HOTEL DES INDES

BATAVIA Centrum
JAVA - NED. OOST-INDIË

the 4th

Batavia Centrum, 193...

Codes:

MERGUUR 3e ED.
A. B. C. 5e en 6e ED.
BENTLEY
TOURISTENVERKEER

Telegram-Adres:

„INDES” WELTEVREDEN

Telefoon Wl. 1468 tot 1474

Darling Bobby, back again in Batavia, but without any of our old
friends, I did try to phone Shorty Elliot, and find that he's on his way
back now from leave...

I wonder where you are. I have such miserable news darling-
I seem to be damned and doomed, and I rage and stomm and despair,
and come again to you for help-- I don't know what I'd do without you- and
I feel so wretched asking you to help me when you're recovering yourself,
and when, in fact, I don't know how you are. But this time it is such a
disgustig business--- I hate to start telling you- but the truth is
the moment I get to Europe I have to go to hospital again- and, if you can
help me, I am determined to keep it from Chester. For I will NOT spoil
another holiday for him-- really, isn't it too comic that these things
happen the moment we get off for his rest and pleasure?

"Well, this is the story: A lump has appeared in that
troublesome left breast of mine-- I discovered it just as we left Bali-
and what a night I passed! For years you remember it's bothered me and
once I almost was operated by that man in London, only another doctor said
it was madness, as nothing was there but a swollen gland, and the discharge
from the nipple was so common and rarely significant. In Bali a little
blood began to come- and I imagined the breast had swollen a bit,
but attributed it to change of climates to which all my female apparatus
is sensitive. Then our first night in Java we were in Solo (dining with a
gynecologist of all things) and on the way home I felt desperately tired
(as indeed I had so often in Bali to Rose's disgust) and the breast
throbbed a little, and when I got home I thought I'd look, and just under
the nipple I found this lump, hard as a rock and about as round as a quarter
or a little less, it is hard to judge, I hated to press hard for fear of
irritating, anyway, the moment I discovered it I felt nauseated, and
thought, well, here and now is the end-- and somehow felt not
surprise so much as bitterness-- I felt again a few times to be sure I
wasn't imagining-- and then fell onto the bed and slept like a drunken
slut-- dreaming one wild dream after another-- all about operations and
cancer of course-- and when we got on the train to come here in the morning
I really could scarcely walk and on the train my head fell from side to side
and I felt from one trance into another-- and C said, I've never seen you
so 'all in' before, I can't believe you are dozing in the day time, wonders
will never cease--- Then Isaid to myself, well it is one thing or the
other, if it isn't cancer, it is an operation anyway-- and I've got to think
out a way not to spoil C's vacation-- and that is why I'm telling you
all this, hoping you can help me. MY idea is that you were me before we land
asking if I would mind very much coming to see you alone, as you want very much
to have me alone for a week or so-- would I, -I hate making you sound
selfish, or willful which of course is the last thing you'd be, and I
wonder how to do it, so that C won't think it odd that you want us to
separate, on the beginning of our holiday-- but as you are ill, I think he
will find anything you say or do, most reasonable. And he can go on to London
and do his business, and I'll come straight to Suisse, and get the first
operation over, you see, I went, just now, to the specialist here, and he
says no one can tell, the lump must be removed as quickly as possibly and
they will examine it then and there, IF it is malignant, they will have to

to their highest powers; perhaps I'd even become a writer at last if
all the human vanities were finally obstructed.

It may be that the boys could help with C, keep him in Paris, or take
him on a trip that I could pretend I didn't want to take, if only a good 'hiker'
appeared, for he does so love to take long walking trips. I'd like to do
any one of all the different drastic things one can think of to keep C
from knowing or being worried, isn't it too absurd that each time we've gone on
a trip something has happened to me. hat a liability I've been to him, the
darling-- he's almost the only person I know in all the world I hate
telling this to-- it's simply too beastly for him, and you can imagine
HOW he's looked forward to this holiday. I simply Wont let him be worried
and you must help me Bobby to work out some kind of a scheme. Once the
operation is over, if it turns out to be something bad-- I can always
do something about arranging my life, I'd try not to go back with him
if it happens to be a matter of a year or two, for there is nothing so
horrifying as the spectre of a person dying of cancer, I've been around
them, and felt the horror of them myself. Anyway, that's not certain
nor proved and may never happen, though I'll not deceive myself that it
may not be what will happen to me. It seems such a funny end,
though, if true it is, to ahm my melo dramas, my 'sufferings'
and strivings for something to 'live for;" I've even thought that
if I find out that the worst is true, I shall quickly write The Book,
and I shall call it my life and death, for it will be the only thing
left, the interest in oneself knowing one's days can be counted; I
cant honestly say I don't mind, I do, and I probably shall mind more
when I am around people I know, there is something so impersonal being in a
strange country among unfamiliar faces, that one feels suspended from
ones own heart really-- but I know that actually, I shant mind very much.
In fact, this last year I've wondered so often what xxx a spectacle I'd
be in ten years from now-- and the answer was always so grim.

Chester has had a marvelous time, he's taken wonderful films in Bali
which I hope you'll see, you surely will-- and he's been sweet and
excited and so adorable to me. I wish he demanded more of me, for
I could give him so much more if he'd want it, and I don't know how,
as it is, but I try to please him in the ways he wants to be pleased.
I hope so he'll like Rosemary this summer. She adores him so much.

I am sending this air mail. I'll put in the stops we make. If
I feel altogether well, and there is no way to manage, I'll go on to London
with C, and then come to you (or go to Vienna if I can which I really feel I
should do) from there.

Bobby darling, don't be distressed about ME, for truly, I
don't mind much at all. But do feel distressed for Chester and try to
help me think how I can work it out and save him the misery he went through
the other time-- for I should love to save him even the smallest
worry or nuisance. I even have enough money for it so he neednt have to
be asked, thank god.

I shall reproach myself terribly if you are not quite well
and upset by this. But according to your letters you ought to be almost
entirely well by the time this reaches you. My fondest love to you
dear dear Bobby- it is almost a sin, the way I trust and depend on you.

HOTEL DE PARIS
MONTE-CARLO

Darling Bo bby we motored as far as this, Chester hasnever seen the french Riviera and it seemed so silly to dash right through-- and as there are only two trains a week anyway, we motored this far to catch Saturday's-- as the other one left on the same day we got to Marseilles;;; I am too nervous now to stop off again,, so we'll go straight to Wieh, and if, god willing there is very little to do to me, we can perhaps be in Davos in ten days-- I am terribly disappointed for I did want to see you my dearest-- straight off-- but I do feel it is foolish to wait any longer for sometimes with such things, every day counts, and as I've been as nervous as a setting hen ever since the first of April, I'd better know what is wrong and get the suspense at least over and done with. And I'd be in a bad state to see you, so all round it's much better that we go, get it over and then go a visiting..... I'm glad to know Monie has been there, we found a letter from him written on board ship, so goodness knows where he is by this time.... But I do hope by July you'll be able to go where you like, anyway wherever you are, and whenever you want us, we'll plan to be there,, but we'll talk about all that when we see you.

"I went to ballet at the Casino and there we ran into the Ottoboni-- she wanted to know all about ir V and had he gone on to meet Peggy Reed- which of course I don't know but am sure of just the same. The Ottoboni can't stick her, calls her the bitch tart which is a pretty good combination of words. She had us to tiffin, and took us through her colossal cardboard box palace castle villa whatever you call it-- I'm absolutely cold to such splendor really-- and thank god-- and kept thinking of the poor indian and chinese coolies who slaved to make that fortune,, Oh yes, they tell you, look how many people they gave- and gave employment to, yes, I'm looking...........; But she's a dear thing in a way and so somehow uniftted to be the great lady of a mountain side. Have you seen 'in the papers' about Frances Gunther getting arrested in Vienna, it does me me pleasure( not the way you think) because it informed me that she is there, and I shall have her keep an eye on Chester- I got her her first newspaper job many years ago, and she seemed unable to forget it, it never mattered until just now when I hope she'll STILL have remembered. She's very clever, and her husband is a dear.

All this trip is like a dream, what a curious place this coast is to be sure, we stopped for lunch chez Madame Josse, who apparently knows much more about G and M and other old friends than I do. She knew I was in China and RM at dramatic school and what not.

we are just about to pile in the car and go to the train. Mille kisses dearest Bobby-- get well enough to climb an alp with C-or, are you, like me, at the place where you never want to see another alp as long as you live, monon a postcard?

Love and love dear,

ENTRANCE
SUE PERE HUC
73243

THE CLOISTERS
62 ROUTE DE BOISSEZON

the Baloeran, Rotterdamse huyd

arling

I wonder if you will already have got my letter air mailed
from Batavia. In case you havent, I had better repeat briefly what was in it
and tell you the rest of the evil news. I reproach myself again and ag
again for telling you, and only pray that you are quite well and wont be
disturbed. There is nothing to be disturbed about after all, things happen
and one has to do what one can; and perhaps one can do a lot and perhaps
a little, In case the other letter hasnt come, I have a hardish lump
in my breast, at the bottom, and the doctor i Batavia says it must come
out as soon as possible, be analysed, and if bad, a further operation
must be made instantly. I have written a Dr Schmeidt Gloriettgasse 11, Wien,
asking him to cable me to Marseilles, or just a day out, the name of the best
man in "ien, or elsewhere if there is a better- he is a friend of Dr Reiss
of "hanghai, and we have a letter to him so I am asking him as I dont know
how else to find out. Sir Victor says I must tell C- but agrees that
there is no need to tell him until just out of Marseilles, so we will have
one happy voyage anyway andhe wont be worried about me and alarmed. I shant
tell him itis seri us, I ll say the dr in Batavia found this and said it must
come out as a matter of course, and soon, but that was all. IF by any
dread chance, it turns out to be bad, the operation will beover before
anything can be said anyway, and once a thing is over one accepts it;
and doesnt waste one s nerves in fear and alarm, one only hopes then
and gives attention and comfort. And as he may have to have a
small operation in his nose, to enlarge the passage, he may have it done
then also, and that will take his mind off me. I cant even bear to thi
think how I hate it all, this happening with him, on our holiday, it
is too wicked, I often wonder if any other man would be so sweet
about things, and wouodnt repraoch me, as if I did it on purpose, and think
what a bother and expense I am-- and wonder why he didnt marry someone
else, "hat I do dread so is that it should be serous
and I d live for a few years, neither this nor that-- and he s be so revolted
and it would show so clearly in his little boy's expression, whib he d try
so hard to be natural, I understand so well, people in such a
state are so dreadful-- well, no need to think of what to do about
that now, I can do nothing yet, and perhaps it wont be necessary--
I am not telling myself pretty stories to comfort myself, I dont want
to be too shocked in case its the worst(-- if it isnt, it will be
so easy anyway and so soneoling.

"We get to Singapore at 8 tonight and Sir V C and I are
going in to the Raffles, how I shall think of you and Jimmy and Paddy
and Hugh and dear Walter, and all of it-- you cant think how I
laugh, at places we ve bee together-- X marks so many spots--
theyxx still talk of us-- and how we ve changed-- especially you; ;;
I ll try to phone Jimmy, and Ginger, Jimmy is every poor Paddy said.
"Sir V is being so sweet to mek he makes me laugh at myself and not get
too dramatic, I dont know why I m not more upset than I am, I think
it was such a terrific shock, the discovering it, that I m still in a
kind of protective fog.

So the chances are I shall go right from Marseilles where we a
arrive Apr 24, and go to Wien. And I shant want to see anybody until the
wretched affair is over and I know. There are people there who will look
after me a bit, and Chester too, and I ll keep in touch with you/ Sir V
was going to write you, but not being sure where you are he says will
you write him a note, E D Sassoon Banking Co Stone House, Bishop St Londo

near you as possible? I think C can stay at least a week
now he says,, I do hope so. In fact, I don't think, to tell
you the quite honest truth, I don't think I should be able to face
going on sooner,, I keep myself stretched together outwardly
somehow, but I feel terribly shattered and pounded to pieces
somewhere in my spine... I'll have to retrieve some
show of gallantry before I go on with the old life....
Darlingest I shant be bad when I get there and make
you sad, truly. There isn't anther person I can say anything to,
you do and will forgive me owont you for being so unashamed
with you?

Then, until Saturday, god willing dearest

your B

WIEN,

HOTEL DE CASTIGLIONE

40. Faubourg Saint-Honoré

PARIS

Cafe, Castiglione, Paris

Sunday

Dearest Bobby-

I'm glad it's Sunday and a grey day for me. DEAD. I meant to not 'overdo' as you cautioned me, but there seemed a hundred things all at once, and not having been tied with a rope, I went on and on; Today I am about kaput.

First of all, would you like Lizica to come and see you for a week or so? She says she'd love to, providing two things, that you'd like to have her, and that her husband will let her go. But in any event, IF you'd like her to come, drop her a note. (I told her there are small hotels nearby which are very reasonable, which she prefers)-- and that it is easy to get to Davos. But I'm not telling her I am writing you, I told her to write you herself-- but she may be shy about doing it, so IF you'd like her write her, and if you don't, she won't know I've written you anyway. She's miserable with that wretch, he is the most bad tempered creature, amusing and brilliant, but what a disposition!

