Prompt:
For starters, I just wanna say that I love my MIL and we get along most of the time, but she’s really been getting under my skin lately.

My husband is an only child and his mom chose to take on a very traditional role as a mother. She didn’t work when he was little, did all the cooking, cleaning, etc., which is completely fine if that’s what she wanted to do. However, since I am now pregnant I have had to deal with increasing amounts of judgments and micro-aggressions from her.

Some examples:
1. Whenever she comes to visit she immediately starts cleaning and doing my husband’s laundry, all while questioning why the house isn’t better kept
2. She’s always talking about how people criticized her for not making my husband do any chores and how he turned out great. I love my husband and he’s perfectly capable of doing chores but it’s pretty clear that the lesson he learned is that it’s not his responsibility to help around the house, and only does chores if I specifically ask him too.
3. She is constantly judging my decision to continue working after becoming a mother, making comments such as “why would you have a child if you’re just going to go to work all day and send them to daycare?” I know she wants to come stay with us for a while after the baby comes and I’m grateful for the help but I almost don’t want her to because I don’t know if I’ll emotionally be able to handle the parenting criticism I think will come my way.

Today, she made a comment about how women are less successful in team based sports and esports because women are naturally more caddy and emotional. I was already in a bad mood for the aforementioned reasons and responded by telling her that her comments were extremely sexist. She didn’t really say much back and moved on to a new topic but I could tell I hurt her feelings. AITA? ######

Response: NTA-you need to put your foot down right now. If she's allowed to say these sexist things in YOUR house, your kid's going to be influenced as well. Do you really want your MIL to be telling a granddaughter she has to clean up whilst the grandson goes playing? Unless you want this to repeat, you need to shut it down now. ######


Prompt:
So I'm gay. I've come out to my parents when I was 14. My mom was distraught and my dad didn't seem to care. My mom was mad at me for over 2 months, but eventually came to terms with it. Though she does make passive aggressive remarks saying she can't wait for me to marry a girl and whatever, she still asks about my bf from time to time and she's still amicable towards me so it's all good. My dad and I .. don't talk to often. Only when we work on things together do we really talk. He often makes comments on what traits are attractive in a girl, what kind of girl to marry, etc etc. When I was 15, I told my dad in a sort of awkward way "dad I'm dating Mike, he's been my boyfriend for 2 years" and he seemed to just brush it off and continued to talk about girls and well I didn't correct him going forward.

&#x200B;

Last night, I told my mom me and Mike would be moving in together and were probably gonna get married soon (we're 23/23). I know it seems a bit early but we've been dating each other for like 10 years now and well, we still like each other so that's probably a good sign. My mom was extremely upset as although she still supported me, she still hoped that "I'd change my mind and marry a girl" but again, she's not aggressively harsh towards me and we're still on good terms so it's not a big deal. My dad however... apparently just found out I was gay. He was extremely upset with me and asked me why I didn't tell him sooner so he could change my mind/prepare for this. I sorta just told him well dad... I did... twice but he apparently had no memory of this. He was furious at me for not giving him time to prepare for the "loss of his son" and well, I kinda expected this eventually (a lot earlier honestly). AITA for not pressing this matter earlier? I've been comfortable with my sexuality for a long time, and I guess I could've pressed in the fact as over the past 8 or so years, I've sorta been leading my dad on by not correcting him. ######

Response: NTA-You did tell your father multiple times. It’s not your fault he brushed you off because you were telling him something he wasn’t willing to hear. ######


Prompt:
I went out to dinner with my husband and our neighbors. My husband is a native Spanish speaker and I am mostly fluent. During the dinner, I got a few texts from the babysitter saying that my son had diarrhea in his pants and was crying from an upset stomach. Another came a few minutes later saying he didn’t have a fever and the babysitter had it under control and we didn’t need to come home early. I saw the texts after the second one came in so I got the whole story at once.

My husband asked what was wrong and I quickly told him in Spanish because I didn’t want to talk about poop at the table, but I also didn’t want to just say that our son had an upset stomach because he’s been having some digestive issues so it’s important for us to know what’s going on. I also wanted to make sure that he didn’t want to head out early under the circumstances even though the sitter said she had it handled.

Well the husband of the other couple didn’t not take it well. He called us rude and demanded to know what we said. I tried to explain that my son was having a health problem and I didn’t want to toilet talk at the table, but he didn’t believe me and said that we were obviously talking about them. We both tried to reassure him that we weren’t, but he refused to speak to us for the rest of the meal. We ended up just making awkward small talk with his wife who looked like she was very embarrassed. However, when I retold this story to some friends, some said we shouldn’t have spoken Spanish in front of them because it was rude and it’s only natural to worry that we were talking negatively about them. Am I the asshole for speaking Spanish about my sons accident/illness at the dinner table? ######

Response: NTA-They were being ridiculous. I can understand them making that assumption but they should have believed you when you explained the situation. The husband was being all dramatic for nothing ######


Prompt: I 27(M) have been dating my girlfriend 24(F) for six months. I love wearing sweatpants when ever I can my favorite ones are my grey ones. Lately she started to ask me to change to a different color which I would brush off. Well yesterday she told me it was inappropriate to wear them outside the house. Now here where I might be the ass I told her since we were talking about things that bother us I told her not wearing a bra bothered me. She told me that that’s not the same and that it was The responsibility of men to not stare at her. I replied with it not my responsibility if woman want to stare at me. She got mad and left. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA-She’s correct it’s not her responsibility to make men not stare at her. You’re correct that it’s not your responsibility if you get stared at either. She doesn’t have to like your clothes but she doesn’t get to tell you what to wear. When she does it’s only fair you get the same opportunity to tell her what she should be wearing. ######


Prompt:
My older sister and I play pranks on each other occasionally. They’re usually minor stuff, like once she gave me ‘ice cream’ but it was frozen mayonnaise and once I taped down the spray tool in the kitchen so when she turned the faucet on it got her wet. Nothing major and nothing dangerous, just normal sibling fooling around.

On Sunday I woke up and my wheelchair wasn’t by my bed. Naturally, I kind of freaked out. I woke up pretty late and I could see my parents car wasn’t in the driveway, so I ended up calling my sister and asking her to come in to my room to see if she was home. She did, and pretended to act really confused.

Apparently her idea for the ‘prank’ was to pretend I’m not disabled. So she came in, I asked where my chair was and she was like “What do you mean? You can walk.” It didn’t take very long to figure out she was joking, but I didn’t find it funny and said so. She was on the verge of laughing the whole time. After asking several times for her to drop it, she didn’t. It was clear she thought it was absolutely hilarious and I didn’t.

I ended up calling my mom, who was out grocery shopping. Now my sister is grounded and she’s mad and says it’s my fault for being a snitch and not having a sense of humor. While it technically is my fault she’s in trouble, idk if I did anything wrong and if I was too sensitive or if she’s overreacting and it was a bad prank. ######

Response: NTA-Pranks aren’t funny when they go too far such as taking your wheelchair. ######


Prompt:
For context, my two friends (20F) and myself (19F) are all queer. This happened a while ago, but it still bothers me.

I’ve only been in two serious relationships and both of them have been with cis men. Still, I identify as a pansexual as their gender doesn’t matter to me.

In my first relationship, I didn’t really notice that my friends were acting any different from when I was single. After a while, things become more obvious. They’d stop talking about girls when I joined the conversation and switch topics. They didn’t want to tell me about their crushes, but I didn’t really mind, it’s up to them whether they want to tell me or not. But then it got more serious, I couldn’t talk about any issues concerning LGBTQ+, because apparently I couldn’t relate to them.

Now on to the main story. Pride is celebrated in my country and it’s a big deal for the community. We’ve wanted to go for years, but there was always a reason we couldn’t go. Except for this year, all three of us were free and I was really excited about it. I had noticed though, that they hadn’t brought it up for a while, so I asked them about it. They didn’t think I intended on going, because ‘I’d been living the straight life’. I told them that I still identified as pan and wanted to be treated that way. They answered that to be treated as pan I should be acting as pan.

That made me so angry. I thought our community was inclusive and I at least expected that from my own friends. I told them they were being biphobic/panphobic and that I didn’t even wanna go with them anymore. Basically they didn’t think you could be biphobic/panphobic when you’re queer. I said that they should be ashamed of themselves and I walked away. We’re still friends, but they still believe that I was an asshole for saying that, but I don’t know, am I? ######

Response: NTA-our community is supposed to be inclusive. But the reality is, a lot of members of the LGBT community are biphobic and transphobic. I would suggest looking into resources that can educate your friends on the validity of your sexuality so they stop trying to gatekeep, however it is not your job to educate them. ######


Prompt:
Looking for some other opinions to help with my perspective.

My wife saw an area rug she liked on Craigslist. It was described as in good condition and was close to where we lived. The seller was asking $40 and my wife called and asked to come see it. The seller was about 10 minutes away, and my wife arranged a time to go meet.

Her story upon returning with the rug was that she arrived at the destination to find the rug on the porch and the seller not home. When she unrolled the rug to look at it, she decided it was in poor condition and not worth the seller’s asking price. To be fair, she is a career interior designer and well capable of making this determination. However, she decided to leave $5 and take the rug to use for a different purpose than initially intended.

After she explained this to me, I insisted she return the rug or get agreement from the seller that she could have it for her $5 offer. I explained that taking something that was not hers for a not agreed on price was theft and, regardless of how inconvenienced she felt, it did not give her the right to unilaterally decide on all the terms of the sale without the sellers consent. Her claim is that the seller was inconsiderate for not being there at the agreed time and making false claims about the condition of the rug gave her the right to take it for whatever price she felt acceptable.

