Prompt:
Hello, I am relatively young and my first language is English so flame me if I get anything wrong.

Recently I dated this girl and everything was fine at first, I let her use my belongings (My drawing pad, hoodies and some other items) under the condition that I would get them back eventually. I never asked for the items back when we were dating because I didn’t really have any use for them.

After we broke up, I asked her if I could have the items back and she said sure, I waited 2 days for her to return them but during that period I heard rumours that she was planning to destroy the hoodies and the other stuff, I confirmed this from mutual friends and I asked again if I could have them back but this time she laughed in my face and told me that I would never get them back.

I didn’t know what to do after that so I told her I would call the police for theft, she told me to calm down and she returned the items the next morning.

I got called out for it afterwards because I apparently over reacted and scared the shit out of her, so I was wondering, AITA?

TL:DR
Ex had my stuff, refused to give it back so I threaten to call the police for theft ######

Response:
 NTA

I get her keeping your stuff to piss you off, but honestly what did she expect?? You to just sit tight and watch your property get destroyed from the shadows? That's the shit you can take legal action for. Her life could have been set back by a lot, or even destroyed if she went through with destroying them, and all because you broke up. ######


Prompt:
So today I resigned from my job. I't was apparently a 'graduate position' and my first job out of college. As soon as I joined the company, the head of my department quit and 4 weeks later once she actually left, I was in charge of the department. I was responsible for all the clients accounts and was extremely stressful and I was not well equipped nor trained well enough for the job. I don't even know what I'm doing half the time and no one is around to help. So this affected my mental health badly. I told my boss this and gavethem warning that I was at risk of leaving.

At the start of this month all employees took a 20% wage reduction. As it was still considered a 'graduate position' I was on almost minimum wage. After the 20% cut I was below minimum wage and was given a contract to sign to consent to the reduction. I informed my employer of the potential illegal document and I got scalded for questioning this (she's a lawyer and was very butter that I would accuse her, a lawyer of creating an illegal contract.

I requested my employer to put me on minimum wage which they rejected my request as they couldn't afford it. So I resigned today leaving the whole accounting service team with no members.

Everyone at the firm hates me for it right now and have guilted me and made me feel like an asshole for leaving. Anyway that sums up the story more or less so let me know what you guys think. ######

Response:
 NTA

I dunno which country you live in, but you can't take a paycut like that if it's below minimum wage. ######


Prompt: To preface this, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a couple months and she has a variety of mental health issues, including severe social anxiety. One thing she has started doing is making this extremely loud high pitched scream whenever she feels emotion, like when she’s very happy, shocked, and as a greeting. It wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t so loud, it stresses me out and hurts my ears whenever she makes the sound, which is dozens of times a day. I ask her every time to stop or at try to be quieter, but she said it’s just instinctual now to do it and can’t/won’t stop and I can tell she doesn’t like it when I tell her to quit. ######

Response:
 NTA

I don’t really see how screaming as a greeting has anything to do with mental health issues. It would be different if she was doing it only when distressed, but this is weird

I may get downvoted loads for this but your girlfriend sounds like an attention seeker. Unless she has Tourette’s, or a learning disability, then this is really inappropriate behaviour for an adult. If she wants to act this way around likeminded friends (there’s a lot of grown up people who seem to enjoy behaving like this) then that’s up to her. But she’s got to understand that in most contexts it’s going to annoy people ######


Prompt:
Okay so, this might be a little weird so I’ll try and explain it.

Basically, out of all of my family I am the only one who has thick curly hair.

I mother swears up and down that she never cheated on my dad (although I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t believe it)

And because of my curly hair, I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve had people come squealing up to me going “OMG YOUR HAAAAAIR” and the proceeding to literally fist my hair and pull on my curls just to watch them bounce back up

It’s really fucking irritating. There is no need for a grown ass woman to come up to me and start feeling up my hair with no warning. It’s a little more understanding when a child does, but not a grown fucking adult.

The amount of times I’ve had to tell people to keep their hands to themselves is astonishing.

So I’m hatching a plan that the next time someone touches my hair, I’m gonna touch them right back. An eye for an eye.

If they think it’s okay to touch me without permission, then I’m just gonna assume I can do the same.

My mother says it’s not worth it and quite frankly childish. It may very well be true, but this is my personal space god dammit.

Luckily it isn’t that much of an issue as of right now, but I know damn well it’s gonna start back up again once everything has calmed down. ######

Response:
 NTA

I did this to people who randomly and without asking would touch my belly when I was pregnant.

It’s always a bit rewarding to see the look on someone’s face when they come at you thinking they can just. Touch without asking. And then you give them a couple good belly rubs.

I imagine it’s quite similar with hair as well. ######


Prompt: I (24f) am a night owl with ADHD. Everything I have succeeded at doing in life (my degree, working nightshifts, making a profit from my business) has been done when my body functions at it's best (at night). My mother (59f) and my sister (35F) have made it their new obsession to ensure I wake up at the same time as they do and will wake me up if I do not. I don't usually live at home, I live abroad but because of the unusual circumstances - I am at home. They regard my body clock as a character flaw and won't stop giving me unwanted advice that they've found on youtube on how I can change it. AITA ######

Response:
 NTA

I could have said NAH, but if they are getting aggressive about it, it makes them TA. You may be a better person than I, but I would start walking them up at my preferred time to give them a dose of their own medicine. ######


Prompt:
To start this off, today is my birthday. I woke up a little extra early and told him half-asleep I wouldn't be back to bed - only reason for doing so is since he has a tendency of noticing I'm not in bed and sleepily looking for me.

So I ended up in the living room using the laptop - the screen facing away from the bedroom. The alarm goes off at the usual time and I go to wake him as he claims the alarm doesn't wake him. He gets up and is a grouch all morning, stating me being awake throws off his morning and he hadn't planned for me to be awake - down to I should somehow know ahead of time to give him notice. I ask him to please stop, that I'd rather not be snapped at on my birthday, and it's one day out of maybe six months to a year I woke up early.

He continues up until leaving for work, blaming me for his morning sucking while I'm pissed I couldn't even get a "happy birthday" before he settled into grumpy mode.

AITA For being upset my husband was snappy at me? ######

Response:
 NTA

I can't even begin to understand his logic.

He sounds terribly controlling and unpleasant. ######


Prompt:
A bit of background: I (24F) don’t shave. Anything. I have arm hair, armpit hair, leg hair, pubes, even some ass hair. I’m very pale and have dark hair so it’s very noticeable. TL;DR at the end.

I started talking to a guy on Tinder almost 2 months ago. We talked for a few weeks and he asked me on a date. (The dates happened before the whole situation. Stay at home, folks) We have a really great date and I ask him out again, this time to my place. We are starting to hook up, I get undressed, and he sees my leg hair. He makes an uncomfortable “forgot to shave in the winter?” joke and I inform him that I never shave. He freaks out and scrambles to get dressed. He tells me I’m gross and I should have warned him before he wasted all this time on me.

I understand that it could be a dealbreaker, and it wouldn’t upset me if it was for him, I was just upset with the way he handled it. In my defense, I just never think about it. I haven’t shaved since I was in high school. The hair on my body is just part of me. I’ve only ever dated 2 people before him. One was a woman who also didn’t shave, and the other was guy who didn’t care.

My friends and family are split on this. My mom and sister, who also think I’m gross, agree with him but most of my friends are on my side. I do feel bad he felt tricked, but how am I supposed to bring this up before going on a date/sleeping together?

AITA for not telling him I don’t shave?

TL;DR: I have body hair, didn’t mention it to a guy before we went on a date, he gets upset. ######

Response:
 NTA

I bet 10 bucks and a sloppy BJ that he wasn't shaved either ######


Prompt:
I own about 10 plaid shirts, all different colours, I wear them all regularly, and my go to outfit is jeans, a tank top, and a plaid shirt. My dad hates that I dress like this and always pointedly asks me if I want to change or if I really need to be wearing that, and he's actually "joked" about burning my shirts on the BBQ before now, but I paid for them, I like them, and it's not like I'm making him wear them.

I'm reorganising my bedroom. My room is fairly small and I don't have a lot of space, so I decided to take out my chest of drawers and put a hanging shoe rack and some over the door coat hangers in. One is over my actual bedroom door holding my coats/jackets, and I decided to put my collection of plaid shirts on the other. There are other plain shirts on this rack but they're all buttoned and dad hates all of them. I can't hang them inside my wardrobe because due to my reorganisation the space they used to occupy is now taken up with jeans/joggers, non buttoning shirts, and shoes.

This rack was meant to go over my wardrobe door in a way that when it shut the shirts would be inside, but it didn't close properly, so I've had to hang it off the side of my wardrobe instead.

I finished everything up yesterday and I really like it, but dad has come in, seen the shirt rack, and just rolled his eyes. Next time he came in he asked if I had to put those there and I told him the wardrobe wouldn't shut with it inside.

Next thing I know mum's come in and told me to take the rack down, said dad's raging over it, wants the whole thing gone and is totally fuming. Thing is, I like it. I don't want to take it down. It took me 2 days and a fair chunk of change to get everything just how I want it, I don't want to change it.

AITA for not taking it down? ######

Response:
 NTA

I assume that you're a woman and he buys into the whole 'plaid=gay' stereotype, which makes him even more of an asshole. If you're a man then idk maybe your mom dated a lumberjack in college?

Either way he's being ridiculous. ######


Prompt:
So basically my nephew wanted to watch a film at the cinema but it was a 15 rated film. (In the UK we have 12, 15, and 18 rated films)

He's really into special effects and stuff so I knew he wouldn't be scared by it so I told him to just say he's 15.

His mother found out, got really angry at me and told me I wasn't allowed in her home ever again.