I went to Dilkousha, to look at clothes, you remember my story of the two lesbians, she and Katousha, and as we walked in Lizica and I, there stood Katoucha! She couldn't believe it was me, after all these years, and read me a letter she had JUST got from Pavlek saying I am sure Bernardine is in Paris, I had a dream last night etc; In the course of things I said I'd been in Suisse with you- and Dilkousha 'Monie s miss Wrench- said Oh, is she Margarets step daughter? I said yes, well she said, my brother is one of the horse in love with Margaret in London. Then she said how handsome M was and what a good time she was having,

["and that trances had put detectives in Margaets house so he could\nget evidence to divorce her. I thought to say he could have\nlooked around in his own house and saved himself the expense, but\nof course Iheld my tongue, with a winning smile..", "C woul nt go to the Kreisler which broke my heart though\nI didn't say so, he say a whole evening of it was too much, so we\nwent to the Casino de Paris which I always loathe, with Sorel\nasthe big moment, and I loathed and hated it all except the Hoffman\ngirls, and even C got bored and we left quite early. The next\nnight we went to the Croissiere Jaune which was DIVINR and in it\nyou see princess Nirjidma of whom I told you- if you saw the film, sh\nis the mongol princess who sings and talks french to M Point, whose\nlove she became later... the con Schuberts took us to the tennis\nyesterday my first time and I foujd it terribly exciting, then we\nwent to the ballet last night, Carnaval, "eau Danube and Oiseau de feu\na funny audience mostlu russian, running through the scores all\nd'orchestra, whowas TOO wonderful, running through the scores all\nthe time, banging on the book and shouting tumpty tum, bang bang,\njust to impress us( he succeeded). Behind us sat an amerian young wo\nwoman with two friends just arrived and she told them all about every\nthing all evening, how she was the best pal of the whole ballet and\ncalled everyone tom dick a,d ethelwynne, and when we went back, there\nshe was so we asked M Doratxxx who she was, Oh she hangs around\nall the time like a lot of other pests he said, but she knows you\nwe said, she was just telling her friends all about you, from\nage up and down-. he said something that meant Oh yeah, and\nwe all laughed. ;; I havent given C the lett r yet, and I have such\nsad forebodings, I dont know what to do about it. ... Goodbye dear\ndarling; I ve no more paper. Much much much love dear B"]

Dearest Bobby you didn't say if you'd like one of us to help you
pack and get off on your journey. Shallyou have someone, -R M
will come like a shot, though of course I don't know just how
helpful she will be,, and I also would love to come, the trip
to Spain seems nebulous at the moment anyway and will result I
think in settling at St Jean or San Sebastian and making short
trips... So do wire me, won't you, if you'd be able to use R M
say, and she'll come along the minute we get to Paris? I
haven't time for a longer letter-- and if I had I'd try not to
write one for I can't think of much except that nothing could
go worse than everything is going, and I'm at my wits and what
is worse, nerves end; all the things that were wrong before
are stronger, and the new things are as bad-- with which cheer
ful observation, I send my love, to B Barker also, and fondest
thoughts and all the warnings to be careful dearest and all that.

Yours

SHANGHAI

bearing gifts food, etc entertainers, generals on wonderful
purple horses, etc etc, all toward the middle where the so called
emperor and his wife sit, it being his sixtieth birthday, the great
day in the life of a chinese, it complex what they call the big cycle/
its very fine embroidery, m and the faces are all painted, and raised.
it costs 150 mex, that's now about fifty gold, which is nothing for this
piece; But its too long for us, I thought of your studio. He always has
enchanting little coats etc also. I got two beautiful vests the other day,
pale greenish grey velvet, chinese fashion but hand painted in Japan,
the conventional japanese geese flying across the moon abo ve the
willows etc;; They are really magnificently done and no one
seems ever to have seen any others and I got the two for five mex each .
I ve got some lovely brocardes etc also;;;

I must stop. The Sokolskys leave June 1 for America;
hater to Europe. If Mts Patterson looks her up and you can,
do give her a ride at Rombou... she s passionate about it and she s the
kind of queen of the hunting women out here, very amusing, and rather
gay in the best shanghai manner.. Too gay for me, but I never was born to
be in' smart'society. If I d been born to missionaries andnever
known any other life how happy Id have been, wouldnt ?...

The letters from Dick and Buzzy may amuse you: Oh, Ill enclose Mauds also
which you m ight turn on to Ivy, the pa mts about Peking ought to
make you smile/
my best love from
Bernard

SHANGHAI

May 10

Barbara dearest, (or Glenway)

This note will be presented to you by M. Paul le Bris, one of
Shanghai's most distinguished citizens- who has most kindly agreed to
bring Rosemary back with him; He leaves here in a few days, and will re-
main in Paris for three or four days only, and, at the moment, expects
to leave Paris about June 4, to return to Shanghai; You will have got my cable
about seeing M. Bressy, chez Compagnie Pahlay, 99 Champs Elysees- who would
know the exact dates etc... I suggest that Rosemary bring only the most
necessary things, travel as lightly as possible, and that her other
possessions remain in storage in Paris, until it is finally decided whether
she returns to Europe this autumn, or goes to America. Outside of
something to read, and perhaps some sweets etc, I think there is nothing
especially that she will need. Do be sure her passport is in proper order
wont you? They are such wretches, the officials everywhere. M. Le Bris
who has four children of his own, will not, I am sure, find her difficult
to manage, - I leave it to you to give her the final injunctions about
not staying up too late, about not making herself troublesome etc. Also
if you will send, by Rosemary, the list of her expense to you, I'll be
pleased, because I hate to keep it unsettled. I wish you also were
coming, - all of you, in fact. I shall never be able to thank you
enough for arranging this for me- my indebtness to you has become something
ridiculous, - I feel like an ant wanting to climb an Alp when I think of
ever repaying any of it. When shall you come?

My best best love to you all- and mille thanks, as always.

I d thought first to ask her to stay in Europe another year so that
Chesterand I could pick her up next spring when we came, and travel with
her, as that would be better than seeing her after we got to America,
which would be some time in late summer. But now I don't count on that
as Joe who was to leave today on his vacation cant go until no one
knows when, and undoubtedly that's what will happen to us next spring. And
if I haveRM this summer we can be together all day- and it will give Cheste
a sense of other, and her a sense of family and a home; I adored it yesterday
when he said, gulping very hard-- How, just how tall IS she? -- He is
in an awful panic about her coming the darling- but I know once he knows me
her it will vanish and they'll be the greatest of friends; I can't tell
you what a darling he is-- if he weren't so utterly an angel I d
not be minding so terribly this separation of the best of our
love-- it's all so ironic-- the way this beastly living distorts
everything one creates-- I still want, wont give in and Isay
god pity me if ever I really am forced to-- I cant expect
you to come, one wouldnt come to China unless one were bored in Europe whic
you couldnt be-- I sit for hours wondering or surmising what all of you
are doing--

Well, back to business-- I fancy perhaps you may ask the Russ
consulate what people are going, they may tell you-- and the German
Cooks might also, although if by the time you get this it isn't arranged
it will, I fear be too late. I hate to bother you Barbara dear-
I feel so estranged from you all because none of you ever write to me and
it makes me feel bold and terribly reluctant to ask favors, especially
such difficult ones-- and especially because there is nothing any
of you ask of me-- to relieve me;

Buzzy leaves June 8 for his new post in Berlin-- he still
talks of you as the ONLY woman so they tell me. So prepare for a
wooing.

Have you changed Barbxy, or are you changing? I'd love to know
what is in your heart.

Later.

"that do you think; it is a gala evening. Chester is beginning, to
night, to read the Dove: He was so sweet and rather frightened as he
took it up-- and I thought myself, I'd feel better if I came
away and did something beside watch him. I thought of the time I
begab reading Hughs mss; He is now in NY you know, and I hope and
pray this break well for him or I shall feel so terribly guilty.
But he cant help but be successful, I think... I told him he had
to let you know, if he went to Paris, but I fancy he'll stay in
NY for a time..

I am, by way of precaution, taking out life insurance, did it today-- for RM. I thought I'd better get a few thousand dollars worth anyway, because in case-- just in case, anything did happen to me very suddenly, in the next few years, I don't, above all things, want Chester to feel responsible about a child he's never seen, not should I want her dependent for her schooling, on anybody at all. It was a funny feeling though, these things always are like the hand of God passing in shadow, I suppose I shall ever get to take them reasonably.... yet surely I must be a realist or I shouldn't have taken out the insurance, on the principle that there is no reason why Chester should love RM because he loves me, and therefore it would be unfair to put him in a position of responsibility for someone else's child that he's never seen. However, the romantic still flourishes, for I had to give a violent whack on the head to the old sentimental demon who wanted to say, BUT if you love some body, you want to be responsible for their child: "once again is just so many or so much, shall we say your favorite dessert. Unless you've changed your habits/"

Anyway, added to that, and typhoid injections which begin to morrow I am becoming Shanghaied. I got vaccinated, and it didn't take. But there's a fearful lot of typhoid this moment, and it's not a pretty disease. It's pretty so many refugees coming to town, but considering everything, Shanghai is remarkably healthy as a port, for at least, they don't have epidemics. Dearest, don't mention market collapses; For some weeks we didn't know what was going to happen. As it is, the firm lost their entire years profits, but they decided it was fair loss, as they learned enough from it to keep from ever having bad losses again-- though that is the kind of thing one says in bad weather and forgets in fair... I wondered if you'd lost a lot, or if you got out of it safely.

Oh Barbara dearest, I shall be so happy if you manage between you to have RM for a few days/// I am in such a turmoil about him; I have a letter that I've been writing her for ten days and simply cant finish.... Everybody says not to have her out, because of climate, because of unsettled conditions, because of the abnormal kind of life there is here-- because of Chester and myself. I put that last, not because I am ashamed that I fear anything coming between C and myself, which of course I do, but because, in this case, I think the other reasons come first, really. RM thinks it is this coming summer that we are to come to Europe, I didn't realize that until her last letter, and she also said of course she would return here with us, wouldn't she??? I am more upset because of her having sooften mentioned her father, this summer, She spoke a number of tiles about him to my sister, please tell this to Glenway because I want him to bear it in mind(--- and I am so afraid that some day she may just say, well if my mother is never going to be able to have me with her, Ill just go to my father---- and I die if she did.... BZZX A nineteen year old girl collitted suicide here the other day-- that frightened me also,

An american 'flapper' in one way, shameless in the rather delight
ful way they are- knowing, intelligent, overwrought, too popular,
she gabbeduced and then killed herself because she was ashamed,
the puritansuddenly surging up--- and there it was. I'd got to
know her rather well, she was one of Dons friends,, and it simply
stung me for days/ You see, I'd thought I ought to send R.M. to
America next year, that it WAS her heritage-- that it was
time she had friends of her own age, that this and that- you know al
all the reasons-- that next year none of you, my dearest ones
might be in Europe, and I hated her to be all alone on a continent.
And also that she must begin studying for some kind of career.
Then everybody in 'hang hai' began talking what sixteen year old
girls were like in America, the things that went on, the drinking
and - - well things --- I know one must be fatalistic about
growing girls-- and yet it makes me antici to think of R.M.
being so far away, now that she's just entering the really dangerous
years. So, anyway, I'm happy she could have been with you all, for
it is an 'influence' and that is about all I can count on
at the moment... And then too, she wont feel so utterly forsaken
and neglected if she sees some one now and again, who loves me,
and hasn't forgotten her... her letters are so lonely, and that
does upset me... And I cant talk to Chester about it, yousee,
it just simply doesnt exist as a reality to him--- it cant---
and there's no use distressing him, or trying to inject it
into him--

Im so glad you met Tancred at last: He is a love. Mille thanks
for the stockings my dear. If you got any dark ones among the lot
will you send along a pair or two. My dark ones, gunmetal etc all
have fallen apart, and one cant get them here, or at least they
are fabulons. However it doesn't matter. If the bodices arent
finished, will you ask if they can make half of them a little
more decollete in the back? I think by making them a trifle
larger, that could be done; It was just a wee bit on the tight
side anyway, as I remember... But that also, wont matter if it
cant be done.

"f, before you come out, Poiret or anyone has a sale, and you
see a dress that 'd die without, do get it for me, and ill
pay you when you come if that's all right... Evening preferred,
but a nice day dress that I could wear to teas would also be
most welcome. I was a fool about the clothes I got: The lovely
Lancin fell apart in the heat worse luck-- and most of the things
'ernande made Chester hates- and 've been giving away to my young
sister by ever post-- he likes the laced peasant dresses, and
the red leather suit and the long evening dresses, the kind I've
had so many of-- and he loathes the red hat Poiret made me
and 've only worn it once, he adores the one I was married in and
the Fujita with the doves, I am glad I subcombed to that/ He
abominates the blue tailored suit --so there I am, with
almost no changes of costume at all. The two chinese evening
dresses I really cant wear-- they embarrass other people, and so
I shall desist- and the green satin evening one, in which my
picture was taken I have our wash man to dry clean and he washed
it the wretch, whch is what the dry cleaners do also, but the
loveliness of the color is gone. You will bring the
pajamas when you come wont you, for I shall love copying them
if I may, but wont wear until you ve gone.

I had the house warming last week, sixty people for tea
dance, our drawing room is huge enough for that-- and if I
admit it, it was said to have been a great success. ..

I've met Mrs Renner, very handsome, and nice, but too uplifted,
I suppose anyone married to him would HAVE to be above the things
of this earth. You always expect her to be tied to a stake in
another second, she has that kind of extatic glow in her eyes.

However, you must meet her, she loves 'intelligent people')-- Shang hai is divided between those who love horses love bridge, love the Huskies, love anything that is AArristik- love intelligent people, a few love God and a lot Asve what s called mammon--- I think I shall join those who love God after a bit. I have got to hate anything AARtistik-- I've heard so much about it in the Kansas dialect...

