Prompt:
Yesterday, after I get off my 12hr shift from treating covid patients at the hospital. I park and am going upstairs. My wife stopped by her car so I planned to meet her in the lobby to go up the elevator to our apartment.

Right as the door opens she says some guy started coughing on her on the way to the elevator. He was with his sister and niece. After my wife turns around and says “are you serious?” He laughs and says “it’s a joke”.

But this ticked me off, i go upstairs and confront the guy. Asking him if he thinks it’s funny to cough on people and say it’s a joke. He insistently continues it’s a joke, I’m sorry. I tell him i work with covid patients everyday and see them die on a daily basis. He then starts getting nervous and starts stuttering. But still insistent that it was a harmless joke. I ask him if it’s funny in a pandemic and he still says yes. He starts blaming it on he’s been quarantined for 8 weeks and he’s not thinking straight. We ask him if that’s the type of behavior he teaches his niece and he can’t answer.

I tell him, you can be an asymptomatic carrier and still transmit the disease. If you get my wife sick, you are responsible. He continues to chuckle and say it’s a joke. Until I tell him if she gets sick, you will be charged with acts of terrorism with a biological weapon as the Justice Department so nicely stated recently in March. He then gets scared and profusely apologizes. However, when my wife asks if he would still do it if i was next to him. He stated yes it’s a joke.

I ask him for his ID so i can take a picture for contact tracing. He refuses, so i take a picture of him.

I reported him to the local PD. Who now has opened a case and has requested his personal information from our leasing office.

So Reddit, pandemic and all AITA for reporting him? ######

Response:
 NTA I have heard of a case in my region where people were tested, even with no symptoms, because they wanted to visit elderly family members. Sure enough; positive. They had zero symptoms but were transmitting the disease everywhere they went. Golf. Carpool. Shopping. And you don’t even have to cough for it to spread, just normal breathing or talking is enough to spread it.

Nothing funny about this. Glad it’s a crime. ######


Prompt:
Today, I was biking on a relatively popular trail. It's usually shared between bikers and walkers. I have a relatively old bike (made in 2013) and the gear changing click is quite loud. At one point, the was a pretty steep hill I had to ride up. I downshifted to make it easier to climb, and almost immediately, a woman in her mid-thirties with a baby stroller suddenly yelled "HEY!" at me. Thinking it was for somebody else, I kept riding; she kept yelling, so I stopped. She began berating me for waking up her toddler (who was in the baby stroller) and I can't just go around making noise and disturbing people. Confused, I asked what she meant; she said "your bike is really loud, you should've passed me further away and not woken [toddler] up, etc." Even though I'm pretty sure it was her yelling that woke up the toddler, I apologized and kept riding. AITA?
Tl;dr Woman thinks I woke up her toddler in a baby stroller by changing gears with a loud gear changer. ######

Response: NTA I have a toddler and a baby. Sometimes they get woken up. I hate it. Especially when it’s the only good nap they may get for the day. That being said, even if I’m annoyed, I’ve NEVER blamed the person who caused the noise. You can go about your business how ever you see fit, regardless of whether there could be a sleeping child. It was a public place, and you were totally not in the wrong. You could’ve been playing loud music and STILL not have been in the wrong. ######


Prompt:
Husband *has* to make a comment about anything I watch. Sitcom on? "Ew, I hate her hair." Historical video, "what are you watching?" Only for him to leave or interrupt within five seconds of me beginning to explain it. Watching a dog training video? "That's not how you train the dogs." He made fun of Frozen 2 relentlessly while our kids were watching. Thankfully the oldest has learned to tune him out, so nobody but me minded.

We have half a dozen screens in the home, so if he doesn't want to watch what's on my TV (I almost exclusively watch in our upstairs living room and we have two TVs downstairs and he has his own man cave with a gigantic computer monitor) he has the option to leave. I'm so sick of his pessimism at anything I'm watching that I'll pause my show or put on some comedy that you don't need dozens of episodes to understand what the heck is going on.

So, once again, AITA here? He makes it seem like I am vastly overreacting and that I should take his comments in stride. ######

Response: NTA I have a family member like this & it just ruins the experience of watching anything. I don't even tell this person in passing conversation what I've been watching because they'll have to comment on how it's 'stupid' or whatever. ######


Prompt:
Pretty much every time I go out I see numerous people wearing masks incorrectly in ways that make the masks completely useless. Most commonly having the mask only covering their mouth and not their nose. This seems like common sense, you breathe through your nose so the mask needs to also cover your nose.

The worst is when its food places, a local ice cream place, the coffee shop, fast food, etc.

WIBTA for reporting these employees? ######

Response: Nta I hate when workers are not doing their part. Either do it right or don't do it at all ######


Prompt:
I've (23M) have been dating my girlfriend (23M) for 3 years. She is Muslim, and I am from a Hindu household, but I do not really practice my religion at all. I haven't seen her practice her religion too much, but who am I to ask her about her spirituality but one thing she definitely does abide by is not eating pork. I'm pretty respectful about ordering pork when I'm eating with my girlfriend. Normally is we are eating out, we will always get dishes with no pork, or ask to remove any pork products from our meals. Even if I eat pork when I'm not with her, I will brush my teeth before we hang out (she does know I eat pork when I'm not with her). I'm not super into pork so it's not often and really isn't a big deal for me. However, I do love pepperoni on my pizza. But, if I am eating pizza with her we will not order pepperoni. Recently, we went to MOD pizza where you can customize your pizza with unlimited toppings. We had 2 buy-one-get-one-free coupons, and I suggested we get two pizza each and have a bunch of leftover pizza for the next couple days. She customized two for herself, and I customized two for myself. On one-half of one of my pizzas, I got pepperoni because it's one of my favorite toppings thinking I can eat that half of the pizza when I'm just at home by myself. During dinner, she seemed really off so I asked her what was going on, and she starting calling me an AH for ordering pepperoni while I'm with her. Now she is giving me the cold shoulder and telling me I need to apologize for not respecting her.

AITH for ordering pepperoni on my personal pizza? ######

Response: NTA I don’t understand why her religious beliefs should influence your behavior. You didn’t ask her to eat pepperoni and you didn’t even eat it in front of her. She needs to calm down a little bit. You have nothing to apologize for and she is the one not respecting you. ######


Prompt:
Hello everyone, a bit torn here and looking for outside guidance.

About 4 months ago I moved into an apartment with 3 strangers. The move in was a bit annoying — not only did they not have a key for me (I had to copy keys from one of the roommates after moving in) but my room was not vacuumed and generally kind of grimy.

FFW to about a month ago. For context, my room was by FAR the worst of the four bedrooms. Like an order of magnitude worse (no real door, tiny, hardly a window). I found out that my rent, which I’d assumed was ~15% of the total rent was actually 25%. This really annoyed me, so I decided to move out (and gave a months notice)

I just moved out this week, and my roommate said they’d fucked up the proration math for the new roommate, and I was going to be out 50$. I grimaced, but decided to just let it go. I have since moved elsewhere, about an hour away.

Today the roommate asked if I can return my key. I should have left it there, but forgot. I told the roommate I lost them and was still looking for them. She said I could come to the house and get her keys to make a copy for the new roommate. The grocery store around the block from the apartment has the ability to make keys. This also frustrated me in general as I think it’s an unreasonable request.

I’m kind of torn — on the one hand, I should give it back. On the other, it’s a huge pain and I wasn’t given a key when I moved in... I’m generally just miffed at the group and kind of just want to lie and say I’ve lost it.

WIBTA here? Further, do you think this pettiness will make me feel better? Please advise! ######

Response: NTA I don’t think you’re obligated to give the key if you weren’t provided one when moving in. However the person that gets screwed over and has to make a new key is the new person moving in who has nothing to do with the whole situation, not your old housemates. It would be kind to them to just give the key. ######


Prompt:
I own a retail shop / deli. I have this dude who is a barely regular customer. He always orders the same exact thing. Right after he says what he wants he glares at you / stares you down and says something to the effect of "you're going to give me a good portion right?" Hes a bigger muscular guy.

Hes done the same exact thing in his half a dozen visits to my business. He did it to me once and it definitely felt like he was trying to intimidate me. He did it to a few staff members and it seemed more aggressive / intimidating. I'm a guy in my thirties and my staff is all teenagers.

Finally today I waited on him and he did it to me. It definitely felt intimidating. I asked him what he meant trying to ask innocently. He repeated what he said and glared at me even more. I asked he was implying would happen if I didnt give him what he thought was a "good portion." He said that I "did want to do that." I told him to keep his hands where I could see them and get out of my business. As soon as I said that he seemed really flustered. Actually he seemed scared. I had a hunch all along he was a phony tough guy.