I told her she's being ridiculous and her son is fine. She said she wants him "on the right path" and I'm encouraging him to commit a crime. I told her to get a grip and she said she needs to be in control for him to succede.

I lost it and told her she is just a narcissistic bitch who's scared that she can't control and micromanage every aspect of her sons life.

She screamed and I left

AITA ######

Response:
 NTA

I am British as well. There is not one of us that has not been to see one of these films when we were below the age prescribed. Everyone starts going to 15s at 13 or 14 and everyone goes to 18 movies at 16 or 17. It is just what we do.

That level of parental controlling behaviour is simply not normal for the UK.

He's your nephew. This kind of thing in our country is perfectly normal. Her reaction is not. The American audience on here will be alarmed and come at it from the point if view of their own cultural attitudes, but those are simply not British ones.

You weren't showing him porn or lighting up a joint. You would deserve that reaction if so. But I would say this honestly to the American and other non UK audience on here; in our country this would not be a big deal and the parent's reaction is an unusual one ######


Prompt:
My parents and I have been having an argument. My parents sat me down and asked me about my grades. I told them all the ones that I know. Some of my teachers don't post the grades to Google Classroom so I don't know what some of them are. I have 4 confirmed a's (3 are above 95%) and 3 b's. I'm in 8th grade. Right now I get 2 30 minute sections of game time per day after I do school, homework, and the extra 1hr of math that my mom tells me to do. Our school has a placement test for high school that helps the teachers decide what math class to put us in. I ***chose*** to be put into the 'lower' (i don't know a better word) math class. I've been not doing as good as my parents want me to in math. This happened during the grade conversation. My parents after hearing that I chose to be put into that math class got very mad that I didn't want to go the the higher math.

About an hour after I told them the grades that I know and that I was going to the 'lower math', they told me to study more. I've been studying more, about 2-3 hours each day+studying during classes. They cut my video game time down to 1 30 minutes after they have checked to see if I've done all my homework. I got mad and asked them why, and my mom said, "We are done talking about this." After that I went and studied math for an extra hour to try to make them happy. They are still mad at me for having the grades that I have atm. I'm studying more, but they don't seem to see it.

AITA for getting mad in this argument enough that my parents had to shut me down?

sorry for rambling ######

Response:
 NTA

I always hate parents who are like "you aren't in the advanced classes?  You just must not be trying hard enough.  No more fun, only studying until you perform at a level that 'we know you can'.  And we know you can, because we believe that our parenting is so awesome that we have birthed a winner!" ######


Prompt:
So my dad started a small business, and it grew to be pretty big. We have a few locations in our area. I’m going to be pretty vague about it for anonymity.

He and I always worked together on it, when I was little he would teach me about it, and in high school I helped work there, and I worked there throughout my 20s. He transferred ownership to me a few years ago because he was diagnosed with cancer, and couldn’t take the stress of running it full time, but he really still helped make all the big decisions.

He passed a few months ago, and I’ve recently gotten a call from my sister, who I haven’t talked to in a long time(probably 5 years now?). She never showed any interest in the business when she was young, and then after college moved away and hardly even called my parents. She’s lost her job and wants to work for me because it’s the “last memory of our dad”. I think she’s bullshitting and just wants a job where she’s not going to get fired because it’s family.

I told her no, and if she had any interest in it she would have shown it in the time our dad was still alive. My mom is telling me I should at least let her try to show she cares, but I don’t think I have any obligation to someone who left without so much as a visit to our dying dad, who now just wants the rewards for what we worked on.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

However, I would recommend that you consider allowing her to apply, but apply through the usual method and her application be considered against other applicants in the same manner as any other applicant.  Don't give her any advantage in the application process, nor in any position.

If your business is large enough, you're not involved in every hiring process.  You don't need to be involved if your sister applies to work at your business. ######


Prompt:
Our dog usually eats tinned food or chub rolls, but every now and then she gets a special treat: two packets of ready to eat smoked mackerel from the fish section of the supermarket freezer.

There's usually two or three fillets in each pack. She doesn't get the fillets whole, they're broken up into her bowl. This is easiest to do by hand. I strip the skin off the back, put the fillet back on the packaging, rip the skin apart, then break the fillet up. Every now and then I pop a small piece of fish into my mouth.

When I mentioned this to some of my online friends they said this is wrong, and disgusting. Even though it's from the human section of the supermarket, the fact that it was bought for the dog makes it "off limits" for my eating in their mind.

AITA for eating parts of my dog's meal as I was preparing it for her? ######

Response:
 NTA

Holy shit the lengths people will go to to  be offended.  You're not eating dog food, the dog is eating people food.

More to the point...it's JUST FOOD. ######


Prompt:
Just for context: I (F18) have dated a guy (M22) for about 9 months, but never really loved him. He knew it, because at the first time he asked me, I denied, saying that I only see him as a friend. So he told me that if I didn't date him, he wouldn't have a reason to live - I was sooooo worried that I ended up accepting. We had a really bad relationship and broke up several times, but he always came to my door crying to ask for a chance and I was too afraid to deny since I knew what he would do.

In January, I received a very good job offer in another city, so I won't work with him anymore. A couple days after I started to work, he broke up with me. The inner me was so glad that he did it, to be honest.
Months without seeing him and working in a good place, I finally discovered that I'm lesbian. That explains a lot in our relationship as a couple.
His friends found out my twitter and saw me talking about Pride Month, 2 of them even replied to me saying that I was just confused because I had dated a guy before.
I didn't care at first, but an ex friend of mine texted me saying that I'm destroying his life because everyone is making fun of him for making me 'turn out as a lesbian' and I told her that it's not my problem because I have no control of what they do and say, she said that I'm insensitive towards him because I know he has problems with depression and anger, which is true.
(Don't be so focused on our relationship. This is about my decision to come out knowing all his problems). ######

Response:
 NTA

His mental health is not your responsibility. ######


Prompt:
There’s a lot going on here but I’ll keep it as short as possible. My husband and I live fairly close to his parents (like 15 min) and his brother who has severe intellectual disabilities at age 36.

My husband is a doctor and with the pandemic we’ve decided to live apart for the time being so he doesn’t have to worry about accidentally infecting me. So now I’ve moved in with my in laws and his brother.

I love his in laws like my own parents. His brother, however, is another story. He’s disabled but he has an incredibly foul mouth and very offensive opinions that he’s formed from years surfing deep corners of the internet.

But he’s disabled and is not all there sometimes, so I do my best to help out and keep my mouth shut. Last Saturday I was going on a walk with him (daily exercise) when we were walking past this big grocery store parking lot. We see a dad and son loading groceries into their car and my BIL started yelling racial insults at them (they were Asian).

I was horrified and I tried pulling him away. But it was heartbreaking seeing the look on the little boy’s face and the exhausted/defeated expression on his dad’s face as they drove away. I was so angry that night I called my husband and basically told him I will rent a hotel room myself because I can’t stand another minute in the same house as his brother.

It’s been a week and my husband has told me he can’t sleep because he’s so upset over what I told him. I admit I used harsh words and fully laid out my feelings to him. He said he still loves his brother and can’t stand the thought of us never getting along. AITA for telling him directly how I felt about this brother? I’m wondering if I should’ve just kept it to myself. ######

Response:
 NTA

Hey, I get disabilities . . . But listen, if the guy is smart enough to use the internet and impressionable enough to learn these toxic behaviors from those dark corners of the internet, he is capable of learning other behaviors too. Like, politeness.

The disability card is sometimes necessary, but sometimes it means people don't ever try to hold these individuals to any standards.

You do not have to like this. You do not have to feel comfortable around this, or fix it. ######


Prompt:
Hello there! I'm a very friendly person and I'll chat with anyone and I always keep things light, casual, and non-committal because I love my space and privacy.

I logged into Facebook after YEARS off and decided to join my neighborhood community group of homeowners. Afterwards, a few of my neighbors requested to add me as a friend. I had no problem with that.

We would casually chat over posts and comments, nothing ever more serious than 'Star Wars is awesome!', etc.

A neighbor who had requested me posted something about minimalism and I commented that I used to live in a tiny home and how great it was. She mentioned she and her husband did, too and we both have Huskies so we LOL'd online about how much vacuuming we have to do.

She then immediately sends me a private message (1st time she comminutes privately) and says:

'Please don't message on my personal Facebook page like you know me.'
'I have never met you in my entire life'
'You have a lot of audacity or you're just rally (sic) lonely'

I replied back 'I've obviously upset and offended you and that wasn't my intention. I'm going to unfriend you now'.

She replied back 'I already unfriended you' and I replied 'Thanks' and that was that.

I'm so baffled. I have a bit of social anxiety and I would hate to make someone feel uncomfortable. I ended up deactivating my Facebook and making my Instagram and Twitter private.

AITA here? I'm not sure what I did to elicit such a reaction from a neighbor. ######

Response:
 NTA

Her sending a friend request would mean to any reasonable person that they were interested in chatting.

(edit) somehow this is my most upvoted comment by over 10x ######


Prompt:
Divorce is weird. One part of our settlement was subscription services such as Amazon Prime, Netflix, etc.

I had to legally maintain them for 6 months. I don’t know if I was being taken advantage of, but it’s far too late now. Yesterday, when the 6 months were up, I cancelled every single subscription service I had and got new ones with a new credit card.

My ex was furious. Apparently, a couple of her orders got “cancelled” because the account got deleted. I mean, it’s my account, she could only use it for 6 months, and she did. She’s also complaining that she can’t afford Netflix now, with just her unemployment check. Yeah, because Netflix is a necessity.