You'll like Grace Brady as I said-- Dorothy Poland will be gone alas, I'll give her a note to Glenway-- her husband is a great man, they say-- he planned the railroads of Persia or so mething; Did any of you ever meet a Mrs Parr, half french half Polish who has a brother Nickie in Paris, I wonder if it is Ealds Nickie? She married a descendent of the ill fated Catherine-- and has just divorced him, or did in Persia where the said Mr Reddicker or Renniker was stationed-- and they came to Shanghai and now are off for Paris, having caused a lot of commotion along the 'emmerer commission people whom they didn't expect to see HERE, and whom they had last seen in Persia when She was Mrs Parr and he was a bachelor, if you can figure that out. It appears she revolves in the Elsie de Wol fe series of constellations.

Imagine, here I sit with the doors open, Dec 12--- although the last week was rainy. But today the sun is shining and birds are chirping-- I meant to send you a snap of this house but I cant find it, don't that I am....

As to everything else, I'll talk and talk when you get here. As soon as I change my habits of conduct, I should be the happiest person on earth. It will be difficult to do probably, but I am being forced into it, for one cant go on struggling with the intangible, and my darling is just like that -- the thing you say is all that matte's, the thing he sees --- the things you've thought all week and then said in other words simply don't exist-- well, I cant have any fun any more breathing or being what was once called interesting -- so I shall probably reach the stage of saying what I mean straight out, and not even minding asking for a cheque when I overdraw my account, instead of contemplating suicide because of the humiliating position of dependent women in the world. "Eighho darling Barbara-- but it's a grand life.... And I do love it...."

I must stop. I met a woman yesterday, jewess of course, one of Cheste's best clients, who had a sable coat that would make one swoon, if one were so inclined: She said, en passant, that it wasn't nearly as nice as the chinchilla or the three ermines and she even preferred the mink, not to mention etcetera, er husband weighs three hundred and twenty pounds and she loves him as much as that.

Please come soon. Oh dearest little Barbara it's going to be such happiness to see you again! Give my best best love to the darlings--- I havent written to anybody for six weeks at least--- for a while I couldnt write to anybody, and then later I hadnt the time. Kisses and much much love; What about Va?? Send her my fondest affection when you write.

Barbara my darling, do do come Siberia, people are traveling that way via Vladavostok, all the time? Come soon or something will happen to that route as well I'maf aid, so do do do come. Yourroom is all waiting for you dearest. And I think it's bad luck for you to be so far away from me, all t ese acc dents didn't happen when we were together. I do so want you to come. I wish you werehere this minute. I do iss you so, you think I'm just talking nonsense I know, but I feel so incomplete without you, please do come.... "ire me wont you if there is a chance that youll come soon....

Today is race day, the three days of the big races when all "shanghai ex cept Swan Culberteson and "ritz close shop and go to the racecourse... Chester has half day today though thanks to it being a holiday in NY/ "hat a fort ght we ve had with the Wall st crash/ The firm working "until all hours of the night-- and dead with anxiety and fatigue.?The other night Chuck and Joe dropped Chester at the door, and Chuck said, well, sweet dreams,, Yes, growled Chester, Id I get any SLEEP. ....However its proved the solidity of the firm, for no reckless firm could have stood this crash, and they came through with flying colors.Ive wondered if it affected you?

Last night Leon Ellis, en route to Peki g where he is to be second secy, dined with us, hes an old fr end of Chesters, and he spoke of Maiti, and of the fact that Chris relieved him in Berne; he began to say what the legation people thought of Va leaving him and abandoning her children,, why she let "ross take the children to "ai ti mind you and she stayed in Paris and refused to go down there because she hated the place, but she didn't mind consigning her children to it-- said he.... I was so angry Chester had to sit on my stomach to hold me down/ And I told him what for you can just believe... I never was so angry... He said that Chris got transfered to Berne because he hold the state dept has wife refused to live in any except civil zed centers, and they saw she threatened divorce because he was sent to--aiti, so on the strength of that they gave him Berne,, Dont you love that

I wonder if any of your letters got lost when the si berian trouble first began? It seems to me that I only get a letter from you or G about once in eight weeks or more. I've been very bad mysekf for weeks about writing- but I've been terribly busy, and still am, trying to rearrange this huge house so that it will be its most comfrotab e, for our needs , for a year.... Unless you have already done something bout the project I mentio ed, about Glenway darling-- please wait: For this reason. The question of R M still is a rather delicate one-- Chester said the once that the rreason he had at first suggested that I remain in Europe until autumn, and thus have the summer with R M after our long separation was with the idea in mind that , doing it that way, I'd not feel panicky about seeing her within a few months after arriving here. The point is that this year we have the large house, and are able to live so comfortably and nicely, that I should love above all things to have R M for a few months, greatly for the moral good it would do her; To be with me at last in a real home, happily and more or less co venti nally settled, would, I think, wipe out a great deal of the accumulation of bad things inside her, thing s bad for her I mean, that developed out of my unstable and changing life.... But since it costs so much I have made the plan to save all the money Cheste gives me at birt days etc, I've asked him to give me money instead of gifts-- and then use it to help bring R M out this spring perhaps

If she came late spring she d not miss mich school, and she could
leave here for the U S before the wors t of the heat came on. 'Other
wise I shouldnt be seeing her for about twetty months, and she d
not have met Chester or have any definite and secure feeling of
belonging to us, or of my own security which I know she longs to
feel... And although I know Chester would let me send for her ...
at any time if I absolutely isisted, it would be a foolish move
And of course it is expensive, and his money is all put into the
business, and then, he s a cautious person anyway, in everything,
so between the two of us and our characteristics, I'd probably never
see R M out here unless I began trying to wangle something, that
didn't necessar illy involve him. All this, much as I long to
see G, as you know.

I had a letter from Ben Johnston who said he was only in
Paris a few days, and you we e out of town which he regretted deeply
as he longs to meet you: He tells me he met Chard who is now back
in NY and about to marry a girl in Rye, a ministers daughter or
something... It was quick work for Chard I neve dreamed he
could act on anything so speedily, it seems a good sign; It did
surprise me coming on the heels of a letter from him in which he
said if in a year or ten I was free, he d marry me then/ Nice
of him... I'm glad he s marr ying; Almost anybody, but myself
would be good for him.

Juliet Bredon and her husband are teasing here tomorrow;
She has a colossal curiosity about you, Buzzy told her that he
had begun to give up hope. Also someone said that you were keeping
Frankie etc etc., Peking is stimm agog with takes about you and Buzzy
it seems. I've not seen Robbie since polo stopped. Oh by the
way Mr Webb whose house we re in will be along almost anyday, he left
via Suez-- and he has with him a silver toilet set which
deaarest I wish you or I vy would keep until R M comes to Paris, or if
possible get it to Suisse for her, I dont know if silver can be
mailed there, since it cant be into 'trance. Its for her birthday
Jan 26; She writes the sweetest letters, next year I expect she l
be in the U S;

Sometimes I wonder what will become of me out here?
I mind some t ings very luch, the fact that we never get to do any
t ing together Chester and I... The new things that I'd like to do
he s fed up on of course-- roaming around 'hanghai isn't any fun
to him. And ones life fillsup with so many triviliaties, maybe
they are most important afte all-- I dont k now. Usually I think
about mysef very little, I havent time to in fact/ But now and again
I get into a panic... Well, what of it.

Please dearest come out to see us. It will be good for
you to get far away after your accidents and everything. This
is a stupid letter- its a rainy day and you know how dull I am
ob rainy days.

I think Rm could write bits for the "New Yorker." do all of you try to encourage her, she could make a bit of money to spend on the endless knicknacks she loves to buy, and it would help her. She has that special kind of gift that you don't think? Or not..

Did you send Mr V an announcement of your marriage, or a note. "Is such a 'meanie' about things like that and holds everything against ME that any of you- whom he is met through me, don't do."

I'd give an eye for a realletter from you- what you feel about NY what you think of any of my friends whom you've met- have you met Roger Baldwin, phone to him, you'd all adore him- RM thinks Lloyd is an angel. She says you have a quite different 'look' through happiness.. I'm so glad darling Bobby.

I wish Rm would get something. Alyne bothers me so terribly too-- I don't know what to do about her, she gets thinner all the time, wont take care of herself, insists on having a job now be cause she doesn't want to take from ME- heavens how she worries me.. "What a jumble of a world. At moments I feel I cant bear another instant of knowing how much meanness and wickedness and suffering there is.. I expect there has to be some of course, but it is the awful thought at times that there's so much more evil than good that is so crushing... I dare say I need a tonic!"

Goodbye darlings, so many many thanks for any wayou can keep an eye on my child- and do help keep up her cour age. Your devoted

ENTRANCE
RUE PERE HUC
TEL. 73243

THE CLOISTERS
62 ROUTE DE BOISSEZON
SHANGHAI

Nov 12

Angelic Bobby-- You should see the Utrillo hanging newly on the
our dining room wall, in its honor we striped the walls, and changed
everything about, Rose Miguel and I worked all morning to get it to
suit our diverse tastes. I shall have it photographed and send you a
so you can see the effect. And I've had the few friends who might
like it, and would appreciate it, come to look. Chester is so
pleased with himself having it, because it belongs to him. I told
you my mot about it, didn't I, that Chester now says, "hat is
yours in ours, but what is mine is mine, not much of a lot after all
but still, I bought it funny at the time. I made one about the prince
of wales toothat everybody laughed at at the time, but I dont think
its going to sound like much here; one of the chinese girls asked
was the prince of wles going to be the king of england, and I said
he couldnt be because he was already the queen.. No, definitely, it
sounds awful. Scratch it out....

R and M saw your uncle Templeton a lot, both in Bali an
in N Y and IN Mexico where he visited them this last year. They were
full of the Rivera story of course, and brought ME by the way, a
portfolio in color of the new murals, in Mexico, and Chester a copy
of the Limited Editions Batouala which M illustrated suprably;
I've never seen such luggage they had 60 pieces most of it camer's and
painting equipment, it never occured to them to put a lot of it in
one large case of some sort--- they ve just gone and we miss them.

I'll write you a long long letter soon, this is just a note.
To tell you how we're living with the picture, and think of you
every time we look at it... Bobby darling I'm going to send you

Suppose, but also, as potent and direct her letters
are fascinating, clear as a glass of water, frank as the naked
flesh.

I'm very crazy about her. I think you'll be too. What about
Va. "here is she, and how? I cant think what to bring her,
but have about decided on a Japanese print, we found so me quite
nice ones in Myoneshta this summer? Do you think she'd
like that? I do so, wish I could see her-- but of course I shant
try until she wants to see people...; Aywa give her my most fond love.

"hay do you think about all the time up there,, it must
make a profound change in one, sitting for months on the top of
the world, thinking down on people-- seeing how idiotic it
all is;;; which reminds me that your young man went with us
two weeks ago to the Igansz riedman concert- I d asked him but
he said he d be in anking then he suddenly wrote that He d be here
for the day might he come, and he did, and was very sweet but
othe s being there, you werent mentioned,, I m beginning to
think he s very conceited, in a sort of detached from himan folli
follies way, do you see what and how I mean it?He s so inaccessi
bde and so secure from things somehow;;, its very tantalizing;

via Suez of course
"arling Bobby-- do write to pore,,
the japanese hold up our letters,,
OH DO write to Mrs Youlan Tcheng
League of nations, Geneva and say if she s
see you- she s the niece of Soomei Tcheng,
the best known amateur cinema star in China,
very handsome and I
think terribly bored. Chester just phoned our
for pore on Apr 4 it is called Baloeran,
24 April, and then to angier, IF C has to go
at once, he thinks, and then return south,
In the meantime, darling,, all all my love,,
us both.

I like terribly and 'ir Victor reached in his hat and pulled out a nice
italian writer too, a Mme Boissisi, who is coming, anta alao to tea
on Wed, with all my 'gang'. And the young actor from Peiping, 'eis
rival is opening down here next week for a month so there'll be treat e
again... Out of it all, I have abusy heetic life, with no one friend
but a good many people whom II love as ideas rather than people, and
with whom I manage to arrange to do occassional and interesting things.

while we were traveling you'd have had your lungs
while we were traveling you'd have had your lungs
lungs examine d and perhaps taken care of yourself enough to have pre
vented this severe attack, but you were and I suppose still are a
donkey about your health, and there is no talking to you as long as you
are able to stick a pig.

Later Sylvia Chanc lor just popped in to see me, and we spent half an
hour gossipy g about everything, including the circu:s "agenbecks,
which $s here now and she said d o you know "agenbeck already and
I said whyeever should I, and she said Oh I fully expected to come here
and find you playing with the seals and elephants you always get
people in your house one sges no place else, I said no but I once
entertained a python im ew York- and its true, Glenway was there,...

"I agreed too that Leonie, once she is away seems like a mystery"
one isn't sure of anything about her, or him for that matter-- and we get
to wondering the strangest things about them which disappear instantly
they return.

As for our trip, we plan now leaving the middle of Feb and going
to Bali for a fortnight, as Rose and Miguel will still be there, then
perhaps to N Africa also for a bit, then spain and across 'france to
Austria, 'aris and 'ondon on our way to America. I shant ask where
you'll be because I fancy your ppans will develope with your health,
and our plans will vary to accomodate yours whenever you like and
can have us or be with us;; it would be nice if you could be in
Bad 'astein and alzburg with us, wouldnt that be good for you? We re
both going to take the cure there;;; Anywa, if you are still having
to stay put, I shall let C wander about as he likes and I ll come
and stop with you if and when I may, with Rosemary I fancy, if that can
be done... She will join us imedially her school is over, and we ll
all roam around together..

Dici Smith just having arranged a new apt, $s being sent to Mukden
which makes him sic; he s coming today to say goodbye. Little Mrs Mohr
did I tell you, also has things wrong with her lungs and is in the hosital
in Rekin for a few months, avent seen Billy but shall at the first hunt
next Sat- she s really a funny creature, and WHAT an exhibitionist
at the races-- but she does it superbly-- Don't bother about the dress
dearest- I'll wait now until I get to Europe.

