## Some Other Man

Its just the same with the higher qualities we hear so much about -- in the comrade we hear so much about. I looked for modesty and found only fear; character and I found pig-headedness; intellect! it was short-hand lectures.

## Youth

But why bother about all that when they laugh so de-lightfully?

## Idealist

Woman for me is the maze of abortive experience deflecting me from the consummate nucleus-- the unique affinity of whose existence no disappointments will ever be able to dissuade me from. I went out to meet life open-handed with such good-will, without prejudice, without criticism-- I scoured the streets-- plunged into society-- 'touched pitch'-- dissolved myself in amorous mysticism-- yet, I have never been able to solve the problem of love. Woman!?!?

Sacred Prostitute - 2

## Another Man

You bet she does-- to some bully who beats her-- the ethereal type always gets beaten-- every pore of her skin cries out for it-- no healthy man could resist-- if only for that dumb reproachful eye-- it's like hunting!

## The Idealist

If women are bad, you are worse-- perhaps if there were more men like me, the women would improve.

## A Man (Disdainfully)

Improve on *You*?

## Don Juan

I am said to be supremely cruel to women, but no man has ever loved them as I have-- my intuitive solicitude avoived restricting them by over-valuation. I have not insulted femininity by singularizing with biased selectivism-- the individual for my favor-- picking my way, with alert precaution through the rose-garden of Love-- I enticed those sleeping beauties from their nests of illusion-- and showed them themselves. It is no fault of mine if they gave those selves to me and if, with my passing, very little was left. I played with their prejudices-- I never found a prejudice that took more than twenty minutes to overcome.

Sacred Prostitute - 5

I squandered hours chasing their silly souls into the corners of their propitious mouths. I was gentle with them-- and they fought me with the deceptive weapons of premeditated surrender. I maltreated them and they begged for more-- no brutality I could in-vent was ever drastic enough to make them leave me of their own accord.

## A Man

The only cruelty that woman refuses to submit to through any means, may be the cruelty that she deserves.

## Don Juan

The man who is unkind to women is the man of calculable possibilities-- women feed on anticipation, race with the intractable-- and are totally extinguished by the - attainable!

## Tea Table Man

For sophistry-- that beats all I've ever heard-- our timid companion 'racing with the intractable'-- why her whole conception of man is as an escort on a crowded thoroughfare; 'calculable possibilities' indeed-- what is the reason for our organized society?-- entirely for providing a safe radius within whose precincts man exhibits only so much of his brute reality as

Sacred Prostitute - 4

these delicate organisms can stand-- why, half my life is spent
in so pruning my natural tendencies that I may arrive at the degree
of self-abnegation required by the modern woman, and to that end
I pass my time in places where one spends money (the things we
hanker after not being on the market) where I hope, by the strictest
attention to the superficial, to stifle the aboriginal that lives
in the middle of me-- so far, I confess, it results in a double
personality. But I congratulate myself that the obverse I show
to women lets nothing through of what's on the other side.

## Don Juan

Fearing that her kitty-yawns should turn to a shriek?--
of terror??

## Tea Table Man

Exactly. I am determined-- cost me what it may-- to
keep her under the protection of her own innocence.

## Don Juan

Do you keep her long?

## Tea Table Man

There are a great many delightful women in my set, and
I have the luck to be extremely popular. There isn't a day passes
that I haven't half-a-dozen different shopping engagements. The

Sacred Prostitute - 5

things those women require! And they have such confidence in me.
why, I help them to buy their underclothes-- all the intricacies
of the feminine mind are woven into frills and there's no limit--
One day it's cobwebs with patches of rosebuds three inches thick,
plumped about on them-- the next, something thick with unexpected
interstices of netting you wouldn't dare to breathe on-- and
through the lot, the palest ribbons chasing each other in an out,
out and in. Only once, while I was absent-mindedly contemplating
a vision of myself clubbing a naked woman over the head in a
virgin forest on the counter, I asked my companion if this
decoration wasn't rather superfluous as no one was ever going to
see it. Well, she turned quite white-- I cursed myself for a
clout, shocking her fragile sensibilities like that-- no, woman
is not constituted for knowing the truth. At night, after the
theater which allows us to brush lightly up against other people's
passions, she leaves me for her blue-silk bedroom, where veronal
will put her to sleep. What would she do-- if she only knew
that all I wanted was to keep her awake?

