Prompt: (20F) I live with 4 other girls. Due to corona virus, the 4 other girls have chosen to quarantine at either their parents house or with their significant others, which leaves me in the house by myself. We have agreed to split all the base fees for utilities 5 ways, but I am in charge of everything else on top of that. However, base fees don’t cover things like our gardeners using our hose or keeping a refrigerator plugged in at all times or the sensor lights around the front of the house, etc. normally I would pay $60 for utilities a month, but this time, they asked me to pay for $160 of the utilities bill. I understand that because I am living here alone I should be paying for most of the bill, but they haven’t taken into account that there are certain things above the base fees that we would all be paying for if nobody was here. ######

Response:
 NTA for wanting to make this fair.  A certain “base-load” of utilities are necessary, even if *no one* is home.  Like the fridge still needs to stay plugged in, the gardener is still using the water, the water heater still needs to be powered (vs being drained or worrying about legionnaires), etc.

I would suggest looking back over your last several months/year’s worth of bills and figuring out what the low-point (lowest cost month) is for each.  Or alternatively, what the cost was last year at this same time (probably a bit more fair for HVAC).  Everyone splits that amount, the same way they were splitting the utilities before (whatever split was previously agreed on).  Then you, individually, cover the remainder. ######


Prompt:
My best friend (let's call her Apple) is black, and I am white. In the area we live, we both are considered a minority of the population so theres not many people around for her to learn from to do her hair. Apple is in a smaller minority than I am, so I want to try and help her out a bit by helping her learn to do her hair because her mother doesn't know how to do it either.

Now, I have another black friend (we'll call her Blue), I asked her about it because she always shows up with cute hairstyles and knows her way around hair. I asked her if she could teach me to do hair like that and Blue called me racially insensitive.

AITA for wanting to learn how to do Apple's hair? ######

Response: NTA for wanting to help your friend who has expressed she doesn't have support in this area. Weird that Blue won't help Apple... it is not insensitive to know that there is a difference between white and black hair which would require different styling/care techniques. I would hit up youtube, there are tons of hairstyling videos available. Also maybe just double check with Apple that she would like help finding hair videos. Is Apple's family not savvy on hairstyling either to help her? ######


Prompt:
Background info
I’m 16. My dad married my stepmom like two years ago.

My step mom and I aren’t friendly but we don’t fight. We are just so-so. I’m not crazy about her. She likes to knit and make clothes and for me and my brother. They are always butt ugly.

Last school year my dad didn’t even get my brother and I back to school clothes, he just tried to make us wear her weird 1976 pilgrim clothes. I hate them. I had to beg my mom to get me a couple of outfits that I could actually wear.

My dad gave my brother and I the task of going through our clothes. We tend to give things that we can’t wear anymore to our cousins.

I was trying on clothes and posting silly Instagram stories. A lot of them were in her ugly clothes, and my friends and I had fun roasting them. Then I brought them all down to the pile for going to my cousins.

My step mom didn’t say anything about it at first, but when my dad got home for work they both confronted me about the Instagram stories the clothes.

I said that the clothes were ugly af and I didn’t want to wear them. They both started yelling at me and telling me to take down the ig stories. My dad wants me to apologize and take back the clothes. I don’t want them, so I refused.

They started calling me ungrateful, and just generally losing it. My dad has taken the rest of my clothes from my room and is demanding that I take back the ugly clothes that my stepmom made, and apologize for making fun of her on IG.

I don’t think I should be forced to wear the clothes, nor do I think my stepmom has any business sticking her nose in my social media. My brother says that I should have just put the clothes in a donation box or something to avoid trouble, and that I messed up here. He thinks I was an asshole for being so direct. AITA for trying to get rid of these clothes in her face? ######

Response: NTA for wanting to get rid of the clothes, but so YTA for how you handled getting rid of them and bullying your stepmom. She made those by hand with you in mind. obviously it was a gesture you responded rudely to. ######


Prompt: We were planning on a quiet trip, just the two of us and I told the oldest to expect us gone for the weekend. The oldest told the siblings and now the siblings and their friends want to go. SO said fine but no drama. That's impossible especially for the middle child who causes arguments every time they go. SO said they would be sent home with the other parent if the kids acted out, but has an awful track record for following through. I havent had a vacation solo with my SO in two years. I feel like I've been cheated into yet another family trip. This would be fine if that's what was expected. AITA for telling my SO I don't want them to go and was looking forward to our trip being just us? My SO just sighed and said "I know." WIBTA if I drove the kids home myself if they act out? (About 3 hours round trip) ######

Response: NTA for wanting some alone time, but need more info probably. Have you taken the kids on family trips recently? Are you married? Are they your kids? ######


Prompt:
So this happened about a month ago, but I’m still wondering if I was in the wrong here. Throwaway.

So I (22M) was bullied a lot growing up, all the way through high school, both verbally and physically. Some of the most common things I was called were things like “fag”, “faggot”, “homo”, “queer”, and I was often times beaten up in conjunction with that. When I finally got into my teen years and started to question myself, thought I might be bi,  a lot of the trauma caused internalized homophobia and made it really hard on me but in the last year or so I’ve really come to terms and started to accept who I am.

So I was using Tinder the other night, just swiping through a lot of people without paying attention. One of the people I matched with messaged me. Seeing his name and photo again I did a double take and then realized it was one the kids who used to bully me and use a lot of those same slurs, and was surprised to know he was actually gay. I asked him if he remembered me, he said yeah and I told him about what he did in the past and asked if he remembers that as well. He said it really doesn’t matter, it was a long time ago and that I should just forget about it. I told him to go fuck himself, and that I hope he never fully accepts himself like I eventually did.

I told my brother about it, and he said it was a long time ago and that while he understands my anger people do change. I get that, but did he really though? He didn’t apologize, and just pretends like it never happened. AITA for what I said? ######

Response:
 NTA for the simple fact that he blew it off when you brought it up.
Had he been a little more contrite, maybe things would be different.

Perhaps he was embarrassed and tried to downplay it, but this was a chance to put some big boy pants on and be confronted with his actions. He either failed or hasn’t changed. ######


Prompt:
Background: After moving in with my then gf, now wife, I started renting out my old house to college kids (it abuts campus). I live ~2 hours away, but have good friends and family nearby the house.

Last fall, I got a call from one of my tenants that they turned on the heat and nothing happened. For most things, I'll take a weekend and drive over to fix an issue and see people. Heat though needs to be solved ASAP. I found a local HVAC company that could come out the next day (for a roll truck fee) and see what was up. I told them it was a rental, and they said they were used to that, and that no work would be done without my authorization.

The next day, I get a text from my renter that the guy came out, that the thermostat was wired wrong (previous renter had put on a Nest, and I didn't test heat when he moved out, just AC. My mistake), and that he fixed it. Cool. Sounds like 5minutes of work, so I guess it was included in the diagnostic.

Then I get a credit card charge for $270. I call to see what's up, and the office thought the tech had called me and I authorized the work. Nope. I never would have paid $270 for fixing the wiring on a thermostat. I could have had a friend pop over for a 6-pack of beer.

The office puts me on with the tech, and he gives me two choices, pay the fee, or he's going back and unwiring the thermostat. I tell him, no. I didn't authorize the repair, the charge is ridiculous, and he's not allowed back in my house. (I can't trust him not to break things worse). After some back and forth, we come to an agreement. He'll refund the charge, but they'll never work for me again. Cool with me, as I don't want to work with extortionists.

I call the office to close the loop and let them know what their tech did, and find out he's the owner of the company. Eesh.

So, AITA for not paying the fee or letting him back in to undo what he did? ######

Response: NTA for the reasons you’ve already said. He should have called for the go ahead. His offer to go back and un-do the work was extra stupid. ######


Prompt:
Ill try to make this brief.

My grandma is in her late 60s, was diagnosed with MS 40 years ago. She has difficulty speaking and holding conversations and recently has been showing signs of deterioration.

She had 18 cats when she burned her house down and 13 passed. She had to give up 3 living ones  aland was allowed to keep 2 when she moved into government living facilities due to emotional support. This was 15 years ago.

Recently one of her cats passed away and the other has two paws in the grave. Im worried she will be close to follow since she so attached.

Anyhow the neighbor didnt spay the stray they let roam and its having kittens. After running the idea through my mom i decided to get one of the kittens, potty train it and get its shots, introduce it to my cats, and then give it to her.

She was super excited and asked what they looked like. At the time they were days old so all i could tell her was 2 grey and 1 black/white.

Every other day for weeks she has called and changed her mind from grey, to black...to grey...to black. And it takes her a good 10 minutes to spit out the reasons she wants X cat.

Anyways they are 8 weeks ajd the neigbor brought them over. He said i have first dibs, but a young couple wanted the 1 grey and his son really liked the black/white one.

Now this doesnt matter but the available grey one is my favorite. It looks like a little panther. I told him to let whoever wanted specifics to get their choices and i would give my grandma the 3rd one regardless.

I honestly couldn't remember the last color she landed on.

Well my gf got home and i told her and she said "im pretty sure last time she called she wanted the black one"

AITA for leaving it as is and giving her the darker grey one or whichever isnt chosen by the other two interested parties? ######

Response:
 NTA for the colour question at all.

BUT.

You would be a huge asshole if you gave this very elderly, ill woman a kitten who will live 10-15 years without a plan for where it will live when she passes (and the willingness to take the kitten if it is too much for her).  If you are willing to take the cat in regardless of it's behavioral or health situation at that time then that's great.

I'm sorry to be so forward with you - I used to work at an animal shelter and elderly and/or ill people were a major proportion of surrenders.  Very commonly they would have behavioral issues due to lack of training/undersocialization/separation anxiety from never being alone or medical issues if the elderly person was not financially well off.  Elderly people loving their pets is a great feel good moment.  Not so much when the person passes, the family is grieving and the animals are collateral damage.

