MULEBOME

A COMEDY OF NEGRO LIFE IN THREE ACTS

BY LANGSTON HUGHES and ZORA HURSTON

**CHARACTERS:**
**JIM WESTON:** Guitarist, Methodist, slightly arrogant, aggressive, somewhat self-important, ready with his tongue.
**DAVE CARTER:** Dancer, Baptist, soft, happy-go-lucky character, slightly dumb and unable to talk rapidly and wittily.
**DAISY TAYLOR:** Methodist, domestic servant, plump, dark and sexy, self-conscious of clothes and appeal, fickle.
**JOE CLARK:** The Mayor, storekeeper and postmaster, arrogant, ignorant and powerful in a self-assertive way, large, fat man; Methodist.
**ELDER SIMMS:** Methodist minister, newcomer in town, ambitious, small and fly, but not very intelligent.
**ELDER CHILDREN:** Big, loose-jointed, slow-spoken but not dumb. Long resident in the town, calm and sure of himself.
**KATIE CARTER:** Dave's aunt, a little old wizened dried-up lady.
**MRS. MATTIE CLARK:** The Mayor's wife, fat and flabby mulatto, high-pitched voice.
**MRS. SIMMS:** Reverend Simms wife. Large and aggressive.
**MRS. CHILDREN:** Just a wife who thinks of details. Rev. Childers's wife.
**LUM BOGER:** Young town marshall about twenty, tall, gangly, with big flat feet, liked to show off in public.
**TEET MILLER:** Village vamp who is jealous of DAISY.
**LICE MOSELY:** A village wage.
**WALTER TOMAS:** Another village wage.
**ADA LEWIS:** A promiscuous lover.
**DELLA LEWIS:** Baptist, poor housekeeper, mother of ADA.
**BOOTSIE PITTS:** A local vamp.
**MRS. DILOIE ANDERSON:** Village housewife, Methodist.
**WILLIE NIXON:** Methodist, short runt.

**SETTING:**

The raised porch of JOE CLARK'S store and the street in front
Porch stretches almost completely across the stage, with a
plank bench at either end. At the center of the porch three
steps leading from street. Rear of porch, center, door to the
store. On either side are single windows on which signs:
left, "DOST OFFICE", and at right, "GENERAL STORE" are paint-
ed. Soap boxes, axe handles, small kegs, etc., on porch on
which townspeople sit and lounge during action. Above the
roof of the porch the "false front", or imitation second story
of the shop is seen with large sign painted across it "JOE
CLARK'S GENERAL STORE". Large kerosine street lamp on post
at right in front of porch.

**TIME:**

Saturday afternoon and the villagers are gathered around the store. Several men sitting on boxes at edge of porch chewing sugar cane, spitting tobacco juice, arguing, some whittling, others eating peanuts. During the act the women all dressed up in starched dresses parade in and out of store. People buying groceries, children playing in the street, etc. General noise of conversation, laughter and children shouting.

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AT RISE:

When the curtain rises there is a momentary lull for cane-chewing. At left of porch four men are playing cards on a soap box, and seated on the edge of the porch at extreme right two children are engaged in a checker game, with the board on the floor between them.

When the curtain goes up, the following characters are discovered on the porch: MAYOR JOE CLARK, the storekeeper; DEACON HAMBO; DEACON GOODWIN; OLD MAN TATT BRAZZLE; WELL CODY; SYKES JONES; LUM BOGER, the young town marshall; LIGE MOSELY and WALTER THOMAS, two village wags; TOM NIXON and SAM MOSELY, and several others, seated on boxes, kegs, in benches and floor of the porch. TONY TAYLOR is sitting on steps of porch with empty basket. MRS. TAYLOR comes out with her arms full of groceries, empties them into basket and goes back in store. All the men are chewing sugar cane earnestly with varying facial expressions. The noise of the breaking and sucking of cane can be clearly heard in the silence. Occasionally the laughter and shouting of children is heard nearby off stage.

HAMBO:

(To BRAZZLE) Say, Matt, gimme a joint or two of dat green cane, dis ribbon cane is hard.

LIGE:

Yeah, and you ain't got de shears in yo' parlor you useter have.

HAMBO:

Dat's all right, Lige, but I betcha right now wid dese few teeth I got I kin eat up more cane'n you kin grow.

LIGE:

I know you kin and dat's de reason I ain't goin' to tempt you. But youse gettin' old in lots of ways - look at dat bald head - just as clean as my hand. (Exposes his palm)

HAMBO:

Don't keer if it tis - I don't want nothin' - not even hair - between me and God. (General laughter, LIGE joins in as well. Cane chewing keeps up. Silence for a moment.)

(Two children enter, a boy rolling a hoop, followed by a little girl who is trying to catch him. They cross stage toward left running. The boy exits. The girl stops in front of the store angry.)

LITTLE GIRL:

You better bring my hoop back here, you Luther you! (Half crying). I'm gonna tell mah mamma. (Shaking fist) Or whup you myself!

HAMBO:

Gals just as rough as boys is nowadays. Look at that young one: Robena, go on home where you belongs. Got no business runnin' down here in de main road nohow, like you's wild. Go on home!

LITTLE GIRL:

(As she exits right) I wants mah hoop! (She yells and cries) I wants mah hoop!

(Two large women enter left with market bags. They speak sedately to men on porch and enter store.)

BRAZZLE:

Them two sisters mighty thick again'. Ain't been two weeks since they was fightin' and a-quarrelin' and carryin' tales on one 'mother all over the place.

HAMBO:

(Philosophically) Dat's de way women is.

