Prompt:
So 10 months ago my fiancé and I bought a home which was in good repair but for a few renovations and personal touches. I had a townhouse that needed to be sold in order for us to make up the asking price along with a partial home loan but we were going to lose out on the house as the townhouse hadn't sold. My parents stepped in and helped us with the short fall with the understanding they would be reimbursed when the other property sold. The new place is large with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, lounge and diner. My fiancé and I both work full time but have repainted the whole inside of the house, refloored the last bedroom(the other two were done by a contractor to expedite the process, we moved in two weeks after the sale was finalized) started renovating the kitchen, added a vegetable garden and some flower beds, overhauled the security system installing cameras , exterior beams and lighting and recently put up a small greenhouse.

My parents feel that we are not doing the renovations fast enough and that they are entitled to criticize what we have done because they helped us out. They've been reimbursed for the money they helped us out with but will have a problem with the curtain rails we put up or the placement of items. We are concentrating on the inside of the house they want the window frames and gutters outside to be done. I like having my crafting projects around me, they want them packed away and they feel my fiancé games too much.

With the advent of the pandemic we are now both working from home and my parents seem to think that means we should be getting more done with the yard work and renovations because we are at home.

Am I the asshole for wanting to do things my way in my home? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your House, Your Rules.

Ask them to respect your boundaries. ######


Prompt: So I'm 20 and recently bought a house last July. I spent the next couple months renovating and moved in last December, into what was basically a brand new house. I had redone absolutely everything, most of it myself. Anyways, a couple months later in February my uncle came over, and I have no problem with him but I told him not to bring his child over, shes 6 and has a tendency to be way overactive and hyper and break things. I told him not to bring her over, yet he did anyways. Well she ended up ramming her dumbass little head straight through some drywall. She was okay because shes a child, but they left pretty soon after that. After I patched the drywall and painted the wall again I sent my uncle an invoice for the damage his child cost me, and he said it should be forgiven since it was a child who did it, not him. I told him his child is his responsibility until shes 18 and that means covering damages she causes, and that I dont want her over anymore until shes in her teens or at least much better behaved. He told me I was petty, but I dont think so. AITA? ######

Response: Nta. Your house your rules. I would expect money for the repairs too. Even though it was something small like a hole in the wall. What if she cloghed your toilet with something causing damage and burst pipes I would expect them to pay.. he should have been watching her and stopped it before it happened. ######


Prompt:
This happened some time ago but I haven't mentally resolved this yet, so now I am asking Reddit to hopefully give me some closure!

I (M) once hosted a home party for my best (guy) friend and about five girls that came along. I know all of these people so I was fine with it, But during the party, some of the girls asked me if it was okay for some other friends to come along (people that I didn't know), so I complied since I didn't want to be a buzz kill. Fast forward a few weeks and they're asking me again if we could have a party at my place (they want to party at my place because I own a pretty neat sound system) and I said yeah sure.

Unbeknownst to me, my friend said "yeah two guy friends of mine will also come, you don't know them but they're cool people". That's where I have had enough and told them that it was okay for the girls to come but I do **not** want some strangers coming to my place. I don't want them to have access to my personal belongings and other private things that they have no business knowing about, period. Good for you if you think you can "trust" these people that you met ONCE or twice at a night club, but I certainly don't trust them or anybody for that matter. I don't know who tf those people are and I don't care to find out who they are if the first time I meet them will be at MY place.

So they cancelled on me, saying that I have trust issues and that I am being irrational for not trusting THEM because they wouldn't invite sketchy people, but I stand by my choice. I personally believe they are being petty and narcissistic because they are butthurt that they can't take advantage of me and my sound system. So they hosted the party at one of the girls' place and I wasn't invited.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your house so it’s your space. Don’t have to have people over who you don’t want to have in your space. Simple as that. ######


Prompt:
for context: i 19M am a really big, overweight and somewhat hairy guy. when i am home, i love to be without a shirt because i get pretty hot (especially now with spring being here) and really sweaty, plus it's more comfortable.

i lived alone up until january this year. i pay all my bills and go to work everyday. in february, my uncle went homeless and needed a place to stay, so i decided to give him a hand just so he had somewhere to stay. he sleeps in my living room since i only have 1 bedroom. he cooks and cleans everyday, so i have no problem with him not paying rent until he gets a job.

with it getting warmer now, along with the stay at home orders going on, im home more often, and when i'm home, i absolutely hate wearing a shirt. i of course will wear something if i have company mostly because i do get self conscious, but other than that i go shirtless. since my uncle moved in, i don't go shirtless around him often, but i've grown to be more comfortable around him and not care if he sees me without a shirt. recently he asked me if i please wear clothes around him because it makes him uncomfortable to look at my body. it kinda hurt but i told him it's my house, and if he didn't like it, he can go. i don't get up in his business or hang around him. i spend 90% of my time in my room and only see him if i go to the kitchen to get food or talk to him for like 5 mins, so he doesn't see me frequently. i thought about it and maybe he has a point? i just want some unbiased opinions about this. ######

Response:
 NTA. Your home your rules.

He can look the other way, buy you an extremely comfortable shirt or move out. ######


Prompt:
I have 3 kids, 2 of whom look like carbon copies of my husband. My husband is a light skinned black man and I am white. My third child is very dark, much darker than anyone in my husband's extended family with the exception of one great aunt.

This led to a lot of "jokes" and snarky comments about my son not really being my husband's. My husband has never doubted me so it doesn't bother me too much when they're directed at me, but it makes me insane when people say things to my son. He got picked on a bit in school over this. It used to really bother him.

At one point, my husband's great uncle made a "joke" about it to my son and me, and my husband's great aunt (who is the only one who resembles my son in complexion) chimed in that clearly my son is the result of an affair between me and her. Since then, it's become a bit of an inside joke between my son and I and seems to have helped him a lot with the rumors. My husband's great aunt has long since died, but the inside joke lives on.

My husband's brother heard my son and I joking about it recently and went off at us for disrespecting his great aunt. He thinks it's rude to her memory and to her late husband to imply that she's a lesbian. I said that she made the joke originally, but he said we shouldn't repeat it because she was old and a bit less sharp at the time she said it. I told him we have every right to have this inside joke seeing as we've been the butt of so many "jokes" about my son's parentage. My husband says he supports me but that he wishes I had just agreed with his brother and didn't make jokes when he was around. AITA for making these jokes with my son? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your great-aunt-in-law clearly had a sense of humor and understood how it felt to look so different in a light-skinned family. She had a witty comeback that simultaneously helped her great-nephew feel included and also the comment-maker feel like an ass. Good on her and on your for keeping her sharp wit alive.

However, if your husband is uncomfortable with the joke, maybe just keep it between you and your son. ######


Prompt:
Back story: my cousin is 13 and has some learning delays. She cant. Be left alone due to her have a very childlike mindset and get into things.

I was told by my grand parents (who I live with when not at school) that my cousin would be coming to live with us over the summer. Now I normally have no problem with her visiting. However, I have 3 jobs lined up and plan in working basically 24/7 to save up for bills, my rent for my apartment next year, insurance and for school. With my cousin being there id be relied on to babysit. And in my family you dont get paid to babysit family. It would be extremely hard to work, sleep and babysit all at the same time. Also i will be giving up 90% of my room. I have a very small room as is. My twin bed takes up over 50% of it. I love my cousin and i know her mom is kind of a jerk and doesn't take the best care of her but idk what else to do. Ive talked to my grandparents about it and even they seem hesitant. However, they keep saying ill have to figure it out and help because they cant do everything. I feel like im putting my financial stability at risk just so my aunt can get a break from her kid. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your grandparents have to understand that if she comes to live with you guys then *they're* responsible for her care, *not* you. ######


Prompt:
Me (16f) and my girlfriend (17) have been dating for about two years. When I first came out to my family they were a little skeptical at first but have ultimately been pretty supportive of me and accepting. My gf met them about a year ago and her and my family hit it off immediately. Since then she’s been invited to many of our family functions
My grandma (79) has short term memory loss so it’s obviously not very easy for her to remember certain details. She’s met my girlfriend like 8 times at different functions and everytime she says “oh who’s this honey? You’re friend?” And I always say, no grandma she’s my girlfriend. To which her response is “oh..” it’s not always said in the most happy tone but she always kisses us both on the cheek and wishes us well.
Recently at school my friend was asking us how our relationships was going and my gf responded “good except for that homophobic grandma” and I was so confused bc like, What?She said that my grandma always ‘deliberately’ referred to her as my friend and clearly did not support us. I told her that was ridiculous because she’s never said an ill word towards the two of us and she literally c a n t remember who she is. My gf said that I could pick my grandma over her if I really wanted but, “I was being ridiculous”.
I thought there was no possible way people could think I was an asshole but all my friends took her side and said that I should’ve informed my grandma before brining my gf up or kept her away from the party.
I’m honestly shocked by this so reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your grandma cannot control her memory loss.

I also think your friends and gf are insensitive. They may not have ever had to deal with an aging grandparent, so they may have no idea. But it’s really not an excuse. ######


Prompt:
I (26M) had been dating my girlfriend (23F) for a few months now. We were at her house trying to tidy the attic and then we found some pictures of her as a teenager with some friends. I asked her how popular she was at school. I was quite popular, had a lot of friends, and was just wondering.

What she said turned my mind around. She said she used to have some sort of "mini gang" of friends who were always criticising and insulting this other group of girls. I asked why. She said one of the girls in the other group lost a parent to cancer and had since been upset, not talkative, and randomly crying. She said the girl was a crybaby in a 15 year old's body and should just "get over it". The other girls apparently always were comforting the upset girl. She called them the four teen mums due to their hugs and support.

