Prompt:
So we had a cat appear around our house eating the food we put out for the jack rabbits and magpies. I noticed her and put a little extra out and over the course of four or five days, I realized that she was eating all the food as fast as possible. After a week, she let me get near and feed her all she could eat which was a truly shocking amount of food. I suspected she was young and pregnant. Got her into the house that night. Took photos and posted Found Cat ads.

Took her to the Vet next morning to check for a microchip. Cat has no ID, and no one has reported a lost cat matching her description. Vet checked her over and cat was very young, pregnant and starving. The outcome for her the kittens was grim. The Vet didn't expect her to survive the birthing process, and kittens had been starved since she became pregnant, if they survived labour they would most likely starve because the cat was too thin to produce milk.

I was offered a variety of solutions to deal with the cat including trying to find an open shelter to take her; abandoning her; hope her owners appear before labour; et cetra. I chose the final option, claim her as mine and have the termination spay done. The Sassy Princess was last spotted doing the algebraic calculation of how to spread out her tiny body to take over the largest amount of space on a queen size bed possible.

I have had several friends outraged that I took a potential owner's right to choose whether their cat has the right to have kittens away. Someone else accused me of not caring about the kittens and not wanting them and being a kitten killer. I have argued that if the owners did show up, I would return the cat if the paid the hefty vet bill. As for being a kitten killer - yep I chose one life over that of her babies because it was the life I knew I could possibly save. AITA ######

Response: Nta. Here's a dirty little secret animal shelters that have spay neuter release programs do this all the time. The last thing an area that has strays is more kittens being born. Also if the mother is that  malnourished the kittens could have an array of genetic abnormalities that would be very expensive to house and treat. Also if a shelter had this cat come in, there is a stray hold time that varies from place to place but usually in a week or less. After that amount of time the animal is considered their animal and they would do the exact same thing that you did. ######


Prompt:
To preface this I'm 23 (m) and she's 20 (f), I quit smoking cigarettes for her when we started dating 2 years ago. That was a deal breaker for her and I respected that and chose her over my vice. Fast forward 2 years and now she's coming into her own and finding herself and wants to "go wild instead of being responsible" (her words). She started vaping with nicotine and sneaking alcohol into her parents house and wants to experience all types of drugs and not have restraints or feel obligated to not do stuff because of someone, which is likely me and her parents. We live in Tennessee which has harsh drug laws and I'm staunchly against drug use, which I've made clear.

I told her that her starting vaping upset me because of the stink she made about me smoking and telling me to quit, which I did. I told her about my experiences being addicted to nicotine and how I don't want to see her go through that. She says by all means start smoking again because it wouldn't be fair. However I think she helped me by taking that stand and it really pains me to see her start an addiction (which she admits shes addicted) especially to something that is supposed to help smokers quit. She said sorry, but blew me off. I didn't tell her to quit I just told her how I felt. I've also told her that doing drugs is a deal breaker for me to which she didn't really respond. I've just pretty much told her to do what she wants at this point and whatever happens, happens. I don't want to be the controlling guy or tell her what to do. But deep down I want her to choose me. Am I the asshole in this situation. ######

Response: NTA. Her vaping after you quit smoking after she asked you to is hypocritical and seems like a red flag. ######


Prompt:
When I moved in 2011, I changed my phone number. I never got a call from anyone asking for someone else, until about 2016. Every so often, I would get a call for this chick. If it was just a scammer, I wouldn't have worried about it, but I started getting calls about her doctors appointments, like OBGYN. I always said I don't know her, but it was still annoying. The problem was that I didn't know who this chick is. The first name is common, but the last name isn't. I couldn't even look her up on any social media because I didn't know how to spell it.

Anyway, I went to Petsmart today. They asked me for my phone number for the rewards. Then the screen popped up on the pin pad, and the cashier asked if that's correct. Note: I always a Petsmart rewards thing forever, and when they changed the program few years ago, I gave them my info again. So they should have MY name and email, right? But nope, it's that chick. She changed the info to hers. I didn't get her email, but I figured out how to spell her last name.

I looked her up on social media and found her. Some people said it might not be a good idea to reach out. Would I be an asshole to tell her to stop using my phone number for everything, especially for medical purposes? ######

Response: NTA. Her number might be 1234 and yours is 1243? Give her a chance to prove she not an ah. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about two years. As a fat kid in high school, I really wanted to change how I felt about myself, and I transformed myself during my stay in college, to the extent that I was fairly ripped all the time and had abs.

This was when I met my girlfriend. She has never been to the gym in her life and hates excising. I have never forced her to do anything, or even hinted at her to change herself. She has gained 20 pounds since we were together, and I genuinely think her body is perfect all the time.

I worked 20 hour shifts in the hospital for a couple of months, and had to live there for 2 weeks. Obviously, with the gyms closed and me feeling too exhausted, I put on a few pounds and lost my abs. I was completely fine with this. But the moment I got the chance to spend a few days home after being quarantined at the hospital, my girlfriend's first reaction was disappointment for not being ripped. I was honestly tired and just went to sleep, but she kept pinching my 'fat' areas like my love handles and asked me when I would get rid of them.

At this point, I honestly just wanted a few days off and was very annoyed at her persistence. She got angry at me and told me that sex was off the table until I had abs again, and I lost control of myself at this point.

Basically told her how she knew absolutely nothing about exercising and was being a tyrannical asshole, how she should just start exercising if she thinks it's that easy, how her body doesn't require any hours at the gym to maintain while I just want to enjoy some good food after my shitty experience at the hospital cafeteria. I asked her to  do a single push up in front of me, and she failed, so I told her how big of an idiot she was being for expecting me to be in the mindset of exercising all the time.

EDIT: Just want to give the full context, so I have let my ugly side out too, thanks for any judgement ######

Response:
 NTA. Her loves sounds super conditional to me. "I'll only sleep with you if you look a certain way" is basically what she said. You said she's put on weight but you think she's still perfect and I personally would want a partner that feels the same way about me.

You shouldn't feel bad about snapping at her and I'm sorry she body shamed you and used sex as a weapon against you. That's abuse my dude, I would seriously consider reconsidering your relationship and what you want. Hope things calm down for you soon. ######


Prompt:
My 5 year old had been going to my mother in laws house pretty regularly for overnights, 2 or 3 times a month, per her request. In all my years of parenting, I have made it loudly, unmistakably clear that I do not use physical discipline on my children, and she is not to either. Ok, she doesnt agree but will respect it.

Fast forward to about 8 months ago (this is my MIL story and my daughter essentially concurred), my then 4 year old was in the bath and my MIL was helping her, and my child got shampoo in her eyes and started to cry and panic, so she splashed water on my daughters face to "help" and she lost it. She screamed and wailed because she couldnt see and had water up her nose now, and my MIL couldnt figure out the issue and there was another sleeping baby in the house, so she smacked my childs bare wet ass to "calm her down and stop the noise" (huh?) Instead of grabbing her a towel to dry off her face or offering comfort.

My daughter still doesnt understand why it happened and brings it up occasionally. Its created a huge rift in the family dynamic and relationship, but my MIL still doesnt feel like she did anything wrong. I'm very bitter about it still and have been a little controlling over visits since then.

So reddit, am I the overreacting asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Her logic is weird?! ######


Prompt:
So I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months now and we’ve been having sex for a few months. Most subjects we agree on pretty much completely and if not it’s not a big deal, everyone’s different. One of the topics that have come up is abortion and she says she is pro choice which I am too. My lizard brain didn’t think this through and assumed if we had a slip up we would go that route because that’s how it was in my past relationships.

Today on a car ride she mentioned she’s pro choice but personally wouldn’t be able to have an abortion which is fine, that’s her choice. I told her that it’s my fault that I didn’t bring up the subject and that it was wrong of me to assume, but right now I’m in college and still have 3 more years left. I think I might want kids someday but I couldn’t have them now. I told her I don’t feel comfortable having sex anymore for awhile at least because I don’t want an accident to happen even though we are generally pretty safe.

Because if something did happen right now I’m not sure if I could stick around. And wouldn’t want to put anyone, especially her in that situation.