Don Juan

Try the veronal on the canary.

["Sacred Prostituted - 6", "## Tea Table Man", "Realizing that no offering is noble enough to lay at\nthe shrine of this unimpeachable femininity, I am easily adapting\nmyself to civilization-- this accommodating contrivance that\nrelieves us of all the onus of individual action. Am I not in\nduty bound to be grateful for being born in an age when it is\nunnecessary for me to live-- all I have to do is to listen-- there\nare still a handful of irrepressable creative outsiders to sin\nmy sins for me, to pray my prayers for me. _some_ eccentric ass\nwith a tune in his head can fill a _town_ with what should have\nbeen _my_ mating song-- all I have to do is to pay for a box and\nconfess with a clap!", "*(With a loud report Futurism arrives on the scene)*", "## Futurism", "Coward-- pouah! Milksop! Poo-uuu-aaah! Tango Tout!", "*(Tea Table Man hits him in the eye with a violent potato)*", "## Futurism (Furiously)", "Blackguard! You nearly had my eye out! what man, I\nask you, could look successfully at a woman with an only eye?\n\n***\n***\n***\n***\n***\n***\n\n***\n***\n***\n***\n***\n***

Sacred Prostitute - 7

alone on the pinnacle of the passing moment, turning up my nose
at the solar-system, hurling invective at the moon-- chairs at
the audience! *(Calming down a little)* Has anybody got an
intellect or a dog handy? *(No response)* I could have shown you
a trick that proves the infallable superiority of animal instinct
over human reason-- There is nothing in life that is not best
apprehended by the presentiment of the nose! *(Sniffs-- like a GOD)*

### A Man

Who the devil are you-- to snift like that?

### Futurism (staggered)

You haven't seen my name in the newspapers?

### A Man

I don't read the newspapers-- I read Greek.

### Futurism (Boxing his ears)

Pastist! Feel a little or what it means to be alive!

*(To the others)* Take that prurient cemetary and stand him in a
draught. And now *(pulling up his cuffs and turning his hands
round about for the audience to inspect)* You are sure there is
nothing there? *(Catches at the air with a superb gesture and
holds it invisible between an eloquent thumb and finger.)*

Sacred Prostitute - 8

Gentlemen ---- the FUTURE. (The men stare very attentively)

Another Man

In all its sublime invisibility!

A Man

It looks exactly as it always did, so it must be what
it always was.

Another Man

I mpossible! You mean, what it always will be.

Some Other Man

No-- what it always is going to be.

Futurism

I offer you a magnificent Future-- entirely constructed
on speculation. To prove that it comes up to my expectations, I
have only to shove it into the Past-- any bids?

Youth

Coming-- coming-- coming-- When when is it going to
come?

Futurism (with an inimitable snap of the fingers back into the air)

Going-- going-- gone.

Sacred Prostitute - 9

Men

A <u>prophet</u> has come among us!

A Man

And I mistook him for a conjuring commercial traveller.

Procuress

My word-- the women ought to see this (<u>The women are</u>
<u>sent for and as usual flock round, Futurism 'lascivating' them with</u>
<u>his eyes</u>)

women

Only let us write our names with our life-blood in your
autograph album!

(Futurism hands them a tome labelled 'women I have had')

Women

But-- ?

Futurism

It's all the same-- I should have if I hadn't been
talking so much-- But perhaps I had better read you the proto-poem

I'atatata ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta
plum plam plam pluff pluff frrrrrr
urrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaa
pluff plaff plaff gottgott gluglu
craaa craaa
cloc-cloc gluglu gluglu cloc-cloc gluglu
scscscsc---

Do you feel that you could get into a more intimate relationship

Sacred Prostitute - 10

with me than you are now.