I was upset about this. I've lost two grandparents to various cancers, and I was very upset when it happened and I understood what it was like to be the girl who was upset. I also didn't think my girlfriend had any remorse or regret for what she had done judging by how she spoke of the girl and her friends. We finished tidying the attic and then I went home later that day.

I had since been only responding to some of her messages, and our country has went in lockdown. When she asked about my constant inactivity, I told her the truth. She was angry and yelled at me on the phone that her past shouldn't matter to me and that the girl shouldn't be important. As someone who has lost loved ones to cancer, I disagree. She has since been cold with me, I have tried talking to her several times and calling her but she just ignores me. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your girlfriend isn't a teenager anymore. She's well past the age where she should realize that shit isn't okay. I would have said everyone sucks here if she felt bad about who she used to be, and you didn't give her a chance. But it sounds like she has no remorse. In which case, yeah. She's the asshole. ######


Prompt:
FYI, I come from northern India, and do not look like the stereotypical Indian in western media. Indians come in all shapes and sizes. My friend is presumed to be chinese but he is from North East India!

About two months ago, I stopped a couple of people from sexually harassing a woman on my way to get groceries and walked her home. No big deal, it's the least I could do. Said woman found me attractive and asked me out for netflix and chill since we live in the same dorm. I found her attractive, I said yes.

Relationship was going really smoothly for the most part, we even said I love you to each other. She randomly asks me where my accent is from, and I tell her it's kind of a mixture because I grew up in India but went to summer school in Chile. She looks at me and tells me she is kind of shocked because I didn't 'look' Indian. Then she asks me if I am hiding any creepy behavior from her. At first I thought she was joking, but turns out she was pretty serious.  I tell her she has no reason to doubt me, and I am also kind of hurt since she knows that I was willing to risk my life for her the first time she met, and now she is doubting me inspite of all the experiences we have had because I am Indian.

I decide to not bring up the matter again but I came to know that she dmed 2 of my close female friends, and asked them if I ever showed any problematic behavior, and they obviously seemed very confused by the whole thing. She REPEATEDLY asked them to recollect any instance, which was alarming to me. So I confronted her about it through text, and told her she was being incredibly shallow and hurtful.

I am genuinely confused by the whole thing. I really cannot see where she is coming from, so I thought asking you guys might help.

Have a wonderful day and stay strong through the virus. I am good at math, feel free to pm me your high school calc questions(only half joking) ######

Response: NTA. Your girlfriend is a racist. Break up with her. ######


Prompt:
So this might be a long one but here goes. My girlfriend (F22) and I (M25) have been living together for about 2 years, during those 2 years I have been studying while at the same time working a part time job while my girlfriend has been working full time.

We have seperate accounts but we split rent, electricity and groceries evenly.

However when something has to be paid for e.g. new phone, new clothes, feeding for the guinea pigs/fish I pay, basically anything that isn't the standard things I pay for it.

My reasoning for this is: its easier to keep track of expenses this way and it doesn't matter who's account it comes out of since it is our money anyway, because whenever we discussed these types of things we both agreed it was both our money.

So now for my last year of studying I wont be able to work since I have to do like a full time intership with a thesis. Sorry I told her we could use some of the money we saved to pay for my college (about €10.000) and she told me I should save up for it on my own so I will be doing my best more (I have the money because everything that I always have left over I invest in the stockmarket).

So I have done what she said and I now only buy stuff for myself since what I thought was our money has now apparently become her money.

So today when she asked me to come with her buy more fish for the aquarium I told her since she decided to buy it without discussing it with me when I was gone, its her aquarium so I wont be helping her pick out fish nor pay for it since our finances are now apparently separate.

She's now saying I can use "our" money to use for college but I declined and said I'd rather save up for it myself and keep our finances separate.

So reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your girlfriend changed her mind when her own rule came back on her slightly. ######


Prompt:
 My girlfriend was hanging out with a friend and was drunk by the time her friend left. She came upstairs and hung out on the couch with me. I was looking for food on Uber eats. I asked if she wanted anything. Her response was, "I can't imagine eating anything right now. Just get food for yourself." I took her statement at face value. She was drunk but she was also high on coke which definitely will curb your appetite. When my food came she was hungry. I offered her my dumplings, she declined. I offered to order her food, she declined. I offered to cook her food, she declined. She was so upset I didn't get her food when I ordered my food. On top of everything my food sucked, it was Chinese food that was overly salty. From her perspective she "needed me in that moment and I just wasn't there for her."

 The following day she wouldn't talk to me at all. I think she's being unreasonable but I want a non-biased perspective. If you think I'm the asshole please tell me.

Apologies for the dirty laundry of a story. Thanks! ######

Response: NTA. Your girlfriend acts like an AH when she’s drunk/high. That’s not unusual, but it’s also not an excuse. ######


Prompt:
This happened when I was 14 in 2001, but it comes up sometimes.
I was living with my parents and brother, we were pretty broke so we never got gifts.
For my brothers birthday he was giving a CD player/radio boom box thing for his room. For him that meant entertainment and fun and mind expansion etc.
For my birthday I was given an electric razor to shave my legs outside of the shower with no water. My parents said I wasted way too much water shaving and now I was not allowed to shave in the shower ever again. This was my only gift and I was upset and said I’d rather have a gift that stimulated my mind, something I could enjoy, like my brother got.
It ended up in both of them yelling at me and calling me selfish and saying to be grateful I got anything. I said they were sexists and I got grounded.
Discussing this the other day my parents still maintain that I was being a jerk. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your gift was wrapped in shame and punishment. Sad. ######


Prompt:
I was brought up as a Muslim and to all intents and purpose I still consider myself as one. I try to follow the religion as best as I can and I figure the disagreements are between me and God. My GF really really loves Ru Paul's Drag race, it's not my thing and I have no interest in it. After this current issue is over, she wants to go to a show and wants me to dress up in drag.

I refused, explained it's not my thing and told her to take her friends instead. I thought that was the end of it but she's been bringing it up almost twice a week now and I was getting tired of it. The last time she asked I explained that I wasn't going, that I don't agree with men dressing up as woman and want to not be asked again.

I thought that was the end of it, but now I'm getting bombarded by her friends asking why I won't go with some going as far as to call me homophobic. There's a saying in my religion which is pretty much "you have your beliefs and I have mine" which is how I try to live my life. I'm not going to tell someone how they should live their life, I'm not going to insist they change anything; I only have control over my life.

I don't want to go, I don't want to dress up in drag; end of. We're not living together at the moment so I'm just ignoring her as I feel it's kinda shitty to try and get her friends to gang up on me. ######

Response:
 NTA. Your gf is being really overbearing and controlling.

Even if you *did* support drag, it puts you under NO obligation to dress in drag. ######


Prompt:
I've already posted here before but I'm going to post again because I had something else happen to me recently.

Background: I have a slight lisp that's easy to hear whenever I speak. Friends have pointed it out and joked about it but they know when to stop since I'm insecure about it. Often times, they'll repeat how I pronounced a certain phrase and say how it's unique and what not and that they enjoy picking out stuff I've said differently than them. I don't mind it.

Though, recently I was at a family member's house and they know how I can easily get upset whenever my lisp is pointed out. As I was talking to them, pronouncing words as best as I can, they kept on saying completely different words as if to point out that they couldn't understand me. I kept trying to say the same word over and over again (even though I knew I was saying it correctly) and yet, they still acted like I wasn't pronouncing it right.

Fed up, I had went back to room and heard them call after me, saying it was a joke.

To cut it short, the next morning they tried explaining to be that it wasn't nothing to get upset about and that they weren't doing anything wrong towards me. They explained that they were only joking and that I needed to suck it up and get a sense of humor. However, I tried to explain to them that it was something I was sensitive about and could only deal with so much before I become humiliated by my voice and that it was one of the things I had a problem with the most.

Am I the asshole for getting pissed off at a joke? Should I get a better sense of humor? They told me that I needed to act more mature about it and get over how I sounded but everytime I try, something like this happens and I don't have the confidence to do better.  ######

Response:
 NTA. Your friends seem to know what your boundaries are. Your family members not.
This post reminds me a lot about the guy messing with the deaf girl and making her bad about her deafness.
In example when someone is small, friends can maybe make joke if everything is well received. But to overlook someone consistently to mock him would be maybe similar hurtful. So your Family members are definitely TA. ######


Prompt:
OK, this is a throwaway, on mobile, English isn’t my first language, etc.

So I (M20) live with another guy (M19), who I’ll refer to as Red. Red’s autistic, and he’s not a party person. I am. He also is extremely camera-shy, like he’ll go out of his way to hide if someone is taking a photo that he could appear in. That’s perfectly fine, but I still like my parties. So we came up with the Forbidden Room. The Forbidden Room is a small room we have, that we made super comfortable with a fuckton of pillows, a mattress, and noise-cancelling headphones. Whenever a party stresses him out, or people are taking a lot of photos, he locks himself in the Forbidden Room. There’s two keys, one is with me, the other is with him.

I never specified what the Forbidden Room is. I only told people it’s locked, and so they can’t access it. (Which is true — Red unlocks it to enter). The arrangement works great for Red and I. A few days ago, someone in the group WhatsApp casually mentioned Red disappears in parties, so I mentioned the Forbidden Room’s purpose. (Red knew I was telling them.)

My friends are all now mad at me, because that’s not a real reason to lock up a room, and that they like Red, and want to chill more with him, and by doing this, I’m essentially allowing him to remain socially distant from others. They’ve demanded entry next time to the Forbidden Room, and I’ve denied them; and they tried to compromise by saying anyONE can have a downtime in the room, and I’ve refused that.