Right now she’s upset that I’ve had sex with her before but won’t right now and saying that I’m being unreasonable.

AITA for not wanting to have sex? ######

Response: NTA. Her interest in an abortion was different than what you thought, meaning she would keep it. Sex is consensual, and if one party wants to abstain because the other does not want to get an abortion, they are not an asshole. If she gets mad at you for not having sex with her, tell her that what she said just made you uncomfortable with being in a sexual relationship with her and that you choose to abstain as of now. ######


Prompt:
**Not recent but we are still arguing over this**

My sister was adopted when she was 9, I was 17 at the time so we aren't exactly besties which makes this more tense.

She's always struggled to move on with life, she's had countless therapists and has only just started to move on with her life.

When my sister was 19 she started to drink, since I wasn't living locally I only knew she had a problem about 4 years into it.

She's (28F) since cleared up her act, her partner even proposed and they're talking about having children when she's sober for long enough (she's been sober for 10months now and she wants to wait till she's been sober for 2-3 years)

8months ago we were having dinner with my parents and I got myself and my husband a drink.

The entire family went silent, like I'd done something profoundly evil.

And when my sister left my mother pulled me aside to tell me how wrong it was to drink in front of my sister who's struggling and my sisters partner hasn't had a nice word to say to  me since (we avoid each other)

Well, we were on skype with the family recently and I mentioned the biggest struggle was how every  food I used to enjoy makes me nauseous now.

My sisters partner said "oh, I'll make sure to eat that around you then like you did with *sisters name*" in a snarky tone, my sister butted in to say he was joking.

I exited the chat and told my sister I expected an apology from him.

She replied "*where's my apology when you saw me struggling and continued to drink?*"

I don't think I did **anything** wrong! They frequently go out to meals and she wouldve seen someone drinking then, I can't shield her from every little thing.

AITA? I'll apologise if I am. ######

Response: NTA. Her fiancé is though. ######


Prompt:
My roommate approached me today and said that her friend (who i've never met or heard of) had to move out of the dorms in a week and since he lived in Germany he could not go home for the summer.
Essentially she had told him he could stay at our apartment (2 bed 1 bath) for a month and was wondering if it was okay with me. I told her it made me uncomfortable to live and share a bathroom with a stranger and that I wasn't okay with him living at our apartment.
I feel bad since he does not have any other options and my roommate was trying to sort something out for him but I have social anxiety and would not be able to easily do daily necessities with him there and it would be a violation of our lease agreement. She is moving out in June while I'm renewing the lease so I am at risk if we get caught and she doesn't know about my social anxiety.
Am I the asshole for not letting him stay? ######

Response: NTA. Her fault for telling someone they could stay over while not consulting you about it. Tell her to tell German guy that it's not gonna happen ######


Prompt:
First off I'll explain our family. When I met my husband he had a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Her name is Alexandra. I married Alex's dad when she was five. So technically I'm her step mom. Alex's mom is also remarried. She calls both me and her bio mom "mom" and both my husband and her step dad "dad". All four of us think of her as a daughter and she lives with her mom and stepdad 50% of the time and me and my husband the other 50% of the time. Basically she has two sets of parents. Sorry if i worded it confusing.

I don't really have any problems with Alex's mom even though she is a bit on the conservative side. Meaning she thinks tampons take your virginity. She has told Alex that she doesn't want her using them. The problem is that Alex is 14 now and wants to by on the swim team when the schools reopen. Me and my husband also have a pool in the backyard and swim a lot in the summers. She says that she doesn't like being the only one who can't swim when she's on her period.

One day Alex was staying at our house and she told me how worried she was about having to deal with her period when she starts the swim team. She also disclosed to me that it's not fair that all of her other friends get to use tampons.

Later that night I bought her a box. I told her that they would stay at our house in the bathroom and she could use them whenever she needs them for swimming. And said that her mom didn't have to know. I feel back and have never gone behind her bio mom's back like that before. However, I grew up with a conservative mom like that. I understand that it can lead to things that cause embarrassment (for instance swimming in a pad). I didn't want Alex to have to go through something like that like I did.

I feel like I did right by my daughter but still feel a bit of guilt. Aita? ######

Response: NTA. Her bio moms outdated views about virginity are affecting her negatively and they don’t even make any sense. You did what objectively was best for her and should feel bad about it. However you should get your husband on the same page so if bio mom does find out you weren’t making a unilateral decision. ######


Prompt:
AITA For Yelling at a Trans Coworker?

I (22F) have been working at a clinic with Samantha (25F) for the past few months. Recently, Samantha came out to me as a Trans woman (male to female for anyone unaware), and has been super close to me ever since. I don’t have any problems being friends with her, and can understand some of her struggles, but her being Trans isn’t what bothers me. What bothers me is that, ever since she came out to me, she’s gotten very touchy.

I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome as a child. Because of that, I have an aversion to touch. Unless I trust and know you, I don’t want your physical affection. To me, being touched by people is the equivalent to having bugs crawl up your arms. Sometimes, it makes me want to vomit. **I. Don’t. Like. Being. Touched.**

That being said, what Samantha does isn’t exactly bad. She’ll play with my hair, rest her head on top of mine, and just touches me around the head/face area. I guess these are normal behaviors between girls, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I’ve told her several times to stop and that I don’t like it. She just keeps touching me.

Today, she was playing with my ponytail without my permission (again), and I initially told her to stop, to which she replied jokingly, “What are you going to do about it?” I got so mad, I ended up shouting, “Stop touching me, or I’m going to have a fucking panic attack!” She looked really hurt and dejected after I yelled at her, and just left without saying anything.

I know the only reason she feels so comfortable with me is because she knows I’m also LGBT, the only other coworker that is, on top of being the only other female that works there, and that may make her feel safe or give her a sense of belonging. Or maybe other girls were fine with this in the past or it seems like normal social behavior. I don’t know. I just hate being touched.

TL:dr: I snapped at a Trans Coworker for touching my hair, and her feelings got hurt. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Her being trans doesn’t mean she can touch your hair. You told her you don’t like being touched and she disregarded your warning. ######


Prompt:
My sister just had a baby and he’s a couple months old, kinda in that ugly chicken phase. She has been trying for a baby for over 10 years and I’m super proud of her because I know she was hurting with infertility etc.

She co-owns a successful business w/ my parents and it’s her job to post pictures on their website of the products.

For the sake of argument, let’s say they handmake leather goods like wallets and purses. Nothing to do with kids. She will post photos of my nephew either on the goods partially obscuring the items or with items on top of him. She jumped straight back into work and uses my nephew as props.

Business has taken a noticeable dive and people keep emailing the store to ask if they can get clearer pictures etc.

Recently someone left a bad review AFTER purchasing items saying ‘I came here to buy x, not look at someone’s baby’. My sister took it the wrong way and actually blacklisted the customer and also sent a strongly worded email to them saying they’re a family business and how dare they critizise her and no one knows what she’s been through.

My parents actually had to reach out to that customer and offered to fully refund them. I gently said to my sister (I was in the room when my parents were refunding over $200 worth of leather goods) that maybe she should keep work and family separate.

She started screaming at my that I’m a stupid kid and. I don’t know what I’m talking about (I’m 17, shes 30+, i was a total surprise baby...) and that I’m evil and dumb etc. My parents asked me to apologize to her which I don’t think I should do. ######

Response:
 NTA. Her actions are costing the business money. Also, not everyone likes babies. So if your business is handmade leather goods and the baby is sitting on new products with a diaper on, or drooling all over the merch, it doesn't look very good. It looks very unprofessional.

Maybe let her manage a social media page where the baby poses with bags or whatever with the family and other customers, but actual product shots and communication should remain formal and without baby. That's just weird. ######


Prompt:
Last year, my husband and I adopted a baby boy. We have an open adoption agreement with his biological mother, meaning we send pictures and see her once a year. There will be more contact as well as he grows up, as well.

When we met her, we knew she had an Instagram and YouTube page, where she talked about her journey. We found her through an agency, but she was up front about this. At the time, she didn’t have much of a following. In the past year, she has gained a bigger one. Not huge to the point where she’s well known, but she has 4,000 followers on Instagram and is growing.