He tried to mutter something and I told him to get out. He left. ######

Response: NTA I don’t see what his problem is. Where does someone get off threatening violence over portion size? ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I recently moved in together. She has a 3 and a half year old daughter. Her baby daddy is not really in the picture and her daughter calls me dad. She still breastfeeds her kid like 5 times a day and co sleeps with her every night and breast feeds throughout the night.
I have tried to sleep in the same bed as them and have had a lot of trouble getting a good nights sleep which affects me throughout the day, her kid wakes up crying at least twice a night screaming and the only way to get her back to bed is by breastfeeding . Which tbh makes me a bit uncomfortable idk why it just does .
I have communicated how I feel about this to her and she snapped at me saying I was attacking her daughter and if I loved them I would just sleep in the same bed with everyone because that’s what SHE wants. For months I avoided spending the night at her house, but eventually she came around and we discussed strategies for stopping co sleeping and weaning her daughter from breastfeeding. I was on board with that,  I know a child’s routine is not easily disrupted and will take time.
We have lived together for almost a month now and she has made no effort whatsoever to do any of the things we talked about. It’s the same old routine as it was before , every night she sleeps in her daughters bed (my old bed that we put in her room).
I constantly tell her that I crave that “us” time for her and I to have some quality time together . But she becomes angry and defensive  with me stating that she is not going to give up time with her daughter for me and that none of what goes with her daughter is my decision at all . We haven’t slept in the same bed once since I lived here, we tried once but she left in the middle of the night.
It’s put a strain on our relationship.
AITA for feeling like this and wanting more time with her and just her ? ######

Response: NTA I don’t see this relationship working out, you dont matter to her and your needs don’t matter to her. You deserve better. You DO matter. ######


Prompt:
So, a few weeks ago me and my husband found out we were expecting, super excited. Because of the industry I work in, I wanted to tell my foreman ASAP, even though I was still VERY early (around 3/4 weeks). The problem was, my FIL works in the same industry as me and my husband (construction), so we figured we’d just tell our parents that weekend to save them from hearing it from someone else. Well, we went to both our parents’ houses and things went very smoothly and everyone was so over joyed, but I did say very sternly, “ I want to hold off on telling everyone else since it is so early, i hope that’s okay”. But I’m not sure my MIL even registered what I said because the next thing we know she’s calling my husband’s grandmother and aunt...
I said the same thing to my parents and they completely understood and kept their lips sealed, saying they’d wait for me to say “when” basically.
Well my husband was telling me the next day that his mom had told his other aunt, and then his cousin, and a couple uncles.
I was immediately stressed, I’d had a chemical pregnancy a few months prior, which is why I wanted to exercise caution to begin with.
His mother has made mis-steps like this is the past. I understand it’s not just MY news, but I wanted to wait a few more weeks before telling everyone and their mother.
I’m finding it hard to move on, and believe me I want to. But at the same time I feel disrespected by my MIL, and want her to realize that. Not sure if that’s even worth doing with her though. AITA? ######

Response: NTA I don't know if you can get through to her, but this was very inconsiderate of her. ######


Prompt:
I have an uncle, we were always super tight with each other. He is younger than most of his siblings so he is closer to my age. He would always come to visit when I was younger. But suddenly, a few years ago, he stopped  coming over, no texts, no calls. Radio silence.

When l was older, l later found out he was shunned for his orientation. Naturally, I was disgusted. My family is foward thinking on most matters but for some reason when it comes to LGBTQ + its like talking to a wall.

I remember he has a Facebook, I make an account and talk to him. It's like he never left, the conversation flows so naturally.

We continue like this for the longest time. Then just two weeks ago, he asks me a question. Whether my dad knows that we are talking.  I answer honestly.  He didn't.

My uncle then says we can't talk, if my dad doesn't know. He doesn't want to make more bad blood than there is already. He demands I tell him. He says he doesn't want to be anyone's secret.

I gather the confidence to tell my father and he is irate when l do. He says I must cut all contact immediately. It's useless,  I can't convince him otherwise.

Now is my problem is this.

If l tell my uncle the truth, he won't agree to ever talk again. He is too good for his own good.

I don't want to betray his trust. I love him and l know lying to him will gut him.

I really don't want to hurt him. I don't want to lose him either

WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA I could not even imagine how hurtful this situation would be. Your uncle sounds like a bigger man than your dad could ever hope to be (no offense) but if you really love your uncle, you’d honor his wishes by telling him the truth. I am sure your uncle would love to have you back in his life & I’m fairly confident he would put up with your dad’s BS if it means having you around again. Are you living with your dad? What’s the worst possible consequence he could inflict on you if you stayed in touch with your uncle anyways? ######


Prompt:
My mother has this habit of asking me questions with no context behind them and then getting mad at me when I give her what she deems as the wrong answer. For example, she asked me this morning if I wanted to come to the grocery store with her, to which I said no. She then got annoyed because she didn’t want to go alone and wanted help with the shopping - something she never mentioned in her question.

I decided to confront her about it because I normally don’t and this happens way too often, and I said that she shouldn’t have given me a choice, and when I said no, it was unfair of her to get mad. She should have said something like “would you come to the store with me because I’d like help with the groceries?” I told her this and she just shut me down again saying that she can never get anything right and that she can never win.

Am I the asshole for thinking she’s being stupid and am I the asshole for finally calling her out? ######

Response: NTA I completely agree, she shouldn’t give you a choice if she’s going to be mad at one of the options. It’s like a trap. The way you said she should have phrased it is a really good example and you should keep calling her out. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I recently had a baby when this situation happened, and my in laws came to visit us before our baby was born and stayed with us until I kicked them out of my house and they had to fly back to Canada, my wife and I live in the US.
I woke up early, which I'm use to waking up early, I grab my new born and go downstairs. I make myself some coffee. About an hour after I go downstairs the house is starting to wake up. My wife comes down the stairs and ask me if I would like another cup of coffee, I reply "yes please" and my wife makes me another cup. We use a Keurig. While the Keurig is preparing for the next cup my wife puts her mug under the dispenser. She brings me my cup.

 While she is bringing me my cup her father takes her cup from under the dispenser and puts his cup under the dispenser. My wife says "dad my cup was there" his response was "you know how I am! I have to have my tea and orange juice with my cereal every morning"... I hear this conversation and I ask if "my wife had her cup in place", he said "yes but she knows how I am".... I responded back with " you are just going to have to wait until she is finished"  he got very upset with my comment and proceeded to yell at my wife that she knows better and he is first. I got up from my chair and said this is our house and you will not speak to her in such a way. My father in law proceeded to tell me that he will speak any way he wants to his daughter! I said not in this house! If you cant be respectful of your daughter and my house then it's best if you leave! He storms off pouting like a child and hurriedly packs his things and my mother in law is packing her things now because he demanded she do so.
So AmItheAsshole for defending my wife and kicking them out of our house and forcing them to go back to Canada? ######

Response: Nta i can't belive how disrespectfull he is to his own kid. ######


Prompt:
I’m a college student (20 M) who’s currently home due to the current pandemic. Initially my plan was to take a couple summer classes at my university but now they’ve been moved online so I’m still at home. I’ve been staying productive while I’ve been here, but my mother has constantly been pushing into my privacy despite me making it clear I don’t appreciate it (I’m not doing anything illegal or immoral, I just like being left alone at times).

Recently we got a mesh wifi system which I found out comes with parental controls. I didn’t think much of it, but I’ve noticed that the wifi had started to stop working at 9:30 pm everyday. When I indirectly pointed this out, the problem seemed to magically rectify itself and I hoped that’d be the end. Cut to today when I check my phone at 9 and a “parental control” screen pops up on a very much PG website, and the wifi’s stopped functioning. Am I being unreasonable in assuming that I’m too old for these types of restrictions? I get that I’m under their roof right now, but it feels bad being treated as if I have a bedtime despite being an adult.[a screenshot of the parental controls](https://imgur.com/a/XkeCLLi) ######

Response:
 NTA I can understand wanting to protect kids (even young adults) from some of the wilder parts of the Internet, but keeping a 20 year old from using them internet or regular movies seems extreme.
Of course that’s assuming you’re not failing to tell us about your hidden porn addiction that resulted in you flunking out of school or some other situation that would make your parents go nuts. But barring anything like that, this is extreme. ######


Prompt:
I don't have the happiest home life, my dad and mom got into a lot of fights because he was cheating on her. I don't know why they're still together honestly.

He's also been angry at me a lot for academics, I've been studying from home and he thinks I'm being lazy and stupid

He and she fight a lot, and when that happens, I just kind of mentally shut down. Like let my eyes unfocus, stop paying attention to my hearing or other senses. Just relax into my own mind. It honestly feels like an out of body experience a little, I feel untethered from my own body, like I'm floating through empty space. It takes a while to come back too; like I feel kind of like I'm deep deep underwater and anything that someone says or does is blurred and delayed so much by the time it gets to me.

I know that sounds super weird but honestly it's the thing that's keeping me sane through this shit.

But I think it's been making my dad and mom really mad, when either of them is angry with me and I go to that place, they get furious, they yell at me for being a "fucking vegetable" and accuse me of being messed up in the head. Tried to shake me out of it once. Been telling their friends that I'm autistic. I don't think I am.

I know it makes them mad but it's honestly the nicest thing I can do for myself, I'm so sick of their shit. If I can't go somewhere physically, I guess the next best thing is to leave there mentally.

AITA for going to that other mental place when there's anger at home, even if it makes my dad and mom mad? ######

Response: NTA I am not a psych professional, but that sounds like dissociation. It’s a common coping response to stress and trauma; you are shielding yourself for the emotional harm and fear of physical harm you sense when the people who have power over you and who are supposed to protect and care for you seem to lose control of themselves. ######


Prompt:
Hello!
My sister said I could use her throwaway account so I didn’t have ties to my personal one. Also on mobile.

My husband’s sister, my SIL, is due to get married next month. The venue is allowing her wedding but they had to heavily adjust the guest list. My daughter was set to be the flower girl and my husband and I would just be attending as a guest. I was cut from the guest list. I understand as I have never been made to feel welcomed in the family and we’re not that close. Why take up a spot when she has plenty of other people she wants around?

Well due to obvious reasons, and my husband’s job banning travel (the only travel he is allowed is a work related trip here in the near future), he told my SIL they would no longer be able to attend. My SIL then decided that I would be the one to bring my daughter to the wedding but I still wouldn’t be a guest. I would just be driving her 12 hours to another state and hanging out at the grandparents home while everyone else is at the wedding.

Here’s where I feel like TA.
I informed her that I would not be sending or traveling with my daughter because 1- am immune compromised, 2- I have school (online) and a work from home job that demand my time as well, and 3- there are family members who my husband is no contact with and he would not want her around these people without one of us present.
This information caused her to massively flip. She said I was salty because I was cut from the guest list, she now no longer has a flower girl, and I’m ruining a very special family picture she has in mind. She was going to have a family photo taken at my MIL’s grave with everyone in wedding attire. I mentioned that my husband wouldn’t even be in the picture because he wouldn’t be able to attend but she just kept blaming me.

