreeable necessity of dissembling with him from whom before I never dis-
guised a thought. The storm blew over, the hearts of my brothers sunk into
a transient quietude! Oh! how soon to be aroused by the alarming truth.

August 13th

I repaired in the evening to Mr. Fields, having first appointed
Altimont to meet me there. He did so, and I again pleaded for some delay.
Mr. and Mrs. Field both joined with Altimont in opposing me, and the grief
and despair of the latter was so great that I was obliged to comply. He
promised not to leave the place at all, but to quit the Army immediately
and to write to his partner to settle his accounts at Detroit. This I
would not agree to as it must certainly hurt his interests there, and since
I esteem him worthy to be the lord of my fate I will attend him to the
farthest end of the earth if he desires it.

Adieu, my dearest, dear friend to-morrow at seven I shall enter
the sacred bonds which will determine my happiness or misery. The Father
of Beneficence who looks with indulgence on this action, Preserve me from
adversity or dispense fortitude sufficient to bear it.

Matilda.

Married August 14, 1786

Edward Lawrence Schieffelin born - September 3, 1781 Detroit
Henry Hamilton Schieffelin born - June 20, 1783 Detroit
Effingham Schieffelin born - November 3, 1785 New York City
Anne Maria Schieffelin born - April 11, 1786 Montreal

John Lawrence died July 26, 1794

Ann B. Lawrence died February 14, 1821

Hannah Lawrence Schieffelin - born July 6, 1758
died October 3, 1838 - Age 80

Jacob Schieffelin - - - born August 24, 1757
died April 16, 1835 - Age 78