To Mrs. R----Y.

MADAM,

AFTER having aspired to the
highest and most laudable am-
bition, that of following the cause
of love, I should not have humbly
petitioned your Ladyship for a direc-
tion of the School of Venus, had I not
believed successes in that province an
happiness much to be wish'd for, by
a real good honest woman, and highly
conducing

Yale
Lewis Walpole

DEDICATION.

conducing to the prosperity of the
trade. It is in this view I lay before
your ladyship this piece, hoping your
kind indulgence and recommendation
to that noble good school of impiety, of
which you have so long been the sup-
port and governante. I am, Madam,
with the greatest esteem for the fa-
vours already received,

Madam,
Your most obedient, and
Most devoted humble servant,

The AUTHORESS.

PROLOGUE.

A
Youth just ent'ring on the stage of life,
Anxious to wench, and fearful of a wife;
This youth at times was almost raving mad,
To see that rary show the ladies had :
He was so bathful, so afraid of sin,
He only squinted, without vent'ring in—
The shop shut up, big as a son of war,
He cocks his hat, and struts through Temple-bar;
Driving along, a female catch'd his hand,
And led him to a tavern in the Strand;
Where all those feats, of table, floor, and chair,
Are practis'd by these most complying fair :
The youth was aukward how to make th' attack,
But she inclining gently on her back,
Remov'd the scruples, of the prentice boy,
By acts of dalliance, and a feigned joy :
He, rais'd by passion, hugs the yielding Miff,
While figh succeeds to figh, and kifs to kifs.
O what a calm succeeds the storm of love,
At least to those, who first the passion prove !
But, oh! when all is languid, faint and cold,
The hand reluctant gives the shining gold.—

Some days elaps'd, appears a dreadful p—;
Frighted to death he goes to Doctor Rock's:

Some

## PROLOGUE:

Soon fallow face, weak limbs, and heavy eyes,
Declare his state too late—alas! he dies.
Be cautious youth, how you such firens prove,
Nor truft an emp'rick, with the woes of love;

A tender parent tell your different fears,
Such *modestly*'s a fault in boyish years.

### By Way of EPILOGUE.

WHAT's that in which good houſewives take delight,
Which, tho' it has no legs, will ſtand upright?
'Tis often us'd, both ſexes muſt agree,
Beneath the navel, yet above the knee;
At the end it has a hole; 'tis ſtiff and ſtrong,
Thick as a maiden's wrift, and pretty long.
To a ſoft place 'tis very oft apply'd,
And makes the thing 'tis us'd to ſtill more wide.
The women love to wriggle it to and fro,
That what lies under may the wider grow.
By giddy fluts sometimes it is abus'd
But by good houſewives rubb'd before 'tis us'd,
That it may ſitter for their purpofe be,
When they to occupy the fame are free;
Now tell me, merry ladies, if you can,
What this muſt be, that is no part of man?

A Rolling Pin.

# KITTY's Attalantis

## For the YEAR 1766.

THE pure Mifs J—n, calls her-
felf fifteen, but by her maiden-
head not more than twelve. She takes
the run of the bagnios, and abufes gentle-
men for not laying with her; her mind is
proſtituted to the highest pitch, and does
her utmoſt endeavour to make her body
the fame, but her youth will not admit of
it. She is at preſent ſupported by a ſum-
bling knight, under the notion of a mo-
deſt milliner. I would adviſe the lady,
for her own ſake, to be a little more ſpar-
ing

( 2 )

ing of her tongue, and not expose gentle-
men to pimps and chairmen. Pretty thou
art without dispute, and the virgin of in-
famy.—Thou muſt have been begot by the
under-lackeys of Newgate, upon the body
of the vileſt b—h that ever fold filh, who
muſt have been placed there not only for
gutting the living, but robbing the dead;
—and if thou didſt ſerve any time in the
lace trade, it muſt have been with that
worthy good old Lady in Berwick-street, who
thy mother and Fathers, knew would take
particular care of thy education, which you
may with justice ſay ſhe has done, becom-
ing her noble ſelf, the Devil's godmother.

The ſmart Mrs. F----r, little and pretty, rather too much drefs, very fond of a ſide box at the playhouſe; in keeping with a noble lord, in an honour'd court.—Pall-mall.

The

( 3 )

The notable Mifs Ke----y; a good com-
panion, fuitable to any company, full of
ſpirits and good nature; an agreeable open
countenance, drefſes genteel, keeps a table
fit for a nobleman.—Ruffel-street, Bloomſ-
bury.

The ſhowy Mifs E—t; now in great
efteem, and deem'd pretty. The ſtage,
without doubt, added greatly to her friendly
lift. I aſk the lady's pardon for reminding
her of the year 1756; if ſhe'll take the
hint and preſerve her porter ſhe may ſee a
wifh'd-for 1766.—In keeping at a cleanly
ſhop in St. Martin's-lane.

The fashionable Mifs Garr---s have had
a very great run. They are to be ſure fine
women, but too apt to fancy the fame gen-

B 2

tlemen,

( 4 )

tlemen, tho' that may be owing to the per
fuafion of their pecuniary adviser.

Muse, drop the curtain, nor behold this act,
Two fifters glorying in a carnal fact;
Shrink at these times, like darker days of yore,
Two fifters playing with one man the whole.
Repent, O Garr—ks, quit the Bolton queen,
Nor e'er together in the row be seen—
Next lend your ear—and lift a grave intreat,
O spare a fifter, spare St. James's-Street.—

The lively Nancy D—n; much alter'd
for the better. I wou'd recommend her
continuance of the useful Dublin Factor,
for she may be certain that trade cannot be
well carried on without the help of those
useful gentlemen or agents.—King-street,
Red-Lyon-Square.

