JANUARY 7, 1977

TRAVELLING PRESS DINNER

JANUARY 7, 1977

FELLOW TRAVELLERS:

I THOUGHT I HAD BETTER SAY WHAT I HAD TO SAY BEFORE I
LOSE ONE-HALF OF THE AUDIENCE TO THE LIAR'S POKER GAME. BOB
FUNSETH TOLD ME BEFORE I START SPEAKING I SHOULD SAY THAT
ANYTHING SAID TONIGHT IS OFF THE RECORD. MY DEFINITION OF
OFF THE RECORD IS THAT I CAN USE ANYTHING I SAY IN MY MEMOIRS
AND YOU CANNOT USE IT IN YOURS.

WHEN I THOUGHT OF HAVING THIS ONE LAST MEAL WITH MY
TRAVELLING COMPANIONS I THOUGHT FOR OLD TIMES SAKE WE COULD HAVE
IT IN THE 707. BUT MY STAFF TELLS ME THAT BECAUSE CYRUS VANCE
SAYS HE DOESN'T INTEND TO TRAVEL AS MUCH AS I HAVE, THE
AIF FORCE HAS DECIDED TO RETIRE THE 707 AND TURN IT INTO A MUSEUM
OUT AT ANDREWS. IN FACT, IT IS GOING TO BE A WAX MUSEUM
OPEN TO TOURISTS -- LIKE MADAM TUSSAUD'S MUSEUM IN LONDON.

THE STEWARDS ON THE PLANE HAVE PROPOSED WAX LIKENESSES OF YOU ALL--
(TRANSITION TEAM PLEASE NOTICE NEW ACCENT), AND PUT YOU IN YOUR
PREFERRED SEATS: BERGER NEXT TO O'LEARY, GROWALD NEXT TO

FREED, ETC.

and so forth.

2

[Y]

AND THEN THERE WILL BE A DIORAMA OF THE FLYING LIAR'S
POKER GAME, BUT BECAUSE THAT GAME WAS ON DEEP BACKGROUND
I WON'T REVEAL TO YOUR SPOUSES WHO PLAYED.

WE DIDN'T MIND THE GAMBLING AT THE BACK OF THE
ACTUALLY PLANE BUT WHEN VALERIANI INTICED DAVID TO JOIN IT, NANCY REALLY
A RAISED HELL ABOUT THE CORRUPTION OF A MINOR. I WAS INCLINED TO
AGREE WITH HER AND STARTED TO THE BACK OF THE PLANE TO TAKE
COMING DAVID BACK UP FRONT, WHEN I MET A GRINNING DAVID GOME TOWARD
ME HAPPILY CLUTCHING SOME MONEY HE HAD WON FROM YOU INTELLECTUALS.
MY ANGER WAS QUICKLY TRANSFORMED INTO PRIDE. HE OBVIOUSLY
WAS FOLLOWING IN HIS FATHER'S FOOTSTEPS AND BEATING THE PRESS
AT ITS OWN GAME.

ONE FINAL THING ABOUT THE 707 WAX MUSEUM -- I HAVE ASKED THAT
THE WAX FIGURE OF ME BE MOVED FROM MY CABIN TO THE CAPTAIN'S
SEAT IN THE COCKPIT.

WELL, EVEN THOUGH WE COULDN'T BE TOGETHER IN THE AIRPLANE,
THE STEWARDS SENT SOME WINE LEFT OVER FROM THE LAST TRIP, SO
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT.

3

[N]

SERIOUSLY, NANCY AND I ARE VERY HAPPY THAT YOU COULD BE WITH US THIS EVENING. AND IF YOU HAD HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCE I HAD LAST NIGHT IN THIS ROOM, YOU WOULD BE VERY HAPPY TO BE HERE TONIGHT AND NOT LAST NIGHT. THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT TOOK OVER THIS ROOM LAST NIGHT TO GIVE A FAREWELL RECEPTION FOR BILL SIMON AND PAST THE WORD TO ALL GUESTS THEY HAD TO PAY $15 TO COME. AS I WAS ENTERING THIS ROOM I WAS STOPPED BY A COUPLE OF BIG GUYS FROM TREASURY WHO SAID I COULDN'T COME IN UNTIL I PAID THE $15.

