Prompt:
So for the last 7 or so years, my two brothers and I have always shared a GameStop pro rewards account because it's just cheaper to do it like that. To make it fair, we rotate who pays the approx $20/year for it. This year it came time for renewal and my middle brother noticed that it really had been just him and I paying for it and my youngest brother never paid for it. I paid for it every two years and my middle brother paid for it the other years. So the youngest has been skipping out, but has been using the account.

We confronted him and told him that he needed to start paying his share. We let him know what day it was due and how much it was. Now in his defense, he does have a small child to take care of, but he always seems to have money to spend on other frivolous things like marijuana, paraphernalia, take out, etc so his excuse was kinda tossed out the windows. We told him pay his share or we're changing the number.

Last week, when the account came due (about a month later), I went in to get middle brother a gift for getting a promotion and they informed me that the program needs to be renewed within the next couple of days or it would cancel out. Rather than to risk it, I paid for it to renew it and changed the number. I called middle brother and informed him what the number was changed to so he could continue accessing it. Today I received a phone call from my parents fussing at me about how I shouldn't have changed the number and how he was going to pay me, and I should've just been more patient.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. He knew when the date was and still waited. Then he had your parents try to fight his battles.

 It's not too late for him to "prove" he was going to pay you anyway— once he gives you the money he can find out the number for the new account.

So if he really was going to pay, he has nothing to be mad about. He'll have the same access as always once he does what he said he was going to do. ######


Prompt:
Ok so I’ve been talking to the guy for a month or so, maybe longer, and we’ve made plans for a weekend before but he never texted back so the day came and went and I heard nothing. He said he was really sick and couldn’t let me know/forgot about it. I forgave him, moved on. YESTERDAY we agreed to meet up for coffee and I message this morning .... nothing. One hour before we were supposed to meet up he literally says “I’m at work” (that’s all) and then when I confronted him and got mad about it tonight, he starts saying that he has to work heaps because he’s helping his parents stay afloat, and they have no money and he’s working 70 hours a weeks, and he had to rush into work and didn’t have time to text. And then bringing up all the times he offered to come over at midnight and shit and I turned him down. He turned the whole argument back on me and I feel bad for attacking him but I also feel dumb for feeling bad...???
He’s the asshole, right?? Or am I being a bit of a bitch because he works heaps and I have more time off/don’t understand what it’s like working so much? ######

Response: NTA. He just wants to fuck, fam. If you want a date, you should probably find it somewhere else. ######


Prompt:
I got custody of my nephews when they were 4 and 6. Their mother and my brother were drug addicts and exposed them to terrible things. I put my life on hold at 30. I'm now 39. I did a damn good job re-raising those boys and they call me "dad." I am very proud of them. The youngest isn't my brother's biological child. They are amazing kids. I occasionally spoke with him, but wouldn't let him contact the boys because it would be too upsetting for them.

Both my brother and his girlfriend caught up in a drug case that went federal. Both got 10 years. Their mother is completely out of the picture. I have no idea where she is or if she is even alive, but supposedly she was released two years ago. My kids don't ask and don't care.

My brother got out this year. I don't keep tabs on him, but he recently reached out to me and asked me if I could send him pictures of the kids when they were younger and happier. He doesn't recognize them now (he saw them on social media). He says he regrets fucking up their early years. I thought about it and said no. They might be happy, funny, healthy, active and social kids but they do have scars because of my brother and his girlfriend. My logic is that as my kids must live with those scars, my brother should have to live with being completely blacked out of their lives. I have pictures and videos of them swimming with dolphins and jumping off waterfalls and scoring soccer goals. But those experiences would have been denied had they stayed with them. Plus I gave up A LOT to become a single dad to two kids at 30. I still sacrifice. ######

Response: NTA. He just wants pics of his kids looking happy so he doesn’t feel as bad about being such a fuck up. ######


Prompt:
We have been married for 4 years, with two kids ages 3 and under 1. I’ve been a stay at home mom by day, uni student by night and my husband was working full time but was furloughed back in March. Ever since having kids, and if I’m honest even before that, most of the housework has fallen on me. I’ve been saying things to him for years that I don’t feel he contributes equally and I’m tired of never having a break while he gets to come home from work and relax. Every conversation like this goes south because he takes it extremely personally and says I’m making him out to be a terrible husband and parent. I’ve told him that’s not what I’m saying but I *do* need more help around here. It’s been a very very slow progress.

 Since we’ve both been home these last few months the difference in work is glaringly obvious. It’s not that he does **nothing** because he definitely does help out, I just do a lot more. Again I try to have the talk, again I’m met with anger. So I told him I’m buying a chore chart. He was on board with it. Then when I put it up and he saw how I organized it he got mad. I put every single little tedious thing I do (“wash bathroom sink”, “wash toilet”, “wash kitchen sink”, “sweep x room”, “mop x room”, “towel laundry”, “bedsheet laundry”, “bathe kids”, etc etc) and color coded it so my husband and I each have a color and we initial the chores we do every day. He said it seemed petty, annoying, and like it’s just adding more work but I just don’t know how to get through to him exactly how much I do that he doesn’t do. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. He ISNT doing his share as a parent or partner.

He doesn’t like the chart because now he has to face that. ######


Prompt:
Since March 1, we are at home because of the Coronavirus and since the beginning of March that my 17-year-old brother stays up until 8am playing video games and wakes up at 8pm, I understand that there it's nothing to do, it's routine, but he spends the evening eating.

He barely having finished his supper that he opens the fridge and looks for something else to eat, and he does this every 1 hour until that he sleeps. He has gained weight, and does not go out for a short walk or even to do sports in the
house. We all tell him that it is not good for his health but he does not listen to anyone.

I then ordered a lock (luckily our fridge is 2 doors) lock the fridge after the dessert he has eaten after supper. He is very angry and says that it is abuse but I do this for his good, I intend to unlock it after some hours have passed at least.

AITA for doing that?
PS : Sorry for my english. ######

Response: NTA. He isn't paying for food, he can wait to eat until he is given permission. ######


Prompt:
I (21f) and my husband (23m) were at my family's house for Father's Day this past weekend. We were having a conversation about the family pets, and I had jokingly said that I would trade my husband's 12 year old Blue Heeler for my sister's 4 year old Chihuahua in a heartbeat.

Without hesitation, my husband proceeded to spill some of his glass of water on top of my head. He did this once before in front of my family (I teased him about looking at a girl walking by in front of our car even though I knew he wasn't) and he squirted me with his water bottle that time.

I told him back then that it was embarrassing and humiliating, that I felt like a dog being sprayed with water, especially in front of my family. Yet he did it again in front of my family, so I maintained what dignity I could by refusing to talk/look at him until I could regain control of my emotions.

He tried to apologize a half hour later, when it was clear that I wasn't letting it go. When I didn't accept, my family proceeded to tell me that I was an asshole for getting angry with him and "taking it too seriously."

No, I wasn't drenched either time, but it was shocking and embarrassing to suddenly have water poured on me. So, AITA for "overreacting"? ######

Response: NTA. He is treating you like a cat that gets squirted for scratching the couch. Very demeaning. Does he treat you like a child in other aspects of your relationship as well? ######


Prompt:
I’ll keep this short.

I’ve worked at a restaurant for a while and there’s this one guy that usually comes. We’ve casually chatted a bit and have a casual relationship. He’s hot. I’m not. He usually comes really late, I’ve talked to him twice in the parking lot after my shift ended. He also initiates and carries on these conversations, I’m not harassing him.

I decided to shoot my shot, after work today we were talking again and I asked him out. He said no. I was fine with this. I was about to accept that and leave, but after the initial rejection he went on about how he just couldn’t force himself to be attracted to me physically, “you’re a very nice girl but . . .” and all that jazz. I felt a little hurt by this because he could’ve just aid no, there was no reason to go off on my appearance, I already knew he wasn’t physically attracted to me after the first no. I felt he was being kind of condescending. He continued to “comfort” me afterwards, saying he was sure I would find a good guy, looks aren’t everything, to keep my head up, etc. It was also really embarrassing because his friend was there and could hear everything going on. He looked really awkward and uncomfortable.

I went home and was obviously pretty bummed. My brother noticed and asked why so I told him and he told me the guy was TA. I kind of ranted about it to to three of my friends in a group chat and they agreed there was no need to list the reasons why he wouldn’t date me. At the end I calmed down and said I was over it, we talked about other stuff.

I guess one of my friends must have told friends and apparently he found out, he reached out to me on social media and said I was a bitter bitch. AITA ######

Response: NTA. He is suck an a-hole. Here was no need to take it as far as he did, and really who cares what he thinks. Really you lucked out here. Now you know he is a douche and can move on to another.. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) paid for a vacation in the Bahamas at the end of July. His passport was expired so I nagged him for months to get it since we booked it in January. He didn’t do it until the beginning of March.

Today he called me from work upset... he checked on his passport because it still hadn’t arrived and the website had announcements asking people not to renew passports at this time and that anyone who does will experience several months’ worth of delays. I think the process is already a few months to begin with so he was cutting it close regardless.

I’m PO’d because I told him to do it in January and it somehow took him 2 whole months to actually do it. My brother (20M) cancelled his trip to Europe because it was coming up soon and everything is still closed, so he has his passport and told me he would go with me if my boyfriend can’t. It‘s a resort with water parks and stuff, not a romantic-getaway-type trip so I told him I’d take him if need be and pay my boyfriend back his half.

My boyfriend is playing the victim saying I’m making him feel worse and not picking him up when he’s down. I was kind of short on the phone with him and didn’t really offer much sympathy, but I didn’t pull the “I told you so” card or even bring up my brother. Honestly, though, I feel like it’s 100% his fault for not doing it when I did in January so I can’t decide if I would be horrible for taking my brother if his passport falls through. So I’ll leave it up to you random people.

WIBTA? ######

Response:
 NTA. He is learning unfortunate consequences.