She wound up returning the rug but treating me horridly for more than a week for ”not backing her” in this situation. I will add that she did all of this in front of our teenaged daughters and I felt strongly it set a very poor example. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA-No matter how your wife tries to justify it that was theft. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend and I got into a big fight this past month where I discovered he and his ex were having less than friendly contacts with each other. They had basically slept together and kissed each time they parted ways.

We were on a break and agreed to work things out again. My boyfriend agreed to set boundaries but he wouldn’t tell me what they were after he had met with his ex for a talk. It’s been almost a month since and I still feel paranoid and distrustful of him and had already told him about this and me needing him to tell me the boundaries that were set. He told me to just have faith and trust him and so I did. We had a talk about this just two days ago. Prior to this I had made it a rule that he has to inform of when he will be seeing his ex again and kept it again after he refused to tell me their boundaries.

Just yesterday he went on a dinner with his ex where I suggested he should not pick up and dropped off the ex. He disagreed and tries to defend his decisions by saying that his friends does the same to him and asked why can I pick up and drop off my girl friends but not him. That it was a friendly thing he was doing. We ended up having a big fight. I tried telling him none of my friends were my exes who had asked me to sleep with them or had confessed to wanting to get back together with me and that it was obvious why. I told him he had to work for my trust as I still doubt he understood me.

My boyfriend apologize to me after he had gone on the date and ignored me all night saying he understands why I’m upset and that he won’t do it again. I told him it is a pattern of him doing the deeds and apologizing after and that I was fed up. He in turn said he’s getting fed up with my pattern of angry outbursts at him and my paranoia and controlling attitude.

I’m a bit floored by his response. ######

Response: NTA-lot of red flags here, he’s not over the ex and I guarantee he probably whines about you to her. Your best bet is to drop him as he will never fully commit to you so long as she’s around and from his behavior, it’s clear she will always be around ######


Prompt:
I've lost my son 2 months ago, He was only 25,he was disabled, he had cerebral palsy since birth.

My husband and I loved him so much and gave him all the love and care he needed to make through the difficult times.

Since his death I have been getting a lot of "advice" on how to move on in life and pretend like my son didn't even exist.
Just like what they did when my husband passed away two years ago, my Brother in law (husband's brother) has always been a total asshole to me, one week before my husband died he told my husband to not worry about me cause I will marry again.
He told this while he was dying!
My husband was a great man, he was a donor, He cared for our son and always wanted for him to be happy.

When my son died, right after we got back from the funeral, my BIL, and his wife stayed at my house for a whole week

He said "why are you still so sad for your son? You should be happy for him, you should be happy for both of you, Him not having to deal with his disability anymore  and you being free, now you can go live your life without having to have to take care of a disabled person"
"It wasn't like he was gonna make it to 50 right?"

I felt just awful, I got so angry with him, I told him he was an asshole and told him to get out of my house, he started running his mouth again and said "I know you're just acting out cause you're grieving, but that does not excuse your shitty behavior towards me and my wife"

Before he left, I told him to hand me the spare key to my house that he STOLE from my husband before he died, he lifted it up then instead of giving to me, he tossed it in the trashpin.
His wife was laughing on her way out, And I just stood there feeling awful, I cried my eyes out that day, and wished my son was there to comfert me.

Now he's calling me to say that wants me to come over and help his wife decorate his son's birthday party. ######

Response: NTA-I’m so sorry for your loss. You need to take care of yourself right now and a big part of that is not allowing people who don’t care for you around. ######


Prompt: My girlfriend asked me if she could access my Facebook to untag me from old photos. I said no then asked why. She showed an example it was a photo from about 10 years ago with me in a club with a girl hugging me and leaning on my shoulder. It was an ex but she didn't know that. I don't take many photos so I value people tagging me in theirs. ######

Response: NTA-Everyone has a past. She has no right to try and alter yours because she’s feeling insecure or controlling. ######


Prompt: He threw a fit after me and my mom were cleaning my sisters room, and I accidentally dropped a glass. He then unloaded the dishwasher, re-arranged the kitchwn dish layout, and moved my moms cups to a place where she can barely reach them. I sent him that, and he responds "They where there for half the time we lived here" I go "Well it hurts her back to get them, and she shouldnt have to climb to get them. I get payed to do the dishes, she does them 2/7 days a week, and he does them once a month, if that, and me and mom do 97% of cooking. ######

Response: NTA-But I think your mom needs to say something and put her foot down, he may not listen to you. ######


Prompt:
I (22F) went to visit a friend who needed some help from Thursday morning to Sunday evening. I asked my mom to look after my cat (visit in the evening, feed/give water/scoop litter) while I was gone. I always look after her dog when she's on vacation, so it was fine.

When I came back I found out she had reorganized my kitchen, including the insides of the cabinets. She threw out my 'normal' brush I use to scrub dishes (the one next to the dish soap, on the counter) and dug out my other brush (all the way in the back of the cabinet with cleaning supplies) and had used that to wash her coffee cup thursday to sunday. Apperently she thought it was a back up brush?

Problem is I use that brush for deep cleaning the litter box once a week. She was disgusted (understandably so) when I told her, and wanted me to apologize for not warning her about the brush.

I didn't apologise, she had no reason to go though my cabinets and reorganize my kitchen, she doesn't live here. There was no way she could have used the wrong brush if she didn't insist on snooping.

That was Sunday, we haven't talked very much since then. AITA for not apologising/not telling her? ######

Response: NTA-. Your mom is ego centric. She's blaming you for her pulling out something from your cabinets after rearranging your kitchen. ######


Prompt:
A few days ago, my SIL and brother had a kid. They wanted me and my mom to visit, (we social distanced and stayed outside). My mom brought a bag of presents and I bought one of those rattle toys.

My SIL was really mad because she felt like I didn’t get my nephew enough things, she also said the rattle looked cheap. My brother and I never got along and he stayed silent the whole time.

I’ve been saving for college and thought it was a nice thing to do but that was clearly not understood.

She never liked me and called me ‘child-hating’. She honestly really hurt me and I don’t think I’ll be visiting them again any time soon.

My mother also thought I was ‘way out of line’ for getting her something that wasn’t very expensive. We aren’t rich and just wanted to do a nice thing.

SIL said that it’s basic etiquette to bring nice things for a newborn and I clearly don’t understand that.

I’m starting to feel like shit, I don’t want the kid to grow up hating me because his parents don’t like me.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA--

WOW. Your SIL and brother sound entitled. Receiving a gift and saying that it looks cheap or that it's not good enough? Politely receiving a gift is something that you learn at like age 3.

OP, you are not TA. They should be lucky you even got them a gift. The thought counts. You don't owe them anything. ######


Prompt:
Recently, my church has started a new initiative wherein they encourage members to do "one good deed a week". Absolutely fine, nothing wrong with that at all.

However, they are also encouraging members to take photos/post online/tell people of their good deeds. This, in my mind, goes directly against what the Bible says.

The specific verse I'm thinking of is Matthew 6:1 "Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven." (NIV).

Which I take to mean - do good deeds, but not so you can show off about them, because it's good to do good things. Treat people well, take care of them etc, but don't then showcase how amazing you are for doing them.

So, WIBTA if I sent that particular verse to the same church group chat where people are showing of their church-sanctioned "one good deed a week"? ######

Response:
 NTA-- religious hypocrisy is gross. Fair warning though, you may want to soften it with a little intro like "Hey everyone, so glad we're doing these wonderful things for the community but l'm uncomfortable with how we are advertising the good works on social media.... (insert bible verse)"

I'm not saying that because I think religious hypocrites deserve coddling, but because religious hypocrites tend to be very sensitive when called out and if this is a primary social group for you that you want to keep, tread lightly. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been living in my home for just a couple years now. I’ve tried to spruce up my yard a bit with flowers and plants in the past, but they always end up dying rather quickly. I have a few empty decorative pots around the yard, and I don’t mind that they’re empty. I kind of like that they’re empty because it’s better than constantly looking at dead flowers.

I recently had a new neighbor move in next door. I’ve had a couple of annoyances with them in the last few months, but nothing too major and no confrontations have been made. They mainly are just not mindful of others’ space and have done things like put their belongings in my yard, let their dog wander in my yard, and constantly want to talk to me any time they see me come or go from my house. I will say though, my new neighbor has really put some work into their yard since moving in, and they are clearly better with plants than me. That being said, my neighbor has taken it upon themself to start planting plants in my yard. They did not ask me beforehand if they could do it, and they didn’t tell me after they did it either. I can appreciate the thought behind gifting someone flowers, but since I am already annoyed that they cannot seem to respect my space and property, I do not see this as a nice, neighborly sentiment. So a few days ago I dug the flowers up and tossed them in the bushes.
The next day my neighbor noticed and came pounding on my door to yell at me about the flowers. I told them that they were in my yard and therefore my flowers and I could do whatever I wanted with them. However, I still can’t help but feel like I’m in the wrong after seeing them have such an emotional response. AITA?

TLDR; my neighbor planted flowers in my yard without asking me and I dug them up. AITA? ######

Response: NTA-- it seems like it should have been a nice gesture? But they're invading your space in a lot of other ways, too. Hopefully they'll back off-- but consider, if you can, a fence. ######


Prompt:
I(22F) have a month old son. He’s an angel child for the most part. He only cries when he’s hungry or needs a diaper change.

However, recently he’s gotten to where he doesn’t like to be alone. And by alone I mean he doesn’t like to be put down. Which was fine at first. But now that I’m all healed from him ripping my vagina to my butthole, I’d like to do housework and shower and whatnot.

I used to pick him up EVERY time he cried or whined. But since I’ve learned the difference in his cries, I’ve stopped doing that. If he’s changed, fed, dressed, and loved, I’ll leave him to whine by himself.