(The noise of cane-chewing is heard again. Enter JOE LINDSAY left, with a gun over his shoulder and the large leg bone of a mule in the other hand. He approaches the step wearily.)

HAMBO:

Well, did you git any partridges, Joe?

LINDSAY:

(Resting his gun and seating himself) Nope, but I made de feathers fly.

HAMBO:

I don't see no birds.

LINDSAY:

Oh, the feathers flew off on de birds.

LIGE:

I don't see nothin' but dat bone. Look lak you done kilt a cow and et'im raw out in de woods.

LINDSAY:

Don't y'all know dat hock-bone?

WALTER:

How you reckon we gointter know every hock-bone in Orange County sight unseen?

LINDSAY:

(Standing the bone up on the floor of the porch) Dis is a hock-bone of Brazzle's ole yaller mule.

(General pleased interest. Everybody wants to touch it.)

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BRAZZLE:

(Coming forward) Well, sir! (Takes bone in both hands and looks up and down the length of it)

If 'tain't my ole mule: This sho was one hell of a mule, too.
He'd fight ev'ey inch in front of de plow... he'd tu'n over
de mowin' machine... run away wid de wagon... and you better
not look like you wanter ride 'im!

LINDSAY:

(Laughing) Yeah, I 'member seein' you comin' down de road just so... (He limps with one hand on his buttocks) one day.

BRAZZLE:

Dis mule was so evil he used to try to bit and kick when I'd
go in de stable to feed 'im.

WALTER:

He was too mean to git fat. He was so skinny you could do a
week's washin' on his ribs for a washboard and hang 'em up on
his hip-bones to dry.

LIGE:

I 'member one day, Brazzle, you sent yo' boy to Winter Park
after some groceries wid a basket. So here he went down de
road ridin' dis mule wid dis basket on his arm... Whut you
meckon dat ole contra'y mule done when he got to dat crooked
place in de road goin' roun' Park Lake? He turnt right 'roun'
and went through de handle of dat basket... wid de boy still
up on his back, (General laughter)

BRAZZLE:

Yeah, he up and died one Sat'day just for spite... but he was
too contra'y to lay down on his side like a mule orter and
die decent. Naw, he made out to lay down on his narrator con-
tracted back and die wid his feets stickin' straight up in
de air just so. (He gets down on his back and illustrates)
We drug him out to de swamp wid 'im dat way, didn't we,
Hambo?

JOE CLARK:

I God, Brazzle, we all seen it. Didn't we all go to de draggin' out? More folks went to yo' mule's draggin' out than went to last school closin'... Bet there ain't been a thing right in mule-hell for four years.

HAMBO:

Been dat long since he been dead?

CLARK:

I God, yes. He died de week after I started to cuttin' dat
new groun'. (The bone is passing from hand to hand. At last
a boy about twelve takes it. He has just walked
up and is proudly handling the bone when a woman's
voice is heard off stage.)

VOICE:

Senator: Senator!! Oh, you Senator!

BOY:

(Turning, displeased, mutters) Aw, shucks. (Loudly) Ma'am?

VOICE:

If you don't come here you better!

SENATOR:

Yes, ma'am. (He drops bone on ground down stage and trots off frowning.)

Soon as we men git to doin' somethin' dese wirmen... (Exits,r)
(Enter TEET and BOOTSIE left, clean and primped in
voile dresses just alike. They speak diffidently
and enter store. The men admire them casually.)

LIGE:

Them girls done turned out to be right good-lookin'.

WALTER:

Teet ain't as pretty now as she was a few years back. She
used to be fat as a butter ball wid legs just like two whiskey
legs. She's too skinny since she got her growth.

CODY:

Ain't none of 'em pretty as dat Miss Daisy. God! She's pretty
as a speckled pup.

LIGE:

But she was sho 'nuff ugly when she was little... little ole
hard black knot. She she has changed since she been away up
North. If she ain't pretty now, there ain't a houn' dog in
Georgy! (Re-enter SENATOR BAILEY who stops on the steps.)

He addresses JOE CLARK.

SENATOR:

Mist' Clark....

HAMBO:

(To SENATOR) Ain't you got no manners? We-all didn't sleep
wid you las' night!

SENATOR:

(Embarrassed) Good evenin', eve'ybody.

ALL THE MEN:

Good evenin', son,(boy) (Senator) etc.

SENATOR:

Mist' Clark, mama said is Daisy been here dis evenin'?

JOE CLARK:

Ain't laid my eyes on her. Ain't she workin' over in Maitland?
Yessuh... but she's off today and mama sent her down here to x
get de groceries.

SENATOR:

JOE CLARK:

Well, tell yo' ma I ain't seen her.

SENATOR:

Well, she say to tell you when she come, to tell her ma say
she better git home dat quick.

JOE CLARK:

I will. (Exit SENATOR, right.)

LIGE:

Bet she's off somewhere wid Dave or Jim.

WALTER:

I don't bet it... I know it. She's got them two in de go-long.
(Re-enter TEET and BOOTSIE from store. TEET has a

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letter and BOOTSIE two or three small parcels.
The men look up with interest as they come out on
the porch.)

WALTER: (Winking) Whut's dat you got, Teet... letter from Dave?

TEET: (Flowering) Naw indeed! It's a letter from my B-I-T-sweetie! (Rolls her eyes and hips.)

WALTER: (Winking) Well, ain't Dave yo' B-I-T-sweetie? I thought
y'all was 'bout to git married. Everywhere I looked dis
summer 'twas you an' Dave, Bootsie and Jim. I thought all
of y'all would've done jumped over de broomstick by now.

TEET: (Flourishing letter) Don't tell it to me... tell it to the
ever-lovin' Mr. Albert Johnson way over in Apopka.

