WASH. POST

B2 SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1991

# At State, Forming the Conger Line

By Sarah Booth Conroy

Washington Post Staff Writer

Secretary of State James Baker looked around the great columned hall of the State Department's Benjamin Franklin Dining Room, full of American antiques, donated by many of last night's black-tie and jeweled guests, and he gave them the word for what had happened to them.

They'd been "Congerized." "To be Congerized means to part with something valuable and to be happy about it! And a Congerama is when many people are 'Congerized,'" Baker said.

He went on to compare the State Department Reception Rooms to a working democracy, saying neither is too delicate to use. "You can touch it. You can even sit on it. It works. We use it every day." Baker was followed by four former secretaries of state, all who had served with Conger, who is retiring as curator of State's Diplomatic Reception Rooms. Conger plans to join Christie's auction house but will remain as the volunteer chairman of State's Fine Arts Committee.

"Through sheer persistence and coercion," said William Rogers, "he has built this collection. I have a vision of him at a will reading, when somebody would leave him Thomas Jefferson's desk, and Clem would

stand up and say, 'What about the chairs?'"

Henry Kissinger told of the time he asked Conger to take the antiques out of his office. "It's impossible to describe his look of despair. If I had not owned a Labrador retriever at the time, I would not have understood Clem's look. He took the antiques out—and replaced them with such modern atrocities, I had to take the antiques back."

Alexander Haig found Conger's 49 years of government service remarkable: "I left after only 37 and I was dog-tired." He went on to explain the importance of the Diplomatic Reception Rooms in presenting a setting where international "discerning eyes can assess America at its best."

And Edmund Muskie said until he dined in the Conger-renovated State rooms he didn't feel he'd made it.

Also attending the dinner of mixed game and other 18th-century recipes from the tables of George Washington and John Quincy Adams were 27 ambassadors, Interior Secretary Manuel Lujan and some 230 guests who paid $1,500 apiece for the privilege of dining with the au-

gust and contributing to the Diplomatic Reception Rooms.

Clement Ellis Conger, 79, was honored as the country's most accomplished servant in the practice of the biblical admonition, "Ask, and ye shall receive."

Since Conger, then deputy chief of protocol, began the collection and remodeling project in 1961, he and his volunteer committee have raised nearly $30 million in cash from private donors. Conger's golden hands have also brought in gifts of furniture, silver, paintings and other decorative objects from citizens motivated, as Conger says, by pride of family, pride of country and desire for tax deductions. The collection, now valued at close to $60 million, is rated as one of the top three collections of furnishings from before the Revolutionary War and during the early republic.

In replying to the toasts, Conger thanked the secretaries for surviving the construction work on the rooms, his staff for their loyalty and the donors for their gifts, and as they left he urged everybody to order copies of the "Treasures of State," which benefits the rooms.

BY DUDLEY M. BROOKS—THE WASHINGTON POST

Clement Ellis Conger greeting a guest last night.

Great Expectations

THE WORD SUMMER IS ALMOST ONO-
MATOPOEIC: THE SIZZLE OF THE S; THE
MM AN EXHAUSTED, HEADACHY SIGH
following the first sip of cocktail; the well-
oiled two syllables as easy to utter as some
perfectly synthetic, market-testable prod-
uct name—a sporty midprice car (the new Chevy Summer), or
a cologne (Ralph Lauren's Summer). And, of course—on May