Red’s argument is, he can’t tolerate being social for very long, and some of my friends have taken pictures and posted them online without his permission, and created a scene when he asked for it to be taken down; and that he doesn’t trust they’ll use the Forbidden Room responsibly, and it doesn’t solve his need to hide in a place on his own.

So, AITA for having a forbidden room that only Red is allowed in? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your friends in the other hand...

They're "demanding" entry? That's just plain rude.

They think you're "allowing" Red to distance himself? I disagree, you are just being a good roommate who has come up with a creative solution to your roommate's needs. Sharing the room would defeat it's purpose so good for you for sticking to your guns. As someone who is not autistic but is extremely introverted with social anxiety to boot, I might borrow this forbidden room idea for when my extroverted partner wants to have people over.

It's clear from your description that your friends don't understand Red or his needs, and you do. Good for you.

Best of luck! ######


Prompt: Recently, one of my close friends that I have known since high school passed away. I reached out to his mother the night that I found out, and she told me that I was very special to her because I was his friend, I would always be welcomed in her home, and she would give me the details regarding his service when she had them. However, my friends, girlfriend has a list of people that she doesnt want to be there, and I am on that list solely because she is friends with my ex, who will probably be present as well. AITA if I show up anyway? Should I reach out to her and try to change her mind or console her? In my head and in my heart, it would not feel right if I was not present. I feel very hurt, and I would rather just act cordially and not speak to any of them. My ex and I seperated almost 3 years ago so I don't feel like this is the time to be bringing any of this up. ######

Response: NTA. Your friends girlfriend doesn’t get to dictate who can attend his funeral. ######


Prompt: Recently, one of my close friends that I have known since high school passed away. I reached out to his mother the night that I found out, and she told me that I was very special to her because I was his friend, I would always be welcomed in her home, and she would give me the details regarding his service when she had them. However, my friends, girlfriend has a list of people that she doesnt want to be there, and I am on that list solely because she is friends with my ex, who will probably be present as well. AITA if I show up anyway? Should I reach out to her and try to change her mind or console her? In my head and in my heart, it would not feel right if I was not present. I feel very hurt, and I would rather just act cordially and not speak to any of them. My ex and I seperated almost 3 years ago so I don't feel like this is the time to be bringing any of this up. ######

Response: NTA. Your friends family wants you there. You should go. ######


Prompt:
So my freinds found out about a way to get American Netflix when we are in Australia. And one of my freinds didn't want to tell me. But the other one convinced that friend to tell me. So they told me and I was happy. I went home to my dad and told him all about it. He then proceeded to tell me about how it will never work, and if it does he will pay me a hundred dollars. It worked and we watched a movie from American Netflix  and it was great. I then told my freinds all about my hundred dollars I got. And I was so happy

They then said I owed them 25 bucks each, for them telling me. We never agreed to this in the first place and I felt cheated. I obviously disagreed, but they corned me into doing it untill I just started crying and I gave them  both the money the next morning. They asked if my parents where ok with, and they weren't so I said no. Then they gave the money back. Only because my parents weren't ok with it.

So please tell me Reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTa. Your friends are opportunistic, selfish assholes. Get new ones. ######


Prompt:
Hi. So my whole life I (f16) have loved the taste of coffee but I have a sensitivity to caffeine. Normally I order decaf because it's so little caffeine it doesn't really negatively affect me. Today I went to a local chain coffee shop and ordered a decaf coffee. I was careful to mention my caffeine sensitivity and double-check that it was decaf. About an hour later I realized it wasn't decaf. I ended up shaking, having multiple panic-attacks, being incredibly nauseous, and unable to take my asthma medication because it is a stimulant.

I sent a video to my friend freaking out because I haven't had an episode like this in years and she got really upset with me. She kept calling me a Karen and telling me I was being ungrateful and rude and that service workers mess up some times and I have to cut them some slack. I never said it was the service worker's fault and never even informed the worker of what happened. She isn't a service worker and has never had a job, but she seems to be taking this very personally and I don't know why.

I could totally be in the wrong here so I just need to know, am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Your friend sucks. Call into the store and explain the problem and be very kind about it. 9/10 times they'll be super horrified and train their staff to be more careful. Sorry that happened! ######


Prompt:
My close friend and I are dating 2 girls that are also close friends.

When it comes to relationships, my friend is a psycho. He made her delete every guy off of her Snapchat, he has her location and her instagram log in and her Snapchat log in. He has 0 trust for her, cusses her out all the time, she can’t do anything without asking his approval first not even going out with her parents, he doesn’t even let her wear shorts outside. She has to filter everything she says because he takes everything the wrong way and cusses her out. She’s been very patient for the past 6 months they were dating, but the entire 6 months they fought a lot every single day.

Of course, I knew about everything because my girl would tell me and my friend would tell me. I’m also friends with my girls close friend too and I care about her.

Basically, her life is hell and she has to censor everything she says and has anxiety 99% of the time because he cusses her out if she doesn’t answer his call right away or doesn’t respond to his text within 2 minutes.

I felt really bad so I had a talk with her and my girl (they came to me for advice I didn’t insert myself) and basically I told her that he’s not going to change and if she can’t handle this for the next  6 months and the 6 months after that, then she should break up with him. And that same night after talking to me, she did break up with him. I feel like shot but I’m happy for her because that relationship was ruining this girl and my friend too he would get really crazy. I just feel bad for helping cause him pain. AITA for breaking bro code? ######

Response: NTA. Your friend is an abuser who was abusing his GF, you are never TA for encouraging an abuse victim to safely leave their abuser. Honestly your friend shouldn’t be in *any* relationship until he’s gotten some serious individual therapy to change his abusive ways. ######


Prompt:
I have a friend, we'll call him Ted, who I have been friends with since freshman year of high school. We're both 22, and I have a younger sister who is 17.

For the past few weeks, Ted has been making the same remark that my sister is turning 18 very soon. They're not the worst comments in the world, but it's still weird to me. He used to make them in front of my sister, but I told him to stop. Now he just brings it up around me. Here's where the problem kind of really happens.

A bit ago, Ted straight up asked me if it was okay if he could start dating my sister when she turned 18. I straight up told him no. He got upset and said "Ok but why not? She'll be legal." I told him no again, and if he kept asking or even tried, I would terminate our friendship.

See the thing with Ted, he's never had a girlfriend before, and is always ragging on women not wanting to date him. So I'm fairly certain I know why he wants to date her. But my sister isn't even interested nor does he like Ted. She tolerates him because he's my friend.

Ted got real upset when I threatened to end our friendship. He keeps bringing up now that she'll be an adult and she can make her own decisions and even if she doesn't want to date him, I don't need to end it on something so trivial. But I don't think it's trivial. This is my sister we're talking about, I told him. And that if they were to somehow get together and then break up, our friendship would probably end anyways.

AITA??? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your friend dropped something: 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Warn your sister. She should be prepared for when he comes onto her. I say “when” and not “if”, because no matter what you say he’s going to go after her. ######


Prompt: So back story first. I rewatched both “Narcos” series on netflix, and I ended up downloading several songs from the soundtrack. I love all kinds of music, and I got really into the dramatic songs, like the intro “Tuyo”, or “No me hables de ese amor”. I sing along to my music when I’m working or alone, and one day recently a friend overheard me singing one of the spanish songs. Her mother is from Mexico, and she speaks spanish herself, and she got offended and said I was being racist by singing a language I don’t know. I had looked up the lyrics to the song, and had a rough idea of how to pronounce them correctly, and what they meant. I certainly didn’t mean to come across as racist, I just enjoyed the sound of the music and the vocals. I know my pronunciation was probably atrocious to a native speaker, but I wasn’t trying to mock and accent or anything like that. I explained myself to my friend, and she understood, but she still maintains that what I’m doing is racist and I should stop. ######

Response:
 NTA. Your friend calling singing a foreign song racist is ridiculous. Is singing a Latin song racist? Are non-English pop songs with English words mixed in also racist?

Is singing *Feliz Navidad* during the winter holidays racist? Does she also get offended when *Gangnam Style* gets played on non-Korean radio? Or is it a testament that good catchy music is great to listen to even if the lyrics aren't completely intelligible, and it's human nature to sing/hum/dance/nod to such music (I personally only sing to music when I'm alone because I **suck** at singing on key). ######


Prompt:
 Please excuse grammar and punctuation on PC but not good at writing anything.

My in-laws blatantly ignore my 2 year old daughter but idolize my 5 year old son. it finally came to a head when they just randomly shower him with gifts and, would regularly say "my grandson and the other one". I finally went up to them and told them that until they realize they have 2 grand kids and not just one that they will not be seeing ether anytime soon. Loaded the family back into the car and left that was 2 weeks ago and there has been no contact at all. Am I the A-hole? ######

Response: NTA. Your first responsibility is to protect your kids. Well done! You can't accept this kind of favouritism. ######


Prompt:
I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant, which was unexpected. One symptom that I have is EXTREME gas. I belch like a frat boy 24/7, and I can’t help it. They just slip out. I’ve tried bicarbonate with water, EVERYTHING.

fast forward to yesterday, my fiance and I were laying down on the couch, and as I was getting up, i let out an ungodly loud burp. He looked at me and called me disgusting. He says he can’t look at me the same, as it’s really gross. Prior to getting pregnant, I never burped/farted in front of him. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your fiance is not ready to be a dad if he's offended by burps and farts. He knows babies do much worse right? ######


Prompt:
I (25F) have been with my fiancé (26M) for 10 years now, and spent the last week with beautiful weather at his house. For context, his family and I re very close as they have seen me grow up and we have always lived around the corner from each other.