And the good thing is he won't be out money, which is the silver lining. ######


Prompt:
My SO is 300 miles away with his family.

We live together on a ground floor apartment. I spent the weekend with him and his family and he asked me to keep the blinds closed when I go back to our city, to which I agreed because it seemed reasonable given the riots. When I actually came back to our city, around noon I went to grab lunch and noticed that the neighborhood was actually completely calm, safe and sunny. There is a peaceful gathering by city hall three blocks away, which I even joined for a few seconds and felt no danger. I opened the blinds back up after coming back home, at least until the streets are calm.

Not long after, he calls me up, tells me that his friends have noticed that the blinds were open and orders me to close them again. I explain to him why I opened them, seeing how I have more information about my safety that he does, but calmly agree to close them again.

This should have been it, but he proceeded to talk to me like "I knew you wouldn't listen" etc., at which point I blew and started yelling at the top of my lungs stuff like "stop treating treating me like a fucking child, that I can determine when I'm feeling safe better than you can over the internet" etc.

He says "I will never forgive you for yelling at me like that. Fuck you" and hangs up.

AITA? I actually apologized for yelling, but he's not having it and doesn't feel like he has anything to apologize for. ######

Response: Nta. He is being controlling and having a friend report on you to him is weird. Also the whole thing about knowing you wouldn't listen is a huge red flag. ######


Prompt: This is gonna be a short one. so i go to school with a guy thats obviously fit (sixpack and all the shit) That constantly says he's fat. I am ALOT overweight and weigh around 240 pound (112kg) and really hates it. today i just had enough and told him to shut the fuck up about being fat. am i the assholee for saying that? ######

Response: NTA. He is being astonishingly insensitive. He can perfectly well find someone else to dump his insecurities on who he won't be implicitly insulting with every word. ######


Prompt:
I (F24) live with my mom and we have a new neighbor (F45+) who moved in about 4 months ago. We do know her before she moved in and my mom is friends with her (they're both about 45+ yrs old) I actually really like her and she's pretty cool.

While we all were in quarantine (I stayed alone at home and my mom stayed with her bf) her son stayed at her place (he's 23)
They would invite me for coffee and if they baked something they would always bring me some (and vice versa) so it was pretty nice. The last neighbours had 3 screaming kids and It drove me insane so having adults that i can sit with and talk to is really nice.

The topic somehow came up and we talked about me being a tattoo artist. Her son got super excited and asked me if I could tattoo him, I said of course but once the quarantine is over. His mom got really upset and asked me not to tattoo him. She actually has 2 small tattoos and he has 1 or 2 that are kind of medium? She hates his tattoo and hers are pretty old and think she doesn't really like them anymore.(I offered her free of charge to fix one of them but she doesn't want to)

Anyway I dropped it.

Now we're here 2 months later and tattoo artists in my country got approval to tattoo again.
Yesterday he texted me he has a birthday tomorrow and he wants to drop by to get a tattoo and that he's also bringing his friends to get tattooed (which is amazing for me because I'm doing not very well financially due the quarantine)
I told him yes but I kind of feel guilty. I don't want his mom being upset with me because I really like her (I also take out her dog almost everyday) and I don't want her to be upset with me for tattooing him.

WIBTA if I tattoo him and without her knowledge? ######

Response: NTA. He is a grown adult, he can make his own decisions. I’m guessing that if she regrets her own tattoos, she’s asking you not to tattoo him so that he doesn’t regret his own tattoos. But I think that’s his own call to make; she can’t dictate what he does anymore. ######


Prompt:
I get food stamps. Not a lot but enough to pay for what I need and a little extra. Got a roommate a few months ago and everything was going great. Paid rent on time. Bought food and everything.

Now it's not so great. He doesn't buy food for the house he buys this minute microwave meals for himself which was fine. I still had my food. Well few weeks ago he lost his job and is supposed to start a new one soon. But I'm that time I been helping out by cooking a little extra and sharing what I had. Things have been right trying to pay our bills and food but not bad.

Well tonight kind of pissed me off. I had a late lunch and didn't feel like cooking yet so I was into my game and he rolls into the kitchen and starts cooking. And I mean actual cooking. I was kind of happy I wouldn't have to cook dinner ya know?

Boy was I wrong. I head him cleaning up so I got take a look and there's one plate LOADED with eggs bacon hash browns sausage and grits. So I asked where's mine and he says I didn't know u wanted any and walked off. I mean Not only did he use my food to make this meal he ate the sausages I had pulled out for me and him to share. I just don't know I'm so angry over this that it's got me shaking. So am I the Ass hole if I confront him about this tomorrow? Or should I let this go? ######

Response: NTA. He is 100% out of line ######


Prompt:
Basically, we both agreed it was not the time to have a child, as we’re both still in college, and not financially stable yet for a child. However, despite his immediate suggestion we not tell anyone, when the pregnancy was confirmed (his fear that a friend/family member of mine will convince me to keep it) I later found out he told his parents and brother. I am angry, as I am still coming to terms with accepting what I have done and I feel like he has broken my trust by telling this private matter to anyone. He believes he has a right to tell his family, but it doesn’t make sense to me why because he was more than eager for me to get the abortion and for me not tell my family.

Am the the asshole for being upset, and saying he doesn’t have the right to tell?

Had the procedure approx. 3 weeks ago

Edit: In addition to this, he is constantly saying I’m pregnant, commenting on my body, which not only makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me, as I gained about 20 pounds, which I felt like I have since lost. Almost daily he says he’s stressed or anxious I’m pregnant. Today I finally gave in and took another pregnancy test, (I am on birth control pills and we have not had sex). This for some reason caused me to get extremely upset, and feelings of guilt about the abortion.

AITA for getting upset about taking another pregnancy test? Is there something wrong with me

Edit: he has since told me he told them, because he needed money. (The abortion was already paid). ######

Response:
 NTA. He insisted on the secrecy because he didn’t want anyone influencing your decision except him, and in doing so, he cut you off from potential sources of support when he had no intention of playing by his own rules. You have every right to be angry.

And he’s been making comments on your body? No, no, no.

Have you confided in any friends yet? You deserve support, and it does not sound like you will get that from your BF as he’s made you responsible for his anxiety as well. ######


Prompt:
    So for a little bit of back ground, Me(18F) and my friend (18M) who we’ll call John for the sake of this, dated back in middle school and ever since then we’ve had a rough on and off friendship. He’s asked me out over a dozen times even when he’s had other girlfriends and he still hasn’t taken the hint, he constantly asks for sex from me and I’ve humored the idea once or twice thinking he was joking. But apparently he wasn’t.

   He has been dating this girl who we’ll call Jane. They have been off and on and throughout most of their relationship and I was NC with John for about six months due to other issues. But back to the story, yesterday he texted me asking for a handjob or a blowjob because he was bored so I asked him if he was being serious and he said yes, and I asked him if his gf knew about this and he said no. Then I commented that I had more respect for his gf who I’ve never met than he does.

   Later that night I decided to say fuck it and used my friends fake account to text her saying that he’s been trying to sleep with me and that it’s been like this for a while. He then texted me frantically begging me not too and that he loves her and he’ll do anything for me to not tell her. Then he started texting my friend begging her not too. I don’t think I’m quite the A-hole here because I was in the same situation and I never would have known that my ex was cheating on me if nobody had told me, aita? ######

Response:
 NTA. He has been pestering you repeatedly for years despite you constantly saying no. He has also been like this whilst with several different girls. Texting you out of the blue asking for sexual favours is just disgusting and this behaviour is disrespectful to you and the girls he is dating.

If he loved his girlfriend he wouldn’t do this. He probably loves the sex but not his girlfriend. This guy has a seriously worrying attitude towards women and thinks he can treat them as sexual playthings. His girlfriend deserves to know exactly how much of a cretin he is, and he deserves to learn that actions have consequences. Accepting this behaviour and ignoring him has not solved the issue. ######


Prompt:
A little backstory:
I wanted to get a new gaming chair for my office, and I needed to get rid of my old office chair. It cost me about 130 five years ago, and it’s held up really well all the time. It’s one of those soft leather ones with arm rests, and it leans back pretty far. That part is important.

My boyfriend also has an office chair that he uses while playing ps4 in the living room. He bought it from a friend for about 30 dollars, and it’s not as comfortable or nice as my old one. It’s made of hard plastic, has some weird mesh for a seat, and isn’t as wide.

I planned to offer my old office chair to my little brother who just started online school, but since it’s nicer than my boyfriend’s, I asked my boyfriend if he’d want to give his to my brother and take my old one. He agreed. I asked several times if he was sure, and even told him we could always trade them back if he didn’t like mine, but after a couple weeks he admitted mine was way more comfortable.

Here’s where the trouble starts. My boyfriend is a pretty muscle-y guy, he’s lifted weights for years and weighs somewhere around 230. He also loves to lean back hard in the chair when he’s gaming, especially when he’s drinking too. A couple weeks ago, after having the chair for a few months with no issues, he leaned back and the arm snapped. It didn’t break off and he seemed to think it was pretty funny, but tonight he finally broke it.

Now he says I owe him a new chair because his old one never would’ve broken, and that I “made” him trade me. I told him that I never made him do anything and gave him plenty of chances to change his mind, and that he is the one who broke it by being so rough on it. I’m broke and in school right now, so I couldn’t really afford get him a new chair even if I wanted to, but I don’t think this is on me.

So, am I the asshole for telling him that I don’t owe him a new chair? ######

Response:
 NTA. He had time to think about the trade and accordingly agreed to it.

Don't give the old chair back to your bf since your bro needs it for online schooling.

