Prompt:
On Thanksgiving of 2018 my sister (34) and mother (58) mentioned to me (f21) “You know you’re going to have to take care of your nephew when we’re gone?” My nephew (15) has severe non verbal autism, mixed with some other disabilities I was never given the exact details on, and he will never be able to live on his own. As I’ve thought about it more as time passed, I realized that I really don’t want that responsibility put on me and my fiancé (f23) when we are older. We both suffer from some mental illnesses, and we both ultimately decided we wanted to be child free the rest of our lives. I know taking care of my nephew will compromise that since he will essentially just be a big kid.

I also do not feel comfortable being around my nephew because of an incident that happened back when I was in high school babysitting him alone. He tried to force me into bed with him. Luckily I was taller and older than him and I could scold him and tell him no, but the incident made me uncomfortable being around him alone. My mom pushed it off as him being hormonal and not knowing better because of his disabilities, but that didn’t make me feel any better. Now he is 6” compared to my height of 5’4” and is much stronger.

The problem is that whenever I’ve mentioned not wanting to take care him to my mom, (I have not mentioned it to my sister since then. Our relationship is strained and we don’t talk much outside of family gatherings.) she brushes it off by saying “You don’t have to worry about that yet.” And then changes the subject.

I do still care about my nephew but taking care of him would be too much for me and my fiancé who would be more so forced into it than me. I know it sounds selfish, but I don’t want to be responsible for him when I’m older but I feel like because I seem much more put together than the other candidates it’s being forced upon me.

So, WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA. It is up to your sister to make arrangements for the care of her son. She can't just assume that you would take care of him. ######


Prompt:
So I am an ex Muslim but My family, my mom, dad and sisters are Muslim and still follow Islam quite devoutly. When I was younger, my parents used to abuse me quite badly whenever I would complain about Ramadan and fasting and also for other reasons like if I neglected prayers or made mistakes during my Quran studies. When I was 16, I left the religion as I was appalled by many of the things in the religion as well as all the unnecessary restrictions and things you are forbidden to do.

As I grew older I also got into weightlifting and I developed a bit of temper and my parents stopped abusing me as much as they did because I started standing up for myself

This is the first Ramadan where I am not fasting and my parents are giving me the silent treatment, they’re obviously livid but they’re not saying anything. My sisters are saying that even though I don’t believe in the religion I should still fast and be respectful. But I want to stick to my guns and not fast as a way of but I have given some zakat (charity) though.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. It is ridiculous to expect you to adhere to a religion you don't believe in.

They are probably just salty that you can eat but they can't. ######


Prompt:
So my parents have been having issues for as long as I can remember, but the last few months it has gotten worse. Today my parents called me (F21) and my little brother downstairs to announce they're getting a divorce. My dad was adamant in saying "this is your mom's doing, I don't want this, all the hurt is on her", without ever reflecting on his own wrongdoings in this relationship.

I fully understand that he is hurt in this situation and that he doesn't want to hear from his own daughter that she agrees to a divorce- Basically agreeing to breaking up the family. I tried to explain that I rather see them happy separately and that a house filled with arguments and emotional manipulation isn't a good place for me and my little brother.

He interrupted me saying that he called me down to have his "semi-adult" daughter try to mend their relationship and support them in fixing their marriage- like a mediator. He stood up, pointed his finger in my face, and said: "I'm disappointed, disappointed, disappointed. Here you are siding with your mom to wreck this family.".

I know it wasn't the answer he wanted to hear, but how can he expect me to lie and side with him when I don't agree at all? I have tried in the past to help my parents out- my mom had compromised tremendously and my dad simply can't see what is so frustrating to my mom (the fact that he just can't see his inability to put himself into someone else's shoes and understanding people can have a different opinion without it making him the bad guy).

So, I suppose what I am wondering is: am I the asshole for having said what I said in a very polite way? I've been crying my eyes out for over an hour now. Just hearing my dad say I'm a disappointment so unapologetically really fucking hurts. ######

Response: NTA. It is never appropriate, no matter the age, to put children in the middle of a divorce. I do divorce work and it makes me want to pull my hair out when people do this. It is unfair and borderline cruel to the children and absolutley nothing good can come out of it, but a lot of damage can result. ######


Prompt:
Alright, here's the situation:

I am doing shit on my laptop, it needs updates and all that, since I just recently bought it and freshly installed Windows. I set the language on English despite German being my mother tongue.

So my sister comes by and she sees my new laptop. She wanted to see it so I gave it to her. Then she asks why I changed the language on English. I tell her that it's because it's easier to follow good tutorials written in English, and that I find it annoying to translate English to German to search for it.

She then went on to question why I had difficulty translating and I say sometimes translating isn't as easy as she thinks. I then went on with pretty shit examples, which she translated.

So I tried to justify me choosing English for some time, which only semi worked.

After that, she said I could always search those things in English even on a german machine, which she proved. She then said that I was probably only doing it to show off, which was when I got really angry.

I told her that it's because I like it on English and I questioned her why she had to be such a prick about it. I told her that I found the way she talked to me very condescending and mean. She then told me that I should calm down and that I should understand her position. She said that she knew my reasons were wrong and that she knew she was right. I should have said earlier that it's because of preference.

In her view I was kinda angry from the beginning, that's what she told me, and that I was getting unreasonably worked up.

I know this is pretty trivial and shit, and we're both over it as it happenwd some time ago. But sometimes I can't help but think who was the asshole.

So I wanted to ask AITA for being annoyed and angry at her after this, or is it her. ######

Response:
 NTA. It is literally none of her business what language your laptop is set on, and she's completely ridiculous for even bringing up the matter. And she's got a hell of a nerve telling you to "calm down" when she'd been attacking you over nothing.

Next time, skip the justifications and just tell her it's your laptop and you'll use it any way you like. ######


Prompt:
My GF of 5 years whom i love recently became hardcore vegan.  We live at my ranch out in the country on a few acres of land.  I own a flock of about 15 hens and a rooster as well.  I'm not a farmer or anything but these guys are my pets.  I am to emotionally attached to my hens to eat them but have no problem with eating other meat.

My girlfriend wants to get rid of them cause they give her PTSD and reminds her of how terrible chickens are treated elsehwere.  She also gets made at me for eating their eggs without their consent.  I agreed to get rid of them because I am a pushover but then changed my mind.  she said I was a liar and a backstabber and we are having a serious problem with this.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. It is kind of weird to put chickens in a place where they might be mistreated then keep them there and treat them well. She has some backwards thinking and I would dump her and keep the chickens. ######


Prompt:
 I'm 21f and I been with my boyfriend since freshman year of high school.  I love my boyfriend and I do see having children and a house. I don't like the idea of marriage. I told my boyfriend this many times. Two weeks ago he proposed in our apartment. I said no and we fought and I went in the guest room. We haven't spoken in two weeks.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. It is better to not get married if you don't want to. But don't understand your concept of having kids, house and a life partner but not marriage. Can you explain? ######


Prompt:
My mom was raised in Kashmir. Muslims took over the territory, burned down her house, killed her dad, and they fled to India in the middle of the night. My entire family hateeees Muslims because of this.

So they’re super islamophobic. But also my mom was once robbed by a black person, so she also uses that to say she hates black people.

She says it’s normal. She went through a trauma, and now because of past events she knows to avoid these groups of people.

Well, my friend was attacked by a Poodle. She know says she hates poodles, wants nothing to do with the breed, and now avoids them when she’s out about about.

My mom was like, “Eh, that’s unfair. Any dog can bite. Why hold a grudge against poodles, in general? Just hate the poodle that did the attacking.”

And I was like, “You’re joking, right? That’s so hypocritical. You talk about how you don’t like certain groups of people all the time. It’s the same logic. Why hold a grudge against a whole group of people? Just hate that person.”

She was like, “It’s not the same at all. Poodles aren’t any more likely to attack you than say a Golden Retriever. It’s about the individual.”

I was like, “???? Uh, same for black people. Muslim people. It’s about the individual.”

She was like, “How are you comparing races of people to dog breeds? Not the same. Shut up, you sound dumb.”

But it’s the same logic, right? Literally the same. You’re saying group X is bad, and I hate all of them because of a past experience.

So, who is right here? Is it hypocritical? Obviously my mom is an asshole for being racist, but I’m talking specifically in this argument, is she wrong?

On a side note, there are some dogs that are more dog-aggressive etc because they have been bred to be like that. But we aren’t talking about those breeds. A poodle isn’t anymore likely to attack someone than, like, a Lab or whatever. ######

Response: Nta. It is absolutely about the individual not the culture or race or breed. Its like saying I ate pancakes once and got an upset stomach but every other time I was fine but now I don't eat pancakes. Correlation does not equal causation ######


Prompt:
My husband (36) and I have two kids, my husband also has autism and so does my son (17) both relatively mild cases. My daughter and I do not share this mental disability with them.

Now I’m a nurse which means due to COVID I’ve had to be at  my workplace, my husband however could work at home. My children being  school aged were also obviously home. I noticed that after the first few weeks my daughter started receiving a lot more money from my husband, I noticed my son also giving money , and when restrictions were eased car rides in addition seemed available to my youngest.

I called In sick so I’m off two weeks, and I’ve noticed that when my daughter asks for things from my son or husband she’ll try to either hug them or raise her voice.
These are both sensory overloads for them and they’ll agree to anything to make it stop and avoid a meltdown, before they hate loud noises and uninitiated physical contact.

I know this because I admittedly have done this myself ONCE before when my husband didn’t want to go to the doctor So wrapped my arms around him for like half a minute  while I asked him to get in the car and let me take him to the doctor he agreed after he started to freak out.

