Prompt:
I (16M) don't want kids. Not because I don't want to care them but it's more of something to do with my own mother in particular. In general, she's alright but when she gets angry (which is like most of the time) she can say some things no mother should be saying to her child.

I had it tough since I could remember. Whenever I done something wrong, she'd call me names and sometimes even say right to my face that she wishes I wasn't born or that she "struggles to see how any girl would love me". Maybe she was just stressed out, I don't know.

And then there were those times where she just made marriage (or any relationship) seem like a tough and torturous thing to do. Not directly, but indirectly by arguing a lot with Dad, saying "I wish I could go back", which I remember hurt Dad and myself a lot that day. Stuff like that.

Over time and a lot of thought, I've decided to not have kids. It sure seems stressful, right? I made that known to my mother when she went on another one of her usual bursts of rage at me. She brought up "I don't know how your wife will handle you." to which I said "Fine, I'm not planning to have kids anyway."

She didn't expect that and was taken aback. My parents are traditional so being a grandparent is sort of an expectation to them. A desire. I let her know of all the stuff she's said and that **she's** the reason why I don't want to have any offspring or be involved in any relationship whatsoever. It looks complicated. She's **not** going to be a grandmother. I'm perfectly fine having only myself as my priority.

To my surprise, she nearly cried and didn't say anything after that. My dad didn't do anything about it either. As abusive as my mum can get, it still pains me to see her so down and I'm wondering if what I said was selfish and quite stupid.

Am I the asshole for putting all the blame on her? ######

Response: NTA. all her snide remarks have made their impact on you over time and i think that realization that she is the reason she's not getting the grandkids she may be desiring hit her in the face like a brick. ######


Prompt:
For context. In 2006, when I was 8, my dad begun an affair with the mother of my best friend, who we’ll call Alison. My mum found out because of something I had said about them spending time together and filed for divorce some time after. My dad moved in with this woman, and although I still saw him three times a week, i was absolutely devastated because I felt he had left me. 2 years after he left, my dad died, creating a massive rift in my life.

Despite my dads will declaring he wanted to leave everything to me and my brothers, Alison practically demanded she keep everything and because my mum was so wrapped up in her own grief, and mine and my brothers, she gave up fighting it. She also paid off the life insurance on the house my dad and Alison had bought, because Alison asked her too. Also, despite my mum paying for the entire funeral cost, Alison planned the entire thing alone, and went against his wishes, we now have no headstone or grave as a result and that kills me every day. My entire family despises Alison, she stressed my dad out a lot and the doctors believed stress contributed to the heart attack which killed him.

Yesterday I was in the local supermarket and saw her, with her daughters. I tried avoiding eye contact with her as I do every time I see her, but instead of just leaving like she usually does when we run into eachother, she came over and tried to talk to me. I just said “not a chance this is happening” and turned around and walked away.

I do feel bad about the encounter as I never intend on being rude but she taunted me with my dads death for years, and a lot of the trauma I have experienced is because of her so I struggle allowing myself to feel bad.

AITA for ignoring her? ######

Response: NTA. Alison has disrespected you, your family and your grief. She doesn't deserve your friendship or recognition. ######


Prompt:
Me and my fiancé live in small neighborhood and we have three dogs. We’ve never really been friendly with our across the street neighbors, apart from the occasional smile and wave when we see them outside.

Last night they did fireworks for about 2 or 3 hours in the road in front of their yard. Me and my fiancé sat on our porch and watch for a bit before quickly realizing they were shooting them directly at our house. A piece of debris landed less than a foot in front of my fiancé . We literally HEARD THEM acknowledge that they were landing in our yard, so we just assumed that they would pick them up when finished. We ended up going inside because everything was landing too close for comfort.

When I got off work today I found that they had completely cleaned up THEIR yard, but our yard was full of trash. There were at least 6 bottle rockets spread from the front yard, across the porch, and the backyard. 5-6 smoke bombs had been rolled into our yard. Multiple pieces of debris and leftover pieces with gunpowder scattered across our yard. We have three dogs, one of which has already had an exploratory surgery for eating garbage. Any of those things easily could have killed our dogs. I was livid.

I grabbed a grocery bag and picked up all the trash out of my yard (half a grocery bag full of garbage ), stapled a note to it, and placed it back in their yard next to the trash bags of their trash. The note read:

“Please do not shoot fireworks into our yard and then leave your trash. Our dogs could get seriously sick if they are any of this. This is all trash I picked up out of my yard from your fireworks. Next time aim them at your own house or pick up your trash when finished. Thank you”.

They ripped the note off , crumbled it up and shoved it into our mailbox.

Am I the asshole here? I mean I’ll admit it’s petty, but it’s pretty trashy (no pun intended ) to leave your neighbors yard full of trash.

For clarification: these were the neighbors across the street. ######

Response: NTA. Aiming fireworks into someone else's property is SO dangerous. ######


Prompt:
Me and my mom have an okay relationship. My adopted sister 15 is a horrible person and is just terrible to be around. I tried to consider her family at one point tried to involve her in activities with my friends I am a 16 year old boy. I tried to do things that a brother normally would or what I thought would be a brother and sister relationship.

My half sister today took my game console without my permission and snapped it into two. This handheld console is a game console I got from my grandma as a birthday gift. I screamed loudly and yelled at her to go away. She called me a sexist whore for not sharing the console. My mom came in and sided with my sister.

Told me to apologize for being sexist and mean to my adopted sister for not sharing and not taking her places like a brother. I yelled at my mom telling my sister she is not considered part of my family and that she is just a piece of shit lying on the ground.

My mom told me I am grounded for being mean. I then called my dad to pick me up.(They are divorced). I went to dads house. My mom harasser me by calling a lot and I refused to pick her up and blocked her on the phone. I might have been an asshole for saying mean things to my sister and yelling at my mom. ######

Response: NTA. After reading the comments you’re better off at your dad’s. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé and I have been together for 5 years. She has always told me that she hates her name. I’m going to use a fake name here for obvious reasons, but it’s similar, for example it’s something like her name is Kathryn and she goes by Katie. She chooses to go by “Katie” (or the real shorter version of her name) because to her it is the best version of her name. She detests her full name purely because it sounds “grandmaish” to her and she wishes it was something else.

Katie has always been a dancer and a couple of years ago, she got into burlesque dancing. She started entering amateur competitions and goes to conventions as well. I support her doing so, it’s a fun hobby for her. A part of her being in the burlesque community is having a stage name. She chose to go by “Gypsy” during her shows and yes, that is really what she chose, not making it up. For the first year she just used it for shows but then slowly started using it in her every day life. She changed her Instagram name to reflect that and then changed her name badge at work, followed by her FB profile.

Around NYE’s she asked everyone in her life, me included, to start calling her Gypsy. I said no.  I think it’s a fine nickname but it’s not her name. I further said that expecting everyone to call her something else was ridiculous when we all knew her as “Katie” and she needed to leave her Burlesque persona on the stage. I also pointed out in some communities her name was considered a slur and she needed to rethink it. She got upset and said it was her name, she could change it.

Most of our friends call her “Gypsy” now, but her family and I still call her Katie. Recently, she posted a long rant on Instagram about her name change not being respected. Keep in mind, she didn’t legally change her name. She got some backlash from her community, telling her to keep her persona on stage, some said I and her family were assholes. Am I being an ass here? ######

Response: NTA. Actually, that term is a slur used against the Romani people, so it's not an appropriate name for her to use ######


Prompt:
Post ahead so get in.

Backstory: I am the oldest out of 5 and have graduated high school and moved from my state to go to college. My family is no strangers to drug and alcohol use, one of the family members was selling drugs for a long time but got arrested for getting caught. My parents were drug addicts and my father is an alcoholic.

Now i dont use drugs or drink [I'm 19] and I'm very proud of that life. I dont care for alcohol and I've tried to smoke weed but didnt like the side effects. However who I am concerned about is my little sister [L for the sake of the story]

L is 15 years old and lives with my grandparents. She has been smoking weed since she was 13, and has started to drink not soon after. She posts constantly on social media with her smoking out of her bong, drinking vodka, and posts like "I miss the homies and the drugs". She talks to me about it nonchalant, and I can't help but worry a bit.

I've brought it up to my parents and they arent doing anything, and I also mentioned it to my Grandparents [her legal guardians] my concerns. My grandparents arent the best people but they just dont seem to care and say "Its her life, let her do what she pleases" and usually they tell L that I mentioned telling them and she blows up, sending vulgar texts and telling me to "Stay in my lane"

She recently had posted that she was going to try Acid and I am contemplating her texts reporting it to Child Services, as this is child neglect in my mind and I dont want her to slowly drift towards other drugs.

Edit:I have been expressing my concerns for her numerous times and I have been explaining how this can affect her brain and shes like "You cant tell me what to do." I've tried to talk to her. I've tried to voice concern with the family, and they don't budge.

 Reddit, would I be the Asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA. Actually, I think you might be an asshole if you DON'T report this. No other adults in this child's life are stepping up, and it's truly honorable that you are trying to.

Please be aware though, that this will cause a massive rift in your family. They may suspect that you reported, and there could be significant fallout. I wish you the best, and I'm proud of you for looking out for your sister, even if she won't see it that way. ######


Prompt:
We were stuck in line for a half hour to get into a store and he wouldn’t stop looking over at the pretty woman in a super short dress reading a book called “sex and rage.” He made multiple comments about her book but it was very clear he was looking at her sexually - she was very pretty and showing a lot of skin (no hate, just fact).