BOOTSIE: (Rolling her eyes) Oh, tell 'em 'bout the ever-lovin' Mr.
Jimmy Cox from Altamont. Oh, I can't stand to see my baby
lose.

HAMBO: It's lucky y'all girls done got some more fellers, cause
look like Daisy done treed both Jim and Dave at once, or they
done treed her - one.

TEET: Let her have 'em... nobody don't keer. They don't handle de
"In God we trust" lak my Johnson. He's head bellman at de
hotel.

BOOTSIE: Mr. Cox get money's grandma and old grandpa change. (The
girls exit huffily.)

LINDSAY: (To HAMBO, pseudo-seriously) You oughtn't tease dem gals lak
dat.

HAMBO: Oh, I laks to see glas all mad. But dem boys is crazy sho
'muff. Before Daisy come back here they both had a good-look-
in' gal a piece. Now they 'bout to fall out and fight over
half a gal a-piece. Neither one won't give over and let de
other one have her.

LIGE: An' she ain't thinkin' too much 'bout no one man. (Looks off
left.)

Here she come now. God! She got a mean walk on her!

WALTER: Yeah, man. She handles a lot of traffic. Oh, mama, throw it
in de river... papa'll come git it!

LINDSAY: Aw, shut up, you married men!

LIGE: Man don't go blin' cause he gits married, do he? (Enter
DAISY, hurriedly. Stops at step a moment. She is
dressed in sheer organdie, white shoes and stockings.)

DAISY: Good evenin', everybody. (Walks up on the porch)

ALL THE MEN: (Very pleasantly) Good evenin', Miss Daisy.

DAISY: (To CLARK) Mama sent me after some meal and flour and some
bacon and sausage oil.

CLARK: Senator been here long time ago huntin' you.

DAISY: (Frightened) Did he? Oo... Mist' Clark, hurry up an' fix it
for me. (She starts on in the store.)

LINDSAY: (Giving her his seat) You better wait here, Daisy.
(WALTER kicks LIGE to call his attention to LINDSAY'S
attitude.)

It's powerful hot in dat store. Lemme run fetch 'em out to
you.

LIGE: (To LINDSAY) Run! Joe Lindsay, you ain't been able to run since
de big bell rung. Look at dat gry beard.

LINDSAY: Thank God, I ain't gray all over. I'm just as good a man right
now as any of you young 'uns. (He hurries on into the store)

WALTER: Daisy, where's yo' two body guards? It don't look natural to
see you thout nary one of 'em.

DAISY: (Archly) I ain't got no body guards. I don't know what you talkin' 'bout.

LIGE: Aw, don't try to come dat over us, Daisy. You know who we talk-
in' 'bout all right... but if you want me to come out flat-
footed... where's Jim and Dave?

DAISY: Ain't they playin' somewhere for de white folks?

LIGE: (To WALTER) Will you listen at dis gal, Walter? (To DAISY)

DAISY: When I ain't been long seen you and Dave going down to de lake
(Frightened) Don't y'all run tell mama where I been.

WALTER: Well, you tell us which one you laks de best and we'll wipe ou-
mouf (Gesture) and say nothin'. Dem boys been de best of
frien's all they life, till both of 'em took after you... then
good-bye, Katy bar de door!

DAISY: (Affected innocence) Ain't they still playin' and dancin'
together?

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LIGE: Yeah, but that's 'bout all they do 'gree on these days. That's de way it is wid men, young and old... I don't keer how long they been frien's and how thick they been... a woman kin come between 'em. David and Jonather never would have been friends so long if Jonather had of been any great hand wid de wimmen. You ain't never seen no two roosters that likes one 'nother.

DAISY: I ain't tried to break 'em up.

WALTER: Course you ain't. You don't have to. All two boys need to do is to git stuck on de same gal and they done broke up... right now! Wimmen is something can't be divided equal.

(Re-enter JOE LINDSAY and CLARK with the groceries.)

DAISY jumps up and grabs the packages.)

LIGE: (To DAISY) Want some of us... me... to go 'long and tote yo' things for you?

DAISY: (Nervously) Naw, mama is riding her high horse today. Long as I been gone it wouldn't do for me to come walkin' up wid nobody. (She exits hurriedly, right.)

(All the men watch her out of sight in silente)

CLARK: (Sighing) I God, know whut Daisy puts me in de min' of?

HAMBO: No, what? (They all lean together)

CLARK: I God, a great big mango... a sweet smell, you know, with a strong flavor, but not something you could mash up like a strawberry. Something with a body to it.

(General laughter, but not obscene.)

HAMBO: (Admiringly) Joe Clark! I didn't know you had it in you! (MRS. CLARK enters from store door and they all straighten up guiltily)

CLARK: (Angrily, to his wife) Now what do you want? I God, the minute I set down, her e you come...

MRS. CLARK: Somebody want a stamp, Jody. You know you don't 'low me to bove wid de post office. (CLARK rises sullenly and goes into the store.)

BRAZZLE: Say, Hambo, I didn't see you at our Sunday School picnic.

HAMBO: (Slicing some plug-cut tobacco) Nope, wan't there dis time.

WALTER: Looka here, Hambo. Y'all Baptist carry dis close-communion business too far. If a person ain't half drowned in de lake and half et up by alligators, y'all think he ain't baptized, so you can't take communion wid him. Nov, I reckon you can't even drink lemonade and eat chicken perlow wid us.

HAMBO: My Lord, boy, youse just full of words. Now, in de first place, if this year's picnic was lak de one y'all had last year... you ain't had no lemonade for us Baptists to turn down. You had a big ole barrel of rain water wid about a pound of sugar in it and one lemon cut up over de top of it.