After he’s all taken care of, I give him his pacifier and put him in his swing. He’ll whine for awhile(no more than 5min at the most), but eventually falls asleep or just hangs out looking around doing baby things.

Don’t get me wrong, it breaks my heart hearing him fuss and resisting the urge to pick him up. But he’s just whining. He’s not actually crying and doesn’t need anything.

Anyways, I’ve been told I’m teaching my son that I don’t love him and that he’ll be all alone in the world. I’m a bad mom for letting him fuss. And I’m an asshole for allowing him to sit there and whine.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA-- as long as you are talking about literally five minutes. That's about as long as a one month old should be allowed to try and self soothe. It is incredibly important during these early months of life that he learns that when he cries, he'll be taken care of. That's how secure attachment is developed and the impact will last a lifetime. So don't get sucked into the idea that he should be allowed to 'cry it out' for hours and hours, but fussing for a few minutes is totally fine. I have found r/Parenting very helpful for advice on this kind of thing, as well! ######


Prompt:
In my last 1½ years of high school I was a morgue assistant while also going to classes to be a vetrinary tech. I was a vet tech in a animal hospital for exotic pets for almost 2 years after high school.

I'm 23, in my 3rd year (out of 5) in school for a medical field. Since I have that experience I have a lot of the "hand skills" and am very good at the skills required to perform procedures, but I lack some of the backend knowledge.

The reason I didn't want to tell anyone about my experience is I didn't want to get any sort of passes. I know I have holes in the bit of knowledge I do have and I want to get rid of bad habits. That, and being a morgue tech is going to attract judgement I really don't want.

That experience does make me look like I know what I'm doing a lot more compared to classmates. I have a lot of experience with suturing, I have a lot of experience with placing especially difficult IV, I've participated in intubations, I've worked in surgery, I have experience with sterile procedure, I have lab experience, etc. To them it's just like I'm naturally good at it (which is far from the truth).

I've just chosen to ride the wave of my classmates thinking I'm naturally good. I eventually got in a situation where I had to tell a classmate that I had some prior experience without getting into exactly what I do, and now they're angry I didn't tell them before.

AITA here? ######

Response: Nta- your past experience is no ones business. However, if they asked you how you’re so talented and you conceal that information then that would be lying ######


Prompt:
Backstory: When I was 15, my dad came to see me and he gave me a pretty large sum of money. I used it to buy a computer for myself because I was the only one in my class who didn't have one. When I told my mum she freaked and she made me return the computer and give her the money so she could use it to take care of me.

Ever since then, anytime I make a mistake, she tells me I'm evil and I'm wicked and me buying the laptop instead of giving her the money was just proof of my wickedness. She tells me pretty often that I ruin everything I touch. I've been enduring this for 5 years because I made a mistake but I'm really fed up with it.

Yesterday I used her card by accident to pay for something and as soon as I realized my mistake, I refunded her money and apologized profusely. She proceeded to lecture me for almost 4 hours about how I'm the worst thing she ever did, I'm evil and my heart is full of wickedness.

I'm planning on moving out soon and I don't intend to tell her where I'm going because even though she's not abusive but I can't relax around her and I want to relax. I will let her know that I'm okay so that she won't worry. I just don't want her to know where I'm moving to.

WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA- Your Mum's abusive and I'd get out ASAP. ######


Prompt:
So I'm(15f) desi and if you're familiar with desi culture, the paler you are, the prettier. So there's a lot of colorism.

My dads side of the family is rather dark while my moms side is on the fairer side. I'm in the middle.

I got out in the sun a lot and if I don't constantly exfoliate my face, I look rather dark. Not terribly so, but darker than normal. My family tells me to take care of my skin more because "You're getting so dark, you're starting to get ugly", which I completely don't believe, because, what the fuck? So I'm just like "Yes aunty okay I'll do that" and leave it. There's no use trying to teach an old dog new tricks, right?

Due to recent events, I don't go outside and I wash my face more because "self care" and my skin is unusually pale, but it does have a beautiful healthy glow, which I'm proud of. Not the pale part, the healthy glow part.

So during a family video call, one of my aunts says my skin looks nice, and then they all start raving about my skin. And then they start talking about how pale I am. They say that my skin looks nicer like this, that my skin should be like this all the time, that I would be so much prettier if my skin was always this pale. And I'm kinda like *slight eye twitch* haha okay thanks let's move on.

*And then* one of aunts has the nerve to say something along the lines of "Finally, your skin isn't dark like your dads anymore." So I just kind of smile and hang up. This is the same aunt that said she would "Fix her nose too is something was *wrong* with it" like mine, when I said I wanted to get a nose job because I felt like my nose was too big, but I wouldn't because plastic surgery is haram.

My mom got mad at me and said my aunts were complimenting me and I had no right to get angry and even my dad said I was overreacting. I don't know, I hate all this "paler = prettier" bullshit, but I guess they *were* complimenting me, so I don't know. AITA? ######

Response: NTA- your mother should understand why you were upset. I would be upset too if I were you.  Next time you have a video chat you should wear a ton of bronzer and act like nothing is new. ######


Prompt:
My (24m) girlfriends (23) mom recently decided to invite herself over to our house once a week because she has virtually nothing better to do but sit around at our house and complain about most things in her life. When she is over she wants to see our three month old baby.

My girlfriends sister is in town right now from Nebraska and she had plans to spend time with her sister alone because her mom favors her sister more than all of her other kids. But instead of doing that, her mom invites her sister, her kids, and herself over to our home tomorrow morning to sit around. In no world is our home big enough for it but my girlfriend said yes, but told her mom I would stay in our room.
I suffer from anxiety around groups of people no matter the size and have been feeling a little down lately. The COVID pandemic has also prevented me from seeing my family at all this year.

Her mom threw a fit and said I’m acting like I don’t like them, when I reminded my girlfriend that not only has her mom never had a conversation with me, she also fails to realize that with myself working forty plus hours a week, I rarely get time to relax with my girlfriend and our son alone. I also pointed out that my family always talks to my girlfriend over the phone quite often, and genuinely likes talking to her.

Her mom said that’s crap, but also ignored the previous statement about my depression and anxiety. So reddit. Am I the asshole for not wanting to be uncomfortable in my own home and letting them have family time without me?

Side note, my girlfriends niece also lives with us, and that would add to the number of people in our already small living room. ######

Response: NTA- your mother is failing to realize that there are things she can’t understand like anxiety and etc. your just trying to feel okay in your own home, and your at the very least making an effort by letting as many people into your own home. And if the MIL won’t try and make an attempt with you with less of a crowd around, she can’t expect you to be absolutely social in a large space. ######


Prompt:
I am a 15 year old  boy with three siblings.  One of them is a girl. For the longest time me and my brothers 14 and 13 had to share a room and my sister always got her own separate room. The girl is 12 years old. Now that we are moving in with our mom new husbands my mom promised me that I would finally get my own room.

The other two boys are happy because they get more space and those boys are best friends. My sister is obviously gets her own room cause she is girl. So when we moved in we realized that it's a three bedroom house and my mom lied. Us boys are furious as we have to share the small room and my sister gets the second largest and my parents the master. The room is enough to fit us and our stuff has to go in the attic to make space.

This is a huge issue as none of us kids are going to have a proper area to study and we are fucked if one of us has a nightmare and screams in the middle of the night which was an issue in the past. I complained and tried asked my mom if we wear going to have at least the master bedroom in which she refused and told me it's my husband and mine room then told me that you should be grateful that you are having a place to stay and sleep as the homeless person don't even have a house to sleep in ######

Response:
 NTA- your mom lied. It should go

master: 3 boys
medium: parents
smallest: sister

Or at the least swap you guys and your sister. Your mom is being very selfish and uncaring ######


Prompt:
This happened a long time ago - when I was about 14 and on a family holiday to a holiday park kind of place (Center Parcs for anyone in Europe). When I was a young teenager, I was kinda chubby and didn’t get much attention from boys like some of my friends did.

So anyway, one Valentine’s Day, my family wrote a fake card from a ‘secret admirer’ guy asking me to meet him at a the central place (where all the bars and restaurants etc are). Straight away I thought it was BS and laughed it off saying yeah whatever. Well over the course of the day, my whole family (mum, stepdad and sister) basically convinced me it was real, promising they didn’t send it and just genuinely trying to convince me to go to the place we were supposed to meet. Eventually, I thought I’d just go when my younger sister said she’d come with me and we’d just hang out in the area. I wasn’t completely convinced but was convinced enough to go.

Sure enough, we get to the place, hang out for a bit and no one shows. All of a sudden, my mum and stepdad show up and they all start laughing saying it was a prank. I tried to laugh along but obviously I was completely humiliated. I think the worst part is that they still occasionally bring it up and laugh about it. Recently, I told them I thought it was a horrible thing to do and I actually don’t find it funny at all. They all make out I’m being being an asshole and can’t take a joke or that I’m too sensitive.

So, AITA in the sense that I should just get over it? ######

Response: NTA- your family is honestly horrible for pulling a stunt like that. Fuck them and their feelings. You’re entitled to feel the way you do because your family, who you’re supposed to trust, decided to pull some asshole shit like that. That’s not funny at all. It further brings down any self esteem that may have had and probably created some trust issues in your immediate family. I’m sorry that happened to you. ######


Prompt:
My dad and I aren't especially close. I was mostly raised by my mom, and I don't really see or talk to him too often. A large part of that was due to his ex-wife/my ex-stepmother. She was an awful, abusive person and she drove a wedge between me and my father. Thankfully, they divorced last year. My father and I were slowly beginning to repair our relationship.

Recently, my father began dating someone new. I'd heard about her from family members, but he never directly told me about her. Let me say now that I have no qualms about my father dating. This isn't that kind of story. Who he dates is strictly his business.

