LIFE

"WHY IS THE PAPER FIVE CENTS TO-DAY, BOY? THE REGULAR PRICE IS ONLY A PENNY."

"AIN'T IT WORTH FOUR CENTS EXTRA, LADY, TO READ THAT THE PRESIDENT HAS GOT SOME SPUNK, AFTER ALL?"

## The Principles of Big Business

**FIRST SURGEON:** Do you think one thousand dollars is too much to charge for taking out Bulger's appendix?

**SECOND SURGEON:** No But why don't you wait? He's making money

so fast that you can get five thousand dollars out of him in six months.

**A**TRUE friendship is not easily broken; but when broken, like most fine and delicate things, it is hardly to be repaired at all.

## Memories

**I** REMEMBER, I remember
Those pleasant sugar pills
Our family doctor fed to me
For all my childhood ills,
His air was most encouraging;
He had a healthy smell;
I loved his simple medicines
Which made me strong and well.

I remember, I remember
That when *my* child took sick,
We sent for seven specialists
To come and see him quick.
Their bills combined were large enough
To make a Croesus wince.
The child, I much regret to state,
Has not been healthy since.

K. L. Roberts.

## Down with the Other Fellow!

**O**UR friends the "Regular" Physicians confess their inability to cure infant paralysis. Meanwhile the Osteopaths seem to be curing about 80 per cent. of their cases. This has led to the belief among evil-minded persons that the "Regular" Physicians are more interested in their own reputations than in victims of the disease. We refuse to believe it. But how they do hate an Osteopath!

## Might Take Mr. Beck

**T**HE papers narrate that Mr. Herbert C. Hoover's labors for Belgian relief have been so heartily appreciated in England that advances have been made to him to become a British subject, and perhaps a peer.

But he is not so disposed, for which we may be thankful, since he figures large in such credit account as Uncle Sam has in England.

But Mr. James M. Beck is remarkably faithful to the Allied cause and very, very dissatisfied with Uncle Sam, and if the good British would care to make a lord of him, why, perhaps we might negotiate.

## Conflicting Duties

**U**NDER our present system of military enlargement two great details of service to the country are at odds. Enlistment and getting married don't go well together.

LIFE

# The Modern Specialist

By James L. Ford

THE family physician of an older day, who went from house to house in a low-hung buggy with an iron weight attached to the hitching-strap, is almost extinct, and has been replaced by his antithesis, the Specialist, whose methods take the form of a drama, given daily or hourly according to his luck, in which he plays the chief part, supported by a company of white-clad assistants, including an attractive and buxom trained nurse in a becoming uniform. The play is enacted in a suite of offices, fitted up like a Childs' restaurant, but lacking the man who cooks griddle cakes in the show window. The performers are expert in team work and have mobile countenances on which all human emotions may be reflected.

It would pay to have Belasco set the scene and train the company in facial expression and other important branches of the healing art.

Every one of the actors must be clean shaven. Whiskers once commanded general confidence as symbols of wisdom and professional skill, but the Hughes campaign has completed the work begun by the safety razor. Horn-rimmed spectacles no longer suggest the intellectual qualities of a Daniel Webster, but have found a wider scope for usefulness in placing owlishness within the reach of the masses.

The play begins with the reception of the patient in the outer office by the trained nurse, who notes on a reference card his name, parentage, age, complexion and the planet under which he was born. As the hum of this conversation penetrates the inner office, the First Assistant lays out his instruments and lights the gas under a pan of water. After the delay of at least ten minutes, required by the ethics of the profession, the patient is admitted and finds the Specialist washing his hands and the First Assistant sterilizing his tools in the boiling fluid.

In serious tones the Specialist questions the patient in regard to his complaint, then asks, "How long has this been going on?" and, "What have you

done for relief?" He does not put these queries because he wishes information, but in order to extract the unwilling admission that the patient has presumed to consult his family physician.

The act thus far has been one of "preparation," as dramatists would call it, for what is to follow. The illusion to the old-fashioned practitioner precipitates the real action which is quick and tense and can be played in pantomime. The Specialist raises his eyes to heaven in despair. Anxiety shows itself on the mobile faces of his staff. No time is to be lost if a useful

human life is to be saved. A thermometer is crammed down the victim's throat while the First Assistant produces a stomach pump and his accomplice turns on the electric light in two parabolic reflectors. As the instrument is withdrawn, it is evident that the temperature is too high or too low, or too something that it ought not to be. Willing hands wheel up an operating table and stretch the patient on his back in such a position that he can see the First Assistant uncoil yards of rubber tubing, the second arrange his instruments of murder on a white enamel table, and the trained nurse,

"My first diagnosis was right," says the great one

434

LIFE

"WHEN GOOD FELLOWS GET TOGETHER"

who has entered unobtrusively, mix a restorative in a graduated medicine glass.

The climactic moment of the little drama has come and the Specialist bends over the patient, who is now in the desired state of abject fright, listens to his breathing and his heart action, and then turns him over on his back while the trained nurse steps forward with the medicine glass and administers its contents with the mute intimation that it will keep him alive a few minutes longer. Then the Specialist listens to his liver and hearkens to his kidneys while the staff hover near with anxious faces.

"My first diagnosis was right," says the great one, addressing his staff and ignoring the patient completely; "it is the liver, but not our end."

Then to the patient, who has scrambled into sitting posture and is wiping the sweat of terror from his brow: "The northern end of your liver is af-

fected. I specialize only in the southern end. I should not care to operate. Have this prescription filled and go to Dr. Lancet on the floor below. In the event of an operation, the St. Bunkem Hospital is the best place. They take

nothing but northerly liver cases."

And with his own fee, a part of Dr. Lancet's plunder and the rake-off on the druggist-store and hospital, the Specialist nas done a good half-hour's work.

COMMUTERS' INSOMNIA

LIFE

435

## Sanctum Talks

So this is my dear little friend, LIFE.
It is, and you happen to be—
The Rev. Jeremiah Stiggins.
And what is your business, Mr. Stiggins?
I am what is known as a Professional Prohibitionist.

A new profession. What do you Professional Prohibitionists do?

We down the Demon Rum.

Who is "we"?

The Anti-Saloon League.

And what is the Anti-Saloon League?

A perfectly solvent corporation with $100,000 capital stock.

And stockholders?

Seven of them.

And a salary list?

A very large one.

And where do you get your money for salaries?

From those who wish to save our boys from the Demon Rum.

From rich persons?

We obtain large sums from rich persons, but we do not disdain the pennies of Sunday-school children nor the widow's mite.

And this pays the salaries. Who get the salaries?

Professional Prohibitionists.

And what do they do?

Frighten Congressmen, members of

the State legislatures and politicians generally.

How do you frighten them?

By telling them we'll throw the Prohibition vote against them. Others we put on our salary list.

And you are successful in this?

Very. We can frighten an officeholder or a politician out of his boots. Alcohol will soon disappear from the face of the earth.

And then everything will be joyful. Do you really think moderate drinking should be made a state's prison ofense?

We do. The invention of alcohol was one of God's most serious mistakes. But we will correct it.

And others?

Yes; we shall next tackle that other Demon—tobacco. God also erred in creating the tobacco plant.

But what are you Professional Prohibitionists going to do for salaries after you have locked up all the drinkers and smokers?

We'll find something else. We will probably pass laws prohibiting any American citizen from kissing his wife on Sunday.

But, Mr. Stiggins.

Yes, LIFE.

Do you remember what Mr. Lincoln said about fooling all the people all the time?

He was not referring to the Demon Rum.

And do you remember what another

Revered Person said about the matter of precedence in removing beams and motives?

I don't know to whom you refer.

Of course not. But, Mr. Stiggins—
Yes, LIFE.

The door is directly behind you. And don't forget to collect your next month's salary.

Indeed I won't, LIFE. Good morning.

Good morning, reverend sir.

DROPPING THE PILOT

LENT

436

LIFE

## Advertisements You Have Never Seen

SAVE LAUNDRY
BILLS!

