THE A.B.C. TELEVISION NETWORK

PRESENTS

"TAKE IT FROM ME"

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 13, 1954

STARRING

JEAN CARROLL

with

ALAN CARNEY
and
LYNN LORING

STAFF

PRODUCER - DIRECTOR
ALAN DINEHART

WRITERS
ARNIE ROSEN
and
COLEMAN JACOBY

ASSOC. DIRECTOR
BOB FOSTER

PROGRAM ASSISTANT
TOM LUFKIN

CAST

(11th SHOW)

VIDEO

JEAN IN HER DINETTE. SHE HAS
A SMALL OLD-FASHIONED LOOKING
TRUNK, ON THE TABLE IN FRONT
OF HER.

AUDIO

JEAN:

Today's my anniversary. It was just 11 years
ago that I stood before the Judge and he
sentenc...er pronounced us man and wife.

Then we jumped in a cab and went speeding
down Park Avenue. And there was the
Waldorf Astoria and two miles further on was
our hotel.

I remember I stood around shy and
embarrassed while Herbie argued with the
cab-driver over the tip.

Finally it was all settled and we went up
to the room and the first thing I did was
put a steak on Herbie's eye.

Then the next day Herbie got tickets and
we went on a cruise to Bermuda. It was so
romantic looking out through the porthole
and seeing all those underwater-fish.
Herbie got the tickets at a real bargain
and truthfully, the cabin wasn't bad...
except the stokers were pretty noisy right
above us.

(MORE)

-1-

JEAN: (CONT)

Ah, but we had a glorious two-week
honeymoon. Herbie was so happy he didn't
even care about the 80 dollars it cost.
You know I joke a lot about Herbie and our
marriage but actually I'm sentimental..every
anniversary I look thru my souvenirs..

OPENS TRUNK LID

TAKES OUT A 8 x 11
PHOTO LOOKS AT IT
TENDERLY.

Here's our wedding picture..the whole
family..there's my mother standing there
crying...

PICKS UP RING BOX..
OPENS IT AND TAKES OUT
RING...

And here's the first wedding ring Herbie
gave me. Too bad we don't have color
television so you could see what a pretty
green it is.

PUTS IT DOWN AND
PICKS UP ANOTHER PHOTO

And look at this..a picture of our first
anniversary party..my mother's still
crying!

PUT PICTURE DOWN AND
PICK UP GRAINS OF RICE

Would you believe it, here's a few grains
of rice they threw at us after the ceremony.
We had a lot more..but Herbie said it was
a shame to let it go to waste.

PICK UP A SNAPSHOT

Ah..here's a snapshot of Herbie and me
on the beach at Bermuda.

(MORE)

-2-

JEAN: (CONT)

That was the day Herbie fell asleep in the
sun and got his stomach terribly
sunburnt - what a potroast!

PICKS UP TWO TICKETS

Gee...and look at these..the theatre
ticket stubs of the first musical Herbie
ever took me to...what seats we had..I
could almost hear the music.

PICK UP LETTER

And here's a letter Herbie sent me during
the war..it's full of stories of danger and
heroism...Poor Herbie..it must have been
terrible at Fort Dix!

LOOKS INTO TRUNK BUT
DOESN'T TAKE ANYTHING
OUT UNTIL LAST LINE..

And here's the first sweater I ever knitted
for Herbie..he's gained a little weight
since then..

HOLDS UP A SIZE 36
SWEATER. PUTS IT
ASIDE...

AND PICKS UP A DIARY..

And here's a diary I used to keep...it
seems so silly now..(READS AS SHE OPENS IT)
"August 15th, dear diary...met a man at a
party, and the moment I saw him I knew he'd
make an ideal husband. I hope I see him
again soon." (TO CAMERA) Gee, I remember..
it was at that same party I met Herbie!....
(LOOKS BACK INTO DIARY AND FLIP PAGE)

(MORE)

-3-

SHE GLANCES AT HER
WATCH AND STARTS PUTTING
THE OBJECTS BACK INTO
THE TRUNK....