Not too long ago, my father invited me to his house. After the experience I had with my ex-stepmother, I wasn't really keen on meeting his girlfriend yet, so I asked if anyone else would be coming over while I was there. He told me no.

When I got there--surprise! Turns out his girlfriend was *already* there. So, no, technically, no one would be coming over. Now, his girlfriend seemed like a lovely woman. While I was there, I tried my best to act cordially towards her, but I was extremely uncomfortable.

Later, I told my dad that I was happy that he'd found such a nice woman, and that she seemed like a pleasant person. However, I have no intention of meeting her ever again. Who he dates is his business, and I have no relation to her. After my ex-stepmother, I do not want to have any contact with anyone he dates.

He told me that I needed to let go of the past, and that I was being narrow-minded. I admit that this is perhaps a bit unfair to his new girlfriend, but I really don't want to involve myself in his dating affairs. AITA for telling him that I didn't want to meet her again? ######

Response: NTA- Your dad shouldn’t have surprised you by having his girlfriend there. You’re already building back your delicate relationship and this hurt your trust. Prepare yourself because if he gets married again this woman will be an unavoidable part of your life (so long as your father is in your life). He finds this woman special and so he wants them to meet you. He was wrong for surprising you with her but he probably knew you wouldn’t meet her unless he made a surprise arrangement. Sounds like you have a long road of healing your relationship with your dad and this is something you both need to talk about with each other. ######


Prompt:
My younger brother doesn't do any of his chores properly. Parents asked him to do the dishes: there were plates in the cabinet with dried on food. They asked him to vacuum: he would just kind of push it in one path, one direction and left all kids of weird track patterns. They asked him to mow the lawn: he purposely broke the mower. When they gave him a manual push mower: he did it like with the vacuum.

Parents do some of the stuff but even I have to clean up after him. Parents say "we cleaned up after you, it's no different than that".

Yesterday this shift happened again and I refused to clean up. My Dad joked about how apparently learning to clean up after somebody else even when it shouldn't be your job is good experience to have before entering the workforce. Bruh wtf. My parents had to get the work done.

AITA for refusing to do chores? ######

Response:
 NTA- Your brother is learning that if he does something half assed, he can get someone else to do the work for him. Your parents should have him redo the chore until it's done right so that he starts doing the chore right the first time.

If your parents keep this up, if your brother ever has roommates they will hate him for this. ######


Prompt:
My brother and his girlfriend are expecting their first child, she’s very early on in the pregnancy.

We had a family meal not too long ago and I asked my brothers girlfriend how she was handling the pregnancy and if she was concerned about the babies future health?

She paused and asked what I meant so I told her; my sister has type 1 diabetes, both my parents have type 2 along with heart problems, my parents and sister have eye sight problems, my mother suffers from borderline personality whilst my father has an addictive personality (alcohol and gambling) one of my brothers has BPD, two of my brothers have autism as well, my grandfather had schizophrenia and my aunt had epilepsy.

Apparently my brother had told her precisely none of this and now she’s freaking out and considering terminating over it.

I’ve been getting texts from family that I’ve crossed a line and shouldn’t have told her, that I should’ve pulled my brother aside and asked him if he’d told her, some are telling me if she goes ahead with ending the pregnancy they don’t want to be in my life.

I myself have decided not to have biological children due to my family’s medical history.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA- Your brother is denying her some very important information. There's a chance this child could have challenges later in life. There's a chance this child will be 'normal'. If I was the gf I'd be very grateful for the information, and would take this time to research ways to be prepared in case the child develops issues later on. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I live with our 4 kids in a house that is pretty close to our next door neighbors. A year ago, a new family moved in next door with their 3 kids.

Our property technically extends until about 5 feet from our neighbor’s physical house, so we have always used that land on that side as a place to park an extra car or whatever.

Our new neighbor put up a basketball hoop for their kid in the driveway so that when their kids played, they were inching on what was technically our property. We had no problem with that because who cares.

However, eventually our neighbors began parking their car in that land. We asked them to stop because 1) sometimes we park there and 2) our kids play wiffle ball all the time in the back yard and didn’t want cars that are not us pulling in and out without expecting our kids to run out and also 3) it’s our property and we really shouldn’t have to explain more than that.

When we asked them to stop parking there, they said they didn’t understand why we couldn’t share the land as it had room for 2 cars and all the kids run around there and nobody has cared before. They even said they would move a car from there if we ever needed the space upon request. We didn’t really want to go down that road.

When they continued to park there, one day we had a fence built on our property so that they could not longer park there and now their kids could no longer play basketball there (the second part was not our intention). We did not tell them we were building the fence beforehand and our neighbors freaked out saying we were being selfish.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA- you’ve pretty much explained it all perfectly why too! It’s your property so you can do what you like. You asked polity and they still kept pushing boundaries this all could’ve been avoided if they were respectful of your request and not tried to bargain with you about your land ######


Prompt:
So a while ago I hooked up with this girl. She’s pregnant now and her parents kicked her out. Since it might of been my baby I said she could stay with me. But if the paternity tests said I was not the father she would have to move out.

Because of everything going on it took longer than  usual to get the results of the paternity test, but we got it back earlier today and I am definitely not the father.

So I told her that she can continue to stay for a few more days, but she has to leave by Saturday. Now she’s freaking out and crying because she says she has no money and nowhere to go and is asking me to let her stay longer.

I do sympathize with her situation, but I just don’t want her to stay anymore. She’s a nice person, but I don’t know her that well and don’t feel comfortable with her around and in my space all the time. More importantly though if she’s still here on Sunday she will have been here for 30 days which would make her legally a resident and then I would have a much harder time getting rid of her and you never know what issues could arise. ######

Response: NTA- you’ve extended more than enough generosity, and you’re completely right, after 30 days it will be much, much harder. You did the right thing and you had this agreement set in place with her that if you were not the father, she would have to leave. Her guilt tripping you into trying to let her stay makes her the AH imo. ######


Prompt:
some background information:
My family owns two houses, one in Pennsylvania and one in Brooklyn. Me (M19) and my sister (F21) are staying here in Brooklyn because we didn’t want to go up to Pennsylvania with the rest of my family. My other sister and both my parents are in Pennsylvania. They wanted to go up there to get away from you know what.

Ever since my sister and I were by ourselves, my mom calls me 4 times a day and asks me to see if my sister is okay because she never answers my moms calls or texts. I was getting seriously annoyed because pretty much every call or text I got from my mom was her asking for me to check up on my sister. It reached a boiling point when she called me at 9AM this morning which woke me up. She told me to check to see if my sister was ok because she wasn’t answering her calls. This is where I might be the asshole. On the phone with her after I checked up on my sister I told my mom to not call or text me again if she is going to ask me to check up on my sister. She isn’t going out (everyone knows why but we can’t say it). If my sister doesn’t answer her calls or texts it’s probably because she doesn’t want to talk to you or she’s just sleeping. My mom got seriously pissed at me and hasn’t texted or called me since then. I just think it’s so annoying how I’m literally being woken up because my sister doesn’t bother to answer her phone and my mom resorts to me checking on her and this is happening like 4-5 times a day. PLEASE NOTE my sister doesn’t have depression or any mental/physical disability she is perfectly fine, just fucking lazy.

So AITA for telling my mom to not contact me if it’s about my sister? ######

Response: NTA- You're not your sister's babysitter, you're both adults who can take care of yourselves. She is understandably worried but it's not fair for her to take her anxiety out on you. ######


Prompt:
We are unemployed due to COVID-19 and trying to save and budget our money.

My girlfriend just excitedly told me she just spent over $300 in house plants for a house we rent expecting me to be happy as well. Needless to say, I got a bit angry and told her that it was a really dumb financial decision at this time.

Now she is mad at me and is calling me a dick for not being excited as well.

Am I the asshole?

Edit because people are asking: we have been in a 10 year committed relationship and share all of our finances. ######

Response: NTA- you're both unemployed right now is not the time to spend $300 on any hobby. If you were both making bank my opinion would change. ######


Prompt:
I'm new to this so I'm just going to apologise now if I'm doing it wrong, sorry!

I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant and I was talking to my SO about the labour and how I hope things go smoothly because they didn't last time and I'm quite terrified. A bit of background my son was prem, it was a very difficult and traumatising birth. He spent 4 weeks in the SCBU ward.

I've been reading up on things to try and make it a positive experience this time around and although I know you can't control how labour goes one of the things was to make it as different as possible to your last birth. So I listed to my partner what things I can have different this time and not having a student midwife there was one of them.

With my labour it turned into a ventouse delivery because they needed to get him out ASAP and they asked if it would be okay if the student midwife watched because he'd never witnessed one of those births before. I agreed but mainly I think because I was in so much pain and on a lot of drugs.

So this time I've said I don't want anyone there who doesn't need to be there and my SO said that would be unfair of me because I could be the reason this person takes longer to pass? (we're not so sure how becoming a qualified midwife works so we we're just guessing). I understand what he's saying but I just don't want to have anything the same as last time if I can help it. SO said he'll support me whatever as I'm the one giving birth but I've thought about it and I'm now worried AITA? ######

Response: NTA- you wouldn't be making it harder for that student to pass. It's your delivery, you get to choose who can be in the room with you. Congratulations on the pregnancy, by the way, I hope everything goes down smoothly. Good luck. ######


Prompt:
I've recently turned 18 a few days ago btw.