The

( 5 )

The inconstant Mrs. Ba—s. Pretty,
without dispute; little, and smart; too
much talk; in keeping, but may be ob-
tained by a trifling present; if not imme-
diately admitted, you'll have the satisf-
faction to be called a pretty fellow at every
tea-table she visits, and sure, my smart,
that's an equivalent for a lap-dog.—Walks
the Park every noon; lives in a genteel
house, Paradise-Row, Berwick-street, neat-
ly fitted up with eastern furniture.

The decent Mrs. Bam—d; very smart
in her conversation; calls herself fitter to
Mis. Ba—s, but the reverse; rather too
pecuniary.—In keeping, near Surgeon's-
Arms, Berwick-street.

The lovely Mrs. O—n. A very fine
woman; good-natur'd and sensible; an

B 3

honour

( 6 )

honour to her keeper, though he is not
lefs deferving a good woman.—*Sun*—, *Mid-
dlesex*; in Town, *Han. Square*.

The ftately Mifs *H*—*t*; a fine showy
woman, though old enough to be called
Mrs. much given to intriguing and jilt-
ing; retired from the ftage, and her en-
dearing man, with a good penfion.—*Green-
street, Groſſenor Square.*

The agreeable Mifs *Her—e.* I can't say
enough in this lady's favour, for her mo-
dest and genteel behaviour; ſhe's all a man
can wifh. She did favour Fulham with
her prefence, but lately ſnatch'd away by
a young glittering knight, at his ſeat, near
*R—*.

The

( 7 )

The ravishing Mifs *Charlotte* F—*h*;
called pretty, may be genteel; but as the
*Meretriciad* says,

What's here! a doubtful, visionary fair,
That like a juggler's ball, is here, and there;
Stole from the confines of the old *welch queen*,
But for the universe, would not be seen;
" Why gentle *Charlotte*, did you not repair,
" At the appointed time to drown my care;
" I wrote, I sent five porters up and down,
" Tore down the bells, and tore this bagnio gown,
" But heard no tidings of my joy or wifh !
" Abus'd the waiters,—raving, oh, my Fifh !
" My maid was out, I rav'd, and tore my hair,
" Your billet kifs'd, return'd it back with care;
" But why not break the wafer gentle belle ?
" My tears declare— I cannot read or spell."
The honest ſpeech, so pleas'd the rapturous youth,
He clasſ'd dear *Charlotte*, as a country truth;
Will you forgive me, this unhallowed wit,
For *Welch* declares that *Fifh* can read a—bit,
The muse is pleas'd to find thee thus improve,
There muſt be genius—where there's so much love;
Perfection, it is none, to write or read,
The greater dunce, the greater mark of breed;

Therefore

( 8 )

Therefore sweet Charlotte must, by face and head,
Rank high in dignity, being highly bred.

Money, with the Bolton Queen, will pro-
duce Mifs F—.

The cautious Mifs Sally C—ts. This
lady has fought through life, for many
years, without exposing herself to either
bagnio or tavern; little, and fresh-colour'd,
without cosmetics.—In keeping at a useful
shop in Royal-street, Leicester-fields.

The genteel Lucy C—r; still gay and
thirty. After the death of her old friend
W—ys, was in Hopes Lucy would have
reformed.

The greatest deeds a nine-days wonder are,
But Lucy laugh'd between each trembling tear;
Sought

( 9 )

Sought a new feat for Bacchanalian chat,
And fix'd her standard at the Golden Cat;
And there she swears, like worser Drury's punk,
The man shall have her, who can make her drunk.

The consequential Mifs Tay—; showy
in her apparel, called pretty. I would not
offend the lady, by entertaining the world
with her character; therefore will only re-
commend to her what is due to all gentle-
men.—*Harlot's Rendezvous*.

The gaudy Mifs Stew—d, lives to the
admiration of many; she formerly belong-
ed to the Opera-House, but whether quit-
ted or not for a better trade, is a mystery
to me. The *Naked Lad* in Bedford-street,
will conduct you to her apartments.

The

( 10 )

The *Proteus* Mifs Stev—s; showy and
well-dreſs’d; much admired for her good-
nature and agility. I can aſure my rea-
ders, from good authority, that ſhe’s a
ſtranger to what is not becoming a gen-
tlewoman, a frequenter of the play-houſes,
and a great admirer of a country jaunt:
lives in a ſtately houſe, *War— Court, Holb*
—In keeping with a *Hearty* gentleman in
the ſummer, at his ſeat, near *W—*

The ſmiling Mifs Pen. ſenk—, ſifter
to Mifs Stev—; called pretty, but can’t
ſay much in her favour. She has, to be
ſure, a remarkable way of ſhewing her
teeth, which ſome conſtrue good-nature;
but that, in my opinion, ſhe is a ſtranger
to, for which reaſon, can ſcarce believe
her a ſifter of the above, though ſhe’s the
honour to be called ſo, and live together
in town.