Read Ge trude Steins book- it is amusing, though quite
irritating as well, she has known only thr e e geniuses and the first
is G Stein alors,, it makes me itch to write my experiences with
her and I even think I may yet. 'id you ever get the black
pajames through "allas franklin, forgive me for going on asking out shes
a most unreliable child, andI sent thr e pairs, one for each if you and
hope you all got them. "hat would you like me to b ing you? Where and
how is Va. now? I would so love to see her but am af aid I never shall,
I so often think about my curious part in her life, and her part in
mine and how we all twine in and out of eachother, sometimes keeping
the thread, sometimes it gets snipped,, I must tell you I ve never
adored C as much as I do now, he s such an angel really. I am much nicer
than I used to be too about him, and what he does, and what I dont do...

Barbara darling: People tell me that it will be almost humanly impossible to gey hotel accommodation in Paris this spring because of the colonial exposition. That being the case, will you make reservations for us, say from the 15th May on for a month, to be sure-- (we can always cancel if we change about) I've been thinking over where to stop, and wondered if the most sensible place would be the Madison, St Germain des Prés-- which is quite new, convenient, and near to you. The Foyot is too dusty for the summer time, although nearer to you and the boys, but the walk across the town will be good for us. My feeling about being a tourist in Paris is an uncertain one. If I were stopping de Luxe I suppose I should prefer the Ritz as it would be most fun just seeing all the show go by-- but we're going to economize on living if we can so that we can do other things, and for me, so that I can have some clothes, which I've so counted on and now damn all the stars in heaven, the exchange is so appalling that I shant feel happy about spending a sou. However, I prefer the "adison to the "Lutetia" which is too much for the transient stranger-- and can think of nothing better, although between you, do settle it for us any way you like. We prefer not to be right bank where we will surely run into people who are traveling from the east and will think we ought to be 'good fellows in a strange land' which we have no mind to be. So if you want mind doing this for me I shall be most grateful.

Now one thing more. Lizica, Mrs 'e an Fontenoy lo bis impasse Mont tonnere, took back with her the ermine for my coat/ Since it is the first really lovely thing I've ever had in my life, by way of an actual extravagance, I'm eager for it to turn out well. I have asked her to have it made up for me, so that I shall be able to wear it, weather permitting, a few times after I get to Europe. I asked her to look you up when she got there, but I am sure she will wait until I come as she is frightfully shy about meeting people for the first time, and is afraid of this and that, a ll nonsense. But if you and Glenway think you d like to see what is to be done to it, knowing me as you do and what I hike, do look her up, and ask to go along when she looks out for a modek after which to have it made e/ She'll be happy to have you do it as she was very loathe to do it alone, but if it isn't made before I get there I shant of course have a chance to wear it until next winter. And I'm pining to put it on and feel I've 'arrived'. Please laugh because I'm meaning to be funny and am afraid I'm not a success..... However, if it is too busy a time what with books being written, produced and sold-- don't my dear give it another thought.

I have another order for a Youlo, isn't that fun? Maud Cabot, who by the way just married Pat Morgan as much to their own surprise as any one else, but which I found delightful news-- she wants one also. But to find one the right age to ship is the problem. Mrs 'raser who had the best pups, wanted a hundred dollars for a pup aged six weeks it was a love but I thought the risk of shipping it too great at that age. I have advertised and found several but they have stupid faces and bad markings, and so I'm still on the hunt. Mrs Fraser has two divine parents, a biege one that looks like a tiny seal with long hair, if you can make anything of that, it has that sloping way of lifting its head, and is graceful as a cat, and naughty as a monkey.

Chester the darling is in miserable health. Not actually sick but nervous as can be, think drawn under the eyes, and in a panic to get away. Joe had to go to Japan, they are opening an office there, when he comes back Chuck goes to Manila for the same purpose, and when he gets back we are off. We are both in such a state for fear something may go wrong

PS Just had a letter from the Covarrubias' on leaving Sumatra, they stayed in Bali six months and learned EVERYTHING, though we never heard of, they wept, so did all the island, when they went. They saw the dances rehearsed in ava and Bali for the exposition, said they are sublime.

"Sailing the books just arrived, and are too too beautiful, I don't think I've ever seen more beautiful books any where in the world. Not only are they beautiful but everything is so a propos, I've shown them to every one, isn't it too exciting. I envy you; not the books exactly but the achievement-- you're a singular creature-- I envy you lots of other things, but you know most of them anyway... Mille thanks dearest I've kissed each one a hundred times with joy and thanks.

from

in Japan or Man and delay us, in which case we will arrive a pair of corpses. I have got just to the end of my optimism and endurance. "when I think of coming back I become quite faint, and have the most ominous forebodings that the rich activity of my life is over - and dead. Except for the dreaming about it, which composes almost my entire life, as to tell the truth, I see so little of Chester that it is absurd. And there is nothing I can do, now, but I'm determined to fight it out when we come back for I didn't cross the world to sit in China waiting ten years or whatever it may turn out to be, for him to be able to go elsewhere, so we could have life. I want it every day-- I cant possibly live otherwise, but now I'm trying to be patient and not torment him while he's feeling miserable and harrassed by other people. I look forward to out release, as toward an entrance into paradise... If the summer isn't happy-- good heavens, how can I think it wont be-- every breathe I draw is in anticipation of it. I hope so we'll see much of you. But I plan nothing until we get there and see. We will adjust our plans according to whatever you my darlings, are doing. So that we can see you as much as possible without disturbing your lives and habits.; I so so pray you can come out next winter Barbara... Do do try.

Did you hear by the way that Mrs Pratt had one baby that died, but now has another that is well and lovely?

The Sakharoffs are dancing here this week, that at least is some thing. And Dick Smith arrives on Wed for a few days, en route to America and your ears will burn: "e wrote me you'd sent him some lovely records. He's a dear, and I wish he lived in Shanghai, so I'd have someone to talk to.

The second nice day after the rains. One feels too active and wants to do everything. I've so much more to say but must wait/ Best love dearest dearest Barbara--

Barbara darling: People tell me that it will be almost humanly impossible to gey hotel accomodation in Paris this spring because of the colonial exposition. That being the case, will you make reservations for us, say from the 15th May on for a month, to be sure-- (we can always cancel if we change about) I've been thinking over where to stop, and wondered if the most sensible place would be the Madison, St Germain des Res-- which is quite new, convenient, and near to you. The Foyot is too dusty for the summer time, although nearer to you and the boys, but the walk across the town will be good for us. My feeling about being a tourist in Paris is an uncertain one. If I were stopping de Luxe I suppose I should prefer the Ritz as it would be most fun just seeing all the show go by-- but we're going to economize on living if we can so that we can do other things, and for me, so that I can have some clothes, which I've so counted on and now damn all the stars in heaven, the exchange is so appalling that I shant feel happy about spending a sou. However, I prefer the "Madison to the Lutetia which is too much for the transient stranger-- and can think of nothing better, although between you, do settle it for us any way you like. We prefer not to be right bank where we will surely run into people who are traveling from the east and will think we ought to be 'good fellows in a strange land' which we have no mind to be. So if you wont mind doing this for me I shall be most grateful.

Now one thing more. Lizica, Mrs "ean Fontenoy lo bis impasse Mont tonnere, took back with her the ermine for my coat/ Since it is the first really lovely thing I've ever had in my life, by way of an actual extravagance, I'm eager for it to turn out well%. I have asked her to have it made up for me, so that I shall be able to wear it, weather permitting, a few times after I get to Europe. I asked her to look you up when she got there, but I am sure she will wait until I come as she is frightfully shy about meeting people for the first time, and is afraid of this and that, a ll nonsense. But if you and Glenway think you'd like to see what is to be done to it, knowing me as you do and what I like, do look her up, and ask to go along when she looks out for a modek after which to have it made/ She'll be happy to have you do it as she was very loathe to do it alone, but if it isn't made before I get there I shant of course have a chance to wear it until next winter. And I'm pining to put it on and feel I've 'arrived'. Please laugh because I mean to be funny and am afraid I'm not a success..... However, if it is too busy a time what with books being written, produced and sold-- don't my dear give it another thought.

I have another order for a Youlo, isn't that fun? Maud Cabot, who by the way just married Pat Morgan as much to their own surprise as any one else, but which I found delightful news-- she wants one also. But to find one the right age to ship is the problem. Mrs "raser who had the best pups, wanted a hundred dollars for a pup aged six weeks it was a love but I thought the risk of shipping it too great at that age. I have advertised and found several but they have stupid faces and bad markings, and so I'm still on the hunt. Mrs Fraser has two divine parents, a biege one that looks like a tiny seal with long hair, if you can make anything of that, it has that sloping way of lifting its head, and is graceful as a cat, and naughty as a monkey.

Chester the darling is in miserable health. Not actually sick but nervous as can be, think drawn under the eyes, and in a panic to get away. Joe had to go to Japan, they are opening an office there, when he comes back. Chuck goes to Manila for the same purpose, and when he gets back we are off; We are both in such a state for fear something may go wrong.

to Paris briefly to see Jan Heiligers, who was here not long ago
getting material for the colonial exposition- he lives 45 quai Bour
Bourbon, and is charming, a friend of Evaauthiers by the way-
Jan will have a cocktail party for Dr Otto who willask him to
 invite all ofyou and I hope you ll all go, e is an old friend
of Chesters.

Olgaehlgren turned up a few weeks ago, simply panting to
know about Va and not believing me when I said I knew nothing. She
told me a long story about the time when Va was helping G Anthiel,-
remember the vile letters he wrote us all, and how upset I was,-
well Olga says Va had promised to help them, through her, and when
Va met me they were all sure the jig was up and I d try to get
her not to help them, but to help painters or writers, so
they all hated me at once, of course Va never to this day told
me one single word about what she was doing, or why- I assumed she
was giving the concerts at her house because it pleased her, not
because it was being wangled for Georges sake, and I told Olga
that flattered as I felt, Va never consulted me by even a syllable
as to what or whom she should help, or had helped.. Anyway, I
liked her rather better than before, when I frankly didn't like here
I found her, then-pretentious, a poseur, too incessantly talkative,
with a horrid voice; She still talks, and her voie e is the same but
she seems to have got more simple-- maybe its because the last day
she suddenly said, quite pathetically, bernardine, what can I do with
my life, you see me - tell me what you think of me, tell me what
you think I ought to do. I ve come to the end of my ingenuity/...

I thought of you- not now but a few years ago, and I
wondered about you a few years hence-- while she was taliing--
I suppose the answer is that you re a little , just a wee trifle too
fortunate in some ways- both of you. And it makes a kind of impotence
about some of life for you-- God only knows what people 'ought to do
I- wretch fool and essential npnad, could advise no one.

["April 3", "It really is too exciting, I'm already beginning to pack. Listen dearest Bobby, we will stop at the Esplanade in Berlin, arriving there I suspect about the fourteenth or fifteenth. If there is any special thing going on so that we might not get rooms would you drop them a note asking them to keep a double room and bath, and that we will wire from Moscow which day we will arrive. It would be awful to get there and fine the city full.\n\nI believe it or not, I have got very interested, through the Sakharoffs, in an Indian-- perhaps that shows that I am beginning to decay-- for I've never had much patience for any of the books or creeds about what to do with your life. This young man is Krishnamurti, who was once Annie "esants 'Messiah' until he got old enough to think it a lot of utter nonsense and went to Holland to live, renouncing all creelions creeds dogmats teachers masters cults and fads. At least, so he says. Anyway he writes practical simple zdekszz suggestions about the development one problems, with the ultimate hope of the salvation of the eternal soul if any-- the mortal and earthly soul, which is all that I can cope with.. It doesn't seem to say anything new. I sometimes doubt that anything could to anyone who has had as many catastrophes as I've had-- but it seems to sum up so decently and quietly, the various things I've been finding out for many years. And that does seem a gratification-- putting ones eye to it-- somehow.", "I just discovered that some very nice people whom we know well, the Gills here, he is one of the most famous engineers in the world. I fancy it has been here for a year for the new telephone company-- they re related to Hoppas, somewhere or other, also they have a visitor from Singapore, another cousin, who is also related to Hoppas. he knows Paddy very well. It was fun.", "Oh what a dither we are in, both of us, about starting off. I'm so so panicky that something will happen-- I feel and I tore a hole as big as a small spring in my other day in my excitement, in spite of Chesters admonitions to 'relax.' He's such a sweet... And I see how he'll always always get the better of me in everything simply because he is so sweet. I don't much mind really-- only I think it would be better for him to get the better of me some other way. Kisses to you all, a million and a half. And as many hugs as rlings,"]

March 28

Yearest-- Thanks for your sweet wire. We will do whatever you and the boys think best about everything-- so I shall let everything go at that.

I do think however, that when we arrive we had best go to an hotel, as we shall perhaps stay only a week before going to London, after which we will return to Paris, say for a month at least... I leave it all to you-- trusting that wont be a burden.

We are so happy we cant breathe. God knows how we shall bear it if anything were to happen. I have not uncrossed my fingers in weeks: First three weeks ago Mrs Swan was operated on in the middle of the night, and a week ago Mrs Cullbertons. By all the laws of logic is looks as if I were to be next, but God forbid says she again, piously. I shall have to do something about clothes I fancy when I get there, although my present notio, is to wear what I've got for the summer, especially if we go south, and then get new things for the winter, for out here. I shall return with my poiret trousseau all made over, the insides turned out and the outsides in etc, and perhaps will look like the country cousin of the world, I dont know, but if you are ashamed to be seen with me you may pretend I've just dropped from Mars, which I have in fact.

