-25-

TO IT THAT OUR NATION REMAINS THE HOPE OF THE WORLD. WHEN I WAS A BOY LIVING UNDER A DICTATORSHIP, AMERICA ACQUIRED FOR ME A QUALITY OF HOPE WHICH IT HAS NEVER LOST. IT WAS THEN AND IS NOW A WONDROUS PLACE WHERE TOLERANCE IS NATURAL AND FREEDOM FUNDAMENTAL. IT IS THE COUNTRY WHOSE STRENGTH AND DECENCY AND COURAGEOUS LEADERSHIP ARE ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL IF THERE IS TO BE PEACE, SECURITY AND JUSTICE ANYWHERE. I HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THOSE WHO USE EVERY IMPERFECTION AS AN EXCUSE TO ASSAULT OUR INSTITUTIONS AND VALUES. AMERICA, ALONE AMONG THE GREAT DEMOCRACIES, IS IN A POSITION TO PROTECT THE PEACE AND TO LEAD IN THE BUILDING OF A JUST WORLD ORDER. WHAT WE DO MATTERS FOR ALL MANKIND. AND WE CAN HAVE ONLY ONE PRESIDENT AT A TIME. HE REPRESENTS THE HOPES OF ALL AMERICANS. FREEDOM AND PROGRESS EVERYWHERE DEPEND ON HIS DECISIONS. IF HE SUCCEEDS, WE ALL SUCCEED, DEMOCRATS REPUBLICANS, ALFALFANS.

-26-

WE CANNOT ALWAYS AGREE WITH OUR GOVERNMENT. BUT AFTER
A DECADE OF TURMOIL WE MUST ALWAYS SHOW COMPASSION AND
UNDERSTANDING. THE WORLD NEEDS OUR STRENGTH AND OUR PURPOSE
WHICH COME ONLY FROM OUR UNITY. AND I KNOW THAT I SPEAK
FOR ALL ALFALFANS WHEN I SAY THAT WE SHALL ALWAYS DEDICATE
OURSELVES TO THIS END.

IN CONCLUSION MY FELLOW ALFALFANS, YOU HAVE MADE ME
VERY HAPPY BY INVITING ME TO SPEAK HERE TONIGHT. LIKE ALL
OF YOU, I WAS THRILLED TO HEAR ME.

THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT.

I WILL END THE CARTER ADMINISTRATION'S POLICY OF FIRING US ATTORNEYS FROM THE *OPPOSITE* PARTY AND RETURN TO THE NON-PARTISAN APPROACH OF THE PREVIOUS ADMINISTRATION WHICH GOT RID OF THREE ATTORNEY GENERALS OF ITS *OWN* PARTY.

Address of Richard M. Nixon
Accepting the Nomination for President of
the United States on the Alfalfa Club Ticket
Alfalfa Club Dinner
Washington, D. C. - January 23, 1965

(Off-the-Record)

With faith in America, faith in her people, and faith in her ideals, I accept the nomination for President of the United States.

(This is a recorded announcement).

I have mixed emotions about your nomination -- I want it -- but, where were you when I needed you last July?

Incidentally, I am aware that this meeting is off the record but I hereby authorize you to leak word of my nomination to the press.

It would certainly help my average.

I thank you for the nomination on behalf of my wife, Pat Bird, my daughters, Julie Bird and Tricia Bird, and my car, Thunder Bird.

I would also thank you on behalf of my dog, Checker Bird, but, as you know, unfortunately she died this year.

Now *she* is up in heaven with *Her*.

*Him's* on earth with *him*.

But enough of this "me tooism." What America wants is a *choice* not an *echo*.

If Lyndon wants to go to the *dogs*, I'm going to switch to *cats*.

And, when I am President we will have a *Cat* House rather than a *Dog* House in the *White House*.

- 2 -

I can say with my usual modesty that I am the ideal candidate for
President on the Alfalfa ticket ---

Or on any ticket -- you name it.

I am in no position to be choosy.

What qualifications does Alfalfa look for in its candidates?

The acceptance speeches of the candidates Alfalfa has nominated
over the years is enlightening on that score.

