Prompt: I love kids but I want a kid free night. My family won’t stop asking if they can bring there kids and I say no kids allowed every time. My cousins are calling me an asshole and selfish for not letting them come. They said they should be allowed to bring there kids because they are well behaved and don’t want to pay for a babysitter. I don’t have kids but I don’t think I would ever assume I could bring my kids to someone else’s wedding. ######

Response: NTA  — It’s your wedding.   They don’t have to come if they don’t want to abide by the wedding rules.  Also though, and I can’t stress this enough, you don’t have any right to be upset if some people don’t come because of this rule.  But no, you’re NTA.  I hope you have an amazing wedding. ######


Prompt:
So me and my sister were jogging.......or well I was she was on her little scooter following me lol.  When we got back she was bored when I was watching tv and started to climb all over me.  I humored her and we were wrestling for a little bit (I am the tickle attack king lol).  As we were wrestling and goofing off I saw her grabbing at my bra, (I was in a sports bra and running shorts) and nearly pulled the whole thing down.

I completely got off of her and told her that taking off girl's bras are a big no no and its like a private area.  She didn't really understand what I was saying but she was giggling a whole lot.  My mom was in the kitchen and told me not to lecture or parent my sister cause thats their job.  I tried to explain the situation to my mom but she didn't want to hear it and then went to tell my sister the exact same thing I was trying to say.

My mom said next time to just call her to parent her cause "its not my job".  AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA
You weren't parenting. You were being a good big sister.
I think your mom might be overly worried that your sister might get weird ideas about sexuality. But calling her in to take care of this minor issue would make it into a much bigger deal than it was in the first place.
IMO a seven year old is plenty old enough to know about "private areas" and it seems like your mom should have had this talk with her already. ######


Prompt:
So, my daughter's Father owes a ton of back child support. Part of the outstanding balance is taken from his paychecks along with each current payment. It's not enough to pay it all back before she's 18, but it is deducted nevertheless. Anyway, he got a letter in the mail from the US Treasury Dept telling him that they've intercepted his $1200 corona stimulus check, and it will be applied to the back child support he owes. He almost immediately contacted me to tell me about the letter and how he was counting on that money. He was very upset that they would do that to him in a "it's not fair" kind of tone. I gathered that he believes that the money that is already garnished from his paychecks should have been enough to avoid additional consequences for being a former "deadbeat" Had he been keeping up with the stimulus check news then he would have known that this was going to happen. They announced that back child support debtors would not get checks a while ago. To his credit, he has been a consistent father in our daughter's life since the Attorney General's office caught up with him several years back and garnished his wages. And we have been on civil coparenting terms with few issues. But now, he has projected his frustration and bind onto me because he had already spent the stimulus money in his head that he isn't getting. I know this pandemic has hit people in the pockets, but he has not mentioned being in a bad financial situation since he is still able to work these days. I don't know what he planned on using the money for, and I don't ever ask him for extra money whenever I'm in a tight spot. AITA if I decline handing it over to him when I get it??

Le sigh... ######

Response:
 NTA
The money isn't his, never was his, and him not keeping track of the fact that he wasn't going to receive it (because he is a still technically a deadbeat with support in arrears) is entirely his own fault and not yours or your responsibility to rectify.

Take the money, take care of your kid with it as it is meant to, and don't worry about his finances. Those stopped being your problem with the two of you split. ######


Prompt:
So I (m33) met my wife (f34) 10 years ago in high school via a friend. She introduced me to Fleetwood Mac, and one of my favorite songs is "black magic woman" and as a cute nickname, i started calling her that.. She thought it was funny, and it's been a cute little inside joke between us.
She's half Colombian, Half Jamaican, but I never really thought of her skin color when I started calling her that.
Yesterday, me, her and her high school friend she hadn't seen in many years were hanging out at home. They were catching up on each other's lives, and I was just watching TV. She suddenly stood up and went to the kitchen and asked us if we wanted to have tea. I said "sure, black magic woman!" to her as she laughed a little.
When she had gone to the kitchen, her friend angry and offended accused me of racism and called me a dickhead. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA
Jesus.  Mentioning race is not the same as demeaning, belittling, insulting or otherwise being unkind to that race.  If you point to Denzel Washington and say "he's black", that isn't racist.  It's weird, but not racist.
"Magic woman" sure as shit isn't insulting.