Women (inspired)

No. (They sigh)

Futurism (whose every gesture propounds vulgarity intensified to Divinity, slaps his bowler hat onto his head, crooked, and struts magnificently)

Dolores

You seem to have successfully plumbed the reminine
shallows. Could you tell us anything about this bare-acquaintance
or ours or hermaphroditic aspect-- it calls itself Love.

Procuress herds all the women off the stage in order to spare them disturbing recollections)

(Dolores draws LOVE forward)

Men

Just looking at it makes no deep impression-- but it's
hardly seductive.

Futurism

Love is a feminine conception spelt 'Greed' with a
capital 'G'-- this is female, all right! (drags off Love's
roseate hood, dislodging a shower of golden curls)

Futurism here declaims Futurist attack on love--
most drastic

When love has had enough she runs away, Futurism
after her, saying, "My God, she has run away-- I
must just 'finish her off'"

Sacred Prostitute - 11

(Futurism returns dragging Love across the floor by the hair)

Futurism (demonstrating to men)

I just take them like this-- tac-tac.

Men

That's all very well, but it's no consolation watching
the other man doing it-- good night! <u>Love looks shaken but intensely interested.</u> (They go off)

Futurism (looking carefully around to see if they have all gone--
let's go of Love's hair)

Excuse me, I hope I didn't hurt you. I have to do that
for the sake of my reputation. <u>Love looks shaken but intensely interested.</u> Futurism places her with gentlest care on the divan
and kisses the nape of her neck.) <u>Never believe anything a man says about women, when there is another man present!</u> (<u>Looking unutterably sentimental</u>) I suppose you think I am a man made of
iron, of absolute self sufficiency-- so hard--

Love

I don't think anything of the kind.

Futurism

Too hard to want to be loved-- while in reality, I have
an infinite need of tenderness. Will you be <u>very tender</u> to me?
Love (smiling whimsically and folding her hands in resignation)

Yes, dear.

Sacred Prostitute - 12

Futurism (quickly-- afraid of being bored)

But love is not an emotion of vague sentimentality!

Love _must_ be atrociously carnal-- will you be atrociously carnal-- ?

Love (calmly)

Yes, dear.

Something in her tone makes Futurism look critically at her and
then he starts again)

Futurism

You are accustomed to the pastist man who talks to you
about your soul-- I shall not talk to you like that, but I shall
reach your soul through the medium of your body.

Love

Yes, dear?

Futurism

Whereas the pastist man would have shaken hands and gone
home, leaving you inconsummate-- for women are only animals, they
have no souls.

Love

Yes, dear?

Futurism

But you have just the sort of body I like-- suave.

Sacred Prostitute - 13

Love (smoothing down her formless roseate garment)

How do you know?

Futurism

The Futurist has x-ray eyes, and ears of steel-- He can see everything without looking at it, and stand any amount of noise-- the evening breeze no longer reaches me, but the gentle vibrations of the mitrailleuses are still audible (**loudly**)

DARLING! (**Gives her a thumping whack on the thigh-- Love jumps**)

A-a-a-a-a-a-h! You are just my type, for I have never seen anything like you before! (**very rapidly** will-you-love-me-will-you-love-me-will-you-love-me-love-me-love-me-love-me-me-ME-- ??? I **must** have you-- You see I have never had you before.

Love (laughing)

But I don't want this sort of love-- it's too quick. I only want love that lasts for ever and ever.

Futurism

Do you know-- I am a type like that-- I could love forever. In me there is everything-- take out what you can. (**takes her in his arms and kisses her frantically, crying in between each half-dozen kisses**) Do-you-like-it? Do-you-like-it? Do-you-like-it?

Sacred Prostitute - 14

Love (Passively)

Yes, dear.

Futurism (flinging her away from him)

You are _fearfully_ sensual!

Love

Yes, dear

Futurism

You-deny-it?!

Love

I _didn't_ deny it.

Futurism

Ah-- I thought you would, and so I have no answer ready--
dear, beautiful and divine little woman-- you are the unique
pleasure the warm gulf of intoxication from which one emerges--
replenished-vital-like a formidable addition of Hannibal and the
Alps-- I need the brilliant chastity of your eyes to counteract
the occasional sombreness of my nerves-- I _must_ have your soul.

