#define NULL ((void *)0)
typedef unsigned long size_t; // Customize by platform.
typedef long intptr_t;
typedef unsigned long uintptr_t;
typedef long scalar_t__; // Either arithmetic or pointer type.
/* By default, we understand bool (as a convenience). */
typedef int bool;
#define false 0
#define true 1

/* Forward declarations */

/* Type definitions */

/* Variables and functions */
int /*<<< orphan*/ printf(char *, ...);
int strlen(char *);
int main() {
  long age;
  printf("I am %d years old!\n", age);
  printf("Wait... no... that's the SIZE of a long int in C.\n");
  age = 29;
  printf("I am %d years old!\n", age);
  char *
      MulveyswasthefirstwhenIwasinbedthatmorningandMrsRubiobroughtitinwiththecoffeeshestoodtherestandingwhenIaskedhertohandmeandIpointingatthemIcouldntthinkofthewordahairpintoopenitwithahhorquilladisobligingoldthinganditstaringherinthefacewithherswitchoffalsehaironherandvainaboutherappearanceuglyasshewasnear80oralooherfaceamassofwrinkleswithallherreligiondomineeringbecauseshenevercouldgetovertheAtlanticfleetcominginhalftheshipsoftheworldandtheUnionJackflyingwithallhercarabinerosbecause4drunkenEnglishsailorstookalltherockfromthemandbecauseIdidntrunintomassoftenenoughinSantaMariatopleaseherwithhershawluponherexceptwhentherewasamarriageonwithallhermiraclesofthesaintsandherblackblessedvirginwiththesilverdressandthesundancing3timesonEasterSundaymorningandwhenthepriestwasgoingbywiththebellbringingthevaticantothedyingblessingherselfforhisMajestadanadmirerhesigneditInearjumpedoutofmyskinIwantedtopickhimupwhenIsawhimfollowingmealongtheCalleRealintheshopwindowthenhetippedmejustinpassingbutIneverthoughthedwritemakinganappointmentIhaditinsidemypetticoatbodicealldayreadingitupineveryholeandcornerwhilefatherwasupatthedrillinstructingtofindoutbythehandwritingorthelanguageofstampssingingIremembershallIwearawhiteroseandIwantedtoputontheoldstupidclocktonearthetimehewasthefirstmankissedmeundertheMoorishwallmysweetheartwhenaboyitneverenteredmyheadwhatkissingmeanttillheputhistongueinmymouthhismouthwassweetlikeyoungIputmykneeuptohimafewtimestolearnthewaywhatdidItellhimIwasengagedforforfuntothesonofaSpanishnoblemannamedDonMigueldelaFloraandhebelievedmethatIwastobemarriedtohimin3yearstimetheresmanyatruewordspokeninjestthereisaflowerthatbloomethafewthingsItoldhimtrueaboutmyselfjustforhimtobeimaginingtheSpanishgirlshedidntlikeIsupposeoneofthemwouldnthavehimIgothimexcitedhecrushedalltheflowersonmybosomhebroughtmehecouldntcountthepesetasandtheperragordastillItaughthimCappoquinhecamefromhesaidontheblackwaterbutitwastooshortthenthedaybeforeheleftMayyesitwasMaywhentheinfantkingofSpainwasbornImalwayslikethatinthespringIdlikeanewfelloweveryyearuponthetiptopundertherockgunnearOHarastowerItoldhimitwasstruckbylightningandallabouttheoldBarbaryapestheysenttoClaphamwithoutatailcareeringallovertheshowoneachothersbackMrsRubiosaidshewasaregularoldrockscorpionrobbingthechickensoutofIncesfarmandthrowstonesatyouifyouwentanearhewaslookingatmeIhadthatwhiteblouseonopeninthefronttoencouragehimasmuchasIcouldwithouttooopenlytheywerejustbeginningtobeplumpIsaidIwastiredwelayoverthefirtreecoveawildplaceIsupposeitmustbethehighestrockinexistencethegalleriesandcasematesandthosefrightfulrocksandSaintMichaelscavewiththeiciclesorwhatevertheycallthemhangingdownandladdersallthemudplotchingmybootsImsurethatsthewaydownthemonkeysgoundertheseatoAfricawhentheydietheshipsoutfarlikechipsthatwastheMaltaboatpassingyestheseaandtheskyyoucoulddowhatyoulikedliethereforeverhecaressedthemoutsidetheylovedoingthatitstheroundnessthereIwasleaningoverhimwithmywhitericestrawhattotakethenewnessoutofittheleftsideofmyfacethebestmyblouseopenforhislastdaytransparentkindofshirthehadIcouldseehischestpinkhewantedtotouchminewithhisforamomentbutIwouldntleehimhewasawfullyputoutfirstforfearyouneverknowconsumptionorleavemewithachildembarazadathatoldservantInestoldmethatonedropevenifitgotintoyouatallafterItriedwiththeBananabutIwasafraiditmightbreakandgetlostupinmesomewherebecausetheyoncetooksomethingdownoutofawomanthatwasupthereforyearscoveredwithlimesaltstheyreallmadtogetintherewheretheycomeoutofyoudthinktheycouldnevergofarenoughupandthentheyredonewithyouinawaytillthenexttimeyesbecausetheresawonderfulfeelingtheresotenderallthetimehowdidwefinishitoffyesOyesIpulledhimoffintomyhandkerchiefpretendingnottobeexcitedbutIopenedmylegsIwouldntlethimtouchmeinsidemypetticoatbecauseIhadaskirtopeningupthesideItormentedthelifeoutofhimfirstticklinghimIlovedrousingthatdoginthehotelrrrssssttawokwokawokhiseyesshutandabirdflyingbelowushewasshyallthesameIlikedhimlikethatmoaningImadehimblushalittlewhenIgotoverhimthatwaywhenIunbuttonedhimandtookhisoutanddrewbacktheskinithadakindofeyeinittheyreallButtonsmendownthemiddleonthewrongsideofthemMollydarlinghecalledmewhatwashisnameJackJoeHarryMulveywasityesIthinkalieutenanthewasratherfairhehadalaughingkindofavoicesoIwentroundtothewhatyoucalliteverythingwaswhatyoucallitmoustachehadhehesaidhedcomebackLorditsjustlikeyesterdaytomeandifIwasmarriedheddoittomeandIpromisedhimyesfaithfullyIdlethimblockmenowflyingperhapshesdeadorkilledoracaptainoradmiralitsnearly20yearsifIsaidfirtreecovehewouldifhecameupbehindmeandputhishandsovermyeyestoguesswhoImightrecognisehimhesyoungstillabout40perhapshesmarriedsomegirlontheblackwaterandisquitechangedtheyalldotheyhaventhalfthecharacterawomanhasshelittleknowswhatIdidwithherbelovedhusbandbeforeheeverdreamtofherinbroaddaylighttoointhesightofthewholeworldyoumightsaytheycouldhaveputanarticleaboutitintheChronicleIwasabitwildafterwhenIblewouttheoldbagthebiscuitswereinfromBenadyBrosandexplodeditLordwhatabangallthewoodcocksandpigeonsscreamingcomingbackthesamewaythatwewentovermiddlehillroundbytheoldguardhouseandthejewsburialplacepretendingtoreadouttheHebrewonthemIwantedtofirehispistolhesaidhehadntonehedidntknowwhattomakeofmewithhispeakcaponthathealwaysworecrookedasoftenasIsettleditstraightHMSCalypsoswingingmyhatthatoldBishopthatspokeoffthealtarhislongpreachaboutwomanshigherfunctionsaboutgirlsnowridingthebicycleandwearingpeakcapsandthenewwomanbloomersGodsendhimsenseandmemoremoneyIsupposetheyrecalledafterhimIneverthoughtthatwouldbemynameBloomwhenIusedtowriteitinprinttoseehowitlookedonavisitingcardorpractisingforthebutcherandobligeMBloomyourelookingbloomingJosieusedtosayafterImarriedhimwellitsbetterthanBreenorBriggsdoesbrigorthoseawfulnameswithbottominthemMrsRamsbottomorsomeotherkindofabottomMulveyIwouldntgomadabouteitherorsupposeIdivorcedhimMrsBoylanmymotherwhoevershewasmighthavegivenmeanicernametheLordknowsafterthelovelyoneshehadLunitaLaredothefunwehadrunningalongWillissroadtoEuropapointtwistinginandoutallroundtheothersideofJerseytheywereshakinganddancingaboutinmyblouselikeMillyslittleonesnowwhensherunsupthestairsIlovedlookingdownatthemIwasjumpingupatthepeppertreesandthewhitepoplarspullingtheleavesoffandthrowingthemathimhewenttoIndiahewastowritethevoyagesthosemenhavetomaketotheendsoftheworldandbackitstheleasttheymightgetasqueezeortwoatawomanwhiletheycangoingouttobedrownedorblownupsomewhereIwentupWindmillhilltotheflatsthatSundaymorningwithcaptainRubiosthatwasdeadspyglasslikethesentryhadhesaidhedhaveoneortwofromonboardIworethatfrockfromtheBMarcheparisandthecoralnecklacethestraitsshiningIcouldseeovertoMoroccoalmostthebayofTangierwhiteandtheAtlasmountainwithsnowonitandthestraitslikeariversoclearHarryMollydarlingIwasthinkingofhimontheseaallthetimeafteratmasswhenmypetticoatbegantoslipdownattheelevationweeksandweeksIkeptthehandkerchiefundermypillowforthesmellofhimtherewasnodecentperfumetobegotinthatGibraltaronlythatcheappeaudEspagnethatfadedandleftastinkonyoumorethananythingelseIwantedtogivehimamementohegavemethatclumsyCladdaghringforluckthatIgaveGardnergoingtosouthAfricawherethoseBoerskilledhimwiththeirwarandfeverbuttheywerewellbeatenallthesameasifitbroughtitsbadluckwithitlikeanopalorpearlstillitmusthavebeenpure18carrotgoldbecauseitwasveryheavybutwhatcouldyougetinaplacelikethatthesandfrogshowerfromAfricaandthatderelictshipthatcameuptotheharbourMarietheMariewhatyoucallitnohehadntamoustachethatwasGardneryesIcanseehisfacecleanshavenFrseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrongthattrainagainweepingtoneonceinthedeardeaeaddaysbeyondrecallclosemyeyesbreathmylipsforwardkisssadlookeyesopenpianoereoertheworldthemistsbeganIhatethatistsbegcomeslovessweetsooooooooooongIllletthatoutfullwhenIgetinfrontofthefootlightsagainKathleenKearneyandherlotofsquealersMissThisMissThatMissTheotherlotofsparrowfartsskittingaroundtalkingaboutpoliticstheyknowasmuchaboutasmybacksideanythingintheworldtomakethemselvessomewayinterestingIrishhomemadebeautiessoldiersdaughteramIayandwhoseareyoubootmakersandpublicansIbegyourpardoncoachIthoughtyouwereawheelbarrowtheyddiedowndeadofftheirfeetifevertheygotachanceofwalkingdowntheAlamedaonanofficersarmlikemeonthebandnightmyeyesflashmybustthattheyhaventpassionGodhelptheirpoorheadIknewmoreaboutmenandlifewhenIwasISthantheyllallknowat50theydontknowhowtosingasonglikethatGardnersaidnomancouldlookatmymouthandteethsmilinglikethatandnotthinkofitIwasafraidhemightntlikemyaccentfirsthesoEnglishallfatherleftmeinspiteofhisstampsIvemymotherseyesandfigureanyhowhealwayssaidtheyresosnottyaboutthemselvessomeofthosecadshewasntabitlikethathewasdeadgoneonmylipsletthemgetahusbandfirstthatsfittobelookedatandadaughterlikemineorseeiftheycanexciteaswellwithmoneythatcanpickandchoosewhoeverhewantslikeBoylantodoit4or5timeslockedineachothersarmsorthevoiceeitherIcouldhavebeenaprimadonnaonlyImarriedhimcomesloooovesolddeepdownchinbacknottoomuchmakeitdoubleMyLadysBoweristoolongforanencoreaboutthemoatedgrangeattwilightandvauntedroomsyesIllsingWindsthatblowfromthesouththathegaveafterthechoirstairsperformanceIllchangethatlaceonmyblackdresstoshowoffmybubsandIllyesbyGodIllgetthatbigfanmendedmakethemburstwithenvymyholeisitchingmealwayswhenIthinkofhimIfeelIwanttoIfeelsomewindinmebettergoeasynotwakehimhavehimatitagainslobberingafterwashingeverybitofmyselfbackbellyandsidesifwehadevenabathitselformyownroomanywayIwishhedsleepinsomebedbyhimselfwithhiscoldfeetonmegiveusroomeventoletafartGodordotheleastthingbetteryesholdthemlikethatabitonmysidepianoquietlysweeeeetheresthattrainfarawaypianissimoeeeeeonemoresongthatwasareliefwhereveryoubeletyourwindgofreewhoknowsifthatporkchopItookwithmycupofteaafterwasquitegoodwiththeheatIcouldntsmellanythingoffitImsurethatqueerlookingmanintheporkbutchersisagreatrogueIhopethatlampisnotsmokingfillmynoseupwithsmutsbetterthanhavinghimleavingthegasonallnightIcouldntresteasyinmybedinGibraltarevengettinguptoseewhyamIsodamnednervousaboutthatthoughIlikeitinthewinteritsmorecompanyOLorditwasrottencoldtoothatwinterwhenIwasonlyabouttenwasIyesIhadthebigdollwithallthefunnyclothesdressingherupandundressingthaticywindskeetingacrossfromthosemountainsthesomethingNevadasierranevadastandingatthefirewiththelittlebitofashortshiftIhaduptoheatmyselfIloveddancingaboutinitthenmakearacebackintobedImsurethatfellowoppositeusedtobetherethewholetimewatchingwiththelightsoutinthesummerandIinmyskinhoppingaroundIusedtolovemyselfthenstrippedatthewashstanddabbingandcreamingonlywhenitcametothechamberperformanceIputoutthelighttoosothentherewere2ofusgoodbyetomysleepforthisnightanyhowIhopehesnotgoingtogetinwiththosemedicalsleadinghimastraytoimaginehesyoungagaincominginat4inthemorningitmustbeifnotmorestillhehadthemannersnottowakemewhatdotheyfindtogabberaboutallnightsquanderingmoneyandgettingdrunkeranddrunkercouldnttheydrinkwaterthenhestartsgivingushisordersforeggsandteaandFindonhaddyandhotbutteredtoastIsupposewellhavehimsittinguplikethekingofthecountrypumpingthewrongendofthespoonupanddowninhiseggwhereverhelearnedthatfromandIlovetohearhimfallingupthestairsofamorningwiththecupsrattlingonthetrayandthenplaywiththecatsherubsupagainstyouforherownsakeIwonderhasshefleasshesasbadasawomanalwayslickingandleckingbutIhatetheirclawsIwonderdotheyseeanythingthatwecantstaringlikethatwhenshesitsatthetopofthestairssolongandlisteningasIwaitalwayswhatarobbertoothatlovelyfreshplaceIboughtIthinkIllgetabitoffishtomorrowortodayisitFridayyesIwillwithsomeblancmangewithblackcurrantjamlikelongagonotthose2lbpotsofmixedplumandapplefromtheLondonandNewcastleWilliamsandWoodsgoestwiceasfaronlyforthebonesIhatethoseeelscodyesIllgetanicepieceofcodImalwaysgettingenoughfor3forgettinganywayImsickofthateverlastingbutchersmeatfromBuckleysloinchopsandlegbeefandribsteakandscragofmuttonandcalfsplucktheverynameisenoughorapicnicsupposeweallgaveeachandorlethimpayitandinvitesomeotherwomanforhimwhoMrsFleminganddroveouttothefurryglenorthestrawberrybedswedhavehimexaminingallthehorsestoenailsfirstlikehedoeswiththelettersnonotwithBoylanthereyeswithsomecoldvealandhammixedsandwichestherearelittlehousesdownatthebottomofthebanksthereonpurposebutitsashotasblazeshesaysnotabankholidayanyhowIhatethoseruckofMaryAnncoalboxesoutforthedayWhitMondayisacurseddaytoonowonderthatbeebithimbettertheseasidebutIdneveragaininthislifegetintoaboatwithhimafterhimatBraytellingtheboatmanheknewhowtorowifanyoneaskedcouldheridethesteeplechaseforthegoldcuphedsayyesthenitcameontogetroughtheoldthingcrookedingaboutandtheweightalldownmysidetellingmepulltherightreinsnowpulltheleftandthetideallswampinginfloodsinthroughthebottomandhisoarslippingoutofthestirrupitsamercywewerentalldrownedhecanswimofcoursemenotheresnodangerwhatsoeverkeepyourselfcalminhisflanneltrousersIdliketohavetatteredthemdownoffhimbeforeallthepeopleandgivehimwhatthatonecallsflagellatetillhewasblackandbluedohimallthegoodintheworldonlyforthatlongnosedchapIdontknowwhoheiswiththatotherbeautyBurkeoutoftheCityArmshotelwastherespyingaroundasusualontheslipalwayswherehewasntwantediftherewasarowonyoudvomitabetterfacetherewasnolovelostbetweenusthats1consolationIwonderwhatkindisthatbookhebroughtmeSweetsofSinbyagentlemanoffashionsomeotherMrdeKockIsupposethepeoplegavehimthatnicknamegoingaboutwithhistubefromonewomantoanotherIcouldntevenchangemynewwhiteshoesallruinedwiththesaltwaterandthehatIhadwiththatfeatherallblowyandtossedonmehowannoyingandprovokingbecausethesmelloftheseaexcitedmeofcoursethesardinesandthebreaminCatalanbayroundthebackoftherocktheywerefineallsilverinthefishermensbasketsoldLuiginearahundredtheysaidcamefromGenoaandthetalloldchapwiththeearringsIdontlikeamanyouhavetoclimbuptotogetatIsupposetheyrealldeadandrottenlongagobesidesIdontlikebeingaloneinthisbigbarracksofaplaceatnightIsupposeIllhavetoputupwithitIneverbroughtabitofsaltinevenwhenwemovedintheconfusionmusicalacademyhewasgoingtomakeonthefirstfloordrawingroomwithabrassplateorBloomsprivatehotelhesuggestedgoandruinhimselfaltogetherthewayhisfatherdiddowninEnnislikeallthethingshetoldfatherhewasgoingtodoandmebutIsawthroughhimtellingmeallthelovelyplaceswecouldgoforthehoneymoonVenicebymoonlightwiththegondolasandthelakeofComohehadapicturecutoutofsomepaperofandmandolinesandlanternsOhowniceIsaidwhateverIlikedhewasgoingtodoimmediatelyifnotsoonerwillyoubemymanwillyoucarrymycanheoughttogetaleathermedalwithaputtyrimforalltheplansheinventsthenleavingusherealldayyoudneverknowwhatoldbeggaratthedoorforacrustwithhislongstorymightbeatrampandputhisfootinthewaytopreventmeshuttingitlikethatpictureofthathardenedcriminalhewascalledinLloydsWeeklynews20yearsinjailthenhecomesoutandmurdersanoldwomanforhermoneyimaginehispoorwifeormotherorwhoeversheissuchafaceyoudrunmilesawayfromIcouldntresteasytillIboltedallthedoorsandwindowstomakesurebutitsworseagainbeinglockeduplikeinaprisonoramadhousetheyoughttobeallshotorthecatofninetailsabigbrutelikethatthatwouldattackapooroldwomantomurderherinherbedIdcutthemoffhimsoIwouldnotthathedbemuchusestillbetterthannothingthenightIwassureIheardburglarsinthekitchenandhewentdowninhisshirtwithacandleandapokerasifhewaslookingforamouseaswhiteasasheetfrightenedoutofhiswitsmakingasmuchnoiseashepossiblycouldfortheburglarsbenefitthereisntmuchtostealindeedtheLordknowsstillitsthefeelingespeciallynowwithMillyawaysuchanideaforhimtosendthegirldowntheretolearntotakephotographsonaccountofhisgrandfatherinsteadofsendinghertoSkerrysacademywhereshedhavetolearnnotlikemegettingallISatschoolonlyheddoathinglikethatallthesameonaccountofmeandBoylanthatswhyhediditImcertainthewayheplotsandplanseverythingoutIcouldntturnroundwithherintheplacelatelyunlessIboltedthedoorfirstgavemethefidgetscominginwithoutknockingfirstwhenIputthechairagainstthedoorjustasIwaswashingmyselftherebelowwiththeglovegetonyournervesthendoingthelogladyalldayputherinaglasscasewithtwoatatimetolookatherifheknewshebrokeoffthehandoffthatlittlegimcrackstatuewithherroughnessandcarelessnessbeforesheleftthatIgotthatlittleItalianboytomendsothatyoucantseethejoinfor2shillingswouldnteventeemthepotatoesforyouofcourseshesrightnottoruinherhandsInoticedhewasalwaystalkingtoherlatelyatthetableexplainingthingsinthepaperandshepretendingtounderstandslyofcoursethatcomesfromhissideofthehousehecantsayIpretendthingscanheImtoohonestasamatteroffactandhelpingherintohercoatbutiftherewasanythingwrongwithheritsmeshedtellnothimIsupposehethinksImfinishedoutandlaidontheshelfwellImnotnonoranythinglikeitwellseewellseenowsheswellonforflirtingtoowithTomDevanstwosonsimitatingmewhistlingwiththoserompsofMurraygirlscallingforhercanMillycomeoutpleaseshesingreatdemandtopickwhattheycanoutofherroundinNelsonstreetridingHarryDevansbicycleatnightitsaswellhesentherwheresheisshewasjustgettingoutofboundswantingtogoontheskatingrinkandsmokingtheircigarettesthroughtheirnoseIsmeltitoffherdresswhenIwasbitingoffthethreadofthebuttonIsewedontothebottomofherjacketshecouldnthidemuchfrommeItellyouonlyIoughtnttohavestitcheditanditonheritbringsapartingandthelastplumpuddingtoosplitin2halvesseeitcomesoutnomatterwhattheysayhertongueisabittoolongformytasteyourblouseisopentoolowshesaystomethepancallingthekettleblackbottomandIhadtotellhernottocockherlegsuplikethatonshowonthewindowsillbeforeallthepeoplepassingtheyalllookatherlikemewhenIwasherageofcourseanyoldraglookswellonyouthenagreattouchmenottooinherownwayattheOnlyWayintheTheatreroyaltakeyourfootawayoutofthatIhatepeopletouchingmeafraidofherlifeIdcrushherskirtwiththepleatsalotofthattouchingmustgoonintheatresinthecrushinthedarktheyrealwaystryingtowiggleuptoyouthatfellowinthepitattheGaietyforBeerbohmTreeinTrilbythelasttimeIllevergotheretobesquashedlikethatforanyTrilbyorherbarebumeverytwominutestippingmethereandlookingawayhesabitdaftIthinkIsawhimaftertryingtogetneartwostylishdressedladiesoutsideSwitzerswindowatthesamelittlegameIrecognisedhimonthemomentthefaceandeverythingbuthedidntremembermeyesandshedidntevenwantmetokissherattheBroadstonegoingawaywellIhopeshellgetsomeonetodanceattendanceonherthewayIdidwhenshewasdownwiththemumpsandherglandsswollenwheresthisandwheresthatofcourseshecantfeelanythingdeepyetInevercameproperlytillIwaswhat22orsoitwentintothewrongplacealwaysonlytheusualgirlsnonsenseandgigglingthatConnyConnollywritingtoherinwhiteinkonblackpapersealedwithsealingwaxthoughsheclappedwhenthecurtaincamedownbecausehelookedsohandsomethenwehadMartinHarveyforbreakfastdinnerandsupperIthoughttomyselfafterwardsitmustberealloveifamangivesuphislifeforherthatwayfornothingIsupposethereareafewmenlikethatleftitshardtobelieveinitthoughunlessitreallyhappenedtomethemajorityofthemwithnotaparticleofloveintheirnaturestofindtwopeoplelikethatnowadaysfullupofeachotherthatwouldfeelthesamewayasyoudotheyreusuallyabitfoolishintheheadhisfathermusthavebeenabitqueertogoandpoisonhimselfafterherstillpooroldmanIsupposehefeltlostshesalwaysmakinglovetomythingstoothefewoldragsIhavewantingtoputherhairupatISmypowdertooonlyruinherskinonhershestimeenoughforthatallherlifeafterofcourseshesrestlessknowingshesprettywithherlipssoredapitytheywontstaythatwayIwastoobuttheresnousegoingtothefairwiththethingansweringmelikeafishwomanwhenIaskedtogoforahalfastoneofpotatoesthedaywemetMrsJoeGallaheratthetrottingmatchesandshepretendednottoseeusinhertrapwithFrierythesolicitorwewerentgrandenoughtillIgaveher2damnfinecracksacrosstheearforherselftakethatnowforansweringmelikethatandthatforyourimpudenceshehadmethatexasperatedofcoursecontradictingIwasbadtemperedtoobecausehowwasittherewasaweedintheteaorIdidntsleepthenightbeforecheeseIatewasitandItoldheroverandoveragainnottoleaveknivescrossedlikethatbecauseshehasnobodytocommandherasshesaidherselfwellifhedoesntcorrectherfaithIwillthatwasthelasttimesheturnedontheteartapIwasjustlikethatmyselftheydarentordermeabouttheplaceitshisfaultofcoursehavingthetwoofusslavinghereinsteadofgettinginawomanlongagoamIevergoingtohaveaproperservantagainofcoursethenshedseehimcomingIdhavetoletherknoworshedrevengeitarenttheyanuisancethatoldMrsFlemingyouhavetobewalkingroundafterherputtingthethingsintoherhandssneezingandfartingintothepotswellofcourseshesoldshecanthelpitagoodjobIfoundthatrottenoldsmellydishcloththatgotlostbehindthedresserIknewtherewassomethingandopenedtheareawindowtoletoutthesmellbringinginhisfriendstoentertainthemlikethenighthewalkedhomewithadogifyoupleasethatmighthavebeenmadespeciallySimonDedalussonhisfathersuchacriticiserwithhisglassesupwithhistallhatonhimatthecricketmatchandagreatbigholeinhissockonethinglaughingattheotherandhissonthatgotallthoseprizesforwhateverhewonthemintheintermediateimagineclimbingovertherailingsifanybodysawhimthatknewusIwonderhedidnttearabigholeinhisgrandfuneraltrousersasiftheonenaturegavewasntenoughforanybodyhawkinghimdownintothedirtyoldkitchennowisherightinhisheadIaskpityitwasntwashingdaymyoldpairofdrawersmighthavebeenhanginguptooonthelineonexhibitionforallhedevercarewiththeironmouldmarkthestupidoldbundleburnedonthemhemightthinkwassomethingelseandsheneverevenrendereddownthefatItoldherandnowshesgoingsuchasshewasonaccountofherparalysedhusbandgettingworsetheresalwayssomethingwrongwiththemdiseaseortheyhavetogounderanoperationorifitsnotthatitsdrinkandhebeatsherIllhavetohuntaroundagainforsomeoneeverydayIgetuptheressomenewthingonsweetGodsweetGodwellwhenImstretchedoutdeadinmygraveIsuppose111havesomepeaceIwanttogetupaminuteifImletwaitOJesuswaityesthatthinghascomeonmeyesnowwouldntthatafflictyouofcourseallthepokingandrootingandploughinghehadupinmenowwhatamItodoFridaySaturdaySundaywouldntthatpesterthesouloutofabodyunlesshelikesitsomemendoGodknowstheresalwayssomethingwrongwithus5daysevery3or4weeksusualmonthlyauctionisntitsimplysickeningthatnightitcameonmelikethattheoneandonlytimewewereinaboxthatMichaelGunngavehimtoseeMrsKendalandherhusbandattheGaietysomethinghedidaboutinsuranceforhiminDrimmiesIwasfittobetiedthoughIwouldntgiveinwiththatgentlemanoffashionstaringdownatmewithhisglassesandhimtheothersideofmetalkingaboutSpinozaandhissoulthatsdeadIsupposemillionsofyearsagoIsmiledthebestIcouldallinaswampleaningforwardasifIwasinterestedhavingtosititoutthentothelasttagIwontforgetthatwifeofScarliinahurrysupposedtobeafastplayaboutadulterythatidiotinthegalleryhissingthewomanadulteressheshoutedIsupposehewentandhadawomaninthenextlanerunningroundallthebackwaysaftertomakeupforitIwishhehadwhatIhadthenhedbooIbetthecatitselfisbetteroffthanushavewetoomuchbloodupinusorwhatOpatienceaboveitspouringoutofmeliketheseaanyhowhedidntmakemepregnantasbigasheisIdontwanttoruinthecleansheetsIjustputonIsupposethecleanlinenIworebroughtitontoodamnitdamnitandtheyalwayswanttoseeastainonthebedtoknowyoureavirginforthemallthatstroublingthemtheyresuchfoolstooyoucouldbeawidowordivorced40timesoveradaubofredinkwoulddoorblackberryjuicenothatstoopurplyOJamesyletmeupoutofthispoohsweetsofsinwhoeversuggestedthatbusinessforwomenwhatbetweenclothesandcookingandchildrenthisdamnedoldbedtoojinglinglikethedickensIsupposetheycouldhearusawayovertheothersideoftheparktillIsuggestedtoputthequiltonthefloorwiththepillowundermybottomIwonderisitnicerinthedayIthinkitiseasyIthinkIllcutallthishairoffmetherescaldingmeImightlooklikeayounggirlwouldnthegetthegreatsuckinthenexttimeheturnedupmyclothesonmeIdgiveanythingtoseehisfacewheresthechambergoneeasyIveaholyhorrorofitsbreakingundermeafterthatoldcommodeIwonderwasItooheavysittingonhiskneeImadehimsitontheeasychairpurposelywhenItookoffonlymyblouseandskirtfirstintheotherroomhewassobusywhereheoughtnttobeheneverfeltmeIhopemybreathwassweetafterthosekissingcomfitseasyGodIrememberonetimeIcouldscoutitoutstraightwhistlinglikeamanalmosteasyOLordhownoisyIhopetheyrebubblesonitforawadofmoneyfromsomefellow111havetoperfumeitinthemorningdontforgetIbetheneversawabetterpairofthighsthanthatlookhowwhitetheyarethesmoothestplaceisrighttherebetweenthisbitherehowsoftlikeapeacheasyGodIwouldntmindbeingamanandgetuponalovelywomanOLordwhatarowyouremakinglikethejerseylilyeasyeasyOhowthewaterscomedownatLahorewhoknowsisthereanythingthematterwithmyinsidesorhaveIsomethinggrowinginmegettingthatthinglikethateveryweekwhenwasitlastIWhitMondayyesitsonlyabout3weeksIoughttogotothedoctoronlyitwouldbelikebeforeImarriedhimwhenIhadthatwhitethingcomingfrommeandFloeymademegotothatdryoldstickDrCollinsforwomensdiseasesonPembrokeroadyourvaginahecalleditIsupposethatshowhegotallthegiltmirrorsandcarpetsgettingroundthoserichonesoffStephensgreenrunninguptohimforeverylittlefiddlefaddlehervaginaandhercochinchinatheyvemoneyofcoursesotheyreallrightIwouldntmarryhimnotifhewasthelastmanintheworldbesidestheressomethingqueerabouttheirchildrenalwayssmellingaroundthosefilthybitchesallsidesaskingmeifwhatIdidhadanoffensiveodourwhatdidhewantmetodobuttheonethinggoldmaybewhataquestionifIsmathereditalloverhiswrinklyoldfaceforhimwithallmycomprimentsIsupposehedknowthenandcouldyoupassiteasilypasswhatIthoughthewastalkingabouttherockofGibraltarthewayheputitthatsaveryniceinventiontoobythewayonlyIlikelettingmyselfdownafterintheholeasfarasIcansqueezeandpullthechainthentoflushitnicecoolpinsandneedlesstilltheressomethinginitIsupposeIalwaysusedtoknowbyMillyswhenshewasachildwhethershehadwormsornotstillallthesamepayinghimforthathowmuchisthatdoctoroneguineapleaseandaskingmehadIfrequentomissionswheredothoseoldfellowsgetallthewordstheyhaveomissionswithhisshortsightedeyesonmecockedsidewaysIwouldnttrusthimtoofartogivemechloroformorGodknowswhatelsestillIlikedhimwhenhesatdowntowritethethingoutfrowningsoseverehisnoseintelligentlikethatyoubedamnedyoulyingstrapOanythingnomatterwhoexceptanidiothewascleverenoughtospotthatofcoursethatwasallthinkingofhimandhismadcrazylettersmyPreciousoneeverythingconnectedwithyourgloriousBodyeverythingunderlinedthatcomesfromitisathingofbeautyandofjoyforeversomethinghegotoutofsomenonsensicalbookthathehadmealwaysatmyself4and5timesadaysometimesandIsaidIhadntareyousureOyesIsaidIamquitesureinawaythatshuthimupIknewwhatwascomingnextonlynaturalweaknessitwasheexcitedmeIdontknowhowthefirstnighteverwemetwhenIwaslivinginRehobothterracewestoodstaringatoneanotherforaboutlominutesasifwemetsomewhereIsupposeonaccountofmybeingjewesslookingaftermymotherheusedtoamusemethethingshesaidwiththehalfslootheringsmileonhimandalltheDoylessaidhewasgoingtostandforamemberofParliamentOwasntIthebornfooltobelieveallhisblatherabouthomeruleandthelandleaguesendingmethatlongstroolofasongoutoftheHuguenotstosinginFrenchtobemoreclassyObeaupaysdelaTourainethatIneverevensangonceexplainingandrigmarolingaboutreligionandpersecutionhewontletyouenjoyanythingnaturallythenmightheasagreatfavourthevery1stopportunityhegotachanceinBrightonsquarerunningintomybedroompretendingtheinkgotonhishandstowashitoffwiththeAlbionmilkandsulphursoapIusedtouseandthegelatinestillrounditOIlaughedmyselfsickathimthatdayIbetternotmakeanalnightsittingonthisaffairtheyoughttomakechambersanaturalsizesothatawomancouldsitonitproperlyhekneelsdowntodoitIsupposethereisntinallcreationanothermanwiththehabitshehaslookatthewayhessleepingatthefootofthebedhowcanhewithoutahardbolsteritswellhedoesntkickorhemightknockoutallmyteethbreathingwithhishandonhisnoselikethatIndiangodhetookmetoshowonewetSundayinthemuseuminKildarestreetallyellowinapinaforelyingonhissideonhishandwithhistentoesstickingoutthathesaidwasabiggerreligionthanthejewsandOurLordsbothputtogetheralloverAsiaimitatinghimashesalwaysimitatingeverybodyIsupposeheusedtosleepatthefootofthebedtoowithhisbigsquarefeetupinhiswifesmouthdamnthisstinkingthinganywaywheresthisthosenapkinsareahyesIknowIhopetheoldpressdoesntcreakahIknewitwouldhessleepinghardhadagoodtimesomewherestillshemusthavegivenhimgreatvalueforhismoneyofcoursehehastopayforitfromherOthisnuisanceofathingIhopetheyllhavesomethingbetterforusintheotherworldtyingourselvesupGodhelpusthatsallrightfortonightnowthelumpyoldjinglybedalwaysremindsmeofoldCohenIsupposehescratchedhimselfinitoftenenoughandhethinksfatherboughtitfromLordNapierthatIusedtoadmirewhenIwasalittlegirlbecauseItoldhimeasypianoOIlikemybedGodhereweareasbadaseverafter16yearshowmanyhouseswereweinatallRaymondterraceandOntarioterraceandLombardstreetandHollesstreetandhegoesaboutwhistlingeverytimewereontherunagainhishuguenotsorthefrogsmarchpretendingtohelpthemenwithour4sticksoffurnitureandthentheCityArmshotelworseandworsesaysWardenDalythatcharmingplaceonthelandingalwayssomebodyinsideprayingthenleavingalltheirstinksafterthemalwaysknowwhowasintherelasteverytimewerejustgettingonrightsomethinghappensorheputshisbigfootinitThomsandHelysandMrCuffesandDrimmieseitherhesgoingtoberunintoprisonoverhisoldlotteryticketsthatwastobealloursalvationsorhegoesandgivesimpudencewellhavehimcominghomewiththesacksoonoutoftheFreemantooliketherestonaccountofthoseSinnerFeinorthefreemasonsthenwellseeifthelittlemanheshowedmedribblingalonginthewetallbyhimselfroundbyCoadyslanewillgivehimmuchconsolationthathesaysissocapableandsincerelyIrishheisindeedjudgingbythesincerityofthetrousersIsawonhimwaittheresGeorgeschurchbellswait3quartersthehourlwait2oclockwellthatsanicehourofthenightforhimtobecominghomeattoanybodyclimbingdownintotheareaifanybodysawhimIllknockhimoffthatlittlehabittomorrowfirstIlllookathisshirttoseeorIllseeifhehasthatFrenchletterstillinhispocketbookIsupposehethinksIdontknowdeceitfulmenalltheir20pocketsarentenoughfortheirliesthenwhyshouldwetellthemevenifitsthetruththeydontbelieveyouthentuckedupinbedlikethosebabiesintheAristocratsMasterpiecehebroughtmeanothertimeasifwehadntenoughofthatinreallifewithoutsomeoldAristocratorwhateverhisnameisdisgustingyoumorewiththoserottenpictureschildrenwithtwoheadsandnolegsthatsthekindofvillainytheyrealwaysdreamingaboutwithnotanotherthingintheiremptyheadstheyoughttogetslowpoisonthehalfofthemthenteaandtoastforhimbutteredonbothsidesandnewlaideggsIsupposeImnothinganymorewhenIwouldntlethimlickmeinHollesstreetonenightmanmantyrantaseverfortheonethinghesleptonthefloorhalfthenightnakedthewaythejewsusedwhensomebodydiesbelongedtothemandwouldnteatanybreakfastorspeakawordwantingtobepettedsoIthoughtIstoodoutenoughforonetimeandlethimhedoesitallwrongtoothinkingonlyofhisownpleasurehistongueistooflatorIdontknowwhatheforgetsthatwethenIdontIllmakehimdoitagainifhedoesntmindhimselfandlockhimdowntosleepinthecoalcellarwiththeblackbeetlesIwonderwasitherJosieoffherheadwithmycastoffshessuchabornliartoonohedneverhavethecouragewithamarriedwomanthatswhyhewantsmeandBoylanthoughasforherDenisasshecallshimthatforlornlookingspectacleyoucouldntcallhimahusbandyesitssomelittlebitchhesgotinwithevenwhenIwaswithhimwithMillyattheCollegeracesthatHornblowerwiththechildsbonnetonthetopofhisnobletusintobythebackwayhewasthrowinghissheepseyesatthosetwodoingskirtdutyupanddownItriedtowinkathimfirstnouseofcourseandthatsthewayhismoneygoesthisisthefruitsofMrPaddyDignamyestheywereallingreatstyleatthegrandfuneralinthepaperBoylanbroughtiniftheysawarealofficersfuneralthatdbesomethingreversedarmsmuffleddrumsthepoorhorsewalkingbehindinblackLBoomandTomKernanthatdrunkenlittlebarrellymanthatbithistongueofffallingdownthemensWCdrunkinsomeplaceorotherandMartinCunninghamandthetwoDedalusesandFannyMCoyshusbandwhiteheadofcabbageskinnythingwithaturninhereyetryingtosingmysongsshedwanttobebornalloveragainandheroldgreendresswiththelowneckasshecantattractthemanyotherwaylikedabblingonarainydayIseeitallnowplainlyandtheycallthatfriendshipkillingandthenburyingoneanotherandtheyallwiththeirwivesandfamiliesathomemoreespeciallyJackPowerkeepingthatbarmaidhedoesofcoursehiswifeisalwayssickorgoingtobesickorjustgettingbetterofitandhesagoodlookingmanstillthoughhesgettingabitgreyovertheearstheyreanicelotallofthemwelltheyrenotgoingtogetmyhusbandagainintotheirclutchesifIcanhelpitmakingfunofhimthenbehindhisbackIknowwellwhenhegoesonwithhisidioticsbecausehehassenseenoughnottosquandereverypennypieceheearnsdowntheirgulletsandlooksafterhiswifeandfamilygoodfornothingspoorPaddyDignamallthesameImsorryinawayforhimwhatarehiswifeand5childrengoingtodounlesshewasinsuredcomicallittleteetotumalwaysstuckupinsomepubcornerandherorhersonwaitingBillBaileywontyoupleasecomehomeherwidowsweedswontimproveherappearancetheyreawfullybecomingthoughifyouregoodlookingwhatmenwasntheyeshewasattheGlencreedinnerandBenDollardbasebarreltonethenightheborrowedtheswallowtailtosingoutofinHollesstreetsqueezedandsquashedintothemandgrinningalloverhisbigDollyfacelikeawellwhippedchildsbottydidnthelookabalmyballockssureenoughthatmusthavebeenaspectacleonthestageimaginepaying5inthepreservedseatsforthattoseehimtrottingoffinhistrowlersandSimonDedalustoohewasalwaysturninguphalfscrewedsingingthesecondversefirsttheoldloveisthenewwasoneofhissosweetlysangthemaidenonthehawthornboughhewasalwaysonforflirtyfyingtoowhenIsangMaritanawithhimatFreddyMayersprivateoperahehadadeliciousgloriousvoicePhoebedearestgoodbyesweetheartsweethearthealwayssangitnotlikeBartellDarcysweettartgoodbyeofcoursehehadthegiftofthevoicesotherewasnoartinitalloveryoulikeawarmshowerbathOMaritanawildwoodflowerwesangsplendidlythoughitwasabittoohighformyregistereventransposedandhewasmarriedatthetimetoMayGouldingbutthenhedsayordosomethingtoknockthegoodoutofithesawidowernowIwonderwhatsortishissonhesayshesanauthorandgoingtobeauniversityprofessorofItalianandImtotakelessonswhatishedrivingatnowshowinghimmyphotoitsnotgoodofmeIoughttohavegotittakenindraperythatneverlooksoutoffashionstillIlookyounginitIwonderhedidntmakehimapresentofitaltogetherandmetooafterallwhynotIsawhimdrivingdowntotheKingsbridgestationwithhisfatherandmotherIwasinmourningthats11yearsagonowyeshedbe11thoughwhatwasthegoodingoingintomourningforwhatwasneitheronethingnortheotherthefirstcrywasenoughformeIheardthedeathwatchtootickinginthewallofcourseheinsistedhedgointomourningforthecatIsupposehesamannowbythistimehewasaninnocentboythenandadarlinglittlefellowinhislordFauntleroysuitandcurlyhairlikeaprinceonthestagewhenIsawhimatMatDillonshelikedmetooIremembertheyalldowaitbyGodyeswaityesholdonhewasonthecardsthismorningwhenIlaidoutthedeckunionwithayoungstrangerneitherdarknorfairyoumetbeforeIthoughtitmeanthimbuthesnochickennorastrangereitherbesidesmyfacewasturnedtheotherwaywhatwasthe7thcardafterthatthe10ofspadesforajourneybylandthentherewasaletteronitswayandscandalstoothe3queensandthe8ofdiamondsforariseinsocietyyeswaititallcameoutand2red8sfornewgarmentslookatthatanddidntIdreamsomethingtooyestherewassomethingaboutpoetryinitIhopehehasntlonggreasyhairhangingintohiseyesorstandinguplikearedIndianwhatdotheygoaboutlikethatforonlygettingthemselvesandtheirpoetrylaughedatIalwayslikedpoetrywhenIwasagirlfirstIthoughthewasapoetlikelordByronandnotanounceofitinhiscompositionIthoughthewasquitedifferentIwonderishetooyounghesaboutwait88Iwasmarried88Millyis15yesterday89whatagewashethenatDillons5or6about88Isupposehes20ormoreImnottoooldforhimifhes23or24IhopehesnotthatstuckupuniversitystudentsortnootherwisehewouldntgosittingdownintheoldkitchenwithhimtakingEppsscocoaandtalkingofcoursehepretendedtounderstanditallprobablyhetoldhimhewasoutofTrinitycollegehesveryyoungtobeaprofessorIhopehesnotaprofessorlikeGoodwinwashewasapotentprofessorofJohnJamesontheyallwriteaboutsomewomanintheirpoetrywellIsupposehewontfindmanylikemewheresoftlysighsoflovethelightguitarwherepoetryisintheairtheblueseaandthemoonshiningsobeautifullycomingbackonthenightboatfromTarifathelighthouseatEuropapointtheguitarthatfellowplayedwassoexpressivewillIevergobackthereagainallnewfacestwoglancingeyesalatticehidIllsingthatforhimtheyremyeyesifhesanythingofapoettwoeyesasdarklybrightaslovesownstararentthosebeautifulwordsaslovesyoungstaritllbeachangetheLordknowstohaveanintelligentpersontotalktoaboutyourselfnotalwayslisteningtohimandBillyPrescottsadandKeyessadandTomtheDevilsadthenifanythinggoeswrongintheirbusinesswehavetosufferImsurehesverydistinguishedIdliketomeetamanlikethatGodnotthoseotherruckbesideshesyoungthosefineyoungmenIcouldseedowninMargatestrandbathingplacefromthesideoftherockstandingupinthesunnakedlikeaGodorsomethingandthenplungingintotheseawiththemwhyarentallmenlikethattheredbesomeconsolationforawomanlikethatlovelylittlestatueheboughtIcouldlookathimalldaylongcurlyheadandhisshouldershisfingerupforyoutolistentheresrealbeautyandpoetryforyouIoftenfeltIwantedtokisshimalloveralsohislovelyyoungcocktheresosimpleIwouldntmindtakinghiminmymouthifnobodywaslookingasifitwasaskingyoutosuckitsocleanandwhitehelookswithhisboyishfaceIwouldtooin12aminuteevenifsomeofitwentdownwhatitsonlylikegruelorthedewtheresnodangerbesideshedbesocleancomparedwiththosepigsofmenIsupposeneverdreamofwashingitfromIyearsendtotheotherthemostofthemonlythatswhatgivesthewomenthemoustachesImsureitllbegrandifIcanonlygetinwithahandsomeyoungpoetatmyageIllthrowthemthe1stthinginthemorningtillIseeifthewishcardcomesoutorIlltrypairingtheladyherselfandseeifhecomesoutIllreadandstudyallIcanfindorlearnabitoffbyheartifIknewwhohelikessohewontthinkmestupidifhethinksallwomenarethesameandIcanteachhimtheotherpartIllmakehimfeelalloverhimtillhehalffaintsundermethenhellwriteaboutmeloverandmistresspubliclytoowithour2photographsinallthepaperswhenhebecomesfamousObutthenwhatamIgoingtodoabouthimthoughnothatsnowayforhimhashenomannersnornorefinementnornonothinginhisnatureslappingusbehindlikethatonmybottombecauseIdidntcallhimHughtheignoramusthatdoesntknowpoetryfromacabbagethatswhatyougetfornotkeepingthemintheirproperplacepullingoffhisshoesandtrousersthereonthechairbeforemesobarefacedwithoutevenaskingpermissionandstandingoutthatvulgarwayinthehalfofashirttheyweartobeadmiredlikeapriestorabutcherorthoseoldhypocritesinthetimeofJuliusCaesarofcoursehesrightenoughinhiswaytopassthetimeasajokesureyoumightaswellbeinbedwithwhatwithalionGodImsurehedhavesomethingbettertosayforhimselfanoldLionwouldOwellIsupposeitsbecausetheyweresoplumpandtemptinginmyshortpetticoathecouldntresisttheyexcitemyselfsometimesitswellformenalltheamountofpleasuretheygetoffawomansbodyweresoroundandwhiteforthemalwaysIwishedIwasonemyselfforachangejusttotrywiththatthingtheyhaveswellinguponyousohardandatthesametimesosoftwhenyoutouchitmyuncleJohnhasathinglongIheardthosecornerboyssayingpassingthecomerofMarrowbonelanemyauntMaryhasathinghairybecauseitwasdarkandtheyknewagirlwaspassingitdidntmakemeblushwhyshoulditeitheritsonlynatureandheputshisthinglongintomyauntMaryshairyetceteraandturnsouttobeyouputthehandleinasweepingbrushmenagainallovertheycanpickandchoosewhattheypleaseamarriedwomanorafastwidoworagirlfortheirdifferenttasteslikethosehousesroundbehindIrishstreetnobutweretobealwayschaineduptheyrenotgoingtobechainingmeupnodamnfearonceIstartItellyoufortheirstupidhusbandsjealousywhycantweallremainfriendsoveritinsteadofquarrellingherhusbandfounditoutwhattheydidtogetherwellnaturallyandifhedidcanheundoithescoronadoanywaywhateverhedoesandthenhegoingtotheothermadextremeaboutthewifeinFairTyrantsofcoursethemanneverevencastsa2ndthoughtonthehusbandorwifeeitheritsthewomanhewantsandhegetsherwhatelsewerewegivenallthosedesiresforIdliketoknowIcanthelpitifImyoungstillcanIitsawonderImnotanoldshrivelledhagbeforemytimelivingwithhimsocoldneverembracingmeexceptsometimeswhenhesasleepthewrongendofmenotknowingIsupposewhohehasanymanthatdkissawomansbottomIdthrowmyhatathimafterthathedkissanythingunnaturalwherewehaventIatomofanykindofexpressioninusallofusthesame2lumpsoflardbeforeeverIddothattoamanpfoohthedirtybrutesthemerethoughtisenoughIkissthefeetofyousenoritatheressomesenseinthatdidnthekissourhalldooryeshedidwhatamadmannobodyunderstandshiscrackedideasbutmestillofcourseawomanwantstobeembraced20timesadayalmosttomakeherlookyoungnomatterbywhosolongastobeinloveorlovedbysomebodyifthefellowyouwantisnttheresometimesbytheLordGodIwasthinkingwouldIgoaroundbythequaystheresomedarkeveningwherenobodydknowmeandpickupasailorofftheseathatdbehotonforitandnotcareapinwhoseIwasonlydoitoffupinagatesomewhereoroneofthosewildlookinggipsiesinRathfarnhamhadtheircamppitchedneartheBloomfieldlaundrytotryandstealourthingsiftheycouldIonlysentminethereafewtimesforthenamemodellaundrysendingmebackoverandoversomeoldonesoddstockingsthatblackguardlookingfellowwiththefineeyespeelingaswitchattackmeinthedarkandridemeupagainstthewallwithoutawordoramurdereranybodywhattheydothemselvesthefinegentlemenintheirsilkhatsthatKClivesupsomewherethiswaycomingoutofHardwickelanethenighthegaveusthefishsupperonaccountofwinningovertheboxingmatchofcourseitwasformehegaveitIknewhimbyhisgaitersandthewalkandwhenIturnedroundaminuteafterjusttoseetherewasawomanaftercomingoutofittoosomefilthyprostitutethenhegoeshometohiswifeafterthatonlyIsupposethehalfofthosesailorsarerottenagainwithdiseaseOmoveoveryourbigcarcassoutofthatfortheloveofMikelistentohimthewindsthatwaftmysighstotheesowellhemaysleepandsighthegreatSuggesterDonPoldodelaFloraifheknewhowhecameoutonthecardsthismorninghedhavesomethingtosighforadarkmaninsomeperplexitybetween27stooinprisonforLordknowswhathedoesthatIdontknowandImtobesloochingarounddowninthekitchentogethislordshiphisbreakfastwhilehesrolleduplikeamummywillIindeeddidyoueverseemerunningIdjustliketoseemyselfatitshowthemattentionandtheytreatyoulikedirtIdontcarewhatanybodysaysitdbemuchbetterfortheworldtobegovernedbythewomeninityouwouldntseewomengoingandkillingoneanotherandslaughteringwhendoyoueverseewomenrollingarounddrunkliketheydoorgamblingeverypennytheyhaveandlosingitonhorsesyesbecauseawomanwhatevershedoessheknowswheretostopsuretheywouldntbeintheworldatallonlyforustheydontknowwhatitistobeawomanandamotherhowcouldtheywherewouldtheyallofthembeiftheyhadntallamothertolookafterthemwhatIneverhadthatswhyIsupposehesrunningwildnowoutatnightawayfromhisbooksandstudiesandnotlivingathomeonaccountoftheusualrowyhouseIsupposewellitsapoorcasethatthosethathaveafinesonlikethattheyrenotsatisfiedandInonewashenotabletomakeoneitwasntmyfaultwecametogetherwhenIwaswatchingthetwodogsupinherbehindinthemiddleofthenakedstreetthatdisheartenedmealtogetherIsupposeIoughtnttohaveburiedhiminthatlittlewoollyjacketIknittedcryingasIwasbutgiveittosomepoorchildbutIknewwellIdneverhaveanotherour1stdeathtooitwaswewereneverthesamesinceOImnotgoingtothinkmyselfintothegloomsaboutthatanymoreIwonderwhyhewouldntstaythenightIfeltallthetimeitwassomebodystrangehebroughtininsteadofrovingaroundthecitymeetingGodknowswhonightwalkersandpickpocketshispoormotherwouldntlikethatifshewasaliveruininghimselfforlifeperhapsstillitsalovelyhoursosilentIusedtolovecominghomeafterdancestheairofthenighttheyhavefriendstheycantalktowevenoneeitherhewantswhathewontgetoritssomewomanreadytostickherknifeinyouIhatethatinwomennowondertheytreatusthewaytheydoweareadreadfullotofbitchesIsupposeitsallthetroubleswehavemakesussosnappyImnotlikethathecouldeasyhavesleptinthereonthesofaintheotherroomIsupposehewasasshyasaboyhebeingsoyounghardly20ofmeinthenextroomhedhaveheardmeonthechamberarrahwhatharmDedalusIwonderitslikethosenamesinGibraltarDelapazDelagraciatheyhadthedevilsqueernamestherefatherVilaplanaofSantaMariathatgavemetherosaryRosalesyOReillyintheCallelasSieteRevueltasandPisimboandMrsOpissoinGovernorstreetOwhatanameIdgoanddrownmyselfinthefirstriverifIhadanamelikeherOmyandallthebitsofstreetsParadiserampandBedlamrampandRodgersrampandCrutchettsrampandthedevilsgapstepswellsmallblametomeifIamaharumscarumIknowIamabitIdeclaretoGodIdontfeeladayolderthanthenIwondercouldIgetmytongueroundanyoftheSpanishcomoestaustedmuybiengraciasyustedseeIhaventforgottenitallIthoughtIhadonlyforthegrammaranounisthenameofanypersonplaceorthingpityInevertriedtoreadthatnovelcantankerousMrsRubiolentmebyValerawiththequestionsinitallupsidedownthetwowaysIalwaysknewwedgoawayintheendIcantellhimtheSpanishandhetellmetheItalianthenhellseeImnotsoignorantwhatapityhedidntstayImsurethepoorfellowwasdeadtiredandwantedagoodsleepbadlyIcouldhavebroughthiminhisbreakfastinbedwithabitoftoastsolongasIdidntdoitontheknifeforbadluckorifthewomanwasgoingherroundswiththewatercressandsomethingniceandtastythereareafewolivesinthekitchenhemightlikeInevercouldbearthelookoftheminAbrinesIcoulddothecriadatheroomlooksallrightsinceIchangedittheotherwayyouseesomethingwastellingmeallthetimeIdhavetointroducemyselfnotknowingmefromAdamveryfunnywouldntitImhiswifeorpretendwewereinSpainwithhimhalfawakewithoutaGodsnotionwhereheisdoshuevosestrelladossenorLordthecrackedthingscomeintomyheadsometimesitdbegreatfunsupposinghestayedwithuswhynottherestheroomupstairsemptyandMillysbedinthebackroomhecoulddohiswritingandstudiesatthetableinthereforallthescribblinghedoesatitandifhewantstoreadinbedinthemorninglikemeashesmakingthebreakfastforIhecanmakeitfor2ImsureImnotgoingtotakeinlodgersoffthestreetforhimifhetakesagesaboofahouselikethisIdlovetohavealongtalkwithanintelligentwelleducatedpersonIdhavetogetanicepairofredslipperslikethoseTurkswiththefezusedtoselloryellowandanicesemitransparentmorninggownthatIbadlywantorapeachblossomdressingjacketliketheonelongagoinWalpolesonly86or186IlljustgivehimonemorechanceIllgetupearlyinthemorningImsickofCohensoldbedinanycaseImightgoovertothemarketstoseeallthevegetablesandcabbagesandtomatoesandcarrotsandallkindsofsplendidfruitsallcominginlovelyandfreshwhoknowswhodbethe1stmanIdmeettheyreoutlookingforitinthemorningMamyDillonusedtosaytheyareandthenighttoothatwashermassgoingIdloveabigjuicypearnowtomeltinyourmouthlikewhenIusedtobeinthelongingwaythenIllthrowhimuphiseggsandteainthemoustachecupshegavehimtomakehismouthbiggerIsupposehedlikemynicecreamtooIknowwhatIlldoIllgoaboutrathergaynottoomuchsingingabitnowandthenmifapietaMasettothenIllstartdressingmyselftogooutprestononsonpiuforteIllputonmybestshiftanddrawerslethimhaveagoodeyefuloutofthattomakehismickystandforhimIlllethimknowifthatswhathewantedthathiswifeisIslofuckedyesanddamnwellfuckedtoouptomynecknearlynotbyhim5or6timeshandrunningtheresthemarkofhisspunkonthecleansheetIwouldntbothertoevenironitoutthatoughttosatisfyhimifyoudontbelievemefeelmybellyunlessImadehimstandthereandputhimintomeIveamindtotellhimeveryscrapandmakehimdoitoutinfrontofmeservehimrightitsallhisownfaultifIamanadulteressasthethinginthegallerysaidOmuchaboutitifthatsalltheharmeverwedidinthisvaleoftearsGodknowsitsnotmuchdoesnteverybodyonlytheyhideitIsupposethatswhatawomanissupposedtobetherefororHewouldnthavemadeusthewayHedidsoattractivetomenthenifhewantstokissmybottomIlldragopenmydrawersandbulgeitrightoutinhisfaceaslargeaslifehecanstickhistongue7milesupmyholeashestheremybrownpartthenIlltellhimIwantLIorperhaps30IlltellhimIwanttobuyunderclothesthenifhegivesmethatwellhewontbetoobadIdontwanttosoakitalloutofhimlikeotherwomendoIcouldoftenhavewrittenoutafinechequeformyselfandwritehisnameonitforacoupleofpoundsafewtimesheforgottolockitupbesideshewontspenditIlllethimdoitoffonmebehindprovidedhedoesntsmearallmygooddrawersOIsupposethatcantbehelpedIlldotheindifferentlor2questionsIllknowbytheanswerswhenheslikethathecantkeepathingbackIknoweveryturninhimIlltightenmybottomwellandletoutafewsmuttywordssmellrumporlickmyshitorthefirstmadthingcomesintomyheadthenIllsuggestaboutyesOwaitnowsonnymyturniscomingIllbequitegayandfriendlyoveritObutIwasforgettingthisbloodypestofathingpfoohyouwouldntknowwhichtolaughorcryweresuchamixtureofplumandapplenoIllhavetoweartheoldthingssomuchthebetteritllbemorepointedhellneverknowwhetherhediditornottherethatsgoodenoughforyouanyoldthingatallthenIllwipehimoffmejustlikeabusinesshisomissionthenIllgooutIllhavehimeyingupattheceilingwhereisshegonenowmakehimwantmethatstheonlywayaquarterafterwhatanunearthlyhourIsupposetheyrejustgettingupinChinanowcombingouttheirpigtailsforthedaywellsoonhavethenunsringingtheangelustheyvenobodycomingintospoiltheirsleepexceptanoddpriestortwoforhisnightofficeorthealarmclocknextdooratcockshoutclatteringthebrainsoutofitselfletmeseeifIcandozeoff12345whatkindofflowersarethosetheyinventedlikethestarsthewallpaperinLombardstreetwasmuchnicertheapronhegavemewaslikethatsomethingonlyIonlyworeittwicebetterlowerthislampandtryagainsoasIcangetupearlyIllgotoLambestherebesideFindlatersandgetthemtosendussomeflowerstoputabouttheplaceincasehebringshimhometomorrowtodayImeannonoFridaysanunluckydayfirstIwanttodotheplaceupsomewaythedustgrowsinitIthinkwhileImasleepthenwecanhavemusicandcigarettesIcanaccompanyhimfirstImustcleanthekeysofthepianowithmilkwhatllIwearshallIwearawhiteroseorthosefairycakesinLiptonsIlovethesmellofarichbigshopat712dalbortheotheroneswiththecherriesinthemandthepinkysugarIIdacoupleoflbsofthoseaniceplantforthemiddleofthetableIdgetthatcheaperinwaitwheresthisIsawthemnotlongagoIloveflowersIdlovetohavethewholeplaceswimminginrosesGodofheaventheresnothinglikenaturethewildmountainsthentheseaandthewavesrushingthenthebeautifulcountrywiththefieldsofoatsandwheatandallkindsofthingsandallthefinecattlegoingaboutthatwoulddoyourheartgoodtoseeriversandlakesandflowersallsortsofshapesandsmellsandcoloursspringingupevenoutoftheditchesprimrosesandvioletsnatureitisasforthemsayingtheresnoGodIwouldntgiveasnapofmytwofingersforalltheirlearningwhydonttheygoandcreatesomethingIoftenaskedhimatheistsorwhatevertheycallthemselvesgoandwashthecobblesoffthemselvesfirstthentheygohowlingforthepriestandtheydyingandwhywhybecausetheyreafraidofhellonaccountoftheirbadconscienceahyesIknowthemwellwhowasthefirstpersonintheuniversebeforetherewasanybodythatmadeitallwhoahthattheydontknowneitherdoIsothereyouaretheymightaswelltrytostopthesunfromrisingtomorrowthesunshinesforyouhesaidthedaywewerelyingamongtherhododendronsonHowthheadinthegreytweedsuitandhisstrawhatthedayIgothimtoproposetomeyesfirstIgavehimthebitofseedcakeoutofmymouthanditwasleapyearlikenowyes16yearsagomyGodafterthatlongkissInearlostmybreathyeshesaidIwasaflowerofthemountainyessoweareflowersallawomansbodyyesthatwasonetruethinghesaidinhislifeandthesunshinesforyoutodayyesthatwaswhyIlikedhimbecauseIsawheunderstoodorfeltwhatawomanisandIknewIcouldalwaysgetroundhimandIgavehimallthepleasureIcouldleadinghimontillheaskedmetosayyesandIwouldntanswerfirstonlylookedoutovertheseaandtheskyIwasthinkingofsomanythingshedidntknowofMulveyandMrStanhopeandHesterandfatherandoldcaptainGrovesandthesailorsplayingallbirdsflyandIsaystoopandwashingupdishestheycalleditonthepierandthesentryinfrontofthegovernorshousewiththethingroundhiswhitehelmetpoordevilhalfroastedandtheSpanishgirlslaughingintheirshawlsandtheirtallcombsandtheauctionsinthemorningtheGreeksandthejewsandtheArabsandthedevilknowswhoelsefromalltheendsofEuropeandDukestreetandthefowlmarketallcluckingoutsideLarbySharonsandthepoordonkeysslippinghalfasleepandthevaguefellowsinthecloaksasleepintheshadeonthestepsandthebigwheelsofthecartsofthebullsandtheoldcastlethousandsofyearsoldyesandthosehandsomeMoorsallinwhiteandturbanslikekingsaskingyoutositdownintheirlittlebitofashopandRondawiththeoldwindowsoftheposadas2glancingeyesalatticehidforherlovertokisstheironandthewineshopshalfopenatnightandthecastanetsandthenightwemissedtheboatatAlgecirasthewatchmangoingaboutserenewithhislampandOthatawfuldeepdowntorrentOandtheseatheseacrimsonsometimeslikefireandtheglorioussunsetsandthefigtreesintheAlamedagardensyesandallthequeerlittlestreetsandthepinkandblueandyellowhousesandtherosegardensandthejessamineandgeraniumsandcactusesandGibraltarasagirlwhereIwasaFlowerofthemountainyeswhenIputtheroseinmyhairliketheAndalusiangirlsusedorshallIweararedyesandhowhekissedmeundertheMoorishwallandIthoughtwellaswellhimasanotherandthenIaskedhimwithmyeyestoaskagainyesandthenheaskedmewouldIyestosayyesmymountainflowerandfirstIputmyarmsaroundhimyesanddrewhimdowntomesohecouldfeelmybreastsallperfumeyesandhisheartwasgoinglikemadandyesIsaidyesIwillYes = "How long is too long?";
  char *MollyBloom =
      "MulveyswasthefirstwhenIwasinbedthatmorningandMrsRubiobroughtitinwiththec"
      "offeeshestoodtherestandingwhenIaskedhertohandmeandIpointingatthemIcouldn"
      "tthinkofthewordahairpintoopenitwithahhorquilladisobligingoldthinganditst"
      "aringherinthefacewithherswitchoffalsehaironherandvainaboutherappearanceu"
      "glyasshewasnear80oralooherfaceamassofwrinkleswithallherreligiondomineeri"
      "ngbecauseshenevercouldgetovertheAtlanticfleetcominginhalftheshipsofthewo"
      "rldandtheUnionJackflyingwithallhercarabinerosbecause4drunkenEnglishsailo"
      "rstookalltherockfromthemandbecauseIdidntrunintomassoftenenoughinSantaMar"
      "iatopleaseherwithhershawluponherexceptwhentherewasamarriageonwithallherm"
      "iraclesofthesaintsandherblackblessedvirginwiththesilverdressandthesundan"
      "cing3timesonEasterSundaymorningandwhenthepriestwasgoingbywiththebellbrin"
      "gingthevaticantothedyingblessingherselfforhisMajestadanadmirerhesignedit"
      "InearjumpedoutofmyskinIwantedtopickhimupwhenIsawhimfollowingmealongtheCa"
      "lleRealintheshopwindowthenhetippedmejustinpassingbutIneverthoughthedwrit"
      "emakinganappointmentIhaditinsidemypetticoatbodicealldayreadingitupinever"
      "yholeandcornerwhilefatherwasupatthedrillinstructingtofindoutbythehandwri"
      "tingorthelanguageofstampssingingIremembershallIwearawhiteroseandIwantedt"
      "oputontheoldstupidclocktonearthetimehewasthefirstmankissedmeundertheMoor"
      "ishwallmysweetheartwhenaboyitneverenteredmyheadwhatkissingmeanttillheput"
      "histongueinmymouthhismouthwassweetlikeyoungIputmykneeuptohimafewtimestol"
      "earnthewaywhatdidItellhimIwasengagedforforfuntothesonofaSpanishnoblemann"
      "amedDonMigueldelaFloraandhebelievedmethatIwastobemarriedtohimin3yearstim"
      "etheresmanyatruewordspokeninjestthereisaflowerthatbloomethafewthingsItol"