The situation sucks but your boyfriend wasn't careful with your chair and broke it. ######


Prompt: So i was spending time with my mom today and my best friend decided to call me. i had headphones on luckily so i picked up and she seemed somewhat off during the conversation. while talking to her she kept moaning and sighing more and more often and said her boyfriend was fingering her while i was on the call. she then abruptly hung up and i felt so uncomfortable and violated that i didn't really know what to do. i texted her saying it made me uncomfortable and she said "my boyfriend made me do it" and she was sorry. so i texted her boyfriend and let him know that the call made me feel weird and uncomfortable and that i didnt find it funny at all. he replied and said "well i found it hilarious" with an unnecessary picture of my friend in nothing but her underwear. i was disgusted with him and carried on with my day but was still appalled by their choice to call me. she called me a few hours later profusely apologizing and taking accountability for what they did, which i appreciated but i discovered that her boyfriend took her phone and called me specifically and put me on speakerphone while he was fingering her and the phone was out of her control. she defended his action and told me he was sorry but i told her that if he was sorry then i could hear it from his own voice. i am still upset with them  both for her defending her boyfriend's action by saying "i think he's sorry and he was just trying to be kinky" and him for calling me in the first place and not taking accountability for his own actions. AITA for still being upset? ######

Response: NTA. He forcibly made you participate in his kink without your consent. That is never okay and if your friend was any kind of friend at all she wouldn't be defending such awful behavior. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway, mobile,  all that jazz.

Tonight I was a Suspicious Sally and checked my husband's text messages from his smart watch. I see a series of messages to an unsaved number and while they're not explicit they essentially allude to wanting to meet up again. The weird thing is that it only displayed one side of the conversation, the responses from my husband's phone.

I confronted him and he insisted that he didn't know what I was talking about. I get his watch and show him. He shows me his phone and says they aren't in there so he's not sure why they're on his watch.

I pulled up our text history from our phone carrier and it very clearly shows sent and received messages from that number today. I searched the past 90 days (as far back as it goes) and there weren't any other matches (just today).

Then I Googled the number and it shows that it belongs to an escort. He says that proves that he's innocent because how could he get away with paying for it? And as for an affair,  when would he have time. I manage the money and watch it like a hawk so I definitely would notice it. But he could certainly have credit that I'm not aware of.

He hasn't been defensive,  just confused and agrees that it's fucked up and he'd be pissed if reversed.

So Reddit, AITA for not believing him/being suspicious? ######

Response: NTA. He easily could have deleted the messages from his phone not realizing they would stay on the watch. ######


Prompt:
Last week my BIL was arrested for domestic assault. He is out pending a hearing and is at my house because he isnt allowed near his wife for minimum 30 days. All day he has been whining about it and I told him off. He got drunk and threw something at her head and pinned her against the wall. He deserves what he gets imho. I dont want him here as we should be helping his wife and kids at this point not him but my husband is a softy about his brother and begged me to let him stay. I'm angry that he thinks this is all inconveniencing him. Husband says in being a jerk about it but I think I'm being fairly nice all things considered.

So AITA for not being more hospitable? ######

Response: NTA. He doesn't deserve hospitality. He did this to himself. ######


Prompt:
This happened on Valentine's day, but it's still on my mind. For context, we're 24/25 years old and had only been dating for 2 months at this time. We've since broken up.

Anyways, I had a pretty gnarly upbringing and as a result don't see myself having children. My boyfriend at the time was aware of my childhood. On Valentine's day, we had plans for the evening but were hanging out at his place during the day. We got into a conversation about our parents, and I mentioned offhandedly that something they did was one of the reasons that I don't particularly want kids. BF at the time was clearly shocked and upset by this and ignored me for awhile. He then...chastised me? That's what it felt like, at least, about ruining the day by bringing up such a sensitive topic on Valentine's day. We did end up going to dinner, but it was awkward and unpleasant because he was still cold shouldering me and clearly upset.

I ended the day feeling really ashamed and embarrassed, and like I was the asshole even though I didn't intend to ruin the day.

Was I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. He didn't know you didn't want kids and you didn't know he wanted kids. It's 2 months in a relationship. He overreacted and no one should be shamed into not wanting children or forced into having any. ######


Prompt:
So I (28 F) have been with my bf (30 M) for over 8 years. Recently I’ve had Some problems with mental health issues and have been getting help for it. I’ve been keeping a diary to help me express what I’m feeling.

I’ve explicitly told my bf that it’s filled with private thoughts about myself and that I don’t want him reading it, and that if it’s about him, I’ll always come to him, but for now I just need a safe space to vent my thoughts.

It’s been about 7 months since I started writing in it and it’s help, but now I think he’s been reading.

Not only have I told him multiple times that’s it’s not his business as well as I’m entitled to some privacy, I’ve noticed that he’s been acting like he knows what I’ve written. For example

If I wright about how I don’t like how my legs look? He’ll start complimenting them the next day!

It’s been a few weeks and I’ve started to notice a pattern, but I didn’t want to outright say anything because

A. I’ve told him multiple times not to read my diary and
B. It may just actually be a coincidence

So to catch him in the act, I put in my diary that I was thinking of cheating on him, and I had a date that night at McDonald’s with some dude. Knowing my bf he would either confront me then and there or show up at the McDonald’s to confront me

I wanted to teach him a lesson not to read my things so when the time came, I told him I was going to McDonald’s.  He let me go and when I got there I put a sign I made on the table that said

“Caught you” and “why did you read my diary”

When he showed up to the McDonald’s to “confront me” he got pissed because I lied to him and made him think I was cheating.

I told him that he also lied by not admitting he read my dairy. He’s now pissed at me and I just want to know, AITA?

TLDR ; I tricked my bf into thinking I was cheating so I could prove he was reading my diary, then he got pissed at me when he fell for it. ######

Response: NTA. He deserved it for reading your diary. That's invasive as fuck and he had no right to read it. ######


Prompt:
Ok so this happened years ago and apparently I am still dark on the subject so good people of Reddit let me know AITA?

I lived in a share house where all flat mates paid equal rent. One flat mate used the garage on the property to store his motorcycle (the rest of us had cars so parked on the road or in the driveway). Anyway one weekend I had organised a party and not wanting to create mess in the house told my flat mates me and my friends would drink in the garage... they agreed that was fine (and were invited to join the festivities) anyway the one flat mate who had the motorcycle in the garage said ‘I’ll move my bike out for the night so it doesn’t get knocked over”. All good wouldn’t really have been in danger but I get it. So he goes to wheel his bike out of the garage and while doing so smashes the brake light. He then says I need to pay for it as it’s my fault he had to move it. If I hadn’t organised a party he would not have had to move it so it’s on me to pay to replace the brake light.

I disagreed as we all pay equal rent so I have as much right to use the garage as he does and it was his decision to move the bike out for the night. He wasn’t happy with that and after talking to my Dad (I was only 19 at the time) I reluctantly agreed to pay for a new brake light.

Years later I still think he was a total dick about it and I shouldn’t have had to pay up. So reddit AITA for thinking he was totally unreasonable and taking advantage of the situation? ######

Response: NTA. He damaged his own bike and you’re right, you can use the garage as much as he can. ######


Prompt:
Just before COVID I movies into an apartment with someone I knew through a friend. He’s a really great guy and I pay half the rent, and as long as I pay my half, he cannot enter my room. This is just because I am a very private person, and is nothing personal against him. A few days ago I had gone shopping, and returned to find him searching through my files on my computer in my room, with my closet door opened. I ask him what he’s doing and he gets mad at me for having firearms (I had both real and airsoft in my closet) and certain applications and files on my computer. I told him that he couldn’t go through my stuff as per our agreement, which was written on paper and signed by both of us. He claimed that it was void as I has not payed my half. I pulled up my banking app and showed him that I had indeed payed my half. He got very defensive and claimed that he was not going to have “illegal items” in his apartment (All of my firearms were legal) or a “gay motherfucker” living with him (I’m Pansexual, he looked through my files and history on multiple applications and websites). Many of these files and web application histories contained very personal things which not even my family or closets friends knew, including alternate and private accounts. Currently I have no other places to stay, and have since installed a personal lock onto my door. He hasn’t apologized or said anything to me for the past few days. I told him that unless he apologized I would be pressing charges for privacy invasion.
AITA in this situation? ######

Response: NTA. He crossed the line simply by entering your room. ######


Prompt:
I was always chubby. As a kid, a teen, adult. I got rid of my scale years ago but my mother bought me a new one because she noticed I didn't have one.

I was 145 when I got pregnant with my oldest child (BMI was 25.8 which isn't terrible.) And 175 after giving birth to the youngest. So almost 5 years ago, I set a target to be 145 again.

Took me over a year but I did it. I was pretty fucking happy. Told DH and he smirked and said "oh I thought your goal was 132." I actually burst into tears. Told him that bothered me immensely and to not make fun of this because it's an issue for me and he knows it.

I was no longer happy with my weight because of it. It took nearly another year until I got down to 132.

Then DH said "oh wasn't your goal 122?"
So I tried but couldn't do it and it messed me up for like 8-9 months. Then I refocused, changed my habits and somehow accomplished it. I hadn't been in the 120s ever in my adult life.

He said "oh wasn't your goal 115?"
So I lost another seven pounds.

And then he said "your goal should really be 88 lbs." I'm obviously not doing this, but I also can't be happy about the 60 lbs I did lose, and that I've maintained this weight for over a year now.

DH says I "can't take a joke." I say "it's not a joke if you know something is a trigger for the other person and you say it anyway." And then double down. Repeatedly.

I really need some outside perspective. AITA or am I just oversensitive like he claims?

