Prompt:
I know, this title is ridiculous. How on earth could I be an asshole when seeking medical attention? I’m not sure but my coworker seems to think I’m the world’s biggest asshole.

So around 11pm yesterday I started having trouble breathing, I chalked it up to asthma. Well I then got sick to my stomach. At 7am I called the Covid screening and they sent me over to healthlinks and they sent me to the ER. By this point I could barely speak.

I contacted my bosses and hr to let them know what’s up as I had a 10:00 shift. I had messaged everyone around 8:30am what was up.

It took three hours before I could breath on my own. I see I have a Snapchat from a coworker I used to consider a friend. I opened it and it was a wall of text about how selfish I am for not showing up and how all I do is sit at the desk (that’s my job)

What’s important to know is that I was off work from February until June 1st because of health issues and I’ve only been back working for a week.

I tried to explain the situation not that it was any of her business and she went off more, I won’t repeat what was said because character limit. But I sent screenshots to HR because they were nasty texts.

I could see why she’d be upset if I was home with the sniffles, but I couldn’t breath, I was throwing up, those are corona symptoms and I would have been sent home anyway even if I did show up. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Fuck, what is wrong with your colleague, you were sick you couldn't breathe.

You were right to go the ER.

Edit: correction of a word ######


Prompt:
My sister just had a baby and he’s a couple months old, kinda in that ugly chicken phase. She has been trying for a baby for over 10 years and I’m super proud of her because I know she was hurting with infertility etc.

She co-owns a successful business w/ my parents and it’s her job to post pictures on their website of the products.

For the sake of argument, let’s say they handmake leather goods like wallets and purses. Nothing to do with kids. She will post photos of my nephew either on the goods partially obscuring the items or with items on top of him. She jumped straight back into work and uses my nephew as props.

Business has taken a noticeable dive and people keep emailing the store to ask if they can get clearer pictures etc.

Recently someone left a bad review AFTER purchasing items saying ‘I came here to buy x, not look at someone’s baby’. My sister took it the wrong way and actually blacklisted the customer and also sent a strongly worded email to them saying they’re a family business and how dare they critizise her and no one knows what she’s been through.

My parents actually had to reach out to that customer and offered to fully refund them. I gently said to my sister (I was in the room when my parents were refunding over $200 worth of leather goods) that maybe she should keep work and family separate.

She started screaming at my that I’m a stupid kid and. I don’t know what I’m talking about (I’m 17, shes 30+, i was a total surprise baby...) and that I’m evil and dumb etc. My parents asked me to apologize to her which I don’t think I should do. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Frankly, your sister is acting very unprofessional and hurting the business.

I could at least in some capacity understand her using her baby as a "model" if they were promoting baby related items (clothes, bedding, furniture, etc), but a baby has no place in product pictures of items that are not baby related. ######


Prompt: I just gave birth to my daughter.  Of course my MIL is crazy over the top, over the moon.  She wants to come over all the time to see the baby.  I’m ok with that.  I really am.  I can use some company and advise.  My only request is that she please call me first ahead of time.  Call me so I can change out of my sloppy baby puked on clothes or put the dogs in another room so they don’t overwhelm her or just for the simple fact that I am not a big fan of surprises.  Anyway instead of respecting my wishes she tells the entire family that I’m a snob who doesn’t want her to visit even though I explained she’s always welcome and I would never say no just please call me ahead of time.  Now I’m getting snarky remarks from family members.  Am I being unreasonable? ######

Response:
 NTA.

For some advice r/JustNoMil

Your request is reasonable, you want to look better then your worst when she visits. Make it a thing, that if she doesn't call ahead, she isn't coming in. ######


Prompt:
(I'm not a story teller like some here, so sorry if this is disorganized or boring.)

&#x200B;

Hello Reddit. Tomorrow is my (f/28) birthday. I wasn't planning on doing anything this year because it's my first sober birthday (I quit drinking 9 months ago) and I try to avoid parties since everyone usually drinks at them.

Last week I was asked by friend A (f/31) if I'd like to go for a small dinner and I said yes. A asked where I wanted to go and I suggested somewhere that serves hot pot. I have never tried it and figured my birthday dinner would be a good time.

A came back to me the next day and said we can't do hot pot because friend B (f/30) doesn't like Korean food.

"Uhmm, okay how about sushi?"

Well you guessed it, now friend C (f/34) doesn't like sushi.

This has evolved in to me trying to find a place everyone will enjoy and wanting to cancel the whole thing because all it has done is stressed me out and made me feel bad for not knowing who doesn't like what. I told A this, and she said it would be an asshole move because everyone is getting together for me.

Today B pushed for us to go to a pub, and everyone immediately was in agreeance.

I snapped a bit. I told the group that I refuse to let my birthday be an excuse for them to get drunk at a bar. If this dinner really was *for me* they'd have been fine with my original suggestion and if they can't support my sobriety then they aren't friends at all.

I am currently getting text messages saying I flew off the handle, that I need to grow up and not be such an asshole when they were just trying to do a nice thing for me. C even said that they shouldn't be punished because I can't handle my liquor.

So yeah, dinner is cancelled and so are those friendships. Now that I've cooled down a bit though, I am wondering if I was being an asshole...

&#x200B;

Edit: Post has been live less than 10 minutes and you guys have already shown me I made the right call. Thank you so much. ######

Response:
 NTA.

First, your birthday your rules.

Secondly you're freshly sober, avoiding temptation is a smart move.

If your friends can't accept or understand that, you can question their motivations and canceling the birthday party for your own health is the right move. ######


Prompt:
My bf of 2 years went on a camping trip right before all the lockdowns and quarantine measures started. He went with 2 girls from his college outdoorsy club that he doesn't know very well and who I've never met. I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't super thrilled about that, but I didn't say anything cause I know that was just my own insecurities getting to me.

On the trip, we didn't talk much but he did call me once and told me the trip was going well. He came back from the trip, said it was fun and they just hiked and fished and stuff, and I was glad he had a good time. Yesterday we were cleaning the apartment and reorganizing and I pulled his sleeping bag from a closet and noticed there was a small rip in it. A hole maybe like 2 or 3 inches across. I asked if he wanted me to try to fix it. He kinda dismissively said "oh I'll just buy another, I didn't even use it on the trip" and so I asked, "then how did you sleep?"

He looked like a deer caught in headlights and tried to backtrack, but then eventually admitted he ended up sharing a bag with one of the other girls. Not one of those fancy double bags either, just a regular one. I'm pretty pissed because he got mad at me for sharing a king bed with my gay male friend once, which I apologized for and we agreed that bedsharing was a boundary for us. We live in a warm area and it wasn't cold the weekend he went, certainly not cold enough to necessitate sharing a bag for "body heat" like he says. If his bag was completely destroyed I would've understood, but imo it was still usable and NOT bad enough to break a boundary we had established. And then he lied about it and hid it from me. Am I overreacting? He says nothing happened and I guess I believe him but I still feel like he broke my trust somehow. Or is this not a big deal? Is this normal for camping? AITA for being angry with him? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Even if nothing happened, the two of you *already established that sharing beds was a boundary*. Not only did he willingly, and unnecessarily break that boundary, he lied to you about it. Or at least, tactfully decided not to mention it, so lying by omission.

I’d be so fucking pissed. A small hole in a sleeping bag DOES NOT warrant jumping into a bag with another person. Like you said, especially considering it wasn’t freezing conditions. Put on some damn socks and sleep in your own sleeping bag.

Also, why tf is he going camping with girls you say yourself he hardly even knows? ######


Prompt:
So this happened couple of weeks ago but my sister is still bothering me about it. Also English is not my first language. TLDR at the bottom.

So I (f27) and my boyfriend (m30) are childfree by choice. My sister (f25) is pregnant for the first time and had a baby shower a few weeks ago. It was a small gathering of about 10 people.

At the baby shower there was my sister's friend and coworker, we'll call her Elle. I don't really know her, but we're on a friendly level.

The whole time Elle was making comments regarding me not having children. She doesn't know I'm childfree. Things like "Oh OP you're gonna have to catch up to Maria's speed, she's younger and already preggy!" (Maria meaning my sister), or "When is the baby gonna have a little cousin?" And stuff like that, and it really annoyed me, but I didn't wanna make a big deal about it.

At one point Elle and I were in the kitchen, just the two of us and she said "You're almost 30 right? The next baby shower must be yours haha" I smiled a little awkwardly and said "I'm not having children." She said "Well when you change your mind."

This annoyed me so much I decided to say "I'm actually infertile." Just in hopes that it would teach her not to make comments like that to childless people.

My sister overheard and didn't say anything, but after the party she confronted me. She said she fully supports me being childfree, but that I shouldn't have lied. I know it's not good to lie, but I'm just really sick and tired of the remarks childfree people like me get all the time.

Am I the Asshole for lying like that to teach her to be quiet about things like that?

TLDR: My sister's friend keeps making comments about me not having kids, so I tell her that I'm infertile, even though I'm not, so she would stop making those remarks. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Elle had *no* business bringing up you being child free.

Also maybe it teaches her that those kind of comments can really hurt someone who isn't child free by choice. ######


Prompt: Hi reddit community. I wanted to ask for advice. The story begins on 2015 when my father passed away and me and my fathers family got into a legal argument over the inheritence that my father left me. In conclusion I got the inharintence even though I didn't want it and my fathers family cut all contact with me. I thought everything was over, but just a month ago my grandmother called to ask me how I'm doing and so on... In the end of the conversation she mentioned that her sister that's just over 74 years old has just been diagnoses with kidney failure and asked me to donate it, but I refused because I understood that it was the only reason she called, she got angry and told me that I'm not worth anything and that if I donated my kidney at least I would do something good with my life(I'm 21 now). Now over the course of the month I have been verbally abused by my grandmother and her sister, they spread all sorts of rumors about me that really aren't true... And honestly I'm at my breaking point and I just don't know what to do. Am I the asshole for not donating my kidney? Sorry fo the long post, I just needed to get this off my chest. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Donating an organ is a serious thing and you have every right to decline doing so for whatever reason.

