(part omitted)

Goodnight.

It's the end of a quiet day --- your letters --- or the spirit of them
with me all day has made it fine --- quiet.
They give me a curious kind of
balance --- a conscious control of myself that I like.

Just to know that you are.

The little girl again after being the wondering woman --- Little
girls are selfish --- thoughtless --- I'd like to be rocked to sleep close to
somebody ---.

Goodnight ---
Wednesday night ---

#24 Postmarked Canyon Texas

Jan 8 1917 (second letter of this date)

Tonight --- I don't know why --- but I think I know that in the morning I'll mail
letters --- that's a funny word

to use for what I
send you isn't it

Anyway I'll mail you something

It's a warm night --- so warm that I've been out beside the house in a
cotton kimona --- looking --- feeling the night --- blue.

You know --- I don't wonder
tonight at the way folks believe in a God ---

Little Cooper lay on my bed with me all
afternoon --- I had stayed in to work
but she came --- She was distressed
when I said something that led her to
think I didn't believe in the kind of
God she believed in --- and that I didn't
know what happened when we don't live
anymore --- but out there tonight

You know there is something in that sky --- Man would have been a fool if he hadn't made up some sort of a yarn to satisfy himself after looking at that every night for thousands of years.

I believe --- or I think I do --- tonight --- that if I had
time --- tonight --- to feel that sky enough --- it would tell me something ---
or that I could tell myself something that would make things clearer --- but

I haven't time --- I'm trying to tell myself something else and it's after eleven

["1-13-17", "BOARD OF REGENTS", "SAM SPARKS, PRESIDENT, AUSTIN\nWALTER J. CRAWFORD, BEAUMONT\nROBERT J. ECKHARDT, TAYLOR\nA. C. GOETH, AUSTIN\nJ. S. KENDALL, DALLAS\nA. B. MARTIN, PLAINVIEW", "The West Texas State\nNormal College", "Canyon, Texas", "R. B. COUSINS, PRESIDENT", "L. G. ALLEN\nMARTHA BELL\nW. H. BLAINE, JR.\nMARY MORGAN BROWN\nHENRY W. GELLER\nF. P. GUENTHER\nJ. A. HILL\nMARY E. HUDSPETH\nJESSIE M. KLINE\nMARY A. LAMB\nWINNIE D. LOWRANCE\nTENNESSEE MALONE", "R. L. MARQUIS\nH. W. MORELOCK\nGEORGIA O'KEEFE\nJESSIE E. RAMBO\nJ. W. REID\nJENNIE C. RITCHIE\nD. A. SHIRLEY\nB. A. STAFFORD\nL. HAMAH SMITH\nR. A. TERRILL\nTRAVIS SHAW, SEC\nGEORGIE PROTHRO,\nSEC. TO PRES.", "TRAINING SCHOOL CRITIC TEACHERS", "CLEVELAND BAKER RUTH M. COOPER\nANNA I. HIBBETS EMMA MCCLESKEY\nFREMONT MEAD", "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

BOARD OF REGENTS

SAM SPARKS, PRESIDENT, AUSTIN
WALTER J. CRAWFORD, BEAUMONT
ROBERT J. ECKHARDT, TAYLOR
A. C. GOETH, AUSTIN
J. S. KENDALL, DALLAS
A. B. MARTIN, PLAINVIEW

The West Texas State
Normal College

Canyon, Texas

TRAINING SCHOOL CRITIC TEACHERS

CLEVELAND BAKER RUTH M. COOPER
ANNA I. HIBBETS EMMA MCCLESKEY
FREMONT MEAD

R. B. COUSINS, PRESIDENT

L. G. ALLEN
MARTHA BELL
W. H. BLAINE, JR.
MARY MORGAN BROWN
HENRY W. GELLER
F. P. GUENTHER
J. A. HILL
MARY E. HUDSPETH
JESSIE M. KLINE
MARY A. LAMB
WINNIE D. LOWRANCE
TENNESSEE MALONE

R. L. MARQUIS
H. W. MORELOCK
GEORGIA O'KEEFE
JESSIE E. RAMBO
J. W. REID
JENNIE C. RITCHIE
D. A. SHIRLEY
B. A. STAFFORD
L. HAMAH SMITH
R. A. TERRILL
TRAVIS SHAW, SEC
GEORGIE PROTHRO,
SEC. TO PRES.