PUTS THE REFILLED TRUNK
BACK IN CLOSET AS SHE
GETS INTO HER HAT AND
COAT

GOES TO BLACK AND LIGHTS
UP ON JEWELRY STORE
INTERIOR. DOWAGER IS
BEING SHOWN A TRAY OF
JEWELRY, BY CLERK...

PUTS ONE TRAY DOWN AND
PICKS ANOTHER UP..SHOWS
IT TO HER...

DISMISSES IT WITH A
WAVE OF HER HAND.

### JEAN: (CONT)

And listen to this entry.."November 1st,
Herbie, came over to dinner for the first
time. November 15th..Herbie came over to
dinner for the 15th time!"

I better put these things away. I have to
run down to the jewelry store, and buy an
Anniversary Gift for Herbie. I've been
saving out of my house-money for about
two months for his present, and I think
I've got just enough...$40.00.

Well, (SNOOTY) on to Tiffany's.

(MUSIC: __________ BRIDGE)

### DOWAGER:

I'd like to see something with rubies and
emeralds please.

### CLERK:

Of course Mrs. Van Clyde.. here is a fine
collection... these are priced at about ten
thousand dollars a piece.

### DOWAGER:

I am not interested in costume jewelry.

### CLERK:

Of course Madame.

-4-

**DOWAGER:**

I'd like to see something very French and masculine..it's for Monsieur Foo Foo.

**CLERK:**

Oh, is he somebody you met on your trip to Europe.

**DOWAGER:**

He is a French poodle.

**CLERK:**

I see.

**DOWAGER:**

I want something for his new collar.

**CLERK:**

What size collar, Madam?

**DOWAGER:**

I don't know exactly.

**CLERK:**

Well, perhaps Madam could bring him in for a fitting?

**DOWAGER:**

Oh, no, I want this to be a surprise.

**CLERK:**

His birthday?

-5-

**DOWAGER:**

No.

**CLERK:**

I know..he became a father.

**DOWAGER:**

Don't be vulgar...

**CLERK:**

I'm sorry Madam.. would you care to look
at this selection.

**JEAN:**

I wonder if you could show me a.....

WHILE THE TWO OF THEM
LOOK OVER THE STONES..
JEAN COMES IN..GOES
RIGHT OVER TO THEM

THE TWO TURN ICEY STARES
ON JEAN..THE DOWAGER THRU
HER LORGNETTE..THE
CLERK JUST DOWN HIS
NOSE....

**CLERK:** (CHILLY)

Would you mind waiting just a moment.

**DOWAGER:**

Well...

TURNS HER BACK ON JEAN
AND GOES BACK TO JEWEL
TRAY..JEAN SAYS TO
CAMERA..

**JEAN:**

She must be very rich.. she's got two
monocles.

-6-

DOWAGER:

Show me something in diamonds...
Monsieur Foo Foo looks perfectly
handsome in diamonds.. they go so well with
his big green eyes and dark curly hair...

JEAN: (TO CAMERA)

He sounds like a doll.. he must be one of
those young gigilos.

DOWAGER:

..he's almost five years old you know.

JEAN:

I didn't think he was that young.

CLERK:

These are perfect blue white stones..
and these are priced at only $17,000.

DOWAGER:

I'll take them.

JEAN GAPES AT HER
LEANING ON COUNTER

CLERK:

Very good Madam.

DOWAGER:

And have them gift wrapped... Monsieur
Foo Foo likes to tear the packages open
with his teeth..

JEAN SLIPS DOWN ON HER
ELBOW WHEN SHE HEARS
THIS..

-7-

AS SHE WALKS BY JEAN
STICKS HER FOOT OUT AND
TRIPS THE DOWAGER...WHO
STUMBLES..REGAINS HER
DIGNITY AND LEAVES..