EDIT:  I'm going to amend my post - YTA if you give her the cat at all.  Grandma cannot shower or stand, nurses aides will be expected to care for the kitten entirely meaning it wont' get enough socialization or activity.  Kittens have sharp teeth and claws and often use them, she won't be able to train this or redirect the energy properly.  Cat bites are nasty and a common source for infection - she could easily be hurt here.

Also, there is another VERY elderly cat (17) in the home who is very sick.  The kitten will absolutely harass that poor thing, the stress will significantly hasten his death.  If you say they won't be together then I wonder how you will do that with only the nurses aides caring for the cats.

Finally, there is a not cat policy.  Your grandma was probably allowed two cats because she already owned so many.  That does not mean she should get another or would even be allowed to do so.

YTA - this is a very bad idea. ######


Prompt:
So I have a somewhat good job, my sister doesn’t because of corona virus and she tends to old people so she could catch it. She is calling my dad for money, my dad says no because he told her not to get pregnant and that’s what she did. Then she calls me at work, (boss is chill and let’s me take the call) here’s what I remember from the call

M: Hello?
S: Hey can I barrow some money?
M: How much?
S: 300? I know you can spare some.
M: That’s my entire paycheck. I can’t do it sorry
S: So your gonna let your nephew starve and not get clean pampers?
M: That’s not my job to take care of your kid dude, And I know he has clean clothes because you showed me all the shit you got for your baby shower.
S: Ughh I hate you guys it hard being a first time mother!
M: It’s not my Fuckin problem dude. You opened your damn legs for a loser, you chose a baby over college, You could’ve gotten a abortion or been on birth control when you wanted to have sex. But you didn’t! Don’t blame your fuckin problems on me! I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR FUCKING KID

I hung up and cooled off, My mom blew up my phone, saying how I should apologize and don’t talk that way to your sister and more bullshit.

My dad picked me up and my sister lied straight to his face, but he knows I didn’t and just said to me “ Show a little bit of restraint next time”

So AITA ######

Response: NTA for telling her that you won't give her money, but the delivery is a bit severe to be honest and you could have endrd the conversation firmly without being harsh (e.g. "i dont think you are being reasonable, i am not responsible for your decisions and i am not going to be part of a conversation where you abuse me for that. It was your choice to be a parent." And if she continues *click*). ######


Prompt:
So for a bit of background, one of my brothers and I have a history of being at odds with each other. As we’ve gotten older, I’ve grown tired of it, and I refuse to participate unless he pushes me to an extreme. He still makes fun of me regularly.

It’s gotten to the point that even my parents are telling me to push back at him, but I find the whole ordeal tiresome and prefer to just avoid him unless absolutely necessary.

Anyway, on to the subject of this post: a few months ago, our baby sister offered to sell me her car when she and my parents came to visit us from out of state, which is happening this week. My brother, mentioned earlier, asked me about a week ago if he could have the car she’s going to sell me, in exchange for his car. The car he’s driving now is much smaller than the one my sister is bringing, and one of the reasons I agreed to buy my sister’s car is because I don’t have much storage space in my apartment, and I want the car to make up for that. So, AITA for not wanting to make the swap? ######

Response:
 NTA for sure.

Actually, nobody is the AH here for that reason. As long as he will respect your decision, he just asked and you just answered. Your money your choices. ######


Prompt:
I am 14 and I have a 16 year old sister. My dad divorced my mom because he did not love her and I could tell there relationship was very stale. Anyway my dad found some one else and started dating when I was 10. I loved my dad and have a great relationship with him. Me and my family live in California so you can see that living expenses are really expensive.

Anyway me and my dad moved into his new wife's house and I have been staying there and like my new step mom a lot. My mom and sister are very jealous as my sister disowned my dad for being leaving his wife. Right now I am staying at my moms apartment. My dad recently bought me my first phone which is an iphone xr which is an amazing device.

My sister is stuck with a 300 dollar phone so she is jealous. Anyway I was using the restroom and then I heard a loud noise like glass shattering. I went and discovered that my sister has destroyed my phone and ruined the screen and the back as the phone has glass on the back. My sister took it out of the case. My sister then yelled fuck that bitch referring to my dad.

I was stunned I called my mom and told her what happened my mom could care less and told me to go ask dad to fix it cause he is rich. I told her that she should ground my sister. My mom refused telling me it's not sisters fault she does not get good things and that sister has every right to destroy property coming from dad. She said be glad you even got a phone to begin with and told me that I have no right to ask for my sister to be grounded. I might be the ass for asking for something that I should not be able to ask for as I am a kid not an adult. So I might not make proper decisions.  ######

Response: NTA for sure. Wasn't your sister's phone to destroy. Keep your head up man. ######


Prompt:
Ok so starting out, I have never been very maternal except with my dog. Little kids gross me out. I dont want to hold your baby. I just dont like kids. I think people who choose to be mothers are beautiful and strong but it's just not for me. My husband feels the same way and we have talked about if we wanted kids we would want to adopt and give a child a loving home when we are both emotionally/mentally mature enough for a child.

Next, I have a terrible fear of getting pregnant. It haunts me. If I were to get pregnant it would put all my dreams and ambitions on hold. I dont want to put my body through that. I'm not ready for it.

My husband and I have been thinking of me getting a bilateral salpingectomy. I am the one who came to this decision and my husband supports it. I dont want him to get a vasectomy because they can come undone and I can still get pregnant. But with this procedure I can no longer get pregnant "naturally" but I still have my ovaries, so I can be insiminated if we change our minds (doubt it).

We have been talking about adopting for 2 years if we wanted kids and my dad and his mom seem on board with that idea. But my mom just says "no no no" and "you need to start having kids asap before you find out you cant have any" and "when are you giving me a grandchild??" And then my husband's stepdad (whom I've known for 2 years) is telling me to have kids so he can have grandkids and makes all these creepy baby jokes to me. I've told them both I dont want kids and my mom has flipped out on me, calling me selfish and that I'm going to waste my life by not having kids. His stepdad just undermines my opinion and says "yes you do, you just dont know it".

A part of my feels bad because it's like I'm "cheating" them out of being grandparents but if I had a child for that reason it would be wrong and not fair to either me or the child. Would I be an a**hole to get this procedure and not have kids? Am I being "selfish"? ######

Response: NTA for sure. The only problem is that it may be hard to find a doctor to do the procedure on a young person with no children from what I hear. But you have every right to do exactly what you want and if they don’t like it, they’re just gonna have to get over it. ######


Prompt:
I (40 M) have a female friend (32) that I used to work with. We became very good friends and have ventured into possible FWB waters a few times. I didn't find out until afterwards, she was initially hired for her job by a dude based on him being a "sugar daddy." Funny thing is he claims to be this big shot former hockey player - when I got curious, I searched him. Mr. Big time played one year of college hockey in the late 70s.

When she worked for him, he refused to pay her an hourly wage, then said "well I'm paying for her apartment." He would call her into his office randomly during the day just to paw at her and grab her. He's an alcoholic and would say "yeah, let's go to lunch," then she'd text me at like 6:00 telling me they were supposed to go get lunch, and ended up at the bar all afternoon. Since he's the older rich guy, he tries to tell her who she's allowed to talk to.

Oh, and he's married. His wife is the VP of his company. She's also an alcoholic; he'll get her good and shitfaced early in the day so he can spend time with my friend. Then when his wife wakes up, he'll drop my friend off and go play hubby.

She text me maybe 30 minutes ago and tells me "hey good news, he might be hiring me back." I responded and pointed out what an asshole he is, how he treated her, and how he didn't even pay her. Am I the asshole for looking out for a friend? Or should I just say "ok" and let her make that mistake again? ######

Response: NTA for saying that to her. She's made the decision once to let him buy her company and sounds like she's ok to do it again. She's just as much as fault as the dude. ######


Prompt:
So the last month and a half I've been lead to believe I had type 2 diabetes from my doctor and the clinic I go to. At first this confused me as I'm only in my twenties and active on account of my job. Also I only went because I needed to have a work related injury looked at and was confused when they told me I needed to have a blood test done. Which I'm not sure was needed since it was a wrist injury and nothing else seemed wrong.

Anyway they said I did have type 2 and they would begin me on pills and other things I need immediately. Never did I question them as I thought they had my well-being in mind. But weeks after starting the medication I didn't feel good and I knew it was medication they had me on.

So I scheduled an appointment with my doctor and told them I didn't feel well ever since starting my new medication. Instead of lowering my dosage they raised it and told me I may need to start on insulin shots if I didn't get better. This confused me and I decided instead of going to my regular clinic I would dip into my savings and go to a different one. Low and behold they told me I didn't have type 2 or anything wrong besides my wrist.

Learning this I confronted my doctor and was simply told that they made a simple mistake and luckily nothing went wrong. So I reported my doctor and my local clinic. However I found out later that alot of people who rely on said clinic can't afford to go anyhwere else. So now I'm wondering if I was wrong to report the doctor and clinic in the middle of a pandemic and causing people to lose their only source of medical care?

So AITA for reporting my doctor and clinic and basically causing people to lose their medical care? ######

Response: Nta for reporting them but i highly doubt your complaint will cause others to lose their medical help, all your report is likely to do is make a investigation happen and then they might get a small fine. ######


Prompt:
sorry for any run on sentences and grammatical errors.  english isn't my first language and I'm doing this via mobile phone.

so my son is 16 months old (1year and 4 months) and he had immunodeficiency.  he can't get any vaccines due to this an we are constantly in and out of the hospital due to how easily he gets very very sick.

I am on a family group and my aunt posted a picture of "how to decline a vaccine legally" and a link to how Bill Gates is going to microchip everyone with the vaccine.