Tl;dr lost weight, husband "joked" I needed to lose more. Lost more, he set a new "joking" target. Then did it again. And again. ######

Response: NTA. He could MAYBE have thought it was a joke the first time, but after it clearly bothered you there’s no excuse for him to repeatedly mention a new, lower “goal” weight. He sees how this “joke” affects you, and yet he continues to make the same comments. Please don’t feel pressured to conform to any “goal” he sets on YOUR body. Your goal weight should be what you feel healthiest and most comfortable at. You’re not overreacting, he’s just TA. ######


Prompt:
AITAH I told  my husband he was a dick for giving me a workout dvd

Okay, minor AITAH but... I’m 8 months pregnant & we are going thru everything that was in our new nursery.  I(31F) asked him(36M) (husband) to go thru the dvds I:e tooons (those HUGE CD holders) of bootleg movies, porn, past boxing & UFC fights ETC. music too...
but he found a workout (golds gym or something I never signed up for)& he said ‘you might want this’
I called him an asshole (I’m in my 9th month of pregnancy & a little sensitive about my body) but I reacted & he told me it was ‘only for after’ but I was still hurt & I said some mean things ... AITAH? ######

Response: NTA. He could have asked IF you wanted it, if he had to say anything at all. ######


Prompt:
I actually met Dani all the way back in 2008 and I must admit I had a big crush on him. We were kids so what ever. I moved then I went back to home town to visit people and met Dani. We began to talk and strung up a relationship. It was nothing serious. He would come visit me and we would spent weeks together.
I also know the sister pretty well since she was also there in 2008. But she has a strained relationship with Dani. I like her because she is funny and we have had a consistent friendship since 2008.

So one day we went to eat something all together and his sister later pulled me aside and told me she found out that Dani had a girlfriend. He hadn't told his sister or me. Of course I was enraged and ended things with Dani then and there and spent the rest of my time there with his sister. And I kept being her friend. That all happened on 2017. He is now married to his girlfriend. Apparently Dani had a falling out with one of his old friends who told his now wife about him cheating on her with me. She texted me to know if it was true and I said yes. She was very hurt and asked me if we have seen each other since. I said no truthfully. She asked me why I am friends with his sister then. I told her because I like her. She started berating me. Later that night Dani texted me, apologized but asked if I could keep away from his sister. I said no. It has nothing to do with him. Her and I are just very good friends and we both talk more that his sister and him in a year. We spent Christmas and new years together. He accused me of keeping her in my life to keep tabs on him. Seriously? I don't care about him. I am happily in a relationship and his sister and I never talk about him.

Still some fríe ds say that they understand his pov. I don't see it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He cheated not his sister and she was the one that told you so you could end it. He can deal with whatever fallout between him and his wife but he doesn't get to decide who his sisters friends are. He shouldn't have cheated and this wouldn't be a problem for him. ######


Prompt:
My BF (30) and I (26) work in the IT industry. I work overseas (Germany) so we were in a long distance relationship for a while. We were living together so when I left the country, our place was left under his name. I send him money to pay half of the bills and everything was fine.

First quarter of 2019, his mom died and a month after that, his grandpa whom he's really close with. To make matters worse, the company he works for really sucks and his boss was a dick. He was so stressed out, he would rant about it everyday. Our video chats start and end with his rants. I told him to take a break if he wants to, since my paycheck was enough to cover both our bills. I asked him if he wanted to come and live with me in Germany, and eventually look for a job here. He agreed and he stayed at my place, with me paying ALL of the bills.

Last quarter of 2019, I got sick and was forced to resign. I promised myself I'll look for a new job once I'm well. We started living off my savings. After taking a break for 3 months, I decided to look for a new job but then the coronavirus outbreak came.

I told him to look for a job, but he says he's not ready yet. I just said okay. It's actually fine with me if I'm the one working but what I hate about him is he NAGS me every damn day if there's an update regarding my job application. I snapped and told him that he should look for a job himself. He got mad and told me I was the one who asked him to quit anyway, saying it's my fault that he's now jobless. ######

Response: NTA. He can't claim he's jobless because of you after you asked him to quit a year ago. He's had plenty of opportunity to look, and he really should be looking instead of nagging you. ######


Prompt:
I've been in between on the issue. I love animals so maybe that's clouding my judgment.

My close friend's brother is Autistic and is classified as high functioning. She's his roommate but will be moving out in June. They have a cat who is a sweetheart. When I sleepover she's my cuddle bug. Sake of the story I'll call her Fluff. For some reason her brother says Fluff is his cat but yells at her constantly for small things like sitting on the sofa, sniffing his clothes, ect. I was disappointed to hear my friend wasn't taking Fluff when she moves out. Her brother just found a potential roommate whose allergic to cats. They plan on giving Fluff away now. Her brother knows this but constantly tells everyone who comes into the house they're getting rid of her because she's a terrible cat. I try to change the subject or leave but he keeps saying it. Well now he's topped it by saying he hopes someone adopts her when she's in the 'pound' but if no one does and she gets euthanized he'll understand. I've tried to shrug this off and say it's his disorder, but the way he treats Fluff and the way he's acting was hurting me I snapped and told him Fluff is leaving for his new roommate, not because she's 'bad', she'll likely find a way better loving home with an owner who actually deserves her. My friend has scolded me for this by reminding me he can't help what he's saying and refuses to let me back in her place until I shape up. Was I wrong here Reddit? ######

Response: NTA. He can help what he's saying. High functioning autism doesn't cause animal abuse. Many people with autism lead rich, fullfilling lives, and those that have high-functioning often blend right in. They've just got a unique way of seeing things aren't them. It doesn't cause them to be horrible pet owners. This guy is simply an asshole. ######


Prompt:
My brother is big into activism, especially about racial identity. He talks a lot about white privilege and stuff like that. Fyi, we are Indians from Kashmir, and I'd say our entire family honestly looks pretty white-- pale skin, colored eyes (which is somewhat common in Kashmir/north India, I think), and hair that's more brown than black.

Anyways, he was writing an essay for the school paper, which for whatever reason publishes even during summer break, and he wanted me to proofread it, as he considers me a better writer than him. He has a line where he says, 'as a person of color, I've often felt judged for my brown skin'. This stood out to me, because *our skin isn't brown.* It's pale af. Like the color of milk. So I told him he should remove it. He asked why, and I told him, 'bro, you basically look white. We \[our family\] all do. Our teachers are shocked when they hear our names, so are our neighbors and everyone we know. Everyone will cringe if you keep this.'

He got defensive and started denying this, then stormed off angrily. I was just proofreading like he asked, and just told the truth to try to help him out-- he looks white af, and to act like he's dark skinned makes me cringe. And I think it'll make other people cringe too. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He can claim to be a person of color all he wants but to say his skin is brown when it's not is something strange to be fixated on. He can talk about people's reactions when he says his name. ######


Prompt:
I know this sounds stupid; but hear me out. My (26f) husband (26m) works over 60+ hours a week, he’s in a second step manager position (he’s like second in charge), he purposely schedules it this way so his other associates don’t have to work 12+ hour days and instead he takes those hours to be nice to them because of whatever sob story they give him.

We have two boys under 3 that are missing and needing their dad, he sees them for maybe 1.5 hours a day before he showers and leaves.

His health is starting to get bad, he’s not eating much, and I’m worried he’s going to start getting ulcers or a heart attack from how stressed he is. Plus his temperament has been really aggressive.

He promised me that in the new schedules he would take only 40 hours, and work on his health and bond with the kids. And tonight he calls me and tells me not to be mad but he has to take more hours again because it’s unfair that so and so has to do more than their 8, but it’s somehow okie doki for him to work himself to death!

So I told him that I was really upset he went back on his word, and that it makes me feel like he doesn’t respect my opinion; he said I was being jerk and he’s working to support the family.

I work too and I can easily get more hours to account for whatever he feels we’re lacking on his paycheck, plus our savings is great! We could seriously survive for a couple of months on just my paycheck alone, we’d just have to cut our junkfood, buying movies on iTunes, and Ubereats.

Am I TA here for getting upset? ######

Response:
 NTA. He basically blamed you for his inability to keep a promise.

I don't make promises unless I know I can keep them. Sometimes that frustrates people, but it's better than making myself a liar.

Don't be too hard on him though, a lot of company cultures encourages this kind of behavior, he needs to realize there's more important things in life than working and money.

Right now he's missing watching his kids grow up, he's neglecting his family and his wife. He doesn't want to wake up ten years from now alone and then suddenly realize how badly he fucked up. ######


Prompt:
I (17f) have an uncle (17m). I've never viewed him as an uncle since he's the same age as me.

Now the little shit finds it hilarious to address me as niece whenever we meet and insists that I call him uncle. Family is very meh about it but mostly on his side. "You address your other uncles as uncles, why not him? He's your grandfather's son as well, he deserves that title from you just as much as Uncle X,Y and Z do". Except Uncles X,Y and Z are all around my mother's age, so 20-30 years older than me, not the same age.

He really put on the waterworks the last time, and now I'm really the asshole for making him feel left out by not calling him "uncle" and not responding when he says "niece". I've been disinvited from a few family gatherings because I refuse to bow down.

Well, in order to get on some of my family's good side I posted a family pic taken on my birthday. In the caption I said thank you to Aunties X,Y,Z and Uncles X,Y,Z. Except this time I put him as an uncle. I thought this would tide them over since captioning him as an uncle is easier for me than calling him uncle to his face. My close friends know my family dynamics, but the people I don't really know well? They genuinely thought we were cousins of some sort.

When I put him as uncle, people kinda went crazy. At first they kept saying I accidentally put him as an uncle and when I didn't reply he started getting messages like "omg is OP really your niece?" and "so OP's grandpa is your dad?", "all of your siblings are like in their 40s".