WIBTA if I told my bf that that made me uncomfortable today that it was so blatant and for so long and even commented on? I mentioned in line he kept staring and he didn’t say anything in response but I don’t see him responding to this well since he’s not very empathetic or emotionally mature. ######

Response: NTA. actually I encourage it. It’s very disrespectful of both her and you, actually. He’s not a child and can control himself. ######


Prompt:
Tl;dr: My private garden was partially destroyed by a landscaper not even hired by my landlord. WIBTA if I called to complain

Okay for some context: I live in the UK in a private flat in a building of council flats (these are low income/free housing provided by the local authority). Each flat has a designated section of garden. So my partner and I have a large portion of the green that we maintain and care for.

I have a greenhouse and planters and all sorts of vegetables growing. I recently transplanted my zucchini plants into the earth. I didn't bother blocking any of it off or anything because that area is only maintained by myself and my partner; we knew which plants were which.

So for the first time in the year we have lived here, the city council sends someone around to cut the grass for the other gardens. The landscaper knocks on our door and determines which sections are ours and which aren't. He then proceeds to *only* cut ours and kills all of my flowering zucchini plants with a strimmer.

I am brand new to gardening. I haven't been able to work thanks to the pandemic and have been coping in part by gardening. I spent the last month and a half to two months nurturing those plants. And surely, a landscaper should be able to tell if something is a vegetable plant and not a weed??

So reddit, WIBTA if I contacted the landscaping company to complain?

Edit: I have also just noticed that he has decimated some flowering bulbs I planted earlier this year, too. ######

Response: NTA. Absolutely make a complaint. That’s some rude nonsense there ######


Prompt:
I was scrolling through the hub, when I saw this video that caught my attention. When I clicked on the video and saw the face, I was surprised. This person looked exactly like my friend from university. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions because it would be mad weird if I came up to her and said I saw her in this video and it wasn’t her. So, I wanted to make sure. I looked at photos of my friend and it was a legit match, there is no way that it is not her. Same everything. Key features that my friend has, that the girl in the video has. As she is my friend, I know she would never post something like this on the internet. Plus, from prior conversations, I know she is not dating the dude that was in the video. I looked at the profile that posted it and it looks like the guy is posting all his escapades for the world to see. Knowing her background and career goals, if this video were to spread, it could cause some serious problems for her in the future. I would feel gutted knowing that I could at least said something. I rather be safe than sorry. I talked to my cousin that doesn’t know her and asked for some advice because I want to have a sit down conversation with her. My cousin said I would be an Asshole because I’m putting myself into business that isn’t mine. My cousin says I should just leave it alone. I can agree that it comes off as weird. However, with all the stories I hear with people having “revenge videos” leaked of them, I don’t feel comfortable sitting by knowing this could happen to my friend. What should I do? Am I the Asshole? Thank you for the advice.

TLDR: Found a video of my friend “doing the do” on the internet. Cousin says I’m an Asshole if I let her know. I just want to make sure my friend is protected. ######

Response: NTA. Absolutely let her know. Sounds like a crime has been committed and if you're pretty sure she wouldn't have allowed it to be posted then she needs to know ASAP. ######


Prompt:
 For context: My SIL and her baby-daddy are living with her parents. For a few days she kicked out her baby-daddy because of his late night perusing, as she'd put it. Then her mom filled me and my hubby in that he'd actually been cheating on her with another woman from church, and later MIL told us that she'd actually found that he'd been using their daughter's blankets and clothes as cumrags.

Deeply disturbed, my hubby and I spoke to a therapist about the whole situation, and the therapist ended up calling cps. They're doing an investigation and baby-daddy has to leave the house for the duration.

Now the family is out for blood. They blame ME specifically (but not hubby, who was with me 100% of the way) for the whole situation. I've gotten horrible messages from FIL telling me I've ruined his family. They all know the reason I have a therapist is because of severe depression and anxiety, and now I'm beginning to feel really depressed again.

I didn't ask my MIL to supply me the information she did, and actually was trying to tell her all along that I didn't want her to tell me these things. They don't blame her. They don't blame baby-daddy for his inappropriate behavior and were willing to let him back into the home with open arms.

And yet I can't help but feel like I've turned everything to mud. AITA here? ######

Response: NTA. A therapist is a mandated reporter, but it's not like they just report to CPS if there's no concern. There was enough concern her for the therapist to call CPS, and CPS to proceed with an investigation - nothing about that is your fault. ######


Prompt:
Sold a second hand computer item, at a bargain price. Just wanted some funds to upgrade.

The buyer was a great guy, and we chat for hours on FB about retro computers. The computer part I sold him was incompatible with his equipment though, and I immediatly offered to refund him in full. I had other buyers for it, and besides, I could still use it myself up until my upgrade was ready.

I urged him to return it, and even offered to pick it up myself.  Didn't hear from him... then about a month after the sale, he's asking me to meet so he can return the item. I refused politely, stating I'd try and contact the other potential buyers who were interested first.

But now wondering if I'm in the wrong here. ######

Response: NTA. A store wouldn’t have a returns policy better than you’ve offering, so why should you? ######


Prompt:
Throwaway

Me and my ex wife split and she has major custody and I have only 20% custody. I pay 1000 dollars in child support each month and I expect it to go to the child and not for her to use. Anyway today I saw on face book that my ex posted a picture about her brand new cellphone which was around 900 dollars and said how her ex bought it for her.

At this point I was really pissed and commented on her post and I said  how that money was child support and not for her personal rule.People found the comment and started to stop following her. She ended loosing half her followers as it was her top post at the time.

My ex pm me saying how she can use the child support how ever she wants. She told me that it's her money now and she said she does not care about the baby at all. She said I was a terrible person for ruining her internet fame. ######

Response: NTA. A screenshot of that conversation may be valuable to you. ######


Prompt:
My sister’s dog has had cancer for about 3 years. It gets new tumours surgically removed every three months or so. A couple of weeks ago he was bleeding internally due to a tumour in his spleen. He lost his spleen and now needs a blood transfusion.

He is getting old for his breed and they don’t take great care of him (he’s not allowed inside the house). My sister is married with a child. My sister asked if I would donate my dogs blood to her dog. I said no, because there is a risk of the donor dog dying. I adore my dog, he is always with me, and I have no partner to keep me company.

The risk to my dog is really minimal and now my sister isn’t talking to me because I politely said no. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. A lot of people keep their dying pets alive too long. If an animal is old and has a terminal condition (which I assume this dog’s cancer is, if they have to remove tumors several times a year and take out his spleen) I think it’s better to just let them go instead of prolonging their suffering. It’s unfortunate that your sister’s dog is dying, but it’s doesn’t make you morally obligated to put your dog at risk, even if it’s a very small one. ######


Prompt:
I (45M) run a thriving business, to the point where I can live VERY comfortably.

My daughter (22F) works for me, started last year. She mostly deals with recruitment/hiring others. She's done a terrific job.

There was a slip up with one person (25M) we hired though. He completely and utterly lied about his education, having listed a rather prestigious university. I'm still surprised as to how he did this.

It only came to light several months after he began working for us. However, he was by far the best person I've ever hired.. he was just very quick thinking and socially skilled, and had the ability to execute bold ideas.

Once my daughter discovered he had lied, she informed me. Obviously feeling embarrassed she wanted him fired, and for good reason... he had lied

However, I wasn't even mad at her, or really at him. I wanted to keep him. I had a conversation with him and told him I was aware of what he did, but that I'd let him stay as long as he kept up the good work.

My daughter said I was an AH for this as did my wife. However, I don't think they're looking at the good of the business here. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. A lot of businesses overlook people who might be great for the job just because they didn’t go to the right university. If he’s doing his job well then let him stay. There’s no real reason to fire him. ######


Prompt: Before Christmas I fell and broke my hip, nothing extreme becsuse I'm young but still had to have a surgery and till February I only moved to perfom rehabilitative exercises. Then pandemic happened and I wasn't able to do anything. Which made me grumpy  as I'm used to at least walk a lot. Finally, 2 months ago I was allowed to start slow pilates sessions and also yoga. I don't think I gained that much weight but definitely lost some definition abs-wise as I'd been used to work out frequently. Frankly I was scared shitless of gaining weight as I had an eating disorder when I was younger and occasionally I get either concerned about my weight or concerned about being concerned about my weight. Surprisingly I'm almost proud of myself because not only I managed to get my ol' good bone moving again, but I also didn't have problems with having a bit of tummy. That was until my bf started to joke about me being a bit fluffy. He knows about my past problems with food so I assumed it was a weird slip-on. Then he did it again and again and again. Telling me I wouldn't fit into my slacks after eating an ice-cream. Or that I looked like I was preggars. Initally I told him my trousers size hadn't changed and he should google pregnant women to see how they looked like. He shrugged it off as a joke, so did I till I found myself doing some weird things I did when I was ill (playing with food instead of eating, trying to count calories, watching myself in mirror etc.) and hadn't done them for 3 years, at least. So next time he made another 'quip' I got angry and asked him to never comment on my body again even if I gained weight and had an arse of a horse he should be happy I was able to walk. He told me to calm down and that he wasn't aware "I lost my sense of humour back on the operating table". I'm now confused af, don't know whether I was being a jerk back then or it was all 'real' I even start to think about apologising. ######

Response: NTA. A joke is supposed to be funny, not mean. As soon as someone has to clarify that they're joking, the jokes gone to far. Be forceful, your mental and physical health is worth more than he's terrible attempts at humor. It's worth more than the relationship he's tearing down by tearing you down. ######


Prompt:
First, my sister and I are twins. We did the SAT during March 14, and we made a deal with each other. Whoever got the lower score would do the other person’s chores for the entire summer break. We both agreed on this, and we asked our mother to enforce it. Obviously minors can’t enter contracts, but our mom is the supreme authority on chores.