TAKES A TRAY AND PUTS
IT ON THE COUNTER...

**CLERK:**

It'll be delivered this afternoon...
Good Day Mrs. Van Clyde.

**DOWAGER:**

Good Day...(GLARES AT JEAN AGAIN
THROUGH HER LORGNETTE) Ohhh....

**CLERK:**

Now then..can I help you?

**JEAN:**

Well, I'd like to see a wedding ring
for a man, please.

**CLERK:**

Very well.

Here's an excellent buy (PICKS UP A RING)

**JEAN:**

How much is it?

**CLERK:**

$4500.00.

**JEAN:**

Oh..haven't you got anything that's a
little..you should pardon the expression..
cheaper.

-8-

PICKS UP THE SECOND
RING.

PUTS IT BACK.

HE TAKES OUT A TRAY...

AS JEAN BUSIES HERSELF
AN ELDERLY SUGAR DADDY
COMES IN WITH DAZZLING
YOUNG BLONDE...

CLERK:

Oh...well, this one sells for only
$3,000.00.

JEAN:

Oh..that's too much.

CLERK:

Oh.

JEAN:

I'll be frank with you..I have only
$40.00 -- what do you recommend?

CLERK:

Woolworth's.

JEAN:

Can't you just show me some simple
gold rings.

CLERK:

I suppose so...

Here rummage through these...

Ah, good afternoon, Mr. Farnsworth?

MR. FARNSWORTH:

Good afternoon Simpson...will you show
Miss Latour, that necklace I called you
about...

-9-

HE GETS IT...AND PLACES
IT BEFORE GIRL
THE BLONDE TAKES IT..
HOLDS IT UP...

THE GIRL MOVES AWAY
TO ONE SIDE..TO LOOK
AT IT..

THE GIRL COMES BACK

HE LITERALLY YANKS HER
OUT OF THE STORE..

LOOKING AFTER THEM..

THE CLERK TURNS
A FROZEN STARE ON JEAN

CLERK:

Of course Mr. Farnsworth...

BLONDE: (SOUTHERN)

Oh, Daddy, it's beautiful, Daddy.

JEAN:

(TO DADDY) You've got a very pretty
daughter there.

MR. FARNSWORTH:

(SHARPLY) Ha!

BLONDE:

Oh, Daddy, how can I ever thank you?

MR. FARNSWORTH:

(CLEARS HIS THROAT) Simpson, charge that
to my account...

BLONDE:

Oh, Daddy, look at the pretty bracelets...

MR. FARNSWORTH:

Come along my dear.

JEAN:

And I thought she was his..it's ridiculous
...she's too young to be his daughter!....
(SHE TURNS BACK TO THE TRAY..MIMICKS
BLONDE) Daddy, how much is this ring?
(STRAIGHT) No...huh?

-10-

**CLERK:**

Madam.. the Federal Tax alone on that
ring is more than $40.00.

**JEAN:**

Well, what can you give me for $40.00?

**CLERK:**

Directions to another store...

**JEAN:**

A note for me...(READS IT) "This is
a holdup. Be quiet and you won't get
hurt. Put all the jewels in this
(LOOKS HARD) What's this word here..?

**CROOK:**

Leather...

**JEAN:**

You should be ashamed of yourself
"Leather" -- L-E-T-H-R....

**CROOK:**

Lady, put the jewels in the satchel.

HE STARTS PUTTING THE
TRAYS BACK IN THEIR
PLACES....THE HOLDUP
MAN COMES IN...WARILY
LOOK OUT OF THE DOOR..
HOLDS ONE HAND IN
POCKET AS THO GUN..
HE HANDS JEAN A NOTE...
SHE LOOKS AT IT....

-11-

COMES BUSTLING BACK

HE POINTS TO EACH OBJECT
WITH HIS GUN..THE
CLERK IS TERRIFIED AND
STARTS TO COMPLY...