So I confronted my daughter about this and she said she didn’t know what I was talking about, I asked her to explain to me how it’s okay for her to try to overwhelm like that and she started to get angry so she went to her room, I then went to my husband and say we should punish her after I explained the situation, he got mad and said there’s no way he’s being taken advantage of by a 14 yr old, I asked him if he was under duress when she asked for something from him and he refused to answer and went to our room and locked the door.

AITA for trying to punish my daughter for taking  advantage of my husband and son ? ######

Response: NTA. It is a good idea to teach your daughter at her age that manipulation is abusive. ######


Prompt:
My 14 year old niece loves to sing. She isn’t going to be the next America idol or anything, but she isn’t under the illusion that she is, she just has a lot of fun performing for the family and making videos on YouTube.

I’ve always encouraged her, (by watching and commenting on the videos, asking her to sing for us when I’m over, etc.) because it was a chance for her to be create and outgoing and have fun.

Lately her parents have been hounding me to stop encouraging her. They say it’s not a good use of her time if she isn’t going to take it seriously and since she doesn’t have the capacity to become any kind of great performer, that she should really be focusing her time on other things.

That’s their prerogative at home how they want to do it, but I didn’t feel right suddenly stopping asking her to sing for us or stopping interacting with her videos.

Her parents are now royally pissed at me and my brother says I’m an asshole for ignoring such specific instructions. Am I the asshole? Or do I just have a difference of opinion? ######

Response: NTA. It is *so* common nowadays that if a hobby can't be commercialized then there's no use pursuing it. That is TOTAL BS. Ask her to sing!! Interact with her videos!! She doesn't have to pursue it seriously for it to be fun and engaging, and neither does she have to be the next Taylor Swift. It's perfectly fine to be rather mediocre and still have fun doing the thing. ######


Prompt:
Before covid, still a problem.

My daughter (15F) barely misses school, she always goes. She's barely sick, she's very healthy, and she has excellent grades so I'm very lenient and free on whatever she does, and me and her go to the movies a lot when the report cards come out as celebration.

Anyway my husband works and he comes home at night sometines, sometimes early.

When I woke up my daughter that day , she said that she had this big headache and couldn't go. She's never made an excuse like that, and sometimes she has a runny nose or a small headache she still goes so I assumed this was bigger and let her stay home.

We had fun that day, watched movies etc.and after 3 hours she become better. My husband came early and freaked out and asked me why she was here that early, and said that just because she had a headache doesn't mean she can miss out on education and that she probably exaggerated the headache yada, yada.

Then he said that she doesn't get a free pass and we got into a small fight which was later resolved.

Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA. It doesn’t really matter if she was physically unwell or if there was an emotional reason behind her wanting to stay home. This was out of character, unusual and won’t affect her education - everyone needs a mental health day every so often.
  If you had ignored her then it might have meant that she wouldn’t come to you in the future when she was struggling so you built some trust with her. ######


Prompt: A few months ago I found a pair of Birkenstock’s at a thrift store. The exact style and size I wanted, perfect condition, for $17. I couldn’t believe it! I have been searching for some for years. I lent them to my sister so she could wear them to the beach yesterday. She comes in the house barefoot and I don’t think much of it, they’re probably in her car or bag. I ask her later that night for them as I was heading out and she realizes she forgot them at the beach. She said they started to hurt her feet so she opted to go barefoot and must have left them on accident. She goes back to check but they were no where to be found. I’m upset, of course, but she didn’t mean it on purpose. They’re shoes and can be replaced. These shoes are $100 new. I told her she could give me money, or she could buy a new pair herself. She said it wasn’t fair that I only paid $17 and she’d have to pay so much more. The ones she lost were real leather, and I wanted her to buy the vegan leather as a replacement, as I don’t buy new leather. This is already saving her 30 to 40 bucks. I told her I’d be fine with a second hand pair in good condition, and told her of a few websites were she could find some. Even those were around $50-60 dollars and she didn’t want to pay it. I loved those sandals and barely even got a chance to wear them because it was still cold when I found them. AITA for making her pay for new sandals? ######

Response: NTA. It doesn’t matter what you paid for them, she lost them and she needs to replace them whether she find some used ones in good condition or new. If you lost something of hers that she got on sale would she not expect you to replace it as well even if it was at full price? ######


Prompt:
My first wife had a group of best friends she was super close to. They were like sisters. One, we’ll call Faith, is the godmother to our oldest child. Sadly my first wife died due to complications with childbirth with our second child. The group of friends, Faith included, were there for me. This was 5 years ago.

3 years later, I met my current wife and we married this year. Through a lot of conversations, we finally decided it was time to answer my kids’ questions about how their mom died. In the past, I told them that she got sick and passed away, which is technically true. But I never went into details. They’re 5 & 7. I didn’t want my son blaming my daughter, I didn’t want my daughter to have any guilt. So, I finally decided to get them a therapist to talk about it. But with the pandemic, we have to wait a month.

The issue came up when Faith. She watches my kids. I told her our plan. She told me I should tell them, not a therapist. I said I’d rather have a professional’s help. Faith was really against it but I didn’t think much of it...until I came home from work and found out that she had told my kids. A child friendly version (“mommy got sick when having *daughter*”) but a version nonetheless. I was pissed.

I’ve banned her from the house and seeing the kids, while trying to help my kids emotionally process this. My wife is looking at nannies. The rest of the friend group says I overreacted, that Faith was just trying to help. I say it wasn’t her place. I told them if they keep it up, I’ll cut them all off. I’m so furious. My wife has told me that I’m starting to go too far.

Am I being an ass? ######

Response: NTA. It doesn’t matter if she thought what she was doing was right, she severely overstepped after you specifically told her how you wanted to handle it. She should never have been the one to tell them and it was a complete breech of trust. ######


Prompt:
So I'm going to be moving out of my toxic family's home later in may to a different city. My parents obviously responded poorly to my decision because they're both control freaks, and having me leave would mean they would no longer have any control over me. I made it clear that once I move I'm blocking them and cutting them off permanently.
Now today my mom decided that shes going to come to the city with me for two weeks when I move so she can "help" me.
I'm 18 and this woman still follows me to doctors appointments, the store, the gym, etc even though I ask her not to, and claims it's for "emotional suport" and shes "helping" me, even though she just creepily watches me for the most part. At doctors/dentists appointments she will talk over me, not letting me tell the doctor anything, and give all the wrong information. So I know that her "helping" is just a way of getting control over me under the guise of generosity.
Today I snapped and told her that I don't need her help, that I never asked for it, and her coming to the new place with me is just going to complicate things.
She responded by saying that I'm rude, a disrespectful and ungrateful child, saying that I never appreciate all the things that she does for me, and that she will never help me again.
AITA for not wanting her help?

Edit: You guys are right. There's a part of me that thinks that she genuinely wants to help but just doesn't know how, but reading over this thread made me realize that's not true. ######

Response: NTA. It doesn't sound like it was offered out of kindness and two weeks is entirely too long. She needs to let you grow up. ######


Prompt:
I've already posted here before but I'm going to post again because I had something else happen to me recently.

Background: I have a slight lisp that's easy to hear whenever I speak. Friends have pointed it out and joked about it but they know when to stop since I'm insecure about it. Often times, they'll repeat how I pronounced a certain phrase and say how it's unique and what not and that they enjoy picking out stuff I've said differently than them. I don't mind it.

Though, recently I was at a family member's house and they know how I can easily get upset whenever my lisp is pointed out. As I was talking to them, pronouncing words as best as I can, they kept on saying completely different words as if to point out that they couldn't understand me. I kept trying to say the same word over and over again (even though I knew I was saying it correctly) and yet, they still acted like I wasn't pronouncing it right.

Fed up, I had went back to room and heard them call after me, saying it was a joke.

To cut it short, the next morning they tried explaining to be that it wasn't nothing to get upset about and that they weren't doing anything wrong towards me. They explained that they were only joking and that I needed to suck it up and get a sense of humor. However, I tried to explain to them that it was something I was sensitive about and could only deal with so much before I become humiliated by my voice and that it was one of the things I had a problem with the most.

Am I the asshole for getting pissed off at a joke? Should I get a better sense of humor? They told me that I needed to act more mature about it and get over how I sounded but everytime I try, something like this happens and I don't have the confidence to do better.  ######

Response: Nta. It doesn't matter if someone meant something as a joke, if you hurt someone's feelings you apologize and do the do it again. ######


Prompt:
I (late 30s M) was visiting an old friend from High School and his wife. I should mention that at the time I had just finished a doctorate in Math -- this is relevant to the story. There were a number of people hanging out. Most of them I knew but my friend's wife's friend Janice ( late 40's F) and her daughter Ellie (maybe 19 F) who i didn't know , were also there. My friend's wife introduced us: "Throwaway, this is my friend Janice and her daughter Ellie. Janice and Ellie this is our friend Throwaway. Throwaway just became a Doctor." Ellie ( the daughter) said "Are you single? I think that I would make an excellent trophy wife." I gave a big dramatic sigh and said "Sadly I'm not the kind of Doctor that gets to marry pretty young things. I'm the kind that teaches calculus to nerds. " Everyone laughed, we chatted a bit and I wandered off to play pool with the guys.

Now the mom and my friends wife seemed fine with what I said but i got a bunch of flak later from a couple of people (who were not even part of the original conversation) who said that it was "gross" that i was " flirting with someone half my age." I thought that this was a ridiculous way to characterize the whole interaction. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. It actually seems like you jokingly shut down her flirty advances and moved on. You hardly preyed on her. ######


Prompt:
On Thanksgiving of 2018 my sister (34) and mother (58) mentioned to me (f21) “You know you’re going to have to take care of your nephew when we’re gone?” My nephew (15) has severe non verbal autism, mixed with some other disabilities I was never given the exact details on, and he will never be able to live on his own. As I’ve thought about it more as time passed, I realized that I really don’t want that responsibility put on me and my fiancé (f23) when we are older. We both suffer from some mental illnesses, and we both ultimately decided we wanted to be child free the rest of our lives. I know taking care of my nephew will compromise that since he will essentially just be a big kid.

