business world of the past, to understand completely- at least to grasp so that one can mentally work in the intended medium.

Gordon has told me some of your book beginnings- what he heard. I hope it goes forward as well as you say it has started- as necessarily- I am certain it will, however.

You have had so much bottled up for so long now that it should not take more than theXXXXXXXX putting down. Of course it takes the wording of you superfine mind too. But that isn't very hard for you. What it will reveal of what has been taken place in your spirit- well, of course it must- everything you do must necessarily. But Naturally one looks forward to hearing or seeing some of it - as well as to the book as a whole... More than one can say.

I will look each day for the Caravan notice and send it to you. And thank you again for the copy when it comes. I have never really heard that poem- just a few lines here and there.. It will be such a satisfaction to have it..

I am trying to push things here faster- as far as my own work and making of money is concerned- and see if we cannot arrange in some way to have Bob here. He is such a darling child- some good and so generous and so quick-witted and keen- it will be a delight to have him if we can manage something. All of Chauns and 'ulia's child are somewhat pathetic figures- they have so much character and fineness and they are really so thrown out on their own by their parents. That may

be why they are as they are. But they suffer emotionally so much at times from their parents-, because of their parents,- that I one especially feels that one must assist and help them and try to give them the affection and dependence that they crave from their parents but which dispositions and developments and circumstances seem to make impossible for the latter to show them. My lectures haven't materialized as they should. The woman from Boston, a member of one of the lecture bureaus there, one of the oldest in the country, and who was going to supply the 'talent', didn't get here in September as she promised, in fact still isn't here. It meant we would be too late in starting, especially in this year of the most able competition in the lecture line, all sides. Now I am trying to persuade her and Guy Hardy that if we can start immediately we can run a series of ten lectures commencing in January. We had started with a plan of twenty- a Chicago Town Hall plan. So- I am not making the money I had expected to- nor any at the moment. I am trying to arrange a building so that mother and Bob and I might have an apartment free, where Gordon could be at Christmas, etc, also. But that isn't settled yet either- it means renting one entire floor for shops, at good prices... Meantime we are getting along, but just. How to manage Bob is not yet apparent. But I think we can soon. Tockie dislikes him- no use his being with Chauns and Tockie if they are together and she seems to be each week more and more together again with Chauns; No use his being with Chauns any more because he really cannot take care of him and he is in consequence too much if a burden on Chauns if he is to do business and the situation is too hard in return on the child....

dependability

I am writing you about some money matters. I

see I have put it off until the end of the letter! I dislike to ask you to lend or give or send or anything-but here is a situation which has just come up:

I have been trying to have some dentistry done for the last three years. I had two teeth, one of them an eye tooth, pulled a year ago, and have tried to get some bridge work done even since. I finally got fifty dollars and paid it to a good dentist here who agreed to take this amount in advance and let me pay the rest when and how I could. Now he has almost finished the work and puts up this proposition, The bridge and the crowns etc. to open the bite some, will cost $200. That is a fair price. Other dentists have estimated it as more. And he is a good dentist. He says now that if I will pay him $50 more in cash immediately that he will call it square. That it wont give him much profit but that he wants to go away for some weeks on a vacation and could do with more money and since I am pressed for money, he would prefer making this arrangement and having the $50 in cash rather than $150 to be paid in small amounts.

So that if I can pay him this week the fifty dollars I can have the work for $100 instead of $200. That is a great deal of difference! I am therefore making a plea to you for it because it seems extremely good business, as an offer. Dont you think so? I dont know whom to ask but you, Bruce. I had the other fifty from Elaine. If I press her any more at present she is apt to refuse, or take it out of what she sends mother and which at present takes care of Gordon. You are getting all of the family finances (!) explained. (think of asking)

I had the temerity in my mind, finally, to suggest that you might even let me have perhaps a further loan of $75 instead of fifty! I have to get my winter things from the cleaners, and pay a telephone bill and a grocery bill. This extra twenty-five would set me up well to move along with. With teeth taken care of and winter clothes and a grocery bill and telephone bill taken care of, I would feel marvelous! But you have so much expense in connection with Chauns. It is shameful of me to put in any request, especially when I have not been able to return any to you from last year. I hope to do better this winter. But what are hopes and what are promises? Much better to say little and do more!

I dont know, Bruce. You know what is possible for you and what is not. I dont. I only know that you will do it if you can and that I am sorry to have to ask anyone, and especially yourself, for it. But this teeth business has been driving me frantic for a long time.. Please, however, if it is difficult, say so without any regret. Facts are simply facts. I am just doing what I can and you will do likewise, I know.

With love and in happy anticipation of The

Caravan,

11 East Goethe Street
Chicago Illinois.

Box 375 - Doylestown, Pa.

Nov 27 36

Dear Yvonne:

Your "problem" is not yours alone but everyones, and consists of
this: that you have not learned to be able to make significant
use of experience. In addition, you have the problems of the women
of today who are forced out into this modern world which is, un-
doubtedly, the most worldly world in all recorded history. Still
further and more personally, you have the problems which grew out
of (1) the absence of a man in your family as head of the family,
and (2) the loss, through death of your father and subsequent money
loss, of the conditions of life which you had been used to during
your formative period. Your difficulties arise out of your reactions -
or failures to act - with respect to all the above.

