VIDEO

BALL (CONT)

Letter from Hazlitt -- just in on the packet

MONTGOMERY

Wot does that old weasel want?

BALL

(ANGRY) I will _not_ have it Mr. Mate, I will _not_
have it! Disrespect for the firm amounts to
insuborniation, and I intend to hear no more of it!

GLENCANNON

Then I advise ye to stop up yere ears, Captain Ball.

BALL

(WHIRLING ON HIM) Sir --!

GLENCANNON

What's in auld Hazlitt's letter?

BALL

Eh? Letter? Oh, yes! (PUTTING ON HIS GLASSES)
Very important. Wants it brought to the attention
of all concerned. (SUMMARIZING IT) Sir John Castle
has just about completed negotiations with
MacKenzie Duggan -- we're about to secure his
shipping charter -- exclusively -- and I don't need
to tell you what that'll mean to us!

GLENCANNON

(DREAMILY) Aye, it'll be the closest thing to
Heaven we'll ever see. A shipload o' nothin' but
bottles and bottles o' Duggan's Dew o' Kirkintilloch

-20-

AUDIO

VIDEO

AUDIO

BALL

(FURIOUS) If I hear of you touching one drop,
Mr. Glencannon -- one drop -- I'll clap you in irons

GLENCANNON

What, nae e'en for occasional medicinal purposes?

BALL

For any reason whatever!

MONTGOMERY

But since we've not yet got the charter -- or the cargo, why wyste your breath.

BALL

Eh? Oh, yes, of course. To continue-- (AFTER A GLARE AT GLENCANNON) As I say, the negotiations are all but completed -- the next day or two should see the result--but here's what Hazlitt wants to impress on us. (PORTENTOUSLY) MacKenzie Duggan's here in Monte Carlo.

GLENCANNON

Is he, the noo?

BALL

He is the noo. I mean, he is! And he might just take it into his head to pay the Inchcliffe a visit.
Mr. Hazlitt wants us to make sure we're shipshape and on our good behavior, -- just in case.

-21-

VIDEO

GLENCANNON

And what would the mon be doin' in this swundlin'
town?

MONTGOMERY

(SNIFFING) Huh. Tykin' all the ready carsh out
o' the plyce, that's wot 'e's doin'. It's all
they talk abaht on shore these dyes. Twahce a
year MacKenzie Duggan comes to Monte, and each tahm
they've almost got to close down the casino ahfter
'e's gone. 'E's a gamblin' fool, and 'e carn't
lose, they sye.

BALL

Well, he that as it may, Mr. Montgomery, remember
what I've just told you. If Mr. Duggan chooses to
come aboard--

GLENCANNON

(BLANDLY) Dinna ye worry aboot it, Captain Ball.
If MacKenzie Duggan comes aboard, I'll exercise me
warmth and personality on the guid man, and he'll
be willin' to affix his signature to the first
dotted line that comes his way.

AUDIO

-22-

VIDEO

AUDIO

BALL:

Mr. Glencannon, in the event that Mr. Duggan _does_ come aboard, I intend to secure _you_ aloft - and well out of harm's way. (TURNING TO MONTGOMERY) Come out on deck, Mr. Montgomery - we've got to do something about the coal dust - it's covering everything. Maybe if we brought her about into the wind -

(HE AND MONTGOMERY GO OUT. MR. GLENCANNON SITS BACKDOWN, PRODUCES THE TOP, AND PROCEEDS TO FILE SOME OF THE EXCESS SOLDER FROM THE JOINT)

GLENCANNON:

I said to the lassie, pray gie me a smile
Yo-ho- blow the mon doon -
I've a kit-bag o' treesure thot's weel
worth yere while,
Gie me some time - (CHUCKLING) Ho-ho,
we'll soon see what hoppens when the
swindling town of Monte Carlo tries to
diddle with the austere science o'
physics.
(HE BENDS TO HIS WORK).

CS THE HATCH.