But especially in this case.

You aren't an organ factory. ######


Prompt: I have a medically fragile kid (genetic condition/feeding tube/just home after 2+ months in the hospital). Our neighbors know all of this. They have always just let their 8 year old walk into our driveway and yard without permission. I asked them nicely via Facebook yesterday if they could keep him out of our space and my son and my medically fragile child deserve to be able to safely go out in our front yard. She told me I was being completely unreasonable and because our houses are fairly close together, it is silly for me to expect her son to not walk through our yard. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Currently dealing with this. I'm very very pregnant, my daughter has breathing issues, mom is here staying with us to keep us fed, and our houses are basically on top of each other.

My daughter is 4. My neighbour's son, her best buddy, is 4. They understand enough that they cannot leave our driveways, they can wave at each other, say hi, but cannot play. They gave started playing from ten feet apart, just waving and screaming at each other. 4, and they get it.

NTA, and I'm getting really fucking tired of entitled parents. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I had a private gym in our house with a bunch of different type of gym equipment.

Back in November a gym opened up a block from our house, so we each got gym memberships and decided to get rid of our personal gym equipment so we could use the room for something else.

I tried selling it all, but couldn’t get anyone to buy the elliptical, the bowflex, weight set, and our various smaller gym equipment. I offered them to friends and family for free and my sister said she would be interested.

But she didn’t have space for them at the time and said she and her husband would make room for them and pick them up. I called her three times in December about them after that she always said she still hasn’t gotten around to making room for them. After that I stopped calling her about them because it didn’t seem like she really wanted them and they had just been sitting forgotten in a corner of the garage since.

Until a month ago when our gym closed. My wife and I decided to pull them out of the garage to use them again. They’ve really helped us from getting stir crazy.

My sister called on Tuesday to ask if her husband and son could come pick them up that day.

I told her how my wife and I are actually using them now that our gym is closed so we wouldn’t be giving them away anymore.

She asks if I’m kidding because they just spent all yesterday clearing out space for them.

When I say I’m not. My sister sort of raises her voice and says how I said she could have that equipment and that it was hers. How her gym is closed and they all don’t have anyway to exercise. Then she brings up how my nephew needs it because he needs to stay in shape for school (he’s on an athletic scholarship).

I get a call from dad later saying and he agrees with my sister and says considering my nephew they really need the equipment more than we do. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Convenient how she suddenly decided to make room for the weights when it suited her. She never answered any of your calls and wasn't interested in picking them up until it suited her. The offer was made **months** ago. If she didn't pick it up in December, that's her problem. It's too late.

She should respect the fact that you and your wife need it during this quarantine, given that you purchased the damn thing. It doesn't matter if your nephew is on an athletic scholarship. he can find other ways to workout. E.g. bodyweight/resistance band exercises. ######


Prompt:
I (M34) bought my boyfriend (M32) a 2018 Macbook Air on sale a few months ago because he needed a new computer. It did not come with a warranty. Two days ago, he got annoyed at me that I asked him to come to bed (it was 2am), slammed the laptop shut and came.

Then, he discovered the next day that his slamming the laptop shut broke the screen. He started demanding that I pay for it because "I provoked him" and because I was so stupid to buy a laptop without a warranty. I told him he should learn not to have temper tantrums.

He has a stable, salaried job. I understand that he doesn't want to pay to fix it, but I don't see how this is my problem. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Classic manipulative behavior. "Look what you made me do."

I'd watch out that he doesn't continue to blame you for his behavior. ######


Prompt:
TL;DR is the title, throwaway account, English is not my main language, blablabla

So I (17M) begged my parents (mid 50s) for a Netflix account for YEARS before i gave up, and just bought my own account. I have the cheapest plan possible, so about 10$ a month (i think) and it's costing me literally half my pocket money.

About two month ago, I gave my mom my Netflix, as a way to convince her that it was worth paying for a family account. Needless to say, they weren't convinced. Recently however, my dad, who was the most against me having netflix in the first place (he thinks it's way too addictive) started a show with my mom. They've been watching it everyday for a week now, and today I had to boot a friend out of the account, while he almost never watches anything. They jokingly threatened to cut my pocket money if I didn't boot him, so I gave in.

Right now, they are watching their show, and I know that they only have two episodes left, so I was thinking of booting them out, and not allowing them back in until they pay for half the account. I have no idea if it'll work, but WIBTA ?

Update :I have decided that I will not do it, as I think only negative consequences could arise from this. They're also probably too stubborn to buy it anyway, so I'll play the long game and try to convince them slowly. Thanks for everyone's input, even those who said I was TA :) ######

Response:
 NTA.

But this is going to backfire big time.

If you're paying for this with allowance, allowance they give you. They'll just take your allowance away.  Then make their own account if they're so inclined and not give you the password.

Don't bite the hand that feeds. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway, mobile,  all that jazz.

Tonight I was a Suspicious Sally and checked my husband's text messages from his smart watch. I see a series of messages to an unsaved number and while they're not explicit they essentially allude to wanting to meet up again. The weird thing is that it only displayed one side of the conversation, the responses from my husband's phone.

I confronted him and he insisted that he didn't know what I was talking about. I get his watch and show him. He shows me his phone and says they aren't in there so he's not sure why they're on his watch.

I pulled up our text history from our phone carrier and it very clearly shows sent and received messages from that number today. I searched the past 90 days (as far back as it goes) and there weren't any other matches (just today).

Then I Googled the number and it shows that it belongs to an escort. He says that proves that he's innocent because how could he get away with paying for it? And as for an affair,  when would he have time. I manage the money and watch it like a hawk so I definitely would notice it. But he could certainly have credit that I'm not aware of.

He hasn't been defensive,  just confused and agrees that it's fucked up and he'd be pissed if reversed.

So Reddit, AITA for not believing him/being suspicious? ######

Response:
 NTA.

But let's be honest. You seem to have all the information you need in this situation.

I'm sorry, and it sucks.  I hope you can figure out where to go from here. ######


Prompt:
I'm a 29 year old mother of a 6 year old son. He had been just the normal kid growing up, curious and enthusiastic as ever. Lately I have noticed him roleplaying feminine characters while playing, favoring more feminine attitudes and toys/games.  That was completely fine by me and his father and we never discouraged it.

However three days ago I was online clothes shopping and thought it would be a fun idea to include my son and help me choose and pick colors/styles for mine and his clothes. He was very happy to do so and helped me choose my clothes. When we were looking through the kids section of the online store, he showed interest in both boy-ish and girl-ish styles so I thought it would be a good idea to encourage him to pick whatever he wants. He picked 3 t-shirts and one dress and I had them all ordered. I didn't explain to him that dresses are for girls and didn't act as if him picking a dress was weird, I just wanted t get him what he wants.

Later that day I was talking to my husband and mentioned the incident to him, he got absolutely furious. He told me I'm encouraging a little boy to be insecure of his identity and "masculinity". I told him that was ridiculous and that our son doesn't even understand what masculinity is, he's just a kid and he has no clear "identity" yet. He got mad and has been acting weird to me since, as if I'm a danger to our son. Should I have explained to my son that dresses are for girls and that he's a boy?

TL;Dr: bought a dress for my son like he wanted and my husband got mad at me for not explaining to him that it's for girls. AITA? ######

Response:
 Nta.

But as a lot of other comments are pointing out that kids are mean, I think you should have an age appropriate talk with him. Something along the lines of "you are allowed to wear whatever you want and I'll be there supporting you, but there are bad people out there that might make doing what you want difficult." Or something along those lines.

But props for letting him be himself and showing an acceptable household, that will probably lead to more openness from him to you. ######


Prompt:
I can't even believe I'm writing this. It feels so ridiculous but I feel like I'm going out of my mind.

Several of my friends have now expressed that they think it's "covert racism" and "culture appropriation" because my Animal Crossing character is black.

I'm a white female but when I started playing I decided I would make my character have dark skin, pink hair and purple eyes - literally nothing like what I look like in person because I just wanted it to be a cute character. I even gave my character a different name that's nothing like mine.

I've been playing for about a month and I don't have live, but I found an adorable villager and I sent my friends (who don't play AC) a picture of my screen and BAM they started telling me it's not right and to make my character white because only black people should be able to used darker skin colour options.

I keep telling them that's stupid because it's just a game... If I ever have a daughter I'll buy her all skin colour Barbies to play with, it shouldn't be any different.

I ended up asking my coworkers about it (a few of who play the game) and they also said it's similar to doing blackface, just virtual...

Seriously AITA? I don't see how it could be wrong when it's just a character I love and created for the purpose of the game.

TL;DR: Made my AC character a dark skinned girl, even named her something else, and my friends and coworkers think it's racist blackface. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Blackface is a racist charicature of black people for the purpose of mocking them.

It's not racist to pick a black character in a video game and nor is it a charicature. It is, therefore, not blackface ######


Prompt:
Had a new countertop and sink installed, and the countertop people don’t do plumbing, so I needed someone to install the new facet and disposal on the new sink.  I can do it myself, but it’s it what brings me joy, plus I’m working.  So I decide to just hire a plumber.

Company I called is well regarded, I explained clearly and in detail what I needed.  Dispatcher says they’ll send someone to look at it, they’ll give me an estimate, and if I have them do the work, a $70 trip fee will be waived. I agree.

They send a plumber and assistant out a couple of days later. For a faucet install, they want $199.  For the disposal install, they want $199.  For fitting the drain (apparently not included in your disposal install) they wanted $49. Add on another $58 for parts and supplies and tax.  Total bill: $505.

An hour’s work, 2 max?  I told the guy $250-500 per hour was more than a little unreasonable. He told me they don’t charge by time, they use “by task transparent pricing”.  Oh, really?  So the dispatcher could have told me the cost when I asked, but they decided to see if they could back me into a corner with an on the spot price and a $70 charge and no working kitchen sink hanging over my head.