More personally still, you have never, with your whole being, without
reservation, gotten down to work. In you there are automatic devices
which prevent you from feeling desperate about it. Never once - or
perhaps once, but it was long ago and very painful - have you ever
utterly surrendered yourself to a work with the feeling - "It is
this, or nothing." Yes, you have been loyal and devoted, but never
a pilgrim - one who has surrendered all else for this.

Sacrifices - yes, you have made and are still making them. But
there are certain things in you that you won't sacrifice, that,
on the contrary, you cling to - and because of them, your own spirit
is oblique x in life, not square to it, not sheer, not utter, not
pure with the pure intensity of utter dedication.

You "slip through", you "glide through". But, in reality, you don't.
If you really did, you'd have no problems. Life would never pile
up on you. You'd never be caught in a tangled maze of the business
of living. You hope to glide through. And when someone or some-
thing calls you sharply to account, you see stars - but not the
heavenly ones.

Outwardly plastic and receptive, you are also inwardly plastic and
receptive - both genuinely so. But - between your outer and your
inner there is a stratum of such rigidity that dynamite would
hesitate to try to remove it. In this middle region you are stubborn,
willful, bossy, distempered, cantankerous, spiteful, petty, and
generally "impossible". And you condone this piece of your soul,
indeed you like it, even prize it, because it gives you the feel-
ing that others had better "look out", had better not press you
too far, etc etc.

PRESERVATION PHOTOCOPY: ORIGINAL MATERIAL RESTRICTED

JEAN TOOMER COLLECTION

Now this is what often happens in your relations with people. On first acquaintance with them, or mild acquaintance, you give them and they touch in you that which is plastic, receptive, agreeable, cooperative. All goes well. All will continue to go well, *if they don't cross you*. If crossed once or even twice, if crossed mildly, you "get over it". But if severely crossed, out comes this stubborn muleish cantankerous part of you - and it is not only that it is not a very lovely thing to see, it is that it is *so* contrary to *the rest of you* that the people are acutely thrown off, don't know what to do with it, and, in the majority of cases, they can't do anything - nothing, that is, except withdraw.

I doubt that you have ever earnestly, sincerely, *thoroughly* taken issue with *this part* of yourself. If you haven't, it is because (1) you plain don't want to, because you hope you'll slip through without doing so, because you want it there as a strength, even if a false strength, with which to make things happen as you want them to happen, to prevent things from happening as you don't want them to happen - what a slave you are to having things happen - in *your way*? *No* - *on the way* dictated by this mule in you - and because (2) it is not altogether in the nature of any woman to engage in such a struggle.

For a struggle of this kind requires conscious effort and the use of the head-brain as an instrument of struggle against the false properties that have formed in one. Women, by nature, are adapted to *being* and to *flowing* rather than to psychological effort. Organic labor they can and do bear and carry through, sparsely. But conscious labor indeed is sort of contrary to their grain; and though they may be ever so intelligent, and though they put their minds to good use to implement their bodies and their desires, they are not constructed - in any case they are not practiced - in the matter of using the mind as an organ of control and discipline and - to focus on the point at hand - in using the mind as the organ of self-change, meaning, in this case, the elimination of false properties which have been formed in them. For such work, women need to work in conjunction with men - I mean, of course, with men who are *men*.

But, if a woman has a man - yes she will take him seriously, but she is likely not to take his ideas seriously. She may be very interested in them, but she does not feel urgent about them, feel they are vitally necessary to her life, feel that she *must* do something about them. She wants the thing done, not through ideas, but *in* life, through life, in daily living - and this is a very sound desire; but, unfortunately, it overlooks the very simple but very basic fact that since it was the working out of wrong ideas that is responsible for out undoing, so we must initiate the working out of right ideas so as to correct the damage, restore ourselves, and grow and develop normally.

Now most women - those whom I have had experience with - are prone to overlook or not realize the above very simple but very basic fact. Few women in the groups took the *ideas* with sufficient

seriousness. Yes, few men also. You yourself did much for me but little with them - with the ideas, I mean. You did much for the groups but little with the method. You liked the life but did not work it. Not enough. And because you did not work enough you did not get enough, and because you did not get enough you do not know, from within yourself, what to try to do now. And you did not work enough and get enough because (1) you are a woman, (2) because you hopped to "glide through" it, (3) because some practices got your false back up, (4) because that "thing" in you was on guard and tended to counteract and to reject, and to prevent you from being inwardly receptive in full measure, (5) because there are in you automatic devices which prevent you from utter surrender and dedication.

You are not of this "wordly" world. You never have been, you never will be. Yet circumstances have forced you half-way out into it. The consequence - you are not wholly "out there", you are not wholly "in here". You ride the fence - and for all your pains all you get are splinters in a well known place.

So what must you do? You must learn to make developmental use of just this condition. If you do make this use, you'll get from the fence, and you'll find yourself either wholly "out there" or wholly "in here". Once you are wholly anywhere, once you are all of one piece and all for one thing, you'll enter a new octave of your existence.