It turns out that I barely got higher than her. I have a 1500, while she got a 1480. I still beat her; therefore, I am chore-free for the entire summer. It turns out, she didn’t want to do that. She didn’t do my chores for the entire week, and then she got in trouble for it. She’s semi-grounded until she does all the chores.

I still fold my own laundry, and we all wash our own dishes. She just has to do extra stuff, like mow and fertilize the lawn, etc. She’s very mad at me now, for obvious reasons. She wants me to do my share of the chores. The thing is, we had an agreement. I’m positive that if I got the worse score, then she’d not care that I would’ve to do more chores.

I’m not going to relinquish her of her duty, but I just want to see how wrong I am.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. A deal is a deal. ######


Prompt:
TL:DR is the title.

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My friend is turning 35 in another month. I was gifted an iPhone 11 pro max in December 2019 and I hate this phone. It's in mint condition and is in an otterbox case and hasn't been dropped or scratched but I hate this phone!

&#x200B;

So my friend's birthday is coming up in May and I'm thinking of just de-activating this iPhone and giving it to her, and buying myself the Galaxy S20 Ultra. In my mind, it's a win-win. She gets a bloody $1,000+ phone, and I get the phone I really want. When I asked her if she thought this was a good idea, she kind of took offense to it, and let me know I'm being a dick by giving her "hand-me-downs" for her birthday. She went on to say that I'm using her birthday as an excuse to buy myself a new phone.

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My jaw is on the floor. I know I spoil the people in my life because I'm a spoiled brat who spoils herself first but I do give my friends really expensive, high quality shit....and I'll be the first to admit that I'm damn selfish, but this iPhone 11 pro max is still bloody new!!! It's not even 6 months old, and I bought it NEW and have taken pristine care of it. but Idk that I'm being the asshole here or not??

&#x200B;

so.... AITA?!?! ######

Response: NTA. A basically unused $1,000 phone? Sign me up. She should just stick a different case on it. I'm not a huge fan of hand-me-downs, but this is certainly an exception. ######


Prompt:
I (F20) have been in a bakery course since September and every Wednesday we have an 8 hour hands on class. The teacher (M50) is a very friendly man, but his sense of humour is kind of on the edge of acceptable. He'd been making sex jokes about me and some other girls in my class all year, but they were still kind of funny.

Last week he called me from the other side of the room saying his friend sent him a video and it made him think of me, as a joke. I approached  him and he gets the video out, everyone else was busy doing their thing. He showed me the video and skips through it. It was a lesbian orgy porn. I got super uncomfortable and froze. I couldn't do anything but chuckle in shock. I laughed it off, didn't say anything about it and went back to what I was doing. I know I should've said something then but I just couldn't.

It's been making me lose sleep since last week. I feel grossed out, objectified and my self worth has plummeted.

So today I decided to call someone at school who I trust. I told her what happened and that I wanted to arrange a meeting with witnesses where I tell him that he crossed a boundary. But she said she wanted to tell his boss and get an investigation started.

Now he's gonna get in trouble because of me, even though I wanted to give him a warning first.

AITA for reporting my teacher over a joke? ######

Response: NTA. A 50 year old man knows that showing his student porn is not a joke. He wants you to think it’s a joke so you’ll doubt yourself like you’re doing now. You’re not getting him in trouble, he’s getting himself in trouble. ######


Prompt:
I have 3 kids, one is 7, the other is 9 and the oldest is 17, for mothers day my wife wanted me to make breakfast for the family.  So I made waffles for everyone, my wife doesn't eat a lot so she got 1, and the younger ones get 1 as well.  My older one is a pretty big guy for a 17yo he is 6'3 and 205 right now, Its a nightmare to get him full so I made him 2 full waffles for himself and I made myself just one.

We all eat at the dinner table and the 9yo was complaining about not getting 2 also, my oldest told him that when he gets big and strong too then he can have 2 like him.  My 9 year old got really pouty and refused to eat his food till he gets 2, cause he's a kid he got over it cause the smell of syrup was too much and ate it all up.

After breakfast my wife pulled me aside and said I couldn't just humor him by making a full one and splitting it with him and the youngest.  I told her that we can't give in when they are pouty, and while she agrees she said I should have at least waited till the younger one were gone to make the older one more.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA. A 17 year old boy needs more food than a 9 year old who hasn’t even started puberty. Could your 9 year old have actually eaten that much? ######


Prompt:
For reference I'm 21 years old and currently reside in the north east (US). My parents are mid 50s.

This summer my parents decided to take off and spend the majority of their summer house shopping in Florida, as they're looking to retire soon. I was left home alone for that entire time to take care of the house and dogs. I was working a virtual internship at home and being paid enough to easily support myself living alone (my own food/gas while they still paid the actual bills) in my parents house.

My internship has finished up so my parents want me to fly down to Florida and see the house they just made an offer for. I bought my own round trip ticket (ridiculously cheap cause no one is flying right now) to see my parents and spend the weekend playing golf and hanging out.

Today my dad sprung on me that I should forgo flying home and instead drive with them 5 days later. The drive is about 16 hours and they want to leave 5 days later than I would be on my flight. I don't have much time before returning to school, so I was looking forward to having those last few days to relax at home. Not to mention my school is in the south and I drive, so I'd basically be driving home with them to turn around and drive back the way I came a few days later.  After explaining to my dad that I didn't want to drive back with them as that wasn't the original plan, the limited time I have until I return to school, and the fact that I paid for a flight he freaked out calling me entitled, saying that they needed my help to drive back. I refused and said I'll be taking the flights I paid for and then he said "enjoy your flight, don't plan on staying with us if you won't come back with us" and hung up.

AITA here for not wanting to drive 16 hours? ######

Response: NTA. A 16 hour drive is torture and you already bought your tickets. Can you talk to your dad and ask what's *really* behind this? Does he want to spend more time with you before you go back to college? Is he worried about the extra exposure to COVID you could pick up on a second flight? There has to be an underlying reason, right? ######


Prompt: I have a 12 year old cousin who idolizes me. I haven’t seen her in months since covid started but we are able to start expanding our pod in my city. I visited her and my auntie today. My auntie said that I look great because of my weight loss. I lost weight because I lost my job and my ex boyfriend left me. So I was depressed which caused my appetite to be gone and I didn’t have money to buy food. I didn’t eat very much. I lost about 15 lbs. I didn’t need to lose the weight and I wouldn’t mind gaining 10 back. I’m just getting back on my feet now so don’t worry about me. I just thanked her when she complimented me. My cousin asked me how I lost weight because she gained quite a few lbs during quarantine. I told her that I just exercised and ate a bunch of fruit and vegetables. I didn’t want to tell her that I starved myself because what if she does the same? My aunt kept saying stuff about my body and I got fed up. I told her in private that I lost weight unintentionally through being broke and being depressed from a break up so I don’t want to be reminded about that. She apologized but is now mad at me for giving her daughter bad advice and giving her unrealistic expectations? Wtf? I find this ridiculous because vegetables and exercise are good habits. It’s not like I told her to take up smoking. I know I lied but AITA? ######

Response: Nta. A 12 year old shouldn’t focus too much on loosing weight cuz they’re still growing. Telling them to that starving works can result in eating disorders. Plus, healthy eating and exercise can also lead to weight loss, so it’s not entirely false. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because this will be obvious on my personal.

I (M17) live with my sister (F16) and my mom and dad. Very recently, my sister has gained about 20000 followers or so on Tik tok and has managed to gain a few sponsorships equivalent to about 500$. This, of course, made all four of us extremely proud of her. However, because of this, my sister has flirted with the possibility of quitting high school to focus on Tik tok and social media full time. My mom and dad both actually want her to do so because they’ve heard about the millions people can make. Of course, this made her extremely happy because she’d quit high school to do something she likes but any sensible person (I think), would say this is a terrible idea. I couldn’t let this happen so I sat down with my mom and dad and showed her a bunch of statistics on how hard it is to really make a living off of social media which thankfully changed their minds. I feel kind of bad because I may have robbed her of some happiness but I have no clue ######

Response: NTA. 20,000 followers and $500 dollars isn't enough to justify dropping out of school. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend has a tendency to spend his entire day in discord with his friends when he is home. I normally do not care that he is spending time in their with his friends unless I am spending time with him doing something. He will oftentimes join a voice chat and sit in discord while we spend time together playing video games. I have told him repeatedly that it makes me feel like the time we spend together is cheapened because he often responds to his friends and chats with them, t when this happens it makes me feel like his attention isn't all there.

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I have asked him to stop joining voice chats when we spend time together, or to leave them if he is in one if we are going to start playing a game without his friends. He absolutely loses his mind and goes off about how I hate his friends, that I wan't to control him and who he talks to etc. I'm not asking him to never join back, just spend the hour or two we are doing something together without joining the chat. He also uses arguments like "I said maybe two or three things to them while we played our game." when those two or three things weren't just a quick word but rather a discussion with his friends.

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I've told him I wouldn't expect him to be ok with me sitting on my phone and having a conversation with someone while we went on a date, or out to dinner, he say's 'it's different' the gyst of it is I can't stand when he does it so I will ask him if he is in discord and if he is to please leave. If he joins a discord channel I will ask him to leave. this is only when we are spending time together. ######

Response: NTA. 2-3 hours is all you’re asking for and he can’t even give you that fully? If he mentioned to his friends that he wanted to spend time with you without distraction they’d probably understand. I’m sure they would be fine for 2-3 hours without him. Try to get him to ask his friends about it in front of you so if/ when some of them see your side, your boyfriend has no excuse not to spend time being attentive to you. ######


Prompt:
We just had an argument over it. Out of courtesy I wait until 9-10am to grind coffee. Before that, since I'm up around 6am, I drink instant.