      "dhimtrueaboutmyselfjustforhimtobeimaginingtheSpanishgirlshedidntlikeIsup"
      "poseoneofthemwouldnthavehimIgothimexcitedhecrushedalltheflowersonmybosom"
      "hebroughtmehecouldntcountthepesetasandtheperragordastillItaughthimCappoq"
      "uinhecamefromhesaidontheblackwaterbutitwastooshortthenthedaybeforeheleft"
      "MayyesitwasMaywhentheinfantkingofSpainwasbornImalwayslikethatinthespring"
      "IdlikeanewfelloweveryyearuponthetiptopundertherockgunnearOHarastowerItol"
      "dhimitwasstruckbylightningandallabouttheoldBarbaryapestheysenttoClaphamw"
      "ithoutatailcareeringallovertheshowoneachothersbackMrsRubiosaidshewasareg"
      "ularoldrockscorpionrobbingthechickensoutofIncesfarmandthrowstonesatyouif"
      "youwentanearhewaslookingatmeIhadthatwhiteblouseonopeninthefronttoencoura"
      "gehimasmuchasIcouldwithouttooopenlytheywerejustbeginningtobeplumpIsaidIw"
      "astiredwelayoverthefirtreecoveawildplaceIsupposeitmustbethehighestrockin"
      "existencethegalleriesandcasematesandthosefrightfulrocksandSaintMichaelsc"
      "avewiththeiciclesorwhatevertheycallthemhangingdownandladdersallthemudplo"
      "tchingmybootsImsurethatsthewaydownthemonkeysgoundertheseatoAfricawhenthe"
      "ydietheshipsoutfarlikechipsthatwastheMaltaboatpassingyestheseaandtheskyy"
      "oucoulddowhatyoulikedliethereforeverhecaressedthemoutsidetheylovedoingth"
      "atitstheroundnessthereIwasleaningoverhimwithmywhitericestrawhattotakethe"
      "newnessoutofittheleftsideofmyfacethebestmyblouseopenforhislastdaytranspa"
      "rentkindofshirthehadIcouldseehischestpinkhewantedtotouchminewithhisforam"
      "omentbutIwouldntleehimhewasawfullyputoutfirstforfearyouneverknowconsumpt"
      "ionorleavemewithachildembarazadathatoldservantInestoldmethatonedropeveni"
      "fitgotintoyouatallafterItriedwiththeBananabutIwasafraiditmightbreakandge"
      "tlostupinmesomewherebecausetheyoncetooksomethingdownoutofawomanthatwasup"
      "thereforyearscoveredwithlimesaltstheyreallmadtogetintherewheretheycomeou"
      "tofyoudthinktheycouldnevergofarenoughupandthentheyredonewithyouinawaytil"
      "lthenexttimeyesbecausetheresawonderfulfeelingtheresotenderallthetimehowd"
      "idwefinishitoffyesOyesIpulledhimoffintomyhandkerchiefpretendingnottobeex"
      "citedbutIopenedmylegsIwouldntlethimtouchmeinsidemypetticoatbecauseIhadas"
      "kirtopeningupthesideItormentedthelifeoutofhimfirstticklinghimIlovedrousi"
      "ngthatdoginthehotelrrrssssttawokwokawokhiseyesshutandabirdflyingbelowush"
      "ewasshyallthesameIlikedhimlikethatmoaningImadehimblushalittlewhenIgotove"
      "rhimthatwaywhenIunbuttonedhimandtookhisoutanddrewbacktheskinithadakindof"
      "eyeinittheyreallButtonsmendownthemiddleonthewrongsideofthemMollydarlingh"
      "ecalledmewhatwashisnameJackJoeHarryMulveywasityesIthinkalieutenanthewasr"
      "atherfairhehadalaughingkindofavoicesoIwentroundtothewhatyoucalliteveryth"
      "ingwaswhatyoucallitmoustachehadhehesaidhedcomebackLorditsjustlikeyesterd"
      "aytomeandifIwasmarriedheddoittomeandIpromisedhimyesfaithfullyIdlethimblo"
      "ckmenowflyingperhapshesdeadorkilledoracaptainoradmiralitsnearly20yearsif"
      "Isaidfirtreecovehewouldifhecameupbehindmeandputhishandsovermyeyestoguess"
      "whoImightrecognisehimhesyoungstillabout40perhapshesmarriedsomegirlontheb"
      "lackwaterandisquitechangedtheyalldotheyhaventhalfthecharacterawomanhassh"
      "elittleknowswhatIdidwithherbelovedhusbandbeforeheeverdreamtofherinbroadd"
      "aylighttoointhesightofthewholeworldyoumightsaytheycouldhaveputanarticlea"
      "boutitintheChronicleIwasabitwildafterwhenIblewouttheoldbagthebiscuitswer"
      "einfromBenadyBrosandexplodeditLordwhatabangallthewoodcocksandpigeonsscre"
      "amingcomingbackthesamewaythatwewentovermiddlehillroundbytheoldguardhouse"
      "andthejewsburialplacepretendingtoreadouttheHebrewonthemIwantedtofirehisp"
      "istolhesaidhehadntonehedidntknowwhattomakeofmewithhispeakcaponthathealwa"
      "ysworecrookedasoftenasIsettleditstraightHMSCalypsoswingingmyhatthatoldBi"
      "shopthatspokeoffthealtarhislongpreachaboutwomanshigherfunctionsaboutgirl"
      "snowridingthebicycleandwearingpeakcapsandthenewwomanbloomersGodsendhimse"
      "nseandmemoremoneyIsupposetheyrecalledafterhimIneverthoughtthatwouldbemyn"
      "ameBloomwhenIusedtowriteitinprinttoseehowitlookedonavisitingcardorpracti"
      "singforthebutcherandobligeMBloomyourelookingbloomingJosieusedtosayafterI"
      "marriedhimwellitsbetterthanBreenorBriggsdoesbrigorthoseawfulnameswithbot"
      "tominthemMrsRamsbottomorsomeotherkindofabottomMulveyIwouldntgomadaboutei"
      "therorsupposeIdivorcedhimMrsBoylanmymotherwhoevershewasmighthavegivenmea"
      "nicernametheLordknowsafterthelovelyoneshehadLunitaLaredothefunwehadrunni"
      "ngalongWillissroadtoEuropapointtwistinginandoutallroundtheothersideofJer"
      "seytheywereshakinganddancingaboutinmyblouselikeMillyslittleonesnowwhensh"
      "erunsupthestairsIlovedlookingdownatthemIwasjumpingupatthepeppertreesandt"
      "hewhitepoplarspullingtheleavesoffandthrowingthemathimhewenttoIndiahewast"
      "owritethevoyagesthosemenhavetomaketotheendsoftheworldandbackitstheleastt"
      "heymightgetasqueezeortwoatawomanwhiletheycangoingouttobedrownedorblownup"
      "somewhereIwentupWindmillhilltotheflatsthatSundaymorningwithcaptainRubios"
      "thatwasdeadspyglasslikethesentryhadhesaidhedhaveoneortwofromonboardIwore"
      "thatfrockfromtheBMarcheparisandthecoralnecklacethestraitsshiningIcouldse"
      "eovertoMoroccoalmostthebayofTangierwhiteandtheAtlasmountainwithsnowonita"
      "ndthestraitslikeariversoclearHarryMollydarlingIwasthinkingofhimontheseaa"
      "llthetimeafteratmasswhenmypetticoatbegantoslipdownattheelevationweeksand"
      "weeksIkeptthehandkerchiefundermypillowforthesmellofhimtherewasnodecentpe"
      "rfumetobegotinthatGibraltaronlythatcheappeaudEspagnethatfadedandleftasti"
      "nkonyoumorethananythingelseIwantedtogivehimamementohegavemethatclumsyCla"
      "ddaghringforluckthatIgaveGardnergoingtosouthAfricawherethoseBoerskilledh"
      "imwiththeirwarandfeverbuttheywerewellbeatenallthesameasifitbroughtitsbad"
      "luckwithitlikeanopalorpearlstillitmusthavebeenpure18carrotgoldbecauseitw"
      "asveryheavybutwhatcouldyougetinaplacelikethatthesandfrogshowerfromAfrica"
      "andthatderelictshipthatcameuptotheharbourMarietheMariewhatyoucallitnoheh"
      "adntamoustachethatwasGardneryesIcanseehisfacecleanshavenFrseeeeeeeeeeeee"
      "eeeeeeefrongthattrainagainweepingtoneonceinthedeardeaeaddaysbeyondrecall"
      "closemyeyesbreathmylipsforwardkisssadlookeyesopenpianoereoertheworldthem"
      "istsbeganIhatethatistsbegcomeslovessweetsooooooooooongIllletthatoutfullw"
      "henIgetinfrontofthefootlightsagainKathleenKearneyandherlotofsquealersMis"
      "sThisMissThatMissTheotherlotofsparrowfartsskittingaroundtalkingaboutpoli"
      "ticstheyknowasmuchaboutasmybacksideanythingintheworldtomakethemselvessom"
      "ewayinterestingIrishhomemadebeautiessoldiersdaughteramIayandwhoseareyoub"
      "ootmakersandpublicansIbegyourpardoncoachIthoughtyouwereawheelbarrowtheyd"
      "diedowndeadofftheirfeetifevertheygotachanceofwalkingdowntheAlamedaonanof"
      "ficersarmlikemeonthebandnightmyeyesflashmybustthattheyhaventpassionGodhe"
      "lptheirpoorheadIknewmoreaboutmenandlifewhenIwasISthantheyllallknowat50th"
      "eydontknowhowtosingasonglikethatGardnersaidnomancouldlookatmymouthandtee"
      "thsmilinglikethatandnotthinkofitIwasafraidhemightntlikemyaccentfirstheso"
      "EnglishallfatherleftmeinspiteofhisstampsIvemymotherseyesandfigureanyhowh"
      "ealwayssaidtheyresosnottyaboutthemselvessomeofthosecadshewasntabitliketh"
      "athewasdeadgoneonmylipsletthemgetahusbandfirstthatsfittobelookedatandada"
      "ughterlikemineorseeiftheycanexciteaswellwithmoneythatcanpickandchoosewho"
      "everhewantslikeBoylantodoit4or5timeslockedineachothersarmsorthevoiceeith"
      "erIcouldhavebeenaprimadonnaonlyImarriedhimcomesloooovesolddeepdownchinba"
      "cknottoomuchmakeitdoubleMyLadysBoweristoolongforanencoreaboutthemoatedgr"
      "angeattwilightandvauntedroomsyesIllsingWindsthatblowfromthesouththathega"
      "veafterthechoirstairsperformanceIllchangethatlaceonmyblackdresstoshowoff"
      "mybubsandIllyesbyGodIllgetthatbigfanmendedmakethemburstwithenvymyholeisi"
      "tchingmealwayswhenIthinkofhimIfeelIwanttoIfeelsomewindinmebettergoeasyno"
      "twakehimhavehimatitagainslobberingafterwashingeverybitofmyselfbackbellya"
      "ndsidesifwehadevenabathitselformyownroomanywayIwishhedsleepinsomebedbyhi"
      "mselfwithhiscoldfeetonmegiveusroomeventoletafartGodordotheleastthingbett"
      "eryesholdthemlikethatabitonmysidepianoquietlysweeeeetheresthattrainfaraw"
      "aypianissimoeeeeeonemoresongthatwasareliefwhereveryoubeletyourwindgofree"
      "whoknowsifthatporkchopItookwithmycupofteaafterwasquitegoodwiththeheatIco"
      "uldntsmellanythingoffitImsurethatqueerlookingmanintheporkbutchersisagrea"
      "trogueIhopethatlampisnotsmokingfillmynoseupwithsmutsbetterthanhavinghiml"
      "eavingthegasonallnightIcouldntresteasyinmybedinGibraltarevengettinguptos"
      "eewhyamIsodamnednervousaboutthatthoughIlikeitinthewinteritsmorecompanyOL"
      "orditwasrottencoldtoothatwinterwhenIwasonlyabouttenwasIyesIhadthebigdoll"
      "withallthefunnyclothesdressingherupandundressingthaticywindskeetingacros"
      "sfromthosemountainsthesomethingNevadasierranevadastandingatthefirewithth"
      "elittlebitofashortshiftIhaduptoheatmyselfIloveddancingaboutinitthenmakea"
      "racebackintobedImsurethatfellowoppositeusedtobetherethewholetimewatching"
      "withthelightsoutinthesummerandIinmyskinhoppingaroundIusedtolovemyselfthe"
      "nstrippedatthewashstanddabbingandcreamingonlywhenitcametothechamberperfo"
      "rmanceIputoutthelighttoosothentherewere2ofusgoodbyetomysleepforthisnight"
      "anyhowIhopehesnotgoingtogetinwiththosemedicalsleadinghimastraytoimagineh"
      "esyoungagaincominginat4inthemorningitmustbeifnotmorestillhehadthemanners"
      "nottowakemewhatdotheyfindtogabberaboutallnightsquanderingmoneyandgetting"
      "drunkeranddrunkercouldnttheydrinkwaterthenhestartsgivingushisordersforeg"
      "gsandteaandFindonhaddyandhotbutteredtoastIsupposewellhavehimsittinguplik"
      "ethekingofthecountrypumpingthewrongendofthespoonupanddowninhiseggwhereve"
      "rhelearnedthatfromandIlovetohearhimfallingupthestairsofamorningwiththecu"
      "psrattlingonthetrayandthenplaywiththecatsherubsupagainstyouforherownsake"
      "IwonderhasshefleasshesasbadasawomanalwayslickingandleckingbutIhatetheirc"
      "lawsIwonderdotheyseeanythingthatwecantstaringlikethatwhenshesitsatthetop"
      "ofthestairssolongandlisteningasIwaitalwayswhatarobbertoothatlovelyfreshp"
      "laceIboughtIthinkIllgetabitoffishtomorrowortodayisitFridayyesIwillwithso"
      "meblancmangewithblackcurrantjamlikelongagonotthose2lbpotsofmixedplumanda"
      "pplefromtheLondonandNewcastleWilliamsandWoodsgoestwiceasfaronlyforthebon"
      "esIhatethoseeelscodyesIllgetanicepieceofcodImalwaysgettingenoughfor3forg"
      "ettinganywayImsickofthateverlastingbutchersmeatfromBuckleysloinchopsandl"
      "egbeefandribsteakandscragofmuttonandcalfsplucktheverynameisenoughorapicn"
      "icsupposeweallgaveeachandorlethimpayitandinvitesomeotherwomanforhimwhoMr"
      "sFleminganddroveouttothefurryglenorthestrawberrybedswedhavehimexamininga"
      "llthehorsestoenailsfirstlikehedoeswiththelettersnonotwithBoylanthereyesw"
      "ithsomecoldvealandhammixedsandwichestherearelittlehousesdownatthebottomo"
      "fthebanksthereonpurposebutitsashotasblazeshesaysnotabankholidayanyhowIha"
      "tethoseruckofMaryAnncoalboxesoutforthedayWhitMondayisacurseddaytoonowond"
      "erthatbeebithimbettertheseasidebutIdneveragaininthislifegetintoaboatwith"
      "himafterhimatBraytellingtheboatmanheknewhowtorowifanyoneaskedcouldheride"
      "thesteeplechaseforthegoldcuphedsayyesthenitcameontogetroughtheoldthingcr"
      "ookedingaboutandtheweightalldownmysidetellingmepulltherightreinsnowpullt"
      "heleftandthetideallswampinginfloodsinthroughthebottomandhisoarslippingou"
      "tofthestirrupitsamercywewerentalldrownedhecanswimofcoursemenotheresnodan"
      "gerwhatsoeverkeepyourselfcalminhisflanneltrousersIdliketohavetatteredthe"
      "mdownoffhimbeforeallthepeopleandgivehimwhatthatonecallsflagellatetillhew"
      "asblackandbluedohimallthegoodintheworldonlyforthatlongnosedchapIdontknow"
      "whoheiswiththatotherbeautyBurkeoutoftheCityArmshotelwastherespyingaround"
      "asusualontheslipalwayswherehewasntwantediftherewasarowonyoudvomitabetter"
      "facetherewasnolovelostbetweenusthats1consolationIwonderwhatkindisthatboo"
      "khebroughtmeSweetsofSinbyagentlemanoffashionsomeotherMrdeKockIsupposethe"
      "peoplegavehimthatnicknamegoingaboutwithhistubefromonewomantoanotherIcoul"
      "dntevenchangemynewwhiteshoesallruinedwiththesaltwaterandthehatIhadwithth"
      "atfeatherallblowyandtossedonmehowannoyingandprovokingbecausethesmellofth"
      "eseaexcitedmeofcoursethesardinesandthebreaminCatalanbayroundthebackofthe"
      "rocktheywerefineallsilverinthefishermensbasketsoldLuiginearahundredtheys"
      "aidcamefromGenoaandthetalloldchapwiththeearringsIdontlikeamanyouhavetocl"
      "imbuptotogetatIsupposetheyrealldeadandrottenlongagobesidesIdontlikebeing"
      "aloneinthisbigbarracksofaplaceatnightIsupposeIllhavetoputupwithitIneverb"
      "roughtabitofsaltinevenwhenwemovedintheconfusionmusicalacademyhewasgoingt"
      "omakeonthefirstfloordrawingroomwithabrassplateorBloomsprivatehotelhesugg"
      "estedgoandruinhimselfaltogetherthewayhisfatherdiddowninEnnislikealltheth"
      "ingshetoldfatherhewasgoingtodoandmebutIsawthroughhimtellingmeallthelovel"
      "yplaceswecouldgoforthehoneymoonVenicebymoonlightwiththegondolasandthelak"
      "eofComohehadapicturecutoutofsomepaperofandmandolinesandlanternsOhowniceI"
      "saidwhateverIlikedhewasgoingtodoimmediatelyifnotsoonerwillyoubemymanwill"
      "youcarrymycanheoughttogetaleathermedalwithaputtyrimforalltheplansheinven"
      "tsthenleavingusherealldayyoudneverknowwhatoldbeggaratthedoorforacrustwit"
      "hhislongstorymightbeatrampandputhisfootinthewaytopreventmeshuttingitlike"
      "thatpictureofthathardenedcriminalhewascalledinLloydsWeeklynews20yearsinj"
      "ailthenhecomesoutandmurdersanoldwomanforhermoneyimaginehispoorwifeormoth"
      "erorwhoeversheissuchafaceyoudrunmilesawayfromIcouldntresteasytillIbolted"
      "allthedoorsandwindowstomakesurebutitsworseagainbeinglockeduplikeinapriso"
      "noramadhousetheyoughttobeallshotorthecatofninetailsabigbrutelikethatthat"
      "wouldattackapooroldwomantomurderherinherbedIdcutthemoffhimsoIwouldnottha"
      "thedbemuchusestillbetterthannothingthenightIwassureIheardburglarsintheki"
      "tchenandhewentdowninhisshirtwithacandleandapokerasifhewaslookingforamous"
      "easwhiteasasheetfrightenedoutofhiswitsmakingasmuchnoiseashepossiblycould"
      "fortheburglarsbenefitthereisntmuchtostealindeedtheLordknowsstillitsthefe"
      "elingespeciallynowwithMillyawaysuchanideaforhimtosendthegirldowntheretol"
      "earntotakephotographsonaccountofhisgrandfatherinsteadofsendinghertoSkerr"
      "ysacademywhereshedhavetolearnnotlikemegettingallISatschoolonlyheddoathin"
      "glikethatallthesameonaccountofmeandBoylanthatswhyhediditImcertainthewayh"
      "eplotsandplanseverythingoutIcouldntturnroundwithherintheplacelatelyunles"
      "sIboltedthedoorfirstgavemethefidgetscominginwithoutknockingfirstwhenIput"
      "thechairagainstthedoorjustasIwaswashingmyselftherebelowwiththeglovegeton"
      "yournervesthendoingthelogladyalldayputherinaglasscasewithtwoatatimetoloo"
      "katherifheknewshebrokeoffthehandoffthatlittlegimcrackstatuewithherroughn"
      "essandcarelessnessbeforesheleftthatIgotthatlittleItalianboytomendsothaty"
      "oucantseethejoinfor2shillingswouldnteventeemthepotatoesforyouofcourseshe"
      "srightnottoruinherhandsInoticedhewasalwaystalkingtoherlatelyatthetableex"
      "plainingthingsinthepaperandshepretendingtounderstandslyofcoursethatcomes"
      "fromhissideofthehousehecantsayIpretendthingscanheImtoohonestasamatteroff"
      "actandhelpingherintohercoatbutiftherewasanythingwrongwithheritsmeshedtel"
      "lnothimIsupposehethinksImfinishedoutandlaidontheshelfwellImnotnonoranyth"
      "inglikeitwellseewellseenowsheswellonforflirtingtoowithTomDevanstwosonsim"
      "itatingmewhistlingwiththoserompsofMurraygirlscallingforhercanMillycomeou"
      "tpleaseshesingreatdemandtopickwhattheycanoutofherroundinNelsonstreetridi"
      "ngHarryDevansbicycleatnightitsaswellhesentherwheresheisshewasjustgetting"
      "outofboundswantingtogoontheskatingrinkandsmokingtheircigarettesthroughth"
      "eirnoseIsmeltitoffherdresswhenIwasbitingoffthethreadofthebuttonIsewedont"
      "othebottomofherjacketshecouldnthidemuchfrommeItellyouonlyIoughtnttohaves"
      "titcheditanditonheritbringsapartingandthelastplumpuddingtoosplitin2halve"
      "sseeitcomesoutnomatterwhattheysayhertongueisabittoolongformytasteyourblo"
      "useisopentoolowshesaystomethepancallingthekettleblackbottomandIhadtotell"
      "hernottocockherlegsuplikethatonshowonthewindowsillbeforeallthepeoplepass"
      "ingtheyalllookatherlikemewhenIwasherageofcourseanyoldraglookswellonyouth"
      "enagreattouchmenottooinherownwayattheOnlyWayintheTheatreroyaltakeyourfoo"
      "tawayoutofthatIhatepeopletouchingmeafraidofherlifeIdcrushherskirtwiththe"
      "pleatsalotofthattouchingmustgoonintheatresinthecrushinthedarktheyrealway"
      "stryingtowiggleuptoyouthatfellowinthepitattheGaietyforBeerbohmTreeinTril"
      "bythelasttimeIllevergotheretobesquashedlikethatforanyTrilbyorherbarebume"
      "verytwominutestippingmethereandlookingawayhesabitdaftIthinkIsawhimaftert"
      "ryingtogetneartwostylishdressedladiesoutsideSwitzerswindowatthesamelittl"
      "egameIrecognisedhimonthemomentthefaceandeverythingbuthedidntremembermeye"
      "sandshedidntevenwantmetokissherattheBroadstonegoingawaywellIhopeshellget"
      "someonetodanceattendanceonherthewayIdidwhenshewasdownwiththemumpsandherg"
      "landsswollenwheresthisandwheresthatofcourseshecantfeelanythingdeepyetIne"
      "vercameproperlytillIwaswhat22orsoitwentintothewrongplacealwaysonlytheusu"
      "algirlsnonsenseandgigglingthatConnyConnollywritingtoherinwhiteinkonblack"
      "papersealedwithsealingwaxthoughsheclappedwhenthecurtaincamedownbecausehe"
      "lookedsohandsomethenwehadMartinHarveyforbreakfastdinnerandsupperIthought"
      "tomyselfafterwardsitmustberealloveifamangivesuphislifeforherthatwayforno"
      "thingIsupposethereareafewmenlikethatleftitshardtobelieveinitthoughunless"
      "itreallyhappenedtomethemajorityofthemwithnotaparticleofloveintheirnature"
      "stofindtwopeoplelikethatnowadaysfullupofeachotherthatwouldfeelthesameway"
      "asyoudotheyreusuallyabitfoolishintheheadhisfathermusthavebeenabitqueerto"
      "goandpoisonhimselfafterherstillpooroldmanIsupposehefeltlostshesalwaysmak"
      "inglovetomythingstoothefewoldragsIhavewantingtoputherhairupatISmypowdert"
      "ooonlyruinherskinonhershestimeenoughforthatallherlifeafterofcourseshesre"
      "stlessknowingshesprettywithherlipssoredapitytheywontstaythatwayIwastoobu"
      "ttheresnousegoingtothefairwiththethingansweringmelikeafishwomanwhenIaske"
      "dtogoforahalfastoneofpotatoesthedaywemetMrsJoeGallaheratthetrottingmatch"
      "esandshepretendednottoseeusinhertrapwithFrierythesolicitorwewerentgrande"
      "noughtillIgaveher2damnfinecracksacrosstheearforherselftakethatnowforansw"
      "eringmelikethatandthatforyourimpudenceshehadmethatexasperatedofcoursecon"
      "tradictingIwasbadtemperedtoobecausehowwasittherewasaweedintheteaorIdidnt"
      "sleepthenightbeforecheeseIatewasitandItoldheroverandoveragainnottoleavek"
      "nivescrossedlikethatbecauseshehasnobodytocommandherasshesaidherselfwelli"
      "fhedoesntcorrectherfaithIwillthatwasthelasttimesheturnedontheteartapIwas"
      "justlikethatmyselftheydarentordermeabouttheplaceitshisfaultofcoursehavin"
      "gthetwoofusslavinghereinsteadofgettinginawomanlongagoamIevergoingtohavea"
      "properservantagainofcoursethenshedseehimcomingIdhavetoletherknoworshedre"
      "vengeitarenttheyanuisancethatoldMrsFlemingyouhavetobewalkingroundafterhe"
      "rputtingthethingsintoherhandssneezingandfartingintothepotswellofcoursesh"
      "esoldshecanthelpitagoodjobIfoundthatrottenoldsmellydishcloththatgotlostb"
      "ehindthedresserIknewtherewassomethingandopenedtheareawindowtoletoutthesm"
      "ellbringinginhisfriendstoentertainthemlikethenighthewalkedhomewithadogif"
      "youpleasethatmighthavebeenmadespeciallySimonDedalussonhisfathersuchacrit"
      "iciserwithhisglassesupwithhistallhatonhimatthecricketmatchandagreatbigho"
      "leinhissockonethinglaughingattheotherandhissonthatgotallthoseprizesforwh"
      "ateverhewonthemintheintermediateimagineclimbingovertherailingsifanybodys"
      "awhimthatknewusIwonderhedidnttearabigholeinhisgrandfuneraltrousersasifth"
      "eonenaturegavewasntenoughforanybodyhawkinghimdownintothedirtyoldkitchenn"
      "owisherightinhisheadIaskpityitwasntwashingdaymyoldpairofdrawersmighthave"
      "beenhanginguptooonthelineonexhibitionforallhedevercarewiththeironmouldma"
      "rkthestupidoldbundleburnedonthemhemightthinkwassomethingelseandshenevere"
      "venrendereddownthefatItoldherandnowshesgoingsuchasshewasonaccountofherpa"
      "ralysedhusbandgettingworsetheresalwayssomethingwrongwiththemdiseaseorthe"
      "yhavetogounderanoperationorifitsnotthatitsdrinkandhebeatsherIllhavetohun"
      "taroundagainforsomeoneeverydayIgetuptheressomenewthingonsweetGodsweetGod"
      "wellwhenImstretchedoutdeadinmygraveIsuppose111havesomepeaceIwanttogetupa"
      "minuteifImletwaitOJesuswaityesthatthinghascomeonmeyesnowwouldntthataffli"
      "ctyouofcourseallthepokingandrootingandploughinghehadupinmenowwhatamItodo"
      "FridaySaturdaySundaywouldntthatpesterthesouloutofabodyunlesshelikesitsom"
      "emendoGodknowstheresalwayssomethingwrongwithus5daysevery3or4weeksusualmo"
      "nthlyauctionisntitsimplysickeningthatnightitcameonmelikethattheoneandonl"
      "ytimewewereinaboxthatMichaelGunngavehimtoseeMrsKendalandherhusbandattheG"
      "aietysomethinghedidaboutinsuranceforhiminDrimmiesIwasfittobetiedthoughIw"
      "ouldntgiveinwiththatgentlemanoffashionstaringdownatmewithhisglassesandhi"
      "mtheothersideofmetalkingaboutSpinozaandhissoulthatsdeadIsupposemillionso"
      "fyearsagoIsmiledthebestIcouldallinaswampleaningforwardasifIwasinterested"
      "havingtosititoutthentothelasttagIwontforgetthatwifeofScarliinahurrysuppo"
      "sedtobeafastplayaboutadulterythatidiotinthegalleryhissingthewomanadulter"
      "essheshoutedIsupposehewentandhadawomaninthenextlanerunningroundallthebac"
      "kwaysaftertomakeupforitIwishhehadwhatIhadthenhedbooIbetthecatitselfisbet"
      "teroffthanushavewetoomuchbloodupinusorwhatOpatienceaboveitspouringoutofm"
      "eliketheseaanyhowhedidntmakemepregnantasbigasheisIdontwanttoruintheclean"
      "sheetsIjustputonIsupposethecleanlinenIworebroughtitontoodamnitdamnitandt"
      "heyalwayswanttoseeastainonthebedtoknowyoureavirginforthemallthatstroubli"
      "ngthemtheyresuchfoolstooyoucouldbeawidowordivorced40timesoveradaubofredi"
      "nkwoulddoorblackberryjuicenothatstoopurplyOJamesyletmeupoutofthispoohswe"
      "etsofsinwhoeversuggestedthatbusinessforwomenwhatbetweenclothesandcooking"
      "andchildrenthisdamnedoldbedtoojinglinglikethedickensIsupposetheycouldhea"
      "rusawayovertheothersideoftheparktillIsuggestedtoputthequiltonthefloorwit"
      "hthepillowundermybottomIwonderisitnicerinthedayIthinkitiseasyIthinkIllcu"
      "tallthishairoffmetherescaldingmeImightlooklikeayounggirlwouldnthegettheg"
      "reatsuckinthenexttimeheturnedupmyclothesonmeIdgiveanythingtoseehisfacewh"
      "eresthechambergoneeasyIveaholyhorrorofitsbreakingundermeafterthatoldcomm"
      "odeIwonderwasItooheavysittingonhiskneeImadehimsitontheeasychairpurposely"
      "whenItookoffonlymyblouseandskirtfirstintheotherroomhewassobusywhereheoug"
      "htnttobeheneverfeltmeIhopemybreathwassweetafterthosekissingcomfitseasyGo"
      "dIrememberonetimeIcouldscoutitoutstraightwhistlinglikeamanalmosteasyOLor"
      "dhownoisyIhopetheyrebubblesonitforawadofmoneyfromsomefellow111havetoperf"
      "umeitinthemorningdontforgetIbetheneversawabetterpairofthighsthanthatlook"
      "howwhitetheyarethesmoothestplaceisrighttherebetweenthisbitherehowsoftlik"
      "eapeacheasyGodIwouldntmindbeingamanandgetuponalovelywomanOLordwhatarowyo"
      "uremakinglikethejerseylilyeasyeasyOhowthewaterscomedownatLahorewhoknowsi"
      "sthereanythingthematterwithmyinsidesorhaveIsomethinggrowinginmegettingth"
      "atthinglikethateveryweekwhenwasitlastIWhitMondayyesitsonlyabout3weeksIou"
      "ghttogotothedoctoronlyitwouldbelikebeforeImarriedhimwhenIhadthatwhitethi"
      "ngcomingfrommeandFloeymademegotothatdryoldstickDrCollinsforwomensdisease"
      "sonPembrokeroadyourvaginahecalleditIsupposethatshowhegotallthegiltmirror"
      "sandcarpetsgettingroundthoserichonesoffStephensgreenrunninguptohimforeve"
      "rylittlefiddlefaddlehervaginaandhercochinchinatheyvemoneyofcoursesotheyr"
      "eallrightIwouldntmarryhimnotifhewasthelastmanintheworldbesidestheressome"
      "thingqueerabouttheirchildrenalwayssmellingaroundthosefilthybitchesallsid"
      "esaskingmeifwhatIdidhadanoffensiveodourwhatdidhewantmetodobuttheonething"
      "goldmaybewhataquestionifIsmathereditalloverhiswrinklyoldfaceforhimwithal"
      "lmycomprimentsIsupposehedknowthenandcouldyoupassiteasilypasswhatIthought"
      "hewastalkingabouttherockofGibraltarthewayheputitthatsaveryniceinventiont"
      "oobythewayonlyIlikelettingmyselfdownafterintheholeasfarasIcansqueezeandp"
      "ullthechainthentoflushitnicecoolpinsandneedlesstilltheressomethinginitIs"
      "upposeIalwaysusedtoknowbyMillyswhenshewasachildwhethershehadwormsornotst"
      "illallthesamepayinghimforthathowmuchisthatdoctoroneguineapleaseandasking"
      "mehadIfrequentomissionswheredothoseoldfellowsgetallthewordstheyhaveomiss"
      "ionswithhisshortsightedeyesonmecockedsidewaysIwouldnttrusthimtoofartogiv"
      "emechloroformorGodknowswhatelsestillIlikedhimwhenhesatdowntowritethethin"
      "goutfrowningsoseverehisnoseintelligentlikethatyoubedamnedyoulyingstrapOa"
      "nythingnomatterwhoexceptanidiothewascleverenoughtospotthatofcoursethatwa"
      "sallthinkingofhimandhismadcrazylettersmyPreciousoneeverythingconnectedwi"
      "thyourgloriousBodyeverythingunderlinedthatcomesfromitisathingofbeautyand"
