-2-

AIR MAIL

perhaps only one word or a single movement. As James himself says in one of his books, his object is to portray "the thing hideously behind". In his artistry he is unmatched. I think. The probably long over-due point I'm trying to make is that James is not unrealistic - if anything he is a heightened realist.

I admit that the mere fact that James wrote without a knowledge of Freud does not mean that *The Turn* cannot be interpreted in terms of sexual perversion. Many a critic, especially Philip Rahv, has seen it in that light. To defend my stand I can only return again to a perusal of his other works. James was a bit of a fuddy-duddy I have to admit, and he had a goodly share of the Victorians' distaste of sex. If it seems more interesting to interpret him in that light (of Freud) go right ahead! But don't look for it in his other books, for you'll be disappointed. Of course if you carry that sort of thing too far, you can interpret almost anything in the light of abnormal psychology. There are very few really normal people left in this world anyway! I don't mean to be flip or scornful of your opinion, Vic, because it really interests me very much, and I respect it. But the temptation to try to convert you is too strong to resist, though I doubt if my humble efforts will have any effect. You either like James or you don't, and no amount of praising him will change your mind if you really don't like him.

You see, Vic, that we disagree on our belief. You say that bad is bad and good is good and in that blanket assertion there is scarcely material for a thesis. It would be a much happier world for all of us if that were true. It is the very reality that such a statement is not true that James id Portraying. Life isn't black and white, it's all shades of gray. And that's where all the trouble (and all the neuroses) begins. M. James is interested in showing those shades and how what seems a darker gray to one is almost white to another. (Time to eat * I think I need it.) You're a realist, Vic, and a scientist, and you want the Jameses and the Dostoyevskys to say Here sir is what is right over in this corner and he who does thusly is blessed and will be saved, and over here is wrong and he who does thusly is a sinner and will be condemned. There is a sharp dividing line between the two which cannot be crossed. Therefore all one must do is be good and do only what is right. But life's not like that, Vic - it never has been and it never will be. Our actions are never entirely one or the other, but a subtle blend of the two. For example, the law says Thou shall not murder. Yet if you are faced with the problem of giving an overdose of morphine to someone you love very much or letting them die a slow and torturous death of cancer, what would you do? Legally you can't kill another, but wouldn't it be more merciful in the end if you did to save that person untold sufferings? Who is there that can say you are morally wrong in performing such an action, and yet to the eyes of the society in which you live such an action is legally wrong and is punishable by your own death as a murderer. Such examples are innumerable, and the authors of our world are not interested in giving a solution to the problem. There is no answer to it, in this world at least, and I'm beginning to doubt if there's even an answer in another world. The Jameses and Dostoyevskys are only showing the effect of the realization that there is no solution

-3-

AIR MAIL

on the minds and souls of people who face such a problem. And Vic, you must realize that such inner struggles are not the exception to the rule in our modern and increasingly complex society. Think of your own scientists who believe that the atomic bomb is a great evil, and yet have given many years of their lives to perfect it. You want an answer to it, Vic, and are disappointed because these men don't give it. We all are, but we read them and admire them for the faithfulness with which they portray on a larger canvas the smaller struggles of our own lives. You say, in your letter to Max, that "The expounding of philosophy is only of any value as long as it concerns itself directly with the realistic struggles of realistic characters in a realistic world". I admit, to get back to the question before the house, that *The Turn* does not appear at first glance to be very realistic nor does any of James' work for that matter. But if you interpret it as the portrayal of the struggle of good and evil for the control of man's soul, you see beneath the allegory of the story to the deeper reality below. It is a reality of truth not of actual personality development perhaps, so you can say that this is not a story of realistic people nor is it a realistic world they live in. But what is realism, if not the real that lies below pretence and illusion? Perhaps there again we shall disagree. I say, let the truth be real, and it will make all the trappings, so to speak, of the story real also. In that sense"The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" is as real as *The Grapes of Wrath*. Both give a glimpse of what is real in life, though their methods of presentation are at opposite ends of the world. This I admit it only my own criterion, and I won't enforce it on you. You are in many ways justified in saying that James is not a realist, but I must quibble with you over whether his philosophy is of value or not. His philosophy, if it can be called that, is simply, as I have said before, that evil and good exist together in the world and are often so closely connected that they cannot be irretably torn apart and placed in absolute categories. It is the philosophy of innumerable writers - Frank Norris if you want one who adheres more closely to your definition of realist. Read *The Octopus* - it's nothing more nor less than the ambiguity of good and evil in nature and the world.

C'est fini! I'll send you and Max a copy of my thesis some day which will explain my stand a little more coherently I hope. Max has probably told you most of the news. KC is still rather unhappy about life in general. He is not pro-Kuomingtang nor is he pro-Communist. He feels simply that a combination of the two will perhaps settle a few problems. That's where we differ for I feel the only permanent solution is another revolution which will overthrow the existing régime and the Communists and establish a government on Sun Yat-sen's principles. Such a thing can't be for some time yet, until education is available for all etc. For the present I have no solution. Perhaps a coalition will bring peace for the present. I don't know, because there are too many question marks, one of which is spelled USSR: I'm a cynic, Vic, and a pessimist, and I seem to feel more every day that man is by nature evil and will never change his selfish ways. Until we learn that in order to gain anything we must first sacrifice we will never have peace on earth. But man will always grab more than his share

-4-

AIR MAIL

and if anyone should give up some of his rights in the interest
of his brother man, he would only too quickly be disillusioned
by his brother's quick readiness to accept his offering without
adding his own to the pile. But you mustn't get me started on
this subject, or I'll go on for another three pages and you will
fall asleep from sheer weariness. I often think what a sacred
blessing it must be to those few who can say, as KC does, that
there is a God in heaven who is shaping all things to His own
end which is good. I feel too much as Ivan does in The Brothers
Karamazov when he says "I believe in God, but I cannot accept
His world." Perhaps I am overly bitter for having the rose colore
glasses snatched too suddenly from my nose and by those whom
above all others I had believed to be above the ordinary weak-
nesses of man. But such is life, and growing up is not an easy
task in any man's language. But I seem to feel so strongly the
evil, the hatred, the prejudice, the pain that make up what w e
are pleased to call the planet Earth that perhaps I read my own
emotions too deeply into other people, such as M. James! So the
struggle goes on - to fight against that hatred in your own small
way and yet knowing all the time that you too are human and becau
you are human you are weak and afraid and a lover of the easy
way out whenever possible. In a small sense that too is a part
of the eternal struggle of good and evil for the control of a
man's soul. KC would say that God willed that it be so. I can
only say that God forgot that man is weak and selfish and afraid
when He wove the tangled skeins of these two lives. But enough of
my own woes, you have enough of your own. We're all praying to
every idol we know including the goddess of fertility that the
discharge will come through. It will be more than wonderful to
have you in these parts this spring. Maybe for once we will have
a sign that there is a God in heaven! Anyway here's hoping.

