Remarks by Henry A. Kissinger
Dinner for Katharine Graham

June 30, 1987

Shortly after my appointment as Security Adviser I
called on President Johnson to tap the wisdom he had
acquired over decades of political experience. His advice
was simple and to the point: "Read The Washington Post
carefully every day. When they call somebody wise and
intelligent and farsighted, fire the bastard. He is your
leaker."

So I felt some trepidation when my former chief
President Nixon called Kay in my presence with the suggestion
that I instruct The Washington Post editorial board on the
error of its ways. It was one of my least successful missions
but as it turned out one of the most important events of my
life. For out of the meeting over time grew a friendship
which is one of the central facts of Nancy's and my life.

2

We all know that Kay is powerful. We are aware of
the mark The Washington Post has left on this town, on
our nation...and perhaps on some of us.

That role is legendary and will be chronicled by the
men of power--whether office holders or journalists--who
speak here tonight. I belong to neither group. I hold no
office and as for my journalistic aspirations one of the
few points of agreement between Meg Greenfield and the
Administration is that my articles are far too long.

So let me speak about Kay as a friend. In the skeptical
atmosphere of Washington, a city that prides itself on its
coldblooded assessment of utilitarian motives, nothing is
more precious than a relationship that outlasts the
fluctuations of transient careers. Every public servant would
like to leave office believing that he has made a difference.
Yet history teaches that contemporary evaluations rarely

3

match those of later generations. The miracle of a
friendship, on the other hand, asks nothing of history. It
requires above all companionship, mutual respect and a
discovery of the best qualities in the other person. Kay is
a gentle, caring, thoughtful, ever reliable friend. These
qualities are all the more remarkable in a strong, determined
and competitive person who with extraordinary discipline
recharted her life at a time when most persons' basic traits
are frozen.

When I was in government I was first astonished then
humbled by acts of grace that unerringly occurred in moments
of great tension when they were most needed--sometimes something
as simple as taking me to a neighborhood movie; or offering me
her country home. Never did Kay talk business on these
occasions. She left that to subordinates for whom my affection
was shall we say not unambiguous and to whom my sense of
obligation was highly tenuous. And the one time I challenged

4

her fierce integrity by asking her to kill a paragraph that I thought might be personally embarrassing it grew into a column.

Our friendship has deepened in the more than a decade since I left government. I once read a story of some porters on a trek who rested after a long journey for no obvious reasons and when asked said: "We want to give our souls a chance to catch up." In an age when the urgent more often than not drives out the important it is a rare blessing to know someone who does so much for the serenity of one's life. One of the most moving quotes I know is from President de Gaulle speaking of Franco-German relationships.

It went something like this: "For centuries we and the Germans have struggled and fought traversing dark forests and plains parched by the sun looking for a hidden treasure. And now we have found that there is no hidden treasure and only friendship is left for us."

5

None of us are guaranteed to know whether the quest
for the hidden treasures which absorbs so much energy is
worth it or even whether these hidden treasures exist. But
friendships such as Kay's will ennoble us forever.

And so I am here to pay tribute not to Kay's influence
or her achievements--which are great and are rightly being
celebrated--but to thank her for her human qualities. And I
am here as well in this unsentimental town to tell her on
behalf of Nancy and myself how very much she means to us.

Remarks by Henry A. Kissinger

Dinner for Katharine Graham

June 30, 1987

2

3

4

5

# Feting a 70th Edition

## Katharine Graham's Birthday Party

By Victoria Dawson
and Mike McIntyre
Washington Post Staff Writers

An hour and a half into Katharine Graham's 70th birthday party last night a traffic situation developed on Constitution Avenue. Five senators dressed in black tie couldn't get to their limousines because the street was blocked off in anticipation of the president's arrival. "We've got to go vote. They can't get in and we can't get out," Sen. Tim Wirth (D-Colo.) complained to a Secret Service man.

Connections were made eventually and Wirth regained his party posture. "We're going to build a better tomorrow," he called back lightly.

Actually, they were going to vote on the wheat gluten bill and the world they left behind wasn't so bad anyway. They missed not only the arrival of President and Mrs. Reagan but the beginning of a dinner that promised to be one of the more high-powered events of the year.