Let me take you down memory lane for a moment:

1953. Bob Jackson pledging to appoint the best tax collectors
money can buy.

1954. Cabot Lodge announcing his Cabinet. (I wish he hadn't tried to announce *mine*.)

1958. Charlie Halleck predicting victory for the Alfalfa ticket because as he put it: -- "A lot of people aren't buying the Republicans and it has been established that nobody can afford the Democrats."

1962. Barry Goldwater accepting the nomination with these eloquent words -- "No one with a spark of patriotism could turn down a chance to advance his family."

1963. Arthur Krock characterized an *Alfalfa* nomination as the "hollowest honor which can be conferred on anyone by anyone in the *entire* United States."

(That's not my attitude. I say if its the only one you can get -- don't knock it.)

1964. George Champion coming up with his brilliant agricultural program -- "The way to get rid of the corn surplus is to drink it."

What happened to these splendid candidates?

History records that the only Alfalfa candidate who ever
got possession of the White House was General Edgerton. And he proceeded
to *sell* it brick by brick.

- 3 -

All of our candidates had one thing in common -- they lost.

If that's what you're looking for, I don't know why you took so long to get around to me.

I admit the competition on that score is pretty keen here tonight.

Never, in one room, has there been assembled such a distinguished group of candidates who ran for President and lost:

Goldwater, Dewey, Stevenson, Thurmond, Stassen.

But enough talk about losing. This year we can win.

I have determined that the major problem confronting Alfalfa's candidates in the past has been the reluctance of voters to support a *third* party.

Well, after what happened to the *Republican* Party in 1964, we don't have *that* problem any more.

What America needs *now* is a *second* party.

Alfalfa must fill the party gap.

I think my fellow-Alfalfans are first entitled to know my choice for Vice President.

There is only one logical candidate for that office -- Lyndon Baines Johnson.

But some might say, would he *accept* the nomination for *Vice President* since he is already *President* of the United States?

I'll concede he *was* elected President, although I'll never know why Barry Goldwater didn't ask for a recount.

But, while Lyndon Johnson is President of the United States he is also a member of the Alfalfa Club. And, as every loyal Alfalfan knows -- the call of Alfalfa comes first.

The real question is would I be willing to accept him as my running mate?

Well, if *Lyndon* could take *Hubert* -- I can take *Lyndon*.

- 4 -

Well, now that we have _our_ ticket settled, let's take a look at
our opponents.

On the Democratic side, with Johnson running for Vice President on
the Alfalfa ticket that, of course, leaves the Democratic Presidential
nomination to Hubert - _uncontested_.

But what about Bobby Kennedy?

He no longer wants the nomination.

His _ambition_ hasn't changed but he figures why go _out_ to work when
he is fast becoming the father of his country at _home_.

Bobby's problem is that now that he and Ethel have nine children
they don't know whether to start _now_ and have their own baseball team or
to _wait_ a few years and have their own Supreme Court.

Now, let's look at the Republicans.

(If you find any -- let me know.)

As you know, Barry Goldwater has indicated he doesn't plan to
_walk_ again in 1968.

Actually, gentlemen, the Republican losses in 1964 can be very
easily explained -- Barry Goldwater _peaked_ too early.

When people ask _me_ what happened in 1964, I have a simple, honest
reply.

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that any answer I might give
would tend to incriminate me."

I don't think we have to worry too much about the Republicans in
1968. ---

I understand the Republican nominee will have the _full_ support of
Nelson Rockefeller -- again.

- 6 -

I don't mean to suggest that Lyndon will be easy to beat.

But I have some things going for me too. After all, look at my
political background.

I can say, without fear of contradiction, that I have studied with
the best.

After all, my political tutor was General Eisenhower.

General Eisenhower taught me many things about practical politics.

And, if you give me a week, I might think of one.

As for my *educational* qualifications. I am a graduate of two
colleges -- Whittier and Duke.

(And I would have graduated from the Electoral College if I
hadn't flunked debating).

As far as my tactics are concerned, I will campaign exclusively
on television.

(After all, nobody in America knows what television can do **to** a
candidate better than I do.)

I shall be generous with my opponent and will even split my TV
time with him.

And if he needs a make-up man, I will loan him the guy who made
me up for that first debate in 1960.