The

( II )

The bouncing Mifs Gif—d. This lady,
I may venture to ſay, has laid with more
men, than ſhe has hairs upon her head;
and ſeven years ago was broke down ſo,
that there was no riding her without the
riſque of falling; though yesterday I was
told ſhe ſtarted not long ago at the Shake-
ſpear for a three years old; if ſo, ’tis clear
none of the turf was preſent.—*Haymarket.*

The blooming *Char.* R—, I may ſay,
never out of ſaſhion, ſhe plays her cards
ſo well, that ſhe keeps herself in much
the ſame ſituation as when ſhe firſt ſtarted.
She’s at this preſent time ſubject to ſits,
whenever a north-east wind blows, eſpe-
cially if any gentleman’s preſent; for then
ſhe certainly moves him with a ſtory of
her poor hufband, which makes the gen-
tleman more eager to ſtart, thinking her
really married, and that, with ſome cloſe-
ſilted

(( 12 ))

fifted gentlemen, is half the battle.—
*Long-Acre.*

The nafty Mifs Jen-s. This greasy thing
squanders away a great deal of money,
without the leaft credit, appearing always
as if she had laid in a Round-Houſe. Sure
it muſt be ſome ſlobbering 1—, that pays
her well for being hand-maiden to his
ſtinking tripe, for no young fellow, unleſs
pimp or cull, that uſe her common ſhore
gratis, would approach within half a mile;
but 1—s there are, as well as doctors, that
have much naſtier notions than thoſe born
on dunghills.—*Duke-street.*

The over-bearing Mrs. *Pear*—; I beg her pardon, for I believe she calls herself Mifs; though nigher fifty than twenty. This lady would be paſſable, was she not to

( 13 )

not to take so much upon her; for thoſe
that remember her twenty years ago, can't
help abuſing her, for ſhe looks upon every
body as dirt, and can't bear to hear a
man's name mentioned without a title. I
muſt own, for my part, I hate the bitch-
fox, that, after ſhe's pupt, forſakes her
whelps.—*Bolton-Row.*

The comely Mifs Nug—. This lady,
tho' inclin'd to be fat, I aſſure you ſhe's
very agreeable and entertaining, and al-
ways well dreſt. She ſeems ſettled with a
bob wig in the city, who leaves his wife
twice a week, to pay his respects to her,
with an excuſe of going into the country;
ſo leaves his horſe in Gray's-Inn Lane, and
then ſneaks to Ruffel-Street, Bloomsbury.

The graceful Mifs El—t. This lady I
pity much, for ſhe really came from a good
family

( 14 )

family, and hope what she suffer'd, when
in the Garden, will make her respect more
the old gentleman she now lives with, and
banish that idle notion, of a man's not
being good enough, because he's a citizen;
for he that pays the best, is the man you
ought to value the most, and not listen to
a red coat, who will tell you of his intima-
cy with my lord this and other, when,
perhaps, his knowledge only springs from
the butler, or housekeeper, to whom he
pays court, for the fake of running over
the bones that come from my lord's table.
—She is a very fine woman, and when
she pleases, capable of entertaining the
best and cleanest lord in the land. Mary-le-
Bone.

The gay Peggy Law—n. This girl
thinks of nothing but dreads and small talk !
if the admittance at Ranelagh was a guinea,
and she depriv'd going for want of the
needful,

( 15 )

needful, am certain she wou'd retail her
commodity to two dozen coach and water-
men for a shilling each; and, if in a good
humour, treat them with a dram out of it,
through her maid's interest, having credit
at the gin shop.—She changes her lodg-
ings as often as the weather cock, which
makes it impossible to fix any place. In the
evening may be found at the noted Jelly
Shop, or any of the harlot's taverns.

The amiable Mifs Ma—y. This lady,
who' some time upon the town, exceeds the
major part, she's handsome without cos-
metick, and in a few words, all a man can
wish, that loves a fine woman—Rose, &c.

The pretty Polly W—s, neat and really
tempting. It wou'd be much to her advan-
tage hereafter, was she to think a little

C 2

more,

( 16. )

more, and fave the needful, for she may
see, by others, that beauty will fade, and
not fly to Maidenhead so often, to meet the
Oxonians, unless they pay her double, be-
fides charges; for nineteen shillings and fix
pence, besides turnpikes, post-boys, &c.
sweats two guineas confoundedly. Mo-
ther G—y, that b—h of b—hes, in Ber-
wick-street, will procure the lady.

The genteel Mifs Sm—. This lady be-
haves herself with a great deal of formali-
ty, not becoming her; for tho' she rides
now and then in a chariot, 'tis only that
of a little dirty-face Jew broker, from
which she's not entitled to the least pride;
(unlefs Filch and Jack Catch's ladies are
entitled) therefore, left one of the horSES
should fall lame, or any other like acci-
dent happen, I would recommend an easy
behaviour, which would fit the better, ef-
pecially to her superiors, for you can't be
long

( 17 )

long genteel without the ready—New-pa-
ved-Court, Bow-street, or Knight'sbridge.

The eloquent Mifs Chand—, form'd to
pleafe mankind in her person, behaviour,
and motions. Neatnefs, fair lady, is com-
mendable, and all indeed that is required;
and as you want no cosmeticks, no trains
of silk to let off your heavenly form,
leave them for others that can't go with-
out, you have fense, therefore think in time,
that you may avoid the infamy of being a
second G—y.

The wanton Mifs Sm—b the little.—
This girl is, without dispute, pretty, and
what moſt of the turf fancy; therefore
ſhould think her in a fair way of doing
well, but the contrary never well.—Surely
Mifs Sm—, you have forgot the kindneſs

C 3

you

( 18 )

you receiv'd from the old goat, who found
you running fafter than a rowel in a dray
horfe, order'd his surgeon to attend you,
and when cured, upon your fair promise of
your next maidenhead, was to recommend
you to a chariot, instead of which laid
with your barber, who had—half the pa-
rich the month before, by whose help you
started for the second plate. Advice is
thrown away upon you, therefore shall
take my leave with faying, that I never
knew any girl do well, that was mean
enough to eat sprats, and drink gin, with
her servant maid and barber. At the bar-
ber's waſherwoman's near Hyde-park Corner.