The ADONIS~
BEARD-WAVING COMPANY
Can Train Your Beard To Take
The Place Of A Shirt And Vest.

This Is
The Best Way To Serve
MALIGNO
EMBALMED BEANS.
(Guaranteed Under The Poor Food And Drugs Act.)
"We Remove The Taste By A ~
Secret Process."

DO YOU LOVE
HOMELY BABIES?

~This Little Monstrosity
Was Fed Entirely Upon
PUFFEMUP,
The Pneumatic
Baby Buster.

For Sale At Most Garages.~

### How Not to Reform Children

THE very nature of reform schools and institutions for children makes them work against the child. That is why we so seldom hear of children who come out of reform schools "making good." The idea of trying to reform a child by any particular process is fundamentally wrong in itself. This reforming idea on the part of our society as a whole towards certain individuals in it who do not conform to type is one of the greatest defects in our civilization. We are about in the same period of our racial existence that crude, primitive, uncultured parents are who think that beating and cuffing their children are the only remedies.

There is a simple and logical sense in which everything that a child does is right. He is finding out for himself in the only way he can learn what is best for him and what is not. He is not at all familiar with the rules of the game as we have come to learn them. He has no fear of consequences; knows nothing about them. If he happens to be in the country he can, in his strolls, pick an apple off the ground and eat it with impunity. If he strolls in the city and takes an apple from an apple-stand he is hailed as a thief. Children in reality are only ignorant. When a child

is so dull that he cannot see the difference between right and wrong, no reforming institution is going to make him any better. It can only make him worse in the nature of things. He needs the contact with superior people. He needs everlasting patience to open up his mind. The institution only closes him up tighter.

### Dogs and Doctors

THE average attitude of the average physician towards brute creatures is interestingly revealed in a reputed syllogism laid down by a prominent vivisectionist at a recent meeting of medicos. According to the news report, this physician argued: "The dog doesn't know he's alive, and so doesn't know when he dies: hence the dog is the happiest creature on earth." This explains a great deal in the psychology of our modern medicine men. But if what the distinguished scientist in question said is true, it may be argued further: The dog doesn't know he's alive, and hence can feel no pain. Then why should vivisectionists use anesthetics? Or—do they?

TRAIN up a cook in the way she should go, and when she is trained she will depart from you.

LIFE

437

A CONVENTION OF EMINENT SCIENTISTS NEAR BABBLE-ON, LONG ISLAND

## The Heyday of the Fanatic

IS the Democratic Administration, with its Southern domination, its pork-laden Congressmen, responsible for the cloud of evil spirits let loose all over the country?

Every day in some legislature, or at Washington, bills are introduced that would bring the blush of shame

to the prize ass of Christendom.

Thus we have a member of the Kansas legislature introducing a bill providing a fine up to twenty-five dollars for anybody smoking a cigarette, no matter where he is caught, at home or in public.

In business, if a certain set of men are powerful enough, they will introduce a bill to prevent other men less

powerful from doing anything in competition with their business. America, at the present moment, is the garden spot of the world for cranks and fanatics. Nice old ladies who have mused in their hearts for perhaps fifty years some feminine theory of the universe, sit in the Capitol at Washington waiting their calendar turn. Long-whiskered mental dipsomaniacs from every remote section of the land are waving clubs over innocent people whose main idea in life is to live their lives to suit themselves.

Living your life to suit yourself, however, even though it may be of genuine benefit to others, is no longer *en regle* in the best political circles.

In a short time we shall be tucked up in bed at night by medical inspectors. Each citizen will have to report to the local Board of Health before he goes to business. What we eat, what we drink, what we say, how we shall breathe will all be determined for us by a local board.

"PEACE WITHOUT VICTORY"

440

LIFE

MARCH 15, 1917.

“While there is Life there’s Hope”

VOL. 69
No. 1794

J. A. MITCHELL, Pres't.

Published by
LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY

A. MILLER, Sec'y and Treas.

17 West Thirty-first Street, New York
English Offices, Rolls House, Breams Bldgs., London, E. C.

MR. O'GORMAN, whose
term in the Senate
has now happily
expired, repre-
sented the in-

capacity of the Democratic party in
New York to do its public duty. After
a protracted effort to choose a senator,
it chose him. As the representative of
its incapacity, he was a success beyond
expectation. In other respects he sel-
dom represented the state. In politics
he has been a Fenian, and it was his
fidelity to that party which included
him among the dozen senators who
blocked the vote to arm our merchant-
ships, and defeated so much other im-
portant legislation.

New York is to blame for O'Gor-
man, Missouri for Stone, Wisconsin
for La Follette, Iowa for Cummins
and Kenyon, California for Works,
Oregon for Lane, Arkansas for Kirby,
Minnesota for Clapp, and so on. Four
of the culprits were not re-elected.
With the rest, their states must deal at
convenience, but is it necessary that
Gumshoe Bill Stone of Missouri should
continue to be Chairman of the Sen-
ate's Foreign Relations Committee?
That is a very important post, and
should be in the charge of a senator
who is in sympathy with the sentiments
of the country. Stone is pro-German,
has operated steadily on that side since
the war began, and is now conspicuous
in defeating the will of the Demo-
cratic administration in a matter in-
volving the honor and safety of the
country. If Missouri likes him we
must bear it, but at least he should

lose his job as chairman of the most
important committee in the Senate.

The strongest argument in favor of
amending the rules of the Senate so
that a few filibusterers may not defeat
the will of their colleagues is that La
Follette is at the beginning of a new
six-year term. It would be futile to
call a special session of Congress to
pass the measure that the Senate fili-
busterers defeated if the surviving
remnant of them can go ahead and
defeat it again. But as to all that, Mr.
Wilson is as good a judge of what is
expedient as anyone, and the Senate
may immediately amend its rules.

Both the war and the spring seem to
have been postponed, but it often hap-
 pens so in March, which is a month
that deals freely in the unexpected.
We always get the spring in the end,
and we need not despair of getting
into the war. Mr. Wilson, in his in-
augural, is not particularly martial,
but at least he shows no sign of taking
the back track. "We stand firm," he
says, "in armed neutrality." And
again he says, "We are provincials no
longer. The tragical events of thirty
months have made us citizens of the
world. Then there can be no turning
back."

"That idea he seems to have accepted at least as positively as Mr. Bryan has rejected it.

Mr. Bryan does right to reject it. He
has neither the endowment nor the
equipment to meddle to advantage in
world politics. His vineyard is Chau-
tauqua, and in that he can delve pro-
fitably. But Mr. Wilson is a very dif-
ferent order of man. Prudent people

hesitate more and more to define his
limitations. "The greatest things," he
says, "that remain to be done must be
done with the whole world for stage
and in co-operation with the wide and
universal forces of mankind, and we
are making our spirits ready for those
things."

Whatever you make of that, it does
not sound like hiding under the bed
while German submarines destroy our
commerce. It is not under the bed,
where La Follette and Stone would
hold us, that spirits are made ready for
co-operation with the universal forces
of mankind.

So let us find encouragement in the
President's inaugural.

THE German wooings of Mexico
and Japan have made chiefly for
merriment. Most of the newspapers
printed indignant editorials that thun-
dered about this new exposure of Ger-
man perfidy. But how can anybody
be indignant with Germans about mat-
ters of detail like attempts to seduce
Japan or Mexico? Of course they
would try these games. It is a little
awkward for them to be caught at it,
because that makes them ridiculous,
and when the catch is confirmed from
Berlin, it leaves everybody grinning at
the denials in our German-language
newspapers. But the games themselves
are respectable compared with other
things that the Germans have done in
this war, and especially the rape of
Belgium.

Politically, it was very valuable to
us to have the negotiations with Mex-
ico detected. It helped to wake up
those of our people who still need
awakening on the subject of German
intentions. But morally it did Ger-
many no harm in the eyes of anyone
who has acquired understanding of her
in the last thirty months. The United
States has worked continuously and
with great effect to defeat the consum-
mation of the hideous German plan.

LIFE

441

All the President's railway legisla-
tion was lost, but the railroads and the
unions remain, and the President has
four years still in which to improve
their relations.