-23-

VIDEO

MACKENZIE DUGGAN STORMS INTO THE SALOON.
HE IS WEARING AN EXTREMELY NATTY
YACHTING COSTUME, UNFORTUNATELY SOMEWHAT
SOILED WITH SOOT AT THE MOMENT. HE
STRIDES STRAIGHT TO GLENCANNON AT THE
TABLE.

DUGGAN:

It's got to stop! Do you hear me, it's
got to stop.

HE SLAMS A LARGE FIST ON THE TABLE,
CAUSING A NUMBER OF THE TOOLS TO FALL
TO THE DECK. GLENCANNON GRABS AT A
FEW OF THE FLYING ONES, AND STARES UP
ANGRILY AT DUGGAN.

GLENCANNON:

Aye, stop it must. (RISING) If it
doesna' stop at once, ye uncouth boor,
ye'll collide wi' something solid. What
do you mean by intrudin' in me private
study?

DUGGAN:

(LIVID) Your blasted coal dust! Look
at me! And look at my yacht! (HE
POINTS OUT THE PORTHOLE) Black! Jet
black! Inside and out! Coal dust, blast
you, coal dust.

AUDIO

-24-

VIDEO

AUDIO

GLENCANNON:

(CALMLY) Aye, coal dust, coal dust,
indeed. Pairhops I should explain it's
because we're takin' on coal, which
rarely gives off dondruff! If we'd
only a cargo o' hacksaws, noo, I foncy
we'd be stifled by the sawdust or
pairhops have hacking coughs, whuch is
a pun, haw, haw. Ostriches, on the other
hond, would no doubt yield us feather
dusters. The point is, ye odious auld
blunty, what in blazes do ye come
snirtling to me aboot it, for?

DUGGAN:

(BAWLING) Because it's got to stop!

(SNATCHING OFF HIS CAP AND SHOWING THE
SMUDGE ON IT) There! Look at that!

GLENCANNON TAKES THE CAP DELICATELY
BETWEEN THUMB AND FOREFINGER AND STUDIES
IT.

GLENCANNON:

A-weel, if ye mean this dark spot here,
'tis nowt but a blemish. Losh, my guid
mon, I've a mole that's twice the size
o' this on me -

-25-

VIDEO

AUDIO

DUGGAN:

Blast you, and your mole! My new cap's ruined! Ruined!

GLENCANNON:

Weel, in that case, ye'll no more be wanting it. AND HE SCALES THE CAP THROUGH THE PORTHOLE.

But noo, Captain Snooty-off-the-Yacht - (HIS RIGHT FIST APPEARS FROM HIS JACKET POCKET, WITH BRASS KNUCKLES AFFIXED)

I observe another streak o'soot on the point o' yere chin, so I'll just proceed to dust it off for ye.

AND HE SWINGS, CATCHING MACKENZIE DUGGAN A GOOD ONE OVER THE EYE.

DUGGAN:

(STAGGERING BACK)

Vandal, ruffian, thug. You've not heard the last of this, by gad. I'll - HE FALLS NEATLY INTO THE ARMS OF CAPTAIN BALL, WHO IS JUST ENTERING HASTILY, FOLLOWED BY MR. MONTGOMERY.

-26-

VIDEO

AUDIO

**BALL:**
Mr. Glencannon, I - good Heavens!

**MONTGOMERY:**
Blimey!

**BALL:**
Mr. Glencannon, what is the meaning of--?

**GLENCANNON:**
(CHEERFULLY) Dinna concern yeresel',
Captain Ball. I've just noo concluded
a wee disagreement wi' the owner o' that
yacht across the way.

**BALL:**
That yacht? (APPALLED) Good Heavens!
MacKenzie Duggan.

**DUGGAN:**
(STRUGGLING UPRIGHT) Correct! Mackenzie
Duggan! (TO BALL) Are you the master
of this vessel?

**BALL:**
(QUIVERING) I am, Mr. Duggan, sir, and
I want it clearly understood that -

-27-

VIDEO

AUDIO

**DUGGAN:**

(RAGING) Well, Captain, may I say that
after the manner in which your owners
have been attempting to secure my shipping
charter, I can't say I'm surprised to
have one of its officers insult and
attack me. However -

**BALL:**

Mr. Duggan please -!