I asked my MIL if she minded if I layed out in the backyard and tanned in my bikini. She said “absolutely not hunny, any time”. So I did. A strapless tanning bikini, but totally covered my bits, I would wear it in front of my own dad, or at any public pool, it was not scandalous in any way.

My FIL and his brother were in the backyard doing yard work, BBQing and some other tasks throughout the afternoon. We chatted, laughed, had a beverage together, both wives were around as well but inside the house. It was a great afternoon until my fiancé’s GREAT AUNT showed up. When she had a second alone with me, she told me it was “completely inappropriate and disrespectful to my relationship with my fiancé to be wearing such little clothing around his father and uncle, how dare I?”

My fiancé had no issues, neither did his mother. His dad and uncle never stared or made me feel uncomfortable. As a 25 year old daughter in law, was I the in the wrong for being in a bikini for an afternoon in the sunshine, in front of my father in law? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your fiancé was okay with it, and so were his mom and dad. Great Aunt Gertrude can go pound sand.

Next time she complains, look her dead in the eye and say: "Well bless your heart". ######


Prompt:
sorry if formatting is weird

So my mother was a middle school teacher and she would tutor this boy who was around 13 or 14 years old. He would come over our house for tutoring.So, they ended up having sex and mom get's pregnant.

At that time, me (19M) and dad didn't know about the affair and thought the baby was dad's. We were with throughout the pregnancy and birth.

How we ended finding out was my mom left her phone at home while she went to the grocery store. A text message popped up and it was a nude photo from the boy she tutored. I ended up going through her phone to see tons of dirty text messages and nude photos between her and the boy.

I showed the pictures and text messages to my dad and needless to say, he was devastated. We decided that we should turn the pictures in to the police for not only the boy but for other future victims as well.

We confronted mom about this and she admitted that she had been sleeping with this kid for a while and the baby wasn't dad's. She begged us not to turn it in to the police but we told her we already did.

A few days later, the school found out and they fired her. The boy's parents got wind of this as well and they are pressing charges. My mom is currantly sitting in jail.

As for Dalton (half brother), I can't look at him the same again. The rest of the family are calling me an asshole for not wanting to be around him and for turning in mom but to me, he will always be a reminder of my mother's infidelity and crime.

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your feelings are valid. But one thing to consider is how your half brother will feel. Obviously right now he’s too young to understand it all. But eventually he will know what happened and he won’t deserve to feel guilty for it. He is an innocent person in this. He didn’t ask for his mom to have him the way she did. It was completely wrong but he still deserves love from family. If you can’t give that right now, it’s okay. You need to heal; your mom broke a lot of trust. But, just try not to take out the anger you have toward your mom on Dalton.
I’m sorry you have to deal with all of this though. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway and on mobile

So my dad recently passed away from cancer and in his will, he clearly stated that I am to inherit everything, and my 3 younger siblings get nothing, the reasoning behind my father's decision is because my siblings had cut contact from him when he divorced my mum, (it was a mutual divorce but my mum had manipulated them into thinking he had an affair) and only talked to him when they needed money, despite that he always sent texts trying to check in their lives but they wouldn’t respond.

My father had left a letter explaining that he was hurt and disappointed that they had left him and why they wouldn’t be receiving anything, his last wish to me was to ensure that I never gave a dime to my siblings.  So I don’t know if I should carry out with my father’s wish.

I believe that the fair route would be to donate it all to charity but my siblings are calling me the asshole because I’m not giving the money to them.

Edit: Thank you guys for your opinions. Means a lot. ######

Response: NTA. Your father was clear on what he wanted. You're not an asshole for enforcing that. They clearly only care about the money, as they did when he was alive. ######


Prompt:
This isn’t such a big deal but it’s a constant argument between my father and I, almost a daily thing. My father is always saying how he’s just an affectionate man he likes to hug and just hold onto people but I don’t fucking like it. I don’t like being touched all the time to me it’s just annoying and feels restrictive. Every time he holds onto me and i get annoyed he thinks it’s some sort of game and will do it more to annoy me on purpose and the only way to make him stop is to raise my voice. I’m over it enough of these pointless arguments and being made to feel guilty because I don’t like being touched.

So I’m just wondering, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your father needs to learn how to respect your boundaries. You shouldn’t have to feel guilty for speaking up for yourself and voicing your discomfort. There are millions of ways he can show you affection without forcing you to hug him. ######


Prompt:
My school has decided to continue with a graduation ceremony despite current events. They have given each student 1 ticket that allots 4 people entry into the ceremony.

I have essentially two separate families, one with my father and stepmom and the other with my mom and stepdad. Father and stepmom live in another state, I live with my mother and stepdad.

A couple years back I willingly decided to leave my fathers house to go to my mothers due to abuse from him and my stepmom, and then was kicked out before I was due to move. My mother and stepdad have both been AMAZING and took me in and gave me a loving family and life I never seemed to have. My older brother also lives with my mother and he faced a similar situation where he was kicked out.

Me and my father have become somewhat friendly since I left.

I want to bring my mother, stepdad, older brother and my father to my graduation. My father wants to bring my stepmother as well and either kick out my older brother or my stepdad, or have no steps involved. I want to tell him no, because my stepdad has been such a great help and has been an amazing guy, and I feel he deserves a spot at my graduation. I feel if I do this I would drive a wedge between me and my father, and be considered a major asshole by his entire side of the family.

TL;DR- I want to take my Mother, Stepfather, Brother, and Father with me to graduation but my father wants me to cut out either my brother or stepdad or take no step parents at all. WIBTA if I told him and my stepmom no, only he can come and I’m not kicking anyone out? ######

Response: NTA. Your father kicked your out or his house and allowed his wife to abuse you and you’re worried about driving a wedge between the two of you? Why? ######


Prompt:
My school has decided to continue with a graduation ceremony despite current events. They have given each student 1 ticket that allots 4 people entry into the ceremony.

I have essentially two separate families, one with my father and stepmom and the other with my mom and stepdad. Father and stepmom live in another state, I live with my mother and stepdad.

A couple years back I willingly decided to leave my fathers house to go to my mothers due to abuse from him and my stepmom, and then was kicked out before I was due to move. My mother and stepdad have both been AMAZING and took me in and gave me a loving family and life I never seemed to have. My older brother also lives with my mother and he faced a similar situation where he was kicked out.

Me and my father have become somewhat friendly since I left.

I want to bring my mother, stepdad, older brother and my father to my graduation. My father wants to bring my stepmother as well and either kick out my older brother or my stepdad, or have no steps involved. I want to tell him no, because my stepdad has been such a great help and has been an amazing guy, and I feel he deserves a spot at my graduation. I feel if I do this I would drive a wedge between me and my father, and be considered a major asshole by his entire side of the family.

TL;DR- I want to take my Mother, Stepfather, Brother, and Father with me to graduation but my father wants me to cut out either my brother or stepdad or take no step parents at all. WIBTA if I told him and my stepmom no, only he can come and I’m not kicking anyone out? ######

Response: NTA. Your father kicked you out, he should be lucky you invited him at all. ######


Prompt:
I (17f) get uncomfortable around my father often as he is very touchy and (in my opinion) often inappropriate. He will often playfully smack my butt if he is walking by me in the house, put his hand on my hip or butt if we are taking a picture, or pat my butt if we are hugging. He also implies that I am sexually involved with all of my male friends.

I’ve outright said to him that this makes me uncomfortable months ago but he is unrelenting with being touchy so now I just push his hand away or avoid him in the house.
Now that we are all stuck at home, it’s difficult to avoid him and if I push his hands away or move when he’s close to me he becomes upset, leaves the room and will either not speak to anyone or be rude to other members of the household.

The very few times I’ve had friends over he’s implied that I am trying to have sex with all of my male friends and it is uncomfortable for everyone involved.

My mother knows he makes me uncomfortable but thinks it’s my responsibility to make sure he doesn’t get upset and thinks I should put up with it. His presence has made me increasingly anxious and upset for about 4 years and now it’s exacerbated by the current situation.

So, AITA for not wanting to be around him when he makes me uncomfortable as it upsets him?

EDIT: Thank you all so much for the kind words and advice. I’m really happy to know that I’m not overreacting. I will try to update soon enough if I can get in contact with someone I trust. ######

Response: NTA. Your father is way out of line. Do you have anyone who isn't your mom (who is also being T A) who you trust that you can talk to about this? ######


Prompt:
I’m only 22, but my dad has mentioned numerous times that he expects me to not put him in a nursing home, and he always includes ‘wiping his ass’ as something we better be ready to do.

Personally, fuck that. I’d literally pay someone to do that before I do it myself. Hopefully by that point I’ll have kids of my own and I’ll have to wipe their ass. No way am I adding unnecessarily to that list.

And, as a last little tidbit, before he’s said something like “I wiped your ass for years” but him and my mother have stated multiple times that he maybe changed literally one diaper so that argument also falls flat.

I have no plans to ever see inside my parents pants for any reason. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Your father is holding his ‘I raised you’ card high over your head. It is his responsibility to save and prepare for retirement, including having someone to wipe his ass. ######


Prompt:
As the daughter in my family I've taken the duties of buying the groceries, and I'm usually the one to cook. It's our dynamic and it works. I love my family too but my dad can be a jerk sometimes.

Something he has done since my childhood is burp and fart and cough whenever he wants an area to himself. It's disgusting but we've stopped reacting to it, cause if he knows it bothers us(a family full of women) he'll do it more.

He's been in a pissy mood lately and started doing it again. If I'm in the kitchen, getting a glass of water or cooking, he will burp incessantly and fart, right next to me, trying to get me to leave. I just don't respond to it. But damn it's so childish and disgusting, that I asked my mom if I could just start getting keto foods to minimize his gas (I know he does it on purpose but if he doesn't have gas to work with...)