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Its worked out during the week. He's up early to wfh so it doesn't matter. But its saturday and he thinks I'm an asshole for doing anything noisy before noon. I think he needs to get earplugs or something if hes going to sleep so late. You can't expect quiet during daylight while everyone is stuck at home ######

Response: NTA. 10a is a perfectly reasonable time to grind coffee. But maybe you could pre-grind some in the evenings for the next day just to keep the peace? Everyone is losing their minds right now staying at home, so I’m sure many roommates are having similar arguments. Don’t turn your home into a war zone over silly stuff, try to let this one slide and moving forward hopefully you reach a compromise! ######


Prompt:
When we started dating he gave me his ipad and put my fingerprint there so I could draw on it as I'm a part time artist but couldn't afford an ipad so I was using something worse. After about a month I left for 3 weeks to go back home. When i returned his ipad had been reset and my fingerprint didn't work anymore. I asked him about it and he said his parents came over and he reset it for reasons I don't remember exactly. I asked if i could still use it and he said yes but he'd need to look through what he's got on it first. It's been months and he still hasn't.

Look, I'm not crazy, I think. I don't want his passwords or whatever, I was just using it to draw and if he doesn't want to give it to me that's also fine, but he changed it so suddenly and it was all fine before and now isn't. He got upset with me when I said I'm feeling a bit insecure because of it and said he just never shares his passwords with people (which isn't what I was asking for), but that's a lie as when his best friend came over he logged into all of his stuff pc, netflix etc. I never asked for any of these and I have a separate account on his pc, he claims that no one knows any of his passwords but that's just a blatant lie. His best friend logged into his pc account in front of me to show me something. I told him this and said I don't appreciate him lying. He said he probably forgot about giving his best friend the passwords and I told him this just doesn't inspire trust to me.

He called me controlling and manipulative and expects an apology, but what should I apologise for? I didn't ask for his passwords, I just pointed out he lied. Now he's not talking to me and I'm wondering if I'm really TA. ######

Response:
 NTA. 1) His behavior is suspicious to begin with. From what you've said, it seem like he's hiding something. So there's a level of trust gone. 2) He lied to you. Now I don't see how there's any trust left. If he's willing to lie to you about one thing, why not another? Where can you draw the line of when he's truthful?

He's the one being manipulative, not talking to you and demanding an apology for you calling him on his bs. ######


Prompt:
I (23F) help my brother (34M) with running his business. Often, this requires me to learn new skills such as marketing software, writing up proposals, applying for loans, interacting with customers, etc. I do all of this is my own free time and I have never been paid. This has been something I have done for a couple of years, but since stay-at-home orders, he has relied on me even more with an average of 2-3 hours per night. Often, he will sit next to me while I do his work and he plays on his phone with excuses such as "You just make forms so much better!"

Last night, he decided to pay me $25 for doing an online interview for him. I did extensive research and thought it sounded pretty good so I was content with it. My Mother saw that he paid me and she flipped out on me for being spoiled and taking his money. I tried to give him back the money previously and said not to worry about it 4 times (I even left the room with the money on the table). But, a part of me wanted the money. I have sacrificed so much of my time to help him succeed and have never gotten paid.

My Mother says I'm money-hungry and looking to profit, but isn't my time worth money? Considering how much time I have given him, I feel like a one-time payment of $25 is not too much. I'm not asking to be put on payroll or even have a weekly income from his business. AITA? Thanks! ######

Response:
 NTA. $25 and she's getting bent out of shape? Guess she won't mind not being paid at her job then, since she's so concerned about not being money-hungry. Sounds like a real peach..../s

Your brother should have been paying you for all the things you've done and should be paying you for everything you do for his business going forward. If not, then he should be reported to your local government labor agency. ######


Prompt:
My brother has been needing a haircut. I am a cosmetologist and I worked really hard but in the end i decided it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. My brother has been asking me for a haircut for a few days now but the time has never worked out. My mom got it in her head he needed a haircut today. I said I could do it tomorrow but we have "plans tomorrow" so it won't be possible. She said she would just borrow my stuff. I gave her my clippers, guards and thinning shears but I said my scissors are mine and I don't let anyone use them but me.

They are 1500 dollar scissors. I saved up 3 months to be able to buy them. You have to be careful with them. Plus if you drop them they will be ruined. (She is also cutting his hair on the driveway) She has clippers and scissors  they are just really cheap so it is really hard to cut hair with them. I get it is nice to have nicer scissors. I basically told her no they are mine. She starts getting mad and telling me how I am ungrateful and don't want to be apart of this family. That I am selfish and don't realize how they let me use there stuff all the time. I then say fine you can use the scissors and bring them to her. She says I have shown her how I really feel and she doesn't want them. That I have shown her that my scissors are more important than our relationship.

I apologized again and ask her if she is sure. No, I need to get out of her face and think about how I have acted. I go down to my room and just cry. She brings me back my clippers and then tells me I need to get a grip and think about other people. I just feel absolutely shitty and I want to know if I was an asshole for saying no initially to her using her scissors. ######

Response: NTA. $1500 fragile equipment is not something I find shareable. ######


Prompt:
I am currently 21 and going to graduate college soon after the summer semester. I'm currently getting towards the end of the spring semester. My mom passed away 5 days ago at 46 yrs old, so I notified all my professors and they all gave me extensions and were very understanding and compassionate, including the professor in question.

This is what the professor told me. I'll call her Prof. She said that as long as I can turn everything in by the last day of school, there will be no point deduction.

Recently we had a take home test due (since school is now totally online). Part 1 was multiple choice, part 2 was free response (short answers, sketches of depositional environments etc). I have not completed it yet and it was due yesterday. One day ago. In the online class video chat today, everyone had questions about flaws in the exam, what they got wrong etc. They wanted her to release the answers. Usually if a student hasn't taken the exam, the teacher waits until they take it, then they can release the answers. Prof said: ok I can release the answers right now and go over them. The person that didn't take the test will get an alternate assignment. She then talked about the answers to part 1.

She didn't discuss answers to part 2. However I got an email saying, in summary:

Parts 1 and 2 will each get 50% point deduction for lateness and seeing the answera. This is almost 8 points off of my final grade. It is meant to be fair to others. I can understand part 1, but why deduct from part 2 when I didn't get any answers?

I'm so mad right now I'm shaking. Will I be a jerk if I write that she was not helpful in this situation in her university evaluation? I will of course answer other questions fairly, like for example she does a good job answering questions. I won't lie and say she was bad at that just because I am mad. However, commenting about her compassion or whatever could hurt her career. ######

Response: NTA. ~~That said, it could be the professor simply forgot. Email her reminding her that you had an extension, and why. Try to work it out with the professor first.~~ Talk with the dean. You should not be penalized for having a death in your immediate family. ######


Prompt:
This happened a few years ago but it still bothers me. My senior year I was talking to my uncle and he showed me his phone which had several pictures saved of one of my classmates. Including one of her in a bikini. He was telling me how she was going to nursing school and all kinds of information pointing to him just stalking her profile. We weren’t friends so there was no reason he should even know her. He eventually just went on about how attractive she was and if he was a few years younger, etc.
So the next day I found her at school and told her. I said that she should probably block him on social media, made sure she knew which account, all that. I thought I did the right thing and told my mom. Next thing I knew, she was yelling at me. Telling me how it wasn’t any of my business and how if she didn’t want people to have her photos then she shouldn’t post it. So AMITA? Or was I overreacting? ######

Response:
 NTA. ~~Sounds like she was being groomed. Maybe not by your uncle but she certainly had a strong opinion on it.~~

~~You can't save people from themselves, but you spoke out and tried. That's a lot more than most people would have done.~~

You did her a MASSIVE favor and you need to remember this when it comes to letting your mom spend time with your kids, because she was willing to cover it up. ######


Prompt:
I've spent all day making a brisket on the stovetop and in the oven.  Started cooking around 11:30am. Great cut of meat, fresh vegetables, herbs etc...

At 4pm my MIL showed up today with some burgers and hotdogs they had grilled at their house.  My wife won't say no to her mom's cooking (she thinks she'll offend her mom), despite the fact that they both know and have acknowledged that I spent all day cooking.

AITA if I press the issue that we should eat what I cooked?  I can just picture me being asked to microwave  to reheat my dish tomorrow for dinner.... ######

Response: NTA. “Oh I’m sorry MIL, I’ve already made myself some dinner! Maybe let us know next time so we can arrange dinners!” ######


Prompt:
I(19M) am going to college 6 hours away from home. My parents are paying my tuition but they had one stipulation. I had to download life 360 on my phone and keep it on at all times. Life 360 is a phone tracking app that tells whoever's is in the group where I am, when i am driving or someone is driving me, when I get home and when my phone gets low on battery. Now I'm also the youngest of 4 none of my older siblings had to do anything like this and they all had there tuition paid from my parents.

Sunday night my girlfriend(23F) and I wanted to go out to the beach and have *fun time* so to make sure my mom doesnt call or text to ask why I'm on the beach i turned it off. Didnt get any calls or text. Went to bed and woke up to 5 miss calls from my mom 3 miss calls from my dad and a text from my sister(21F) saying "moms going to fucking kill you I would call asap." Well I called my mom and basically got yelled at for 20 minutes and then was told she is going to start FINING me every time I turn my life 360 off. She said it will matter how long it was off for and what time of day it was turned off. AITA? All my siblings I made a deal with her and I broke it. All of my friends and girlfriend agree this whole thing is fucking dumb. ######

Response:
 NTA. “Explain to me why I have to do this and my siblings didn’t?”

Oh, and r/insaneparents ######


Prompt:
This guy I worked with asked for a ride home after our shift, we both live in the same town, so I said sure. He said after work he had to get somethings at a store close by.

work ends we get in my car and I needed to stop for gas. I get to the gas station and fill my tank, I paid by CC at the pump. After I am done filling my tank I hit the yes button for a receipt and the machine says must go inside for one. I go inside and get my receipt.

