Philip Morris
ORIGINAL LONDON Cigarettes

The one smoke
that always
"shows class."

CAMBRIDGE 25¢.
regular size

AMBASSADOR 35¢.
after-dinner size

"The Little
Brown Box"

DAUGHTER.—Mamma, Mr. Blank proposed to me last night.

MOTHER.—Did you accept him, daughter?

DAUGHTER.—Yes, mamma.

MOTHER.—Has he any money, daughter?

DAUGHTER.—Only eighteen hundred dollars a year, mamma.

MOTHER.—Well, daughter, handle him carefully till Spring. Possibly you can pick up something better during the Winter.—Washington Critic.

IN vain they told the heiress that the duke was an impostor and worse. "Why," said a friend, "I have read there is a price upon his head." But the heiress, all serene, only answered: "I have the price!" —Young's Magazine.

RUDYARD KIPLING slandered woman by defining her as "a rag and a bone and a hank of hair," but, according to the *Springfield Republican*, a Lonaconing lady, seven years married, gets back rhythmically with this synopsis of a man: "A jag and a drone and a tank of air." —Rochester Times.

PENSIONED AND RETIRED.

PUCK has pensioned and retired a long list of old jokes. They have rendered good service, but their day is done. They may continue working for other humorous papers, less exacting in their requirements than this one, but they cannot work longer for PUCK. They have earned the right to rest. They include—

The Mother-in-Law Joke.

The Office-Boy-Ball-Game - Grandmother's-Funeral Joke.

The Jag-Coming-Home-to-Wife Joke.

The Jew-Setting-Fire-to-His-Store Joke.

The Inane He-and-She Joke.

The Boarding-House-Grub Joke.

The Actors-Walking-Home Joke.

The Saloon-Sidedoor-and-Cop Joke.

The Father - Kicking - Out - Daughter's-Lover Joke.

The Cannibals - Cooking - Missionary Joke.

The Man-Under-Busted-Auto Joke.

The Billygoat-and-Tin-Can Joke.

The Spring-Poet-Editor Joke.

The Farmer - Bunco-Steerer - Gold-Brick Joke.

The Wife - Waiting - for - Husband-with-Rolling-Pin Joke.

The Jew-Failure Joke.

The Southern-Colonel-Rum Joke.

The Cowboy-Tenderfoot-Dance Joke.

The Coon-and-Razor Joke.

The Young-Wife's-First-Biscuits Joke.

The Tramp-Afraid-of-Water Joke.

The Scanty-Bathing-Suit Joke.

The St.-Patrick's-Day-Orangeman Joke.

The Fourth-of-July-Battered-Kid Joke.

The Fisherman-Liar Joke.

The Dimé-Novel-Messenger-Boy Joke.

The Servant-Girl-Broken-China Joke.

The Farmer-Blowing-Out-Gas Joke.

The Despotic - Janitor - Timid - Tenant Joke.

The Chorus - Girl-Stage - Door - Johnny Joke.

The Manless-Summer-Hotel Joke.

The Tramp-and-Bull-Dog Joke.

The Old-Maid-and-Man-Under-Bed Joke.

The Coon-and-Chicken-Coop Joke.

The Walking-the-Baby-at-Night Joke.

The Suburban-Borrowers Joke.

The Appendicitis-Big-Doctor's-Bill Joke.

The Pittsburgh-Smoke Joke.

The Chicago-Big-Feet Joke.

The Sleepy-Philadelphia Joke.

You don't need to be told where you can find these jokes. They have numerous abiding places. But if you'd like something new for a change—something not made in a mould or with a stencil—PUCK will give it to you.

DON'T wait to be asked: "Did you see that joke in PUCK?" Get PUCK yourself and ask the other fellow.

ANOTHER word as to PUCK'S cartoons: When PUCK made its first appearance, back in 1877, cartoons were a novelty in the United States.

BROMO~
SELTZER
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HEADACHES

10¢,25¢,50¢, & $100 Bottles.

They could be found only in PUCK and in one or two of PUCK's weekly contemporaries. Now almost every daily paper in the country has its own or "syndicated" cartoons, and the cartoon is a novelty no longer. Cartoons, to attract in these days, must have merit above the ordinary—merit in point, in strength, in sincerity. If to these be added skill in draughtsmanship and skill in printing, so much the better. PUCK offers you all these qualities in its cartoon pages and this fact in addition—that it tries to be fair as well as strong.

A CANDIDATE whom PUCK did not support for office wrote to us as follows after a recent election:

> "I want to thank you for the support given by PUCK during the campaign. I do not mean to say that it has been a thick-and-thin supporter, but the tenor of its editorials and its cartoons have been in line with the fight

> that we have been making against contrasted privilege. The difference between PUCK and — has been so great that I feel constrained to express my appreciation of the fairness which you have shown.

> "Very truly yours,

> In regard to cartoons, PUCK is politically independent and fearless. There is no "skeleton in its closet." It has no immune list of men and subjects which, for "business" reasons, must never be mentioned. It does not, through its cartoons, excuse and defend in one political party what it would condemn unsparingly in another. No machine, political or private, has a voice in its management, and its cartoonists in consequence work with free hands. Their advantage over those whose hands are tied is obvious. Also important. PUCK's readers get the benefit.

> SEE "Pinchot's Inferno" by Keppler, and "Sifting the Dirt" by Glackens, cartoons in our issue of January 19th.

PUCK : AMERICA :: PUNCH : ENGLAND

THE SOCIETY PHOTOGRAPHER.

> "Wear a pleasant expression, please. Think of something agreeable; your possible divorce, for example."

> —Lustige Woche.

THE COWARDLY EGG.

> "When I arose to speak," related a martyred statesman, "someone hurled a base, cowardly egg at me, and it struck me on the chest."

> "And what kind of an egg might that be?" asked a fresh young man.

> "A base, cowardly egg," explained the statesman, "is one that hits you and then runs." —Everybody's.

> "Did you ever stop to think, my dear," said Mr. Micawber, gazing at his plate of lobster salad, "that the things we love most in this life are the very things that never agree with us?"

> "Will you be so kind," said Mrs. Micawber, straightening up, "as to tell me whether you are speaking of the salad or of me, sir?" —Tit-Bits.

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