I told them no, I would not let them do the work for $500.  He says OK, how would I like to pay for the $70 trip fee.  I declined to pay that as well; while I had agreed to it, I don’t feel compelled to pay if they’re going to be utterly unreasonable in their pricing.  I told him if their manager had a problem with it they could call me.

In the end I did the work myself in about 2 hours with $10 in parts, reinforcing my feeling that  $500 is a “fuck you” price.  I’m angry.

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Asking you to pay $70 for a quote was not done in good faith, not when this is something they could have at least ballparked over the phone. Something like, "It's going to be $400 just for the faucet and garbage disposal install alone, plus parts."

This was an attempt to use the sunken coast fallacy to charge a premium for work. A lot of people would decide "Well, I don't want to waste $70, so I may as well pay them to do the work." It's manipulative and you were right to send them on their way. ######


Prompt:
I want to be clear before we start, I TOTALLY understand that being pregnant has a multitude of different effects on different women. I understand that some women have it easier than others in terms of their pregnancies, like some women can work on their feet until the day the baby is born whereas some can't after 3 months; that is not the issue at hand. My wife has been out of work for 6 months due to recent things at her job, none of which are her fault. We have been trying for a baby for over a year with no results, besides IVF and have been working hard to have a baby.

With all this in mind my wife has taken it upon herself(from recent world-changing events) to say that *getting* pregnant is now her job. I completely disagree. She's stopped looking for a job now and has stopped any amount of side work she was initially doing as well. I said to her that her looking for a job would help with the income for our baby later but she says all the work required for making a baby has made it a full-time job. Now I don't necessarily disagree with her that this is a lot of work but I've been working 70 hrs/week for the past 6 months, I don't want to come home and find out I have to do 50% of the chores because she was "working all day" as she says. I find this to be a cop-out and quite frankly lazy and ridiculous. Now I never said this verbatim to her but these are my thoughts. AITA for this? ######

Response:
 NTA.

As someone who had difficulty getting pregnant I can say stress can play a factor.  However it doesn’t mean she should live completely stressed free while expecting you to carry the financial burden and also half of the house chores.  She can only do half of the job of trying to conceive.  She needs you to do the other half.

In fact, staying at home and becoming baby obsess is pretty unhealthy.  She needs to redirect her attention elsewhere (like working).

Edit: wow!  Thanks for the silver medal kind stranger! ######


Prompt:
There's an unofficial rule in my house that if you're cooking an evening meal from scratch, you make four portions of it.

Unfortunately, this limits _everyone_ to what my dad likes. And he is _very_ limited in that regard.

No pasta, no vegetarian meals, nothing too "foreign", and nothing "unusual. Basically he'll accept stews, casseroles, roasts, chops/steaks, and sometimes a mild to medium curry from a jarred sauce. I think the most "adventurous" thing I've seen him eat is haggis, but only on Burn's Night (or as close to as possible), and even then mum has to make a separate pot of plain mash for him (he won't eat tatties and neeps, just tatties).

If left to his own devices he'll live on nuggets and chips or cheese on toast.

I'm getting fed up of this.

I want pasta. I don't want to have to put meat into everything I cook. I want to try making random non-English dishes from the multitude of cookbooks in the kitchen.

I said as much to mum earlier. I told her I'm fed up of catering to someone whose palate is as unsophisticated as a toddler's, with less willingness to explore.

She thinks I'm being selfish, and that dad will be upset if I only cook for myself. I pointed out that if I'm chucking some nuggets in the fryer or making beans on toast, I'm only feeding myself then.

AITA for not wanting to cook for a picky eater any more, so I can eat more things I actually like? ######

Response:
 NTA.

As a kid growing up, I can't count how many times my father told me "yiou eat what we prepared". And as a child I was told... "If you don't like it, you can cook your own meal or go hungry".

The same should apply when the children start cooking for the parents. They don't like it? Cook your own meal, or go hungry.

It's a classic example of a wannabe alpha male trying to exert pressure. Dad wants a meal? He eats what's put before him. Otherwise he can cook his own meal.

Don't enable the bully. ######


Prompt:
So, I had this big pot with menstrual cups in it on the stove. The pot was sort of covered with a lid and when I left the kitchen for a few minutes my roommates  boyfriend (34) apparently walked in and checked what was inside the pot. He gave me a weird look when I returned, but I didn't think anything of it.

Later, roommate (Jade, 28) came up to me and told me not to do that again. I asked 'do what?' and she said 'you know what, dont play dumb, boyfriend was so embrarassed'. When I realised what she was talking about, I sort of laughed and said something like 'he knows what periods are, right? '

She got offended and said i was the one being weird, the cups were like underwear and it was basic courtesy to not have them out where anyone could see them. Also, she isnt 'banning' boiling the cups, but I have to do it in a private space.
I just told her that it was my house too and I can use the kitchen for whatever I need but she didn't take that well and said that I wouldn't understand because I dont have a bf??? Now she's being all cold and only talking to me when she needs something .
I told my sis and she said I needed to grow up and realise that people were weird about certain things and I should humour her because its such a small thing. Which, ok, Jade is generally pretty cool but this seems so ridiculous. Also, I have no idea how I'm supposed to boil the cups in the bathroom? Dont they need to be at boiling temp for a bit?AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Are you supposed to sequester yourself during your "unclean" time, too? Periods are a normal function and need to be treated as such. It's not like you were free-bleeding on the furniture, FFS. ######


Prompt:
Obligatory on mobile etc. I’ve lived with my flatmate for close to a year now and she’s been in a long distance relationship for maybe 6 months or so. We used to be super close but since she got into a relationship we’ve drifted as she wanted to spend more time with her new boyfriend (this is not the issue at hand).

The problem is whenever he comes over they have the most aggressive, animated, liquid-sounding sex I have ever heard in my life. We have quite a small flat and her bed backs onto the wall where my head is to sleep so I get to hear the full X-rated 6 hour show every weekend. I’ve mentioned this to her before as my radiator was vibrating from the intense passion emanating from her headboard for 4 hours straight one evening and she pulled her bed away from the wall. The issue is, I can hear every slap, grunt, moan, wail, growl that is uttered during these steamy sessions and it’s truly terrifying.

We’re all adults here and I’ve got no problem with her getting some but the issue is sometimes they end up giving each other a round of applause for hours on end. The lack of sleep I’m getting from hearing their amateur porn is becoming a real issue.

WIBTA if I asked them to tone it down? Also, how the fuck do I approach it without sounding like a jealous prude that wants to go join in? ######

Response:
 NTA.

And I have ideas!

Make a game out of counting their orgasms. Keep score on a whiteboard and congratulate the loser each morning.

Suggest that their impressive stamina and mutual enthusiasm deserves to be shared with a wider audience... have they considered monetizing their exuberant sex life? Bonus points for a PowerPoint presentation.

His and hers ball gags for the next birthday, anniversary, or gift-giving religous holiday of your choice.

Leave business cards for a local motel scattered around the apartment. If you're feeling extra courteous, jot down the hourly rate on a Post-It note.

Search for one of those "20 sounds that make dogs bark" videos on YouTube and play it loudly on repeat the next time they start going at it. Bonus points if you actually have a dog to join in the chorus!

Casually ask for a safe word you can tap in morse code on your mutual wall the next time they get too loud. Demand aftercare and ice cream; you deserve it. ######


Prompt:
Okay so hear me out, I know that the title makes me seem straight up like an asshole but I have my reasons.

I live in a very close nit neighbourhood in the UK mostly made up of terrace houses, I live on the end of the street and only have one next door neighbour, and they are neighbours from hell. When we moved in 10 years ago, within days we had been told to "fuck off back to our own country" (we're british, so idk), they called the RSPCA on us because our cat kept using their front garden as a litter box while they were working on it, it was mostly sand, and every time I saw her doing this I cleaned it up and apologised, accused my younger brothers of egging their house (they did have eggs on their patio but upon later inspection they found out they were pigeon eggs that had fallen from a nest in their roof but they never got an apology) and various other things, we usually get a knock on the door by the police every now and then for some bullshit complaint.

But their favourite one is to start a BBQ or Bonfire every single time we put washing outside to dry.

My solution to this issue is to play very loud (and slightly offensive) music right before I plan to hang it outside so they leave for the day (I haven't done this since lockdown because I don't think it would be fair considering the virus)

Ive tried being civil and asking them not to start fires right as I hang my washing and this has been occurring for 10 years straight but I got told to go fuck myself because they can do what they want when they want.

I could technically dry my clothes in the dryer inside but in the summer in an old house with no AC and poor ventilation it gets almost impossible to breathe.

But I have to know Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Also holy shit what dedication on your neighbors part. To put forth the effort to build a bonfire or BBQ everytime you hang laundry out for the last 10 years.

Like yeah they're assholes but you kind of have to respect that dedication a bit. Next next level petty. ######


Prompt:
I'm a middle school teacher. Once a week there's a meeting with the principal, vice principal, special ed teacher, guidance counselor and the 4 subject matter teachers. One of the things we talk about is particular kids and how they are doing. A few years ago we had a kid who had a spectacularly horrible home life (the school was in an upper middle class area so not that many troubled homes), and she was of course failing.  We spent months trying different things to help her. After about 3/4 through the year, the principal in  our meeting said we need to do more. I said school is not her main priority or her biggest problem and helping her more than we already are is above our pay grade. We need help. Can you provide some help  for us and for the kid?  No one directly answered me but the discussion continued.

About a month later, I was in the principal's office and she was criticizing me for something, I forget what. Then she brought up that meeting and said by me saying it was above our pay grade it was obvious that I didn't want to put in the effort to help the kid, I didn't care about the kid or my job, and that it was disrespectful to her and the vice principal to say basically they needed to handle it, not the teachers. I was really surprised and I do not think I was the AH. I actually said that because everything the teachers were doing didn't help and I actually cared what happened to the kid and wanted to get her some kind of help. I'm not a fucking psychiatrist or social worker so I legit couldn't help her.