I pledge to put on the greatest campaign in history. In Charlie
Halleck's poetic English -- this is gonna be a **gut** fight.

We are going to throw everything at our opponents -- including
the kitchen sink -- if Khrushchev will give it back to me.

For example, I have just learned that the White House is trying to
suppress a shocking piece of information involving a high-ranking member of
this Administration who has access to every secret of this nation.

I don't like to bring up such an unpleasant subject at an Alfalfa
Meeting.

But, its bound to leak out sooner or later -- Gentlemen, Hubert
Humphrey is an *extrovert*.

- 7 -

Now a word about my philosophy.

I promise you there will be no split in our Party.

I will take all the extreme moderates and the moderate extremists
-- who clog up the middle of the road -- and dump them into the mainstream
-- where I have sunk before.

As for the John Birch Society -- I would, of course, repudiate its
endorsement.

I disagree with many of its extreme positions.

For example, I don't agree that Earl Warren should be impeached.

After all, you don't do that to a man who is seventy-three.

However, I will ask the Congress to reduce the compulsory
retirement age for Chief Justices.

It occurred to me that putting it at seventy-two would accomplish
the purpose I have in mind.

I also disagree with the Birch Society's demands that we get out
of the United Nations.

I believe as long as this country remains in the United Nations
we are proving to the world that we would rather talk than fight -- like
Cassius Clay.

I would, of course, repudiate the support of the Ku Klux Klan.

I disagree with their *principles*.

Now, don't get me wrong -- I'm not going to come out against men
running around from door to door in the dark of night wrapped in bed
sheets. After all, if a motel is raided, you have to go somewhere.

Now, let me turn to Alfalfa's specific programs for a greater
society.

- 8 -

Let me begin with the Vice Presidency.

I pledge to upgrade that office.

I admit this will be difficult.

After all, Hubert Humphrey is head of the Administration's Equality of Opportunity Program, Chairman of the National Aeronautics and Space Council and Coordinator of Civil Rights activities in various executive agencies.

That gives him a pretty full day before he even gets to his horseback riding lessons.

(Hubert will probably go down in history as Vice President Tonto).

I think it is wonderful how our President and Vice President get along so well together. They agree on just about everything -- except dancing.

You will notice when the President goes from party to party and dances with all the women, Hubert usually doesn't go along.

I think it is because he doesn't want Johnson to see him trying to lead.

I want to turn now to the Supreme Court.

I want the record to show that I have respect for that great judicial institution.

I am sure you are all aware that we omitted the usual invocation this evening -- in deference to those members of the Supreme Court who are with us.

As your candidate, however, I would - of course - put prayers back in the schools.

I believe our children have a right to know about *heaven* as it is *now* -- before Earl Warren decides to *reapportion* it.

- 9 -

And, speaking of reapportionment -- there is one place in the United States where I personally will see to it that the one-man, one-vote is put into effect -- Cook County, Illinois.

(We might even make it retroactive).

I would, of course, continue the Presidential practice of signing every bill with a multitude of pens and then give them away as souvenirs.

One of my proudest possessions is one of the pens Lyndon used when he signed the bill which put Fort Knox in his wife's name.

Now, as for the TVA -- I want to go on record right here and now -- I will not sell the TVA!!

He's put *that* in Lady Bird's name too.

Turning to our nation's space effort, my Administration will concentrate on *midnight* launchings.

Because if Lyndon Johnson can promise you the *sun* in the *morning*-- we'll go him one better and give you the *moon* at *night*.

As for the United Nations, I will insist that Russia pay up her back dues -- even if we have to take some of the payment in American wheat.

As your President, I will travel to the troubled spots of the world.

In that connection, I was happy to note that President Johnson has indicated that he might visit Russia this year and that he was also planning to go to Europe and Latin America.

If his Latin America trip brings him to Venezuela, I hope he will look up all of my old friends in Caracas.

Caracas is what you might call a real *fun* town -- I got *stoned* there once and I'll *never* forget it.

- 10 -

I have no illusions about problems overseas -- it seems, no
matter what this country does to aid other countries -- it's still not
enough.

Now, take the Congo --- <u>please</u>.