"Black Magic" doesn't even refer to skin color, "black magic" is a type of magic.

Neither interpretation, whether she's a black, magic woman or a black-magic woman is racist.  If she doesn't mind, you're in the clear.  The friend is being knee-jerk defensive because just mentioning someone's skin color is wrong now. ######


Prompt:
Okay so long story short, I'm basically flat chested A cup. My boyfriend and I argue alot, and one of the things he constantly points out it that I don't wear a bra.

They're uncomfortable for me because they're always too big, they look and feel stupid on me and I just hate them. He commented in an argument that I wore one when we first dated. (I wore a pushup to look good in the dresses I had)
...Which I stopped wearing after he saw me naked. By then theres no point. He'd seen what I really look like.

I lack alot of confidence when it comes to my body, and every time I want to go out he demands I wear a bra, nothing low-cut, nothing tight. He makes comments about not wanting people to stare at my nipples.

I wear baggy clothing around him all the time, and he still complains.

Reddit, am I the asshole for not wearing a bra? ######

Response:
 NTA
but from the sound of it and what I read in the comments, he is manipulating you and you need to GET OUT. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I (early 30s) extended our lease for 6 months back in February, planning to buy a house between then and July. Our landlords are selling our house, so they will not extend further. Unfortunately, my husband was furloughed, so we’ve put the house hunt on hold until he’s landed a new gig.

We live in the same city as our parents. My in-laws own a few different houses/units around our city. My mother in law can be difficult, so over the last 10 years we’ve avoided living in any of their places, despite the savings potential.

When my husband was furloughed, my in-laws offered us a place to move in to for 1/2 of what we’re paying now. We thought it was very generous of them and agreed. We planned to move in July and stay there until we can buy a house. We’ve had this planned for a couple months now.

Last week my MIL called and told me that they rented the unit we were supposed to move in to. She offered to let us move in to their house instead. Their house is huge and beautiful - we would even have our own floor with a separate kitchen, etc. But as I mentioned...my MIL is very overbearing. I’m also working from home full time until at least October.

I mentioned this to my parents, who offered us up their sailboat to move to. It’s moored in the city, has enough space for us, and would be completely free except utilities and moorage. My parents normally sail over the summers, but can’t because of border restrictions, so it’s largely unused at the moment anyway. We decided this was the right option for us and would be fun. I grew up at times on a sailboat so this is not entirely out of my wheelhouse.

We let my in-laws know and they are very upset. They feel as though we “hate” them and would rather live on an old boat than with them. Which I guess is...kinda true, but we don’t hate them. I feel bad for upsetting them, and I can see how this makes us look ungrateful. AITA for living on a sailboat instead of my in-laws very nice home? ######

Response:
 NTA

You said your MIL is 'difficult' and 'overbearing' and what you tell seems you are right.
If they just offered to do you a favor, they wouldn't be upset.

It seems like they tried to catch you and control you. Be careful. Don't be too close is the right decision. ######


Prompt:
Long story short:

I had a girlfriend just short of 2 years (ended last summer, last contact in October). Things got ugly and ended on bad terms (I think). She basically destroyed me and my plans and I was left in a dark hole and on the verge of losing it completely for many months before I slowly recovered (she happily jumped to the next guy within weeks of breaking up with me).
I have since moved on to new people and at one point, recently, I received a text message from my ex telling me to stop seeing this one person she knows. Since it was my phone number she texted, I pretended that I didn't know who it was and left it at that.