I also do not feel comfortable being around my nephew because of an incident that happened back when I was in high school babysitting him alone. He tried to force me into bed with him. Luckily I was taller and older than him and I could scold him and tell him no, but the incident made me uncomfortable being around him alone. My mom pushed it off as him being hormonal and not knowing better because of his disabilities, but that didn’t make me feel any better. Now he is 6” compared to my height of 5’4” and is much stronger.

The problem is that whenever I’ve mentioned not wanting to take care him to my mom, (I have not mentioned it to my sister since then. Our relationship is strained and we don’t talk much outside of family gatherings.) she brushes it off by saying “You don’t have to worry about that yet.” And then changes the subject.

I do still care about my nephew but taking care of him would be too much for me and my fiancé who would be more so forced into it than me. I know it sounds selfish, but I don’t want to be responsible for him when I’m older but I feel like because I seem much more put together than the other candidates it’s being forced upon me.

So, WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA. It absolutely isn’t your responsibility to take care of your nephew at any point in his or your life. There are group home situations for this exact reason. Sounds like your sister needs to start looking into alternate housing for your nephew just in case. ######


Prompt:
Still using this account to ask advice I don't want my primary account to see.

I have a cousin who is a very 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' and 'gumption' kind of guy (despite the fact his parents are well off and he currently works at my uncle's company).

Well my cousin was ranting and raving on facebook about all the people filing for unemployment right now and how they're all just 'welfare queens' trying to game the system. Well I know he received a stimulus check and immediately spent it on a 4X4 because he posted pictures after he did it.

So I responded to his Facebook post by asking when he would be returning his government hand out as he obviously didn't need it. Well my Aunt didn't like that so I was immediately called and told to remove my comment and when I told her no she yelled at me.

Idk times are weird and I'm growing to give less of a flying F**k what do you think AITA? Did I go too far in calling out my cousin? ######

Response:
 NTA. Is your cousin an actual child?

I’d probably wage war on their facebooks now, but you know...stuff that can be explained away and will only drive *them* insane HA. ######


Prompt:
Some backstory:
     So last November I (18F) moved in with my now ex-boyfriend (22M) to an apartment with 2 other people. These two people are married and we were friends with before moving in together. The husband (20M), we'll call him John, is in the military and his wife (20F), we'll call her Abby, worked part time at some store.
    Recently John came back from a deployment and immediately upon him getting home she got pregnant. Now since she's been pregnant the chores that need to be done around the house haven't been getting down (dishes, trash, etc.). Now we don't take turns doing these chores but previously we had a talk and its a general rule that you wash your own dishes and if you see the trash needs to be taken out just take it out. But about a week and a half go John and Abby decided to cook and left their dishes in the sink, which is no biggy, but by the 3rd day they were in the sink I confronted John while he was sitting in the kitchen and asked if he was going to clean up the dishes.
    He responded with "well Abby and I have both cleaned up the kitchen by ourselves why don't you."
   I said "well they're not my dishes, why doesn't Abby just wash them"
    He drops in the excuse that she's pregnant and doesn't want her doing a whole lot (which I understand) so I just left it alone. And my ex ended washing the dishes later that day because they had piled up and it was getting annoying.
   Now this isn't the only situation that this has been an issue. But I told my ex that I'll be moving out because I don't feel respected and he says I'm in the wrong. ######

Response:
 NTA. Is John one of those guys who says "We're pregnant"? Because he needs to realise that's not a get-out-of-chores-free card for both of them, or even for one of them.

If his wife did have to have rest on medical grounds, he should be picking up the slack, not the rest of you. ######


Prompt:
So yesterday my gf and i went to the beach with her friend.
My gf is southern european (italian) and her friend is Northern European(Danish),when we arrived at the beach her friend offered her sunscreen ,my gf refused her offer and she said”i am italian i can handle the sun”,my gf has VERY pale skin that burns easily under the sun yet she tried to impress everyone by being “a badass who’s immune to sunburn” and of course she burned.
When i saw how red her face was i started laughing hysterically and i said “Being southern European doesnt make you immune to sunburn,play stupid games win stupid prizes”
Now some of our friends say that i am a huge asshole for laughing at her,i disagree.
She is super mad and she won’t talk to me ,so reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Is it the nicest thing to laugh? No. Is it entirely her own fault it happened even when offered sunscreen? Yes. Am I also laughing? Absolutely.
I’m half black and even I still wear sunscreen *every day*. (Or at least every day I’m outside for more than ten minutes.) ######


Prompt:
My sister and I share a bathroom. The bathroom has two towel hangers.

Recently my sisters towel hanger  broke off and now it needs to be completely replaced. She absolutely refuses to go and buy a replacement and install it.

Instead she has just been using my towel hanger. She will slide mine over so hers can fit too. Which I find gross. It’s been annoying the fuck out of me. So each time she does it I take her towel and put it in her laundry basket.

Now she has started to do the same thing with my towel even though it’s my towel hanger.

Im tired of going into the bathroom only to find my towel in the laundry basket all gross and damp, so today I went and just removed my whole towel rack and hid it. I got some hooks for the back of my bedroom door to use instead.

She got pissed off and came barging into my room to ask why happened to it.

I just said it was gone.

She asked what I meant and what happened to it.

I said I would put it back when she fixed her.

She said I was being childish and if I just shared mine it wouldn’t even be an issue. ######

Response: NTA. Is it petty? Yes. It's it a good idea in this situation? Also yes. ######


Prompt:
I'm furloughed today and my mom is visiting, so I kept our 11 month old home from daycare. My husband is unemployed, but studying for a test. He said not to expect help with the kid since he is studying. I said ok and was watching the baby while waiting for his grandmother to come over. My mom asked me to look at some old videos of me, so I had them playing. The kid was being loud. Suddenly, my husband comes out of the office and asks "how would you feel if the daycare workers watched videos while they're supposed to be caring for our son?"

I got angry and defensive. I told him if he was removing himself from watching the kid, he can't complain how I'm doing it. Plus, it's insulting to suggest I'm not caring for my son "good enough". Kids make noise and I'm not going to punish him for being a kid. I also pointed out it's insulting to daycare workers to suggest anyone can do their job.

So am I being a bad mother and getting mad at him for pointing it out or are his expectations out of line? ######

Response: NTA. Is he suggesting that you interact with the child his every waking moment? Because that's how you get kids who can't play alone or play imaginatively or experience boredom. ######


Prompt: Hey guys! I F(21) have a very strained relationship with my father. Last year I walked in on him having an affair in our home. Prior to that he had been unfaithful to my mom on some other occasions (3 times total). After the incident during my freshman year of high school I made it clear to him if he did it again, he’d be dead to me. He did it again, and I made the decision to cut him out of my life. My mom had different plans though, she let him move back in after barely a month and started to bug me to talk to my dad again. This included inviting him on vacations, over for holidays, when I came back from university. In summary I stopped coming back home altogether. However because of covid I had to move back home, because the dorms shut down. My dad’s living at home too, and I’ve been struggling with it. My mom thinks because she forgave him, and the infidelity was in their relationship, I should move on. So she asks me to do things involving my dad, like text him, or call him, or help her buy him things, but I refuse because I am still uncomfortable with the situation. She tells me I’m using my discomfort as an excuse to be lazy, and that I’m ungrateful. Her forcing our relationship put a huge strain on her and my relationship and I’m having a lot of trouble staying home. I even got a full time job, just so I have an excuse to be out of the house for 40-50 hours a week. Am I being the asshole for not forgiving my dad about the affair, even though my mom did? ######

Response: NTA. Infidelity hurts the whole family and it sounds like your mother is unsure of how to cope. He broke his promise and you held yours. ######


Prompt:
Pretty simple story.

I recently bought condoms with my face. Not exactly bought, but a friend gave me a gift card to this website. I just went to a website, submitted a photo, and voila. In 3 months I got a package of around 1000 condoms.

I didn’t know what to do with that many condoms. So, I just gave a lot of them to my friends. It doesn’t show my face in the package, so it’ll be a pleasant surprise.

When I told my fiancée about it, she got really mad. She said that it’s akin to cheating. We did talk over it, and we both apologized.

I just want to know, if I was truly in the wrong.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. In what way would that be considered cheating? ######


Prompt:
My bf and I have been together for about 6 years and we've had issues with his mom and stepdad( his stepdad hasn't done anything particularly harsh he's just there ). I for the first 4 years assumed she hated me. I would be invited to things only to be never picked up by my bf or his mom would do weird stuff like try to set him up with her friend's kids. Bf always told me she didn't hate me and that I was just exaggerating.  I had even tried to ask her about her behavior toward the beginning of the relationship and she told me she'd get my bf to break up with me ( we were still in high school at the time).

Eventually it came out that no she didn't hate me but she thought I was an entitled bitch because I was at family events when I wasn't wanted. It came out that my bf never really asked if I was welcome and just would say he was going to bring me. She assumed that I was controlling him and that was her reasoning to act the way she did. Since then I have made myself scarce and don't show up to her events but I show up to his dad and stepmom's gatherings instead. When bf came clean to his parents I told him to ask his mom or stepdad to contact me if they would like me there. This is the general conflict my bf and I have had for the past year and some change. bf has not told them what I asked.

bf told me that I should trust in him telling me when I'm invited and he's been telling his parents that an accident I was in was the reason why I wasn't coming over. it is partially true. His brother spilled the beans that I've been visiting his dad and stepmom and his mom has been upset over this. I told bf that I want it to be clear that i'm wanted or not. He says that it would ruin his reputation with his family and he doesn't want that.