What happening in your world is not enough, much because I don't think very much about it. My mother used to be my chief source of information. And now I feel terribly excited over it. But I don't read much about it.

I don't like Texas papers. I don't make me learn to read them. And I don't like it so that Shelt Arthur Said, 'Well, we're public. And because he said it, I often I'm just crazy read it.' But I won't.

I don't know what it is. But I like to read it. And I like to write it.

And I make it so that things for me will be about as good as they have been. And I don't know. I just hope.

I did not write it in time. But always I'll tell you something. For you know my family always wonder why.

But you know, in time, I'm sure, for always, I'll tell you.

1-13-17

1-13-17

BOARD OF REGENTS

Canyon, Texas

R. B. COUSINS, PRESIDENT

BOARD OF REGENTS

Canyon, Texas

R. B. COUSINS, PRESIDENT

1-13-14

["BOARD OF REGENTS", "SAM SPARKS, PRESIDENT, AUSTIN\nWALTER J. CRAWFORD, BEAUMONT\nROBERT J. ECKHARDT, TAYLOR\nA. C. GOETH, AUSTIN\nJ. S. KENDALL, DALLAS\nA. B. MARTIN, PLAINVIEW", "The West Texas State\nNormal College", "Canyon, Texas", "R. B. COUSINS, PRESIDENT", "L. G. ALLEN\nMARTHA BELL\nW. H. BLAINE, JR.\nMARY MORGAN BROWN\nHENRY W. GELLER\nF. P. GUENTHER\nJ. A. HILL\nMARY E. HUDSPETH\nJESSIE M. KLINE\nMARY A. LAMB\nWINNIE D. LOWRANCE\nTENNESSEE MALONE", "R. L. MARQUIS\nH. W. MORELOCK\nGEORGIA O'KEEFE\nJESSIE E. RAMBO\nJ. W. REID\nJENNIE C. RITCHIE\nD. A. SHIRLEY\nB. A. STAFFORD\nL. HAMAH SMITH\nR. A. TERRILL\nTRAVIS SHAW, SEC\nGEORGIE PROTHRO,\nSEC. TO PRES.", "TRAINING SCHOOL CRITIC TEACHERS", "CLEVELAND BAKER RUTH M. COOPER\nANNA I. HIBBETS EMMA MCCLESKEY\nFREMONT MEAD", "So what's the use of it all", "In life, to go on, to go on, is to be afraid\nTo stay, to be afraid", "So what's the use of it all\nThat we must go on\nThat we must go on\nTo be so funny\nTo be so funny\nTo be so funny\nTo be so funny

1-13-17

So what's the use of it all.

That nine weeks --- 24 hours a week --- makes me feel still sicker ---
but it's so funny too --- it makes me laugh --- anyway --- I told old "Lankey"
Allen --- he teaches Mathematics and has charge of the S.S. --- he walked home
with me today --- it's fun to talk to him --- he looks so --- sober and overworked
and lean and lank--- I always pat myself on the back when I've been able to make
him laugh - and today I made him laugh several times --- I told him I guessed
I'd try worrying along with the rest of them ---

Then when I came in --- here was a letter from Virginia wanting me to make
out the material for their bulletin and wanting me to come back --- funny I don't
want to go --- I must be crazy --- the way I am enjoying being away from people

I know -

- old Scott is so funny --- and I'll miss seeing him

It's almost like summer today --- was yesterday too ---

- I hate plans ---
so it aggravated me to have to be thinking so much about summer --- it's so far away
--- maybe it will never get here ---

or will it --- does it always

come /

It does --- doesn't it.

earlier in the week

I wonder if you know what it's like
it's as if you had

put the whole world in that envelope

I wonder --- did you know it

I didn't when I read it the other day
I was so sick I could
only half understand.