I tried to relay as much information I have gathered about how this isn't true and I begged them to please get the vaccine once it arrives.

note: I did say if they didn't get the vaccine due to medical reasons it would be a different situation

they (my mother, grandmother and both aunts) then proceeded to tell me they won't get the vaccine as it is "the mark of the devil".

that's when I told them that if they don't get the vaccine they won't be able to visit my son as he has a sever immunodeficiency.

that's when my family blew up and called me names and told me I was a bad mother for even considering it.

so AITA? ######

Response: NTA for protecting your child against a threat that actually exists. One of the reasons it's important to get vaccinated for infectious diseases is to provide protection to those who cannot be. Your family is a great example of the real dangers of stupidity. ######


Prompt:
So we were all at dinner once and my brother asked why we didn’t say grace, because his girlfriends family said grace.

My mom said that we could say grace if he wanted to, and so we did. Now she wants us to do it every night before dinner, but I just refuse to. She always seems annoyed when I refuse to join the family.

Just a little background - I’m not religious, I could care less if there was a god or not, I just don’t have any reason to believe there is. My parents took us to church like twice in our entire lives, and they’re somehow surprised I’m not religious.

Sorry if this is rushed, if you need more info feel free to ask :) ######

Response: NTA for not wanting to pray. Just don't be disrespectful to those who do and are. You can sit there quietly, with your own thoughts, while they do their thing. ######


Prompt:
I was born in a developing country. My parents immigrated when I was young. We were dirt poor when we moved. And I used to have nightmares about my childhood there, because we were constantly living in fear of violence. My parents made it big in our adopted country, moved back to Asia, and bought a nice home in a gated community. They now consider themselves patriots, and are constantly singing praises of the country they fled from.

I on the other hand, worked very hard to ensure I never have to move back. I became financially independent from my parents, and remigrated to Europe.

I have been pretty outspoken about my experiences, and regularly criticize my birth country for basically robbing me of my childhood. My parents don’t see it that way. They want me to move back because they feel I “belong” there. And we’ve had many arguments over this. They worry about my social media postings, because it may hurt their businesses, or I may end up in jail next time I visit.

Truth is, I still don’t feel safe whenever I visit them. The police there is still very corrupt. Healthcare standard is very low. And hate crime is still rampant. So one time when my parents tried to silence me, saying “don’t you worry you may be banned from out country if we keep posting stuff like this?”

And I just blurted out, “it’s not my country anymore; and TBH I’d rather you come to visit me in the future because I REALLY don’t want to go there.”

My mother started crying and hung up on me. I got a msg from my dad demanding that I apologize, and visit them the next chance I get.

I should also mention that they constantly worry that if I don’t go back, their estate will be taken by the government. But I honestly don’t care about that.

So AITA? ######

Response: NTA for not wanting to go there, trauma is trauma, but if it's the country I think you mean you may want to be careful about what you post anyway. They could decide to investigate or arrest your parents instead of you. Or just stop them from leaving so none of you would be able to visit each other. I have heard of that sort of thing happening, mostly to uni students. ######


Prompt:
So recently Girlfriend and I adopted her siblings and honestly I love them, I see them as mine and the youngest calls me dad which brings tears to my eyes. I’ve watched the two younger girls grow since they were babies and Carlos I’m trying with him through video games and fixing skateboards.
My mom lives with us in our Ranch style home  that we recently got due to previous posts gf posted.
Now onto the story.

My sister passed away giving birth to her newborn son on July 27th. It doesn’t phase me as I wasn’t close to her but my 4 other sisters are distraught and my mom knows and is mourning.
The problem now is that all my sisters want me to adopt her kids to keep them in the family seeing I’m financially stable and that I’m doing better than them. I threw it back at them and told them to adopt since they loved our oldest so much.
I’ve babysat my 9 year old niece in the past and it wasn’t a cakewalk, that child was spoiled rotten, given a tablet real early and needed the tv on just in case they got board of the tablet. When I would take the tablet she would break something if she didn’t get her way. I was never compensated for broken items and the child would complain how I barely fed her anything when shes obviously overweight. After babysitting only twice I told my sister and her niece to go fuck themselves and to never count on me if that was the way they were.
My niece and newborn nephews fathers aren’t in the picture. So I understand if I don’t adopt them they will be lost to the system but her doctor told her that her son was going to come with complications. She should’ve had a plan ready.
My mom tells me to not take them in as it was my sisters fault for not planning ahead or thinking of herself, gf said it’s my decision, and my sisters are saying I’m a douche/asshole for killing off her bloodline. So am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA for not wanting to adopt but Dude. Duuude. Spend some time thinking about how resentful you are of a child when your real issue is with your sister. That nine year old needs a loving home and a parental figure to guide her. Not saying that should be you but cut the kid some slack. Don’t look down on her behavior when it doesn’t sound like she was taught any better.

Hopefully one of the other sisters can step up. A newborn in the foster system will likely be fine and adopted. A nine year old is going to have a much harder time and there’s no guarantee they’ll stay together. Probably have a greater chance of being separated. You’re definitely an AH for your behavior and shitty stances on all the rest of this. “I told my nine year old niece to go fuck herself because she’s fat and complained I didn’t feed her enough.” FFS. ######


Prompt:
I’m upset because my boyfriend and I just finally moved into our first house. I believe it’s just as much mine as it is his, but he’s treating it as if it’s only his. *He never asked me in either situation, just offered it up and then told me afterwards.* He has offered up a place to stay to his sister and her boyfriend, and now his 2 friends. None of which would be able to pay rent/pay for their own food, etc. That’s not even the biggest issue though, it’s that it’s our brand new house. It’s only been months! I just want my own place for once. I’ve been through the roommate situation so many times and it never worked out in my favour! He’s let people couch hop so many times, and “weeks” turned into years with them! AITA for not wanting this again?

*Forgot to add, 2 of these people are addicts and I’ve been sober for years. I respect them but I don’t want that around us. ######

Response: NTA for not wanting people freeloading in your home constantly but did you guys talk about this before buying a house together? I am assuming both of your names are on the house? If you knew he was the kind to let people stay with him for extended periods why would you not have discussed this/set this boundary before hand? ######


Prompt:
Okay, so I made a post on my private Facebook account how I booked a trip to Ireland, now my Facebook is really locked down so only a few people I approve actually get to see posts. So my sister goes and asks my parents if I told them about this trip to Ireland. I currently rent from them. I had recently broken up with my partner and moved back to their rental property. My sister lived with my parents til she was about 35, while I moved out at 17 for college. She lived rent free while her and her husband saved for a house. Mean while she is very well traveled person going to England, Spain, Italy, Australia either through school trips she chaperons or with her husband.

I saved money to go visit some friends in Ireland, and I've only been out of the country twice. Since my parents got wind of this, mainly my mother, now my parents want to start charging me rent while I tried to get myself established again. I of course get really pissed because that is BS how she and her husband lived their free for years and she lived there her entire live up until they bought a house together, free of charge. And I try to take a vacation after I split with my EX and I get the shaft from my parents and they start demanding I pay rent. So am I the asshole for cutting her out of my life until she acknowledges what she did was wrong and it wasn't her place to tell anyone my business? Oh and I forgot to mention she tried to play some mental gymnastics and say it was my fault and if I didn't put it on FB this would never happen. ######

Response: NTA for not talking to her about it.  But I can't believe that you think anything posted on facebook is private.  Even if you've got it completely locked down, all it takes is one person to take a screenshot or talk about it.  Bottom line is if you don't want anyone to know, don't post on facebook. ######


Prompt:
I run a very successful online business, it started off as a simple hobby but slowly grew to the point that I quit my job to focus on this full-time. I know earn more per month than I was asking per year and I'm really enjoying working.

I've been with my GF for about 3 years now and she never showed interest in either my my job or my business. She never knew how much I earned and never asked because I didn't exactly splash the cash around. She recently lost her job because of the current problem in the world and is struggling to pay her rent so I was forced to pay it for her.

When she asked how I managed to do that I explained that my business had taken off and I was now doing it full-time. As soon as she heard this she begged me to hire her but I said no. Firstly, there's nothing for her to do not would she be able to do anything that I'd need help with.

She's not exactly good with money and has no savings as she spends it nonstop, I suspect she'd just want to get paid for doing nothing. She got angry that I said no and is now giving me the silent treatment. ######

Response: NTA for not hiring her because there's no actual position to hire her for. That said... you don't seem to have a very high opinion of her in multiple ways; if you really think she only wants to be hired so she could be paid for doing nothing and would just waste your money, then you are also wasting time by even staying with someone who would do that. ######


Prompt:
My son(19) has been in a relationship for a few months now. He recently introduced her(19) to us and it turns he has been fucking his second cousin.

He had never met her before and they both had no idea they were second cousins. Now, obviously they should break up because this is just i*cest-lite but they want to continue their relationship.

My husband and I disagree and so does her parents but they want to continue their relationship because they think they are "distant" enough. They said we should just accept them.

Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA for not approving.

However the quickest way to get him to break up is to ignore it and let it run its course.
If you force the issue they're more likely to dig in their heels because they're "in love." ######


Prompt: Ok here it goes. My fiance and I picked a wedding date that we always dreamed of and luckily the venue was available on that day. However, once we told the family my sister in law threw a mega tantrum that our wedding day was too close to theirs (about a month and we are getting married first) and that we should change it waaaay later after them. She said that we are stealing their day and that she should get married first because she was the one to get engaged first and pick the date first. However, it was never a race for me and I only wanted the date because it was special for us. In the end we still stuck to the original date we wanted and now my sister in law won’t talk to me. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA for choosing your wedding date. We each get our own day and that’s it, a day. The world doesn’t revolve around weddings. She’s being a brat.