Later. The Sakharoffs have been dancing here and it has been ablessed distraction for me, for I've been about with them most of the time, and it has been like sunshine and dew. We just came back from Lord Li's-- he showed them his things, bronzes 4000 years old-- etc-- and then we had a huge chinese tea, How I do adore chinese food. And yesterday we were the only foreigners ate a sunday tea at the Majestic, the last as it is to be torn down, given by Sir Robert Hu Tung, the richest chinese living he is said to be, 70 years old, what what what a character, your father would love him, he perhaps knows him. there is a chance that we will chaperon his 22 year old daughter to Europe, she wants to study journalism in London. "We got a great deal of 'face' with the chinese by being ther e. I wonder if you will see Lizica before I get there. I am still pursuing the dog. The best one seems to be in Peking, but how to get it here is the next question. I am confident I'll get one before we leave though. Give my love to Virginia. I pray I'll get to see her this time.. Goodness, how many things we'll all have to talk about...

A million hugs and kisses to you all. I shall probably be ill when I arrive, from sheer excitement, and not being able to sleep. Goodbye for now, dearest darling Barbara-- soon soon soon...

desperate problem of this country- they simply are not administrators, they need their old dragon lady back. I should say-- because they worshipped her, and desire graft and corruption, they were happier unde her and most propperous than today- even though the foreigners hadn't given themubs. And hen people say to be, as a woman did yesterday-, why this country hasn't had a civilization for 3000 years, I simply turned in her like a lion, 3000 years ago THIS ladys ancestor

if she had any were hanging by the tails, and the Chinese were producing the most exquisite porcelains the world has ever seen. damn them all- I do get so furious. The chinese are, you see, a lovable people, they are good as gold, happy, gay, amusing, practical, terribly sharp tongued, I me an as wits, and they leave the woes to destiny. if it comes, it s too bad, and burn a few more joss sticks, and call it a day, but you owe the joss for the privilege of being in this world, and to those who bore you etc-- Now of course they foreigners are trying to change them. First they call them yellow because they think, let some one else fight, why should we bother our selves, however at last, they ave fought, and so well that nobody can believe it and NOW the foreigners sa Oh it is fatal, what what an error, why didn't they make a humane gesture to the world and say, rather than subm it to all this blood shed and destruction, we withdraw. I, their own country mind you; As they didn't do it and it makes the foreigners scared to death, as the 'war instead of being over in a few days may go on for months-- the foreigners now ;nxe, as Chester says, are bellyaching'. Then when they have no sense of honor, as the foreigner say, they leab, sometimes the chinese are clever enough to get ahead of us in ways that we are not clever at-- the chinese do not of course have a million laws to protect everything they do, as we do against each other-- they have a code of honor that is strong as the earth, and they make a game of playing to see who wins out-- they have that touchof humor everywhere, it is true, dont laugh, they never take life with the grim desperate earnestness, for instance that Mrs Chester Fritz does, anyway, they never mind the thought of death, which means a pleasant reunion to them, and Mrs Chester Fritz damn well wants to live a long time still, what for she doesn't know quite; the idiot that she is...

One cent imagine though that perhaps one will get killed in this, somehow one simply cannot imagine such a thing, and yet it is all a gamble now, the tiniest thing may start an uprising, or it may all end in some totally surprising and quiet way-- there is no way to predict anything; a moment ahead of one. So we will see. If by chance anything horrid does happen, I do beg you and Bobby to keep a kind eye on RM-- her letters sound so enchanting. these days, and I do miss her so frightfully- she's just beginning to wonder and question and yearn about everything. Oh happy and tender years-- ;

Goodbye at the moment my dearest dear-- I do so long to see your book... Is bobby back. here is Frances? I shall write her soon, but in the meantime, do give messages for me. One can do nothing these days as most of the shops have been closed for weeks and there is a ten oclock curfew etc, but one hates somehow to write letters, realizing that the rest of the world has a million things to divert it, and we have only the one at the moment... Once more, fondest fondest love,

Bobby darling, I'm sending off today a copy of the Critic to you, with one article especially that I marked, a letter to Marshall Chang as such Lian

by Dr Lin yu tang, a brilliant fearless and amusing man. He has just returned from a years exile and if he goeson thisway he'll be gone again in be fore he gets unpacked. there is also a short facetious opus by myself captined not by myself,

I am also sending you a wire to ask if you cannot meet us in Peiping, we leave here early in Sept. not quite sure just when, and hope to stay there three weeks. Lucile Swan, Glenway will remember her as the first Mrs 'erry plum, has a divine temple in the hills where we shall live. One needs riding gear although jodpurs will do as one goes on donkeys I think, anyway you can quite count on our being there until, say the 25th of Sept., and if you came I should stay on a while longer with you, if you could manage that, and we'd come on to Shanghai later... If you cant, PLEASE promise you'll come later. You can now come on the italian line in 20 days you know, which is nothing. Or one can fly to Saigon for that matter, the trouble with Russia is one never knows what is going to happen, and the troubles round Cholse seem meancying, might even get so bad that we shant be able to go north which would make me utterly furious, as the only other place to go is Japan and I am darned if I want to go toapan. Anyway I'm afraid to go to Japan as I still want to live and I am sure they could read my thoughts, if they havnt already read my indiscreet printed utterances.

Bobby y darling DO come. Even if we are supposed to be the lebians of the world, do come... the reputation stickts to me tighter and closer, and it will... really amuse me now, to have us seen together and know the buzz buzz that goeson, Chester thinks it quite comic, it wont be half bad if you take the Change or the Conta Rossa, both very fast boats, and excellent. And if you dont simply come along, youll never get here. I shall have to give you second rate accomodations, thatis, fix up the study for you to sleep in, shall you mind that? For we havent a guest room wretches that we are, but the study has two couches in it, very comfy ones, and there is an outside wash room, and you can use my bath, which a djoins, and as we know, our hours never conflict, or at least they never used to... it wont be de luze, but I shall try to make you very comfy, and youcan do as you please morning noon or night... And youll be able to ride every day, and we can make trips to Poo too and other places, the autumn is sol ovely-- so do do do come along... After sending me out here the least you can do is to come and have a look at me, do yount that seem logical???

Beside there is a young man in Peiping who/ O know youwill find too amusing,, Lizica knows him, he is the new Havas man there, C and I both adore him, weve laughed almost continuously since he arrived at his antics..., Not that I imagine a young man would be any inducement to you if you didn't want to come other sie, or felt youcouldnt,

Did you ever send the slips? Colette has received things right along via Siberia, evening dresses rolled into a tiny parcel, hats, shoes, negligees, almost anything in fact, and she has never had any trouble. However at the moment they would have to come Suez, as the mails have stopped, from Dairen on, nothing can come down as the chinese are buoy cotting the mails in protest, poor darlings theyalways buoycott some thing which makes Them suffer, and profits their enemies.

Rosemary apparently is going to Carnegie Tech this winter and be side going to the school of the theatre willstudy photograph, for some reason... He is studying shorthand and typing this summer which is a very useful thing.

I have given up about her 'career' whatever happens, she and the
family will have to decide, as it is too hard from here... They all feel
that she has turned out a lamb, and that the rest is up to God...
Will she be Mary's lamb or the lamb to the slaughter? I wish I knew more
about her, day by day---

that of Margaret and Francis, what of Beth, Randall Gould
t-old me he saw your name in the Moscow english paper, but didn't think
until later that You were YOU?? and then couldn't find the paper to see
what it said, I wanted to behead the brute... What is Glenway writing
now, has he returned to Mrs Cleland? I hope so, I do so, hope he is
finished that book-- I suppose it will always, remind me of Berlin,
when I think of those awful weeks I wonder that I am alive, fortunately
it wasn't quite real, any of it-- I still feel in a trance when I think
of it all, and still can't get it through my head-- it seems to have
nothing to do with what went before, or, what has happened since,
it was like one of these cholera injections, that make you deadly ill but
save you from dying if something worse should happen-- I shall never
forget the asparagus that you couldn't get, and Buzzys spats, and the t
deadly Countess, how often we have laughed about her since-- and you
with your fantastic silver ring, is it any good? Have you any new
books, be sure to have them sent me, with bill, what kind of
things is Caresse Grob y doing, how could one go far with a name like
that, I suppose she was cristened Emma or Fanny... PLEASE
write to Mrs Eugene Chen care Chinese Legation, at once, and ask her to
tea, she is too too adorable, and he is very very clever... DO DO DO%
Bobby dear, do write, and do say you'll come..

Hastily, with all my love

its been lol in the shad e for a month without a break,

ENTRANCE
RUE PERE HUG
TEL. 73243

Darling Bobby, I don't know the date but its about Apr 13 horros, I think it is Friday the 13th, itis Fri, I know that anyway,, it is diffi cult to keep track of the days. I have never regarded anything so seeming ly endless as this voyage seems to me, I want to remember how many days and am afraid to count- but as each night comes I put back my watch thanfully, saying I ve come through another day and nothing thank god has been ill. The struggle with my imagination is something formidable, imagining and i nsisting I do not imagine, that something hurts here, that I feel pains in my arm(saying NO that is suggestion from the Dr who asked you if you had shooting pains in the side and arm) endless affirmations and denialsx I defy anyone to know his real situation in the midsts of so many hopes fears dreads and despairs.. The arrogance (for which I thank god,) which has always protected me and in a way I think kept me innocent of some of the world, insists still that nothing so revolting could happen to me-- I always believed as a child for instance that people who went insane, who got in jail who had leprosy etc were a special kind of race, damned before theywere born, and outside my sphere, that you were born to be arrested, or have hideous diseases, but that of course 'we' werent that kind of people. (It was enough to be born a jew and that occupied me passionately as you know);; 't would be fun in a way to see how I should really knuckle down to it,(would I) if it all turns out to be true. I cannot for the soul of me, either as a 'writer' or a human being, fancy myself of all people dying of anything so undignified as cancer, but I must be the first to admit ewhat a joke it would be on mex.. I fancied myself as quite 'beaten' by now, beaten out of false pride and false ambitions and the empty vanities,, I see now how obstinate I still must be...

Anyway darling, I really am writing to get V S off my
mind, and I think it may amuse you and it will relieve me. I think I have
never grown to despise "any human being so much as I have to despise
him, in these few weeks. I am apparently among one of those who arouses
in him his most diabolical tendencies-- I understand it when he picks
on ' socially ' intent women, who try to 'use' or do' him( to quote hims
self, and whom he so glibly delights to tick off;; But from his pointo
view I am, after all, an utter fool, and it is so stupid for him to w
waste his talents on a fool. But granting that sadism is deriving
pleasure from the use of torment, I gratify his passions as often
as I come near him. Several times C and I have already conspired about
avoiding him except at meal times-- C said the other day, insult him,
go back at him; would you like me to? I said Oh my god no, how he d love
it if you quarreled with him for me('' and I have steeled myself dday
by day no matter what he says or does to behave normally, naturally,
and to show no agitation. In the first place when we heard he was
taking our boat we said to each other, we d better let him know we re
on that boat, as its a small one, and we are undoubtedly the last people on
earth he d choose as intimates on a voyage to Bali-- then also, being
such a prima dona, he IS difficult for we didnt want to annoy him( for
being so feminine one always fears he ll turn against the firm for social
reasons, and I d hate to have that blamed on me--) but anyway- C mentioned
it to him, thinking he could change his booking if he liked, anyway, we d
been booked weeks before he had, The funny part is that now C thinks

Sept 28

A letter from you and a cable from the boys, saying they are with you- made it a perfect day. Your letter was so heavenly my darling, darling Barbara. I can't tell you how grateful I am; that- because I know how seldom you write to anyone. But I loved every syllable. And you told me about all you've done, and it made me so happy and excited and- unforgotten. I keep fearing that I suppose because one does- so far away.... Now I shall tell all the news from here, and then answer the things in your letter. First, I am on the lap of a fear ul cold, the result of an attack of grippe which began just a month ago-and I've finally had to take injections in which I don't believe but preposterously enough after the first one I began to improve. However, the doctor advices the most strenuous exercise, so I had a two our riding lesson this morning again and am tring to learn to post which I fear I never shall, however it is beginning to be fun. My vitality seems to be very low, I can't think why, but I m supposed to be building it up. And the sleeping problem is a bore again for ten days ago a new baby arrived upstairs, and they are breaking it in so to speak and letting it cry at night until it s had enough and decides to go back to sleep/ Now if I hadn't gone about so many years helping about childre being brought up properly, and being disciplined in social habits from the first, I should complain bitterly to the landlord. As it is, I have to be silent and suffer for the sake of a better race in the future.

Last night we went to Mrs Webb farewell cocktail party/ Mr Webb will look you up later in Paris, if you re there, It is their house we have/ He is the no two man of the Sassoons out here, and evidently quite a person in the community/ He was once a comedian on the english stage, speaking of transitions- and looks and acts like one: "He has a passion for pretty young girls, and thinks he s very witty/ His wife is american, she s rather grand, white-haired white skin- pink cheeks, handsome in a sort of upper Madison kind of way- and very very kind and very very dumb and very very nice to be around. I must say I cant think where she got the taste to do her house, you d never suspect it to look at her, but the house IS charming. There we met the Arnolds, one is pres of the Municipal council, the other the no 1 Sassoon man, and our neighbor/ You ll like him: He has a son at Oxford and a very fat wife; Also an enchanting daughter of 12 Deedee, who has become great friends with me already. Mr Arnold ds supposed to be a little intrigued with me, but Im not supposed to know that/ We are dining with them and a lot of other people tonig t at Cathay house. Oh do you know about Cathay House, It s the new office building and hotel across from the Palace; The office part is called Sassoon House, that s the part in which Cheste s office are, and the rest is the Cathay, the new hotel which is supposed to beteribby 'swell' as "shanghai goes, and has a chef that cant be beat in the orient. quoting the press agent. There was also a Mrs Wilson who helped decoated Cathay house- and I think personally she d have done better to let it alone. Also a charming Mr and Mrs Lloyd a young britishers whom lliked, also Mr Hager who will sweep before you but dont let him, he s a nuisance and all the men hate him... Mrs "rady; my pet out here was there too,she is frightfully interested in you and cant wait to see you: She s terribly good looking, very vain, has unassailable taste and the lovliest house in Shanghai I should say- an "rish husband, nice also but eclipsed by her, and if she hasn't lovers I have the feeling she ought- She has a loy ly speaking voice, is intelligent on the most unexpected things and lets you down altogether in the most surprising moments. But of the people who live here she s the only one whointe ests me.