Mom said it'd be funny and he deserves it. So I did. He's been complaining why there isn't any breads or veggies he likes (the really gassy ones.) But I mean, he's also losing his spare tire so that's good too. And I can hear him struggling to be gassy. He still coughs some but not as much as in the past because everything that's happening.

So I feel kinda mean for doing this but he seriously needs to stop burping and farting in our faces and where we eat. It's so gross. Am I being an asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Your father is disgusting. Quite frankly, you’d have every right to leave the room anytime he enters and stop cooking for him all together. ######


Prompt:
For Mother’s Day this year I decided to give my mother plane tickets to japan (her home country) for us to go on a girls trip together. I thought this was a nice gesture, since she loves going visiting japan. We never really go on girls trip and since I could actually afford to pay for it myself I thought it would be a nice experience. My mom was so overjoyed and excited to go! She hated that I spent so much money on her, but she loved the gift.

However, my dad was not happy about this.

I once mentioned my plan to give her the tickets to him prior and he said that it was a great idea. However on the day of he got extremely upset and when I confronted him about it he told me that I shouldn’t plan things with my mom without his approval. According to him, when I mentioned to him about my plans, he thought that he could go to. He was angry that he was not included in our mother-daughter girls trip. On Mother’s Day, during the confrontation he claimed “What about me? What am I going to do?”. He then claimed that it was him that married my mom and not me and then proceeded to ignore the both of us the rest of the day.

Today, I learned from my mom that my dad forbade her from going on the trip with me. When I asked my mother why she didn’t stand up to him she replied with “I really wanna go on this trip with you, but I don’t want to disobey your father”. She has decided that though she wants to go on the trip, she cannot go unless she has permission from my father.

I have a great relationship with both my parents and I’m not completely sure of why my dad is acting this way. I don’t like how my mom is treated like his property instead of his wife and needs “permission” to do the things she wants. But that’s their marriage and that’s how she decided she wanted to be treated so I can’t do anything about that.

AITA? ######

Response: NTa. Your father is an overbearing asshole. Period. Point blank. That said, if this is their marriage dynamic and your mother is content with that and wants to obey your father, there’s really nothing you can do here except accept her decision. ######


Prompt:
We are muslims and unlike them, I sorta neglect my religious tasks. Sometimes I don’t pray, and sometimes I’m not fasting in this ramadan. So basically, after each feast, my roommates go pray together, and they ask me to join them. I prayed with them before but yesterday and the day before I said nah, I’ll pray by myself (in reality I don’t want to pray cuz I’m lazy), and when I said so, they get annoyed as if I did something rude. One of them even told me that dude cmon pray so you can enter heaven, and so god doesnt punish you. Mate I get it but don’t push me like this or at least be indifferent about me, it’s my problem.

Bonus: When I was living with my family before moving to college, they didn’t enforce me to be completely religious. They told me to do it on if I’m willing to. No matter how much I skipped prayer, they never shamed me for it. ######

Response: NTA. Your faith and the practice of it is your concern and yours alone. ######


Prompt:
I've been there for about 4 years. I can handle the run-of-the-mill "are you fucking incompetent/learn to do your job/etc" side-handed shit from customers.

Several months back I answered the phone and the customer asked if "that one n***** was working because [they] wanted to make sure the food wasnt fucked with and made correctly"
With roughly 10 years of food service, I have *never* "fucked with" anyone's food (like spit or anything intentional or nasty). That shit is unacceptable to me. However, mistakes in the kitchen happen, well all make them.
Naturally, I asked them to repeat themselves cause I didnt catch it. When they did I responded (very unprofessionally) "well, that's exactly who the fuck you are talking to so come on down here and say that shit to my face." Not much happened from it, had a conversation about not talking shit to the customer bc then they can bitch and moan that I was rude, and while they understand why and would be compelled to do likewise, it just ain't worth stooping to their level. Understandable.

I said at the time something along the lines of "I agree and won't tell them off, but the next time someone refers to me or another coworker as that. I will be leaving. I'm not paid to have customers refer to me as that."

It happened again today, and they could have been referring to either myself or another coworker of mine. Either way, hung up the phone, took off my hat/uniform, tossed my money on the office desk, and left. Obviously incredibly upset.
I do feel bad for leaving them high-and-dry. But whatever shred of self-worth I have left, knows that shit is not something you could pay me enough to tolerate from a customer.

Am I the asshole for putting my friends and other coworkers in a tough spot because of it? Cause, yeah, it's an asshole move.

EDIT: My coworkers definitely understand why I quit. They are upset that I did, but they 100% have had my back for years. ######

Response:
 NTA. Your exactly right in saying that you are not paid to put up with that sort of abuse. The manager/owner, or whatever, should not be telling you that you essentially have to accept the abuse. They should be asking you to hand the situation over to them as it is part of what managers should be paid and trained to handle.

Personally I think that retailers should be able to take a harder stance against abuse of workers and refuse service and tell the customer to fuck right off. Unfortunately though this usually ends with the worker being fired. ######


Prompt:
Aita for telling people about a "closed" meeting with management?   I work for a national discount retail chain that we will call amilyfa ollarda.  My mum, who lived in europe, passed away three weeks ago from coronavirus.   Trying to give work advanced notice, I told my manager I would need 2 weeks off to go to europe, arrange and attend her funeral, and settle her estate.
   I was called in the office today and told I could only take 48 hours bereavement leave.   I explained that I can not get there and back in 48 hours.   I was told it was their policy and my job would not be held past that.
   I was upset due to the fact that I've been working hard through this pandemic to help my community, while not being given masks, proper gloves, or much in the way of ppe until the past few days.   And they want to replace me for wanting to bury my mum?
  I was told that I'm an a-hole for telling a few close friends about what was said while I was upset.   Being a fairly new immigrant, I'm unused to certain things in my new home, mainly people's aversion to personal time off.  I spoke to my spouse and a few friends to see if this is common in the us.  Aita? ######

Response: NTA. Your employer is unsympathetic, which is a separate issue. Unless you’re talking about the meeting on social media, who cares if you talk about what was discussed behind closed doors? I’m so very sorry for your loss, but please don’t stress over talking about a closed door meeting. I suppose they could argue it’s unprofessional, but you’re not an asshole at all. Focus on yourself and your family now. The rest is background noise. ######


Prompt:
I have a dog, she's 6. And very healthy. Potty trained. So she never makes any messes. Unless I'm gone for long hours which is understandable. When you gotta go, you gotta go. I clean it up. No big deal.

I walk her 3 times a day. Morning. Afternoon. Evening. So she can use the bathroom and get a lil bit of exercise.

There's a girl who runs her own dog-sitting business. I asked her to watch my dog for a 2 days while I went out of town.

I gave her paper with instructions. Its something a 10 year old could do. It said "Walk her 3 times a day, mornings, afternoons and evenings." I also left 4 small bags of her doggy food. 2 for one day, and 2 for the next day, (breakfast and dinner). Only 2 of thoe bags were used....

Fast forward to when I get back home. I come home to the scent of urine and feces. Everywhere. There's shit in the kitchen. There's shit in the bathroom. Shit in my bedroom. There's shit in the shit.  And paw prints of urine everywhere. You get the picture. Its clear and obvious that she did not walk my dog at all. Not even once.

I was mad about the urine and feces everywhere. But im even more mad at the fact that she neglected my dog. She called me to ask when she can pick up her money. I told her I'm not paying her at all for the shitty "job" she's done. Her excuse? "I was busy with homework". I hung up the phone.

I rated her website a one-star and a negative review. She tried calling me again. My friend is saying I'm being harsh, and I should at least give her some money. For what? She did nothing. How hard is it to feed and walk a dog? How lazy do you have to be?

I dont think im being harsh. I'm being fair. She didn't do the job she was *HIRED* to do.

If im TA, tell me so I can make it right.

TL;DR: Dog sitter didn't walk my dog. Urine and feces everywhere, didn't feed her well either. ######

Response: NTA. Your dog was shitting and pissing in the house because she neglected a basic thing: regular walking. She also didn't properly feed the dog. She didn't do anything right. Homework isn't a good excuse, you wouldn't be spending **all day** doing it. She doesn't deserve to be paid. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I are getting a divorce, it was pretty out of the blue, we had a fight and then he said he wanted one. He said that we didn’t have to go to court, he only wanted a small amount and just wanted it to be over with. He’s currently staying with a friend.

He was a stay at home dad for most of our daughters childhood, and only recently had gotten back to work, however he got furloughed for the quarantine.

I was talking to my parents and they asked how the divorce was going, and I told them the good news that he didn’t want much money. They were unhappy with this for some reason, and said I should volunteer to give him more money. I think that would be stupid, because 1) he’s asking for the divorce, I was perfectly happy, and 2) he specifically only asked for the amount he did.

I then was venting to a friend about this conversation because it frustrated me and then she agreed with them!

I don’t see how I’m in the wrong here, yes, if we went to court he undoubtedly would get more but he doesn’t want to, I’m talking to my lawyer and everything is going smoothly. I don’t see why I should have to give him something he didn’t ask for?

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your divorce settlement is absolutely not the business of anyone but you and your ex. If he only wants a certain amount, and you’re comfortable with that, everyone else can mind their own business. Period. ######


Prompt:
I (37F) was recently (as in about a month ago) diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have since told my husband, and my close friends, but my in-laws, including my BIL and SIL, don't know. This is mostly due to COVID-19 related SIP, (I wanted to tell them in person) but also I haven't had the words to tell them via phone call or text.