The dying Mifs Atk—. This lady calls
herself pretty and genteel, which is her
whole conversation; but alas, how misfa-
ken! for thou art short, and bandy-legg'd,
and as to thy face, I may safely say it
— wou'd

( 19 )

wou'd take a load of gravel to fill up the
pits. I think, Mifs, you love shaving and
gin-drinking as well as Sm—b.—Felly-shop.

The sprightly Mifs Dod—n. This little
girl, I may venture to say, has run thro'
all the colleges, and the principal part of,
this city; she behaves decently, and what
gains her great credit, she always speaks
well of her own sex, and if not in proper
condition for starting, always declares it,
which is a very material thing. She may
be heard of at any of the noted taverns or
bagnios, having, what they call, the free
run.

The turbulent Mifs Tom—n. This
girl is very pretty and genteel, but the
most blasphemous lady, that ever drew
breath in a bawdy house; if her carcaſs
be as abandoned as her tongue, 'twill be
unsafe for any to approach her, that is not
fire

( 20 )

fire proof. She's in the Golden Cat nunnery, under the tuition of the sensibleiovial Cooper.

The undefiled Mrs. Wilk—, behaves herself in the modesteft manner that any citizens wife is capable of; she attends church regular on Sunday mornings, and the Park in the afternoon, the Change she never misses paſſing, about two o'clock; and if ſtruck with some city beau, or he with her, ſhe immediately goes to the paſtry-cook's, and then returns home into L— Street, by way of making him the more eager; and plays her cards, as if taught by the pretty Mifs Mutton, the butcher's daughter in L— Market.—She's pretty, and worth following, and does her buſineſs with the greateſt caution.

The inconfiant Mifs Ram—. This young lady always entertains you with the

( 21 )

the loſs of her maidenhead, blaming her relations, for not letting her carry on intrigues at home longer than a twelvemonth, which ſhe did with the greateſt ſuccesſs, having ſold her maidenhead, in that ſpace of time, to fifty different people, when 'twas ſuppoſed, by her age, that her father's boy, who uſed to ſweep the ſhop, got her real one, behind the counter. Her method was to take a ſtroll round by the Park and Haymarket, which never failed getting a galant, for the red-coat gentlemen are very numerous in those parts; ſhe carried them all home to the door, intreating them to leave her, for her father was at home, appointing the Sunday following for an interview. The gentlemen ſo eager, were continually paſſing by the ſhop, when ſhe always took care to be seen, sometimes ſhe would get to the door with her father, and when any approach'd it, ſhe, on purpose to be heard, would ſay papa, which kindled a new flame in her galants; at laſt, it came to ſuch a pitch, that the neighbourhood

( 22 )

neighbourhood took them for bailiffs, and
out of pure regard to the father, went and
inform'd him of it, which affronted him
so much, that he even abus'd his friends.
This affair was carried on, through igno-
rance, by the father, as well as the daugh-
ter, for he ftood with her at the door, from
morning to night, to fhow the neighbour-
hood he was not afraid of any one. This
remain'd in embryo, 'till the boy, wanting
a slice of his plumb cake, fummon'd Mifs
to the old place, and, to his great surprife,
found it contrary to the reft of eatables,
and thought it refembled more a gap in
a hedge, than a cake, being the larger
for taking away; so concluded that num-
bers had been playing about the fame
bush, when he modeftly told his mafter
that the men came after Mifs, which ex-
cited the father to fet a proper watch, and
when convinced, turn'd the innocent Mifs
Ram— out of doors.

The Stern-head, at Charing-Crofts, will
procure her.

The

( 23 )

The cautious Mifs Court— This lady
is very pretty, and well made, and really
fit for the beſt company, and I believe de-
ferving, for ſhe will not ſuffer any man to
approach her, without first performing a
regular quarantine. You may think gen-
tlemen, that no woman is worth waiting
ſo long for, but I aſſure you ſhe is ſo enga-
ging, that no gentleman would think it
long to perform double the time, to be in
her graces—Clarges-street, Piccadilly.

The admirable Mifs Rog—s. These
two ladies are moſt commonly together,
and, for the ſake of carrying a better face,
call fifters; whether ſo or not, I will not
pretend to ſay, but the man that gets ac-
quainted with one, can't help taſting the
other, tho' decency looks him in the face.
They are ſo engaging, ſo neat and clean,
without flounces and furbeloes, that they
are really an example to the modeſteſt of
the

( 24 )

the sex; their beauty, form, and little &c. are matchless, which makes them worthy the best noble's bed. They frequent the Park and play-houses; the Bolton Queen will introduce you.

The audacious Mifs Car—t. This lady is very insolent and overbearing, that 'tis with reluctance any person keeps her company, I wonder the thick-headed grocer keeps her so long, but as he's rather beauteously than otherwife, he may do it, thinking no one envies him, which I believe might be the case, was the filching bailiff ship't for America. The grocer moves her so often, that 'tis impossible to fix her residence, but left in Cold bath-Fields.

The brawny Mifs Gol—, or rather Mrs. for really think 'tis high time to drop inno-
cency

( 25 )

cency at forty-two. She keeps herself cent, and every morning pays her address to the Golden Cat, where the good lady, for the fake of the house, drinks as much Madiera as would swim a cat, which blows her up, and at noon looks as pale as the riling fun. Those who like a woman a degree less than the walking Chancellor at Somerset-House, may find this lady at the Cat or Ship any night in the week.