Yeah I basically blew up his entire friend group with that one pic. He's not talking to me and is pretty pissed. ######

Response: NTA. He asked you to call him "uncle". You did so. Maybe not in the context he was asking for, but he doesn't get to insist that you call him uncle in one setting, and keep it a secret elsewhere. Also why is it embarrassing to him if he is he same age as his niece? It just means that he is much younger than one of his siblings, and that sibling had kids at a relatively young age. So what? ######


Prompt: Im m, 23, and im currently staying with my mom until I can get my own place again. Shes bipolar and on disability, and has been manic off and on for some time. She also has been having some paranoia. For a while, things got so bad that she came into my room 2 or 3 times an hour all night long, for multiple days. She had all kinds of paranoid reasons to justify this, such as a man's face appearing in her phone, people were out to get her, etc. I tried handling it as kindly as possible at first, but I have my own mental health issues and it got to the point where I was literally unable to sleep. So, I grabbed a couple of crutches we had laying around and braced my door shut with them to keep her out. Its literally become my nightly routine. In fact, she just tried coming in a few minutes ago, and it's going on 2 am here. On a Wednesday. Shes insisting that I am making everyone in the house "unsafe" by bracing my door shut, bc I sometimes have my window open and if someone came in through it I would be unable to leave the room quickly, would be silenced, and then everyone in the house would be screwed. I feel like this is paranoid nonsense, and shes just pissed that I stopped her from being able to barge in at all hours of the night whenever she feels like it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Having doors closed actually makes you safer in a fire btw ######


Prompt:
My daughter, 10 months old has recently started biting during breastfeeding. When she starts to bite, I simply tell her "no" and put her down immediately. I only started doing this recently because my breasts kind of look like a war zone- I'm bleeding and sore because of the biting and simply cannot take it anymore.

Instead I've been pumping, but even that is extremely painful until I let my breasts heal. Instead I've been doing a mix of pumping and formula. My husband does not like this. He was okay with me pumping and feeding our daughter until I started supplementing with formula. He believes that breastmilk is best and formula is the devil because it's not "natural" or something. At this age, I'm giving her milk around 4-5 times a day, and still attempt to breastfeed once or twice a day.

It reached the tipping point yesterday when he hid the formula so I'd have "no choice" but to breastfeed our daughter.

I ask him why he's doing this, and he simply says he doesn't think I'm not trying hard enough because I stopped simply because she's biting me, and that a good mother wouldn't stop doing what's best for her child simply because she's in pain. ######

Response:
 NTA. Have her bite HIS nipple and see how much his pain isn't a big deal.

Also, you don't need a justification to discontinue breastfeeding, regardless. Even if you just didn't feel like it anymore.

Edited to add: FWIW, my husband thinks hiding the formula was a scummy thing to do. ######


Prompt:
I've been there for about 4 years. I can handle the run-of-the-mill "are you fucking incompetent/learn to do your job/etc" side-handed shit from customers.

Several months back I answered the phone and the customer asked if "that one n***** was working because [they] wanted to make sure the food wasnt fucked with and made correctly"
With roughly 10 years of food service, I have *never* "fucked with" anyone's food (like spit or anything intentional or nasty). That shit is unacceptable to me. However, mistakes in the kitchen happen, well all make them.
Naturally, I asked them to repeat themselves cause I didnt catch it. When they did I responded (very unprofessionally) "well, that's exactly who the fuck you are talking to so come on down here and say that shit to my face." Not much happened from it, had a conversation about not talking shit to the customer bc then they can bitch and moan that I was rude, and while they understand why and would be compelled to do likewise, it just ain't worth stooping to their level. Understandable.

I said at the time something along the lines of "I agree and won't tell them off, but the next time someone refers to me or another coworker as that. I will be leaving. I'm not paid to have customers refer to me as that."

It happened again today, and they could have been referring to either myself or another coworker of mine. Either way, hung up the phone, took off my hat/uniform, tossed my money on the office desk, and left. Obviously incredibly upset.
I do feel bad for leaving them high-and-dry. But whatever shred of self-worth I have left, knows that shit is not something you could pay me enough to tolerate from a customer.

Am I the asshole for putting my friends and other coworkers in a tough spot because of it? Cause, yeah, it's an asshole move.

EDIT: My coworkers definitely understand why I quit. They are upset that I did, but they 100% have had my back for years. ######

Response: NTA. Hate speech like the N-word is not the same as talking shit or just plain being rude. Nobody should have to tolerate hate speech. ######


Prompt:
Hi reddit, I(23m) am a cosplayer, and i attend many local events. Anyway, there was one cosplay that I did where I was a woman(Brazil Escola), and I wore a ton of makeup and a wig. Because i already look pretty feminine, I looked almost like a woman.

I eventually saw my friend(24f), who didn’t recognize me at first, and i didn’t know that she was going to be here today. She told me that cosplaying as a woman was disrespectful and that that I shouldn’t have done that. I told her that she needs to stop being sensitive and i’m not doing anything wrong. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Has your friend never heard of female impersonators or drag queens?!  Let’s outlaw Rupaul while we’re at it. ######


Prompt:
I was babysitting my 7yo nephew and he wanted to paint. His parents bought him an easel and paint. All I was ever told was the painting had to be outside. We went outside and his easel and supplies were on the hardscape and not the grass, I figured that's where he painted.

Of course he got some paint on the hardscape, but I assumed it could rinsed off. I was wrong. My sister had a fit and asked me why I let him paint on the hardscape. I told her the easel was on the hardscape and assumed that's where my nephew does his art. She said it was always on the grass and maybe their gardener moved it to cut their grass.

She ended up paying someone $70 to clean of the paint and then handed me the bill to pay. I told her that she had a nerve especially when I was sitting him for free. ######

Response: NTA. Hand her a bill for $70 for babysitting and tell her it’s a wash. ######


Prompt:
Hello, I am relatively young and my first language is English so flame me if I get anything wrong.

Recently I dated this girl and everything was fine at first, I let her use my belongings (My drawing pad, hoodies and some other items) under the condition that I would get them back eventually. I never asked for the items back when we were dating because I didn’t really have any use for them.

After we broke up, I asked her if I could have the items back and she said sure, I waited 2 days for her to return them but during that period I heard rumours that she was planning to destroy the hoodies and the other stuff, I confirmed this from mutual friends and I asked again if I could have them back but this time she laughed in my face and told me that I would never get them back.

I didn’t know what to do after that so I told her I would call the police for theft, she told me to calm down and she returned the items the next morning.

I got called out for it afterwards because I apparently over reacted and scared the shit out of her, so I was wondering, AITA?

TL:DR
Ex had my stuff, refused to give it back so I threaten to call the police for theft ######

Response: NTA. Had she not returned the items it would be theft. If she was scared because of the consequences of her actions maybe she’ll think twice next time. ######


Prompt:
I have a friend, we'll call him Ted, who I have been friends with since freshman year of high school. We're both 22, and I have a younger sister who is 17.

For the past few weeks, Ted has been making the same remark that my sister is turning 18 very soon. They're not the worst comments in the world, but it's still weird to me. He used to make them in front of my sister, but I told him to stop. Now he just brings it up around me. Here's where the problem kind of really happens.

A bit ago, Ted straight up asked me if it was okay if he could start dating my sister when she turned 18. I straight up told him no. He got upset and said "Ok but why not? She'll be legal." I told him no again, and if he kept asking or even tried, I would terminate our friendship.

See the thing with Ted, he's never had a girlfriend before, and is always ragging on women not wanting to date him. So I'm fairly certain I know why he wants to date her. But my sister isn't even interested nor does he like Ted. She tolerates him because he's my friend.

Ted got real upset when I threatened to end our friendship. He keeps bringing up now that she'll be an adult and she can make her own decisions and even if she doesn't want to date him, I don't need to end it on something so trivial. But I don't think it's trivial. This is my sister we're talking about, I told him. And that if they were to somehow get together and then break up, our friendship would probably end anyways.

AITA??? ######

Response:
 NTA. Guys who wait until girls are "legal" and then immediately pounce on them are creepy. It's so normalized too. When I was growing up there were countdown websites for the Olsen twins, Britney Spears too I think, and there were similar sites for Emma Watson, and I think Millie Bobby Brown already has websites dedicated to counting down her 18th birthday. This guy has been making comments to you about it for "a while" and who knows how long he was planning to it before that.

"Technically it's not illegal," is not something you want to hear when starting a relationship. And if this guy is "ragging on women" to you, when/if your sister rejects him, do you really think he'll show more restraint and maturity? My guess is no. Your friend doesn't seem to take rejection well. And you seem to think rejection is pretty likely. ######


Prompt:
Me and my partner relocated temporarily for work due to COVID-19 to a regional town and continue to pay rent on our city house for us to return to which will be a week today.
My partners sister and boyfriend were offered the house to stay in for the duration of our absence under the terms they needed to be ready to leave when we return (is giving them updates on news of our return so they could prepare to leave by the time we come back) because they had nowhere to go even though they both have $50,000 saved and regular government money coming in. During the whole three months they have not answered one of my call but have answered my partners . It came to a head today when a week ago my partner queried why they aren’t answering my calls to which she said for me to call anytime, I tried calling her again today and low and behold she didn’t answer. My partner called them to inform them we would be back soon and to check in about how ready they are to leave and it appears they have only just started looking for accomodation and work and I’ve blown my top. I feel disrespected and I demanded that my partner tell them they have two days after we come back to leave or I would leave myself now my partner is upset with me.

Have I acted irrationally? ######

Response:
 NTA. Guidelines were clear, they had to go when you were coming back. You've been keeping them up to date constantly. I love how they've been ignoring your calls so they can pretend they weren't informed.
But its your place you are listed on the lease not them. They need to go, you gave them ample time. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account.

For my grandmother's birthday I made her a triple layer chocolate cake. I spent all day looking for every ingredient so I could make it special and from scratch, because of how many layers it had it took me a few hours to make. When the cake was done I was proud of my work (I'm not the best cook) and I thought it was pretty good besides being a bit on the dry side. But hey I really did try to make it good.

Soon as I show it to her she begins to criticize everything about it saying I should have done it this way and I should have done it like this instead. She told me every single thing I did wrong with making it then saying that she should've made it.

Honestly I was hurt by what she said because I really thought it wasn't that bad. My family thinks that I HAVE to make her another one because of how bad of a gift it was and that it was an awful cake. I really don't want to do it again but everyone is making me feel awful about it for not doing it and I feel inclined like I have to do it. So, Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Grandma can shove that cake up her ass. ######


Prompt:
My dad makes a lot of promises, but never keeps them and just says “I never said that” or something similar to go back on it. A little while ago, he told me that if I did the dishes I could have my Netflix permissions back (they took away everything above tv14) so I did, but he said he didn’t remember making that promise.