In the interests of French literature I think I'd
better call a long over-due halt and give you a chance to breathe
again. It's all in the love of an argument, so if the spirit
moves you, write me back a scorcher and tell me I'm a moron and
inutterably stupid. It's good for me -

Love,

T/4 Victor Kumin, 31469239
P.O. Box 180
Santa Fe
New Mexico

T-4 Victor Kumin, 31469239

SED P.O. Box 180

Santa Fe, New Mexico

Spoke to Dolly and Pop this ayem but gleaned very little. they are
fine, had a fine time, Fred and Ah have moved in, they are fine, every-
one is deevinely happy and living on nectar and ambrosia.

It's been sifting down snow off and on all day today which is good
cheer for the skiiers. But woe there is no skating anywhere.

Couldn't make half a nickel with the crossword this morning, i didn't
see very much of it but the remnants tonight look mighty rough. It needs
your practised hand, honey, thatitdoes.

So then am I staelmated- so staelmated, alas, that I can't even make
any headway with this letter. Little new, little to do, and yet so much,
so much.

Well, honey, two more weeks- and less than that by the time you
are reading this. Doan worry chile, I'se hanging on, and can and will
till forever, if need be. Love you, darling, even in this brackish mood.

T-4 Victor Kumin, 31469239
SEO, P.O. Box 180
Santa Fe, New Mexico

WAC uniforms, distinguished by green cord around the hat and on the lapels. She says it is really very chic aside from the ghastly khaki color. Apparently they were proferred WAC lingerie in the same bilious green but proud in the possession of her snuggies and Jean's nylons, she refused. They don't know quite when they leave but another week or two anyway. And possibly they will go as far as France by boat, to her dismay.

Now I can't think of anything else, except maybe zu bett which isn't really a bona fide thought- more an instinct-- it's getting to be a habit with me. I'm sorry darling if the tone of the last couple'of letters has been slightly tattletale grey, but will chirk up, and this I promise. Excelsior. Couldn't imagine what was peering over my left shoulder until I looked round to see that it was the soles of Macko's not undersized saddle shoes. 'hat's enuff for any man. Thusly my t. bear, goodnight to you, with all my love, baby, lots and lots of it,

yer
May

UNITED
STATES
POSTAGE

THOMAS
JEFFERSON
1801-1809

3 CENTS 3

T-4 Victor Kumin, 31469239
SED, P.O. Box 180
Santa Fe, New Mexico.

his room in Kirkland after lunch and had a long talk- about Zionism, about the failure of parents to equip their children for futures, about loff and marriage and hotel rooms with fiances in them.

The weather is ghastly bad- today it has sleeted continually and I fear very much that planes will be grounded on the morrow unless it clears a good deal. And nary a star in the sky tonight. Oh hell.

My darling lizard, I don't remember EVER saying I was a lizard, but if you must be a lizard, then I shall be one, too. Oh yes now I do too remember feeling lizard-like; I still do but a little less so for I have resolved to use my spare time to read 'n write and exercise Yogistic self-discipline. Like getting up for breakfast in the mornings for no earthly reason.

I do wish however, that you would stop falling asleep over Anne Parrish; she deserves a better fate than that. But baby, you are really at work these days now, and don't feel obligated to read all the things I send you. I do these things in rash moments of enthusiasm, and I suppose that when we are married I will dog your footsteps urging on you every book, article, and play that strikes me fancy and make you miserable till you read it and declare that it's no good anyway.

Waal, Mom just the minute called and we schmoosed quite a while during which time I got some of the major details of the trip; it was a complete success, they had a wonderful time, all is well; naught new from Jerry, and she sends you her love. Will run over to see her when I get back from Philly.

You are well up on me with the Monitor; these days I am following the Times and PM and arriving at much the same conclusions. A good article in Life this week by the former of Stars and Stripes to the effect that the military system in the US has a healthy stomach ache in its caste set-up which has so antagonised the rank and file American that enlistments are at a minimum. He considers this the major cause for the dearth of eager pysts.. no doubt he is all too right. But then it depends to whom one listens to. When Fred and Herb tell it, it is idyllic and niggers are no good nohow. Oh Shit. Yes. I said it. I know wot plagues me; do you?

Did appreciate the two articles, the one on Groves and the one on Peron-I have followed the S.A. fascistic leanings ever since ever so long ago, when at 16 I insisted heatedly to le capitan Fishel (and my news was via the New Republic in them days) that the Sinarquista movement-national fascism- was taking hold in Mexico and other places south of the border. His pooh-pooh wounded my sensibilities then and there.

Braden is a courageous man. Peron is a demagogue, a demi-god and etcetera! it is an all too hefty example of mob frenzy and the herd instinct. Dosty, aha, Dosty in his own day had much to say about it. So have men ever since Adam. It is why they give courses in mob psychology. But they do not give courses in how to reduce State Dpt. pussyfooting as in the case of Arg. and likewise Spain. So long as big business interests are tied up in these places, that long will we pussyfoot until general ire is aroused. And it takes one helluva lot to arouse general ire.

Ickes was hard to lose. Pauley is a low-grade thief, everyone knows that but Truman, methinks, was too well schooled in the Pendergast method to forget it. I do not think he can redeem himself on any of the three counts- ergo, ergo, voila, Wallace for prexy in '48. Snooky, that was a damned fine letter.

What about Bulgaria???

3 CENTS 3

THOMAS
JEFFERSON
1801-1804

UNITED
STATES
POSTAGE

T-41 Victor Kumin 31469239

SED, P.O. Box 180

Santa Fe, New Mexico

but up with that hokay... gee gosh and I
can hardly wait-- to use our turkish towels.
Also saw the stationery sitting there in the
drawer with MWK on it oh between the con-
ception and the act- wotta gulf. Or between
the act and the-uh-conception- well that's a-
mother story.

Started your wonderful Zebra Derby today but
I laughed so loudly and unbecomingly in pub-
lic that I had to stop. Think it's just terif
and will certainly save it now for the long re-
turn trip.

Words words words- and bed feels so good tonight
my sweet, that this is oh woe, just all- not
much of a letter but didn't you to know that
night and day I'de with you honey, you ole stink-
er no mail from you all day today. Nyah. Comes
six o'clock- supper should be on the table. I'll
gte even with you- you can wash your own back in
the shower.

Love you, laddie, lots and lots and lots. Please
come home and marry me.

UNITED
STATES
DISTRICTS

OF AMERICA

BY
THE
FEDERAL

ON
SEP
1946

3 CENTS

T-4 Victor Kumin, 31469239
SED PO Box 180, Santa Fe,
New Mexico.

differences too obvious. And of course, I
am not much good at that. Every time I come
home, I do the same things wrong all over a-
gain. Some people hate themselves in the
morning, well I hate myself at night. And
when I see myself in the wrong mirrors this
way I feel awfully unsureof myself, altho I
know that we must be right- you and I and the
peo le like us. Well, it will be better in a
little while, in Cambridge. But darling, I
shouldn't have said anything about the wedding-
I ended it by saying that we didn't have to decide
this week or next, that we had time to
talk it over. But I couldn't help doing it- I
know how you feel about it and I know what I
think too, and however selfish we are being in
this, isn't it a little selfish of them, too?
I'm ashamed of this letter; I shouldn't write
letters like this to you, and I very seldom
indulge like this. It's on y a mood, sweetheart,
one quickly over. Don't scold. I love you very
very much and when you give me hell I would rather
just plain not be.