AITA for asking him to ask his parents to message me themselves when they want me around? ######

Response: NTA. In the past your boyfriend was inconsiderate both to you and to his family, and instead of coming clean he is letting you take the heat to "protect his reputation" with his family, whatever that means. What about his reputation with you? I can't fault you for wanting clarity from his mom lest you get wrongly flamed again. ######


Prompt:
Hi all!

My wife and me just found out we are going to have a baby, we have tried several times.

The thing is, my wife is a weed addict, she smokes 7 days a week the whole day and I told her that if she smoked weed while pregnant I would leave the house.

This was because last pregnancy I found she smoked weed several times through the pregnancy.

I'm surprised she's so addicted to it that the next days she smoked weed, this has been 4 days after I told her that I would leave if she smoked.

I demanded her to give me her weed or i'll leave, which she did, the problem is next day she asked me for it, but I dumped it all on the trash, so she got mad and stopped talking to me, and she actually went to buy more to her dealer.

She returned and smoked weed in the house 2 times that day, not giving a fuck about me and my child.

What should I do? I have tried to talk to her several times, telling her that I would not leave because she is obviously addicted and she needs help, and that she could talk to me anytime she had the urge to smoke or we could find professional help, but she got sad and mad and started crying and changing topics and leave, she's blaming this on me, when I'm just telling her that it was her choice to keep smoking weed or to care for our baby.

Nonetheless even if im being calm and trying to help her IM FUCKING MAD inside because thats my fucking son inside there and I DO want to leave her sometimes because this weed issue has been going through all our marriage, I was fine when she smoked 1 day or two, but the whole week at all times? Im fucking sick of it, but i love her and when she's not all smoked up I like to hang out with her.

AITA for leaving my house? and leaving her? obviously i would take care financially and lovingly of my son when she delivers. I just don't want to be married someone that prefers drugs than her son wellness and his husband ######

Response: NTA. In terms of what you should do, I mean, my first piece of advice is to stop getting her pregnant. Second bit of advice would be to document her caution-to-the-wind, I-don’t-give-a-fuck-about-my-child attitude and prepare for life as a single father. She clearly is in no place to be responsible for a baby if she can’t do something as simple as quit smoking weed. ######


Prompt:
My ex is a B-list reality TV personality. Obviously there is no respectable middle-aged woman who does reality TV. But I cut her slack because it's all fake and she is playing a character that people believe is real. I never had an issue but over the last few years, she's been more outrageous. Showing more skin, more drama, fake fights, etc. That's what she has to do to stay relevant.

Our sons are 9 and 12 and are becoming more aware and ashamed of her even though it's a "character." She was offered a lot of money to do a show about her and her personal life. This includes having our kids on camera. It would be all fake with scripts and prompting.

My kids have mixed feelings between faking scenes but being paid. I asked my ex what scenes they thought about doing and it was stupid shit like my youngest fake falling off his bike and she rushes over to comfort him to my 12yo checking out his "babysitter" who is actually an actress.

I told her I was comfortable with that and I would not sign a release to let them appear on the shoe. That means she doesn't get a show. That means no seven figure payday. She is livid at me and has very crying all day. ######

Response: NTA. In my personal opinion children shouldn't be on reality TV. There are a lot of stories of child stars gone bad. Not to mention your kids dont seem interested besides getting paid. She needs to respect your decision as the other parent and find another gig. ######


Prompt:
I admit, there's not much drama surrounding this, but I could use a judgement regardless. Throw away for privacy reasons.

Husband and I just happily found out we're pregnant, very much a wanted child but the timing could definitely be better given the current world crises. Anyways, everyone around us is overjoyed, this is the first and only grandchild on my side of the family. Spouse long thought he was unable to have kids and had given up hope. Yay.

Moving on. The response to this kid has been fucking overwhelming. Oh. My. God. People are coming out of the woodwork to congratulate us, offer advice, opinions, life hacks, used clothing and baby items.

I love that this kid is so loved, it's amazing to be so supported but she's not even here yet and I'm so overwhelmed by how much the pregnancy/ childbirth/ kid having process is consuming my day to day life.

I just dont want to talk about it any more. I dont want to talk about my nipples. I dont want to talk about names. Or strechmarks or fucking clothes and diapers. So anytime someone brings it up, I just shrug it off or troll them with nonsense answers. Like telling them we're gonna name her Chalupa Batman, or Xena or some shit like that. Get her a baby hyena and raise them together.

People are starting to notice, and I'm getting remarks. People, namely the women in my familial circle, are having hurt feelings, telling me I'm sucking the fun out of this for them. That I need to take it seriously, stop being so rude, people are just trying to help, that I'm a Debbie Downer, ect. Mom gave me a lecture about how when you're pregnant, it's not about you anymore. That it takes a village to raise a child and that im ruining this for everyone else involved and acting like a moody teenager.

Truth is, I would kill to talk about anything else right now. The mating habits of San Salvadorian Marching Ants. Anything but this pregnancy.  I don't want to be defined by it

So, judgement time, am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Imagine being so selfish that you complain about the fun being sucked out of *someone else's* pregnancy! Humanity achieves new heights everyday! ######


Prompt:
This happened a few months ago but I recently told this story to my roommate who thinks I overreacted.

I'd ordered food from an app and the driver called me to ask for my address. I had him on call for a bit because he seemed kinda clueless and it took him a while to find my building, but the conversation never went anywhere personal. I just gave him directions ,thanked him for the food and hung up. Didnt even get the guys name or anything.

Few hours later I opened my whatsapp and saw that an unknown number had sent me a ton of voice messages. I listened to them and recognised the guys voice. Tbh, there was nothing objectively weird in it, he just talked about how nice of a person I seemed and how he'd like to keep in touch and it wasnt a big deal if I wasnt into it but it still creeped me out. I'm a female living with a female roommate and this guy knowing my address made me pretty uncomfortable. I reported him to the app and they said they would deal with it so I blocked him and let it go. A couple of weeks later the same guy messaged me from another number and I blocked his ass like lightning but I was pretty stressed at that time so I didn't really focus on doing anything about it.

My roommate and I were chatting yesterday and I brought the story up, thinking I was in the right for dealing with him, but she thinks that it was an AH move. In my country ( and I guess in most countries) this guy was probably a min wage worker and he'd mentioned in one of the voice messages that he had kids so me reporting him could have caused him problems. According to her, he wasnt pushy and just sounded lonely and naive so I should have just blocked him and let it be. We also live in a gated building and the guy just dropped off the food with security and never saw my face so I shouldn't have 'panicked'.

I think I was justified in being concerned for my safety, but I feel bad for getting someone into so much trouble if it was innocent. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. im incredibly pro-worker, but messaging someone you delivered to is so incredibly inappropriate and unprofessional. if he didnt want to get fired, it wouldve been the easiest thing in the world for him to *not* message you and just go about his day ######


Prompt:
Recently I have been playing a well known mobile game that, among many other things, allows you to befriend other characters in the game and even marry one of them. This game is played entirely offline - i.e. these are not other people or players that you interact with, just non-playable characters within the game.

Well, when I mentioned this to my spouse, they were quite upset about it - think yelling at me, threatening to take my phone away from me if I continue to play it, telling me that I "should have known" that this would upset them (I did not know this, I swear!), etc. No matter how I tried to explain that it's just a game, it's a non-playable character (not another online player), etc., they were quite adamant - I am not to be playing this game anymore.

The thing is... this game is quite relaxing, as it allows a lot of freedom in what you can do - farming, exploring forests, caves, deserts, and other environments, fishing, etc. With everything that's going on in the world right now, it's nice to have a quiet little game that I can spend a little while playing on my own sometimes. And I should add that it's not like I'm ignoring my spouse to play this game (we spend lots of time together), or playing it to excess (I play it exclusively during downtime like when I'm putting the kids to bed, waiting in a long line, or finishing my coffee when I'm the first one up in the morning).

So I'm still playing the game during those times, but just not telling them about it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If your spouse isn't ok with you "marrying" an NPC, they are  very insecure and unstable. Start saving money for therapy OP. ######


Prompt:
I know the title sounds bad but please hear me out.

I (55m)have two kids, Ana (30f) and Alex (27m). Their mom isn't in the pictue. I have a relatively high earning job so I was able to save up for both of them to go to college which amounted to about $100k each kid.

The thing is, Ana got a full scholarship for college where both her tuition fees and living expenses were paid for but I had to pay for my son's education and living expenses with the money I saved up.

Both my children knew I had $100k for their college education but since my daughter got a full ride, I told her I'd hold on to it until she either wants to use it for her wedding or a downpayment for a house.

So last week Ana asked for the money to buy a house and I gladly gave it to her but a few days later I got an angry call from Alex accusing me of favoritism and how I'm being unfair. I explained to him that I just gave her the college fund I was saving up for her, which was the same amount as what I've given him for college. He still thinks I should've split the money evenly so it would be more fair. I have no idea how he knew about it but I think my wife (their stepmom) told him.

Ana has since told me that her brother has been calling her every now and then demanding for his half of the money. So both my kids are fighting now.

My wife told me that I'm being a bit unfair and that the money is tearing the family apart. I told her that it was always Ana's money and I already gave Alex his share to pay for his college expenses.

Both kids are college educated with good jobs so it's not like Alex desperately needs the money.

So reddit... AITA? I think that splitting the money would've been very unfair to Ana, who worked hard to get her scholarship but what do you guys think?

Edit: I spent a bit over $100k on Alex's education cause not only did I pay for his tuition fees but I also paid for his rent, bills, food, and everything in between. ######

Response:
 NTA. If your son graduated with no debt, and you paid for all living expenses,  then he got his $100K.