Representing the three branches of government, the media, industry, the arts and the diplomatic corps, 600 guests came to honor the chairman of The Washington Post Co. on a significant birthday.

"There's one word that brings us all together here tonight," columnist Art Buchwald told the black-tie crowd. "And that word is 'fear.'"

Among the frightened were Secretary of State George P. Shultz, Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger, Treasury Secretary James A. Baker III, Speaker of the House Jim Wright, Sens. Alan Simpson (R-Wyo.), William Cohen (R-Maine), Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.), Claiborne Pell (D-R.I.). And frightened no more, retiring Supreme Court Associate Justice Lewis Powell.

Publisher Malcolm Forbes was one of the few who came bearing a gift. "I've got a bottle of wine here," he said, pulling the dusty Chateau Lafite Rothschild out of a green can-

See BIRTHDAY, D10, Col. 1

BY HARRY NALTCHAYAN—THE WASHINGTON POST

Katharine Graham, right, Lally Weymouth and William Graham last night.

D10 WEDNESDAY, JULY 1, 1987

...

THE WASHINGTON
D.C.

# The Birth of a Birthday

## BIRTHDAY, From D1

was tote bag reading "Capitalist Toolbag." "It was laid down the same year Mrs. Graham was born," he said.

Graham had arrived 15 minutes earlier, dressed in a white and black polka dot Oscar de la Renta evening gown and accompanied by her daughter Lally Weymouth and son William Graham. Asked how she was feeling on her 70th birthday, Graham replied with a chuckle, "Ambivalent. Nobody likes to be that age." But she smiled as she said it.

"Would you like me to take off my glasses?" former secretary of state Henry Kissinger asked the crowd of photographers just before he tripped on the last step leading into the auditorium. Kissinger, one of the evening's toast-givers, said, "I'm going to give a slide lecture." "He's just joking," his wife Nancy said. And she was right. Kissinger delivered an emotional tribute to Graham's qualities as a human being and a friend.

Mayor Marion Barry, accompanied by his wife Effi wearing a short white evening dress, had a shorter message: "Happy Birthday," he said and kept walking.

On the subject of the guest of honor, CBS' Mike Wallace was at a temporary loss for words. He hesitated, thought out his response, and said, "She is a woman who in effect, I suppose, came to the job unprepared and turned out to be one of the giants of journalism in the last quarter century."

Inside, the giant of journalism was seated between the president and her tennis partner Secretary Schultz. To the president's left was Brooke Astor. At a nearby table, Mrs. Reagan was seated between Post Publisher Donald E. Graham and Wallace. After the fish course (salmon), the president danced with Mrs. Graham to the music of Peterchin and his orchestra.

Other guests attending were Rupert Murdoch of News Corp. Ltd., Frank Batten of the Associated Press, Otis Chandler of Times-Mirror, CBS Chairman William Paley, Washington Monthly Editor in Chief Charles Peters and New York Times Publisher Arthur O. Sulzberger. From the world of industry: John F. Akers of IBM, John Welch of General Electric, Roger Smith of General Motors, Donald Petersen of Ford, Akio Morita of Sony.

Also: Swedish Ambassador Count Wilhelm Wachtmeister, former British Prime Minister James Callaghan and his daughter Margaret Jay, former Urban League president Vernon Jordan, British Ambassador Antony Acland, Supreme Court Justices Sandra Day O'Connor and Byron R. White, and National Gallery Director J. Carter Brown, Laughlin Phillips of the Phillips Gallery, director George Stevens, architect I.M. Pei, Jack Valenti of the Motion Picture Association of America, and long-time friends Joseph Alsop and Polly and Clayton Fritchey.

Other guests attending were New York Times Executive Editor Max Frankel, CBS' Leslie Stahl, ABC's Barbara Walters, Ted Koppel and Peter Jennings, columnist George Will.

Additionally: billionaire H. Ross Perot, Berkshire, Hathaway Inc. Chairman Warren Buffett, former ambassador Clare Boothe Luce, Kity Carlisle Hart, Oscar de la Renta, Ethel Kennedy, authors Nick Pileggi and Nora Ephron, Gordon and Ann Getty.

From the international community: Hannelore Kohl, wife of West German Chancellor Helmut Kohl; novelist Sondra Gotlieb, wife of Canadian Ambassador Allan Gotlieb; and former Israeli prime minister Yitzhak Rabin.