PEOPLE talk about the need that we
Americans should not get mixed up
with Europe, and think they are talk-
ing manifest sense. And so they may
be, in a way. Politically we have
certain advantages in having large
stretches of deep water to the east and
west of us, and those advantages we
should try not to forego.

But even those will be by no means
so solid as the present century matures
as in the last one, and it is proper for
us to look for compensations for the
dwinding of them.

There are plenty of such compensa-
tions.

Getting more mixed up with Europe
will mean that we shall no longer be
passengers on an Earth regulated by
our elders, but will have to do our
share in the management and direction
of the family affairs. That means that
we shall have to develop men and ap-
paratus as competent for world-politics
as those of Europe. We shall be in a
new competition; shall be compelled to
take larger responsibilities, follow defi-
nite, known policies and back them up
with wit and weapons.

All that will do us good, testing our
strength and the capacity of our form
of government, and helping to civilize
and develop us, to get us together,
and practice us in co-operation. There
are folks who think our precious
Americanism will be impaired by asso-
ciation with Europe. More likely it
will be improved, for we are much too
big now for Europe to swallow, and
there will be give and take on both
sides in our relations with her.

Moreover, when we mix with Eu-
ropeans we merely mix with our own.
All of us, except red Indians, Negroes,
Jews, and a few Orientals, are Eu-
ropeans. Getting back to Europe is
getting back to the family we belong to.
It detaches us from nothing of value
except isolation, and of that we have
had quite as much as our development
required, or our manners can stand.

"Mother, may I go out to swim?"
"Yes, my darling daughter.
Hang your clothes on a hickory limb,
But don't go near the water."

Of course those Germans who made
the plan and staked their all on it,
hate us consumedly, and with good
reason, and will damage us any way
they can the first minute it seems more
profitable to hit us than to lie low and
try to keep us out of the war.

There will have to be a new ses-
sion of Congress pretty soon, if not
immediately, to pass some of the
bills that the filibusterers crowded out.
There is an army bill carrying 279 mil-
lions, a supplementary navy bill carry-

ing 150 millions, and other measures
not so expensive, but important. In
spite of the labors of the suffragists,
the unfeeling filibusterers smothered
the constitutional amendment for na-
tional woman suffrage, and the amend-
ment for national prohibition also died.
But the Jones-Reed "bone-dry" rider
on the post-office appropriation bill is
a law as amended to begin work on
July 1st this year, and also the bill to
make the District dry after the first of
next November.

444

LIFE

Mr. Sothern Turned Playwright

AT the first performance of "Stranger Than Fiction" two ladies of more than usually intelligent appearance removed their hats and settled themselves comfortably in aisle seats, their faces wearing an assured expression of anticipated pleasure not often to be observed at first-nights in New York. It seemed probable that they might be from Boston, the look of intelligence contributing to that theory, as well as the fact that the leading part was to be played by Mr. John Craig, who has earned considerable reputation in the metropolis of Massachusetts. The

knowledge that Mr. E. H. Sothern was the author of the play may perhaps have increased the certainty of their anticipation.

At the end of the first act the ladies looked at each other with puzzled expression. They were evidently not at all sure they had been pleased. What they said could not be heard, but they were evidently sharing the same puzzlement and doubt that seemed to beset every one else in the audience.

With the fall of the second curtain the expression of the ladies had changed to a sort of grieved astonishment, and the pleasurable certainty had vanished utterly. As they went up the aisle on their way out it was evident from fragments of their remarks that they had paid for their seats and felt that they had not secured a bargain.

EXPERIENCED playgoers found themselves in the same condition of bewilderment in the early stages of "Stranger Than Fiction." They found the leading man set up as a sort of professor of the drama, expounding a theory of play-construction and backing it up by reading passages from books by more or less eminent authorities on the subject. The theory was then turned into action as other characters appeared, every one concerned having some relation to a plot developed as the play went on. Confusion rapidly became worse confounded, but at least it became evident what Mr. Sothern was driving at and that he had smothered a rather ingenious idea by too much subdivision of interest. At times it seemed as though he was really trying to demonstrate something, at others as though he was attempting to provide farcical entertainment, and at others as though he was perpetrating a rather feeble practical joke on his audience.

The artists also seemed puzzled as to how they should handle the material entrusted to them, although there was never much doubt in the case of Mary Young, who was first a very charming girl in boy's clothes and later an equally arch and attractive girl in girl's clothes. Mr. Craig seemed especially in doubt as to whether his rôle was professional, farcical or amatory. Mr. Cooper was able towards the last to gain a little opportunity for his distinguished diction, and at moments

Katherine Stewart was able to puncture the confused atmosphere with her sure methods. The rest of the cast struggled hard for intelligent opportunities. "Stranger Than Fiction" leaves the general impression that it is a gallimaufry.

PALS FIRST," like many recent plays, harks back to the ever-fruitful Robert Macaire theme. The principal characters are a real hobo, amusingly realized by Mr. Wise, and a hero masquerading as an escaped jail-bird, made picturesque by Mr. Courtenay. In the not large cast Auriol Lee gives us a charming portrayal of an old-school lady afflicted with deafness. Mr. Ben Johnson as a Virginia judge is almost a professional Southerner, and an expert in hoboes assures us that Mr. Courtenay as *The Squirrel* of the hobo ilk is the real thing.

"Pals First" shows, in a comedy scene between the deaf aunt and Mr. Wise masquerading as an eminent divine, that a good thing, even if old, remains a good thing when well done. The piece as a whole is sufficiently interesting in itself, and sufficiently well done to provide an evening's legitimate and wholesome entertainment. It is particularly recommended to those who have tired of farce and girl-and-music shows.

THE esteemed Sun has unearthed a new humorist in the person of Mr. Roy K. Moulton. In discoursing on the theatre in New York he unbosoms himself of this information:

> Going to the theatre is not a difficult task here, Buddy. If you walk a hundred yards in any direction you are in the midst of high, low and medium brow entertainments. As fast as they can tear down existing buildings they are putting up new theatres.

> When you go into a theatre you are not sure whether you are going into the right one or the one next door. And it really doesn't make much difference

ON THE SIXTEENTH OF MARCH

Patrick: O'M NOT TH' LA-AD TO THREATEN ANNY MAN—BUT—
TO-MORRO'—IF I WOR YOU I'D SELL SPINACH!

LIFE

448

“ORDEAL BY FIRE” is the cut-to-measure and well fitted title of a war romance recently translated from the French of Marcel Berger (Putnam, $1.50), in which the transforming of a coolly cynical and egoistic bachelor *boulevardier* into a warm-hearted, one-legged, married patriot by his experiences in the campaign that culminated in the battle of the Marne is autobiographically set down by a sergeant of the French forces. The personal narrative of the mobilization, the adjustments to routine, the earlier impacts of the war and the gradual veteranizing of the recruits is straightforward and interesting, and the psychology of the hero’s emotional transformation is simple and naturalistic. But the over-zealous Englishness of the translator in doing the patois of the *poilus* into cockney dialect and making most of the French privates drop their aitches gives one a crick in one’s sense of local color.

A LIKE theme, developed from the viewpoint of American preparedness, is the basis of Sylvia Chatfield Bates's "The Vintage" (Duffield, $1)—a story in which the theoretically sophisticated grandson of a Civil War hero, intellectually disdainful of nationalism and patriotic fervor, is emotionally

awakened and warmed into Old-Glory-fied enthusiasm by a sheaf of letters written from the front in '63. The author of "The Geranium Lady" has handled her material with skill, making a direct and magnetic appeal to the basic sentiments of mankind. "The Vintage" may yet prove "The Man Without a Country" of 1917.

IN both of these books sentiment is intentionally used as a motive power. In D. H. Lawrence's "The Prussian Officer and Other Stories" (Huebsch, $1.50) it is sternly relegated to the category of mere phenomena, periodically present and operative (like hunger, pique, hatred and passion) in the human specimens under consideration. To interest in the actual workings of our embodied spirits is given the place of motorman. This mode of procedure is not popular. And the author's frequent recognition and recording of the physical—not to say visceral—accompaniments of mental experiences will offend the soulful. But his tales are not only marvels of close observation, but are striking and satisfying examples of the dramatic quality of artistic construction.