Every time before I do what he wants, I clarify in the clearest way possible what our deal is. So last night, he said that if I took the dogs for a walk I could stay up an extra hour to watch the rest of a movie I was watching. I agreed, but turned on the record option on my phone.

So the conversation was basically ‘So, if I take the dogs for a walk, I can stay up an extra hour and watch my movie?’ And he (annoyed) said ‘YES. I already said that didn’t I?!’. So I went for a walk, came back and he told me to go to bed. I told him what he said and he said 'I would never agree to that’ and told me to ‘stop lying’ so I showed him the video.

He let me stay up, but he got mad and said I ‘invaded his privacy’ and that ‘I had right to record him’. They now look through my phone and delete any photos or videos they don’t approve of. I don’t think I really did anything wrong, but the rest of my family says I should’ve just let it go and not made it a big deal. AITA for recording my dad?

EDIT: I love my family, and I really don’t think my dad is abusive. I think he is just bad at keeping his word. Thank you all for your support though. Anyways, I brung up possibly signing it on paper as many of you suggested, and he got annoyed that I brung it up again and walked away. I’ll talk to him again when he’s cooled off a bit more ######

Response: NTA. Gotta love that good old parenting when you teach your kids to lie and to never uphold your agreements ######


Prompt:
Since last week my grandma starter complaining that my room is dirty and unorganized. I clean my room at least every other day but apparently for her it is too little.

So, a few days ago I decided to go for a walk at the local park only to come back to my keyboard being off, my rgb strip mostly off with some LEDs flashing on and off and some stuff missing from my desk (like USB sticks) . I decided to go and ask her what happened and she told me that she decided to clean my desk because it was too crowded and dirty. Also she told me to be careful because something shocked her when she tried to remove the water she dropped on my desk.

I immediately rushed back to my setup and tipped my keyboard over only to see water dripping from it. I then went outside and told to never go into my room and didn't talk to her since.

FYI The keyboard was the Corsair k95 which costs 250$ where I live. ######

Response: NTA. Gosh I hate parents/grandparents/in-laws etc. etc. pulling this shit off. These toxic people need to learn to not to touch other people’s shit. ######


Prompt:
Hiya reddit, this is a throwaway account.

I'm 25f and my younger (half) sister is 22f. She's supposed to be getting married in September if she doesn't have to reschedule the date.

I was at my step-mom (sister's mom) and dad's place this past weekend for father's day. My step-mom wanted to show me the "mother of the bride" dress she ordered that had just come in because she was so proud of how beautiful it was. The dress was white and lacy and floor length. It looked like a wedding dress to me. I told her as much and she waved it off saying how that tradition was old and didn't apply to moms anyways and my sister wouldn't mind.

I didn't think this was the case, and took a pic of the dress without my step-mom knowing and later that day sent it to my sister saying "this is what your mom plans on wearing to the wedding".

My sister said she DEFINITELY didn't approve that dress and ended up confronting her mom. Now my sister is upset with her mother, my step-mom is upset with me, and my dad is pissed I took a picture behind my step-mom's back AND he's mad at my step-mom for trying to go around my sister's wishes. Step-mom is also upset she has to return such a *beautiful* dress that cost like $300 or not be allowed in the wedding.

I was just trying to watch out for my little sister cause my step-mom has done shit like this before. AITA?

Edit: forgot to mention step-mom insisted he dress was off-white, not white. I know fuck all about dresses but I know off-white/eggshell/cream is just as inappropriate. ######

Response:
 NTA. Good sister 😊

I also find it *hilarious* that your dad is mad at both you and his wife. It's like he doesn't know who to blame so he's just blaming everyone 😂 ######


Prompt: Backstory(short version): My dad has been a not very nice person from the start, while he was married to my mum he would often take “surfing trips” in which he would sleep with other women. For a while he was engaged to another woman while still married to my mum. I tried to keep a relationship with him not knowing of what he had done. Recently he wanted me to block a number of one of his ex-wives, she is a nice lady and we don’t have a problem with each other. So I politely said no I won’t as I had no reason to. He then sent the following message “You know the hell I went thro, just a bit of respect for your dad wouldn’t go amiss. Till you show that respect then please don’t contact me. You need to step up if you want to stay in touch. If you want to keep in contact with your brother then I suggest you go thro your mum to contact him” I then got angry and sent back a message of one word “ok”. I have not talked to him since. All I would like to know is what I did ok? He has treated me as I would always be there no matter how bad he would treat me. If need be I can provide evidence of the messages. ######

Response: NTA. Good people don’t give their child ultimatums. No way. ######


Prompt:
Sup peeps, hope all of you are doing amazing,

Alright well, few years ago my parents were abusive asf. During high school we had this “ag science “ type of science and one of the requirements of the class was raising some type of farm animal. One of said options was a bunny so I’m like “hey bunnies are cute asf” so I went for the bunny. My parents had always hated animals so, then being them, they let my rabbits outside in 105 degree weather in Cali. (In a tiny 1x3foot cage for 2 fully grown rabbits) they started showing symptoms of having heat strokes but again, they wouldn’t let me bring them in or even touch them. Male bunny eventually died that summer from a heat stroke.

Once I moved out I took my bunny with me and got a dog as well.

Well, parents came to visit etc. they started complaining about just having my pets IN the house “that’s disgusting” “how do you live like this?” I’m like “ they’re trained, clean and healthy.” Mom was like “but the hair.?!” “No that’s disgusting, put them outside”

Back when I lived with them they’re excuse for literally everything was, “my house my rules, the rabbit stays outside” “she’s literally panting hard asf....” “I don’t care, don’t bring that thing in here”

So now my house my rules too I guess and was like “you want them outside? Cool, get the fuck out” she’s like “what?” I’m like “I don’t fucking know how you could ever think I’d pick you over them, you don’t like them? They mean a thousand times more than you do, either live with it or get the fuck out”

Entirely logical in my opinion.

TL;DR: kicked parents out of MY house because they didn’t like them being inside the house ######

Response: NTA. Good on you for sticking up for yourself (and your pets). I find it insane that a school would make you raise an actual animal at home, but it's horrible that your parents mistreated it and let it die. So not ok to go to someone's house and demand they change things, especially with how other living creatures are treated. It's the dog's house too, not your parents' ######


Prompt:
I'm (21M) quarantining with my university flatmates. 3 girls (all 20F) and 2 other guys (20M, 21M).

One of the guys, we'll call Sam (21M) looks like the typical "neckbeard". He's largely overweight, wears anime T-Shirts, unkempt facial hair and has spots

However, he only *looks* like the stereotype. He's not creepy or holier than thou. I've spent time with him and been to many parties with him, he just suffers from sometimes severe social anxiety and low self esteem.

Well, he went back home for something and I was in the kitchen with the rest of the flatmates.

One of the girls, we'll call Amy, immediately began roasting Sam by saying "I'm so glad that ugly neckbeard is gone" and how she doesn't have to look at him anymore.

Honestly, I immediately felt disgusted. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from or how they look like. I was once treated like that and it isn't nice.

I immediately snapped at Amy and said "You're bullying him, and that's not cool". She looked at me shocked I confronted her and things went quiet.

Later my other male flatmate Henry said i was an asshole for interrupting Amy and that she was "only joking around and having fun". I told him tht he's complicit and should be ashamed. But I do wonder whether I was an AH for embarrassing her. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Good on you for sticking up for your friend, OP. ######


Prompt:
For context, I bought a new cast iron skillet and still trying to get the hang of using it to cook a nice melted cheese sandwich.

I thought that I should be sweet and make my wife breakfast. I’ve did this for a number of occasions these past couple of weeks but today was the one that made me rather pissed.

She came into the kitchen and started asking why is this toast is slightly burnt; the french toast has not absorbed enough egg etc. She then proceeded to give me feedback about how I should do it. I just told her that “Look, I just wanted to make a nice breakfast and still trying to get the hang of it. I’m really not trying to be a top chef here.” AND...she got pissed with me.

This is not the first time and each time I just brush it off. But it all just got to me today but I know that if the position has been switched, I would be told off for trying to tell her what to do. ######

Response: NTA. Good luck with the cast iron — the *best* for grilled cheese sandwiches! Everyone’s fuses are short these days; but if it’s an ongoing thing, you need to discuss “feedback boundaries.” Feedback can’t just go one way — and in any case, it needs to be presented properly so that the recipient isn’t left feeling resentful and unsupported. ######


Prompt:
So I was in subway a few weeks ago and there was a small woman in there who made the mistake of saying "a 3 inch sub please" and these two builders started joking and making fun and she said "please can you stop" and they were like "we were only joking , love!" And I thought that was that, but a few moments later one of them started again saying "a three inch is enough" so I got angry at this point, and said **"is that what you have to tell your wife every night"** to the man and his friend started laughing like hell and the man got up, towered over me and said "theres no need to be like that you fucking, bitch!" I yelled back to him that he needed to leave her alone.

I was then told to leave the subway as well as the 2 men.

I'm a woman too and this girl looked visibly flustered and upset, I got angry. I told people what I said, they laughed but said I shouldn't have stepped in or been so rude. I hate verbal altercation and I felt a bit guilty for upsetting the dude afterwards, but I was so pissed off in that moment.

AITA ######

Response: NTA. Good job on calling him out. You asked them to stop and they didn't. Don't feel guilty about causing a verbal altercation it was something that needed to be address as someone was uncomfortable with what they were saying. ######


Prompt:
I have a five year old daughter named Colette. Ever since she was born my mil called my daughter "letters" as a nickname (because Colette ends in lette i'm guessing). It's not the greatest nickname in the world but I let it go.