I get back in the car and I drive to the store, when I get to the store the co-worker gets out and says he will be a few minutes. After a few minutes of waiting I notice my cup holder of loose changes is empty. I am pissed and think who does he think he is to steal from me after I was doing him a favor. I think screw him, he can find his own way home and I drive off.

Next day at work he confronts me and calls me an asshole for ditching him like that cause he had to wait five hours to get picked up. I say to him, hope the five hour wait was worth the three dollars in change he stole from me.

He ends up telling all our co-workers I ditched him for stealing three dollars from me. The co-workers all gave me crap for it so I ended up quitting the job a week later.

I really don't think I did anything wrong. ######

Response: NTA. ‘Carma’ mwhahahahahaha ######


Prompt:
Hi, this is my first post here.

I'm a 23M living in the US and recently moved away to start my career writing. I'm an author and I've already written my first book. While moving, I forgot to bring some stuff from my old house. I remembered my set of Legos, I literally had two suitcases full of Legos from when I was little.

They were all kinds - star wars, buildings, famous places, vehicles and stuff. I don't really remember everything but I had a formula1 Lego too.

Long story short when I went back, I asked my mom where my Lego set was, and she seemed reluctant to tell me. I persisted and she told me it was in the attic. Then we went up and I saw the suitcases. When I opened them my mom said that it was probably too late for me to play with Legos and she'd sell them if she could.

Now my childhood was kind of hard, because we didn't have much to spend. The Lego sets were a gift from my uncle and he used to give me 2-3 sets in an year. It was my only pastime and there are a lot of memories associated with them.

Anyway I said no immediately and my mom was kinda angry, she said that you have to sell them now. I asked why and she said it was taking up a lot of space. Then i offered to move them to my apartment but she refused, saying that I'm too old for them. I picked up the Lego sets and put them in my car, with my mom following and protesting. She was really angry and wouldn't talk to me even after I tried to reason with her.

AITA for not selling my Lego set and taking it to my house? ######

Response:
 NTA.
They’re YOURS. You’re never too old to play with legos. They’re literally just plastic building blocks. I have no idea why your mom didn’t want you to take them back to your place. ######


Prompt:
It's another day at my gym where I work out everyday, The customer service  there is excellent the atmosphere is really good and even the drinks  don't disappoint even though I carry water with me all the time.

However there was this incident that started on February, it carried on for 3 exhausting days. You can get your own personal trainer you obviously  know what that means you can also receive a massage from him if you wish  to pay. He massaged me for several sessions and I became close pals  with him however one guy took a photo out of context as he was passing  by the locker rooms (because that's where the massage takes place) Took a  photo where I wasn't wearing a bra and the personal trainer was looking  away. I didn't notice the photo being taken as I was looking the other way

He then tried to frame it as "She flashed her breasts at him that's a harassment" The photo was  blurry so the managers believed he was pulling it out of his ass. The  manager then came up to me the other day told me about it I audibly  gasped, the dude who framed it was at the gym at the time and I went up to his face and almost had a breakdown on him. we shortly got seperated and I filled a report at him for being unprofessional and that he harassed me.

He got banned from ever having a subscription to that gym ever again, the  managers asked other women about this and if he tried to frame them as  well but they explained that it didn't happen but his behavior was  off-putting compared to other guys, he wasn't sociable sometimes glanced  at a few asses but he wasn't "Alarming" according to their experience

I  thought about it day after day, we even joke about it now, but AITA from getting him banned in the first place, could he actually saw it as a coincidence or did he had a gripe with Women.

Also I'm just friends with the masseuse for now, I'm single and 30 years old. (He's 32) ######

Response:
 NTA.
So this guy took photos of you in a compromised position without your consent and was then attempting to paint you in a poor light with the gym managers? I’m disturbed that he had the audacity to take a compromising photo of you without your consent, being that the gym is not a public place. In my country that is enough to have someone banned from the gym, and there would even be grounds for police involvement. ######


Prompt:
Long story short, my partner is not from my country, and recently went back to their to see their family. Since they didn't knew how long they would be gone, and how they would go back due to flight restrictions due to the Corona crisis, they asked if I would be okay to buy the ticket back, which they would refund later when they get their salary further down the month.
Of course I agreed, anything to help of course. I said I'd transfer them the necessary amount or buy the ticket myself if needed.
A week later the prices for the tickets gets down a little and they ask me if they can use my card, which I interpreted by just buying it for them. But no, they quite literally want me to send my credit card numbers through message so they can buy it themselves using my card.
That is, to me, a full stop no, reinforced by the fact that I've had recent hacking attempts on my account. Nothing too serious, just people trying to get into my emails, but enough to get me slightly paranoid and make delete my card off on most website I use.
I'm completely okay with buying the ticket, or sending the money, but they kept arguing that I didn't trust them, that I was paranoid, and that they wanted to do it the way they wanted. I do understand their point of view, they want to make sure they get back, but in my opinion, since I'm part of the help, I should have a say in how this is done, and I refuse to send those kind of informations through messages. It's quite literally the one thing people tell you not to do!
Now they are mad, telling me I lied when I said I wanted to help...
So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.
in no way, shape, or form give them that info. there is no reason for them to need or have it.
major red flag ######


Prompt: Ex and I have three sons 6, 9 and 13. I have two pets - a pug named Thor and a Maine Coon cat named Max. When my kids are with me 1/2 the week, Thor and Max insist on sleeping with them. My kids don't mind and both enjoy snuggling. My ex-wife asked me to stop letting letting Thor and Max sleep with them because her boyfriend is very allergic to dogs and cats. I told her I couldn't care less so she is now saying that she too is allergic to cats and asks why I can't keep them in a separate room or outside. I absolutely refuse. It's not personal. ######

Response:
 NTA.
If he is really allergic, just get some separate sets of clothes for the kids to sleep with them. Then they can just shower and get changed before going back to your ex's house.

My parents are divorced and my dad has a really lovable (but clumsy) German Shepard and a grass backyard. I have a designated set of clothes to play with him when I visit so I won't keep getting other clothes spoiled or dirty ######


Prompt:
Throwaway. On mobile.

I (28f) am childfree and live in a house with my husband (30m). The house was inherited by my husband from his father, we’ve been living in it two years. It’s spacious and away from the city, and we don’t have any immediate neighbors. We don’t need or use all the space, but it’s my husbands childhood home, and we don’t want to sell yet.

My sister (37f) asked me yesterday if my niece (18f) could use me and my husband’s home for a prom/graduation get-together with her friends. My niece had to miss both her senior prom and graduation due to covid, and she’s been really upset, and wanted to do something special since things are opening back up. My sister lives in a condo, and doesn’t have the room for the gathering btw.

My sister explained the “party” would be my niece with probably six of her friends hanging out in the backyard (which has a small gazebo/grill/some trees and flowers). She’d supply the food for them.

I told her no, simply because I don’t want my niece and six teens I don’t know to having a party in the backyard during a pandemic. My sister promised they’d be good, but they’re 18 year olds that have been cooped up for three months. I can’t trust they won’t bring alcohol or invite more people than the original six.

My sister threw a hissy fit at this, saying I was being selfish not “sharing” my wealth with my family (we’re not rich and the house is far from a mansion). Apparently I’m being cruel because my niece is SO bored being stuck at home with her mom and little brothers, and not enjoying summer like she should be. According to my sister, it’s “just one day” and they’re good kids, so I should be lenient.

I love my niece but I don’t appreciate by sister putting me in this uncomfortable situation and trying to guilt me. Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Your niece has 5 friends who could potentially host a party. ######


Prompt: So I'm(15M) and I have 2 moms. I was adopted at 5 months old into a family with 2 older siblings and 2 moms it's my normal. I dont take lightly to homophobic people or people making fun of anyone for being gay. Well today I was playing video games with a couple of my friends. We were playing gta v and everything was fine. Until one of the guys made was trash talking someone and called them a f*got I told him that was out of line. He didnt respond for a bit and when I thought everything was over he said "you know I get it your parents are gay but you dont have to a be sensitive ass bitch online because of it no one likes a sjw." I said "I'm a sjw because I dont like using slurs??" He said "no but you shouldn't judge other people for using them and just keep to yourself." I said "no I'm going to call you on your bullshit when I fucking want to." He said "alright whatever you say p*ssy." At that point I was done and said "oh ok I'm a p*ssy I dont remember being the one who banned someone from my discord server for having a opposing opinion on something but oh no I'm the p*ssy. Are you forgetting about just a couple weeks ago you were dming me talking shit on alex for having a mental breakdown in the general text chat the other day and I tried to stay out of it." Another friend said "wow you cant just be exposing dms like that!" I said "no he fucking asked for it and I know the only reason you are defending him is because you want to be mod on the discord server you tell me all the time that if you get closer to him he will give you mod." Basically I ruined a friend group and had everyone turn on each other. ######

Response:
 NTA.

You stood up for people getting bullied w/ ridiculous insults. Obviously good.

You also blew up a friend group by...telling the truth. If these were personal embarrassing secrets you'd be the asshole. But they were petty truths about people behaving pettily. So...NTA. ######


Prompt: I was on a uni trip and spent the day talking to one to the organisers of the trip associated with the company that ran the trip (we met on the trip, I didn’t know him before). It was a bit flirty and we talked a couple times throughout the day and at the pres we talked for probably over/around half an hour. I didn’t hookup with him/kiss or have sex with him because I decided I wasn’t interested in him so just spent the rest of the time with girlfriends dancing, Talking etc. the next day, some friends of mine that I had met fairly recently so we weren’t super close but they were the only people I knew on the trip before I came on the trip, told me that I had hurt his feelings and offended him and he felt I had lead him on. They said that I should check in with him because I hurt his feeling. I thought and told them that I didn’t owe someone an apology or explanation for not being interested in them or talking to them and not following through with something sexual. AITA for not apologising or checking in with him? ######

Response:
 NTA.