The sprightly Mifs Gaud—; easy and genteel; her conversation pleasing; her motions when she meets a fancy'd man, are matchless: she preferr'd the trade before any in Westminster, and enter'd a volunteer in keeping; but money, properly applied, will do wonders, especially if the gentleman be a man she fancies.—Peland-street.

P

The

( 26 )

The crafty Mifs H—n. This lady is,
without doubt, pretty, with the help of
which, she plays the fool with half the
'prentices in the city. They don't only
think her an angel, but a faint. 'Tis true,
she, like Mrs. Wilk—, goes with the fa-
mily to church, but the thing is, where
does she go after? You, who intend ma-
trimony, stay in the city, but he who
loves sweet variety, and can go out be-
fore four o' clock, and stay out after
eleven in the evening, attend Temple-
Gardens, and, if that won't do, place
yourself at the back door of the con-
venient house in Leicester-Fields; if in com-
pany watch her return, for I assure you
she's worth a month's trouble.—Near
Gracechurch-street.

The greasy Mifs Jo—. This lady, not
content with the complexion of her hair,
makes

( 27 )

makes use of lamblack and oil to such a
degree, that her head stinks worse than a
stale fishmonger's shop; her cap, by the
time she's wore it half an hour, is in a
moister condition, than the paper that
comes from a roafted haunch of venison.
If we may judge by appearance, the con-
sequential part of the lady must be in a
very relishing condition, tho' I've heard
numbers say they wou'd rather— with a
woman that had red hair, than another for
this reason, because they are always juicy;
therefore you who love juice, repair to
Mifs Jo—, for am certain a louse embrace
of hers, is greater than the carcafs of a
sheep, that has hung four hours in the fun
in the middle of the Dog-days.—Hay's
market.

The inimitable Charlotte Ha—.

See Charlotte Ha—, as modest as a faint,
And fair as ten years past, with little paint.

D 2

The

( 28 )

The *Meretriciad* moved her from confinement to a convenient place near the Park, by the benefit of the late Insolvent Act; but I can assure my reader, that she's now in keeping, and rides in a stately coach; and those who love a fine motherly woman, may find the best entertainment in her company.

The upright Kitty Wil—s; neat, pretty, and cleanly; though some time upon the Town, yet perhaps more deferring than the better half. Had you, Kitty, taken the advice of an old friend, and not listened to your servant, and that old toad-eater, who was not satisfied with living upon you, but took care that you was never overburthen'd with money, by introducing those two walking Jew jewellers, from whom she received poundage.—If you should meet with another superannuated Don, drop

( 29 )

drop that idle notion of Mother G—y's spring beds, for by this time, sure, Kitty, you must have had your quantum; and that b—ed old b—h, you know, would seduce the devil. Oh! was she left to my doom, it should be, that her best spring-bed might be placed in the middle of Covent-Garden, on which the groans carcases of impiety should be laid, with a proper fire under it, that the world might see its true notions, and at the same time be eased of the greatest fiend in this kingdom.

The astonishing Nancy Va—. This lady looks as well as she did fourteen years ago; and even to this day, she's palm'd upon numbers for a fresh piece. She must certainly have behaved well, for she dresſes in the same genteel manner she formerly did, i. e. neat not gaudy; with some honour. She's pretty, and good-

D 3

natur'd,

( 30 )

natur'd, and safer at this juncture than
half the yearlings in the Garden.—Rose,
&c.

The prattling Mifs Camb—; very pretty,
and not less infamous. I may venture to
say, she has run through both universities,
therefore her education must be admirable.
She is very agreeable in company, and
fings what the Bucks call, a remarkable
good song. She may be safely depended
upon, very fond of a country jaunt, and
every night at the playhouse.—Any of
Harlot's Rendezvous.

The conceited Mifs Nancy Me—t. This
lady may be deem'd a b—ch in nature,
for when she repair'd to her Halberd, and
enter'd into good quarters, she could not
be contented; nay, the kind serjeant gave
her

( 31 )

her freedom, and not only recommended
her to a genteel buſineſs, but advanced
half an year's pay for her better educa-
tion: before half her time was expired,
she uſed to tell her miftrels, that she ſhould
not follow the buſineſs after she was out
of her time, which was really the cafe;
for, to her ſhame and infamy, she repair'd
to her old trade, in which, I fear, she'll
gain no merit, tho' she might by making
mantua's.—In keeping, by a fly old Don
in Chancery-Lane.

The ſenſible Mifs Fanny Tho—s. This
lady is greatly to be pittied, being
ſenſible of her horrid way of life, but
obliged to follow the trade upon her
mother's account, who, without doubt,
is one of the moſt bl—ſt—d b—s that
ever drew breath. I've known gentlemen
aſk for Mifs, and ſhe's immediately re-
plied,

( 32 )

plied, with the utmost joy in her countenance, " that if they would please to sit down, she would send her daughter to attend them." This poor girl would have followed a little trade, by way of maintaining herself, but so continually harrafs'd by the mother, and threaten'd with such blaspheming oaths, that her life was daily in danger. She's pretty, and really entertaining.—Hart-street.

The ftately Mifs Cra—d, some time ago a fine woman. I wish she had liffen'd in time to the flaxen gentleman, and not have run helter-skelter to a bawdy-houſe, for the ſake of not being at home; for though you had great intereſt at that time with Mrs R—; yet if now in want, wou'd ſee you d—d before ſhe wou'd advance you a ſhilling. It was, and always will be, the cafe with thofe hell-dry'd ſpunges.—I believe

( 33 )

lieve ſhe has the run of the bagnios and taverns that are proper for the ſporting race.

