{ 151 }

are such an abominable race of degenerate re-
probates, that they admit of no comparifon
on this fide the refidence of devils. They are
a corporation of whores, coiners, sweaters,
highwaymen, bawds, pick-pockets, and houfe-
breakers, who, like bats and owls, ſculk in
obfcure holes by day-light, but wander in the
night in fearch of opportunities wherein to
exercife their villainy. They have a two-
fold view in frequenting this place; one to
meet their affociates in knavery, and the other
to trepan inexperienced perſons that may
be drawn hither by curioſity, or for conven-
nience; and they frequently extort money
from them, either by humouring their follies,
or terrifying them by threats of fending for a
conſtable to take them to the round-houſe.
Indeed, the company, generally confidered,
was compofed of knaves and fools; the for-
mer come in queſt of the latter, who are their
prey, and on whom they live, as rogues do of
every degree, from the polite affemblies at
St. James's to the rabble in every boozing
ken throughout the town."

Fortunately we eſpied in a corner an old
friend of Mentor's, whose peculiar humour it
was to vifit theſe nocturnal reſorts, ſo that
he was capable of giving us a full information
of the different characters that frequented it.
We needed only to aſk the favour of his in-
telligence, when he began immediately to
defecant on the motley group before us, to my
great entertainment in particular. " That
curmudgeon in the oppoſite box (faid he) is a
neigh-

( 158 )

ages, sexes and conditions. A genius, acute in
his disposition, perforated a butcher, and cut
up with admirable skill and dexterity the prime
parts of a half-trained fop, who wanted no-
thing to recommend him but decency and com-
mon sense. A chimney-tweeper was most
agreeably represented by a droll blade, who
fung the fong that concludes each verfe with
There are sweepers in high life as well as in low,
with great spirit and propriety. This wag at-
tempted to prove, that, like the devil, he was
not so black as he might be represented; and
further, that in point of morality he was pre-
ferable to the greatest part of mankind, who
generally put the best side outermost, while his
worst side was expofed to public view; and
that, instead of resembling the hypocrites of fo-
ciety, who may be deemed public nuisances,
he was of general advantage to the people, by
removing nuisances from the public. A lamp-
lighter was very characteristically filled by a
little nimble-footed spark, who ran about with
the agility of a Mercury, and feemed as well
adapted to fetch and carry as a *Ferry Mungo*,
or the most fervile, officious dupe, within the
whole circle of a drawing-room, during the
hours of a grand levee. A scavenger was most
admirably supported by a ftidy, broad-backed
fellow, who feemed able to bear all that could
be laid upon him, and was as able to make
black white, belpatter, or throw dirt, as
Anti-Sejanus, Cinna, or any industrious hire-
ling in the kingdom. A mock-patriot was
filled with peculiar propriety; he had a label
on

on

( 164 )

mouly thick tails, exceeding in size many of
their spindle-shanks, and plaiftered as thick
with powder or flour, as a twelfth-cake, or a
cabbage plant, with snow after a shower of
many hours.—In this venerable class there is a
long train of etceteras; but these shall suffice,
I shall only add, patient auditors, that I had
once a design of compiling a complete body of
armsmanship, as there is one of horsemanship, in
which many curious anecdotes would have been
inflated. I intended to have added all their
diffeates and cures; but alas! merit in these
days meets with no encouragement; I could
raife no subscribers, and was fairly told I was
an esf for my project.

This very droll and pictureque representation of a very numerous family, termed the family of *human affes*, was heard with the utmost glee, and received with universal applause; nor can the deviser of so droll and fatirical a plan be too much recommended in this age, when every kind of vice and folly grows upon us daily, and a third part of our Gazette is almost taken up with the lift of bankrupts.

The last character was an Harlequin, aptly
representing, by his motley, party-coloured
drefs, and his affuming a diversity of geffures,
the *quicquid agunt homines*; and, by his mask,
the difguife that moft men affume; or, in a
word, that life itself is a masquerade, a farce,
a tale, that on serious review is a mere nothing.

Before I close my undertaking in character
of Spy, I beg leave to subjoin a brief account
of a place no lesf celebrated than any before-
mentioned.