Lea and I have just about decided to farm --- decided it would be least objectionable. I don't believe I could stand Canyon anymore --- They say and do and stand for so many things I can't be roped in for --- I can't begin to tell you what a relief it has been to get away --- running around with their eyes shut and suspicious of anyone who doesn't run with them ---

Lea tells me I'd be crazy to go back --- she is returning the tenth --- She can't stand the work and the climate up there --- Dr. Mac told her she had to come right back here - - It's almost a misfortune that Lea and I ever met because when we get together the wheels in our heads go so fast we turn over most anything.

I wanted to talk some more about Wright and Art -

## My things not Art

Well --- I'd just like to know why Art or Painting should be any particular thing ---

I'm not saying that my work is either --- you understand --- I'm quite content that it shouldn't be either if many things I've seen are.

---Why should the particular thing he is doing be Art or Painting any more than what I am doing --- Maybe Chase was the painter --- creator of Art

--- He was just as cocksure of himself as Wright --- --- I liked Wright's painting last spring better than any I ever saw ---

I would like to have it ---

I've wanted it often --- and I don't know of any other I've ever seen that I want like that one --- would like to love and care for almost like a person ---

--- Isn't that funny. I've often wondered if it would wear ---

stand daily living with ---

My things are only a means of relieving my mind ---
I don't care whether they are painting or what they are. It doesn't matter to me

["Much to my disgust I've started coughing some again -\n- Goodnight\n-", "(part omitted)", "Next morning -----", "feeling a bit queer in the head -\n- but I think I'll move anyway -- I've been\nto breakfast and got the mail -\n- I want some buttons and some paper and want to get\nout after them before anyone comes or phones.", "It would be nice to be where you don't\nknow anyone -- folks all the time and I've acquired so many new ones", "When I came in and saw the things I painted yesterday they looked\ncuriously like the sunshine feeling here --- they surprised me ---", "Your very white letter this morning. I wonder if I could have a few sheets of\nthe very white paper.", "I have a notion I would like to paint on it.", "A letter from the sister too\nAnd a note from Elizabeth\n: And a letter from Judith --\n:\n:\n:\n:\n:\n:\n:\n:\n:\n:\n:\n:\n:\

My idea was --- some colors I put together --- The thing they are in is bad
but as colors they talk --- I feel like saying I found some new colors ---
and
finding them saying something I hadn't been able to say before is like feeling some-
thing I had never felt before.

What the things have meant to you has made me conscious of myself in a way
--- Not when I work, I guess

It then ---
:...... but it seems it would be nice to live in a world
where everyone painted like everyone talks ---
there would be nothing unusual about

Guess I better quit talking about it --- I get all tangled up ---
You speak of having something
framed that you call an Embrace.

----- Well ---

I don't know what it is --- I forget about
them ---

When they are made I almost forget them --- and when they are gone to
you they are almost entirely out of my head.

It's really nice of you to keep them for me --- or for anyone --- I wouldn't
take such good care of them myself.

When I was trying to remember what you might call the Embrace I remembered
an old pastel on white paper I think that looked as if I had gone stark crazy and
all the springs in my head are broken loose at one end and sticking out --- if I
remember it was quite yellow --- the yellowest thing I ever made ---

Goodnight ---

#121

Postmarked: San Antonio Texas

Mar 16 1918

Good morning -

- I'm writing by the clock. Lea is in town --- phoned had to
go to see her father first --- he is sick in bed

--- then she is coming out.

I'm in a great hurry to see her ---

Have to go to town before noon

---Willard is sick too.

It's cold --- cool, I should say - I stayed in most of yesterday and want to stay
in today --- it's awful to have to pet yourself like this --- but coldness and
I don't seem to get on well at all so I stay home mostly when it's cold.

And Willard sounds so hoarse and spoiled and grouchy over the phone I have to
laugh at him...

I spent most of yesterday morning on the sheltered side of the depot ---
Went to meet Lea and train was hours late and she didn't come.

I saw a puttering old Mexican
out working on the roses and hedges and went out to see the flowers closer -
There
are just roses -- all one color in bloom -- almost dark red -- he was so
pleased when I admired his hedges and roses that he gave me one --

Several other
folks were waiting for trains -- waiting to meet folks - - - We looked at one another
a lot -- and some of us talked -- Only a tall very good-looking soldier and
myself -- didn't meet anyone as we expected after waiting a couple of hours or
more -- I was sorry for him but didn't tell him so because he didn't say anything to
me -- When the last folks were gone -- and he didn't find whoever he had waited
for -- he turned around and looked at me a moment -- then went on. I wish I
had spoken to him --

That's funny, isn't it —

It aggravates me that I can't find him and
speak to him yet.

While waiting I found The Way of All Flesh and read a while — then read all afternoon —

The sun is out just a little — pale — I see it on the floor.

It's hardly noticeable out the window.

Sibyl spent the night with me and read till I was too sleepy to listen —

wish I had known Samuel Butler —

I like him

Still it seems so absurd to be reading a novel when the world is like it is.

I am still trying to think what the water color you like might be — It's so
hard for me to remember them after they are gone.

I wish I had heard your talk and

wish I could see the place

The girl who handed me your letter at the G.D. window this morning remarked

— "Well, I guess I know that writing about as well as you do" — and she smiled.

—Her skin is so clean and fresh-looking and her hair so well brushed — She is
great to look at — I'd like to know her — but she is always so busy —

I like her —

Sun is gone but sky seems to be clearing.

— No, there it is on the floor —

I must be putting my hat on — you know — when you didn't like my pastels
at first I didn't care — but it made me laugh — because it seemed so funny