"ve met an enchanting person of 24, Jacqueline Macondray, who knows your aunt helene, her husband is in the navy and they ve been

fact he'd love you dearely if he ever got to know you; Did I tell you he DID give up his job, and is going to NY with the part of his salary the company keeps back each year-- and get his book published and take along two new ones that he's done since; I pray that he'll be successful-- surely surely he ought: And G: if he would, could help him so terribly much/ G isn't very kindly about young Britishers but he'd like Hugh if he knew him better. So I've sent Hugh letters to people in NY who can help him and am crossing my fingers, for if things don't go right with him I shall be utterly wretched and feel guilty as long as I live/ 't is what I hoped he'd do, but never never dramed he would-- and now that he has I'm terrified: He's going via Suez, as he can't afford to go me via Shanghai, which is too bad for I could have given him so much good advice, however it probably would have done no good, so I'll put my faith in the gods again and wait/

Poor Beth, what a miserable time. ?? And Buurton, he does sound like a new novel; just out. How nice that he came just when everybody vanished, he must have been too funny with Daggie/ 'er friend Segovia is playing here to morrow and is coming to us for tea. I 'see by the 'erald' that Daggie and Mutz are in Cannes. Have you read a horrible book called American colony? by Chas Brackett all about what goes on at Antibes: Marcella Gump by the way sounds like the daughter of the comic strip. Oh Barbara I must tell you a half way naughty story. About the old lady who lived in the shoe and had so many children because she didn't know what to do. 'Francis might like it...

Chester by the way is intrigued with the idea of your Leda and asked lots of questions that I couldn't answer because you gave no description. It sounds striking and great fun.

And you got my letter thanking you for the books by now/ I was precipitous in wiring for them, since we didn't get a unfurnished house after all-- but we might have, and then I'd have been at my wits end. They are great fun however, and will stand me in good stead when we do get a house, directly we return from leave. I wonder what happened to Ben? The rogue. I shall write him and scold.

I fancy you are back and the boys with you: Or else that you've remained in Scotland and given them your house till you return; I hope really you're all together. It makes me feel happy and safe both for mysef and for all of you to have youtogether. I think I couldn't bear it if anything happened to any of you, you're my great world-- and you're all being togther is the next best thing to see of you being with me or I with you/ I am by the way wearing today, that black callot dress with the gold trimming, the jagged s calloped skirt, Chester adores it--as a matter of fact dearest I have had such success with your things!! I'm trying now to think of a new evening frock- Chester likes only the long ones-and the two chinese ones I have to hold until we get in the house. I rather thinking of taking out the embroidery and making some Keos shawl into me. Some of my clothes Chester doesn't like, and I simply can't put them on again. He really likes best the laced up the front ones, and the same simple ones at night, long skirt and tight bodice. I might have a lovely ruby red velvet one, with gold banding. I hope you get your cigarette case. But it won't be in time for your birthday alas. Oh, I told, well it won't matter though for you ought to have it by now.

8170 Laurel View Dr

Darling Bobby;

No more had we got back, than I had to go to the Doctor
again- (I don't believe I told you I'd been to several in NY, about an
old thing that kept recurring. It got worse, so finally- two weeks ago,
they took me to the hospital and took out the upper uterus. I got back
home yesterday and this is my first sitting up out of bed task. I'm
told I'll be a new woman in about six months,-- but I must say- I keep
thinking rather wryly that what I consider a 'new' product, is decidedly
more of a complete job than I console myself with being. Having said so
often- nothing else can EVER happen- I think from now on I'll keep my
counsel and not temptt he gods.

In the hospital I thought of you so so frequently. I went
back to our first days- went through all the odd and strange things-
do you POSSIBLY remember the night at the studio when Dorothy Valantiere
made such a scene because Virginia came into M's studio, from Olga's
and D. accused me of trying to usurp you and Va- my 'rich friends' for
myself, in order to exploit you for the purposes of certain friends-
and how George Antheil later made the same accusation- naming Ford Madox
Ford as the one who was to be the chief benefactor of your joint bounty.
Isn't it all very strange and unbelievable now. Of course, between the
quixotism of you and Va- I sit here today - and never cease to wonder
at the mysterious links that add people to people- and remove from us
the little epistolic bravado we might dare to have about making our own
fates. Of all the things and people in NY-- my day with you was
the sweetest and most memorable. I wish to God I knew how to describe you,
as you affected me. That kind of unreality you've always had was still
there- the same gentleness and softness, (coming out of a root as tough
as steel) the intactness you have- the tenderness and love that
controlled pride in the baby- (had it been an one else I should have said
now and then you smirked, as I have often done about R M- but YOU
COULDN't smirk)- I wish I knew how to tell you- I tried so ineffectually
to tell M- but kept ending with something like- a sense and feeling of
harmony came from you that one almost never finds. I loved you so
dearly that day that I wondered it wasn't audiible. I wanted to tell you
so but hoped you felt it, for there was no possible way to say it. Any
way dear Bobby-- delinquent as I have been about writing a lot and all
that- please please tell me some time that you DO know what a deep
and sweet richness you added to my life...

That's just about all. . .

'Life' isn't very happy/ There isn't any place I can
grasp, to look at it, or query it-- Chester is more evasive and
removed than ever-- we live as imp rsonally as people could- as soon as
I feel well enough, I shall try, once at least- to ask him again if he
can tell me what HE thinks is wrong-- what could be done to change it.
It was bad luck to get ill again, so soon after he came back- but I have
been pretty thoroughly conditioned to that particular situation, and this
time was quite unaffected by his fleeing to Palm Springs as soon as I had
to tell him the news. . . I dare say its all an interesting 'plot'- but
I'd prayed somehow my ( 'Zombie' existence might come to a finish when he
returned this time-- that some miracle might have happened, - but of
course there is no miracle but facing things, and you can only try it
for yourself. THAT'S is the pattern at the moment.

R M is still on Dragon Seed and will go to join her
angelic husband at Camp Carson directly the picture is done. DO give my
love to Beth if you write her and if ever you can write to Virginia and
Marous- my love to them as well. This about ends my day's enterprise,
so- back to bed. . . As always dear Bobby- my enduring love,

Nov '56

Y nearest Bobby;

So much to tell- so little time. But the good news first. RM, took a cure, has not only recovered, but has been reborn. It is the most wonderful, beautiful, heroic thing I've ever witnessed, and I, and all her friends, are glowing with joy. I haven't time now to tell you all, but one night she determined it was suicide or try to get well. She went, without letting me know- to the san. (for alcoholics) run by an MD who is our friend. She got the whole thing, the drying out, the shots, the building up- and the antiseptic, which she is still taking, and-- amazingly, has accepted A A as well. F. was in Colo with her father while this happened, and when RM told her, (on her return). F said "Oh Mommy this is the happiest day since I was born!"--The transformation is so astonishing that it scarcely seems believable. That starry light is back in her eyes, her skin is clear, she is full of energy, has lost most of her obvious fears- she will go places, see people, went back to the gym-gay and baudy and so so bright, as she was before.. She then decided to move away from the Valley which has been the scene of so much misery, and in no time,--after she made a couple of trips down to Laguna and found a place- we got her packed, and off, last Thursday. I phoned her at night and she said she was sitting on her little terrace, right over the ocean, feeling so serene, happy, and alive. 'I don't even miss a beau' she said- its so wonderful to be alive again... F. adores it too, and so, it looks as if there were miracles after all, and this is one. It begab last Aug. but I did not want to say much until I saw whether she might elapse. er Dr. says she is the most triumphant patient he's ever had- and feels sure she will never regress, and its the only patients of whom he's ever said that. I nt it wonderful Bobby- I know how you rejoice. More if this later, I've got to hurry, as I brought trailer loads of stuff from her place over here to keep and both the house and garage are alr ady splitting, and the gardner will be here any minute to help me try to repack, re arrange everything in the garage so that I can get the car back in...

As I always live so much beyond my income, I'm going to ask if its humanly possible to get a record from you on the paintings, so that I can take them off my tax, next month. It will help me a lot- as I have no deductions whatso ever- and I'd be terribly grateful if it could be done for this year-- IF possible. Has it come off yet, or what HAS happened. DO let me know.

I talked to Adrian today who said he'd seen Monie, who was full of achievements, and a little-- well, as Adrian put it-- not quite with you.. He thought it was because he was so absorbed in whatever he was doing at the time, that he was present in the flesh only- and his fantasy was off elsewhere. They've taken a tiny pent house in NY for 3 years, as they had such an inspiring visit this time, -- really I love them for that kind of a adventuresomeness they have- things so many people COULD do, and dont- and they CAN and DO.

I hear him tooting- so I must dash down. Fondest love as always darling Bobby- and love to everyone, and special embraces as well for your angelic self.

9657 Heather rd.
Monday night.

Darling darling Bobby;

You must know by now that it was only
the other day that I heard about your illness. I wanted to pick
up the phone and call you at once, and then had the 'sober second
thought'-realizing that I was extremely agitated and shocked,
and that, as it had happened so long ago now, and knowing your
way of quiet acceptance, I held back-to wait until I too
had assimilated and felt familiar with the fact. It is not
'funny' except in the sense that we always misuse the word, but
for several years, I'd been anticipating that I was the one who
would be receiving this -yellow light signal- at any moment.
Then YOU, of all people! ...yet so many people I know have had
the same warning, that it isn't as startling as it would have been
years ago, -except when it happens to someone so near, so dear,
so precious as you. Glenway says that you took it magnificently,
and that, at this time, you are returning to part of your
former activities...So, I shant stress it dearest Barbara,
beyond saying that I shall hold all the good thoughts, which I
do believe help- and love for you.

G. says a new farm has been found, but what
a terrible chore it all must be. To be uprooted from one country
to another cant be half as bad as being uprooted from one valley
to the next! It's till have no idea WHY it was done-and I'm
curious.

I thought of the art show this last weekend
with some chagrin, as I'd done nothing-but its been another
trying few months, and I put off anything I'm not actually
obliged to do. Its bad again with RM, and it seems as if John
will ask for custody before very long, -perhaps he should have
done this long ago, but we always figured on the risk- the risk
of hurting Feather before she herself was ready for it, and the
risk of driving RM to further disaster again. John however, just
got married. When I heard of it, my first thought, is she someone
who will be good for Feather. "when I heard who she was my heart
sank- but I can now say, quite joyfully, that having met her I am
delighted. She is a modest, very pleased, bright girl, about 32
doesn't drink or smoke('), and decent in every way I believe. The
trepidation I felt was when I realized who she was. Does the name
Betty Ford mean anything? ...She was an American teacher-who want
to Mexico for a visit, became enamoured of bull fighting, and
stayed four years to become the top lady bull fighter. Having
achieved that, she stopped. She'd just come here to B.H. and John
met her-he, being obsessed with bull fighting (he goes to Tiajuana
every week end during the season) MM fell instantly in love-(this
is all I dare say in the Freudian realms that I am unable to follow)
and- they got married.. John's Mother said to me; 'Icióre to my
friends in Colorado, but I confess, I skipped the bull fighting
part.'.. John, however, when he told his friends-announced; 'I am
just got married! She's a bull fighter!'.. So??? She and Feather
seem to have got on nicely. I was touched, -when they came
here to my house to have Betty and Feather meet-of course it
was a bit awkward, and I talked a mile a minute to prevent any
possible deadly pauses-(Aware that F. was glowering at me) and
when F. saw them off at the door, feeling she had to say the
right thing, she said very primly 'Goodbye Betty. I was very pleased
to have met you!'.. Then she turned to me to say I had embarrassed
her terribly during the visit. I said, well neither she nor John

had helped out, one could not expect Betty to take over, as she was on 'inspection', so I felt I had to keep chattering. Feather said, 'But Dena, did you HAVE to bring in Even China? Oh Ohm, the critical young...

Namara has been out here for ten days, I've seen her a few times, and confess she continues to enchant me. (Not every day she co-exists, -too heady are past- but she is so comic and uninhibited, and still so very beautiful. I don't suppose you know the Chinese Book of Changes (introduction by Jung)- actually called the I-Ching. An oracular book - which, to my continual astonishment, always makes a -direct hit. My friend esi Presnell who has studied it for years and reads it amazingly well for a Westerner, did it for Namara, and I nearly burst with excitement at its exactness, for her situation. If for no other reason that the great wisdom it contains, you might get it, unless you have it, and keep it by your bedside, or wherever you read the most, and just open it, and read whatever is there. I can't promise you'll find it rewarding, but I'd almost chance it...

How little I know of you anymore. I realized it so deeply as I read G's last letter- telling of all the large family, and all the problems. He mentioned- I suppose children of stepsisters and brothers, nieces and nephews, of whom I'd never heard. Our lives do fan out- and its luck if we can hold to the focal point, never being able to follow all the spreading leads.