I was going to make a throwaway but fuck it. So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Addressing a concern that you are in over your head and need additional resources is why that meeting should exist in the first place. If the principals just wanted to feel involved they could have sent out an email. They are the ones who should be getting you and the other teachers the resources you all need to do your jobs. There’s only so much you can do and they need to be team players and not arm chair quarterbacks. ######


Prompt:
I’m 30 and my 12 year old sister is living with me right now because mom and pops are vulnerable so it made more sense for me to care for my sis for the time being.

She is a really great kid and tbh I feel in a lot of ways like she’s my own kid because my mom and dad don’t speak English so I kind of had to raise my sis in ways that they couldn’t. Hard to explain but I’m sure anyone with a secondary culture will get what I mean- my mom and dad are great parents but having an English speaking person to guide you through shit when you live in an English speaking country is invaluable imo and my sister trusts me with stuff she won’t necessarily trust my parents with.

Anyway my girlfriend was FaceTiming me and my sister walked past in shorts and a t shirt cuz it’s hot. My ~~sister~~ gf waited til my sister had left the area ( but not the room) and made a face and said ‘maybe feed her less OP, her thighs are kinda chunky’

I saw red and told her to shut the fuck up (just came out my mouth) and immediately ended the call. My sister is a bit chubby but ffs who says stuff like that about a 12 year old girl.

Literally. Everybody. I. Know. Has been texting me that I’m a POS boyfriend and that how can I disrespect my gf like that. I am expecting an apology from HER but to my shock everybody is expecting ME to apologize.

So Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

12 year old girls are incredibly vulnerable to body image issues. You're absolutely right to shut down such comments immediately. ######


Prompt:
I am a recovering anorexic that has been through treatment and therapy for this disorder however, no one in my family knows anything about that at all.
I am 21 y/o F that has moved back home with my aunt because my university shut down and since I’ve been back every time she seems me eating she teases me about how my backside seems to be getting larger and today she asked if I have “looked in the mirror lately” because I “eat too much”.

To her it’s harmless games and just joking around. I can attest that this is just how her humor is, very crude and often times will cross a line.
She never hesitates to call other people in my family fat or to make “jokes” about random strangers she’ll see when we go out. It’s extremely embarrassing but at this point I’ve accepted that’s how she is and I just have to live with it for the time being. Usually when she’s conversing with other family members about their weight, their conversations are full of laughter and very light hearted.

I’ve been told by her and others that I am overly sensitive to things so I fear I may be over reacting. I know she’s genuinely not being malicious but it doesn’t make me feel good when she teases me every time I am eating around her.

Today I yelled at her for constantly being rude which made her really upset. She apologized and made it known that she was just joking and didn’t mean any offense by it. I feel a little bad for my outburst especially since she does not know that I am a recovering anorexic who gets extremely triggered when people mention my weight or comment on the frequency of which I eat.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

1. She's not joking, she's bullying.

2. She's not sorry, she is upset at being called off with truth.

3 even if you didn't have an eating disorder, her comments are rude and inappropriate. Someone genuinely worried about the health of someone else will not speak like this to that person.

If she honest to God does a 180 and flies right, great. Otherwise, keep your guard up and know that she's an AH. ######


Prompt:
I have lived with my roommate for about a year now. We’re both women. We get along fairly well, but have a recurring issue with her eating my food.

I recently went grocery shopping. I asked her if she wanted me to pick her up anything, and she said no. Now because we have had issues with her eating my food in the past, I have resorted to putting post-it-notes on my items to label them so there’s no confusion.

Last week, I had leftovers from dinner that I had been planning on eating the next day and when I woke up, they were gone. I questioned her about it, and got non-answers. I had extra time on my hands, so I decided to make a recipe and use a large amount of ghost peppers in it. I’ll be honest- I didn’t eat any. It was specifically for the purpose of catching her.

I was in my room and all of a sudden I hear her screaming, saying “what the FUCK” and trying to drink milk to calm the effects. I came out and said “How did this happen? I labeled the tray so you wouldn’t confuse it for yours” and long story short, she obviously caught on that I did it on purpose. She called me a bitch and will not speak to me. I’ve told some of my family what happened with mixed reactions, so AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

1. She took your food without consent.

2. She lied when asked about it. ######


Prompt:
My ex (20) and I (22F) were together for 5 years. In February, they said they wanted to marry me. The past two months (in quarantine), they’ve been talking about how they actually DON’T like me anymore and need some time to think about where this relationship is going. During that time, there were long stints of us “giving each other space” which meant going no contact for a week, two weeks, etc.

I was heartbroken of course. I was devastated, and I took the time they were “taking time for themself” to take time for MYSELF too. I processed my emotions and got really comfortable with the possibility of them leaving me. Well, lo and behold.

Two days ago they dropped the bomb and said they didn’t want to be with me anymore and gave me all the reasons why. I said “You need to know this is permanent. I have no interest in being your friend after we break up and if you leave me like this after five years I’m done.” And they essentially said YUP LATER!

So the next day I changed my relationship status and made a post publicly about how we had decided to end things, it was amicable, etc. just because so many people knew us as a COUPLE (after being together for FIVE YEARS).

Well they had the audacity to text me about how they’re pissed I moved on so fast and how they didn’t WANT to leave me, they HAD to leave me. I told them that’s fine, but they left me so they can’t exactly tell me how to feel and how to move on, especially after I had really been working through the POSSIBLE break up for over a month. They also told they’re pissed I’m advertising myself as single. I said “But I am single? You left me remember?”

What am saying is AITA for “moving on so fast.” This was my first REAL relationship and I genuinely want to know if I’m being an ass here. Thanks everyone! ######

Response:
 NTA.

>they didn’t WANT to leave me, they HAD to leave me

That's some 'Days of Our Lives' level nonsense. ######


Prompt:
As a little bit of background my husband had a motorcycle accident 3 months ago and his right foot had several fractures, he's doing ok now but it still hurts a lot when he needs to go down the stairs or needs to do strength related things. After the accident one of his friends took the motorcycle home and has been here since, given the stay at home order and the pain on his leg he hasn't been able to move the motorcycle at all. So I (I have no idea hot to ride a motorcycle) have been turning it on for a couple minutes every now and then (after he asked me to do it and explained the basics to me).

Last week I went to turn the thing on and it was completely dead, I have no idea how any of that works but I've seen him turn it on with a lever thingy on the side so I asked him to come downstairs with me and try it. He gave it a go but the pain was too much so he told me to do it, and as you may expect I was pretty unsuccessful.

Today during breakfast he said we would need a mechanic to check on the bike to know if it has any problems given it has been in the house for so long or if I was just incompetent. I asked him to elaborate and he said "I need to know if there's any damage to the ignition or if is just your incompetence that won't let it turn on".

I told him that word was kinda harsh and that he could probably say that in better terms, he is telling me he just used the correct word for not having the ability  to do something and that is not his fault I'm deciding to take the word as offensive and he's not responsible for the way I take his "context-appropriate" words.

The conversation just died then and we are not talking right now, I'm kind of expecting an apology from him but he says I'm making a bigger deal than it really is and that it should be me who has to apologize for ruining the mood, and now I'm wondering if I'm just being too sensitive about it, so AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>The conversation just died then and we are not talking right now, I'm kind of expecting an apology from him but he says I'm making a bigger deal than it really is and that it should be me who has to apologize for **ruining the mood**

What mood? The one where he was mean to you for literally no reason while you're trying to help him because he's projecting the insecurities that his injury is giving him onto you? ######


Prompt:
I(25f) got married this past fall. One of the guests was a friend I was close to in high school but we aren’t as close now. She is really good friends with one of my bridesmaids and we still hung out occasionally. She also invited me to her wedding a couple years before. So I invited her to mine.

This friend has a photography/wedding planning business but it hasn’t really taken off yet. During my wedding I saw she had her camera but I didn’t pay too much attention to what she was doing. She didn’t get in the way of the photographer so it wasn’t as issue.

A couple days after the wedding my husband and I were tagged in photos. She had posted pictures from the wedding with her watermark on them. One of the pictures was a candid shot of the flower girl. One of the groomsmen (father of flower girl) wrote a comment saying that she did well with his daughter and the friend wrote back that she wasn’t the photographer of the wedding and just a friend. He called my husband and asked if we could talk to her about taking down the picture of his daughter since she wasn’t the photographer and never asked permission to take his daughter’s picture let alone post it to promote her business.

I ended up PMing her and asked if she could take down all the pictures. I told her it was a nice gesture taking pictures but she didn’t ask and I didn’t feel right she was using them to promote her business. I also told her I didn’t feel comfortable she posted a picture of a minor without permission. To be honest I wasn’t a fan of the pictures and they were heavily edited but I didn’t tell her that. She did not take it well. She got very angry and called me an ungrateful friend. She did take the pictures down and then blocked me. We haven’t spoken since.

This happened a few months ago but friends still talk about it. Some friends are on my side and some think I was too harsh and say a good friend would let her keep them.

So I was curious, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>She got very angry and called me an ungrateful friend.

You're ungrateful she took advantage of you? I guess that makes sense in Crazyland.

>This happened a few months ago but friends still talk about it.

Well, on the bright side your friends network isn't very drama or trigger happy if *this* is the talk for months. Be happy for the little things?

>Some friends are on my side and some think I was too harsh and say a good friend would let her keep them.

But... you're not their good friend? You barely know them. Also, a good friend would have asked, oh, and maybe GIVEN YOU THE PHOTOGRAPHS. Seriously, she took a good camera to your wedding and doesn't share the photographs with you. I don't honestly care that much about FB drama, but that's just outright creepy. ######


Prompt:
My GF and I have been dating for 5 months. She and her kids were abandoned 9 months ago. Dude is POS. Never calls or sees the kids. One Father’s Day he took the son (16) for the weekend while not speaking to the two girls (11) (14).