JEAN AUTOMATICALLY PUTS
HER HANDS UP..SHE IS STILL
HOLDING HER PURSE.

SHE LETS HER PURSE DROP
AND SHE IS CLOSE ENOUGH
TO THE CROOK FOR THE BAG
TO KNOCK THE GUN OUT OF
HIS HAND WHEN IT FALLS

BENDS DOWN..PICKS UP
THE GUN AND HANDS IT
BACK TO HIM..THEN SHE
PUTS HER HANDS BACK UP
AGAIN..MEANWHILE THE
CLERK IS SHOVELLING
JEWELRY INTO THE BAG...

POINTING TO JEWELS..

JEAN POINTS TO A TRAY..

**JEAN:**

But I can't do that...I don't work here.

**CLERK:**

Can I help you sir?

**CROOK:**

You coitonly can..put those jewels in
this bag.

As for you..(TO JEAN)

Drop the bag lady....

**JEAN:**

I'm sorry....

**CROOK:**

I'll have some of dese and some of dose...

**JEAN:**

Take some of these too...they're kind of
nice...say, are you going to be able
to carry all that?

**CROOK:**

Yeah, lady, yeah.

-12-

**JEAN:**

Well, they deliver you know.

**CROOK:**

Look lady, will you keep quiet...
come on you..(TO CLERK) step it up...

**JEAN:**

Well, it's bad enough you go around with
a gun holding up people, but you don't
have to be insulting too.

**CROOK:** (MOCK POLITE)

I'm sorry..please shut up.

**JEAN:**

That's better. (POINTS TO JEWELRY..
VERY GENIAL) Take some of those..
they're very nice.

**CROOK:**

Lady, don't butt in...I been in this
business 20 years..Alright, nobody move.
It's the cop on the beat..you (TO CLERK)
lie down on the floor behind the counter..
one peep out of you and you're a dead
clerk...

(MORE)

GOES TO WINDOW...LOOKS OUT AND QUICKLY..COMES BACK...

MAN DOES SO...

-13-

HE PUTS SATECHEL BEHIND
THE COUNTER....

JEAN GETS BEHIND THE
COUNTER AS TOLD..THE
COP COMES IN..TWIRLING
HIS STICK...

PICKS UP THE BAG FROM
BEHIND COUNTER

CROOK: (CONT)

And you lady..get behind the counter
and act like a clerk..and I'm a
customer..and watch yourself...I got you
covered every minute...

CROOK:

I'd like to see some fancy jewelry
which I'd like to buy for my missus

JEAN: (SNOOTY)

Do you have an account here?

CROOK: (SQUIRMING)

No..I'll just pay cash..

JEAN:

Here's something nice...

COP:

Miss...when did you start here?

JEAN:

Oh, just a few moments ago.

COP:

Where's Mr. Simpson?

JEAN:

He's lying down for a while.

CROOK:

How much is this lady?

-14-

SHE DIRECTS THE KEY WORD AT THE COP IN DESPERATION. HE DOESN'T PAY ATTENTION....

SAME AS FIRST TIME. ONLY A LITTLE MORE DESPERATE

LOOKS DOWN ON THE FLOOR BEHIND THE COUNTER...

STARTS WALKING OUT. STOPS DOES A TAKE. THEN SHRUGS AND WALKS OUT...

COP COMES BACK IN

GUY THROWS HIS HANDS UP

JEAN:

$2,000 and it's a <u>STEAL</u> at that price.

CROOK:

Show me something else..not so expensive.

JEAN:

Well, here's something for $1,000 .. and at that price it's sheer <u>ROBBERY</u>!

COP:

Well, gotta get back on my beat...
tell Simpson I said hello...

JEAN:

Simpson..the cop says hello...

COP:

Thanks Miss...

JEAN:

Oh no...

CROOK:

Okay, hurry let me have that...

COP:

Aha! Caught you just in time. Is that your car out front?

-15-

**CROOK:**

Yeah.