**DUGGAN:**

However, sir, I am not a man to employ
half measures with a firm employing thugs
and *bravi*, and I intend to carry this
matter to its conclusion with all the
resources at my command - which I need
not remind you are considerable. Tell
that to Sir John Castle, sir.

**BALL:**

(PLEADING) Mr. Duggan, sir -!

**DUGGAN:**

Good day, gentlemen.

(HE STAMPS OUT)

**MONTGOMERY:**

Blimey, there goes the charter.

-28-

VIDEO

AUDIO

BALL:

(WHIRLING ON GLENCANNON) Mr. Glencannon-

GLENCANNON:

(SADLY AND HUMBLY) So that was Mr.

MacKenzie Duggan, was it? I thought
I detected a wee trace of a burr in his
accent.

SHAKING HIS HEAD SADLY, HE SITS DOWN AT
THE TABLE, AS CAPT. BALL AND MR.

MONTGOMERY GLARE BALEFULLY AT HIM.

FADE OUT

END OF PART I

-29-

VIDEO

AUDIO

MR. GLENCANNON TAKES ALL

PART TWO

FADE IN:
"THE POMEGRANATE."

DISCOVERED ARE THE SAME PERSONS PRESENT IN THE PUB AS IN THE FIRST SCENE. LAURA IS JUST DRAWING ANOTHER GLASS OF "MILD AND BITTER" FOR VIRGIL HAZLITT. SHE SLIDES IT ACROSS THE BAR TO HIM.

LAURA:

(SADLY) Well, I never, Mr. 'Azlitt, I just never.

HAZLITT:

(TAKING THE GLASS) We all of us never,
Miss McFidd. Captain Ball never, Sir
John Castle never, and I never. And,
what's more, ma'am, never again.

HE TAKES A GULP OF BEER.

Being merely the general manager of
Clifford, Castle and Company, I'm
naturally in no position to take any
steps beyond paying off Glancannon
and forbidding him to set foot aboard
a Castle ship again - but if I was on
the Board of Trade, why, I'd have Colin
Glancannon's ticket so fast the
friction it'd make coming out of his
pocket would set half of London to
burning again.

-30-

VIDEO

AUDIO

LAURA:

(STARING) Coo, you 'ave got the wind up,
'aven't you? Couldn't Sir John, or Captain
Ball, or somebody, 'ave spoke a word to
MacKenzie Duggan, and explained to 'im
that--?

HAZLITT:

My dear girl, don't you suppose we made the
attempt? The moment we got the letter from
Duggan saying he was planning some sort of
legal action against us, I immediately
wired Captain Ball giving him specific
instructions.

LAURA:

And were they carried out?

HAZLITT:

(BITTERLY) Carried out, Miss McFidd,
carried out? I should say they were
carried out -- in spades!

DOLLY IN FOR CU
HAZLITT, AND THE
EXPRESSION OF WOE ON
HIS FACE.

DISSOLVE TO:
THE SALOON OF THE
INCHCLIFFE CASTLE.

CAPTAIN BALL, MR.
MONTGOMERY AND MR.
GLENCANNON ARE
GATHERED IN A TIGHT
KNOT, STUDYING A
TELEGRAM HELD BY
CAPTAIN BALL.

-31-

VIDEO

BALL:

(READING WIRE) "Mr. MacKenzie Duggan
complains insults, indignities, bodily
assault from officer your ship, plans
drastic legal action."

AUDIO

MONTGOMERY:

(BREATHILY) Coo and gor blimey! 'E's aht to
bryke us nah! Jyled we'll be, the lot of us!

BALL:

Sh-h! (CONTINUING) "Whoever did this has
jeopardized our chances for important
charter and will be sacked on return to
London."

GLENCANNON:

(FURIOUS) Socked, is it? Socked for seekin'
to presairve the sovereignty of a British
bottom!

BALL:

(TESTILY) Will you be still! (READING ON)
"If possible contact Mr. Duggan in person,
explain situation as best you can, and
notify at once of results. Signed
Hazlitt." (LOOKING UP AT GLENCANNON)
Well, Mr. Glencannon -- there it is.
Thanks to you, our owners are now facing a
lawsuit by Duggan, and might have to go
into receivership!