So I tell the GF that I don’t think it’s a good idea to go on a date with me and leave the kids home alone. She says the 14 is with friends and I say then it’s worse a 11yo is alone for 6.5-9hrs. She gets mad and says she needs a life to and the kids don’t even pay attention to her.

I tell her it’s a shitty position to be in. Dad left because who knows. Mom is leaving for another man. Moms always get it harder. So in my eyes the kids will get mad at mom and then look at me as an asshole for taking the mom away.

I tell her it’s more common to leave for 2-3 hrs. No big deal. But 6,7,10 that is too long. She gets mad at me and life at that point .

I think it’s too early to spend time with the kids but I did meet the kids 3 years ago and they know me. ######

Response:
 NTA.

>She gets mad and says...the kids don’t even pay attention to her.

It's *her* job to pay attention to *them.* ######


Prompt:
I'm (27M) a dad to an amazing 3 year old boy, unluckily he is the result of a ONS with a girl (25F) Julie. For the first 7 months I never even knew he existed. One day I got a message on FB from Julie telling me I had a son, I think I passed out there and then on the spot.

I was living with my parents at the time and we arranged for Julie to come by in the next few days with the baby. I'm not going to lie I didn't do much talking that day I was still in shock. Through my mom and her talking it turns out her parents had pressured her into having the baby and raising it, but Julie just couldn't do it anymore and didn't want the baby anymore. After lots of talking and tears my parents and me made a plan of what to do next, lawyer, DNA test and courts. After all that and few months I end up with full time custody of our son, it wasn't easy but with the help of my parents we coped.

For about a year I had a bit of contact with Julie but she never visited, I'd send pictures when she asked how he was doing, but she gradually stopped messaging as time went on. Me and Julie never had a formal child support payment plan in place, call it ego I just didn't want to go that route and she would give me a little bit for food and diapers when she could. But that dried up when the messaging stopped.

There were times when I messaged Julie if she could help out and she always agreed, but she never came through and then stopped replying to me at all. After months of no contact my parents convinced me that I need to go back to court and get a formal order put in, which is what I did.

This is where the shit hit the fan...I just got a flood of messages from Julie telling me how I'm wrecking her life and not letting her move on, how I'm just as bad as her parents trying to force her to be a mom and how she never wanted to be a mom in the first place. I never pushed her to be a mom to our son, I just think that she needs to help out sometimes. AITA for forcing her to pay? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>Julie telling me how I'm wrecking her life and not letting her move on, how I'm just as bad as her parents trying to force her to be a mom and how she never wanted to be a mom in the first place.

This seems a bit hypocritical, since she kind of did that to you, showing up with a baby wanting you to take care of it. ######


Prompt: My biological mother came to visit 5 years ago. She and I don’t get along, but for the sake of my daughters I put up with her. During the visit she told my wife that she hates never having money. My wife told her that as a disabled vet (not a physical disability) she receives over 2k a month. It was clear listening to her that she had never taken a financial management class. So my wife started to school her. Mom says she can’t get a checking or savings account because of something unpaid from years ago. My wife decided to help her and co signed for an account. Fast forward five years and we get a call from a collection agency. Apparently mom had hit as many ATMs as she could and knowing that she had no money did not stop her. Eventually the bank cut her card off and cancelled her account and my wife’s account. My wife never uses that account and never realized what happened. Now they are calling and want my wife to pay for the almost 700 dollars. I haven’t spoken with my Mom in two years since she decided to make a huge scene at my Masters graduation. I’m debating if I should call the cops and press charges or if I should just suck it up and pay it since my wife did co sign. I’m out of patience and I can’t tell if IATA for wanting crush my mother or if she is for being a criminal. ######

Response:
 NTA.

>I’m debating if I should call the cops and press charges or if I should just suck it up and pay it since my wife did co sign

Both.  Your wife is on the hook to pay because she cosigned.  I don't know what the cops can do for you, but it wouldn't hurt to call and ask.  More likely, you'll have to settle this in small claims court. ######


Prompt:
My husband surprised me with a Switch Lite and Animal Crossing. My 11 year old wants to play it also. So I told him I will share it. The first time I played it he hovered over me repeating could he play it. My husband told me to just let him play.
So I did. He has been playing it for the last three days. I asked for it and he said he is busy trying to earn bells. My husband told me to let him play it because he is deep in the game and act like an adult. So I asked my husband to buy him his own game. He said one is enough. He said I can play when he is done and stop being sad over a kids game. Am I the asshole for being sad and mad about not play a silly game ######

Response:
 NTA.

>Aita Feeling like I had my gift taken away

First off, it WAS taken away. Second, even if it wasn't, you're NEVER an AH for any feelings. You might be an AH for actions, but never feelings. I hope you're teaching your son that, too.

>My husband surprised me with a Switch Lite and Animal Crossing.

It's YOUR device. Period.

>I asked for it and he said he is busy trying to earn bells.

Why did you take this for an answer? It's your property. He's your child. Why do you have no authority in your house?

>because he is deep in the game and act like an adult.

What? That's rude and dismissive. "Be an adult" would mean going in there and putting a password on your Switch so your child doesn't get to play YOUR Switch. If your husband wants to get your kid a Switch, that's different.

>He said one is enough.

...why does he get to make that decision by himself? What sort of a relationship do you have with him?

>He said I can play when he is done

So he lied when he said it was your device and game.

>and stop being sad over a kids game.

This makes my blood boil. Playing games is a hobby. Do you make fun of his hobbies? Do you make fun of movies he enjoys? I'm going to guess there are 'kids stuff' in there as well. That's dismissive, rude and I hope you bit his head off (figuratively) for being such a jerk. Video games revenue is $134 billion in 2018, while movies were $44 billion. Kinda good for "kids stuff."

The next time he tries to have ice cream, take it away because it's a "kids thing." Candy? Pizza? Kids thing. Any sort of action movie? Kids thing, or maybe teenager thing.

It really sounds like you need to re-evaluate your relationship. ######


Prompt:
I have asked my spouse to cut off communication between themselves, my children, and my father. I've presented this same scenario to a few different people, and the response is generally the same. I'm a big ole asshole.

About a year ago, I came out to my father as transgender. I've been transitioning for much longer than that, but since I am military and away from where he lives, it was never an issue before. He took it really hard at first, but we have been working through it together. Our relationship quickly declined after that news, but I was always hoping he would be able to see past my transition and treat me like his child still. For a while, he did, but I always suspected it was so that he could remain close with my two children, whom he adores greatly.

About a monthly ago, I legally changed my name. This was the final straw for him. He will no longer speak to me, and refuses to communicate with me in any fashion. He has blocked my cell phone number, written me out of his will, blocked my e-mail address and removed me from his Facebook. However, he continues to interact with my spouse and children. It hurts me immensely to hear them talking to my father on the phone as if nothing has happened. I really wanted to remain close to my father, but it seems that is no longer an option. My spouse is aware of the emotional toll that this is taking on me, but feels that robbing our children of that same relationship is unfair. While I don't necessarily disagree, I don't enjoy seeing them interact with my father as if everything is the same as it was before. It makes me feel like my spouse doesn't really have my back and is leaving me to deal with my shit alone.

So, Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

> However, he continues to interact with my spouse and children. It hurts me immensely to hear them talking to my father on the phone as if nothing has happened. I really wanted to remain close to my father, but it seems that is no longer an option. My spouse is aware of the emotional toll that this is taking on me, but feels that robbing our children of that same relationship is unfair.

Whoa. Big, whoa. That your spouse doesn't think treating you decently should be a prerequisite for interaction with them or your children is alarming. How is it depriving them to not allow a person who demonstrates such cruelty to have access to them?

> It makes me feel like my spouse doesn't really have my back and is leaving me to deal with my shit alone.

You're right about that. ######


Prompt:
For starters it's nothing against her ring at all. It's beautiful and has sentimental value.
It's just my parents are divorced and my siblings and I had a very crappy childhood due to abuse and neglect.
I have a semi steady relationship with both my parents but every time I look at my mothers ring it fills me with dread because I'm scared of my future being the same.
I'm currently wearing a temporary ring due to my mother's not fitting me and with everything closed I can't get it fixed until this pandemic is over but I'm starting to get attached to it even if it's a cheap Amazon ring.
I've talked to my fiance about it and he wants me to be happy so he is fine either way but I know it hurts my mom with me not wearing it when she was the one who gave it to my fiance to give to me.
I guess I want to know if I WBTA if I just give the ring back to my mother.
I'm not the first to get married out of her kids either. ######

Response:
 NTA.

> every time I look at my mothers ring it fills me with dread because I'm scared of my future being the same

That's a really, really good reason not to wear that ring.

Keep the cheap Amazon ring if it's special to you! It was given to you by someone who really loves you.

This really has nothing whatsoever to do with your mother. It's between you and your fiance. ######


Prompt:
CW: eating disorder and mental illnessy stuff. It’s okay though, we’re all good now.

This is going to sound like a very, very, weird troll post, or just something weird in general, but here goes.

Okay. So. I (M20) am gay, and have had (had) a friend from high school, “Rachel” (F22); who graduated earlier than me by a year. Recently, I discovered that Rachel has been going around talking about how she had anorexia in high school, and going in great lengths about her hospitalisation, down to which room number she was in. According to her, this breakdown was caused by my diagnosis with AIDs as a teenager, and it weighed heavily on her, because she was my best friend.

The first issue with that, is I don’t have AIDs. I’m not even HIV positive. The second issue with that, is she has never been hospitalised for anorexia. The third issue is that the details of hospitalisation she’s describing are my hospitalisation.

