1.

MR. WASSERMAN, MR. FELT, DANNY, MR. SCHLOSSER, CHRISTIANS,
JEWS AND ALSO THE ARAB WHO IS NEGOTIATING TO BUY THIS HOTEL.

IT IS A PRIVILEGE TO BE HONORED BY A GROUP BASED ON THE
PRINCIPLE OF COMPLETE EQUALITY BETWEEN RELIGIONS. THAT IS WHY I
WANT JUST TO MAKE SURE: CAN YOU CHRISTIANS IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM
HEAR ME?

I AM, OF COURSE, DEEPLY HONORED TO RECEIVE THE HUMANITARIAN
AWARD OF THIS DISTINGUISHED ORGANIZATION. WHAT MY STAFF THINKS OF
YOUR JUDGMENT IS ANOTHER MATTER; IT CANNOT BE REPEATED IN MIXED
COMPANY. THEY CONSOLE THEMSELVES THAT THIS IS THE TOWN OF MAKE
BELIEVE AND SUGGEST THAT IF LEW CAN BRING THIS OFF HE CAN NEXT
DEVOTE HIMSELF TO REHABILITATING IDI AMIN.

BUT I WILL NOT LET SMALL MINDS DETER ME FROM ENJOYING AN
OCCASION WHICH HAS ASSEMBLED SO MANY OF MY FRIENDS. I LEFT WASHINGTON
FOR IT DESPITE THE FACT THAT THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL TIME OF YEAR. THE
LEAVES ARE TURNING -- ALMOST AS FAST AS BERT LANCE'S FRIENDS.

2.

[Y]

PEOPLE ARE ASKING ME IF I MISS ALL THE POWER, ALL THE TRAPPINGS AND ATMOSPHERE OF PUBLIC OFFICE. MY ANSWER IS "ABSOLUTELY NOT."
I MADE THAT POINT TO MY ASSISTANT, KNEELING YESTERDAY MORNING AS THEY AT OUR REGULAR MORNING STAFF MEETING.
BEFORE ME

AS YOU MAY KNOW I AM WRITING A BOOK. IT DEALS WITH THE STORY OF THE STRUGGLE FOR POWER IN HIGH PLACES. AND THAT IS AFTER ONLY SIX MONTHS AT NBC.

I FIRST ATTEMPTED TO EMULATE THE DISTINGUISHED AUTHOR OF "ROOTS."
BUT I DID NOT GO SO FAR BACK AS MR. HALEY. I QUIT WHEN I WAS AHEAD--
THAT IS WHEN I HAD ESTABLISHED TO MY SATISFACTION THAT I WAS A DIRECT
DESCENDANT OF DISRAELI.

SO, I WENT BACK TO MY MEMOIRS. PEOPLE TEND TO ASK ME; "WOULD YOU DO IT OVER AGAIN?" THE ANSWER IS: "YES, I WOULD DO IT OVER AGAIN."
MY TROUBLE IS THAT NOBODY HAS ASKED ME.

IF THERE IS ONE REGRET, IT CONCERNS THE ARDUOUS EFFORTS TO CREATE A BUFFER ZONE BETWEEN ISRAEL AND EGYPT IN THE SINAI DESERT. IT TOOK YEARS OF PAINFUL NEGOTIATIONS. I COULD HAVE SAVED EVERYBODY A LOT OF TROUBLE IF I HAD FOLLOWED MY FIRST INSTINCT -- PARTED THE RED SEA AND BE DONE WITH IT.