LIGE: Man, you sho kin mold 'em!

WALTER: Well, I went to de Baptist picnic wid my mouf all set to eat chicken, when lo and behol' y'all had chitlin's! Do Jesus! Hol' on there a minute. There was plenty chicken at dat picnic, which I do know is right.

LINDSAY: WALTER: Only chicken I seen was a half a chicken yo' pastor musta tried to swaller whole cause he was choked stiff as a board when I come long... wid de whole deacon's board beatin' him in de back, tryin' to knock it out' his th'eat.

WALTER: Say, dat puts me in de min' of a Baptis' brother that was crazy 'bout de preachers and de preacher was crazy 'bout feed-in' his face. So his son got tired of tryin' to beat dese stump-mockers to de grub on the table, so one day he th'owed out some slams 'bout dese preachers. Dat made his ol' man mad, so he tol' his son to git out. He boy ast him, "Where mus' I go, papa?" He says, "Go on to hell I reckon - I don't keer where you go."

LIGE: So de boy left and was gone seven years. He come back one cold', windy night and rapped on de door. "Who dat?" de ol' man ast him. "It's me, Jack." De ol' man opened de door, so glad to see his son agin, and tol' Jack to come in. He did and looked all 'rogin' de place. Seven or eight preachers was sittin' round de fire eatin' and drinkin'.

"Where you been all dis time, Jack?" de old man ast him. "I been to hell," Jack tole him. "Tell us how it is down there, Jack." "Well," he says, "it's just like it is here.. you cain't git

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HEN: Let it boil.

HAWK: My guts a-growlin'.

HEN: Let 'em growl.

HAWK: I must have a chick.

HEN: You shan't have XEXXER.n'airn.

HAWK: My mama's sick.

HEN: Let her die.

HAWK: Chickeee!

HEN: My chicken's sleep.

(HAWK darts quickly around the hen and grabs a chicken and leads him off and places the captive on his knees at the store porch. After a brief bit of dancing he catches another, then a third, etc.)

HAMBO: (At the checkerboard, his voice rising above the noise of the playing children, slapping his sides jubilantly) XEXXERXEXXERXEXXEX.

Ha! Ha! I got you now. Go ahead on and move, Joe Clark... jus' go ahead on and move.

LOUNGERS: (Standing around two checker players)

OL' Deacon's got you now.

ANOTHER: Don't see how he can beat the Mayor like that.

ANOTHER: Got him in the Louisville loop. (These remarks are drowned by the laughter of the playing children directly in front of the porch. MAYOR JOE CLARK, disturbed in his concentration on the checkers and peeled at being beaten, suddenly turns toward the children, throwing up his hands.)

CLARK: Get on 'way from here, you limbs of Satan, making all that racket so a man can't hear his ears. Go on, you go on! (THE MAYOR looks about excitedly for the town marshall. Seeing him playing cards on the other side of the porch, he bellows)

Lum Boger, whyn't you git these kids away from here! What kind of a marshall is you? All this passel of young'uns around here under grown people's feet, creatin' disorder in front of my store.

(LUM BOGER puts his cards down l. zily, comes down stage and scatters the children away. One saucy little girl refuses to move.)

LUM BOGER: Whyn't you go on away from here, Matilda? Didn't you hear me tell you-all to move?

MATILDA: (Defiantly) Iain't goin' nowhere. You ain't none of my man! (Jerking herself free from him as LUM touches her)

My mama in the store and she told me to wait out here. So take that, ol' Lum.

LUM BOGER: You impudent little fuzzy, you! You must smell yourself... youse so fresh.

MATILDA: The wind musta changed and you smell your own top lip.

LUM BOGER: Don't make me have to grab you and take you down a buttonhole lower.

MATILDA: (Switching her little head) Go ahead on and grab me. You sho can't kill me, and if you kill me, you sho can't eat me. (She marches into the store.)

SENATOR: (Derisively from behind stump) Ol' dumb Lum! Hey! Hey! (LITTLE BOY, at edge of stage, thumbs his nose at the marshall. LUM lumbers after the small boy. Both exit.)

HAMBO: (To CLARK who has been thinking all this while what move to make)

You ain't got but one move... go ahead on and make it. What's de matter, Mayor?

CLARK: (Moving his checker) Aw, here.

HAMBO: (Piumphant) Now! Look at him, boys. I'm gonna laugh in notes. (Laughing to the scale and jumping a checker each time.)

Do, sol, fa, me, lo... one! (Jumping another checker)

La, sol, fa, me, do... two! (Another jump)

Do, sol, re, me, la... three! (Jumping a third)

Lo, sol, fa, me, re... four! (The crowd begins to roar with laughter. LUM BOGER returns, looking on. Children)

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HAMBO: Well, the Mayor ain't said nothin' 'bout it.

SITS: When the folks misbehaves in this town I think they oughta lock 'em up in a jail and make 'em work their fine out on the streets, then these needs would be cut down.

VOICE: How we gonna do that when we ain't got no jail?

SIMMS: Well, you sho needs a jail... you all needs a whole lot of improvements round this town. I ain't never pastored no town so way-back as this one here.

CLARK: (Who has lately emerged from the store, fanning himself, overhears this last remark and bristles up) That's that you say 'bout this town?

SITS: I say we needs some improvements here in this town - that's what.

CLARK: (In a powerful voice) And what improvements you figgers we needs?

SITS: A whole heap. Now, for one thing we really does need a jail, Mayor. We oughta stop runnin' these people out of town that misbehaves, and lock'em up. Otherx towns has jails, everytown I ever pastored had a jail. Don't see how come we can't have one.