Muy

Muy

CLASS OF SERVICE

This is a full-rate
Telegram or Cable-
gram unless its de-
ferred character is in-
dicated by a suitable
symbol above or pre-
ceding the address.

WESTERN
UNION

A. N. WILLIAMS
PRESIDENT

1201
700P

<table>
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      <th colspan="2">SYMBOLS</th>
    </tr>
  </thead>
  <tbody>
    <tr>
      <td>DL</td>
      <td>Day Letter</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>NL</td>
      <td>Night Letter</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>LC</td>
      <td>Deferred Cable</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>NLT</td>
      <td>Cable Night Letter</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td colspan="2">Ship Radiogram</td>
    </tr>
  </tbody>
</table>

The filing time shown in the date line on telegrams and day letters is STANDARD TIME at point of origin. Time of receipt is STANDARD TIME at point of destination

MAR 3 P.M.

SF12 10=PHILADELPHIA PENN MAR 3 206P
T/4 VICTOR KUMIN=
31469239 SED PO BOX 180=

JUST HEARD JEANNIES FATHER DIED YESTERDAY NO FLOWERS LOVE
YOU=

=MAX.

THE COMPANY WILL APPRECIATE SUGGESTIONS FROM ITS PATRONS CONCERNING ITS SERVICE

more than the next person, but this constant fault-finding, well, I feel
hen-pecked and I can't take it graciously. And rather than be insulting, I
just shut up. God knows I am sorry and I think Dolly is sorry- she doesn't
mean to be that way. But I come home all exuberance and plans and I expect
her to be enthusiastic with me, and then when she isn't, I'm hurt. Anyway,
she shall have her wedding- knowing now how much it means to her, I'd be a
pretty low lizard if I didn't compromise on that. She has bought me a raft
of things but it can't be helped, and it will all be put to rights. And now
no more of this. We learn, all of us, but slowly.

I saw the doctor yesterday and it's a damn good thing I did, because it may
have a benefit on more to put things to rights. I wish I weren't a woman, even
if you- it's a lot of other and it's also a painful procedure. However,
with a little diligence (11) I ought to be in better shape (again if) but
Easter week, and who knows, able to use Tampax by then, on great boon,
and from then on, baby, it won't be long. At any rate, at the time we get
it, it will be a pleasure and not a tribulation, and I'm glad to, a
have got less work for you, Bobey (the doc) is a grand gal, too, and has
right, that on things. She explained it all to me very painlessly.

Stopped up to see Bobbie afterwards- they live right above the doctor's off-
ice-- and she was in a great flurry counting the hours till that night. I
helped a bit by getting in the way or at least by taking her off everyone's
hands for a while and we chatted for a while. The wedding was really a very
lovely one altho the rabbi indulged himself with a totally unnecessary spiel
that lasted a good half hour with a lot of unintelligible Hebrew and a lot
of eulogising about character and extended similes about the table before
him. I was holding my breath for fear he would have something metaphoric to
say about beds, too, but dammit, he didn't. The two families- since both are
from the same city-- were generations long and terribly prolific. The recept-
ion ran till night onto 8:30 tho they were married at 6 on the dot, and I
had a half dozen martinis and horsed around with everyone till we finally sat

T-4 Victor Kumin, 31469239
SED. P.O. Box 180
Santa Fe, New Mexico

Winokur
Cabot Hall
Radel:ffe Coll.
Cambridge, Mass.

J-4 Victor Kurnia, 31469239
SED P.O. Box 180

Santa Fe, New Mexico.

3 CENTS 3

T-4 Victor Kumin, 31469229

SED, P.O. Box 180,
Santa Fe, New Mexico.

3 CENTS

THOMAS
JEFFERSON

UNITED
STATES
POSTAGE

that. I do wish we could get married at the first feasible moment,
emergency furlough if need be, and graduation exercises be damned.
Five years from now, all this will look very childish and hasty.
Not only that, had I any pride, I would know better than to say this.

Not only that, had I any pride, I would know better than to say this.
But it is nothing that I have not said already or would not say again
if there were an opportunity. I know that it is impractical and beyond
that, very expensive but I never professed to be practical and for be-
ing expensive, Dolly would regard that as a good sign in my case. I
said before in another letter that I could and would wait for you
forever- forever being as far as next fall or next winter, let alone
this summer, and by that time we may both be good schizoids. So you
may take this cum grano salis, as a result of feeling that our corr-
espondence and phone calls have become hellishly inadequate, now that
we are both going around misunderstanding each other. It's not a very
healthy relationship.

Well now I am very tired and quite blue enuff to have spoiled what
probably was a very good day for you up till now. No more of this
again. You know, darling, I do love you thru thick and thin, it is
only that this is very thin, too thin tonight.
May

T-4 Victor Kusmin 31469239

SED, P.O. Box 180

Santa Fe, New Mexico

Sat noon

My darling:

There's an old adgge that applies to hang-overs: 'I hate
myself in the morning', it says. After re reading y our letters in
the cold light of day after a reasonable amount of sleep and a
fairly adequate morning's wear, I conclude that I was awfully nasty
last night, probably all digestive, somatic, or any old thing, largely
just reaction and blind reaction at that. There was no mail from
you this morning but nonetheless the heart is not as heavy as I
made out yesterday. I hope all the trivia have blown away and that
we can both settle down for however long it will be to a more sane
view oint. I don't know why I said we both, because you have been
remarkably sane thruout. At any rate, I shall try to be more of a
help and less of a problematic flea in the future. No more stewing
about colleges; let us wait a month or so, and see how the land is
lying then. No more stewing about furniture; we can always invest in
a double sleeping bag if need be, tho you might try to figure out
some scheme to keep Dolly's nightgown buying sprees down to a min-
imum. And no more simmering stew about setting the date. The less
time we have between the decision and the occasion, the less time
they will have to fancify our vows, etcetera. Will merely count on
you to keep mep osted on the discharge details as they break which
I know you will do anyway, w ithout my asking. And back we go to wait-
ing and working and seeking the light. Can do, I suppose we can-
I'm sure we can, with a few minor explosions..

I'm sure we can, with a few minor explosions..
Sent Seth a jigsaw puzzle for his birthday (Monday) from both of us.
Spent a very pleasant evening with Edy and Maishe last night; the latt-
er telling us about some of his experiences at Rhode Island State Hos-
pital with psychiatric cases.

We're off to call on the Rothblatts, un leasant task tho it be, so
must dash off now. But more tomorrow, your repantant,

XXXX

T-4 Victor Kumin, 31469239
SEO, P.O. Box 180
Santa Fe, N. M.

at MIT grad school studying chem engineering, whose picture I used to see on Ritty's dresser three summers ago. And Lassor Grossberg who is the homliest guy I have ever known but delighted to know that we're all gonna be cousins someday, and told me what a wonderful girl Romie was most of the night. About 1 or so, we adjourned to the fire in the living room and Allan read Poe's The Cask of Amontillado and The Tell-tale Heart to all assembled, accompanied by soft music from the Capeheart. It was a late party and the Warrens are a very hospitable crew. Parties are fun and talking is fun but when people sprawl in front of fires and play soft music, I begin to wish I weren't there. Met a very nice gal who is a grad student in Ec at Radcliffe, - Judy Weiss, from St. Paul Minneysota. And Marty is the thoughtfullest of nice people.