I’d only say YTA if you have a lot of family coming from out of town and it would put a burden on them to travel to both thus causing them to make a decision on which wedding to miss. Your SIL doesn’t seem concerned about that - only that the world should revolve around her. ######


Prompt: Yeah so my friend had exposure at work and she got tested, alright that’s the reality of life now. Fast forward 10 says later, still no test results. Well i find out a couple Tuesday’s ago that her results were actually positive- she found out on a Monday- and doesn’t  bother to tell me despite being around me and others. Her husband actually spilled the beans. I was around her during this time and my husband was leaving a couple days later to visit family, namely his Mother who is immune compromised due to chemo. I was a little upset and all I texted was “you do know you can still spread it and don’t you think you should have told me?” Her response “well I feel fine.” I did not respond further. I found out a few days later she tells a mutual friend how I “hurt her feelings.” I’m just floored at how selfish this seems and tbh it’s affecting my friendship with her because I feel her behavior is disturbing. I’m not trying to be overly dramatic but like most everyone, I have a job, a family and don’t want to get sick and infect others or miss work or God forbid face hospitalization. But now she’s pretty cold towards me. Did I handle this wrong? ######

Response: NTA for bringing it up with her, but if you knew that she'd been exposed and had a test, then you really shouldn't have been spending time around her without having it confirmed. Good on her husband for letting you know, because now you're going to have to isolate and I hope your husband didn't go to see his family just yet. ######


Prompt:
(Edit: this is a throwaway and I’m on mobile!)

I think the waiter is the butthole in this situation, but you be the judge. This happened last year but I’m still salty.

I took my boyfriend to Hawaii for his birthday weekend last year and had a whole itinerary planned to make him feel special and celebrated. For his birthday dinner (on his actual birthday) I booked a dinner at the nicest restaurant on the island at the fanciest hotel on the island overlooking the beach. It rhymes with the floor reasons.

The restaurant was aware it was his birthday and upon being seated the waiter asked “happy birthday! Would you like a glass of celebratory champagne?”
We were like aw yes we absolutely would
He was like “wonderful is [some brand I wasn’t familiar with] ok?” We said sure sounds fine (spoiler: it was not fine)

Waiter returns with a glass for each of us and we enjoy them, order some cocktails and a truly impressive spread of appetizers and entrees, and settle in to a lovely birthday dinner. My boyfriend has a great time, I’m sitting smug at being such a great girlfriend. Then the bill arrives.

The celebratory glasses of champagne were $70 each! I knew this was going to be an expensive dinner and was happy to splurge, but assumed the “celebratory” meant complimentary, especially since there was no complimentary dessert or anything offered for his literal birthday. Because I didn’t want to sour the mood I paid it but left only a 15% tip (instead of my usual 20%+).

I am still pretty upset and want to leave a review for the place as everything else was wonderful and this really put a damper on the evening. AITA for being upset I had to pay ~$200 for two glasses of “celebratory” champagne (inc tax+tip)? WIBTA if I left a review of this experience?

Some friends think it’s not that unusual I’m am being petty and cheap but I disagree. ######

Response: NTA for being upset. In future I go by the rule, if its handed to me upon arrival then I'm assuming it's free, if I am asked if I would like something I generally ask what the charge is. ######


Prompt:
Quick overview - Been together almost 4 years, he lives in my house, didn’t bring much with him when he moved in, hasn’t contributed much to the home in all the time living here (I replace things that have broken/buy new purchases etc.), he is self employed and doesn’t earn a great deal so only contributes a nominal amount towards bills/food etc. We live in the UK.

Because of the pandemic he’s been unable to work and so he didn’t have to worry about finances, I offered to cover any financial outgoings until he can work again.

Recently he received a letter which he unknowingly dropped on the way to file them away. On finding it, I picked it up to take it to his office. I noticed that it was from our governments tax and revenue department stating they had given him a grant of a few thousand pounds owing to being self employed and unable to work. I handed it to him and didn’t mention anything about it.

Several days have passed and he has not told me about this and I continue paying for everything. Whilst I don’t expect him to tell me everything about his finances, considering the situation one would have expected him to say something, offer a gesture of paying towards the household etc. It’s concerning me as to what he is to do with the money considering he hasn’t mentioned it or spoken to me about it.

Thanks for listening and I look forward to hearing what you think of the situation. ######

Response: NTA for being mad that he’s a general freeloader. You’re saying he barely pays for anything even in normal times. Why would him getting the money from freelance work or the government make a difference? ######


Prompt:
Hello! Basically my bf (23m) and I (21f) are having a disagreement about the word c\*nt. He’s been using it more and more lately, to which I have asked him to stop using it so much.

Tonight, we were watching a TV show where he called the character a c\*nt. I asked him to stop using the word so much, and he said “ill take it into consideration but also I enjoy the word. So unless you have a good reason” he’ll keep saying it. I simply responded that it makes me uncomfortable. His response to that was “then don’t be uncomfortable smh.”

His other arguments for using the word c\*nt are 1) that America has freedom of speech, 2) that he shouldn’t have to censor himself, and 3) that me feeling uncomfortable shouldn’t be a reason to stop using the word. While the word was not aimed toward me, that doesn’t make me any less uncomfortable as I feel that it's a word rooted in sexism. AITA? ######

Response: NTA for asking. But you do have to wonder why you are still with someone that doesn't respect your feeling and basically told you "just don't be uncomfortable smh" ######


Prompt:
I was supposed to get married this September, and as an early wedding gift our friend group decided to buy us tickets to a music festival (Shambhala -we’ve gone the past two years but knew with wedding expenses we probably wouldn’t be able to make it work.) I was so excited about the wedding gift I started crying !

Fast forward to choosing vacation in a department I was recently promoted to. We are a small team so vacation time can be tricky, ideally there would be no overlap of people taking time off. My manager is of the mindset that as adults we can figure conflicts out ourselves.

A coworker and I were requesting the same time off. 4 days of overlap. Me for the music festival, and her for family camping. She has done this camping trip with her kids for the past 6 years so I can appreciate that they all look forward to it. Due to corona virus the festival  was postponed to the same week the following year. So now we know over a year in advance that we will both be requesting the same week again.

So reddit, am I the asshole for wanting to book the week of the festival even though my coworker wants it ? I can’t exactly be flexible, these tickets were a really lovely gift. ######

Response:
 NTA for asking to get priority for that weekend in 2021. That gives the co-worker over 1 full year to slightly alter the schedule for her family camping or come up with an alternative solution that would allow you both to be off for the same 4 days.

It is possible that at some point in the intervening months the festival will be completely cancelled (a lot of entertainment events are going to go bankrupt, and additional waves of shut downs are likely going to happen between now and then). But up until that happens, it is not assholish to ask that your 2021 vacation request be accepted over hers.  I agree with you that for something that has a fixed date, you have less ability to be flexible than she apparently does. And even if she is coordinating with lots of other people, she has more than 1 year to do so. ######


Prompt:
AITA for insisting my girlfriend pays the bill for the plumber I had to call after she flushed a tampon down the toilet?

Hi all. I could really use your insight into this situation.

I (21M) had my girlfriend (21F) over last week. We were watching a movie when nature called to her. She excused herself, and I whipped out my phone to browse reddit. I noticed she was in the bathroom for awhile, but I didn't think much of it. Some poops just take awhile.

She came out of the bathroom blushing, and said that she clogged the toilet. No problem, I would just plunge it, and we could get back to the movie. Wrong. Her movement had clogged the toilet completely.

So I called a plumber the next day, and when he snaked the toilet, out came a used tampon. Needless to say, I was livid. I'm a dude, and even I know that you don't flush sanitary products.

When I brought it up to my girlfriend that night, she blamed it on me for not having a garbage can in the bathroom. Now, I'm a dude, so I don't use sanitary products. When I have garbage, like an old toothbrush, I just bring it out to the kitchen garbage. A bathroom garbage just isn't necessary for a man.

I pointed out that there was multiple solutions to this problem. She could have just told me she needed a garbage, and I could've brought her one. If she didn't want me to know, she could have wrapped it in toilet paper and put it in my kitchen garbage. She didn't have an answer for me there.

We're not talking anymore. So reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA for asking her to pay for the plumber. But going forward, go ahead and get that bathroom garbage. Even if you never see Girlfriend again, go ahead and spend that five bucks on a bathroom garbage. Now you know that women need a garbage in the bathroom. I feel like you should have known this already. Regardless, now you definitely know. ######


Prompt:
This happened in March before bars got shut down. It was the night of my staff party. I (25f) had invited my cousin (18f) a month before and she said she will come. Day of she cancelled. So I went with my brother (23) instead. We arrived and were having a good time when she showed up. The event coordinator talked to me about only being allowed one guest. It was embarrassing, but the coordinator let my cousin stay.
It was an open bar, and around 11pm my brother and I were a bit tipsy. Our cousin doesnt drink. She informed me she wanted to come home with me and sleep over.
My brother and I got into a disagreement. We didnt cause a scene or anything. We went to the lobby. I started crying and said I'm leaving. My cousin knew I was leaving. I went to the sidewalk and called a cab. The lobby was all glass so she could see me waiting at the curb. But she was talking to my brother so I assumed she wanted to stay with him.
I got home and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to angry texts from my sister, my gramma, and my cousins dad accusing me of abandoning my cousin downtown at night. They were mean text messages. She had told them I abandoned her downtown at night.
1. She knew I was leaving and didnt come with me.
2. I waited 15 mins for a cab to come (Friday night) and she never came outside to wait with me.
3. She had money for a cab
4. She was with my brother who lives close to her.
5. There was an underground train station a block away from the bar that would've taken her practically all the way home. Which I understand is dangerous for a young girl at night. See number 3.
6. Her dad is overprotective, and would've 100% picked her up if she asked.
7. If my older sister did this to me when I was 18, none of my family members would care.
She ended up sharing a taxi with my brother. Her dad hasnt spoke to me since this happened and my gramma and sister havent forgiven me. AITA? ######

Response: NTA for all the reasons you listed plus the fact that she’s an adult who can make simple decisions like that. ######


Prompt:
It's been my dream to be a baker for as I can remember. I recently took a chance and applied for an apprenticeship and ended up getting the job. I didn't talk to my so about it because I didn't think I needed to. We have been together for 5 years but we don't live together. As a result of my new hours we haven't been able to spend as much time together and he is starting to pick fights about it. So I want to know am I the asshole for taking the job without talking to him even though I knew my hours would mean we would spend less time together?

