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406 KING: (FILTER) Why Sammtwell Small, lad. If it don't do my heart and soul good to hear thy voice again.

407 SAM: Hold on just half a moment. Your Majesty (WHISPERS) Aye, Mates, the King is speaking Yorkshire.

408 GOLL: (WHISPER) Aye, he knows all the dialects. It's things like that that make him such a good king.

409 ROWLIE: (WHISPER) Aye, little things like passing laws can be left to lads who have naught but brains.

410 SAM: Aye, Aye (FULL VOICE) Yes, Your Majesty, what was that, that you were saying?

411 KING: How's tha been, Sam lad?

412 SAM: Right nicely, Your Majesty.

413 KING: And how's that right bonnie wife of thin, Dally?

414 SAM: Dally's alright well. And how's thy missus and bairns, if tha don't mind the question?

415 KING: Nay, Sam lad, Ah'm that glad tha axed me. My littlest'un was a bit poorly last week. It's teeth tha knows. But she's feeling champion now.

416 SAM: Well, Ah'm glad to hear that.

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417 KING: Thanks. Well, Sam. Ah don't suppose tha called me up just for idle barneying. What can Ah do for thee, lad?

418 SAM: Well, it's this way, Your Majesty. Ah hopes tha'll not think me foolish for axing, but could tha tell me just what day of the week it is for thee?

419 KING: Eh, Sam. Ah don't monkey with things like that. A leave all that to my ministers and such. But Ah've just got official information from them that today's Saturday.

420 SAM: Your Majesty, if Saturday is good enough for thee, then there's no more argument. Thank you, vary much.

421 KING: Not at all, Sam. And by the way, Sam Small, it is our royal wish that tha doesn't wait so long afore tha calls me up again. There's been several things lately Ah would have liked thy opinion on. When's tha off to coom to Lunnon?

422 SAM: Nay, Your Majesty, Ah give up traveling.

423 KING: Too bad, Sam. Too bad. Well give me a ring some time soon, will tha?

40

424 SAM: That Ah will, lad.

425 KING: Well, so long.

426 SAM: So long, Your Majesty.

427 SOUND: (HANG UP PHONE)

428 BLOGGS: (BREATHLESS) Well, what did he say?

429 SAM: He said that today was Saturday.

430 BLOGGS: There, didn't I tell you. Now doesn't that make it Saturday?

431 BRAITH: The only trouble is, it don't feel like Saturday to me.

432 BLOGGS: Oh my hat. Don't tell me you're going to start this all over again. I tell you today is officially Saturday.

433 SAM: Wait a minute, lads. Now ah don't work here, so ah play no favorites. But ah can tell ye for sure how ye'll all know its Saturday.

434 VOICES: How? How can we tell? Aye, Sam, coom on tell us.

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435 SAM: Why its simple. Ye all know that every Saturday morning ye get paid a week's wages. Now it's so be this is Saturday, Mr. Bloggs will begin paying each man a week's money. And on the other hand, then if he don't begin paying a week's brass - it can't be Saturday and the chances are it'll keep being Sunday for a long time.

436 BLOGGS: Its outrageous.

439 VOICES: Naw, naw, that's fair enough -- Aye, Sam has solved it -- Coom on Mr. Bloggs, if its Saturday, pay up.

438 BLOGGS: No I won't do it Not a penny will you get from me.

439 SAM: Well, mates, ah think it must be still Sunday. So ye better go home.

440 1ST VOICE: Aye if twere Saturday, Mr. Bloggs would pay off.

441 VOICES: Aye that's right -- coom lads, let's go home aye - aye.

442 BLOGGS: Wait, wait -- I'll pay if only to get you stubborn Yorkshiremen to go back to work. I can see its the only way to get the days of the week started properly again.

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443 CAPPER: But if its Saturday today, lads, what day is it tomorrow?

444 OMNES: (SHOUT IN UNISON) It'll be Sunday.

445 CAPPER: (JOYOUSLY) Now ain't that champion. If its Sunday we'll all be able to lie abed late and get a bit of extra sleep for a change.

446 ORGAN: "OH HE IS AN ENGLISHMAN"

447 ANNOUNCER: You have just heard the Columbia Workshop presentation of "Never Come Monday" adapted for radio by Stephen Fox from the short story of the sam title by Eric Knight. Sir Cedric Hardwicke played the role of Capper Wambly. Lady Hardwicke played Mary Wambly. Whitford Kane played ______ and Wallace Ford played ______. The entire production was under the direction of William N. Robson.

448 ORGAN UP

449 ANNOUNCER: The Workshop again asks for your reactions, your criticisms comments and suggestions on tonight's broadcast. Address your communications to the Columbia Workshop, care of the Columbia Network, New York City.

450 ORGAN UP