A couple of weeks later (meaning this past weekend), I actually bump into her in the shop. I'm with a new intern at the company I work at and she is trying to stop me to talk, or something, but I ignore her, until I stop and tell her that I don't know her and that she's mistaken me for someone else. Intern chuckles a bit, but looks mostly confused.

She is annoyed. Upset. Angry. Something. Calls me a jerk and tells me to get my act together and stop pretending I don't know her. I think I convincingly pull off the act that she's a crazy woman who must have mistaken me for someone, since she left in a rage and my new co-worker was laughing and asking me what the hell he just witnessed (to which I pretended I was just as baffled).

I had lunch with my mother today and I mentioned this; to which she told me I was being an immature asshole.

What do you think? ######

Response:
 NTA

Owned. ######


Prompt:
Me and her (f) have been friends for a while but one day f decided to spread a malicious rumour about me. I wont go into detail but it caused me a lot of suffering in school.

F said privately to me that she felt bad about what was happening (bear in mind that this was weeks after things started escalating) and I wouldnt take her private apology for one reason. She blamed it all on her hormones. She got annoyed at me and asked what she could do to make things right. I simply told her to tell the entire school which she adamantly refused. So I made her. (I made her speak in assembly, in my school students can make important announcements if needed). She cried. A lot.

The people in my school are very mixed, most of the guys immediately apologised for everything and took my side saying it was right. (I'm a guy btw). However, most of the girls took her side and said that I had no right to do that. So reddit, AITA?

Tl:dr Theres about to be a civil war in my school because I made a girl admit to her lies. ######

Response:
 NTA

Lying for no reason is wrong, especially when it's caused you so much grief. I think you were completely justified in bringing her lies to light. Doesn't matter what gender they are or what the lie was about - The fact is that she lied, and she had no reason to really do so. Awful Rumours are not okay, even if you wronged her in some way. They can really damage lives.

Also, she doesn't sound like a friend you want to have, in my opinion. ######


Prompt:
On the last day before lock down I called in to work because I needed to get my nan an ambulance. She could only maintain consciousness for 10-15 seconds at a time. I've lived with her for 3 years and became her carer when she was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis.
My nan tested negative for the virus twice so we realised that it was a rapid decline in her health. She went into hospice care and was put on end of life.
My boss had sent me a few emails, I replied to all of them cordially, and asked him to mark any important emails as such as my nan is dying.
My nan died on 7th April this year and on the 8th, I announced it online because I have people who always had my nan's presence in their life and I said that I would be leaving social media to sort out the funeral, the estate and the likes.
I got tagged in 8 posts, 1 per day for 6 days and 2 on the last day from managers asking me to put on my uniform and hold up a sign and shout happy birthday to my boss. I saw the original post and I thought, I don't really have time and I'm not in the right mindset to do this.
One of my managers kept tagging me in posts saying "come on, you've only got a few days to send your video in. It can't be that hard." And "it'll only take 5 minutes." But they posted saying that we needed to have on clean and ironed uniform. For a 10 second video.
I'm looking to be promoted and I'm trying to make a good impression with everyone at work and I think by not doing it, I've made people feel like I'm not bothered about the team. My closest friends at work think it's perfectly understandable but management seem to have a different opinion. I just couldn't bring myself to pretend like it's business as usual when my nan's ashes are sat in my living room. ######

Response:
 NTA

I'd say that even if you weren't already going through something so difficult (I am sorry about your nan), you would still not be the asshole for not taking part in their silly activity.

That having been said, asshole or no, these goofy office practices are sadly the way people get noticed and promoted.  I *hate* that people play the "not part of the team" card just because people won't do stupid games, but, if you want promoted that might be a bullet you have to bite. ######


Prompt:
My friend was ranting to me about his tinder experience to me, how no one responds to his messages, how his he has been ghosted in the past, women on the app only swipe right on super hot guys, etc. He is generally a laid back person so I was taken aback. I said that he displaying some incel-esque tendencies and should rethink and take better pics. He called me douche and said he could trust me.

