Mr Hughes

Enclosed find selected chapters from my forth coming novel--
BRONZEVILLE SAGA. A story of an Ex GI in post war Bronzeville.
The object of the novel is to let the reader feel, see and know
what goes on in it. I selected four chapters(1) I did not wish
you to feel that you had a whole book on your hands to read unless
you ask for it. (22) I think that you can get enough of an idea
about what goes from these chapters.

PS The chapter marked CHICAGO TEMPO has another half that goes
with it; concerning a Boogie Jam Session.

Ziff Davis Publishing wishes to look it over for me. However, I
originally had the idea of publishing it on my own. However, I
know nothing of the publishing business.

Enclosed find SAE. and retrain postage money.

criticisms by Nate White

MATTER OF PUNCTUATION.

BAD DIALOGUE CONSTRUCTION- See first paragraph P. 6, P. 8

TECHNICALLY NOT SET UP RIGHT: Paragraphs should be indented five spaces.

Has bad habit of enclosing certain colloquilisms in quotes.

Obviously slanted toward Negro reading public. Too many names and
places referred to which are unfamiliar to general reader.

DIALOGUE TOO LONG. STATIC. DOES NOT MOVE OR ADVANCE STORY LINE.

WORDS USED TOO OFTEN: BEIGE,

HAREXXMX COPY NOT CORRECTED CAREFULLY.

DIALOGUE ARTIFICIAL: MIXTURE OF SLANG AND CULTURED VOCABULARY

It wouldn't be like
Christmas
If we couldn't get in touch
To find extend the
Season's Greetings
So those we like
So much

A very
MERRY CHRISTMAS
and all
Best Wishes
for a
Happy New Year

B

15-109-46
MADE IN U.S.A.