**COP:**

Don't you know it's against the law to
double-park..

**JEAN:**

Officer.

**COP:**

What is it?

**JEAN:**

I don't want to be a snitcher.. but he was
trying to hold up the store.

THE CLERK GETS UP...

**CLERK:**

That's right officer.. he's got a gun..

he's got a gun..

COP PULLS HIS GUN OUT...
THEN TAKES THE GUN OUT OF
CROOKS POCKET..TAKES
CROOK BY THE SHOULDER

**COP:**

Lucky thing for you shopkeepers this city
has an alert police force.

MARCHES CROOK OUT...

**CLERK:**

That was rather close, and I can't thank
you enough.

**JEAN:**

It was nothing.

PICKS UP A RING

**CLERK:**

Madam.. we sell this particular ring for
$250.00, but under the circumstances I
think I can let you have it for what it
cost us..$35.00.

BLACKS OUT..LIGHTS UP
ON HERBIE AT HOME..

**JEAN:**

Thank you.. Oh, Herbie will love this...

-16-

HERBIE IS BUSY WORKING ON
PAPERS...JEAN COMES IN...

JEAN:

Herbie, what are you doing home at this
time?

ALAN:

I got to meet a client and I came home to
finish this report and have it ready for him

HE CONTINUES TO SCRIBBLE

JEAN:

Herbie, you wouldn't believe what happened
to me today...

ALAN:

Yeah...

NOT PAYING ATTENTION -
BUSY WITH HIS FIGURES

JEAN:

I was in this store buying something when
this robber came in...pointed a gun at me
and the clerk..and said make one false move
and you're dead...then he started to rob
the store...then a cop came in...and the
crook made me pretend to be a clerk and...
Herbie, are you listening to me.

ALAN:

Sure, dear, sure -- you went shopping.

STILL BUSY WITH THE
FIGURES.

JEAN:

Oh, never mind...Herbie...you know what
day today is..???

COMES AROUND BEHIND HIM
PLAYS WITH BACK OF HIS
NECK

-17-

**ALAN:**

Yeah...Wednesday...

**JEAN:**

I mean the date...

JEAN BEHIND HIS BACK
HOLDS OPEN THE BOX WITH
HIS RING IN IT...AND
GLANCES AT IT..

**ALAN:**

January 13th...

**JEAN:**

Doesn't the 13th mean anything to you?

**ALAN:**

No...I'm not superstitious...

**JEAN:**

Herbie...I'll give you one more hint...what
event took place eleven years ago to the
day...and it changed your whole life.

LOOKS UP FROM HIS WORK

**ALAN:**

Oh...why remind me of that...

**JEAN:**

Remind you of what?

**ALAN:**

The day I got drafted!

SHE SNAPS THE BOX SHUT

**JEAN:**

Oh, what's the use...Herbie, do you still
love me?

-18-

**ALAN:**

Sure.

**JEAN:**

As much as when we first got married?

**ALAN:**

Uhuh.

**JEAN:**

Why don't you ever say it?

**ALAN:**

Say what?

**JEAN:** (EXASPERATED)

I love you.

**ALAN:**

Well, why shouldn't you-- I'm a good
husband...By the way Jean, I'll be working
late again tonight.

**JEAN:**

Not again--that's the third time this week.

**ALAN:**

Jean, I don't like this working late at
night and neither does my secretary.

**JEAN:**

Your secretary? Herbie, when you worked
on Monday night till 11 o'clock was she
there all the time?

-19-

**ALAN:**

Oh, no (PAUSE) she went home at 10:30.

**JEAN:**

What does your secretary look like Herbie?

**ALAN:**

How do I know...she's just another girl...
I don't remember..

**JEAN:**

Is she attractive?

**ALAN:**

If you like that type.

**JEAN:**

What type?

**ALAN:**

Young beautiful blondes.

**JEAN:**

Herbie, tell me something.. Do you ever
look at other women?

**ALAN:**

What?