He posted this on friend group chat and now people are calling me out. "broke the bro code", "check my privilege" amoung other messages. People are saying that he was just ranting about tinder and took it too far. According to me, my friend was blaming his lack of success on "shallow tinder girls".

Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA

Fuck the "bro code" or any other code they throw at you.

You simply reminded another human being that their lack of success is from their own actions and not because girls are unfair. ######


Prompt:
I've been laid off and have spent a lot of time at home cleaning and organizing. Husband is working from home and mentioned that its nice that everything is so clean and we can actually enjoy our days off instead of always having something to do. So we tossed around the idea of hiring a cleaning service once a week or once every other week to catch up on the cleaning we miss. Mostly vacuuming, dusting, and occasional deep cleaning in the kitchen. We work opposite schedules and find it hard to do this cleaning because we either have our toddler or one of us is asleep.

Apparently this was just hypothetical to him because I did some research and he was surprised when I brought him numbers. (Any cleaning service would be after the current situation). He barely looked at the sheet, handed it back and said he thought we would just hire his mom if we ever needed.

What?

I said no, because we used to live with his parents and his mom is nosey, she has a full time job, and his family has a tendency to over stay their welcome. Husband looked taken aback and asked me to explain. I brought up all the times she would take it upon herself to do our laundry that was in our bedroom with our door closed. "Cleaned" my work spaces, and generally disregarded implied boundaries. I also tacked on that his dad follows his mom everywhere and has a similar disregard for boundaries. He agreed about his dad but seems miffed that I don't want his mom in our home, hired and unsupervised. AITA? ######

Response: NTA  - would your MIL even WANT to clean your house? This seems extremely short-sighted on your husband's behalf. Even if you had the best MIL in the world, it's awkward to have someone you know clean your space with all of your personal items. What would happen if you didn't like the work she did? It's a recipe for disaster. ######


Prompt:
So, that’s is a throwaway, the fact I’m gay has nothing to do with the story, English isn’t my native language, and I’m on my phone.

Let’s get to the actual story; and introduce the characters. Salvi is my boyfriend, mom is my mother, dad is my father, Marie is my sister, I’m 20, as is Salvi.

So, as a child, my mother was hyper-conscious about my weight. It translates into me being on diets from the age of seven. As an early teenager, I struggled with an eating disorder, and the road to recovery has been a messy one. At the age of 18, I decided to move out with my boyfriend, and we lived in our own apartment. Note: my father wasn’t really okay with the diets, but he never opposes my mother, which has causes tensions.

Okay, so my parents house is being sold, so they asked if they can stay at mine until they find a new place, and I agreed. That was two months ago.

Like three days in, my mother started commenting about how I had gained weight, and that I should eat less, and it’s been making me feel worse, and worse, and I’m starting to enter old habits. I’ve tried to tell my mother that I am an adult, I can know what to eat, to no avail.

Last night, after a certain remark, I snapped, and told my mother that she could either stop fucking remarking, or she could leave (and by extension my dad), and it escalated into a huge argument, and they both left to my sister’s.

My sister called me up to tell me that I was an asshole for how I handled the situation, and that I should apologise, and that my mother just shows love in weird ways.

Salvi will support me either way, but he prefers they don’t come here.

So Reddit !! AITA for snapping at my mom? ######

Response:
 NTA   What your mother has done to you has nothing to do with love. She has been abusing you since you were a child and your father, by being silent and not helping you, has been a part of her abuse. You have nothing to apologise for! The fact that you still tried to help them out says a lot about how nice of a person you are.

If your mother won't shut her mouth about your weight then I would seriously consider removing her permanently from my life if I were you. What she has done is so damaging, I know that from personal experience.

And seriously, your mom shows love in weird ways?? I can't stand abuse apologists. If you were to tell your mother that she was too fat, looked old and wrinkly, would that be seen as you showing her love? No, I don't think so. It sounds like it's convenient for your family that you remain the scapegoat so that neither your father nor your sister has to deal with your mother's cruelness. ######