THESE are tough times for believers in Authority with a large A. Not only are there two, and sometimes five or six, sides to most things, as usual, but it is almost impossible, nowadays, having heard one view, to get cotton into one's ears quick enough to avoid hearing another. And hearing more than one side forces you either to become your own authority or take to the woods. Freud's latest books were noticed here a while back; Dr. Morris's "Microbes and Men" more recently. (The delightful doctor holds that "when men smile and agree, progress dies." He disagrees violently with Freud, and then naively wishes that someone would shoot the fellow for obstructing progress.) Now comes Havelock Ellis with a volume of "Essays in War Time" (Houghton, Mifflin, $1.50)—essays on genius, eugenics, feminism, birth control, (Continued on page 456)

WHAT THE HUN WOULD HAVE DONE

LIFE

449

THE FRANKLIN CAR

SOME RESULTS OF SCIENTIFIC
LIGHT WEIGHT

THE American public seldom fails in the long run to accord recognition where it is due.

It may take its own time about accepting a sound principle in motor-car construction. But the public mind, once awake, is not easily diverted from the issue and does not readily forget who started it.

The common-sense American public was bound to turn against the heavy, rigid, complicated car, and demand lightness, strength, flexibility—for these things mean comfort, safety and economy. They mean interpreting car value in terms of service and of use. They mean the car as a man's servant: not the man the servant of the car.

The heavy car is going out of fashion.

Nearly all makers are talking light weight and implying tire and gas economy—but they are not quoting figures.

Light weight as a popular talking point is quite another thing from Scientific Light Weight attained by long experience in perfecting fine materials, gaining lightness, strength, flexibility, consistently throughout the car.

Franklin Direct-Air-Cooling did away with 177 water-cooling parts.

Franklin flexible construction did away with torque rods and reach rods and gave the Franklin the lightest unsprung weight ever attained.

The latest reports from Franklin owners give the tire mileage of 215 Franklin Cars well over ten thousand miles to the set of tires. And not five per cent. difference between the Open Cars and the Enclosed Models!

You know some Franklin owner, probably several. Many of them, as you know, have owned and driven other makes of fine cars.

Short of driving a Franklin yourself, there is no surer way to get the motorist's side of Franklin Scientific Light Weight than riding with a Franklin owner.

You will see him handle his car with ease and safety.

You will find him taking the roads as they come—not humoring his car over the rough spots.

You will note the comfort, the freedom from hammer and bump—result of light unsprung weight and driving through full-elliptic springs.

Hold a watch on him—he is making better time from place to place, a steady, easy gait, miles on end, and no slowing up for hills or stretches of choppy road.

You will see him step out of the car fresh and untired at the end of the day's run.

Franklin Scientific Light Weight gives a road ability the motorist can use without working himself.

Check up his gasoline and tires. You will get some new ideas of motor-car efficiency.

Now, as an enlightened motorist, you are looking for scientific light weight—its safety, its comfort, its economy. Where are you going to get it? In a car that has had some of its weight taken off to meet the public demand?

Or in the Franklin: the one motor car that is today, as it always has been—a consistently Scientific-Light-Weight Car!

Touring Car 2280 lbs. $1950.00
Runabout 2160 lbs. 1900.00
Four-passenger Roadster 2280 lbs. 1950.00

Cabriolet 2485 lbs. $2750.00
Sedan 2610 lbs. 2850.00
Brougham 2575 lbs. 2800.00

Town Car 2610 lbs. $3100.00
Limousine 2620 lbs. 3100.00
All Prices F. O. B. Syracuse

FRANKLIN AUTOMOBILE COMPANY
SYRACUSE, N. Y., U. S. A.

450

LIFE

AUT SCISSORS
AUT NULLUS

## Literal

The stout party had been in the boot shop over an hour, and the patient shop assistant had had half the stock down for her inspection. She found a fault with them all until his patience became quite exhausted.

"These would suit you," he said, taking another pair down as a last resource. Still the lady was not satisfied.

"I don't like this sort," she said. "They have a tendency to get wider when they are a bit old."

"Well, madam," retorted the exasperated assistant, politely, "didn't you?"

## The Simple Truth

MABEL: I'm going to get married next month, Lizzie, if Jim can get a week off from his job. I think he'll be able to; yer see, it isn't as if 'e was asking for a vacation to have a good time.

—Vanity Fair.

THE MISSIONARY

## All Saints'

In a church which is furnished with mul lion and gable,

With altar and reredos, gargoyle and groin,

The penitents' dresses are sealskin and sable,

But could only Lucifer, flying from Hades,

Gaze down on this crowd with paniers and paints,

He would say as he looked at the lords and the ladies:

"Oh, where is All Sinners' if this is All Saints'?" —*London World.*

"MARY, New York seems to be an awful town in which to buy groceries. Aren't there any stores where they sell things lower than the others do?"

"No, mum; I don't know of any. There's some stores where they sell 'em higher than the others, but they ain't none where they sell 'em lower."

— The World.

EXCITED TOURIST: Information given out here?

TIRED ATTENDANT: It has.

—Illustrated World.

LIFE is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in U. S. Patent Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, 52 cents. Single current copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after three months from date of publication, 25 cents. Issues prior to 1910 out of print.

The text and illustrations in LIFE are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to: LIFE, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. C., England.

LIFE is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from booksellers in all the principal cities in the world. The foreign trade supplied from LIFE's London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C.

No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. LIFE does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unso- licited contributions.

Notice of change of address should reach this office ten days prior to the date of issue to be affected.

## A NEW IDEA IN BINDERS

Until now LIFE has never been able to supply its readers with an entirely satisfactory binder for the convenient and safe preservation of the copies of the journal.

The new invention expands or contracts at will, and makes a convenient volume to handle as well as being very simple in operation.

It is handsomely made, the outside being black Art Buckram with cover design in gilt, and is made to hold a full year's copies of LIFE.

Sent post free to any address in the United States on receipt of $1.50

LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY

17 West Thirty-first Street

New York City

LIFE

451

HOW do you know
it's $10.00 a bottle ?
"Your Nose Knows"

No fooling you on that fragrance! It's the very essence of fields of foreign roses and Summer sunshine. You sense real value in the first delicious whiff of it. —"Your Nose Knows." And, thereby, you know, too, that she won't be able to resist it. You're proud that she should prefer it. It's so like her, so deliciously fragrant. Why not judge your tobacco, too, by your unerring sense of pure fragrance; for fragrance is an indication of quality—"Your Nose Knows."

Real quality gives pure fragrance to

Tuxedo
The Perfect Tobacco for Pipe and Cigarette

The rich, ripe Burley leaves of which Tuxedo is blended, store the sunshine of the Blue Grass section of Old Kentucky, and bring to you with every smoke a delightful, pure fragrance that has no equal—"Your Nose Knows."

Try this Test:—Rub a little Tuxedo briskly in the palm of your hand to bring out its full aroma. Then smell it deep—its delicious, pure fragrance will convince you. Try this test with any other tobacco and we will let Tuxedo stand or fall on your judgment.

"Your Nose Knows"

Guaranteed by

The American Tobacco Co.

452

LIFE

OUR
FOOLISH
CONTEMPORARIES

He Understood

The pale-faced passenger looked out of the car window with exceeding interest. Finally he turned to his seat mate.

"You likely think I never rode in the cars before," he said, "but the fact is, pardner, I just got out of prison this mornin' and it does me good to look around. It is goin' to be mighty tough, though, facin' my old-time friends. I s'pose, though, you ain't got much idea how a man feels in a case like that."

"Perhaps I have a better idea of your feelings than you think," said the other gentleman, with a sad smile. "I am just getting home from Congress."

—Argonaut.

The Sands of Time

THE OPTIMIST: Cheer up, Bert! The war will soon be over, and we'll all be back in good old Blighty!