Edit: I'm sorry if this is hard to read I'm upset right now. ######

Response: NTA follow your dream. Seeing you had told him to oubhad applied amd had and interview that was the opportunity to consider lifestyle change if successful. Out of curiosity, why are you guys still living separately? If you lived together uou see each other more. ######


Prompt:
My so called friends won’t invite me to their houses or to parties because I don’t drink. I don’t drink alcohol because my father used to be an alcoholic and I have a lot of health problems. I’ve told my friends multiple times that I don’t care if they drink, but I won’t. They will not invite me places because of this and they make up lies saying “I’m scared of alcohol”. I have no desire to drink alcohol, but I would like to be invited to social occasions.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA find a new friend group, they’re assholes ######


Prompt:
So, my fiancée and I were watching a light horror movie. It was The Babysitter. I’m a horror fanatic, and she suggested this movie. It’s not the best movie, but I have been trying to get her into horror.

First of all, I’ve never seen the movie before. When we were watching, I just made a comment on how the black guy is probably going to die first. She said that I was being really racist and that it wasn’t funny. It turns out that I was right. He did infact die first. I just find it to be a pretty funny trope in horror movies. Not that I agree with it, but I was making fun of it existing.

She still won’t accept my reasoning. So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA film student here. That's not even a joke, that's literally just a well established trope of the horror and slasher genre. As in we talk about that in my literal university lectures taught by professors. It's the same as the final girl trope (always having a 'final' girl left to fight the monster etc) or the trope that anyone who has sex in a horror movie has to die. Obviously she didn't understand this, but you weren't being racist. The film trope might be racist in its routes, but you commenting on it is not and its well established ######


Prompt:
So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months, recently I’ve noticed we’ve drifted a bit. It’s like I’m always having to start the conversations every time.

For the past 3-4 weeks I have been refusing to do sexual stuff. I’m only 16, I’m not as interested in it as much as he is. And I’ve told him that I don’t want to and I’m not confident. He said he respects my wishes, and I was really happy about that.

He came over yesterday and was of course expecting to get some action when I told him the night before that those things weren’t on my agenda. He didn’t talk to me much when he realized I was serious. I joked with him that if he came over the next day I’d do something for him, he’s currently over right now and is  mad at me. He’s hiding in my closet and my damn house.

I told him that he should stop expecting stuff like that. He responded that he’s mad that I lied to him, cause of the joke. I said he’s being petty and asked him to come out. He refused multiple times.

AITA for lying?

EDIT- I apologized about lying before I posted this. He said he wouldn’t accept my apology. Forgot to mention oops ######

Response: NTA feels like he just wants to use you to get laid, sorry. ######


Prompt:
I (19f) have a nonbinary friend (16m) who I’ve known for years and years, and we’ll call him Corbin. He has become like a little brother to me.

Corbin likes people to rank how much they like something (a movie, food, etc) on a scale of 1-10, or to use an emoji on how they are feeling. Everyone I’ve seen talk to him does this.. except me. He says this helps him comprehend how much they liked or disliked it, or how they’re emotionally feeling. Well he asked me how much I liked a movie I was watching, 1-10, and I said “I liked it”. He then got very upset and told me how I never help him comprehend anything because I don’t do what he asks me. I told him this is because I don’t think in ranked numbers or emoji’s so therefore it’s hard for me to know what to say.

Corbin then says he’s not going to ask me any more questions ever and now is very upset and won’t talk to me.

So. AITA? ######

Response: NTA feelings are complex and can’t always be summarized by a number or an emoji. I also don’t think in terms of rating scales, and I hate when someone asks me to do so. Also, emojis can easily be interpreted in different ways, which defeats the purpose of using them to accurately explain these emotions. That’s part of the reason why so many people have issues communicating via text or email. Tone is hard to convey over written word, and is near impossible to do with a number or icon. I don’t want to call him an AH, but I think pushing someone and not accepting that they communicate differently is both hypocritical of him and rude. ######


Prompt:
Aita for not wanting to live with my “dad”

Sorry for bad formatting
For some background: my mom left my dad when she was pregnant with my brother and i was 1 years old for many reasons. My dad has never been a caring father and i barely know him. He has been abusi ve in the past but not as bad as other kids but still physical ab use. He has a wife and a stepson (13) and two infants. Im 15 and im always blamed when they do anything bad or anything bad happens to my stepbro and biological brother (14)which sucks since they bully me and if i say anything to him about them im a “whiny snitch”.

I have lived with my mom and younger brother all my life but somehow my dad got custody of me for a school year. I was forced to move to a new town and get new friends which is very hard for me and i ended up just being lonely.  And finally this school year ended and i just moved back. My dad never respects my decisions or anything like that. He always trusts fake news and took away my electronic so i wouldnt be a school shooter. When i broke my leg he took away my crutches so i had to jump on one leg for a whole weekend. The only reason i had ever went to his house in the past is because legally they have 50/50 custody.

My grandma asked me if i have enjoyed spending more time with my dad but i was honest and told her no and he isnt even spending time with me i just live there. I woke up to angry text messages from my dad and aunt. My friends tell me that he is my father and that family is family aita? ######

Response: NTA family treats you well and he clearly doesn't. So it's understandable that you don't want to live with him regardless of whether he's your biological father or not ######


Prompt:
My older sister and I are very different. She’s very loud, very “open” and pretty shameless. This is why whenever she comes over to my mom’s apartment (where I am currently living because I had to flee my college housing), she has no problem ripping off her shirt to change or to show us that he boobs are bigger/smaller than the week before (shes 24 and for some reason hasn’t adjusted to the fact that they fluctuate with her cycle I guess??).

I however am a bit more reserved. Because of this, I immediately turn away from my sisters bare tits whenever she whips them out in the middle of the living room. Yes, sometimes I say “[Name], Really?” Or something similar, because it genuinely makes me uncomfortable.

This is not something we grew up doing, either. We had separate rooms and stopped bathing together at an early age. My mom uses the bathroom (#1) with the door open, but only when appropriate and when she’s technically out of direct line of sight. (My sister, on the other hand, will leave the door open in the hallway bathroom where she can be seen, heard, and smelled while taking a fat shit, technically not what im asking about but kinda relevant)

Anyways, so one day she rips off the top, I turn away, she goes off, “We’re all girls! What will you do when you have a kid? When you have to bathe them? Well it makes me feel really shitty when you react like that.”

So, am I being a snob/asshole? This is dumb but its been bugging me... ######

Response: NTA expecting people to wear clothes is fairly normal ######


Prompt:
Alright, so my younger brother is 8, and is still unable to wipe his ass, and my parents don't see it as a problem. My mom went to the store earlier, and my dad was at work. My younger brother calls for me and says he took a shit. I called my mom asking what I should do, and she told me to try to help him, if not do it for him. I really feel uncomfortable touching my brother anywhere down there, or even looking at his privates, so me and my other brothers tried to coach him on how to do it. I might get in trouble if he gets a shit stain in his underwear, too. I've previously gotten into some heat with my dad about this too, as he wanted me to wipe him once, and I refused.

WIBTA for feeling uncomfortable and trying to avoid wiping my elementary aged brother's ass when my parents can't?

EDIT: For those of you asking, my brother has no disabilities, although there has been a rumor here and there about him being really high functioning on the autism spectrum ######

Response: NTA everyone should be wiping their own asses by five. What does he do when he's a t school??? ######


Prompt:
AITAH I told  my husband he was a dick for giving me a workout dvd

Okay, minor AITAH but... I’m 8 months pregnant & we are going thru everything that was in our new nursery.  I(31F) asked him(36M) (husband) to go thru the dvds I:e tooons (those HUGE CD holders) of bootleg movies, porn, past boxing & UFC fights ETC. music too...
but he found a workout (golds gym or something I never signed up for)& he said ‘you might want this’
I called him an asshole (I’m in my 9th month of pregnancy & a little sensitive about my body) but I reacted & he told me it was ‘only for after’ but I was still hurt & I said some mean things ... AITAH? ######

Response: NTA even under normal circumstances that would make someone’s self body reflection plummet into a bad place, it makes you think somethings wrong or that you don’t look good and it’s quite honestly rude under all circumstances unless the person asks for suggestions for workouts. ######


Prompt:
My sister (17) has been sneaking out to meet a boy for the past few days. She snuck out to go to a park near our house  so i was okay with it. I only had to open the door for her when she went out and when she came back but lately she has been staying far too late even after telling me she won’t.
Yesterday, she came in my room and told me she will go to a town near us (about a 20 minute ride) with one of her friends motorcycles, i was not okay with this and told her no but she didn’t listen. I let her out and was really worried about her because of obvious reasons, i texted her multiple times to tell me when she’s coming, she said she’ll be home around 2am. The time comes around and she’s nowhere to be found, i text her again and she says she’ll come back at 4am. I got pissed at her and around 4 i just opened the door and went to take a bath, she came home at 5.
When she came back i told her that i’m mad at her and that i won’t help her sneak out again. She apologized through text.. AITA?