That was a fuckton to wrap my head around, and I wasn’t sure how I should act. Whilst I was deliberating, Rachel (last night), decided to hold a Zoom call for our friends for us to chill and hangout together. It went late to the night, and I wasn’t completely sober. Because that’s how I confront. We were talking about sex, and someone asks me how I’m dealing with the virus. Here, Rachel gets nervous, and tries to change the subject.

I laugh, and go “Dude, I dont know what you heard, but I’m cleaner than Rachel’s room.”

Yeah, that was petty.

Someone asks Rachel about it, and she’s evading it, and I’m like fuck it, if this is all coming out, so I add “I mean me having AIDs is about as true as you having had an eating disorder.”

At this she disconnects the call. She texts me later “If me lying upset you, you didn’t have to make it public,” and according to the friend group, she hasn’t been in contact with any of them.

I’m slightly hungover but I will do my best to answer questions, so AITA for handling it the way I did? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>  “If me lying upset you, you didn’t have to make it public,”

*She's* the one who made it public.

> according to the friend group, she hasn’t been in contact with any of them.

Sounds like a win all around. ######


Prompt:
My Chihuahua had 7 puppies recently. They are adorable and when they are old enough I will be finding them homes. My mom really wants one shes even offered to pay. But I do not want my mom having one of my puppies.

My mom is a hoarder, we cant visit her house because of all the clothes piled to the ceiling in every room multiple piles. Shes also an animal hoarder. A few years ago she got in legal trouble for having 56 dogs in city limits. Legally shes not allowed to have animals after that but she currently has 10 dogs, 2 cats and 2 fish.

I fear for the puppy if i allow her to take one. It will not get care amd will probably have to fight for food. My mom keeps guilt tripping me saying Im a horrible person, I would rather see the puppies go to abusive homes then hers. She's even offered $80 for just one. But I don't want her having one because my fear is it will be abused at her house. I will make sure all puppies find a loving home before giving them up.

So reddit Am I the Asshole for trying to protect my puppies from her? ######

Response:
 NTA.

“Mom. You already have animals illegally. I’m not going to participate in your breaking the law.” ######


Prompt:
So there is this trend on tiktok where girls put on the snapchat filter that makes you look like a man and see if it looks like their dad and then show a picture of him. I did that trend except instead of showing a picture of him I put an empty room.

It's a joke since I haven't seen my father at all since I was 6. I'm 17 now. I have reached out to my half-siblings and step-siblings and talk to them. I tried to reach out to my dad by asking them for his phone number from my siblings but he won't let them give me it.

I hate that he's absent but joking around about it makes me feel better. I want to post it because I think it's funny and think that my friends will find it funny. But my stepsis has a good relationship with him and it might piss her off. But she also has no idea how it feels to have an absent father.

WIBIA?

Also I'm aware a lot of y'all think Tiktok is stupid. I used to too but quarantine turned me into a Tiktok addict. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Our feelings about how our parents participate- or not- in our lives are valid. If it stings when that’s pointed out it’s probably because there’s truth in the allegation.

Go forth young one and tik tok away. ######


Prompt:
Have 2 kids, 12 and 15. It was 12 year old’s best friend’s birthday today, so I drove him over to the friend’s house. They’d be ordering pizza, playing Xbox, generic kid birthday stuff.

I dropped him off around lunchtime, and on the way back I noticed that the McDonald’s had reopened after the lockdown (and I’d been craving a burger). I went through the drive through and got 2 meals for me and 15.

When I got home it turns out that 15 had got too hungry to wait and had heated up some leftovers. He ate the chips and drink, but said he’d save the burger for dinner. I said fine, and didn’t think anything of it.

Few hours later, 12 is dropped back home and it’s dinner time. I’m serving up the pasta I’d made (which admittedly isn’t his favourite) my older one takes out his burger and microwaves it. 12 is then upset that 15 got Mcdonalds but he didn’t, and my partner agreed saying it was unfair.

The way I see it 12 got his special treat in the form of the Dominos so that was him done for the week. 15 hadn’t had any junk food in ages as me and the partner try to cook healthy and keep unhealthy food to once every 2-3 weeks.

My partner disagrees, because we so rarely get McDonald’s that it was in a tier above pizza but I really don’t see the logic in that. One kid got dominos and the other got McDonald’s so in my eyes they’ve both been treated fairly. ######

Response:
 NTA.

"It's his lunch. Did you have lunch?"

"Yes."

"What did you have for lunch?"

"[Birthday food]."

"Did your brother get [birthday food] for lunch?"

"No."

"Alright then. Do you want to hang out in your room for a bit while you figure out what this means?"

"No."

"Good. Let's heard no more about it." ######


Prompt:
Hey there,

First time posting. I (26f) was talking about our finances with my boyfriend (31m). He’s the only one working right now, I’m unable because of covid so I’m receiving CERB. We were going over paycheques and bills, when I noticed an extra 1000$ that wasn’t being talked about.

Backstory: his parents have lent him money recently, he also had an ex claim she was pregnant and then ran off with the child/block contact.

When I realized there was extra money not going either towards our bills, our house, or savings, I asked if he was sending money to someone this month. I just assumed he was paying back his parents, or maybe his ex had made contact and needed something for the baby. As soon as I asked he exploded with anger. Screaming at me accusing him of cheating. If it hurt his feelings and he actually thought I was accusing him, I’d have appreciated him just telling me that instead of screaming at me. He got so defensive and angry now I’m thinking there may be something sketchy going on. He was berating me of “not being happy until I get every penny out of him”, even though everything I have or make myself is put towards our house to secure a stable future together.

There’s been multiple red flags before, is this another one? Or am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA.

"Hey babe, I noticed this extra money here, maybe we can take care of some bills and..."

"WHAT?! I'M NOT CHEATING WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM?! WHO SAID I'M CHEATING?!!".

He's cheating. ######


Prompt:
I genuinely have no idea what to do here and I feel like I’m in the right and don’t need to back down!!!

I have long, thick, frizzy, wavy hair. When I go to sleep at night I rub coconut oil in it and put it into a French braid. This way my hair is nice in the morning, and when we sleep, my hair does not get in my husband’s face.

When carrying groceries up the stairs to our apartment three weeks ago (we do not take the elevator because of COVID as it can get crowded), I fell. I broke my collar bone, which was very painful. Because of the break, I obviously cannot braid my hair.

My husband complains that my hair gets in his mouth & on his face when he sleeps. It also gets trapped under his head/arm and is painful for me when I try to move. I have asked my husband if he can braid my hair for me so we can both sleep easier. He refuses.

His reasons are:
1- he does not know how (I offered to show him or have him watch YT tutorials)
2- he says it is not manly
3- he says I am a grown woman and can do my own hair. If I am incapable of doing so I should cut it (I cannot go to a salon bc of COVID).

This turned into a huge fight, I told him it feels like he does not care about me. He says I am being dramatic. I told him until he agrees to braid my hair, I will sleep on the couch, which he says is being petty. I feel so angry and uncared for, but yes maybe I am being petty?

So Reddit. Am I the asshole?

TLDR: broke my collarbone and cannot reach up to braid my hair at night like I usually do. My hair gets in my husband’s face and bothers him. He refuses to braid my hair. ######

Response:
 NTA.

"Fellas, is it gay to touch your wife?" ######


Prompt: Needless to say, I've bee dating this girl for a month and granted sometimes she likes to dress a little tomboyish every now and then but she lives an hour away and when she gets ready to leave my place to head home, I always find her putting on one of my outfits and trying to wear it when she heads home and I'm not just talking a shirt, I'm talking a shirt, pants, underwear, hat, etc, etc. Just last week she started to put on my belt and when I saw her I told her please not to use my belt because it's $40 and I use it every day because I only have the one. Well, guess what, she still wore it without me knowing and I have yet to see my belt back and he acts like when I bring this up that I'm so inconsiderate and she's going to bring it back and try to make me feel bad for being upset about her wearing my stuff when she shouldn't be touching it at all especially if she hasn't even asked if she can. Like when I found her wearing the whole outfit I kinda snapped and just asked her in what part of the world is it okay to put on someone else clothes without even asking and just start wear it when you leave to head back home and think there's nothing wrong with it and its okay. So when I snapped a little-told her a simple rule that I was taught growing up is #If it's not yours then don't touch it. Especially if you haven't even asked if you could touch/use/borrow the item that's not even yours in the first place." Well after gave her think a small bit of advice she started acting like a smart ass and saying sorry, just sorry for trying to look good for a job interview that I have. Sorry. (The outfit she was wearing what a untuck Buttondown with pink flamingos and levis boot cut khakis. That didn't even look interview worthy) So am I the Asshole. ######

Response:
 NTA.

*Especially* when she found out you literally only had one belt and she took it anyway after being explicitly told not to do so. It's not like she was taking extra stuff that wasn't being used (in which case she would still be TA for not asking) but she literally took a daily necessity! ######


Prompt:
So, a little bit of background.

My sister proposed to my mom the idea that her friends come up to our summer house for a week. My mom was super reluctant to say yes. But, on top of that, my grandma is here. My grandma said as long as they socially distance and we take their temperatures that it is ok to have them up here.

Well, my sister knew (and I just found out) that one of the friends families are hosting a pool party with about 20-30 ish people. My sister didn’t tell my mom because she knew if she did it would be cancelled. Obviously. I found out through a friend of mine and promptly told my mom in genuine fear of our health and especially my grandmothers. I had no motive other than that because I had some mutual friends I was happy to hang out with. My sister is now telling her friends what I did and now I feel guilty. I may be the Asshole because I ruined my sisters big plans. But I still feel like I did the right thing. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

**Your sisters feelings and entertainment are not more important than the health/life of your family.**

You did the right thing. Unfortunately doing the right thing isn’t always fun, easy, or comfortable.  Your sister should be the one who feels guilty, not you. Her behavior is cringe worthy. She was willing to put your grandmothers health at risk for her own entertainment. She seems entitled AF honestly- I can’t imagine thinking having a couple of my friends (who ignore social distancing) are worth the chance that my sweet MeaMaw contracts Covid-19.