Perhaps add it up, and show him what he got.

You basically just delayed payment of your daughters college fund, and payed out in a lump sum, since she got  full ride. ######


Prompt:
So my area reopened beaches and I have been going everyday for the last two weeks to go surfing.

Before anyone goes on about me not social distancing know that the beach I am going to is not at all crowded and I can stay a good 50-60ft away from other people.

Apparently it’s bothering my sister though as she is unable to go to the beach at all and she used to love going to the beach.

My sister got into a car accident last year and mostly uses a wheelchair to get around. She can walk a few yards on even surfaces, but that’s it.

My mom says I shouldn’t go so much because it’s upsetting my sister to see me coming home from the beach each day, but if I don’t I’m basically stuck in this tiny, hot ass apartment all day (no air conditioning) and Its sounds bad, but I don’t feel like her mistakes should mean I have to suffer. ######

Response:
 NTA. If your sister had been blinded, would you have been asked to not look at things?

I'm sure it's tough, but she can't expect others to just not do thing they enjoy. ######


Prompt:
I was babysitting my 7yo nephew and he wanted to paint. His parents bought him an easel and paint. All I was ever told was the painting had to be outside. We went outside and his easel and supplies were on the hardscape and not the grass, I figured that's where he painted.

Of course he got some paint on the hardscape, but I assumed it could rinsed off. I was wrong. My sister had a fit and asked me why I let him paint on the hardscape. I told her the easel was on the hardscape and assumed that's where my nephew does his art. She said it was always on the grass and maybe their gardener moved it to cut their grass.

She ended up paying someone $70 to clean of the paint and then handed me the bill to pay. I told her that she had a nerve especially when I was sitting him for free. ######

Response: NTA. If your sister bought your nephew paints that don’t easily clean. That’s her problem, not yours. ######


Prompt:
There's really not a whole lot of back story here. She's 39 weeks pregnant and keeps begging me to have sex because she thinks it'll help her go into labor. I've been denying her advances for the last month or so because I just don't have a drive to do anything. It's been hard on me because I feel like I’m upsetting her and I also don't quite understand why my drive left. I don't want her to feel like she's ugly or fat, but I don't feel like I should force myself to do something like that.

&#x200B;

Anyway she's really upset with me because I told her today I can't handle her constantly asking me to do it or making jokes about how I won't. It's torture to me to constantly be reminded about this internal conflict I've been having regarding the subject. I know it's my fault that I didn't tell her sooner but this sort of reaction is exactly what I was afraid of. On the outside when she makes jokes or requests she sees me respond with a complementary laugh/smile or a polite no.

&#x200B;

She's upset with me for what seems like her assumption that I'm saying she's ugly/fat now even though I told her specifically that's not true nor is it why. I know from a "should you ever have sex if you don't want to" standpoint the answer is that I'm in the right. But am I an asshole for not wanting to have sex with her right now? Should I have just kept it to myself and not told her to stop? ######

Response: NTA. If your sex drive dropped out of nowhere, you need to see your doctor. If you guys were regularly having sex up until a month ago and suddenly the drive is gone, that could be indicative of a serious problem. Tell your wife that despite finding her incredibly attractive, you are not interested in having sex. Her feelings will be hurt. But you have every right to say no. But definitely get yourself checked out. ######


Prompt: So I have a large collection of books that I often reread. I love them all very much. My favourite series is noughts and crosses books. My parents often make me lend books to people I barely know and sometimes the people take ages to return it and if they do, its often a bit damaged. The other day my parents asked me to lend the noughts and crosses to someone (we’ll call this someone J). J is quite nice but she has a brother who likes to play football with almost any object in their house, and I was not going to let him do that to my book. I said No. My parents totally blew up at me. They said I was selfish. I told them I wasn’t going to lend my favourite book series to someone else because I love them and I don’t trust other people with them. My parents are now angry at me and I’m angry at them, but I’m starting to think that maybe I was being a bit selfish. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If your parents want to lend books to random people all willy nilly then they need to acquire their own copies of said books to lend out. You're under no obligation to share your possessions with persons you hardly know, especially knowing those things are likely to come back damaged. ######


Prompt:
I'm (21M) quarantining with my university flatmates. 3 girls (all 20F) and 2 other guys (20M, 21M).

One of the guys, we'll call Sam (21M) looks like the typical "neckbeard". He's largely overweight, wears anime T-Shirts, unkempt facial hair and has spots

However, he only *looks* like the stereotype. He's not creepy or holier than thou. I've spent time with him and been to many parties with him, he just suffers from sometimes severe social anxiety and low self esteem.

Well, he went back home for something and I was in the kitchen with the rest of the flatmates.

One of the girls, we'll call Amy, immediately began roasting Sam by saying "I'm so glad that ugly neckbeard is gone" and how she doesn't have to look at him anymore.

Honestly, I immediately felt disgusted. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from or how they look like. I was once treated like that and it isn't nice.

I immediately snapped at Amy and said "You're bullying him, and that's not cool". She looked at me shocked I confronted her and things went quiet.

Later my other male flatmate Henry said i was an asshole for interrupting Amy and that she was "only joking around and having fun". I told him tht he's complicit and should be ashamed. But I do wonder whether I was an AH for embarrassing her. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If your idea of "fun" is putting down other people behind their backs, there is a 10/10 chance that you suck ass. You did the right thing my dude. ######


Prompt:
My stepdaughter (24) is moving in with her Bf this weekend and when she asked for help moving, I said nothing about it being my birthday because let’s be real- there’s a pandemic and I’m not going to go out and party or anything. But we would have to get up super early and drive three hours to help her move and then three hours back. Her BF and his father live in that town and are going to help. My husband is going to help, which I have no problem with. Her bio mom isn’t going, so I feel less pressure.
However, my husband keeps asking me to go when I really don’t want to have to wake up early, drive three hours, move stuff in the heat, and then drive home another three hours. On my birthday. I just want to sleep in and relax. I have not asked for anything for my birthday, it’s 41 so no big deal. My birthday last year was a complete sh!tshow and I actually had to remind my husband that he had a gift for me AFTER the date had passed.
Am I the asshole for just wanting to sleep in and not have to spend six hours in the car AND moving her? I get that my husband wants to spend time with me on my birthday but I’d rather  stay home and be lazy. I feel like the asshole.
Also just extra info: I’ve gone above and beyond for the step kids over the years and have great relationships with them. But I feel under appreciated at times which makes me feel less pressure to go help her move again. ######

Response: NTA. If your husband keeps pressuring you for it, gently remind him that you’d much rather have some time for yourself on your birthday rather than move stuff. But the way he keeps pressuring makes me wonder if he has something planned? ######


Prompt:
Ok...so, my girl and I are sitting on the couch watching some TV. She's on her phone wearing yoga pants and a Tshirt, basically laying on her stomach with her ass right next to me and her legs across my lap. I'm playing my Switch chilling.

Then suddenly she lets rip a massive ass clapping fart, and it smells fucking rotten. I naturally react without even thinking and say, "Goddamn!" and put my hand to my face and get up to go smoke a cigarette. Now, it wasn't my intention to hurt her feelings, but she clearly felt self-conscience and said her feelings were hurt. I apologized, but she says I should have just ignored it. Now, we have been together for a while, and yes we fart in front of each other and even laugh about it. But she basically farted right into my face full force and I just reacted. She thinks I'm a complete asshole, I apologized but said you know maybe don't shoot a fart right into my fucking mouth next time.

I got nothing against farts, but goddamn I did my best not to be a complete dick about it, and going out for a smoke seemed the best choice at the moment to let the air clear.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If your girlfriend is self-conscious about how you react to her farting in your face, then maybe she shouldn't fart in your face. Totally gross. ######


Prompt: I'll start by explaining the situation, my mother is a health nut who also happens to have celiac disease. I don't have celiac disease and don't currently follow the diet. My mother insists on me following it even though gluten free food is more expensive and tastes bland in comparison. Her reasoning is that apparently gluten gives people diabetes, which I know is complete BS. I'll also note that I'm not making her spend extra money on non gluten free food, as my father doesn't have celiac disease either. It doesn't affect her at all for me not to follow the gluten free diet. I'm pretty certain I'm in the right here, but would like another perspective. ######

Response: NTA. If your dad can safely prepare non-gf foods without it affecting your mom, and you don’t have a gluten intolerance, there’s no reason for you to eat gluten-free. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend and I, both 24, have been together ten years now. He’s my best friend and I love him. Since the beginning of our relationship I’ve explicitly said I do not want kids, and he’s always gone along with it. I practically brought up my siblings due to my mum being a drug addict, and don’t want kids myself.

A few nights ago we were at his parents house, his dad said something like “when you two have kids...” and I looked at him expecting him to say something but he didn’t. I brought it up when we got home and he asked if I’d be ready to start trying. I was quite simply baffled as this is a conversation we’ve had many times before. Like many times. He said that he assumed I’d just change my mind and that he really wants kids. I refused and said if he wants kids he can get them elsewhere.

We’ve been arguing about it constantly, and his parents have managed to worm their way into it and saying I’m an awful person for leading my boyfriend to believe we’d have children, when I’ve been doing the opposite our entire relationship. I love kids, and if I happened to fall pregnant I would love the baby with everything in me, but I’ve told him from the beginning that planning a baby isn’t something I want. My parents even seem to be on his side. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If you’ve been explicitly clear this whole time, then he’s been lying to you when he’s gone along with it. I’d bet that he’s also told his parents a different story, given their reaction. He’s been telling himself that when you say “never,” you mean “not right now.” ######


Prompt:
My roommate (22F) and I (20M) have been roommates for about six months. One of the things that was agreed upon when I moved in with her was that I don’t want anyone else, including her, in my room. I grew up in a household where my privacy wasn’t respected, and I would routinely get home to my parents tearing through my room without me in there and without my permission. It still gives me anxiety.