My husband and I are pretty private people and keep our social medias locked down.  We decided that since she was growing so big, we were no longer comfortable with her posting pictures of our son on social media. We sent her this request and told her that while we would still keep sending pictures, seeing her, etc , we just didn’t want him on social media. She said that was her way of sharing pictures of him with distant family and I offered her alternatives, such as her emailing them the photos. All were meant with “sure, sure, sure”.

Then today, Mother’s Day, she made a post of different types of moms and including pictures of her with him, both from his birth and then from our visit a few months ago. I texted her and said if she kept this up, I would limit pictures. She got upset and deleted the post, editing it to a post of her holding him, but his face wasn’t shown which I was fine with. But she told me that I was wrong to tell her how to “run her account”.

Am I being difficult here? ######

Response:
 NTA. He’s your child, not hers. She gave him up. You’re already being gracious to her by having an open adoption with your son.

I’m also adopted, and I’d be weirded out if my birth mother did this to me since I consider my adopted parents my real parents. You’re completely in your right to make that request. ######


Prompt:
Context: my ex and I have a 20 month old daughter. Ex and I live together even though we aren't any longer romantically involved and overall have a good relationship.

Long story short: our daughter is a 20 months old and with special medical needs and have never left my side once since she was born. I've literally never been apart from her for more than 2 hours, say if her dad was taking her for a walk.

Daughter is not yet in nursery because of her medical condition meaning I care for her all day long and work part time at night. Dad has left me with her for a total of 7 months in total split over several weeks at a time, sometimes he had to go for work and sometimes because he wanted to fly home to visit family. For 20 months I've not met with a friend or family member or gone to the hairdresser without my now toddler by my side. Due to our smallish apartment, I also sleep in her room. I don't remember the last time I was on my own.

I'm going nuts, I'm exhausted, I'm getting more and more depressed by the day and I need a break. Just two nights in a hotel in the city somewhere. Doing nothing.

Money is not an issue but my ex insists that I'm being selfish and shouldn't want to go or want to be away from my daughter.  He's said that instead he'll take her for a few hours doing the weekend but in honesty, I just need away from them both for a day or two. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He’s TA for acting like a brat about taking care of his own kid for more than a couple hours. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) bought an ounce of weed together and split the cost in half and then divided it in two. We don’t live together so I figured when he’d come to mine, we’d smoke my half and when I’d go to his, we’d smoke his half. So basically, he smoked all of his and I’ve been giving him some of mine or bringing mine over to his place. This is where I get mad...

We work together and we headed straight to work from his place so I had my bag full of the things I brought to his place the night before in the break room. At the end of the night, he drove me home and we said goodnight to each other. I figured he’d ask me for some weed, but he didn’t which I thought was strange.

I get inside, go to get my weed so I can pack my bong after a double shift of work. I get to the bag and see that my pax and most of the weed I had is gone. I was really bothered by this because he went through my purse behind my back, didn’t even mention it to me. I called him and asked if he went through my purse and he just starts saying my name over and over again in a monotone and tired voice talking to me like he did nothing wrong and that I’m freaking out for no reason. I told him that I don’t care about the weed I care that he was being sneaky. He started saying that he didn’t think it was a big deal and he just wanted a relaxing night to himself. I admit I was getting angry and I said I just don’t know why you have to be sneaky about it. He said he’d talk to me tomorrow after I calmed down a little and hung up when I was about to defend my position.

This isn’t a unique situation where my boyfriend has got into things that I have not given him permission to go into.

So, AITA? Sometimes after we have a disagreement, he has a way of convincing me that what I’m feeling isn’t correct and I may be a little off emotionally. ######

Response: NTA. He’s straight up gaslighting you by telling you you’re overreacting to something that you are 100% allowed to be upset about. You can’t go through someone else’s private belongings, and the fact that he’s trying to convince you he did nothing wrong makes it even worse. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday my bf and I were talking and I finally got the courage to ask why he gets angry at me every few days and days he will never talk to me again. I asked about a specific situation like why he was angry. And he answered 2-3 times that we hadn’t been together that long then but to me that’s not a reason to get irrationally angry at someone you care about. After I asked again specifically what was it I did that made him angry in that situation he exploded and flew into a rage. He said I will ask him every day (it wAs my first time ever bringing it up) and said I’m sadistic. I began feeling guilty like maybe he was justifiable angry bc I didn’t understand his explaining how the fact we hadn’t been together long related to how he got angry. And maybe it was reasonable he got mad he had to repeat himself 2-3 times.

Overall I felt such anger and I’d never been so scared of him before even though I am scared of him in general. I do wonder if it’s all my fault. He gets angry at me about everything but said he was willing to forgive his ex for cheating yet he gets mad at me for disagreeing on small things, looking upset, thinking badly of him (he assumed it when I’m not). I wonder why he treats me so differently and blame myself.

I feel I’m going insane. Was I wrong for not understanding him after he explained a few times? ######

Response: NTA. He’s gaslighting you. You should never, ever feel frightened of a partner in a relationship. Everything he’s doing are massive red flags. ######


Prompt:
I have recently banned my son from having his male friends over, and he is pretty upset with his mom and I. Probably sounds like a dick parent move but hear me out on why I did it.

I have a 14 year old daughter, and it’s been a hassle chasing the boys away. She’s a very beautiful girl (all thanks to her mom) and has been attracting a lot of attention from perverted men, our sons friends being some of them.

It is disgusting to see how they act around her and treat her. Yesterday was the last straw though. She was sitting on the couch and his friend came downstairs and sat by her because he thought she was the only one awake and started asking her if she was “really only 14”. He asked several times and kept telling her she “didn’t look 14” before I walked out of the kitchen and said “yes, she is 14. now leave her be”. I called Brennan (my son) down and told him he needed to have his friend leave.

When he left my wife and I discussed it and decided it’s best if he doesn’t bring his friends over anymore because this happens all the time. His friends endlessly flirt with her and refuse to leave her alone. We had to get a lock on her door that couldn’t be tampered with from the outside because we were worried about what might happen.

He says it’s unfair, that it’s not his fault and we’re being harsh. Claims that he’s 18 and can do what he wants and is going to “move out” because he’s “tired of this shit”. Is it unfair? AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He’s free to move out and have as many friends over as he’d like. At very least, your sons friends are extremely disrespectful and have no sense of boundaries. My older brother would have torn his friends to pieces if they were pulling this crap to me (Same age difference as your son and daughter).  It was an unwritten rule to look out for your buddies little sisters. Trying to flirt with a friends little sister was never ok. ESPECIALLY if they are 14 and you’re 18. Your sons friends don’t respect her, your son, or you and your wife/home. ######


Prompt:
Brother and Sister in law are between buying and selling houses. It appears as though the dates of closings aren’t lining up and they are short what they need for the deposit on new place. Brother has asked if I can give them a short term loan of approx 30k for their down payment which they will payback as soon as the other houses closes as they are under contract on both properties.

I said yes, but to have his lawyer draw up a contract stating the terms of the loan. Which are none just that I am loaning X amount of dollars to be repaid by X date.

My brother got all outraged saying “I can’t believe you would ask that, I’m your brother. I didn’t want to borrow money from you because I knew you were going to do this.” Hung up and now is pissed off at me.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. He’s acting like he wasn’t planning to pay it back. 30k is an awful lot to flake on returning ######


Prompt:
So as this isn’t a relationships subreddit I’ll keep this part brief, I’m specifically asking whether I’m the asshole for ‘blackmailing’ (her words) or ‘giving an ultimatum’ (my words) to my friend.

She lost her job and made an onlyfans. Her fiancé doesn’t know. She knows he would consider that cheating and her fiancé is a very close friend of mine and I know it would destroy him.

My friend has not been discreet about this and is telling all of our friends for the clout because she’s got a lot of ‘yaaassss girl you get that coin’ sort of messages to the few people she opened up to and now word has spread and *guys we mutually know including her fiancé* are aware and paying for her content.

