A Few Words on Etiquette

"It is a matter of some slight surprise to me that in these days,
full of improvement as they have been and certainly are, the science of
etiquette should be so little cultivated by the mass of the people. I
have, therefore, in an ideal moment, ventured to lay down the following
suggestions for a proper bearing in society, which may be found useful to
the uninitiated.

*The quality a young man should most affect in intercourse with
Society 1)

* With this paragraph begins the redactions from The Laws of
Etiquette, 1838
1) Gentlemen

(2)

2)

is a decent modesty, but he must avoid all bashfulness or timidity.

His flights must not go too far; but, so far as they go, let them be
marked by perfect assurance and coolness. 3) 4) Familiarity of manner is
the greatest vice of society, and when our acquaintance finds himself
entitled to say, 'follow me, my dear fellow,' or any such phrase, cut
him directly."

5)

Allow

2) "at the same time" inserted

3) perfect assurance in italics

4) last two words added

5) From here on the snuff anecdote is reworked

(3)

6)

Never use the term genteel; it is only to be found in the mouths of those who have it nowhere else. Never enter your own house without bowing to any one you may meet there, and on no account before strangers, grumble or find fault. A visit must always be returned; an insult should never be overlooked.

The style of your conversation should always be in keeping with the
character of the visit.

6) Rephrased from "You should never make use in conversation of the words genteel, or gentility.". The word _genteel_ , accented on the first syllable, is the shibboleth of vulgarity."

7) your

(5)

Punning is now decidedly out of date. It is a silly and displeasing thing 12) when it becomes a habit. Some one has very appropriately styled it the wit of fools. Above all never take your hat into a drawing-room.

Your first duty at the table is to attend to the wants of the lady who sits next to you, the second to attend to your own. In performing the first, you should take care that the lady has all that she wishes, yet without appearing to direct your attention too much to her plate, for nothing is more ill-bred than to watch a person eating. If the lady be something of a _gourmonde_, and in over-zealous pursuit of the aroma of the wing of a pigeon should raise an unmanageable portion to her mouth, you should cease all conversation with her and look steadfastly into the opposite part of the room. 12 "called it"

(6)

13)

14)

15)

If you have taken wine with every one at the table, you must not attempt to libate aught but water again till the cloth is removed. The decanter is then sent round from the head of the table, when each person may fill his own glass. At dinner never ask for ale or porter; it is a coarse mixture, and injures the taste of wine.

17)

18)

19)

20)

16)

17)

13) drunk

14) "and wish more wine" deleted.

15) "you must wait till the cloth is removed"

16) "when is omitted"

17) "each person fills his glass"

18) call

19) "it is coarse"

20) "for"

(7)

If you should happen to be blessed with those lovely nuisances,
children, and should be entertaining company, never allow them to be
brought in after dinner unless they are particularly asked for. Never
21) __________
22) __________
talk politics at a dinner-table nor, in a drawing-room.

If you remove your hat, you need not at the same time bend the
dorsal vertebrae of your body, unless you wish to be very reverential, as
23) __________
in saluting a person of distinction. If you have remarkably fine teeth,
you may smile affectionately upon the bowee without speaking.

21) "mention"

22) or

23) a bishop

(9)

If you have bad squinting eyes, which have lost their lashes and are bordered with red, you should wear spectacles; if the defect be great, your glasses should be colored. In such cases, emulate the sky rather than the sea. Green spectacles are an abomination, fitted only for students in divinity; blue ones are respectable and even *distingue*. Almost every defect of the face may be concealed by a judicious use and arrangement of hair. Take care, however, that your hair be not of one color and your whiskers of another: and let your wig, if you wear one, be large enough to cover the whole of your real hair.

33) "the" omitted

34) Last phrase omitted

35) "red or white"

(10)

On Sunday, never wear white trousers, light vest, white stockings or light colored gloves, and studiously avoid on that day anything like display.

In the ball-room, lead your partner through the dance very gently, only touching her fingers, not grasping her hand. Dance quietly but gracefully, moving only your legs and feet, not your body to and fro like a pendulum. If you have no ear for music, or a false ear, never dance at all.

36) There is nothing in *The Laws* which quite matches this. The nearest to it is: "You should never walk in fashionable places on Sunday afternoon. It is notoriously vulgar.

37) Perhaps the following passage gave rise to the above: "The person should not, in dancing, be moved from side to side; the motion ought to be made from the hips downward. Perhaps, however, this is being a little hyp-ercritical."

(11)

Fashion is so completely distinguished from good-breeding that it
is often opposed to it. It is in fact, a system of refined vulgarity. What,
for example, can be more vulgar than incessantly *talking* about forms and
customs? — about silver forks and French soups? A gentleman follows these
conventional habits, but he follows them as matters of course. If he sees
a person who eats with his knife, he concludes that that person is ig-
norant of the usages of the world, but he does not shriek and faint away

38) presumes. Under "Americanism" certain vulgarities are mentioned, e.g. "conclude" instead of "decide" or "resolve".

39) Bond-Street instead of perfumed

(12)

If he dines at a table where there are no silver forks, he eats his dinner in perfect propriety with steel, and exhibits neither by manner nor by speech that he perceives any error. To be sure he forms his own opinion about the condition of the entertainer, but he never presumes to harangue about such delinquencies.

40) rank

41) "leaves it to such new-made gentry as Mr. Theodore Hook, in his vulgar fashionable novels, to harangue..."