CLARK: (Towering angrily above the preacher) Now, wait a minute, Simms. Don't you reckon the man who knows how to start a town knows how to run it? I paid two hundred dollars out of this right hand for this land and walked out here and started this town befo' you was born. I ain't like some of you new niggers, come here when grapes' ripe. I was here to cut new ground', and I been Mayor ever since.

SITS: Well, there ain't no sense in no one man stayin' Mayor all de time.

CLARK: Well, it's my town and I can be Mayor jus' as long as I want to. It was me that put this town on de map.

SITS: What map you put it on, Joe Clark? I ain't seen it on no map.

CLARK: (Indignant) I God! Listen here, Elder Simms. If you don't like the way I run this town, jus' take yur flat feets right on out and git yonder crost the woods. You ain't been here long enough to say nothin' nohow.

HAMBO: (From a nail keg) Yeah, you Methodis' niggers always tellin' people how to run things.

TAYLOR: (Practically unheard by the others) We do so know how to run things, don't we? Ain't Brother Mayor a Methodist, and ain't the school teacher a'...? (His remarks are drowned out by the others.)

SITS: No, we don't like the way you're runnin' things. Now looka here, (Pointing to the Marshall) You got that lazy Lum Boger here for marshall and he ain't old enough to be dry behin' his agrs yet... and all these able-bodied mens in this town! You won't 'low nobody else to run a store 'ceptin' you. And looka yonder (Happening to notice the street light)... only street lamp in town, you got in front of your place. (Indignantly) We pay the taxes and you got the lamp.

VILLAGER: Don't y'all fuss now. How come you two always yam-yammin' at each other?

CLARK: How come this fly-by-night Methodist preacher over here... ain't been here three months... tries to stand up on my store porch and tries to tell me how to run my town? (MATTIE CLARK, the Mayor's wife, comes timidly to the door, wiping her hands on her apron)

Ain't no man gonna tell me how to run my town. I God, I 'lected myself in and I'm gonna run it. (Terms and sees wife standing in door. Commandingly)

MATTIE: I God, Mattie, git on back in there and wait on that store! (Timidly) Jody, somebody else wantin' stamps.

CLARK: I God, woman, what good is you? Gwan, git in. Look like between women and preachers a man can't have no peace. (Exits)

SITS: (Continuing his argument) Now, when I pastored in Jacksonville you oughta see what linda jails they got there...

LOUNGER: White folks needs jails. We colored folks don't need no jails.

ANOTHER: Yes, we do, too. Elder Simms is right...

(The argument becomes a hubbub of voices)

TAYLOR: (Putting down his basket) Now, I tell you a jail...

MRS. TAYLOR: (Emerging from the store door, arms full of groceries, look-

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JIM: The 'oman I'm gonna marry ain't born yet and her maw is dead. (GIRLS come out giggling and exit. JIM begins to strum his guitar lightly at first as the talk goes on.)

CLARK: (To DAVE and JIM) Two of the finest gals that ever lived and friendly jus' like y'all is. You two boys better take 'em back and stop them shiftless ways.

HAMBO: Yeah, hurry up and do something! I wants to taste a piece yo' weddin' cake.

JIM: (Embarrassed but trying to be jocular) Whut you tryin' to rush me up so fast? Look at Will Cody here (Pointing to little man on porch)

he been promising to bring his already wife down for two months... and nair one of us ain't been her yet.

DAVE: Yeah, how you speck me to haul in a brand new wife when he can't lead a wagon-broke wife eighteen miles? Me, I'm goin' git one soon's Cody show me his'n. (General sly laughter at COD's expense.)

WALTER: (Snaps his fingers and pretends to remember something) Thass right, Cody. I been intendin' to tell you... I know where you kin buy a ready-built house for you and yo' wife. (Calls into the store.)

Hey, Clark, come on out here and tell Cody 'bout dat Bradley house. (To CODY) I know you wants to git a place of yo' own so you kin settle down.

HAMBO: He done moved so much since he been here till every time he walk out in his back yard his chickens lay down and cross they legs.

LINDSAY: Cody I thought you tole us you was goin' up to Sanford to bring dat 'oman down here last Saturday.

LIGE: That ain't de way he tole me 'bout it. Look, fellers, (Getting up and putting one hand on his hips and one finger of the other hand against his chin coquettishly)

Where you reckon I'll be next Saturday night? Sittin' up side of Miz Cody. (Great burst of laughter.)

SYKES JONES: (Laughing) Know what de folks tole me in Sanford? Dat was another man's wife. (Guffaws)

CODY: (Feebly) Aw, you don't know what you talkin' 'bout.

JONE: New, I don't know, but de folks in Sanford does. (Laughing) Dey tell me when dat lady's husband come home Saturday night, ole Cody jumped out de window. De man grabbed his ole repeater and run out in de yard to head im off. When Cody seen him come round de corner de house (Gestures) he fopped his wings and floow up on de fence. De man thowed dat shotgun dead on him. (Laughs) Den, man, Cody fopped his wings lak a buzzard (Gesture) and sailed on off. De man dropped to his knees lak dis (Gesture of kneeling on one knee and taking air)

Die! die! die! (Supposedly sound of shots as the gun is moved in a circle following the course of CODY'S supposed flight)

Cody just flew right on off and lit on a hill two miles off. Then, man! (Gesture of swift flight) In ten minutes he was back here in Batonville and in he bed.

WALTER: I passed there and seen his house shakin', but I didn't know how come.

HAMBO: Aw, leave de boy alone... If you don't look out some of y'all goin' to have to break his record.

