Pole in a crowded raindamp car called out "Ich bin kinder" and saved the situation provoking a laugh, giving me an opportunity to pat his cheek and say like tender mother, "No dear, you are not a child any longer"....

There were no greens on the corners of this train, only a specially-printed sign saying in Polish & Eng. that this was a repatriation train bound for Warsaw.... the Col. broke the back of our paint-shop getting 51 of these signs painted in double-quick time, naming 3rd U.S Army and XV Corps, as one names the sponsors of a program. There weren't even drawings on the trains. This was an Army-managed convoy... no shenanigans, no violins, no singing... it looked simply drenched and pitiful in the mean blowing rain. I went through the 51 cars with Jourde, Welfare, like a streak of lightning unable to linger for fear I would feel something. Or, for fear I wouldn't.....

I am aware that one gets USED to such things. There was not today the pang...no impulse for tears...no formless looming thought. There was mainly a job to do - distribute blankets, be sure the kids got them and not their elders (who needed them just as badly) and then away.... I didn't even stay until the train pulled out at 1:25 PM. The Col. was there, but rain kept him inside his car....only UNRRA was out, tramping from car door to car door through the mud...the dreadful truck-churned slush outside each car door.

I am very low in spirit this weekend. The team feels all at odds. The English nurse spat some memorable venom in my face yesterday - made me weep in rage, first time I really gave in to the human frailties when faced with human reacting..... our Dutch group is thick as hieves, and thieving heavily - sugar, goods by the yard, chocolate....and the 'rench group hangs close together with me somewhere in between, understanding both sides because I am one of the rare 2-tongued Anglo-Saxons on the team.

April 4, 1946 - A day NEVER NEVER NEVER
to be forgotten.

At 3 PM we had 75 block leaders in Masset's
office, to tell them about our grand welfare
plans, how they mustassist our Polish women
who would do block visiting, etc etc....
The atmosphere was good. One had the feeling
that AT LONG LAST, we were getting flown to
rehabilitation at last. The block leaders
were packed so tight from wall to wall, they
could not raise an arm to light a cigarette.
Their blue slav eyes listened with lights while
Mme V. translated how we had warehouses full
of things for the Poles, whichwe must distribut
to soon..via the new canteen to open in a week,
via the UNRRA clothing cards, now almost
finished...... Then the telephone rang.

Johnnie & I were standing back of Masset -
so I took the phone, not to have him interrupt
his elegant speech to the Poles. "Weisbaden" I
said, handing him the phone. Johnnie & I
were only ones understanding English..tho
Mme V. knows many words. We heard Masset say
softly "Jesus". T en long silence while he
listened. Then - "May first? Did you say
May 1st?" Silence again. "To POLAND?"
"By force?" Silence. "I will refuse to take
the responsibility". How many

Poles in that room understood any of it, we
could not guess. But Johnnie & I knew what.
Masset knew when he facedhis block leaders again
and began to talk...about welfare, about our
expanding plans, at long last reaching into
the blockhouses, etc e. Masset
finished his speec, got the block leaders
out of his room. Then Dawson, Johnnie & I
said, "WHAT?" He said "Sit down, all of you"
In case we would fall down..... UNRRA Dist-
RICT Office Weisbaden had just telephoned
that Wildflecken must be cleared out by
May 1st - to Poland - NOT to another camp
in Germany. We simply stared at each other.
Forced repatriation? And UNRRA calling that
tune? Of course it is unbeliebvable. Yet
if so...what hideous mix-up on our UNRRA
topside...worse than anything Army has
treated us to thus far.

While we were sitting staring... the door opened. A fat bouncing little figure came in - smiling wondrously, saying "I am the new doctor for the team" - our new chief Medical to replace Maj. Roth. We all began to scream with laughter. The Swiss laughed back. We wanted to say "We hope you have an enjoyable 3 weeks here before the camp closes". He must have thought our minds had snapped, the way we laughed. Finally Johnnie led him down to the billets...telling him the news enroute. Brevig from Bruckenau came in. We told him. He could not believe ... though he DID say that the new constabular has top priorities - even over Army. "It will require a regiment, full one, to guard this camp if it is to be forcibly evacuated" he said. Major Roth came in, we told him. "Unbelievable," he said. "It would be international scandal if UNRRA made such a move"...forced repatriation. Major said there would be mass suicides here. I think so too.

At night this day he same atmosphere of dementia prevailed in our rooms. Johnnie came to sit with Habets & me...then the Swiss who incidentally picked up the phone outside our door and talked for 14 minutes with his wife in Zurich, in Swiss patois. Then Czech Schmerler, Warehouseman came in to say there had been a murder in the camp - he had intercepted the police truck, looking for a woman's body. Also, the GI's of Able Co. on our street took our ambulance filled it with soldiers and tore to town, telling Maj. Roth that I had authorized it! When it was all over... Habets said, "Something ELSE has to happen, the night is not yet done." Around midnight, Masset phoned to say there had been a jailbreak at Schweinfurt - 11 Poles escaped Mil Gov prison there, "od whom 4 are our babies, Kate" - 4 of our police force who were arrested this week'. Thus the day of April 4th.