**JEAN:**

It's alright, Herbie, I realize that we're
married and that you love me -- but after
all I'm not the only woman in the world--
and it's quite possible that you could pass
a strange girl on the street and find her
attractive...and there's absolutely nothing
wrong with it--do you?

-20-

**ALAN:**

Do I what?

**JEAN:**

Sometimes look at other women?

**ALAN:**

Sure...every now and then.

**JEAN:** (CRIES)

You brute--after I gave you the best years
of my life.

**ALAN:**

Well that finishes that report...Jean...

I'll be home as early as I can...

**JEAN:** (STARTS SNIFFLING)

What time?

**ALAN:**

I don't know--eight or eight-thirty. I
have to see my lawyer about something too.

**JEAN:**

I wanted you home early especially tonight...
(SNIFFLES)...

**ALAN:**

Jean, you better watch yourself--I think
you're coming down with a cold.

HE FINISHES HIS WORK...
STUFFS IT INTO HIS
BRIEFCASE. HE STANDS UP

-21-

SHE GOES-OPENS THE
DOOR FOR HIM....

**JEAN:**

I'll be alright... Goodbye, dear...

(PUCKERS UP)

WALKS OUT FORGETS
TO KISS HER...THE
DOORSLAM MAKES HER
OPEN HER EYES....

**ALAN:**

Goodbye...

**JEAN:** (TO CAMERA)

This has been a big day for me... He forgot our anniversary... forgot to kiss me goodbye... probably forget to come home... he's working late tonight with his secretary... I'll bet he's working... I can just see him now...

CUT FROM JEAN TO SECTION
WHERE ALAN IS SITTING IN
A SWIVEL CHAIR...AT DESK
AN OVERHEAD SPOT CATCHES
HIM

(MUSIC EFFECT: . . MYSTERIOSO BOING)

SPEAKS INTO INTERCOM
ON HIS DESK

HE STRAIGHTENS HIS TIE..
AND HAIR
A MOMENT LATER...
AS BLONDE FROM JEWELRY
STORE SCENE BOUNCES INTO
THE SET...

**ALAN:**

I think I'll dictate another letter (TAKES
OUT HANKY AND WIPES OFF HIS LIPS) That
last one was pretty good.

Miss Clark... will you come in and bring
your notebook...

(MUSIC: . . REAL BOUNCEY VERSION "ST. LOUIS WOMAN)"

**BLONDE:**

Did you call me Daddy?

HE PATS HIS KNEE AND SHE
SITS DOWN ON HIS KNEE

**ALAN:**

Yes, Sugarplum. Honey, how old are you?

-22-

SHE GOES INTO BIG
KISSING CLINCH..SCENE
BLACKS OUT AND WE CUT
BACK TO JEAN

CUT AWAY FROM JEAN TO
SAME SET...ONLY NOW A
LAWYER IS AT THE DESK

**BLONDE:**

I'm 20 years old---12 years younger than
your wife.

**ALAN:**

I told my wife that I was working late
tonight because I had to attend to some
unfinished business.

**BLONDE:**

How true...

**JEAN:**

Oh, I've got to stop letting my imagination
run away with me. It doesn't make sense...
is a devoted husband who's been married to
me for eleven years suddenly going to take
up with a dumb beautiful blonde (THINKS A
SECOND) Yes! Oh, what am I thinking. He
just had some work to do at the office then
he had to see his lawyer---his lawyer!

(SAME MUSIC EFFECT)

**LAWYER:**

Herbie, what's on your mind?

**ALAN:**

Well, as my lawyer I wanted you to be the
first to know--I'm in love.

-23-

**LAWYER:** (INCREDULOUS)

With Jean?

**ALAN:**

No, with my secretary...that's why I came
to see you...I want to discuss the property
settlement.

**LAWYER:**

I see...

**ALAN:**

I want to be fair...we'll split everything
down the middle--I'll take the car and the
apartment--and she can have custody of the
dishes and vacuum cleaner.