I told her she needs to tell him or I will. She considers this blackmail. I’m trying to protect my friend who I know is a very good person and who would be devastated.

My own best friend has told me to stay out of all of this and to mind my business. My best friend doesn’t know these people at all so she is not invested emotionally. I am autistic and think it’s very clear I need to tell my friends fiancé but she is saying that if my friend lost her job she needs to do what she needs to do to survive. ######

Response: NTA. He's your friend too.  Also blackmail would be if you threatened that he would find out unless she gave you something you wanted.  That is not what happening.  You are telling her you will not conceal her infidelity (given that she knows thats how her fiance would view it) and giving her the opportunity to be the one to own up to it. ######


Prompt:
So this guy has been my friend for a few months now. Maybe 5 or 6. Went to a few parties at his place, talked a bunch when quarantine was starting, that kind of thing. Once, when i was pretty drunk at one of his parties (a get-together of 4 pretty close friends), i spilled that id slept with a friend in our closer friend circle. Literally the next day i find out he's been telling everyone about it.

Fast forward a few months to late quarantine and he starts criticising little things i do. Like just reacting to his texts on Messenger when I don't have anything to say, and straight up calls me "very dishonest" for telling a teacher online I couldn't hear them well.

A couple days ago I'm out with friends and i find out he's been spilling that conversation too, and now some friends of mine from totally separate groups know about it.

So I decide to cut ties with this guy, and he just won't let up. Saying he still wants to talk to me and that he never had any bad intentions and that he doesn't understand why I won't try to work on this relationship and talk things out rather than cutting ties straight up.

So, after all of this, i need a sanity check. Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA. He's proven he can't be trusted. If he keeps pestering you, leave him on read or block him. Retaliation will only get him what he wants - a conversation. ######


Prompt:
So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months, recently I’ve noticed we’ve drifted a bit. It’s like I’m always having to start the conversations every time.

For the past 3-4 weeks I have been refusing to do sexual stuff. I’m only 16, I’m not as interested in it as much as he is. And I’ve told him that I don’t want to and I’m not confident. He said he respects my wishes, and I was really happy about that.

He came over yesterday and was of course expecting to get some action when I told him the night before that those things weren’t on my agenda. He didn’t talk to me much when he realized I was serious. I joked with him that if he came over the next day I’d do something for him, he’s currently over right now and is  mad at me. He’s hiding in my closet and my damn house.

I told him that he should stop expecting stuff like that. He responded that he’s mad that I lied to him, cause of the joke. I said he’s being petty and asked him to come out. He refused multiple times.

AITA for lying?

EDIT- I apologized about lying before I posted this. He said he wouldn’t accept my apology. Forgot to mention oops ######

Response: NTA. He's pressuring you. Both before and after your "promise". You shouldn't joke about that, but it doesn't make you an asshole. ######


Prompt:
The title probably makes this seem like such a petty argument but to me it’s really getting old. So I’ve (18f) been with my boyfriend (20m) for 10 months now. I love him but there are times that I want to pull my hair out. These are those stories.

So, a big part of our bond is that we game together. Usually on our Ps4’s and it’s great, he’s my best friend. But lately he’s made a habit of joining my ps4 parties and grilling the guys I’m playing with. He mentions the fact that he’s my boyfriend like 10 fucking times in one sentence. The other day we were doing squads on Fortnite and some 9 year old told me I had a pretty voice and he FLIPPED and made this kid cry. And when I play games without him he checks my recent players and messages them, asking why they were talking to me. He texted and asked my *uncle* who he was and what I said to him because he wasn’t aware it was him. It’s so overbearing and so annoying so I got fed up and we got into an argument about it. I told him what I thought, that he was being overbearing and annoying. I feel bad about it now though, like I get it, he’s insecure because of his past relationships but fuck. Nobody is going to fall in love with me on my playstation. AITA for freaking out on him about it even though he’s just insecure ? ######

Response: NTA. He's controlling. Huge red flags everywhere. You're only 18 - you have plenty of time to dump him and live your life. There are loads of partners out there who would be thrilled to be your bf. His insecurity is not your problem. ######


Prompt:
My inlaws passed away 5 months apart from various health issues 2years ago. My husband (34M) & me (31F) have been married for 9 years and we have a 4yr old. He was generally a cheerful guy, But since his parents have passed away, he has been playing the victim card for every little disagreement we have had.
For example -
Me: "Can you take the garbage out?"
Him: "Can't you see I'm still grieving and not ready to do these things yet? Can you stop pestering me!!"
Things came to a head recently when he said he wished my parents were dead instead of his parents. I swallowed that comment as he was crying looking at a picture of his parents.
Now a month later he says he has never said anything of that sort and I'm the "Demon" who has such terrible thoughts about him. He is giving me the silent treatment now and says I'm the problem for not loving him.
Please help me on what to do. I can't keep saying sorry and groveling for no fault of mine. ######

Response: NTA. He's being a manipulative little shit; his parents aren't a trump card for him to whip out to get you to do stuff for him. It sounds like he's attempting to gaslight you as well by conveniently forgetting a really shitty thing he said. ######


Prompt:
I (F20) have been in a bakery course since September and every Wednesday we have an 8 hour hands on class. The teacher (M50) is a very friendly man, but his sense of humour is kind of on the edge of acceptable. He'd been making sex jokes about me and some other girls in my class all year, but they were still kind of funny.

Last week he called me from the other side of the room saying his friend sent him a video and it made him think of me, as a joke. I approached  him and he gets the video out, everyone else was busy doing their thing. He showed me the video and skips through it. It was a lesbian orgy porn. I got super uncomfortable and froze. I couldn't do anything but chuckle in shock. I laughed it off, didn't say anything about it and went back to what I was doing. I know I should've said something then but I just couldn't.

It's been making me lose sleep since last week. I feel grossed out, objectified and my self worth has plummeted.

So today I decided to call someone at school who I trust. I told her what happened and that I wanted to arrange a meeting with witnesses where I tell him that he crossed a boundary. But she said she wanted to tell his boss and get an investigation started.

Now he's gonna get in trouble because of me, even though I wanted to give him a warning first.

AITA for reporting my teacher over a joke? ######

Response: NTA. He's been testing the females all year if he's been making sexual jokes. It's grooming behavior, trying to make himself seem less threatening (it's just a "joke"). He absolutely knows better. And reporting him was the right thing to do. ######


Prompt:
I have been working from home but my husband still has to go into work. I am a "sleep till the last possible minute" person. If I know it takes me half an hour to get out the door or five minutes to put on clothes and make a cup of coffee before logging in, I will sleep up till that point and give myself just enough time to do what I need to do in the morning.

My husband on the other hand prefers to set his alarm a couple hours before he needs to be at work (takes him less than 10 minutes to get there). Hits snooze a couple times. Then usually will go in for a shower, and this is really what I dont get. We have a jacuzzi/shower combo. He sits down in the shower, relaxes, and falls back asleep for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and a half with the water running.

Sometimes he makes it to work on time, sometimes he doesnt. When I was still going into the office our getting ready time overlapped so I would usually have to wake him up so I could get in and shower myself. Now that I am working from home I just dont bother showering until around lunchtime.

Today he needed to be in at 10. I woke up around 930 to log in and heard him snoring in the bathroom on my way to the computer. I went about my work, had a couple meetings, and around 1045 went back to the bedroom to get something, where I found him getting dressed. I said "you're late" in a playful way and he snarked back at me that I could have woken him up. We had a bit of an exchange, with me ultimately saying he was an adult and could get himself to work, him saying he'd remember that if it were me in the future.

This is not new behavior. This is his normal morning routine. He knows if he sits down and puts his phone down he is going to fall asleep. I've previously suggested sleeping in bed later but he wants to do what he wants to do. He has his phone in there with him so he can set a second alarm to get him out of the shower in time. I dont see why he should be pissy at me for not babying him. ######

Response: NTA. He's a grown adult for crying out loud. His sleep schedule/routine is solely his responsibility to manage and it's not your responsibility to manage him. Also, who the heck sleeps in the shower with the water running?! ######


Prompt:
Basically, I help organize a comedy club in our small city that donates proceeds to charities. Lots of comedians big and small come to perform and it’s become a big hit locally. It’s 100% a volunteer-based thing and not at all formally organized.