THE PESSIMIST: 'Tis all very well for you to talk like that, Charlie—you're one of the lucky ones. But I'll never see Blighty no more. When you and the boys go home they'll put me on to empty ing the blinkin' sandbags!

—London Opinion.

Enough Said

"Why do you consider women su
perior to men in intelligence?"

"A bald-headed man buys his restorer by the bottle, doesn't he?"

"Er—yes."

"Well, a woman doesn't waste time on a hair-restorer; she buys hair."

—Tit-Bits.

SEXOLOGY

by William H. Walling, A.M., M.D.

imparts in a clear, wholesome
way, in one volume:

Knowledge a Young Man Should Have.

Knowledge a Young Husband Should Have.

Knowledge a Father Should Have.

Knowledge a Father Should Impart to His Son.

Medical Knowledge a Husband Should Have.

Knowledge a Young Woman Should Have.

Knowledge a Young Wife Should Have.

Knowledge a Mother Should Have.

Knowledge a Mother Should Impart to Her Daughter.

Medical Knowledge a Wife Should Have.

All in one volume,
Illustrated,
$2.00 postpaid

Write for "Other People's Opinions" and Table of Contents.

PURITAN PUB. CO., 797 PERRY BLDG., PHIL., PA.

The Baldwin Piano

Grand Prix, Paris—Grand Prize, St. Louis

HE BALDWIN tone is intimate, sympa-
thetic, warm, mellow. Because of these
human qualities, the really great artists
such as Levitzki, De Pachman, Sembrich,
Bachaus, Alda, Scharwenka, La Forge and
Eddy Brown are satisfied with no other.

In the opinion of those who rate pianos according to true musical worth, the sheer loveliness of its tone places the Baldwin beyond comparison.

Wherever you live, you can hear the Baldwin Piano and take advantage of the attractive proposition now offered to prospective buyers of high-grade instruments by all Baldwin dealers. Write to nearest address today.

The Baldwin Piano Company

Cincinnati...........142 W. Fourth St.
Chicago..............323 S. Wabash Av.
St. Louis............1111 Olive St.
New York.............665 Fifth Av.

Dallas

Denver..................1636 California St.
San Francisco...........310 Sutter St.
Indianapolis............18 N. Penn's St.
Louisville.............521 S. Fourth Av.
1911 Elm St.

What Choate Couldn't Call Him

When Joseph H. Choate was Ambassa-
dor to the Court of St. James he was
standing near the door as some of the
guests at a reception were leaving. An
Englishman, mistaking him for one of
the footmen, said:

"Call me carriage."

Mr. Choate turned to him and said:

"How do you do, Carriage?"

"Why do you call me that?" demand-
ed the astonished Englishman.

"Well," responded Mr. Choate dryly,
"I couldn't very well call you Hansom."

—Ladies' Home Journal.

Wine Jelly when flavored with Abbott's Bitters is made
more delightful and healthful. Sample of bitters by mail,
25 cts. in stamps. C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md.

SHOPWALKER: Look here, sir, the lady
who's just left the shop complained that
you didn't even show her common civility.

NEW ASSISTANT: But I showed her
everything in my department, sir.

—Tit-Bits.

Please
Tell Others
What You
Know About
BELL-ANS
FOR INDIGESTION

SAITO

CHINESE ANTIQUES
284 Post St. SAN FRANCISCO

(Correspondence with collectors invited)

PIRATE BRIDGE By R. F. Foster

No card player who reads Mr. Foster's lucid explanation of the theory and practice of PIRATE BRIDGE can fail to recognize its immense superiority over Auction. The first few chapters fill one with a fierce desire to try the game, it is so much quicker, so much more interesting, and gives so much greater scope for the display of individual skill. The experienced Auction player has nothing new to learn, except to apply his skill in a different way, and always with the best partner.

E. P. DUTTON & CO., 681 Fifth Avenue, N. Y.

$1.50 NET
ALL BOOKSTORES

"WHEN I WAS AT AUNT MARY'S THEY WANTED TO PUT A GIRL'S NIGHTDRESS ON ME,"

"WELL, DID YOU WEAR IT, SONNY?"

"NO; I SAID I'D GO TO BED RAW FIRST."

Tooth Brush

Most of your friends use it
and profit by it

LIFE

453

SOLILOQUY

Husband: NO MATTER — NO MATTER
WHAT I AM NOW—THANK GOD I WAS WILD
IN MY YOUTH!

## French Babies

(Continued from page 446)

768. Pierre Meisner. Miss M. M. Jones, San Francisco. Cal.

769. Odette Mioche. Ella L. and E. D. Wetmore, Santa Barbara, Cal.

771. Emile Mouilleron. Castilleja School, Palo Alto, Cal.

773. Renée Niel. Allan and Gerald Phipps, Denver, Colo.

774. Paule Paré. Frances Cox, New York City.

775. Léon Pérignon. J. A. Mitchell, New York City.

776. Alice Pimor. Barbara Ripley Evans, Palo Alto, Cal.

784. Stéphane Plamandon. Mrs. Benj. Eastwood, Paterson, N. J.

711. Marie Postic. Annah Louise Bursaw and Helen Ogilvie Bursaw, Beverly, Mass.

715. Marie Postic. Mrs. Douglas Vander Hoof, Richmond, Va.

721. Rose Réant. Mrs. H. L. Wade, Waterbury, Conn.

705. Andrée Reclus. W. A. Clark, Jr., Los Angeles, Cal.

795. Antoine Regneault. Miss Harriet Ashhurst, Philadelphia, Pa.

796. Henriette Regneault. Miss Harriet Ashhurst, Philadelphia, Pa.

779. Odette Renault. W. J. Turner, Ran- cagua, Chili.

790. Louis Bouteau. Bernard Hubbard, San Diego, Cal.

## TIFFANY & Co.

JEWELERS SILVERSMITHS

PRICES ALWAYS MODERATE
QUALITY ALWAYS HIGH

THE TIFFANY BLUE BOOK GIVES PARTICULARS

FIFTH AVENUE & 37TH STREET
NEW YORK

735. Raymonde Riehl. From Christmas party given by Doie and Christine Duthie-Strachan, Chestnut Hill, Mass.

723. Francois Rumeur. Thomas Stokes, Philadelphia, Pa.

780. Raymonde Séguir. W. J. Turner, Rancagua, Chili.

781. Elise Sicard. W. J. Turner, Rancagua, Chili.

725. Auguste Schmidt. William Stickney, Rutland, Vt.

782. Germaine Soreau. W. J. Turner, Rancagua, Chili.

726. Gabriel Thevenin. Flora Agnes Sporborg, Syracuse, N. Y.

708. Jeanne Traon. George A. Whiting, Baltimore, Md.

728. Lucien Trouvé. Miss Julia M. Camp, Ft. Shafter, Honolulu.

729. René Wetzler. Miss Julia Mattis, Champaign, Ill.

722. Anne Beaussier. St. John's Sunday School, Waterbury, Conn.

743. Lucien Béziaud. In memory of Edwin Hawkridge, Brookline, Mass.

744. Lucienne Béziaud. In memory of Edwin Hawkridge, Brookline, Mass.

724. Geneviève Birot. Mrs. C. Lauretta Newman, Washington, D. C.

786. Paul Borianne. "L," Philadelphia.

787. Philomène Boudaud. Freehold, New York City.

788. Raymond Boursier. Barbara Cum- mer, Jacksonville, Fla.

456

LIFE

Europe's many tongues and consequent misunderstandings

## The Fruits of Understanding

Throughout the vast area of this country prevails a common tongue. The whole of Europe hardly exceeds our territory, yet Europe has more than a score of nationalities and many different languages.

In the United States the telephone, as exemplified by Bell System, renders a matchless service in its mastery of distance and in encouraging the use of a universal language. This accomplishment is in spite of the great influx of population from every country in the world.

In Europe the independent countries, separated by barriers of language,

and lacking efficient telephone service, suffer from inadequate facilities for inter-communication.

