A Yorkshire Tragedy.

Oliuer. Sirrah Sam, I would not for two yeares
wages my young Miftreffe knew so much, shee'd run
vpon the left hand of her wit, and nere be her owne
woman againe.

Sam. And I thinke she was bleſt in her Cradle, that
he neuer came in her bed, why hee has confumed all,
pawnd his lands, and made his Vniuerſity Brother
ſtand in waxe for him; There's a fine phraſe for a ſcri-
uener, puh, he owes more then his skin is worth.

Oliuer. Is't poſſible ?

Sam. Nay, ile tell you moreouer, hee cals his Wife
whore, as familiarly as one would call Moll and Doll,
and his children baſtards, as naturally as can be, but
what haue we heere ? I thought twas ſomething puld
downe my Breeches : I quite forgot my two poting-
ſtickes, theſe came from London, now any thing is
good heere that comes from London.

Oliuer. I, farre fetcht you know.

Sam. But ſpeake in your confcience iſaith, haue
not we as good potingſticks i'th Country as need to
be put i'th fire, the minde of a thing is all, and as thou
ſaidſt euen now, farre fetcht is the beſt things for La-
dyes.

Oliuer. I, and for waiting gentlewomen to.

Sam. But Raphe, is our Beere ſowre this thunder ?

Raphe. No, no, it holds countenance yet.

Sam. Why then follow me, Ile teach you the fineſt
humor to be drunk in, I learnd it at London laſt weeke.

Amb. Faith lets heare it, lets heare it.

Sam. The braueſt humor, twould do a mangood to

A 2

be

# A Yorkshire Tragedy.

be drunke in it, they cal it knighting in London, when
they drinke vpon their knees.

Amb. Faith that's excellent.

Come follow me, Ile giue you all the degrees of it in
order.

Exeunt.

Enter Wife.

wife. What will become of vs? all will away,
My husband neuer ceaſſes in expence,
Both to confume his credite and his houſe.
And tis ſet downe by heauens iuſt decree,
That Ryots childe muſt needs be beggery.
Are theſe the vertues that his youth did promife?
Dice and voluptuous meetings midnight Reuels,
Taking his bed with ſurſets. Ill beſeeming
The ancient honour of his houſe and name:
And this not all, but that which kils me moſt,
When he recounts his loſſes and falſe fortunes,
The weakneſſe of his ſtate ſo much deiected,
Not as a man repentant, but halſe mad,
His fortunes cannot anſwere his expence:
He ſits and fullenly lockes vp his armes,
Forgetting heauen, looks downward, which makes
Him appeare ſo dreadfull, that he frights my heart:
Walkes heauily, as if his ſoule were earth;
Not penitent for thofe his ſins are paſt,
But vext, his money cannot make them laſt:
A fearefull melancholy, vngodly ſorrow.
Oh yonder he comes, now in deſpight of ils
Ile ſpeake to him, and I will heare him ſpeake,
And do my beſt to driue it from his heart.

Enter

A Yorkshire Tragedy.

Enter Husband.

Huf. Pox of the last throw, it made
Fiue hundred Angels vanish from my sight,
Ime damnd, Ime damnd, the Angels haue forfook me
Nay tis certainly true: for he that has no coyne,
Is damnd in this world; hee's gone, hee's gone.

Wife. Deere husband.

Huf. Oh ! most punishment of all, I haue a wife.

wife. I do intreate you as you loue your foule,
Tell me the cause of this your discontent.

Huf. A vengeance strip thee naked, thou art caufe,
Effect, quality, property, thou, thou, thou.
Exit.

wife. Bad, turn'd to worse?

Both beggery of the foule as of the body.

And so much vnlike himsselfe at first,

As if some vexed spirit had got his forme vpon him.

Enter Husband againe.

He comes againe,

He faies I am the caufe, I neuer yet

Spoke leffe then words of duty and of loue.

Huf. If marriage bee honourable, then Cuckolds
are honourable, for they cannot bee made without
marriage.

Foole, what meant I to marry to get beggers ?

Now must my eldest sonne be a knaue or nothing, he
cannot liue vpon'th foole, for he will haue no land to
maintaine him: that morgage fits like a snaffle vpon
mine inheritance, and makes me chaw vpon Iron.

My second son must be a promoter, and my third
a theefe, or an vnder-putter, a flaue Pander.

A 3

Oh.

A Yorkshire Tragedy.

Oh beggery, beggery, to what base vches doft thou put
a man.

I thinke the diuell scornes to be a Bawd.

He beares himselve more proudly, has more care on
his credite.

Base, flauish, abiect, filthy pouerty.

Wi, Good fir, by all our vowes I do beſeech you,
Shew me the true cauſe of your diſcontent.

Hu. Mony, mony, mony, & thou muſt ſupply mee.

Wi. Alas ſe, I am the leaſt cauſe of your diſcontent,
Yet what is mine, either in rings or iewels,
Vſe to your owne deſire, but I beſeech you,
As you are a gentleman by many bloods,
Though I my ſelfe be out of your reſpect,
Thinke on the ſtate of theſe three louely boyes
You haue bin father to.

Hu. Puh, Baſtards, Baſtards, Baſtards, begot in tricks,
begot in tricks.

Wi. Heauen knowes how thoſe words wrong me,
But Ile endure theſe griefes among a thouſand more
Oh call to minde your Lands already morgadge,
Your ſelfe woond into debts, your hopefull brother,
At the Vniuerſity in bonds for you,
Like to be ceaz'd vpon. And—

Hu. Ha done thou harlot,
Whom though for fathion I married,
I neuer could abide. Think ſt thou thy words
Shall kill my pleafures, fall off to thy friends,
Thou and thy baſtards beg, I will not bate
A whit in humor; Midnight ſtill I loue you,

And

A Yorkshire Tragedy.

And reuell in your company; Curbd in,
Shall it be said in all Societies,
That I broke cuftome, that I flagd in money,
No, thofe thy iewels, I will play as freely,
As when my ſtate was fulleſt.

Wife. Be it so.

Huf. Nay, I proteſt, and take that for an earneſt,

He spurns her.

I will for euer hold thee in contempt,
And neuer touch the ſheetes that couer thee,
But be diuorſt in bed, till thou confent,
Thy dowry ſhall be ſolde to giue new life
Vnto thofe pleafures which I moſt affect.

Wife. Sir, do but turne a gentle eye on me,
And what the law ſhall giue me leaue to do,
You ſhall command.

Huf. Looke it be done, ſhall I want duſt,
And like a ſlaue weare nothing in my pockets

Holds his hands in his Pockets.

But my hands to fill them vp with nayles?
Oh much againſt my blood, let it be done,
I was neuer made to be a looker on:
A baud to dice; Ile ſhake the drabs my ſelfe,
And make them yeeld, I ſay looke it be done.

Wife. I take my leaue, it ſhal.

Exit.

Hu. Speedily, speedily, I hate the very houre I choſe a Wife, a trouble, a trouble, three children like three euils hang vpon me, ſie, ſie, ſie, ſtrumpet and baſtards, ſtrumpet and baſtards.

Enter