Friday afternoon Joan and I went in town to do some shopping and glee-
fullu acquired one each of a very very scarce pre-war article, now
back in its former elasticised form- garter belt. Joy. Now if I only
had some stockings, I'd be a lucky gal... can't even buy rayons anywhere
in the east now without scanning the papers daily and standing in line
for umpteen hours at sales. Oh the French have a word for it.. ts..
But Friday afternoon I also had an appointment with Dr. Sachs, at Maury's
instigation, and feel decidedly hopefuller. He looked at The Eye and
probed it and concluded that it is operable with a 50-50 chance of
success. He wants to ex-ray it with this new radio-active material that
enables them to get a good idea of where the obstruction is and hence
a better idea of the chances of an operation succeeding. It would mean
four days hospitalisation and I would be able to use the eye immediately
after. Haven't said anything to the folks, and don't intend to until it
has been x-rayed but Maury thinks as do I that it would be a mighty good
idea. I have a good deal of confidence in Bahcs, just from the way he
goes about things. After the fine phobia I have developed about having
that duct re-probed, I must admit that he is comparatively painless. I
used to pass out in the process but he is entirely bearable. And if any-
body can do it, I rather think he can.

Have a terrific windburn from yesterday's drive which could almost pass
for a Florida sunburn, but my mouth feels like a mudpie after this
weekend. Honey, I drink too damn much, and that's silly.

Had a nice letter from Mike Rura, nowwith the Allied Control Commision for Rumania- that guy gets around- saying that he would like a wedding pic from us and also our home address when we get one and hopes to meet you when he gets back late this summer. He's a good Jo, too. The world is full of good Jos. That giftie from Bronston, baby, was for the both of us, he swears it.

Spoke to the folks yesterday and learned that Pete's return has been
held up for a week, we hope no longer. Otherwise, everything is much
the same. Dolly said she just wrote to you.

But enuff for a Monday morning, sweetheart, except much much love; do
I sound like an old roue with the binges?? Am still leading a disgusting
pristine life, but care for no other variety that's a truism, and only
stands to reason.

However, I don't think I will quit here becuz the mail just came and
there were three, yes, three, letters from you. Rather, two letters
and a squiblet. But it is amazing how the morning begins to sing when

the mail comes. Despite the fact that I just looked out the window
and what do you s'pose, yes, it snoweth, but earnestly and my little
bike is bravely shivering thru it all.

Fust things fust- I certainly hacked up your commatulatory wire deal,
didn't I tho?? Natch, I gave you the wrong address. But a letter to
Mr and Mrs Albert Myers, (Bobbie and Bud) 1501 (1501) Clearview St.
and marked pliz forward will reach them at their new abode. And cheer-
fully will I take the chastisement.

Sweetheart, you are such an ideal t, bear, out of distress that I manu-
facture myself by being stupidly hypersensitive chez 152, I cry unto
you and instead of bombarding me with harsh words which I realyl de-
serve, I get back something that looks lots like sympathy and unlike
you who despise it, I have enuff female hormones to revel in it. But
you see, as you know, that these impasses with the family arise out
of my own lack of forethought and unreasonableness and I really ought
to know better after all these years. But that you can see with me and
not against me is enuff to live on forever and when I go hum in another
two-three weeks, the efforts I make will be noble and will spell acc-
omplishment of rapprochement, s'help me. One bright spot in the the
gloom of fubar discharge is that our very uncertainty precludes much
overall trousseauing on Dolly's part, as Shakes would have it, a con-
summation devoutly to be wished. In a letter from her today she has prom-
ised to do no more shopping without me and sounds discouraged enuff about
your eventual return not to do much spreeing. Sing ho for the life of
a bear. Or a Pooh, anyway you will have it.

About the Philly GE holocaust; true, the strike was illegal, but the in-
junction was not kuh-white white, you know. Finletter dodders, plays
politiccal football and has nothing to lose by sidling on the management
fence. One thing encourages me and that is that corporetive self-right
eousness has dealt itself an unknowing bitter blow thru ppolice viol-
ence becuz all the fence sitters leapt outraged, off onto the militamen's
back with a howl at the club-swinging. No one approves of strike break-
ing, John Q., bless his heart, voices his indignation at the truncheons
and horses' hoofs, in letters to the Ed in the Philly papers, altho what
revolted me was that the eds could not even restain themselves from
following all these letters with ed comments designed to shape the readers
opinion adversely. It's a mess.

Now that the tale is told about your letter getting fouled up in a box
of red herring (Can'l Groves, he died old), the situation looks not
quite as hopeless.. cheer up, honey, you may still get to sniff a last
crocus in Cambridge this year and even if you don't get here until the
bees are nuzzling the roses of summer (pliz, not the last rose, anyway),
we will hold out and out and out, until finally OOT.

Do you know, I have never read Babbit, but I will, and this week, too.
I'm sorry about the ban on the t'writer, it is incommodious, but can
still read your script and it still says the approved things and I still
love you mightily. I won't marry anyone else, at least not for another
90 days. And anyway nobody has aksed me since you did, so I can't even
if I wanted to. And there isn't anybody I want to marry, not even Bronston
I would only like an intellectual liaison with him, andnot even Marty
becuz we are going to have an affair 15 years hence anyway so there's
no percentage.

Joan and Mack and I went over to pay our respects at Rothblatts yester-
day-not, Sat'dy afternoon. Found the household in order now, but Mrs.

R. looks very badly indeed- as tho she had aged ten years ov rnight. Jeannie
too, looks anything but well. I gather they are not postponing the wedding,
Bob leaves for East O. the end of this week and will be back in the middle
of may for the appleblossoms.
✓ Anne P. was a Philly gal-

of may for the appleblossoms.
All Kneeling- clear and simple self-identification- mais oui. I suppose
there is a reason why I revel in that satire every time I re-read it which
is about once yearly. But it is so trenchantly done. I guess you've read
Maugham's Cakes and Ale. That's good too, in the same volume.
This is the end of the pink paper

This is the end of the pink paper tho I have a score or more of envelopes
left over-- testimony to long letters, that is.
La these with an accent aigu over the first e) gets handed in Friday and

La these with an accent aigu over the first e) gets handed in Friday and
will get a copy off to you soon after, tho I sadly fear you will find the
going awfully dull and awfully puzzling without the texts close at hand. It
should affect you the way Pete's treatise on the transmutation of elements
affected me. If you get bored, just read the conclusion instead.
I owe a half dozen letters but never get to any of them this way. Meant to

I owe a half dozen letters but never get to any of them this way. Meant to
say that in conversash with Allan Sat night I gather that chances are not
half-bad for getting in the grad school these days, and that men from other
schools are being given precedence over MIT men, and that good reccos mean
something more than transcripts of records. Oh ever hopeful.