**LAWYER:**

Herbie, this is a serious step. Before I
can advise you I have to ask myself can a
devoted husband after eleven years of marriage
suddenly take up with another woman...

Yes!

(DOORBELL RINGS TWICE)

HE LOOKS AWAY FROM HERBIE
DURING THIS TALK...

AT THIS POINT..
BLONDE TAKES HERBIE'S ARM
LAWYER SEES HER AND DOES
THE TAKE GAG AS HE GAPES
AT BLONDE... SCENE
BLACKOUT...CUT BACK TO
JEAN WHO IS STANDING IN
A TRANCE...

JEAN ROUSES HERSELF...
GOES TO DOOR AND ADMITS
HER MOTHER

**MOTHER:**

Hello, Jean.

**JEAN:** (DEJECTED)

Hello, Mother.

-24-

**MOTHER:**

What's the matter, Jean?

**JEAN:**

I feel kind of low today.

**MOTHER:**

Why?

**JEAN:**

Well, it's Herbie.

**MOTHER:**

I told you so...I told you so...I told
you so...What did he do?

**JEAN:**

Well, first thing this morning he..

**MOTHER:**

That inconsiderate brute!

**JEAN:**

Wait until I tell you what he did.

**MOTHER:**

You don't have to. I know him. He beat you.

**JEAN:**

No.

**MOTHER:**

He threw something at you.

-25-

JEAN:

No.

MOTHER:

He got drunk and lost his job.

JEAN:

No, Mother. He forgot our anniversary.

MOTHER: (GASP)

Worse than I thought! Jean, if you'd only
taken my advice and

BOTH TOGETHER:

...Married that wealthy Sanderson boy.

MOTHER:

I'll bet he made some girl a fine husband.

JEAN:

He made four girls a fine husband. Any
other questions?

MOTHER:

Yes, right now is he married or single?

JEAN:

Oh, Mother. I married Herbie because I
loved him and I still love him...but I'm
afraid he's losing interest in me.

-26-

**MOTHER:**

Nonsense. You're still young and attractive.
It's just that husbands are out all day and
see career women at their best...and when
they come home their wives look drab by
comparison.

**JEAN:**

Well, what can I do about it?

**MOTHER:**

Some night when he comes home...be wearing
something besides an apron...be exciting
and glamourous.

**JEAN:**

You know you may be right. We'll do it
tonight.

**MOTHER:**

Come on, I'll help you.

THE SCENE DISSOLVES AND
COMES UP AGAIN ON THE
LIVING ROOM. THE MOTHER
IS SITTING THERE IN EASY
CHAIR...AS THE DOOR OPENS
AND ALAN COMES IN...

HE MISTAKES MOTHER FOR
JEANNIE AND GOES OVER TO
THE CHAIR TO KISS HER
AND RECOILS...FRIGHTENED

**ALAN:**

Jeannie, I'm home. How are you, honey?

(AFTER TAKE) Heh heh, what are you
doing here?

**MOTHER:**

What does it look like I'm doing.

-27-

**ALAN:**
Just sitting.

**MOTHER:**
So don't ask stupid questions.

**ALAN:**
Well, it's been nice talking to you, Mother.

**MOTHER:**
Take your coat off and sit down.

**ALAN:**
May I?

HE TAKES HIS COAT OFF...
HE SITS DOWN AND THEY
SIT GLARING AT EACH OTHER
FOR A WHILE...

**ALAN:**
Where's Jean?

**MOTHER:**
She's here.
This is a fine time to be coming home...
ten o'clock. Where have you been?

**ALAN:** (SARCASTIC)
Well, Mrs. District Attorney,...first I
made the rounds of the night clubs...had 15
or 20 drinks...then I went joy riding in my
Stutz Bearcat.
Where do you think I've been? I've been
working at the office.

-28-

**MOTHER:**

I heard about that.

Was your secretary with you?