Gosh!

the sister just came in and told me about a
girl I know here --- it's a queer uncanny face --- having shot or somehow killed
her little brother two or three years ago -

and it got my mind off of what

I was thinking ---

The sister was hunting all yesterday afternoon --- and you ought to see
the snap it gives her
it was cold. Cheeks so red --- she went alone
eyes --- and all of her so alive --- really it's great ---

She has been talking a long time. It's so funny.

She doesn't know of anything
she wants to do but --- as she says "get out where it's wild with a gun on her
back."

And she was wondering --- had been talking to others upstairs --- wondering what they would all be doing ten years from now --- I guess 17 always wonders that.

(part omitted)

Seven Arts came yesterday --- I like it ---
Hartley makes me laugh --- like
sort of an unhappy tired little boy. I haven't read it all but am going to this
afternoon.

1-19-17

#27

Postmarked Canyon, Tex

Jan 19, 1942 19:17

Night-time again — and — I've been wanting to write you for three days
but every time I think of it I must laugh because there is nothing to write
— and I think of the last few times I wrote — and how stupid I was and
what stupid things I said — it's really absurd — I've been feeling great —
work has been more fun than usual — pawing the air over courses of study
— and what do I know about what anybody ought to know —
So ridiculous — and so stupid.

I want to go out and play tag.

Everything seems so senseless — — — — — — And still I really don't mind
— — I enjoy it's senselessness — — — The world seems absurdly empty — and
I have to laugh at its emptiness —

— I can see nothing — so put out my hand to
feel — and it closes just on air — and we say air is nothing.

Such stupid people — it's all so stupid.

Little Cooper is the only live thing — she only feels — she can't
think — but she is fun. She isn't making good with her work though and
I can't stand being around her much because I want to tell her and I don't know
how —

— I think I could help her but she might just pick up and leave — it would
hurt her feelings — so I say — let it drift — or shall I???

I don't mean to apologize for being stupid — In fact — I guess I'm
stupid enough to like it.

I haven't wanted to read — By the way — I'm just
like a mule — I got nearly half way through Brook Kerith and balked — don't

know why — but couldn't make myself go on —

very much will come again someday.

Maybe the humor to like it

The Conservator came this morning and I read it all — even the ads
— I like what he says about you — Why — I guess I enjoyed it all
or I'd not have read it —

Please — Please — Please don't ever get what most
folks call sanity —

Why — tonight I feel as if anybody else in the world would bore me
to distraction but —

I certainly would like to see you.

Not for any reason in particular — except that I want to.

Between school and supper I finished the last Forum — the Yale Review is
now staring me in the face — — — — When I feel stupid and don't want to do any-
thing but waste time I do things like that —

There's a Geography with the Yale
Review — then too there is always the dictionary to fall back on.

If I don't get out of the humor I'm in I think I'll burst — and I
don't know why.

(part omitted)

Goodnight again.

I hate spring.

#29

Postmarked Canyon, Tex

Jan 24, 1917

(on tan paper)

It's such a cold grey morning

-------- let me write on this and see if it will warm things.

I went to Amarillo last night ----- Mr. Somebody played the violin somewhere
----- some funny things of his own ----- and others.

Then -- talking -- then supper --
then more talk -- It was four o'clock before I went to bed -- and I got up at
six and came down on the early train -- No sunrise -- it was all grey
-- and raw --

-- but for a little boy who came and jumped up in my lap like a
squirrel and was better than sunrise -- so funny. I guess we entertained the
whole car.

An hour's sleep -- wild food and wild talk --

-- Music not much

-------- People were fun -- it was really lots of fun ;

: But this morning -- the
sister met me at the corner on her way to breakfast -- She is completely out
with the landlady -- She wouldn't go with me -- had too much work to
do -- and it seems they had an awful time -- She had some girls in and the
old sister got after her and she got mad and wants to move.

and he depresses me --

I hate him this morning.