      "ofjoyforeversomethinghegotoutofsomenonsensicalbookthathehadmealwaysatmys"
      "elf4and5timesadaysometimesandIsaidIhadntareyousureOyesIsaidIamquitesurei"
      "nawaythatshuthimupIknewwhatwascomingnextonlynaturalweaknessitwasheexcite"
      "dmeIdontknowhowthefirstnighteverwemetwhenIwaslivinginRehobothterracewest"
      "oodstaringatoneanotherforaboutlominutesasifwemetsomewhereIsupposeonaccou"
      "ntofmybeingjewesslookingaftermymotherheusedtoamusemethethingshesaidwitht"
      "hehalfslootheringsmileonhimandalltheDoylessaidhewasgoingtostandforamembe"
      "rofParliamentOwasntIthebornfooltobelieveallhisblatherabouthomeruleandthe"
      "landleaguesendingmethatlongstroolofasongoutoftheHuguenotstosinginFrencht"
      "obemoreclassyObeaupaysdelaTourainethatIneverevensangonceexplainingandrig"
      "marolingaboutreligionandpersecutionhewontletyouenjoyanythingnaturallythe"
      "nmightheasagreatfavourthevery1stopportunityhegotachanceinBrightonsquarer"
      "unningintomybedroompretendingtheinkgotonhishandstowashitoffwiththeAlbion"
      "milkandsulphursoapIusedtouseandthegelatinestillrounditOIlaughedmyselfsic"
      "kathimthatdayIbetternotmakeanalnightsittingonthisaffairtheyoughttomakech"
      "ambersanaturalsizesothatawomancouldsitonitproperlyhekneelsdowntodoitIsup"
      "posethereisntinallcreationanothermanwiththehabitshehaslookatthewayhessle"
      "epingatthefootofthebedhowcanhewithoutahardbolsteritswellhedoesntkickorhe"
      "mightknockoutallmyteethbreathingwithhishandonhisnoselikethatIndiangodhet"
      "ookmetoshowonewetSundayinthemuseuminKildarestreetallyellowinapinaforelyi"
      "ngonhissideonhishandwithhistentoesstickingoutthathesaidwasabiggerreligio"
      "nthanthejewsandOurLordsbothputtogetheralloverAsiaimitatinghimashesalways"
      "imitatingeverybodyIsupposeheusedtosleepatthefootofthebedtoowithhisbigsqu"
      "arefeetupinhiswifesmouthdamnthisstinkingthinganywaywheresthisthosenapkin"
      "sareahyesIknowIhopetheoldpressdoesntcreakahIknewitwouldhessleepinghardha"
      "dagoodtimesomewherestillshemusthavegivenhimgreatvalueforhismoneyofcourse"
      "hehastopayforitfromherOthisnuisanceofathingIhopetheyllhavesomethingbette"
      "rforusintheotherworldtyingourselvesupGodhelpusthatsallrightfortonightnow"
      "thelumpyoldjinglybedalwaysremindsmeofoldCohenIsupposehescratchedhimselfi"
      "nitoftenenoughandhethinksfatherboughtitfromLordNapierthatIusedtoadmirewh"
      "enIwasalittlegirlbecauseItoldhimeasypianoOIlikemybedGodhereweareasbadase"
      "verafter16yearshowmanyhouseswereweinatallRaymondterraceandOntarioterrace"
      "andLombardstreetandHollesstreetandhegoesaboutwhistlingeverytimewereonthe"
      "runagainhishuguenotsorthefrogsmarchpretendingtohelpthemenwithour4stickso"
      "ffurnitureandthentheCityArmshotelworseandworsesaysWardenDalythatcharming"
      "placeonthelandingalwayssomebodyinsideprayingthenleavingalltheirstinksaft"
      "erthemalwaysknowwhowasintherelasteverytimewerejustgettingonrightsomethin"
      "ghappensorheputshisbigfootinitThomsandHelysandMrCuffesandDrimmieseitherh"
      "esgoingtoberunintoprisonoverhisoldlotteryticketsthatwastobealloursalvati"
      "onsorhegoesandgivesimpudencewellhavehimcominghomewiththesacksoonoutofthe"
      "FreemantooliketherestonaccountofthoseSinnerFeinorthefreemasonsthenwellse"
      "eifthelittlemanheshowedmedribblingalonginthewetallbyhimselfroundbyCoadys"
      "lanewillgivehimmuchconsolationthathesaysissocapableandsincerelyIrishheis"
      "indeedjudgingbythesincerityofthetrousersIsawonhimwaittheresGeorgeschurch"
      "bellswait3quartersthehourlwait2oclockwellthatsanicehourofthenightforhimt"
      "obecominghomeattoanybodyclimbingdownintotheareaifanybodysawhimIllknockhi"
      "moffthatlittlehabittomorrowfirstIlllookathisshirttoseeorIllseeifhehastha"
      "tFrenchletterstillinhispocketbookIsupposehethinksIdontknowdeceitfulmenal"
      "ltheir20pocketsarentenoughfortheirliesthenwhyshouldwetellthemevenifitsth"
      "etruththeydontbelieveyouthentuckedupinbedlikethosebabiesintheAristocrats"
      "Masterpiecehebroughtmeanothertimeasifwehadntenoughofthatinreallifewithou"
      "tsomeoldAristocratorwhateverhisnameisdisgustingyoumorewiththoserottenpic"
      "tureschildrenwithtwoheadsandnolegsthatsthekindofvillainytheyrealwaysdrea"
      "mingaboutwithnotanotherthingintheiremptyheadstheyoughttogetslowpoisonthe"
      "halfofthemthenteaandtoastforhimbutteredonbothsidesandnewlaideggsIsuppose"
      "ImnothinganymorewhenIwouldntlethimlickmeinHollesstreetonenightmanmantyra"
      "ntaseverfortheonethinghesleptonthefloorhalfthenightnakedthewaythejewsuse"
      "dwhensomebodydiesbelongedtothemandwouldnteatanybreakfastorspeakawordwant"
      "ingtobepettedsoIthoughtIstoodoutenoughforonetimeandlethimhedoesitallwron"
      "gtoothinkingonlyofhisownpleasurehistongueistooflatorIdontknowwhatheforge"
      "tsthatwethenIdontIllmakehimdoitagainifhedoesntmindhimselfandlockhimdownt"
      "osleepinthecoalcellarwiththeblackbeetlesIwonderwasitherJosieoffherheadwi"
      "thmycastoffshessuchabornliartoonohedneverhavethecouragewithamarriedwoman"
      "thatswhyhewantsmeandBoylanthoughasforherDenisasshecallshimthatforlornloo"
      "kingspectacleyoucouldntcallhimahusbandyesitssomelittlebitchhesgotinwithe"
      "venwhenIwaswithhimwithMillyattheCollegeracesthatHornblowerwiththechildsb"
      "onnetonthetopofhisnobletusintobythebackwayhewasthrowinghissheepseyesatth"
      "osetwodoingskirtdutyupanddownItriedtowinkathimfirstnouseofcourseandthats"
      "thewayhismoneygoesthisisthefruitsofMrPaddyDignamyestheywereallingreatsty"
      "leatthegrandfuneralinthepaperBoylanbroughtiniftheysawarealofficersfunera"
      "lthatdbesomethingreversedarmsmuffleddrumsthepoorhorsewalkingbehindinblac"
      "kLBoomandTomKernanthatdrunkenlittlebarrellymanthatbithistongueofffalling"
      "downthemensWCdrunkinsomeplaceorotherandMartinCunninghamandthetwoDedaluse"
      "sandFannyMCoyshusbandwhiteheadofcabbageskinnythingwithaturninhereyetryin"
      "gtosingmysongsshedwanttobebornalloveragainandheroldgreendresswiththelown"
      "eckasshecantattractthemanyotherwaylikedabblingonarainydayIseeitallnowpla"
      "inlyandtheycallthatfriendshipkillingandthenburyingoneanotherandtheyallwi"
      "ththeirwivesandfamiliesathomemoreespeciallyJackPowerkeepingthatbarmaidhe"
      "doesofcoursehiswifeisalwayssickorgoingtobesickorjustgettingbetterofitand"
      "hesagoodlookingmanstillthoughhesgettingabitgreyovertheearstheyreanicelot"
      "allofthemwelltheyrenotgoingtogetmyhusbandagainintotheirclutchesifIcanhel"
      "pitmakingfunofhimthenbehindhisbackIknowwellwhenhegoesonwithhisidioticsbe"
      "causehehassenseenoughnottosquandereverypennypieceheearnsdowntheirgullets"
      "andlooksafterhiswifeandfamilygoodfornothingspoorPaddyDignamallthesameIms"
      "orryinawayforhimwhatarehiswifeand5childrengoingtodounlesshewasinsuredcom"
      "icallittleteetotumalwaysstuckupinsomepubcornerandherorhersonwaitingBillB"
      "aileywontyoupleasecomehomeherwidowsweedswontimproveherappearancetheyreaw"
      "fullybecomingthoughifyouregoodlookingwhatmenwasntheyeshewasattheGlencree"
      "dinnerandBenDollardbasebarreltonethenightheborrowedtheswallowtailtosingo"
      "utofinHollesstreetsqueezedandsquashedintothemandgrinningalloverhisbigDol"
      "lyfacelikeawellwhippedchildsbottydidnthelookabalmyballockssureenoughthat"
      "musthavebeenaspectacleonthestageimaginepaying5inthepreservedseatsforthat"
      "toseehimtrottingoffinhistrowlersandSimonDedalustoohewasalwaysturningupha"
      "lfscrewedsingingthesecondversefirsttheoldloveisthenewwasoneofhissosweetl"
      "ysangthemaidenonthehawthornboughhewasalwaysonforflirtyfyingtoowhenIsangM"
      "aritanawithhimatFreddyMayersprivateoperahehadadeliciousgloriousvoicePhoe"
      "bedearestgoodbyesweetheartsweethearthealwayssangitnotlikeBartellDarcyswe"
      "ettartgoodbyeofcoursehehadthegiftofthevoicesotherewasnoartinitalloveryou"
      "likeawarmshowerbathOMaritanawildwoodflowerwesangsplendidlythoughitwasabi"
      "ttoohighformyregistereventransposedandhewasmarriedatthetimetoMayGoulding"
      "butthenhedsayordosomethingtoknockthegoodoutofithesawidowernowIwonderwhat"
      "sortishissonhesayshesanauthorandgoingtobeauniversityprofessorofItalianan"
      "dImtotakelessonswhatishedrivingatnowshowinghimmyphotoitsnotgoodofmeIough"
      "ttohavegotittakenindraperythatneverlooksoutoffashionstillIlookyounginitI"
      "wonderhedidntmakehimapresentofitaltogetherandmetooafterallwhynotIsawhimd"
      "rivingdowntotheKingsbridgestationwithhisfatherandmotherIwasinmourningtha"
      "ts11yearsagonowyeshedbe11thoughwhatwasthegoodingoingintomourningforwhatw"
      "asneitheronethingnortheotherthefirstcrywasenoughformeIheardthedeathwatch"
      "tootickinginthewallofcourseheinsistedhedgointomourningforthecatIsupposeh"
      "esamannowbythistimehewasaninnocentboythenandadarlinglittlefellowinhislor"
      "dFauntleroysuitandcurlyhairlikeaprinceonthestagewhenIsawhimatMatDillonsh"
      "elikedmetooIremembertheyalldowaitbyGodyeswaityesholdonhewasonthecardsthi"
      "smorningwhenIlaidoutthedeckunionwithayoungstrangerneitherdarknorfairyoum"
      "etbeforeIthoughtitmeanthimbuthesnochickennorastrangereitherbesidesmyface"
      "wasturnedtheotherwaywhatwasthe7thcardafterthatthe10ofspadesforajourneyby"
      "landthentherewasaletteronitswayandscandalstoothe3queensandthe8ofdiamonds"
      "forariseinsocietyyeswaititallcameoutand2red8sfornewgarmentslookatthatand"
      "didntIdreamsomethingtooyestherewassomethingaboutpoetryinitIhopehehasntlo"
      "nggreasyhairhangingintohiseyesorstandinguplikearedIndianwhatdotheygoabou"
      "tlikethatforonlygettingthemselvesandtheirpoetrylaughedatIalwayslikedpoet"
      "rywhenIwasagirlfirstIthoughthewasapoetlikelordByronandnotanounceofitinhi"
      "scompositionIthoughthewasquitedifferentIwonderishetooyounghesaboutwait88"
      "Iwasmarried88Millyis15yesterday89whatagewashethenatDillons5or6about88Isu"
      "pposehes20ormoreImnottoooldforhimifhes23or24Ihopehesnotthatstuckupuniver"
      "sitystudentsortnootherwisehewouldntgosittingdownintheoldkitchenwithhimta"
      "kingEppsscocoaandtalkingofcoursehepretendedtounderstanditallprobablyheto"
      "ldhimhewasoutofTrinitycollegehesveryyoungtobeaprofessorIhopehesnotaprofe"
      "ssorlikeGoodwinwashewasapotentprofessorofJohnJamesontheyallwriteaboutsom"
      "ewomanintheirpoetrywellIsupposehewontfindmanylikemewheresoftlysighsoflov"
      "ethelightguitarwherepoetryisintheairtheblueseaandthemoonshiningsobeautif"
      "ullycomingbackonthenightboatfromTarifathelighthouseatEuropapointtheguita"
      "rthatfellowplayedwassoexpressivewillIevergobackthereagainallnewfacestwog"
      "lancingeyesalatticehidIllsingthatforhimtheyremyeyesifhesanythingofapoett"
      "woeyesasdarklybrightaslovesownstararentthosebeautifulwordsaslovesyoungst"
      "aritllbeachangetheLordknowstohaveanintelligentpersontotalktoaboutyoursel"
      "fnotalwayslisteningtohimandBillyPrescottsadandKeyessadandTomtheDevilsadt"
      "henifanythinggoeswrongintheirbusinesswehavetosufferImsurehesverydistingu"
      "ishedIdliketomeetamanlikethatGodnotthoseotherruckbesideshesyoungthosefin"
      "eyoungmenIcouldseedowninMargatestrandbathingplacefromthesideoftherocksta"
      "ndingupinthesunnakedlikeaGodorsomethingandthenplungingintotheseawiththem"
      "whyarentallmenlikethattheredbesomeconsolationforawomanlikethatlovelylitt"
      "lestatueheboughtIcouldlookathimalldaylongcurlyheadandhisshouldershisfing"
      "erupforyoutolistentheresrealbeautyandpoetryforyouIoftenfeltIwantedtokiss"
      "himalloveralsohislovelyyoungcocktheresosimpleIwouldntmindtakinghiminmymo"
      "uthifnobodywaslookingasifitwasaskingyoutosuckitsocleanandwhitehelookswit"
      "hhisboyishfaceIwouldtooin12aminuteevenifsomeofitwentdownwhatitsonlylikeg"
      "ruelorthedewtheresnodangerbesideshedbesocleancomparedwiththosepigsofmenI"
      "supposeneverdreamofwashingitfromIyearsendtotheotherthemostofthemonlythat"
      "swhatgivesthewomenthemoustachesImsureitllbegrandifIcanonlygetinwithahand"
      "someyoungpoetatmyageIllthrowthemthe1stthinginthemorningtillIseeifthewish"
      "cardcomesoutorIlltrypairingtheladyherselfandseeifhecomesoutIllreadandstu"
      "dyallIcanfindorlearnabitoffbyheartifIknewwhohelikessohewontthinkmestupid"
      "ifhethinksallwomenarethesameandIcanteachhimtheotherpartIllmakehimfeelall"
      "overhimtillhehalffaintsundermethenhellwriteaboutmeloverandmistresspublic"
      "lytoowithour2photographsinallthepaperswhenhebecomesfamousObutthenwhatamI"
      "goingtodoabouthimthoughnothatsnowayforhimhashenomannersnornorefinementno"
      "rnonothinginhisnatureslappingusbehindlikethatonmybottombecauseIdidntcall"
      "himHughtheignoramusthatdoesntknowpoetryfromacabbagethatswhatyougetfornot"
      "keepingthemintheirproperplacepullingoffhisshoesandtrousersthereonthechai"
      "rbeforemesobarefacedwithoutevenaskingpermissionandstandingoutthatvulgarw"
      "ayinthehalfofashirttheyweartobeadmiredlikeapriestorabutcherorthoseoldhyp"
      "ocritesinthetimeofJuliusCaesarofcoursehesrightenoughinhiswaytopassthetim"
      "easajokesureyoumightaswellbeinbedwithwhatwithalionGodImsurehedhavesometh"
      "ingbettertosayforhimselfanoldLionwouldOwellIsupposeitsbecausetheyweresop"
      "lumpandtemptinginmyshortpetticoathecouldntresisttheyexcitemyselfsometime"
      "sitswellformenalltheamountofpleasuretheygetoffawomansbodyweresoroundandw"
      "hiteforthemalwaysIwishedIwasonemyselfforachangejusttotrywiththatthingthe"
      "yhaveswellinguponyousohardandatthesametimesosoftwhenyoutouchitmyuncleJoh"
      "nhasathinglongIheardthosecornerboyssayingpassingthecomerofMarrowbonelane"
      "myauntMaryhasathinghairybecauseitwasdarkandtheyknewagirlwaspassingitdidn"
      "tmakemeblushwhyshoulditeitheritsonlynatureandheputshisthinglongintomyaun"
      "tMaryshairyetceteraandturnsouttobeyouputthehandleinasweepingbrushmenagai"
      "nallovertheycanpickandchoosewhattheypleaseamarriedwomanorafastwidoworagi"
      "rlfortheirdifferenttasteslikethosehousesroundbehindIrishstreetnobutweret"
      "obealwayschaineduptheyrenotgoingtobechainingmeupnodamnfearonceIstartItel"
      "lyoufortheirstupidhusbandsjealousywhycantweallremainfriendsoveritinstead"
      "ofquarrellingherhusbandfounditoutwhattheydidtogetherwellnaturallyandifhe"
      "didcanheundoithescoronadoanywaywhateverhedoesandthenhegoingtotheothermad"
      "extremeaboutthewifeinFairTyrantsofcoursethemanneverevencastsa2ndthoughto"
      "nthehusbandorwifeeitheritsthewomanhewantsandhegetsherwhatelsewerewegiven"
      "allthosedesiresforIdliketoknowIcanthelpitifImyoungstillcanIitsawonderImn"
      "otanoldshrivelledhagbeforemytimelivingwithhimsocoldneverembracingmeexcep"
      "tsometimeswhenhesasleepthewrongendofmenotknowingIsupposewhohehasanymanth"
      "atdkissawomansbottomIdthrowmyhatathimafterthathedkissanythingunnaturalwh"
      "erewehaventIatomofanykindofexpressioninusallofusthesame2lumpsoflardbefor"
      "eeverIddothattoamanpfoohthedirtybrutesthemerethoughtisenoughIkissthefeet"
      "ofyousenoritatheressomesenseinthatdidnthekissourhalldooryeshedidwhatamad"
      "mannobodyunderstandshiscrackedideasbutmestillofcourseawomanwantstobeembr"
      "aced20timesadayalmosttomakeherlookyoungnomatterbywhosolongastobeinloveor"
      "lovedbysomebodyifthefellowyouwantisnttheresometimesbytheLordGodIwasthink"
      "ingwouldIgoaroundbythequaystheresomedarkeveningwherenobodydknowmeandpick"
      "upasailorofftheseathatdbehotonforitandnotcareapinwhoseIwasonlydoitoffupi"
      "nagatesomewhereoroneofthosewildlookinggipsiesinRathfarnhamhadtheircamppi"
      "tchedneartheBloomfieldlaundrytotryandstealourthingsiftheycouldIonlysentm"
      "inethereafewtimesforthenamemodellaundrysendingmebackoverandoversomeoldon"
      "esoddstockingsthatblackguardlookingfellowwiththefineeyespeelingaswitchat"
      "tackmeinthedarkandridemeupagainstthewallwithoutawordoramurdereranybodywh"
      "attheydothemselvesthefinegentlemenintheirsilkhatsthatKClivesupsomewheret"
      "hiswaycomingoutofHardwickelanethenighthegaveusthefishsupperonaccountofwi"
      "nningovertheboxingmatchofcourseitwasformehegaveitIknewhimbyhisgaitersand"
      "thewalkandwhenIturnedroundaminuteafterjusttoseetherewasawomanaftercoming"
      "outofittoosomefilthyprostitutethenhegoeshometohiswifeafterthatonlyIsuppo"
      "sethehalfofthosesailorsarerottenagainwithdiseaseOmoveoveryourbigcarcasso"
      "utofthatfortheloveofMikelistentohimthewindsthatwaftmysighstotheesowellhe"
      "maysleepandsighthegreatSuggesterDonPoldodelaFloraifheknewhowhecameoutont"
      "hecardsthismorninghedhavesomethingtosighforadarkmaninsomeperplexitybetwe"
      "en27stooinprisonforLordknowswhathedoesthatIdontknowandImtobesloochingaro"
      "unddowninthekitchentogethislordshiphisbreakfastwhilehesrolleduplikeamumm"
      "ywillIindeeddidyoueverseemerunningIdjustliketoseemyselfatitshowthematten"
      "tionandtheytreatyoulikedirtIdontcarewhatanybodysaysitdbemuchbetterforthe"
      "worldtobegovernedbythewomeninityouwouldntseewomengoingandkillingoneanoth"
      "erandslaughteringwhendoyoueverseewomenrollingarounddrunkliketheydoorgamb"
      "lingeverypennytheyhaveandlosingitonhorsesyesbecauseawomanwhatevershedoes"
      "sheknowswheretostopsuretheywouldntbeintheworldatallonlyforustheydontknow"
      "whatitistobeawomanandamotherhowcouldtheywherewouldtheyallofthembeiftheyh"
      "adntallamothertolookafterthemwhatIneverhadthatswhyIsupposehesrunningwild"
      "nowoutatnightawayfromhisbooksandstudiesandnotlivingathomeonaccountoftheu"
      "sualrowyhouseIsupposewellitsapoorcasethatthosethathaveafinesonlikethatth"
      "eyrenotsatisfiedandInonewashenotabletomakeoneitwasntmyfaultwecametogethe"
      "rwhenIwaswatchingthetwodogsupinherbehindinthemiddleofthenakedstreetthatd"
      "isheartenedmealtogetherIsupposeIoughtnttohaveburiedhiminthatlittlewoolly"
      "jacketIknittedcryingasIwasbutgiveittosomepoorchildbutIknewwellIdneverhav"
      "eanotherour1stdeathtooitwaswewereneverthesamesinceOImnotgoingtothinkmyse"
      "lfintothegloomsaboutthatanymoreIwonderwhyhewouldntstaythenightIfeltallth"
      "etimeitwassomebodystrangehebroughtininsteadofrovingaroundthecitymeetingG"
      "odknowswhonightwalkersandpickpocketshispoormotherwouldntlikethatifshewas"
      "aliveruininghimselfforlifeperhapsstillitsalovelyhoursosilentIusedtolovec"
      "ominghomeafterdancestheairofthenighttheyhavefriendstheycantalktowevenone"
      "eitherhewantswhathewontgetoritssomewomanreadytostickherknifeinyouIhateth"
      "atinwomennowondertheytreatusthewaytheydoweareadreadfullotofbitchesIsuppo"
      "seitsallthetroubleswehavemakesussosnappyImnotlikethathecouldeasyhaveslep"
      "tinthereonthesofaintheotherroomIsupposehewasasshyasaboyhebeingsoyounghar"
      "dly20ofmeinthenextroomhedhaveheardmeonthechamberarrahwhatharmDedalusIwon"
      "deritslikethosenamesinGibraltarDelapazDelagraciatheyhadthedevilsqueernam"
      "estherefatherVilaplanaofSantaMariathatgavemetherosaryRosalesyOReillyinth"
      "eCallelasSieteRevueltasandPisimboandMrsOpissoinGovernorstreetOwhatanameI"
      "dgoanddrownmyselfinthefirstriverifIhadanamelikeherOmyandallthebitsofstre"
      "etsParadiserampandBedlamrampandRodgersrampandCrutchettsrampandthedevilsg"
      "apstepswellsmallblametomeifIamaharumscarumIknowIamabitIdeclaretoGodIdont"
      "feeladayolderthanthenIwondercouldIgetmytongueroundanyoftheSpanishcomoest"
      "austedmuybiengraciasyustedseeIhaventforgottenitallIthoughtIhadonlyforthe"
      "grammaranounisthenameofanypersonplaceorthingpityInevertriedtoreadthatnov"
      "elcantankerousMrsRubiolentmebyValerawiththequestionsinitallupsidedownthe"
      "twowaysIalwaysknewwedgoawayintheendIcantellhimtheSpanishandhetellmetheIt"
      "alianthenhellseeImnotsoignorantwhatapityhedidntstayImsurethepoorfellowwa"
      "sdeadtiredandwantedagoodsleepbadlyIcouldhavebroughthiminhisbreakfastinbe"
      "dwithabitoftoastsolongasIdidntdoitontheknifeforbadluckorifthewomanwasgoi"
      "ngherroundswiththewatercressandsomethingniceandtastythereareafewolivesin"
      "thekitchenhemightlikeInevercouldbearthelookoftheminAbrinesIcoulddothecri"
      "adatheroomlooksallrightsinceIchangedittheotherwayyouseesomethingwastelli"
      "ngmeallthetimeIdhavetointroducemyselfnotknowingmefromAdamveryfunnywouldn"
      "titImhiswifeorpretendwewereinSpainwithhimhalfawakewithoutaGodsnotionwher"
      "eheisdoshuevosestrelladossenorLordthecrackedthingscomeintomyheadsometime"
      "sitdbegreatfunsupposinghestayedwithuswhynottherestheroomupstairsemptyand"
      "Millysbedinthebackroomhecoulddohiswritingandstudiesatthetableintherefora"
      "llthescribblinghedoesatitandifhewantstoreadinbedinthemorninglikemeashesm"
      "akingthebreakfastforIhecanmakeitfor2ImsureImnotgoingtotakeinlodgersoffth"
      "estreetforhimifhetakesagesaboofahouselikethisIdlovetohavealongtalkwithan"
      "intelligentwelleducatedpersonIdhavetogetanicepairofredslipperslikethoseT"
      "urkswiththefezusedtoselloryellowandanicesemitransparentmorninggownthatIb"
      "adlywantorapeachblossomdressingjacketliketheonelongagoinWalpolesonly86or"
      "186IlljustgivehimonemorechanceIllgetupearlyinthemorningImsickofCohensold"
      "bedinanycaseImightgoovertothemarketstoseeallthevegetablesandcabbagesandt"
      "omatoesandcarrotsandallkindsofsplendidfruitsallcominginlovelyandfreshwho"
      "knowswhodbethe1stmanIdmeettheyreoutlookingforitinthemorningMamyDillonuse"
      "dtosaytheyareandthenighttoothatwashermassgoingIdloveabigjuicypearnowtome"
      "ltinyourmouthlikewhenIusedtobeinthelongingwaythenIllthrowhimuphiseggsand"
      "teainthemoustachecupshegavehimtomakehismouthbiggerIsupposehedlikemynicec"
      "reamtooIknowwhatIlldoIllgoaboutrathergaynottoomuchsingingabitnowandthenm"
      "ifapietaMasettothenIllstartdressingmyselftogooutprestononsonpiuforteIllp"
      "utonmybestshiftanddrawerslethimhaveagoodeyefuloutofthattomakehismickysta"
      "ndforhimIlllethimknowifthatswhathewantedthathiswifeisIslofuckedyesanddam"
      "nwellfuckedtoouptomynecknearlynotbyhim5or6timeshandrunningtheresthemarko"
      "fhisspunkonthecleansheetIwouldntbothertoevenironitoutthatoughttosatisfyh"
      "imifyoudontbelievemefeelmybellyunlessImadehimstandthereandputhimintomeIv"
      "eamindtotellhimeveryscrapandmakehimdoitoutinfrontofmeservehimrightitsall"
      "hisownfaultifIamanadulteressasthethinginthegallerysaidOmuchaboutitifthat"
      "salltheharmeverwedidinthisvaleoftearsGodknowsitsnotmuchdoesnteverybodyon"
      "lytheyhideitIsupposethatswhatawomanissupposedtobetherefororHewouldnthave"
      "madeusthewayHedidsoattractivetomenthenifhewantstokissmybottomIlldragopen"
      "mydrawersandbulgeitrightoutinhisfaceaslargeaslifehecanstickhistongue7mil"
      "esupmyholeashestheremybrownpartthenIlltellhimIwantLIorperhaps30Illtellhi"
      "mIwanttobuyunderclothesthenifhegivesmethatwellhewontbetoobadIdontwanttos"
      "oakitalloutofhimlikeotherwomendoIcouldoftenhavewrittenoutafinechequeform"
      "yselfandwritehisnameonitforacoupleofpoundsafewtimesheforgottolockitupbes"
      "ideshewontspenditIlllethimdoitoffonmebehindprovidedhedoesntsmearallmygoo"
      "ddrawersOIsupposethatcantbehelpedIlldotheindifferentlor2questionsIllknow"
      "bytheanswerswhenheslikethathecantkeepathingbackIknoweveryturninhimIlltig"
      "htenmybottomwellandletoutafewsmuttywordssmellrumporlickmyshitorthefirstm"
      "adthingcomesintomyheadthenIllsuggestaboutyesOwaitnowsonnymyturniscomingI"
      "llbequitegayandfriendlyoveritObutIwasforgettingthisbloodypestofathingpfo"
      "ohyouwouldntknowwhichtolaughorcryweresuchamixtureofplumandapplenoIllhave"
      "toweartheoldthingssomuchthebetteritllbemorepointedhellneverknowwhetherhe"
      "diditornottherethatsgoodenoughforyouanyoldthingatallthenIllwipehimoffmej"
      "ustlikeabusinesshisomissionthenIllgooutIllhavehimeyingupattheceilingwher"
      "eisshegonenowmakehimwantmethatstheonlywayaquarterafterwhatanunearthlyhou"
      "rIsupposetheyrejustgettingupinChinanowcombingouttheirpigtailsforthedaywe"
      "llsoonhavethenunsringingtheangelustheyvenobodycomingintospoiltheirsleepe"
      "xceptanoddpriestortwoforhisnightofficeorthealarmclocknextdooratcockshout"
      "clatteringthebrainsoutofitselfletmeseeifIcandozeoff12345whatkindofflower"
      "sarethosetheyinventedlikethestarsthewallpaperinLombardstreetwasmuchnicer"
      "theapronhegavemewaslikethatsomethingonlyIonlyworeittwicebetterlowerthisl"
      "ampandtryagainsoasIcangetupearlyIllgotoLambestherebesideFindlatersandget"
      "themtosendussomeflowerstoputabouttheplaceincasehebringshimhometomorrowto"
      "dayImeannonoFridaysanunluckydayfirstIwanttodotheplaceupsomewaythedustgro"
      "wsinitIthinkwhileImasleepthenwecanhavemusicandcigarettesIcanaccompanyhim"
      "firstImustcleanthekeysofthepianowithmilkwhatllIwearshallIwearawhiteroseo"
      "rthosefairycakesinLiptonsIlovethesmellofarichbigshopat712dalbortheothero"
      "neswiththecherriesinthemandthepinkysugarIIdacoupleoflbsofthoseaniceplant"
      "forthemiddleofthetableIdgetthatcheaperinwaitwheresthisIsawthemnotlongago"
      "IloveflowersIdlovetohavethewholeplaceswimminginrosesGodofheaventheresnot"
      "hinglikenaturethewildmountainsthentheseaandthewavesrushingthenthebeautif"
      "ulcountrywiththefieldsofoatsandwheatandallkindsofthingsandallthefinecatt"
      "legoingaboutthatwoulddoyourheartgoodtoseeriversandlakesandflowersallsort"
      "sofshapesandsmellsandcoloursspringingupevenoutoftheditchesprimrosesandvi"
      "oletsnatureitisasforthemsayingtheresnoGodIwouldntgiveasnapofmytwofingers"
      "foralltheirlearningwhydonttheygoandcreatesomethingIoftenaskedhimatheists"
      "orwhatevertheycallthemselvesgoandwashthecobblesoffthemselvesfirstthenthe"
      "ygohowlingforthepriestandtheydyingandwhywhybecausetheyreafraidofhellonac"
      "countoftheirbadconscienceahyesIknowthemwellwhowasthefirstpersonintheuniv"
      "ersebeforetherewasanybodythatmadeitallwhoahthattheydontknowneitherdoIsot"
      "hereyouaretheymightaswelltrytostopthesunfromrisingtomorrowthesunshinesfo"
      "ryouhesaidthedaywewerelyingamongtherhododendronsonHowthheadinthegreytwee"
      "dsuitandhisstrawhatthedayIgothimtoproposetomeyesfirstIgavehimthebitofsee"
      "dcakeoutofmymouthanditwasleapyearlikenowyes16yearsagomyGodafterthatlongk"
      "issInearlostmybreathyeshesaidIwasaflowerofthemountainyessoweareflowersal"
      "lawomansbodyyesthatwasonetruethinghesaidinhislifeandthesunshinesforyouto"
      "dayyesthatwaswhyIlikedhimbecauseIsawheunderstoodorfeltwhatawomanisandIkn"
      "ewIcouldalwaysgetroundhimandIgavehimallthepleasureIcouldleadinghimontill"