Once in a while we have amateur nights and even rarer we have “mini roasts” where audience members volunteer to be roasted by comedians.

Anyways, this past weekend one of our regulars is this 19yo kid with a slight speech impediment. I’ve gotten to know him pretty well since he’s volunteered with us before and wants to do things related to comedy for his career.

Well we had another roast night and he quickly volunteered. He got roasted. Some stuff was on his impediment but he laughed his ass off the entire time. His friends filmed the whole thing.

So not even 24hrs later I get a frantic call from this kids mom telling me that her and her husband plan to sue us for “ridiculing” their handicapped son. She apparently saw the video on his social media and without talking to him already decided to sue us for discrimination. I explained he volunteered but she said we should know better than to let an “obviously handicapped” person be the subject of “mean ridicule.” She said we had a duty and instead we trivialized/mocked his disease and suffering in front of dozens. She also told us to remove the video of the clip we have on our own social media pages.

I do feel a little bad. She talked at length about how they used to be in and out of hospitals when he was younger and how the comedians didn’t respect their pain (I guess she’s referring to the parents, not the kid). But at the end of the day we didn’t force anyone to volunteer and nothing was against his personal consent. AITA for ignoring this woman’s complaints? ######

Response: NTA. He's 19, he volunteered knowing what it entailed, and he enjoyed it. ######


Prompt:
A bit of backstory:Me and my step brother share a room, I am 17 and he is 15 and he HATES to shower like full on despises having to shower he is like a cat.  He plays football, and works out a lot so he sweats and has a nasty case of athlete BO, I hate having to smell that and I think in the past 5-6 months he has showered once (we aren't having any sort of financial crisis where he couldn't shower he just doesn't).  He's made the room almost unbearable and I pretty much sleep on the couch now cause of it and I put in a couple of those febreeze air fresheners.

Main Problem:I was in my room on my phone when he came in after working out, it was extra bad this time I was getting up to leave the room cause I hate the smell.  He asked me why I was leaving and I said cause I don't wanna be in the room anymore thinking he would just drop it.  I guess he didn't like that and came out of the room asking if he did something wrong, I kept brushing him off cause I really didn't want to hurt his feelings but he wouldn't stop pushing the issue.

Me:Dude you smell like shit.  Take a fucking shower, I can't deal with the smell anymore.  If you need help with how to properly shower ill show you or your dad can but you can't go on like how you are my guy.

(His sister got involved cause she didn't like how I was talking to him or something)

Step Sister:Don't talk to my brother like that

Me:Come on, I'm just saying he needs to take a shower.  I am not trying to bash him but he needs one, he works out too much to not shower.

Step Sister:doesn't give you a right to be a fucking asshole to him

At this point my step dad got involved and sent them to their rooms and I was sent to the living room, my step dad was mad at me the most and said that I should have been nicer to my "brother".  I told him that he needs to make him shower and smell better, I even said id help him if he did but my step dad told me to drop the conversation and never bring it up again.  AITA????? ######

Response:
 NTA. He's 15 not 3 and shouldn't need to be told to shower.

Why hasn't his parents said something? ######


Prompt: I'm a 13M I have a twin sister 13F (comes into context later) our mom had us when she was 15 years old and our dad was 17. My mom is now 28 and my dad is 30. When we were born our dad signed over all the the custody to our mom. When my dad turned 19 and we were 2 he was basically non existent in our lives. 2 days after our 9th birthday our grandma on our dads side contacts our mom begging to get to see us. So we go on a vist with our mom there and bam there is dad. From 9 to 11 was basically redo of a custody battle that was already over at birth. Now we are 13 our mom and dad hate each other but they try to get along for us and our dad takes us out to do stuff every Sunday. With lockdown happening that wasnt possible so we would face time and stuff. Today during the face time season he told us that he is going to get a tattoo on his left side that says "jazmin, jordi [last name here] 03 - 20 - 2007" now as much as I appreciate the sentiment I am extremely uncomfortable with this. But I also feel bad because he has been on record saying how much it hurts us we dont have his last name and he is getting our legal last names tattooed on him if he goes through with this. My father is in a lot better place then he was when we were 9. He has a steady job he can live off of and everything. I'm not saying he might regret it later. I just think it's a bad idea overall. Would I be the asshole if I bring that up? ######

Response: NTA. He wasn’t in your life until like 3 years ago. Talk to him about it and maybe say to wait a couple years so it wouldn’t be as weird. Good luck bro ######


Prompt:
Mom and dad separated when I (33m) was 3. He was in my life as an occasional weekend dad until my teen years. Started drifting until there was no contact by my late teens. He skipped my high school graduation, said he was "too sleepy". Didn't even invite him to my college graduation.

During grad school he reached out and we began having weekly phone conversations. I was genuinely excited, thought we could have a beer or something as adults  After a number of these he asked me for $, I was a broke ass grad student and told him that. He stopped calling.

Fast forward 10ish years to the fall of 2019 and he called me out of nowhere leaving a voicemail saying he wanted to reconnect. I ignored it, I figured that the moment had passed. I asked my 2 older sisters if they wanted to reach out, they also passed. I figured he is either dying and wants absolution or needs $. Didn't want any part of it tbh.

2 weeks ago my mom calls and tells me she heard from a mutual former coworker that my dad had passed. I felt guilty because he had reached out and I just ignored it.

Without any way of confirming, I tracked down a cousin via Facebook and asked. I have no relationship with that side of the family. They cut us out when my parents separated. So it was an awkward "hi, I think I'm your cousin", she informed me that my dad was not only alive but living with her about 4 hours north of me.

Apparently she told people and I got a bunch of messages from cousins that I don't know urging me to reach out. I ended up going camping about an hour away from where they live this past weekend and when I posted a picture the messages went from encouraging to hostile. Calling me cold for not reaching out while being so close, apparently they told him what's going on so he is sad about it.

I am not really interested in having a relationship. I just wanted to know because not knowing is harder. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He wasn’t in your life for a long time. And when he reconnected with you, he only wanted money. I don’t know who told you he died, but still. You do not have to reconnect with him if you don’t want to; especially knowing how flaky he is and how he only really seemed to want money. If he gets sad for a drift *he* caused, that’s on him. It’s not your job to pick up the pieces. ######


Prompt: A few months ago, despite taking birth control and using condoms, I got pregnant. It’s always been a dream of mine to have children but after a diagnosis of some pretty severe mental and physical illnesses I decided not to have children biologically. This was a heartbreaking decision to make but I knew I never wanted to make a child suffer like I do. My boyfriend was aware of this decision and agreed that if we ever had children we would adopt. After I became pregnant I completely broke down, my mental health deteriorated and I cried as I scheduled an abortion. As soon as I told my boyfriend this he got angry, he was yelling and crying and begged me to reconsider. One minute he was calling me a bitch, the next he was telling me he loved me and wanted to have a baby with me. I told him that there were just too many reasons why this would be unsafe, I’d have to come off of many of my medications and would almost definitely end up with either psychosis or PPD. He started ignoring me and didn’t say one word to me for over a week, the day after I had my abortion he broke up with me. Now I’m living with my parents for a while and every few days a member of his family will text me to tell me that I murdered his baby. Am I really a murderer? I thought I made the right decision, but now I’m wondering if I was being crazy and selfish. ######

Response:
 NTA. He was willing to sacrifice you for the potential of a baby. You did the right thing for you and your health.

Also the fact that he dragged his family into it shows he may not have been the right long term partner for you.