I’m honestly starting to overthink this to where I’m feeling like an asshole and maybe I should find a way to get my daughter there.

So Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA I actually laughed out loud at the audacity she had to expect you to drop everything and being your young child to a wedding without either parent in attendance. For what?  A picture? ######


Prompt:
So my ex and I have split our custody with our son. I told him all week that I’d be really sick this weekend and wouldn’t be physically able to take care of our son. Either him or my mother would watch him. I knew I was having a medical abortion towards the weekend (now) and didn’t know how bad it’d be, but also didn’t go into detail that’s what I was doing because I didn’t feel comfortable discussing it and the current pregnancy was from my current partner.
Today I’m laying in bed and he comes in saying he finally got a job and starts tomorrow, that I would have to watch the baby. I told him I couldn’t (tomorrow is the day I take the second set of pills to the abortion and I expect a lot of pain) and that I already talked to my mother about her watching him, she said she would. I told him to call her and he was not having it (he hates calling her). After we exchanged a few more words and me finally saying I wanted to be alone because I was feeling sick he yells at me “well it’s not MY fault you went and had an abortion” and I didn’t know how to reply.
Fast forward an hour later where I text him and tell him we need space. He asked why and I gave him an explanation- that it really hurt my feelings and I was going through a lot emotionally as is. He then sends me a lengthy text saying that “You are a parent before anything and I need you to please start acting like it. Us being apart will require you to be more active in [sons name] day to day life. So think before doing something that’s gonna make you incapable of helping him. When we have a schedule, it’ll be simpler. Get your shit together and stop blaming everything for what you do to yourself.” Copied and pasted text. I then called him and he told me to stop acting like a teenager and said I was a bad parent. Now I’m laying in bed feeling guilty about letting my mother watch him over the weekend. I feel like I’m wronging my son. AITA???? ######

Response: NTA hunny you made arrangements, you did what you had to do . Whether it’s jealousy or he’s just a dick he’s just trying to make you feel guilty. Don’t let him. ######


Prompt:
I've had this phone number for 3 years. Since then, I receive many texts from the guy asking for verification codes and security codes sent to my number. The verification codes have started to seem scammy, including Google verification codes from non-Google numbers. And he asks me to send the code so he can verify his identity.

For years, I've been okay with it because I figure it can't hurt to help this guy out. But now, after years, I'm fed up and I'm starting to think my own identity is in danger from this guy still using my cell phone number.

After the most recent suspicious interaction I've had (the various Google verification codes) I decided to just block him. I feel bad, AITA? Should I unblock him and continue to help him unlock his accounts? ######

Response: NTA hundred percent. In 3 years, he should’ve figured his shit out. Does seem shady ######


Prompt:
Recently my great-grandma(98f) who we will refer to as Oma moved in with myself (34f) and my SO(37m). We are child-free so it made the most sense for Oma to live with us instead of anyone else in my family as I work from home and can take care of her. For the most part, Oma's mental facilities are intact however on her bad days she speaks entirely in German. To keep her from panicking and feeling comfortable I will carry on conversations with her in German.

To me, it's not a big deal if it keeps her calm and happy, I also don't feel it's harmful in any way. But my SO thinks it is rude that I carry on conversations with her in German as opposed to insisting on English. His main gripe is he can't understand what we are saying so therefore it is rude and I am excluding him from the conversation. I would be inclined to agree if she wasn't 98 almost 99 years old. And besides, we aren't even talking about him, which I've told him on occasion translating for him.

I understand that he feels excluded to an extent but at her age with her memory slipping and her having some confusion I feel he should be more accommodating. I've even pointed out if he takes the time to listen that English and German share similar roots that he will get the gist of the conversation. He, however, doesn't want to and insists that we should only speak English around him.

It came to a head last night she came into the kitchen asking a question in German, and he started yelling "English, speak English I know you speak it perfectly fine." I told him he was being an AH and to leave her alone. He hasn't spoken to me all morning so I'm starting to wonder if I was being the AH here for taking my Oma's "side" and conversing in German with her? ######

Response:
 NTA however your SO is a raging asshole.

 Yeah, there's a very good argument to be made that you shouldn't carry on conversations in front of somebody in a language that they don't speak.

All that goes out the window when it comes to a *98 YEAR OLD HAVING MEMORY ISSUES*.   Yelling at her is *so* far beyond the pale that I can't even wrap my brain around it.  For me....this would be a dealbreaker. ######


Prompt:
Will provide more context if needed, it's a lot to fit in to 3000 characters. Using my throwaway since this is quite personal.

My mother died around 2.5 years ago. I now live with my father, and two of my three brothers. My youngest brother is very high functioning autistic (Please excuse my language here, I know the term high functioning isn't the best but I'm not sure what the appropriate term is, please feel free to correct me and I'll change it in an edit). He's 13 now, very keep-to-himself, just likes to play on the computer, go to the shops, and go for walks. He does have some behavioural issues, such as having huge meltdowns whilst watching TV because he doesn't like what happens on it. None of us are very close with my dad since he was the breadwinner, and he wasn't a huge part of our lives until our mum passed. Obviously now we see him all the time.

After my mum passed, my dad told me that in the will, I will get my youngest brother's share of the inheritance and be financially responsible for him. In my understanding, this means he goes into my care. I was never asked if I was okay with this, I was just told about it. I believe this was decided because since he was born I was actively helping out, and I started babysitting semi-regularly when I was about 10. Whenever my mum would worry herself about who would look after him in the future, I'd chip in with "It's okay, I'll do it!", because 10 year old's don't really think about consequences. I continued saying I'd take him on until I was around 16 because secondary school brought on some strong depressive episodes and I genuinely didn't think I'd be around past age 18, so again, a non-adult not thinking about the consequences.

Me and my brothers discuss it regularly because we know even if we all pool money together, we can't afford a care home, but I don't know what options we have really. I guess I just want to know, AITA for not wanting to become a carer? ######

Response: NTA however I don't know what country you're in but if your brother is high functioning, he definitely won't need a care home, at most he might need some form of supported living or someone to pop in a couple times a week... ######


Prompt: This is my first time ever asking my mom (or anyone) to babysit. on Friday I asked my mom to watch my 4month old daughter for 2 hours on Saturday so me and hubby could get yard work done, she agreed then an hour later called to inform me she was going for a day trip Saturday with her friend and if the trip didn’t go through she could baby sit for me. Alright I was a little annoyed but left it at that. Saturday evening I talked to her and found out she didn’t actually go but also decided to not babysit. She told me she would come over in the morning, this morning she called to tell me that she was out at her friends until 3am and that she was too tired to babysit so she would come over next Weekend. I told her it’s fine and that Ill just look for someone else to watch her next time. She called me crying ”how could I do that to her” I’m actually pissEd. AITA for not wanting to ask her to babysit again? ######

Response: NTA how is it your mother is more irresponsible (and less dependable) than an eight year old? WTF really? Thanks mom ######


Prompt:
(Reposted and edited due to previous issues)

Yesterday, while I (19F) was on a walk with my little brother (10M) and I told him that he has ADHD. My parents got him diagnosed last year and while they have been making efforts to help succeed in school, they get mad at him for exhibiting textbook symptoms of ADHD. I moved away for college last fall and haven't seen the full scope of things, but since I've moved back home, my parents have been yelling at my brother for not being able to finish tasks, calling him stupid, and grounding him for weeks over trivial issues. I talked to my brother about it and he's told me that while I'm away the yelling is more frequent. I decided that I would give him an explanation behind what was going on, mainly because I feel like he deserves to know, and it would explain things to him, rather that keep him thinking that "mom and dad hate me and I don't know why". I explained to him that having ADHD doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes your thinking process a bit different.

Fast forward to today,  and while I was out on a walk, my brother confided  to our parents about what  we talked about on our walk yesterday. My dad told me that I was selfish for telling him and undermining their parenting and yelled at me for half an hour, and my mom won't come out of her room to even talk to me. So AITA?

TLDR; I told my brother that he has ADHD after my parents have been mistreating him because of his symptoms. ######

Response: NTA how can they successfully treat it if he doesn't even understand he has it? ######


Prompt:
My (31m) oldest brother (49m) is installing a deck on our parents house. It's obvious even to a kindergartner that the posts are crooked. And the entire deck is crooked. Almost a entire foot.

I told both of our parents about it. Showed them. Neither will say anything to him.

I didnt help yesterday because i was busy and i helped all last weekend while he watched us unload all the lumber. He disagreed with me when i wanted to lay the lumber on a flat surface so it won't bow because it was 15 feet further to carry it. Even though he wasnt carrying it AT all.

After he left I went out to see everything and noticed the center poles are WAY crooked. I measured and found they are 10 INCHES difference between the front and the back. Now when you look at even the basic framing you can tell it is crooked.

I waited for him to show up today and casually brought it up. He says it doesnt matter. I showed him the joist that is only 3" on the beam that he put in (it's hanging over the other beam 16 1/4")and he lost his shit. Telling me it was my fault because i didnt help yesterday. When i checked to see what was going on around noon there were 5 people standing around.

He yelled at me after i told him to lower his voice over 4 times. Telling to just go away. So i did. Fuck it. He called me a "hot shot" because i was measuring things.

So be honest please. AITA? ######

Response: NTA hotshot with your fancy measuring tape and math skills. ######


Prompt:
&#x200B;

I'm 15 and my brother is around his late 20's- and when I was in the shower I suddenly realized that I forgot to ask my mom to buy some pads for me (She wasn't around the house at this time) So I called out to my brother and asked him if he could buy some for me. He told me no and I thought it was because He thought he was gonna pay for them (He gets mad when I ask him to buy some food for me- although I always pay him back)- So I clarified that I was gonna pay for them- He told me no again, more firmly and angry this time. So I got mad and yelled at him to just buy some for me because I couldn't go outside to buy them myself (This was the first time I've ever yelled at my family ever). Then he went silent and a few seconds later I heard the door slam. A few minutes later he came back.