Bruce-Jean

Chaunce, by the way, has a "problem" curiously similar to your in one respect. He too is straddling a fence. With you, life pushed you out. With him, life pushed him in. But neither is he entirely in or out. No longer is he a "business man". No, but neither has he yet become anything else. On the fence he too is, getting similar splinters in a similar place, hoping to "slide through", finding life and debts and whatnot piling up on him, spending himself in emotional tangles, thinking more of "his lot" than of what work he can do best, given his new inner values, views, and states.

Both of you should be devotees, should be pilgrims. Both of you are hamstrung by what will be known in history as "Dupee pride". You just won't strip yourselves bare and clean of all except that which is essential to your life and to your development. Confronted with tragedy, you and he cling to the very rope that is strangling you. You prefer the rope to anything that is "beneath you". This is somewhat true of you, more true of Chaunce. And why? Because he still pictures himself exclusively in terms of what he is doing, not in terms of what he is. The world has made a plebeian of him. He should have this inner aristocracy, which can do anything, well knowing that he is what he is, and that he will not and cannot become less, simply because, for the sake of expediency, he takes a "menial" job. And As it is, he is so unsure of himself, and so hamstrung by his "pride", that should he do something menial he would feel he was menial. And he is unsure of himself for the simple and

single reason that "Dupee pride" keeps him on the fence. Who, on
any fence, would not feel self-unsure?

And now Gordon has the same pride. Young as he is, he is so ruled
by it that rather than risk its loss by simply and sincerely being
himself, he "puts it on thick", swaggers about, out-talks every-
body, always has a "come-back", quips and assumes a superior critical
attitude, sees every situation as a competitive situation which
must result either in him downing someone or someone downing him -
and, in consequence, he irritates everyone, makes hostility where
he should and could, if he would permit himself to be himself, make
friends and fellow workers. What an awful thing it is, this forma-
tion which I call Dupee pride. That others also have it, that it
is compounded of more than false pride and owes its existence to
more than the feeling of pride of name and of family which is in-
grained in youngsters by their families - these facts and considera-
tions do not in the least mitigate the way in which it has and
still is warping your lives. No one is to blame for it. But,
since it is in you, you simply have got to work to overcome it.
Just this work, just this struggle is, to the best of my knowledge,
the condition of your further development - and though you may think
it is a "mere idea", and though Tockie may think that it is a "mere
idea", I can assure you from the depths of my essence that it is
truth, that if you and Chaunse and Gordon don't develop you'll
remain just as you are, regardless of change of outer circumstances,
that if you and Chaunse and Gordon do develop, thenx and then only
will your outer circumstances really change.

At the present, you are involuntary slaves to your own properties.
Then become voluntary slaves of the work that will free you from
them. Surrender all else for the sake of this slavery which leads
to inner freedom.

March 17 1937

Dear Bruce:

Thank you very much for the second pamphlet. I thought it was splendid- liked it better in many ways than the first. I like what you have done with the two ways of life- only I still believe that your lecture, because of its simple and direct language, the speaking language, should be used somewhere almost as you said it. In some magazine, some ordinary magazine. You cant see it, I presume.

I am not so keen about your new word-but that is decidedly minor. Some day we will have a talk and I will say many things-perhaps. As to what and how I think you should proceed! You will undoubtedly be amused.

But this publication is building ideas and a way,-quite persuasively and uncontroversially in this number particularly. I hear you may be commencing a class or a series of lectures, this month! Wish I could hear them.

Dont you want to send me ten or fifteen copies of the second number to sell? I am holding up the first number, telling people I would send them all together-the two first, at least. And they are getting impatient.

I am working hard on my singer job. Will be glad when it comes off really, entirely. Then I have another to get under way. The first I hope will pay me enough to be'comfortable' on for a while!

I am enclosing a copy of one of Bob's oral compositions. He recited it-talked it to a Miss Shaw who took it down verbatim. You can see he has taken hold of a few phrases and perhaps ideas. He is settling down a bit. It was hard sledding for him and for us at first. He was like a caged wild-cat! He is developing a lot of art talent, which is useful for the moment because he is not supposed to exercise much for a year, perhaps, to see if he cannot get over his hernia altogether. Of course he likes instinctive things so far best of all and was unhappy and irrepressible until he found he could paint and model with commendation from everyone. I dont know what Ghauns will say! Think he is effeminate to the nth degree, I fear. Wait until he sees some of his things, however.

I wonder off about your young 'Argy'. She is going to be a young lady soon, probably!

With love, and all kinds of good wishes for the important thing you are doing, and perpetual thanks,

11 East Goethe Street
Chicago, Illinois

( I am moving next week because this house is to be remodeled. The above address will be best until I know where I am to be.

Robert Dupee

Feb. 1937

I saw this date, Feb. 22nd, on a newspaper and recognized right away that it was Washington's birthday. This means that it is a holiday because Washington was our first president and a great president.

This 22nd being his birthday means that we all have a holiday- that is good for us.

It is said that Washington never told a lie. I cant see a man that never told a lie. Because I think it impossible - he can because a child who doesnt want to be punished will get out of it by telling a false story. It's true that I have done something bad sometimes and didnt want to be punished so I told a false story.

I used to believe that Washington never told a lie, but about a year ago I started believing that it could not be possible that a person never told a lie, because they are not plucky enough- nor brave enough to take the punishment or spanning.