I HATE HIM THIS MORNING

Sounds like brass

cap and is crazy about my new dress and my green smock --- such a funny boy -- red
face and pink hair --- I always have to laugh when I see him coming --- it
usually means a remarkable speech.

The hand isn't white --
-- it's pink -- and very alive looking
and I'm looking unusually well.

I'd rather look like the devil and not be wood
--- I don't seem to feel anything ---

Again ---
Goodnight.

I went -- and came back late this afternoon -- Monday -- It was great -- and
it was stupid ---

I liked it --- there were a few great moments --- only
moments though ---

One I would tell you of but I haven't time --- I came back to
lots of work feeling that it was years ago that I was here in Canyon before ---.
Climbing to the top of the cliffs in the dusk to look --- alone --- the
sunset --- stars and moon very clear --- the bareness and the wind --- cold
--- and liking it --- no coat even --- and I couldn't find my way down for
a long time --- all the bumps on the cliffs looked alike --- but I didn't
care --- I'm not afraid these days.

Did you ever talk to people --- laugh with them --- be around with them
more than you are in the habit of being with people ---

walk with them --- climb
with them --- I started to say play with them and still have a curious numbness ---
unconsciousness of them ---

2-17-17

#31

Postmarked Canyon, Tex.

Feb 17, 1917

Saturday night.

Nights ______ three ______ provoked because I had been so busy ______ so many things to think of ______ and people aggravated me so ______ I read the first three chapters of "The Wild Duck" ______ every night I wanted to read it but couldn't ______ it was always so late ______ and there was always so much to do next day I didn't dare stay up later ______.

- It's that play ______ It's The Romancers ______ very foolish you know ______ but getting things to work ______ from carpentry to wigs makes lots of things to think of.

I guess I always picked up the Wild Duck in a rather savage frame of mind ______ feeling as though I'd like to take a bite out of it ______.

- just in a savage humor ______

Tonight — the play isn't till Monday night but after supper I put it all away and got in bed and finished the Wild Duck —

All the way through it I seemed to be seeing myself in all the people — in such a curious way.

It's great —

Not because I saw myself in it and in a way hated it for that

I don't know why it's great but it is

And I wondered why you sent it to me

Of course it doesn't matter

I wonder sometimes if I don't hate all the things that mean most to me

I don't know

I'm going to read it again

Snatches of Nietzsche too in my mad moments at night when I wanted to forget the

day - - it fascinates me. I wanted to get to more of it tonight but after Ibsen
-- somehow I had to stop -- couldn't start on anything right after that.

There have been those darned courses of study to work on this week too
it's so much wondering what is worth while -
- - what is

And something growing in my mind to paint if I ever have time again --- It's
so much nicer where it is now than it will be when I try to put it down --- why try.

Sunday night 9:25

I've been in bed all day -------- The room was quite dark when someone poked
your letter and some others under my door this morning.

I waited till the sister
came from breakfast -------- even though I knew by the size that it was yours that
came under first --
-- and even then I didn't read it right away -- coffee -- and
I felt like ----- less than nothing ----- and covered up again -----

I don't sleep
on a pillow ----- so I could see that letter over there on the edge of the bed ---
I began to wonder what the writing looked like inside ----- that's almost as much
as what you say ----- no not that much but it's sort of a key

so I opened
it and read the last edition ----- it is like a wonderful spring day in Virginia
-------- when the air feels as if you can take handfuls of it and toss it about ---
and the woods - --- black tree trunks -------- wonderful green -------- sunshine ---
violets everywhere -------- birds -------- and such sunshine ----- slow and
dreamy -------- such lots of green moss -------- and I know where the first ar-
butus blooms -------- and I know places in woodsy marshes where one can pick all
the yellow jonquils several folks can carry -------- and snowdrops too --------

week I'd have died if it had been much longer
the feeling that it's over
is great.

Goodnight.

Saturday morning.

I've just come from the post-office. Have to get my own mail since I've
moved.

Your letter and package and another as I went in the door I saw
Lester coming and thought I'd get out before he got there but in my hurry
dropped all three as I almost bumped into him in the doorway --- it was funny.