I realized that I shouldn't have gotten angry and I got out of the bathroom to apologize and get the pads- but when I got out he yelled at me and threw the pack of pads at my face- He told me that it was really embarassing to get those for me because he was a guy and the cashier was asking him a bunch of stuff he didn't know the answer to (like what brand, wings or no wings, etc). So I cried and I just grabbed the pads and went back to my room.

&#x200B;

I told my mom and dad what happened and my dad sides with my brother, and my mom told me to just understand because "he was a man, we're different from them and they shouldn't know about stuff like this"- I'm in my room and have had a few hours to think it over and I still feel angry because of what he did but also ashamed for asking him in the first place- I'm really sad and confused- AITA? ######

Response: NTA Hopefully one day he grows up, or just stays out of the dating scene because if he's too immature to buy pads then he's too immature for women. There's nothing to even be embarrassed over. ######


Prompt: I’m not even kidding and I really wish I was joking, like who tf looks at a baby and decide to call him something from twilight? My eldest brother thinks I’m being too hard on him. But, come on guys, Moonlight? I don’t want my nephew to be bullied at school. ######

Response: NTA honestly it got a laugh out of me. Poor kid. What is the mother's opinion on that? ######


Prompt:
I am a graduate student in Illinois.  I sometimes hang out with a few international students from India and Pakistan. I was invited to go to a local Indian restaurant to eat with 5 friends.   When we arrived at the restaurant we ordered food.  It seemed like most of the table ordered food to share instead of just for themselves.  I just ordered for myself as that is what I normally do when I go out to eat.  During the course of the meal, several of the people offered to share some of their food with me.  At the time, I thought it was so I could try new food. I initially declined saying "I would like to eat just my food".  As the evening continued the friends continued to ask me to try their food.  After the fourth time asking, I agreed.  As we left one of the friends said she would pay for the table and we would pay her back.

A few days later, I was asked to pay $35 for my portion of the bill. The total bill for the table was $75.  My meal was $15.  What happened was they expected me to pay half of everything I tried.  Which I thought was unfair due to them offering it to me several times.   I asked my friend about this and was told that is what they do. I paid what I was told I owed but came across as very annoyed about it during the discussion about it.    I told them that since I was offered the food I should not be expected to pay it.  What do you guys think? Is it simply a cultural or communication issue? ######

Response: NTA honestly I think you got scammed buddy lol. Next time I guess you have to clarify how the bill will be split before you start eating, thats tacky but they got tacky first. ######


Prompt:
Am I the asshole for not giving my ex-wife permission to take the kids to Mexico?

My ex wife told me yesterday that she booked a trip to Mexico with her and our kids for this Sunday July 12th for a week. She expects me to sign off letting the kids go but I don’t think it’s a good idea for the safety of my kids and current state of COVID-19. AITA? Should I let them go?

Note: posting this for a friend at his permission who does not have a Reddit account. ######

Response:
 NTA holy moly Batman. People are getting on each other's cases about backyard barbecues and she wants to take them to Mexico?? Wow.

And as an aside, if you're co-parenting, shouldn't she ask *before* she books a trip? ######


Prompt:
Hey there,

First time posting. I (26f) was talking about our finances with my boyfriend (31m). He’s the only one working right now, I’m unable because of covid so I’m receiving CERB. We were going over paycheques and bills, when I noticed an extra 1000$ that wasn’t being talked about.

Backstory: his parents have lent him money recently, he also had an ex claim she was pregnant and then ran off with the child/block contact.

When I realized there was extra money not going either towards our bills, our house, or savings, I asked if he was sending money to someone this month. I just assumed he was paying back his parents, or maybe his ex had made contact and needed something for the baby. As soon as I asked he exploded with anger. Screaming at me accusing him of cheating. If it hurt his feelings and he actually thought I was accusing him, I’d have appreciated him just telling me that instead of screaming at me. He got so defensive and angry now I’m thinking there may be something sketchy going on. He was berating me of “not being happy until I get every penny out of him”, even though everything I have or make myself is put towards our house to secure a stable future together.

There’s been multiple red flags before, is this another one? Or am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA his response would definitely raise a red flag for me. For him to jump to the conclusion that you are accusing him of cheating is VERY suspicious. Especially if there have been other red flags. ######


Prompt:
My husband (M32) and I (F27) discussed children before we got married, at that point we were both unsure of whether or not we wanted children. Last year he told me that he wanted to try for a baby and I agreed on the premise that I would get to decide the full names of our children (maybe this seems petty to some of you, but the names are very important to me). To be honest, I would have likely still had children with him even if he said no, but he said yes. We did agree that he’d get to veto any one name I chose if he hated it though.

Fast forward a year and I’m 5 months pregnant. We’ve decided to keep the baby’s gender a surprise so we’ve been working on girl and boy names. He vetoed Anastasia and talked me out of Lucianna, so for a girl we landed on Clara. For a boy, he vetoed Logan and I eventually chose Sebastian. Sorted, right? Wrong.

His mother is desperate for the baby to be named after herself, her husband and her parents (with the first name being either the baby’s great grandmother’s name or great grandfather’s name, and the middle name being baby’s grandmother or father’s name.). She’s been blowing up our phones about it but truthfully (and I feel mean saying this) I don’t like any of their names.

She’s been blowing up my husband’s phone and he’s starting to argue with me about the name. I reminded him of our deal but he told me we should honour the family and his dead grandparents (who died long before we made our deal).

I will love my baby no matter what he/she is called, but I desperately don’t want to name my baby Sharon or Nigel.

AITA for not wanting to name my baby after my husband’s dead grandparents? AITA for caring so much about the name? Does baby’s name even matter as long as we love it? Am I being selfish? ######

Response:
 NTA his mom begging you to name your baby after her is peak narcissism. And dead people don’t care if you name children after them.

Also, why do his handful of family members get priority over yours? ######


Prompt: We have been married for 7 years. The first half, at least was pretty rough. He kept several flirtationships hidden. Some went too far. We have worked on things and it’s been pretty quiet but I know I still have some lingering trust issues. A few days ago he started messaging the woman that cuts his hair to see if she would come over to our house to cut his hair. I let him know I wasn’t comfortable with that for a lot of reasons, mostly not having some stranger walking around the house. He took my objection as insecurity and let me know he talks to attractive women all the time. He then told me a funny story about his coworker betting him $20 that he couldn’t get an attractive woman’s name in 1 minute at a place they were working. He got her name, it just took a little longer than a minute. I was thrown off by that and let him know I didn’t think that was ok. He told me” I thought we were past all that”. I personally didn’t think it was a cute story but now he’s made it clear he just won’t tell me so I don’t overreact. AITA for taking issue with his bet? Or objecting to having a random person over at the house? ######

Response: NTA his behaviour is not appropriate, especially given his history. I have to ask you sincerely though, do you really believe he has changed? Or that he will? ######


Prompt: my (18) sister (23) does this thing where she’ll take the rest of the pads when there’s not much left and doesn’t tell anyone. i’m fine with her taking the pads but i just want her to tell me beforehand so that i can ask mom to buy pads. she doesn’t tell me until after i ask her where the pads are. she has done this multiple times before btw. this morning, my period decided to come early and when i asked where the pads were, my sister went into her room (the pads are supposed to stay in the bathroom) and gave me two pads. now that i have money to buy pads,  i’m thinking about going to the store tomorrow, buying pads, and hiding them. i know my sister will be mad and my mom will be on her side but it’s honestly annoying that she doesn’t say anything about the lack of pads when she knows she isn’t the only household member who gets a period. ######

Response: NTA hide your pads. I used to live with my stepmom and she would do this on purpose. To feel glorified for providing something essential to me. Whenever I'd buy my own stash she'd get upset when I put it in my room like she did in the past. So I got petty and bought the thickest tampons since she's against tampons. ######


Prompt:
A while ago I had my second child. It was while I was pregnant that I learned she was delaying vaccines for her kids because “bad science and autism”. I was honestly shocked and dismayed that I had had so many play dates without knowing she was an antivaxxer.

Anyway, I managed to brush off a handful of play dates during my second pregnancy, citing work, being tired, etc. I didn’t feel comfortable having her kids around me knowing they weren’t vaccinated while I was pregnant. So fastforward to my baby’s arrival.

I asked my pediatrician if I was being hyperbolic because I didn’t want her kids around us before my newborn was vaccinated. He strongly recommended I cancel all play dates with her until everyone is vaccinated or my kids are old enough for there to be a reduced risk of infection.

So my friend was asking if we could get together, if her kids could meet then new baby, etc. I didn’t feel right blowing her off anymore. I told her straight out that play dates and visits were on semi-permanent hold until my kids were older than two or her kids were vaccinated.

She was upset, but it’s happened before apparently, so she said she was getting used to the “hysteria-fueled rejections”. I didn’t bite but just said I wished her the best, etc. But then she said, “well I appreciate you respecting my choice”.

I corrected her and told her that I absolutely did not respect her choice whatsoever, but it is what it is. She called me a crazy hysterical person and hung up on me. Obviously that friendship is dead.

AITA ######

Response: NTA her calling you hysterical and crazy is sheer projection ######


Prompt:
I was walking into this grocery store and there was an ~18 year old guy and his girlfriend walking in in front of me. I'm 10 paces behind them when he starts scratching at his b-hole. He looks over his shoulder and makes eye contact with me, but I'm so embarrassed for him that I pretend to be looking just past him and he thinks I didn't see.

I continue walking in behind them and they grab a cart and go toward the fruit/veggie area which is unfortunately where I'm going.