The grownups punish to teach the child to be good and to be educated. I do not think they do it to keep the child from their play but to help him. Its hard for the child to understand sometimes. But sometimes the grownups punish the child the wrong way- because they are too much in a hurry to get finished with it and without thinking it over in their minds first.

I generally fought with my sister - that is I didnt think and didn't wait to know what would happen to me or to the one who I was angry with.

A kind of punishment of grownups is that thing of talking about anyone, especially children, that is if they are talking wrong talk and say "so and so did this and so and so did that" without thinking or understanding what the child was thinking or doing.

Children dont like to be talked about by grownups behind their backs. You feel they think you have done something wrong- and sometimes you have - but you wonder why they talk and talk and turn the talk when you come in.

What I believe is that mothers and fathers and parents talk like this about the children until it is a habit. The child thinks that that is the right kind of thing to do and they do it to their children when he is grown up and so it goes on and on for generation after generation.

The only thing to do to stop this going on is for each person to stop and think each time before he talks or acts.

MISS HELEN DUPEE

11 EAST GOETHE
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS

April 11, 1937

Dear Bruce:

Arent you the good employer as
well as the kind friend! Thank you very
much for your advance on my sales. It was
very much appreciated and most helpful. I
am in my new place, with my own telephone
and a small kitchenette in the making- very
comfortable if not especially stylish, and
feeling more established than in some years.
I sold nine copies of the first and second
pamphlet to Mrs. Biggs and collected in ad-
vance, ten dollars- that gave me forty al-
together. I am still owing a bit on the old,
but the thing is achieved!

Will you send nine copies of each
therefore, as soon as you can, to Mrs. Biggs.
I had already sent her one of each in the
first two tens you have sent me. And may I
apply that ten to my commission, in this
way- that five of it goes to you and five to
me- so that you chalk five instead of ten
against me and add it to the thirty- making
thirty-five owing to you from salw of pam-
phlets- past sale and future? And then add
to this another $2.50- on the ten pamphlets
you sent to me, the second pamphlet, last
week and which I will dispose of? I will
begin to send you money as I hear from this
ten- am sending them out tomorrow. This week
has been hectic, with moving and a bit of
laryngitis and Chouns down for a couple of
days unexpecte dly- wanted to see the doctor-
and Gordon here to debate and to speak in de-
bate over the radio. Tonight is Diana's per-
formance at the Goodman, with group. Gordon
is going, to see if she might go to Madison,
and then taking a two o'clock train tonight
back home.

Saw Dr. Krausz at a lecture of
his last week and he brought me greetings from
you. Said he had met you and then had lunch-
eon with you the next day. From the way he
spoke I gathered you and he must have liked
each other- he said he did and he never seems
to say anything he doesn't mean as exactly as
possible. I think he is quite a dear and

he has a charming and intelligent wife in the bargain- married twenty-five or more years! He brought me the greetings as if it was great fun and something of much moment. It was- but I was interested to see how he thought so in the bargain. Douglas must have been pleased to have finally gotten you together.

Thank you both ever so much - the best of good fortune and of increasing good fortune, to the publishing. It's a swanky swanky looking job, your printing. I will be selling pamphlets this week, when I trust there will be a lull in outer affairs for me. Marion VanTyle has a downtown concert week after next. Bertha I presume is on the road with the Federal Revue. I suppose they will go to New York- that will be pleasant for her. She seems to have enjoyed very much the experience of a performance every night for weeks- enjoyed the discipline of it. It is very professionalizing, of course.

Chicago has had so much dance this winter- a modern dance series, for one thing, with Hanya Holm and Doris Humphrey and Martha Graham coming on with their groups a few weeks apart, and giving not only performances but lecture demonstrations also. I had luncheon with Martha Graham's manager, Frances Hawkins, and heard much about behind curtain life among the modern dancers. They are an odd combination of the professional and the amateur and the naive. I was trying to tie up Kreutzberg for next winter's appearance. I have managed to for the moment, a ny way.

Gordon and Chaum both look well, though Chaum wasnt feeling very well and had been having intercostal neuralgia, which is painful. I will be so glad when they finish their sojourn in Portage and go to some city life again. To hear Chaum talk is funny, by way of contrast with his conversation of the last few years-he says small towns and country life is utterly without intellectual stimulus and that one gets very bored and feeling very dull without people of stimulating ideas to talk with! One only dares nod and say nothing, though I feel more like hooting!

With love and ever and ever so many thanks for a much-needed lift,

Delaware 8929
47 East Division Street

MISS HELEN DUPEE
47 EAST DIVISION STREET
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS
DELAWARE 1929

September 19, 1937.

Dear Bruce:

Thank you for helping Gordon at the moment- thank Marjorie too if she has a hand in it. I hoped to take care of everything myself, but there were clothes to be bought, not only for Gordon but for Bob and for mother, and with my baritone's fund I ran short in the end because two people backed out at the last moment. At least one person promised two thousand and then gave but one and another dropped out altogether. So I had much less for the winter at the time, than I expected. I am trying hard to get these two places filled, however, in the interim of working on other promoting projects.