-32-

VIDEO

AUDIO

GLENCANNON:

Receivership? (HE GUFFAWS) Weel, noo,
Captain; wi'out wishin' to exercise undue
levity on this solemn occasion, I dinna
think it remiss o'me to remark thot if
Clifford and Castle go into receivership
it'll be the first ship they've gone into
that isna' mouldin' on the inside, and
rottin' on the outside, and generally a
menace to pooblic sannitation and
navagation!

BALL:

(BOILING) Mister Glencannon, I've had all I
can stomach of you! I'd clap you into irons
if it weren't for the fact that there's
nobody else this side of the Bougainville
city limits who can coax four and a half
knots out of these blasted engines!

GLENCANNON:

(HIS EYES GLINTING BALEFULLY) Well, noo,
Captain; since yere pleased to put it so
bluntly, I'll put it bluntly reet back a'
ye: you nor Hazlitt canna sack me --
because I've just resigned! So you can try
turnin' over the engines yersel'.

(MORE)

-33-

VIDEO

**DUGGAN:**
(GLOOMILY) Yes, fourteen thousand francs.

**BARTENDER:**
M'sieu lost?

**DUGGAN:**
(VIOLENTLY) M'sieu won! M'sieu can't lose!
Here, Nice, Cannes - all over the world!
I can't lose! It's a plot!

**BARTENDER:**
(NODDING SADLY) Oui, M'sieu.

**DUGGAN:**
Business and gambling, business and gambling -- my whole life, the only things I love -- and all the spice is going out of them! Business never better -- and gambling -- all I can do is win, win, win! (HE SIGHS A DREADFUL SIGH) What a bore! (GLARING AT THE BARTENDER) I haven't even had to deal with a dissatisfied customer in two years! I tell you --

**GLENCANNON:**
(OFF-SCREEN) Weel, ye can say auld lang syne to the guid auld days, Mr. MacKenzie Duggan, for ye've a vurra dissatisfied customer waitin' at yere elbow!

AUDIO

-35-

VIDEO

DUGGAN WHIRLS AROUND.

PULL OUT FOR FS.
GLENCANNON HAS ENTERED,
AND IS STANDING BEHIND
DUGGAN.

GLENCANNON QUIETLY
REMOVES A HAND FROM
HIS POCKET, CLOTHED
IN ITS BRASS KNUCKLES.

HE MOVES AWAY QUICKLY.
GLENCANNON PICKS UP
DUGGAN'S BOTTLE, POURS
A DOLLOP INTO A GLASS,
DOWNS IT WITH A LORDLY
GESTURE, AND
CONTEMPTUOUSLY THROWS
A SIXPENCE ON THE
TABLE.

AUDIO

GLENCANNON:

The name is Glencannon, Muster Distiller,
and I strongly advise ye no' to raise an
uproar, for t'will avail ye nowt!

DUGGAN:

(REDDENING) How dare you come in here and --?

(TURNING TO THE BARTENDER) Waiter --!

GLENCANNON:

(QUIETLY TO THE BARTENDER) If ye've no
coostomers to wait on the noo, I'd
suggest ye busy yersel wi' the washin' o'
glasses -- if there are any still in one
piece when I've finished here.

BARTENDER:

(WIDE-EYED) Oui, M'sieu!

-36-

VIDEO

GLENCANNON:

There! Take yere grubby sixpence, ye
cotlandish mosh boiler. 'Tis the last
bawbee ye'll ever get oot o' the best, most
steadfast customer ye e'er had!

DUGGAN:

(PURPLE WITH RAGE) How dare you come
bursting in here like this? Why, you
scoundrel, I've half a mind to --

GLENCANNON:

To what? Ye've already got me sacked oot o'
a job I've held wí' honor and distinction
for years! And there's one other thing
ye've done, too!

DUGGAN:

I have? What?

