MONSIEUR KANIFERSTANE.

A TALE.

ONCE on a time, a little French Marquis
For travel felt a mighty inclination :

To shew himself, and foreign parts to see,
He undertook a bold peregrination.

At DIEPPE he found a sloop just under weigh,
By *Dutchmen* mann'd, and bound for AMSTERDAM;

Wind and tide serving, off he sail'd away,
And, soon sea-sick, beyond finesse or sham,

Close in the cabin he preferr'd to nestle.

There, faint and languid, for a space he doz'd,
Till, from th' increas'd commotion in the vessel,
That land might be in sight he well suppos'd :

So to the deck he climb'd with empty maw,
And, sure enough, *Dutch Terra Firma* saw.

While in the cabin sick and sad he lay,

Tho' a true *Frenchman*, he ne'er dreamt of talking;

But, when on deck, his spirits grew more gay,
And his blood 'gan to circulate with walking,

He recollected that he had a tongue.

Now, tho' a *Frenchman* French with ease can jabber,
And, doubtless thinks all other ears are hung

Like those he left at home, yet a *Dutch Swabber*
Is apt enough no other speech to know,
Than that which first he learn'd from *Mother Frow*.

Such was the case of all the trunk-hos'd crew.

The Marquis, struck with wonder and delight,
Enraptur'd gaz'd on objects all so new.

At length a sumptuous Palace caught his sight;

Which, proudly rising from the water's side,
Shew'd its new-painted front with flow'rets gay;

While trim responsive gardens spreading wide,
Display'd Dutch taste in regular array.

Anxious to know who own'd the pleasing scene,
The Marquis, bowing, with a grinning face,

Demanded of a Tar, in French I ween,

" To whom belong'd that most enchanting place? "

The Tar, who knew as much of *French* as *Greek*,
Ey'd him at first with something like disdain;

Then, as he shifted round his quid to speak,

With growling voice cry'd, "*Ik kan niet verstaan*.*"

"Oh! ho!" reply'd the Marquis, "does it so!

"To Monsieur Kaniferstane! lucky man!"

"The Palace, to be sure, lies rather low;

"But, then, the size and grandeur of the plan !

"I never saw a Chateau on the *Seine*,

"Equal to this of Monsieur Kaniferstane."

While thus he spoke, the Sailor's anchor cast.
As the Marquis descended on the Quay,

He saw a charming Frow that chanc'd to pass,
In liveliest bloom of youth and beauty gay,

Bdeck'd with all the AMSTERDAM parade

Of gold and silver, pearls and jewels rare.

On the Marquis she much impression made:

His tinder breast soon own'd a pleasing flame;
Stopping a passenger, he, bowing, said,

" Monsieur, pray tell me who's that lovely dame ?
The civil *Dutchman* bow'd to him again,
And gently answer'd, " *Ik kan niet verstaan.* "

" What! Monsieur Kaniferstane's wife !" the Marquis cry'd,

" He who has got yon gay and sumptuous house !

" Well! that some men have luck can't be deny'd;

" What! such an Edifice and such a Spouse ?

" Ma foi! I think I never should complain,

"Had I the lot of Monsieur Kaniferstane."

As, on the morrow, thro' the streets he pass'd,
Gazing on all the pretty sights about,

On a large open Hall his sight he cast,

Where bustling crows were going in and out.

Joining the throng he entrance soon obtain'd,

And found the people much engag'd to see

The numbers which the blanks and prizes gain'd
In their High Mightinesses Lottery.

Some laugh'd, some wept, some groan'd, and some exclaim'd,
In all the spirit of true castle-builders,

When, on a sudden, a loud voice proclaim'd

The sov'reign prize of *Twenty Thousand Guilders* !

" And who," the Marquis cry'd, to one close by,
" Who has the luck this mighty prize to gain?"

The man survey'd him with a doubtful eye,

And slowly answered, " *Ik kan niet verstaan.* "

" What! Monsieur Kaniferstane got the prize !"

The Marquis cry'd, "he's lucky on my life ;

" He who has got a house of such a size,

" And such a garden, too, and such a wife ?

" Diable ! you may very well be vain

" With all these treasures, Monsieur Kaniferstane !"

A week or two elaps'd, when, as he stray'd,
On novelty intent, he chanc'd to meet,

Adorn'd with solemn pomp and grave parade,
A sumptuous Burial coming up the street.

" Monsieur," said he, as bowing to a Baker,
Who left his shop the pageantry to see,

And just had nodded to the Undertaker,

" Pray, Monsieur, whose grand burial may this be ?"

The Baker, as he turn'd to shop again,

Reply'd most gravely, " *Ik kan niet verstaan.* "

" Mon Dieu! " exclaim'd the Marquis, " What a pity !
" Monsieur Kaniferstane! What surprise !"

" He had the noblest Palace in this City !

" And such a wife! and such a glorious prize !

" Alack! alack! good fortune smiles in vain;

"So rest in peace, good Monsieur Kaniferstane."

* This means, "I do not understand you."