My roommate is usually good about honoring my request. However, lately she’s been making a fuss about the request. My roommate’s parents were super good about honoring her privacy, and she’s super open about her space. Lately, she’s been making small comments like, “why do you care who’s in your room if you have nothing to hide?” and “well what if I need something from your room?” And when she does this, I always tell her that it’s not about having anything to hide, it’s that it gives me a lot of anxiety, but she doesn’t seem to get it.

A couple days ago, I got home from work to find my roommate in my room. When I confronted her about it, she said she was quickly dropping my laundry onto my bed. I told her that she should have just left it on the couch until I got home, and that she didn’t need to go into my room. I usually do the laundry, but because my roommate got laid off from her job and I didn’t, she started doing it, so after confronting her I brushed off the incident as a one time thing.

Yesterday though I found her in my room again, this time because she needed to borrow my charger. I told her again that I didn’t want her in my room. I was trying to keep calm but I’ll admit I was very agitated. She said I was overreacting and that it wasn’t a big deal and I should just suck it up. And today she was giving me the silent treatment, so I’m genuinely wondering if I overreacted. ######

Response:
 NTA. If you’ve actually caught her twice she’s probably been in more times than that unfortunately. Living with roommates, your bedroom is your only truly private space.

I agree with other posters about installing a real lock either through a locksmith or buying the external hardware for a padlock and doing it yourself. She will probably take this as extreme or you hiding something, but you’ve already explained your preference on this and didn’t owe her that to begin with ######


Prompt: I can’t exactly remember how it got to this but my mom and I were talking about the house were living in and she said “And then when you move out I can come live with you” and I said “Oh I don’t really want you to live with me” and she got mad and was like “Do you not care about me and want to take care of me?” And like yeah I do care about her I just don’t want to have her live with me when I have my own house. It’s MY own house. She was talking about how she can’t do her job forever. She’s a 51 year old fitness trainer. Her knees are fucked up and she’s not gonna be able to do it for long and she knows that. She said “I’m not gonna get a new job once I can’t do this one. Are you not gonna take care of me?” I see it as her fault for choosing that as her only job or whatever. Anyways yeah that’s all I gotta say ######

Response:
 NTA. If you’re close to moving out, there’s a reason she didn’t bring this up until now. She knew she would have been shut down and that she’d have to figure out other arrangements. If you’re younger, she’s unfairly trying to pressure you into a commitment you’re not remotely prepared for. Either way, she’s banking on your familial guilt to bankroll her retirement. I feel for her, but she should have been planning for this long ago.

I know this varies in different cultures, but that’s my take based on what’s here. ######


Prompt: He was in a zoom meeting and wanted his wine refilled. I was busy doing things on my computer as well, so he just snapped his fingers at me as if I was a waitress and pointed at his wine glass. Like I get he couldn't talk in his meeting but he couldn't have just muted his mic for a second to ask me to get some more wine for him? I'm not an animal. He doesn't understand why I'm upset about this. ######

Response: NTA. If you’re able to DRINK on a call, it can’t be too important that you can’t take the few seconds to mute it. ######


Prompt:
(I'm not a story teller like some here, so sorry if this is disorganized or boring.)

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Hello Reddit. Tomorrow is my (f/28) birthday. I wasn't planning on doing anything this year because it's my first sober birthday (I quit drinking 9 months ago) and I try to avoid parties since everyone usually drinks at them.

Last week I was asked by friend A (f/31) if I'd like to go for a small dinner and I said yes. A asked where I wanted to go and I suggested somewhere that serves hot pot. I have never tried it and figured my birthday dinner would be a good time.

A came back to me the next day and said we can't do hot pot because friend B (f/30) doesn't like Korean food.

"Uhmm, okay how about sushi?"

Well you guessed it, now friend C (f/34) doesn't like sushi.

This has evolved in to me trying to find a place everyone will enjoy and wanting to cancel the whole thing because all it has done is stressed me out and made me feel bad for not knowing who doesn't like what. I told A this, and she said it would be an asshole move because everyone is getting together for me.

Today B pushed for us to go to a pub, and everyone immediately was in agreeance.

I snapped a bit. I told the group that I refuse to let my birthday be an excuse for them to get drunk at a bar. If this dinner really was *for me* they'd have been fine with my original suggestion and if they can't support my sobriety then they aren't friends at all.

I am currently getting text messages saying I flew off the handle, that I need to grow up and not be such an asshole when they were just trying to do a nice thing for me. C even said that they shouldn't be punished because I can't handle my liquor.

So yeah, dinner is cancelled and so are those friendships. Now that I've cooled down a bit though, I am wondering if I was being an asshole...

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Edit: Post has been live less than 10 minutes and you guys have already shown me I made the right call. Thank you so much. ######

Response:
 NTA. If you're within a year of sobriety and your friends are aware of that, they're not friends if they want you to go to a pub for your birthday. Your sobriety is way more important than their preferences in food. And regardless of the sobriety, your birthday is about you. You get to decide where and when you want to celebrate and if your choice is to not celebrate, that's the right choice.

To give you an example of how good friends react to something like this: it's my birthday next weekend and I asked my roommates if they would come to my mom's house with me. All I had to offer was home cooked food and animals to pet. They immediately agreed because it's what will make my birthday special. ######


Prompt:
This happened today at 7am, i got woken up by a huge scandal going on in the aparment above mine so i went to check it out.

The tenants are two tourist girls that rented the apartment from airbnb and a strong weed smell is coming out from their door. My other neighbors are there knocking on their door and shouting but these girls don't speak any spanish so i'm chosen to speak with them.

I told them in english to cut it out as the smell is very strong and affecting other tenants in the floor. no answer, just giggling. However, i chose not to tell them that the neighbors have called the cops on them, which might have prompted them to get sober asap.

Cops show up an hour later and start talking with the neighbors and the landlord (he doesn't live here but came called by the other tenants), weed smell at this point is still at 50% strength. They tell the landlord to open the door and get these two girls arrested.

This is where i start to feel bad since they seem very young (21-23 at most) and they have no idea of how messed up a police station in south america is, even in the women's holding cell. I know they won't get a phone call either so they could be stuck there for a week until their embassy even learns of their arrest. ######

Response: NTA. If you're stupid enough to smoke where it's illegal you get what you get. If they hadn't been hotboxing the entire bloody building nobody would have cared. ######


Prompt:
Hey folks, so I'm at a fork in the road here and have to make a decision. \[Re-phrasing some things so this post doesn't get removed again\]

My brother is in his mid-30s and recently applied to become a police officer. I'm not going to say where since this would be a dead give-away of who I am. When he first told my family and I that he was applying to become a police officer, we were skeptical, but I didn't think anything of it, assuming he'd never make it past the initial testing phase. He has extreme anger issues (he has been in court a few times but my father has paid lawyers to get these incidences expunged from his record), he still lives with my mom, and has addiction issues. His current job has nothing to do with law enforcement either. To my utter shock, he's somehow made it to the final phase before he's admitted to the academy, which is background checks/character references. I have no idea why he put me down as someone to provide him a character reference since we've never had a good relationship. But I recently received an email from the police department asking me to fill out a character reference for him.

I absolutely do not feel comfortable with the idea of him being in a position of power within the community for obvious reasons. That being said, I am the godparent to his only child (who I love and adore) and my brother's current job is not exactly a career that will give his child a great life. I fully support my brother's ambition to have a better career, I'm just not sure if he's the best fit for law enforcement.

WIBTA if I was truthful on the reference form and potentially ruin my relationship with both him and subsequently my godchild? Should I just not fill out the form at all and hope for the best? Or should I withhold certain details for the sake of their future? ######

Response: NTA. If you're concerned for the safety of others, you should always tell the truth. If they choose not to hire him based on your reference, they probably won't tell him that was why. You WBTA if you gave him a false good character reference, in this case. ######


Prompt: Ordered a custom product, told them what I wanted down to the design and colors and paid a design fee. It was a custom gift for my wife and another one for my daughter. A month after it came, they listed the product I had them make for my daughter as a buying option for everyone visiting their site using a photo of my daughters gift as the image on the page. I said something and they refunded my design fee for that product. When they listed the first they decided they would no longer charge the design fee on thing that they would relist or people would pay extra to keep it off their for sale page. Two days after that I check their site and they listed the item I had made for my wife for Mother’s Day. For her it was a personal item and now it’s for sale, no mention of a refund. Feel like i need to take their 5 Star perfect reviews down a notch with a review telling everyone to never have them make something personal. ######

Response: NTA. If you were expecting this to be custom, it should be custom and only yours ######


Prompt:
Hey guys! This is my first time posting on AITA so please bear with me....

First a bit of context... I was planning on getting married this October but have no idea if that is still going to happen due to the lockdown that's going on

So I (29yo F) was on the phone to my mother this morning discussing plans for a "Virtual Birthday party" for me for next week (basically a group video chat with family) and we got on talking about how because of the quarantine that all my families birthdays have been pretty much cancelled this year.