The mild Mifs Rob—n. I ought to ask your pardon for taking this liberty, but as it is done only with a good intent, that you may ſee what you are liable to, by being, what the vulgar call, upon the Town, hope that will atone. Let me recommend to you immediately a proper way of thinking, for though you live with the gentleman that firſt ſeduced you, take my word for it, 'twill not laſt for ever. You may not think it a crime to ogle, and ſuffer your hand to be kifs'd by one, two, or three of your gentleman's friends; but give me leave to tell you, that it is a very great one, and 'faith no better than a robbery; and be affured, that if you grant them the leaſt favour, they will be the firſt to condemn you, for this reaſon, if ſhe's a b—k

( 34 )

a b—h to that man, what would she be to
any other? You may, by this time, have
some idea of men's promises; and as it
appears to me, that your fitter will soon
leave her friend's, recommend to her a
settlement, before she bestows her favours;
for, though she's as handsome as woman
can be, yet no man will touch wax, after
it is left to his option. It is not long ago
that such an affair happened in our family;
the porter, shoe-black, and coal-carrier,
or gentleman-usher to the cook, fell in
love with our under kitchen-maid, called
scullion. After he had made strong love
to her for eight months, he then fix'd a
day for marriage. She, intoxicated with
the notion of marriage, sat up after her
mistrels was gone to bed, to bear her dear
man company, who was obliged to wait
the going of some gentlemen. Kissing
and playing enfued, and she, sweet wo-
man, was deflowered. The night before
the appointed day, she put him in mind
of

( 35 )

of his promife; he replied, “ Do you
“ think, you nafty stinking b—h, I’ll
“ marry a walking dunghill?” though be-
fore he had told her, she was sweeter than
a bed of violets.

The Iuscious Mifs Cop—. This lady
had a very pretty fortune, and an exceed-
ding good education, but, when a child,
was always too forward; she enter'd a vo-
lunteer; genteel, but far from handsome.
She lives, I believe, with the fame gentle-
man that deflower'd her, in *Book-binder-*
*Row, Soho.* Her life wou'd fill a sheet of
paper, but her good family might be too
much expos'd, which is the cause of it's
being omitted.

The fuperb Mifs Da—. Tho' fair lady
you are beautiful and genteel, yet haugh-
tineſs

( 36 )

tineſs does not become you; and tho' you
are now in keeping, you may in time be-
come what you call and deſpife—a com-
mon creature. You was very fortunate in
finding a ſecond gentleman, but, believe
me, haughtineſs ſoon will be laid in the
dirt, and then perhaps, too late, to think.
—Do, fair lady, for your own ſake, be as
good as you are pretty, and then you'll al-
ways be eſteem'd; for nothing eſſe, take
my word for it, is durable.—Margaret-
ſtreet.

The entertaining Mifs Wa—s. This
lady can't be call'd beautiful, but really
engaging; ſhe's gentcel, and dresſes well,
her converſation far exceeds the major
part, which makes me think ſhe came
from a good family. In November ſhe left
the gentleman who debauch'd her, and
now lives by the help of three friends at
moſt.

( 37 )

moſt. I wifh, fair lady, you may avoid
being kept by that detefted name, Mr-
Town; your good ſenſe, properly applied,
may prevent it.—Berwick-street.

The ſubtle Mifs Bar--y. Thou'rt pretty
without dispute, and if one may judge
by your behaviour, ſifter to Mifs Jo—n—
If profitution is a happy gift, ſurely you
muſt be happy, for you are as vile a wh—e
as ever pifs'd. I've known thee leave the
young grocer in a room two hours, eating
his nails, while thou wer't retailing thy
commodity to five different men, as he
would do his plumbs on the 24th of De-
cember; nay, I've known thee leave him
in bed with a plauſible excufe, and go to
another's for half an hour; and, by way
of cooling thyſelf, walk through the gal-
lery with thy ſhift in thy mouth, and when
thou approach'd the bed, ſet thy teeth a
chattering

( 38 )

chattering, as if thou had'ft laid in the
middle of *Covent-Garden* naked, in an hard
froft; adding, that you had been all the
time in the water clofet, with a fit of the
cholic; by which artifice you obtained a
glafs of cordial, to lull your debauch'd
carcafs to sleep, so turn'd tails, and wifh'd
him a good night.—*Poland-street.*

The comic Mifs Cum—s. This lady
was formerly a mop-fqueezer, and she says
debauch'd by a gentleman of the guards;
we'll suppofe an officer, for she appears
too genteel to touch a commoner; nay, says
so herself. She's pretty, and has what we
call, the gift of the gob. She rehearſes
the play of the Busy Body five nights out
of the ſeven, with a group of citizens,
who are all dying in love with her, and
she with them. They come so faſt one after another, that she's oblig'd to place
one

( 39 )

one behind the bed, a ſecond in the bed,
and a third under the bed; all which are
prepoſſed with an imaginary gentleman
that keeps her. It happened one evening,
that an officer with one arm paid her a
viſit *fans ceremonie*, when her laſt place of
concealment was filled up with a young
haberdafher dressed in white, with a large
blanket pin by his ſide; the gentleman
behind the bed was a *Spital fields* weaver,
who was so terrified at the name of cap-
tain, as to cauſe him to drop his water,
which run down to the young haberdafher:
he finding ſomething to wet his back, got
upon his knees and hands, and reſted so,
to let the water paſs betwixt 'em. Ma-
dam, to get rid of the captain, ordered
her maid to come in, and tell her, ſhe
was wanted at the *Rose*, which cauſed the
captain, being well bred, to retreat, upon
her promiſing to make him tea the day
following. She then releaſed the gentle-
man in bed, left he ſhould be ſuffocated,