From the political world: Cabinet members Malcolm Baldrige (Commerce) and Elizabeth Dole (Transportation), Sens. Bill Bradley (D-N.J.), Richard Lugar (R-Ind.), John Heinz (R-Pa.), John Danforth (R-Mo.), Daniel Patrick Moynihan (D-N.Y.), Robert Graham (D-Fla.) and John D. Rockefeller IV (D-W.Va.), Kissinger, former secretary of defense Robert McNamara, former presidential adviser Michael K. Deaver and former National Security adviser Robert McFarlane.

From The Post: Executive Editor Benjamin C. Bradlee, Editorial Page Editor Meg Greenfield, Managing Editor Leonard Downie Jr., Deputy Editorial Page Editor Stephen Rosenfeld, Assistant Managing Editor Bob Woodward, Associate Editor and Chief Foreign Correspondent Jim Hoagland, national reporter Walter Pincus, cartoonist Herblock and President Richard D. Simmons.

"Mr. President, I don't want you to get the impression this evening that the people you have met from The Washington Post are the only ones who work there," Buchwald, as one of the evening's eight toast-givers, told the guests. "Actually, the Post people here this evening in their black ties and beautiful gowns all sell classified advertising. The people who do the real work on the paper can be found back on 15th Street, in the basement, locked in cages. They have hair all over their bodies, and every time they come up with a story knocking the administration, Mrs. Graham gives them a banana."

Kissinger, addressing the crowd, took note of "the mark The Washington Post has left on this town, on our nation . . . and perhaps on some of us." He admitted that he "felt some trepidation when my former chief, President Nixon, called Kay in my presence with the suggestion that I instruct The Washington Post editorial board on the error of its ways. It was one of my least successful missions but as it turned out one of the most important events of my life. For out of the meeting over time grew a friendship which is one of the central facts of Nancy's and my life."

STON POST

Henry and Nancy Kissinger, left, and Malcolm Forbes arriving last night.

PHOTOS BY HARRY NALTCHAYAN—THE WASHINGTON POST

Other toasts were to be offered by the president, Shultz, Weymouth, son Stephen Graham, Greenfield and Will. "The idea for the evening is to avoid speeches," Will said yesterday. "I'm just offering a small toast," he said.

"It's sure to be a super-duper party," said Midge Baldrige, wife of Secretary Baldrige, yesterday afternoon. "I was delighted to celebrate the birthday of a woman leader—our token CEO, Fortune 500." She planned to wear a pale blue beaded dress. "I bought it at Loehmann's just for the occasion."

Several of the guests stopped in for cocktails at the Corcoran Gallery's opening for its Wyeth show. "I think everybody in town—all the beautiful people—will be there," said Daniel Boorstin, outgoing librarian of Congress, who was on his way. "Work comes first," said Muffie Brandon, of Rogers & Cowan, who was putting on the Corcoran party. "I'm there in spirit."

The party was organized and hosted by Graham's four children—Weymouth, William W. Graham, Stephen M. Graham and Post Publisher Donald E. Graham and his wife Mary. New York caterer Glorious Food and florist Bobby Isabell provided the decor and victuals (including beef fillet with cucumber sauce, summer vegetables, birthday cake, sherbet and berries).

Copies of a four-page mock edition of The Washington Post were circulated among the guests. "Katharine Graham Says 'No' to Birthday: Rejects Any Hoopla, Opts for A Quiet Evening at Home," read the banner headline. Guest reporters included Arthur Schlesinger Jr., George "Secretary" Shultz, Buffett, Post TV critic Tom Shales and former Democratic Party national chairman Bob Strauss and Buchwald.

"Yes, ladies and gentlemen, tonight we honor a woman who was willing to go to jail rather than reveal the identity of Deep Throat. Not that she knew who Deep Throat was, but her lawyers advised her to go to jail anyway," wrote Buchwald in the lead story.

From the Corrections column: "Due to a typographical error in yesterday's editions, Katharine Graham's age was reported as 'seveny-ish.' Mrs. Graham is thirty-two."

For the editorial page, Herblock drew a cartoon featuring a toddler Graham spelling "WASH POST" with building blocks at the feet of her father Eugene Meyer. "Agnes, I think Katharine here is trying to tell us something," the caption read.