&#x200B;

(I was \~13-16 at the time) I really love riding my bicycle, but i live in California where drivers are shit and I have been hit by a car twice while on my bike (Both of them drivers fault) The first time wasn't too bad but it hurt like a bitch, the second one was a bit more serious and i was covered in blood, had to use crutches for about 2 months, and cannot walk in a straight line without a lot of effort. Of course with that kind of shit you sue, and I was told we got \~$6k. I come from a poor single mother family and have never had more than $300 so I was really happy. For the past few years I've been told many many times that i would get all the money when i turned 18 so I have been anxiously waiting. I recently turned 18 so i asked my mom about when i would get it and she said she would give me "a little bit of it". I was very shocked and she isn't willing to even split it 50-50. If it was for bills or debts it would be a bit more understandable but she said she wants to buy herself a new car (Nothing wrong with her current car) and again I was shocked. Am I the asshole for wanting most or at least 50% of the money? ######

Response: NTA- You shouldn’t get only 50% of your money you should get 100% since it’s YOUR money. Is it in an account with your name on it? If so I’d go withdraw it and put it on a separate account. If she refuses to give your your money legally you can sue as she doesn’t have a right to any of it. I wouldn’t take that option right away but if you’re willing to take it that far. Did you actually verify how much you were awarded? Because it could be a lot more she just doesn’t want to tell you so she can keep it. ######


Prompt:
She hasn't bathed, changed clothes, or done any household things since Animal crossing/doom released. I pre-ordered both and a few more things for her as a semi early anniversary gift and she absolutely loves them... Too much.

I didn't say a word the first few days, I understand excitement but once it got close to a week I made a bath for her and she said she'd get to it later. Later as in 2 hours when the water was cold so she was no longer interested. After that I'd remind her every other day before work but no luck. I'd come home and she'd still be in the same clothes, playing something, and "starving" half the time because she'd get too into the game and forget to eat. I'd cook supper and hear about her day which would always be game accomplishments.

 She has no known mental health problems and it's definitely not depression, in fact it feels quite the opposite. She gets super happy and excited about almost anything and bad news is always faced with optimism. I knew she'd cling to the games but I would have never imagined it being this bad.

Today she was able to start playing a new one I pre-ordered and admitted she's probably not leaving the room for a day or so. I outright asked that she takes a shower before she starts paying but that didn't go well because she's really looking forward to it. I had had enough. It's gross and I already moved to the couch a week ago so I explained that if she wants to live that way fine, I'll be moving to our shed (it has AC and power so it's not bad at all) until she bathes and that upset her because she felt like she was being treated like a child and being forced to do things. I told her she was acting like a child and started packing my shit. She swears I'm being "a jerk" and I personally feel I was slightly over dramatic but I was pushed to this point.

Bonus info. We're both in our mid 20s, no kids, no intent on kids, and I have a halfway decent job so she stayed at home long before the current situation. ######

Response: NTA- you say she doesn’t have mental health issues, but trying to justify not bathing for weeks because of video game releases sounds like a mental health/addiction/obsession issue. ######


Prompt:
So evidently my roommate has moved her boyfriend in with us during quarantine. Before this he was here 5-6 nights a week, which I had expressed some discomfort with, but now he straight up lives here. Stores his stuff in the living room, comes and goes without her, etc. None of this was run by me. He also lives in the same town, so I'm not sure why the've decided to stay here but I'm not sure I can kick him out at this point given the state of things.

He likes to hangout in the common spaces a lot without her and do work on his laptop, workout in the living room, cook in the kitchen etc. At night they usually watch TV together in the living room. Previously I've tried to be respectful and give them/him their own space but I've been getting kind of annoyed with it. So recently I've been doing whatever I want. If he's working out in the living room and I want to watch the TV I just go and do it. The wifi doesn't reach my room very well so if I want to video chat I have to do it in the dining room and if he's in there too I just go and do it anyways. If they're cuddled up watching TV and I want to use the kitchen which looks into the living room I just do it.

The reason I could be the asshole is because everytime I do those things he just gets up and Ieaves and goes back to her room. If they're together in the common areas and I show up they usually stop what they're doing and leave. I haven't really made an attempt to rectify this because I honestly don't know the man at all and don't really wanna interact with him anyway. My logic is that if it was just me and my roommate we would have no problem sharing these spaces  which is what we used to do. I also pay about $1200 in rent so I don't think I should modify my schedule for someone living here for free.

AITA for going about my life as if my roommates boyfriend isn't even there even if it seems to make him uncomfortable. ######

Response: NTA- you pay rent. It is your house live your life ######


Prompt: My older brother volunteered to babysit my 2 nephews while my other brother (his dad) and his wife work. I told them from the beginning I didn’t want to help watch them cause I work 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and the days i have off i wanna rest. Lately the brother who volunteered has been complaining that hes tired and needs help. I told him already I didnt want to cause i need to rest for work. He got mad and said i should help and said i was being lazy. I reminded him he volunteered himself to watch the kids not me so it sounds like a personal problem more or less. Starting tomorrow i work 12 hour shifts until friday  covering for someone, my mom called me and asked me to help but i said no. Now my phone is blowing up with texts saying im being an asshole. Am i though? ######

Response: NTA- you know your limits and you made everything clear before you’re older brother even started watching the kids ######


Prompt:
My step dad married my mom when I was 5. He never adopted me, but he's always been dad. 6 years ago, mom died. A year later, he remarried. I don't have a problem with that; I'm glad he found someone.

The new wife doesn't mind that I call her by her name, but the rest of her family is mad as he'll that I won't call her "mom".

The logical side of my brain is wondering, is my step dad's new wife my mom?

The emotional side says, I'm in my mid40s. I don't need a "new" mom. Sugar momma, maybe 😄 but I'm a grown adult, I don't need a parental figure anymore.

So aita for not calling my step dad's new wife "mom"? ######

Response: NTA- you have a mom, she may not be with you anymore, be she will always be your mom. The family can mind their own friggin business. ######


Prompt:
So, for a bit of context, I’m black and there is a total of one ethnic salon in my town and I had gotten box braids for the spring. The front part of my hair grows pretty quickly so I made appointments before I had the track schedule because they would’ve been full if I hadn’t then and there. One of my appointments was scheduled on a day I had a track meet.

I asked my coach about it and she asked if I could reschedule and I couldn’t, since my lady was fully booked from now until May. I told her that there was one ethnic salon in town and this one specific lady was one of three there and she’s the only one who knows how to deal with my hair texture(both my parents are white) and I actually trust her with touching my hair. She said yeah I could skip I’d just have to make up for it in practice.

Somehow this cake up how I was able to skip and I explained, my most of teammates said I pulled “the race card” on coach but the rest of my teammates agree for the reasons above. It’s hard to find good, reputable hairdressers that I actually want to touch my hair and know how to deal with it.

Was I the AH in this situation or was I at least justified? ######

Response: NTA- you gave an honest explanation of why and it was a legitimate reason. I’m so sick of people saying the only reason to miss something is “death or doctor’s note.” Bullshit. Live your life. Take care of yourself, your hair, and be happy. ######


Prompt:
Sorry if this post is jumbled. Having a rough time right now (for obvious reasons).

Very recently I (20F) was diagnosed with leukemia. Long story short, thought I had Covid, turned out to somehow be worse. Prognosis not great. I have a lot of regrets about not seeing a doctor sooner, but nevertheless.

I told my dad today. He and my mother are separated and only have contact through their lawyers about my little sister. I told him, and he told me I should tell my mother.

The thing is, my mother has a horrible habit of making things all about herself. When I was 12 she discovered I had a problem with depression, and instead of getting me treatment, told me “how could I do this to her” and how I was “making her look bad”. The problem was never resolved and I didn’t get any sort of treatment until my late teens.

Basically, I don’t want to tell her because I know it’ll end up all over Facebook and she’ll make it all about her struggle with my cancer. I’m a private person. I live across the country from her, so I could potentially keep it private until either a, I somehow recover and never have to tell her, or b, my dad invites her to my funeral.
I know it sounds harsh. I’m pretty detached from it all at this point. But I guess I need judgement to either absolve my own guilt or know I’m kinda a POS.

TLDR; My mom makes my pain about her. I don’t want to tell her I have cancer. WIBTA if I said nothing? ######

Response: NTA- you do not have to tell her anything, ever. Focus on yourself and your fight.  *virtual hugs and good juju* ######


Prompt: Freshman year of college I lived in a triple room with 2 other girls. Roommate 1 was nice and quiet not part of story. Roommate 2 was liked to party and go out. Typical college freshman behavior. Well Around the start of October and it’s 2 am. I hear her and  her friend sneaking in didn’t think much of it not my business. Well her friend another freshman (male) starts screaming he wants his dad and starts basically sobbing and breaking down. I turn on lap to see what’s up as I’m awake by this point. Well they both dropped acid and he’s having a bad trip. He lays down in my bed shaking and I say I’m calling Police. My roommate yells at me saying she’ll get in trouble for having lsd on campus and if I was her friend I wouldn’t call. Well at this point I’m crying thinking a dudes about to die on my bed so I call cops. Kids fine and taken in hospital my roommate is given a write up by ra for drug use but that’s it. She moved out the next month and wouldn’t talk to me because I called police to help her friend. Atia for doing what I thought was right ######

Response:
 NTA- you did what you thought was right and safety is more important than being written up.

You can't OD on LSD (it would be basically impossible to consume enough to OD) and you can't die from a bad trip, and there's little the police could do to help- BUT you don't know for sure that your friend took LSD. They said they did but it could've been laced which is dangerous, or they could've done other drugs in combination with it and not told you, etc. The friend could have undisclosed medical problems, like epilepsy, that could make it dangerous, etc.  So even though a true pure acid trip isn't generally dangerous (physically) in a controlled setting, you had no way of knowing if there was actually danger or not, so calling the police or an ambulance is the safe (and correct) choice. ######


Prompt:
I’m on mobile so I apologize. (22f)

So (big surprise) I’ve been having a ton of trouble finding a job during COVID. Since I just graduated from college, I’ve been applying everywhere to any job I can think of that’s remote or in my state. I heard back from a few but nothing was working out.