Well, darling, I just might do some work today too, besides writing to you.
So good to hear from you, snow or no snow. It just goes to show ya that it
is not spring until its april and anyone who is fooled by a few mild days is
just deluded. Hello deluded. So nuff for the now time

oh yes, by the by, got Howie under a date with Joan Sat night
and ap arently they hit ift off very well as he called her again Sunday.
She sez he is not so lamblike as I, poor sap, believed- they went back to
his apt. after concert and drank and played records and talked, n Howie has
a libido, too altho it profited him little... ha...

for verily I say unto you, he that hath a libido must seek out a fellow-libido, and seek for ye shall find, ye have found,

yr lovin' lib

M.

3 CENTS 3

THOMAS
JEFFERSON
4801-1809

UNITED
STATES
POSTAGE

3 CENTS 3

THOMAS
JEFFERSON
1804-1864

UNITED
STATES
POSTAGE

T-4 Victor Kumin, 31469239
SED, P.O. Box 180,
Santa Fe, New Mexico.

to realise all to well huccum you don't like it too much. The horses are
so lovely, whose horses? Who are the other people in the picture with
you? Do you always look so professional on skis? Snooky, there is something
about you that would look entirely nonchalant were you in an audience with
the Pope. More pictures, baby, I love them and they fill my cranny chez
#46 with light and cheer.

Thanks for Bowles' hammer blow at the greedy. That was a good speech and
he is an honest man but we need a hundred honest men like him. God knows
where we are going.

Right outside this window on the quad there are a half dozen very small
fry on their tricycles making dizzy circles round and round and shouting
with great glee. There is a very little dot of a thing in a blue snowsuit
that probably just began to toddle last week becuz for every step he takes
he sits down once with a very surprised descent and then sturggled back onto
his not very steady pins again. Honey, will you buy me one of those, huh?
But now half the morning has whizzed by and I have nothing to show for it,
so I must away and to the books.

But like phone calls, I hate to say goodbye, darling, (please don't say no,
say maybe)- well, hello, it is a nice day, isn't it? Monring sun, day begun,
dearest one, my but I love you a lot a lot-

Mary

air mail

MAR 18

11 PM

1946

PA.

1946

PA.

T4 Victor Klemm

SEP P. O. Box 180

Santa Fe

n.m.

T-4 Victor Kumin, 31469239
SEO, P.O. Box 180
Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Tuesday

Darling: Just got back from one of the grimmer trips by rail in the history of man from wot was otherwise a very pleasant day. It is midnight and beyond and I am resolved to get up for bkfst 'nhit the books tomorrow for I have become soft, lazy, but it is no matter. If I did not write to you tonight by tomorrow the mood would have changed and I would have forgotten all the entirely worthless things I am starting out to say tonight. On the train over to Springfield, I read-or rather, devoured- Conceived in Liberty. I had gotten pretty well into it before we started and I left it with Pete in p with strict orders to read. I think he will like it as well as we. I agree with you that it is some of the most powerful writing it has been my pleasure to read in a very long time. I was completely transported out of the present and carried back to 1778, and I will not forget the book-nor the quote you wrote me some time ago, for when I came to it I agreed with you that it was the heart of the book and the most significant piece of the whole. It seemed so strange to be riding along at a good clip by rail thru land that was only two centuries ago a wilderness, and a raw country not yet come alive under the torch of man's ambition and his drive. I think Fast teaches a mighty lesson. I do not think I have ever thought of the American Revolution in those terms before, nor considered it a "heritage" in more than the highschool lipservice form. And I love that man's style. I have got to read some more. It was pleasant, too, to watch the New England countryside flash by; it is just beginning to show green in the spring, and it drizzled quite cheerfully all the way. (So you see, I really put my hair up for naught). Pete was at the station, looking bronze from that West Indies sun, not fatter but definitely robust, with a mite less hair, as every time I see him. We immediately sniffed out the nearest respectable bar which happens to reside in the Hotel Kimball and started in-I on CC and he on Scotch. That was about 2:30. At quarter of six we decided it was time to feed. What we talked about in those few hours-God knows, Pete is not the talkative type as you may have gathered from your brief glimpse of him. He is really quite diffident, terribly shy, and very brusque because of

sit very still and introspect. The gal ahead of me with the red hair
was being very thoroughly kissed goodbye by a very thorough young gen-
tleman for the last six minutes before we left the station. The night
was very black and the drizzle had changed to an audible drumming ag-
ainst the glass. A fine night to introspect, dont you agree? A shaky
world, a bumpy road bed, a hazy future, and a mountain or several of
love. God but I am tired of trying to think without you, and I feel
that I am growing more and more inadequate each day. I don't bother to
think very much any more- so un-busy just existing. I have lost the
knack of studying, but I am reading and above all I am in love, which
shouldn't prohibit anything else, now should it?

Well, snooky, new leaf- zu bett, zu books au matin,
zu two feet on the ground for a change, tho for how
long? and all my love always,
May

May

2

Someday, well, someday, you might have a stab at making her see the
light. We have tried once or twice, but we never got too far. Mostly
becuz we don't like to hurt her, and that is what it would amount to.
After all, we are a closed corporation here, and feelings are human
failings.

I never read Saratoga Trunk, but I have read other Edna Ferber and
as a story-teller she aint so very hot. However, look forward to see-
ing your Ingrid, as a matter of fact, Cooper has always been my idea
of what a man should look like, anyway, so it won't be painful. I liked
your extended metaphors about position being everything in life. What
is there in woman that asserts this fundamental schizophrenia- of want-
ing to aggress and then be over-come? But there sure howdy isn't a
woman alive who doesn't like to be overwhelmed, physically, mentally,
morally, at some point. It wouldn't be normalcy if she didn't. I
like to think that we have found out when to roll, altho I suppose we
will do some retakes in the days to come. I was thinking last night com-
ing back on that train that it's really too bad man and woman can't
get completely inside each other. There ought to be some physiological
device that goes with marriage that could perform the feat- so that two
people would think in common and experience in common. I know that would-
not be good, either, because one would surely rule the other most of
the time, but sometimes it makes me feel very lonely that no matter how
close we are now and how close we will be in time future, there will
always be a sphere outside of each other where we must work alone in
our thoughts. There are times when I wish that would never be so, be-
cause as a selfish woman, I want all of you and of your mind and I am
then willing to give up all of mine, too. But I know too that it is
as impossible as it is impractical and as it would be unwise. Besides
being interdependent, we have to be independent, and it all goes toget-
her with being a self-sufficient human being. It makes me think of one
scene from "all kneeling" which was to me as major an irony as can be
found. On their honeymoon on shipboard when they are standing together
at the ship's rail- he is uncomfortable and wants to go in for a smoke;
he is thinking only human physical thoughts, and actually she is capable
of no other ones- but she looks at the sea at night and conjures up some

Yes, even the first cause. And in order to prove this to men, Ivan will go to all lengths, even murder, // If man were entirely rational, he would not be imperfect; he would know the cause and effect for all things and live according to that law alone. If he were not imperfect he would not have invented his gods. And if he did not prefer individual liberty even at the expense of self-content and material well-being, we would all be Catholics and all the Ivans would be Inquisitors. Darling, this is my first love, this creation Ivan and his Devil and his Legend of the Grand Inquisitor.