Love

But if I haven't got it-- what is it?

Futurism

Your soul is the ultimate profundity of your body-- give

Sacred Prostitute - 15

it to me-- and I will give you your little smile-- I have seen
you smile in my dreams. I have loved you so long, and I shall love
you forever-- I wish you would respond a little-- I demand of the
women I love to surround me with an atmosphere of intense sensuality.

## Love

You go too quick.

## Futurism

Too quick-- ! I've never spent so long on a woman in
my life! Too quick! When my love is eternal and my train leaves
in fifteen minutes-- Hurry up! and love me! (Distractedly) There
is no time to waste-- life has got to be lived -- There's no time
to stop to enjoy it!

Love (relieved) How did you find out that I'm really a woman.

## Futurism

How did I find out? Don't you realize I've dominated
all the women of two generations who were worth while-- except
a few, who got off the train at the next station-- I can tell women
when I see them-- beastly nuisances. You're the most feminine
thing I've ever found-- that's why I love you so-- I don't believe
I'm anything special to you, whereas if you were a Futurist you

Sacred Prostitute - 16

would be down on your knees before me. As you are, any ordinary
man would do just as well.

Love

Adopting your theories-- I've begun to think they would.
But as the value of sex is entirely *factitious*, I find it makes it
more precious to avoid promiscuity.

Futurism

You take too long saying things. If you left out all the
adverbs and adjectives and used the verb in the infinitive, I
might have a chance to get what I want-- before my train leaves.

Why can't you love-me-love-me-love-me? I only want to make the
little women happy-- They *always* love me. All my mistresses are
in Lunatic asylums,-- that's love if you like! Can't I make *you*
happy?

Love

What! In this atmosphere-- you litter our couch with
corpses.

(Pause)

*(Futurism sits fixing her with theatrically amative eyes-- Love smiles and walls like a cat on the tiles-- her criticism)*

Futurism

We men always carry woman in the back of our minds-- when

Sacred Prostitute - 17

it isn't one woman, it's a hundred! But you are not one woman--

You are the woman. (strokes her face with infinite tenderness,
_gazing_) Little one--

(Love throws her arms round his neck with a gesture of surrender)

## Futurism

Sweetheart-- _darling_-- loveling-- STOP. You see, directly
I begin to get sentimental you begin to like me-- pou-ah!

## Love

This game of love is too bewildering for me-- any move

I make is bound to be in the wrong direction-- it's not fair play.

## Futurism

This is not a game for fair play-- it's a game of ad-
vantages.

## Love

In which the woman starts with a handicap of 'vantage out'.

## Futurism

Women are so illogical.

## Love

So are you.

## Futurism

Futurism is diametrically opposed to logic.

Sacred Prostitute - 18

Love

But can't you see that you are being inconsecutive?

Futurism (rapturously)

Ah-- that's it-- in-con-sec-u-tive, check-mate!

(Futurism picks up Love and a handful of newspapers and stuffs them altogether into his pocket-- which he slaps with a bang. Inmates and men gradually filter back)

Men

What have you done with her?

Futurism (absent-mindedly)

Oh, everything-- and nothing.

Procuress

We are just going to have some amateur theatricals-- if
you care to stop?

Futurist

I-- dynamic-- plastic-- velocity-- stop-- !

Procuress

The play is 'Man and Woman'

Futurism

Try putting glue on the seats.

(The audience sit circlewise on the outskirts of the hall to watch the performance)

Sacred Prostitute - 19

**Don Juan** (*Confidentially laying his arm across Futurism's shoulder*)

My dear old chap, you have introduced a new tactic since
my time. I must confess, I am surprised-- you interest me! How
is it worked?

Futurism

New? I only wish it was. I am sacrificing my life to
make things new-- and only succeeding in making them louder. As
for this, it's only the eternal axiom in waging the sex-war--
that 'Man and Woman' are enemies. But that woman has one greater
enemy than man-- woman'

Don Juan

Ah, now it's recognizable-- insult to sex, to catch the
demonstrated exception?

