September 21, 1935

Dear Mr. Warren,

I think that the changes which you propose are all
to the good. If the story is not set up, I should like to propose
even further changes. The only one of importance occurs on page
eleven in the fourth sentence of the last paragraph. The sentence
reads: " On Easter Sunday the novices felt that they had come out
of the desert and that all of them would take their vows." I offer
this reading: " On Easter Sunday the novices felt that all of them
would take their vows. " Part of the first sentence in the last
paragraph of page three stands as follows: " For a long while Brother
Malloy eluded the efforts of the other two brothers to make him
talk..." I propose the deletion of other two, for it occurs two or
three sentences earlier. I notice that the second to the last
sentence on page nine has the sir of the " ' Deo gratias, sir' "
underlined. Finally, for the sake of euphony, I should substitute
sat for stayed in the third sentence of the opening paragraph:
" They knew of Brother Farrell's peculiarities; how he once appeared
at Mass, for instance, without his cincture, how he would stray off
at the wrong times to his cubicle and read his handbook of Scholastic
theology or The Imitation of Christ, and how, too, he often stayed
all afternoon at his desk..." I think that a colon should stand
after peculiarities instead of a semi-colon.

I am enclosing a revised copy of the story--I have only a carbon--
which incorporates your revisions as well as my own. Possibly you
will find it convenient. I hope that you will let me express more
than a formal appreciation for the interest you have shown in this
story; I feel that its faults, but for your help, would have been
numerous indeed. The novel is coming along slowly. At the moment
I am working on a story with a San Joaquin Valley background. I'd
be very glad to send it on to you.

112 Marguerite Avenue
Mill Valley, California