# The QUACK-DOCTOR'S SPEECH
To the Credulous M O B.

Supposed to be Spoke by the Famous Lord ROCHESTER.

GENTLEMEN,

I WALTHO Van Clauturbank, High German Doctor, Chymift and Dentrificator, native of Arabia Deferta, Citizen and Burgomafter of the city of Brandipolis, fe-venth fon of a feventh fon, unborn Doctor, of above 60 years experience; having fludted over Galen, Hypo-creates, Albumazar and Paracelfus, am now become the Œculapius of this age: having been educated at 12 Uni-versities, and travelled through 52 kingdoms, and been Councillor to the Councillors of several Monarchs, natu-ral fon of the wonder-working chymical Doctor, Signior Haneſio, lately arrived from the fartheſt part of Utopia, famous throughout all Africa, Africa, Europe, and America, from the Sun's Oriental Exaltation, to his Occidental Declination: Out of mere pity to my own dear felf and languifhing mortals, have by the earnſt prayers and en-treaties of several Lords, Dukes and honourable Perſon-ages, been at laſt prevailed upon to oblige the world with this notice.

That all perſons young or old, blind or lame, deaf, or dumb, curable or incurable, may know where to repair for cure, in all Cephalalgias, Paralytic Paroxyms, Pal-pitations of the Pericardium, Empyemas, Syncopes and Naſieties, arifing either from a Plethory or a Cacothymy, Vertiginous Vapours, Hydiocephalus, Difſlererys, Odon-talgic or Podagrical Inflammations, Iliac Paffions, Iſte-rial Effuſions, Exanthemata, the Hen Pox, the Hog Pox, the Whores Pox, and the Small Pox, the Aſcites, Tymanpitces, Aſaſarca, and the entire Legion of Lethi-ferous Difſempers.

Imprimis, Gentlemen, I have a never-failing ſyptic, corroborating, odoriferous, anodinous balfamic ballam of balfams, made of dead mens fat, roſin and geole greaſe; which infallibly reſloſes loft maidenheads, raſes demolif-hed noſes, and by its afterſive, Coſmetic quality, preferves ſuperannuated bawds from wrinkles.

Item, I have the true Carthamophora of the tripple kingdom, my never-failing Heliogenes, being the Tinc-ture of the Sun, deriving vigour, influence and dominion from the fame light: It cauſes all complexions to laugh or ſmile, at the very time of taking it: Is feven years in preparing, and being compleated, ſecundum artem, by Fermentation, Cohobation, Calcination, Sublimation, Fixation, Philtration, Circulation and Quidlibitification, in Balneo Mariæ, Crucible and Fixatory, the Athanor, Cucurbita and Reverberatory, is the only ſovereign me-dicine in the world.

This is Nature's Palladium, Health's Magazine; it works ſeven manner of ways, in order as Nature itſelf re-quires, for it ſcorns to be confined to any particular way of operation; ſo that it effecteth the cure, either Hypnoti-cally, Hydrotically, Cathartically, Poppifmatically, Hy-drogogically, Pneumatically, or Synecdochically; it mun-difies the Hypogaſtrium, wipes off afterſively, thofe te-nacious conglomerated ſedimental Sordes, that where to Ceſophagus and Vicera; extinguifhes all Supernatural Fermentations and Ebulitions, and in fine, annihilates all Nofotrophical morbificideas of the whole Corporeal Com-pages. A drachm of it is worth a bufhel of March Duſt: For if a man chance to have his brains beat out, or his head chopped off, two drops, (I ſay, two drops, Gentle-men) feaonably applied, will recall the ſleeting Spirits, reinſhrone the depofed Archeus, cement the difcontinuity of the parts, and in fix minutes reſtores the lifeleſs trunk to all its prilſive Functions, Vital, Natural and Animal:

So, that this, believe me, Gentlemen, is the only Sove- reign Remedy in the world.

I have the chiefest Antepudenda Gragan Specific in Venus's Regalia, which infallibly cures the French Pox, with all its train of Gonorrhées, Buboes and Shankers, Carnofities, Phymofis, Paraphymofis, Chriſtallines, Pri-aſpimus, Caudalomata and Ragades, without Baths and Stoves, and that with as much pleasure as the fame was contrasted; ſo that its worth any perſons while to get this modiſh diſlemper once a fortnight, if it be to be had for love or money, to enjoy the benefit of ſo diverting a re-medy.

I have the Panoſhymagogon of Hermes Trismegiſtus, an incomparable Spagyrie Tincture of the Moon's Horns, which is the only infallible Antidote againſt the contagion of القوليد.

Befides my Vermiſugus Pulvis, or Antivermatical Worm conquering Powder, ſo famous for defroying all the forſts of them, incident to human bodies, breaking their com-plicated knots in the Duodenum, and diffolving the pleg-matic Crudites that produce these Anthropobagous Ver-mine: it hath brought away Worms by urine, as long as the May-pole in the Strand, when it flourifhed in its pri-mitive prolixy, though I confes not altogether ſo thick.

Look ye, Gentlemen. I have it under the Hands and Seals of all the grealeſt Sultans, Sophys, Bafhaws, Viziers, Chams, Seraſquiere, Muſtis, &c. in Chriſtendom, to veri-ficate the truth of my operations, that I have actually per-formed ſuch cures as are really beyond human abilities.

I cured Preſtor John's Godmother, to the great admi-ration of all the Court, of a ſupendous dolor, about the Os Sacrum, ſo that the old lady really feared the perdition of her huckle bone; I did it by fomenting her poſteriors with a Mummy of Nature, alias called Pilgrim's Salve, mixed up with the Spirit of Mugwort, tartaragraphated through an Alembic of Chriſtalline Transfluency.

Thence I was ſent for to Sultan Gilgon, Deſpot of Bofnia, who was violently afflied with the Spafmus, he came to meet me 300 leagues in a go-cart, but I gave him ſo ſpeedy an acquittance of his Dolor, that the next night I cauſed him to dance a Saraband with Flipflaps and So-merlets.

I reſtored Virility and the Comforts of Generation to above 150 Eunuchs in the Grand Seignior's Seraglio, and by a pair of prolific Pills; lateiy cauſed a Vintner's Widow, who had been barren all her days, to conceive of a Man Child in the Twelfth Luſtre of her age, without the help of her Hufband.

I cured likewife the Dutchefs of Baramolpho, of a cramp in her tongue, and the Count de Rodomontado Corrept, with an Iliac Paffion, contracted by eating but-tered Parſnips.

I alſo cured an Alderman of Grand Cairo, who had been ſick 7 years of the Plague, in 46 minutes: and by the like Empyrical Remedies, I lately cured Duke Phi-lorix, of a Dropſy, of which he died.

Venienti occurrite morbo, Down with your Duſt, Principis obſla. No Cure, no Money. Quærena Pecuia Premium. Be not ſick too late.

You that are willing to render yourſelves immortal, buy this Pacquet, or eſſe repair to the Sign of the Pran-cers, in Vico vulgo dicto Ratcliffero, ſomething South-Eaſt of Templum Danicum, in the Square of Profound Cloſe, not far from Titter Tatter Fair, and you may hear, fee, and return Re-inſetta.

(Price ONE PENNY.)

Printed at No. 41, take Notice pray,
Leadenhall-Street, the Little a,

London is needleſ, without Doubt,
Only it makes the Metre out.