**ALAN:**

I know you won't believe this but at five
o'clock she went home sick.

**MOTHER:**

LOOKING HIM UP AND DOWN.. What's so hard to believe?

**JEAN:** (OFF STAGE)

Okay, Mother.

**MOTHER:**

SHE GOES TO COUCH FOR
HER COAT...

Well, I've got to be going.

**ALAN:**

I'll get your coat for you.

**MOTHER:**

Don't be so anxious.

**ALAN:**

HE GOES TO THE DOOR AND
OPENS IT.

Mother, how can you say I'm anxious?

**MOTHER:**

CALLING IN TO BEDROOM...

Good night, Jean...and good luck.

**JEAN:** (OFF STAGE)

THE MOTHER EXITS AND ALAN Good night, Mother, and thanks.

CLOSES THE DOOR COMES DOWN

INTO THE CENTER OF THE ROOM

-29-

SHE GETS UP AND STARTS
SPRAYING THE ROOM WITH
INCENSE FROM AN ATOMIZER
AS ALAN COMES OUT OF THE
KITCHEN MUNCHING HALF A
SANDWICH...

**ALAN:**

Jean, what are you doing? There are no mosquitos in January.

**JEAN:**

This is perfume, darling.

**ALAN:**

What's the matter...are we out of Air Wick?

HE GOES OVER AND SITS
ON ONE END OF THE COUCH
PICKS UP HIS NEWSPAPER
TAKES A CIGARETTE OUT.

**JEAN:**

Herbert, do you find me at all exciting and glamourous?

**ALAN:**

Sure, Jean, you're a good kid.

Say, have you got a match?

**JEAN:**

Of course...lover.

SHE TAKES A MATCH AND
RECLINES ON THE COUCH SO
THAT HER HEAD IS IN HIS
LAP AND LIGHTS HIS
CIGARETTE FROM THAT
POSITION. AFTER IT'S
LIT HE UNFOLDS THE PAPER
SO THAT HER HEAD IS
COVERED. SHE PUSHES IT
ASIDE SO THAT WE GET A
PICTURE OF HER ON ONE
ELBOW LOOKING AT THE AUDIENCE
WITH A LOOK OF COMPLETE
DEFEAT.

**ALAN:**

Thanks.

-31-

AFTER THE LAUGH SHE
CRUMPLES THE WHOLE PAPER
WITH A SUDDEN MOVEMENT
AND BALLS IT UP AND
THROWS IT ON THE FLOOR.

**ALAN:**

Jean, what's the matter?

**JEAN:** (NORMAL VOICE)

Herbie Carroll you are the end...the very end. I knock myself out putting on a fancy dress so I won't look drab when you come home and you don't even notice it.

**ALAN:**

Jean, I noticed the dress but I didn't want to say anything.

**JEAN:**

Why not?

**ALAN:**

Well, it's too long on you.

**JEAN:**

I give up. I absolutely give up. This morning you couldn't even remember what day this was after all the hints I gave you. You didn't remember that this was a day that I cherish more than any other occasion.

**ALAN:**

Jeannie, I was only teasing you. I remembered.

-32-

JEAN:

(SOFTENING) You did?

ALAN:

And I even bought you a very nice gift...
in honor of the occasion.

JEAN:

Really, Herbie, really?

ALAN:

Here it is, honey.

HE TAKES A FLAT PACKAGE
OUT OF HIS INSIDE JACKET
POCKET...

JEAN:

Oh, I'm so glad you remembered.

ALAN:

How could I forget. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

JEAN:

(DRAGNET THEME) Dum de dum dum.

THEY EMBRACE WITH JEAN
LOOKING OVER HIS
SHOULDER AT THE
AUDIENCE....

Ah, what's the difference...

SHE HUGS HIM
AFFECTIONATELY...

BLACKOUT

JEAN:

Goodnight all.... etc....

lj/bb
1/6/54
6 pm

-33-