We now talk from the Atlantic Coast to the Pacific, and eliminate more than three thousand miles. In Europe, contending with a babel of voices and unrelated telephone systems, a bare quarter of that distance has been bridged with difficulty.

The ideal of the Bell System has been day by day to extend its service in the interest of all telephone users. Its efforts have resulted in providing the facilities to unite cities and rural districts in true American democracy.

AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY
AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES

One Policy

One System

Universal Service

### The Latest Books

*(Continued from page 448)*

divorce and "social hygiene" in general—and disagrees with both of them at every turn. It is a fine book—unless you prefer the woods.

IN which case there is "The Beetle" (Putnam, $1.50), by Richard Marsh; a tale of crepuscular creepiness and miasmic mystery in which a prospective prime minister of England (who com-

mitted an indiscreet tarradiddle in his youth when visiting Cairo) is hounded by haunts, haunted by horrors, and all but mentally unhinged, politically unhorsed and socially unfiancéed by the hypnotic high jinks of a belated vengeance, operating through the Arab emissary of an Egyptian Black Hand society. The author has an eight-cylinder imagination, but one that is criminally wasteful of verbal gasoline.

J. B. Kerfoot.

### The Old Family Doctor

YOU Dear Old Doctor, man of cheer
Who helped us conquer many a fear,

When dreading Death's grim call to go,
You came and banished all our woe,
Saying: "It's only so and so."

You cured our ills and gave us health,
And left us still a little wealth.

A dozen simple remedies

You had for childhood's maladies.

If colic tied us in a knot,

You rubbed the place with something hot,

Advised: "Keep still and murmur not,"

Then, with a simple pill or two,

You gently, firmly pulled us through.

Your days were one long round of care,

And night time called you everywhere.

Awakened from a needed rest,

You helped a mother sore distressed.

At midnight loudly urged to come,

You straightened out some village bum.

In Winter's cold, in Summer's heat,

By countryside, on city street,

You never failed the test to meet.

And so from year to year you worked,

And when at last your time drew near,

You faced the end, and practiced still

Your Specialty—you never shirked.

Will Herford.

"GADZOOKS!" cried the Duchess,
as she swept madly from the
drawing-room. "I have actually for-
gotten to give the bally newsdealer an
advance order for my regular weekly
copy of LIFE."

WHITE HORSE
SCOTCH

Unique in
flavor, rich
in body and
most deli-
cious bou-
quet.

LIFE

457

## You Need These Curtains on Your Car

Sheila Hartwell, six years old, put up a complete set of Collins-System Curtains on a big touring-car, performing every operation herself, in four minutes.

### COLLINS-SYSTEM CURTAINS

*A point to judge the Car is*

are regular equipment on the better cars in every price-class—have been for years. You can have them on any car if you insist. And if you don't insist, you'll wish you had. But look for the label shown in this advertisement —it is your protection against substitutes.

JACKSON TOP COMPANY, Jackson, Mich.

Collins Always Ready Curtains

United States Patent
No. 13,066,882, July 1, 1918
P. 10,160,133 No. 11,750,328, Feb. 8, 1918
License No. K18996
JACKSON TOP CO., JACKSON, MICH.
DIVISION—NOVELTY LEATHER WORKS

## A Fine Art

Some men are born loose-ends, some achieve loose-endedness, and others have it thrust upon them by the members of their immediate family, who consider it a sacred privilege to cater to their loose-endedness.

To be a genuine Simon-pure loose-ender requires not only gifts but good luck. The very talent which makes one a loose-ender may contribute to a certain carelessness of demeanor which would prevent one from doing his best at loose-endedness.

Therefore it becomes a matter of special vigilance on the part of all loose-enders to gird up their loins and see to it that no process of loose-endedness escapes them.

For example, do you always and systematically fail in your engagements, or is there sometimes an occasion in which, through inadvertence, you may keep one?

IMPRESSIONISTS

In matters of business do you invariably reserve just enough laxity as to cause continuous annoyance and chagrin to your friends, without going so far as to militate against your own ability to keep yourself going? There is a nice discrimination here—to make other people just as much trouble as possible without hurting yourself. That is the ideal which every loose-ender should keep before him.

Oftentimes children start out in life with a perfect conception of loose-ended-

ness (even in this day and generation), sometimes ending up with a slight sense of responsibility. This is the great danger.

Remember, however, that if you are not born to it, loose-endedness is always worth trying for. To achieve a position where everyone is doing your work for you is surely worth while. And when you have learned, you always retain the knowledge.

Once a loose-ender, always a loose-ender.

# Westinghouse
STARTING, LIGHTING & IGNITION EQUIPMENT

## Where Minutes Mean Money

### Westinghouse
Equipment
On These Trucks

* DART*
* DUPLEX-POWER
* FEDERAL*
* GARFORD
* GERSIX
* GRAMM-BERNSTEIN
* KELLY-SPRINGFIELD*
* NELSON L:MOON
* PIERCE ARROW*
* RIKER*
* SERVICE*
* STEGEMAN
* WICHITA**

*Standard extra equipment

**Preferred extra equipment

Down comes the load, box after box, and the whole truck trembles.

Then off over cobbles and car tracks, with each bump sending a shock to every part.

Yet under countless thousands of such blows, the electrical equipment —starting motor and generator— must preserve the nice adjustment essential to an unfailing quick start and bright steady lights.

For truck service, though imposing the severest strains, makes the least

allowance for failure. To the truck owner minutes mean money, and he applies to truck performance the hard and fast measure of the cost sheet.

It is noteworthy, therefore, that Westinghouse is used as regular or standard extra equipment on a dozen well-known makes of motor trucks and is supplied by others at the buyer's option.

The same high quality that makes Westinghouse Equipment the choice of these truck builders has caused more than forty pleasure car manufacturers to adopt it though it costs more.

WESTINGHOUSE ELECTRIC & MANUFACTURING COMPANY
Automobile Equipment Department
SHADYSIDE WORKS PITTSBURGH. PA.

458

LIFE

"... on that morning the post brought news from our Richmond friend,—good news in the substantial form of packets of cigarettes of Virginia tobacco."

It is like stepping back into a quieter more courteous period, to dip into the aristocratic contents of a box of "good old Richmond Straight Cuts."

No other cigarette is quite like them. They have a subtle charm and quaint, old-time delicacy to be found only in their pure, "bright" Virginia tobacco.

You will find them just as appealing today as when the first ones were fashioned over two generations ago.

RICHMOND STRAIGHT CUT

Cigarettes

PLAIN OR CORK TIP
Fifteen cents

Also in attractive tins, 50 for 40 cents; 100 for 75 cents. Sent prepaid if your dealer cannot supply you.

Allen & Ginter

RICHMOND, VIRGINIA, U.S.A.
LIGGETT & MYERS TOBACCO CO. SUCCESSOR.

Preferred by Gentlemen Now as Then

Concerning Physicians

A MAN'S own observation on what he finds good of, and what he finds hurt of, is the best physic to preserve health.

—Bacon.

'Tis not amiss, ere ye're giv'n o'er, To try one desp'rate med'cine more; For where your case can be no worse, The desp'rat'st is the wiser course.

—Butler.

Physicians mend or end us, Secundum. artem; but although we sneer

In health—when ill we call them to attend us,

Without the least propensity to jeer.

—Byron.

See one physician, like a sculler plies, The patient lingers and by inches dies; But two physicians, like a pair of oars, Waft him more swiftly to the Stygian shores.—Dunscomb.

"Is there no hope?" the sick man said. The silent doctor shook his head, And took his leave with signs of sorrow, Despairing of his fee to-morrow.—Gay.

In requital ope his leathern scrip, And show me simples of a thousand names,

Telling their strange and vigorous faculties.—Milton.

Time is generally the best doctor.

—Ovid.

Modern pothecaries, taught the art By doctor's bills to play the doctor's part, Bold in the practice of mistaken rules, Prescribe, apply, and call their masters fools.—Pope.

Who shall decide when doctors disagree?

—Pope.

Cur'd yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician.

—Prior.