The other day, my daughter randomly said: Why does grandma call me "letters". My name is Colette.

I told her: It's her nickname for you.

Colette: that's weird

me:Do you not like being called "letters"

Colette: not really

me:it's ok to tell grandma that you want to be called Colette instead of letters.

Colette went to my MIL's house today. My husband dropped her off and picked her up so I didn't see my MIL at all that day.

That night I get a call from my MIL. She tells me that it was really rude for Colette to say she didn't like her nick name. And that I shouldn't have told her to say that. She said I was raising her to be bratty. She also said that Colette couldn't come over until she apologized and says that she likes being called letters.

That last part pissed me off. I told her "what the fuck? You're banning a 5 year old from your house for not liking a stupid nick name. Then I hung up on her.

Aita for using that kind of language with my mil. ######

Response:
 NTA. good for you for teaching your daughter to stand up for herself and for doubling down by standing up for her. MIL needs to apologize to the 5 year old for not respecting her name request.

and no f* your MIL, you just dropped an f bomb and that’s alright. if you really feel bad about your language you could call her back to apologize for only that and  say that you thought it over and do not want her to see her grand daughter until she apologizes and respects your daughter wishes and boundaries. and that you don’t feel comfortable with someone who belittles a child! ######


Prompt:
My property ends about 2 feet from my neighbor’s property. Because it’s so close we have not made a big deal when he walks in our lawn a bit or needs to set up a sprinkler in our lawn to water the side of his house. I didn’t even come t when he drove his truck into his back yard multiple times over the course of a few weeks.

But recently I think he’s taking it too far. He hired a tree removal company to take down a tree in his backyard and told them it was ok to drive their large trucks through my lawn to get there without asking us. He got a new dog (German Shepard) and put the stake leash right on his property line so the dog is very far into my lawn. I have a young child who is afraid of dogs and he refuses to play in our lawn because the dog is so far into our yard.

For reference, he has a decent sized front yard and back yard (1/4 acre or so total) and the majority of our lawn is the area where he keeps encroaching.

He is a new neighbor so we started nicely just letting him know where the property line is so he didn’t have to wonder and we said nothing when he drove his truck back. But i have now twice had to ask him to get his dog off my lawn. He makes a big huff about it and is clearly annoyed.

I want to be neighborly but I also want him to respect that he can’t do what he wants with my property. My husband thinks we should just ignore it. I think we need to gently ask him to keep his vehicles and animals out of our yard. ######

Response: NTA. Good fences make good neighbors. ######


Prompt:
I (18F) and my half-brother (42M) have only really had a relationship for the past 5-6 years. He got married to my SIL (39F) who I'm going to call "Dinah". They recently had a baby and while the relationship was never the best with Dinah (pretty much a narcissist) but my family and myself tried to keep strings attached for the kiddo's sake.

About a few weeks ago, I got some really inappropriate texts from my brother directed at me in a non-brotherly way. I went to my parents immediately when he sent them. They were both shocked and called him up to confront him about it. He tried to dismiss it as a joke or whatever (though it definitely wasn't) and said that I and my parents were being overly dramatic about it.

Then cuts in Dinah raging in over the phone (I guess my brother had us on speaker). She accuses us of reading things into the texts he sent to try and ruin the relationship and that this will "never be fixed because you jumped to conclusions about what he was saying". And that we're missing out on a relationship with their baby.

I've tried to re-read the texts over and over again, and honestly? They were so creepy and not joking at all. I tried every way I could find to not believe he'd send me those things, but he did, and we even sent Dinah screencaps of what he said (and her response was "I can't believe you'd throw away a relationship of 5-6 years because of this"). I feel like absolute garbage sometimes and that maybe I shouldn't have said anything to keep the peace, but I felt that he crossed a line. He was always inappropriate before, but never with me. AITA for breaking up this relationship over a text? ######

Response:
 NTA. Going to your parents with the texts was 100% the right thing to do. Many teenagers wouldn’t have the sense to tell their parents about something like this.

This doesn’t change anything but can you tell us more about the nature of the text messages? Were they just straight-up insults? ######


Prompt:
It's recently come to light that my parents have used my SSN to run up a little over $15,000 of debt that's now in collections. My credit is ruined and my plans of saving for post-grad school have just flown out the window. The only way to have it removed would be to file a police report against my parents to have the debt declared fraudulent. I'm pretty sure this is a felony, but I haven't spoken to any lawyers or anything.

Before you say obviously NTA, I'm hesitating because my parents take care of my elderly grandmother. Since her husband died, she is alone basically all the time except for when my parents are around as my family is very small. My mother is also a nurse and helps my grandmother out with any medical care she needs (she's not sickly enough to need full time care, just when things come up).

I live out of state and can't afford to help my grandmother if my parents were to go to jail/(prison?). WI BTA if I followed through with the police on this? ######

Response: NTA. God knows what they are doing with your grandmother... ######


Prompt:
Sorry for the confusing(?) title, I don’t exactly know how to word this.

I’m 21f, my dad was 46m. To make a long story short: When I was 9, my dad cheated on my mom, while she had cancer, and got married immediately after she died. Stepmom, who is 43f, and her daughter, who is 18f, were not nice people, and made growing up a living hell for me. They were constantly reminding me I didn’t have a mom, and would do things like destroy my bedroom, any school stuff I had, and throw any nice thing I had out. My dad knew about most of it and did nothing. When I turned 18, I moved out and refused to contact any of them again.

About a month ago, my dad had a heart attack in the middle of the night and died. I didn’t learn about his passing until two weeks ago, where I also learned he’d left me everything in his will. Not “everything” everything, but he left me what money he had, and several precious objects that are worth a good bit of money. Very little was left to step-mom and step-sister.

I found out he died because they called me to start harassing me about giving them what I was getting from my dad’s will. They told me they would be struggling if they didn’t get it. I ended up telling them that I didn’t care if they were struggling, and that if they really wanted to do this, I would see them in court.

AITA for collecting what I was left from my dad’s will, leaving my step-family to struggle?

Edit:

1: step-mother was left something, yes. She was left with the house, and money from my dad and her’s joint account. I was left money from a separate account that she does not have access to.

2: Yes, I’m looking into getting a lawyer. And a copy of the will. It seems like the will was written about a year ago.

3: Because of the current world issue, the funeral didn’t happen. Dad’s been buried, but they’re going to do a memorial service for him in June, and I’m not invited.

4: please stop telling me this is just like cinderella. I really hate that movie. ######

Response: NTA. Go get yours and F them. ######


Prompt:
My grandpa is an jerk. He has a swastika tattoo on his right shoulder. He hates my dad because 'he is not good enough for my mom', he is black and because he is a SAHD. He disowned my mom for 'marrying a monkey'. The only member of the family he likes is me, because I am 'his only legitimate heir' since I am white.

I hate my grandpa. When I was younger, and he used to visit, he would always spout some anti-black, or anti-jew, or anti-Mexican propaganda. He would also loudly say how much he hated my 'monkey dad'.

However he is a rich jerk. Idk exactly how much money he has, but he lives like a king. Since he disowned my parents, not a cent of the money found it's way to us. We are poor.

He just got diagnosed with cancer, and he will die in 9 months. I want to say 'good riddance and the world is a better place'. However, he announced that he is writing his will, and I want to be on it.

My plan is to visit him in the hospital everyday until he dies. I will listen to his stupid world views and racist comments. I will agree with him, and express my own hate (this will be a lie of course). I will talk BS about white supremacy, etc.

Then I'll be in his will, and inherit a ton of money, which will pay for my college. I'll also give some to my parents.

My mom is all for it, but my is against it, saying he doesn't want me around that POS.

Tell me Reddit, WIBTA if I sucked up to my asshat grand sperm-doner to get into his will? ######

Response: NTA. Go for it and earn some money. Yeah he is a piece of crap, but it's totally worth being around him every now and then for a slice of the pie. ######


Prompt: I'll start by explaining the situation, my mother is a health nut who also happens to have celiac disease. I don't have celiac disease and don't currently follow the diet. My mother insists on me following it even though gluten free food is more expensive and tastes bland in comparison. Her reasoning is that apparently gluten gives people diabetes, which I know is complete BS. I'll also note that I'm not making her spend extra money on non gluten free food, as my father doesn't have celiac disease either. It doesn't affect her at all for me not to follow the gluten free diet. I'm pretty certain I'm in the right here, but would like another perspective. ######

Response: NTA. Gluten does not cause Type II Diabetes, long-term overconsumption of carbohydrates (which your body breaks down into *glucose*) does. Eating healthy is never a bad idea, but there is absolutely no reason to follow a gluten-free diet if it's not medically necessary. ######


Prompt: So last year I moved in to a new apartment with two friends. I was the one who provided most of the essentials such a washing machine, tv and (most importantly to the story) a small fridge that wasn't made for 3 person but that we managed to get by with. Shortly after I realized that I had a different lifestyle than one of my friend and so she decided to move out (I however have 0 problem with my other friend). When she left, she found a guy on a facebook page that was looking for a place to stay and since things were going really fast and I was caught up with school I accepted to let him. So things go by and I don't really like the guy, but I have no specific reason to besides the fact that I'm not too comfortable with living with a complete stranger. He's always using my TV and Switch when I'm not on them and while it's not an offence or anything, it just really gets on my nerves. After a while of him living here, he found a bigger fridge from someone at his work and brought it to the apartment, at the time I thought I'd sell my fridge, but decided to keep it in case I wanna move out so I kept in an open corner of the kitchen. Flash forward to a month ago from right now, I wake up, go to the kitchen an see that my small fridge is missing, after asking around I learn that the guy sold it without even telling me! So I get really angry, confront him about it saying that he shouldn't have done it and he instead replies that I'm in the wrong and that I shouldn't accuse him (he's basically saying that since he cleans more than me and since he brought the bigger fridge he was entitled to it.) I finally got him to pay me back, but things have been really cold between us since and the mood in the apartment changed drasticly (especially with the lockdown!) Since he's not on the papers for the apartment, I decided to tell him to move out cause I don't wanna live with him anymore and I gave him a 2 months time to find a new place to move to. Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA. Giving him two months was a nice move. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend picked up chess recently. I have been a chess player all my life. Now my boyfriend isn't very good but he is improving.