(part omitted)

All the world greets you this morning. It's very quiet the smoke
goes up straight On my way to the post-office I noticed many birds.

It's a dream closed eyes
a great quiet
that I send you this morning

The words look queer but the dream is past human.

I just this minute noticed that the other letter isn't for me.

been looking out at it till the room seems black-

- I've been wondering what I look

like hanging beside other folks -

- Of course it doesn't matter.

And when I feel that it doesn't matter I wonder if it's abnormal conceit
- I don't think it is but most folks probably wouldn't agree with me -
It
seems that it doesn't matter because it's only what is now and what is ahead that
matters.

You spoke of folks leaning on you - - - That seems so queer. I wonder
if I'm leaning on anybody.

If I am I don't know it.

The sister has just found that my dress that I'm so fond of - fits her
too-

- by having the belt a bit high -

- so she put it on and went off in it

- thinking she had made a great discovery.

I'm rambling - - - might as well quit.

Sunday.

New York would be very
queer without 291

I don't know that I
would like it.

And all the week --- so busy --- still -------- thinking --------

And --- because of what I was thinking --- wondering if I
ought not give up my job --- ---

--- Someway --- I feel today --- no.

It's a great place to work --- No
traditions --- the whole thing --- the whole institution --- just beginning ---
Started to build it seven years ago yesterday.

---Why I'd rather work here than anyplace I know of ---
and maybe I'm not
such a misfit as I sometimes feel ---

I've said some scandalous (according to
some folks) things in class this week --- way off from Art --- or maybe the very
substance of it if it's Life --- I don't know ---

I know the class was astonished
--- but they seemed to enjoy it
---Still I wondered --- would the sober ones of the place think me off my track---

And it occurs to me that something besides those sober ones may help the
whole thing along. I don't know --- I'll stay another quarter anyway.

Sunday night.

The wind has blown a gale all day --- it started while I was looking out the window after reading your letter ---

I guess I sat there a long time

with it in my hand ---

The dust blowing has made the sky seem a little yellowish --- it shakes
the house.

What can I say to your letter --- --- most of the day I have watched the
wind --- and wondered.

I didn't want to read --- started to several times but ---
as many times found myself looking out the window --- not seeing much --- but

fascinated - too windy to go to walk.

Wish you could hear the wind whistle.

Again — what can I say to the letter —

The work — — — my stuff —

I'm glad it means something to you — to me it
seems so bad that I cannot tell you how glad I am to be rid of it —

— Above all — that it quiets you — I am glad.

That is what your letter makes me want most to do.

Can you understand how
much without my trying to tell you?

I went to sleep here —

On again for the next week.

#36

Postmarked: Canyon, Tex

Feb 28, 1917

Your letter ______ this morning ______ was fine to see
and it surprised me ______

I don't know why --- --- --- I didn't seem to be expect-
ing anything --- --- --- and even as it was handed to me --- I smiled at the
feeling of surprise

I carried it through two classes and chapel before I had time
to open it -- and when I had finished reading I just simply wondered at what it
had given me
and I wondered too -- at what I had given you -- as I read
it -- before -- after --

I'll not tamper with it -- trying to
say what it was --
maybe because I don't
know how

I don't know.

I had on a black dress white crepy silky stuff for sleeves and collar
had to laugh when I looked down and saw it -- I looked as though I didn't know
when you asked the question
Didn't you know -- I always wear black
haven't had anything any other color except that green one last fall and the
green smock and colored coats sometimes
and I hate the green things now
I've always been more comfortable in black and white than anything else.

Yes --- you have seen Dorothy --- and talked to her --- twice --- I think ---
one time --- I remember distinctly --- she and Anita and I were there --- --- and
you got them talking --- in the right-hand corner by the door in the front room
--- I think there was a bowl on the stand in the center of the room ---
I was
behind it --- something you said got them started --- --- --- and I --- well ---

You threw out a remark to start me too ________ and it probably would have started me if I hadn't had to smile at them the moment before.