As much as I love my in laws, they are...Really judgmental about mental health. Even though they are aware of my trauma filled childhood, which is what caused the DID, my MIL thinks that a "life coach and weight loss" (her words) will fix the entire situation. I want to be honest, but I also dread feeling like I am overreacting, like this is no big deal. The fear of their judgement is overpowering and triggering.

I write a blog  about auditioning and performing, and I recently wrote a post that talked about said diagnosis, and how it has been affecting my practice schedule/ emotions about performing...I was about to publish it, but then realized if my in-laws read it, they will now know about my diagnosis, and may feel  upset that I did not tell them in person. I know they don't always read my blog, but you never know...A part of me just wants to do it, and get it over with, but I also don't want to hurt their feelings/ incur their wrath and judgement.

WIBTA if I just posted the entry and wait for them to approach me? ######

Response: NTA. Your diagnosis isn't the business of your inlaws. ######


Prompt:
So I basically (17f) had been diagnosed with ADHD a year ago . I'm pretty school smart but I don't notice many Things around me and I have a problem with sitting or doing the same thing for more then 30 minutes . After I got the diagnosis from my therapist . I wanted to proceed to book other sessions to see what I can do to help minimise the issue . It started affecting my studies . My mother didn't believe me and told me I was doing this for attention and not to tell anyone about it . ( In our culture mental health is a taboo topic ) I wasn't happy about it I tried to retaliate anything . But it was no use and my father whose a doctor tried to convince her but nothing .
So suddenly today she heard one of her friends had a daughter with ADHD so she told her about and proceeded to tell all her colleagues like it's something to flaunt I guess . And now she believes I have it .
I was pretty furious since she had forbidden to go my therapist for almost half a year and continued to call me an attention seeker whenever I braught it up .
The fight was bad I was screaming at the top of my lungs in the end and shut myself in my room . Now she's acting like she's the victim and all she did was try to help .

So reddit AITA ???

Sorry for the grammar mistakes ######

Response: NTA. Your daughter's mental health issue is a serious thing, not something you pretend it's not there just to bring it up when it's convenient. ######


Prompt:
Alt account be I'm pretty sure my daughter is on reddit.

My daughter is 17. We have shared custody of her but she is at my place more often than her mom's. A lot of the times on her mom's days she just asks if she can stay home and most of the time her mom allows it. So technically we do have shared custody but my daughter is at my house 99% of the time.

My daughter had very long hair that went down to her waist. But she asked me if she could cut it to her shoulders. So i made her an appointment and drove her to the salon as soon as it opened back it. She really liked her haircut a lot and posted pictures of it on Instagram.

Her mom must have seen the pictures and called me. She was upset that I hadn't consulted her about the haircut beforehand. She said we both have custody and that a haircut is something we should both agree on. I told her that she's 17 and she is old enough to decide how she wants her hair to look. Her mom said "yeah you have to be 18 before you can technically decide anything. I still have partial custody so I get a say in things".

She also commented on my daughters post. Her comment said: WTF you've ruined your beautiful hair. My daughter told me that she knew she would be upset. Apparently my daughter had always wanted to try a shorter cut because her really long hair was hot and hard to manage but her mom told her that short hair was ugly. My daughter told me that she didn't ever cut it until now because she didn't want to upset her mother.

Should I have talked to her mother before taking her to get it cut? ######

Response: NTA. Your daughter is pretty much an adult. She chose to cut her hair. You supported her. Nothing wrong with supporting your child. She knew mom wouldn’t be happy but she’s 17. Mom shouldn’t be controlling her hairstyle. No one should but herself. ######


Prompt:
My husband is from the DR. He and I met when I traveled abroad as a nurse in my twenties. We’re still married, he’s a fantastic man.

Our 15 year old daughter, the oldest of our kids, has recently decided that she doesn’t have to respect me based on my race. We’ve raised her to be conscious of the racial issues in the US, and have made it clear that people of color face dangers that white people don’t face. In her teenage years she has decided to use this against me.

First of all, she has decided that she’s black.
My husband has always referred to himself as “brown” or “latinx” and the N word is not a word we use in the house. Our daughter has decided to “reclaim” that slur as a “black woman” and she uses it in every casual sentence.

Whenever I ask her to do something simple (load the dishwasher, clean clothes off her floor) she says “yes massah! Right away massah!” In a southern accent as if I’m behaving like a slave owner.

My husband is at a loss and so am I. Over the dinner table she kept using the N word and I firmly asked her to stop. She said “that’s rich coming from my WHITE mother.” I said “your WHITE mother is about to beat your BROWN ASS if you don’t go to your bedroom and stay there for the next twelve hours.”

She stomped up there but kept trying to come out throughout the night claiming she was starving (she hadn’t finished her dinner). Each time my husband and I gave her water and marched her right back to her room.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your daughter is exploiting real race issues to be a disrespectful little shit. Asking your kid to do the dishes is typically met with eye rolling and whining, not accusing you of enslaving her. She needs a reality check. ######


Prompt:
I have a 26 year old daughter who can be kind of a bitch. I’m not trying to insult her because I know she got it from me but she isn’t the nicest person. I met my wife when my daughter, Ava, was 14 and her daughter, Riley, was 13. They hated each other and no amount of counseling or family bonding could fix it so we broke up for a while. We saw other people on and off but kept up the sexual component of the relationship. We both agreed that the girls came first until they were 18 and then they didn’t get a say in our relationship.

We got married when Riley left for college and they still hated each other but could suck it up for holiday dinners. Ava got married two years ago than extremely wealthy man. Riley has always been jealous of Ava but that was a tipping point. Ava lives a pretty amazing life now. She doesn’t have to work and they travel a lot. Ava has invited us on some trips or to events like concerts, high end restaurants, she got my wife Hamilton tickets during the big craze when they were hard to get.

The issue is she will not invite Riley anywhere. They are civil but that’s it. I asked her one time if she would consider including Riley and she said that person is not my family, do not bring it up again. Ava is pretty cold and standoffish and when she says something like that she means it. My wife wants me to push Ava harder to include Riley because Riley is having a difficult time right now and is extremely jealous. Ava is talking about a pretty amazing trip when the pandemic is over and she invited my wife and I but my wife asked me again to broach the topic of Riley to Ava. My wife thinks I’m an asshole but I think I’m respecting my daughter. ######

Response: NTA. Your daughter is a grown woman who doesn't get along with her adult step sister, and now people think your daughter's husband needs to subsidize someone she doesn't get along with, and someone who isn't her family and didn't grow up with her? The step daughter has no right to demand to be included by being negative. The onus is on her to make the married daughter like her enough that she wants to include her. ######


Prompt:
This happened a very long time ago but I've always wondered if I handled the situation correctly.

I am not close with my dad's family; mostly because my mom never liked them and guilt tripped my sister and I when we went with my Dad to visit them. My mom was being unfair, but that's not what this post is about. My dad has a younger brother who has always given off creepy vibes. I can't explain exactly, but I've never liked being around him.

When it came time to plan our wedding, I invited my dad's parents because it felt like the right thing to do. They declined, which is fine. But I had no intention of inviting creepy uncle because a) He is creepy and b) because I didn't want my mom to feel uncomfortable at her daughter's wedding. At the end of the day, I just didn't want him there. I guess I was too much of a wimp to tell my dad that I didn't want him there so every time my dad would bring it up to me, I'd make an excuse about keeping the guest list down, not enough seating, etc.

Imagine my surprise when I was walking down the aisle and there was creepy uncle sitting in a pew. I was surprised to say the least. Turns out my dad went behind my back and invited creepy uncle. I was livid and, I am not proud of this, as soon as we left the church I went up to my dad and told him since he was not contributing to my wedding an any way, he had no say so over who I invited or didn't invite.

Apparently, creepy uncle made his way over to the O Club where the reception was being held before my husband and I got there and my dad took him aside and told him he had to leave. I later found out that my dad was upset that he had to do that and that if he could do it again, he would have left with him.

AITA?

tl;dr My dad invited my creepy uncle to my wedding behind my back and was upset he had to ask him to leave the reception. ######

Response:
 NTA. your dad went behind your back and explicit requst to not invite creepy uncle. sorry your day was ruined, but the problem wasnt you getting angry at your dad.

you set your boundaries for your day and he ignored it. he should face the consequences.

edit: also sorry for your day being ruined :/ ######


Prompt:
My dad makes a lot of promises, but never keeps them and just says “I never said that” or something similar to go back on it. A little while ago, he told me that if I did the dishes I could have my Netflix permissions back (they took away everything above tv14) so I did, but he said he didn’t remember making that promise.

Every time before I do what he wants, I clarify in the clearest way possible what our deal is. So last night, he said that if I took the dogs for a walk I could stay up an extra hour to watch the rest of a movie I was watching. I agreed, but turned on the record option on my phone.

So the conversation was basically ‘So, if I take the dogs for a walk, I can stay up an extra hour and watch my movie?’ And he (annoyed) said ‘YES. I already said that didn’t I?!’. So I went for a walk, came back and he told me to go to bed. I told him what he said and he said 'I would never agree to that’ and told me to ‘stop lying’ so I showed him the video.

He let me stay up, but he got mad and said I ‘invaded his privacy’ and that ‘I had right to record him’. They now look through my phone and delete any photos or videos they don’t approve of. I don’t think I really did anything wrong, but the rest of my family says I should’ve just let it go and not made it a big deal. AITA for recording my dad?

