THE OLD BACHELOR'S THERMOMETER.

At 16—**INCIPIENT** palpitations towards the young ladies.

17—Blushing and confusion in conversing with them.

18—Confidence in conversing with them much increased.

19—Angry if treated by them as a boy.

20—Very conscious of his own charms and manliness.

21—A looking-glass indispensable in his room to admire himself.

22—Insufferable puppyism.

23—Thinks no woman good enough for him.

24—Caught unawares by the snares of Cupid.

25—The connection broken off, from self-conceit on his part.

26—Conducts himself with much superiority towards her.

27—Pays his addresses to another lady, not without hope of mortifying the first

28—Mortified and frantic at being refused.

29—Rails against the fair sex.

30—Morose and out of humour in all conversations on matrimony.

31—Contemplates matrimony more under the influence of interest.

32—Considers personal beauty in a wife not so indispensable.

33—Still retains a high opinion of his attractions as a suitor.

34—Has a strong idea he may still marry a chicken.

35—Falls deeply and violently in love with one of seventeen.

36—Au dernier désespoir another refusal.

37—Indulges in every kind of dissipation.

38—Shuns the best part of the female sex.

At 39—Suffers much remorse and mortification in so doing.

40—A fresh budding of matrimonial ideas, but no spring shoots.

41—A nice young widow perplexes him.

42—Ventures to address her with mixed sensations of love and interest.

43—Interest prevails, and causes much cautious reflection.

44—The widow jilts him, being as cautious as himself.

45—Becomes every day more averse to the fair sex.

46—Gouty and nervous symptoms begin to appear.

47—Fears what may become of him when old and infirm.

48—Thinks living alone quite irksome.

49—Resolves to have a prudent young woman as housekeeper and companion.

50—Nervous affection and frequent attacks of the gout.

51—Much pleased with his new housekeeper as nurse.

52—Begins to feel some attachment to her.

53—His pride revolts at the idea of marrying her.

54—In great distress how to act.

55—Completely under her influence, and very miserable.

56—Many painful thoughts about parting with her.

57—She refuses to live any longer with him solo.

58—Gouty, nervous, and bilious to excess.

59—Feels very ill, sends for her to his bedside, and intends espousing her.

60—Grows rapidly worse, has his will made in her favour, and makes his exit.

PUBLISHED BY S. AND J. FULLER, 34, RATHBONE-PLACE.

Printed by L. Harrison, 373, Strand.

THE OLD MAID'S THERMOMETER.

At 15—Anxious for coming out and the attention of the men.

16—Begins to have some idea of the tender passion.

17—Talks of love in a village and disinterested affection.

18—Fancies herself in love with some handsome man who has flattered her.

19—Is a little more difficult, in consequence of being more noticed.

20—Commences fashionable, and dashes.

21—Still more confidence in her attractions, and expects a brilliant establishment.

22—Refuses a good offer, because he is not a man of fashion.

23—Flirts with every man she meets with.

24—Wonders she is not married.

25—Rather more circumspect in her conduct.

26—Begins to think a large fortune not quite so indispensable.

27—Prefers the conversation of rational men to flirting.

28—Wishes to be married in a quiet way, with a comfortable income.

29—Almost despairs of entering the marriage state.

30—Rather afraid of being called an old maid.

31—An additional love of dress.

32—Professes to dislike balls, finding it difficult to get a partner.

At 33—Wonders how the men can leave the society of sensible women to flirt with *chits*.

34—Affects good-humour in her conversation with men.

35—Jealous of the praises of other women.

36—Quarrels with her friend who is lately married.

37—Thinks herself slighted in society.

38—Likes talking of her acquaintance who are unhappily married; finds consolation from their misfortunes.

39—Ill-nature increases.

40—Very meddling and very officious.

41—If rich, as a *dernier ressort* makes love to some young man who is without fortune.

42—Not succeeding, rails against the male sex.

43—Partiality for cards increases, and scandal commences.

44—Severe against the manners of the age.

45—Strong predilection for a Methodist parson.

46—Enraged at his desertion.

47—Becomes desponding, and takes snuff.

48—Turns all her sensibility towards cats and dogs.

49—Adopts a dependent relation to attend upon her.

50—Becomes disgusted with the world, and vents all her ill-humour on this unfortunate relation.