A couple of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because “she’s struggling”. Yeah, I honestly don’t care. She’s not my SO, nor is she my friend. She had a net negative impact on my life.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Her friends could let your Ex use their Netflix. ######


Prompt:
I recently just started going to the gym because I am unhappy with my weight. I’m working with a personal trainer and doing a program that requires I do meal preparation from a specific cookbook. I now have to prepare seperate lunch and dinner from my wife, who refuses to eat what I’m cooking. This means that I buy my own individual groceries, while my wife orders from those companies that deliver fresh meals in individual bags that you cook yourself. These bags take up almost the entire fridge. I rearranged the fridge, and gave myself a single shelf so that I could keep my groceries and meals in a single place.
When I told my wife I’d like her to leave that shelf for me she got really pissed at me, and called me selfish. She said she didn’t want to have to think about where she’s putting things in the fridge.
This blew over, but today I saw a new tub of butter sitting on my shelf. I thanked my wife for buying it for me. She acted surprised and said she just bought butter it wasn’t especially for me. I mentioned it was on my shelf and she’s said “I forgot.” This really pissed me off, especially after the big fight. Am I the Asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

Her food took up the whole fridge until you took the time to clean out a rearrange it, however you asking for a single shelf now is somehow selfish? She's being lazy and argumentative for no real reason. ######


Prompt: My dad recently laughingly told us a story about how almost 20 years ago he took a job in a different state, listed and sold the house without my moms knowledge. My mom only found out because a friend of theirs was looking for a new house in the area and her agent showed her my parents house. At the time my oldest sibling was 5, my second sibling was 3 and I was only a few months old. My mom had just quit her job because the pay was about the same as paying for childcare. My dad I guess thought that since he was the one working, it was only his decision on if the entire family moved or not. When my mom found out I guess she took me to a friends house for a few days, but ultimately went back and went along with the move. The entire time my dad is telling this story, it’s clear he thinks it’s hilarious. I thought it was upsetting, especially as I new how much my mom loved the area they lived and the friends they had-she still talks about it to this day as being some of the happiest times. It really pissed me off how funny he found it. So I said “well if I was in moms position, I would have Divorced you” Apparently I over stepped. My dad got really defensive and said that if he hadn’t done it, then he wouldn’t have eventually landed the well paying position he is in today-and that I should be grateful. I tried to explain that it wasn’t that he took the job it’s that he made all the decisions without her, and now thinks it’s funny. I do feel a little guilty as my parents are currently really rocky, but were having a good day. Now my mom is upset with him, because she heard him laughing about it. I think he took it as me taking her side with everything or just stirring up trouble. That wasn’t my intention at all- and I really don’t want to them to go back to arguing. However, I did think it was wrong- and I definitely would file for divorce if I’m every in a similar situation. Should I have just kept my mouth shut? It’s definitely starting to feel like I should have. ######

Response:
 NTA

He’s selfish and unapologetic about it. I would have re-evaluate the relationship if I was in your moms shoes as well. ######


Prompt:
Before you judge off the title alone, my friend is a man. Not genderqueer or anything, just a man. He has always said kind of cringe things about women and sex, nothing bigoted but just....cringe. Like once he told me that he is most attracted to bisexual women because “pleasuring women is his biggest pastime” and he can’t relate to women who don’t.

Well his latest is he told me he’s a lesbian. I told him that unless he no longer identifies as a man, he isn’t a lesbian. He says that’s not true. His reasons for being a “lesbian” are: he has a powerful connection to women’s energy (further questioning revealed he was just talking about vaginas), he thinks he’s more turned on by watching two women together than other straight men, and his dream is pleasuring 4 women at once (you can do that....I guess....but you’d still be straight.) he also thinks lesbians are “hotter” than straight women. I’m 90% sure he’s never met a lesbian IRL and this is based on porn. He does not identify as a woman or even remotely not a man. He just dreams of being “in the middle of a lesbian orgy.”

I am normally not one to police identities but he’s obviously just a straight man and I find this borderline offensive. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

He’s not a lesbian, he has a lesbian fetish ######


Prompt:
I (M34) bought my boyfriend (M32) a 2018 Macbook Air on sale a few months ago because he needed a new computer. It did not come with a warranty. Two days ago, he got annoyed at me that I asked him to come to bed (it was 2am), slammed the laptop shut and came.

Then, he discovered the next day that his slamming the laptop shut broke the screen. He started demanding that I pay for it because "I provoked him" and because I was so stupid to buy a laptop without a warranty. I told him he should learn not to have temper tantrums.

He has a stable, salaried job. I understand that he doesn't want to pay to fix it, but I don't see how this is my problem. ######

Response:
 NTA

He’s 32, he should have more control over his anger by now, he’s an adult. Red flag imo

Why should you pay for damage HE caused to HIS computer during HIS temper tantrum? Red flag 2

You “provoked” him? You told him to go to bed when it was already 2am. Was he on something? ######


Prompt:
So this guy has been my friend for a few months now. Maybe 5 or 6. Went to a few parties at his place, talked a bunch when quarantine was starting, that kind of thing. Once, when i was pretty drunk at one of his parties (a get-together of 4 pretty close friends), i spilled that id slept with a friend in our closer friend circle. Literally the next day i find out he's been telling everyone about it.

Fast forward a few months to late quarantine and he starts criticising little things i do. Like just reacting to his texts on Messenger when I don't have anything to say, and straight up calls me "very dishonest" for telling a teacher online I couldn't hear them well.

A couple days ago I'm out with friends and i find out he's been spilling that conversation too, and now some friends of mine from totally separate groups know about it.

So I decide to cut ties with this guy, and he just won't let up. Saying he still wants to talk to me and that he never had any bad intentions and that he doesn't understand why I won't try to work on this relationship and talk things out rather than cutting ties straight up.

So, after all of this, i need a sanity check. Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA

He's not your friend, and you don't owe anyone your time and friendship just because they want it. Same as you don't owe anyone a romantic relationship just because they want it.

There's nothing to work on, as it's not a friendship. ######


Prompt:
So this just happened. Some background, I'm at my parent's house with my two younger brothers.

I (19 F) walked inside and went into the games room. My younger brother (8), we'll call Sam, is on his iPad watching something. I go to sneak up on him to scare him but he notices me first than tries to hide the screen from me.

I asked him to let me look and he wouldn't. He than exited the app and I reached for it but he took it away. I don't usually do this but I went to our mum and explained that he won't let me look at the screen. Mum called him into the lounge room. Sam seemed a bit panicked and went to grab his iPad for her. But mum asked me to grab it and it was turned off.

Sam has some ridiculously long password on his iPad. He was trying to hide the screen from us while putting it in and failed it a few times, maybe trying to get himself locked out of it. Then mum told him to hurry up and so he did.

A thing about my mum is that she's not very tech savvy. So I had to show her how to access YouTube's  history tab and what not. She found some "interesting" videos and questioned him as she fast forwarded her way through them while Sam was standing next to her very nervous and saying theirs nothing bad on there.

Sam was almost in tears as mum continued to go through his history and threatened to break the IPad. After mum went through what she thought was enough she took it and my other brother's (10), Dean, iPad.

They've been banned for a while and Sam is still being questioned and has been asked for an explanation.

I don't blame him for hating me right now, I thought I was doing the right thing as there are horrible things on the internet I want to protect him from. I felt like I was doing my older sibling duties.

TL:DR
I got my little brother's iPad taken off him because he wouldn't show me what he was watching. ######

Response:
 NTA

He's 8 and who knows what kind of creepy things he could be getting into.

If he was hiding something stupid but harmless, he only has himself to blame for being so secretive. That's what raised the red flag. Probably you would have been more lenient with him than your mom if it was something iffy but not too terrible.

But if it's something *bad*, it needs to be found out now. ######


Prompt:
Hello! Basically my bf (23m) and I (21f) are having a disagreement about the word c\*nt. He’s been using it more and more lately, to which I have asked him to stop using it so much.

Tonight, we were watching a TV show where he called the character a c\*nt. I asked him to stop using the word so much, and he said “ill take it into consideration but also I enjoy the word. So unless you have a good reason” he’ll keep saying it. I simply responded that it makes me uncomfortable. His response to that was “then don’t be uncomfortable smh.”

His other arguments for using the word c\*nt are 1) that America has freedom of speech, 2) that he shouldn’t have to censor himself, and 3) that me feeling uncomfortable shouldn’t be a reason to stop using the word. While the word was not aimed toward me, that doesn’t make me any less uncomfortable as I feel that it's a word rooted in sexism. AITA? ######

Response:
 Nta

He sounds charming. Why are you with him? ######


Prompt:
Got some degree of background, I (30F) was pregnant and miscarried. I now have to have the left over tissue removed from my body. I was only 9 weeks at the time, but I’m obviously hormonal and I’m sad.

My husband (31M) was never excited about the pregnancy. To be honest, it was unexpected. We have no other children and weren’t planning on it any time soon.

I scheduled the appointment and asked if he was available during that time. He confirmed he was, but as the conversation continued he kept bringing up how he was trying to make plans with a friend who’s in from out of town for that evening. I told him I didn’t want to do that.

He still wants to go hang out with his friend. Am I just hormonal? Or is it reasonable to expect him to be a source of emotional support after that? He just saw this friend two weeks ago. ######

Response:
 NTA

He should obviously be there with you, ESPECIALLY if you asked him to and didn’t just imply it and try and get him to figure it out. Friends can wait, marriages (hopefully) are for life ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend just let me know that his sister and her daughter have their flight booked to come stay with us...
I am upset because he didn’t feel the need to ask me first if it was okay that they stay with us. And now, he’s mad at me and says “I take the joy out of fun things like this.”