WELL, I SAID, WAIT A MINUTE. THIS IS MY ROOM AND I AM COMING IN!"

THEY REPLIED, VERY FIRMLY THAT I WAS NOT MY ROOM TONIGHT BECAUSE SIMON'S CROWD HAD RENTED IT.

AT THAT I TURNED TO MY SECRET SERVICE AGENTS FOR HELP. I ALWAYS SAY MY AND THEY REMIND ME THAT THEY WORK FOR SIMON.

WELL, TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, I MADE A STRATEGIC RETREAT, WENT INTO THE KITCHEN, PICKED UP A TRAY OF FOOD AND CAME IN WITH THE WAITERS.

The stewards on the plane have proposed embalming the
travelling press and putting them in their preferred seats:
Growald next to Freed -- [Sullivan next to the galley] -- and so
forth.

As I prepare to depart, I take with me many memories --
perhaps most of all of the shuttle trips and the monumental
efforts to bring peace: between Israel and Egypt, between
Israel and Syria . . . between Jerry O'Leary and Marilyn
Berger.

Although our association has at times been disconcerting
to foreigners -- especially when I tell them that the boys
in the back of the plane make more money than I do -- it has,
I believe, been in the great tradition of our open society.

Arthur Miller once said that the press "is a nation talking to itself." There has been a lot to talk about over the past few years and you here in this room have done much to articulate the concerns and the contributions of the American people to our foreign policy.

For the United States, public communication is indispensable. All the lessons in this regard have been retaught us by the fateful events of recent years. The foreign policy of this country must be understood by the public or it will fail for want of support. [And our efforts in the world ultimately cannot be either responsive or effective unless a creative tension between the public and the policymaker is maintained.]

I want to take this opportunity to thank you and to express my
admiration and appreciation for the job you have done. The con-
frontations as well as the conviviality we have shared means a lot
to me. Together, I believe we have done some good work -- for the
country, and for the world.

Of course your job has been easier. I recall that someone
once asked Chester Gould, the creator of Dick Tracy, how he
wrote such successful comic strips. He said, "It's easy, I just
start with a repulsive character and go on from there."

And I want to take this opportunity to say a word to the
correspondents' wives here tonight: Since Cyrus Vance won't be
travelling much, in the months ahead you will be spending almost
as much time with these men as I have done. It will be hard.

-7-

But it is possible to get along with them. My advice to you
-- at least for the first few months of decompression -- is
this: always keep a fresh deck handy, invite them into your
kitchen at least once a day to take questions, stay off the
record, and be sure to pick up their suitcase from outside the
bedroom door every morning before 4:00 a.m.

Seriously, I do want to express my apologies and my appreciation to the spouses whose lives have been disrupted so often by my constant travelling. The spirit in which you have endured these trips has been important to me as well as to your husbands.

We have shared many moments of high drama and low comedy; we have ridden rollercoasters of gloom and euphoria;

-8-

we have experienced tension and frustration, poignancy
and exhilaration. Throughout we have each done our duty as
we saw it -- at times perhaps we were seemingly at cross-
purposes, but finally I believe we have reinforced one
another. I will never forget these experiences. I respect
what you have tried to do. You can take pride in what you
have done for your profession and for your [country]. I am a
Citizen

Thank you.

(Orben)

January 7, 1976

FAREWELL REMARKS BY SECRETARY HENRY A. KISSINGER

Leaving a job after so many years is always a difficult
experience. As my loyal and rather emotional staff recently
put it: They won't have Henry Kissinger to kick them around
anymore.