Gordon deserves assistance to some extent He is very considerate, handles his money extremely well, and is gradually taking on responsibility as to earning money. Last summer made a tremendous impact - had a tremendous one- upon him. I cannot but be grateful to both of you forever for that. He had a job this summer which he took very consciously and which was certainly hard work physically. This winter he will probably have a job at the college, even if I have enough money for him. He can then save what he doesn't need and use it for next summer, when I hope he and a friend of his will do some traveling on some of their own efforts, and then perhaps, if credits can be arranged, finish his last year at Oxford. That is the plan he and his friend Wilson Schooley, have in mind at present. Of course things may change very much. Gordon has splendid business ability- he is a natural promoter, -and he was of great assistance to me in the writing of prospectuses and original drafts for selling letters, advertising schemes, etc. He could do extremely well in business.. no trouble about that. It wouldn't do him any harm to take a few courses in advertising- just for extra information. If he is to go into politics- I can't see him in a University or even a school, teaching- he is too physically restless- and too much of a non-conformist, I should think- but if politics, he will probably should have to have some law. Well, he must decide such things himself..

About Chauns- yes, I discovered- or concluded what you were doing when I began to hear from Chauns about your shooing people out and getting him a job, etc. I understand perfectly and know how good

it is of you- what great effort it takes to do such
things- what kind and constructive effort- and how
much good it can do and how little it is as a rule
appreciated. Of course the'patient' goes through a
tremendous ordeal- like birth, or like what birth may
be. And with so little , naturally, real focus on the
thing. You are doing it somewhat a la Gurdjieff him-
sel - I mean some of the tactics or type of them- and
you know what you are doing. Of course Chauns has al-
ways been apt to get into something, to be pushed in-
to it by chance or by someone, and then stay there
forever, no matter how disagreeable it is. But I hope
- you will know- he has reached the turning point in
this. If you can move him over this point - from child
adolescent to adult, actually- well, what a marvelous
thing to have done. He has to help and he has done
a great deal in the last few years.... But I do und-
erstand and would have even if you had not written.

With ever so many thanks-

MISS HELEN DUPEE
47 EAST DIVISION STREET
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS
DELAWARE 6929

Tuesday, Oct. 19, 1937

Dearest Bruce:

I have been thinking about you all
all during the day and wondering if you are ever
going through this part of the world again. It doesn't
look that way. I presume you are both very much
wedded to the farm- and I don't wonder, from what I
hear of it; and the house you must care as much about
as Marjorie. Well, it sounds like a grand life for
you all, and I presume one must count on getting
down to New York once in a while instead of having
easterners come on. I certainly am as insular as ever,
however. Even Elise went wandering this summer- went
to Central America and adored it!

Bob and I are at present living together- Gordon couldnt find anything suitable as far as rent went, up in Madison. It is just as well, it seems to me. After college he will perforce have responsibilities. He might just as well have as much freedom for study and companionship now as is humanly possible to arrange, it seems to me. Dont you think so? As it is, he is having a much more crowded and difficult kind of life, being partly self-supporting. I had thought I was going to have enough to manage him and Bob and myself very nicely this winter. But at the last moment, after I had spent most of the money, two people from whom I was to draw commissions, failed to comply as promised, and I was left high and dry for the time, with Gordon and Bob half involved. We will manage better later, however, because I am on the point of having a fairly well paid job for at least four months. That will be a relief to everyone. I am working on side issues, such as Poetry and Beacon magazines, and a large theatre scheme. So far, however, the latter haven't brought me in much because I can't concentrate on anyone of them long enough to accomplish much.

What I am leading up to is that when I
wired you to help get Gordon off, for one hundred, I
had hoped for half of it for myself! I presume I did
not make that clear, and also you could not at the
time spare it. I need it still more badly now and wonder
if by any chance you are more affluent at the moment
and if you and Marjorie could spare it. I will have
this job any day now- it is more or less already promis-
ed - we are just 'haggling' over terms- but it wont
pay me anything for two weeks after I start it; and I
do not see how I can last longer than next Saturday.
Then everything comes due, without any chance of puttiig

things off any longer-rent, a month behind and very
unpleasant, telephone, which I need badly; Bob's
school bill overdrawn and due; and a small grocery
bill and no chance for any more credit unless it is
paid by then. Seventy just covers these things. I see
no way I can borrow it here or make it by then. I am
trying hard to get commissions on the magazines mean-
time. But even if I do they will not be paid in time.
The theatre job an promises extremely well-but there
is always a large area of chance between promise and
conclusion in the theatre game.

If you could possibly spare seventy
now it would give me the time and freedom to go on
with the conclusion of the affairs about the job and
a chance to work on the other things. If you cannot
I do not know what to do! I dont know why you should
lend it, I am certain; for friendship's sake seems
to be too much-I have already overdrawn on that
basis. In any case, however, I do hope you will
stretch this point a bit, and make another generous
gesture. I may have a chance to repay it in kind -
how can one tell- and will certainly try. It will be
more than manna. I have Bob on my hands and Gordon
must have some money; I really have to have some
assistance at just this moment, much as I hate to
ask anyone for it, and especially you two, who have
been so absurdly generous to us all.

This is about all I can say. I have
not counted a single extra penny as necessary. What
I have mentioned is necessity cut down to the bone!

With apologies but hopes-

Jan. 2, 1938.

Dear Bruce:

Your Christmas present made all the
difference imaginable in the holiday cheer, and you
are both dears and will always remain so and I thank
you very, very much for much pleasure and especially
for your thoughtful remembering. A hug to both of
you if that is permissible.