INFO: We live in a tiny one bedroom apartment. They are planning on staying for two weeks. And it is his sister and her 2 year old daughter, so I am going to have to give up my bed for them and sleep on an air mattress for the two weeks they’re here.

AITA for feeling like he should have at least consulted with me first about this? We equally split all bills, so it’s my apartment just as much as it is his. ######

Response:
 NTA

He needed to ask before inviting a guest to your shared space.

Also, you should not give up your bed.  His sister and the 2 year-old can sleep on an inflatable mattress. ######


Prompt:
Note: I do not know the people that live here. We speak different languages. I have had zero communication with them over 2-years. These people mean nothing to me. I am simply staying here while I apply for actual apartments.

The door to this building automatically locks when you leave UNLESS you stick a rug in the door and prevent it from closing. Generally speaking, you should take your keys with you, because if you go outside you aren't getting back in.

This one guy NEVER takes his keys. Yesterday, four times he went outside to smoke, forgot his keys, and spent five minutes banging on my wall to get me to open the door. It was 2am. I was sleeping.

The fifth time I got so pissed that I am simply pretending I am not home. He has been banging on my wall for 3-hours now, and I have just put headphones on. It is really fucking loud, but why should I have to do anything for his stupidity? It is now 1:30pm. He started banging at 11:30am.

AITA for not letting him in? ######

Response:
 NTA

He knows that what he is doing is rude but doesn't care because you're here to open and he wants a smoke. It's justified, and after a couple of times, he'll learn to bring his keys, which is a fairly easy skills to pick up. The alternative is him banging on your wall at ungodly hours until you move out, which I don't see why you should have to endure. ######


Prompt:
Last fall I bought a horse from my uncle for $200. I also purchased hay my uncle was selling for $50 per large round bale (I bought 7 for the horse).
This July I decided to sell the horse because they had lied about it's training and I could not even put a saddle on w/o it flipping out.
The bill of sale states that the previous owner has first refusal. I am asking $500 for the horse as I put lots of $$ into it weight booster (as it was very thin & malnourished when I bought it),
hoof trimming, wintering over etc.
The problem?
My uncle wants to buy the horse and is convinced I'm the ass hole because I want to get $500 and won't let him buy back at my purchase price of $200. His reason?
He "cut me a deal on hay". He priced the horse that low, he priced the hay that low, he malnourished the horse.
 If I sell back to him at $200 he would have made money off me by getting free hay, boarding, healthcare.
This is causing a family rift
and I just need to know, AITA in this situation?? ######

Response:
 NTA

He has right of first refusal and has refused to buy it at your stated price.  Do you really want that horse to go back to being malnourished?

It looks like the horse would be better off with someone who thinks it's worth $500 (or a little less if you want to bargain).

Stand your ground. ######


Prompt:
So I’ll keep this brief.

My mom and dad have been together for 23 years and have been quite successful.

They had me (20M), 3 years into their marriage.
My mom got diagnosed with cancer and it’s been horrible. Well apparently my dad didn’t find it that bad because it turns out he was cheating with one of their tenants. She has 2 kids and is pregnant with my dads.

When I found out I was furious and told my mom which made her condition worse. They proceeded with divorce.

It was lengthy and my mom got everything. My dad tried to convince me to let him in their house to get his stuff but I blocked him and want nothing to do with him.

My mom evicted my dads mistress and all was well. Turns out my dad had been paying her rent. They’ve been house skipping and times have been tough for them.

I came home from shopping a few days ago and they were on the front porch. My dad, his gf and her kids were all there. They asked for a place to stay and I told them get bent. In fairness the house is large and can fit all of them. Do I care? No. I shoved my dad out of the way when he tried blocking the door and went in and for the next few minutes they were banging until I threatened them with the police.

Well they were leaving and I was watching them from the top floor and I saw her slip and trip down the stairs. My dad called the ER and they came and took her and I thought that was that until today when my dad came and yelled at me. He told me she miscarried and they have no money or a place to stay. I told him I don’t care and he’s dead to me and I couldn’t care less about his gf’s kids to.

He stormed off and I got a call from my gran calling me a cruel loser and saying u killed my sibling. I just hung up but my dads side have been bombarding me and I’ve been called cruel by a few female friends.

I am just wondering, AITA and should I help? ######

Response:
 NTA

He dug his own hole and he needs to live in it now. He cheated on your mother. While I think it is awful that your dad's GF miscarried, that shouldn't concern you in the slightest.

In all, your father's current position is all due to his decisions. He pushed you guys away, and letting him back into your life and your mother's life will only cause more issues. ######


Prompt:
My roommate is convinced my asthma is fake. I have an inhaler for it and take medication for a bunch of other illnesses. I have a nice job so when they lost their job because of the coronavirus I started paying all the bills.

Last week I finished my work (im working from home) and when I went to take my medication it was gone. I asked my roommate if he took it and he said yes. I asked for it back. He said no. I told him I need my medication. He said it was a placebo. I began to panic and started begging for them back. He refused, saying I wouldn't die and I need to stop overeacting. I felt like I couldn't breathe and grabbed my inhaler but he snatched it away. I managed to calm myself down and told him to fuck himself.

I wouldn't die but if I didn't take my meds I'd become moderately ill. I rushed to the pharmacy and explained what happened and she was very sympathetic and helpful.

I decided to move out. I could afford to and I didn't want to live with this scumbag. I packed my things up, over the course of a week, got my new place ready and then one morning I told him I was moving out and he had the place to himself.

He immediately panicked, explaining how he had no job, family, friends or money. I know this is true and I felt really bad but I didnt care. I have asthma I had to risk my life to replace the meds. I was at risk because of him.

He said to me that he would go homeless and starve to death. I told him I really couldn't care less. He said he would give back the meds but he flushed them. Oh cool, he had no clue what the meds were for and flushed them. I could have died if I had a more serious condition.

He said when he dies of hypothermia, hunger or if someone murders him that blood was on my hands. I told him my blood could be on his hands if he actually had the fucking audacity to flush my meds.

I left and I feel bad. Did I do the right thing? ######

Response:
 NTA

He doesn't care about your health so why would you care about his living conditions?

Go and enjoy your life! ######


Prompt:
My mom died when I was 13 years old and
My dad remarried when I was 15
His new wife and stepsons. Was the boss
Anything and everything he will do it
I no longer was his son, or problems
They made fun of me , was always giving everything by my own father. He takes them out to any restaurant and buy them anything
I was the outsider  this go on for 3 more years and I left for college and in college every year he will take his new family on vacation and always  tell me he   paying for your my college.

I'm now 28 years old and have a high paying job plus $640,000 the bank

My father call me in February telling me how he got $30,000 in hospital fee left to pay from his surgery and is having problems paying the it off and said no I don't have the money why don't you ask your stepsons. He said son
Yours stepbrother are 19 and 15 please understand that and you and your wife have jobs and plus your in laws help you a lot with your sons. Please help, I just cut the call

He call me every week and wife and in law
about me helping him

My wife think I'm unreasonable because I got all this money in my account and can't help my dad

I tell her , he made me feel like a outsider and put his new family first and never look back for me and he spends a lot of money on them and I'm not helping him

Am i the Asshole ######

Response:
 NTA

He can’t decide you are his son when it is convenient for him.  He’s only talking to you because he needs your money.  He wasn’t there when you needed his love ######


Prompt:
My (F23) and my boyfriend (M24) have been dating for four years and we currently live together. We usually have a great relationship but recently we've been at each other's throats over this. I can't tell if this is a real problem or if it's just because we're cooped up.

The problem is that I eat a lot of foods my boyfriend considers gross. Some of these are foods everybody considers gross, and others are things just he does.

Things he thinks are gross: melted cheese, shredded cheese, hummus, chickpeas, fries in milkshakes, this Indian yogurt I eat, and peanut butter with nothing else.

Things probably everyone thinks are gross: pickles in milkshakes, ketchup in rice, capers and their juice, and mangoes and cheese. There are probably others I'm forgetting.

Anyways I like these foods and I get that others think it's gross, but I don't really think it's hurting anybody.

Recently though I've been eating them more, and as both my boyfriend and I are home all the time in a small studio, he's been seeing it a lot more. At first he just told me what I was doing was nasty and moved on, but now he's started getting angry at me when he sees me eating these things and others he thinks are gross.

Today we got into a fight over it. He wants me to stop eating all these foods he thinks are gross. I think he's being ridiculous. I always clean up after myself, and it's not like I'm rubbing it in his face that I'm eating these. He thinks it's inconsiderate for me to keep doing something that I know bothers him.

We're currently not talking over this. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

He can absolutely sod categorically off if he thinks he can stop any sane human from eating MELTED CHEESE? What is his actual problem there? ######


Prompt:
Last week my in-laws and a few other family members decided to hold an intervention for my husband without my knowledge. They invited themselves over for tea and as soon as they were alone with my husband they started the intervention.

Except this intervention was for his "gaming addiction". They essentially made a mockery of interventions and it looked like some sketch from a comedy channel. They talked about how bad video games are and how my husband is being desensitized to violence.

My teenage daughter has struggled with substance abuse in the past and has had an intervention for it. The whole situation upset my daughter and she left the house to go stay with a friend for some time.

I then went and broke up their "intervention" and told them to be more sensitive towards my daughter. After they left my husband got upset and said I can't kick people out like that. He said it was just a joke and I need to calm down.

I said it clearly wasn't very funny because our daughter doesn't even want to be here for a few days. AITA for reacting like this. ######

Response:
 NTA

Good for your daughter that her mom is sensitive enough and cares about her feelings. ######


Prompt:
I have a coworker, let’s call him John (28m), who has very “old fashioned” ideas about gender roles.