LIGE: I'm prepared to break it now. (General laughter)

JIM: 'Tell, anyhow, I don't want to marry and leave Dave.. yet awhile. (Picking a chord on guitar)

DAVE: And I ain't gonna leave Jim. We been pallin' around together ever since we hollered titty mama, ain't we, boy?

JIM: Sho is. (Music of the guitar increases in volume. DAVE shuffles a few steps and the two begin to sing.)

Rabbit on the log,

I ain't got no dog.

How am I gonna git him?

God knows.

Page (13)

MULE BONE

Page (14)

**DAVE:**
Rabbit on the log.
Ain't gpt no dog.
Shoot him with my rifle
Bam! Bam!

(Some of the villagers join in song and others get up and march around the porch in time with the music. BOOTSIE and TEETS re-enter, TEETS placing her letter down the neck of her blouse. JOE LINDSAY grabs TEETS and WALTER THOMAS grabs BOOTSIE. There is dancing, treating and general jollification. Little children dance the parse-me-la. The music fills the air just as the sun begins to go down. Enter DAISY TAYLOR coming down the road toward the store.)

**GLARK:**
(Bawls out from the store porch) I God, there's Daisy again.
(Most of the dancing stops, the music slows down and then stops completely. DAVE and JIM greet DAISY casually as she approaches the porch.)

**JIM:** Well, Daisy, we knows you, too.
**DAVE:** Gal, youse jus' as pretty as a speckled pup.
**DAISY:** (Giggling) I see you two boys always playin' and singin' together. That music sounded right good floating down the road.

**JIM:** Yeah, child, we'se been playin' for the white folks all week. We'se playin' for the colored now.
**DAVE:** (Showing off, twirling his dancing feet) Yeah, we'se stan-din' on our abstract and livin' on our income.
**OLD MAN:** Um-ump, but they ain't never workin'. Jus' roun' here play-in' as usual.

**JIM:** Some folks think you ain't workin' lessen you smellin' a mule. (He sits back down on box and picks at his guitar.) Think you gotta be beatin' a man to his barn every mornin'. Glad to be roun' home with we-all again, ain't you Daisy?
**VOICE:**
**DAISY:** Is I glad? I jus' got off special early this evenin' to come over here and see everybody. I was kinda 'fraid sundown 'XX' would catch me 'fore I got roun' that lake. Don't know how I'm gonna walk back to my workin' place in the dark by mu-self.

**DAVE:** Don't no girl as good-lookin' as you is have to go home by herself tonight.
**JIM:** No, cause I'm here.
**DAVE:** (To DAISY) Don't you trust yourself roun' that lake wid all them 'gators and moccasins with that nigger there, Daisy (Pointing to JIM) He's jus' full of rabbit blood. What you need is a real man... with good feet. (Cutting a dance step) I ain't thinkin' 'bout goin' home yet. I'm goin' in the store.

**JIM:** What you want in the store?
**DAISY:** I want some gum.
**DAVE:** (Starting toward door) Girl, you don't have to go in there to git no gum. I'll go in there and buy a carload of gum. What kind you want?
**DAISY:** Bubble gum. (DAVE goes in the store with his hand in his pocket. The sun is wetting and the twilight deep-ens.)

**JIM:** (Pulling package out of his pocket and laughing) Here yo' gum, baby. What it takes to please the ladies, I totes it. I don't have to go get it, like Dave. What you gimme for it?
**DAISY:** A bushel and a peck, and a hug around the neck. (She embraces JIM playfully. He hands her the gum, patting his shoulder as he sits on box.) @

**JIM:** Oh, thank you. Youse a ready man.
**DAISY:** Yeah, there's a lot of good parts to me. You can have West Tampa if you want it.
**DAVE:** You always was a nice quiet boy, Jim.
**DAVE:** (Emerging from the store with a package of gum) Here's yo' gum, Daisy.

**JIM:** Oh, youse late. She's done got gum now. Chaw that yourse'f.
**DAVE:** (Slightly peeved and surprised) Huh, you mighty fast there now with Daisy but you wasn't that fast gettin' out of that white man's chicken house last week.
**JIM:** Who you talkin' 'bout?

Page (14)

MULE BONE

Page (16)

Grabbed me by the neck
And led me to the door.
But I rode some,
But I rode some.
Grabbed me by the neck,
And led me to the door.
Rapped me cross the head with a forty-four,
But I rode some!

First thing I saw in jail
Was a pot of peas.
But I rode some,
But I rode some.
First thing I saw in jail
Was a pot of peas.
But I rode some,
But I rode some.
The peas was good,
The meat was fat,
 Fell in love with the chain gang jus' for that,
But I rode some.

(DAVE acts out the song in dancing pantomime and when it ends there are shouts and general exclamations of approval from the crowd.)

VOICES:
OLD MAN:
I don't blame them white folks for goin' crazy 'bout dat.
Oh, when I was a young boy I used to swing the gals roun' on
that piece.

DAISY: (To JIM) Seem like your playin' gits better and better.

DAVE: (Quickly) And how 'bout my singin'? (Everybody laughs)

VOICES IN CROWD:
HA!! Ha! Ol' Dave's gittin' jealous when she speaks o'
Jim.

JIM:
(To DAVE, in fun) Ain't nothin' to it but my playin'. You ain't got no singin' voice. If that's singin', God's a gopher.

DAVE:
(Half-seriously) My singin' is a whole lot better'n your playin'. You jus' go along and fram. The reason why the white folks gives us money is cause I'm singin'.

JIM: Yeah?

DAVE: And you can't dance.

VOICE IN CROWD: You oughta dance. Big as yo' feet is, Dave.

DAISY:
(Diplomatically) Both of you-all is wonderful and I would
like to see Dave dance a little.