also, i’m ok with her going to the park because basically nothing can happen to her in our really small town and i’m not worried about the boy she’s going with because i know him quite well ######

Response: Nta even if it's a small town anything can happen I used to think that I was invincible in the small quite town I lived in until a man almost kidnapped me walking home at 2am from McDonald's ######


Prompt: So I am 15M I am currently going through a serious depression I have recently started anti depressants and hopefully they will help alongside therapy. My sister who is 21F is a "micro influencer" which is marketing terms for people who have over 50k followers on a platform but don't have enough followers to throw a bunch of money at. Today she made a post on Instagram on her page that has 67k followers saying this. "Somone very close to me who I watched grow into the person they are today is suffering with depression. I have seen them become a shell of there former self what was a person who could always make me slime couldn't even do it themselves. After seeing somone I am so close to experience depression I have fully come to realize the importance of mental health I would like to advise all of my followers to always keep there mental health in mind." That is very much paraphrasing because the original post isn't up anymore. But here I was laying in bed at 2 pm on a Wednesday struggling to find the will power to go and do anything. My sister is sub texting me on Instagram for free engagement. She never talks to me maybe once she was showed any concern and that was when she realized that I lost a lot of weight. Which she congratulated me on not even thinking about the fact I have been borderline underweight my whole life. So I called her on the phone and went off on her for making the post. She took it down but my mom was saying she was just trying to do something nice and I call bullshit she was using a mental health post in increase her engagement rate. ######

Response: NTA even if it was well intentioned, this is a nasty thing to do. Particularly as you mentioned she has not tried to help you in any way. ######


Prompt: So I've been playing guitar for almost 9 years and have gotten pretty good. I figured I would save up some money and treat myself to a nice one after using a $150 craigslist buy for awhile. So i bought myself a $1300 epiphone jumbo size acoustic/electric. It has an electric tuner and stuff and had 2 amp ports but is still acoustic. My friend has been wanting to learn for awhile and hes just been using the one I had to teach him and practice and stuff. When he found out I spent a large amount of money on a really nice guitar he was really angry, saying I should have spent the money on two mid range guitars for the both of us and was selfish for thinking of me and not him. AITA Here? ######

Response: NTA even a little. Tell your friend not to be an entitled dickhead. ######


Prompt:
On mobile, sorry for formatting.

I(21f) has been looking for housing for school I'm starting in the fall but due to all corona regulations it's been mostly chatting with people on a facebook page. I found a property that fit what I needed and scheduled an in person visit to see the property. Since I don't have a car my mother(52f) and stepdad(58m) have offered to drive me.
A couple days before going my mom approaches me telling me that my siblings are coming (15m & 10f) which was expected but also how she wanted to find a hotel and spend some time there as a little "family vacation". I told her it's a bad idea because of the pandemic situation plus all 4 years of my undergrad she has turned my going to school into a "family vacation" that usually becomes a stressful event where most of the stress is placed on me. After telling her it's a bad idea she said being stuck home "fucking sucks" and stomped off to her room.
I don't want her in a bad mood because of this plus they're doing me a favor but I adamantly think it's a bad idea. AITA? ######

Response: NTA especially if you have a lot of cases of corona in your area and heavy restrictions. where I live none of the pools at hotels or the park district are open, parks are closed, beaches closed, etc. A vacation here wouldn’t be much fun. ######


Prompt:
Edit: he also says he feels better and has more energy. I forgot to add this part.

Edit2: I'm his primary caretaker as well. I didn't think it important to mention earlier but he has dementia and does revert back to child like behavior at times.

My dad is 77 and has a whole slew of health problems. A good chunk of them relating to his poor diet. He primarily eats fast food and rarely eats vegetables. Every meal has to have meat in order for him to consider it a "real meal". He's allowed me to do grocery shopping for him and I've been buying him veggie nuggets, burgers, pork, etc. (Ex: morning star buffalo chik'n patties). He can't taste the difference and enjoys what I make him. I also blend a ton of veggies into pasta sauce and he can't tell he's eating healthier food. It's not entirely vegetarian though. When he wants to order out, I get him what he wants. I only give him veggie food when I'm cooking.

His recent dr appointments and blood tests have shown improvement in his health. My brother tells me I shouldn't do that and just let him eat what he wants, even if it's making him sick.

AITA for slipping my dad healthier alternatives and getting more veggies in his system? ######

Response: NTA especially because you're not feeding him a constant vegetarian diet + you don't stop him from having meat when you order in. I'm of the opinion anyway that if you're cooking a meal for someone then you make the rules- provided you don't violate their food requirements by feeding them things they're allergic to etc. If you're cooking and want to add veg to his meals then you're well within your right to, especially if he hasn't raised any complaints. ######


Prompt: I'm 18, living with my mom through the summer until I move away for college across the country. I offered to pay for dinner if my mom wanted to go out to eat now that my state has lifted most restrictions. I suggested we go out to eat at a local vietnamese place (because they have amazing pho and the owners are a super kind older couple and I know their business has been struggling lately). Immediately my mom bursts out with "Why should we go there when they made the virus?" and snickered. I told my mom to take me back home and that I wasnt going to go to dinner with her. She threw a huge fit and went on a rant about how i need to learn to take a joke and that I was being a brat. ######

Response:
 NTA esp because you were the one who was going to pay for dinner + there’s no way you would have had a fun time after a comment like that. Treating someone after they do something not cool is basically a reward.

And as an Asian (South), I thank you for taking a stand for Asian people who have been unfairly targeted because of the virus, casual racism like what your mom said is still racism. ######


Prompt: My friend "bought" my knock off apple pen for $20, she still hasn't given me the money for it yet. I never used the pen to draw as I thought I would when I bought it from eBay but I used the magnetic cap as a fidget type of stress reliever and really miss it. I have avoided giving her the charger till she pays me but my friend found a charger that works with it. I keep asking her to pay me and now she just keeps saying that I need to wait. If I don't get the money by the end of June will I be a bad person if I ask her mum to get her to give it back to me? Also I'm sorry if this sounds childish I just want to know if I'm in the right or wrong for it. ######

Response: NTA either way, but did your friend give you a reason for not paying yet? ######


Prompt:
So recently I (23F) went with my brother (18M) so that he could get an STI test because he has a new partner (21M). He has been meaning to get tested for some time because he had a hookup awhile back that, afterward, told him he should get tested for syphilis. I said I'd go with him to make him feel more comfortable.

So on the way to the clinic, he told me that "man I really hope I don't have it, I don't know if [partner] can afford penicillin right now". So I ask, "why would he need any? Have you done stuff with him?" He said yes.

"Well did you tell him that it's a possibility?" He said no, that he's extremely anxious about bringing it up. I went quiet because I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to make of this info.

I can't fathom that he would mess around with someone he presumably really likes (his words, not mine), and not tell them that he possibly had an STI. Honestly I'm disgusted and revolted that he would even think about doing that and the more I think about it, the angrier I am. I feel that not disclosing your potential STI status is taking your partner's ability to make an informed decision to sleep with you.

So, WIBTA for telling him that was a really shitty thing to do? Or WIBTA if I didn't tell him? ######

Response: NTA either way but you should still say something thats INCREDIBLY irresponsible on your brothers part. If hes to uncomfortable being honnest about these kinds of tbings with sexual partners he shouldn't be having sexual partners. ######


Prompt:
Made a throwaway account because a lot of people who follow my main account know me personally, and this would wreck my life if it became public information.

Also, english is not my first language, so please forgive me if I make any mistakes.

My wife and I have been married for 5 years, together for 11. I love her more than my life. She always wanted to have a kid between us, not through adoption or other medical procedures. While I was not against those ideas, I understood where she came from since she was adopted into a broken household and does not like the idea of it. Having a child who was biologically ours meant everything to her.

Last week, I came to know that I had developed an extremely rare and painful disease, and one of its side effects is infertility. I was honestly devastated. As an indian man, I have been brought up in a positive household, and encouraged to make mountains collide for the happiness of the people close to me. The fact that I couldn't grant my wife something so personal to her devastated me.

I genuinely tried my best to tell her, but each time, I would just break down crying, but I got closer to confessing each time. I had planned to tell her the news by today, and wrote a letter just in case, as a way to ensure that the news gets out even if I wimp out somehow.

Unfortunately, she came to know about it through medical reports 2 days ago.

Obviously, I knew we were going to divorce....but I wanted to end on a less worse note. I have never seen a person as disgusted and disappointed in me, as I saw my wife. It made me very upset. She thought I would never confess to her, but I only wanted some time to let it out, I promise.

Sorry if things comes across as jumbled, I can't really think a lot and my eyes get blurry if I try to proofread. ######

Response: NTA Due to the time scale. You held onto this news for a week, which is reasonable for you to come to terms with it yourself before sharing it. ######


Prompt:
I’ve had my horse for a few months now.

He’s very young and green (green means not trained much). He’s getting ridden by many of my friends who I trust to ride him at the barn. There is a girl and her mother who are very jealous about me owning a horse.

This girl and her mother have been nothing ,but vile to me. Her daughter is a self centered bitch and her mother just lets her get away with it! Her mother asked my coach about riding my horse. Coach said ask my mother. She asked my mother about letting her daughter ride my horse. I refused because a girl who has not been nice to me cannot ride my animal. All of my buddies get to ride my horse because they have been kind to me. My mother tells her no and the mother goes off asking why not?

They’ve been giving me glares when I’m in the aisle.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA dude. Coming from that world myself I know how it is. Worse than dance moms. It’s your horse, you and your mom have the right to choose who rides the horse, especially in the early years of her/his training. ######


Prompt:
Woke up this morning to a group text my roommates are trying to kick me out. I want to know if others would think I’m an asshole in this situation or if my roommates are butthurt about what I did.