Thus death to thesis-schmesis, unless you want to argue summoah. I think your critique was terrific and very substantial. I really do think that if we attempted anything together on paper, we might wow them. Even a pulp novelette à la Shulman..

the couplets are superb. I will hold you to the unprinted last one, dammit. I suppose all these last lines will at least give us something to do that night.

And now you shud be asleep by this time. It has been the pleasant hind-part of an afternoon, tho, and the old sun is now just fading behind the spire of St Paul. I did like Herb a lot. He has a quiet knack of app-easing and silencing Aunt Flo all at once.

Thusly, snooky, fini and woof for now. 18 18s squared and then ogged and remultiplied and processed to infinity, et alors- comme je t'amme!!

ooh la
la
la

XXXXXXX ee XXXX

Muy

T-4 Vector Kumin, 31469239
Special Engineer Detachment
P.O. Box 180, Santa Fe,
New Mexico.

T-4 VICTOR KUMIN, 31469239
SED, P.O. BOX 180
SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO

Monday

My darling Bear:

Two pots of honey from you today, one ayem and
one pm, one lovely affirmation ofloff which I read over a hasty
cup 'o cofee chez Daley'd Dirty Drugstore while the remains of
the blustering storm without dripped down from my kerchief onto
the paper and into the cofee. I do know how to spell coffee but
it seems that Oscar is agin it. My fingers are just anything but
nimble which is wot comes of typing four carbons of a 38 page
play in one day, but I hope you will note well the new ribbon.
It doesn't look as new as it might but I rather suspect Macko
has been banging away at it while I was at rehearsal all eventide.
I can't read about how much you love me and drink a cup of coffee
at the same time, or even drink CC, I don't hink, tho I have nev-
er tried it. Both liquids have as their immediate effect a warm
sensation and that coupled with the transports of your pen, well
old bear, it leaves me with Christopher Robin, on the stairs,
halfway between here and there- or there and here, depending on
whether you are half way up or halfway down. At any rate, suspend-
ed-- that is the word that counts. Breathelessly suspended omer
the brew and in the dirty dregs swirl misty pictures of you which
salvage the bitter and turn it to sweet. You send me so many
lovely pictures, I must find something special to do with them,
like a baseboard to tack them all tooo. Prep. I never realised
you had such a very LARGE seat before, snooky, in fact I never
thought it was very large at all. As Mack philosophically re-
marks of her own , therein resides the seat of the emotions...
I meant to ask you Sunday how you liked your new job and what you
were doingg but either there wasn't enough time or I just forgot.
I am also meaning to ask you who are these wimmen in these snow
pictures of you; indigenous, imported, higamous hogamous, mona-
gamous, polygamous?? Hunh? Today, as we have "hinted" above, it
rained. It cleared too, but my bike seat was very wet which is
an attribute immediately transferable from that inanimate object
to my animate one. Isn't that a fancy way of saying nothing? To-

night it is misty and cool and tomorrow no doubt it will go on
raining, for without rain, no green grass, no budding trees, no
crocuses, even. In spring in Cambridge it rains a great deal. We
sang great lusty songs like "A Captial Ship" all the way home
from Agassiz tonight.

Pete called tuhday and I am taking a noon train to Springfield
tomorrow to meet him. I am really looking forward to it; I haven't
spent a whole day with him for many a moon and I will have to
put up my hair tonight to celebrate.

Joanie and I think we can get away sum time Friday and hit
New York that evening, continuing on to Philly on Sat-dy. I don't
know quite what we're going to do with this great holiday coming
up but I guess we'll manage.

Well dolinky, this is mighty short and not nearly sweet enuff,
but today was so much like other days being neither here nor there
but only somewhere in between, that there is little enuff to tell
you, yes, even you. So fades day after day and so drift along
the anxious weeks, somehow more yawning than anxious except on
occasions. Time marches on and there is so much to dream about and
plan for that waiting, believe it or not, is assuming a less pain-
ful face. How are you coming on War and Peace or have you given
up? Have you- uh-done any studying in the last few weeks? The news
was as cheerful today as it has been since the first world war,
and put not your faith in princes, but in UNO. Even the bishops
of Rome invoked their blessing prior to Hunter College session to-
day.

I miss you too, sweetheart. It is a great void, but soon
we will be two people who will never be lonely again. That is all
there is, and all we need to know. I love you, I do, even before
we beginning our love, and even after we breakfast
Day of Judgment. I love you so much, and there is so
little I can do to prove it—
but wait... new world
a coming

MARY LEE MACK CABOT HALL, RADCLIFFE CAMBRIDGE 38, MASS.

March 29, 1946

Dear Vic,

Guess what, the great day has actually arrived, the thesis, is just about finished. Of course, there are millions of things I forgot to say, of course, there are millions of things I said wrong, of course, I hate the labor press-- but it is all done. I really can't quite believe it. If it weren't for the pressing weight of generals and divisionals and two courses for which I have done no work at all, I would be happy. But I shall just have to wait for another month, a little more, before I can go and get happily and stinkily tighter than a coot walking on a twig hung in mid-air between paper machier hangers.

There is one thing only that keeps me from thinking that economics is a stinking field. And that is the wonderful double meanings that can be interpreted into such statements as the curves meet, or margin of willingness, or productivity, and all the rest of them if you leave off the duller rest part of the sentences. I've always thought that it would be a wonderful thing to write a 1066 and All That on economics. Supply and Demand for Curves might be a title. Did Max tell you the wonderful quotation in a very weighty book on money that introduced one chapter: it went "The more there is of Yours, the less there is of mine"-- the marginal comment by some clever Radcliffian was "It's better the second time". I remember that made it possible for me to read the chapter, I never would have been otherwise. I never found another good quote in the darn book though. Honestly, how my mind functions, really it is awful. I should be shot-- well, that wouldn't cure it but then.

Winokur left for Phila. this morning.
But she's probably told you all about that. So
all I have to report as that she's safe and sound,
and I think you xx are crazy to try and time your
wedding by Winokur's cycles-- she'll be so excited
she'll forget all about them. At any rate she
isn't a BF any more, so things are really improving.

I'm afraid the spring weather is a little
much for all of us. I can really see why all the
poets wrote about spring and love in the same
breath--there's something about it that makes you
feel that way--know what I mean? (Am I kidding?)
Actually I think there would be decided advantages
to an invention that enabled each person to live
in a weather world do themselves, one person could
walk around in spring, another in summer, or another
in fall, it really would be rather interesting.
A good case could be made too for an invention that
would enable any couple that wanted to to live in
a world of their own, t'would be much the simplest
solution to the bickering of mankind whether it be
with families or in UNO. Mankind is just not made
to live together. That's all there is to it. And
any one that thinks they can do it in peace and
harmony is nuts--- but that doesn't stop me from
hoping that someday they will.