Pictures of Graham with the last five presidents were gathered in a photo essay titled "I Never Met a President I Didn't Like—Or Liked Me."

A Style section headline announced that "Graham Wins Best-

Dressed Award," showing photos of her in a ball mask, in a 1960s mini-skirt and with her head protruding from a tank.

Though the evening was off limits to media coverage, glimmers of the event were in evidence earlier in the afternoon.

Round dinner tables—set up in the main ballroom—were covered with magenta taffeta tablecloths and adorned with silver plates and flatware. Embellishments included 60-foot-high curtains draped from the columns in the main ballroom and black-and-white photographic enlargements of Graham at memorable moments in her career.

Flowers—including centerpiece arrangements of orange and pink roses—were staying cool in a refrigerated truck. "They were flown in from "New York," said the driver. "I've been told not to talk to anyone. We've been hounded by the New York press for a week already."

Martha Sherrill Dailey contributed to this story.

[Y]

2

So let me speak about Kay as a friend. In the skeptical
atmosphere of Washington a city that prides itself on its
coldblooded assessment of utilitarian motives, nothing is
more precious than a relationship that outlasts the
fluctuations of transient careers. EveryAservant would
like to leave office believing that he has made a difference.
Yet history teaches that contemporary evaluations rarely

3

It requires *above all* little beyond companionship, mutual respect and
a discovery of the best qualities in the other person. Kay
is a gentle, caring, thoughtful, ever reliable friend. When

I was in government I was first astonished then humbled by
acts of grace that unerringly occurred in moments of great
tension when they were most needed--sometimes something as
simple as taking me to a neighborhood movie; or offering me
her country home. Never did Kay talk business on these
occasions. She left that to subordinates for whom my affection
was shall we say not unambiguous and to whom my sense of
obligation was highly tenuous. And the one time I challenged
her fierce integrity by asking her to kill a paragraph that
I thought might be personally embarrassing it grew into a
column.

* These qualities are all the more remarkable in a strong,
determined & competitive person who w/ extraordinary
discipline, re charted her life at a time when most persons
basic traits are frozen.

4

Our friendship has deepened in the more than a decade
since I left government. I once read a story of some porters
on a trek who rested after a long journey for no obvious
reasons and when asked said: "We want to give our souls a
chance to catch up." In an age when the urgent more often
than not drives out the important it is a rare blessing
grace to know someone who does so much for the serenity of
one's life. One of the most moving quotes I know is from
President de Gaulle speaking of Franco-German relationships.
It went something like this: "For centuries we and the
Germans have struggled & fought traversing dark forests and plains
parched by the sun looking for a hidden treasure. And now
we have found that there is no hidden treasure and only
friendship is left for us."

As usual de Gaulle was profound. None of us are
guaranteed to know whether the quest for the hidden treasures

5

And so I am here to pay tribute not to Kay's influence
or her achievements--which are great and are rightly being
celebrated--but to thank her for her human qualities. And I
am here as well in this unsentimental town to tell her on
behalf of Nancy and myself *that we love her very much.*
*how very much she means to us.*

JUN. 30 '87 15:09 KISSINGER ASSOCIATES N.Y.

P.004

3

companionship and mutual respect. Kay is a gentle, caring, thoughtful, ever reliable friend. When I was in government I was first astonished, then humbled, by acts of grace that unerringly occurred when they were most needed in moments of great tension—sometimes something as simple as taking me to a neighborhood movie or offering me her country home. Cynics will call this good public relations. But never did Kay ask for a favor or talk business on those occasions. She left the news contact to subordinates for whom my affection was, shall we say, not unambiguous. And the one time I challenged her fierce integrity by asking her to kill a paragraph that I thought might be personally embarrassing it grew into a column.

Our friendship has only deepened in the more than a decade since I left government, after which neither of us was in a position to do anything practical for the other.

JUN. 30 '87 15:10 KISSINGER ASSOCIATES N.Y.

4

P.005

I once read a story of some porters on a trek who rested after a long journey for no obvious reasons and when asked said: "We want to give our souls a chance to catch up." At a time when the urgent so often drives out the important, it is an act of grace to know someone who does so much for the serenity of life. One of the most moving experiences of my governmental career was to hear President de Gaulle speak of Franco-German relationships. He said something like this: "For centuries we and the Germans have struggled, traversing dark forests and plains parched by the sun, looking for hidden treasure. And now we have found that there is no hidden treasure and only friendship is left, for us."