I really wanted to do something special as it's my 30th but will happily settle with just a call, I suggested that we could set up like a Family birthday party after quarantine to celebrate everyone's birthdays. My mum then responds with "well we will see if we can, maybe we can do a joint birthday call next week as your SILs birthday is 2 days after yours and you were planning to get married this year so we can all just celebrate them at the reception" I was deeply hurt and angry by this as
1. my birthday has always been over shadowed as my SIL is a few days after mine and therefore I've had to have joint parties/gatherings for years, I dont usually mind but this is a big birthday and all my 'big' birthdays have eaither been ruined or shared, and
2. that my wedding day is supposed to be about my hubby and me! I told my mum that in no way, shape or form will I be sharing my wedding reception with birthday celebrations for everyone else, it's my big day, and one that I've been waiting on for years, I wont be upstaged on my wedding day"
She got kind of huffy and said well it's not often all the family is together and that we will "just see what happens" now I love my mother and my SIL dearly but this has really struck a nerve.... but still I cant help wondering AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If you wedding will be on a Saturday, your mother can plan something for the Sunday. Or the weekend before. Or the weekend after. Out of curiosity, what's HER wedding story? Would she have allowed her day to get upstaged by everyone else? ######


Prompt:
I was unloading my groceries and found a devotional booklet and a note from my instacart person encouraging me to find Jesus in these dark times.

My order was otherwise just fine, and I won’t change my tip, but I don’t I don’t know how assholish I would be leaving a low star review for the literature.  I don’t want to fuck with anyone’s income, and I’m sure this person thinks they’re being kind, but I find the proselytizing unprofessional and exceedingly unwanted.

So, WIBTA giving low star review with a complaint about the religious literature? ######

Response: NTA. If you wanted that sort of crap you’d have asked for it or sought it out. ######


Prompt:
Our whole relationship is great except for our bedroom situation. We haven’t been intimate in several months and I don’t really show off my body to him anymore.

All of my pajama clothes were in the wash and they weren’t fully dry and I had literally nothing else to wear other than stuff that’s not comfortable to sleep in. I also don’t want to sleep in thick pajama pants because it’s 95 degrees outside.

I figured screw it why not sleep naked just for tonight. I got into bed and he got all weird. Asking me why I wasn’t wearing clothes, which I explained why and he said surely I could find something to wear. I said yes I have other clothes but I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in those clothes. I told him I didn’t see the big deal and it was just for a night, we used to sleep naked all the time.

He got really bugged and said it was weird and it made him uncomfortable. I got up and went to sleep on the couch. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If you used to do it, it shouldn’t be an issue. However, I wonder about the lack of bedroom stuff and his reaction... ######


Prompt: My family is beyond angry with me for this purchase and I want to know if I am wrong for it. If I am wrong, I will return it. I (26F) still live at home with my parents and younger sister (23F). My parents are currently not working but still being paid by their jobs and my sister is a student. Our finances have stayed fairly the same through this situation. I am still working my fast food job and have been saving for this big purchase. Yesterday I was able to order a Louis Vuitton Neverfull bag ($1,580 retail) for $1,100 preloved. I have been saving for this for a long time and it is my dream purse. I don’t own any other designer items. I told my family so they could share in my excitement but everyone was beyond angry at me. My parents yelled at me for not contributing enough to the house and throwing money away on fashion items. However, I pay them rent and pay the house’s cable. They have never asked for more and it has always been clear that my leftover money after covering those expenses if for me. My sister is calling me a show off and making fun of how I will come off when wearing it. I don’t want to come off like a snob and am now reconsidering it after these comments. If I return it, I don’t know what I will put the money towards because my parents haven’t exactly asked for anything. So do you think I should return it? ######

Response: NTA. If you specifically worked and saved up to purchase this purse, there is no reason to feel guilty. You worked hard for it. You're allowed to enjoy luxury items. It was your money not theirs, they don't get a say in your finances since you're already pulling your weight. Keep the bag and enjoy it. ######


Prompt:
I [30F] was at a bar with friends back when that was still a thing and was approached by a past hookup who was clearly still interested. I told him that I wasn’t and he left us alone after that, but one of my friends (childhood friend of BF) was super offended that I hadn’t disclosed that I’d had a boyfriend when I turned him down.

In my mind, turning a guy down by saying you have a bf is weaker than saying that you have no interest, period. Some guys don’t really care if you already have a bf, and from what I knew I’m pretty sure past hookup was in that category. She seemed to think not bringing it up was disrespectful because it gives appearance that I might be willing to cheat if it’s with the right person. I kind of get the perspective, but it feels like she’s looking for a way to twist my words and somehow make this unwanted situation my fault.

I gave my BF a heads up and he didn’t really care, but some of our friends were acting weird about it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If you say you have a boyfriend, they'll keep pushing. I think many of us women have experienced it. Turning them down outright let's them know they have no chance. ######


Prompt:
AITA for removing the tip until my things are delivered and then tipping the deliverer?

So, I need a lot of things delivered to me as I can't go out due to chemo and the fact that I'm currently immunocompromised has me needing a lot of things that I pay to have delivered. What I do to get my things delivered faster is add a large tip ($50.00+, I can afford it) and then it's snatched up and I get my things quicker.

Once I have the person who will deliver my things, I change the tip to $0.00, and wait until they arrive and tip them the same amount in cash. The delivery services I use take between 5 and 15% of the tip and I'm not tipping the company, I'm tipping the person who's taken time out of their day to bring me things. I've never stiffed someone, I just prefer to know that the full amount I want to tip them ends up in their pocket and I don't trust the government. I did waitressing and I never got the full tip and I know people are hurting.

I mentioned it to a friend and she got angry and said that I was scamming the company and misleading my delivery people but the way I see it is that the company charges me extra for my groceries and takes a delivery fee from me, then they want to charge the deliverer. I know for a fact from all of my delivery people that they're not charged if they don't get a tip so why should I pay the company an additional amount?

Obviously I'll change if the company policy charges but until then, they're not taking any more from me and paying their drivers scraps. I also believe that cash is better so that's what I do.

AITA for removing the tip until my things are delivered and then tipping the deliverer? ######

Response: NTA. If you promise a $50 tip through the app and deliver a $50 cash tip then the driver is getting even more than they were promised. And these apps generally treat their drivers pretty terribly so to hell with giving them any more money than you have to. ######


Prompt:
Edit: by toilet I mean toilet bowl rim mainly

My(23) boyfriend (30) of  5 months is pretty great and has visited my apartment pretty frequently as of late. He generally picks up after himself ok enough, there is one hug pet peeve that he is aggrrivating.  When he uses my toilet ,he regularly leaves pee under the lid on the rim that builds up and causes a smell. It took me a while to realize this is what was happening as he was using my guest bathroom that I'm never in.

 He feels that since he's the guest, and he has a medical condition that effects his aim, it's not his responsibility to keep my bathroom clean.

As a girl, I rarely dirty this part of the toilet and it feels gross to have to wipe down the stains so often. I've noticed this with my brother(12) and a male friend that has visited, so idk if it's just a guy thing but I find it pretty gross and disturbing.

How much do you ask frequent guests to clean after themselves? Am I overreacting or is he just being a dick? ######

Response: NTA. If you period dripped on the seat at his house he’d expect you to clean it up. It’s not your fault, and a medical condition, but I bet 1000% he’d want you to clean it up. ######


Prompt:
Some background: I come from India but Im attending a college in the UK after accepting a scholarship.

So this started 7 months ago, so I told my family that I after I finish college I'm going to stay in the UK, I half heartedly thought they were going to be supportive but knowing my culture I knew that they were most likely going to be absolutely pissed and I was right, they were pissed as hell. Apparently I needed to marry our rich neighbor's son who was extremely average looking and also extremely traditional and they had already arranged marriage and I was extremely shocked, they expected me to still be immersed and obedient to our culture when im attending college in a different country for 4 YEARS, I told them that our culture was pure bullshit and I'm not going to go back to india.

A month later I get a call, the call was from our neighbor, they told me that my actions are sinful and an insult to god, and even worse the son joined and called me a whore, I told them that I will never accept the arranged marriage and to fuck off, after that I cut all contact will all my friends and family in india.

So Reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If you need advice if things seem they might escalate or if you have any concerns, please call Karma Nirvana. They are a UK charity for exactly this sort of thing. ######


Prompt:
I have a dog, she's 6. And very healthy. Potty trained. So she never makes any messes. Unless I'm gone for long hours which is understandable. When you gotta go, you gotta go. I clean it up. No big deal.

I walk her 3 times a day. Morning. Afternoon. Evening. So she can use the bathroom and get a lil bit of exercise.

There's a girl who runs her own dog-sitting business. I asked her to watch my dog for a 2 days while I went out of town.

I gave her paper with instructions. Its something a 10 year old could do. It said "Walk her 3 times a day, mornings, afternoons and evenings." I also left 4 small bags of her doggy food. 2 for one day, and 2 for the next day, (breakfast and dinner). Only 2 of thoe bags were used....

Fast forward to when I get back home. I come home to the scent of urine and feces. Everywhere. There's shit in the kitchen. There's shit in the bathroom. Shit in my bedroom. There's shit in the shit.  And paw prints of urine everywhere. You get the picture. Its clear and obvious that she did not walk my dog at all. Not even once.

I was mad about the urine and feces everywhere. But im even more mad at the fact that she neglected my dog. She called me to ask when she can pick up her money. I told her I'm not paying her at all for the shitty "job" she's done. Her excuse? "I was busy with homework". I hung up the phone.

I rated her website a one-star and a negative review. She tried calling me again. My friend is saying I'm being harsh, and I should at least give her some money. For what? She did nothing. How hard is it to feed and walk a dog? How lazy do you have to be?

I dont think im being harsh. I'm being fair. She didn't do the job she was *HIRED* to do.

If im TA, tell me so I can make it right.

TL;DR: Dog sitter didn't walk my dog. Urine and feces everywhere, didn't feed her well either. ######

Response:
 NTA. If you hired a plumber to fix your toilet and instead they clogged it and flooded your bathroom, would you pay them for that?