Gordon was downof course for Christmas and
motherhad come in to Chicago from Wheaton, Paulenne
having again acquired temporarily an apartment in the
building she is handling. We had Christmas there and
while it was a bit bare because they had only been in
it less than two weeks, we had a wood fire in the fire
place and a tree and the whole family except Chauns
and Tockie, and it was jolly and 'gemutlich', as Dr.
Kollar would say. The apartment, at 199 Lake Shore
Drive, is so large that all of the furniture mother
and Paulenne possess could go into one corner of the
living room! The living room and large hall and the
dining room all run one into the other, through the
entire length of the apartment and make, or can make, the
largest ballroom! So they are using just the bedroom
wing, which has a small square hall of its own and a
kind of mirrored front door into the main hall. There
are four bedrooms, each opening into this inner
square hall, and each very large. It makes a most amusing
apartment within an apartment, like something on
the stage. Of course if I were there I would use the
dark panneled living room, anyway, at least to sit and
read and talk in, regardless of size- because it has
beautiful proportions and because of the large wood window
seats and the magnificent expanse of view north, over
the lake and including the view of Michigan Avenue north.
which, by the way, consists of three large driveways
side by side, now, and that many more lights, of course.
But they feel more cosy and private in the small quarters-
though they are not particularly small--and Paulenne
feels less danger of strangers popping in to look at
what they might suppose an empty apartment, one for rent.

Anyway, we had a very pleasant Christmas
and it was in a large part due to you. I do want you to
know that and to feel warmly thanked for it. I wish I
could do something really appreciative for all the people
- though there are only a few that really matter- who
have done things for one- I wish I could do something
for you all that would give you some real pleasure. As the

years pass and expenses grow larger and incomes smaller in this part of the world, at least, I begin, however, to think my chances of having money in this life time are decidedly thin! It is part of the incentive of living, however, also, so one keeps on with gestures towards it always, I presume.

I don't suppose you are in the country much, now that it is getting cold-or did you have Christmas there? It is the ideal place, of course. Argie must be making Christmas more and more of an occasion for you, isn't she? Bob did for us-Gordon belongs with the grown-ups now, as Marjories children do, I imagine. Gordon seems very much twenty-one - graver, more at ease, quieter, I would say. Still with dozens of your mannerisms- which make me laugh and at the same time make me a bit homesick. What he got from you that summer was amazing. I think if you saw him now and saw how he had continued in growth you would be very pleased.

With wishes for the best and the brightest and the most longer-for New Years for you all, and with affectionate greetings,

How is this for an inscription, if you don't happen to know it? It was on the rim of the alabaster wishing-cup found in Tutankhamen's tomb, among the thousand and one other treasures-the wish the young Queen made for the dead young King was inlaid around the edge. Ka was the name for death or life after death, as far as I know:

"Live thy Ka, and mayst thou spend millions of years, thou lover of Thebes, sitting with thy face to the north wind, and thine eyes beholding felicity."

Jan. 12, 1938.

Dear Bruce:

I do wish that you and Marjorie, or Doro-
thy, had been able to invest in that theatre scheme!
It would really have made some money, I believe. We had
the Doll's House booked for the Studebaker as the first
play and they found an opening at the Erlanger and decid-
ed that was a better theatre and refused to sign a con-
tract. In letters and telegrams they agreed to the con -
tract, however, and we- Martin Burton, Tom Fisher and I
- really Martin Burton is the person, with Tom as lawyer-
are suing them for breach of contract. Tom thinks there
is a very good case and is pushing it hard. There have
been several hearings here in Chicago and so far it seems
to be going in our favor. It goes to New York- there are
hearings there- and goodness knows what will happen then.
Martin and I are hoping that even if Tom wins the case
that we can get a tiny bit out of it! Tom sees it as a
chance to make a possible large fee for himself- announces
that no reputable lawyer takes a case to court for less
than from three to five thousand as a fee! That his fee
must come out first! I can't do much because while I am
Martin's partner, so is Tom, and the case and contract
are in Martin's name and he is afraid to interfere with
Tom! Of course probably no other lawyer would go to all
that trouble and take the case- no one as good as Tom is
supposed to be; so if he didn't take it we wouldn't gain
anything anyway. So... I hope a little will come out of
it, however.

If I send this letter to 37 West 10th you
will probably be in the country; and vice versa. I want
you to get it quickly and to please give me an answer as
quickly as possible. Will you please?

I am again asking to borrow some money.
Believe it or not- but this game of getting money for my-
self is a new one! You would not think so from the last
couple of years, I should say- you and Marjorie, that is.
Other people haven't experienced my attempts so much -
though I am not hesitant if there is anyone with money
I can think of, I am certain. But I don't know what to do,
Bruce. I am really in such absurdly helpless a situation
at the moment, xxxxxxxx. It is embarrassing to you
for me to ask to borrow money from you, whether you have
it or not, I presume; and to me naturally also. I should
be borrowing it from Marjorie, of course. It would be
somewhat more comme it faut. But I don't know Marjorie well
enough, much as I would like to, to write her and put the
situation to her. She doesn't know me well enough to care

whether I starve or survive, naturally, except in a gen-
eral humane and generous fashion. So I continue to
write you. If I have to go one being in these predic-
ments, however, and bothering other people, I give up-
I am really discouraged, I think. At the moment I cant
see much ahead. Everything looks like a blind opening.
Of course all discouragement and all despair is a
species of self-pity and when one realiz es that, it
is not difficult to come from out under. But I dont
know at the moment how to get any money with which to
move and try to make some.