Then, a few days ago I heard from this one company that claimed to be a big financial firm. I agreed to a phone interview and they sent me a few videos about the history of the company and the set up and compensation and etc. I watched them when they were sent to me so about 6 hours before my interview.

The guy called me and we started talking. Right away he’s condescending, saying things like “I didn’t girls even understood economics” (I was an econ major). He then took to quizzing me on these two videos. I mean full on test format. When I couldn’t remember the exact year the company was founded and the names of all the founders, he said “yeah I’m just trying to figure out if you even watched our videos or if you were off wasting your time”. Between this and his blatant sexism, I couldn’t take it. I just hung up.

My friends think I’m TA here because a job is a job no matter how miserable. I think I made the right choice. After all, I don’t want to work somewhere with THIS being the first impression. Plus I rewatched one of the videos and this is 100% an MLM.
But still, I feel a little bad. So Reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA- you did the right thing. Honestly, I'd look into reporting him or leaving reviews on job sites about this encounter so other people can avoid this disaster of a company. ######


Prompt:
Sorry if this post is jumbled. Having a rough time right now (for obvious reasons).

Very recently I (20F) was diagnosed with leukemia. Long story short, thought I had Covid, turned out to somehow be worse. Prognosis not great. I have a lot of regrets about not seeing a doctor sooner, but nevertheless.

I told my dad today. He and my mother are separated and only have contact through their lawyers about my little sister. I told him, and he told me I should tell my mother.

The thing is, my mother has a horrible habit of making things all about herself. When I was 12 she discovered I had a problem with depression, and instead of getting me treatment, told me “how could I do this to her” and how I was “making her look bad”. The problem was never resolved and I didn’t get any sort of treatment until my late teens.

Basically, I don’t want to tell her because I know it’ll end up all over Facebook and she’ll make it all about her struggle with my cancer. I’m a private person. I live across the country from her, so I could potentially keep it private until either a, I somehow recover and never have to tell her, or b, my dad invites her to my funeral.
I know it sounds harsh. I’m pretty detached from it all at this point. But I guess I need judgement to either absolve my own guilt or know I’m kinda a POS.

TLDR; My mom makes my pain about her. I don’t want to tell her I have cancer. WIBTA if I said nothing? ######

Response:
 NTA- you clearly don’t have a good relationship with your mother, and she isn’t obligated to know anything about your life. That said, I can understand why people might be urging you to tell her. She is your mom, and if you ever want to have a relationship with her in the future, not telling her about this is going to ruin that chance. You just have to weigh that choice.

I’m so sorry that your cancer has become family drama. You don’t deserve that. Praying for health and peace as you start treatment. We’re here for you! ######


Prompt:
We’re both in our early 20s. I’m an undergrad student, living with my parents (they cover all of my living expenses) and I have an internship that pays me 40% of the minimum wage where I live. It’s not much, but it’s the money I use for clothes, products, nights out, take out, anything that isn’t strictly necessary for me to survive. Also worth noting I grew up poor so I’m fully in control of what I spend. I’m the first to admit I can be cheap.

My bf, on the other hand, grew up rich in a family that overspends. They earn a lot of money, but spend just as much, so they don’t have a lot to their names or many savings. My boyfriend’s parents cover all of his living expenses + pay him an allowance that is 2,5x bigger than my internship salary.

Now the asshole part — being cheap has allowed me to save some money. I never asked him if he had savings, he never asked me either, but he assumed I would have none since I’m always saying I’m outta money. The thing is, every month I save 30% of what I make. When I say I’m out of money I mean that, in my monthly plan, I have already spent the amount I separated for spending, not including what I always save.

This is where he gets mad at me, saying I’m always refusing to go out to eat somewhere fancier, or trade more expensive gifts because I’m ‘out of money’ when I actually have savings and he has nothing/goes into overdraft every other month. I do say I’m out of money a lot, but I didn’t realize that me saying I was out of money necessarily implied that I didn’t have a dime to my name. I didn’t know that was what he thought was going on.

AITA for saying I’m out of money when I actually have savings?

TL;DR — I tell my bf I’m out of money but I actually save 30% of what I make every month and have savings. He says that was misleading and he thought I had no money at all, and is upset because I say that and we do not go to fancy restaurants or trade expensive gifts. ######

Response: NTA- you aren't married, and it's not your fault that you're frugal and a good financial planner. Those who are the best at saving money  live a "broke life", regardless of their savings. Its none of his business. He should be taking pointers, not getting upset. ######


Prompt:
The title might be a little confusing.
My brother's  room is in the living room and it is separate from the rest of the living room with a curtain. But you can hear everything that's going on in the living room. Yesterday there was a movie on TV that I wanted to watch. I had informed my brother that I'd be watching the movie at least a week before he was  fine with it.
Halfway through the movie he comes home in a bad mood and asks me to leave the living room and go watch the movie somewhere else (the only other way to watch the movie was with my laptop but I can't watch for hours in a small screen) . I refuse to leave. He starts to yell and hit his hand against a bookshelf we have in the living room trying to get me to ho I still didn't leave. He has been passive aggressive since.
AITA for not leaving? ######

Response: NTA- you already told him you would be watching the movie and he accepted it. Your brother needs some anger management though. ######


Prompt:
Some days ago one of my long term “friends” called my mother a cow for no reason in our group chat. He had been saying that to me and some other friends some for some days prior and we told him he was going too far and to stop because it was rude. He kept doing it and I once again told him to stop and that I’d fight him if he ever did it again.

So a couple of days later we were talking about Bernie Sanders dropping and I asked who they were planning on voting now. He said “ur mom” then in another message added “who happens to be a cow” so I told him off, told him I’d fight him if I ever saw him again, and kicked him out of the chat. I later asked him if he had a problem with me or why he was saying that about my mother and he said he was doing it because he thought it was funny and apologized but I didn’t accept his apology as I had already told him to stop and he had crossed the line for being unnecessarily rude.

Now the rest of my “friends” are defending him saying he was just joking and they invited him back and now they are treating me like I am the asshole for not forgiving him. I then left the group chat and I haven’t talked to any of them since. Honestly I think I can’t be friends with anyone who can’t respect my mom especially after she did nothing but be super nice to all my friends. ######

Response: NTA- WTF is wrong with your friend (and your other friends for defending him). I would ask your other friends if THEY would like it if he said that about their loved ones. Absolutely within your rights to kick the guy to the curb. ######


Prompt:
My (f17) sister and her (m37) husband are currently staying with us, My sister and I get along very well, But her husband is a jerk, he's a sarcastic asshole who doesn't care about other people's feelings, This is one of the many reasons why I don't like him so much.

So last night BIL was laying on the couch watching CNN, While I was scrolling through reddit and having a bit of fun, My sister shouted from the kitchen when she was done with the dishes and told my BIL to take the trash out, He turned to me and said:

BIL: (my name) go take the trash out.
Me: But she TOLD you to take the trash out!
BIL: Yes, I'm not deaf, I heard what she just said, But I'm TELLING YOU NOW to take the trash out, I suppose you're not deaf either, are ya?

I tried to keep my cool and ignore him.

Me: I'm sorry, I thought that this is a man's job!.

BIL: You're a girl??? (Sarcastically)

When he said that I knew he was making fun of my new pixie haircut that I did at home cause I couldn't go to the salon and wanted to try something new.

Me: Are you still making fun of my haircut?.

BIL: Will you do it if I said no?

Me: Unbelieveble!

I get off the couch, took the trash from under the kitchen sink and head out.

On my out, BIL suggested that I dress up and take a selfie of myself next to the trashpin and post it on facebook, you guys have no idea how humiliated that made me feel, I don't care if it's a social media trend, he just humiliated me, he once asked for my opinion on a political matter than he made fun of me, and called me a liberal dum dum, made fun of my new phone case, and criticized my cooking which is the reason why I don't cook anymore.
I told my sister and she said i was just overreacting and that she'll get him to take the trash out next time. ######

Response: NTA- WOW your sister has horrible taste in men. ######


Prompt:
this happened before the world went crazy, I was with my friend and we went into a mc'donnas to grab some food. when we went in, there was a crazy huge line and an even bigger line for people waiting for their food.

so i pulled out my phone and ordered our food through an app that's usually meant for delivery, but had a pick-up option, then we stepped outside to smoke. not sure if other mc'donnas are the same, but the one i went to prioritizes the online orders and drive thru, so that just means i would get my food faster.

when the app indicated that the food was ready (still took like 20 minutes but at least I wasn't trapped inside a building), I went back in to pick up the food, and a lady that was in the crowd waiting for her food (I guess she remembered me walking in before but then shortly afterwards leaving) chimed off "she's not a delivery driver! she's stealing someones food!!". the worker had my back and said I ordered through the app for pick-up, but then the woman started yelling, like actually yelling, that I shouldn't be allowed to skip the line.

like.... you have a phone too lady, just use it?

aita for skipping the line? ######

Response: NTA- work smarter, not harder ######


Prompt:
As if I wasn’t already the black sheep of the family!

I don’t know the deal with my parents generation and their proclivity to lying about our family tree, but I was raised being lied to until my real genetic father was dead, so I never got to meet him. Instead I was lead to believe that my sisters dad was also mine.  The truth came out as it often does, and a lot of things finally made sense.

Fast forward 20 years until I’m 32 years old, and just before my sisters dad dies, he revealed to me that my cousins (35F) real dad was his best friend in high school, and her real mom was his other sister. The younger sister gave the older one her baby and they let her believe that her aunt was her mom and vise-versa.