As usual de Gaulle was profound. None of us will ever know whether the quest for the hidden treasures which absorb our energies is worth it, or even whether these hidden treasures exist. But friendships such as ours will ennoble us forever.

JUN. 30 '87 15:11 KISSINGER ASSOCIATES N.Y.

P.006

3

And so I am here to pay tribute not to Kay's influence
or her achievements--which are great and are rightly being
celebrated--but to thank her for her human qualities, and in
here, as well, in this unsentimental town, to tell her also on behalf of Nancy and
myself that we love her very much.

2

of it in time grew a friendship which is one of the central
facts of Nancy's and my life.

We all know that Kay is powerful. We are aware of the
mark The Washington Post has left on this town, on our
history...and perhaps on some of us.

But this history will be known to the key groups of
this town which are men of power and journalists. I belong
to neither group. So I want to say a few words about Kay as
a friend. In the skeptical atmosphere of Washington which
prides itself on its coldblooded assessment of utilitarian
motives, nothing is more precious than a relationship that
outlasts the fluctuations of individual careers. Every
official would like to make a difference; history however
does not work in cycles to permit reliable contemporary
evaluation. But history is not needed to recognize the
miracle of a friendship asking nothing except the joy of

3

companionship and mutual respect. Kay is a gentle, caring,
thoughtful, ever reliable friend. When I was in government
I was first astonished then humbled by acts of grace that
unerringly occurred when they were most needed in moments
of great tension--sometimes something as simple as taking
me to a neighborhood movie; or offering me her country
home. Cynics will call this good public relations. But
never did Kay ask for a favor or talk business on these
occasions. She left the news contact to subordinates for
whom my affection was shall we say not unambiguous. And
the one time I challenged her fierce integrity by asking
her to kill a paragraph that I thought might be personally
embarrassing it grew into a column.

That friendship has only deepened in the more than a
decade since I left government after which neither of us was
in a position to do anything practical for the other.

4

I once read a story of some porters on a trek who rested after a long journey for no obvious reasons and when asked said: "We want to give our souls a chance to catch up." At a time where the urgent so often drives out the important it is an act of grace to know someone who does so much for the serenity of life. One of the most moving experiences of my governmental career was to hear President de Gaulle speak of Franco-German relationships. He said something like this: "For centuries we and the Germans have struggled traversing dark forests and plains parched by the sun looking for a hidden treasure. And now we have found that there is no hidden treasure and only friendship is left for us."

As usual de Gaulle was profound. None of us will ever know whether the quest for hidden treasures absorbs our energies and whether they exist. But friendships such as Kay's will ennoble us forever.

5

And so I am here to pay tribute not to Kay's influence
or her achievements--which are great and are rightly being
celebrated--but to thank her for her human qualities and in
this unsentimental town to tell her also on behalf of Nancy
that we love her very much.

#1

CJ

Shortly after my appointment as Security Adviser I called on President Johnson to learn the wisdom acquired over decades of political experience. He said simply: "Read The Washington Post carefully every day. When they call somebody wise and intelligent and farsighted, fire the bastard. He is your leaker." Little did it occur to me then that one day I would participate in a celebration of Kay Graham's birthday on government property in a Republican Administration. Or that she would find the simplest solution to the problem of leaking by barring the press from the affair.

I was introduced to Kay when my former chief President Nixon called her to suggest that I meet with The Washington Post editorial board to show it the error of its ways. It was one of my least successful missions. But it turned out to be one of the most important visits of my life. For out

3

the miracle of a friendship based on the constant discovery of new and valuable qualities, asking nothing except the mutual respect of joy of companionship. Kay is a gentle, caring, thoughtful, ever reliable friend. When I was in government I was first astonished then humbled by acts of grace that unerringly occurred when they were most needed in moments of great tension--sometimes something as simple as taking me to a neighborhood movie; or offering me her country home.

She left the news contact to subordinates for whom affection was shall we say not unambiguous. And the one I challenged her to kill a paragraph that I thought might be personally embarrassing it grew into a column.

That friendship has only deepened in the more than a decade since I left government. No one was in a position to after whom neither was.