THE CHEWING-GUM MAN

O Willie and Wallie and Huldy Ann,
They went and built a big Chewing Gum Man !
It was none o' yer teenty little dots
With pin-hole eyes and pencil spots,
But this wos a terribul big one, - well,
Twas almost as high as the Palace Hotel ! !
IT TOOK 'EM A YEAR TO CHEW THE GUM ! !
And Willie he done it all, 'cept some
That Huldy got her Ma to chew
By the time the head was ready to do.

Well, Willie he chews it nights and days,
They brung it to him in gret big drays
An' fast as he got it good n' soft
Then Wallie he come an' carried it oft
Then he'd roll it into a gret big ball,
AND HE MADE A THOUSAND OR MORE, IN ALL !
Then Huldy Ann she spanked 'em flat,
And pinched and poked, and the like o' that
Till she got it inter a gret big hunk --
My ! didn't Huldy have the spunk !
And when she sliced one end half way
To make the legs, (cause they neven stay
When you stick 'em on in a seprit piece,
Seems like the ends was made o' grease)
Then she sliced an arm right off'n each side
I couldn't a done it if I tried !
O' course her brothers they helped her though,
And rolled the laigs an' arms out, so
They all wos smooth with roundin' bends
An' CHOPPED the fingers inter the ends !
An' when their Mother had chewn the head
She went n' STUCK it on, instead !

And then when the man was almost done
They had an awful lot o' fun
A-walkin down his stummick was best,
To make the buttons onter his vest !
They stuck big cart wheels in him, for eyes,
His ears was both tremenjus size,
His nose was abarrell, an' then beneath,
They used a ladder, to make his teeth !

An' when he wos layin' acrost ther street,
Meongseneetheraddy as white's a sheet
He wos skeert half outer his wits I guess,
And he didn't know whatter make o' ther mess!
But Huldy, she up and begun to coax
To have him down town, to scare the folks !
So her dad hā grabbed him off'n the street,
An Willie n' Wallie they took the feet (fountain
An they dragged him clean down to the Cogswell
And stood him up as big as a mountain !
You'd orter seen him standin there
A-straddlin Market street in the air!

Well, he stood up straight for a week n'er half
And the folks, well, Did'n't they yell n' laff
The boys chum up his legs quite bold
The gum was so soft they got good hold
The cars ran under him day an night
An the people all came to see the sight
Well, after he'd stayed as stiff's! a post
With his head on top o' ther roofs almost,
The sun come outer the fog one day,
And well, I guess you know the way
That gret big feller begun to melt.
Imagine how Willie an' Wallie felt !
For first he cocked his head out some,
An when the heat got inter the gum,

along comes their daddы

["An when the sun got rained in the gum,\nFor that he cooked and baked out some,\nI was the last to get in the house,\nAnd I was the first to get out of it,\nAnd I was the last to get in the house,\