Then it happens. This guy, with his girlfriend on his right, takes his left hand and puts it DOWN HIS PANTS TO THE MID FOREARM and digs in his cheeks for 3-5 seconds. And then he just takes his hand out and continues toward the beef/chicken.

I walk around the other side to make up the distance between us so that I don't have to yell across the store and I say, "Hey man, I just saw you put your hands on your pants... I just need you to wash your hands. "

To my total surprise, he pretended like I was crazy. I expected him to be completely crushed by embarrassment. He kept saying 'Dude, what's your problem?' to which I kept saying 'Dude, just go wash your hands, this is over'. The girlfriend, who I don't think actually thought her boyfriend would do that, convinced the guy to tell them manager. So I ended up having to tell the manager around everybody at checkout that this guy dug his bare hand in his cheeks in the veggie section.

TL;DR   Guy had his bare hand scratching his b-hole in grocery store and I called him out (to wash his hands) ######

Response: NTA he’s no doubt going to touch food in the store and the level of unsanitary that is is pretty much off the charts. It sounds like you were petty low key about it as well ######


Prompt:
My dad is, to put it mildly, pretty selfish when it comes to food. If there are, for example, a pepperoni and a BBQ chicken pizza in the fridge he'll eat the latter purely because he knows it's the one meant for my tea.

More than once I've gone to make myself something to eat, only to realise that my dad has eaten his way through the things we both like and only left the things I _don't_. It's deliberate.

He is, however, differently picky about food than I am. Among other things, he won't eat pasta, spinach, or anything explicitly labelled as vegetarian or vegan.

So to prevent him from eating my food before his own I often buy things I _know_ he doesn't like. Tortellini, spinach and ricotta pizza, veggie chilli, etc. This means I have a stock of "easy" foods, without having to worry if they're going to be eaten before I want them.

He then complains there's nothing to eat. The fridge, freezer, and cupboards can be rammed full...but if everything of mine is stuff he won't eat, then there's "nothing".

AITA for depriving my dad of the ability to eat everything that's meant for my meals? ######

Response: NTA he's a grown man and I presume he knows where the grocery store is? ######


Prompt: Here’s the sitch. We finally upgraded to a King mattress from a Queen. I’m thinking to myself, “Great, I’m finally going to have enough space to stretch out.” We put a blanket down the middle of the bed because he’s notorious for rolling over in the middle of the night and bumping into me. So the blanket keeps him on his side of the bed. I told him the blanket should go down the center of the bed. But he keeps INSISTING that it should be closer to my side because I’m smaller (I’m 5’ 2” and he’s 5’ 8”). So I keep pushing the blanket towards the middle and every time I do that he gets annoyed and says it should be proportional. AITA? ######

Response: NTA he's 5'8, he's not Paul Bunyun. Plus king beds are huge, how are you anywhere near each other? ######


Prompt:
This is a short story, I live in England, born and raised, a friend of mine who I've known for years since we were in primary school once asked me if he could use my debit card to buy the DLCs for Grand Theft Auto IV on his XBOX 360, I agreed for him to do it He then returned my card to me and said he would pay be back. e didn't. He left my card details on his xbox for a couple of months making unauthorised purchases, to the point when my bank statement came in and it showed tonnes of money being poured out from my account, I then confronted him showing him the bank statements, I then went on his XBOX and I found my card details still there. I was pissed off at him for doing this as in REALLY PISSED I then removed my card, I then called up Microsoft asking them to refund my money and they kindly did, I then cutoff contact with him and never saw him again.
Last I heard of him was when I tried to contact me i then blocked him. Haven't heard of him in ages.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA he was stealing from you. ######


Prompt:
I was engaging in a casual debate with one of my fiancée’s friends. He just mentioned with Hartley Sawyer situation that people should be absolutely held accountable to anything they said, even if it was long ago and during a different time.

I disagreed with him respectfully, but he just outright said that there is absolutely no exception. So, you know what I had to do.

I scoured through his entire twitter account and made a program that would detect a bunch of whitelisted words. I found one where he uses the word “faggot” to refer to one of his friends. Keep in mind, he was probably 14 when he posted that. I just sent him the message, and suddenly he got all pissed and said that I shouldn’t scour though his messages and that I’m being a pompous ass.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA he was pretty much asking for it when he said that and you did what most people would do, he shouldn’t have posted it in the first place ######


Prompt:
We're 21, for the reference.

I have mainly lovely classmates, but this guy (M) is something else, he's a year older (he studied abroad for a year and had to repeat the classes as our school is very strict) and you cannont imagine the level of annoyance. I'd describe him like a weird mix between a xenopfobic boomer and your constantly nagging 13 y.o. brother.

We were assigned a final project for our literature class and I was in the same group as him. Fun. It had to be my lucky day, because my period arrived.

Anyway, we were having a skype "meeting" and I wasn't well. At all. At one point M started making fun of me for looking pale and I just told him, I had my period, so if he was so kind as to shut up I'd be grateful.

Instead he continued making those clichè jests (sexist, too) about how it meant I was going to be hysterical and have a lots of pimples while crying at romcoms.

I was so fucking agry! So I started to explain him "the real" struggle. How some women have fevers, how there are horrible cramps, sensitive breasts, blood, being tired, weirds poop-routines as ovaries do some weird magic, sensitivity to smells/perfumes, feeling dirty, HOW EXPENSIVE ALL THE SHIT IS etc. Then I told him all about exhausting men who think, women just fake all those struggles so they what, have their daily dose of drama?

Long story short, it was a TED talk. Afterwards he was too shocked to say anything, and some of my girl-friends started to list their own problems. So I presume he really got scared the picture. (More like a whole gallery of pictures.)

We finished the project and called it a day.

One of my female friends wrote me how it was all unnecessary and we'd taken it too far, embarrassing him. She also told me she didn't want to know about my period.

Should I have shut it? I mean, I'm from a family where is not a taboo, so I could cross the line. However, who tf pokes fun on someone because they are pale? ######

Response: NTA he wanted to joke about your suffering then you explaining your suffering is on the table . Periods are basic bodily functions it’s not like you were sending pics of a bloody pad or something ######


Prompt:
I know I know, but hear me out.

So my neighbor (25?M) runs a prank youtube account (it's up and coming, you may have seen it) and he basically scares women to "show the struggle of women and what they go through."

So I (21F) was standing in my driveway getting ready to go for my morning run. I take my first step and all of a sudden I see a man pop up from behind my car and and tries to grab my wrist. My heart was in my goddamn throat. I screamed, took out my pepper spray, and I'm not going to lie I went a little crazy with it. That's when I see it's him, and he's obviously not happy.

He's okay, but now he's threatening legal action for the medical bills. After he got checked he told me it was just a social experiment or whatever but he was on my property without my knowledge and I just got scared. AITA? ######

Response: NTA He wanted to assault you on camera to put the encounter up online to show what women do when they're in danger to prove what? If he was on women's side in this shit he should be glad your prepared to not become a victim. You might want to file a police report against him just to cover your bases. Really, what an asshole. ######


Prompt: My older brother volunteered to babysit my 2 nephews while my other brother (his dad) and his wife work. I told them from the beginning I didn’t want to help watch them cause I work 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and the days i have off i wanna rest. Lately the brother who volunteered has been complaining that hes tired and needs help. I told him already I didnt want to cause i need to rest for work. He got mad and said i should help and said i was being lazy. I reminded him he volunteered himself to watch the kids not me so it sounds like a personal problem more or less. Starting tomorrow i work 12 hour shifts until friday  covering for someone, my mom called me and asked me to help but i said no. Now my phone is blowing up with texts saying im being an asshole. Am i though? ######

Response: NTA he shouldn't have committed to that if he couldn't handle it ######


Prompt:
My husband is a gamer through and through. Right now his game of choice is Call of Duty: Whatever version is out right now. He games 3-4 nights out of the week.

I... am not a gamer. Mostly, it makes my eyes water and I run around aimlessly. Case and point: I button-mashed my way through Tekkan as a child, and only grinded in Tony Hawk Pro-Skater. I enjoyed the way I played the game, but have never played a game to beat it.

For my birthday this year my husband bought me the game Animal Crossing: New Horizon and I have really been enjoying it. If you play, you know that the multi-player capabilities of this game are lacking, and you can only have one island per switch. I created my island, named it, and invited my husband to create a character to play.

I play two nights a week (maybe), but that is all I want to play. My husband has started playing the switch during the day and **I feel** has taken over my island. I was moving at my own pace, but he has started playing as me and hits every milestone for me. I was ACTUALLY playing this game, just in the mosey-about way I enjoy. I have alluded to him taking over my island and flat out asked him to stop playing, because he plays video games all the time, and this is the first video game that I have had interest in since Tekkan. He is still playing it daily. I know he wants us to have a game together, but I feel like my island doesn't even feel like what I wanted at all.

AITA? Should I embrace his want to connect via videogames? But how do I overcome his need to complete every part of the game obsessively? ######

Response: NTA He should not play as you. He should either play his own character, despite the gameplay being less good, or he should buy his own copy to play as his own main player. ######


Prompt: So when I moved in with my roommate it was agreed that everything would be split 50/50, rent, utilities all that. So he decided in the middle of the lease that he wanted to move out and buy a house with his gf. While we had agreed to wait until the end of the lease, two days after that conversation he announced he put a deposit down and was going to move out. This meant breaking the lease and having to pay a the penalty. While i did get blindsided I agreed that i would pay half of the fee in an effort to save what is left of our friendship of 3 years. On top of the penalty we got charged damages that were all in his bedroom because of his cats. I told him that I wasn’t going to pay for damages in his room as I wouldn’t expect him to pay for damages in mine. Now he is acting like I broke the 50/50 agreement and has an attitude because I won’t pay for his damages. Let me tell you the room is gonna have some major deep cleaning done before they can rent to apartment again. We are talking hundreds of dollars of work that needs to be done. Meanwhile I have been fronting money for the utilities, he still owes me them for May and is saying that he won’t pay for the June utilities because he moved out. AITA for not paying for damages in my exroomates bedroom? ######

Response: NTA he seems to be trying to to get you to pay for as much as he can. He hasn't even paid his part of the bills, who's to say he won't try to skip out on the cleaning and repair bill, once you've paid your "half"? You already paid half of a penalty that he caused ######


Prompt:
First time AITA poster so sorry if my formatting isn’t great!