I live in a house with three other guys (four of us in the house). Last night around 2 am this drunk girl shows up to our house, screaming, banging on windows, banging on doors and crying for one of my roommates, lets call him Aaron. Aaron just ghosted this girl recently.

He goes outside and tries to console her and calm her down, and they start screaming at each other. She’s throwing shit at the windows, and my other two roommates get up to see what is going on. I’m just laying in my bed and staying in my room. I don’t want to deal with it.

They all get the girl to calm down, then they come banging on my door. They want me to pay for a Uber to take her home so that she gets the hell out of there. It’s $25 to get her home.

I’m told them hell no?

They started arguing with me, asking me to just help out so that the situation would be over. They assured me they would pay me back. I brought up the fact that I’m still waiting on $20 back from Aaron. I’m not too sure they could pay me back if they can’t come up with $25 between the three of them them to send her home. I said no, told them to get out of my room, and locked my door.

The screaming continued, and police ended up being called by my neighbors. They were given a noise citation, and arrested the girl. Everything quieted down until this morning.

All my roommates are pissed at me for not helping him get rid of this girl. I told them that it wasn’t my responsibility. I don’t know this girl. They want me to pay part of the noise citation or they want to “vote me out” of the house.

I know I could have made my life a little easier by paying for the Uber, AITA for not doing it? ######

Response: NTA Dude, move out. They can’t afford the place without you anyways. You don’t have to lend money to anyone ever if you don’t want to. Now if it was a girl you rejected sure buy the girl an Uber ride. ######


Prompt:
 My girlfriend was hanging out with a friend and was drunk by the time her friend left. She came upstairs and hung out on the couch with me. I was looking for food on Uber eats. I asked if she wanted anything. Her response was, "I can't imagine eating anything right now. Just get food for yourself." I took her statement at face value. She was drunk but she was also high on coke which definitely will curb your appetite. When my food came she was hungry. I offered her my dumplings, she declined. I offered to order her food, she declined. I offered to cook her food, she declined. She was so upset I didn't get her food when I ordered my food. On top of everything my food sucked, it was Chinese food that was overly salty. From her perspective she "needed me in that moment and I just wasn't there for her."

 The following day she wouldn't talk to me at all. I think she's being unreasonable but I want a non-biased perspective. If you think I'm the asshole please tell me.

Apologies for the dirty laundry of a story. Thanks! ######

Response: NTA dude your girlfriend is extremely immature. ######


Prompt:
I own and run a webshop selling a food product. I started it in 2017. I also work a full-time job to sustain it - only this year do I stand to make an actual profit. I say that just so you know I'm not some greedy business owner who is rolling in dough.

I have a generous refund policy for people who aren't satisfied, even if sometimes people abuse it. Yesterday a lady contacted me saying that she received and was charged for $22 worth of merchandise and that we must have stolen her info to purchase the product with her card, sending it to her.

I looked at the details through our credit card processor. The order was placed using the same email address that the lady used to write from. FYI, for security reasons, the full credit card details aren't available to us - just the last 4.

The credit card processor captures the IP address for fraud analysis, and the IP address used to place the order was near the lady. The lady received an order confirmation plus 3 separate tracking updates, all to the same email she was contacting me from. The product was delivered about 10 days prior to her email claiming fraud.

It's very apparent that either 1) She is scamming and ordered it herself, or 2) someone in her household ordered it - someone with whom she is so close that she shares credit card and email info. Certainly I didn't steal her info, and it would be absurd if a stranger did that, as the product was sent to the lady using her own email. It's also possible that she has memory issues and has simply forgotten.

I relayed the above info and asked her to please check with household members. I told her that if she confirms, I can send her a return label, whereas usually I would just refund without a hassle. I usually am quick to refund, but this just seems so flagrant.

AITA for not just refunding her on the spot, and for suggesting that it's highly unlikely anyone but her (or someone in her household) deliberately purchased this? ######

Response: NTA dude you run a busines not a charity ######


Prompt:
So my freinds found out about a way to get American Netflix when we are in Australia. And one of my freinds didn't want to tell me. But the other one convinced that friend to tell me. So they told me and I was happy. I went home to my dad and told him all about it. He then proceeded to tell me about how it will never work, and if it does he will pay me a hundred dollars. It worked and we watched a movie from American Netflix  and it was great. I then told my freinds all about my hundred dollars I got. And I was so happy

They then said I owed them 25 bucks each, for them telling me. We never agreed to this in the first place and I felt cheated. I obviously disagreed, but they corned me into doing it untill I just started crying and I gave them  both the money the next morning. They asked if my parents where ok with, and they weren't so I said no. Then they gave the money back. Only because my parents weren't ok with it.

So please tell me Reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA Dude get some new friends ######


Prompt: I (F26) live in the UK, and had a baby 3 weeks before lockdown. The first week I spent with my baby in hospital and he needed NICU, the second week I spent with my husband having family come and visit. Week 3 was just a tired breastfeeding haze with a few visitors. Then we went into lockdown. Since then it's just been me and my husband looking after our baby who is now 4.5months old. Myself and my friends are all nurses. My friends are now pestering me to join them for lunch out as restaurants are now opening. I don't want to go, my baby hasn't had even a cold yet I don't want to test them out with coronavirus first thing and the thought of having to watch my baby on a ventilator again scares me. My friends insist that I 'need to leave the house sometime' and that I 'can't keep hiding' which I feel is unfair as weather permitting I will meet them at a distance outside for a walk or a cuppa. Now things are re-opening it scares me more than ever as everyone is getting so lax about transmission. I've argued with my friends about this they think I'm being unreasonable and are insulted that I would think any of them could be a danger to my baby. So reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA Don’t see how you looking out for your child is an issue. And nothing against your friends but as nurses, those are the people most at risk for coming into contact with the coronavirus. Do what you think is best for your family. ######


Prompt:
35(f) here who met an amazing lady back in February. I'm mom to cool cat 9 year old daughter. Lady moved in relatively quickly, partially in due to that old lesbian stereotype, and also because 'Rona.

For the most part the transition went smoothly. Daughter's dad and I share 50/50 custody and have great friendship. Every Friday my daughter and I like to have a "girls night" of just her and I doing stupid shit.

We've been including girlfriend in these Friday night romps and she's been mindful of letting us have our space. Until last night. Daughter wanted to watch movies and sleep on pull out couch with me.

Girlfriend was pissed. She said she wanted to sleep next to her person, which is me. Well I'm that little person's person too. I told her I loved her and that one night of me sleeping on pull out watching movies with my kid shouldn't be an issue. I sleep in bed with GF every night of the week.

Today I'm getting the silent treatment.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA doesn't sound like shes ready to date someone with a kid ######


Prompt:
I really don't know whether I am just being petty here so I figured I'd ask. Also I am 16M, my Sister is 14F and my Stepbrother is 13M.

So my parents divorced 6 years ago and 3 years ago my mom remarried to my now stepfather and they merged our families I think that is what they call it. My Stepdad has 2 sons one who is now 13 and another who is 19.

Now there are 4 rooms in our house, the Master is used by my parents the middle room was used by my older stepbrother, the smallest room is used by my sister and the final room is used by me and my stepbrother, my stepbrother moved out however to college so I got his room last year which I was happy about since I dislike my stepbrother and we don't get along so sharing a room was horrid, but I was always promised my own room once the oldest stepbrother went to college so I suffered through it.

Now my mom is pregnant and last week they took the smallest room from my sister to make it a baby room, moved my sister in to my room and moved me back in with my stepbrother, as you might imagine I threw a fit but I was told to drop it as such I told my dad I want to move to his house where I have my own room, when my sister heard she immediatly asked my dad as well since we are very close and she doesn't want to live alone with our youngest stepbrother, he said yes and since we're both over 14 we can decide where to live ourselves.

My mom on the other hand is extremely hurt and upset and feels like we're abandoning her over something extremely petty. I got to be honest I feel pretty bad for her but I am 16 and I can't even have alone time with my girlfriend, friends or alone time in general because I have to share a room with my stepbrother Who I don't even like, so what did she think would happen, I feel like I always get screwed over tbh.

So am I being a petty asshole or am I right? ######

Response: NTA Does your Dad have any step kids living there at his house? ######


Prompt:
Okay, so, it's background info o'clock.
I'm 19, M, disabled. I'm autistic, have ADD, and a massive sensory processing disorder (SPD).
Basically, SPD means i'm very sensitive to sensory stimulations and can overload very quickly. I also have prothesis to protect my ears from sound (it's basic but sufficient when I'm not too overloaded).

I was on the bus earlier and had my prothesis on, so I couldn't hear people very well. I also have a small deficiency in my left ear. A middle-aged woman started talking to me on my left side. At first I just did not hear her. That offended her and she taped my shoulder, which made me jump because, I don't like unsolicited contact from strangers (again, autism). I look at her confused and she goes, mockingly:

"Are you deaf, or what?!"

That rubbed me the wrong way because I don't like the idea of someone making fun of deaf people, plus I really didn't want to interact with her. So, I had an idea. I took my phone in Notes and typed:

《Sorry, I can't hear you. My hearing aids battery are dead. Can you sign ?》

She looked at me, blushed heavily and just very loudly "uh, no, it's nothing." and walked away. I was satisfied but then realised that it's kinda rude to impersonate a disability that I don't have, and maybe she wanted to communicate something important to me ? Sure, she walked away but I can't be sure it was nothing. I think I maybe should have avoided that interaction in another way. I don't know. What do you think, AITA ?