She didn't even feed your dog. She doesn't deserve to stay in business with that sort of work ethic, particularly since she's working with animals. ######


Prompt: My dad wanted to take us all out for something, he said it was a surprise. For the past week I've had covid symptoms and I came down with a 100° fever yesterday. I told my dad that I wasn't feeling up to leaving the house and he kept trying to make me leave along with my siblings. I snapped and screamed at him and this prompted him to cancel the outing. My siblings won't talk to me and they keep saying pretty rude things now. Did I go too far? ######

Response: NTA. If you have COVID symptoms you absolutely should not be leaving the house, and neither should they, since they are in such close contact with you. ######


Prompt:
When my roommate and I first moved in together we went and I adopted two cats. I paid for adoption fees then and still pay vet bills now.

The two cats are siblings and are now a bonded pair since it’s been a nearly a year or so now. She plans on moving out once our lease is up and going to college in another city. Having two cats and two people in the house was always perfect. And each of us bonded with one of the cats.

These cats love each other, I don’t know if that means anything to anyone but they do everything together. They cuddle, groom each other, play all day - they’ve been that way with one another since they were kittens.

My roommate is moving back home with her mom before she moves to college. She told me her plans to take the cat with her back home (where they have huge dogs and a mother that hates cats) and to school. While I understand why she wants to take the cat, I simply cannot and will not separate the two. Especially when I know she cannot provide the money for vet bills.

Once she told me of her plans I gave it a little time to breathe before I mentioned responsibly and respectfully that I’m not all keen for the idea. I mentioned her getting another cat to raise and love on her own but WIBTA for not letting her take the cat she bonded with? I don’t know I just wanna put the two cats connection with each other before their connection with us. ######

Response:
 NtA. If you have been financially responsible for them the whole time, they're your cats.

If they are as obviously bonded as you say, then shes TA for wanting to break them apart. ######


Prompt:
I am a 16 year old male. I live with my joint family which consists of my mom (40) and dad (41) grandfather (68) grandmother (68) great grandmother (91) and also my great grand father who passed away last year at the age of 96.
We live in a very small house with respect to the number of my family members.

Hence, I dont have my own room in my own house.
My grandfather has a liver disease since a year and a half after a bypass surgery. My grandmother had a knee surgery recently and also has another one this year. My great grandmother does not have any diseases but is quite old. My mother has to take care of them and so she does not work. My father owns a business that is not doing that well currently thanks to covid-19. I was studying for an extremely important exam this year which I had to ace to get into a good college. And because of that exam I could not even go anywhere for some fun because I had to STUDY. For reference the last movie I went to see with my friends was about 3 years ago.

When the day of my final exam came, our nation went into quarantine and my 2.5 month holidays went down the drain. I now am looking after my grandparents and helping my mother in housework alongside studying for my 1st college year. Everyday I have to sit infront of my grandfather for hours just to be there if he needs anything. I havent met my friends since months and my privacy is literally 0.

I am completely fed up of everyone in my house. They feel that it is my obligation that I should look after my family. I literally have to sleep in my grand parents' room beacuse there is no room for me. I have 0hours to myself alone and the only time I get to think about myself is in the bathroom.

STILL MY FAMILY THINKS THAT I AM LIVING A LUXORIOUS LIFE AND THAT I AM UNGRATEFUL AND I AM LAZY AND UNHELPFUL BRAT.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If you have any money saved up, or any friends that'd take you in, move out ASAP. Because your grandparents aren't getting any younger and will only need more help as time progresses. ######


Prompt: So a coworker of mine and I happen to share a lot of the same friends. Today we were talking about some of our friends, and she starts describing this one friend she has. He sounds familiar so I say that he sounds familiar, I have a similar friend and start describing him thinking it might be the same person. I said he was smart, really funny, black, tall, and sporty. She then looks at me funny and said that she didn't know I was racist. I was really confused I said what? She said that since I said my friend is black that makes me racist. I was so confused and flabbergasted so I just went to do other things. I've been thinking and do I just not know what racism is? Is saying someone is black racist? I am still confused ######

Response:
 NTA. If you guys are trying to figure out if you're talking about the same person, then it makes sense to include major physical descriptors like race. That doesn't make you racist.

It's not like you said he was smart and funny for being a black person (at least I hope that's not what you said). That would be racist. Perhaps there's a chance that's what your coworker thought you were getting at. ######


Prompt:
Hi- I have a sister who is a few years older than me, and has wanted kids since she was a kid.  She wants a small litter of them and is a primary school teacher, and I think one day she will make a great mum.

I, on the other hand, do not like kids. Full stop. I never want to be pregnant, I don't find baby videos cute, and if I were to ever have kids I'd hope to foster and look after older kids to help give them a loving supportive home. I was always told when I was younger that when my aunt fell pregnant I'd love my baby cousin, and even though I 1000% love her so much, I never found her to be cute as a kid and it took until she was about 8 for me to feel like I could try to connect to her. Basically- kids and i don't super mix, regardless of relation.

This is connected to a wee while ago when I was talking to my sister and she was talking about wanting kids and I said to her that I was not going to babysit her kids at least until they were potty-trained.

I said this as a flippant comment, whilst my sister reacted like I'd told her I was going to sacrifice her future babies to satan when they were born.

AITA for not wanting to deal with up to four tiny screaming drooling sticky kids, even though they're going to be related? ######

Response: NTA. If you don’t want to babysit, then don’t babysit. ######


Prompt:
Looking for some other opinions to help with my perspective.

My wife saw an area rug she liked on Craigslist. It was described as in good condition and was close to where we lived. The seller was asking $40 and my wife called and asked to come see it. The seller was about 10 minutes away, and my wife arranged a time to go meet.

Her story upon returning with the rug was that she arrived at the destination to find the rug on the porch and the seller not home. When she unrolled the rug to look at it, she decided it was in poor condition and not worth the seller’s asking price. To be fair, she is a career interior designer and well capable of making this determination. However, she decided to leave $5 and take the rug to use for a different purpose than initially intended.

After she explained this to me, I insisted she return the rug or get agreement from the seller that she could have it for her $5 offer. I explained that taking something that was not hers for a not agreed on price was theft and, regardless of how inconvenienced she felt, it did not give her the right to unilaterally decide on all the terms of the sale without the sellers consent. Her claim is that the seller was inconsiderate for not being there at the agreed time and making false claims about the condition of the rug gave her the right to take it for whatever price she felt acceptable.

She wound up returning the rug but treating me horridly for more than a week for ”not backing her” in this situation. I will add that she did all of this in front of our teenaged daughters and I felt strongly it set a very poor example. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA. If you don’t like the the price or the condition, don’t buy. You don’t get to unilaterally decide on a new price without the seller’s consent. It was a dick move for the seller to not be there at the agreed on time, but it doesn’t justify theft.

Did your wife bother to call the seller when she got there? ######


Prompt:
So a few days ago, one of my friends (who lives less than a half a mile away from me) sent me a picture of the sky because it was super dark. And here is the ensuring conversation verbatim:

Friend: it's going to storm really bad
Me: I don't think it'll be that bad but I'm still excited
F: dude go fuck yourself
M: ???
F: it's rude to be excited for storms because they give other people really bad anxiety and panic attacks (goes on to divert conversation to book they're reading)

And I'm confused because they know I absolutely love storms and find solace in them. Even when there are tornadoes sirens going off, I enjoy them. I am aware that my friend doesn't enjoy storms but should that really stop me from even talking about my love for them? ######

Response: NTA. If you could't be excited about anything that gives other people anxiety you couldn't be excited about ANYTHING. ######


Prompt:
My wife wants us to compete in a weight loss competition, so it can make it easier for her.

The thing is, I can’t healthily lose any weight. I’m just 5 pounds from being underweight. I still do work out to become more fit, but I don’t lose weight.

My wife is slightly overweight. She wants to come down to a healthier level, which I wholeheartedly support. But, I can’t bring myself to compete in something that I can’t possibly win at. My wife thinks that this is unfair, and that is competing will make it easier for her.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If you are already so close to being underweight, there is no reason at all for you to try and compete. Perhaps come up with a fun alternative to help her with her weight loss, like instead of a competition, you can both workout together three times a week or cook healthy dinners together. It sounds like she might just need some oxternal motivation to help her reach her goal. ######


Prompt:
Me [18M] and my girlfriend [18F] have been dating for 2 and a half years. We trust and love each other a ton. I have nude photos of her on my phone. My twin sister [18F] a few days ago snooped through my phone and found the pictures. I'm angry at her for invading me and my girlfriend's privacy, and feel guilty for not better protecting my phone and thus exposing my girlfriend. I have since put a passlock on my phone as well as the folder with her naked pictures.

My sister says she snooped cause she was bored, wanted to see my pictures, and accidentally stumbled upon the nudes. I suspect she may have looked for my gf's nudes on purpose but either way its fucked up.  As far as I know, she didn't see my nudes (hopefully yikes). My sister is gay and has a girlfriend [17F] of almost a year. I'll call my sister "M". Since then M has been making a lot of comments on the pictures and my girlfriend to me. This really upsets me and I think its super disrespectful. Things she has said include:

" Damn she's hot, a solid 9"
"Her boobs are almost as nice as mine"
"If I was single, I could get with her"
"She has a nice pussy"
"You don't deserve that body"

I keep telling her to shut the fuck and stop disrespecting my girlfriend but she wouldn't stop. So I told her if she keeps making these comments I'd tell her girlfriend what she's doing but she didn't believe me and didn't stop. So I texted her girlfriend a screenshot of some of the creepy stuff M has texted me about my girlfriend and told her what M was doing.

M is now furious at me because her gf got super mad at her. She says I might have cost her, her relationship.

I didn't and don't want to tell my parents as I didn't want to out my sister as gay to them, and they would flip out if they knew I was exchanging nudes

Did I overreact or go overkill involving her girlfriend? ######

Response: NTA. If want to know I'd my gf/bf was speaking like that about others ######