We (Parsons and I) just had the damndest
interruption. Miss Gerrish just came up, and we
asked her about anew gossip story which turned
out to be that one of the girls had come in a very
very high state with a policeman as an escort last
night. That got us on to a conversation about
drinking - she was telling us stories of when she
got high--- great isn't it, to have a liberal
house mother. Golly, Parsons sat there just about
managing to control herself throughout. I thought
surely she would just burst out laughing. Why
is it that somehow you always assume ( and usually
because it is the truth) that all house mothers
won't know the facts of life. I swear I knew more
at 15 than Miss Rose did at 30. The wonderful
story about her, most typical, is that one day

one of the girls came in with her man and she was
wearing a kerchief (bandanna) that matched his tie.
Miss Rose sees them and asks "How sweet are you
brother and sister?" Well, I suppose they were
soulmates anyway.

Honestly, I did mean to get away from the
birds and the grass and the filthy and the sex. Why
does my mind wander in such mundane avenues-- it
must be from living around Winokur for so long
But then I don't suppose it is very fair to blame
it all on Max--It's equally your fault, first, be-
cause you being way out yonder in the bleak wilds of
New Mexico withhorses meandering about can not satis-
fy the basic needs of the female organs of Miss
Winokur, and second, because you teach her all but
the last lines of dirty limelight. There is one
think I want to know? What do you expect Parsons
and Janey and I to do on your wedding night when
you tell Max the last lines-- I think you ought
to tell them to us in advance, it's all strictly
being kept in the family, but once Max enters the
realm of being a married woman it won't be, so you
see, you really leave us in an awful predicament.
Like a mystery story: How can the last lines and
the first night be resolved to the satisfaction of
the friends? (Actually, this is all just
jealousy, and I do resent you calling Bob a stud--
after all you know what happened to Catherine the
Great, and I will not be put in the same class).

Well, Vic, I really have to go do that
junky ec theory. Besides seeing as how my mind
definitely seems to be on the wrong side of the
railroad tracks tonight due to the lovely summer
night, the only thing that I can possibly do to
prevent you from being in the same fix is to turn
it off.

Don't worry about Maxy, we'll keep on

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

and they only had six weeks together then.

You may be glad to hear that the size of this here wedding
of ours has decreased considerably-- and Pop is the deus ex mach-
ina. He hates fuss and feathers anyway, and he put his foot down
for family only, tho Dolly plans to invite the horde to the cer-
emony and reception and family and out of town friends to the dinner
Curtis Arboretum has been taken over by the Dept of Agriculture,
of all things, which means we'll be married in the city, probably
at the Warwick. Mother is anxious to get the date and the list
settled this week as it takes a good deal of time to engage the
necessary rooms, caterer, have the invites engraved, etc. But she
is getting such a big kick out of it and seems so enthusiastic
about it, that I'm really pleased we're going it this way. So
honey, please send to her a list of whatever friends and their
addresses to whom you would like invitations sent. People like
Bens and Eli and Elaine whose vital statistics I don't know. Mom
will undoubtedly take care of the family and the Boston area, so
you don't hafta worry about that.

I hope (or do I gather) that your new desk job is summat less
dull than perhaps you had supposed. With two wimmen constantly under-
foot, the day should be pleasanter. In time perhaps you can make
your Jim Crow Texaness see the light.. persuasive oratory... which
one is the engaged one and which one is the bright interesting one
and which one is the purty one?

The other day Mom gave me a wonderful baby picture of you
which I treasure, and I have been looking around the house for one
to reciprocate. So far I haven't hit on anything but an unweildy
large shot of me in the age of cork screw curls and innocence with
a big bow in my hair, and that I think is a bit mucho.

Well, Daddy has just come home, and I have just gotten thru
in the kitchen and Fred and Ah are home now too so I'd best head
for the society of the living room au moment.

So darling ends day one of vacation and day one of day three
with Pete and Nat. I can hardly bear to see them cut capers o n
the couch these days, and every time I close my eyes I see nothing
but you, you you. They are a heartening example, tho; I am afraid
we are neither of us as "cute", but god knows we love as muchand
as well and really that is saying a good deal. ..I could never ask
for more than they have. They are the sina qua non of Uncle Sol's
" be considerate of each other". I miss you turrible bad, baby,
bad enuff to want our Juen July and lifetime to be perfect, and well
enuff to be determined to stay on the evenest of keels until then.
Only-- among other things, I would like to curl up on that old sore
legged couch too, in the middle of an afternoon and be close to you.
That is not despair, however, for I will be quite willing to dis-
pense with couches when we are married and it will be quite legal
to disappear above stiar. I think often of our coming back to 152
someday after we are married. I suppose I am quite sentimental about
this house and the room whar I was born in and the bed that I selpt
in before I had thought of you.. well, you know how it is.. and
you know how I love you soooo big!

XXXX
Mat

necessity regard you as an acquaintance on the borderline of strangerhood,
whereas Jerry for instance knows you are flesh and blood, and perhaps
very warm to be beside..

Today I got a look at more loot which is called trousseau and towards
which I am gradually taking the gimme attitude... Pete bought us some
lovely stuff in the Caribbean- a grand mahogany salad bowl and fork and
spoon to match which he delivered with the adequate directions about
waxing it before using and never washing it in hot water- the waxing, I
promptly decided, is your department.. likewise, some pretty and not
pretentious linen table sets- place mats and napkins with cross stitch
embroidery that are hand made but utilitarian at the same time becuz they
are pure linen and will always wash and iron well. I am beginning to
learn a great deal about the gentle art of home making and adopting the
philosophy that five years from now in our own home they will go quite
well. Do you know, we have hardly ever talked about "the own home" dept.,
which comes under themajor heading of gracious living. Right now I admit
I can't see past the first few years together, the getting started and
onto our feet, but there will eventually be a place for linen mats and
salad bowls and monogrammed silver and the etceteras.. do you like that
idea? Can you see yourself in the own home? Say in Uncle Sol's seat on
a decidedly lesser scale??

Dolly has been amassing the lingerie, likewise towards which also I
confess a change of attitude. I cannot quite complain that she has bought
me a dozen slips. It will take care of two, three, years of wear and
that is an asset. Nat and I sat on the floor and went thru all of them
and the frillier things as well and Nat earnestly dissertated on the
desirability of being feminine and tried to make me see the dividends
wearing a frilly nightgown will pay over Pete's old pajamas and so forth.
I suppose I am wrong about this-- but I cannot help feeling that that is
a mild form of deception- if you loved me before and without the furbe-
lows, will you love me any less without them? I have never thought very
much about working to be "attractive" to or for you, I don't know which
it is. I love you with clothes or without, with shave or without, in dung-
arees or tails, and I love you indiscriminately in all those cases. It
has never made a particle of difference to me how you were dressed so
long as you washed your face and I don't see why women should think it
is one-sided. I have never been very vain about things except maybe when
my hair is mussed, and now people expect me to begin to be. This results
in a sort of minor confusion. It is funny-- when Dolly or Nat give me
advice about frills and why wear them, it sounds again as tho you were
that stranger I was talking about before and that this is a necessary
measure one must take. Then I want to tell them that they are all wrong
about you and that they don't understnad it at all, but of course I
don't. I don't object or resent it all, all, so long as I know in my own
mind what is and isn't. It's as if I were to say, Darling I love you in
your silk skivvy shirt with the royal blue monogram so discreetly hand
stitched on the left shoulder... well, that is the way I would feel if
it wer to make any difference to you whether I was wearing a trousseau
nightgown or dr. dentonss.

well, this is silly and uncalled for as well. It all boils down to a gen-
eral objection against the female conception of the man as seeking night-
ingales and jasmine scents - the eternal, strictly secret feminine qual-
ity because he is so entirely male and blindly so. It puts the sexes so
far apart, and surely there is more rapport than that.