Now, he of all people had a solid understanding that I would relate deeply, and he had to know I wouldn’t keep the secret. However I also know he felt bad, because a couple days later, he asked me not to tell.

I told him I wouldn’t take any action until he was gone, but that I would not keep their secret from my cousin.

So, after he passed, I told his sisters that they could come clean, or I would tell my cousin the truth. (reminder that I have no real blood relation to these “aunts”, but they maintained each other’s lies throughout mine and my “cousins” childhood.)

They were argumentative, so I told my cousin.

Of course now my “aunts” hate me. However, my cousin got to meet her real father, and a half brother as a result.

Somebody I respect recently scolded me and said I was in the wrong, because it’s “none of my business” but I’m having a hard time seeing it that way.

AITA, and if so, why? ######

Response:
 NTA- why is it a societal norm to keep children from knowing there adopted? It’s kind of ridiculous if you ask me.

Your cousin is a grown ass woman she can handle the truth that she’s adopted. ######


Prompt:
I'm a 28F and my parents just don't know how to cut the cord. Part of this is due to my 35 year old brother who has been and still is reliant on them. It's more my father than my mother and it's gotten exponentially worse since I bought my own home. I am completely self sufficient and have never asked their help for ANYTHING save maybe an opinion here or there. I am lucky enough to financially maintain my own lifestyle because I work hard to do so. My dad believes everything is an open invitation for him to take control of my life.

I do not want to seem ungrateful because he has done a ton for me with the only caveat being that I never fucking asked for it! When I was first moving into my home he would randomly pop over with this trinket or that furniture that I never even wanted and still don't to this day. It has caused many an arguement and I've even thought about changing the locks on my door. I never even gave him a key by the way, he made a copy of the one I had given my mother to hang on to in case of emergencies. I don't want any of the shit he gives me and I don't need the charity. I just want to live my own life.

The final straw happened today. I'm a nurse, and I work back to back night shift this week. After a grueling 14 hour shift I was finally able to relax enough to close my eyes only to be woken up about 3 hours later by neighbors landscaping. Aggravating but whatever I can't control other people. After tossing and turning I felt like the sound was getting closer...because it was! It was not my neighbors. My father and brother took it upon themselves to come and mow/weedwhip my lawn. I'm literally laying here crying because I'm so tired, aggravated, and just genuinely pissed off.

I don't want to seem like an ungrateful brat but Jesus Christ I just want my boundaries respected. Am I wrong to feel this way? ######

Response: NTA- while I don't think they necessarily have ill intentions, they definitely lack boundaries. Since it isn't such a clear cut situation of someone wronging someone else, it is hard to bring up to the offender. Your father seems to be trying to be kind to you, it is over bearing and uncomfortable, but I expect he will be very sensitive to hear your dislike. That being said, the fact he thinks all of this is ok despite your disapproval (leading to your past arguments) makes him the asshole in this situation. ######


Prompt:
For most of my life my sister Alice has been wanting kids but has been unable to carry a baby to full term, in part due to endometriosis. She was in a lot of pain and had to have a hysterectomy.

Alice and her husband Ben has fostered 5 children and have adopted 2 children with autism, and are great parents. They have a good home environment and are financially very well off. But recently Ben and after a while Alice was bitten by the urge to have a kid biologically related to them because they wanted a chance to "do things right" and "provide the best start in life" (their views, not mine).

So they asked me to be their (traditional) surrogate and said that they would cover all costs (legal, medical etc) associated with it. They would be also be paying off my student dent, renting a 2 bedroom apartment for 3 years plus giving me a substantial amount of cash. I said sure - it'll be 9 months of my life in exchange for being set up for quite some time, and my immediate family thinks it is a great idea.

However, when I said "sure", I was expecting something along the lines of IUI, where we go to the doctor to get Bob's sperm prepped, me getting shots etc. basically the whole artificial insemination package.

But Alice & Bob have asked me to well, get pregnant the traditional way. Their rationale is that 1. it is the cheapest way 2. they don't want to go to the hospital now and 3. they think babies conceived naturally are healthier/the pregnancy would be safer without the chemicals, but I just can't get over the extreme ick factor. And even IF this was going to take place at home I think a syringe would work fine.

WIBTA if I went back on my word? Is their request reasonable? My immediate family doesn't see anything wrong with it and has been congratulating my sister on her impending baby. On the other hand, if I do give it up am I also mad for passing up what is essentially 200k, especially in this economy now? ######

Response:
 NTA- WHAT? They want you to have sex with your brother in law? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I can’t even begin to start with all the ways that’s absolutely wrong. So I’ll say this, unless they started the first conversation out with “We want you to pay you to have sex with BIL, and then get pregnant.”, then absolutely not. Also, there’s no guarantee you’ll get pregnant that way either. At least with doctors they plan for the best times and take everything into account.

Also, just yuck. Again. ######


Prompt:
AITA for not helping out my stepmom in caring for my father?

My father and his wife have a 22 year age gap. I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad and maybe call him once a year on his birthday. His health has worsened in the last few years and now needs assistance to perform his day to day normal activities

Their daughter is 13 and obviously can't help much. Since they live in another state, I've tried to offer help by sending them money. I even told his wife that maybe it's time he is sent to a nursing home. She got really offended at the idea and told me that she wouldn't abandon him.

She wants me or my sister to come down to their state to help her out. I honestly don't know how. We are currently caring for our mom and stepdad. Our stepdad is going through chemotherapy, and we are looking after him and mom.

It's just not possible for us to move to another state right now.

I understand that she is doing it all alone. But I don't know I can help. She's not willing to move him to a home.

AITA ? ######

Response: NTA- what you’re doing is amazing, make sure you don’t burn yourselves out, make time for yourselves to relax when possible ######


Prompt:
I'm married and have a 10yo son and a 11yo step-son. I don't have much of a relationship with my step-son's mom. I don't think she likes me. Fortunately, my son and step-son grew up together so they get along, go to the same school and hang out with the same friends. I went to go pick up my son from the park and my step-son was going to be picked up by his mom for the week. I didn't want to leave my step-son all by himself at the park so I stayed. His mom was suppose to be there at 4PM and it was already 4:30PM with no word from her. I tried calling, texting and emailing. Nothing. My husband on a plane so he wasn't going to pick up.

I ended taking both kids back to our house. Around 5PM, I get a call from my step-son's mom bitching at me over taking her son back home. I explained that we waited an hour and tried to contact her. I didn't want to leave him all by himself at the park. She said I had no right to do that and I should have moved mountains to get my husband on the phone to discuss. There had been a miscommunication between her and my husband as my husband - he was in a different timezone when they coordinated his pickup so he was off by an hour. She used that hour to go to a spa hence her unavailability. My messages got buried under other messages. She said she was scared that something happened to her only child and I should have contacted her again and it was an asshole thing to do. ######

Response: NTA- What would have been an A H move is to leave an 11 year old alone at a park. You did the right thing, and his mom should be grateful that you kept her son safe. ######


Prompt:
So my Mum and Dad moved about 5 hours away from me a few years ago to go and live by the sea.

Recently with everything going on they’ve started making plans for what they’re planning when they’re no longer with us.
So the other night my mum FaceTimed me because she’s been planning all this stuff and asked me if something happened would I look after my 10 year old brother, I said of course I would I’d be more than happy to have him come live with me.

As a background I’m 25, married with a two year old son, we live close to my in laws because to be honest they’re brilliant, when we’re at work they look after him to save us on childcare fees and generally help us with a lot of other stuff.

Well this didn’t go down well at all, my mum instantly shot me down saying no I would have to move to their house and live there to make it easier on my brother.
I said I understand that but it’s not possible, my job and support structure is here I can’t just uproot my life if something did happen.

My mum started getting really angry saying she knew I wouldn’t help them and that they would agree with my younger brother (22) to look after my little brother but not to expect anything from them when they die because I won’t deserve it.

I shot back with that’s totally fine by me, if it comes with strings I don’t want or need anything from them. My mum then hung up on me.

Now they’re not talking to me at all, all I’ve had is a message from my dad saying that they’re both extremely disappointed that I couldn’t put my little brother first.

A couple of friends I’ve told this to have said I’m in the wrong because I’m not willing to help as much as I can and how much this would impact my brothers but I’m still pretty resolute I’ve done nothing wrong.

So Reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA- what on earth?  Your mom is mad because in a hypothetical situation of both her and your father passing in the next eight years you would not be willing to move your whole family to take care of your brother?  This is ridiculous.  I wouldn’t think you were an asshole for not wanting to care for him at all, but you are perfectly willing to take him in!  Your mom is being ridiculous, she is either an asshole or histrionic, maybe both. ######


Prompt:
When applying to college my brother wrote an essay about something that he did, except it was a lie. The story he told was mine. It was about how I used to make potions to heal people out of household ingredients. About how that showed caring and empathy. I heard about this and asked him not to write the essay and to write it about something else.

He ignored me and months later submitted the essay. I ignored it for a while but finally brought it up because it bothered me. He stood his ground harshly and asked him to see my side. Told him that I value my identity and value myself in part by the things that I have done and the stories that I can tell.

I asked him to not respond because anything he would say would make me upset and I have a lot of work due tomorrow.

Am I the asshole for :

A) Asking him to re-write his college essay

and

B) Bringing back up after it was already submitted? ######

Response: NTA- what if you wanted to use that same story and then get accused of plagiarism? ######


Prompt: Background. I am a 19 year old female and live with my parents while I go to college. One night I am messing around on my computer in the dinning room. My step-father walks behind me and stops. I look around on he has his face right next to my neck kinda smelling me. I say "stop it" cause it's weird. He walks off saying something like "shut up" in a slightly annoyed tone. I felt some guilt for reacting like that. He then walks outside saying to my mom that I'm in a mood or something. I'm wondering if I was overrating but he know I don't exactly like being touched. We had an issue like this before where after I said I didn't want to be touched he said "get a fucking life." My mum said that I hurt his feelings so I apologized. So am I the asshole, and should I apologize this time? ######

Response:
 NTA- this sounds insanely creepy.