Be well ######


Prompt:
So my bf (35)and I (31) have been together just over a year and live together. We have very different sleep schedules, I work early so I'm used to going to bed at 10pm latest. He likes to stay up and used to start work at 10am compared to my 8am start (I have to wake up at 6 to get there). Due to everything going on atm I'm working, I work for the NHS and he lost his job. Last night I came home from work and I was shattered. I ended up going to bed at 8pm and thought I'd get up at 5.30am to get a shower in. He stayed up late playing poker. Now due to my health conditions and the impact of sleep on them we previously agreed that if he comes up to bed after 1am he should sleep in the spare room or on the sofa or where ever because he disturbs me when he comes to bed. Anyway last night I get woken up at 4am!! He comes in and starts making noise moving the covers and I just got so pissed off. I screamed that he was selfish and what was he doing? Then grabbed my stuff and slept in the spare room. He came in and said 'what does sleeping in another from accomplish?' And I said I could sleep better. Anyway I wake up at 5.30, still pissed off and clang around the kitchen a bit and then went into the bedroom to take my tablets and slammed the door. He sent me a text message on my way to work stating
Thanks for purposely waking me up... now I'll only get three hours sleep today
I mean.. come on!! He's not doing anything all day, he can sleep as long as he wants!! I was deliberately loud so he could understand where I'm coming from. If I'm tired and don't do my job properly people could get hurt or die if I make a mistake. Not to mention I could get ill again and end up seriously ill.
I feel that he's in the wrong and that he's not valuing my health, my job or wellbeing.
He thinks I'm out of line cos I woke him up at 7am.. ######

Response:
 NTA. He was rude and inconsiderate af and I’m fairly certainly he’ll be okay for one day on little sleep doing...what sounds like nothing.

(Though I do think yall should have a calm sit down where you go over the previously negotiated boundary [of sleeping in the other room after X time]. Quarantine has made for some anxious and testy bedfellows so it can’t hurt to calmly discuss this and reinforce its necessity after you both have calmed down a bit.) ######


Prompt:
I don't have a relationship with my biological father. He left her when she got pregnant and never acknowledged that he had a child, always saying she was lying. She did prove paternity in court and got an order for child support. At the time at least, he had a job making well over 6 figures that was handed to him by his parents as well as rental properties, so the ordered amount was pretty high. He refused to pay it at all and somehow got away with it. My mother has died and I'm her only child. He's never had a relationship with me, and in this matter, I wanted justice for my mother.

While I couldn't independently sue for that back child support, I could essentially sue on behalf of her estate. I won, and he owed me almost $350,000, plus my legal fees. He cried poor, but the judgment was paid almost immediately, so either he was not, or his parents bailed him out.

I've seen his wife's social media, and she's posting about "bastards wanting a payday" and other tears. Some of my friends and family think that I shouldn't have just used the legal system to get money that wasn't technically mine. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He was legally responsible for that debt. All you did was make sure he had to fulfill his obligation. ######


Prompt:
We had a staff meeting via zoom few hours ago.

One of our coworkers was in the “protests” and was joining the meeting from there, I tried to ignore the loud noises behind him.

Then in the middle of the meeting, he turned off the front camera and switched it to the back camera and started streaming what was going on behind him in the protest.

I told him this was very unprofessional and he will be getting into big trouble and let’s hope he doesn’t lose his job for what he did and then kicked him out.

AITA reddit? ######

Response: Nta. He was being rude and unprofessional ######


Prompt:
This week restrictions lifted in my area for the virus and my sister’s boyfriend visited my family for the first time for dinner. He knew who I was, but apparently my sister never mentioned that I’m disabled. When I meet new people, I’m fine with certain questions. I pretty much expect it. But the first thing that exited his mouth as he saw me was “Shit, what happened to you?” And phrased like that it’s just a bit disrespectful. Oh well, some people have weird reactions and I figured he was just surprised.

After that, the pre-dinner conversation goes smoothly. He’s respectful and polite to my parents. Then dinner comes out. I use a special grip for utensils because my grip strength is pretty weak. Sister’s bf immediately questions it, asking “Can you not do anything normally?” Which, again, is just not a particularly respectful way to ask. I respond by saying that I still managed to graduate high school and have a boyfriend of my own. Sister’s boyfriend nodded and went back to dinner. Then everything was fine until dessert. My mom and sister went back to get things from the kitchen, my dad went to use the bathroom, and sister’s boyfriend looked at me and asked if I “can still fuck”. At that point I was pretty fed up. I’m fine with questions but there’s a time and a place, and a level of appropriateness and respect that’s good to maintain imo. And at that point I was incredibly annoyed so I left the table and went to my room, staying there until he left.

Afterwards, I explained what happened to my sister but she told me I ruined the night by abandoning them and claimed that he wouldn’t ever say anything like that. She’s now refusing to speak to me, saying I completely ruined his first impression. But honestly I think he ruined it by himself. Still, I understand why just up and leaving could be considered inconsiderate. ######

Response: NTA. He waited until everyone else left so he could ask, so he knew it was inappropriate. Sorry your sister is refusing to believe it. ######


Prompt:
Not necessarily a relationship post but involves an ex. I’m wondering how I handled the situation.

My ex (23m) and I (26f) broke up a month ago for reference. That’s not what I’m asking about. We agreed to be friends.

I invited my ex to my birthday party. The party wasn’t huge, because of coronavirus restrictions, so I only invited my closest friends. My ex and I didn’t talk much after the breakup but I did call him to invite him.

The party was going well, we were all drinking, having fun, and then I noticed a friend of mine step out for some air. I’m quite introverted, so I like one on one conversation more than group settings. I wanted to talk to my friend one on one and get away from the party, so I stepped out too. I got only one minute with my friend when my ex walked out and started chatting me and my friend up. My friend went back inside and stuck me alone with me ex.

My ex started talking about the breakup, so I was already very uncomfortable to begin with, but then he started rubbing it in my face that he’s seeing someone. All I could muster up is “this is awkward.” His response? “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”

I’m livid. I turned around and stormed back into the house, left him outside and broke down crying in front of everybody. I told my friends that I didn’t want him at my party and a couple friends drove him home.

I spent the rest of my party crying. After the party I sent him a text message saying “You shouldn’t have told me you were dating someone. I’m still hurting from the breakup. I honestly don’t care what you do with your love life, but to rub it in my face is very mean. I don’t want you in my life anymore.”

It felt so right in the moment but I feel I broke his heart further by kicking him out of my party and sending that message. I’m filled with regret about the whole night. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. He tried to ruin your birthday party. ######


Prompt:
Hello! Nothing too heavy here.

My (39F) ‘partner’ (34M) asked me, “Can I make you something for lunch?” I answered, “Sure!” He went inside, I heard him in the kitchen for maybe 5 minutes, he came out with... some lunch for himself. Then it went like this:

Me (kinda laughing): Are you serious?
Him: What the fuck did I do now?
Me (confused): Didn’t you hear me say “sure” when you asked if I wanted lunch?
Him: I waited for you to tell me what you wanted, and when you didn’t, I thought ‘fuck ya’.
Me: ... I don’t understand...

He got annoyed, said “there’s your lunch, enjoy” (pointing to his plate), and walked away, calling me a fuckhead.

I think he’s an AH, he clearly thinks I’m an AH. I still don’t understand. Whenever I’ve asked him if he wants breakfast, for instance, if he says yes but doesn’t specify what he wants, I’ll still make him something.

We were having a lovely day, I just don’t get it.

What’s your verdict? ######

Response: NTA. He took the initiative to ask, he should've followed up. He's being petty. ######


Prompt: My biological father has been in and out of jail ever since I was 6. He went to jail for identity theft. When my mom found out that all the presents he had bought her were basically stolen, she divorced him and made him return the items. My mom didn't remarry. Despite not having a dad, it didn't bother me. My dad was released in 2018, and has been trying to get back in my life. I'm not going to lie, he's an asshole. When I let him back in the first time, he demanded I give him the money I've been saving since I was 15, roughly $1,500. When I refused, he spent it on alcohol and gambling while I was at work. I kicked him out of my apartment and he went to live with my half brother. He's came to my job, and slept with my boss who then fired me. With everything going on, I really needed that money. I'm sure some of you can understand how difficult it is to make ends meet right now. He showed up to my apartment the next day asking for some cash (the audacity this man has is unreal.) I cussed him out and told him he wasn't my dad. That my birth certificate may have his name on it, but he's not my father. I have honestly never considered him my father and I never will. I made sure he knew this too. Over the course of 2 weeks, I have gotten at least 300 texts from my half brother telling me how rude I'm being to our dad. AITA?? ######

Response:
 NTA. He stole from you and he got you fired. Worst of all he was never been there for you and your mum.