David, you may have heard, had a dreadful illness, some thing I can't quite explain as he gave it no actual name, but it was an affliction of a nerve in his face or head, that drove him almost mad with torment, -he was in hospital many weeks, and then was left with a temporary paralysis, which has since disappeared. He and Helen are now in Iran or Pakistan, -I forget the schedule, but I think they ought to be back in another fortnight.

How I should love to come East, and have another visit with you. As the Kollsmans have sublet their Waldorf apartment, and are here most of the time now, I've no chance of being invited to them again, and I'm too poor to come otherwise. I don't actually mind being 'poor'- I DO mind having to scorge around all the time, and pay off driblets of debts, month by month, mostly I suppose because I hate book keeping and figures- and then I never stop minding that I can't 'do' things for people. Above all, I've found that having extra money saves the spirit, AND the flesh too- for if you can help people materially, most of them infinitely prefer that to having one give of himself, as they say. And I confess, there isn't as much of me as there once was- an admission it took me long to make-so I run short of emotion and vitality, and HATE myself for it! But is there no possible chance, again, that you might come out here? The long distance communications of love, I find, can be stretched diabolically thin-no matter what the metaphysicians say.

So, darling dearest Barbara- I love you and think of you, and am concerned about you, so do, yourself, or have some one send me a note now and then to say that you are again blooming.. Blessings, blessings,

from your

I managed to get my sister in Pasadena and ask her to come and stay with me at hospital, while we waited, through that frightful night. At about 9 the next morning she first stirred, and then slowly began to show signs of life, after about 45 hours. I shant go into the details, or why she was not sent to hospital, its all too grewsome, but anyway, by a miracle, she came out. Before she was discharged, the doctor told her she had almost no liver left, and would be able to have a good life for as reasonable a time as most people, IF she stopped drinking, and lived a wholesome life. .. I stayed for 5 days after she was brought home, and then came back, - but it was something, or several things, that happe ed while I was there that brought my procrastination to an end, though I didn't know it then. When I got home, I went to see Adela Rogers St John, who has been through all there is to experience, in alcoholics, both for herself, and her daughter, just RM's age, who has now been in A A for 8 years, and sober all that time, and an ardent worker in A A. I began going to A A meetings as well, and had long talks with dear Dr Cohen, at UCL A-, the analyst who supervised the LSD tests I had. Talking with them, I knew I'd arrived at the place where I COULD keep out. It's been difficult because of Feather - that's where I've always been snared - for, by withdrawing from RM, I removed myself from F, and perhaps the only normal contact the child has with a reasonably normal world. (Its funny perhaps to think of myself as 'normal' - but I am, in comparison I've known for long that by cushioning RM, indulging her giving things, doing things, I only postponed the necessity for her to assume some responsibility - but I never quite made it - because of F. I'd thought when I bought them the house that it MUST be beneficial - to have shelter, security - an interest, an occupation - but that was error as well. I'm glad I got it, and I!' glad they have a place to live, but its done none of the things I'd deluded myself into hoping it would. I'll fly to her at any time there is real trouble, but other wise, I'm keeping out. She's wanted me not to interfere with her life - or rather, with her conduct I suppose - but on the other hand, she has either expected, or even exacted endless financial help from me, and it began to feel like taxation without representation, as I put it. I'd been hoping to 'salvage' F. "ell, I have neither moral nor legal authority, her father simply wont take the responsibility, so now, I'm left with saying prayers that F' will grow up to be a strong self reliant brave woman, BECAUSE of what she has been through, and perhaps it may succeed. She has a protective

Barbara dearest;

I cut this out of the paper today- thinking it might be of oblique interest to you.

Its curious, the less we see each other, the less one can write. I think of you so often, I even make speeches to you, and carry on imaginary phone calls-but what I yearn for is to look at your beautiful face and hear your soft beguiling voice. Monroe wrote that you are happily involved in the Art museum- which is the right place I'm sure, and what a joy that must be. I've been wondering, since reading about the fiasco of Mr. Rockefeller in 30. America, how Monroe came out in it all. What a monstrous world we are in. And Glenway is working on Catherine Anne's letters- is she better by the way-I wonder because I too have that miserable affliction, emphasisma,- along with other annoying ailments, which I RESENT.

The news- whether good or not remains to be seen, is that Feather is planning to get married in August. "e's and 'ist- and I doubt that, without great luck, he'll be much of a provider- but they are lyrically happy, and he is a GOOD boy-unpretentious-sweet and considerate,- eager, and I believe quite gifted. F. was enraptured with the Isadora film- wh ch I found disappointing-(Oh, the t terrible endless Russian sequence!) and straight off, she wanted to have a Grecian robe.. Its been a bad year. My darling niece, Terry and her husband Larry(the ones who began the International Communications Foundation-)were both killed in an airplane accident, and - I loved her so dearly- and have not been able to accomodate myself to it. And just a fortnight ago, my cousin "axine,in N Y(sister of 'eatrice Tobey) fell and broke her hip, badly- and a few days after the operation died of an embolism. Many other woes too- my karma seems to have gathered together to make one fiendish year-but isn't it amazing how we live through everything-everything. But the accumulation, all so close together, congealed me, and really- its only the past week that I feel I'm beginning to come out of the numbness.

Oh, what a lot of complaints. Dave called me last Sunday- I'd been writing him that I was working assiduously at trying to not only understand, but have real rapport with the young-- he said he had realized his present projects were still being based on the original T V A techniques- and he revised his whole organization and has put in a group of under 30 young men, which seems to have vivified everything. I don't suppose you heard the interview Mr Newman did with him some weeks ago, on the anti missile defence program- Dave is unalterably against it-and it was superb.

Terry and Larry left two children, 10 and 12, and my sister and I took turns for weeks looking after them, until guardians were found. There is quite a large fortune involved- I doubt you knew that Doubleday bought them out for millions- keeping Larry on as advisor, and as the children had had unusual backgrounds-round the world six times and a great deal of contact with people of many countries-it was not too easy to find the right kind of guardians. T. and L. had, after many problems, achieved the goal they were after, so it was doubly sad that they did not live to enjoy the f ruition of their dream.. Ah me.

CHRISTY FOX

Sultan Is
a Girl's
Best Friend

In a city (Our Town)
where celebrities are so
commonplace that even
the kid next door hardly
turns around to look,
maybe the Sultan of Mor-
occo might do the trick.

Except the Sultan is not
a person—it just happens
to be a diamond that
weighs 35.67 carats and is
set in a ring with two
baguette diamonds gua-
ranteed to make your paw
drop as much as Jackie
O's.

This one is from the
collection of the late Mrs.
Paul I. Fagan (the former
Mrs. Charles Templeton
Crocker of San Francisco)
and S.F. is where it is
unless its new owner
Laykin brings it down our
way for a look-see. And
well they might. Lots of
Southern Californians will
remember Mrs. Fagan as
the owner of that dreamy
Hana Maui Hotel on the
Hawaiian island of Maui.
When you say the Sultan
of Morocco, you are in the
Hope diamond league.

Barbara my dearest dear;

I'm sure I've begun to write you a hundred times.
"Why don't I ever finish? It's as if everything I want to say becomes shriveled and I feel self conscious, and seem to reach out for something that eludes me. Now and again I think I'll phone you- then decide its rather pointless- you might not be there- you might have guests, you may be busy,- you may not feel constraint, as I do. I tried to phone eather in 'eneva, for instance, after her baby came, and all I could say was-how are you- have you named the baby- who does he resemble, are you being taken care of- and it cost $22.00!! I've just heard one can now dial directly to Paris. Though I've no one there I'd talk to, unless it were Lizica...

I'm enclosing a few things I found, and
thought might interest you. Monroe asked if I'd send on the bits
I wrote down, years ago, about Virginia, Marius, you- but I thought it
best to ask you first. He'd return them, but he said they'd be interested
to see. Glancing over them, there is so much I'd neverhave recalled
unless I'd put it down at that time. "Where is Virginia now- what does
she 'do'.. Monroe sent me a fascinating clipping about her son and his
fiancée - but what of Anna Marie, wasn't that her name, the beautiful
dark girl I met at the wedding? I loved her. "e also told me of your
art project, which delighted me.

My own life seems so aimless. I tell myself
its a matter of health- well knowing that isn't it. The only easy
thing seems procrastination- which I do with ferocious energy. Perhaps
its that I've made no immediate life for myself, - well, did I ever?
"What did I do yesterday? I can't recall. "What did I do thirty years ago-
that I can recount to the last eyelash. Now and again I visit a friend
who's surrounded by family, or friends 'popping in'- and it suddenly

darling brother are gone, and just a month ago, my only other niece
died of cancer, which had been undetected. It filled me with rage- she
was so vivid, so full of hopes and dreams, beautiful, brilliant, and
in a week, she was gone. Dont look for answers, I keep telling myself,
there are none. Accept, and be content.

How dismal I sound. Though not inherently really. One great
joy is the garden- I wish you could see it- its a jungle-cup of gold,
bougenvellea(SP?) lilies, violets, azelas, cymbidiums(I have g reat
luck with them)- camelias, iris, every possible kind of flowering
succulents, (I have noreal soil, and succulents thrive in the gravel)
trumpet flowers, chinese tulips and magnolia- almost all in bloom now.
emons, oranges, peach, avacado, even an herb garden. All a joy
as well as a misery at times for the deer comes down from the hill
above and over night- everything is stripped!

Its all been a bit comic about Feather. She was with me so
much of her young life, -then when she went to Occidental and USC, -
I8d see her mostly when she needed something, or was in trouble. She
was in quite a bit of trouble for a couple of years- and then she
fell in love and married Lawrence. I was either dodging or cringing
most of the time, not yet having been able to accomdate myself to the
enormous changes. Lawrence's name was Greenberg. They changed it to
Greeneye. They were married here in the garden, which was all
decorated by their friends, with streamers, and ornaments and
lanterns, and almost everyone under 35 was barefoot, and such a
variety of costumes you've never seen. Lawrence made a woodcut for
the announcement, two nude dancing figures. F. made their wedding
clothes,-tie dyed, hers a quite lovely robe, his trousers and smock
also tie dyed- the garden was full of strange creatures I8d never seen
before and have never seen since either- but it was happy and gay.

Their baby is named Daja! They are now about to leave pain and-
having traded in their car for a van, which they equipped for sleeping,
cooking and living in- they are setting out for Geneva to leave things
with friends, while they roam around, hunting for another village

in which to settle for a time, on their small income. I" a way I am pleased they are not here, for Los "ngeles has become a frightening place, and in Europe, they are living like a couple of happy and really very pure, gypsies. health food, loving thoughts, no animosities, nolooking backward, its all another world, but I think, I THINK its good. I decided to sell quite afew of my curios etc, to help them out- figuring that Feather will inherit what I have anyway, and it will mean much more now than after I'm gone.

Did you by chance see the documentary on Perenson, not long ago? It was delightful, and reminded me of the one time I saw him, when Barbara Sessions(ROger's first wife) tookme with her to visit him. You may recall she went from Paris for three days each week, to Florence, to help with making a new catalogue of his library. She and Glenway had a friendship for a time-¹ remember he used to tell me that she was much more HIS kind of person than mine- but perhaps we each drew on different aspects of her. "hen she and Roger separated, she went into a frightening period, an amnesia of sorts, for six months, and still cannot recall anything about the years in Paris. She is back there now, and hopes it may return among the old associations.

What about Sandy? Every now and then I remember her. And Beth? And Burton, is he still in California? How many people you've cared for in your life....

In your art project, do you do anything about Chinese art? if so, and it would mean anything to you, I could give you a note to Mrs. Kenneth Chen, at Princeton. She was head of the Oriental Library here at U.C.L.A for years- (and made me head her committee of the Friends) and she married last year and will be in Princeton for a time, though later I think they will both come back to U C L A. She is extremely cultured,-a bit shy,-her knowledge is stupendous. I8d collected quite a large Chinese library of my own over the years, and contributed most of them to her finally, feeling pleasant about the fact that they would be a vailable to many people, instead of only to myself.

"the human mind
is evolving all the time;
what we teach
is how to develop the mind
quickly to be everlastingly happy."

# Tibetan
Buddhist Meditation Course

Conducted by

Lama Thubten Yeshe

SPIRITUAL HEADS

Lama Thubten Yeshe was born near Lhasa, Tibet, nearly forty years ago, and entered the Great Monastery of Sera College in Lhasa at the age of six. He progressed rapidly through the strenuous academic and meditational studies to the level of "Geshe", Doctor of Divinity, at the age of twenty-five. When the Chinese invaded Tibet in 1959, he escaped to India, where he settled for eight years with the refugee monks and Lamas of Sera College. During that time a young incarnate Lama, Thubten Zopa, was given into his care and tutorship.

Lama Thubten Zopa Rinpoche is twenty-eight and was born in Thami in the Sherpa region of Nepal. He was known as the Lawudo Lama in his previous life, and again holds this name. At the age of six, he was sent to Tibet for his religious training. At the age of twelve he was ordained at Dhomo Monastery. In 1959 he also escaped to India where for 8 years he studied with the monks and Lamas of Sera College, and then became the disciple of Lama Yeshe.

Lama Thubten Zopa Rinpoche

### If interested, contact

Thubten Angmo (American Buddhist nun)
9657 Heather Road
Beverly Hills, California 90210
(213) 278-8380 or 276-6770

### Dates

July 1 to July 22 (three weeks)

July 1 to July 14 (two weeks)

### Place

Lake Arrowhead, California

### Cost

There is no charge for the Dharma Teachings themselves.

3 week stay $250.00

2 week stay $200.00

Advance deposit, $30.00

Please make checks payable to
Nepalese Mahayana Gompa Centre, Inc.