DAVE:
There now, I told you. That did I tell you. (To JIM)
Stop woofin' and pick a little tune there so that I can show
Daisy somethin'.

JIM:
Pick a tune? I bet if you fool with me I'll pick your bones
jus' like a buzzard did the rabbit. You can't sing and now
you wants to dance.

DAVE: Yeah, and I'll am your head. Come on and play, good-for-nothin'.

JIM:
All right, then. You say you can dance... show these people what you can do. But don't bring that little stuff I been seein' you doin' all these years. (JIM plays and DAVE dances, various members of the crowd keep time with their hands and feet, DAISY looks on enjoying herself immensely.)

DAISY:
(As DAVE cuts a very fancy step) I ain't seen nothin' like
this up North. Dave you sho hot.

(As DAVE cuts a more complicated step the crowd applauds, but just as the show begins to get good, suddenly JIM stops playing)

DAVE: (Surprised) What's de matter, buddy?

JIM:
(Envious of the attention DAVE has been gettin' from DAISY, disgustedly)

Oh, nigger, I'm tired of seein' you cut the fool. 'Sides that, I been playin' all afternoon for the white folks.

DAISY: But I thought you was playin' for me now, Jim.

JIM:
Yeah, I'd play all night long for you, but I'm gettin' sick
o' Dave roun' here showin' off. Let him git somethin' and
play for himself if he can. (An OLD MAN with a lighted
lantern enters.)

Page (16)

RULE BONE

Page (17)

<table>
  <tbody>
    <tr>
      <td>DAISY:</td>
      <td>(Coyly) Well, honey, play some more for me then, and don't min' Dave. I reckon he done danced enough. Play me "Shake That Thing".</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>OLD MAN WITH LANTERN:</td>
      <td>Sho, you ain't stomed, is you, boy? Music soun' mighty good floatin' down that dark road.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>OLD WOMAN:</td>
      <td>Yeah, Jim, go on play a little more. Don't get to actin' so niggerish this evenin'.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>DAVE:</td>
      <td>Aw, let the ol' darky alone. Nobody don't want to hear him play, nonow. I know I don't.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>JIM:</td>
      <td>Well, I'm gonna play. (He begins to pick "Shake That Thing". TEETS and BOOTSIIE begin to dance with LIGE MOEELY and FRANK WARRICK. As the tune gets good, DAVE cannot resist the music either.)</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>DAV:</td>
      <td>Old nigger's evil bu' he sho can play. (He begins to do a few steps by himself, then twirls around in front of DAISY and approaches her. DAISY, overcome by the music, begins to step rhythmically toward DAVE and together they dance unobserved by JIM, absorbed in picking his guitar.)</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>DAISY:</td>
      <td>Look here, baby, at this new step I learned up North.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>DAVE:</td>
      <td>You can show me anythin', sugar lump.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>DAISY:</td>
      <td>Hold me tight now. (But just as they begin the new movement, JIM notices DAISY and DAVE. He stops playing again and lays his guitar down.)</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>VOICES IN CROWD:</td>
      <td>(Disgustedly) Aw, come on, Jim. You mus' be jealous.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>JIM:</td>
      <td>To, I ain't jealous. I jus' get tired of seein' that ol' nigger clowin' all the time.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>DAV:</td>
      <td>(Laughing and pointing to JIM on porch) Look at that mad byby. Take that lip up off the groum'. Got your mouth stuck out jus' because some one is enjoyin' themselves. (He comes up and pushes JIM playfully.)</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>JIM:</td>
      <td>You better go 'head and let me alone. (To DAISY) Come here, Daisy!</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>LIGE:</td>
      <td>That's jus' what I say. Niggers can't have no fun without someone gettin' mad - specially over a woman.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>JIM:</td>
      <td>I ain't mad. Daisy, 'scuse me, honey, but that fool, Dave -</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>DAVE:</td>
      <td>I ain't mad neither - Jim always tryin' to throw off on me. But you can't joke him.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>DAISY:</td>
      <td>(Soothingly) Aw, now, now!</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>JIM:</td>
      <td>You ain't jokin'. You means that, nigger. And if you tryin' to get hot, first thing, you can pull off my blue shirt you put on this momin'.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>DAVE:</td>
      <td>Youse a-got that wrong. I ain't got on no shirt of yours.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>JIM:</td>
      <td>Yes, you is go't on my shirt, too. Don't tell me you ain't go't on my shirt.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>DAV:</td>
      <td>Well, even if I is, you can just lift your big plantations out of my shoes. You can jus' foot it home barefooted.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>JIM:</td>
      <td>You try to take any shoes offa me!</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>LIGE:</td>
      <td>(Pacifying them) Aw, there ain't no use of all that. What you all want to start this quarrelin' for over a little jokin'?</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>JIM:</td>
      <td>Nobody's quarrelin' - I'm jus' playin' a little for Daisy and Dave's out there clowmin' with her.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>CLARK:</td>
      <td>(In doorway) I ain't gonna have no fussin' roun' my store, no way. Shut up, you-all.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>JIM:</td>
      <td>Well, Mayor Clark, I ain't mad with him. We'se been frien's all our lives. He's alep in my bed and wore my clothes and et my grub....</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>DAVE:</td>
      <td>I et your grub? And many time as you done laid down with your belly full of my grandma's collard greens! You done et my meat and bread a whole lot more than I et your stewed fish-heads.</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>JIM:</td>
      <td>I'd rather eat stewed fish-heads than steal out of other folkses chicken-houses so much till you went to sleep on the roost and fell down one night and broke up the settin' hen. (Loud laughter from the crowd)</td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
      <td>DAVE:</td>
      <td>Youse a liar if you say I stole anybody's chickens. I didn't have to. But you - 'fore you started goin' 'round with me, playin' that little box of yours, you was so hungry you had the white mouth. If it wasn't for these white folks throwin' mah money for mah dancin', you would be thin as a whisper right now.</td>
    </tr>
  </tbody>
</table>

page (17)

MULE BONE

Page (19)

OLD WOMAN:

knocks him out. DAVE falls prone on his back.
There is great excitement.)