Maybe you can take him to court over the money he took from you. How did he even take it? Wasn't it in your bank account? ######


Prompt:
My fiancé bought his first bike a week and a half ago. It’s a manual. He’s just learned how to keep from stalling. He’s had a hard on about riding everywhere we go and he’s never driven in the rain or when the roads are slick. He wanted to go to his friends house about 35 minutes away to show off the bike. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that because he’s...
1) Not experienced
2) Not licensed
3) Has NEVER driven the bike in the rain
4) Is not a responsible driver
He left with the *biggest* attitude, told me he was big enough to make his own decisions, I was being unreasonable, and took the car. I’m not very knowledgeable about bikes and bike safety and feeling a little guilty. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. He sounds too immature to own a motorcycle.  He has no concern for his safety or the safety of the people that he will share the road with. ######


Prompt:
I (f19) have been with my boyfriend (m20) for a year now.

About 6 months into our relationship I got pregnant, and suffered a miscarriage about three months into it. I was heartbroken but at the end of the day felt like it was fate because I couldn’t financially take care of a child anyways.

Well I paid for everything since I’m not on my parents health insurance anymore. *graphic* I had to get it removed from me because the fetus didn’t come out on it’s own, and the procedure alone cost me $600. Also the anti nausea meds, pain meds and follow up drs appts.

My boyfriend was hardly involved in the process and loosely offered to help pay, but I just declined because I felt he didn’t mean it. So I spent well over $1,000. Which is fine, but now I can’t afford a car and it’s set me back big time.

My boyfriend constantly spends his money on video games or things for his car. He offers up coffee every day for me and other things as well. HE OFFERS. Yet, in an argument, he threw this back on me saying im only with him because he buys me things. I was so shocked and I threw it back on him that in one of the most important times, he couldn’t even pretend to care and I didn’t take a cent of his money. Also I mentioned he offers those things up and rarely do I take them.

He retorted that those medical bills weren’t his problems, so that’s why he didn’t pay. I got offended because it takes two to make a baby. So I snapped and went into the other room where I’ve been crying all night. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He sounds like trash. People really show you who they are in a tough time, and he pretty clearly showed you his selfish ass. I hope you move on quickly to a happy life of your own design. ######


Prompt:
Going to try to reword this so it doesn't go against the rules.

My boyfriend has two preteen children, that are very big for their ages. We've been together two years and have had the same problems since the beginning. His kids love me which is awesome, but they're extremely disrespectful to me and don't respect my personal space. From taking and hiding my phone, to locking me in the bedroom. Finally my last straw was last weekend when they were relentlessly jumping into me, wrestling each other basically on top of me,trying to take my phone, terrorizing his pets, terrorizing me, while he did nothing to make them stop. He thinks everything they do is cute and funny and will laugh as he watches his kids rough housing with me,  I ask them to stop and they will not listen to me. He tells me it's not his responsibility and I should get after them myself if I don't like what they're doing. I told him it's not my place and I'm not comfortable parenting his kids, I'm trying to keep a good relationship with their mother and not overstep and feel like it's just not my place to do this. I told him that I have decided to step back and stop being around his children after last weekend, that I can't handle it anymore. He is mad at me for this and has stopped talking to me. I have children of my own and always make sure they stay in line, are respectful to him and his property, and would never expect him to be responsible for correcting my children.

AITA for setting boundaries in this situation and taking myself out of the situation since he will not do anything to stop his kids from treating me like this? ######

Response: NTA. He sounds like he just wanted you to give up and let his kids do whatever they want so he could continue to be Cool Dad. Either way you'd be the one eating shit. His current silent treatment is part of the same theme. You cave, everything goes back to where it was with you and your pets being terrorized. ######


Prompt: This is a pretty silly thing so I'll keep it (relatively) short, but I'd appreciate getting your advice on this. My boyfriend 'John' and I were spending time together recently and I was acting off (I was stressed, but he didn't know and I didn't tell him). He asked me if I was okay and I responded that I was, to which he responded asking me if I was on my period. I felt pretty annoyed by the question, and while I didn't say anything in the moment, I brought it up later. John explained himself further, telling me that his best friend (let's call him Paul) said that his girlfriend wouldn't get mad if Paul asked her if she was on her period because she's an objective and reasonable person. Moreover, John didn't feel like the question was offensive and was coming from a place of trying to understand why I was off. I obviously disagree, but wonder now if I'm being unreasonable and if he was just coming from a place of trying to be understanding--AITA for feeling like this was an offensive question and feeling upset about it? ######

Response: NTA. He sounds like an ass. Next time he acts off, ask him if he going through an early mid life crisis. ######


Prompt:
So my boyfriend has an ant farm, and I'm not sure how much he paid for them but the ants are also fancy, bigger than normal ones (I'm not sure the name of the breed though). The ants creep me out and make me feel itchy watching them so I normally wouldnt watch them or watch him interact with them when he gets one out the tank, but me and a friend were at his house watching a movie because he has a better tv than me, and he was in another room with the ants. My friend went up to go to the bathroom and when she came back she said she'd seen him at his desk, so she had a peak at what he was doing- he had a shallow tray of water and was using a piece of wire to hold an ant under. She said he was releasing it then re-dunking it. I thought that was really weird but didnt say anything, and I later told another friend about it who said he might have been testing how deep he can have a water bowl for them without them drowning, but that just doesn't make sense- why hold it under? why not just google it? Again I never said anything though.

So I started to watch him with the ants (subtly) and noticed a bunch of other cruel things he did- he found red ants outside and put a bunch of them in a tub with one of his ants and watched his ant get attacked and eaten. I drew the line when he put one in the microwave and confronted him, and he told me I was being a baby. I didnt get to say much else because his aunt showed up, but I was fuming at him. When he was sleeping I emptied the ants into a container and released them outside. I went home after that and he still hasnt called yet, but he'll be pretty mad. I feel bad because they werent my property and I never really had an in-depth convo with him before releasing them, and the ants probably arent native which isnt great either. I'd be extremely pissed if anyone took away or released my pets behind my back before properly talking to me first, but at the same time he was being cruel, so I dont know. ######

Response: NTA. He sounds like a psycho. Run. ######


Prompt:
Me and my father always had a horrible relationship. I'm the youngest of 4 siblings and have 3 older brothers. I was born with a learning disability so it made me a little slow and be less intelligent. My dad hated that I had a learning disability and he would always call me names such as stupid, moron, idiot, etc. He never hit me but multiple times he told me if i was a boy he would hit me. When i was 16 i came down with a serious illness that lasted for a month and my dad yelled at me the whole time for being sick and for throwing up when i had no control over being sick. He would always tell me i'd grow up to be a loser. He also yelled at me when i developed Bipolar disorder and said i chose to be that way. Once I was an adult I met my first husband at age 25 and my dad's reaction to finally having a boyfriend was "Surprised anyone would wanna date you" and he basically told my boyfriend that he can do way better than me. When me and my boyfriend married 2 years later he didn't congratulate me at all. 3 years later i got pregnant but miscarried what was going to be a baby boy and he apparantly said behind my back "Thank god there won't be another slow person in the family." Me and my husband divorced shortly after the miscarriage cause he had an affair and my dad said the other woman was better than me. I haven't been in a relationship since then.

&#x200B;

So anyways 4 months ago my dad got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and was told he only has 12 months left to live if he's lucky. My dad has at most 6 months left to live and i'm honestly very happy he's dying so he can't bully me anymore/ when he dies i will be very happy and i will not attend his funeral but my older brothers say i'ts disgusting of me to not be sad dad is dying (My dad was way nicer to my brothers and mostly i got all the yelling from my dad) ######

Response: NTA. He sounds like a horror to grow up with, it makes sense that you don’t feel sad over this. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Abuse of any kind can impact you in ways that are unimaginable ######


Prompt:
Still using this account to ask advice I don't want my primary account to see.

I have a cousin who is a very 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' and 'gumption' kind of guy (despite the fact his parents are well off and he currently works at my uncle's company).