You see I made some money, a fairly good amount, last fall-late summer, I think it was. I paid up old debts and spent it on what seemed to be needed at the time-all kinds of people in the family needed things badly-shoes, clothes, etc. I wouldn't have saved some of it, however, and put it in a bank, if I had not had a very good salaried job ahead to count upon, as I presumed. The Music Project offered me a position with them to do work about the State, from Chicago-to get them a State Committee and so on, at two hundred dollars a month. I was to have that in October. They delayed it until December and then told me that it was all off. Not because they didn't want me, because apparently they do very definitely-I had never applied-they came to me-but because the business office in connection with the projects as a whole had a Misses somebody or another whom they wished to put into the place and who was already on salary. They said she was quite inadequate but that they had to take her-that they were helpless in the situation. Of course if it were not for the salary I shouldn't be so sorry after all-because the projects as I know only too well, are bad in that way-full of the most unethical type of politics.

In addition, I had six weeks of the ulcerated
eyeball condition and couldnt do anything on my other
promoting odd jobs. And then I sprained my ankle! Of
course I was being glad that the Music Project job was
delayed because I couldnt have taken it when I had my
eyes bandaged. And I couldnt use them for more than a
few minutes at a time all during the six weeks. But I
had hoped it would take place by December first. But
two months of expenses running along and old bills un-
paid and nothing to do! And the theatre thing I tried
by telephone but we couldnt get the money fast enough
to do it. So we had to let it go, except for this suit
against Harris and Company.

Now this is the situation I am in. Mother is
in town and with Paulene. She has had a bad gall-bladder
attack and is apparently recovering from that, though
the doctor is anxious about her. I think she is, however.
But it is nip and tuck with her. She is so tiny and so
thin- looks like a little thing you could pick up so
easily and carry about. She had a series of very severe
nosebleeds during the attack of gall-bladder and this
was most fortunate. Otherwise she would have had a

2

cerebral hemorrhage, the doctor said. So we don't know
exactly what to expect.

I owe sixty odd dollars here in rent and
I have to have it before I leave here or they will hold
my clothes. And I have to leave the first of February
because the place is rented to some one else. I have to
have a little money to go somewhere else with, for a short
time. I have no telephone and a bill of seventy for that-
I don't know how they ever let it run so far up, but they
id. I have had no telephone for a month and no money
and owe for food and milk. I shipped Bob to Dolly's and
Chauns sends a little each month for him. I go to Dolly's
for dinner. But she is the only person in the family mak-
ing any money at the time and can't do much for anyone sep-
erately. Paulenne hasn't made anything for several months
but she and mother manage because mother has a little
each month from Elaine and Paulenne gets the apartment
rent free. I can't go there because the manager of the
building won't allow anyone but Paulenne and mother- that
is the arrangement. I owe seven dollars on this type-
writer and they want it back. I can't send out any letters
for the Poetry Magazine because I have no money for stamps
I have a hundred letters to send out, all ready, and it
will take four cents a piece and I haven't five! I have
tried Mrs. Biggs. Diana has nothing. David is on relief
and the sole support of his family. I am trying everyth-
ing I can but I have no way of telephoning and no car-
fare and so don't get much done. And they certainly make
life miserable for me here where I am.

I am trying to borrow five dollars somewhere
to send the Poetry letters out. Dolly wants to be paid for
ten days and then it will take time to get replies from
them. Meantime I have to move and I have to have a telep-
hone if I am to do promoting. I will be very economical
of it for a long time, I tell you, however. If they had
not assured me the position with the Music Project was
definitely set I would never have been so rash. Never xga
again until I am actually working on the thing and in the
office will I pay any attention... This five won't do me
much good, however. I can't go far enough on it. I have to
pay rent and I have to pay telephone and have something
to move with and to start somewhere else with.

If I could borrow three hundred dollars I
could manage for the winter and keep going and get into
something, find something. I know you can't do this. But
so you think you and Marjorie could possible let me have
two hundred dollars? It would be so kind of you two such
very kind people. I have no right to ask it- you may have
just enough to get along on yourselves. I have had very
much from you and the family have. I will try to get

where I can give money instead of asking for it, however. If I can raise some more money for my baritone I can make two or four hundred dollars- two thousand more is necessary and that would give me four hundred. I would then, on my word, return you the two hundred- if possible, the four, though I have to help Gordon at college too. He earns his meals but he has to have a little. Then I may get something from the case- this is only a 'may', decidedly, however. But if I do I will return something from this also.

Can you help me, Bruce? Can you think of anyone who might let me have something if you cannot? I just can't move in any way. You have been hard up- and you have a good imagination. You know the thousand and one little things, like having your shoes resoled and no toilet articles and so on, that hamper one. I simply must have some help, somewhere...

If you and Marjorie can possibly let me have the two hundred, I can get something more from some one else, perhaps. Or get out and get my telephone and my rent and some place to go to and some something to live on for a month, anyway, and then make some money. I have done it before, surely I can do it again. Surely there is something I can do!