      "heaskedmetosayyesandIwouldntanswerfirstonlylookedoutovertheseaandtheskyI"
      "wasthinkingofsomanythingshedidntknowofMulveyandMrStanhopeandHesterandfat"
      "herandoldcaptainGrovesandthesailorsplayingallbirdsflyandIsaystoopandwash"
      "ingupdishestheycalleditonthepierandthesentryinfrontofthegovernorshousewi"
      "ththethingroundhiswhitehelmetpoordevilhalfroastedandtheSpanishgirlslaugh"
      "ingintheirshawlsandtheirtallcombsandtheauctionsinthemorningtheGreeksandt"
      "hejewsandtheArabsandthedevilknowswhoelsefromalltheendsofEuropeandDukestr"
      "eetandthefowlmarketallcluckingoutsideLarbySharonsandthepoordonkeysslippi"
      "nghalfasleepandthevaguefellowsinthecloaksasleepintheshadeonthestepsandth"
      "ebigwheelsofthecartsofthebullsandtheoldcastlethousandsofyearsoldyesandth"
      "osehandsomeMoorsallinwhiteandturbanslikekingsaskingyoutositdownintheirli"
      "ttlebitofashopandRondawiththeoldwindowsoftheposadas2glancingeyesalattice"
      "hidforherlovertokisstheironandthewineshopshalfopenatnightandthecastanets"
      "andthenightwemissedtheboatatAlgecirasthewatchmangoingaboutserenewithhisl"
      "ampandOthatawfuldeepdowntorrentOandtheseatheseacrimsonsometimeslikefirea"
      "ndtheglorioussunsetsandthefigtreesintheAlamedagardensyesandallthequeerli"
      "ttlestreetsandthepinkandblueandyellowhousesandtherosegardensandthejessam"
      "ineandgeraniumsandcactusesandGibraltarasagirlwhereIwasaFlowerofthemounta"
      "inyeswhenIputtheroseinmyhairliketheAndalusiangirlsusedorshallIweararedye"
      "sandhowhekissedmeundertheMoorishwallandIthoughtwellaswellhimasanotherand"
      "thenIaskedhimwithmyeyestoaskagainyesandthenheaskedmewouldIyestosayyesmym"
      "ountainflowerandfirstIputmyarmsaroundhimyesanddrewhimdowntomesohecouldfe"
      "elmybreastsallperfumeyesandhisheartwasgoinglikemadandyesIsaidyesIwillYe"
      "s";
  printf("The longest sentence is %d characters long.\n", strlen(MollyBloom));
  return 0;
}


x86 assembly (clang, -O0):
<main>:
push   %rbp
mov    %rsp,%rbp
sub    $0x20,%rsp
movl   $0x0,-0x4(%rbp)
mov    -0x10(%rbp),%rsi
lea    0xec6(%rip),%rdi
mov    $0x0,%al
call   1040 <printf@plt>
lea    0xecc(%rip),%rdi
mov    $0x0,%al
call   1040 <printf@plt>
movq   $0x1d,-0x10(%rbp)
mov    -0x10(%rbp),%rsi
lea    0xe9e(%rip),%rdi
mov    $0x0,%al
call   1040 <printf@plt>
lea    0xed7(%rip),%rax
mov    %rax,-0x18(%rbp)
lea    0xee2(%rip),%rax
mov    %rax,-0x20(%rbp)
mov    -0x20(%rbp),%rdi
call   1030 <strlen@plt>
mov    %eax,%esi
lea    0xd4cd(%rip),%rdi
mov    $0x0,%al
call   1040 <printf@plt>
xor    %eax,%eax
add    $0x20,%rsp
pop    %rbp
ret

x86 assembly (clang, -O2):
<main>:
push   %rbx
lea    0xec8(%rip),%rbx
mov    $0x1d,%esi
mov    %rbx,%rdi
xor    %eax,%eax
call   1050 <printf@plt>
lea    0xd4f4(%rip),%rdi
call   1030 <puts@plt>
mov    $0x1d,%esi
mov    %rbx,%rdi
xor    %eax,%eax
call   1050 <printf@plt>
lea    0xeab(%rip),%rdi
call   1040 <strlen@plt>
lea    0xd4a0(%rip),%rdi
mov    %eax,%esi
xor    %eax,%eax
call   1050 <printf@plt>
xor    %eax,%eax
pop    %rbx
ret

LLVM IR (-O0):
@.str = [20 x i8] c"I am %d years old!\0A\00"
@.str.1 = [51 x i8] c"Wait... no... that's the SIZE of a long int in C.\0A\00"
@.str.2 = [22 x i8] c"How long is too long?\00"
@.str.3 = [50689 x i8] c"MulveyswasthefirstwhenIwasinbedthatmorningandMrsRubiobroughtitinwiththecoffeeshestoodtherestandingwhenIaskedhertohandmeandIpointingatthemIcouldntthinkofthewordahairpintoopenitwithahhorquilladisobligingoldthinganditstaringherinthefacewithherswitchoffalsehaironherandvainaboutherappearanceuglyasshewasnear80oralooherfaceamassofwrinkleswithallherreligiondomineeringbecauseshenevercouldgetovertheAtlanticfleetcominginhalftheshipsoftheworldandtheUnionJackflyingwithallhercarabinerosbecause4drunkenEnglishsailorstookalltherockfromthemandbecauseIdidntrunintomassoftenenoughinSantaMariatopleaseherwithhershawluponherexceptwhentherewasamarriageonwithallhermiraclesofthesaintsandherblackblessedvirginwiththesilverdressandthesundancing3timesonEasterSundaymorningandwhenthepriestwasgoingbywiththebellbringingthevaticantothedyingblessingherselfforhisMajestadanadmirerhesigneditInearjumpedoutofmyskinIwantedtopickhimupwhenIsawhimfollowingmealongtheCalleRealintheshopwindowthenhetippedmejustinpassingbutIneverthoughthedwritemakinganappointmentIhaditinsidemypetticoatbodicealldayreadingitupineveryholeandcornerwhilefatherwasupatthedrillinstructingtofindoutbythehandwritingorthelanguageofstampssingingIremembershallIwearawhiteroseandIwantedtoputontheoldstupidclocktonearthetimehewasthefirstmankissedmeundertheMoorishwallmysweetheartwhenaboyitneverenteredmyheadwhatkissingmeanttillheputhistongueinmymouthhismouthwassweetlikeyoungIputmykneeuptohimafewtimestolearnthewaywhatdidItellhimIwasengagedforforfuntothesonofaSpanishnoblemannamedDonMigueldelaFloraandhebelievedmethatIwastobemarriedtohimin3yearstimetheresmanyatruewordspokeninjestthereisaflowerthatbloomethafewthingsItoldhimtrueaboutmyselfjustforhimtobeimaginingtheSpanishgirlshedidntlikeIsupposeoneofthemwouldnthavehimIgothimexcitedhecrushedalltheflowersonmybosomhebroughtmehecouldntcountthepesetasandtheperragordastillItaughthimCappoquinhecamefromhesaidontheblackwaterbutitwastooshortthenthedaybeforeheleftMayyesitwasMaywhentheinfantkingofSpainwasbornImalwayslikethatinthespringIdlikeanewfelloweveryyearuponthetiptopundertherockgunnearOHarastowerItoldhimitwasstruckbylightningandallabouttheoldBarbaryapestheysenttoClaphamwithoutatailcareeringallovertheshowoneachothersbackMrsRubiosaidshewasaregularoldrockscorpionrobbingthechickensoutofIncesfarmandthrowstonesatyouifyouwentanearhewaslookingatmeIhadthatwhiteblouseonopeninthefronttoencouragehimasmuchasIcouldwithouttooopenlytheywerejustbeginningtobeplumpIsaidIwastiredwelayoverthefirtreecoveawildplaceIsupposeitmustbethehighestrockinexistencethegalleriesandcasematesandthosefrightfulrocksandSaintMichaelscavewiththeiciclesorwhatevertheycallthemhangingdownandladdersallthemudplotchingmybootsImsurethatsthewaydownthemonkeysgoundertheseatoAfricawhentheydietheshipsoutfarlikechipsthatwastheMaltaboatpassingyestheseaandtheskyyoucoulddowhatyoulikedliethereforeverhecaressedthemoutsidetheylovedoingthatitstheroundnessthereIwasleaningoverhimwithmywhitericestrawhattotakethenewnessoutofittheleftsideofmyfacethebestmyblouseopenforhislastdaytransparentkindofshirthehadIcouldseehischestpinkhewantedtotouchminewithhisforamomentbutIwouldntleehimhewasawfullyputoutfirstforfearyouneverknowconsumptionorleavemewithachildembarazadathatoldservantInestoldmethatonedropevenifitgotintoyouatallafterItriedwiththeBananabutIwasafraiditmightbreakandgetlostupinmesomewherebecausetheyoncetooksomethingdownoutofawomanthatwasupthereforyearscoveredwithlimesaltstheyreallmadtogetintherewheretheycomeoutofyoudthinktheycouldnevergofarenoughupandthentheyredonewithyouinawaytillthenexttimeyesbecausetheresawonderfulfeelingtheresotenderallthetimehowdidwefinishitoffyesOyesIpulledhimoffintomyhandkerchiefpretendingnottobeexcitedbutIopenedmylegsIwouldntlethimtouchmeinsidemypetticoatbecauseIhadaskirtopeningupthesideItormentedthelifeoutofhimfirstticklinghimIlovedrousingthatdoginthehotelrrrssssttawokwokawokhiseyesshutandabirdflyingbelowushewasshyallthesameIlikedhimlikethatmoaningImadehimblushalittlewhenIgotoverhimthatwaywhenIunbuttonedhimandtookhisoutanddrewbacktheskinithadakindofeyeinittheyreallButtonsmendownthemiddleonthewrongsideofthemMollydarlinghecalledmewhatwashisnameJackJoeHarryMulveywasityesIthinkalieutenanthewasratherfairhehadalaughingkindofavoicesoIwentroundtothewhatyoucalliteverythingwaswhatyoucallitmoustachehadhehesaidhedcomebackLorditsjustlikeyesterdaytomeandifIwasmarriedheddoittomeandIpromisedhimyesfaithfullyIdlethimblockmenowflyingperhapshesdeadorkilledoracaptainoradmiralitsnearly20yearsifIsaidfirtreecovehewouldifhecameupbehindmeandputhishandsovermyeyestoguesswhoImightrecognisehimhesyoungstillabout40perhapshesmarriedsomegirlontheblackwaterandisquitechangedtheyalldotheyhaventhalfthecharacterawomanhasshelittleknowswhatIdidwithherbelovedhusbandbeforeheeverdreamtofherinbroaddaylighttoointhesightofthewholeworldyoumightsaytheycouldhaveputanarticleaboutitintheChronicleIwasabitwildafterwhenIblewouttheoldbagthebiscuitswereinfromBenadyBrosandexplodeditLordwhatabangallthewoodcocksandpigeonsscreamingcomingbackthesamewaythatwewentovermiddlehillroundbytheoldguardhouseandthejewsburialplacepretendingtoreadouttheHebrewonthemIwantedtofirehispistolhesaidhehadntonehedidntknowwhattomakeofmewithhispeakcaponthathealwaysworecrookedasoftenasIsettleditstraightHMSCalypsoswingingmyhatthatoldBishopthatspokeoffthealtarhislongpreachaboutwomanshigherfunctionsaboutgirlsnowridingthebicycleandwearingpeakcapsandthenewwomanbloomersGodsendhimsenseandmemoremoneyIsupposetheyrecalledafterhimIneverthoughtthatwouldbemynameBloomwhenIusedtowriteitinprinttoseehowitlookedonavisitingcardorpractisingforthebutcherandobligeMBloomyourelookingbloomingJosieusedtosayafterImarriedhimwellitsbetterthanBreenorBriggsdoesbrigorthoseawfulnameswithbottominthemMrsRamsbottomorsomeotherkindofabottomMulveyIwouldntgomadabouteitherorsupposeIdivorcedhimMrsBoylanmymotherwhoevershewasmighthavegivenmeanicernametheLordknowsafterthelovelyoneshehadLunitaLaredothefunwehadrunningalongWillissroadtoEuropapointtwistinginandoutallroundtheothersideofJerseytheywereshakinganddancingaboutinmyblouselikeMillyslittleonesnowwhensherunsupthestairsIlovedlookingdownatthemIwasjumpingupatthepeppertreesandthewhitepoplarspullingtheleavesoffandthrowingthemathimhewenttoIndiahewastowritethevoyagesthosemenhavetomaketotheendsoftheworldandbackitstheleasttheymightgetasqueezeortwoatawomanwhiletheycangoingouttobedrownedorblownupsomewhereIwentupWindmillhilltotheflatsthatSundaymorningwithcaptainRubiosthatwasdeadspyglasslikethesentryhadhesaidhedhaveoneortwofromonboardIworethatfrockfromtheBMarcheparisandthecoralnecklacethestraitsshiningIcouldseeovertoMoroccoalmostthebayofTangierwhiteandtheAtlasmountainwithsnowonitandthestraitslikeariversoclearHarryMollydarlingIwasthinkingofhimontheseaallthetimeafteratmasswhenmypetticoatbegantoslipdownattheelevationweeksandweeksIkeptthehandkerchiefundermypillowforthesmellofhimtherewasnodecentperfumetobegotinthatGibraltaronlythatcheappeaudEspagnethatfadedandleftastinkonyoumorethananythingelseIwantedtogivehimamementohegavemethatclumsyCladdaghringforluckthatIgaveGardnergoingtosouthAfricawherethoseBoerskilledhimwiththeirwarandfeverbuttheywerewellbeatenallthesameasifitbroughtitsbadluckwithitlikeanopalorpearlstillitmusthavebeenpure18carrotgoldbecauseitwasveryheavybutwhatcouldyougetinaplacelikethatthesandfrogshowerfromAfricaandthatderelictshipthatcameuptotheharbourMarietheMariewhatyoucallitnohehadntamoustachethatwasGardneryesIcanseehisfacecleanshavenFrseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrongthattrainagainweepingtoneonceinthedeardeaeaddaysbeyondrecallclosemyeyesbreathmylipsforwardkisssadlookeyesopenpianoereoertheworldthemistsbeganIhatethatistsbegcomeslovessweetsooooooooooongIllletthatoutfullwhenIgetinfrontofthefootlightsagainKathleenKearneyandherlotofsquealersMissThisMissThatMissTheotherlotofsparrowfartsskittingaroundtalkingaboutpoliticstheyknowasmuchaboutasmybacksideanythingintheworldtomakethemselvessomewayinterestingIrishhomemadebeautiessoldiersdaughteramIayandwhoseareyoubootmakersandpublicansIbegyourpardoncoachIthoughtyouwereawheelbarrowtheyddiedowndeadofftheirfeetifevertheygotachanceofwalkingdowntheAlamedaonanofficersarmlikemeonthebandnightmyeyesflashmybustthattheyhaventpassionGodhelptheirpoorheadIknewmoreaboutmenandlifewhenIwasISthantheyllallknowat50theydontknowhowtosingasonglikethatGardnersaidnomancouldlookatmymouthandteethsmilinglikethatandnotthinkofitIwasafraidhemightntlikemyaccentfirsthesoEnglishallfatherleftmeinspiteofhisstampsIvemymotherseyesandfigureanyhowhealwayssaidtheyresosnottyaboutthemselvessomeofthosecadshewasntabitlikethathewasdeadgoneonmylipsletthemgetahusbandfirstthatsfittobelookedatandadaughterlikemineorseeiftheycanexciteaswellwithmoneythatcanpickandchoosewhoeverhewantslikeBoylantodoit4or5timeslockedineachothersarmsorthevoiceeitherIcouldhavebeenaprimadonnaonlyImarriedhimcomesloooovesolddeepdownchinbacknottoomuchmakeitdoubleMyLadysBoweristoolongforanencoreaboutthemoatedgrangeattwilightandvauntedroomsyesIllsingWindsthatblowfromthesouththathegaveafterthechoirstairsperformanceIllchangethatlaceonmyblackdresstoshowoffmybubsandIllyesbyGodIllgetthatbigfanmendedmakethemburstwithenvymyholeisitchingmealwayswhenIthinkofhimIfeelIwanttoIfeelsomewindinmebettergoeasynotwakehimhavehimatitagainslobberingafterwashingeverybitofmyselfbackbellyandsidesifwehadevenabathitselformyownroomanywayIwishhedsleepinsomebedbyhimselfwithhiscoldfeetonmegiveusroomeventoletafartGodordotheleastthingbetteryesholdthemlikethatabitonmysidepianoquietlysweeeeetheresthattrainfarawaypianissimoeeeeeonemoresongthatwasareliefwhereveryoubeletyourwindgofreewhoknowsifthatporkchopItookwithmycupofteaafterwasquitegoodwiththeheatIcouldntsmellanythingoffitImsurethatqueerlookingmanintheporkbutchersisagreatrogueIhopethatlampisnotsmokingfillmynoseupwithsmutsbetterthanhavinghimleavingthegasonallnightIcouldntresteasyinmybedinGibraltarevengettinguptoseewhyamIsodamnednervousaboutthatthoughIlikeitinthewinteritsmorecompanyOLorditwasrottencoldtoothatwinterwhenIwasonlyabouttenwasIyesIhadthebigdollwithallthefunnyclothesdressingherupandundressingthaticywindskeetingacrossfromthosemountainsthesomethingNevadasierranevadastandingatthefirewiththelittlebitofashortshiftIhaduptoheatmyselfIloveddancingaboutinitthenmakearacebackintobedImsurethatfellowoppositeusedtobetherethewholetimewatchingwiththelightsoutinthesummerandIinmyskinhoppingaroundIusedtolovemyselfthenstrippedatthewashstanddabbingandcreamingonlywhenitcametothechamberperformanceIputoutthelighttoosothentherewere2ofusgoodbyetomysleepforthisnightanyhowIhopehesnotgoingtogetinwiththosemedicalsleadinghimastraytoimaginehesyoungagaincominginat4inthemorningitmustbeifnotmorestillhehadthemannersnottowakemewhatdotheyfindtogabberaboutallnightsquanderingmoneyandgettingdrunkeranddrunkercouldnttheydrinkwaterthenhestartsgivingushisordersforeggsandteaandFindonhaddyandhotbutteredtoastIsupposewellhavehimsittinguplikethekingofthecountrypumpingthewrongendofthespoonupanddowninhiseggwhereverhelearnedthatfromandIlovetohearhimfallingupthestairsofamorningwiththecupsrattlingonthetrayandthenplaywiththecatsherubsupagainstyouforherownsakeIwonderhasshefleasshesasbadasawomanalwayslickingandleckingbutIhatetheirclawsIwonderdotheyseeanythingthatwecantstaringlikethatwhenshesitsatthetopofthestairssolongandlisteningasIwaitalwayswhatarobbertoothatlovelyfreshplaceIboughtIthinkIllgetabitoffishtomorrowortodayisitFridayyesIwillwithsomeblancmangewithblackcurrantjamlikelongagonotthose2lbpotsofmixedplumandapplefromtheLondonandNewcastleWilliamsandWoodsgoestwiceasfaronlyforthebonesIhatethoseeelscodyesIllgetanicepieceofcodImalwaysgettingenoughfor3forgettinganywayImsickofthateverlastingbutchersmeatfromBuckleysloinchopsandlegbeefandribsteakandscragofmuttonandcalfsplucktheverynameisenoughorapicnicsupposeweallgaveeachandorlethimpayitandinvitesomeotherwomanforhimwhoMrsFleminganddroveouttothefurryglenorthestrawberrybedswedhavehimexaminingallthehorsestoenailsfirstlikehedoeswiththelettersnonotwithBoylanthereyeswithsomecoldvealandhammixedsandwichestherearelittlehousesdownatthebottomofthebanksthereonpurposebutitsashotasblazeshesaysnotabankholidayanyhowIhatethoseruckofMaryAnncoalboxesoutforthedayWhitMondayisacurseddaytoonowonderthatbeebithimbettertheseasidebutIdneveragaininthislifegetintoaboatwithhimafterhimatBraytellingtheboatmanheknewhowtorowifanyoneaskedcouldheridethesteeplechaseforthegoldcuphedsayyesthenitcameontogetroughtheoldthingcrookedingaboutandtheweightalldownmysidetellingmepulltherightreinsnowpulltheleftandthetideallswampinginfloodsinthroughthebottomandhisoarslippingoutofthestirrupitsamercywewerentalldrownedhecanswimofcoursemenotheresnodangerwhatsoeverkeepyourselfcalminhisflanneltrousersIdliketohavetatteredthemdownoffhimbeforeallthepeopleandgivehimwhatthatonecallsflagellatetillhewasblackandbluedohimallthegoodintheworldonlyforthatlongnosedchapIdontknowwhoheiswiththatotherbeautyBurkeoutoftheCityArmshotelwastherespyingaroundasusualontheslipalwayswherehewasntwantediftherewasarowonyoudvomitabetterfacetherewasnolovelostbetweenusthats1consolationIwonderwhatkindisthatbookhebroughtmeSweetsofSinbyagentlemanoffashionsomeotherMrdeKockIsupposethepeoplegavehimthatnicknamegoingaboutwithhistubefromonewomantoanotherIcouldntevenchangemynewwhiteshoesallruinedwiththesaltwaterandthehatIhadwiththatfeatherallblowyandtossedonmehowannoyingandprovokingbecausethesmelloftheseaexcitedmeofcoursethesardinesandthebreaminCatalanbayroundthebackoftherocktheywerefineallsilverinthefishermensbasketsoldLuiginearahundredtheysaidcamefromGenoaandthetalloldchapwiththeearringsIdontlikeamanyouhavetoclimbuptotogetatIsupposetheyrealldeadandrottenlongagobesidesIdontlikebeingaloneinthisbigbarracksofaplaceatnightIsupposeIllhavetoputupwithitIneverbroughtabitofsaltinevenwhenwemovedintheconfusionmusicalacademyhewasgoingtomakeonthefirstfloordrawingroomwithabrassplateorBloomsprivatehotelhesuggestedgoandruinhimselfaltogetherthewayhisfatherdiddowninEnnislikeallthethingshetoldfatherhewasgoingtodoandmebutIsawthroughhimtellingmeallthelovelyplaceswecouldgoforthehoneymoonVenicebymoonlightwiththegondolasandthelakeofComohehadapicturecutoutofsomepaperofandmandolinesandlanternsOhowniceIsaidwhateverIlikedhewasgoingtodoimmediatelyifnotsoonerwillyoubemymanwillyoucarrymycanheoughttogetaleathermedalwithaputtyrimforalltheplansheinventsthenleavingusherealldayyoudneverknowwhatoldbeggaratthedoorforacrustwithhislongstorymightbeatrampandputhisfootinthewaytopreventmeshuttingitlikethatpictureofthathardenedcriminalhewascalledinLloydsWeeklynews20yearsinjailthenhecomesoutandmurdersanoldwomanforhermoneyimaginehispoorwifeormotherorwhoeversheissuchafaceyoudrunmilesawayfromIcouldntresteasytillIboltedallthedoorsandwindowstomakesurebutitsworseagainbeinglockeduplikeinaprisonoramadhousetheyoughttobeallshotorthecatofninetailsabigbrutelikethatthatwouldattackapooroldwomantomurderherinherbedIdcutthemoffhimsoIwouldnotthathedbemuchusestillbetterthannothingthenightIwassureIheardburglarsinthekitchenandhewentdowninhisshirtwithacandleandapokerasifhewaslookingforamouseaswhiteasasheetfrightenedoutofhiswitsmakingasmuchnoiseashepossiblycouldfortheburglarsbenefitthereisntmuchtostealindeedtheLordknowsstillitsthefeelingespeciallynowwithMillyawaysuchanideaforhimtosendthegirldowntheretolearntotakephotographsonaccountofhisgrandfatherinsteadofsendinghertoSkerrysacademywhereshedhavetolearnnotlikemegettingallISatschoolonlyheddoathinglikethatallthesameonaccountofmeandBoylanthatswhyhediditImcertainthewayheplotsandplanseverythingoutIcouldntturnroundwithherintheplacelatelyunlessIboltedthedoorfirstgavemethefidgetscominginwithoutknockingfirstwhenIputthechairagainstthedoorjustasIwaswashingmyselftherebelowwiththeglovegetonyournervesthendoingthelogladyalldayputherinaglasscasewithtwoatatimetolookatherifheknewshebrokeoffthehandoffthatlittlegimcrackstatuewithherroughnessandcarelessnessbeforesheleftthatIgotthatlittleItalianboytomendsothatyoucantseethejoinfor2shillingswouldnteventeemthepotatoesforyouofcourseshesrightnottoruinherhandsInoticedhewasalwaystalkingtoherlatelyatthetableexplainingthingsinthepaperandshepretendingtounderstandslyofcoursethatcomesfromhissideofthehousehecantsayIpretendthingscanheImtoohonestasamatteroffactandhelpingherintohercoatbutiftherewasanythingwrongwithheritsmeshedtellnothimIsupposehethinksImfinishedoutandlaidontheshelfwellImnotnonoranythinglikeitwellseewellseenowsheswellonforflirtingtoowithTomDevanstwosonsimitatingmewhistlingwiththoserompsofMurraygirlscallingforhercanMillycomeoutpleaseshesingreatdemandtopickwhattheycanoutofherroundinNelsonstreetridingHarryDevansbicycleatnightitsaswellhesentherwheresheisshewasjustgettingoutofboundswantingtogoontheskatingrinkandsmokingtheircigarettesthroughtheirnoseIsmeltitoffherdresswhenIwasbitingoffthethreadofthebuttonIsewedontothebottomofherjacketshecouldnthidemuchfrommeItellyouonlyIoughtnttohavestitcheditanditonheritbringsapartingandthelastplumpuddingtoosplitin2halvesseeitcomesoutnomatterwhattheysayhertongueisabittoolongformytasteyourblouseisopentoolowshesaystomethepancallingthekettleblackbottomandIhadtotellhernottocockherlegsuplikethatonshowonthewindowsillbeforeallthepeoplepassingtheyalllookatherlikemewhenIwasherageofcourseanyoldraglookswellonyouthenagreattouchmenottooinherownwayattheOnlyWayintheTheatreroyaltakeyourfootawayoutofthatIhatepeopletouchingmeafraidofherlifeIdcrushherskirtwiththepleatsalotofthattouchingmustgoonintheatresinthecrushinthedarktheyrealwaystryingtowiggleuptoyouthatfellowinthepitattheGaietyforBeerbohmTreeinTrilbythelasttimeIllevergotheretobesquashedlikethatforanyTrilbyorherbarebumeverytwominutestippingmethereandlookingawayhesabitdaftIthinkIsawhimaftertryingtogetneartwostylishdressedladiesoutsideSwitzerswindowatthesamelittlegameIrecognisedhimonthemomentthefaceandeverythingbuthedidntremembermeyesandshedidntevenwantmetokissherattheBroadstonegoingawaywellIhopeshellgetsomeonetodanceattendanceonherthewayIdidwhenshewasdownwiththemumpsandherglandsswollenwheresthisandwheresthatofcourseshecantfeelanythingdeepyetInevercameproperlytillIwaswhat22orsoitwentintothewrongplacealwaysonlytheusualgirlsnonsenseandgigglingthatConnyConnollywritingtoherinwhiteinkonblackpapersealedwithsealingwaxthoughsheclappedwhenthecurtaincamedownbecausehelookedsohandsomethenwehadMartinHarveyforbreakfastdinnerandsupperIthoughttomyselfafterwardsitmustberealloveifamangivesuphislifeforherthatwayfornothingIsupposethereareafewmenlikethatleftitshardtobelieveinitthoughunlessitreallyhappenedtomethemajorityofthemwithnotaparticleofloveintheirnaturestofindtwopeoplelikethatnowadaysfullupofeachotherthatwouldfeelthesamewayasyoudotheyreusuallyabitfoolishintheheadhisfathermusthavebeenabitqueertogoandpoisonhimselfafterherstillpooroldmanIsupposehefeltlostshesalwaysmakinglovetomythingstoothefewoldragsIhavewantingtoputherhairupatISmypowdertooonlyruinherskinonhershestimeenoughforthatallherlifeafterofcourseshesrestlessknowingshesprettywithherlipssoredapitytheywontstaythatwayIwastoobuttheresnousegoingtothefairwiththethingansweringmelikeafishwomanwhenIaskedtogoforahalfastoneofpotatoesthedaywemetMrsJoeGallaheratthetrottingmatchesandshepretendednottoseeusinhertrapwithFrierythesolicitorwewerentgrandenoughtillIgaveher2damnfinecracksacrosstheearforherselftakethatnowforansweringmelikethatandthatforyourimpudenceshehadmethatexasperatedofcoursecontradictingIwasbadtemperedtoobecausehowwasittherewasaweedintheteaorIdidntsleepthenightbeforecheeseIatewasitandItoldheroverandoveragainnottoleaveknivescrossedlikethatbecauseshehasnobodytocommandherasshesaidherselfwellifhedoesntcorrectherfaithIwillthatwasthelasttimesheturnedontheteartapIwasjustlikethatmyselftheydarentordermeabouttheplaceitshisfaultofcoursehavingthetwoofusslavinghereinsteadofgettinginawomanlongagoamIevergoingtohaveaproperservantagainofcoursethenshedseehimcomingIdhavetoletherknoworshedrevengeitarenttheyanuisancethatoldMrsFlemingyouhavetobewalkingroundafterherputtingthethingsintoherhandssneezingandfartingintothepotswellofcourseshesoldshecanthelpitagoodjobIfoundthatrottenoldsmellydishcloththatgotlostbehindthedresserIknewtherewassomethingandopenedtheareawindowtoletoutthesmellbringinginhisfriendstoentertainthemlikethenighthewalkedhomewithadogifyoupleasethatmighthavebeenmadespeciallySimonDedalussonhisfathersuchacriticiserwithhisglassesupwithhistallhatonhimatthecricketmatchandagreatbigholeinhissockonethinglaughingattheotherandhissonthatgotallthoseprizesforwhateverhewonthemintheintermediateimagineclimbingovertherailingsifanybodysawhimthatknewusIwonderhedidnttearabigholeinhisgrandfuneraltrousersasiftheonenaturegavewasntenoughforanybodyhawkinghimdownintothedirtyoldkitchennowisherightinhisheadIaskpityitwasntwashingdaymyoldpairofdrawersmighthavebeenhanginguptooonthelineonexhibitionforallhedevercarewiththeironmouldmarkthestupidoldbundleburnedonthemhemightthinkwassomethingelseandsheneverevenrendereddownthefatItoldherandnowshesgoingsuchasshewasonaccountofherparalysedhusbandgettingworsetheresalwayssomethingwrongwiththemdiseaseortheyhavetogounderanoperationorifitsnotthatitsdrinkandhebeatsherIllhavetohuntaroundagainforsomeoneeverydayIgetuptheressomenewthingonsweetGodsweetGodwellwhenImstretchedoutdeadinmygraveIsuppose111havesomepeaceIwanttogetupaminuteifImletwaitOJesuswaityesthatthinghascomeonmeyesnowwouldntthatafflictyouofcourseallthepokingandrootingandploughinghehadupinmenowwhatamItodoFridaySaturdaySundaywouldntthatpesterthesouloutofabodyunlesshelikesitsomemendoGodknowstheresalwayssomethingwrongwithus5daysevery3or4weeksusualmonthlyauctionisntitsimplysickeningthatnightitcameonmelikethattheoneandonlytimewewereinaboxthatMichaelGunngavehimtoseeMrsKendalandherhusbandattheGaietysomethinghedidaboutinsuranceforhiminDrimmiesIwasfittobetiedthoughIwouldntgiveinwiththatgentlemanoffashionstaringdownatmewithhisglassesandhimtheothersideofmetalkingaboutSpinozaandhissoulthatsdeadIsupposemillionsofyearsagoIsmiledthebestIcouldallinaswampleaningforwardasifIwasinterestedhavingtosititoutthentothelasttagIwontforgetthatwifeofScarliinahurrysupposedtobeafastplayaboutadulterythatidiotinthegalleryhissingthewomanadulteressheshoutedIsupposehewentandhadawomaninthenextlanerunningroundallthebackwaysaftertomakeupforitIwishhehadwhatIhadthenhedbooIbetthecatitselfisbetteroffthanushavewetoomuchbloodupinusorwhatOpatienceaboveitspouringoutofmeliketheseaanyhowhedidntmakemepregnantasbigasheisIdontwanttoruinthecleansheetsIjustputonIsupposethecleanlinenIworebroughtitontoodamnitdamnitandtheyalwayswanttoseeastainonthebedtoknowyoureavirginforthemallthatstroublingthemtheyresuchfoolstooyoucouldbeawidowordivorced40timesoveradaubofredinkwoulddoorblackberryjuicenothatstoopurplyOJamesyletmeupoutofthispoohsweetsofsinwhoeversuggestedthatbusinessforwomenwhatbetweenclothesandcookingandchildrenthisdamnedoldbedtoojinglinglikethedickensIsupposetheycouldhearusawayovertheothersideoftheparktillIsuggestedtoputthequiltonthefloorwiththepillowundermybottomIwonderisitnicerinthedayIthinkitiseasyIthinkIllcutallthishairoffmetherescaldingmeImightlooklikeayounggirlwouldnthegetthegreatsuckinthenexttimeheturnedupmyclothesonmeIdgiveanythingtoseehisfacewheresthechambergoneeasyIveaholyhorrorofitsbreakingundermeafterthatoldcommodeIwonderwasItooheavysittingonhiskneeImadehimsitontheeasychairpurposelywhenItookoffonlymyblouseandskirtfirstintheotherroomhewassobusywhereheoughtnttobeheneverfeltmeIhopemybreathwassweetafterthosekissingcomfitseasyGodIrememberonetimeIcouldscoutitoutstraightwhistlinglikeamanalmosteasyOLordhownoisyIhopetheyrebubblesonitforawadofmoneyfromsomefellow111havetoperfumeitinthemorningdontforgetIbetheneversawabetterpairofthighsthanthatlookhowwhitetheyarethesmoothestplaceisrighttherebetweenthisbitherehowsoftlikeapeacheasyGodIwouldntmindbeingamanandgetuponalovelywomanOLordwhatarowyouremakinglikethejerseylilyeasyeasyOhowthewaterscomedownatLahorewhoknowsisthereanythingthematterwithmyinsidesorhaveIsomethinggrowinginmegettingthatthinglikethateveryweekwhenwasitlastIWhitMondayyesitsonlyabout3weeksIoughttogotothedoctoronlyitwouldbelikebeforeImarriedhimwhenIhadthatwhitethingcomingfrommeandFloeymademegotothatdryoldstickDrCollinsforwomensdiseasesonPembrokeroadyourvaginahecalleditIsupposethatshowhegotallthegiltmirrorsandcarpetsgettingroundthoserichonesoffStephensgreenrunninguptohimforeverylittlefiddlefaddlehervaginaandhercochinchinatheyvemoneyofcoursesotheyreallrightIwouldntmarryhimnotifhewasthelastmanintheworldbesidestheressomethingqueerabouttheirchildrenalwayssmellingaroundthosefilthybitchesallsidesaskingmeifwhatIdidhadanoffensiveodourwhatdidhewantmetodobuttheonethinggoldmaybewhataquestionifIsmathereditalloverhiswrinklyoldfaceforhimwithallmycomprimentsIsupposehedknowthenandcouldyoupassiteasilypasswhatIthoughthewastalkingabouttherockofGibraltarthewayheputitthatsaveryniceinventiontoobythewayonlyIlikelettingmyselfdownafterintheholeasfarasIcansqueezeandpullthechainthentoflushitnicecoolpinsandneedlesstilltheressomethinginitIsupposeIalwaysusedtoknowbyMillyswhenshewasachildwhethershehadwormsornotstillallthesamepayinghimforthathowmuchisthatdoctoroneguineapleaseandaskingmehadIfrequentomissionswheredothoseoldfellowsgetallthewordstheyhaveomissionswithhisshortsightedeyesonmecockedsidewaysIwouldnttrusthimtoofartogivemechloroformorGodknowswhatelsestillIlikedhimwhenhesatdowntowritethethingoutfrowningsoseverehisnoseintelligentlikethatyoubedamnedyoulyingstrapOanythingnomatterwhoexceptanidiothewascleverenoughtospotthatofcoursethatwasallthinkingofhimandhismadcrazylettersmyPreciousoneeverythingconnectedwithyourgloriousBodyeverythingunderlinedthatcomesfromitisathingofbeautyandofjoyforeversomethinghegotoutofsomenonsensicalbookthathehadmealwaysatmyself4and5timesadaysometimesandIsaidIhadntareyousureOyesIsaidIamquitesureinawaythatshuthimupIknewwhatwascomingnextonlynaturalweaknessitwasheexcitedmeIdontknowhowthefirstnighteverwemetwhenIwaslivinginRehobothterracewestoodstaringatoneanotherforaboutlominutesasifwemetsomewhereIsupposeonaccountofmybeingjewesslookingaftermymotherheusedtoamusemethethingshesaidwiththehalfslootheringsmileonhimandalltheDoylessaidhewasgoingtostandforamemberofParliamentOwasntIthebornfooltobelieveallhisblatherabouthomeruleandthelandleaguesendingmethatlongstroolofasongoutoftheHuguenotstosinginFrenchtobemoreclassyObeaupaysdelaTourainethatIneverevensangonceexplainingandrigmarolingaboutreligionandpersecutionhewontletyouenjoyanythingnaturallythenmightheasagreatfavourthevery1stopportunityhegotachanceinBrightonsquarerunningintomybedroompretendingtheinkgotonhishandstowashitoffwiththeAlbionmilkandsulphursoapIusedtouseandthegelatinestillrounditOIlaughedmyselfsickathimthatdayIbetternotmakeanalnightsittingonthisaffairtheyoughttomakechambersanaturalsizesothatawomancouldsitonitproperlyhekneelsdowntodoitIsupposethereisntinallcreationanothermanwiththehabitshehaslookatthewayhessleepingatthefootofthebedhowcanhewithoutahardbolsteritswellhedoesntkickorhemightknockoutallmyteethbreathingwithhishandonhisnoselikethatIndiangodhetookmetoshowonewetSundayinthemuseuminKildarestreetallyellowinapinaforelyingonhissideonhishandwithhistentoesstickingoutthathesaidwasabiggerreligionthanthejewsandOurLordsbothputtogetheralloverAsiaimitatinghimashesalwaysimitatingeverybodyIsupposeheusedtosleepatthefootofthebedtoowithhisbigsquarefeetupinhiswifesmouthdamnthisstinkingthinganywaywheresthisthosenapkinsareahyesIknowIhopetheoldpressdoesntcreakahIknewitwouldhessleepinghardhadagoodtimesomewherestillshemusthavegivenhimgreatvalueforhismoneyofcoursehehastopayforitfromherOthisnuisanceofathingIhopetheyllhavesomethingbetterforusintheotherworldtyingourselvesupGodhelpusthatsallrightfortonightnowthelumpyoldjinglybedalwaysremindsmeofoldCohenIsupposehescratchedhimselfinitoftenenoughandhethinksfatherboughtitfromLordNapierthatIusedtoadmirewhenIwasalittlegirlbecauseItoldhimeasypianoOIlikemybedGodhereweareasbadaseverafter16yearshowmanyhouseswereweinatallRaymondterraceandOntarioterraceandLombardstreetandHollesstreetandhegoesaboutwhistlingeverytimewereontherunagainhishuguenotsorthefrogsmarchpretendingtohelpthemenwithour4sticksoffurnitureandthentheCityArmshotelworseandworsesaysWardenDalythatcharmingplaceonthelandingalwayssomebodyinsideprayingthenleavingalltheirstinksafterthemalwaysknowwhowasintherelasteverytimewerejustgettingonrightsomethinghappensorheputshisbigfootinitThomsandHelysandMrCuffesandDrimmieseitherhesgoingtoberunintoprisonoverhisoldlotteryticketsthatwastobealloursalvationsorhegoesandgivesimpudencewellhavehimcominghomewiththesacksoonoutoftheFreemantooliketherestonaccountofthoseSinnerFeinorthefreemasonsthenwellseeifthelittlemanheshowedmedribblingalonginthewetallbyhimselfroundbyCoadyslanewillgivehimmuchconsolationthathesaysissocapableandsincerelyIrishheisindeedjudgingbythesincerityofthetrousersIsawonhimwaittheresGeorgeschurchbellswait3quartersthehourlwait2oclockwellthatsanicehourofthenightforhimtobecominghomeattoanybodyclimbingdownintotheareaifanybodysawhimIllknockhimoffthatlittlehabittomorrowfirstIlllookathisshirttoseeorIllseeifhehasthatFrenchletterstillinhispocketbookIsupposehethinksIdontknowdeceitfulmenalltheir20pocketsarentenoughfortheirliesthenwhyshouldwetellthemevenifitsthetruththeydontbelieveyouthentuckedupinbedlikethosebabiesintheAristocratsMasterpiecehebroughtmeanothertimeasifwehadntenoughofthatinreallifewithoutsomeoldAristocratorwhateverhisnameisdisgustingyoumorewiththoserottenpictureschildrenwithtwoheadsandnolegsthatsthekindofvillainytheyrealwaysdreamingaboutwithnotanotherthingintheiremptyheadstheyoughttogetslowpoisonthehalfofthemthenteaandtoastforhimbutteredonbothsidesandnewlaideggsIsupposeImnothinganymorewhenIwouldntlethimlickmeinHollesstreetonenightmanmantyrantaseverfortheonethinghesleptonthefloorhalfthenightnakedthewaythejewsusedwhensomebodydiesbelongedtothemandwouldnteatanybreakfastorspeakawordwantingtobepettedsoIthoughtIstoodoutenoughforonetimeandlethimhedoesitallwrongtoothinkingonlyofhisownpleasurehistongueistooflatorIdontknowwhatheforgetsthatwethenIdontIllmakehimdoitagainifhedoesntmindhimselfandlockhimdowntosleepinthecoalcellarwiththeblackbeetlesIwonderwasitherJosieoffherheadwithmycastoffshessuchabornliartoonohedneverhavethecouragewithamarriedwomanthatswhyhewantsmeandBoylanthoughasforherDenisasshecallshimthatforlornlookingspectacleyoucouldntcallhimahusbandyesitssomelittlebitchhesgotinwithevenwhenIwaswithhimwithMillyattheCollegeracesthatHornblowerwiththechildsbonnetonthetopofhisnobletusintobythebackwayhewasthrowinghissheepseyesatthosetwodoingskirtdutyupanddownItriedtowinkathimfirstnouseofcourseandthatsthewayhismoneygoesthisisthefruitsofMrPaddyDignamyestheywereallingreatstyleatthegrandfuneralinthepaperBoylanbroughtiniftheysawarealofficersfuneralthatdbesomethingreversedarmsmuffleddrumsthepoorhorsewalkingbehindinblackLBoomandTomKernanthatdrunkenlittlebarrellymanthatbithistongueofffallingdownthemensWCdrunkinsomeplaceorotherandMartinCunninghamandthetwoDedalusesandFannyMCoyshusbandwhiteheadofcabbageskinnythingwithaturninhereyetryingtosingmysongsshedwanttobebornalloveragainandheroldgreendresswiththelowneckasshecantattractthemanyotherwaylikedabblingonarainydayIseeitallnowplainlyandtheycallthatfriendshipkillingandthenburyingoneanotherandtheyallwiththeirwivesandfamiliesathomemoreespeciallyJackPowerkeepingthatbarmaidhedoesofcoursehiswifeisalwayssickorgoingtobesickorjustgettingbetterofitandhesagoodlookingmanstillthoughhesgettingabitgreyovertheearstheyreanicelotallofthemwelltheyrenotgoingtogetmyhusbandagainintotheirclutchesifIcanhelpitmakingfunofhimthenbehindhisbackIknowwellwhenhegoesonwithhisidioticsbecausehehassenseenoughnottosquandereverypennypieceheearnsdowntheirgulletsandlooksafterhiswifeandfamilygoodfornothingspoorPaddyDignamallthesameImsorryinawayforhimwhatarehiswifeand5childrengoingtodounlesshewasinsuredcomicallittleteetotumalwaysstuckupinsomepubcornerandherorhersonwaitingBillBaileywontyoupleasecomehomeherwidowsweedswontimproveherappearancetheyreawfullybecomingthoughifyouregoodlookingwhatmenwasntheyeshewasattheGlencreedinnerandBenDollardbasebarreltonethenightheborrowedtheswallowtailtosingoutofinHollesstreetsqueezedandsquashedintothemandgrinningalloverhisbigDollyfacelikeawellwhippedchildsbottydidnthelookabalmyballockssureenoughthatmusthavebeenaspectacleonthestageimaginepaying5inthepreservedseatsforthattoseehimtrottingoffinhistrowlersandSimonDedalustoohewasalwaysturninguphalfscrewedsingingthesecondversefirsttheoldloveisthenewwasoneofhissosweetlysangthemaidenonthehawthornboughhewasalwaysonforflirtyfyingtoowhenIsangMaritanawithhimatFreddyMayersprivateoperahehadadeliciousgloriousvoicePhoebedearestgoodbyesweetheartsweethearthealwayssangitnotlikeBartellDarcysweettartgoodbyeofcoursehehadthegiftofthevoicesotherewasnoartinitalloveryoulikeawarmshowerbathOMaritanawildwoodflowerwesangsplendidlythoughitwasabittoohighformyregistereventransposedandhewasmarriedatthetimetoMayGouldingbutthenhedsayordosomethingtoknockthegoodoutofithesawidowernowIwonderwhatsortishissonhesayshesanauthorandgoingtobeauniversityprofessorofItalianandImtotakelessonswhatishedrivingatnowshowinghimmyphotoitsnotgoodofmeIoughttohavegotittakenindraperythatneverlooksoutoffashionstillIlookyounginitIwonderhedidntmakehimapresentofitaltogetherandmetooafterallwhynotIsawhimdrivingdowntotheKingsbridgestationwithhisfatherandmotherIwasinmourningthats11yearsagonowyeshedbe11thoughwhatwasthegoodingoingintomourningforwhatwasneitheronethingnortheotherthefirstcrywasenoughformeIheardthedeathwatchtootickinginthewallofcourseheinsistedhedgointomourningforthecatIsupposehesamannowbythistimehewasaninnocentboythenandadarlinglittlefellowinhislordFauntleroysuitandcurlyhairlikeaprinceonthestagewhenIsawhimatMatDillonshelikedmetooIremembertheyalldowaitbyGodyeswaityesholdonhewasonthecardsthismorningwhenIlaidoutthedeckunionwithayoungstrangerneitherdarknorfairyoumetbeforeIthoughtitmeanthimbuthesnochickennorastrangereitherbesidesmyfacewasturnedtheotherwaywhatwasthe7thcardafterthatthe10ofspadesforajourneybylandthentherewasaletteronitswayandscandalstoothe3queensandthe8ofdiamondsforariseinsocietyyeswaititallcameoutand2red8sfornewgarmentslookatthatanddidntIdreamsomethingtooyestherewassomethingaboutpoetryinitIhopehehasntlonggreasyhairhangingintohiseyesorstandinguplikearedIndianwhatdotheygoaboutlikethatforonlygettingthemselvesandtheirpoetrylaughedatIalwayslikedpoetrywhenIwasagirlfirstIthoughthewasapoetlikelordByronandnotanounceofitinhiscompositionIthoughthewasquitedifferentIwonderishetooyounghesaboutwait88Iwasmarried88Millyis15yesterday89whatagewashethenatDillons5or6about88Isupposehes20ormoreImnottoooldforhimifhes23or24IhopehesnotthatstuckupuniversitystudentsortnootherwisehewouldntgosittingdownintheoldkitchenwithhimtakingEppsscocoaandtalkingofcoursehepretendedtounderstanditallprobablyhetoldhimhewasoutofTrinitycollegehesveryyoungtobeaprofessorIhopehesnotaprofessorlikeGoodwinwashewasapotentprofessorofJohnJamesontheyallwriteaboutsomewomanintheirpoetrywellIsupposehewontfindmanylikemewheresoftlysighsoflovethelightguitarwherepoetryisintheairtheblueseaandthemoonshiningsobeautifullycomingbackonthenightboatfromTarifathelighthouseatEuropapointtheguitarthatfellowplayedwassoexpressivewillIevergobackthereagainallnewfacestwoglancingeyesalatticehidIllsingthatforhimtheyremyeyesifhesanythingofapoettwoeyesasdarklybrightaslovesownstararentthosebeautifulwordsaslovesyoungstaritllbeachangetheLordknowstohaveanintelligentpersontotalktoaboutyourselfnotalwayslisteningtohimandBillyPrescottsadandKeyessadandTomtheDevilsadthenifanythinggoeswrongintheirbusinesswehavetosufferImsurehesverydistinguishedIdliketomeetamanlikethatGodnotthoseotherruckbesideshesyoungthosefineyoungmenIcouldseedowninMargatestrandbathingplacefromthesideoftherockstandingupinthesunnakedlikeaGodorsomethingandthenplungingintotheseawiththemwhyarentallmenlikethattheredbesomeconsolationforawomanlikethatlovelylittlestatueheboughtIcouldlookathimalldaylongcurlyheadandhisshouldershisfingerupforyoutolistentheresrealbeautyandpoetryforyouIoftenfeltIwantedtokisshimalloveralsohislovelyyoungcocktheresosimpleIwouldntmindtakinghiminmymouthifnobodywaslookingasifitwasaskingyoutosuckitsocleanandwhitehelookswithhisboyishfaceIwouldtooin12aminuteevenifsomeofitwentdownwhatitsonlylikegruelorthedewtheresnodangerbesideshedbesocleancomparedwiththosepigsofmenIsupposeneverdreamofwashingitfromIyearsendtotheotherthemostofthemonlythatswhatgivesthewomenthemoustachesImsureitllbegrandifIcanonlygetinwithahandsomeyoungpoetatmyageIllthrowthemthe1stthinginthemorningtillIseeifthewishcardcomesoutorIlltrypairingtheladyherselfandseeifhecomesoutIllreadandstudyallIcanfindorlearnabitoffbyheartifIknewwhohelikessohewontthinkmestupidifhethinksallwomenarethesameandIcanteachhimtheotherpartIllmakehimfeelalloverhimtillhehalffaintsundermethenhellwriteaboutmeloverandmistresspubliclytoowithour2photographsinallthepaperswhenhebecomesfamousObutthenwhatamIgoingtodoabouthimthoughnothatsnowayforhimhashenomannersnornorefinementnornonothinginhisnatureslappingusbehindlikethatonmybottombecauseIdidntcallhimHughtheignoramusthatdoesntknowpoetryfromacabbagethatswhatyougetfornotkeepingthemintheirproperplacepullingoffhisshoesandtrousersthereonthechairbeforemesobarefacedwithoutevenaskingpermissionandstandingoutthatvulgarwayinthehalfofashirttheyweartobeadmiredlikeapriestorabutcherorthoseoldhypocritesinthetimeofJuliusCaesarofcoursehesrightenoughinhiswaytopassthetimeasajokesureyoumightaswellbeinbedwithwhatwithalionGodImsurehedhavesomethingbettertosayforhimselfanoldLionwouldOwellIsupposeitsbecausetheyweresoplumpandtemptinginmyshortpetticoathecouldntresisttheyexcitemyselfsometimesitswellformenalltheamountofpleasuretheygetoffawomansbodyweresoroundandwhiteforthemalwaysIwishedIwasonemyselfforachangejusttotrywiththatthingtheyhaveswellinguponyousohardandatthesametimesosoftwhenyoutouchitmyuncleJohnhasathinglongIheardthosecornerboyssayingpassingthecomerofMarrowbonelanemyauntMaryhasathinghairybecauseitwasdarkandtheyknewagirlwaspassingitdidntmakemeblushwhyshoulditeitheritsonlynatureandheputshisthinglongintomyauntMaryshairyetceteraandturnsouttobeyouputthehandleinasweepingbrushmenagainallovertheycanpickandchoosewhattheypleaseamarriedwomanorafastwidoworagirlfortheirdifferenttasteslikethosehousesroundbehindIrishstreetnobutweretobealwayschaineduptheyrenotgoingtobechainingmeupnodamnfearonceIstartItellyoufortheirstupidhusbandsjealousywhycantweallremainfriendsoveritinsteadofquarrellingherhusbandfounditoutwhattheydidtogetherwellnaturallyandifhedidcanheundoithescoronadoanywaywhateverhedoesandthenhegoingtotheothermadextremeaboutthewifeinFairTyrantsofcoursethemanneverevencastsa2ndthoughtonthehusbandorwifeeitheritsthewomanhewantsandhegetsherwhatelsewerewegivenallthosedesiresforIdliketoknowIcanthelpitifImyoungstillcanIitsawonderImnotanoldshrivelledhagbeforemytimelivingwithhimsocoldneverembracingmeexceptsometimeswhenhesasleepthewrongendofmenotknowingIsupposewhohehasanymanthatdkissawomansbottomIdthrowmyhatathimafterthathedkissanythingunnaturalwherewehaventIatomofanykindofexpressioninusallofusthesame2lumpsoflardbeforeeverIddothattoamanpfoohthedirtybrutesthemerethoughtisenoughIkissthefeetofyousenoritatheressomesenseinthatdidnthekissourhalldooryeshedidwhatamadmannobodyunderstandshiscrackedideasbutmestillofcourseawomanwantstobeembraced20timesadayalmosttomakeherlookyoungnomatterbywhosolongastobeinloveorlovedbysomebodyifthefellowyouwantisnttheresometimesbytheLordGodIwasthinkingwouldIgoaroundbythequaystheresomedarkeveningwherenobodydknowmeandpickupasailorofftheseathatdbehotonforitandnotcareapinwhoseIwasonlydoitoffupinagatesomewhereoroneofthosewildlookinggipsiesinRathfarnhamhadtheircamppitchedneartheBloomfieldlaundrytotryandstealourthingsiftheycouldIonlysentminethereafewtimesforthenamemodellaundrysendingmebackoverandoversomeoldonesoddstockingsthatblackguardlookingfellowwiththefineeyespeelingaswitchattackmeinthedarkandridemeupagainstthewallwithoutawordoramurdereranybodywhattheydothemselvesthefinegentlemenintheirsilkhatsthatKClivesupsomewherethiswaycomingoutofHardwickelanethenighthegaveusthefishsupperonaccountofwinningovertheboxingmatchofcourseitwasformehegaveitIknewhimbyhisgaitersandthewalkandwhenIturnedroundaminuteafterjusttoseetherewasawomanaftercomingoutofittoosomefilthyprostitutethenhegoeshometohiswifeafterthatonlyIsupposethehalfofthosesailorsarerottenagainwithdiseaseOmoveoveryourbigcarcassoutofthatfortheloveofMikelistentohimthewindsthatwaftmysighstotheesowellhemaysleepandsighthegreatSuggesterDonPoldodelaFloraifheknewhowhecameoutonthecardsthismorninghedhavesomethingtosighforadarkmaninsomeperplexitybetween27stooinprisonforLordknowswhathedoesthatIdontknowandImtobesloochingarounddowninthekitchentogethislordshiphisbreakfastwhilehesrolleduplikeamummywillIindeeddidyoueverseemerunningIdjustliketoseemyselfatitshowthemattentionandtheytreatyoulikedirtIdontcarewhatanybodysaysitdbemuchbetterfortheworldtobegovernedbythewomeninityouwouldntseewomengoingandkillingoneanotherandslaughteringwhendoyoueverseewomenrollingarounddrunkliketheydoorgamblingeverypennytheyhaveandlosingitonhorsesyesbecauseawomanwhatevershedoessheknowswheretostopsuretheywouldntbeintheworldatallonlyforustheydontknowwhatitistobeawomanandamotherhowcouldtheywherewouldtheyallofthembeiftheyhadntallamothertolookafterthemwhatIneverhadthatswhyIsupposehesrunningwildnowoutatnightawayfromhisbooksandstudiesandnotlivingathomeonaccountoftheusualrowyhouseIsupposewellitsapoorcasethatthosethathaveafinesonlikethattheyrenotsatisfiedandInonewashenotabletomakeoneitwasntmyfaultwecametogetherwhenIwaswatchingthetwodogsupinherbehindinthemiddleofthenakedstreetthatdisheartenedmealtogetherIsupposeIoughtnttohaveburiedhiminthatlittlewoollyjacketIknittedcryingasIwasbutgiveittosomepoorchildbutIknewwellIdneverhaveanotherour1stdeathtooitwaswewereneverthesamesinceOImnotgoingtothinkmyselfintothegloomsaboutthatanymoreIwonderwhyhewouldntstaythenightIfeltallthetimeitwassomebodystrangehebroughtininsteadofrovingaroundthecitymeetingGodknowswhonightwalkersandpickpocketshispoormotherwouldntlikethatifshewasaliveruininghimselfforlifeperhapsstillitsalovelyhoursosilentIusedtolovecominghomeafterdancestheairofthenighttheyhavefriendstheycantalktowevenoneeitherhewantswhathewontgetoritssomewomanreadytostickherknifeinyouIhatethatinwomennowondertheytreatusthewaytheydoweareadreadfullotofbitchesIsupposeitsallthetroubleswehavemakesussosnappyImnotlikethathecouldeasyhavesleptinthereonthesofaintheotherroomIsupposehewasasshyasaboyhebeingsoyounghardly20ofmeinthenextroomhedhaveheardmeonthechamberarrahwhatharmDedalusIwonderitslikethosenamesinGibraltarDelapazDelagraciatheyhadthedevilsqueernamestherefatherVilaplanaofSantaMariathatgavemetherosaryRosalesyOReillyintheCallelasSieteRevueltasandPisimboandMrsOpissoinGovernorstreetOwhatanameIdgoanddrownmyselfinthefirstriverifIhadanamelikeherOmyandallthebitsofstreetsParadiserampandBedlamrampandRodgersrampandCrutchettsrampandthedevilsgapstepswellsmallblametomeifIamaharumscarumIknowIamabitIdeclaretoGodIdontfeeladayolderthanthenIwondercouldIgetmytongueroundanyoftheSpanishcomoestaustedmuybiengraciasyustedseeIhaventforgottenitallIthoughtIhadonlyforthegrammaranounisthenameofanypersonplaceorthingpityInevertriedtoreadthatnovelcantankerousMrsRubiolentmebyValerawiththequestionsinitallupsidedownthetwowaysIalwaysknewwedgoawayintheendIcantellhimtheSpanishandhetellmetheItalianthenhellseeImnotsoignorantwhatapityhedidntstayImsurethepoorfellowwasdeadtiredandwantedagoodsleepbadlyIcouldhavebroughthiminhisbreakfastinbedwithabitoftoastsolongasIdidntdoitontheknifeforbadluckorifthewomanwasgoingherroundswiththewatercressandsomethingniceandtastythereareafewolivesinthekitchenhemightlikeInevercouldbearthelookoftheminAbrinesIcoulddothecriadatheroomlooksallrightsinceIchangedittheotherwayyouseesomethingwastellingmeallthetimeIdhavetointroducemyselfnotknowingmefromAdamveryfunnywouldntitImhiswifeorpretendwewereinSpainwithhimhalfawakewithoutaGodsnotionwhereheisdoshuevosestrelladossenorLordthecrackedthingscomeintomyheadsometimesitdbegreatfunsupposinghestayedwithuswhynottherestheroomupstairsemptyandMillysbedinthebackroomhecoulddohiswritingandstudiesatthetableinthereforallthescribblinghedoesatitandifhewantstoreadinbedinthemorninglikemeashesmakingthebreakfastforIhecanmakeitfor2ImsureImnotgoingtotakeinlodgersoffthestreetforhimifhetakesagesaboofahouselikethisIdlovetohavealongtalkwithanintelligentwelleducatedpersonIdhavetogetanicepairofredslipperslikethoseTurkswiththefezusedtoselloryellowandanicesemitransparentmorninggownthatIbadlywantorapeachblossomdressingjacketliketheonelongagoinWalpolesonly86or186IlljustgivehimonemorechanceIllgetupearlyinthemorningImsickofCohensoldbedinanycaseImightgoovertothemarketstoseeallthevegetablesandcabbagesandtomatoesandcarrotsandallkindsofsplendidfruitsallcominginlovelyandfreshwhoknowswhodbethe1stmanIdmeettheyreoutlookingforitinthemorningMamyDillonusedtosaytheyareandthenighttoothatwashermassgoingIdloveabigjuicypearnowtomeltinyourmouthlikewhenIusedtobeinthelongingwaythenIllthrowhimuphiseggsandteainthemoustachecupshegavehimtomakehismouthbiggerIsupposehedlikemynicecreamtooIknowwhatIlldoIllgoaboutrathergaynottoomuchsingingabitnowandthenmifapietaMasettothenIllstartdressingmyselftogooutprestononsonpiuforteIllputonmybestshiftanddrawerslethimhaveagoodeyefuloutofthattomakehismickystandforhimIlllethimknowifthatswhathewantedthathiswifeisIslofuckedyesanddamnwellfuckedtoouptomynecknearlynotbyhim5or6timeshandrunningtheresthemarkofhisspunkonthecleansheetIwouldntbothertoevenironitoutthatoughttosatisfyhimifyoudontbelievemefeelmybellyunlessImadehimstandthereandputhimintomeIveamindtotellhimeveryscrapandmakehimdoitoutinfrontofmeservehimrightitsallhisownfaultifIamanadulteressasthethinginthegallerysaidOmuchaboutitifthatsalltheharmeverwedidinthisvaleoftearsGodknowsitsnotmuchdoesnteverybodyonlytheyhideitIsupposethatswhatawomanissupposedtobetherefororHewouldnthavemadeusthewayHedidsoattractivetomenthenifhewantstokissmybottomIlldragopenmydrawersandbulgeitrightoutinhisfaceaslargeaslifehecanstickhistongue7milesupmyholeashestheremybrownpartthenIlltellhimIwantLIorperhaps30IlltellhimIwanttobuyunderclothesthenifhegivesmethatwellhewontbetoobadIdontwanttosoakitalloutofhimlikeotherwomendoIcouldoftenhavewrittenoutafinechequeformyselfandwritehisnameonitforacoupleofpoundsafewtimesheforgottolockitupbesideshewontspenditIlllethimdoitoffonmebehindprovidedhedoesntsmearallmygooddrawersOIsupposethatcantbehelpedIlldotheindifferentlor2questionsIllknowbytheanswerswhenheslikethathecantkeepathingbackIknoweveryturninhimIlltightenmybottomwellandletoutafewsmuttywordssmellrumporlickmyshitorthefirstmadthingcomesintomyheadthenIllsuggestaboutyesOwaitnowsonnymyturniscomingIllbequitegayandfriendlyoveritObutIwasforgettingthisbloodypestofathingpfoohyouwouldntknowwhichtolaughorcryweresuchamixtureofplumandapplenoIllhavetoweartheoldthingssomuchthebetteritllbemorepointedhellneverknowwhetherhediditornottherethatsgoodenoughforyouanyoldthingatallthenIllwipehimoffmejustlikeabusinesshisomissionthenIllgooutIllhavehimeyingupattheceilingwhereisshegonenowmakehimwantmethatstheonlywayaquarterafterwhatanunearthlyhourIsupposetheyrejustgettingupinChinanowcombingouttheirpigtailsforthedaywellsoonhavethenunsringingtheangelustheyvenobodycomingintospoiltheirsleepexceptanoddpriestortwoforhisnightofficeorthealarmclocknextdooratcockshoutclatteringthebrainsoutofitselfletmeseeifIcandozeoff12345whatkindofflowersarethosetheyinventedlikethestarsthewallpaperinLombardstreetwasmuchnicertheapronhegavemewaslikethatsomethingonlyIonlyworeittwicebetterlowerthislampandtryagainsoasIcangetupearlyIllgotoLambestherebesideFindlatersandgetthemtosendussomeflowerstoputabouttheplaceincasehebringshimhometomorrowtodayImeannonoFridaysanunluckydayfirstIwanttodotheplaceupsomewaythedustgrowsinitIthinkwhileImasleepthenwecanhavemusicandcigarettesIcanaccompanyhimfirstImustcleanthekeysofthepianowithmilkwhatllIwearshallIwearawhiteroseorthosefairycakesinLiptonsIlovethesmellofarichbigshopat712dalbortheotheroneswiththecherriesinthemandthepinkysugarIIdacoupleoflbsofthoseaniceplantforthemiddleofthetableIdgetthatcheaperinwaitwheresthisIsawthemnotlongagoIloveflowersIdlovetohavethewholeplaceswimminginrosesGodofheaventheresnothinglikenaturethewildmountainsthentheseaandthewavesrushingthenthebeautifulcountrywiththefieldsofoatsandwheatandallkindsofthingsandallthefinecattlegoingaboutthatwoulddoyourheartgoodtoseeriversandlakesandflowersallsortsofshapesandsmellsandcoloursspringingupevenoutoftheditchesprimrosesandvioletsnatureitisasforthemsayingtheresnoGodIwouldntgiveasnapofmytwofingersforalltheirlearningwhydonttheygoandcreatesomethingIoftenaskedhimatheistsorwhatevertheycallthemselvesgoandwashthecobblesoffthemselvesfirstthentheygohowlingforthepriestandtheydyingandwhywhybecausetheyreafraidofhellonaccountoftheirbadconscienceahyesIknowthemwellwhowasthefirstpersonintheuniversebeforetherewasanybodythatmadeitallwhoahthattheydontknowneitherdoIsothereyouaretheymightaswelltrytostopthesunfromrisingtomorrowthesunshinesforyouhesaidthedaywewerelyingamongtherhododendronsonHowthheadinthegreytweedsuitandhisstrawhatthedayIgothimtoproposetomeyesfirstIgavehimthebitofseedcakeoutofmymouthanditwasleapyearlikenowyes16yearsagomyGodafterthatlongkissInearlostmybreathyeshesaidIwasaflowerofthemountainyessoweareflowersallawomansbodyyesthatwasonetruethinghesaidinhislifeandthesunshinesforyoutodayyesthatwaswhyIlikedhimbecauseIsawheunderstoodorfeltwhatawomanisandIknewIcouldalwaysgetroundhimandIgavehimallthepleasureIcouldleadinghimontillheaskedmetosayyesandIwouldntanswerfirstonlylookedoutovertheseaandtheskyIwasthinkingofsomanythingshedidntknowofMulveyandMrStanhopeandHesterandfatherandoldcaptainGrovesandthesailorsplayingallbirdsflyandIsaystoopandwashingupdishestheycalleditonthepierandthesentryinfrontofthegovernorshousewiththethingroundhiswhitehelmetpoordevilhalfroastedandtheSpanishgirlslaughingintheirshawlsandtheirtallcombsandtheauctionsinthemorningtheGreeksandthejewsandtheArabsandthedevilknowswhoelsefromalltheendsofEuropeandDukestreetandthefowlmarketallcluckingoutsideLarbySharonsandthepoordonkeysslippinghalfasleepandthevaguefellowsinthecloaksasleepintheshadeonthestepsandthebigwheelsofthecartsofthebullsandtheoldcastlethousandsofyearsoldyesandthosehandsomeMoorsallinwhiteandturbanslikekingsaskingyoutositdownintheirlittlebitofashopandRondawiththeoldwindowsoftheposadas2glancingeyesalatticehidforherlovertokisstheironandthewineshopshalfopenatnightandthecastanetsandthenightwemissedtheboatatAlgecirasthewatchmangoingaboutserenewithhislampandOthatawfuldeepdowntorrentOandtheseatheseacrimsonsometimeslikefireandtheglorioussunsetsandthefigtreesintheAlamedagardensyesandallthequeerlittlestreetsandthepinkandblueandyellowhousesandtherosegardensandthejessamineandgeraniumsandcactusesandGibraltarasagirlwhereIwasaFlowerofthemountainyeswhenIputtheroseinmyhairliketheAndalusiangirlsusedorshallIweararedyesandhowhekissedmeundertheMoorishwallandIthoughtwellaswellhimasanotherandthenIaskedhimwithmyeyestoaskagainyesandthenheaskedmewouldIyestosayyesmymountainflowerandfirstIputmyarmsaroundhimyesanddrewhimdowntomesohecouldfeelmybreastsallperfumeyesandhisheartwasgoinglikemadandyesIsaidyesIwillYes\00"