E 2

and

( 40 )

and appointed him an hour after. Next
came the little haberdascher, who was
cramp'd almost to death, and wanted very
much to know from whence the water
came. She told him it might be (not
then in the secret) some water, that her
maid threw over in her confusion, he
could not contradict it, not being able to
see any thing, nor, in fact, to hear, as
the water run down the other's stockings,
and so out at his shoes. She got clear of
him by begging the favour of his company at
eleven o'clock, knowing at the same time
that he was obliged to leave her neigh-
bourhood at half an hour after ten at far-
theft, and then, perhaps, hard whipt to
save his distance, at the last stroke of
eleven. She then releas'd the Spital-fields
weaver, who she found in a stinking con-
dition, and, upon examination, that it was
him that had spoilt the little haberdascher's
coat, for fear of being found out by the
captain. He was glad to get out of the
house,

( 41 )

house, to hide his shame, which saved her
the trouble of making any excuse. I
think, fair lady, some day or other, if
you don't drop this hide-and-seek work,
you'll chance to introduce a tragical scene
in the middle of your comedy, which may
be attended with a shipwreck, or a stiff
neck.—*York-Buildings*.

The square stern Misses Can—o. This
lady dresses very genteelly in mourning, and
has something about her eyes engaging,
tho' far from pretty; she takes great pains
to show herself at the play-houses, by al-
ways sitting in the front of one of the lar-
gest green boxes, which makes me think,
she has not much business.—Really I should
have thought, that we had a sufficient
quantity of dolls, to entertain our nobili-
ty, gentry, &c. of English manufactory,
without the importation of Dutch toys; but

E 3

I should

( 42 )

I should not wonder now, if by way of variety, they were to import a group of In-fidels.—Any of the harlots rendevouzes will procure this pearl of Holland.

The incorrigible Mifs El—t the younger; a very pleasing pretty girl, yet illiterate, as well as her fister, tho' some time an actrefs; but how should it be otherways, if we believe fame, for she fays (tho' they both impose upon the town for daughters of a gentleman farmer) that they sprung from the sweeping of Exeter-street, when in it's full splendour, and they crawl'd from the kennel to a worthy good publican's house in that street, whose wife admitted naughely women, against his will, poor man; and that a mischance happen'd in this poor man's house to a citizen, which occasion'd a trial; and, as the devil never fail'd a woman at a pinch, perfwaded her husband, to

( 43 )

to take these two muckworms into the house, and convert one or beth to their use, by way of evidence; which hint the worthy gentleman embraced, and taught one parrot like, by which mean's turn'd the tables upon the citizen; and, instead of being fhipt, fhipt his innocent adversary.—Notwithstanding this genteel education, I've known them in company with gentlemen, who have provided elegant fuppers for them, which when come to table, they could not touch not being genteel enough, so perhaps would ftick fpoons, by way of employment, into a falver of jellies, for (what they call'd) the benefit of the house. If infamy's a blessing, I'm certain these two fisters have it three-fold.—The elder then went with that good gentleman Mr. Town.

Next in the playhouse she took her degree,
As men commence at university,
No doctors, 'till they've masters been before,
So she no player was, 'till first a whole.

If

( 44 )

If you know one house more infamous
than another, you may be certain to find
the younger there.

The lovely Mifs Nancy For—e. If I
had forgot thee, sweet lady, I should have
been thought void of tafte, for thou art
the sweeteft of thy sex :

No civet-cat had ever such a smell,
Thy borgamot does all other sweets excell.
Beauty of beauties, darling of the eye,
The face is but a mark to hit thee by,
Thou art the spot of Cupid's archery :
To pleafe thy friend's and confute thy foes,
Thou haft a mouth beyond fam'd Cicero's;
A mouth, whose silent rhetorick affords
More strong perſwasives than all Tully's words.
'Twas such a mouth taught Anthony to ſcorn,
The glorious Name to which that prince was born.
Still there remains one ſenſe, which we may call
One that is all the reſt, is more than all.
Who can deſcribe thy more than pleafing touch ?
That is a mighty taſk, for me too much.

None

( 45 )

None can her charming feelings duly tell,
But he who comes inſpir'd from her own well,
Whose feelings do all her ſexes excel.

The gigling Mifs *Fr—ks*. This lady,
with the help of half a pound of whiting,
and as much brick-duſt, is paffable. She
takes great pains to ſhow her mafk at the
playhouſes; and to have the more notice
taken of her, ſhe holds ſuch a parley with
the inſufferable Mifs *S—th*, that it is some-
times impoſſible to hear the performance.
Do, lady, if you muſt utter volumes of
ſmall talk, let it be at the Jelly-Shop, for
there, perhaps, it may be entertaining;
but in the other, I do affure you the con-
trary. If I miſtake not, you are one of
thofe who endeavour to perſwade the
world, that you only ſee one or two viſi-
tors :

But

( 46 )

But, thou'd we fame believe, we then might say,
That thoufands lay with you, as well as they;
Thofe, for ten thoufand more, have inlets made,
And now you're miftrefls of the Devil's trade.
You'll tempt, lie, cozen, ſwear, betray, and cheat,
Hell's blackeſt arts ten thouſand times repeat;
Since to live peaceful is thy greateſt pain,
Proceed, and then you'll queen of devils reign.