**What your sister attempted  to do was manipulative, sneaky and shitty AF. I’m not sure if she’s ignorant to what’s going on it the world, but someone should remind her we are in a fucking pandemic.** ######


Prompt:
Okay so I'm 20 and I'm a bisexual woman. Recently, my niece came out to her parents and they were less than supportive. I'm not a confrontational person so to subtlety show my support for her I put "Bisexual" with a pride flag in my instagram bio because I knew my niece would see it. I don't usually tell anyone that I'm into women unless they explicitly ask.

My boyfriend saw it and got really mad. Like, fucking furious. He says that I'm in an relationship so there's no need to put my sexual preferences in my bio because I'm not "open for shop". He said that now girls are going to be attracted to me and guys are going to fetishsize me. He basically thinks this is a precursor to cheating.

He says that my bio and my "provocative" photos are giving people ideas.

I explained to him that I'm trying to show support to my niece but my boyfriend says that I don't have a choice. I either take it out or I'm leaving.

Am I an asshole? I understand where he's coming from. All his friends seem to agree with him but I have *zero* ill intentions. ######

Response:
 NTA.

**LEAVE THIS ASSHOLE**

1. He us acting like you're trying to put your sexuality out there because you want attention from others. This is who you are.

2. He said that you don't have a choice. Are you really wanting to be in a relationship where someone tells you that you don't have a choice in *anything*?

3. Leave him. You can find someone so much better than this trash. ######


Prompt:
Before anything- I am not currently pregnant but her daughter (bfs sister) is. We have talked a lot about marriage and kids recently so its casual conversation that's talked about lightly.

We recently visited my boyfriends parents house. After a few hours we were talking about his sister and his mother said that she was upset that due to hospital rules when the baby is born she wont be able to be there. She said that this is the first grandchild (she has like 10) that she wouldnt see being born.

I right away kind of brought up that when I have kids my boyfriend is the only person, besides the doctor and nurses obviously, that are allowed in the room. She initially looked hurt and said that she had been in the room for everyone and that she would stay by my head and talk. Again I said no and said no one is allowed to see that. But this is something I KNOW I will not and can't change my mind on.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

 You're giving birth, not her. ######


Prompt:
I'm F27 and my co-worker is M23, his GF makes him 3 meals a day and he brings in these amazing lunches to work all the time. He mentioned that she does all the cleaning, cooking, laundry and goes to school and has a part time job. When he told me that I was like wow you don't do anything at home? He just said work is stressful enough and she likes taking care of him. Yeah ok, I'm sure she does, is what I tell him. One day he brought in some lunch and asked if I wanted it because his GF didn't make the lasagna the way he likes it. I declined but heard him berating his GF on the phone about 5 mins later in the lobby of our office building. When we got up to the office I told him how he treats his GF is abusive and not right and he told me its none of my business and to stop prying in and spying on her personal life or he'll go to HR.... I told my girlfriend about this and she said that I'm a bit of an ass for confronting him about it and maybe it was just a one time blow up and I shouldn't get involved in his life.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. ######


Prompt:
I have 3 kids, 2 of whom look like carbon copies of my husband. My husband is a light skinned black man and I am white. My third child is very dark, much darker than anyone in my husband's extended family with the exception of one great aunt.

This led to a lot of "jokes" and snarky comments about my son not really being my husband's. My husband has never doubted me so it doesn't bother me too much when they're directed at me, but it makes me insane when people say things to my son. He got picked on a bit in school over this. It used to really bother him.

At one point, my husband's great uncle made a "joke" about it to my son and me, and my husband's great aunt (who is the only one who resembles my son in complexion) chimed in that clearly my son is the result of an affair between me and her. Since then, it's become a bit of an inside joke between my son and I and seems to have helped him a lot with the rumors. My husband's great aunt has long since died, but the inside joke lives on.

My husband's brother heard my son and I joking about it recently and went off at us for disrespecting his great aunt. He thinks it's rude to her memory and to her late husband to imply that she's a lesbian. I said that she made the joke originally, but he said we shouldn't repeat it because she was old and a bit less sharp at the time she said it. I told him we have every right to have this inside joke seeing as we've been the butt of so many "jokes" about my son's parentage. My husband says he supports me but that he wishes I had just agreed with his brother and didn't make jokes when he was around. AITA for making these jokes with my son? ######

Response: NTA..she literally started the joke, she’d probably want you to continue it in her memory. Also your brother in law is a homophobe which automatically makes him an AH. ######


Prompt:
I hate boats. I am deathly afraid of boats. Can’t stand them. Whenever I’m on one my legs start to shake and I can’t breathe. Now I don’t live in a particularly aquatic town so it’s a pretty easy fear to live with. I just don’t get on boats.

Everyone in my family knows this, including my step mom. But yesterday, my dad and my step mom sat my brother and I down. They said they booked a family cruise for September. I said no way in hell am I getting on a fucking boat.

My step mom says

“I know you don’t like boats, but it’s a large boat so you won’t even know your on one!”

Which is one of the stupidest things I’ve heard her say. I say yeah no, refund my ticket and I’ll go stay with my mom. Step mom starts bawling, and talking about how it’s “her dream to go on a cruise”. Which is so bullshit. Last week it was her dream to own a Tesla”

She says that I’ve ruined the family trip. I say that it’s not a family trip if she’s coming because she’s not family. Which was a low blow, I take full responsibility for that. But to me she’s still the women my dad cheated on my mom with. She starts crying even harder, and runs into her room and slams the door.

My dad is mad at me now, and my brother thinks I was being rude, which is true. I was. But I’ve been pretty clear that I will not get on a boat. And to clarify, she wants my brother and I to take two weeks off of school for this trip! It’s my first year of highschool and my brothers senior year so it’s kinda important that we don’t miss two weeks. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA...your stepmom set you up for failure. She knew you wouldn’t want to go, and she tried to spin it against you. She dangled the bait, and you took it.

So no, I wouldn’t apologize, but you’re a child living in your parents’ home. ######


Prompt: Hello all, first time poster. Today (well, yesterday 33 minutes ago) was my 29th birthday and my girlfriend of 4 years raised a point I honestly hadn't considered until now. When I was 3, my mother and father divorced and split custody until I was 18, with them both being remarried when I was in 3rd and 5th grade respectively. My dad has since passed on (2010) at 58 and my stepmother remarried again, so my mother and stepfather are the extent of my family (no siblings, distant extended family, all grandparents deceased). Anyhow, when I was 8, my mother and stepfather got remarried and I treated the whole process as normal until I actually started developing a little emotional intelligence and had someone who I trust ask how I felt about it. As a kid and young adult, I was very much a people pleaser and more or less assumed it was just something it was my responsibility to accept. As an adult of 29, it was a little irritating to see my stepfather post endless pictures of his anniversary celebration and I haven't heard from him yet. I know I shouldn't care but it's particularly irritating because I make a point of calling him on his birthday AND father's day every year, in contrast to several years where his own kids from his previous marriage (3, early 40s to late 30s) forgot. Anyhow, I appreciate any input as I process this for the first time in my life. ######

Response: NTA...your mom and stepdad are though. Seriously, who chooses their 8 year old kids bday to get married?!?! Talk about fucked up priorities...and to then just treat it like it’s ONLY your anniversary? That goes above and beyond being an asshole. ######


Prompt:
My granddad was a huge influence in my life. My relationship with my mother was rocky at the best of times and whenever she kicked me out (which was often) he let me stay with him. When I turned 18 I went low (but not a complete lack of) contact with mum and lived with granddad for a while before going to uni, and he made clear that I'd always have a home with him. He passed when I was 22 and left me the lion's share of his estate. My family were upset with this and tried to get the will overturned, and failed, but this is when I went full no contact with them.

Granddad's name was Charles, and when I found out I was pregnant I asked my husband how he felt about using Charles for a boy or Charlie for a girl (fake names but same concept of using the gender neutral version of granddad's name). He said he loved it. So my daughter is called Charlie after granddad. I don't know how granddad would have felt about it, but I hope he'd have liked it.

My siblings reached out, asking me if I would be willing to catch up and maybe stay in touch. I agreed. Many of them hadn't met Charlie yet so introducing her was part of catching up. Hearing Charlie's name caused a pause and then "as in granddad Charles?" and I confirmed it.

My sister, who has a son named Charles, also after granddad, is not happy. She's said it's disrespectful to change the gender of the name and that I should have asked someone for permission because she knew Charlie was born over 5 years after granddad passed away. She said she'd asked granddad for permission before he passed and now we have a Charles and a Charlie. She's started calling Charlie by her middle name as a sign of respect to granddad.

AITA? ######

Response: Nta...now you have your excuse to kick the whole family. ######


Prompt:
My grandpa is old and need constant care and my family (mom, dad, sister and brother) are over to help him out, also my cousin's family is here (aunt, uncle and cousin).  We don't live there but we kind of do right now, my grandpa has a pool in his backyard and I LOVE to swim.  I do competitive swimming so I am a very good swimmer and I am almost always in the pool and swimming around or near the pool or just in the back yard.

I lost track of time and while I was swimming it was time for dinner (he eats around 5 and likes he whole family at the table).  I was still swimming and so I put on a quick hoodie and a pair of sweats and ate dinner.  I didn't notice but the bikini straps were showing and I had no idea after dinner.

Me and my sister share a room right now and she said that my straps were showing, I was embarrassed but didn't really see anything too wrong.  She got annoyed and said I should dress more "modestly" in front of the rest of the family, I told her to calm down and it was a mistake.  She said that its still bad and I should be more mindful of the rest of the family.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA...how old is your sister? If she's young I can see why she said that. Usually younger girls think that you're not supposed to give any indication whatsoever that you're wearing a bra or something. ######


Prompt:
It’s my boyfriends adult sons birthday next week. My boyfriend volunteered me without my permission to clean his entire house. I told him no and he got very mad at me. He has volunteered me to clean other relatives/friends houses too.  He said I was being selfish and lazy. I know it’s his birthday, but I’m certain he can clean his house.