(Screams) Lawdy, is he kilt? (Several men rush to the fallen man.)

VOICE:

CLARK:

Run down to the pump and get a dipper o' water.

(To his wife in door) Mattie, come out of that store with a bottle of witch hazely oil quick as you can! Jim Weston, I'm gonna arrest you for this. You, Lum Boger. Where is that marshall? Lum Boger? (LUM BOGER detaches himself from the crowd.)

Arrest Jim!

LUM:

(Grabbing JIM'S arm, relieves him of the :ule bone and looks helplessly at the MAYOR)

Now I got him arrested, what's I goin' to do with him?

CLARK:

Lock him up back yonder in my barn till Monday when we'll have the trial in de Baptist Church.

LINDSAY:

Yeah, just like all the rest of them Methodist - always tryin' to take undercurrents on people.

WALTER:

Ain't no worse'n some of you Baptists, nohow. You-all don't run this town. We got jus' as much to say as you have.

CLARK:

(Angrily to both men) Shut up! Done had enough arguin' in front of my place. (To LUM BOGER) Take that boy on and lock him up in my barn. And save that mule bone for evidence.

(LUM BOGER leads JIM off toward the back of the store. A crowd follows. XXXXX Other men and women are busy applying restoratives to DAVE.)

DAISY stands alone, unnoticed in the center of the stage.)

DAISY:

(Worriedly) Now, who's gonna take me home?

:::CURTAIN:::

MULBONE

Page (2)

(General laughter on Methodist side.)

SISTER TAYLOR: Some folks is a whole lot more keerful 'bout a louse in de church then da is in day house. (Looks pointedly at SISTER LY.)

SISTER LY: (bristling) 'That you gamin' at me fo'? Wid your popeyes lookin' like skirt gimy-nuts?

SISTER TAYLOR: I hate to tell you what yo' mouf looks like. I thinks you an' soap an' water musta had some words. Over-time you lifts yo' arm you smell like a nest of yellow hammers.

SISTER LY: "Tell, I ain't seen no bath tubs in your house.

SISTER TAYLOR: Mought yo have no tub, but ta'n't no lice on me though.

SISTER LY: Av, you got just as many bed-bugs and chinces as anybody else. I seen de bed-bugs marchin' out of yo' house in de mornin', keepin' step just like soldiers drillin'.

SISTER TAYLOR: You got that wrong, I --------
(Enter BROTHER NIXON with his jack-k on his arm and climbs over the knees of a bench full of people and finds a seat against the wall directly beneath an empty lamp bracket. He looks around for some place to dispose of his coat. Sees the lamp-bracket and hangs the coat there. Hitches up his pants and sits down.)

SISTER LY: Wait a minuet (rising up and glarin at NIXON) SHUT NIXON, you take yo' lousy coat down off these sacred walls. Ain't you Meth'dis' niggers got no guption in de house of wash-up!

(NIXON mocks her by standing alimbo and shaking hi self like a woman. General laughter. He prepares to resume his set, but looks over and sees JACOB LINDO on his feet, and glaring angrily at him. He quickly reaches up and takes the coat down and folds it across his arme.)

SISTER TAYLOR: (Looks very pointedly at SISTER LY, then takes a dip of snuff and looks sneering at LY again.) If I kept de dirty house you keeps ma mouth would be a closed book. (Loud laughter from the Meth'dis' side.)

SISTER LY: (furious, rises arms alimbo.) Well, my house might not be exactly clean, but there's no fly-specks on my character! They didn't have to git de sheriff to make Willie marry me like they did to make Tony marry you.

SISTER TAYLOR: (jumpin' up and starting across the aisle. She is pulled back out of the aisle by friends.) Yeah, they got de sheriff to make Tony marry me, but he married me and made me a good husband too. I sits in my rocking cheer on my porch ev'ry Sat'day ev'nin' and say: "Here come Tony and them"

(scornfully) Them What?

SISTER LY: Them dollars, that's what! How you sho orter go it de sheriff and a shot gun and make some of dese men marry yo' daughter, ADA.

SISTER LY: (jumpin' up and startin' across the aisle. She is restrained, but struggles hard. Leme go, JIM MORGENT! Turn me go! I'm goin' to stomp her till she can't sit down.

SISTER TAYLOR: (also struggling) Let her come on! If I get my hands on her I'll turn her every way but loose.

SISTER LY: Just come on out dis church, LUCY TAYLOR. I'll beat you on everything but yo' tongue, and I'll give dat a lick if you stick it out. (to the men holding her) Turn me go! I'm goin' to fix her so her on Mammy won't know her.

SISTER TAYLOR: (trying to free herself) They don't y'all turn dat ole twist mouth 'oman loose! All I wants to do is hit her one lick. I betche I'll take her way from here faster than de word of God.

SISTER LY: (to men holding Mrs. Taylor) I don't see how come y'all won't let old LUCY TAYLOR a loose. Make out she so bad, now. She may be red hot but I kin cool her. I'll ride her just like Jesus rode a jockey.

(as the subsis into their seats again, but glare at each other, MAYOR CLARK comes thru the pulpit door. He is annoyed at the clamor going on. He tries to quell the noise in