The luſtful Mifs Yo—g, or rather Mrs.
for ſhe was really married; but ſhe, poor
girl, having an uncommon itching after
the male kind, was caught twice by her
hufband in the fact, and as he never
found her ſatisfied or tir'd,

Full forty men a day provided for this whore,
Yet, like a b—ch, ſhe wagg'd her tail for more.

Which broke her hufband's heart. About
fourteen days after his death, ſhe enter'd
a volunteer, and is at this junſture ſo
amorous, that if ſhe miffes her quantum
one

( 47 )

one day, ſhe goes whining about the
houſe like a dog-drawn bitch: I may with
juſtice ſay with Lord *Rochefuër*, that

She was ſo exquifite a whore,
That in the belly of her mother,
She plac'd her *lips* ſo right before,
That her father *kifs* 'd 'em both together.

*Margaret-street, Cavendish-square.*

The dapper Mifs *Nelly Far*—y. This
girl, through the imprudence of her fa-
mily, has ſuffer'd not a little. She was
put out to ſervice, and there learn't the
ſervants agreeable chat, which in a ſhort
time made her as ripe as a peach; which
forwardneſs was the cauſe of her leaving
her place. She then went to acquaint her
uncle of it, (who, they ſay, is worth ſome
money; he's called the honeft Turner in
*Westminſter*; and really ſo, *ſtrictly so*, that
if he could turn the head of *Charles* the
Second

( 48 )

Second to any advantage, he would make
no scruple of taking it; or if his house
wanted a tile, he would borrow one from
his neighbour's house) who immediately
turn'd her out. She then went to her
maiden aunt, who lives near *Turnham-
Green*, who, without giving her leave to
speak, told her, that if she wanted an old
mat to cover her nakedness, she would
not give it her. This woman is one of
the blasted breed that skin mice alive, for
eating the small end of her halfpenny-
worth of cheese: nay, it is not clear, but,
to make up her Sunday's dinner, she eats
the mice.

Nelly was at last drove upon the town,
and, for want of knowing how to apply,
fet off to try her luck in the Strand, and
gave her pretty maidenhead to an unknown
half-crown, hip-shotten citizen.—She's
pretty, and something very agreeable in
her countenance, and may be heard of at
any

Tate LWI

( 49 )

any of the Harlot's Taverns, haying just
entered the *Running Lift*.

We have a set of ladies that live in Co-
vent-Garden neighbourhood, that are the
Bridewell breed, and below my notice,
and ought to be below any gentleman's.
We have another set, that make it a con-
stant practice, instead of walking the
streets in the evening, to pa's thro' 'em in
the day, some in coaches, some on foot;
they take a constant round from the Hay-
market to the Royal-Exchange, which sweats
the haberdashers, and linen-drapers' pre-
tices confoundedly. The ladies, fond of
showing themselves, always look into
every shop they pa's, when you'll see those
foggy gentlemen, poping their heads behind
the counter for fear of being seen, like
old M—r the Hambro' merchant, who,
when he meets them at 'Change, pops into

F

a coffee-

( 50 )

a coffee-houſe and writes a note, promiſing them, that, if they will not take any notice of him, he will come and see 'em in the evening, which perhaps they can't read, ſo go to the Crown behind the Change, and give one of the waiters a gill or a — to read it for 'em; nay, some of these old Dons not only keep women, but are married, and have children, and go once a week (i. e. every Sunday morning) and stay 'till eleven in the evening, unknown to the city, or they are confoundedly belied, in the neighbourhood of Henrietta Street.— The old and the young go for two different purposes, the one to raife their defires, the other to cool 'em. Some of the young tartars put on their boots, and mount their neighing steeds, to go, as they ſay, to some country club, or country house; ſo put up their horses at Hyde-park-Corner, or order a ſervant at the livery stables to meet them on Sunday morning, at the end of the stones, ſo go sneaking in a hackney coach,

( 51 )

coach, and hide themselves at a girl's lodgings, like a traveling gentleman, who, when ever the wind blows, expects to be visited by one of Mr. F.'s bull-dogs,— which they think great pleasure, because 'tis pain.—I don't know any one thing, that can add to the dignity of a city 'prentice so much as being able to stay out after eleven a clock; for when they get on this side Temple-bar, they re-assume different characters; — and I don't know any thing, that would entertain a man of honour so much, as placing himself about the middle of St. Paul's church-yard, at half an hour after ten a clock, to see the 'prentices camper home: some he would see with a sword under their coat, others with a laced waifcoat which the poor devils are oblig'd to hide for fear of being met, or seen by their masters; nay, some of 'em wear laced hats, which, when they go into the house, they hide under their coats; all which, on this side Temple-bar, they show *pro bono publico*.

F 2

Maidenhead,

( 52 )

Maidenhead, July 8, 1765.

REceived of John Goodcock, esq; the sum of five guineas, for my maidenhead, which is more than any of the Badcocks in the parish wou'd give, or any other parish within fifteen miles of this place, having tried every market day for these nine months past.—Left the world should blame the purchaser, or any of my friends, or relations, should offer to molest the said John Goodcock, esq; in any shape whatsoever; or left I myself, should be drawn in by any dirty lawyer, or attorney, to sue the said John Goodcock, esq; for the same, I do here promise to pay unto the said John Goodcock, esq; one thousand pounds; of good and lawful money, in case of any disturbance, molestation, &c. given him upon my account.—I say, receiv'd the said sum for my maidenhead, having offered it to the said gentleman for sale, as Mary Shrivelcock, of this parish, offers her stripe.—Witness my hand,

NANCY LAYCOCK.