We played a 10+0 rapid game online just like an hour ago and he absolutely destroyed me. Very suspicious. He was celebrating but I decided to check the analysis and it was 1-0-0. Basically he made 1 inaccuracy and zero mistakes or blunders during the game. He also somehow knew the mainline najdorf(a chess opening) quite deep. He might just have studied it but I personally find it very unlikely. I asked my bf if he cheated and he got very defensive and upset and said I should have some trust in him. I said I am not buying this, the najdorf is one of the sharpest openings in all of chess and its hard for GMs to get 1-0-0. He called me bitch and ended the call.

Aita? ######

Response: NTA. Given that everything is true, its virtually impossible that he didn't use some sort of bot/engine. His claim is akin to a high school student claiming they wrote a best selling novel, sure its *possible,* but chances are <0.0001%.  Is your boyfriend competitive? I'm thinking he may be frustrated with constantly losing to you. ######


Prompt:
I have a 12yo dog, very docile and friendly. I've been quite attached to him even more due to the fact that I lived through many hard times in life where my only companion was him. My friends and family couldn't care less for me during these periods.

A few years ago I begun to get involved with the person who's now my fiancee. When I realized that things would get serious I asked her to be my girlfriend, but I said "Before you commit I have to warn you that my dog is extremely important to me. He sleeps in my bed and I care very much for him. You don't have to accept it, that's why I'm bringing this up before we get serious". She gladly accepted.

A few months later she decided that it was unacceptable to have him on the bed. I reminded her that I warned her first, but we both agreed that when she's with me I'd let the dog sleep on another bed in other room and wash our bed sheets and stuff.

She has this retroactive jealously and I find it quite difficult to live with. We discuss every two weeks because she wants to be the one focus of attention in my life. Now she's trying to 1 - compare her jealously with her having to accept my dog, as if one thing was compensating another, and 2 - trying to limit even the attention I give to my dog during any time of the day. Bare in mind that I'm not a very socially active person, my few friends are all men and I even work at home, so there's not even "that girls from the office" for her to complain.

AITA for not attending to her current demands and saying that's beyond too much? ######

Response:
 NTA. Give an inch, take a mile. Word of advice, it is ALWAYS bad news when the partner dislikes the pet. Most animal haters would be upfront with their dislike OR would offer some kind of compromise.

This is a clue of what she will be like with everyone else that could 1 up her too. ######


Prompt:
A bit of background: I (24F) don’t shave. Anything. I have arm hair, armpit hair, leg hair, pubes, even some ass hair. I’m very pale and have dark hair so it’s very noticeable. TL;DR at the end.

I started talking to a guy on Tinder almost 2 months ago. We talked for a few weeks and he asked me on a date. (The dates happened before the whole situation. Stay at home, folks) We have a really great date and I ask him out again, this time to my place. We are starting to hook up, I get undressed, and he sees my leg hair. He makes an uncomfortable “forgot to shave in the winter?” joke and I inform him that I never shave. He freaks out and scrambles to get dressed. He tells me I’m gross and I should have warned him before he wasted all this time on me.

I understand that it could be a dealbreaker, and it wouldn’t upset me if it was for him, I was just upset with the way he handled it. In my defense, I just never think about it. I haven’t shaved since I was in high school. The hair on my body is just part of me. I’ve only ever dated 2 people before him. One was a woman who also didn’t shave, and the other was guy who didn’t care.

My friends and family are split on this. My mom and sister, who also think I’m gross, agree with him but most of my friends are on my side. I do feel bad he felt tricked, but how am I supposed to bring this up before going on a date/sleeping together?

AITA for not telling him I don’t shave?

TL;DR: I have body hair, didn’t mention it to a guy before we went on a date, he gets upset. ######

Response: NTA. girl, you dodged a bullet. ######


Prompt:
I'm an artist and I found a following online. I'm starting to make some serious cash for what I do and it's been helping me save up so I can finally move out of my parent's place.

Due to the quarentine, this has basically become my full time job which means I spend a large portion of the day in my room. I also work well into the night since there are fewer distractions, so I tend to sleep in until 10 each day.

I don't neglect home responsablilties and I do come down for a few hours each day. However my mom wants me to be down as often as she is and wake up much earlier too. No matter how much I tell her about what I do she doesn't understand that I actually work, and that my success hinges on my output.

She says that I'm just neglecting her feelings. That I'm just using this art thing as an excuse to avoid her and be lazy.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Get your mom into diamond painting and she will never bother you again. ######


Prompt:
I have a huge family. I’m 13 my brothers 15.

For my birthday I got a can of spaghetti that’s worth a dollar (that my brother ate, and gave to me ), old pens which my brother also gave to me, and a 15 dollar gift card from my mom and dad. I didn’t get any cards or anything from my family no one messaged me happy birthday. My brother got a bayonet, a pocket knife, a wot shirt, a ring with “god protect my soul” engraved on it, two collectors coins from russia, one from 1952 one from 1981, and a new phone all from my parents, along with 40 dollar headphones from me . He got a birthday card from my dads stepmom who hated my dad but loves my brother, and practically got “happy birthday“s thrown at him. With all the stuff he got he was still sad, I told him to cheer up at least he didn’t get dollar store stuff, he enjoyed my joke but My parents said I was messing up his birthday for bringing it up.

AITA for feeling bad about getting cheap presents like pens and a dollar can of spaghetti for my birthday While my brother got really expensive stuff? ######

Response: NTA. Get your mom dollar store spaghetti noodles and your dad dollar store spaghetti sauce and hamburger for their birthdays. Tell them now you can have fresh spaghetti. ######


Prompt:
I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with a girl. I have two twin boys who are 2. With my older two, I didn't even think about whether I was going to breastfeed. They were born at 29 weeks, before the breast/bottle conversation even happened with my doctor, and they had to spend 2.5 months in the ICU. My milk never even came in.

I've been going back and forth on breastfeeding for the last few weeks, but I've settled on formula feeding. Taking care of three babies will be hard enough and I don't want to be tethered to my daughter every time she's hungry or be constantly pumping. I want my husband/parents to be able to share the burden. I want to be able to go back to work and I don't want to breastfeed in public. I'm also already so uncomfortable and I just want my body to heal and to feel good again after the birth. I want to feel like I have full power over my body again.

My husband has largely stayed out of the decision because he doesn't want to pressure me. I have informed him that we're going to formula feed. My husband's father in particular has taken issue with my decision. He says that I'm being selfish to not even try and do a few feeds. He thinks my reasoning is superficial and that it's not fair that my husband/all fathers don't have any say in what's healthiest for the baby. I know there are benefits to breastfeeding but I just don't want to try it. Am I the asshole for saying hell no to breastfeeding without any good reason for it? ######

Response: NTA. Get your FIL a breast pump and tell him get started milking himself. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday my bf and I were talking and I finally got the courage to ask why he gets angry at me every few days and days he will never talk to me again. I asked about a specific situation like why he was angry. And he answered 2-3 times that we hadn’t been together that long then but to me that’s not a reason to get irrationally angry at someone you care about. After I asked again specifically what was it I did that made him angry in that situation he exploded and flew into a rage. He said I will ask him every day (it wAs my first time ever bringing it up) and said I’m sadistic. I began feeling guilty like maybe he was justifiable angry bc I didn’t understand his explaining how the fact we hadn’t been together long related to how he got angry. And maybe it was reasonable he got mad he had to repeat himself 2-3 times.

Overall I felt such anger and I’d never been so scared of him before even though I am scared of him in general. I do wonder if it’s all my fault. He gets angry at me about everything but said he was willing to forgive his ex for cheating yet he gets mad at me for disagreeing on small things, looking upset, thinking badly of him (he assumed it when I’m not). I wonder why he treats me so differently and blame myself.

I feel I’m going insane. Was I wrong for not understanding him after he explained a few times? ######

Response: NTA. Get out, get out now. That narcissistic piece of trash will suck your soul out. You're already getting gaslighted and feeling guilty for something that is his fault. Run. ######


Prompt:
Tonight my friends had a night of Dungeons and Dragons which quickly devolved into a night of drinking and hanging out. (Which is pretty usual)

One of my roommates invited over a new friend who she is romantically interested in, to play with us. Everyone was into it, myself included.

During the character creation of the game you have to choose personality traits, which gives you an idea of who a character is.

Jack chose gay as a personality trait. That's it. Gay. Who they are? Gay. Their fault? Gay. Their bonds? Gay.

Etc.

When Jack announced this, a table full of my friends decided this was acceptable. This was totally normal to think about being gay.

I was left feeling alone. I felt that everything that I am boiled down to a joke. That people only see me as gay. Everyone I trust and confide in, let alone live with, was alright with thinking that my sexual preference is completely acceptable as a personality. Nothing else to it. Just being gay. Nothing more.

I went with it, but slowly steamed. The jokes rolled in. I steamed more. I made it clear that I am gay. No one said anything.

At the end of the night I announced loudly that I was angry at everyone there for just letting it slide, and that the joke was unacceptable. My life, and the recognition that people have fought for, is not a goddamn joke, and that I expected someone, ANYONE to mention it, but no one did.

I immediately went to my room to sulk, which is where I am now.

Did I overreact? AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Gay jokes died in the 2000’s. It’s not funny. Your identity isn’t a joke, and I’m surprised your friends thought this was okay. I’m assuming Jack is the outsider, but even still. Your friends should have said something. But I do agree with the others that said you should have said something sooner. I mean, I can understand the frustration and wanting to see how far they’d let it slide. They should have known better, but I think they would have backed you up if you had told them it bothered you. ######