RARELY

Futurism

Precisely. This dodge covers the whole field-- hitherto
you stopped short at maternity-- we annihilate woman completely!

Don Juan (interested)

My dear Futurism, you know this *is* new-- .

Futurism

Yes-- if it were more than a bluff-- But nature is so
uncompromising.

Sacred Prostitute - 20

Don Juan (calls)

Mammy!

(Nature comes on, looking enquiring)

Don Juan

Oh, Mammy, you must help us. Futurism has invented a new game-- we want to make our own children, evolve them from our own indomitable intellects.

Nature

Then do it-- You can't expect me to help you with your intellects, they've raced far beyond my control.

Futurism

Never mind the intellects-- they're our business. Your affair is the children-- you're the only person who understands them.

Don Juan (coaxing)

You always do what we want, dear, are we not your favorite offspring? In fact, you would be the perfect mother, if only you had restricted your family to us-- we don't want a little sister-- she's remained a child too long!

Nature

I have been looking into the feminist propaganda-- and I am already seriously considering allowing her to grow up!

Sacred Prostitute - 21

## Futurism and Don Juan

Great Heavens! Anything but that!

## Nature

I made you entirely independent, except for this question of reproduction-- and you have shown no filial gratitude whatever-- and to tell the truth, I'm beginning to feel rather out of touch with you-- you're much too tricky and inventive-- nothing ever satisfies you! I provided you with plenty of good stodgy bread and butter and you've been making jam while the fire burns-- and now you've overeaten yourselves, you want me to make you a perfect world-- with no temptations. Well, I shan't-- you'll just go on the best way you can-- until you've learnt a little self-control.

*(She goes off in a huff.)*

## Futurism

There's nothing more to be got out of *her*!-- let's identify ourselves with machinery!

## Don Juan

I shouldn't care about that-- comparing myself to a machine, I feel extremely weak, to a woman, exceedingly strong-- I *must* hang on to my cheaply bought self-respect. Let's hear some more about the latest amourous strategics.

Sacred Prostitute - 22

Futurism

Oh, very well-- Just hide behind the sofa. (with an off-hand gesture he draws love out of his pocket, scattering the newspapers, shakes Love out and stands her on the floor in front of him, taking her measure with a masterful eye as she pulls herself together). This is the sex-war.

Love

I suppose that means me-- well, here I am-- But I don't want to fight-- It's silly-- You are already victorious in being born a man.

Futurism

Come along-- you must pretend anyway. Somebody's probably looking.

(Love hands him a pair of boxing-gloves-- red flannel hearts-- and puts on a pair herself with which every point made is emphasized by a psychological blow)

Futurism

Don't mention anything I said to you last time-- You wouldn't look half so silly in the end.

(Love stands perfectly still with her hands hanging down at her sides)

sacred Prostitute - 23

Futurism

Mind (bang) it's you who are attacking me. I'm a
perfectly peaceful person playing with cannons-- until you come
and worry me away from manly pursuits.

Love (smiling)

All right-- you protect yourself against yourself with
any lies you like.

Futurism

Thanks-- I take cover behind you.

Love (presenting herself with a bow)

The FIB of the Universe.

Futurism

Then what are you telling the truth for-- You _must_ pretend
to be real or I can't hit you-- won't you kiss me?

Love

Certainly _not_.

Futurism

Certainly why not?

Love

Because you would not be contented with a kiss, but re-
proach me for leading you on-to-nowhere.

Sacred Prostitute - 24

Futurism

I promise never to ask for more-- Just one, if you don't
I'll bother you to death till you do.

(Love shrugs her shoulders-- and kisses him)

Futurism (hitting her)

It's all right-- This is not cruelty, merely nervous re-
action (with an intimate caress) And now that you have given yourself
to me--

Love

what do you mean?

Futurism

I mean that no true woman is immodest enough to kiss a
man who is not her chosen lover! (addressing the sofa) That's the
first round.