(English is not my first language and I'm on mobile) ######

Response:
 NTA didn’t hurt this woman and taught her a lesson about being rude about disabled people in public.
Edit: not to say that you are disabled, but I’m sure she’d complain if she thought somebody didn’t look like they needed a hearing aid, wheelchair, etc. she seems insensitive to anything that could set a person back.

Edit #2: hey guys- I’m getting a lot of corrections about the disabled part of my comment and I hear you!! I’m not trying to dismiss the way OP navigates life and I understand how my words actually may have done so.  Please keep any hostility out- I’m listening! ######


Prompt:
We are muslims and unlike them, I sorta neglect my religious tasks. Sometimes I don’t pray, and sometimes I’m not fasting in this ramadan. So basically, after each feast, my roommates go pray together, and they ask me to join them. I prayed with them before but yesterday and the day before I said nah, I’ll pray by myself (in reality I don’t want to pray cuz I’m lazy), and when I said so, they get annoyed as if I did something rude. One of them even told me that dude cmon pray so you can enter heaven, and so god doesnt punish you. Mate I get it but don’t push me like this or at least be indifferent about me, it’s my problem.

Bonus: When I was living with my family before moving to college, they didn’t enforce me to be completely religious. They told me to do it on if I’m willing to. No matter how much I skipped prayer, they never shamed me for it. ######

Response: NTA definitely. Your religious practices are none of their business. ######


Prompt:
So I’m a new mother, my son is 3 weeks old. Forgive me for any mistakes, I didn’t sleep much last night.

My sister lives with us, we own our house, she doesn’t pay rent, she lives with us because she can’t afford to live on her own. I had hoped she’d move out before I gave birth but she didn’t.

I normally feed our son in our bedroom or his room, but yesterday my husband and I were watching tv, and I was holding him and he got hungry, and I was tired and didn’t want to go upstairs just to feed him and be stuck alone. My sister was out buying groceries(that we are paying for) so I didn’t think it would be a problem.

She came home in the middle of me feeding him and freaked out saying it was gross to do that in the living room and to go somewhere private, and she didn’t want to see my tits(her words).

I didn’t have the energy to explain why I didn’t go upstairs so I just went into the bathroom with him. But now she’s making comments whenever I’m holding him like “don’t take your tits out here”. I’m just tired, I don’t think it was really that big a deal, and werrr fucking paying for the house. Also, would I be an asshole if I told her to go fuck herself because I really want to. ######

Response:
 NTA Definitely tell her to go fuck herself. How about next time she wants to eat something she goes and sits in the bathroom?

If she's got a problem with you feeding your child in your own home she can easily find somewhere else to live. ######


Prompt:
im in a Facebook group where people from my city and nearby areas will post pictures of places they've been and outdoor activities such as hiking, fishing, skiing, airsoft or others. I posted in the group chat "I'm going to this mountain on this day, anyone interested in coming" and someone commented saying that she's interested. I texted her and I asked if she wanted to go and she said yeah i'll go hiking anywhere. I asked if she had any friends interested in coming and she said its late and we can talk later (it was like 11 pm). Next day I texted her "hey so which day works best?" and she blocked me. I thought that was pretty fucking rude, like if she didn't want to come or couldn't she could've just said so. Whatever i guess.

Well about 2 weeks later I made a new post about a place I'm going hiking too, which requires some equipment which i've been able to get from my brother. I said we can share some. She unblocks me and tells me she's interested in coming and I responded back with "sorry but I'm not interested in you coming"

She asked me why and i told her its pretty obvious and i don't want any drama on this trip. She kept spamming me with texts saying i need to let her go and i told her "its no and I'm not changing my mind" and i muted her. She gets all bitchy in the post about it and people responded back with "i think he's wise to not want to take you"

Some people said i was petty for this since i was taking basically everyone else who wanted to go except for her. I think what she did was rude, and reason enough to take her but more so i don't trust her, and i don't want her starting drama and shit so fuck her. She's really really immature especially for someone 5 years older than me (19 and 25) ######

Response: NTA definitely she sounds weird ######


Prompt:
I have three friends who are college-aged — two
girls and one man. They were walking in our local park the other day, and this 50 year old man starts telling them “Ive been looking for y’all; I met one of you last week and remembered your energy. I knew you guys were here way before I saw you”. He then proceeds to put his hand out and “read” them all. He apparently tells them some accurate characteristics about themselves.

My friends were so intrigued that they exchanged contact info with this man and went to his home the next day. Apparently, he has two college-aged sons and a wife that completely support and believe everything he says. He proceeds to tell them things like he has the cure to the coronavirus, he time-travels, can read anybody, and has met aliens. He mentioned a blue and red Kachina. This all sounds crazy to me, but my friend insists that it was extremely profound and a life changing spiritual experience. I am one of the most spiritual people she knows, and she desperately wants me to come back to meet him.

To me, I think it’s pretty crazy that they went to a home of an older random stranger that approached them at the park. I find it weird that a 50 year old man has time to text three kids/young adults all day. He even said to them, “I feel like you’re going to bring many people”; it’s giving me cult vibes. My friend says I’m one of the most open-minded person she knows and thought I’d be excited and feels I’m being judge mental. AITA? ######

Response: NTA definitely gives off some crazy cult or kidnapping vibes, I’d be super cautious for your friends and let them know all your thoughts on the subject. ######


Prompt:
My property ends about 2 feet from my neighbor’s property. Because it’s so close we have not made a big deal when he walks in our lawn a bit or needs to set up a sprinkler in our lawn to water the side of his house. I didn’t even come t when he drove his truck into his back yard multiple times over the course of a few weeks.

But recently I think he’s taking it too far. He hired a tree removal company to take down a tree in his backyard and told them it was ok to drive their large trucks through my lawn to get there without asking us. He got a new dog (German Shepard) and put the stake leash right on his property line so the dog is very far into my lawn. I have a young child who is afraid of dogs and he refuses to play in our lawn because the dog is so far into our yard.

For reference, he has a decent sized front yard and back yard (1/4 acre or so total) and the majority of our lawn is the area where he keeps encroaching.

He is a new neighbor so we started nicely just letting him know where the property line is so he didn’t have to wonder and we said nothing when he drove his truck back. But i have now twice had to ask him to get his dog off my lawn. He makes a big huff about it and is clearly annoyed.

I want to be neighborly but I also want him to respect that he can’t do what he wants with my property. My husband thinks we should just ignore it. I think we need to gently ask him to keep his vehicles and animals out of our yard. ######

Response: NTA definitely and never underestimate the value of a good fence. ######


Prompt:
I’m sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language,

My friend has been a friend of mine for a long time, because she didn’t have a car I used to give her rides to fun activities we could both do like partying, going to the mall, going to the beach, you get the idea.

Well one day she got pregnant from an unknown guy in a party and she decided to keep the baby and jokingly said to me that I’m going to be the baby’s uncle (oh boy).

Well, I didn’t mind helping her from time to time, taking her to doctors appointments, going with her to the mall to get her some baby clothes, things that I honestly didn’t enjoy, I even had to miss work sometimes to help her but I knew she was in a tight spot and helped her anyways. This became something of a routine.

A month ago, she texted me that she needed me to take her to a doctors appointment for a routine check the next day in the morning (7 am). She sent the message at 10 pm and when she  sent it I was already with my friends getting ready to go partying, well, I told her that and that I wouldn’t be able to go, when I told her, she started calling me demanding that I took them home so I can rest and take her and the baby to the doctors appointment, when I said no she got angry and started saying things like “you are not really a good friend” “I should take her baby more seriously” “it’s time to grow up”  and I decided to ignore her from that point and we haven’t talked since.

Well one mutual friend found out about it and said that I’m really not a good friend and that I should have told the rest of the group so we could had decided what to do in the moment. But the thing is I hadn’t Had fun in such a long time because of me helping her that I didn’t want to do that and from that moment the group has been divided between the people who think I’m an asshole and the rest.

Before you ask, the rest of the group doesn’t have a car.

If there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes please let me know

So reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA dear god run.  'It's time to grow up' is a ridiculous thing to say when it isn't your child.  It's time for her to grow up. ######


Prompt:
Am I The Asshole for not giving my boyfriend’s sister in law a quilt?

A little bit of context: I have anxiety, and when I get anxious, doing something where I can see results really helps me. So, my boyfriend got me a baby quilt to sew whenever I have one of my attacks. It’s a cross stitch, and takes a lot of time. Him and I decided for me to finish it and we would keep it for if we were to ever get married and have kids.

My boyfriend’s brother isn’t by blood. The brother, “J,” and his family adopted my boyfriend in middle school and my boyfriend’s family wasn’t good and taking care of him. Because of this, my boyfriend feels indebted to J’s family.

J recently married his wife, and she is pregnant. I was sewing my quilt once when they FaceTimed us, and my bf showed it to them, telling them how much work I put into it.

SIL immediately jumped on it, saying how great of a baby shower present it would be for her. My boyfriend and I explained that we would be keeping it for our first child, but I stated I’d be more than happy to make her one when this one is done.

She flipped her lid and started screaming at my boyfriend that “he should be grateful J’s family took him from the dump” and that “he needs to get everything he can for them” because “he owes them.”

My boyfriend stood his ground in front of them but later cried to me saying that I should give them the quilt after I finish because they’ve done so much for him. He kept saying I could always make another one.

I refused. I’ve been working on this quilt for MONTHS. Cross stitching is really hard and hurts my hands when I do it too much, but it really helps with my anxiety. I’m also really attached to the blankets because it’s the first thing I’ve ever sewn, and I really want it to have family value. Now everyone in my bf’s family is making me out to be a horrible, selfish person.

AITA for not giving my boyfriend’s SIL the blanket? ######

Response: NTA damn she's entitled. So is your bf's family. They chose to adopt him, and now they demand things in return. Nope. Stand your ground, and support your bf  as he stands his ground against them too. ######