I (21F) went to the supermarket today to get food and I parked near a trolly collecting bay, where there was a worker collecting trollies. As I pulled out of my carpark the employee (probably late 20’s M) signalled me to stop. I just assumed I had left my purse on top of my car or something silly like that and lowered my window to find out.

The employee then said hello and started asked my name, if I was single, and my age and then tried to have a short chat with me, concluding “it was worth a try” when I told him I was not single. It appeared that he may have been not fully neurotypical and aware of the uncomfortable situation he was placing me in. I shut down the conversation quickly and politely but left the shops feeling quite uncomfortable, especially the fact it was an employee who did this while he was working.

WIBTA if I reported him to his employer? I’d hate to get anyone fired or in serious trouble especially given the current economic climate and the fact he may not have known what he did was wrong, but I also worry that he may do it to someone else who was not as confident in getting themselves out of that situation. ######

Response: NTA he needs to know that's not ok and if it's the first time then he won't get fired ######


Prompt:
For starters, he uses my car because his is wrecked (not a car accident, he didn't do repairs when needed and eventually everything started failing). I only have my temps because of the lockdown, and I'm giving it another week or so until the lines are short enough for me to be willing to take the driving test. Since I cant drive as much as him, I've been letting him drive mine. Before his car ultimately died, I helped him clean it out. It was like a goddamn hoarder's house it was so disgusting. Moldy food in fast food bags, dozens if not a hundred half empty bottles of drinks, and god knows what embedded in the seat fabric. I had completely vacuumed and deep cleaned every inch of my car when I bought it (2004 grandpa-mobile so it was in need of a good clean, and I treat it like my child because I paid for it by myself as my first vehicle). Within a week of him driving it, there were crumbs on the floor and not a single cupholder was empty. Not only this, but he accidentally left a bag of buns under the seat. I told him to take it out when I found it, he left for work, and I realized it was still there weeks later because he forgot about it again. Moldy af. I had to clean everything again myself, and snapped saying that the next time I find so much as a straw wrapper left in the car he wont be allowed to drive it anymore. He is saving up for a down payment on a nice car so I've been patient with him, but he's starting to make messes again.

WIBTA if I finally stop letting him drive it? He would have to take uber everywhere which would slow down his buildup of savings. ######

Response: NTA he needs to have the decency to respect your things especially since you're doing him a favor. I wouldn't let him drive my car anymore personally because that's gross and once you've let something MOLD in my car idc who you are youre not getting in my car. ######


Prompt:
My (32f) brother (25m) was made my ward (well limited ward) when our parents died when I was 26. He has High functioning autism, I believe Level 1 is the severity of it, on the three level scale. He’s very intelligent, went to college, you know he’s mentally all there.

I was given control over many aspects of his legal self. Due to his impulsiveness, gullibility, social difficulties, and such.

Recently my brother has gotten mad over his lack of control of his life. So he asked me to relinquish guardianship entirely. The problem is he’s still just as bad with money, he’s still really bad with scheduling and stuff like that, and while he’s made strides in social interactions he still clearly has deficits. I mean he thought he was going to get married to a boy he met just a week earlier at one point.

So I told him no for his own good, now he’s been really cold to me since than. I got him  some makeup and a bunny rabbit as a gift and he’s been distracted enough by it that I think he’s forgotten for now.
But that won’t last for ever, AITA if I deny his request for relinquishment of my guardianship?

Edit: he lives in an apartment near me, across from me to be exact ######

Response: NTA he needed a guardian for a reason. Can you guys start slowly working towards him having more responsibility? An allowance that he can manage on his own, letting him run his own schedule for a week to see how it goes, etc. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé bought his first bike a week and a half ago. It’s a manual. He’s just learned how to keep from stalling. He’s had a hard on about riding everywhere we go and he’s never driven in the rain or when the roads are slick. He wanted to go to his friends house about 35 minutes away to show off the bike. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that because he’s...
1) Not experienced
2) Not licensed
3) Has NEVER driven the bike in the rain
4) Is not a responsible driver
He left with the *biggest* attitude, told me he was big enough to make his own decisions, I was being unreasonable, and took the car. I’m not very knowledgeable about bikes and bike safety and feeling a little guilty. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA he is going to get himself or someone else hurt. ######


Prompt:
So my ex and I have split our custody with our son. I told him all week that I’d be really sick this weekend and wouldn’t be physically able to take care of our son. Either him or my mother would watch him. I knew I was having a medical abortion towards the weekend (now) and didn’t know how bad it’d be, but also didn’t go into detail that’s what I was doing because I didn’t feel comfortable discussing it and the current pregnancy was from my current partner.
Today I’m laying in bed and he comes in saying he finally got a job and starts tomorrow, that I would have to watch the baby. I told him I couldn’t (tomorrow is the day I take the second set of pills to the abortion and I expect a lot of pain) and that I already talked to my mother about her watching him, she said she would. I told him to call her and he was not having it (he hates calling her). After we exchanged a few more words and me finally saying I wanted to be alone because I was feeling sick he yells at me “well it’s not MY fault you went and had an abortion” and I didn’t know how to reply.
Fast forward an hour later where I text him and tell him we need space. He asked why and I gave him an explanation- that it really hurt my feelings and I was going through a lot emotionally as is. He then sends me a lengthy text saying that “You are a parent before anything and I need you to please start acting like it. Us being apart will require you to be more active in [sons name] day to day life. So think before doing something that’s gonna make you incapable of helping him. When we have a schedule, it’ll be simpler. Get your shit together and stop blaming everything for what you do to yourself.” Copied and pasted text. I then called him and he told me to stop acting like a teenager and said I was a bad parent. Now I’m laying in bed feeling guilty about letting my mother watch him over the weekend. I feel like I’m wronging my son. AITA???? ######

Response: NTA He is being completely unreasonable. Apparently because he didn't want to have to call your mother. You had a medical issue and handled it like an adult. Your child needs supervision, so you made two plans in case one fell through. He bailed on the kid and didn't make any plans for dealing with it. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have been married for 3 years and we both agreed we were child free. I told him up front if I got pregnant I would have an abortion. He said that was fine.

Well a month ago I found out I was pregnant. I told him, and that I was going to get an abortion. He freaked out and said that I was killing his kid and couldn’t.

We fought about it for a week and then I just went anyway. He moved out and said he was going to divorce me. I haven’t heard from him since.

I’m pretty fucking pissed off, since we agreed we were child free and now he’s going back on it and freaking out. AITA? ######

Response: NTA he either changed his mind or thought you would change your mind ######


Prompt:
Me and my brother are 16 and 15, we are from a super religious family that like to push all that ‘you WILL visit your dad’ nonsense on us despite us not wanting to.

My bro and I are really close, he is autistic but has got a LOT better as he has got older (he was non verbal as a kid and had a lot of triggers, he’s verbal now and can control his triggers a lot better) anyway he still has meltdowns but i know how to look after him and deal with him.

My dad on the other hand always blew off my brother and made out that my brother could control his mental state etc and he would call my bro ‘Ralph wiggum’ as a really mean way of calling him dumb.

Anyway all my bro eats is tomato soup and grilled cheese when his routine is disrupted, I guess it’s comfort for him. I hate cooking and usually my mom makes it for my bro if we have to travel out of state or whatever but obviously he’s my brother and I’m gonna look after him.

My dad refuses to help with my brothers needs because he doesn’t believe in autism.

So I made him his grilled cheese when my stepsister (also 15) TOLD me to make one, no please or thank you, for herself. I said ask nicely and I will, so she just screeched at the top of her lungs for my dad and her mom.

They both came and started berating me saying I’m the oldest and I need to care for BOTH my siblings now and that I’m acting like a brat.

Then as a weird sort of power thing they stood over me and said ‘make her the grilled cheese’. I got pissed at being told what to do so I said no.

To make things worse my brother called her a word in front of my dad and his wife and that got us both grounded (they took our phones away) however I have my iPad in my bag so I’m on Reddit with that.

Am I the asshole cuz I didn’t make one for her? ######

Response: NTA he doesn't believe in autism? That's a new one. Wtf? No, nta, your family sounds terrible and they're raising a brat daughter who will grow up to also be terrible. ######


Prompt:
Ok backstory, this is all pre-covid. My neighbors property borders mine on 2 sides.

We did not have a fence between our yards, and both of us have dogs. I thought it might be advantageous to put one in, so my dogs could run free, without worrying about them getting out. I approached them about splitting the cost of the parts that adjoin our property, since we both would benefit, and he initially agreed.

I sought out a few quotes, and found what I thought was a good contractor, at a good price, and gave him a copy the quotes. Several days go by, and he says he no longer wants to share the cost of the fence. Just to be clear, I don't think it's a financial issue.

Ok, fine. I proceed as planned, this time I'm paying for the full cost, since this would make my dogs safe and happy.

The day of install comes, and our contractor has to reschedule. Bummer, but not the end of the world. That same day, I see a (different) contractor in my neighbors yard putting in...a gate and a few feet of fence going back to side his house.

I see this for what it is, and decide to teach wise-ass a lesson. Install day comes around again, and this time, instead of installing it on the property line, I asked the contractor to set this section back 1 foot.

This now means his gate is worthless since his dog can easily walk around it, unless he connects to the fence I paid for on my property, which he can't legally do, and I refuse to allow.