GLENCANNON:

From a quart-a-day friend ye've made a
no-quarter enemy, Muster Duggan! I give ye
my word that in every last barroom in the
world's four corners I'll spread the news
o' what an ungrate ye are!

DUGGAN:

Now, see here --!

AUDIO

-37-

VIDEO

AUDIO

GLENCANNON:

Aye, I'll tell them in Pandanus Charlie's in Kalong Betok! I'll cry yere shame in the Dingo at Marseels! When I speak my piece in Claude's in Leeverpool yere ears will sizzle like frying liver, and when I step up to the bar in The Captain's in Shonghai and sing oot, "Give me a drink o' anything but Duggan's Dirty Dogwash," and then explain why, weel, perhaps then --

DUGGAN:

(IN ALTERED TONES) Mr. Glencannon -- please!
(HE IS SILENT FOR A MOMENT, TRYING TO REGAIN CONTROL OF HIMSELF)

Mr. Glencannon -- I've built my entire business on -- on "good will," on "the customer is always right." You could do me damage -- irreparable damage with the uncompromising attitude. Why -- why -- Claude's in Liverpool is one of our best accounts, and The Captain's in Shanghai buys over a thousand cases annually.

GLENCANNON:

(GRIMLY) I think I can promise ye a soobstantial reduction within the next six months.

-38-

VIDEO

AUDIO

DUGGAN:

(BEGINNING TO SWEAT) Mr. Glencannon,
perhaps I was a bit hasty. Bad temper, and
all, dreadfully sorry. Comes of this
miserable luck I've been having at the
tables. (GULPING) Mr. Glencannon, I'll see
you get your job back, how's that? I'll
wire your owners in London, and if they
don't reinstate you, I'll put 'em out of
business, by Gad! How's that?

GLENCANNON:

(THAWING) A-weel--

DUGGAN:

(SHAKING HIS HAND) Let bygones be bygones,
sir. Good Heavens, I haven't had a
dissatisfied customer in years: I won't
have my record broken, I won't.

GLENCANNON:

As lang as yere willing to do the richt
thing, sir, I -- I -- weel, Mr. Duggan,
perhaps I was a wee bit hasty, myself.

DUGGAN:

(HEARTILY) There! That's the spirit!
(FILLING GLASSES) And we'll just have a
drop on it, eh?

-39-

VIDEO

AUDIO

GLENCANNON:

(LICKING HIS LIPS) I willna say nae.

DUGGAN:

Of course not! Put and take, eh, Mr.
Glencannon? That's the way to get along
in the world -- put and take.

GLENCANNON:

(A FLICKER OF AN IDEA IN HIS EYES) Aye, as
ye say, sir -- put and take.

DUGGAN:

(HANDING HIM GLASS) Now. And--er--ha! ha!--
please take back your six-pence, eh?
(HE PICKS IT UP)

GLENCANNON:

(REACHING FOR IT) It wouldna be
gentlemanly o' me to refuse a drink on
the house when it's offered. Like you say,
Mr. Duggan -- put and take, aye.

(THEN HE STOPS, THERE IS A GLINT IN HIS EYE,
AND FROM HIS POCKET HE REMOVES THE LITTLE
TOP. HE CHUCKLES CASUALLY)

Or perhaps, just in the interests o'
healthful amusement and all around
guid-fellowship, ye'd care to spin me for i'?

-40-

VIDEO

DUGGAN'S HAND COMES OUT
OF HIS POCKET, CLUTCHING
A HANDFUL OF COINS AND
NOTES. THEY PREPARE TO
GAMBLE.

DISSOLVE TO:
SALOON OF THE INCHCLIFFE
CASTLE.

CAPT. BALL STANDS ALONE IN
THE SALOON, GLOOMILY
STARING OUT OF THE
PORTHOLE. MR.
MONTGOMERY RUSHES IN,
BREATHLESS.

AUDIO

DUGGAN:

(BEAMING) Right-o, sportsman! A man after my
own heart! I couldn't accept your sixpence
as payment -- but winning it from you --
well, that's another matter entirely.

GLENCANNON:

(BEAMING EVEN MORE BRIGHTLY) A-well, Mr.
Duggan, ye've no exocktly won it yet.