Today I overheard him going on and on to another coworker, let’s call her Sylvia (22f), about how her boyfriend isn’t a “real man” because he wasn’t a great conversationalist. Sylvia tries to explain that her boyfriend just isn’t very social, and he doesn’t really like social events (where everyone met). John ignores her and keeps saying that he was acting like a shy little kid, and he has a lot of growing up to do before he becomes a “real man”. Sylvia checked out of the conversation and let John go on his little rant. All og a sudden, John starts talking about it is women’s fault for men acting like children. He goes on to explain that “all women are unable to control their maternal instict”, which makes them reward immature boys with relationships so that the women have something to mother. I left the room at that point. It was too much for me to have to listen to.

Another coworker (31f) who overheard it brought up how it made her uncomfortable. I agreed, and said I was thinking of bringing it up with HR since this isn’t the first time John has been spouting this sort of stuff. My coworker told me that I would be a huge jerk if I told HR, and while it made her uncomfortable she realizes John isn’t from here (he grew up in Romania) so she manages to “get over herself”. She told me I could tuin his career, and that doing so just because his views are different is messed up. I still have a huge problem with the way he talks about gender roles, but now I’m second guessing if I should go to HR.

WIBTA if I went to HR about it? ######

Response:
 NTA

Going to HR now is probably doing him a favor.  There's nothing overtly sexual there so this should probably just warrant a little wake up call from HR and not have any serious impact on his career.  Hopefully this will help him learn the social norms for whatever country you're in.

If you wait until there's something actionable, he may very well get fired.

The only reason I'm not going the other direction is because of the 'All women can't control' part of this. ######


Prompt: My 3 best friends and I were on our way to the beach earlier today, when my friend who was driving (K) was pulled over for speeding. She has never been pulled over before so she was freaking out a bit thinking the ticket was going to be like $400 and immediately told us we would be splitting this ticket four ways. My friend S basically told her no we wouldn’t be splitting the ticket as we weren’t the ones speeding K was. I agreed  with my friend S that we shouldn’t have to split the ticket. It ended up being a $190 ticket. I told my parents when I got home and they called me an asshole for not splitting the ticket. We had already agreed to pay for gas and are actually now paying $20 each which was a lot more than it should be as a “sorry you got pulled over” bonus but I am now mixed on if AITA or not. ######

Response:
 NTA

Going the speed limit is the responsibility of the driver. If they choose to speed then they have to accept the possible consequences. Only way I could see you being an AH is if you all urged the driver to speed and agreed to pool in if they get a ticket. ######


Prompt:
So I (19f) have been at my moms home for going on 3 months now. She(43f) has 2 younger children J(6m) and K(5f) who im here with 24/7. Her bf works in the oilfield gone 2 weeks and in 2 weeks. Before he left out, him and my mom told the children if they feel I'm being unfair to them that they need to immediately come see my mom or the bf. They listened to me fairly decently as and 6 and 5 yr old would up until that point. Now the kids ignore me completely. And if they actually hear what I say they immediately pull that unfair crap. And if i get upset about any of it my mom gets mad at me. I blew up a few mins ago because K decided to crush up a Nutty Buddy all over the floor and then hide it. Then ignored me when I called her down numerous times to come clean it. My mom walked back in the house and yelled at me for being upset over it. They gave the kids an excuse to completely disrespect me and not listen to me whatsoever. And now the kids are telling me they only listen to their momma and daddy. And that I need to go home because they don't need or want me.
Edit: was just told by J that if I die he won't even cry because im not important to him.
Also I raised J until he was 4. And K until she was 3. From the moment they got home from the hospital. ######

Response:
 NTA

Go home. It sounds like you’re here doing them a favor. The kids won’t listen. The adults don’t stand up for you or appreciate it. Don’t put up with this. Leave. ######


Prompt:
My father went to prison two years ago for a crime I don't feel comfortable saying, but it really disturbed me. It completely ruined my trust in him, considering how close we were beforehand. It also really tore apart my family, leaving us with half of our usual income, rumours in our small town etc. It really wasn't easy.

He's been out for about two months, and has texted me multiple times, and I've never answered. I found out he's meeting up with my older sister next week, and he invited me to come. I turned it down. I have no problem with my sister going, because she's her own person and can do what she wants. However, my mom is treating me like a bad person for not wanting to have a relationship with him right now. On one hand, I feel bad for completely disowning my father, and on the other, I can't forgive him for what he did.

so, AITA for not wanting to see him right now? ######

Response:
 NTA

Given we don’t know the nature of his crime I cannot possible call you Y T A so I’ll stick with my initial thought that you should only have contact with him when you’re ready.

That being said, I hope you go see a counselor or therapist so you can explore if you will ever want to have a relationship with him and making sure you’re on the right mindset for it. Once again since we don’t know if it was a violent or sexual crime then it’s really at your discretion but do see a counselor.

Hang in there buddy. ######


Prompt:
I'll try and keep it as brief as I can. I own my house, and have a tandem driveway with a rental house. The owner is an older lady who inherited the house when her mom died (she's about 75 and lives downtown). For the past 10 years, a new tenant moves in, I become friends with them, and then they leave because the landlord won't do anything to fix the house. She also won't allow anyone to pay for improvements (example: they wanted to rip up and replace the moldy carpet in the bathroom and she wouldn't let them). There's termite damage, water in the basement, and all of the locks are broken. The house is falling apart and hasn't had a single improvement for at least 60 years. I hate the rotating door of tenants that are moving in, getting fed up, and moving out. The latest tenant just told me they're moving (ill miss them!)... and I want to report the house for code violations after they leave.

The landlord hasn't registered the house as a rental, and never gives them their security deposit back... even when the tenants try and fix the house as much as they can. I hate this rotating door of new neighbors. SO. I want to report all of the code violations to the city, knowing full well that the owner doesn't have the money to fix them.  I'll be honest--- I want the city to tear down the house, buy the lot and start a neighborhood garden.

AITA for reporting the house and creating a hardship on an older lady on a very fixed income? ######

Response:
 NTA

Given everything you've said about how she is scamming tenants I kinda think you'd be the asshole if you didn't report her. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account.

For my grandmother's birthday I made her a triple layer chocolate cake. I spent all day looking for every ingredient so I could make it special and from scratch, because of how many layers it had it took me a few hours to make. When the cake was done I was proud of my work (I'm not the best cook) and I thought it was pretty good besides being a bit on the dry side. But hey I really did try to make it good.

Soon as I show it to her she begins to criticize everything about it saying I should have done it this way and I should have done it like this instead. She told me every single thing I did wrong with making it then saying that she should've made it.

Honestly I was hurt by what she said because I really thought it wasn't that bad. My family thinks that I HAVE to make her another one because of how bad of a gift it was and that it was an awful cake. I really don't want to do it again but everyone is making me feel awful about it for not doing it and I feel inclined like I have to do it. So, Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Get back at them with "why would you wish that upon my grandmother? I'm clearly such an awful chef that she deserves a better cake than mine. It's really cruel of you to want her to suffer through such a horrible present yet again" ######


Prompt:
Background: me (f22) and my fiancé (m23) are getting married in a couple of days and we had a move in scheduled for tomorrow, we already had a moving van scheduled and our bed and sofa delivery timed to come before our wedding so we can sort out the house out and move in on our wedding day.

I received a suspicious email this morning saying our tenancy agreement has been voided, I called up and asked why and they said it was a error. They later called me ten mins later and informed me that we can’t collect the keys tomorrow , she told me straight that the flooring is undone the toilet hasn’t been fitted and the inspector said that the sink is in the middle of the kitchen floor.

When they  told me that it clicked as to why they voided our contract, I’m a law student so I know they have breached their contract as they are unable to fulfill their promise, I told them they was trying to save their ass by deleting our contract off the server and they are in fact legally liable to reimburse us for the expenses we have incurred (moving van and furniture delivery), she told me there is a property available immediately on a different development however the rent is more expensive.

I got a pretty good grade in my contract law exam so when she told me they aren’t liable to reimburse me I told them they’re liable to my partner since he signed it the fact I didn’t doesn’t exclude the fact they are contractually liable to my fiancé. Also if they can’t honour our contract they need to give us the slightly more expensive property for the same price we agreed to our initial one.

Anyways they point blank said no and they will get the property ready for next week.  I said if they don’t get it ready for by Monday latest I will sue them and I know I have solid ground? AITA for throwing the book at them and threatening. This is the 2nd time they’ve pushed back out move date. ######

Response:
 NTA

Get a lawyer (3rd party can keep calm) and sue the crap out them!

No further contact except through your lawyer. ######


Prompt: This story happened a few months ago but it still bugs me to this day, I need opinions. So I (22M) was taking the subway back home after a long day at work. Its a long ride I get on at the start of the line and off at the end. I found a seat thankfully and decided to get some sleep. About a third of the way in I was awoken by a pregnant lady and her friend asking me to move. There was a seat next to me empty that her friend sat in, and they obviously expected me to give up my seat so they could sit together. I refused saying that her friend can stand so she can take her seat. Obviously this upset them and they started shouting at me saying I was a sexist toxic person. Everyone on the train gave me disgusted looks, I defended myself but everyone seemed to have already taken a stand. Anyway I refused to move, and eventually a seat freed up and the pregnant lady sat down. I got disgusted looks for the whole journey and the friend was still shouting at me. I started to believe I must have misread the situation, the friend of the pregnant women was quite chubby so maybe she was pregnant and it wasn't visible. I asked her "are you pregnant, in which case I'm sorry". She went all red and got even more angry saying I was also fat phobic, I was a disgusting person, she got off at the next stop with the pregnant women with her. Turns out she wasn't pregnant. The rest of the ride was interesting and I couldn't sleep after that as people were looking at me like I'd murdered a puppy. I need to clear my mind and see if I was an asshole here, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Generally, if a pregnant or disabled person needs a seat, you give them a seat. But her friend took the free seat and expected you to wake up and stand?? Ffs. SHE should've let her pregnant friend sit instead of harassing a stranger on the bus.