EDIT: I love my family, and I really don’t think my dad is abusive. I think he is just bad at keeping his word. Thank you all for your support though. Anyways, I brung up possibly signing it on paper as many of you suggested, and he got annoyed that I brung it up again and walked away. I’ll talk to him again when he’s cooled off a bit more ######

Response: NTA. Your dad was just mad that he got called out by his kid ######


Prompt:
I am 36 year old male who married a wonderful 45 year old female last year. She has a 23 year old daughter from a previous marriage. I know she was an adult but she still lived at home while finishing college and I treated her as if she were my own. Problem is somehow, my daughter and my father 55 fell in love. Apparently my daughter  has always liked older men and their ability to provide for her. She is a comedian and an aspiring YouTubed with a small following but it is growing. She has always wanted a man to be able to take care of her while she pursues her dreams and well... she chose my dad. They kept the relationship a secret and I found out about 3 months ago (pre all this crazy stuff) that they had run off to a chapel to have a secret wedding when my wife got a text from her daughter meant for her best friend asking to be a witness. I immediately went to go find this chapel and got there before the wedding had started and told my dad to stop this. He couldn’t marry my daughter, it was weird and then daughter would somehow be like a mother to me. He said that he was in love and while them getting married wasn’t up for discussion he did decide to postpone until I got used to the idea. I talked with my daughter and explained that it was a weird situation and she said that’s she agreed it was weird but she wanted a provider and he promised to provide for her. She said that she wouldn’t act like a mother to me at all but really wished that I would accept this. Idk it seems ridiculous to me, AITA for stopping the wedding?

Edit: for those confused she is legally my daughter, her father was terrible and left them when she was really young and she cut all contact. She asked me if I could be adopted as she hasn’t had a father in a really long time and likes me so yes, she is legally my daughter. We finished all the paperwork and got it signed and everything. ######

Response: NTA. Your dad wants to marry your daughter. That's fucked up lol you're definitely right in feeling the way you do. Your dad is horrible for even setting up that kind of scenario. ######


Prompt:
Okay, before you judge me please let me explain.

When I was 11(f for anyone wondering) my dad and I got into a fight. I truly don’t remember what it was about but most likely something dumb. I was a very sassy preteen and I will admit that but I still feel like his response was unwarranted.

In the heat of this argument he called me a “fucking cunt”. Again, I was 11. I started responding by saying that I was going to tell my mom and that she would be fucking pissed. He responded with,”who is she gonna believe? An 11 year old? Or her husband.”

And he was fucking right. Anytime I tried to bring it up he would gaslight me and to this day he still hasn’t apologized.

Around that same time he also told my mom,”there isn’t enough beer in the fridge to make you pretty.”

I hate him. I fucking hate him. He asked me the other day why we don’t have a good relationship and I just walked into my room and started crying.

TL;DR my dad called me a “fucking cunt” when I was 11, still mad about it

So reddit. Am I the asshole for holding an almost 9 year grudge? ######

Response: NTA. Your dad sounds like a real piece of work. My advice: show him this post. Tell him “this is why”. If he tries to fix it, good. If not, he has his answer ######


Prompt:
Okay so I made [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gw4w78/aita_for_blocking_my_dads_number_refusing_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) in here earlier, my cousin - who idolizes my dad - found it, asked if it was mine, and so I admitted to it. Which then led to him calling me an asshole and bringing up the time I tweeted a pic as a joke that ended up going viral.

It was a college grad pic, with me holding up a sign that said, “thanks mom you made this possible 2019,” and I captioned the tweet to say “~controversial grad pics to throw shade at my married, welder dad who said if I ‘really needed to go to college’ my single mom could pay for it~” and it went viral and was seen by a million and a half people.

I posted it in November and my dad never said anything about it, but my cousin just told me he told my dad when it happened and he was upset. But also go read through the other post because I think that will give you a better idea about what kind of person my dad is. ######

Response: NTA. Your dad played a stupid game and he won a stupid prize. ######


Prompt:
I'm a teenager, in high school, and I just got a phone at the beginning of this year when my mom upgraded. She'd had the phone for several years, it's a 5s and in relatively good condition (no cracks, scratches, etc) but the battery drains ridiculously fast and, well, it's 7 years old. My siblings both got new phones for their first phones, but i guess my parents saw an opportunity and ran with it.
My dad said he'd get me a new phone at the end of the school year if I got good grades. Well, now that school's out, mine has decided that they're going to make all classes pass/fail. Hence they're not assigning letter grades, and he won't buy me a new phone. He  mentioned it off handedly at dinner like "oh great i wont have to buy you a new phone for another year!!"
My grades were good before we were let out. It's not my fault school was cancelled and the grading system is this way now so why should i have to wait another year?
I don't want it to come off as me being spoiled but I'm honestly tired of having such an old phone and not being able to do some of the things my friends can do on theirs, like group FTs, or getting made fun of or asked if im poor, which is the dumbest shit because this is literally the bay area. so, wibta? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your dad is.

The way he responded, part of me thinks he was never gonna buy you a new phone.

Your phone may still run, but he knows it’s shitty and he made a promise and your school being closed is out of your control. If your grades were good before your school closed and he still refuses, he’s being an asshole. ######


Prompt: I spent a couple hours painting my mom because she always tells me she wants some art of mine to keep, so I thought this would be really nice. I showed my dad and he got pretty mad at me. He suggested I go out and get her a real card. My mom's always been super sappy for my art so I figured it was perfect? I wrote a whole paragraph on the back saying how much she means to me. AITA for not getting her a real card? [Here's the picture](http://imgur.com/gallery/bQ0fTCf) ######

Response: NTA. Your Dad is THE asshole. It is beautiful and your mom will love it ######


Prompt:
I’m (22F USA) quite embarrassed of this situation and need help finding if I’m the asshole.

I quit my full-time job about a week ago because I am pursuing my bachelors degree and cannot balance my  homework while also working more than 40 hours a week. The financial situation this has caused makes it so I can no longer afford groceries. My boyfriend also lives with me and he is being generous and still makes about 1,500 a month which almost covers everything so we are using my savings so we can keep our car and a roof over our head.

In a desperate need to get food, I started going to my local food bank. I told my dad over the phone and he called me an asshole claiming that if I was less lazy and did not quit my job I wouldn’t be stealing from the poor. Keep in mind my father works for a large corporation making hundreds of thousands a year and does not help me financially in any way since I was 18.

I am starting to feel like TA after that phone call, but my boyfriend keeps telling me he’s an ass. Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your dad is the asshole for knowing that you need to rely on food banks and yet won’t help you out at all. Fuck that guy. ######


Prompt: I spent a couple hours painting my mom because she always tells me she wants some art of mine to keep, so I thought this would be really nice. I showed my dad and he got pretty mad at me. He suggested I go out and get her a real card. My mom's always been super sappy for my art so I figured it was perfect? I wrote a whole paragraph on the back saying how much she means to me. AITA for not getting her a real card? [Here's the picture](http://imgur.com/gallery/bQ0fTCf) ######

Response: NTA. Your dad is probably jealous. Give him a card on Father’s Day and when he asks why mom got the picture just say that by his reaction to the painting, you though he wouldn’t want one. ######


Prompt:
So my dad a weird habit of watching pervy videos from YouTube on his phone in front of us, especially while we're eating. They're usually compilations of girls in their underwear twerking or shaking their boobs. So I find this kind of innapropriate especially during family dinner and today I asked him to watch it privately next time instead of doing it in front of his daughter but he told me to fuck off. I asked him if he would be okay with me watching the same content in front of him and he said "yes you could watch literal porn and people making out for all I care". I told him are you sure?What if I do it right now? He said "go ahead I don't give a fuck" so I sat down and was watching a video of a gay couple kissing on the lips (no groping,no nudity, just two gay people kissing)
at which point he got angry, called me a piece of shit and stormed out of the room. ######

Response: NTA. your dad is kinda creepy though :/ ######


Prompt:
My dad doesn't realize his actions have killed his fatherly relationship with my brother, and Aidan (fake name) doesn't care enough to bother calling him out or if I do.

When Aidan was younger he did lots of weed in HS, then experimented with more crazy stuff his first few years in college a few times. Aidan is mildly autistic, diagnosed with ADHD in childhood and depression in high school, later also diagnosed with Bipolar. When Aidan turned 18, dad kicked Aidan out with no support and said "Good luck, kid".

Aidan still struggles but is close to getting his Master's in Math and CS, he's a hard worker and he lives on the straight and narrow, no substances or alcohol of any kind. He got into meditation as a way to improve his life, and started doing it twice a day. He applied and was accepted to a Vipassana meditation retreat for a week. Turns out a few days in Dad called them saying said Aidan had lied and had recently admitted to using hard drugs. He got kicked out because the teacher felt overwhelmed by the potential risk, despite Aidan having permission from his psychiatrist and therapist that he could be there.

Aidan told me that he hadn't used drugs recently, and he hadn't said any such thing to dad. I called dad about this and he told me that Aidan is a liar, he never stopped using, and it's sad that he'll end up failing in life but he was doing it to prevent Aidan from becoming unhinged from an intense retreat.

My dad used to be very close to both of us, then we left for college and he found a fiance, we see him once every few years, get calls every 2 months, but we aren't close, he's more like a great uncle or old family friend we see infrequently. I still care for him, and it leaves such a bad taste in my mouth to let things end like this. Am I a meddling busybody if I call him out on this and try to make him see the light? ######

Response: NTA. Your dad is actively trying to ruin your brothers life. How long is your dad planning on punishing your brother for his high school behavior. ######


Prompt:
My father and his family lost their home and had no place to live. He has a teenage son, my half brother, who is 15 and a known smoker. Because they had nowhere else to go, I offered them to stay at our other house we usually rent out to other people. The house is situated within our property, just next to our home.

Prior to my dad moving in, my mother and my sister moved in with us 6 months ago after my stepdad passed away.