You don't owe anyone sex because you had a conversation with them.
You don't owe them an apology for not having sex with them.

Your friends have some "interesting" perspectives. ######


Prompt:
My roomate and I aren't the most well off people but I like to save a bit of cash and buy the good stuff. Butter instead of margerine, fresh instead of packaged. It's like the ONE thing I splurge on to try and be healthy.

I asked if it was cool to have our own shelves in the fridge since we often buy similar things and it's easy to forget who's is who's. Also because he used this as a frequent excuse as to why he ate my things. (He will EVENTUALLY replace it but it's always the unhealthy cheap version, not what I actually bought. He agreed.

He keeps putting his stuff on my shelf, and then eating my food saying he "forgot" and that he thought it was his. I reminded him multiple times mentioning "hey man, I'm not rich, I can't feed us both :p " he laughs and agrees.

So the other day a bunch of my stuff was missing again and a bunch of his stuff was on my shelf (probably a prepped setup for the "oh I mistaken the items since it's all mixed!" Excuse) .

Instead of bringing it up I just ate the things he put on my shelf. And he got really upset saying he can't afford that.

I feel bad now, but at the time it felt justified. To be clear I'm not against sharing my stuff, but to be *asked* would be nice. Plus I like my own space to be able to see what I still have / what I need etc. I don't know if I'm overreacting because it's JUST a shelf, but I'm a broke student and it seems like a good way to keep track of my stuff.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA.

You did exactly what he does to you, he never actually replaces the items (buying someone something crappier than what they owned is not replacing it) and is benefitting from "forgetting" the organization rule all the time.

So, this time you did it too.

Were you ACTUALLY an asshole? Well... yeah. But you needed to be because talking to him hasn't solved the problem and he is taking advantange of you. If this is what you did from the start, I'd say you all suck, but he knows wtf he is doing.

So overall, morally, NTA! ######


Prompt:
Hello people I’ll keep it short. My boyfriend of 4 months recently told his mom about my eating disorder without telling me. We went to his parents house just to see how’s everyone is doing since it’s been awhile. He’s an amazing cook, so he was helping his brother with dinner  I was setting the table. We were talking about how our day was and the conversation follows B= boyfriend BB= boyfriend’s brother Me=.....take a wild guess lol

B:The food is great

BB: thanks I even made cake

B: yes I love your cakes

Me: I do too

BB: well with your eating disorder I’m sure you can eat the whole thing Me

Silence....

I looked straight at B he was red in the face probably from embarrassment and angry. Dinner quickly finishes after that. Before we leave mom (she’s basically my mom too at this point guys I really love her) apologize like crazy I said it’s not her fault and we leave and go home then I told him I’m going to stay the night at friends and of course he thought it was the end and I assured him that we are not breaking up but what he did really hurt me. When I first told him and he swore up and down he would never tell anyone cause some of his other family already picks on my appearance (I’m black and he’s white) I just went to my friends and cried I’m not gonna leave him but he tends to overshare with his family sometimes we have talked about him over sharing countless of times but nothing works

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

You confided in him, and he went out and betrayed said confidence. You are fully within your rights to be upset. ######


Prompt: My partner and I have a two year old and we are expecting in the fall. He would like to go to a sporting event that is out of state and would be gone for at least 3 days. The sporting event is 2 weeks after my due date. I told him that I really feel like I need help at home because I will be newly postpartum with a newborn and a toddler running around. He keeps saying he will just take the toddler (I would never let this happen as this seems to be more of a boys trip, not kid friendly). He does not seem to be openly mad that I keep saying no but he keeps bringing it up and I’m wondering if he is thinking I will change my mind if he keeps breaking me down about it? It started out as a joking matter but now I’m thinking he actually thinks he wants to go and he is making me feel bad for putting my foot down. All of his friends are still bachelors so I hate to having to hold him back because I know things like this are really important to his well-being. AITA for not letting him go? ######

Response:
 NTA.

What if you end up with a c section and can't pick up the baby? You're going to do this alone?

He made the baby, he can stand to miss 1 event and stay home while the baby is a newborn. ######


Prompt:
Background: I'm  a housewife and I don't have any money. My husband doesn't give me money, he's not the "Here, some money buy something nice for yourself" type.
I ask him for permission to buy some things because I'm using his money. He doesn't want me to work.

The story: Last month I wanted to buy something (I forgot what) it's NOT expensive at all and I didn't ask for anything for the past few months. So I ask H if we could buy it, he didn't said anything.

A few days later his salary came he showed me his payslip. I ask him,"So can we buy the thing?"
He snapped back, "You just saw money and now you want to buy useless things you're so greedy/ gold digger. I WILL NEVER SHOW YOU MY PAYSLIP AGAIN!"
Mind you he said that in front of me and his mom. I was humiliated.

I confronted him after that and he told me I should find a job so I don't beg from him. I didn't reply because I don't want our fight to get any longer. In the end he never bought the thing I want to buy.

Last week I was asking him to buy something again because its my birthday next week.
So today he showed me his payslip again.
I said, "Why did you show me that?, I thought you will never show me that because I might want to buy useless stuff again. I don't want to get called greedy/ gold digger again." Those words kinda slipped out of my mouth because I remembered what he did last time.

Now hes mad at me for ruining his mood. Until now 2 hours we're not talking. Should I say sorry to him?

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

This is financial abuse, and I wouldn't be surprised if he has other abusive tendencies (it even sound like emotional abuse from your short description).

I'd get a job and squirrel all your money away so you can have enough money to leave this man. Don't let him touch a penny of your earnings.

This is terrible, good luck. He is a 100% abusive asshole. ######


Prompt:
Long story short, I recently won a considerable amount of money from a $20 scratch ticket. As I don’t want to give away my identity, I won’t say how much but its enough for my girlfriend and I to quit our jobs and pay down all our debts which includes a hefty mortgage.

Initially i wanted to keep this a secret since i know how winning a large sum of money can potentially ruin families and relationships through greed and jealousy.. but after speaking with my girlfriend, she convinced me to tell my parents since they were old and have always struggled with money. Not because they don’t earn enough (they own a thriving pizza business, well not so much with COVID recently) but because they have crazy spending habits.

So yesterday, i called them and i told them that i had won a large amount of money and  could pay for all their future expenses and even pay for them to travel which they love doing.

In that call, I made it clear to them to not tell anyone. Not even family. I didn’t plan to live lavishly so i thought i could keep it a secret.
Well, long story short, they told my entire extended family which includes my two brothers brothers, one sister, and 6 nieces and nephews. Everyone wants a piece of my money now. Somehow word even got around to one of my old high school friends and he asked me if i could loan him some cash to pay rent and that he’d “hit me up next month fo sho”.

I called my parents and i blew up at them. I told them i wouldn’t be paying for any of their expenses and they could say goodbye to any vacation plans. In my view, if i buy them something, everyone will expect that of me and so the only solution is to not buy anything for anyone.

Everyone says i’m a greedy asshole. ######

Response:
 NTA.

They went behind your back and went against everything you said. They are calling you the asshole to guilt you into giving them money. It’s your money and you do with it what you see fit. ######


Prompt:
Our neighbors kids were outside playing when we all went out to look for Easter eggs. When we let the kids have at it the neighbor kids really interested and stood right at the fence looking through and watching our kids. It was kind of awkward, but our kids didn’t notice so we just went on with it.

The same thing happens a lot when our kids go swimming in our pool or play on their jungle gym.

Yesterday our neighbor left us a note asking if we could wait until her kids are done playing outside to go swimming. As it’s hot right now her kids are very jealous and upset since they can’t swim and now can’t even go to the park to play. Us having an Easter egg hunt in front of them made it a lot worse since they also couldn’t have one and they were very sad.

It just seems unfair that we would have to schedule our kids playing around her kids. ######

Response:
 NTA.

That's ridiculous of your neighbor to ask you to not let your kids have fun *at your own house* because their kids would get jealous. They need to entertain their own kids. A blow up pool isn't expensive if they can't afford to buy a real one. Plus they could have had a Easter egg hunt at their house. Buying plastic eggs ans candy isn't hard and its not expensive. It's not your fault they didn't do it. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because I don't want to clog up my main with toothbrush domestic BS.

My boyfriend and I just got a new pack of toothbrushes. It's a multipack where they are random colors and when I opened the packet I took out the first toothbrush barely even looking at the color, brushed my teeth and continued about my day, leaving the other in the packet for my bf.

When he went to brush his teeth, he came out of the bathroom asking me to change toothbrushes with him. I said no because I'd already used my new toothbrush and it's unhygienic.

The reason he didnt want to use the one left in the packet was because it was pink. The one I took was green. I told him if he really cared about which toothbrush he uses he should have just got up earlier, then he could have had first pick and that he was being very childish making a fuss about the color of his goddamn toothbrush.

He said I should have looked at what color toothbrush I was taking and not left the pink one for him. He said most men wouldn't want to use a pink toothbrush. I said most adults wouldn't care what color toothbrush they're using. Nobody is going to see him using a pink toothbrush and laugh at him. His penis is not going to fall off simply from using a pink toothbrush.

Either way, it's unhygienic in my view to share toothbrushes so I'm not switching and if he's really that butthurt about it he can go and buy himself a new toothbrush in whatever color he wants.

Anyway, he got angry and told me I was being a bitch about it, and I honestly feel bad because clearly I'm in a relationship with an absolute child... so reddit, what do? AITA here? ######

Response:
 NTA.