And so d'rling, no need to reply; I am just thinking out loud. Now fini
until another day. my dearest Vic, dear god how I love you! and how much
faith hope and trust I have in you- in both of us. I always will, darling.
amen and a kiss-
May

May

kids got married- didn't think she was up to Peter, or had anything to
offer- and now they really adore her. So I kinda think we're in the same
sort of situation, and I know that a year from today, they'll have come
to think you are God. So I go on trying to look at this in the right light,
and see it from the point of view of over-fatuous parents of the bride--
and only sometimes I don't succeed too well.

This eventide we made out the wedding lists, etc. If it is to be the 30th,
it will be a 6 o/c wedding, you I suppose ar expected to wear summer
formal, whatever that is, the ushers likewise, I imagine. Aunt Bea has
offered to put up the bridesmaids, you Mom and Jerry will be here, and
out of town guests will be given the courtesy of a hotel reservation in
town. that's about the best we kin do. We might be able to put up ushers
and young married with helpful relatives, we'll see. Out of twon guests
can no doubt arrange to take a late train back to where they came from or
stay over till the next day. Ushers we hope will be here the night before
for bach dinner and rehearsal tho it is not imperative, cuz we can always
draw them diagrams. They seat peepul and take the hands of the brides-
miads on the way oot. Only two ushers-- did you say Benson and Bob F?

Wedding includes-- 72 famille between both our clans, my own rough estimate of your family included. Mom will supply the details. Only fust cousins, no further. NO ONE ELSE (except out of town guests) at the whole shindig including the dinner. At the ceremony and reception- about 80 friends of the family and of the bride 'n groom. It will be a shade under 200, I figure, in toto. Gruesome??? After a squint at the 45 unknwn initials you sent me today, gulp, I have a feeling it will be 200, no sahdes a-tall. I hope 199 of all of them can't come. Who's anti-soial? At this point, darling, I don't give even a small damn. I wouldn't care if the entire Knights of Columbus attended.

Today's itinerary- woke up when Nat shoved your letter under my nose about
tennish. Whooshed off to the dressmakers to get a fitting on the navy
suit. Had a lucky find at what from now on will be my pet store and bought
three pairs of shoes- brown 'n whites, navy, and black patent leather.

Dashed in town, bought a NYLON two way stretch girdle (size small- hah!)
and three white bras. Bought a white blouse, a pink blouse, an aqua blouse.
Went to look in bridal salons, saw absolument nothing in Bonwits under
415 dollars and that wasn't even pretty. Dolly had a wonderful time. Met
Dan at North Philly, came home, tried on a dozen slips to make sure they
fit, turned up a couple of hems. Family dinner- and wedding lists. Not a
bad day for accomplishments, if hese things come under the heading of
accomplishments- some times I wonder.

I wish very very much that you would do me a big favor and write me your
meas'ments.. never mind the bust size, but shirt, sox, belt, suit, etc-
cuz as white shirts appear and argyles flash by and do you like suspenders
or belts I would like to indulge every now and then in augmenting your
non-existent wardrobe. Please, honey, and what size pjs, too? I don't say
you'll get morethan a pair of garters, but since evrything is at such a
premium these days, I hate to pass scarce articles by and it will save you
the trouble of chasing round fur some things.

Well snooky, I love you very much, I'm not a worry-wart, everythin g will
be just dandy; having Joan here is a definite pleasure- she sends you her
love- and I love you every second. I wish this damn wedding were over. Ev-
eryone puts the stress on the wrong things, and not enuff on compatibility,
real estate agents, and a hundred of these- XXXXXXXXXXXX X X

certainly captured the delusions of grandeur of the 58th St. punk who was Studs-- it's so much as Eliot said- not with a bang, but a whimper-life trickles out into the street, energy is wasted, the mind grows corrupt and sickens. I guess tonight is count our lucky stars night.. we have them, a whole galaxy's worth.

Well, Dan has closed up shop after her letter to KC and since I kept her up most of last night pounding away to you, I can't very well do it again. I have the dawnedest insomnia around here- always sleep like a top at school, but there are too many ghosts in this room for me ..

Could rave about the little Pattycake for several pages, were there time. She is a very cute little puddin, and pretty as a picture- blond and blue eyed and a real person now. She's good as gold, such fun to play with. She stands now, holding on with only one hand, and toys with the idea of taking that first step alone, but I think it will be another month or so before she really does. She'll be a year old next month- and Fred and Ah will be married five years come April 30th. It's a long long trail- I remember the day they were married so clearly. And it doesn't seem like five years- I don't think I've done five years worth of growing up since then.

end of cigarette, end of letter, but no end of love. And Sunday I'll be talking to you, darling, that's only day after day after tomorrow. By the way, twill hafta be the 29th, sted of the 30th, cuz the Warwick is taken for the 30th. Dear god, I feel like a patient cow, complying to dates, to fuss and feathers, pomp and circumstance, hearts and flowers-- but it's you, you, you at the end of it all, and I wouldn't get married for nobody else. One thing tho, I'll never do it again- so you'd better be sure it takes this time.

Love and kisses, darling, and one for the tip of your nose..

May

have the entire thing at one of the hotels in town- either the Ritz
or the Warwick. Reception is what we have to do after the I do, wi th
drinks and people milling round saying congratulations and us saying
thank you so much. It takes about an hour. Could you stood it?? Then
dinnah is announced and polite guests who are not invited to that,
their quietuses take. Den we go eet. There will be a good deal of
carousing and ballyhoo and dinner will probably take another hour.
After dinner we wander around for just a little while, then we go
get dressed, and then we come back and say goodbye and some wise guy,
if I know Cabot Hall, will manage to locate either our bags or the
car and there will be a practical joke or six... Voila-- about three
hours in all. I'm afraid, honey, it will be "big" and no doubt lush,
but I trust it will be in bonne gout and I not only expect we'll
put up with it, but will probably have a good time besides. We ought
to, don't you think? You're really missing the miserere, the plans
and the changes and confusions. Actually, all we have to do is be
there at the right time and go thru the proper motions. I meant to
tell you if I haven't before, that you can wear your uniform insted
of summer formal if you'd like. Feel free to do whichever you prefer
and no one will say boo to you.

Dolly says to tell you that she can wait until the near-end of
April for a definite date, if you'd like to wait till then 'n see.
Well, we can talk about it Sunday.

I'm afraid, darling, I'm all wrote out tonight, and I did want
to get a letter off to Janie. So fergive, sweet, and keep swishing
the days away. I'll give you 70 more days-- can't even get evicted
in that length of time!

I love you.

May