Asking if the friend was pregnant is probably not the most tactful thing, but honestly she was being rude bc you were calling out her hypocrisy, so IDC.

NTA in this case

Edit:typo ######


Prompt:
My older sister has just moved back after living away for years, so we are finally all living close together. At a dinner with my mother and younger sister tonight, I mentioned we wanted to do a 'sister dinner' for some bonding time. It's not really something we've ever had a chance to do in the past.

My mother was incredibly offended that we were 'excluding her' and said it was rude. Then sulked away, left the table and sent us a message from another room "how would you feel if you were the one left out? For each of you there is a descriptor for why you don’t belong."

Honestly I think her message is unnecessarily savage and I honestly wouldn't mind if she took my other sisters out for dinner, but AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Geeze, your mother needs to take a chill pill!

I assume there are / were times when she went out with your father and didn't include you two? Talk about 'entitled'... ######


Prompt:
I've known for a while now that my brother is in prison for something serious and my mother and family friend, who know the whole situation, haven't told me what for because he doesn't want people to know.

I've had no reason to care about his screw ups until recently, when I joined the navy with a job that requires a security clearance. At first I didn't care because my recruiter said i would be fine, unless he did something monumentaly stupid, but then at a friend's graduation party the family friend, who knows all, hinted that I should be worried.

Once I got home I went online and did a criminal background check on my brother to see if it was going to affect me. I got the check back and, oh boy, let's just say he's not allowed around schools if he ever gets out of prison.

I kept it to myself, until he kept calling her during our weekly dinner where he was trying to say things to me and I told her "I don't have a brother, so I don't know who he's talking to", she asked me what I ment and I told her I found out what he did. She was still on the phone with him so he heard that I found out and got mad. My mom got mad too saying things about how I ignored his wishes, went around her back, blah blah blah. I then shot back with something along the lines of, he lost his right to hide things from me the second it could affect my ability to hold a job i want.

My mother is now mad at me and isn't talking to me, apparently my brother is mad too, but the family friend who tipped me off is neutral and is the one feeding me info about my mother. Other than that, no family members or friends know about what's going on. AITA for looking into my brothers criminal history after finding out it might affect my ability to get a job i want and being left in the dark about it. ######

Response:
 NTA

For the most part conviction details are matters of public record unless they've been expunged. If everyone knew but you, seems messed up wouldn't tell you and you had to go search for yourself.

Why would he did affect your career? I don't understand that part. ######


Prompt:
Background info:
I have a full-time job, but I also do crochet work on the side for extra money. I take requests and ask for money up front so in case they back out or I can't get in contact with them, I didn't just waste time and material.

Back in December, my best friend asked me to make him a Sasuke doll from Naruto for a friend of his for her present. Since he's my best friend, I told him he could pay me later.

A couple of months went by and he never paid me. His excuse was "I haven't given it to her yet." I told him it didn't matter because I made the doll and wanted my payment.

A few weeks ago, I got a request to make both Naruto and Sasuke. I told my friend to give me back the doll since he clearly wasn't going to pay me and he wasn't going to give it to the other person.

After he gave it back, it was nowhere near in the condition I had given it to him. He left the doll by the window for who knows how long and it got sun bleached pretty badly. I spent roughly 6-9 hours making the doll (I've only been crocheting for about a year, so it still takes me a while). I was upset and told him off for not respecting my work or taking what I do seriously. I told him to never even ask for anything because after seeing what he does to my work, I don't want to put in the hours to see it ruined.

Did I overreact because I take my work too seriously? ######

Response:
 NTA

For that particular transaction, his role wasn't your friend, but your client. You were a professional offering a service that was requested and should have been paid for. You're right that it's irrelevant that he didn't give the gift to its intended recipient; that part should be completely divorced from you being paid for the work you did.

Now that you've seen how he treats the things you craft, you're well within your rights to refuse to make anything further for him. As the person who's making the things, you really have the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason. Nobody can mandate that you make something for them, and your reasons are inviolable.

At the end of the day, you do this for extra money, not charity. If you're not getting the money and you know your work isn't going to be appreciated anyway, why spend the time and resources?

I will say this: if you do work for friends again in the future, no matter how good a friend they are, I advise that you don't let them "pay later" and make sure you invoice them as you would any other client. There is nobody worse for getting freelance work payments than your friends. ######


Prompt:
I’m only 22, but my dad has mentioned numerous times that he expects me to not put him in a nursing home, and he always includes ‘wiping his ass’ as something we better be ready to do.

Personally, fuck that. I’d literally pay someone to do that before I do it myself. Hopefully by that point I’ll have kids of my own and I’ll have to wipe their ass. No way am I adding unnecessarily to that list.

And, as a last little tidbit, before he’s said something like “I wiped your ass for years” but him and my mother have stated multiple times that he maybe changed literally one diaper so that argument also falls flat.

I have no plans to ever see inside my parents pants for any reason. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

For me, the biggest difference here is your parents made a decision to have a child, the child is not involved in that decision at all, in any capacity. Your Father was doing what society expect of him as a parent. ######


Prompt:
First-time poster, long-time lurker.
For some context, I have a Dog and Two Cats, all of whom I love, and about a year ago, I started dating this woman who knew about my pets and how devoted I am to them beforehand. When this all started, we decided to isolate together, since we both work from home. This happened about five days ago.

My Girlfriend asked me to sit down so we could have a talk. I obliged, thinking the worst, and listened as she proceeded to launch into a rant about how she couldn't take living with animals anymore. The litter box smelled, the dog food smelled, the animals were annoying, ect. Everything under the sun was apparently a problem of epic proportions, and she couldn't handle having to live with them any longer.

At first, I thought she wanted to go back to her own house, but I was deadly mistaken. Instead, she told me that I had to make a choice - I could either have her and get rid of the animals, or never see her again and keep the pets.

I chose the pets. She left shortly afterwards.

Was I a jerk to choose them over her? Could we have worked something out? Her sister called a while later and called me an a##hole, and I just want opinions that are unbiased. ######

Response:
 NTA

Firstly, THANK YOU OP for not abandoning your pets. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you for that. Your cats and dogs love you and look up to you and they don't need a negative person like your ex.

Honestly, what did she expect?? I understand that everything might have been getting to her but asking you to choose is just absurd. I don't think you could have made this work. Since she's asked once, she would ask you to abandon your pets again in the future. It's better for both parties that you guys split up. ######


Prompt:
So I was in a chat group with a bunch of my high school friends and some other people. We were just talking about old times and things like that.

One of them brought up how his sister who is going to the same school as us probably won’t get to have a real graduation this year.

I said that sucked.

This one girl Talia spoke up and said

“Yeah, that does suck Matt. I can’t imagine what that feels like 😒.”

So people in the chat ask what she means. Talia starts telling them how on the last week of school she found out she had a fee to pay or she couldn’t walk for graduation. She was going to pay it, but lost the money before she could take it to the office.

Talia said how she found me still at school and asked if she could borrow $60 so she could pay the fee before the deadline and I told her no and then left.

To be honest I hardly remember this interaction. But I can imagine I said no because $60 would have been quite a lot of money to me back then. While Talia was part of the same circle of friends as me she and I weren’t actually friends, so there wasn’t any guarantee I’d get the money back.

Talia then said that in the end she didn’t get to walk for graduation with the rest of us because I wouldn’t lend her $60.

One of the other girls in the group said “wtf dude? You really couldn’t have just lent her 60 bucks?” The group chat got quiet for awhile until a friend of mine brings up something totally different and people go on talking about that.

A different friend texted me later and told me not to worry about it though. ######

Response:
 NTA

First, HER fault for waiting until the last second to try to pay a fee that had most likely been there for awhile that she probably just forgot about.
Second, you weren’t even close friends. Third, $60 can be a lot of money. Fourth, if all your friends go to the same school why didn’t she ask them as well? You could have each given her $10? Fifth, if you’re the only person she asked, she obviously didn’t try very hard to get the money. And if she DID ask others, then it wouldn’t be just your fault that she didn’t walk at graduation. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been asking my boyfriend for over a week to please, please check out my car. He knows what he’s doing, has worked on every truck he’s ever had, and I’m a clueless idiot who is very likely about to not have a job for a while due to everything going on, so I can’t afford to take it someone even if I did find somewhere open. It feels very strange when I drive it, is only getting worse. There’s been times where it has honestly felt like it’s going to straight up fall apart on the interstate and I have to drive extra slow. It terrifies me. My tires aren’t that old, so it can’t be that. My boyfriend is getting paid time off right now so isn’t working or doing anything besides playing video games so I’ve asked him to look at it and he just won’t. He says there’s probably nothing wrong and I’m being dramatic. I have to drive an hour to work every day and I don’t leave until dark, so I have a fear of ended up on the side of the road at midnight by myself.

After a week of being frustrated I decided to take my car to the only other person I know who knows things about vehicles, my ex who I’m still friendly with. It wasn’t a big deal, I texted him and asked if he was busy and I needed an opinion on my car, he said sure bring it around, stayed there for about 30 minutes and that’s it. My boyfriend absolutely flipped out when he found out today. Said I disrespected him, disrespected our relationship, I’m in the wrong, I “broke his trust” when all I literally wanted is to make sure my car is safe to drive ######

Response:
 NTA

First off, assuming there isn’t some strange and sordid history, it is generally fine to be friendly with an ex. If your current bf can’t deal with it then he has a stupid jealousy issue.

