THE DREAM.

BY THE AUTHOR OF "THE ACTS OF ADONIS."

Printed and Published by J. Turner, 170, Aldersgate Street.—Price Sixpence.

1820

IT was Thursday morning, the watchman of the Mall was hoarsely bawling the hour of five, the fumes of the revel had mounted my brain, my wig was soiled with the sand of the kitchen, one whisker was singed by coming in contact with the waxen taper, the other bedewed with the juice of the grapes; on my left lay the beauteous Cúning..., whose snoring sounded on my ear; on my right the refreshing Curagoa, whose balm was refreshing to my palate; my eyes rolled, I saw two C's, my hand trembled, I felt two bottles, all was melancholy, sleep came over me, I dreamt a dream.— Methought I was resting on my couch, thinking of the new way to get unmarried, and musing on Green Bags and Leeches, which Derry Down and the Doctor had placed before me, when, suddenly a light shone upon me, and the figure of my father, as I have known him in life and happiness, leading by the hand my injured wife, appeared in the chamber; he seized me in his grasp, and led me, too overcome with horror to resist, to the top of a mountain, from whence I could discern my people and my kingdom. Look there, my degraded son, said the spectre; I looked down on the world, and beheld all the scenes of my youth again before me. I saw, once more, all the duns who beseeged me in days of yore. I saw Moses the money lender, and Mrs. W. the procuress, and Mrs. Fitzroy and all the associates of my younger days. There was Sherley, "whose namesake had rendered him almost insensible; and many whose names, though now forgotten, were once familiarly repeated. I reviewed the actions of my earliest years; again repeated the applications for money; again took a wife to get my debts paid; again surrounded her with spies, betrayed her, deserted her, persecuted her, brought her to trial,—and the future came before me. I saw her condemned by my ministers, and the people of my kingdom rise and protect her; I thought it was a day in August. The Guards, with their red coats, were charging the people; the infantry of my kingdom had joined with the party of my wife. I heard the report of carbines, of artillery. I saw the hook-nosed Duke with the fork of a haymaker through his body. I saw the whiskered Marquis with but one leg, yea, and that leg a cork one. I heard Pch-m, the Bishop, cursing and swearing, for they were belabouring him sorely. I saw my brother Jordan without his head, but his appearance was unaltered. I saw Derry Down, old Bags, the Doctor, and the Bully, hung on the four points of a weathercock; and they changed sides continually. I saw the cuckolds of the court

flying like a flock of deer; but they were seized by the antlers, and offered up a feast at the table of John Bull. I saw Live-a-foo! dragged through a horsepond, and the water was tainted. I saw a Leech sucking his blood, and a Cook feasting on his carcass. I saw poor Fred, put in a Green Bag, and "thrown over the bridge;" he cried out piteously for a minister, but they said he liked a Clarke better. I heard Ernest say, it was no joke, as they tied a hempen cravat round his neck. I heard him beseech for time to say his prayers, but they swore he had been going over his Salms a long time and laughed at him. I saw the fat Banker dabbling in the Stocks, and cursing most bitterly the Wood that confined him, I heard him swear the book of Matthew was a lying book. I saw Smoke Jack bound apprentice to the Albion Fire Office, he was always a little hot-headed, and given to flaming. I saw the Bank turned into a rag shop. I saw the house of Parliament changed to a blockmakers. I thought the Horse Guards altered to a toy shop. I saw written over my Palace, in Turkish characters, "This is a Bagnio." I observed Lady Constance walking the streets, and the Marchioness of H. in the hospital. I saw Mrs. Q. without a nose; and the Duchess of R.— in Dover Street; she looked like a figure of Eve without a girdle; I had very nearly blushed, but being out of practice, forgot how to begin. I saw a Coal-heaver absolutely look at Lord Algiers,—I was astonished. I heard the band strike up the "Devil to Pay," and "Kick the rogues out." I saw Harry Hunt with a chancellor's wig on. I saw "Bob Wilson in a field marshal's uniform, and Frank Burdett at the head of the state. I saw poor Nich. put in the Serpentine. I thought of the Sinking Fund. I saw the Privy Counsellors put down the necessary, it was a stinking operation and a dirty business. I saw the mob came up and demanded my property; I put my hand in my purse, and gave them half-a-crown; I saw my wife put it in a ridicule, she was possessed of one before. I saw my best wig in a nightman's pocket, with a penn'orth of pudding in it. I thought the people were about to put me in the pillory. I saw the apparatus, I trembled, the perspiration rolled down my forehead, I started, awoke, it was a dream; but I had cracked my crown against the Milan bed-post. The Doctor's Bill was the Penalty of the Pains, and an everlasting warning against idle dreaming.

NOV. 1820

296