You tell your doctor that y're ill; And what does he but write a bill, Of which you need not read one letter; The worse the scrawl, the dose the better. For if you knew but what you take, Though you recover, he must break.

—Prior.

Physicians, of all men, are most happy; whatever good success soever they have, the world proclaimeth; and what faults they commit, the earth covereth.

—Quarles.

Use three Physicians, Still,—first, Dr. Quiet, Next Dr. Herry-man, And Dr. Dyet.

—Old Latin book.

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it.—Shakespeare.

In this point All his tricks founder, and he brings his physic

After his patient's death.—Shakespeare.

Trust not the physician; his antidotes are poison.—Shakespeare.

REG. U.S. PAT.OFFICE

CELEBRATED
HATS

Acknowledged as the criterion of correct fashions in men's hats

178-180 Fifth Avenue
181 Broadway
NEW YORK

Accredited Agencies in all Principal Cities

LIFE

459

## Our Guest

AT the Hollenden, you immediately sense the congeniality and warmth of the “home” atmosphere, so rarely found in a hotel. Whether being served in any of our three nationally famed restaurants, or enjoying the quiet of a comfortable and tastefully arranged room, your feelings are more those of a favored guest in a private home, than of a patron of a hotel.

European Plan, with bath:
For one person, $2 to $5
For two persons, $3 to $6
With twin beds, $4 to $6
Suites at various prices.

The Hollenden
Cleveland

## Sacrilege Suggested

DR. BUTTNER, assistant surgeon of the New York French Hospital in France, reports by letter to the Springfield Republican that "there are in France enormous extents of land covered with full-grown vines"; that "the price of good, sweet grapes for wine making is very low," and that there is an astonishing opportunity there to make grape juice!

Shade of Bacchus! Why grape juice?
Why not wine as heretofore?

Cheap red wine as drunk in France is the greatest temperance drink in the world. Fortified with alcohol distilled from cheap sugar it does mischief, but natural French claret, when it is cheap, is almost a solution of the drink problem.

What is the matter with the French?
They're all right!

Was it grape juice that made them good?

They never had any.

They may make grape juice for ex-

port if there is a market for it or a profit in it, but nothing one knows about the French encourages the idea that they will ever themselves become large consumers of Old Doctor Bryan's favorite remedy.

ON the 947th page of the Telephone Directory will be found the name and address of a wise, sensible and prudent citizen who evidenced those qualities by giving his newsdealer a standing order for his weekly copy of LIFE.

"I SAY! WOT'S THE USE OF BRAINS WEN A PLAIN CHINK LIKE THAT KIN WALLOW IN LUXURY?"

## GROWING OLD GRACEFULLY

The key to health in old age is the prevention of bowel disorder.

Constipation, which becomes more and more chronic with advancing years, frequently makes the burden of old age seem heavy indeed. Yet in most cases constipation can be entirely prevented by a little care in the matter of diet and by supplying in Nujol an efficient substitute for the mucus which exhausted nature no longer provides.

Nujol is not a bowel stimulant. It acts as an internal lubricant, softening the contents of the intestines and so promoting normal evacuations.

Your druggist has Nujol. Avoid substitutes. Nujol is sold only in pint bottles bearing the Nujol trademark.

STANDARD OIL COMPANY
(New Jersey)

Bayonne New Jersey

MCCARTHY

# Nujol
## FOR CONSTIPATION

Send for booklet, "THE RATIONAL TREATMENT OF CONSTIPATION." Write your name and address plainly below.

Dept. 15

No Medical Terms.
Up to date.

## STALL'S BOOKS
8 Books on Avoided Subjects

What a Young Boy Ought to Know

What a Young Man Ought to Know

What a Young Husband Ought to Know

What a Man of 45 Ought to Know

What a Young Girl Ought to Know

What a Young Woman Ought to Know

What a Young Wife Ought to Know

What a Woman of 45 Ought to Know

8 Books, $1 each, post free. Table contents free.

Vir Publishing Co.
482 Church Building, 15th and Race Streets
Philadelphia, Pa.

FOR MEN OF BRAINS
Cortez CIGARS
-MADE AT KEY WEST-

Name

Address

City

State

460

LIFE

Seven Love Scenes from
SEVEN DEADLY SINS

GEORGE LE GUERE as Adam Moore, the lover
SHIRLEY MASON as Eve Leslie, the beloved

These Lovers are Kept apart by
SEVEN DEADLY SINS

EVE LESLIE is young, beautiful, appealing. Wealth, luxury, social success—all of her heart's desires—are within her reach. But they have a price.

Adam Moore is a virile young American with ideals and the ability to achieve them. He is struggling to gain success—and the heart of Eve Leslie.

Eve admires Adam and yet—other men offer her immediate wealth and social power. She is tempted to take the short and easy road to success; she does not see the dangers; she does not know that Seven Deadly Sins are waiting to ensnare her.

Adam fights for her. The lovers escape from one trap to face another, always there is a deadly sin waiting to enmesh them.

Will Adam's love conquer at last? Will he triumph with his sweetheart over the in-sidious forces arrayed against them?

These great stars will act the story for the films

Ann Murdock
star of "Envy"

Holbrook Blinn
star of "Pride"

Nance O'Neill
star of "Greed"

H. B. Warner
star of "Wrath"

Charlotte Walker
star of "Sloth"

These questions a million readers of The Ladies' World are asking. These questions will absorb your interest if you follow Florence Morse Kingsley's great series of stories through The Ladies' World.

Seven Deadly Sins is now on the screen.

Your enjoyment of this series of seven five-reel photoplays—each play exemplifying one of the Seven Deadly Sins—will be trebled if you first become familiar with its characters and their romantic adventures in The Ladies' World.

THE LADIES' WORLD

Free!

Shirley
Mason's
Surprise
Package!

Write in margin your name and address and name and street of theatre in which you desire to see Seven Deadly Sins. Tear off and mail to Motion Picture Editor, The Ladies' World, 261 4th Ave., New York. A Surprise Package from the youngest and prettiest star of the films will be sent to you FREE.

To be “in style” doesn’t always mean to be comfortable. But style and comfort are twins in every pair of Fownes gloves . . .

Good to look at—
Good to wear.

It's a
FOWNES

that's all you need to
know about a GLOVE.

Henry and John

HIS Royal Financial Highness, J. Pierpont Morgan, with a large sheaf of gilt-edged securities under his arm, was just entering his palatial bank building when whom should he meet but Henry Ford.

"Ah, Henry, delighted," said Mr. Morgan, in well-bred fatherly tones. "How is the state of your exchequer this morning? Do you know, I was just thinking of you. Won't you come in and have a chat?"

"Thanks. I don't care if I do."

"Now," said Mr. Morgan, when they were comfortably seated in his private office, "I was just thinking what a wonderful man you'd be if you went in for finance a little more."

"Finance?"

"Yes. Finance. Money-making. My dear boy, you think you're rich. The fact is you're a mere pauper compared with what you would be if you only followed one or two of the broad principles which I could easily lay down to you."

"Yes, but I'm rich enough already. Too rich, in fact."

"Bosh, Henry! That's just your back-woods unsophisticated way of looking at it. In the bright lexicon of Wall Street there is no such thing as too much money. Nobody is rich enough, because there is really nothing else worth while but money."

"You don't mean that, John."

"I mean if you have money, you can buy everything else, such as love and friendship and respect and digestion and things like that. Now, the thing for you to do is to let me underwrite you. You agree to raise the price of your product to the highest possible price and screw your employees down to the lowest possible point. That will bring the maximum of profit. Then I'll agree to set the printing press going on great quantities of the handsomest stock certifi

LIFE

461

INDIVIDUALITY

in your footwear is the secret of YOUR effectiveness. We make your shoes to your order just as a Tailor makes your gown —to suit your ideas and taste,

Any Style—any Materials—any Colors, to match any costume.

Write for booklet of models and self measurement instructions.

NUMBER FORTY-FOUR
Fancy Afternoon Pump
In white kid or any other color material. Price $18.00.