***Edit- I live in a country that wasn’t hit hard by the virus so parties under 10 are allowed.*** ######

Response: NTA...are you a housekeeper? Why does he keep doing this? ######


Prompt:
I am a preschool teacher. My niece (4) has really struggled to learn her letters and numbers mostly because my brother and SIL think it’s the school’s responsibility. I try to teach her when I see her but I have explained she needs to be ready for kindergarten next year. Most of my class knows their ABCs, can count up to a certain number, etc.

Niece has no diagnosed learning disabilities and when I teach her, she’s attentive and wants to learn. It just doesn’t stick because I don’t see her often and brother and SIL do fuck all.

My brother and SIL also think it’s “cute” when she miscounts when playing a game or when she gets a letter wrong. I don’t play along and redirect her to learn.

I recently told my brother (again) that he needs to get on top of teaching her. He shrugged me off. I said her not knowing things wasn’t “cute” and that her charm won’t carry her in life. This offended him and he told me that I was insulting his child. I said no, it’s not her fault. It’s on him.

Now we’re not speaking. My mom says I should apologize. I don’t think so. AITA? ######

Response: NTA..... Teacher here..... Two important factors are 1) Is the kid watching Sesame Street during the day and 2) Is the parent even trying to sing the Alphabet with them?  The biggest factor for a child's growth is that the parents are trying SOMETHING to show an interest in their kid.  His "Let the school handle it" is starting his kid off at a disadvantage.  Tell him AT LEAST to have the kid watch Sesame Street. ######


Prompt:
I don’t know how much I can talk about it, but I’m waiting on a claim to go to court that I am most likely getting a good chunk of money from. Obviously only close family like my mum know the details.

 Any time the case is talked about among the family my mum immediately jumps to “we’ll be going to Disneyland with that money”, “I can’t wait to get a new suite”, or “you’ll have to give me half of it”. She always says these things ‘as a joke’ but time after time, without failure, anytime I try and make any decision that she doesn’t agree with she gets huffy, shouty, and gets older family members on board to sway me to her side, so I know what to expect when the time comes.

I’m not gonna lie, it hurts me that my mum has never asked or even seem interested in what \*I\* want to do with the money. I was thinking of putting it towards a car, Uni, or new furniture and such for my room (which is probably the most selfish option, but I study art + design and currently don’t have any space or the right resources to work from home). Maybe there’s a way to meet her half way, but at the very least I wish I could get a little bit of input.

At the minute I do live at home, and all my benefits go directly to my mum so I don’t have to worry about paying rent. But considering I don’t work, is that enough? Am I being selfish and making my family miss out because I planned ahead when I should’ve asked them first? What should I do when the time comes? ######

Response: NTA.... it’s your money, right? only you can decide what to do with it. it’s not selfish to use it on necessary things, like a car or to help pay for school. ######


Prompt:
My roommate works late night shifts, so she often sleeps during the day. Me, I am doing online classes, but for various reasons my schedule tends to be unpredictable - sometimes I'm nocturnal, sometimes I'm not. This is well known.

&#x200B;

My roommate's boyfriend likes to come over while she's sleeping and cuddle with her while she's asleep. She knows it, she's fine with it, it's happened before. She thinks it's romantic.

&#x200B;

Usually, I don't care one way or the other what they do. But the one thing I requested was some warning before he comes over. I've let him in while she's sleeping before, but that's when he texts me first to say he's coming and gives me time to at least make sure I have pants on.

&#x200B;

A few minutes ago, the buzzer went off. I ignored it because we don't usually let people in without notice and the people down the hall tend to have parties where they ring the wrong door anyway. I didn't realize it was the boyfriend until he starts trying to call me on messenger. I didn't answer, because I'm "asleep." So he keeps buzzing, which is setting the dog off, which is going to wake my roommate, which I think is pretty fucking thoughtless of him since she works at night.

&#x200B;

I \*could\* have gone to open the door anyway, as it's not his fault my schedule is erratic and I don't wear many clothes in my own room. I could have done it just so she wouldn't be woken up. But all I asked for was warning and I didn't get any warning.

&#x200B;

AITA for not letting him in? ######

Response: NTA.... If they are going to be like this, they need to get their own damn apartment together. ######


Prompt:
So. the tech support company that we pay needed to reinstall software after we factory reset the computer.

Not a big deal, when we got the computer it took about half an hour to do it all.

Now, today I had an appointment so I just dropped it off. We know the owner, he married me and my husband so there's a good deal of trust.

It wasn't the owner but one of his workers. How badly could things go? They are installing their anti-virus/malware and TeamViewer, along with setting up an admi account for my husband and I.

 I told him the admin password to use, I WROTE IT DOWN . And well, the password they set? ....a number is the same and there's 2 same letters in the 12 letter password.

He did not install TeamViewer or the anti-virus. He added a "primary" admin account that neither my husband or I have access to and that monitors everything on the computer.

We can no longer install/update anything. I've been texting the owner and once I laid out all the issues,he started ignoring me until my husband texted him.

This is my computer, not my husband's but both the owner and employee refused to do the simple thing I requested and ignore me. Apparently as a woman I don't know computers.

I'm furious. I've been ignored, my privacy invaded.  How can I fix this myself without involving the tech support company?I  no longer trust them.

My husband is furious about the monitoring software.

Would I be the asshole if I left reviews detailing this on yelp and Facebook? ######

Response: NTA... you would be an asshole if you didn’t leave bad reviews! ######


Prompt:
Last week my parents and I had a serious discussion concerning life insurance. They are, by no means, expecting to pass anytime soon. However, they felt the need to have this set up now and speak with me about it.

The topic of my younger siblings eventually came up. I’m about 16 years older than both of them and I’m 23 currently. They simply wanted to know who should become their legal guardian should anything unfortunate happen. Unsurprisingly, their first option was myself. Their second option is my aunt whom they both trust immensely.

They explained to me that, if anything should happen to them, that I would have to prepare to care for my two siblings. They phrased it in such a way that I’d most likely have to move, find a different job, and raise them with my fiancé. They also told me that “it would be easy” because this life insurance would be helping me financially.

I declined fairly quick. My mom was completely understanding, which I appreciated. However, my stepdad seemed bothered by my decision. He didn’t say anything beyond “but they’re your brother and sister” and “you should be there for them”. Yeah, I love them unconditionally, but I don’t even want kids of my own! And the idea of my life potentially changing so drastically terrifies me.

They haven’t brought it up again since, but I’m starting to feel a bit guilty about my choice. I definitely feel selfish, but... I feel like it’s my right to say no? On the other hand, my stepdad’s words make me feel like the asshole here. ######

Response:
 NTA... you are not obliged to look after your siblings.

I was in a similar situation, social services decided my brothers kid needed to live elsewhere and got in contact with myself.... was a long resounding ‘noooooo’ and I have two of my own. (Other family was found willing)

As much as you love these children, if you can’t give them your all then I fundamentally believe it’s better for them to be looked after by family who can. ######


Prompt:
for context: i 19M am a really big, overweight and somewhat hairy guy. when i am home, i love to be without a shirt because i get pretty hot (especially now with spring being here) and really sweaty, plus it's more comfortable.

i lived alone up until january this year. i pay all my bills and go to work everyday. in february, my uncle went homeless and needed a place to stay, so i decided to give him a hand just so he had somewhere to stay. he sleeps in my living room since i only have 1 bedroom. he cooks and cleans everyday, so i have no problem with him not paying rent until he gets a job.

with it getting warmer now, along with the stay at home orders going on, im home more often, and when i'm home, i absolutely hate wearing a shirt. i of course will wear something if i have company mostly because i do get self conscious, but other than that i go shirtless. since my uncle moved in, i don't go shirtless around him often, but i've grown to be more comfortable around him and not care if he sees me without a shirt. recently he asked me if i please wear clothes around him because it makes him uncomfortable to look at my body. it kinda hurt but i told him it's my house, and if he didn't like it, he can go. i don't get up in his business or hang around him. i spend 90% of my time in my room and only see him if i go to the kitchen to get food or talk to him for like 5 mins, so he doesn't see me frequently. i thought about it and maybe he has a point? i just want some unbiased opinions about this. ######

Response:
 NTA... that’s very strange. I don’t even have much to say because of how strange that is to me.

It’s your house. Wear whatever you want. ######


Prompt:
My friend(anna) and I live in the same town. We went to high school together and were pretty close friends since then.I moved into the current city I am living in for work and she moved to the same city a year ago with her girlfriend after her homophobic parents kicked her out(she came out to her parents at the age of 20 and hid it from them until then).

A few weeks ago,anna and her girlfriend had  a messy breakup and anna asked whether she could move in with me till the lockdown ends. I said yes.

I live alone with my 2 year old dog.

Its pretty hot where I live and both me and anna usually wear a bra and shorts at home. A week ago while we were having homemade pizza,a small bit fell on her thighs and instead of picking it up she called my dog and made him eat it(lick it off from her thighs). I found this a bit odd after she commented how warm and big my dog's tongue was but didn't comment.

After that incident, I saw this happening multiple times and grew more and more uncomfortable and tried telling this was weird asf.

She laughed it off saying that it was just funny and she missed her pet from her parents house.
Today,a few hours ago,I was coming out of my room after a meeting when I saw her applying nutella on her chest and on her nipple and have my dog lick it.

I was APPALLED and DISGUSTED.  she saw me while my dog was licking her and pushed my dog away and covered herself and tried to laugh it off as usual.

I was very angry by this point and told her I was going to kick her out immediately and what she did was disgusting and there was no excuse to it.

I meant it as a threat and a warning but she is refusing to apologise and is crying and accusing me of making her already difficult life  more difficult while completely avoiding the issue and now I am actually thinking of kicking her out.

WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA... That's just... Jesus.. ######