That *is* unhygienic. And disgusting. Tell him to wrap it in duct tape so he can feel "macho" again. ######


Prompt: I'm a trucker, so I'm on the road 6 days a week, working about 12 hours a day, and I keep my truck clean inside. My wife works 12 hours a week, and the house is constantly a mess, and when I say something to her about it, it usually pisses her off, then she says she'll do it, but never does. Am I being an asshole by asking too much of her to simply keep the house cleaned up? ######

Response:
 NTA.

She should absolutely be keeping the house clean. There's no excuse not to. ######


Prompt:
OK, here I go. It might be long. My wife and I have been together for 15 years, married for 5, and had our first kid 4 years ago. She's pregnant with our third. Shortly after our first kid's birth, she had a burnout, and I effectively became the sole source of income for our family. She has recently made plans to return to work in a complete different career. I'm self-employed (woodworker), and so  would she (parental counseling). Now today, she tells me that with everything going on, she's thinking of home-schooling the kids. At first, I'm thinking, sure why not? She has a background in education, was a teacher, has a Master in developmental psychology. So, hey, what the hell.
Now, this is where things went awry. I asked her:
'What about your career plans?'
'Oh, I was thinking you could Monday-Wednesday, leave home early and take care of the kids from 6pm so I can take care of my clients/customers/patients (I have no idea what to call them). Then, Thursday and Friday, you'd work mornings only, and I could use those afternoons as well.'
So we got in a fight. I feel she's pressuring me into doing this her way, and leave a job I like (however physically demanding) and I make OK money with, for a dream of a perfect life she has for herself. All the while the kids are enrolled in a private Montessori school I'm paying for and am perfectly satisfied with.
I told her so. But she says success isn't only measured in hours worked. Sure, but it does pay for everything right now. And I'm afraid it won't be enough if things go her way.
So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to keep things going as they are? ######

Response:
 NTA.

She needs a hard reality check.

Pretty much her whole plan is wishfull thinking about how much business she can actually get. You cutting hard into your work hours for her to spend time in an unproven and given the whole economic situation pretty shaky business model. ######


Prompt:
I (28m) proposed to my now Fiance (27f) back in December. We had been dating for over 4 years and already talked about marriage. I knew before I asked the question she would say yes. We had talked about her taste in rings before and she always said she wanted something unique and vintage. Nothing brand new. I was having trouble in finding something i felt confident that she would love. So I came up with the idea to take her on a wonderful vacation to a town in Spain that had a ton of antique jewelry shops. I floated the idea by her and she was very excited. We went on our trip and spent 2 days searching shops for her dream ring (we would have spent more time looking, but she was adamant about the ring she found). We spent another 5 days vacationing, where on our 2nd to last night we went to a fancy dinner and I officially proposed.
When we got back some of her friends were shocked that A.) She picked her own ring and B.) The proposal wasn't a surprise. She knew we were going to be engaged on the trip.
Her family seemed a little weirded out by how we did the proposal well.
She ensures me that she loved everything about the trip and loves the ring, but I cant help but wonder if I spoiled the surprise/magic of a once in a lifetime event.
AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

She liked it. You were thoughtful to *your partner*, rather than all the busibodies always looking to stroke their egos with *something* or other. Now she has a whole lovely trip accompanying her ring. It has a more romantic story than most rings. ######


Prompt: My roommate recently moved in to live with me 3 weeks ago. Things been good. She’s very nice and we click well. Last night, she told me she was gonna go for a run and go to seven eleven. She asked me if I wanted anything, I said no. She went and didn’t come back. I texted her and she didn’t reply. I waited for her but I ended up falling asleep. I woke up and she wasn’t home. I went to work and came home and she wasn’t home. Her social media was dead and she hasn’t messaged me. I ended up calling the cop when I got home, around 9pm. She was found at a friend’s. She freaked out on me and said that I’m not her mom and that she doesn’t have to tell me where she’s at all the time. She called me creepy and nosey and I feel bad now. Did I overstep the boundaries? ######

Response:
 NTA.

She didn’t say goodbye in a way that indicated she’d be gone that long.

Based on her going radio silent and being so angry, I’d be wondering if she wasn’t up to something she’s embarrassed about or hiding. ######


Prompt:
First off I'll explain our family. When I met my husband he had a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Her name is Alexandra. I married Alex's dad when she was five. So technically I'm her step mom. Alex's mom is also remarried. She calls both me and her bio mom "mom" and both my husband and her step dad "dad". All four of us think of her as a daughter and she lives with her mom and stepdad 50% of the time and me and my husband the other 50% of the time. Basically she has two sets of parents. Sorry if i worded it confusing.

I don't really have any problems with Alex's mom even though she is a bit on the conservative side. Meaning she thinks tampons take your virginity. She has told Alex that she doesn't want her using them. The problem is that Alex is 14 now and wants to by on the swim team when the schools reopen. Me and my husband also have a pool in the backyard and swim a lot in the summers. She says that she doesn't like being the only one who can't swim when she's on her period.

One day Alex was staying at our house and she told me how worried she was about having to deal with her period when she starts the swim team. She also disclosed to me that it's not fair that all of her other friends get to use tampons.

Later that night I bought her a box. I told her that they would stay at our house in the bathroom and she could use them whenever she needs them for swimming. And said that her mom didn't have to know. I feel back and have never gone behind her bio mom's back like that before. However, I grew up with a conservative mom like that. I understand that it can lead to things that cause embarrassment (for instance swimming in a pad). I didn't want Alex to have to go through something like that like I did.

I feel like I did right by my daughter but still feel a bit of guilt. Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Only asshole would be those who do not let their teenage kids use sanitary products. ######


Prompt:
My husband (36) and I have two kids, my husband also has autism and so does my son (17) both relatively mild cases. My daughter and I do not share this mental disability with them.

Now I’m a nurse which means due to COVID I’ve had to be at  my workplace, my husband however could work at home. My children being  school aged were also obviously home. I noticed that after the first few weeks my daughter started receiving a lot more money from my husband, I noticed my son also giving money , and when restrictions were eased car rides in addition seemed available to my youngest.

I called In sick so I’m off two weeks, and I’ve noticed that when my daughter asks for things from my son or husband she’ll try to either hug them or raise her voice.
These are both sensory overloads for them and they’ll agree to anything to make it stop and avoid a meltdown, before they hate loud noises and uninitiated physical contact.

I know this because I admittedly have done this myself ONCE before when my husband didn’t want to go to the doctor So wrapped my arms around him for like half a minute  while I asked him to get in the car and let me take him to the doctor he agreed after he started to freak out.

So I confronted my daughter about this and she said she didn’t know what I was talking about, I asked her to explain to me how it’s okay for her to try to overwhelm like that and she started to get angry so she went to her room, I then went to my husband and say we should punish her after I explained the situation, he got mad and said there’s no way he’s being taken advantage of by a 14 yr old, I asked him if he was under duress when she asked for something from him and he refused to answer and went to our room and locked the door.

AITA for trying to punish my daughter for taking  advantage of my husband and son ? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Not only is this taking advantage of your husband and son, but it's ingraining habits in your daughter that will follow her into the real world.

Can you imagine her abusing another autistic person's sensory overloads to get her way, because she thinks it's okay? ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have a 5 month old daughter. He is only just getting comfortable enough to change her wee diapers without me supervising/helping now, and when he was changing her last night he saw she had pooped and called me in to change her because 'I've done it before but this one is bad'. It wasn't bad, two wipes and she was clean. Just smelled a bit worse than usual since she started teething.

Tonight he was holding her after work and she started to poop. As soon as she was done he handed her to me. I sighed and said "another shitty diaper to change" while walking to the change table. He snapped back with 'I don't say that every time I have to pay the rent, or bills'.

Granted, he does pay the rent. I pay half, if not all of the utility bills depending on my income (I'm mostly a stay at home mom, but also have a house cleaner gig once or twice a month).

It upsets me that he doesn't do what I see as his fair share of parenting. Yeah, changing diapers is gross. No one WANTS to do it. I should know, she has been pooping twice as much since she started teething. He doesn't see her much with him working 5 days a week, but surely it's not too much to ask that I don't have to change every poop she does?

When I tried to bring it up with him, he said I attacked him with my shitty diaper comment and again brought up how he pays the rent without complaining.

He wants another child. I don't want to have another if I am going to be stuck wiping another ass for however many years.

I feel it's assholeish to compare paying rent to providing basic care for your child, but am I wrong? AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

No offense to you buy guys like this give the rest of us Dads a bad name. I don't care if he pays all the rent and works his ass off to do so, there is no excuse for not changing a dirty diaper. If there is one thing I can guarantee you will have to do to your child aside from feeding them, its changing a fucking diaper. Be a fucking man and do your job. ######


Prompt:
Ok...so, my girl and I are sitting on the couch watching some TV. She's on her phone wearing yoga pants and a Tshirt, basically laying on her stomach with her ass right next to me and her legs across my lap. I'm playing my Switch chilling.

Then suddenly she lets rip a massive ass clapping fart, and it smells fucking rotten. I naturally react without even thinking and say, "Goddamn!" and put my hand to my face and get up to go smoke a cigarette. Now, it wasn't my intention to hurt her feelings, but she clearly felt self-conscience and said her feelings were hurt. I apologized, but she says I should have just ignored it. Now, we have been together for a while, and yes we fart in front of each other and even laugh about it. But she basically farted right into my face full force and I just reacted. She thinks I'm a complete asshole, I apologized but said you know maybe don't shoot a fart right into my fucking mouth next time.

I got nothing against farts, but goddamn I did my best not to be a complete dick about it, and going out for a smoke seemed the best choice at the moment to let the air clear.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

My husband let off of a ripper in front of our 4 year old earlier and the look of disgust on his little face had me crying!