@.str.4 = [45 x i8] c"The longest sentence is %d characters long.\0A\00"
define i32 @main() {
%1 = alloca i32
%2 = alloca i64
%3 = alloca i8*
%4 = alloca i8*
store i32 0, i32* %1
%5 = load i64, i64* %2
%6 = call i32 (i8*, ...) @printf(i8* getelementptr inbounds ([20 x i8], [20 x i8]* @.str, i64 0, i64 0), i64 %5)
%7 = call i32 (i8*, ...) @printf(i8* getelementptr inbounds ([51 x i8], [51 x i8]* @.str.1, i64 0, i64 0))
store i64 29, i64* %2
%8 = load i64, i64* %2
%9 = call i32 (i8*, ...) @printf(i8* getelementptr inbounds ([20 x i8], [20 x i8]* @.str, i64 0, i64 0), i64 %8)
store i8* getelementptr inbounds ([22 x i8], [22 x i8]* @.str.2, i64 0, i64 0), i8** %3
store i8* getelementptr inbounds ([50689 x i8], [50689 x i8]* @.str.3, i64 0, i64 0), i8** %4
%10 = load i8*, i8** %4
%11 = call i32 @strlen(i8* %10)
%12 = call i32 (i8*, ...) @printf(i8* getelementptr inbounds ([45 x i8], [45 x i8]* @.str.4, i64 0, i64 0), i32 %11)
ret i32 0
}

LLVM IR (-O2):
@.str = [20 x i8] c"I am %d years old!\0A\00"
@.str.3 = [50689 x i8] c"MulveyswasthefirstwhenIwasinbedthatmorningandMrsRubiobroughtitinwiththecoffeeshestoodtherestandingwhenIaskedhertohandmeandIpointingatthemIcouldntthinkofthewordahairpintoopenitwithahhorquilladisobligingoldthinganditstaringherinthefacewithherswitchoffalsehaironherandvainaboutherappearanceuglyasshewasnear80oralooherfaceamassofwrinkleswithallherreligiondomineeringbecauseshenevercouldgetovertheAtlanticfleetcominginhalftheshipsoftheworldandtheUnionJackflyingwithallhercarabinerosbecause4drunkenEnglishsailorstookalltherockfromthemandbecauseIdidntrunintomassoftenenoughinSantaMariatopleaseherwithhershawluponherexceptwhentherewasamarriageonwithallhermiraclesofthesaintsandherblackblessedvirginwiththesilverdressandthesundancing3timesonEasterSundaymorningandwhenthepriestwasgoingbywiththebellbringingthevaticantothedyingblessingherselfforhisMajestadanadmirerhesigneditInearjumpedoutofmyskinIwantedtopickhimupwhenIsawhimfollowingmealongtheCalleRealintheshopwindowthenhetippedmejustinpassingbutIneverthoughthedwritemakinganappointmentIhaditinsidemypetticoatbodicealldayreadingitupineveryholeandcornerwhilefatherwasupatthedrillinstructingtofindoutbythehandwritingorthelanguageofstampssingingIremembershallIwearawhiteroseandIwantedtoputontheoldstupidclocktonearthetimehewasthefirstmankissedmeundertheMoorishwallmysweetheartwhenaboyitneverenteredmyheadwhatkissingmeanttillheputhistongueinmymouthhismouthwassweetlikeyoungIputmykneeuptohimafewtimestolearnthewaywhatdidItellhimIwasengagedforforfuntothesonofaSpanishnoblemannamedDonMigueldelaFloraandhebelievedmethatIwastobemarriedtohimin3yearstimetheresmanyatruewordspokeninjestthereisaflowerthatbloomethafewthingsItoldhimtrueaboutmyselfjustforhimtobeimaginingtheSpanishgirlshedidntlikeIsupposeoneofthemwouldnthavehimIgothimexcitedhecrushedalltheflowersonmybosomhebroughtmehecouldntcountthepesetasandtheperragordastillItaughthimCappoquinhecamefromhesaidontheblackwaterbutitwastooshortthenthedaybeforeheleftMayyesitwasMaywhentheinfantkingofSpainwasbornImalwayslikethatinthespringIdlikeanewfelloweveryyearuponthetiptopundertherockgunnearOHarastowerItoldhimitwasstruckbylightningandallabouttheoldBarbaryapestheysenttoClaphamwithoutatailcareeringallovertheshowoneachothersbackMrsRubiosaidshewasaregularoldrockscorpionrobbingthechickensoutofIncesfarmandthrowstonesatyouifyouwentanearhewaslookingatmeIhadthatwhiteblouseonopeninthefronttoencouragehimasmuchasIcouldwithouttooopenlytheywerejustbeginningtobeplumpIsaidIwastiredwelayoverthefirtreecoveawildplaceIsupposeitmustbethehighestrockinexistencethegalleriesandcasematesandthosefrightfulrocksandSaintMichaelscavewiththeiciclesorwhatevertheycallthemhangingdownandladdersallthemudplotchingmybootsImsurethatsthewaydownthemonkeysgoundertheseatoAfricawhentheydietheshipsoutfarlikechipsthatwastheMaltaboatpassingyestheseaandtheskyyoucoulddowhatyoulikedliethereforeverhecaressedthemoutsidetheylovedoingthatitstheroundnessthereIwasleaningoverhimwithmywhitericestrawhattotakethenewnessoutofittheleftsideofmyfacethebestmyblouseopenforhislastdaytransparentkindofshirthehadIcouldseehischestpinkhewantedtotouchminewithhisforamomentbutIwouldntleehimhewasawfullyputoutfirstforfearyouneverknowconsumptionorleavemewithachildembarazadathatoldservantInestoldmethatonedropevenifitgotintoyouatallafterItriedwiththeBananabutIwasafraiditmightbreakandgetlostupinmesomewherebecausetheyoncetooksomethingdownoutofawomanthatwasupthereforyearscoveredwithlimesaltstheyreallmadtogetintherewheretheycomeoutofyoudthinktheycouldnevergofarenoughupandthentheyredonewithyouinawaytillthenexttimeyesbecausetheresawonderfulfeelingtheresotenderallthetimehowdidwefinishitoffyesOyesIpulledhimoffintomyhandkerchiefpretendingnottobeexcitedbutIopenedmylegsIwouldntlethimtouchmeinsidemypetticoatbecauseIhadaskirtopeningupthesideItormentedthelifeoutofhimfirstticklinghimIlovedrousingthatdoginthehotelrrrssssttawokwokawokhiseyesshutandabirdflyingbelowushewasshyallthesameIlikedhimlikethatmoaningImadehimblushalittlewhenIgotoverhimthatwaywhenIunbuttonedhimandtookhisoutanddrewbacktheskinithadakindofeyeinittheyreallButtonsmendownthemiddleonthewrongsideofthemMollydarlinghecalledmewhatwashisnameJackJoeHarryMulveywasityesIthinkalieutenanthewasratherfairhehadalaughingkindofavoicesoIwentroundtothewhatyoucalliteverythingwaswhatyoucallitmoustachehadhehesaidhedcomebackLorditsjustlikeyesterdaytomeandifIwasmarriedheddoittomeandIpromisedhimyesfaithfullyIdlethimblockmenowflyingperhapshesdeadorkilledoracaptainoradmiralitsnearly20yearsifIsaidfirtreecovehewouldifhecameupbehindmeandputhishandsovermyeyestoguesswhoImightrecognisehimhesyoungstillabout40perhapshesmarriedsomegirlontheblackwaterandisquitechangedtheyalldotheyhaventhalfthecharacterawomanhasshelittleknowswhatIdidwithherbelovedhusbandbeforeheeverdreamtofherinbroaddaylighttoointhesightofthewholeworldyoumightsaytheycouldhaveputanarticleaboutitintheChronicleIwasabitwildafterwhenIblewouttheoldbagthebiscuitswereinfromBenadyBrosandexplodeditLordwhatabangallthewoodcocksandpigeonsscreamingcomingbackthesamewaythatwewentovermiddlehillroundbytheoldguardhouseandthejewsburialplacepretendingtoreadouttheHebrewonthemIwantedtofirehispistolhesaidhehadntonehedidntknowwhattomakeofmewithhispeakcaponthathealwaysworecrookedasoftenasIsettleditstraightHMSCalypsoswingingmyhatthatoldBishopthatspokeoffthealtarhislongpreachaboutwomanshigherfunctionsaboutgirlsnowridingthebicycleandwearingpeakcapsandthenewwomanbloomersGodsendhimsenseandmemoremoneyIsupposetheyrecalledafterhimIneverthoughtthatwouldbemynameBloomwhenIusedtowriteitinprinttoseehowitlookedonavisitingcardorpractisingforthebutcherandobligeMBloomyourelookingbloomingJosieusedtosayafterImarriedhimwellitsbetterthanBreenorBriggsdoesbrigorthoseawfulnameswithbottominthemMrsRamsbottomorsomeotherkindofabottomMulveyIwouldntgomadabouteitherorsupposeIdivorcedhimMrsBoylanmymotherwhoevershewasmighthavegivenmeanicernametheLordknowsafterthelovelyoneshehadLunitaLaredothefunwehadrunningalongWillissroadtoEuropapointtwistinginandoutallroundtheothersideofJerseytheywereshakinganddancingaboutinmyblouselikeMillyslittleonesnowwhensherunsupthestairsIlovedlookingdownatthemIwasjumpingupatthepeppertreesandthewhitepoplarspullingtheleavesoffandthrowingthemathimhewenttoIndiahewastowritethevoyagesthosemenhavetomaketotheendsoftheworldandbackitstheleasttheymightgetasqueezeortwoatawomanwhiletheycangoingouttobedrownedorblownupsomewhereIwentupWindmillhilltotheflatsthatSundaymorningwithcaptainRubiosthatwasdeadspyglasslikethesentryhadhesaidhedhaveoneortwofromonboardIworethatfrockfromtheBMarcheparisandthecoralnecklacethestraitsshiningIcouldseeovertoMoroccoalmostthebayofTangierwhiteandtheAtlasmountainwithsnowonitandthestraitslikeariversoclearHarryMollydarlingIwasthinkingofhimontheseaallthetimeafteratmasswhenmypetticoatbegantoslipdownattheelevationweeksandweeksIkeptthehandkerchiefundermypillowforthesmellofhimtherewasnodecentperfumetobegotinthatGibraltaronlythatcheappeaudEspagnethatfadedandleftastinkonyoumorethananythingelseIwantedtogivehimamementohegavemethatclumsyCladdaghringforluckthatIgaveGardnergoingtosouthAfricawherethoseBoerskilledhimwiththeirwarandfeverbuttheywerewellbeatenallthesameasifitbroughtitsbadluckwithitlikeanopalorpearlstillitmusthavebeenpure18carrotgoldbecauseitwasveryheavybutwhatcouldyougetinaplacelikethatthesandfrogshowerfromAfricaandthatderelictshipthatcameuptotheharbourMarietheMariewhatyoucallitnohehadntamoustachethatwasGardneryesIcanseehisfacecleanshavenFrseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrongthattrainagainweepingtoneonceinthedeardeaeaddaysbeyondrecallclosemyeyesbreathmylipsforwardkisssadlookeyesopenpianoereoertheworldthemistsbeganIhatethatistsbegcomeslovessweetsooooooooooongIllletthatoutfullwhenIgetinfrontofthefootlightsagainKathleenKearneyandherlotofsquealersMissThisMissThatMissTheotherlotofsparrowfartsskittingaroundtalkingaboutpoliticstheyknowasmuchaboutasmybacksideanythingintheworldtomakethemselvessomewayinterestingIrishhomemadebeautiessoldiersdaughteramIayandwhoseareyoubootmakersandpublicansIbegyourpardoncoachIthoughtyouwereawheelbarrowtheyddiedowndeadofftheirfeetifevertheygotachanceofwalkingdowntheAlamedaonanofficersarmlikemeonthebandnightmyeyesflashmybustthattheyhaventpassionGodhelptheirpoorheadIknewmoreaboutmenandlifewhenIwasISthantheyllallknowat50theydontknowhowtosingasonglikethatGardnersaidnomancouldlookatmymouthandteethsmilinglikethatandnotthinkofitIwasafraidhemightntlikemyaccentfirsthesoEnglishallfatherleftmeinspiteofhisstampsIvemymotherseyesandfigureanyhowhealwayssaidtheyresosnottyaboutthemselvessomeofthosecadshewasntabitlikethathewasdeadgoneonmylipsletthemgetahusbandfirstthatsfittobelookedatandadaughterlikemineorseeiftheycanexciteaswellwithmoneythatcanpickandchoosewhoeverhewantslikeBoylantodoit4or5timeslockedineachothersarmsorthevoiceeitherIcouldhavebeenaprimadonnaonlyImarriedhimcomesloooovesolddeepdownchinbacknottoomuchmakeitdoubleMyLadysBoweristoolongforanencoreaboutthemoatedgrangeattwilightandvauntedroomsyesIllsingWindsthatblowfromthesouththathegaveafterthechoirstairsperformanceIllchangethatlaceonmyblackdresstoshowoffmybubsandIllyesbyGodIllgetthatbigfanmendedmakethemburstwithenvymyholeisitchingmealwayswhenIthinkofhimIfeelIwanttoIfeelsomewindinmebettergoeasynotwakehimhavehimatitagainslobberingafterwashingeverybitofmyselfbackbellyandsidesifwehadevenabathitselformyownroomanywayIwishhedsleepinsomebedbyhimselfwithhiscoldfeetonmegiveusroomeventoletafartGodordotheleastthingbetteryesholdthemlikethatabitonmysidepianoquietlysweeeeetheresthattrainfarawaypianissimoeeeeeonemoresongthatwasareliefwhereveryoubeletyourwindgofreewhoknowsifthatporkchopItookwithmycupofteaafterwasquitegoodwiththeheatIcouldntsmellanythingoffitImsurethatqueerlookingmanintheporkbutchersisagreatrogueIhopethatlampisnotsmokingfillmynoseupwithsmutsbetterthanhavinghimleavingthegasonallnightIcouldntresteasyinmybedinGibraltarevengettinguptoseewhyamIsodamnednervousaboutthatthoughIlikeitinthewinteritsmorecompanyOLorditwasrottencoldtoothatwinterwhenIwasonlyabouttenwasIyesIhadthebigdollwithallthefunnyclothesdressingherupandundressingthaticywindskeetingacrossfromthosemountainsthesomethingNevadasierranevadastandingatthefirewiththelittlebitofashortshiftIhaduptoheatmyselfIloveddancingaboutinitthenmakearacebackintobedImsurethatfellowoppositeusedtobetherethewholetimewatchingwiththelightsoutinthesummerandIinmyskinhoppingaroundIusedtolovemyselfthenstrippedatthewashstanddabbingandcreamingonlywhenitcametothechamberperformanceIputoutthelighttoosothentherewere2ofusgoodbyetomysleepforthisnightanyhowIhopehesnotgoingtogetinwiththosemedicalsleadinghimastraytoimaginehesyoungagaincominginat4inthemorningitmustbeifnotmorestillhehadthemannersnottowakemewhatdotheyfindtogabberaboutallnightsquanderingmoneyandgettingdrunkeranddrunkercouldnttheydrinkwaterthenhestartsgivingushisordersforeggsandteaandFindonhaddyandhotbutteredtoastIsupposewellhavehimsittinguplikethekingofthecountrypumpingthewrongendofthespoonupanddowninhiseggwhereverhelearnedthatfromandIlovetohearhimfallingupthestairsofamorningwiththecupsrattlingonthetrayandthenplaywiththecatsherubsupagainstyouforherownsakeIwonderhasshefleasshesasbadasawomanalwayslickingandleckingbutIhatetheirclawsIwonderdotheyseeanythingthatwecantstaringlikethatwhenshesitsatthetopofthestairssolongandlisteningasIwaitalwayswhatarobbertoothatlovelyfreshplaceIboughtIthinkIllgetabitoffishtomorrowortodayisitFridayyesIwillwithsomeblancmangewithblackcurrantjamlikelongagonotthose2lbpotsofmixedplumandapplefromtheLondonandNewcastleWilliamsandWoodsgoestwiceasfaronlyforthebonesIhatethoseeelscodyesIllgetanicepieceofcodImalwaysgettingenoughfor3forgettinganywayImsickofthateverlastingbutchersmeatfromBuckleysloinchopsandlegbeefandribsteakandscragofmuttonandcalfsplucktheverynameisenoughorapicnicsupposeweallgaveeachandorlethimpayitandinvitesomeotherwomanforhimwhoMrsFleminganddroveouttothefurryglenorthestrawberrybedswedhavehimexaminingallthehorsestoenailsfirstlikehedoeswiththelettersnonotwithBoylanthereyeswithsomecoldvealandhammixedsandwichestherearelittlehousesdownatthebottomofthebanksthereonpurposebutitsashotasblazeshesaysnotabankholidayanyhowIhatethoseruckofMaryAnncoalboxesoutforthedayWhitMondayisacurseddaytoonowonderthatbeebithimbettertheseasidebutIdneveragaininthislifegetintoaboatwithhimafterhimatBraytellingtheboatmanheknewhowtorowifanyoneaskedcouldheridethesteeplechaseforthegoldcuphedsayyesthenitcameontogetroughtheoldthingcrookedingaboutandtheweightalldownmysidetellingmepulltherightreinsnowpulltheleftandthetideallswampinginfloodsinthroughthebottomandhisoarslippingoutofthestirrupitsamercywewerentalldrownedhecanswimofcoursemenotheresnodangerwhatsoeverkeepyourselfcalminhisflanneltrousersIdliketohavetatteredthemdownoffhimbeforeallthepeopleandgivehimwhatthatonecallsflagellatetillhewasblackandbluedohimallthegoodintheworldonlyforthatlongnosedchapIdontknowwhoheiswiththatotherbeautyBurkeoutoftheCityArmshotelwastherespyingaroundasusualontheslipalwayswherehewasntwantediftherewasarowonyoudvomitabetterfacetherewasnolovelostbetweenusthats1consolationIwonderwhatkindisthatbookhebroughtmeSweetsofSinbyagentlemanoffashionsomeotherMrdeKockIsupposethepeoplegavehimthatnicknamegoingaboutwithhistubefromonewomantoanotherIcouldntevenchangemynewwhiteshoesallruinedwiththesaltwaterandthehatIhadwiththatfeatherallblowyandtossedonmehowannoyingandprovokingbecausethesmelloftheseaexcitedmeofcoursethesardinesandthebreaminCatalanbayroundthebackoftherocktheywerefineallsilverinthefishermensbasketsoldLuiginearahundredtheysaidcamefromGenoaandthetalloldchapwiththeearringsIdontlikeamanyouhavetoclimbuptotogetatIsupposetheyrealldeadandrottenlongagobesidesIdontlikebeingaloneinthisbigbarracksofaplaceatnightIsupposeIllhavetoputupwithitIneverbroughtabitofsaltinevenwhenwemovedintheconfusionmusicalacademyhewasgoingtomakeonthefirstfloordrawingroomwithabrassplateorBloomsprivatehotelhesuggestedgoandruinhimselfaltogetherthewayhisfatherdiddowninEnnislikeallthethingshetoldfatherhewasgoingtodoandmebutIsawthroughhimtellingmeallthelovelyplaceswecouldgoforthehoneymoonVenicebymoonlightwiththegondolasandthelakeofComohehadapicturecutoutofsomepaperofandmandolinesandlanternsOhowniceIsaidwhateverIlikedhewasgoingtodoimmediatelyifnotsoonerwillyoubemymanwillyoucarrymycanheoughttogetaleathermedalwithaputtyrimforalltheplansheinventsthenleavingusherealldayyoudneverknowwhatoldbeggaratthedoorforacrustwithhislongstorymightbeatrampandputhisfootinthewaytopreventmeshuttingitlikethatpictureofthathardenedcriminalhewascalledinLloydsWeeklynews20yearsinjailthenhecomesoutandmurdersanoldwomanforhermoneyimaginehispoorwifeormotherorwhoeversheissuchafaceyoudrunmilesawayfromIcouldntresteasytillIboltedallthedoorsandwindowstomakesurebutitsworseagainbeinglockeduplikeinaprisonoramadhousetheyoughttobeallshotorthecatofninetailsabigbrutelikethatthatwouldattackapooroldwomantomurderherinherbedIdcutthemoffhimsoIwouldnotthathedbemuchusestillbetterthannothingthenightIwassureIheardburglarsinthekitchenandhewentdowninhisshirtwithacandleandapokerasifhewaslookingforamouseaswhiteasasheetfrightenedoutofhiswitsmakingasmuchnoiseashepossiblycouldfortheburglarsbenefitthereisntmuchtostealindeedtheLordknowsstillitsthefeelingespeciallynowwithMillyawaysuchanideaforhimtosendthegirldowntheretolearntotakephotographsonaccountofhisgrandfatherinsteadofsendinghertoSkerrysacademywhereshedhavetolearnnotlikemegettingallISatschoolonlyheddoathinglikethatallthesameonaccountofmeandBoylanthatswhyhediditImcertainthewayheplotsandplanseverythingoutIcouldntturnroundwithherintheplacelatelyunlessIboltedthedoorfirstgavemethefidgetscominginwithoutknockingfirstwhenIputthechairagainstthedoorjustasIwaswashingmyselftherebelowwiththeglovegetonyournervesthendoingthelogladyalldayputherinaglasscasewithtwoatatimetolookatherifheknewshebrokeoffthehandoffthatlittlegimcrackstatuewithherroughnessandcarelessnessbeforesheleftthatIgotthatlittleItalianboytomendsothatyoucantseethejoinfor2shillingswouldnteventeemthepotatoesforyouofcourseshesrightnottoruinherhandsInoticedhewasalwaystalkingtoherlatelyatthetableexplainingthingsinthepaperandshepretendingtounderstandslyofcoursethatcomesfromhissideofthehousehecantsayIpretendthingscanheImtoohonestasamatteroffactandhelpingherintohercoatbutiftherewasanythingwrongwithheritsmeshedtellnothimIsupposehethinksImfinishedoutandlaidontheshelfwellImnotnonoranythinglikeitwellseewellseenowsheswellonforflirtingtoowithTomDevanstwosonsimitatingmewhistlingwiththoserompsofMurraygirlscallingforhercanMillycomeoutpleaseshesingreatdemandtopickwhattheycanoutofherroundinNelsonstreetridingHarryDevansbicycleatnightitsaswellhesentherwheresheisshewasjustgettingoutofboundswantingtogoontheskatingrinkandsmokingtheircigarettesthroughtheirnoseIsmeltitoffherdresswhenIwasbitingoffthethreadofthebuttonIsewedontothebottomofherjacketshecouldnthidemuchfrommeItellyouonlyIoughtnttohavestitcheditanditonheritbringsapartingandthelastplumpuddingtoosplitin2halvesseeitcomesoutnomatterwhattheysayhertongueisabittoolongformytasteyourblouseisopentoolowshesaystomethepancallingthekettleblackbottomandIhadtotellhernottocockherlegsuplikethatonshowonthewindowsillbeforeallthepeoplepassingtheyalllookatherlikemewhenIwasherageofcourseanyoldraglookswellonyouthenagreattouchmenottooinherownwayattheOnlyWayintheTheatreroyaltakeyourfootawayoutofthatIhatepeopletouchingmeafraidofherlifeIdcrushherskirtwiththepleatsalotofthattouchingmustgoonintheatresinthecrushinthedarktheyrealwaystryingtowiggleuptoyouthatfellowinthepitattheGaietyforBeerbohmTreeinTrilbythelasttimeIllevergotheretobesquashedlikethatforanyTrilbyorherbarebumeverytwominutestippingmethereandlookingawayhesabitdaftIthinkIsawhimaftertryingtogetneartwostylishdressedladiesoutsideSwitzerswindowatthesamelittlegameIrecognisedhimonthemomentthefaceandeverythingbuthedidntremembermeyesandshedidntevenwantmetokissherattheBroadstonegoingawaywellIhopeshellgetsomeonetodanceattendanceonherthewayIdidwhenshewasdownwiththemumpsandherglandsswollenwheresthisandwheresthatofcourseshecantfeelanythingdeepyetInevercameproperlytillIwaswhat22orsoitwentintothewrongplacealwaysonlytheusualgirlsnonsenseandgigglingthatConnyConnollywritingtoherinwhiteinkonblackpapersealedwithsealingwaxthoughsheclappedwhenthecurtaincamedownbecausehelookedsohandsomethenwehadMartinHarveyforbreakfastdinnerandsupperIthoughttomyselfafterwardsitmustberealloveifamangivesuphislifeforherthatwayfornothingIsupposethereareafewmenlikethatleftitshardtobelieveinitthoughunlessitreallyhappenedtomethemajorityofthemwithnotaparticleofloveintheirnaturestofindtwopeoplelikethatnowadaysfullupofeachotherthatwouldfeelthesamewayasyoudotheyreusuallyabitfoolishintheheadhisfathermusthavebeenabitqueertogoandpoisonhimselfafterherstillpooroldmanIsupposehefeltlostshesalwaysmakinglovetomythingstoothefewoldragsIhavewantingtoputherhairupatISmypowdertooonlyruinherskinonhershestimeenoughforthatallherlifeafterofcourseshesrestlessknowingshesprettywithherlipssoredapitytheywontstaythatwayIwastoobuttheresnousegoingtothefairwiththethingansweringmelikeafishwomanwhenIaskedtogoforahalfastoneofpotatoesthedaywemetMrsJoeGallaheratthetrottingmatchesandshepretendednottoseeusinhertrapwithFrierythesolicitorwewerentgrandenoughtillIgaveher2damnfinecracksacrosstheearforherselftakethatnowforansweringmelikethatandthatforyourimpudenceshehadmethatexasperatedofcoursecontradictingIwasbadtemperedtoobecausehowwasittherewasaweedintheteaorIdidntsleepthenightbeforecheeseIatewasitandItoldheroverandoveragainnottoleaveknivescrossedlikethatbecauseshehasnobodytocommandherasshesaidherselfwellifhedoesntcorrectherfaithIwillthatwasthelasttimesheturnedontheteartapIwasjustlikethatmyselftheydarentordermeabouttheplaceitshisfaultofcoursehavingthetwoofusslavinghereinsteadofgettinginawomanlongagoamIevergoingtohaveaproperservantagainofcoursethenshedseehimcomingIdhavetoletherknoworshedrevengeitarenttheyanuisancethatoldMrsFlemingyouhavetobewalkingroundafterherputtingthethingsintoherhandssneezingandfartingintothepotswellofcourseshesoldshecanthelpitagoodjobIfoundthatrottenoldsmellydishcloththatgotlostbehindthedresserIknewtherewassomethingandopenedtheareawindowtoletoutthesmellbringinginhisfriendstoentertainthemlikethenighthewalkedhomewithadogifyoupleasethatmighthavebeenmadespeciallySimonDedalussonhisfathersuchacriticiserwithhisglassesupwithhistallhatonhimatthecricketmatchandagreatbigholeinhissockonethinglaughingattheotherandhissonthatgotallthoseprizesforwhateverhewonthemintheintermediateimagineclimbingovertherailingsifanybodysawhimthatknewusIwonderhedidnttearabigholeinhisgrandfuneraltrousersasiftheonenaturegavewasntenoughforanybodyhawkinghimdownintothedirtyoldkitchennowisherightinhisheadIaskpityitwasntwashingdaymyoldpairofdrawersmighthavebeenhanginguptooonthelineonexhibitionforallhedevercarewiththeironmouldmarkthestupidoldbundleburnedonthemhemightthinkwassomethingelseandsheneverevenrendereddownthefatItoldherandnowshesgoingsuchasshewasonaccountofherparalysedhusbandgettingworsetheresalwayssomethingwrongwiththemdiseaseortheyhavetogounderanoperationorifitsnotthatitsdrinkandhebeatsherIllhavetohuntaroundagainforsomeoneeverydayIgetuptheressomenewthingonsweetGodsweetGodwellwhenImstretchedoutdeadinmygraveIsuppose111havesomepeaceIwanttogetupaminuteifImletwaitOJesuswaityesthatthinghascomeonmeyesnowwouldntthatafflictyouofcourseallthepokingandrootingandploughinghehadupinmenowwhatamItodoFridaySaturdaySundaywouldntthatpesterthesouloutofabodyunlesshelikesitsomemendoGodknowstheresalwayssomethingwrongwithus5daysevery3or4weeksusualmonthlyauctionisntitsimplysickeningthatnightitcameonmelikethattheoneandonlytimewewereinaboxthatMichaelGunngavehimtoseeMrsKendalandherhusbandattheGaietysomethinghedidaboutinsuranceforhiminDrimmiesIwasfittobetiedthoughIwouldntgiveinwiththatgentlemanoffashionstaringdownatmewithhisglassesandhimtheothersideofmetalkingaboutSpinozaandhissoulthatsdeadIsupposemillionsofyearsagoIsmiledthebestIcouldallinaswampleaningforwardasifIwasinterestedhavingtosititoutthentothelasttagIwontforgetthatwifeofScarliinahurrysupposedtobeafastplayaboutadulterythatidiotinthegalleryhissingthewomanadulteressheshoutedIsupposehewentandhadawomaninthenextlanerunningroundallthebackwaysaftertomakeupforitIwishhehadwhatIhadthenhedbooIbetthecatitselfisbetteroffthanushavewetoomuchbloodupinusorwhatOpatienceaboveitspouringoutofmeliketheseaanyhowhedidntmakemepregnantasbigasheisIdontwanttoruinthecleansheetsIjustputonIsupposethecleanlinenIworebroughtitontoodamnitdamnitandtheyalwayswanttoseeastainonthebedtoknowyoureavirginforthemallthatstroublingthemtheyresuchfoolstooyoucouldbeawidowordivorced40timesoveradaubofredinkwoulddoorblackberryjuicenothatstoopurplyOJamesyletmeupoutofthispoohsweetsofsinwhoeversuggestedthatbusinessforwomenwhatbetweenclothesandcookingandchildrenthisdamnedoldbedtoojinglinglikethedickensIsupposetheycouldhearusawayovertheothersideoftheparktillIsuggestedtoputthequiltonthefloorwiththepillowundermybottomIwonderisitnicerinthedayIthinkitiseasyIthinkIllcutallthishairoffmetherescaldingmeImightlooklikeayounggirlwouldnthegetthegreatsuckinthenexttimeheturnedupmyclothesonmeIdgiveanythingtoseehisfacewheresthechambergoneeasyIveaholyhorrorofitsbreakingundermeafterthatoldcommodeIwonderwasItooheavysittingonhiskneeImadehimsitontheeasychairpurposelywhenItookoffonlymyblouseandskirtfirstintheotherroomhewassobusywhereheoughtnttobeheneverfeltmeIhopemybreathwassweetafterthosekissingcomfitseasyGodIrememberonetimeIcouldscoutitoutstraightwhistlinglikeamanalmosteasyOLordhownoisyIhopetheyrebubblesonitforawadofmoneyfromsomefellow111havetoperfumeitinthemorningdontforgetIbetheneversawabetterpairofthighsthanthatlookhowwhitetheyarethesmoothestplaceisrighttherebetweenthisbitherehowsoftlikeapeacheasyGodIwouldntmindbeingamanandgetuponalovelywomanOLordwhatarowyouremakinglikethejerseylilyeasyeasyOhowthewaterscomedownatLahorewhoknowsisthereanythingthematterwithmyinsidesorhaveIsomethinggrowinginmegettingthatthinglikethateveryweekwhenwasitlastIWhitMondayyesitsonlyabout3weeksIoughttogotothedoctoronlyitwouldbelikebeforeImarriedhimwhenIhadthatwhitethingcomingfrommeandFloeymademegotothatdryoldstickDrCollinsforwomensdiseasesonPembrokeroadyourvaginahecalleditIsupposethatshowhegotallthegiltmirrorsandcarpetsgettingroundthoserichonesoffStephensgreenrunninguptohimforeverylittlefiddlefaddlehervaginaandhercochinchinatheyvemoneyofcoursesotheyreallrightIwouldntmarryhimnotifhewasthelastmanintheworldbesidestheressomethingqueerabouttheirchildrenalwayssmellingaroundthosefilthybitchesallsidesaskingmeifwhatIdidhadanoffensiveodourwhatdidhewantmetodobuttheonethinggoldmaybewhataquestionifIsmathereditalloverhiswrinklyoldfaceforhimwithallmycomprimentsIsupposehedknowthenandcouldyoupassiteasilypasswhatIthoughthewastalkingabouttherockofGibraltarthewayheputitthatsaveryniceinventiontoobythewayonlyIlikelettingmyselfdownafterintheholeasfarasIcansqueezeandpullthechainthentoflushitnicecoolpinsandneedlesstilltheressomethinginitIsupposeIalwaysusedtoknowbyMillyswhenshewasachildwhethershehadwormsornotstillallthesamepayinghimforthathowmuchisthatdoctoroneguineapleaseandaskingmehadIfrequentomissionswheredothoseoldfellowsgetallthewordstheyhaveomissionswithhisshortsightedeyesonmecockedsidewaysIwouldnttrusthimtoofartogivemechloroformorGodknowswhatelsestillIlikedhimwhenhesatdowntowritethethingoutfrowningsoseverehisnoseintelligentlikethatyoubedamnedyoulyingstrapOanythingnomatterwhoexceptanidiothewascleverenoughtospotthatofcoursethatwasallthinkingofhimandhismadcrazylettersmyPreciousoneeverythingconnectedwithyourgloriousBodyeverythingunderlinedthatcomesfromitisathingofbeautyandofjoyforeversomethinghegotoutofsomenonsensicalbookthathehadmealwaysatmyself4and5timesadaysometimesandIsaidIhadntareyousureOyesIsaidIamquitesureinawaythatshuthimupIknewwhatwascomingnextonlynaturalweaknessitwasheexcitedmeIdontknowhowthefirstnighteverwemetwhenIwaslivinginRehobothterracewestoodstaringatoneanotherforaboutlominutesasifwemetsomewhereIsupposeonaccountofmybeingjewesslookingaftermymotherheusedtoamusemethethingshesaidwiththehalfslootheringsmileonhimandalltheDoylessaidhewasgoingtostandforamemberofParliamentOwasntIthebornfooltobelieveallhisblatherabouthomeruleandthelandleaguesendingmethatlongstroolofasongoutoftheHuguenotstosinginFrenchtobemoreclassyObeaupaysdelaTourainethatIneverevensangonceexplainingandrigmarolingaboutreligionandpersecutionhewontletyouenjoyanythingnaturallythenmightheasagreatfavourthevery1stopportunityhegotachanceinBrightonsquarerunningintomybedroompretendingtheinkgotonhishandstowashitoffwiththeAlbionmilkandsulphursoapIusedtouseandthegelatinestillrounditOIlaughedmyselfsickathimthatdayIbetternotmakeanalnightsittingonthisaffairtheyoughttomakechambersanaturalsizesothatawomancouldsitonitproperlyhekneelsdowntodoitIsupposethereisntinallcreationanothermanwiththehabitshehaslookatthewayhessleepingatthefootofthebedhowcanhewithoutahardbolsteritswellhedoesntkickorhemightknockoutallmyteethbreathingwithhishandonhisnoselikethatIndiangodhetookmetoshowonewetSundayinthemuseuminKildarestreetallyellowinapinaforelyingonhissideonhishandwithhistentoesstickingoutthathesaidwasabiggerreligionthanthejewsandOurLordsbothputtogetheralloverAsiaimitatinghimashesalwaysimitatingeverybodyIsupposeheusedtosleepatthefootofthebedtoowithhisbigsquarefeetupinhiswifesmouthdamnthisstinkingthinganywaywheresthisthosenapkinsareahyesIknowIhopetheoldpressdoesntcreakahIknewitwouldhessleepinghardhadagoodtimesomewherestillshemusthavegivenhimgreatvalueforhismoneyofcoursehehastopayforitfromherOthisnuisanceofathingIhopetheyllhavesomethingbetterforusintheotherworldtyingourselvesupGodhelpusthatsallrightfortonightnowthelumpyoldjinglybedalwaysremindsmeofoldCohenIsupposehescratchedhimselfinitoftenenoughandhethinksfatherboughtitfromLordNapierthatIusedtoadmirewhenIwasalittlegirlbecauseItoldhimeasypianoOIlikemybedGodhereweareasbadaseverafter16yearshowmanyhouseswereweinatallRaymondterraceandOntarioterraceandLombardstreetandHollesstreetandhegoesaboutwhistlingeverytimewereontherunagainhishuguenotsorthefrogsmarchpretendingtohelpthemenwithour4sticksoffurnitureandthentheCityArmshotelworseandworsesaysWardenDalythatcharmingplaceonthelandingalwayssomebodyinsideprayingthenleavingalltheirstinksafterthemalwaysknowwhowasintherelasteverytimewerejustgettingonrightsomethinghappensorheputshisbigfootinitThomsandHelysandMrCuffesandDrimmieseitherhesgoingtoberunintoprisonoverhisoldlotteryticketsthatwastobealloursalvationsorhegoesandgivesimpudencewellhavehimcominghomewiththesacksoonoutoftheFreemantooliketherestonaccountofthoseSinnerFeinorthefreemasonsthenwellseeifthelittlemanheshowedmedribblingalonginthewetallbyhimselfroundbyCoadyslanewillgivehimmuchconsolationthathesaysissocapableandsincerelyIrishheisindeedjudgingbythesincerityofthetrousersIsawonhimwaittheresGeorgeschurchbellswait3quartersthehourlwait2oclockwellthatsanicehourofthenightforhimtobecominghomeattoanybodyclimbingdownintotheareaifanybodysawhimIllknockhimoffthatlittlehabittomorrowfirstIlllookathisshirttoseeorIllseeifhehasthatFrenchletterstillinhispocketbookIsupposehethinksIdontknowdeceitfulmenalltheir20pocketsarentenoughfortheirliesthenwhyshouldwetellthemevenifitsthetruththeydontbelieveyouthentuckedupinbedlikethosebabiesintheAristocratsMasterpiecehebroughtmeanothertimeasifwehadntenoughofthatinreallifewithoutsomeoldAristocratorwhateverhisnameisdisgustingyoumorewiththoserottenpictureschildrenwithtwoheadsandnolegsthatsthekindofvillainytheyrealwaysdreamingaboutwithnotanotherthingintheiremptyheadstheyoughttogetslowpoisonthehalfofthemthenteaandtoastforhimbutteredonbothsidesandnewlaideggsIsupposeImnothinganymorewhenIwouldntlethimlickmeinHollesstreetonenightmanmantyrantaseverfortheonethinghesleptonthefloorhalfthenightnakedthewaythejewsusedwhensomebodydiesbelongedtothemandwouldnteatanybreakfastorspeakawordwantingtobepettedsoIthoughtIstoodoutenoughforonetimeandlethimhedoesitallwrongtoothinkingonlyofhisownpleasurehistongueistooflatorIdontknowwhatheforgetsthatwethenIdontIllmakehimdoitagainifhedoesntmindhimselfandlockhimdowntosleepinthecoalcellarwiththeblackbeetlesIwonderwasitherJosieoffherheadwithmycastoffshessuchabornliartoonohedneverhavethecouragewithamarriedwomanthatswhyhewantsmeandBoylanthoughasforherDenisasshecallshimthatforlornlookingspectacleyoucouldntcallhimahusbandyesitssomelittlebitchhesgotinwithevenwhenIwaswithhimwithMillyattheCollegeracesthatHornblowerwiththechildsbonnetonthetopofhisnobletusintobythebackwayhewasthrowinghissheepseyesatthosetwodoingskirtdutyupanddownItriedtowinkathimfirstnouseofcourseandthatsthewayhismoneygoesthisisthefruitsofMrPaddyDignamyestheywereallingreatstyleatthegrandfuneralinthepaperBoylanbroughtiniftheysawarealofficersfuneralthatdbesomethingreversedarmsmuffleddrumsthepoorhorsewalkingbehindinblackLBoomandTomKernanthatdrunkenlittlebarrellymanthatbithistongueofffallingdownthemensWCdrunkinsomeplaceorotherandMartinCunninghamandthetwoDedalusesandFannyMCoyshusbandwhiteheadofcabbageskinnythingwithaturninhereyetryingtosingmysongsshedwanttobebornalloveragainandheroldgreendresswiththelowneckasshecantattractthemanyotherwaylikedabblingonarainydayIseeitallnowplainlyandtheycallthatfriendshipkillingandthenburyingoneanotherandtheyallwiththeirwivesandfamiliesathomemoreespeciallyJackPowerkeepingthatbarmaidhedoesofcoursehiswifeisalwayssickorgoingtobesickorjustgettingbetterofitandhesagoodlookingmanstillthoughhesgettingabitgreyovertheearstheyreanicelotallofthemwelltheyrenotgoingtogetmyhusbandagainintotheirclutchesifIcanhelpitmakingfunofhimthenbehindhisbackIknowwellwhenhegoesonwithhisidioticsbecausehehassenseenoughnottosquandereverypennypieceheearnsdowntheirgulletsandlooksafterhiswifeandfamilygoodfornothingspoorPaddyDignamallthesameImsorryinawayforhimwhatarehiswifeand5childrengoingtodounlesshewasinsuredcomicallittleteetotumalwaysstuckupinsomepubcornerandherorhersonwaitingBillBaileywontyoupleasecomehomeherwidowsweedswontimproveherappearancetheyreawfullybecomingthoughifyouregoodlookingwhatmenwasntheyeshewasattheGlencreedinnerandBenDollardbasebarreltonethenightheborrowedtheswallowtailtosingoutofinHollesstreetsqueezedandsquashedintothemandgrinningalloverhisbigDollyfacelikeawellwhippedchildsbottydidnthelookabalmyballockssureenoughthatmusthavebeenaspectacleonthestageimaginepaying5inthepreservedseatsforthattoseehimtrottingoffinhistrowlersandSimonDedalustoohewasalwaysturninguphalfscrewedsingingthesecondversefirsttheoldloveisthenewwasoneofhissosweetlysangthemaidenonthehawthornboughhewasalwaysonforflirtyfyingtoowhenIsangMaritanawithhimatFreddyMayersprivateoperahehadadeliciousgloriousvoicePhoebedearestgoodbyesweetheartsweethearthealwayssangitnotlikeBartellDarcysweettartgoodbyeofcoursehehadthegiftofthevoicesotherewasnoartinitalloveryoulikeawarmshowerbathOMaritanawildwoodflowerwesangsplendidlythoughitwasabittoohighformyregistereventransposedandhewasmarriedatthetimetoMayGouldingbutthenhedsayordosomethingtoknockthegoodoutofithesawidowernowIwonderwhatsortishissonhesayshesanauthorandgoingtobeauniversityprofessorofItalianandImtotakelessonswhatishedrivingatnowshowinghimmyphotoitsnotgoodofmeIoughttohavegotittakenindraperythatneverlooksoutoffashionstillIlookyounginitIwonderhedidntmakehimapresentofitaltogetherandmetooafterallwhynotIsawhimdrivingdowntotheKingsbridgestationwithhisfatherandmotherIwasinmourningthats11yearsagonowyeshedbe11thoughwhatwasthegoodingoingintomourningforwhatwasneitheronethingnortheotherthefirstcrywasenoughformeIheardthedeathwatchtootickinginthewallofcourseheinsistedhedgointomourningforthecatIsupposehesamannowbythistimehewasaninnocentboythenandadarlinglittlefellowinhislordFauntleroysuitandcurlyhairlikeaprinceonthestagewhenIsawhimatMatDillonshelikedmetooIremembertheyalldowaitbyGodyeswaityesholdonhewasonthecardsthismorningwhenIlaidoutthedeckunionwithayoungstrangerneitherdarknorfairyoumetbeforeIthoughtitmeanthimbuthesnochickennorastrangereitherbesidesmyfacewasturnedtheotherwaywhatwasthe7thcardafterthatthe10ofspadesforajourneybylandthentherewasaletteronitswayandscandalstoothe3queensandthe8ofdiamondsforariseinsocietyyeswaititallcameoutand2red8sfornewgarmentslookatthatanddidntIdreamsomethingtooyestherewassomethingaboutpoetryinitIhopehehasntlonggreasyhairhangingintohiseyesorstandinguplikearedIndianwhatdotheygoaboutlikethatforonlygettingthemselvesandtheirpoetrylaughedatIalwayslikedpoetrywhenIwasagirlfirstIthoughthewasapoetlikelordByronandnotanounceofitinhiscompositionIthoughthewasquitedifferentIwonderishetooyounghesaboutwait88Iwasmarried88Millyis15yesterday89whatagewashethenatDillons5or6about88Isupposehes20ormoreImnottoooldforhimifhes23or24IhopehesnotthatstuckupuniversitystudentsortnootherwisehewouldntgosittingdownintheoldkitchenwithhimtakingEppsscocoaandtalkingofcoursehepretendedtounderstanditallprobablyhetoldhimhewasoutofTrinitycollegehesveryyoungtobeaprofessorIhopehesnotaprofessorlikeGoodwinwashewasapotentprofessorofJohnJamesontheyallwriteaboutsomewomanintheirpoetrywellIsupposehewontfindmanylikemewheresoftlysighsoflovethelightguitarwherepoetryisintheairtheblueseaandthemoonshiningsobeautifullycomingbackonthenightboatfromTarifathelighthouseatEuropapointtheguitarthatfellowplayedwassoexpressivewillIevergobackthereagainallnewfacestwoglancingeyesalatticehidIllsingthatforhimtheyremyeyesifhesanythingofapoettwoeyesasdarklybrightaslovesownstararentthosebeautifulwordsaslovesyoungstaritllbeachangetheLordknowstohaveanintelligentpersontotalktoaboutyourselfnotalwayslisteningtohimandBillyPrescottsadandKeyessadandTomtheDevilsadthenifanythinggoeswrongintheirbusinesswehavetosufferImsurehesverydistinguishedIdliketomeetamanlikethatGodnotthoseotherruckbesideshesyoungthosefineyoungmenIcouldseedowninMargatestrandbathingplacefromthesideoftherockstandingupinthesunnakedlikeaGodorsomethingandthenplungingintotheseawiththemwhyarentallmenlikethattheredbesomeconsolationforawomanlikethatlovelylittlestatueheboughtIcouldlookathimalldaylongcurlyheadandhisshouldershisfingerupforyoutolistentheresrealbeautyandpoetryforyouIoftenfeltIwantedtokisshimalloveralsohislovelyyoungcocktheresosimpleIwouldntmindtakinghiminmymouthifnobodywaslookingasifitwasaskingyoutosuckitsocleanandwhitehelookswithhisboyishfaceIwouldtooin12aminuteevenifsomeofitwentdownwhatitsonlylikegruelorthedewtheresnodangerbesideshedbesocleancomparedwiththosepigsofmenIsupposeneverdreamofwashingitfromIyearsendtotheotherthemostofthemonlythatswhatgivesthewomenthemoustachesImsureitllbegrandifIcanonlygetinwithahandsomeyoungpoetatmyageIllthrowthemthe1stthinginthemorningtillIseeifthewishcardcomesoutorIlltrypairingtheladyherselfandseeifhecomesoutIllreadandstudyallIcanfindorlearnabitoffbyheartifIknewwhohelikessohewontthinkmestupidifhethinksallwomenarethesameandIcanteachhimtheotherpartIllmakehimfeelalloverhimtillhehalffaintsundermethenhellwriteaboutmeloverandmistresspubliclytoowithour2photographsinallthepaperswhenhebecomesfamousObutthenwhatamIgoingtodoabouthimthoughnothatsnowayforhimhashenomannersnornorefinementnornonothinginhisnatureslappingusbehindlikethatonmybottombecauseIdidntcallhimHughtheignoramusthatdoesntknowpoetryfromacabbagethatswhatyougetfornotkeepingthemintheirproperplacepullingoffhisshoesandtrousersthereonthechairbeforemesobarefacedwithoutevenaskingpermissionandstandingoutthatvulgarwayinthehalfofashirttheyweartobeadmiredlikeapriestorabutcherorthoseoldhypocritesinthetimeofJuliusCaesarofcoursehesrightenoughinhiswaytopassthetimeasajokesureyoumightaswellbeinbedwithwhatwithalionGodImsurehedhavesomethingbettertosayforhimselfanoldLionwouldOwellIsupposeitsbecausetheyweresoplumpandtemptinginmyshortpetticoathecouldntresisttheyexcitemyselfsometimesitswellformenalltheamountofpleasuretheygetoffawomansbodyweresoroundandwhiteforthemalwaysIwishedIwasonemyselfforachangejusttotrywiththatthingtheyhaveswellinguponyousohardandatthesametimesosoftwhenyoutouchitmyuncleJohnhasathinglongIheardthosecornerboyssayingpassingthecomerofMarrowbonelanemyauntMaryhasathinghairybecauseitwasdarkandtheyknewagirlwaspassingitdidntmakemeblushwhyshoulditeitheritsonlynatureandheputshisthinglongintomyauntMaryshairyetceteraandturnsouttobeyouputthehandleinasweepingbrushmenagainallovertheycanpickandchoosewhattheypleaseamarriedwomanorafastwidoworagirlfortheirdifferenttasteslikethosehousesroundbehindIrishstreetnobutweretobealwayschaineduptheyrenotgoingtobechainingmeupnodamnfearonceIstartItellyoufortheirstupidhusbandsjealousywhycantweallremainfriendsoveritinsteadofquarrellingherhusbandfounditoutwhattheydidtogetherwellnaturallyandifhedidcanheundoithescoronadoanywaywhateverhedoesandthenhegoingtotheothermadextremeaboutthewifeinFairTyrantsofcoursethemanneverevencastsa2ndthoughtonthehusbandorwifeeitheritsthewomanhewantsandhegetsherwhatelsewerewegivenallthosedesiresforIdliketoknowIcanthelpitifImyoungstillcanIitsawonderImnotanoldshrivelledhagbeforemytimelivingwithhimsocoldneverembracingmeexceptsometimeswhenhesasleepthewrongendofmenotknowingIsupposewhohehasanymanthatdkissawomansbottomIdthrowmyhatathimafterthathedkissanythingunnaturalwherewehaventIatomofanykindofexpressioninusallofusthesame2lumpsoflardbeforeeverIddothattoamanpfoohthedirtybrutesthemerethoughtisenoughIkissthefeetofyousenoritatheressomesenseinthatdidnthekissourhalldooryeshedidwhatamadmannobodyunderstandshiscrackedideasbutmestillofcourseawomanwantstobeembraced20timesadayalmosttomakeherlookyoungnomatterbywhosolongastobeinloveorlovedbysomebodyifthefellowyouwantisnttheresometimesbytheLordGodIwasthinkingwouldIgoaroundbythequaystheresomedarkeveningwherenobodydknowmeandpickupasailorofftheseathatdbehotonforitandnotcareapinwhoseIwasonlydoitoffupinagatesomewhereoroneofthosewildlookinggipsiesinRathfarnhamhadtheircamppitchedneartheBloomfieldlaundrytotryandstealourthingsiftheycouldIonlysentminethereafewtimesforthenamemodellaundrysendingmebackoverandoversomeoldonesoddstockingsthatblackguardlookingfellowwiththefineeyespeelingaswitchattackmeinthedarkandridemeupagainstthewallwithoutawordoramurdereranybodywhattheydothemselvesthefinegentlemenintheirsilkhatsthatKClivesupsomewherethiswaycomingoutofHardwickelanethenighthegaveusthefishsupperonaccountofwinningovertheboxingmatchofcourseitwasformehegaveitIknewhimbyhisgaitersandthewalkandwhenIturnedroundaminuteafterjusttoseetherewasawomanaftercomingoutofittoosomefilthyprostitutethenhegoeshometohiswifeafterthatonlyIsupposethehalfofthosesailorsarerottenagainwithdiseaseOmoveoveryourbigcarcassoutofthatfortheloveofMikelistentohimthewindsthatwaftmysighstotheesowellhemaysleepandsighthegreatSuggesterDonPoldodelaFloraifheknewhowhecameoutonthecardsthismorninghedhavesomethingtosighforadarkmaninsomeperplexitybetween27stooinprisonforLordknowswhathedoesthatIdontknowandImtobesloochingarounddowninthekitchentogethislordshiphisbreakfastwhilehesrolleduplikeamummywillIindeeddidyoueverseemerunningIdjustliketoseemyselfatitshowthemattentionandtheytreatyoulikedirtIdontcarewhatanybodysaysitdbemuchbetterfortheworldtobegovernedbythewomeninityouwouldntseewomengoingandkillingoneanotherandslaughteringwhendoyoueverseewomenrollingarounddrunkliketheydoorgamblingeverypennytheyhaveandlosingitonhorsesyesbecauseawomanwhatevershedoessheknowswheretostopsuretheywouldntbeintheworldatallonlyforustheydontknowwhatitistobeawomanandamotherhowcouldtheywherewouldtheyallofthembeiftheyhadntallamothertolookafterthemwhatIneverhadthatswhyIsupposehesrunningwildnowoutatnightawayfromhisbooksandstudiesandnotlivingathomeonaccountoftheusualrowyhouseIsupposewellitsapoorcasethatthosethathaveafinesonlikethattheyrenotsatisfiedandInonewashenotabletomakeoneitwasntmyfaultwecametogetherwhenIwaswatchingthetwodogsupinherbehindinthemiddleofthenakedstreetthatdisheartenedmealtogetherIsupposeIoughtnttohaveburiedhiminthatlittlewoollyjacketIknittedcryingasIwasbutgiveittosomepoorchildbutIknewwellIdneverhaveanotherour1stdeathtooitwaswewereneverthesamesinceOImnotgoingtothinkmyselfintothegloomsaboutthatanymoreIwonderwhyhewouldntstaythenightIfeltallthetimeitwassomebodystrangehebroughtininsteadofrovingaroundthecitymeetingGodknowswhonightwalkersandpickpocketshispoormotherwouldntlikethatifshewasaliveruininghimselfforlifeperhapsstillitsalovelyhoursosilentIusedtolovecominghomeafterdancestheairofthenighttheyhavefriendstheycantalktowevenoneeitherhewantswhathewontgetoritssomewomanreadytostickherknifeinyouIhatethatinwomennowondertheytreatusthewaytheydoweareadreadfullotofbitchesIsupposeitsallthetroubleswehavemakesussosnappyImnotlikethathecouldeasyhavesleptinthereonthesofaintheotherroomIsupposehewasasshyasaboyhebeingsoyounghardly20ofmeinthenextroomhedhaveheardmeonthechamberarrahwhatharmDedalusIwonderitslikethosenamesinGibraltarDelapazDelagraciatheyhadthedevilsqueernamestherefatherVilaplanaofSantaMariathatgavemetherosaryRosalesyOReillyintheCallelasSieteRevueltasandPisimboandMrsOpissoinGovernorstreetOwhatanameIdgoanddrownmyselfinthefirstriverifIhadanamelikeherOmyandallthebitsofstreetsParadiserampandBedlamrampandRodgersrampandCrutchettsrampandthedevilsgapstepswellsmallblametomeifIamaharumscarumIknowIamabitIdeclaretoGodIdontfeeladayolderthanthenIwondercouldIgetmytongueroundanyoftheSpanishcomoestaustedmuybiengraciasyustedseeIhaventforgottenitallIthoughtIhadonlyforthegrammaranounisthenameofanypersonplaceorthingpityInevertriedtoreadthatnovelcantankerousMrsRubiolentmebyValerawiththequestionsinitallupsidedownthetwowaysIalwaysknewwedgoawayintheendIcantellhimtheSpanishandhetellmetheItalianthenhellseeImnotsoignorantwhatapityhedidntstayImsurethepoorfellowwasdeadtiredandwantedagoodsleepbadlyIcouldhavebroughthiminhisbreakfastinbedwithabitoftoastsolongasIdidntdoitontheknifeforbadluckorifthewomanwasgoingherroundswiththewatercressandsomethingniceandtastythereareafewolivesinthekitchenhemightlikeInevercouldbearthelookoftheminAbrinesIcoulddothecriadatheroomlooksallrightsinceIchangedittheotherwayyouseesomethingwastellingmeallthetimeIdhavetointroducemyselfnotknowingmefromAdamveryfunnywouldntitImhiswifeorpretendwewereinSpainwithhimhalfawakewithoutaGodsnotionwhereheisdoshuevosestrelladossenorLordthecrackedthingscomeintomyheadsometimesitdbegreatfunsupposinghestayedwithuswhynottherestheroomupstairsemptyandMillysbedinthebackroomhecoulddohiswritingandstudiesatthetableinthereforallthescribblinghedoesatitandifhewantstoreadinbedinthemorninglikemeashesmakingthebreakfastforIhecanmakeitfor2ImsureImnotgoingtotakeinlodgersoffthestreetforhimifhetakesagesaboofahouselikethisIdlovetohavealongtalkwithanintelligentwelleducatedpersonIdhavetogetanicepairofredslipperslikethoseTurkswiththefezusedtoselloryellowandanicesemitransparentmorninggownthatIbadlywantorapeachblossomdressingjacketliketheonelongagoinWalpolesonly86or186IlljustgivehimonemorechanceIllgetupearlyinthemorningImsickofCohensoldbedinanycaseImightgoovertothemarketstoseeallthevegetablesandcabbagesandtomatoesandcarrotsandallkindsofsplendidfruitsallcominginlovelyandfreshwhoknowswhodbethe1stmanIdmeettheyreoutlookingforitinthemorningMamyDillonusedtosaytheyareandthenighttoothatwashermassgoingIdloveabigjuicypearnowtomeltinyourmouthlikewhenIusedtobeinthelongingwaythenIllthrowhimuphiseggsandteainthemoustachecupshegavehimtomakehismouthbiggerIsupposehedlikemynicecreamtooIknowwhatIlldoIllgoaboutrathergaynottoomuchsingingabitnowandthenmifapietaMasettothenIllstartdressingmyselftogooutprestononsonpiuforteIllputonmybestshiftanddrawerslethimhaveagoodeyefuloutofthattomakehismickystandforhimIlllethimknowifthatswhathewantedthathiswifeisIslofuckedyesanddamnwellfuckedtoouptomynecknearlynotbyhim5or6timeshandrunningtheresthemarkofhisspunkonthecleansheetIwouldntbothertoevenironitoutthatoughttosatisfyhimifyoudontbelievemefeelmybellyunlessImadehimstandthereandputhimintomeIveamindtotellhimeveryscrapandmakehimdoitoutinfrontofmeservehimrightitsallhisownfaultifIamanadulteressasthethinginthegallerysaidOmuchaboutitifthatsalltheharmeverwedidinthisvaleoftearsGodknowsitsnotmuchdoesnteverybodyonlytheyhideitIsupposethatswhatawomanissupposedtobetherefororHewouldnthavemadeusthewayHedidsoattractivetomenthenifhewantstokissmybottomIlldragopenmydrawersandbulgeitrightoutinhisfaceaslargeaslifehecanstickhistongue7milesupmyholeashestheremybrownpartthenIlltellhimIwantLIorperhaps30IlltellhimIwanttobuyunderclothesthenifhegivesmethatwellhewontbetoobadIdontwanttosoakitalloutofhimlikeotherwomendoIcouldoftenhavewrittenoutafinechequeformyselfandwritehisnameonitforacoupleofpoundsafewtimesheforgottolockitupbesideshewontspenditIlllethimdoitoffonmebehindprovidedhedoesntsmearallmygooddrawersOIsupposethatcantbehelpedIlldotheindifferentlor2questionsIllknowbytheanswerswhenheslikethathecantkeepathingbackIknoweveryturninhimIlltightenmybottomwellandletoutafewsmuttywordssmellrumporlickmyshitorthefirstmadthingcomesintomyheadthenIllsuggestaboutyesOwaitnowsonnymyturniscomingIllbequitegayandfriendlyoveritObutIwasforgettingthisbloodypestofathingpfoohyouwouldntknowwhichtolaughorcryweresuchamixtureofplumandapplenoIllhavetoweartheoldthingssomuchthebetteritllbemorepointedhellneverknowwhetherhediditornottherethatsgoodenoughforyouanyoldthingatallthenIllwipehimoffmejustlikeabusinesshisomissionthenIllgooutIllhavehimeyingupattheceilingwhereisshegonenowmakehimwantmethatstheonlywayaquarterafterwhatanunearthlyhourIsupposetheyrejustgettingupinChinanowcombingouttheirpigtailsforthedaywellsoonhavethenunsringingtheangelustheyvenobodycomingintospoiltheirsleepexceptanoddpriestortwoforhisnightofficeorthealarmclocknextdooratcockshoutclatteringthebrainsoutofitselfletmeseeifIcandozeoff12345whatkindofflowersarethosetheyinventedlikethestarsthewallpaperinLombardstreetwasmuchnicertheapronhegavemewaslikethatsomethingonlyIonlyworeittwicebetterlowerthislampandtryagainsoasIcangetupearlyIllgotoLambestherebesideFindlatersandgetthemtosendussomeflowerstoputabouttheplaceincasehebringshimhometomorrowtodayImeannonoFridaysanunluckydayfirstIwanttodotheplaceupsomewaythedustgrowsinitIthinkwhileImasleepthenwecanhavemusicandcigarettesIcanaccompanyhimfirstImustcleanthekeysofthepianowithmilkwhatllIwearshallIwearawhiteroseorthosefairycakesinLiptonsIlovethesmellofarichbigshopat712dalbortheotheroneswiththecherriesinthemandthepinkysugarIIdacoupleoflbsofthoseaniceplantforthemiddleofthetableIdgetthatcheaperinwaitwheresthisIsawthemnotlongagoIloveflowersIdlovetohavethewholeplaceswimminginrosesGodofheaventheresnothinglikenaturethewildmountainsthentheseaandthewavesrushingthenthebeautifulcountrywiththefieldsofoatsandwheatandallkindsofthingsandallthefinecattlegoingaboutthatwoulddoyourheartgoodtoseeriversandlakesandflowersallsortsofshapesandsmellsandcoloursspringingupevenoutoftheditchesprimrosesandvioletsnatureitisasforthemsayingtheresnoGodIwouldntgiveasnapofmytwofingersforalltheirlearningwhydonttheygoandcreatesomethingIoftenaskedhimatheistsorwhatevertheycallthemselvesgoandwashthecobblesoffthemselvesfirstthentheygohowlingforthepriestandtheydyingandwhywhybecausetheyreafraidofhellonaccountoftheirbadconscienceahyesIknowthemwellwhowasthefirstpersonintheuniversebeforetherewasanybodythatmadeitallwhoahthattheydontknowneitherdoIsothereyouaretheymightaswelltrytostopthesunfromrisingtomorrowthesunshinesforyouhesaidthedaywewerelyingamongtherhododendronsonHowthheadinthegreytweedsuitandhisstrawhatthedayIgothimtoproposetomeyesfirstIgavehimthebitofseedcakeoutofmymouthanditwasleapyearlikenowyes16yearsagomyGodafterthatlongkissInearlostmybreathyeshesaidIwasaflowerofthemountainyessoweareflowersallawomansbodyyesthatwasonetruethinghesaidinhislifeandthesunshinesforyoutodayyesthatwaswhyIlikedhimbecauseIsawheunderstoodorfeltwhatawomanisandIknewIcouldalwaysgetroundhimandIgavehimallthepleasureIcouldleadinghimontillheaskedmetosayyesandIwouldntanswerfirstonlylookedoutovertheseaandtheskyIwasthinkingofsomanythingshedidntknowofMulveyandMrStanhopeandHesterandfatherandoldcaptainGrovesandthesailorsplayingallbirdsflyandIsaystoopandwashingupdishestheycalleditonthepierandthesentryinfrontofthegovernorshousewiththethingroundhiswhitehelmetpoordevilhalfroastedandtheSpanishgirlslaughingintheirshawlsandtheirtallcombsandtheauctionsinthemorningtheGreeksandthejewsandtheArabsandthedevilknowswhoelsefromalltheendsofEuropeandDukestreetandthefowlmarketallcluckingoutsideLarbySharonsandthepoordonkeysslippinghalfasleepandthevaguefellowsinthecloaksasleepintheshadeonthestepsandthebigwheelsofthecartsofthebullsandtheoldcastlethousandsofyearsoldyesandthosehandsomeMoorsallinwhiteandturbanslikekingsaskingyoutositdownintheirlittlebitofashopandRondawiththeoldwindowsoftheposadas2glancingeyesalatticehidforherlovertokisstheironandthewineshopshalfopenatnightandthecastanetsandthenightwemissedtheboatatAlgecirasthewatchmangoingaboutserenewithhislampandOthatawfuldeepdowntorrentOandtheseatheseacrimsonsometimeslikefireandtheglorioussunsetsandthefigtreesintheAlamedagardensyesandallthequeerlittlestreetsandthepinkandblueandyellowhousesandtherosegardensandthejessamineandgeraniumsandcactusesandGibraltarasagirlwhereIwasaFlowerofthemountainyeswhenIputtheroseinmyhairliketheAndalusiangirlsusedorshallIweararedyesandhowhekissedmeundertheMoorishwallandIthoughtwellaswellhimasanotherandthenIaskedhimwithmyeyestoaskagainyesandthenheaskedmewouldIyestosayyesmymountainflowerandfirstIputmyarmsaroundhimyesanddrewhimdowntomesohecouldfeelmybreastsallperfumeyesandhisheartwasgoinglikemadandyesIsaidyesIwillYes\00"
@.str.4 = [45 x i8] c"The longest sentence is %d characters long.\0A\00"
@str = [50 x i8] c"Wait... no... that's the SIZE of a long int in C.\00"
define i32 @main() {
%1 = tail call i32 (i8*, ...) @printf(i8* dereferenceable(1) getelementptr inbounds ([20 x i8], [20 x i8]* @.str, i64 0, i64 0), i64 29)
%2 = tail call i32 @puts(i8* dereferenceable(1) getelementptr inbounds ([50 x i8], [50 x i8]* @str, i64 0, i64 0))
%3 = tail call i32 (i8*, ...) @printf(i8* dereferenceable(1) getelementptr inbounds ([20 x i8], [20 x i8]* @.str, i64 0, i64 0), i64 29)
%4 = tail call i32 @strlen(i8* getelementptr inbounds ([50689 x i8], [50689 x i8]* @.str.3, i64 0, i64 0))
%5 = tail call i32 (i8*, ...) @printf(i8* dereferenceable(1) getelementptr inbounds ([45 x i8], [45 x i8]* @.str.4, i64 0, i64 0), i32 %4)
ret i32 0
}