E. HAYES
9 West 29th St. New York

cates you ever saw. These we'll sell to the public everywhere at a tremendous profit. It will be unprecedented. Just think of the sensation you will make."

"But I don't want to make a sensation, John. I want to make automobiles and I want to make farm tractors and I want to make friends and I want to make happiness."

"Your modesty is becoming, Henry. If you don't want to make a sensation I will ask you merely to think of the enormous sums of money you will make."

"But I don't want to make money, John. I want to make automobiles and tractors and friends and happiness."

"Yes, yes, I know. I believe in philanthropy and all that sort of thing, but the first step toward philanthropy is to get the people's money away from them. If you don't take their money away from them first, they won't need philanthropy."

"That's just what I'd like to see, John; a state of affairs where the public won't need philanthropy."

"Don't talk nonsense, Henry. The public isn't worth the attention you're giving to it. Now, if you'll come with me, I will introduce you to some really nice people. You will enjoy yourself in true aristocratic fashion, talking at the opera, dressing up at the Horse Show and drinking at various polite functions. I will take you up to my tailor's and he will provide you with a distinctive outfit for every different occasion. What more

What Do
You Know

about

Evans'
Stout

The Old-Fashioned
Spring Tonic

In Bottles and Splits Leading Dealers

BACARDI

TRY IT!

MAKES THE PERFECT
COCKTAIL, HIGHBALL OR RICKEY.

Folder containing recipes of famous Bacardi drinks mailed on request

D. S. DEJONGH.

127 Water Street, New York

REPUTATION: It is one thing to have a reputation and sometimes quite another and a very different thing to deserve one.

ESTABLISHED, and therefore deserved, is the high repute of the Buda Motor. It is based on reliable, long-lived, economical, efficient performance, the result of 36 years of the highest grade of manufacturing.

The BUDA MOTOR

is an expression of our one ideal—Quality; and this is attained through conservative engineering plus conscientious workmanship and the fact that—

OUR CAPACITY, though large, has grown solely on the basis of the number of motors we could produce carefully, test thoroughly, guarantee positively. It is kept squarely on that basis. When a BUDA MOTOR goes into your assembly our reputation goes with it. We cannot afford to forget that, and—*neither can you*.

THE BUDA COMPANY, HARVEY, (Chicago, Suburb) ILLINOIS

could an aristocratic heart wish for?"

"But that sort of thing doesn't appeal to me, John."

"Doesn't appeal to you?"

"No. What I want to do is to make automobiles and farm tractors and friends and happiness."

"Well, I guess you're hopeless, Henry."

"Perhaps I am, John. There's no accounting for tastes, you know. Good-bye, John."

"Good-bye, Henry. If you ever reform, drop around. I can make you rich."

"READ the directions on the bottle, Mandy."

"It sez: 'For adults, one teaspoon—'"

"Thunder! That ain't what ails me—what else does it say?"

—Boston Transcript.

"TAKEN from the county gaol By a set of curious chances," sang Nanki Poo, and celebrated the event by going at once to the local newsdealer of Titipu to leave a standing order for LIFE.

462

LIFE

“Your ‘Bicycles’, Sir”

AT the club, on the train, in the home, wherever men seek recreation from business cares in a friendly game of cards, Bicycle Cards have the call. For a man to think of cards is for him to think of “Bicycles”. When he asks for a deck of cards, he expects

BICYCLE PLAYING CARDS

All the qualities of a playing card that help make card-playing a pleasure are Bicycle qualities. Bicycle Cards have the feel, the finish and, above all, the all-round excellence of manufacture that makes them as good on the last deal of an evening’s play as on the first. For general, every day, any day use, more satisfactory cards cannot be made or bought, yet the regular price of Bicycles is very reasonable. Ivory or Air-Cushion Finish. Club Indexes. Sold everywhere.

**Congress Cards**—The de luxe brand for social play. Art backs of famous paintings in full color. Gold Edges. Air-Cushion Finish.

**Paine's Card Trays**—For all duplicate games. Ingeniously designed. Beautifully finished. Every purchaser is entitled to a free correspondence course in Whist. If your dealer cannot supply you, we will. Satisfaction guaranteed. Write for illustrated, descriptive circular.

**You Need This Book**—New revised edition of “The Official Rules of Card Games”. Over 300 games. 250 pages. Substantially bound. Mailed postpaid for 15 cents in stamps.

THE U. S. PLAYING CARD CO.

Department C-6

Cincinnati, U. S. A.

Toronto, Canada

“PUT AWAY YOUR MONEY, MA. THIS IS ON ME.”

Doctor's Duty

COULD I know in all my lifetime, Some wizard way, What a village doctor *has* to Know every day;

Could I do in half a decade, By magic power, What a village doctor's *got* to Do hour by hour;

Could I be the kinds of wonder He *has* to be, I should be a Bacon, Caesar, And—Deity!

Amos R. Wells.

A Cynic's Catechism

ADVERTISERS pay magazine editors more for their “ads,” which *must* be read to be worth paying for, than the editors pay the authors who write the supposed reading section of the same magazine. Does that explain why the advertisements are better reading than the reading section proper?

In most all communities church spires tower majestically over surrounding structures, symbolizing, we are told, the power of the church over all things mundane. In New York (City) church steeples are insignificant in comparison with the sky-scrapers of business. Is that in turn symbolic of the power of Mammon in New York?

If you believe in the future life, the reunion of spirits in the Beyond, how are you betting on the pleasures of the three and four times married and divorced when they are spiritually “reunited”?

The use of stained-glass windows, we know, is one method of keeping “light” from penetrating where it is unwelcome. Does that explain why most churches revel in stained glass?

Speaking of the “cost of high living,” prices on monopolistic necessities have steadily gone up. How long will it be before we hear that the monopolies themselves have “gone up”?

DUNLOP
GOLF BALLS

are all British-made!

DUNLOPS are made by men who have had long experience in making golf balls that drive for record distances and putt surely, steadily, accurately.

Try these famous DUNLOPS!

“29” medium “31” heavy

For sale by golf professionals

DUNLOP RUBBER CO., Ltd.,

Birmingham,
Eng.

I

“Mum”

(as easy to use as to say)

keeps the body
fresh and sweet

from bath to bath by neutralizing perspiration odors. Applied in a minute. Harmless to skin and clothing.

25c—sold by 9 out of 10 drug- and department-stores.
“MUM” MFG CO 1106 Chestnut St Philadelphia

Erected easily and quickly. Taken down just as readily and moved to any desired new location. Weatherproof, fireproof, timeproof. Wonderfully durable. Whatever the need—garage, booth, boathouse, office, storehouse, school, cottage, barn, hospital, or factory, there's an Edwards Steel Building for the purpose. Write today for descriptive literature and prices.

The Edwards Manufacturing Company
1336-1386 Eggleston Avenue Cincinnati, Ohio

PETER J. CAREY, PRINTER

LIFE

Franklin D. Dooly

LONGEVITY

The purchaser of a Pierce-Arrow secures a car of life-long durability at a cost which, when spread over years of service, over continents of travel, is insignificant. Its natural age is greater than that of lesser cars, just as the natural age of the oak is greater than that of the birch. It has not yet realized all of its potential mileage because it is still too young. Frequent requests for instruction books for Pierce-Arrow cars built eight, nine or ten years ago show that cars at least that old are starting service anew in the hands of new owners.

THE PIERCE • ARROW MOTOR CAR CO • BUFFALO N Y

PIERCE
ARROW

• LIFE •

March 15, 1917

## THE TREASURE CHEST

Piled high from floor to roof the bales of close-packed leaves, gold-brown with the sunshine of the Turkish fields, are waiting for slow time to season them to perfect ripeness. The moist breath of the great humidor is rich with their aromatic perfume.

Beneath the shaded lamp the familiar red box lies open. Released by the flare of the lighted match, the smoke uncurls and rises in the stillness of the book-lined room, a fragrant incense—PALL MALL—the synonym of excellence.

-at good places you need not mention the name. Just ask for the best cigarette.

Plain or Cork

A Shilling in London
A Quarter Here