It really is time to move on. There's enough confusion
in the world right now without hearing an American Secretary
of State who says "you'all" with a German accent.

I'm still not out of office and yet I can already sense
subtle little changes of attitude. For instance, when I kissed
my mirror this morning -- it didn't kiss back.

And it is surprising how quickly the reorientation
process moves. Just this morning I called my office and
said: This is Henry. (PAUSE) Henry. (LONGER PAUSE. THEN
SPELL OUT:) K-I-S-S-I-N-G-E-R.

First, I want to thank you all for your kindness in
being here tonight -- to observe, commemorate and celebrate
my change of life.

-2-

People keep asking me what I'm going to do after
January 20th. Even Nancy is doing it. She keeps singing
I WONDER WHO'S KISSINGER NOW.

After so many years as Secretary of State, it won't be
easy making the transition to private life. In fact, Nancy
even suggested I take a course at Georgetown University.
The one called: REMEDIAL HUMILITY.

Some editorial writers are calling this my Swan Song --
which is an improvement. Up till now they've just been
saying I'm for the birds.

# # #

1/5/77

TRAVELLING PRESS DINNER

January 7, 1977

Fellow travellers:

Would you guys in the back knock off the liar's poker please?

I appreciate you all coming tonight -- especially you who
have left your stake-out of Cyrus Vance's garbage.

We invited "Henry the K" tonight, but he's moonlighting
with the Rock Creek Park Mounted Police. If he keeps losing
I think you ought to rename him "Senior Official."

I've always assumed that you bought him so that whenever
you got something from the horse's mouth -- namely Funseth --
you'd have the other end of the animal as a check and balance.

Well, gentlemen, you won't have Henry Kissinger to kick
you around any more. At least not until 1981.

-2-

But it's going to be a great relief to leave this rat-race and
start to work on my book. It's going to deal with the heart of the
foreign policy process. I'm going to call it "Kalb".

Actually I've heard that the Kalb's are at work on a new
book. They were going to call it "Brzezinski", but Olympia Press
said the title alone would require a 2-volume set.

I've heard that others of you will be taking on new challenges.
Murray Marder is going to host Saturday Night -- and rename it
"One More Question."

I don't know what Barry Schweid is going to do, but I heard
that the Government of Zaire wants to retire his Columbia
sweatshirt.

-3-

In remembrance of our association together, we've designed
a tie clip for you all -- in the shape of a piranha.

In Koppel's case, we've designed it as a pectoral medallion.

And also, just for the memories, the wine we're serving
tonight is that same great vintage we always had on the 707 --
from the Air Force's own vineyards out at Andrews.

You know Cyrus Vance has said he doesn't intend to travel
as I did. So the Air Force has announced that they will retire
970 and turn it into a museum out at Andrews. In fact, its
going to be a tourist attraction mausoleum -- like Mao's. We're
going to embalm Funseth and put him in there. It's only
appropriate, since he's usually pickled in there anyway.

-4-

The stewards on the plane have proposed embalming the
travelling press and putting them in their preferred seats:
Growald next to Freed -- Sullivan next to the galley -- and so
forth.

-5-

For the United States, public communication is indispensable. All the lessons in this regard have been retaught us by the fateful events of recent years. The foreign policy of this country must be understood by the public or it will fail for want of support. And our efforts in the world ultimately cannot be either responsive or effective unless a creative tension between the public and the policymaker is maintained.

-6-

-7-

Seriously, I do want to express my apologies and my
appreciation to the wives whose lives have been disrupted so
often by my constant travelling. The spirit in which you have
endured these trips has been important to me as well as to
your husbands.

-8-

we have experienced tension and frustration, poignancy
and exhilaration. Throughout we have each done our duty as
we saw it -- at times perhaps we were seemingly at cross-
purposes, but finally I believe we have reinforced one
another. I will never forget these experiences. I respect
what you have tried to do. You can take pride in what you
have done for your profession and for your country.

Thank you.