We have many spare bedrooms in our home so them moving in wasn't a problem. .

This is where the conflict arises :

I don't charge rent from my mom. I don't let her cook. I cook for 5 people in our home (my husband, my mom, my toddler and my sister). It's just my way of looking out for my mom because that's what she did for me when I was young and struggling. She raised me as a single mother for years..

My dad has a problem with this because I am charging him and his wife the same rent I charge other tenants (it's a well furnished house). He thinks I'm playing favourites between parents because I don't charge my mom any money. He thinks he should pay less rent as compared to other tenants because I'm his daughter.

 Apparently, he doesn't like to be reminded of the fact that he charged me rent the one time when I was very sick and had to move in with him and his wife when I was in college. I had a part time job, and struggled to pay my bills with my illness. I wasn't shown any consideration.

He also has a problem because my husband doesn't help him out with his groceries. He is older now, 71 and thinks we should be the one getting him his groceries. We don't think so, his wife is 50 and he has a young son. They can be the ones doing the grocery shopping if he's to fragile to move around.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your Dad charged you rent. Your Dad is occupying space you’d otherwise earn income on, your Mom isn’t.

Anyway, even without the above points, you’re allowed to like your Mom more or to give her more support. ######


Prompt:
So this is kinda two AITAs but the first happened a month ago and I was confident I was in the right, I'm just double checking because the two events are connected.

I practice a martial art that has weight classes, so I monitor my weight all the time, except when I'm injured or for whatever reason not competing (Christmas, my wedding etc.) when I've got a competition coming up, I'll be eating very healthily and ill be strict with it, almost everyone knows this because, when you get frequent bruises/cuts/injuries, people tend to ask about them.

I was in the canteen in work a month ago, eating chicken, couscous and broccoli with one of my coworkers, who asked why I was eating healthily and I replied "well I'm pretty fat at the moment compared to normal, and I'm competing soon!" (it got cancelled of course).

Well another coworker (ella) overheard this and complained to HR that I was fatshaming, because if I called myself fat, I must think she's fat too (she is definitely overweight, but I've never said that to her, or anyone else).

Well HR suspended me for the rest of the day, "investigated" and then basically said that unless it was being sexual, I can say whatever I want about my own body. They also told me to be a little more sensitive and watch my wording around Ella.

I instead decided to just not speak to her at all. We work in the same department but all our work is independent so we have no reason to talk. Then yesterday, she complains to HR that I'm avoiding her and that I'm making it a "hostile work environment" and they again, suspended me halfway through the day pending investigation.

I have had two suspensions thanks to her and who knows what HR will say about this one, so AITA in either scenario? ######

Response: NTA. Your coworker is overly sensitive and needs to seek some form of help if she's going to take everything everyone says personal. Times are tough right now, but I'd also consider finding a new workplace once a suitable option presents itself as your workplace seems to have a policy of punishing first and investigating later. Also, your job can't require you to be friends with anyone. This girl sounds like a headache. ######


Prompt: Hear me out... this happened yesterday. My (44F) cousin (32F) called me in a panic because she wants to call the police on her neighbor for abusing her children because "she left them outside in the heat and won't let them back indoors". Cousin states she saw the children playing and the younger boy (approx 10-11) was "too sweaty and red faced". She walked over and offered the kids a popsicle which they accepted, and then asked why they didn't go inside until the hottest part of the day was over (upper 90s with full sun). Kids told her that the mother was cleaning the house and told them to stay out until she was finished and locked the doors so they wouldn't bother her. Cousin, thinking this is just not okay, knocks on the neighbor's door to ask if this is, indeed, true. Neighbor explains that the boys  have been told to stay outside until she finishes her cleaning, as they'd been arguing amongst themselves all morning and she (neighbor) needed "a few hours of quiet before lunch'. Neighbor also said she locked the door because they were constantly coming in and out, slamming the door each time. Neighbor told cousin that both boys were fed a hearty breakfast, and sent outside with snacks, and there is a fridge in the garage that holds cold drinks. Cousin said neighbor was "pretty rude" and then asked her to leave, which upset cousin even more. I asked cousin if the kids looked sick or had asked her for help. NO. Are they playing in the street? NO. Are they disrupting your work by being outside? NO. She feels the mother should be reported for locking her children out of their own house in the summer heat, and that neighbor was unjustly rude. I told my cousin she needed to mind her own business and that being made to play outdoors instead of sitting in front of a monitor or tv all day, was not abuse and I'd probably be rude to her, too. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your cousin needs to mind her own business. It used to be normal for kids to play outside all day every day in the summer. Your cousin is old enough to remember that, surely. It’s not like the kids were toddlers and they clearly had access to shade, snacks, and cold drinks.

ETA: The hottest part of day is closer 3pm than noon. ######


Prompt:
This happened about a year ago:

I'm female artist, and my niece (6yo) absolutely loves me. One time I let her come into my bedroom when she was visiting and I forgot about the tasteful nude I had pinned to the wall behind my door. It was of a middle-aged naked woman lounging. I created it in a figure drawing class.

My niece saw it and very innocently asked. "Why is she naked?"

 I'd didn't think it was a big deal because I'm pretty desensitized to nudity, so I anwered very plainly.

*"oh yeah. That was a drawing I did. Most artists have to learn how draw naked people. Even if they're gonna wear clothes over top."*

She seemed amused by that.

Well a few weeks later my family all go to a free art musium near by. My niece and I break off and are walking around the rooms, and at one point my niece stops me at a few portraits. She has me lean in and not so quietly whispers. "did- did this artist draw these people naked too?"

I chuckle and say, "yeah, probably."
My niece chuckles with me.

At that point I hear a 'tsk' from a woman near me. I glance over and this older woman is glarring right at me. She speaks under her breath, *"That's disgusting..."* and walks away.

I felt really bad after that. Was it too soon for me to tell my niece that stuff about this aspect of art? ######

Response: NTA. Your conversation with your niece wasn’t the business of this random prudish asshole who felt it necessary to eavesdrop. ######


Prompt:
Hey!
So recently my biological dad reached out to me and explained that he is probbably going to die because of kidney falioure and he is at the bottom of the list.
Im 21 female.
I am really scared of doctors, let alone blood donation. So you can't even imagine how scared I really am to even think about this. Surgery is 10 times worse than anything else.

Recently my biological dad told me that I am probbably an approppriate donator. To me, he is just a regular stranger. I don't think I would be able to donate kidney even to my close family.
Results came back positive. I tought I won't be approppriate donator and went to test myself because my and his family were pressuring me to do so. I was wery scared. After results came back positive they told me how happy they were,... and I had a panic attack.

It was wery hard for me and I finally got the currage to tell them. They started trying to guilttrip me, saying that I will be sorry, that I will be responsible for murderer, that they will file a lawsuit,...
I really don't know what to do. So please tell me, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Your choice is valid. You said you see this man as a stranger and you wouldn’t even be comfortable donating a kidney to your own close family— tbh, as much as it’s going to piss them off, I’d tell him just that.

Donating a kidney is major surgery, and you’d be well within your rights to say “no” to anyone.

I don’t know your whole life story but it’s pretty shady that he’s coming out of the woodwork when he needs your help. ######


Prompt:
My parents are both working and that leaves me in charge of my 3 younger brothers, its not that bad and my only responsibility is to basically make sure they don't burn down the house and make lunch and sometimes dinner. I was making this stew thing that was sitting in a crock pot close to all day. I made enough so that my parents could have some when they returned. I put the stew in a pot and put it on the dining table. My brother who is the oldest of the 3 is 11 and can dish them up cause I had to go back and finish my essay for school.

I finished the paper and when I was gonna go get a bowl cause I was hungry the older 2 were wrestling or something and accidentally knocked over the whole pot of stew. We have a dog so even if I could just eat the meat it had dog hair all over it. It was discouraging that all the work I put into it just for it to be knocked over cause they weren't aware of their surroundings. I think I maybe TA here: I said in a loud voice but I wasn't yelling "Are you 2 fucking serious? You guys are almost in middle school and still don't know your fucking  surroundings? Come on you both KNOW better, get out of the kitchen you'll just make it worse." They had a face that just said that they think I'm crazy for getting mad at them and that they don't feel bad.

I thought it was all done and I was in my room when my mom came home. I guess my youngest brother (9yo) didn't like me cussing and told my mom. She took away my phone for 3 days cause cussing at my little brothers is a big no-no and that I could have just cleaned it up without being mean to them. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Your brothers were fighting and being incredibly unaware of their surroundings. They needed to be more aware and responsible. Sure, you could've been a little less shouty, but after taking possibly hours making stew you have every right to be mad. Your mum should've put herself in your shoes and imagine how angry she'd have been if it were her stew. I mean, no phone for three days because you got angry with your siblings for knocking over your stew? Jeez. ######


Prompt:
Every night, my brother(16) calls his cousin and they play Call of Duty Mobile with 3 other family members. However, when he does this, he's loud as hell and ignores literally everything anyone tells him.

He yells into his mic on his earbuds and constantly is asking if the others can hear him. He also snaps at my other brother(14) and I(20) for being too loud when we're just having a normal conversation because we're butting in on his conversation.

Tonight, I finally had enough of his mess. I asked him to go in his room and play because he was too loud and his constant "can you still hear me?" every 3 minutes was annoying. He instantly got upset and pissy and told his group he was leaving. He then got after me, saying that the wifi isn't good in his room. I told him thats a lie because I get perfect wifi at the way back of our acre property. Then he decided that he didn't wanna be around me anymore, and stormed off to his room and scowled at me every time he left his room. ######

Response: NTA. Your brother is being an obnoxious brat. ######