The word summer

25, before summer had officially started, the temperature here reached 93 degrees—it rhymes with bummer. Is it just the heat? Or have we turned into full-bore cranks, Andy Rooneys minus a few inches around the waist? Good Humor trucks, which back in the age of innocence produced one of summer's great audio effects, are now playing interminable video-game-music loops of Scott Joplin rags. Shrill, electronic bleating, and ice cream we now know is third-rate. There must be something meaningful here. There is. Describing the proliferation of exotic new stock offerings, an executive at Shearson Lehman Brothers, the investment bank, told *The Wall Street Journal*, "When times get tougher for vanilla products, bankers start to sell stuff that has sprinkles on it." Not only that, but *they want you to believe the sprinkles are good for you*. According to a University of Massachusetts food-science professor named Dr. Fergus Clydesdale (wasn't he a recurring character on *Green Acres*?), companies such as General Mills will soon sell infirmity-specific breakfast cereals—"one box of Wheaties for people with a genetic disposition to cancer, and another for those disposed to heart disease." Already McDonald's sells one burger for people who don't mind developing a disposition to heart disease and another—the McLean, the first fast-food product named after a suburb of Washington, D.C.—for those disposed to easy dodges and self-delusion. Some public-health experts worry

the solution is
worse than the

problem if it encourages people
to consume even more fries and
buns. In that sense, according to
Yale medical professor Linda Bar-
toshuk (she definitely wasn't on

"It wasn't fair, plus it's a federal offense." —Madonna, explaining why she didn't include surreptitiously recorded phone conversations

with Warren Beatty in her movie *Truth or Dare*

NOTHING ATTRACTS LIKE THE IMP

OI

CORIANDER SEEDS FROM MOROCCO

ANGELICA ROOT FROM SAXONY

JUNIPER BERRIES FROM ITALY

CASSIA BARK FROM INDOCHINA

*Green Acres*, the McLean "could be a pact with the Devil."

Whenever satanic pacts are mentioned, we think of Henry Kissinger. It seems his long-term deal with the forces of darkness required him to publicly mortify himself during his final years on earth: there is simply no other explanation for his recent stint as weatherman on *CBS This Morning*. Kissinger actually did secretary-of-State-themed shtick on the air, referring to "peaceful" and "violent" conditions in towns like Lebanon, New Hampshire, and Moscow, Idaho (*get it*?). Satan may be the embodiment of evil, but you've got to admire his creativity.

Kissinger becomes a TV weatherman just as we find out his former minion bathes with a dog. An ex-aide says George Bush and Millie would sometimes shower together, and that Bush did this "without feeling apologetic about it." A compulsion to be naked around springer spaniels is apparently *not* a symptom of hyperthyroidism; yet if Bush's illness were severe, doctors say, he might experience

a "thyroid storm," with symptoms including high fever (which could explain the showers) and psychosis (which could explain Millie and the lack of embarrassment). George and Barbara's shared autoimmune condition is Graves' disease; Millie has an autoimmune disease called lupus; Peter Graves and Peter Lupus were on *Mission: Impossible* just before Bush was director of the CIA. Coincidence?

Thyroid storms (wasn't that a recurring plot device on the original *Star Trek*?) bring to mind, inevitably, Desert Storm. Months later, we learn the several meaningful truths about our adventure in Iraq: (1) *The war wasn't so awful* for the 99.96 percent of American soldiers who didn't die: of the 360 women serving aboard the *Acadia* in the Persian Gulf, 22 became pregnant at sea. (2) *Lorne Michaels—a Canadian—was responsible for the diminution of our First Amendment freedoms:* a skit on *Saturday Night Live* depicting Gulf reporters as buffoons persuaded White House officials, they admit, to maintain the restrictions on press coverage of the war. (3) *Even war*

heroes—maybe especially war heroes—need agents: General Schwarzkopf (wasn't he a recurring character on *Hogan's Heroes*?) has hired Marvin Josephson of ICM to negotiate his show business and publishing futures. "He is not focused on money," says Josephson. "He'll never do something just because someone's going to pay him a lot of money." But Josephson's job is to see to it that someone *will* pay Schwarzkopf a lot of money nevertheless—though *that's not why* he'll be doing whatever it is they'll pay him to do. The Kurds, meanwhile, are evidently still trying to get their calls returned by William Morris.