BALL:

(TURNING) Well, Mr. Montgomery?

MONTGOMERY:

Lumme, sir, it's worse than we thought?

BALL:

(BLANCHING) Bless my soul, he's murdered
Duggan!

-41-

VIDEO

AUDIO

MONTGOMERY:

No, 'e didn't, Captain. 'E's gambling with
him!

BALL:

Gambling? Glencannon and Duggan? Bless my
soul!

MONTGOMERY:

And that ain't the worst of it!

BALL:

Well, for Heaven's sake, Mr. Montgomery,
do _get_ to the worst of it!

MONTGOMERY:

They're doing it with that loaded top o'
Glencannon's!

BALL:

_Bless my soul!_

MONTGOMERY:

Aye, and bless our necks, too!

BALL:

(DECISIVELY) Mr. Montgomery, get hold of the
second, have him get up steam immediately.
I'm going over to the Casino and bring
Glencannon back, myself -- bodily, if
necessary.

(MORE)

-42-

VIDEO

AUDIO

BALL: (CONT)

And if that doesn't succeed, then we'll
sail without him! We're leaving Monte Carlo
tonight!

MONTGOMERY:

Yes, sir! (HE EXITS, BAWLING) Ho, Mr.
Swayles! Lay up to the bridge on the
double!

(MOVE IN FOR CU CAPTAIN BALL)

BALL:

(IN THE DEPTHS OF CONFUSION AND DESPAIR)

Bless my soul!

DISSOLVE TO:
"THE POMEGRANATE."

LAURA AND HAZLITT ON
EITHER SIDE OF THE BAR,
AS BEFORE. HAZLITT'S
BEER GLASS IS EMPTY
AGAIN.

LAUPA:

(BREATHILY) Bless my soul! (EXCITED) Well,
Mr. 'Azlitt, wot 'appened, then? Did
Captain Ball bring Mr. Glencannon back
with him, or is 'e still --

HAZLITT:

(GRIMLY) We'll have the answer to that and
numerous other burning queries directly
Captain Ball arrives, which -- (CONSULTING
HIS WATCH) -- should be just about now, I
believe.
-43-

VIDEO

CAPTAIN BALL ENTERS
FROM THE STREET. HE
IS CARRYING A BATTERED
ATTACHE CASE.

AUDIO

HAZLITT:

Ah -- here we are now.

(HAZLITT MOVES TO MEET BALL)

Happy landings, I hope, Captain. All secure
and shipshape?

BALL:

Good evening, Mr. Hazlitt. Good evening,
Laura. A small whisky, if you please.

LAURA:

Yes, sir. Mrs. Ball called. She's wytin'
'ome for you.

BALL:

Thank you. (HANDING ATTACHE CASE TO HAZLITT)
There you are, Mr. Hazlitt. Log, invoices,
requisitions --

HAZLITT:

(ANXIOUSLY) Never mind that, Captain. What
about -- about -- it?

LAURA:

(CHEERFULLY, CHOOSING A BOTTLE) Duggan's,
Captain?

-44-

VIDEO

AUDIO

BALL:

(STARTING VIOLENTLY) Duggan's?

HAZLITT:

Yes, Duggan, what about him? What
happened? For Heaven's sake, tell me! Did
Glencannon--? Where is Mr. Glencannon?

GLENCANNON ENTERS
BRISKLY AND BRIGHTLY,
JUST IN TIME TO HEAR
HAZLITT'S QUESTION.

GLENCANNON:

Aye, Glencannon, Glencannon! 'T's as it
should be -- the name o' Glencannon on
everybody's lips. (TO LAURA) Ah, the fair
McFidd; Would it be trouble for ye to reach
for that bottle o' Duggan's Dew o'
Kirkintolloch whuch I see richt behind ye,
lass? I'm a mon with a thurst!

HAZLITT:

(BOOMING) Mister Glencannon!

HE IS ABOUT TO CASTIGATE
HIM, BUT BEFORE HE CAN
CONTINUE, MACKENZIE
DUGGAN RUSHES INTO THE
POMEGRANATE.