Will you let me know? I am sorry to be such a problem. But there are crises finally. You have had them yourself, I know. I don't know about Marjorie- but she has known so many different kinds of people and she has a tender heart, I know from the little I saw of her, and a generous spirit.

With apologies and with hopes that this plea will not be impossible for you to manage,

I sold a book to a publishing firm- you will get a copy- it is by the Douglas Flintan who has done the interesting Shakespeare research - and they decided at the last moment to bring it out in 1938 instead of the Christmas of 1937. They let a few copies go out, with 1938 publishing dates on them. But they decided, and probably wisely, that there was not enough time to push the book for this Christmas, that it should be pushed with clubs and bookshops and libraries starting from June and on; and so it is to be brought out next Christmas instead of the last as was formerly supposed. So that was another source of income gone.. It is a book that should make money, the publishers think- as a juvenile.. So definitely a Christmas sale thing, however.. I will get some money out of it eventually, of course; but not this winter as I had supposed.

Tried Elaine, of course. Says that if mother wants to give me some of her fifty, that is al-right with her! That they can't do anything else!

Jan. 23, 1938.

Dear Bruce:

I can't say what angels I think you and Marjorie are, or what it meant to be given a chance for action again, or how actually dizzy I feel from relief from extreme pressure! I would have written you before this to tell you so if I had not had so many things to do and if one eye had not become bloodshot again and I had to be careful about using it... It is alright again and now I have more time to write coherently too.

You are both good beyond expression. You must know it- it seems almost ridiculous to say so. I cannot say in words how greatly I value your help or your kind hearts or your understanding. I was miserable, in the sense of being completely balked in every direction and without any way of moving in anything, apparently. And then you deprive yourself and break this really ghastly state and make expression of energy possible. I only hope enough is generated to do something essential and constructive and not just momentary in effect,

One would be glad to be in trouble a great deal to get a letter with advice in it from you, Bruce. I should hope you would give me any you can think of- life is very short- nothing is more the act of a friend. From you both any kind of advice would be kind. I value whatever I can get of it- as much as I value your res- cue of me from an unbearable and impossible situation. I wish you gave more of this advice, of course- I wish I might get more from what you give. You say try to carry with me what I have learned from the experience- yes, I will, assuredly. You say to forge a way of living from my own centre. No, you say something more to the point and more possible- "may the Great Life work one of its wonders within you, so that in the future you wont feel impelled to save yourself by doing this and that promising thing which turns up, but will be able to forge a way of living from your own centre." Thank you, Bruce- from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for wishing it. I will do what I can. I hope I have profited. It isn't something one can do just by 'taking thought', of course. One must do more than that and the miracle may be accomplished. I hope I have profited- there is no saying as yet. But of course I hope so.

A hug to you both- and much love and more gratitude than is possible of expression in a letter. I am moving- in several different ways! I am trying to arrange to take a house and keep one floor for myself and Bob, and for a room for Gordon when he comes down, and

turn the other two floors into an apartment each and
so get my rent free and have a more permanent base.
And so on. The telephone is on, the rent is paid here,
the laundry and the grocery and the typewriter bill and
the milk bill and I have made necessary purchases such
as shoes, etc. and the thousand and other little things
which had to be taken care of and I have stamps to
work on Poetry with, and so on, as well as something
to move with. Life is therefore of course so different
externally as well as internally that it is
more than exhilarating. Which is entirely due to you
and Marjorie and which I am telling you about because
one should have a little of the pleasure and relief and
thrill that one has given to some one else so generously
and understandingly- one should have at least the
sense and knowledge of what it has meant and done for
the other person. That deeper things will result also
I know you hope and I do. Thank you for the opportunities
for both... One should have more than just thanks-
one should have some knowledge of the actual present
results. I will try to achieve some personal and future
ones, monetary and otherwise, by way of real appreciation
and reward to you both.

Mother is a little better, a little strong
-er. She sits up a little each day. We hold our breath.
She has great resilience- it is marvelous. I had Dolly's
radio fixed so that she can use it- but keeps her in touch
when she wishes it, with life beyond her bedroom and I
am certain that is heartening and enlivening. Thank you
for that also. We are hoping she will be up and about.

Too bad about Chauns's job! Awfully hard
to get one- you were a marvel to have done it for him in
the beginning. I hope he finds something soon. He was
apparently going along with so much real profit. If I had
known about him when I wrote you I wouldnt have written,
I believe. I didn't hear until afterwards. He wrote
that he had seen you and that Marjorie was in bed with
a cold. I do hope she is better and that she feels well
and that you do also and that you have no more eye trouble.
By the way- what di you have this last fall that
could have been a 'test of Abraham?' It was in your
numbers! Something you have to be willing to give up
and which you do not want to- everything depends upon
your attitude; if you take a philosophical one and do not
oppose things too hard, they will adjust. Etc.!!! Is
there anything in it? At least you would be philosophical
and reasonable and things will adjust, or have adjusted.
I have wondered, not only in the name of numerology,
of course, but for your own sake. It is always a
hard experience, supposedly.

All the thanks and gratitude in the world
to you both- 'kind hearts are more than coronets'- you
have both been more than royal..

With love to you both, from all of us,