The topper was when he said "I just need some space after that" and ran to the other side of the room. So yeah hahaha ######


Prompt:
For the past 2 years me and my gf have been dating, she has never known what she wants to eat. Me or her sister can ask her what she wants and she will respond with "I'm not sure, what sounds good to you?" Then I'll begin listing off all the options around us fast food wise. She will proceed to tell me no on everything I say, to which I then start naming things we can buy at Walmart and she starts saying no to those things as we would have to "wait forever for them to cook" or she doesn't "feel like X meat"

This morning I'm going over the options again, and of course things play out about like this and she calls me mean for pointing out that she never knows what she wants.

AITA?

Edit: to respond to the person asking what I said, all I said was "you never know what you want to eat". I never get an attitude with her about it, and she knows I'm not mad. Or atleast I hope she does lol

Edit 2: it's a Christmas miracle, she said she wants pizza ######

Response:
 NTA.

My girl does the same so I make it easy.

I say: baby, you decided what to order or what you want me to make while I take a shower etc.
I’m the kind of guy that can go without food for a while, so she usually gives in and orderes something. ######


Prompt:
For the sake of the story I’ll call my friend Kate

So I’ve been friends with Kate ever since we were 11, we’re both 20 now and both women.

Kate came out as bisexual when we were 16 and obviously I was supportive of her.

It wasn’t until I was 18 that I started to question my own sexuality and decided that I was in fact bisexual.

Since then I haven’t told anyone about it mainly because I just wanted to keep it to myself and just really wasn’t comfortable with telling people yet

That was until last week I decided to bite the bullet and tell Kate about it over text

At first she was supportive telling me how happy she was for me until she started asking me if I was 100% sure and not just confused

I told her that I’m positive that I am and have known about it for years.

She then tells me that she just has a hard time believing it because she hasn’t seen me take an interest in girls (I definitely have and like I said, I kept it to myself) or talked about girls when I’ve talked about boys.

I told her that I just didn’t feel comfortable coming out and that I am attracted to girls and I just haven’t found the courage yet to ask out a girl

Long story short, we went back and forth a couple of times until she eventually told me that she feels like I’m “copying” her and just told her I was bisexual to sound cooler than I actually am (?) and that how she doesn’t appreciate me trying to steal her sexuality.

I eventually told her that I’m done with the conversation and that I’m going to bed and I haven’t spoke to her since.

I very much regret coming out to her and I still know that I’m bisexual but I can’t help but feel guilty and like a attention-seeking asshole ######

Response:
 NTA.

Kate needs to get over herself, she doesn’t get to have a monopoly on being bisexual and doesn’t get to police other people’s sexuality. Her reaction is immature and petty.

Don’t worry about her OP, you do you. 🌈🤍🌈🤍🌈 ######


Prompt:
I spend a lot of time either working from home or running my business from home so my wife and I decided I could use a spare room as my office. I turned it into a sort of library/office over the years and on top of all my bookcases and shelves I've placed models and figurines that I've made and or collected. [These are](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dz4xxb4WwAAavnL.jpg) examples of [some of the things](https://twitter.com/FinalFantasy/status/842760746463387648/photo/3) [that I have displayed](https://www.thewebernets.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/tech_seawater_03.jpg). None of my models of figurines are scantily clad women or dolls before you make that claim. Mostly planes and boats.

I still spend time with my family, I contribute to the household chores and I don't lock myself away in my office. My wife however said that all my models and such are childish and that she gets embarrassed when people come round to stay or visit. I pointed out that she's covered our bedroom in plushies and she said that's not the same. I was told to hide or get rid of the models and figurines, I refused so now she's refusing to talk to me.

We have 2 kids and they each have their own room, she also has a craft room where she does her dress making, sewing and cross-stitch things. ######

Response:
 Nta.

Its your office, with things you enjoy.
She could easily get around her perceived and non warranted embarrassment by simply not showing people around your office, especially since there doesn't seem to be a need for them to be there.

If you love the models, keep them. I have 4 glass cabinets of vintage military vehicle models the size of dinky cars. I love them. They're staying in my living room display where they belong. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I were doing long distance, so we didn’t get to see each other often. When everything was shutting down both our employers made it so we could work online. We thought this would be a good opportunity to get some quality time with each other. So I went to stay with her.

My sister found out recently and has asked if she and her daughter can stay at my place for the time being.

My sister and her daughter currently live with our parents and our younger sibling. Our parents are a bit pushy and very strict about keeping things tidy. My sister says it wasn’t so bad before, but after being stuck at home with them they are driving her completely crazy because they are getting on her about her parenting (niece she a bit ill mannered for her age). So she needs some space away from them.

My mom has since confirmed they are not getting along right now.

To be honest though I just feel uncomfortable with them staying there without me. So many things could happen without me there. Especially with a little kid running around. I mean so many things could happen with me there too, but at least I would be there to quickly take care of anything that goes wrong. Not saying she definitely would, but she would be able also to go snooping through all my things and I don’t like the idea of that.

When I told her it wouldn’t be possible she said I was being a dick and a sucky brother since I should have offered it two months ago when I left to live with my girlfriend in the first place and knew she didn’t get along with our parents. ######

Response:
 NTA.

It’s your place. Idgaf if she’s your sister. She should’ve gotten her own place too ######


Prompt:
My fiance(29m) and I(29f) are (world affairs permitting) getting married in October. This is my first wedding but his second. We are having a small wedding (50 people or so) after a short engagement because we both want to have multiple children, and we want to start trying as young as we can.

My fiance is friendly with his ex because they still have several mutual friends and are part of the same D&D group. I say friendly instead of being friends because we have had some issues with her and boundaries, such as her complaining that they dont have the level of communication that they did before, and getting annoyed that he didnt drop everything (cancel time with me) to support her on a bad day, and half a dozen other small moments that get blown up into things much bigger than they should be. I dont think she is doing this maliciously, I think she was just naive enough to believe that she would still be one of his best and closest friends after the divorce and is struggling with the reality of it. Because of her issue with boundaries, I decided very early on that I do not want her at the wedding. and my fiance supported me wholeheartedly. No issues there.

Here's where I worry we might be the assholes. After making our guest list we realized that we are inviting almost all of their mutual friends, except for his ex and her boyfriend(who is the man she left the marriage for but that is neither here nor there). Friends they made during the marriage, the entire D&D group, people his ex introduced him to...yeah. we made the list simply by inviting those people that we wanted at the wedding, but we did end up inviting everyone around her. I have no intention of extending an invite to her because I do not trust her to not make the day about herself, even if it is an asshole move, but are we the assholes for leaving her out of something everyone else is coming to? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It’s very possible her feelings may be hurt and there will be comments made to you and your fiancé about “excluding” her, but your wedding is about *you two as a couple* and the people you all want supporting *your* marriage, not about appeasing and entertaining people who (inadvertently or not) cannot maintain healthy boundaries and support your marriage. ######


Prompt:
I (17m) am the oldest son in my family. I have 4 younger siblings (14f, 8f, 5m and 2f). My mom expects me to watch my siblings when she isn't home. Needless to say, I'm tired of it. I never get to go to parties. Neither do I get to hang out with my friends. In fact, I hardly ever have time for myself. Last time I went on a date with my girlfriend and came home late, my mom got mad at me because I didn't change my youngest sister's diapers.

Today, my mom announced she's going to have another child. It's not that I don't want her to have a child, but I really don't want to watch another sibling. When I told my mom I'm tired of being a "babysitter" and that I won't watch her children, she called me selfish and an asshole for not being happy for her.

My aunt and grandma agrees with me but my dad said I was wrong and that I should be happy for him and my mom. My mom said I "hurt her feelings" and that she's disappointed in me.

But I said it's not my responsibility to watch her children.

That said, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It’s incredibly unfair to expect you to give up your childhood to be a father to your younger siblings. Why would you be excited to have a fifth charge to add to your responsibilities? I wouldn’t blame you if you resented your parents and cut them off after you move out, honestly. That’s definitely a toxic, if not abusive, situation. You’re their brother, not their father, and I can understand expecting you to help but your baby sister’s diapers are her responsibility, not yours.

I don’t feel like it’s ridiculous for you to express being unhappy at having another sibling. Someone else is having babies they expect you to put your formative years on hold to take care of, and anyone outside the situation should realize that unless you were calling names and cursing people out, you’re not an asshole for this.

I’m a parent. I would never expect my son to look after his sister with the same care that I would. It’s unreasonable and it isn’t his job to parent his siblings. Just like it’s not yours. ######


Prompt:
Hello fellow assholes, first off thank you for giving my some perspective on my previous post about me and my wife. It helped us start a conversation and reach a better position in our marriage.

My wives cousin let’s call her Sara wants to move in with us because she recently had her second baby and wants more room to raise her family. Both me and my wife were the first people to marry outside our races and we came from very different backgrounds. My wife is huge on family and I’m not so much.

My wives family has lived with us before her aunt lived with us lived with us for two years when she fell on hard times till she got a good job and moved out. Her other cousin lived with us for a year after getting out of prison until he also got a job and moved out, I was fine with all of this.

I am not ok with Sara moving in with us, Sara is a single mother of two kids who lives completely off government assistance, government housing, utilities, food stamps you name it. Tax dollars provide her entire life. She has been doing this for 7 years, has no job and does not intend to get one. I fully believe she just wants to live with us to have a bigger and better house and lifestyle. If she moves in she will never move out. She lives in low income New Jersey housing we live in a 6 bedroom in Minnesota.

She says he have the room and it’s our duty to help out family, I told her I’m not willing to help a grown woman who doesn’t want to help herself. So am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It's not your job to provide for her kids. If she wants a better life let her earn it. ######