But back to the White House: it turns out that Secret Service policy calls for the prompt destruction of all of Bush's blood samples, urine specimens and fecal smears—indeed, *all presidential bodily discharges*. The idea is to prevent any stray Bush-ooze from falling into the hands of unfriendly foreign governments (wasn't that a running gag on *Get Smart*?), who might thus learn some meaningful secret about the president's health.

6 SPY AUGUST 1991

THE IMPORTED TASTE OF BOMBAY GIN.

MARK FROM INDOCHINA ALMONDS FROM INDOCHINA

LEMON PEEL FROM SPAIN

ORRIS (IRIS ROOT) FROM ITALY

LICORICE FROM INDOCHINA

Bombay®, Gin, 43% alc/vol (86 proof); 100% grain neutrals. © 1988 Carlton Importers, Ltd. Teaneck, NJ

war heroes— Schwarzkopf character on Marvin Jozee his show features. “He says Josephine just pay him a son’s job is we will pay nevertheles he’ll be I pay him le, are evi-darly calls re-

House: it ice policy tion of all ine speci-deed, all the idea is ice from a friendly ’t that a t?), who ngful se-th.

Imagine if an unfriendly foreign government had got hold of JFK's blood! According to Thomas Reeves's new book *A Question of Character*, President Kennedy smoked hash and dropped acid (*Bobby, Marilyn—the Oval Office* actually is oval!). In addition, he was "foul-mouthed" and "slipped government documents to journalists" and "favored abortion." We were misinformed: it had been our understanding that Reeves would be portraying JFK unflatteringly.

It may be meaningful—in a narrow, meretricious, cynical sense—that Michael Jackson, seeking to slough off the Venusian-K mart-androgyne look he designed for himself a decade ago, has asked a group of stylish photographers and fashion designers to design a new Michael Jackson. If a second-rank 1970s performer can explode in the '80s and endure into the '90s, what's to stop, oh, say, Cindy Williams from now becoming a Jackson-magnitude megastar? Not a thing! Which is why Tri-Star is releasing *Bingo!*, starring Williams, in August. And why the next several months of feature films

will star John Ritter (*Problem Child II*), Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor (*Another You*), Dudley Moore (*Blame It on the Bellboy*), Goldie Hawn (*The Mrs. and Crisscross*), Nick Nolte (*Prince of Tides*) and, best of all, Lindsay Wagner (*The Ants of God*). If there isn't a really major Gabe Kaplan feature in development by Christmas, we don't know a meaningful trend when we see one.

Gabe Kaplan aside, it's gotten so we can't be sure if certain unappealing figures remind us of a past era or of the future. Chris Whittle, for one, seems by most indexes—the haircut, the bow ties, the sensitive-man arrogance, the southerner-with-improbable-political-ambitions thing (wasn't he a next-door neighbor on the old *Bob Newhart Show*?)—to be a 1970s creature still walking among us. But then, as a subsidiary of Time Warner, he starts piping Whopper commercials into public schools and proposing to open 200 profit-making schools (wasn't that the premise of *Children of the Damned*?), and we think, *Late-1990s guy*.

A chain of glossy elementary

schools run by Steve Ross; Donald Trump threatening to sell Mar-a-Lago to Moonies; and now the news that Germany may establish a military base in the U.S. Hey—aren't these all plot devices in that blockbuster serial novel of the fin de siècle, 1999: *Casinos of the Fourth Reich?* As the gripping climax of this chapter swoops into view with an intoxicating brew of low-down sex (Madonna! Kennedys!) and high-stakes menace (Kravis! Kennedys!), we find ourselves at the brand-new Clubland. Clubland, new tenant of the old Studio 54 space (a recurring joke on *Murphy Brown*?), issued a five-page press release about its opening: "Guests may...watch as Buddy Holly's plane flies through the balcony and crashes at the end of a 50s medley.... A real eyeful of activity and excitement. And you can dance to it." But is it meaningful? For the answers to important philosophical questions, we like to rely on the experts, and John Reidy, an analyst at Smith Barney, has this to say about the first part of 1991: "It's almost a meaningless quarter for everybody."