The wives are pissed at the whole thing, since previously we were all friendly, but it seems to have caused a bit of friction, mostly between the husband and I.

I humbly await your verdict. ######

Response:
 NTA He could have offered to pay you in installments but he completely backed out then tried to take advantage of YOUR fence. If he didn't want a fence, that's fine. But installing a gate as an extension off of your fence after declining to help pay for it, that's an A-hole move. The fact that he is making this into a big deal instead of just paying to fill that foot-long gap is ridiculous.

And adverse possession? Oh no, you'll lose 12 inches off your property edge! Small price to pay I say. ######


Prompt:
This story starts around February 2020,
So class finished and i told him how i felt about him. I didn’t realize that his friends were watching me from the back of the class. I think i embarrassed him and he yelled at me saying something along the lines of, “eww no.”

Later that day i got barrage of texts from him, “How could you think i would go out with you?” “You have medium length hair and are short, Also you should hit the gym.”

I was near devastated. See the problem wasn't that he wasn’t wrong as I know I could be more athletic and I am quite short. I was feeling really sad so i screenshotted the convo and sent it to my friend, asking her how to cope with it. She and I talked a lot about relationships and stuff.

Later that week she told a bunch of other people how my crush “ridiculed” me because i asked him out. The news spread around my friend circles and his friend circles so fast. Almost everyone in our grade knew about what had happened.

I got some more texts from him about how i ruined most of his friendships and how i’m a terrible person. I started to think that i might have actually ruined his personal life. A bunch of his friends started taking my side, and i just feel bad about it. His friends keep telling me it’s not my fault and i didn’t do anything wrong but I feel like i did.

So reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA he could have nicely said he wasn't interested. Instead he body shamed you and insulted you. You deserve better. ######


Prompt:
Basically my cat is trained to use the toilet bowl, I have two bathrooms in my flat and the cat uses the guest one, it’s always up and clean because the cat uses it and knows how to flush it (sometimes he forgets it), I clean it every day and my cat been doing it for the past 6 years.

My boyfriend just moved in with me and he hates it, even if we have our own bathroom and barely uses the guest ones, he says it is disgusting and awful, last night we had a huge fight because the cat didn’t flush it’s poo and now my ex is saying that he is going to live if I don’t litter box train my cat, but I see no point doing it since the toilet is much more hygienic.

So AITA for not wanting to change my cats habits to make my boyfriend happy? ######

Response: NTA he clearly has never dealt with a litterbox if he thinks that a litterbox is more hygienic and/or less trouble than occasionally flushing cat poo when the cat forgets. I’m super impressed that you trained your cat to do this!!! I WISH my cats would use the toilet instead of a litterbox .... ######


Prompt:
My husband had an affair a year and a half ago that only lasted a few months (according to him 😬😬), but which included a trip out of town that he obviously hid from me. Within a day or two of finding out about the affair, he cane to me and said he had made a huge mistake and asked if I would try to work things out with him. I agreed, and we have been in counseling trying to recover from it since then.

My husband is a big outdoorsman, and prior to the affair, he took at least two (sometimes more) trips a year to fish, hunt, etc. since the affair, he has been on a few trips, but he has always taken one of our kids or left our home with a friend, etc. This weekend was his first trip post affair where he left our house to go meet his friends at a fishing lodge.

Before he left, I asked that he not go radio silent on me like he used to do on his trips (before the affair when our marriage was not up to par). I requested two text messages, one in the morning and one at night just to say hey etc. not asking for FaceTime, not even asking for a phone call.

He has refused to comply and is totally disregarding me. Calling me crazy and a psycho for asking for this. AITA for asking him to check in given our history and that I am trying to rebuild my trust in him? ######

Response: NTA He broke the trust. These are not complicated requests. He needs to be more than happy to attempt to rebuild and affirm your trust, based on his past. While fishing can truly be exhausting (being out on a boat for 10 hours a day can send you to bed as soon as it’s dark- Believe me I’ve seen my dad come home from fishing tournaments ready to fall out), he should WANT to FaceTime you when he’s back to the place he’s sleeping to say good night and to put your mind at ease. It’s purely rebuilding a foundation. It’s also just a nice thing to be on a trip and let her know you’re thinking about her. This shouldn’t be hard or complicated. ######


Prompt:
This is my first post on this sub, however, I'm kinda nervous about posting this, since I do know that some friends have reddit and may rat me out if they ever find this...

Anyway, today is the beginning of July, meaning that my birthday falls this month. I had everything planned out for my birthday party: dates, events (which can still work out since restrictions are at ease) and most importantly, guests.

I wanted to invite a specific group of people as they are my close friends and they have been there for me for years. But do you ever have that friend that wants to go to every outing you go to and ask why they aren't invited? Those people irk me...

One of my friends found out that my birthday was this month and asked if we were going out for drinks. I told him that he wasn't invited since everything was all planned out. Other than him not being close to me, he wants me to get super drunk one night to the point where I can't walk and my liver gets fucked and perhaps want me to embarrass myself in public.

I was pretty straightforward with telling him that he wasn't one of my guests. However, other friends just ganged up against me saying that I'm dogging them.

I just felt that it is my party and I can invite who I'd like to. I just want it to be a chill party with a small group of friends and I could perhaps have a drink or two and not something super rowdy with a large group where I just can't walk the next day.

Kind of feel like the asshole, but I feel that Reddit should debate this based on my situation...

TLDR: Planned a party, friend finds out about birthday, told him that he wasn't invited, other friends accused me of "dogging the boys" ######

Response: NTA he asked, you responded honestly. I don't see why people think they can gang up on you for having your birthday party the way you want, with the guests you want ######


Prompt:
My fiancé’s dad provided for the majority of his life: house, clothes, condo, school, everything he needed. That being said, he was a horrible father. He would beat and abuse my fiancé and restrict him of a lot of freedom growing up. Once he made my fiancé sleep outside their house as a punishment and in turn he got the flu and had to be hospitalized. He even invalidated our relationship for a long time saying that “it will pass and you’ll regret ever getting married.”

Having heard all the stories and witnessed how uncomfortable my fiancé is whenever he’s around his dad, I decided to not invite him to our wedding (with the approval of my fiancé of course.)

As we were setting up the guest list, his mom noticed his dad isn’t there. I didn’t think this would matter because they’ve been separated for a while due to him cheating and housing a “sugar baby” in a condo for years. I thought she’d rather him not be there too, but apparently not because she told me that he’s family and that he should be at his son’s wedding.

She told this to her sisters and they all agreed that my fiancé’s father should be able to see him get married after “raising him to be the man that he is.” That it’s the least we can do for him seeing as he paid for my fiancé’s entire life until he became independent.

They knew this was my initial decision because my fiancé wouldn’t be brave enough to do it so they’re now calling me selfish and not recognizing my reasons for not inviting him. I don’t owe him anything, he will just make my fiancé feel terrible the whole time, and it’s OUR day. But I’m starting to see their point so IDK if I’m an asshole here or what.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA he abused your fiance, he doesn't deserve to see you two get married. Besides, it's your wedding; why are you letting others have input in your guest list? ######


Prompt:
Quick things to remember
 •pregnant girlfriend
•we had a little scare 2 weeks ago which led to my girlfriend having to stay in the hospital for a total of 6 days regarding the baby.
•one of the doctors orders was to stay the least stressed possible

  I work night shifts so the afternoon started just like any other until about three hours into my shift. My girlfriend sends me multiple text about how horrible her mother made her feel when she reviled to her she was getting the tdap shot. So I simply sent her mother a text that stated “With all do respect I would appreciate if you wouldn’t stress ally out over something so trivial as the tdap shot. I trust that she will do what she feels is best for her and the baby and we all need to respect that. We value the opinions of medical professionals far more than anything that can be googled. “ which she responds with “ Listen she's my daughter and I will inform of what I wish . With all do respect . “ so at this point I’m pretty livid and sent a not so nice text next,using some profanity while reminding her of the incident we had just gone through. She proceeded to tell me how this is an issue that only deals with her and her daughter (my girlfriend). I remind her that the baby inside her daughter is also mine which makes this my issue, while letting her know that just because she is grandma, doesn’t mean she’s entitled to be apart of my sons life. ######

Response: NTA grandparent or not, not her baby and not her choice. ######


Prompt:
So my sister was visiting my house yesterday with her 3 1/2 year old kid. When it came to dinnertime, the kid didn't want to eat. Not unusual, but after like 10 minutes of fighting the kid asked for some water and my sister refused to give it to her until she took "3 big bites" of food. They kept fighting for like 40 minutes and it was starting to freak me out honestly cuz like... I was thirsty af, so the kid probably was too, and I wasn't gonna get water right in front of her. What if she genuinely couldn't eat cuz she was thirsty? It's not like the kid was asking for juice or milk, just water. Idk, I feel like that should never be withheld. But I also am not and never plan to be a parent, so I don't know.

*Referred to as "the kid" cuz I think stories with fake names get confusing*

So WIBTA if I told the kid she can have water any time she asks in my house? Or should I let my sister parent her way? ######

Response: NTA give the kid water. Refusing water is definitely a form of abuse. ######


Prompt:
My mom has wanted someone to come professionally deep clean our house for a long time. It’s pretty expensive, so I suggested paying my boyfriend to deep clean since he’s very good at cleaning. She agreed and named her price, but later she made a snide comment about how my boyfriend should’ve offered to clean our house for free

I got extremely pissed because my boyfriend never asked to be paid for this. Paying him to clean our house was a conversation between me and my mom. My boyfriend had no idea that we even wanted him to clean her house.

She defended herself saying she would’ve paid him more if he had never asked for money. I kept trying to explain to her that he never asked her to pay him because he didn’t even know we were thinking of hiring him until I told him. My boyfriend would have done this for free if I asked him, but I just don’t feel comfortable asking someone to clean my mom’s house without paying them.