Saturday.

Dear dear Barbara;

I'm sure you will think this
utter nonsense, but I have a strong persuasion
that there are NO accidents- did I get that from
the I CHING I wonder- at any rate, no sooner than
I8d put the letter to you in the post box, than I
got a call from N.Y. from David. "e calls me
about once a mnth or so, and its one of the joys
of my life. Anyway, he said he'd seen my
beautiful and distinguished friend, Barbara Wes-
cott, and invited her to his garden party, and
he said'I DO so hope she will come.!! And so
do I. He had recently got back from Iran, and
a dreadful thing happened. e has rather taken over
two young people, the step children of his son
David Jr,- who has been living in Florence for
some years. Mike and Pat hated Italy, so Dave
had them come over and puts them up in a cottage
at Martha'sSV-neyard, next to his own house. They
don't want 'jps'- but when they run out of money
or want something very much, they go out and do
a chore here or there, so they can get what
they want.Dave and I have often talked about
the difficulty of those of us in our generation, to
accomodate ourselves to the laissez faire concepts
of the young(I have it with Feather and her husband)
but he does love them, and finds much in them
that rewards him. Anyway, Mike was driving home
from somewhere with friends, ran into a tree, and
one of the lads was killed, and Mike of course,
arrested.. that perplexes me is this- they all
consider themselves 'drop outs'- but the moment
they get into trouble, they expect salvation from
their elders. Well, we've lived through many
other trials, I'm sure we'll survive these- but
an imbalance does remain in our hearts.

I'm not sure you've ever met
"elen, "ave's wife- who is an almost Victorian
 creature in some ways- quite without personality
 it seems to me, and also without warmth- though
 she's gone through all the difficulties

RATINGS
(MOODY'S)

<table><thead><tr><th>(S&P)</th><th>AMOUNT</th><th>DESCRIPTION</th><th>COUPON</th><th>MATURITY</th><th>PRICE</th><th>YIELD TO MATURITY</th><th>CURRENT YIELD</th></tr></thead><tbody><tr><td colspan="8" style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;">LONG TERM</td></tr><tr><td>Aaa-Aaa</td><td>$100,000</td><td>Southern Bell Tel.</td><td>8 1/4%</td><td>04/15/16c</td><td>$ 99 1/2</td><td>8.29%</td><td>8.29%</td></tr><tr><td>Aaa-Aaa</td><td>100,000</td><td>Southwest Bell Tel.</td><td>9 1/4%</td><td>01/15/15c</td><td>107 1/8</td><td>8.61%</td><td>8.64%</td></tr><tr><td>Aa-Aa</td><td>50,000</td><td>Weyenhauser</td><td>8 5/8%</td><td>10/01/00c</td><td>102 1/4</td><td>8.40%</td><td>8.44%</td></tr><tr><td>Aa-Aa</td><td>50,000</td><td>Southern Calif. Ed.</td><td>8 1/4%</td><td>02/01/99c</td><td>97</td><td>8.55%</td><td>8.51%</td></tr><tr><td>Aa-A</td><td>100,000</td><td>New England Power Co.</td><td>10 7/8%</td><td>03/01/05c</td><td>112 1/2</td><td>9.59%</td><td>9.67%</td></tr><tr><td>Aa-A</td><td>15,000</td><td>Atlantic City El.</td><td>8%</td><td>05/01/01c</td><td>92 1/2</td><td>8.75%</td><td>8.65%</td></tr><tr><td>A-A</td><td>50,000</td><td>N. L. Indus.</td><td>9 3/8%</td><td>07/01/00c</td><td>104 3/4</td><td>8.89%</td><td>8.95%</td></tr><tr><td>A-A</td><td>100,000</td><td>Rochester G & E</td><td>9 1/4%</td><td>06/15/06c</td><td>103 1/4</td><td>8.93%</td><td>8.96%</td></tr><tr><td>A-A</td><td>50,000</td><td>Ohio Edison</td><td>9 1/2%</td><td>07/01/06c</td><td>103 1/2</td><td>9.15%</td><td>9.18%</td></tr><tr><td>Baa-BBB</td><td>75,000</td><td>Jersey Central P & L</td><td>9 5/8%</td><td>02/01/06c</td><td>102 1/2</td><td>9.37%</td><td>9.39%</td></tr><tr><td>Baa-BBB</td><td>50,000</td><td>Ohio Power</td><td>10%</td><td>05/01/06c</td><td>102</td><td>9.79%</td><td>9.80%</td></tr><tr><td colspan="8" style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;">SMALL AMOUNTS</td></tr><tr><td>Aa-F*</td><td>$1,000</td><td>First National State</td><td>7.20%</td><td>06/01/79c</td><td>$ 98 1/4</td><td>7.91%</td><td>7.33%</td></tr><tr><td>A-A</td><td>2,000</td><td>Southern Natural Gas</td><td>6 7/8%</td><td>04/01/79c</td><td>98 1/2</td><td>7.52%</td><td>6.98%</td></tr><tr><td>Aaa-Aaa</td><td>5,000</td><td>Ohio Bell Tel.</td><td>6 3/8%</td><td>10/01/78c</td><td>98 1/2</td><td>7.15%</td><td>6.47%</td></tr><tr><td>Baa-BBB</td><td>4,000</td><td>Jersey Central P & L</td><td>10 1/4%</td><td>07/01/85c</td><td>106 1/2</td><td>9.16%</td><td>9.62%</td></tr><tr><td>A-A</td><td>2,000</td><td>Narragansett El.</td><td>10 1/2%</td><td>08/01/80c</td><td>106 7/8</td><td>8.41%</td><td>9.83%</td></tr><tr><td>A-A</td><td>4,000</td><td>Cities Service</td><td>7%</td><td>01/15/78c</td><td>100</td><td>7.00%</td><td>7.00%</td></tr><tr><td>Aa-Aa+</td><td>5,000</td><td>Citizens Util.</td><td>8.30%</td><td>03/01/85c</td><td>101 1/2</td><td>8.05%</td><td>8.17%</td></tr><tr><td>A-A</td><td>5,000</td><td>Ohio Edison</td><td>8 1/4%</td><td>09/01/99c</td><td>94</td><td>8.87%</td><td>8.78%</td></tr><tr><td>Aa-Aa</td><td>5,000</td><td>Houston L & P</td><td>8 3/4%</td><td>03/01/05</td><td>100 1/4</td><td>8.73%</td><td>8.73%</td></tr><tr><td>Baa-BBB</td><td>5,000</td><td>Georgia Pwr.</td><td>6 1/2%</td><td>09/01/97</td><td>76 5/8</td><td>9.00%</td><td>8.49%</td></tr><tr><td>Baa-BBB</td><td>5,000</td><td>Jersey Central P & L</td><td>6 1/8%</td><td>08/01/96</td><td>77 3/8</td><td>8.50%</td><td>7.92%</td></tr></tbody></table>

F* - Fitch Rating

c - Callable

August 23, 1976

John J. Ryan & Co.

INVESTMENT BANKERS - SINCE 1946

80 Main Street, West Orange, N.J. 07052 / N.J. (201) 325-3000 • N.Y. (212) 349-6080

NEW JERSEY BANK STOCKS

John J. Ryan & Co. maintains a continuing interest in the financial well-being of New Jersey's banking industry. We have reported its condition from the euphoric days of 1969, the birth of the holding companies and liberalized branching and merger acts, to the gloom and doom period in 1975 and early 1976 when declining earnings and loan losses were topical.

New Jersey bank stocks are still feeling the effects of the latter period and generally are selling at levels considerably below their historic highs, book values, etc., while dividend yields obtainable from the shares of the major banks and holding companies are 8% plus, versus 1969's average of less than 5%.

We made the following comments in our latest research report, NEW JERSEY BANKING - SIX MONTH REVIEW:

"SECOND HALF EXPECTATIONS - The outlook for the second half of the year calls for significant improvement with a majority of the LBG members (bank stocks listed on the New York Stock Exchange or trading in NASDAQ) expected to achieve earnings exceeding their first half totals and those of the last half of 1975. At the present time, half of the LBG are projected to earn more for the full year than in 1975.

"Several major trends lead to this conclusion. Favorable monetary and fiscal policy should enable the current economic recovery to continue through most of 1977. This should result in renewed commercial loan demand, which in turn should provide a more favorable interest rate structure for bank earnings. Although not supported by current trends, a recent poll of bankers indicated an expected 8% prime rate by year-end.

"Continued economic improvement also should decrease the non-earning assets and reduced rate loan problems afflicting bank earnings. Accordingly, a decline in loan losses also should result. In fact, most LBG members had a higher loan loss provision in the first half of 1976 than actual net losses, although non-earning assets appeared to decline only slightly from year-end 1975 levels.

"Given these conditions, and comparisons against weak quarters in the last half of 1975 and the first half of 1976, LBG quarterly earnings comparisons should average higher both on a prior year and prior quarter basis well into 1977."

THE PRESENT PRICE LEVEL OF NEW JERSEY BANK STOCKS MERITS YOUR CONSIDERATION.

-OVER-

August 23, 1976

These securities are offered subject to prior sale or change in price.
Although the accuracy of the information contained herein is not guaranteed by John J. Ryan & Co.,
such information has been obtained from sources, either official or otherwise, which we regard as reliable.

a quite new desire to have clothes, probably a desperate desire to buck myself up that way, since I haven't the usual allies. I do feel

a wretch always bothering you about things- but other than you and Ivy I haven't the courage to ask anyone anything, and it means so beastly much to me, these apparently trivial things- much of a nuisance as they are to you.

I wish you'd indicate what you'd like brought from China when we come; If you want ermine or sables for instance do let me get them for you for I can get them perhaps for half of what you'd pay in Paris, beauties. And it would be a great relief to me to do something for you..

The announcements are thrilling and I hope you'll be a huge success, I shall do something bout subscribing to some of them, as soon as I get moved. Sometimes I'm afraid of coming next spring, and think perhaps we'd better not come to Europe at all, I count on it so terribly much that if it all went awry, I don't quite know how I'd get over it-- and one hasn't the right to expect fulfillments of anything except the unknown. I'm afraid even to ask where any of you will be, what if anything we can all do together, -- ;;;; Oh well, I dare say one might as well leave it in gods hands.

Give my love to Virginia, I think of heroically and wonder how it all is going; Now and again I see a clipping about her affairs which look frightfully complicated still- little did we dream that first day when M took us both to see a Renoir show, that it would get caught in such a turmoil. Give my love to Beth too and Sandy-- and tell George I shall write and thank him for the photographs-- as soon as I get moved. I'm writing this at seven in the morning, because I couldn't sleep and was so impatient just lying in bed waiting for breakfast time. Give my fondest love to the boys, and to yourself dearest-

Bobby dearest-- I had letters and parcels and what notes all ready to send you with Elsie, ( you should have heard Bill curse when she heard Elsie wasnt going, it would have appeared that Elsie was going off for the special purpose of taking letters to you from Bill, and when she didn't go, as the child is so mich improved, Bill swofe and spat and what the helled until the skies quivered) anyway-- now there is nothing to do but wait until one has another chance. As for the letter I had for you, it is as well I didn't send it-- I got panicky at the things I d said about B to you -- and was having a thousand spasms of contrition and self reproach -- and now I think, what nonses, I said t when I felt it from the heart-- and you know me well enough and my interference with people I love, to understand and pardon, my trespasses....

Alice wrote Mo nie had a bad cold, well Siberia's fresh air ought to cure that ( I hear groans and hisses, and NOT from you) I never expect to hear anything from Glen now again, now that you two have gone-- and I am very doubtful if I shall hear from you or M unless you decide to return to China-- either, or both... Tomorrow the Pen club is reorganizing, or rather having a reorganization dinner, and I am going, with great hopes which will probably crash the moment I get t there...... I am perturbed about my child, Mother enclosed a letter h she d got from her, quite saucy, pretending she is altogether grownup, well, I suppose she is to herself, I never felt as grown up in all my years as I did at 16 I remember-- I told you I think that C has put his foot down on having her-- I finally got up enough courage to ask him what he felt-- he said he thought is absurd, in these days-- for a young girl to trevel twice to China within a few years, and as pecially now when she d travel twice as long as her visit would be. I said I knew it was a luxury, but one had others also, and if it were only the expen I d get the money-- he said no matt r who did it was out of proportion, - and anyway, said he, her last visit wasnt very successful as I remember-- and I thought, yes, and whose fault was that? but said nothing-- we walked on-- we were out for a walk-- presently he said, I suppose you think I'm very hard hearted. I said no, I don't because I realize it isn't a matter of the heart with you at

SHANGHAI

62 ROUTE DE BOISSEZON

THE CLOISTERS

9657 Heather rd

Beverly Hills.

Barbara dearest;

I have a notation in my book to that you expect to be in San Francisco Oct. 8/ Is that right? DODOX that I am, I simply cannot recall just what you said in regard to it. I remember you said you'd be here for the Routine opening, you HOPED, but the Museum tells me that will not be for some time. So I want to be quite sure. If you are going to S.F. and don't expect to come down here at the same time, maybe I could pop up to S.F. for a day and have a visit with you-unless you will be rushed and so occupied that it would be a nuisance rather than a pleasure for you.

The Chicago BLOCK collection just opened, very handsome, but, perhaps I'm blase, for it seems tome that it got every so much more pre-opening publicity than it deserves-but perhaps that is because Mrs. Block, being the sister of Mrs. Brody, who is a trustee, saw to it. Neither of those two wome n has the remotest semblance of good manners, -somehow one assumes that people who have everything else would also have some graciousness. I asked Monroe to let me know if you got and could use the color prints I'd asked the camera people to send them