Also, he has zero reason to not look at your car and is being a douche to not do so.

You did nothing wrong, your bf is a dick, and he owes you an apology. ######


Prompt:
So my dad a weird habit of watching pervy videos from YouTube on his phone in front of us, especially while we're eating. They're usually compilations of girls in their underwear twerking or shaking their boobs. So I find this kind of innapropriate especially during family dinner and today I asked him to watch it privately next time instead of doing it in front of his daughter but he told me to fuck off. I asked him if he would be okay with me watching the same content in front of him and he said "yes you could watch literal porn and people making out for all I care". I told him are you sure?What if I do it right now? He said "go ahead I don't give a fuck" so I sat down and was watching a video of a gay couple kissing on the lips (no groping,no nudity, just two gay people kissing)
at which point he got angry, called me a piece of shit and stormed out of the room. ######

Response:
 NTA

First of all, you dad is super weird for watching videos of girls twerking at the dinner table

Second of all, he literally asked for it (you watching "literal porn" at the table) ######


Prompt: I'm 15 male and my sister(21F) and I(15M) decided to die my hair bleach blond today. My siblings hairs are blond because they are blood related to my parents and my dad has diry blond hair and my mom has just straight up blond hair but I'm Korean they adopted me from Korea when I was 5. I have recently been feeling a disconnect from my family and kind of feeling like the odd one out. When I told my sister(21F) this we decided to dye my hair not because it will help me look like that cuase there is no way I can look white but to just help me feel better about myself she dyes her hair different colors and she said after she dyes her hair she feels refreshed and able to do anything she wants it give her confidence which is something I'm lacking right now. We were originally going to dye my hair blue but we just went for bleach blond. Well we did it and when my mom saw she freaked out on me and my sister. She told me I ruined my hair and blamed my sister for giving me the idea. We didnt think I needed permission to die my hair at 15 years old. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Explain to your mother what the underlying motive was behind dying your blond if you haven't already done so. Hopefully, she'll calm down and be more empathetic to your situation. Also, you did not need her permission to color your hair - your sister is an adult and was onboard with the decision. In the end it's just hair, it'll grow out and it's not "ruined". ######


Prompt:
My sister unfortunately passed away suddenly recently and there will be a funeral soon. Unfortunately, though, because of the Rona situation, the EU commission decided to ban Americans and later most of hte world from entering the EU unless they have valid business or diplomatic reasons to be here. Mostly its some sort of visa or residence permit and at the moment my visa is expired, and  I am in the process of trying to get a residence permit. I live and study in Poland.

Almost all of my family is fucking pissed i wont go back to the US for the funeral but I cant. If i leave, I cannot reenter hte EU. I have explained this concept so many times to some of these thickskulled dumbasses who still don't understand. Others are saying I'm selfish for this. If i can't reenter the EU i can't continue my studies here.

I've suggested of other things i could do, i could skype or watch a live stream of the funeral or something, i want to go but i can't. I had a massive argument with some of my relatvies after explainign this the 5th time to him and i ended up cursing him out. ######

Response:
 NTA

Everyone is broken and grieving and so they’re being unreasonable right now. You’re sad too.

Funerals are more for the living. Ask a sympathetic family member to help you with the streaming so you can see it. Perhaps ask a friend to turn up in your place to offer comfort to your parents.

I am so, so sorry ######


Prompt: So, where I live, the one exam which determines if you can go to university will be taken in a few days. I collected every worksheet, every texts, judt everything over the last 3 years bc the teachers said this could all be important for this particular exam. I gave my friends permission to use everything I collected to prepare, but now everyone wants a piece from the cake. Normally I don‘t have a problem with this, but 3 people, who bullied me over my sexuality and my appearance in the past, now also want access to it. AITA For refusing to give them access? ######

Response:
 NTA

Everyone had the same chance you did to collect the material. It’s not your fault you took this test more seriously than they did. Now that the day is coming up they’re worried about it.

You are not obligated to share with anyone you don’t want to. But have a discussion with your friends and make sure they aren’t giving it out either. ######


Prompt: I (F26) live in the UK, and had a baby 3 weeks before lockdown. The first week I spent with my baby in hospital and he needed NICU, the second week I spent with my husband having family come and visit. Week 3 was just a tired breastfeeding haze with a few visitors. Then we went into lockdown. Since then it's just been me and my husband looking after our baby who is now 4.5months old. Myself and my friends are all nurses. My friends are now pestering me to join them for lunch out as restaurants are now opening. I don't want to go, my baby hasn't had even a cold yet I don't want to test them out with coronavirus first thing and the thought of having to watch my baby on a ventilator again scares me. My friends insist that I 'need to leave the house sometime' and that I 'can't keep hiding' which I feel is unfair as weather permitting I will meet them at a distance outside for a walk or a cuppa. Now things are re-opening it scares me more than ever as everyone is getting so lax about transmission. I've argued with my friends about this they think I'm being unreasonable and are insulted that I would think any of them could be a danger to my baby. So reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Especially since you offered alternatives. You can meet your friends for a walk while keeping your distance and staying outside.

Plus: even if you were a little unreasonable (which I feel, you aren't) first time mums get a free pass on this one. You want to protect your little one, which you just carried around in your body for nearly one year, I think that can be scary enough for some, let alone during a pandemic. ######


Prompt:
Fiancée has had an eating disorder for a looooong time (more than half her life) but recovered and has been doing amazing for about a year now. This is the longest she has ever been okay for.

Recently she’s been falling into old behaviours and started eating less. A lot less. She’ll fill her bowl 3/4 of the way and leave about half of her food untouched.

She’s drinking a lot of sugar free sodas and energy drinks because they make her feel full and keeps the hunger away.

She doesn’t want to eat after 7pm which is an old resurfaced behaviour as we usually have dinner around 8pm.

Yesterday she admitted she was starving at around 10pm but didn’t want to eat because it was after 7pm.

One of her accounts is one I set up and connected to an email we both have access to as she doesn’t have access to her old accounts and asked me to set it up. I think she’s forgotten by now about the connection because this morning I got an email saying “congratulations on your new weight goal” from a fitness app.

The “goal” would put her BMI at around around 16 which is obviously very low but not critical. Not yet.

She has a habit of falling and falling hard because then she reached that and she’s technically fine so wants to go lower and lower and lower.

Last relapsed ended her in the ICU.

We have an agreement that I don’t comment on her food because it makes her worse and worsens her relationship with food.

She made me promise that if she ever reaches a very specific weight to call professionals in to help her.

Would I be the asshole for actually doing that if she gets to that weight? I can monitor her weight which she agreed on when we set it up but I believe she has since forgotten about. ######

Response:
 NTA

Eating disorders are notorious for relapses and so so hard to treat.

BMI of 16 is VERY LOW. (We admit patient to mandatory hospital stay in critical care with a BMI of 15.) You need to get help for her ASAP. Do not wait until she gets to that weight. You know that she is on the downwards spiral right now.  I'm sorry you both are on such a tough road. ######


Prompt:
I've spent all day making a brisket on the stovetop and in the oven.  Started cooking around 11:30am. Great cut of meat, fresh vegetables, herbs etc...

At 4pm my MIL showed up today with some burgers and hotdogs they had grilled at their house.  My wife won't say no to her mom's cooking (she thinks she'll offend her mom), despite the fact that they both know and have acknowledged that I spent all day cooking.

AITA if I press the issue that we should eat what I cooked?  I can just picture me being asked to microwave  to reheat my dish tomorrow for dinner.... ######

Response:
 NTA

Eat the dinner you made and let your wife do what she wants.

But I have to tell you, if I spent the whole day cooking and my partner turned it down to spare her parent’s feelings and sacrificed mine?  I wouldn’t cook for them again for a while. ######


Prompt:
I am a college student due to graduate in 2021. My parents are funding all expenses, and I'd graduate with no student loans.

Last year, brother came out as gay, and was disowned and cut off from all financial support. I've privately told him that I'm 100% supportive, and have been sneaking him money by scrimping on luxuries and giving him the excess where possible. Unfortunately, I don't think he did the right thing by coming out when he did as he too only has one more year to go and could have also graduated with no debt.

He has since said it would be very much appreciated if I put my money where my mouth is and cut my parents off too, or /he/ would cut me off for his own health.

I do plan to do that, but only after next year and then I'll go low contact. My brother says this is not enough and I am not supportive of him.

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA

DONT fight HIS battles and cut your own throat. Let him go. You’ve been finding him at your own expense and that’s not enough?

Focus on your life and your future and your relationship with your parents.

He threatens to cut you loose?  Let him.  Be prepared for him to let your parents know youve been helping him with their money. He doesn’t care about you - you’re a tool to get even with HIS parents.

Step back- It’s his hill to die on not yours ######


Prompt: I was talking to my mom when the topic of kids came up. I am 27 years old Male and she started asking me when I was going to get married. I told her I broke up with my gf and I dont want a relationship for the time being. As a matter of fact I never want kids ever. When I told her this, she accused me of being insensitive. Her argument is "because you were born you also have to bring life in the world and play a part." I told her I will not have kids ever because I love my life the way it is and kids are a big responsibility. AITA ######

Response:
 NTA

Don’t have kids if you don’t want them and aren’t prepared for the responsibility they require and deserve. ######


Prompt:
Yeah, I'm serious. Over the course of the last few months(ever since covid) I've been at home mainly, I decided that I wanted to make the best of the situation and try to improve my Heath, I had always been a bit concious of my body image. By doing some workouts and eating healthier, and drinking a lot of water, I have lost some weight(about 15lbs) and feel better overall.