DUGGAN:

(PLEADING) Mister Glencannon!

-45-

VIDEO

AUDIO

HAZLITT:

(ASTOUNDED) MacKenzie Duggan! (TO BALL)

What in the world--?

BALL:

(GRIMLY) He followed us from Monte Carlo!

HAZLITT:

(TREMBLING) Good Heavens, that bad?

GLENCANNON:

(TURNING TO DUGGAN) Muster Duggan, I'm
exercisin' the greatest patience wi' you,
but unless you stop followin' me around
London --

DUGGAN:

But you can't stop now, man! You've won a
hundred and fifty pounds from me! I demand
the opportunity to recoup!

HAZLITT:

(APPALLED; TO BALL) I must take a hand in
this. (HE APPROACHES DUGGAN, DIFFIDENTLY)
Er -- a -- pleasant day. Er -- I've taken
the liberty --

GLENCANNON:

(TAKING DRINK FROM LAURA) Mr. Duggan, I've
told ye I hae no more time for gombling.
I'm a vurra busy mon.

-46-

VIDEO

DUGGAN:

I'm a busy man, too, Glencannon! I'm also a
lucky man. I never lose, do you understand,
never! Ask them at Cannes, ask them at
Monte! "Lucky Duggan," they call me!

HAZLITT:

(TRYING TO EDGE IN) Err-ah--Mr. Duggan, I
believe? Permit me, Virgil Hazlitt, general
manager for --

GLENCANNON:

Ye hae my sympathy, Mr. Duggan. It virra
much seems to me as though yere luck were
out.

DUGGAN:

(FRANTIC) You mustn't say that! My luck
can't be out! Why, blast you, man, my
luck's my symbol of success! If my
gambling luck's gone, then my business luck's
gone too! You've got to let me try to get
it back!

GLENCANNON:

When I'm in London me duties as Chief
Engineer take up all me time. It's only
when we're lying over in some foreign port
that I've the leisure for games.

AUDIO

-47-

VIDEO

AUDIO

DUGGAN:

(EAGERLY) When will you be in Glasgow, then?

HAZLITT:

(STILL TRYING TO PUSH IN) Mr. Duggan, I understand that you were subjected to a --

DUGGAN:

(SNARLING) Shut up, you! (TO GLENCANNON)
When will you be in Glasgow! I'll win it
back when you get to Glasgow!

GLENCANNON:

Glasgow? I dinna go to Glasgow ever, Mr. Duggan, because the owners hae ne'er been able to secure a charter there. O'coorse, if we had a charter in Glasgow --

DUGGAN:

A charter? A charter will bring you to
Glasgow? All right, then! My contract
with the Royal Victoria line expires on
the fifteenth. I'll turn all of my
business over to Clifford and Castle. They
can handle my cargoes exclusively!

(SHAKING A FINGER AT GLENCANNON)
Then you've got no excuse!

-48-

VIDEO

AUDIO

HAZLITT:

(DUMBFOUNDED) Mr. Duggan!

GLENCANNON:

(BEAMING AT HAZLITT) Weel, Muster Hazlitt--
I didna see you there. Mr. Duggan, I suggest
ye go across the street to Mr. Hazlitt's
office, and he'll be glod to draw oop a
little temporary agreement wi' ye.

DUGGAN:

Right away. Come on, Hazlitt, if that's
the name!

HAZLITT:

(UNCOMPREHENDING) Right away, Mr. Duggan!
Captain Ball -- you come too!

-49-

VIDEO

AUDIO

**BALL:**

(ALSO DUMBFOUNDED) Yes -- of course.

HE GULPS HIS WHISKY AND FOLLOWS.

**DUGGAN:**

(ACCOMPANYING THEM TO THE DOOR) It's not the money, you understand. Blast the money. It's the principle. **Has** my luck gone? I've got to know for certain. I've got to win something back from him. I've got to play and play and play until I win--even if it's only a farthing. (AS THEY GO OUT THE DOOR) If I sign the charter today, Mr. Hazlitt, how soon can you send the **Inchcliffe Castle** to Glasgow?