Also,

>We had an issue like this before where after I said I didn't want to be touched he said "get a fucking life."

This is very creepy as well and his response is aggressive for no reason. What / where was he even doing for you to tell him off for touching you?
Honestly I'd get out if it's possible. If not I'd avoid him entirely. ######


Prompt:
So my friend is planning her wedding, she scrapped what they already were planning because of the virus and moved the date. She already has a dress and is planning the theming again, and she asked me if she could wear my necklace because she thinks it goes well with the dress and the other stuff.

Now my necklace was a gift from my husband, he had it custom made by his uncle, and it’s one of those couples necklaces where the fit together, but it’s in a special shape from a project we were doing together while we were engaged. It’s kind of cheesy but I think it’s really sweet that he thought of that and it’s pretty personal to me. I wouldn’t lend it to my friend normally but especially at her wedding, I don’t know it would feel wrong having her wear something my husband had made personally for me.

I told my friend no, and she got annoyed and said what are friends for. I explained my reasoning and she called me silly and that it’s just a necklace and I should just lend it to her for one day, and that it’s not going to kill me. She brought up that I’ve borrowed clothes and jewelry from her in the past, and she’s used mine in the past, but I feel that this specific necklace would be a bit like her wearing my engagement ring during her wedding.

She’s mad at me now, AITA? ######

Response: NTA- this isn’t some cheap Claire’s fashion necklace. This is a sentimental, future heirloom piece. It’s odd that she would even want to borrow it, being that it has meaning for another couple. ######


Prompt:
So recently, our street has started sharing what more or less amounts to hobby gift baskets with eachother. It started as a "everyone's stircrazy, surprise, there's cookies on your doorstep." one-off, but because of reciprocation and a little bit of oneupsmanship, its become a weekly thing to get a basket from someone on the street, either fresh vegetables or jam or cookies(or in my case, wine. this is important for later). Out of roughly 20 homes, 9 or 10 of us take part in this gift swap.

This week, some homemade cherry wine(with cherries from the backyard) was what I dropped off everywhere. So about a case of free wine. The following day, I got a nastygram from one of the neighbors, explaining that "while the gift was appreciated, it was disappointing to not include something for her children."

Everyone got the same exact thing, a bottle of wine. This was clearly for the household, not for any one member of the house. Just "hey, thinking of the neighbors. have some wine." Talking to my next door neighbor, she says she can see where nastygram neighbor was coming from, I could have easily added some fresh cherries for the kids, but the email wasn't necessary.

I'm in the I'm not the asshole camp, obviously. Free wine is free wine. I don't have to go out of my way to tailor gifts to everyone. ######

Response: NTA- This isn’t a requirement of quarantine this is a kind gesture. You gave a gift, you didn’t exclude. ######


Prompt:
im a 14 year old high school freshman and my mom and i were just having a conversation like normal, but then she asked me whether or not i’d let her live with me when i was an adult and got married. i answered no because if i were to be married, the only people i’d want to live with are my wife and my kids (if i had any), and it’s likely that my would-be-wife would agree with me.

but my mom then got upset and kept accusing me of not wanting to care for her when she grew old but i explained that i wouldn’t want to live with her but i would still take care of her. she continued and compared me to my older sister, who said that she’d be fine with letting my mom live with her and her husband.

i don’t think i’m an ass but she’s really upset at that and there’s this weird tension between us now ######

Response: NTA- this is a ridiculous conv to have with a 14 year old ######


Prompt: So, this happened way last year, but it's still been on my mind, and some clarification would be nice so I can make up my mind and tell them "I'm sorry' and whatnot. When I (16m at the time, 17m now) lived with my parents, they'd constantly peg me to clean the entire house for them, do their laundry, and even go as far as to make me watch my 3 very little siblings (3f, 2m, 1m) almost every day while they went out on dates. Sometimes, they'd force me to watch them even as soon as I came home from school while they sat down and watched netflix. I'd say things like "I have plans with friends," or "I need to do my homework," but they didnt even care. This eventually lead to my grades dropping, considering I had no time at home to myself to do work I needed. The only time I would be able to work, would be late at night, but even then I would probably be putting my siblings to sleep as my parents were too busy watching movies or going out on dates. Because of my grades dropping, they'd take away my phone, my ps4 and PC, and even my TV, and use it as an opprotunity to make me do whatever they wanted, using 'You're not doing anything, anyways' as an excuse. This took a heavy toll on me, as I not only stopped being able to take on large amounts of stress, but I often found myself pulling off numerous attempts to off my own life, only to no avail, and just staring at the roof crying late at night. Eventually i was pushed too far, and I snapped at my mother, which she said 'I gave birth to you' and I replied "You shouldn't have.", and I felt abit like TA here. Things got too heated there, and I ended up moving away and back to my Grandparents, who've been the nicest people I've known in my teenage years, but I'd just like to know if I was TA in this situation, so I could apologize to my mother for all the things I said when I snapped. ######

Response: NTA- they shouldn’t have kids if they can’t take care of them themselves or hiring somebody to, especially if it was putting an obstacle between you and your education. ######


Prompt:
Hello. A little bit of context about the whole situation - I live in a country in which there is a recent influx of immigrants. I know how it is to be an immigrant myself, so do my parents. I happen to know 4 languages, this will come into the story later.
I have a coworker in her 50s, who is in general an okay person. She arrived to the country 5 years ago, and has made absolutely no improvement in her language, nor wants to. At first, she asked me for help a couple of times at mundane things I can do through the internet, for example passport extension, changing an address for an ISP, and several more things which I won't mention. However, later on she started asking more annoying things, she wanted me to help her join a car insurance firm, disconnect her from her cable TV company, and other tasks which I did. I understand that she takes my kindness for weakness, yet I'm not a complete asshole so I obliged to help.
I completely snapped however when someone told me that both of her daughters have husbands who speak the language fluently, and I immediately confronted her about it. In my opinion, this is complete nonsense that someone can use a person like that, a person that is not even their friend. It feels like I wasted hours on a person that could have asked 2 other people for help.
Am I the asshole? I hate being used like that. ######

Response: NTA- They make no effort why should you. ######


Prompt:
This occurred around a month ago and this incident recently came to light.

I (16M) was out with my friend (17F) at a park and these two girls (I'm guessing same age as us) saw me. They were chatting shit about us in Turkish (talking about how foreigners keep on entering their country, trying to guess where we're from and just basically gossiping about me in particular)

I didn't mind and done my best to ignore them, until one of them yelled "Hey chocolate boy!" at me (reference to my skin color, I'm black).

They didn't know that I knew Turkish (I lived here for nearly 2 years now) and I took my opportunity to make a cheeky comment.

I smiled and casually replied back "You like chocolate huh? Wanna try some?" and I gave them a wink. They were surprised that I understood them, but then their expression quickly changed to disgust at my comment. They gave me a dirty look and quickly walked away.

My friend (who doesn't know as much of the language as I do) asked what I said and I told her. She called me immature for doing so and said that my comment was "unwarranted and inappropriate".

In my opinion, I don't think I messed up that bad. They were being racist and I decided to make a joke out of it. But now that I got this story off my chest, I want to see if I'm the asshole because of it. ######

Response: NTA- They made a rude remark, and you made it into a joke that basically gave the idea that you didn’t take them seriously and were messing with them. I think you honestly handled it really well, because they were trying to get you upset or mad. They had it coming. ######


Prompt:
So we were all watching the news together (my sister, my mom, my dad and i).

And there was this part where it reported that muslims still liked to fly over their dead to their country of origin and bury them there (i’m from belgium). Personally I didn’t think it was a big deal but my mom just stated:

“At least they take their trash back”

I was shocked obviously and spoke up. I told her that it was no different than any other person wanting to be buried (or have their ashes spread out) anywhere specific like the ocean or in their favourite country. And that saying if their dead are trash would mean that if grandma died she would be just trash too in her eyes, if you follow her logic.

Well everybody got mad at me and saying that it was just some passive aggressive way of what they call ‘reverse racism’

And now everybody is mad at me and wont talk to me, mostly about the grandma remark i think, so i feel bad ‘cause that was really harsh of me. But then again so was calling someone elses loved one trash.
So am i in the wrong here and should I apologize? ######

Response: NTA- they are gaslighting you for calling them on their racism. ######


Prompt: So my schedule is I buy wings etc wing special on Monday every so often. 24 wings for $17.88. I eat this as dinner for 3 days, 8 wings per diner.  Its a relatively low cost meal that I enjoy. Recently, they added a $2 tip on my bill that I didn't authorize. I would =nt mind so much, except that I only had $18 dollars in my account. So since they charged mycard for $19.88, my bank hit me with a $33 overdraft fee. I later deposited $50 to cover another bill but because of the overdraft fee I was short, and was hit with another over draft fee, so a total of $66 because someone thought they deserved a $2 tip. SO I called the store manager , and they said the would get back to me, but know they won't answer my calls. So I called the corporate office, and talked to someone there. They know me because I used to be their UPS delivery driver. From the tone of the conversation, I feel the person responsible for overcharging me is going to get fired. I kind of feel bad now, all I really wanted was my moneyback and an apology, maybe some free wings. I m torn because I'm a people pleaser and like to make everyone happy, but at the same time  I feel I was taken advantage of when i really couldn't afford it. I also cant help but think she does this to others as well. ######

Response: NTA- the unauthorized tip caused you financial hardship ######