The last Speech, Confection, and Dying Words,
OF
A QUEEN ANN'S GUINEA,

Who was tried, and condemned, on a late Act of Parliament, for being too light;
and executed by the unmerciful Hands of a Butcher, in SALISBURY MARKET.

GENTLEMEN SPECTATORS,

AS it is customary for persons in my unhappy
situation, to make some confection, and give a
particular account of themselves; therefore as I am
about to suffer so shamefull, painful, and ignominious
a death, I can have no motive to declare a falfity, there-
fore you may depend on the truth and veracity of what
I now say. I do here moft Solemnly declare that I am
entirely innocent of the crimes laid to my charge, and
that I never was unlawfully diminished, by filing, clip-
ping, or any other means, and that my lightneſs came
merely by wear; I do not say lawful wear, for as I
understand that gaming is not lawful in this Kingdom,
and as moſt of my Wear has proceeded from that,
therefore I omit the word lawful. I was coin'd in the
year 1750, being the third of the reign of Queen Ann:
I was directly iffued into the treafury, and from thence
to pay the Salary of one of the lords of the bedcham-
ber. I further declare, that I was coined of as good
gold as any that ever was before or ſince, and which
my worſt enemies cannot deny but I am ſo fill. But
when you confider impartially how often I have been
ſhuffled, buſled, and toſſed about at gaming, by Dukes,
Earls, Lords, and Ladies, of all Ranks and Ages; that
however juſt Sir Isaac Newton's calculations may be, I
declare that I have loſt more of my Weight in one
Evening by being ſo ſhuffled and rubbed about, than
his whole Allowance of a Farthing a Year.

And when you farther confider how often I have
been ſifted and counted backward and forward, at the
Bank and Treasury Office, &c. &c. how often I have
been carried about loofe in Gentlemen's Pockets among
Silver, &c. how often I have been jolted and rubbed
by them when riding; and indeed now of late among
the farmers, graziers, &c. who ſince the exorbitant
and extortionate price of provifions, make no more of
me than they uſed to do of a ſhilling. And indeed the
generality of them have got more of my ſellows than
they uſed to have of ſhillings. Likewise how often
and how many merchants, and ſhopkeepers counters I
have been counted over; and have been told and retold
by innumerable hands of all forts that I have paffed
thro', where I have met with good and bad uſage.

But I never met with ſuch good treatment as when
I chanced to get into a poor man's hands; for he gene-
rally wrapt me in a piece of paper, and took ſuch care
of me, that I never ſuffered the leaſt dimunition in his
cuſtody. But ſince the dearneſs of provifions, I have
ſeldom had the happineſs to come into their hands; and
I never had ſuch a long reſt, as when I once was locked
up in a picher's cheſt for five years; being never diſtur-
bed, but twice a year, when he took it in his head to
have the pleafure of counting us, and which was the
grealeſt pleafure he ever had. And here I found that

I got more wear by circulating one month, and doing
univerſal good, than thouſands of my ſellows, who had
been dormant in this ſellow's cheſt for thirty years, and
who may eſcape my ſevere and unjuſt ſate, by having
the fortune to be hoarded up, and do leſs good than I.

And now that I have made this full, true confection,
permit me to shew you this picture, and give you my
advice. Behold in me the mutability, uncertainty, and
vanity of all worldly grandeur, greatneſs, and power. —
I, whose body was compoſed of the moſt beautiful and
precious ſubſtance that this world affords, and received
the greatest name and title that this country ever be-
ſtowed, even to a bye-word; for the uſual appellation
to diſtinguish any thing fine and good, is—Nothing can
beat it, but a QUEEN ANN's GUINEA.

I, who have been the companion of Kings, Princes,
Dukes, Lords, &c., and have thought themselves hon-
noured by poffeſſing me: I, whose power was ſo great,
that the power of the greatest Emperors and Monarchs
is extended, or contraſled, according to the greater
or leſs quantity of me they have. It is I who ſſembles
mighty armies, and give them ſpirit and courage to
ſight; and cauſe Fleets to ride triumphant on the leas.
It is I who give motion to the tongue of the Lawyer
and Divine, and cauſeth the Phyſician to exert his
ſkill;—and I who have cauſed the heart of the moſt
cruel Fair to melt and yeld to the embraces of the love;
and the cauſe-hardened breast of the Jailor and Executi-
oner, to diſolve in pity; who rejoiced the heart of the
poor, and diſuſed happineſs where ever I came. But
now, behold me diſrobed of that power, deſpised and
contemn'd, and unable to help my ſelſ. Think of this
ye great, ye rich, ye proud, for your ſtate is as uncertain
as mine; and all ranks of ye, depend upon it, will be
weighed in the strict balance of Juſtice, by the Al-
mighty, and if found deficient, will be cut in pieces
by his power and wrath.

And, Gentlemen, my advice to remedy as much as
poffible this confusion that is among you, is, to make
no objections, except when vifibly bad. My hiftory,
which you no doubt expected, is too long for the time
I am permitted to remain here, but which I have left
with my Printer, who promiſes this; and as I have taken
care to deſcribe the various Characters I have gone
thro', and as I have been in the poffeffion of both Ma-
jority and Minority, & admitted to all their moſt ſecre
Councils, it cannot fail but be inſtruſtive and enter-
taining, and he promiſes me he will ſoon publifh it for
the benefit of the world.

When he ſinſhed theſe words, the Butcher laid him
on the block, and at one blow with his mighty cleaver
fevered him in two, to the great forrow and loſs of
his Owner.