BALL, HAZLITT AND DUGGAN EXIT. GLENCANNON LOUNGES AGAINST THE BAR AND BEAMS AT LAURA.

**GLENCANNON:**

A-weel, my lassie, I wonder wny people a'ways choose the roon-aboot way o' doin' things when a sooperior intellect lik' my ane can a'ways find the --

THE DOOR OPENS AND MAC CRUMMON ENTERS JAUNTILY. HE CARRIES A ROLL OF BILLS IN HIS HAND, AND IS SINGING MERRILY.

-50-

VIDEO

AUDIO

MAC CRUMMON:

Oh, hoppy is the day when a sailor gets his
pay, As we gang rolling, rolling -- (HE
SEES GLENCANNON) Swith.

HE TURNS TO RUN OUT.

GLENCANNON:

(BOOMING) MacCrummon.

MAC CRUMMON:

(APPROACHING WARILY) Noo, Colin, if there
are any hard feelings aboot --

GLENCANNON:

I see ye've been paid off --

MAC CRUMMON:

(STILL WARILY) Aye.

GLENCANNON:

(HE TAKES MONEY FROM HIS POCKET) Well, then,
how aboot a spin or two, MacCrummon?

MAC CRUMMON:

(HIS EYES GLINTING) Ye want to gomble wi'
me, Colin?

GLENCANNON:

Aye.

-51-

VIDEO

AUDIO

MAC CRUMMON:

(EXPANSIVELY) Weel -- (HE REACHES INTO HIS POCKET. HIS FACE FALLS) I've lost me top.

GLENCANNON:

Dinna fret, MacCrummon. (TO LAURA) Lassie, would ye be guid enough to supply Mr. MacCrummon wi' one o' those Duggan's Dew advertisements?

LAURA:

A "put and take" top? 'Ere y'are, sir. SHE HANDS MAC CRUMMON A TOP.

MAC CRUMMON:

Thank ye, lassie.

GLENCANNON:

You spin first, MacCrummon.

THEY PUT MONEY ON THE BAR. MAC CRUMMON SPINS. THE TOP COMES TO REST.

LAURA:

Mr. MacCrummon puts two.

GLENCANNON:

Aye.

MAC CRUMMON ADDS MONEY TO THE PILE AND PUSHES THE TOP ACROSS TO GLENCANNON.

-52-

VIDEO

**MAC CRUMMON:**
Your spin, Colin.

GLENCANNON:

(BEAMING SERAPHICALLY) I'll use me ane.
HE TAKES IT FROM HIS POCKET. MAC CRUMMON
FROWNS.

MAC CRUMMON:

Yere ane, Colin?

GLENCANNON:

(GENTLY) Aye, MacCrummon, me ane. You'll
no' be objecting, will ye?

HIS OTHER HANDS COMES OUT OF HIS POCKET,
WITH THE BRASS KNUCKLES AFFIXED. MAC CRUMMON
GLANCES AT THE KNUCKLES, AT THE TOP, AT
GLENCANNON.

MAC CRUMMON:

(GULPING) I'll no' object.

GLENCANNON:

Aye, I didna think ye would, MacCrummon.
GLENCANNON SPINS. THE TOP FLUTTERS, AND
COMES TO A STOP.

LAURA:

Mr. Glencannon, takes all.

AUDIO

-53-

VIDEO

AUDIO

CLOSING NARRATION

DONALD COOK:

Chapter Two of the A B C Album:

"MR. GLENCANNON TAKES ALL," with
and

Chapter Three is on its way, and scheduled
to arrive next week at this same time. It's
called "Jamie", and it stars Brandon

De Wilde. It's the story of a very, very
old little boy, and how he finally found a
place to unpack his bags and stay awhile.

Next week, then, "JAMIE" a comedy that will
make you cry a little -- and laugh a lot.

And so, until then, when I'll be on hand
once more to turn the pages and read over
your shoulder a little - this is Donald

Cook thanking you and saying goodnight on
behalf of the producers, directors, and
writers, cameramen and technicians of the

ABC ALBUM.

-55-