AUGUST 1991 SPY 7

JAN 08 '91 17:36 212-759-0042

ABD BUSTON PROP

P.1

002

EDITORIAL

BY MORTIMER B. ZUCKERMAN
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

# THEY SAID IT - OR MIGHT HAVE

Welcome to 1991! Before America could enjoy its cold-war victory after 45 years of disciplined confrontation with the Soviet Union, Saddam Hussein's invasion of Kuwait, threatening our economic and political interests in the region, has forced America to face the possibility of another military engagement. This and other political events have inspired my usual year-end fantasies of the thoughts of various personalities-thanks, as always, to writers ranging from George Bernard Shaw to Woody Allen.

George Bush on the end of the cold war: As Adam said to Eve when they left the Garden of Eden, "Dear, we are in a period of transition."

Saddam Hussein on life: Kill one man and you are a murderer. Kill millions and you are a conqueror. Kill all and you are a god.

James Baker on Hussein: I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Brent Scowcroft on Hussein: Dictators are rulers who always look good until the last 10 minutes.

Nicholas Brady, the Treasury secretary, on the budget deficit: Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.

William Seidman, FDIC chairman, on the banking crisis: Ninety-five percent of the bankers give the other 5 percent a bad name.

Richard Thornburgh, attorney general, on black Muslim radical Louis Farrakhan: The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

Conservatives on liberal intellectuals: They have a deep unimaginative contempt for human beings, which they disguise as friendly concern.

Richard Darman, the budget director, on negotiating with the Congress: There is nothing wrong with the Congress that reasoning won't aggravate.

Roger Ailes, GOP political adviser, on Bill Bradley's TV style: His performance is so wooden you want to spray him with liquid Pledge.

John Sununu, White House chief of staff, on Congress: In the revolutionary days we had big men enjoying small talk. Today we have small men enjoying big talk.

Chaim Herzog, Israeli president, on negotiating with the Palestinians: Peace is not just the absence of war. It is

a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence and justice.

Bush on Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir: He is like some mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

Shamir on Bush: What the West can never remember the Jews can never forget.

Eduard Shevardnadze, former Soviet foreign minister, to Mikhail Gorbachev: In a democracy, the opposition is not only tolerated as constitutional. It must be maintained because it is indispensable.

Margaret Thatcher on her resignation: It is time that I step aside for a less experienced and less able man.

Henry Kissinger on Washington dinner parties: Seated next to an attractive young woman, Kissinger failed to stifle a yawn. "Am I keeping you up?" she asked. "I wish you were," Kissinger answered.

Yves Saint Laurent on design: What a man enjoys about a woman's clothes are his fantasies about how she would look without them.

Steve Forbes, editor-in-chief of Forbes magazine, on trophy wives: Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to success.

Gary Kasparov, world chess champion, on challenger Anatoly Karpov: Victory goes to the player who makes the next to last mistake.

Elizabeth Taylor on life: From birth to 18 a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 25 she needs good looks. From 35 to 55 she needs a good personality. From 55 on she needs cash.

Arthur Schlesinger Jr., historian, on power: If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

Ivana Trump on her ex-husband: The affair between Donald Trump and Donald Trump will live as one of the most absorbing love stories of the year.

Elie Wiesel, Nobelist and philosopher, on religion: Taoism-Trouble happens. Confucianism-Confucius says trouble happens. Buddhism-If trouble happens, it is not really trouble. Zen Buddhism-What is the sound of trouble happening? Hinduism-This trouble has happened before. Islam-If trouble happens it is the will of Allah. Protestantism-Let trouble happen to someone else. Catholicism-If trouble happens, you deserve it. Judaism-Why does trouble always happen to us?

U.S.NEWS & WORLD REPORT, JANUARY 14, 1991

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