I lost my patience and blew up on her and told her she shouldn’t expect people to do her huge favors for free all the time, even if she pays them as a thank you. I also lectured her about how cleaning your whole house isn’t a normal favor and she shouldn’t have had any expectations my boyfriend would do this for free. ######

Response: NTA give someone an inch they'll want a mile ######


Prompt: My girlfriend is really set on moving into this apartment, but the building doesn’t allow dogs and I have no close relatives to take care of my dog, who’s name is Gumby. I (24M) just recently graduated from University of Colorado and it was a huge step for me considering the rest of my family is living in Connecticut. My grandma living here was what really set it apart from other schools but when she passed away there was no other place to keep my dog but in my dorm. I also met the perfect girl here. She’s pretty, nice, funny, has a great personality, and other than this instance our relationship has been smooth. But now that we have both graduated we are planning on moving in together. She has her heart set on this 1 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment that is fully renovated for $800/month, which we could definitely pay for. The dealbreaker is, they don’t allow dogs like Gumby and this guy has helped me through some TOUGH times, and letting go of him could be one of the hardest things to do. We have gotten in multiple arguments thus far and she is so set on this place she won’t even look at other places in the same building that have an extra bedroom for a lower price. It’s started to really stress me out, and I just need the popular opinion. ######

Response: NTA Girlfriends come and go but a dog loves forever. Having to give up your dog may foster resentment in you if you didn’t want to ######


Prompt:
I (26M) am about to propose to my GF. We talked about it so she kinda expects it to happen. Still, I want to keep the surprise of when and where I would ask her.

The actual problem is that I am not really good with jewelry and style. Even in the past when I gifted some piece of clothing to her (for some bday for example), we always shopped together.

She always seems happy about it and I usually say that spending that time together is part of the gift and a treat to both of us.

Since an engagement ring would remain for life, I was thinking to propose using a "replacement ring" (for example a toy ring or a cheap one), which she can even hold on to as a memory, and ask her to buy the ring together in our first "fiancee" shopping.

I was thinking to say something along the lines of "Will you marry me? I want to be with you for the rest of our life. Starting this Saturday so I can get you the ring you deserve".

I was speaking with my sister yesterday and when I told her, she said I am TA because I am too lazy to get her an actual ring and if so don't know my GF tastes maybe I don't know her enough to marry her.  I was taken aback and left wondering... Am I TA if I follow my original plan? ######

Response:
 NTA get a silicone ring to propose with. That way she can wear it when an expensive ring doesn’t make sense.

I picked out my own ring. Honestly when we started shopping i was shocked at what I decided on. I tried on many styles and if my BF had picked what i had thought I wanted I would have hated it.  Online/window shopping is very different than seeing them on your hand. ######


Prompt:
The timeline on this one is kind of extended, sorry

October 2015 - Sister announces her engagement and sets the date for February 2017

January 2016 - my wife and I announce we're expecting a baby after 4 years of trying. We waited until after the first appointments so we could tell mother the due date - Sept 21. Now, our 6yo had been a month and a half early, and the doctor warned us it could very well be the case again, so we knew we probably wouldn't make it to the 21st. Sister immediately announces she's moved the wedding up to Sept 3rd, and the chaos ensues. My wife and I knew from the start if the wedding was so close to the due date, we probably wouldn't be able to make it. Neither Mother nor Sister handle this news well, and we argue for several months

July - mother agrees to take my daughter to the wedding and keep her over night so she can still be the flower girl.

August - Mother forgets this arrangement and says she and Dad want to party the night before so they didn't want to be responsible for a child. She told me I was expected to either stay the night, or drive out, drop her off the day of, and either drive back (4 hours round trip) or stay for the wedding. I told her my sister would unfortunately have no flower girl, as my wife is in prodromal labor and cannot make it to the bathroom without several contractions.

The week of the wedding, the entire family keeps blowing up my phone. Sister decided to make it an extended camping trip for the family and wedding party. My parents took 5 days off for the wedding, and spent that time trying a combination of yelling and guilt tripping to get me to go.

Sept 3 - the wedding proceeds and my wife and I are in the hospital (AGAIN) for a stress test because she has been having contractions for 3 hours. We hear nothing from the family.

Sept 7 - my wife is admitted into the hospital. The baby is born at 4:23am the next morning.

AITA for not attending the wedding without my wife? ######

Response:
 NTA fuck no a thousand times.

Its your wife and child , you were 100% right to choose them over your sisters wedding. ######


Prompt:
So this is my first time in this position and I have no idea if I’ve made a huge mistake and put my foot in my mouth right now.

My (23f) partner (21m) and I are looking at moving in together. My flat lease is coming up and we’re looking at somewhere a little bigger (I’m in a 2 bed but the 2nd bedroom is fairly small).

He’s only rented student places and is from a very different area so I guess he was naive about prices. He has a job lined up for September but won’t be making a huge amount. It’s a great position but pay will be low in his career. I however have a very well paid position. I’m two years older and further in my career and happen to work in a well paying field.

When looking at rents he can’t really afford much. So I suggested we look at splitting is as per salary sacrifice. So instead of 50/50 look at how much of a pay sacrifice it would take per percentage (eg my current place only costs 30% of my wages. So add say 30% of his and use that as a rent). This would enable us to afford some of the places we’ve looked at and I’d still be paying the same as I am here.

He got super offended and has now stated he’s questioning being with me overall. He said me suggesting I pay more was belittling. He doesn’t seem to think how I said it was the problem which was my though (checked I hadn’t come across sarky/annoyed) but he genuinely has a problem with my suggestion at a base level.

So reddit, was I an asshole to suggest I pay more because I earn more? Thanks in advance. ######

Response:
 NTA from my view, it makes complete sense to do it that way given you’d pay what you’re already paying.

I’d be more concerned about his attitude that it’s belittling. Does that mean he has a problem with you earning more? If that wage difference continues will it fundamentally be a problem for him? Does he equate his personal value to his monetary contributions?

I’m in a pretty similar situation as you insofar as I am older (29f) than my partner (25m) and earn abouuttt $25kpa more than him, and he’s actually said that if my career is better off than his when we have kids he will be the stay at home parent if I’m earning more. ######


Prompt: So, I'm in high school and a few of my friends are Non-binary or trans and I try to be supportive, I have a good relationship with my parents and so I tell them a lot about my friends including referring to my friend (Let's call him Fred) who asked me to use they/them pronouns by those pronouns, it confused my parents so I asked Fred if there was anything else they'd prefer to be called instead of they/them and he blew up at me saying I outed them to my parents when my parents don't even know and that I was being disrespectful, I've never had any friends like Fred before the last year and it was never explained to me how to refer to them in front of my parents. A while back Fred sent me a post with no context saying that I was a horrible person and Fred says I'm horrible when he changes his name and pronouns and I don't use them because he didn't tell me that was what changed and I feel underappreciated. I want to continue to be friends with Fred, not only because I love hanging out with that friend group but also because I enjoy hanging out with Fred, so many of my other friends are telling me that Fred is toxic and I don't know what to do. Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA Fred doesn’t sound like a good friend, I would stop putting effort into it ######


Prompt:
I've been with my BF for a little over a year. He's known by those around him to be "the class clown" and into edgy humor.

The other day I was talking about how fall classes for my son (11 years old) are projected to go since Covid-19 hit. We were talking about school districts and potential liabilty issues when I said, "I'll send my son to school in a mask and if he gets sick, I can't sue the district. It's not like the teachers are trying to inject them with..."

I had a massive brainfart and meant to say "Covid", but my boyfriend then interrupted and said, "their semen?"

I know he's said sexually-charged jokes before and he's into "that's what she said" type of jokes, but this honestly creeped and grossed me out to the point where I told him I felt uncomfortable and cut our evening short.

I went straight home and he tried to call and apologize profusely, but I told him I wanted to take a few days to think and that I still felt gross and really creeped out by that comment. For what it's worth, I divulged to him my own trauma of a high school teacher I trusted who tried to groom me for sex, so I may be more sensitive on any jokes relating to that issue.

He's since sent me texts saying "I am so ashamed and embarrassed. I don't know why you'd want to be with me. Sorry for wasting your love and time." He also dropped off my stuff and my key while I was at home sleeping.

It feels like manipulation to me, but I'm having doubts now. Am I overly sensitive or too easily offended? Am I the asshole for feeling creeped out by this joke about my son? ######

Response: NTA for your reaction. It was super creepy that his mind went straight to semen joke when discussing your kid. ######


Prompt:
Long story short, i knocked up some girl and knowing i fucked up i signed away paternity rights and agreed to pay child support. I later found out after 12 years of paying 50k in child support that she fucked around 6 other dudes at that time and just chose me to be the father (not telling me about the other dudes) because i was the most financially stable. What a fucking cunt

So I’m suing her for child support. She is calling me a asshole for doing this because she has no family support and only makes 35k a year, and that since i make 110k a year i shouldn't be so mean. I told her that's her only fucking fault and i don't care, i want my fucking money back and i don't care if that financially destroys her, i had my wages garnished to pay for some child that wasn't even mine. I know for a fact that child support money wasn't even going towards that kid, it was going for her to go out partying with friends and her stupid MLMs.

A lot of people are saying she couldn't just made a mistake but i don't care, she had an obligation to find out who the real father was, and yes i am a dumbass for not getting a DNA test in the beginning, but i got one now and i have proof the child isn't mine. ######

Response: NTA for wanting your money back, but you probably wont get it, and in fact you're probably on the hook until the child is 18 or out of school. I'd talk to a lawyer ASAP. In the US people can still being obligated to pay child support for a kid proven to not be theirs because they accepted the responsibility in the past. Legally speaking, you've made yourself the father, even if its proven you're not the biological parent now. ######