 Well, whenever is go to the fridge to get water, my(18) dad(50) would kind of give me a dirty look, a few times when I forgot to fill the pitcher and he got on me about it. I made sure that didn't happen again and that there was always water there.

Then, a few weeks ago, my mom came to me and told me that he was complaining that I was drinking too much water and that he noticed an increase in our bill. I laughed and thought she was messing with me but she was dead serious. I couldn't believe he made a deal over me DRINKING WATER. My whole life he's always been on me about little shit that I did despite being overall a pretty good kid, (far improved from the stories I heard about him when he was my age) but I couldn't believe this. I never confronted him about it because even he knew it was ridiculous not coming to me about it. I'm pretty sure I'm not TA here, what do you guys think? ######

Response:
 NTA

Don't think it would be physically possible to drink enough water to alter the bill.

Compromise - keep drinking as much water as you are now, but don't flush the toilet after use. See if he prefers that :) ######


Prompt:
New account for privacy.

I (39F) have been with my boyfriend (40M) for a little over two years. Recently, I have come into a significant amount of money that would allow me to quit my day job and pursue my dream career, or if saved and invested carefully, retire fully. I haven’t disclosed this information to my boyfriend.

I love him, and he says he loves me. Toward the beginning of our relationship, there was a lot of discussion about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together. Both of us are divorced and this would be a second marriage for us.

My issue is that his ex-wife and him are still very friendly. They share no children but communicate daily and even have platonic lunches and dinners together. When asked about this, he stated that there will be a part of him that always cares for her and that he needs to be there for her because she doesn’t have anyone else, especially now during the pandemic. I am trying to be understanding about this.

I haven’t told him about my recent windfall because I don’t want him to feel pressure to cut her out of his life and choose me because of the money. I also don’t want to feel obligated to help his ex financially because they are still close friends (which could be a possible conversation that comes up). I do want him, and there’s no one I’d rather share this good fortune with. Everything else in our relationship is going well, and I do feel he could be the one.

He is in a very good job that he can support himself with, although he doesn’t at all enjoy his work. I could offer him a way out of it and I feel guilty about keeping this from him. At the same time, I would like to know how he sees us moving forward before I tell him about the money. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Don't share this information.  Money changes everything.  I don't think that 2 years is long enough to establish the kind of trust required to lay this economic windfall on him...or anyone else.

Keep this between you and your lawyer and/or your financial advisor (and never give either any power of attorney!)   You have to become used to having this money all on your own, quietly and personally.  Don't make any big decisions for at least a year.  Keep it to yourself and think, fantasize, consider all the implications of all your future choices.  Until you are on firm ground with what this money could mean, stay quiet about it. ######


Prompt:
Not necessarily a relationship post but involves an ex. I’m wondering how I handled the situation.

My ex (23m) and I (26f) broke up a month ago for reference. That’s not what I’m asking about. We agreed to be friends.

I invited my ex to my birthday party. The party wasn’t huge, because of coronavirus restrictions, so I only invited my closest friends. My ex and I didn’t talk much after the breakup but I did call him to invite him.

The party was going well, we were all drinking, having fun, and then I noticed a friend of mine step out for some air. I’m quite introverted, so I like one on one conversation more than group settings. I wanted to talk to my friend one on one and get away from the party, so I stepped out too. I got only one minute with my friend when my ex walked out and started chatting me and my friend up. My friend went back inside and stuck me alone with me ex.

My ex started talking about the breakup, so I was already very uncomfortable to begin with, but then he started rubbing it in my face that he’s seeing someone. All I could muster up is “this is awkward.” His response? “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”

I’m livid. I turned around and stormed back into the house, left him outside and broke down crying in front of everybody. I told my friends that I didn’t want him at my party and a couple friends drove him home.

I spent the rest of my party crying. After the party I sent him a text message saying “You shouldn’t have told me you were dating someone. I’m still hurting from the breakup. I honestly don’t care what you do with your love life, but to rub it in my face is very mean. I don’t want you in my life anymore.”

It felt so right in the moment but I feel I broke his heart further by kicking him out of my party and sending that message. I’m filled with regret about the whole night. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

Don't invite an ex to a birthday party as a friend unless you've spent at least one birthday without them. ######


Prompt:
So I took over care of a dog because the owners  thought she was too hyper and didn't want her because they didn't know how to train her to not be hyper so my friend suggested me because I am a dog lover and am good at training, they gave me the dog like the dog is mine completely the are never getting her back especially because in my opinion they were abusing her but that's a completely different story.

I tried calling the dog by the name they had given it Peanut, I tried for 3 days to get her to respond to it I couldn't get so much as an ear twitch she just wouldn't respond, so I tried calling her Honey she instantly responded if I called her Honey and asked her to sit she would do it right away if I called her from across the house calling her Honey she would come running. My friend who arranged for me to get the dog is saying that I shouldn't just change her name and that she's had that name for 3 years. As well as saying it's disrespectful to change the dog's name, I'm just at a loss for if I'm being unreasonable? I also asked that my friend please use the name Honey when refering to my dog because thats her name now. So am i the one being an asshole?

Since people keep asking here is Honey
My baby! https://imgur.com/gallery/bn8300N ######

Response:
 NTA

Dogs don't have names for themselves, they have names for us, and if Honey works better than Peanut, then that's her name.

Both are super cute dog names, though. ######


Prompt:
Ever since I was a kid, I have watched TV shows and movies with subtitles on. I don’t have any problems with my hearing at all, but without them I have a really hard time processing the dialogue. It’s really hard to explain. It’s just that when the dialogue is separated out from the rest of the noise and everything in the movie, I can understand everything that’s going on, so I really prefer it. My brother and other family members don’t love the subtitles.

Yesterday we were all going to sit down and watch a movie. It was a loud action movie. I requested that they put on the subtitles, that I’d really enjoy the movie more if they turned it on. My brother turned to me and said, I was being selfish, the subtitles ruin the movie for everyone else, and I don’t have any hearing problems so I should just sit down and shut up. I said I wasn’t trying to make waves I just really would understand the movie better if they turned them on. He again called me selfish, said that the subtitles are distracting and no “real director” wants them to be in a movie unless someone absolutely needs them to understand it. I was really upset at this point and he said, “I’m just sick of your shit, why don’t you just go to your room and everyone else can watch the movie?” Nobody, not even my parents, said anything at all, so they must have been really annoyed too. So I went upstairs and just heard them watching the movie and laughing and having fun.

AITA for requesting the subtitles? Nobody said anything so I think maybe I was being selfish...I don’t know. What do you guys think? ######

Response:
 NTA

doesn’t it *suck* when everyone can understand what’s going on?

Anyway I’m deaf. I quite clearly remember when I was at a friends house watching a movie...friend knew I needed the subtitles and had grown to like them too.  He ends up having to defend the use of subtitles because someone’s girlfriend was annoyed because “it ruins all the jokes”. I ended up just saying “I’m deaf. I can’t watch without them.” ######


Prompt:
For context, I am F24 and just bought my very own condo. I took out a loan that I will have to pay back over the next couple of years, but I looked at, bought, etc. the condo myself. My Mother (F53) had nothing to do with it.

Now, my mom has always been entitled. When I first moved out, she gaslit me into giving her keys to my new place, which she kept referring to as her apartment. I folded then, and regretted that choice when she kept showing up unannounced while i was at uni.

As for my new place, she has already threatened to “throw me out” and “get herself a new tenant” if she ever comes in to find dishes in the sink. I never claimed to be the most tidy person, but that didn’t sit well with me. What right does she have to throw me out of a condo I own? My name is in the register, no one else’s. I don’t want her to gaslight me into folding again, but she is adamant it is “her” apartment and that she is “technically the owner” as she birthed and raised me. I love my mom, but I’m terrified.

When I said I wouldn’t give her any keys to the place, she lost her shit. Calling me ungrateful, that it was HER apartment, that I had no right to keep her out of it. I still feel like this is my property, and my name on the loan, but I’m also terrified of cutting her off because I know she will ruin my life as she sees fit. She once called the police to do a wellness check on me because i was in the tub and didn’t respond to her messages quickly enough.

So, Reddit — WIBTA for not giving my mom keys to my new place ? ######

Response:
 NTA

Do not under any circumstances give her keys.

If there are any codes of any sort needed to get into your community, do not give them to her.

Add an alarm system to your condo, if it doesn’t already have one.

This is NOT her apartment.

I’d be tempted to call someone - lawyer? Police? idk - to ask if there is some sort of preemptive reporting you can do. ######


Prompt:
My(F22) grandma used to make gorgeous patchwork blankets, and anyone who has made one will know how much time and skill goes into them. As a going away present for university (4years ago) my grandma made and gifted me a massive double sized one, and I love it!  Unfortunately arthritis runs in my family and making something this intense really took a toll on my grandma,  in addition to my grandma getting cataracts, so she has said she will no longer be making anything.

This has proved true over the last 4 years as my grandma has stuck to her guns and not made anything more.

Fast forward to me coming home from uni and my mum seeing the blanket for the first time in 4 years. She has now suggested that it isn't fair that my younger brother (M17) won't receive one and that I SHOULD CUT MINE IN HALF to give him some.

Because of the shape of the blanket it wouldn't even be that simple, I'd have to detach all the squares and rearrange them into two functional shaped single blankets. I know that I could do this, as I have made a point to start learning the skills my grandma had, but WIBTA  if I refuse? I might be tempted if my brother was really sad but he has never mentioned that he even likes the blanket!

TL; DR
My grandma made me a blanket, and it was the last thing she made. Mum wants me to cut it on half so my younger brother gets some. ######

Response:
 NTA

DO NOT CUT UP THAT PRECIOUS BLANKET ######