Now we are going to great expense to send Peace Corpsmen to the
Congo -- and does that satisfy the Congolese?

Not at all -- they complain that they are too <u>thin</u>.

As your President, I will put an end to the population explosion.

I assure you -- there will be none of that stuff during a
Nixon Administration.

As far as immigration is concerned, I say there's something wrong
with a policy which drives Elizabeth Taylor <u>out</u> and won't let Christine
Keeler <u>in</u>.

With all we do for the <u>underdeveloped</u> -- why not bring in
something that's <u>really</u> developed?

Just think what Christine Keeler could do under our <u>Free</u>
Enterprise system.

Speaking of Christine - she's a paradox -- why was a girl
like that fooling around in a <u>Conservative Cabinet</u> -- it seems to me
she'd do much better <u>in Labor</u>.

But -- enough about <u>Foreign Affairs</u>.

I will reduce government costs by trimming the Federal payroll.

I will begin by abolishing the Cabinet.

All I will need is a <u>Kitchen Cabinet</u>.

I'll admit I may be a flop on TV but I do better in a Kitchen.

- 11 -

In conclusion, we must not underestimate our opponents.

This nation has come a long way since World War II ...... from
the Fair Deal to the Great Society -- from Harry Truman's "GIVE 'EM HELL"
-- to Lyndon Johnson's "GIVE 'EM HEAVEN."

But, here is my strategy for victory:

Lyndon Johnson promises you heaven on earth and everytime it snows
he thinks he's fulfilled it.

But, I'll go him one better.

I will promise every man and woman in America a Garden of Eden --

And then we can all turn over a new leaf.

My fellow-Alfalfans, I would like to close on a personal note:

In 1946, as a young man, I accepted a nomination to the Congress
of the United States.

In 1950, I accepted a nomination to the United States Senate.

In 1952 and again in 1956, I accepted the nomination to the Vice Presidency.

In 1960, I accepted a nomination for President.

In 1962, I accepted a nomination for Governor of California.

(The trouble with my political career - come to think of it -
is that I have been _over-nominated_ and _under-elected_.)

And now here tonight you offer me the nomination for the Presidency
once again.

My fellow-Alfalfans, this is the mountain-top experience of my
life.

REMARKS OF THE HONORABLE JOHN B. CONNALLY

ALFALFA CLUB, January 24, 1976

Thank you, Chuck. (Percy)

President of the Alfalfa Club . . . . . Honorable members of the Dais, Distinguished guests . . . . . . and my Fellow Alfalfans . . . . . . As I proudly and gratefully accept your nomination for the Presidency of these great United States . . . . . . I call to your attention that all of the fine beef served in this room tonight was a gift to The Alfalfa Club from my ranch in Texas. And the fact that so many of you ate it pleases me greatly . . . . . . since it puts to rest all those rumors that a lot of you elite Easterners could never swallow Connally's Bull.

However, I hold no grudges against any man . . . . . . I have found that time wounds all heels.

I have been asked to make an announcement.

Will all of you please leave your names and home addresses at the door as you leave here tonight. Bill Simon is putting you all down for dinner, and he'll need the information for his tax returns.

I will be very brief tonight. I am aware most of you are eager to get home to the late news and see who else won in Iowa.

[10]

Now as you know the President had his annual physical examination this afternoon at Bethesda Naval Hospital. I am _mighty_ happy to report that Doctor Lugash went over the President from _head_ to _toe_ . . . . . . and found him to be in _excellent_ physical condition . . . . . . a little _black_ and _blue_ . . . . . . but in _excellent_ physical condition.

Unfortunately, the President is not with us tonight. He and _Bo Callaway_ are having a _Strategy Meeting_ with _all_ of the _political experts on Bo's Staff_ . . . . . . . in the _Guard House_ at the _Southwest Gate_.

After which they plan to convene in the White House _mess_ . . . . . which is just _down_ the _hall_ from where they _eat_.

Oh I know a lot of you kid about Bo, but I think you'll have to agree, that so far he's done a wonderful job in this campaign . . . . . . for Ronald Reagan.

Or . . . . . as Ronnie's known to you late night television viewers . . . . . . the _Rerun_ _Romeo_.