I was one of the damnably silent ones -- -- -- You ought to charge admission to folks when they go there that way
-- I looked -- and listened -- gave nothing but a crusty presence
-- and you knew I was thinking -- about what they were talking --
thinking differently -- -- -- --

Sometimes I enjoy not saying anything as much
as I enjoy talking at other times.

Another time I remember your glancing at Dorothy -- then looking at
someone else -- and I turned my back -- thinking -- Huh! -- He
doesn't think that fashion-plate has any sense under its yellow hair and blue
hat --

It riled me a bit --

I have wondered if she has been to 291 this year -- but I wouldn't
ask her -- I doubt very much whether she has been -- -- -- She isn't like
other folks -- -- -- I don't know what Anita has told her -- probably
something I wouldn't have --

Of course it doesn't matter -- but somehow

I have a feeling that if she knew that you liked my stuff very much it would
embarrass her to go there -- it's a kind of sensitiveness that most folks
haven't.

She never looked at those things you showed last year but once -- that
I know of -- Anita showed them to her -- and almost the first thing she said
to me when she saw me was -- "Pat -- I'm awfully glad you are here --
you must get your drawings from Anita right away -- she gets so excited with
them that she is ruining them. -- I could hardly stand it."

When I asked her what she thought of them -- she said "Well -- it

takes nerve to make things like that ... where did you get it." And
another time in great astonishment over: "S_k: " : "Pat how do you think of
those things how do you get those shapes in your head"--

Then she turned
to someone else and said "She has a recipe for them and she won't tell it."

If she ever dares to go against what the father would think -- dares to
be just herself -- she will be wonderful --

So much for Dorothy --- being with her used to be great --- I liked
most of her things --- as I think back it seems that she laughed at mine
but I didn't mind ---

She was thinking according to what she was learning --
theories and rules --

Tired of talking about her and not saying things -- The more I say the
more I tangle. I just like her.

No my room isn't finished yet --

but it is almost --

This one has three windows facing north. Mine has three -- one very wide and
two small -- facing east and a small one north and a small one south --
all one end is window --

If I ever move in -- -- --

Another coat of paint -- then the floor -- It's wonderfully white -- I
like it -- It's wonderful when the sun rises -- just plains to the sky.

My pink hyacinth is pinker and fatter and funnier than ever -- -- -- it
reminds me of the little fat man -- Latin -- who lives across the street and
comes out every morning just as I am getting up -- -- -- and I know he is looking
at me -- -- -- has seen me in all stages of undress I guess -- -- -- but I'm
usually too sleepy to care or move from in front of the window -- I told

funny I had never talked to him before he talked right straight
along a blue streak about what he wants to do what he is doing
how unless he is just "dog tired" he can't sleep nights for thinking of what
he wants to do machinery electricity he has spring fever
such a nice big funny little boy and I had never known him before from
lots of others

It's all unexpected

It's fun

it puzzles

I don't know

I'm just liking living

It's the light that wakes me most every morning and I get up just
about sunrise

again goodnight.

I read the last two acts of "The Enemy of the People" --- then supper again --- and I fooled the night away / and today school --- Wright's book as soon as I came home --- till supper --- and again till just now --- ten.

The yellow car won't come anymore --- he is off for sure this time --- and I'm glad.

I've been wasting such a lot of time on such stupid folks. Feel as if I'd yell if I had to speak to any of them again --- They have made me laugh and be foolish ---

I guess that was necessary.

But --- now --- This darned book has made the things I've seen people do all day --- seem so foolish --- so inane --- that I believe I can laugh by myself awhile --- Maybe it isn't laugh --- as much as it is wonder at it all ---

The man is a wonder ---

I want to tear the picture of him out of the book and hang it up --- stick it up somewhere so I can see it anytime --- when I think back over the day --- I want to jump on all the stupid folks I've seen and talked to ---

Not a single one I'd give the book to --- I have too much respect for it ---

I want to jump on them with my heels --- to hurt

Or maybe blow them around with a very hard wind that would knock them hard against the first upstanding thing

Goodnight.

My pink hyacinth doesn't seem so funny tonight --- it's pinker on