(A yawn from the sofa)

(Love and Futurism glare at each other amicably while adjusting
their boxing-gloves)

Futurism

I should get on much better if only you would come near
enough for me to whisper to you. (Love approaches. He whispers into
her ear for some minutes, while a pleased and furtive smile plays
about her lips).

Sacred Prostitute - 25

## Love

Old as time. You catch your little women with antique methods, reserving Futurism for 'later on'. All _those_ rules were compiled by a defunct civilization-- after all I can read! I assure you every time woman gives herself to man, it means a struggle between her pride and her desire. It's so stupid this appearing to succumb to diplomacy-- I know you're going to win-- You're too fundamentally dishonest not to, and I'm quite willing to be vanquished. But do fight me with new weapons-- I do want to be amused.

## Futurism (volcanically throwing aside the red flannel hearts)

Use your _Instinct_. You a woman and _can't tell_ that all this sex makes war fake is _bunkum_. Can't you just _know_ that I love you. Don't you _feel_ that you are torturing me-- that _all_ I want is to make you happy and for you to believe in me? I know, it's my bombastic voice that has a meritorious ring in it? My meridional manners? And you _don't love_ me because I am not handsome.

## Love

Oh, I don't mind _what_ you look like-- Let that confound the critics.

## Futurism

Dearest, I want to reduce you to a state of maudlin im-

Sacred Prostitute - 26

becility-- Love _must_ be swallowed whole. (The electric light goes out.) Thank heaven.

(They carry on the conversation in the low, sustained and intense tones of two people who are very much in love, of which only the following fragments are audible.)

## Futurism

To be faithful to me-- while I am never there

------------------ (Silence) ----------------- Now do you believe me?

## Love

Nearly.

## Futurism (with passionate sincerity)

You can---------- you can---------- you do---------- you

## Love (transfigured)

'Lord now lettest thou they servant depart in peace.'

## Futurism

---- do!

## Love

Good God. What am I doing-- what am I saying?-- who am I talking to? (Quotes Futurist tirade against women.)

## Futurism (imploringly)

You can't hold me responsible for anything I said last week---------- Believe in me----------

Sacred Prostitute - 27

Love

I ask nothing better than to believe in something - you -
- - - - or myself.

Futurism (briefly, his eyes blazing through her)

Do you - - - - - - in yourself.

Love

Sssssssss - - - - - - if anybody's listening, this
will end in a draw.

Futurism

Still-- there is a perfectly straightforward way of finishing this up.

Love

Oh, come on.

Futurism

It's very simple-- You won't like it. Perhaps, after all
it's the only way to make you believe in me-- .

Love

what's it called - - ?

Futurism

Just - - - BEING. (taking fresh measurements with a
thoughtful eye) Do you feel much like a woman?

Sacred Prostitute - 50

Love

I must just go and kill all the other women. Until I do,
I can't feel safe.

Futurism

You touch the other women, and I'll strangle you!

Love

Any one of them might become the mother of your children.

Futurism

You're OUT! (slapping his knee triumphantly) It's in-
rallible-- infallible-- Did you hear that? (He urags Don Juan from
behind the sofa, half asleep).

Don Juan (rubbing his eyes)

Of all the elementary old-fashioned fool's games!

Love (blinking her eyes)

It takes you a long way back!

(Futurism rushes off)

Don Juan

He's disappointing-- too primitive.

Love (enthusiastically)

Oh, one of the most delightful creatures I've met.

Sacred Prostitute - 51

(Procuress comes on with Directors of the world brothal)

Nature.

Reality (a composite person called world-flesh-and-devil they are accompanied by two inspectors)

Purity

Joy

(The inhabitants of the world Brothal flock round them).

Purity (inspecting)

what a mess!

Joy (inspecting)

How very sad!

Procuress (to directors)

we haven't succeeded in balancing accounts yet-- You see, it is not yet decided whether the demand creates the supply, or the supply the demand.

Reality

Cut that! As long as you have them both, they will total up the same.

Procuress

There's been a lot of fuss lately over the pathological and hygienic side.

world-flesh-and-devil

Leave it to me to gloss that over-- all we have to bear in