Well my cousin was ranting and raving on facebook about all the people filing for unemployment right now and how they're all just 'welfare queens' trying to game the system. Well I know he received a stimulus check and immediately spent it on a 4X4 because he posted pictures after he did it.

So I responded to his Facebook post by asking when he would be returning his government hand out as he obviously didn't need it. Well my Aunt didn't like that so I was immediately called and told to remove my comment and when I told her no she yelled at me.

Idk times are weird and I'm growing to give less of a flying F**k what do you think AITA? Did I go too far in calling out my cousin? ######

Response: NTA. He sounds extremely coddled as well if your aunt's instinct is to call you and tell at you about her grown ass son. ######


Prompt:
Ok so for clarification my parents had been married for 40 years but unhappy for atleast 10, my mother spends 10 months of the year at her caravan home and 2 months of the year at home where my father still lives.

3 years ago they agreed to start seeing other people officially ending their relationship but still keeping the same living arrangements.

About 18 months ago my mother met a man she calls “Mr Spain “ as he claimed to have a few apartments in Spain that he let out as well as a property nearby that he rented out so was fairly well off.

They apparently fell immediately in love and wanted to get married so my mother rushed a divorce through with my father and married this man a month later (had known each other about 6 months at this point) we were still talking at this point and although I was apprehensive about this man we all did our best to accept him into our lives.

A few months later it all turned out to be lies, he had no apartments in Spain, no other house, he had some money from a family inheritance but many other lies were unearthed.

My mother was heartbroken and I helped her file for annulment, he seemed to accept but asked my mother to pay him back for the gifts he had bought for our family (over£10,000 total but they were gifts he gave of his own choice)

Before the annulment could be completed lockdown hit us and she was told it wouldn’t be able to be processed until the courts re open, during this time she started talking to him again.

Fast forward a few months and he’s wormed his way back into her life she wants to cancel the annulment and continue her life with him, I’ve told her I don’t want to not see her or her not to see the kids but I don’t want my family anywhere near him and I don’t trust him, apparently I’m a heartless asshole who won’t accept her choices, but I think I’m not being unreasonable wanting to keep our distance. ######

Response: NTA. He sounds creepy - a con artist at best. You have every right not to want your family near him.  Reiterate to her that she is welcome at any time and you and your family would love to get together with her only. ######


Prompt:
This happened last summer but we still talk about it sometimes. My husband and I went away with his family to a cottage about an hour away, but I came back a day early for work.

They all decided to stay an extra day (so two days without me) which I was totally fine with. Apparently, my husband’s older cousin (mid 30s) would have to leave the day before anyways because he had already booked his flight and didn’t want to dip into his savings to change it.

My husband then went ahead and booked him a new flight on our points without asking me. His whole family told me how wonderful that was of him, but I flipped out because those were our points that we have in a joint account and we were planning to use them for an end of summer trip. He told me he did it because it’s family, but he’s honestly not close with the cousin (they have NEVER made an effort to see us, visit us, or invited us to visit) and regardless of who it was he should have checked with me. He also has a history of letting his family mooch off him so I think this made me extra angry. AITA for flipping out? ######

Response: NTA. He should've discussed it with you before he even offered, regardless of what type of relationship he has with the cousin. ######


Prompt:
Its late at night so I'm gonna keep this short.

Background: Recently, I've been constipated (really embarrassing but is important) Idk why, but I have been. I started taking medicine to help this, and this has worked for the most part.

Story: So earlier today I went down to the kitchen to take a break from Terraria (checking out the 1.4 update) and to have some coffee. I was making it when I overheard my younger brother. (His room is in the basement.) My brother is trying to become a Twitch streamer with some of his friends and was talking with his buddies. I mainly tune it out but a word slips into my head.

THE NAME OF THE MEDICINE I TAKE FOR CONSTIPATION.

I IMMEDIATELY head down, and ask wtf he's talking about. He's like "bruh chill," while I'm furious that he's talking about MY PRIVATE INFORMATION on stream. (To be fair, he has zero followers. That's not an exaggeration, he literally has 0 followers, but that doesn't change anything.) I explode but mainly stay passive. I spill some sprinkles on his floor but nothing much. I tell my mother as it's mainly her job to manage my brother and she goes nuts. She IMMEDIATELY brings him into a conversation. He realizes that he's in the wrong and comes up to my room and apologize with my mom in the background.

I don't accept.

It was only a few hour difference from when it happened to when he apologized, I feel like this is just another one of his apologies and he'll go straight back to being a jerk (which is what usually happens) and I get the impression that he's only saying that because my mom is making him. So I don't accept. He gets pissed and runs straight out and my mom kinda gives me a dirty look. So reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He should not have said that information about you. ######


Prompt:
My wife's uncle is Islamophobic. I'm Muslim and my wife is Hindu. Her uncle has always been very friendly to be but also talked about Muslims are ruining the country and should go back. It is wierd but he doesn't see me as Muslim for some reason. I am one of the good ones, but every other friend isn't.

Recently he posted a Facebook message saying that Muslim men are trying to seduce Hindu girls. Apparently the reason is that Hindu girls don't smoke or drink much and have better organs. So Muslims seduce them and then steal their organs. His Facebook is filled with shit like this.

I replied with " I am glad you think I married 'wife's name' so I can steal her organs". He deleted his post a little while later. Anyway here wife's family think I'm an asshole. Apparently I'm rude and that is just the way he is. My justification is that he has been rude to me consistently and I don't need to consider his feelings any more. Unfortunately my wife is stuck in between.

So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He should have thought that one through a little bit. ######


Prompt:
Last summer, I signed a one-year lease on a three-bedroom apartment along with two of my friends. All was well for two weeks until one of these friends accepted a job offer in another city and wanted out of the lease.

Myself and the other friend managed to find another temporary roommate for 8 months but this temporary roommate is now returning home. The friend who bailed on us, whose name is still on the lease (but whose rent was essentially being covered by the temporary roommate) is now claiming he is unable to pay his share of the rent and wants us to pay for him until the lease is up. He has not spoken to me directly but has been pleading with the other friend to a great extent and just tonight, this other friend called me a “bitch” for not having empathy for this guy who bailed. She feels that her and I should indeed cover his rent until the lease is up.

We are looking for another roommate to circumvent this problem but, in the meantime, AITA for taking the stance that neither of us is responsible for his share of the rent? ######

Response: NTA. He should have lived up to his part of the agreement. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday I spent 9 hours cleaning and organizing the kids (7f and 3m) bedrooms. I organized the toys, washed the walls, shampooed the carpets etc.

I absolutely had to go to the store today because we didnt have anything left to eat. I was gone for around 2 hours since I had to go to three stores to get everything, due to stores being low on some things.

When I got home, the bedrooms were a trainwreck. There was nail polish spilt in the 7 year olds room, all the books off the shelf in my 3 year olds room, the toy bin was completely empty... You couldnt tell I did anything yesterday.

I was upset. I made sure my husband didnt have any meetings or anything with work (he is working from home) and could keep an eye on the kids. He brought his laptop into the living room so he could multitask. He said he could handle everything.

He is the AITA part. I told him he is going to help the kids clean up and I am not doing a thing to contribute to cleaning it. He said he got an unexpected phone call and had to deal with it. It took longer than he expected. He claims he forgot to check on them.

Am I TA for not helping them clean up? ######

Response: NTA. He should have delayed his phone call. Your daughter is old enough to know about making and cleaning messes. She should be the one to clean it, and your husband should be the one to make sure she does. ######


Prompt:
This happened last summer but we still talk about it sometimes. My husband and I went away with his family to a cottage about an hour away, but I came back a day early for work.

They all decided to stay an extra day (so two days without me) which I was totally fine with. Apparently, my husband’s older cousin (mid 30s) would have to leave the day before anyways because he had already booked his flight and didn’t want to dip into his savings to change it.

My husband then went ahead and booked him a new flight on our points without asking me. His whole family told me how wonderful that was of him, but I flipped out because those were our points that we have in a joint account and we were planning to use them for an end of summer trip. He told me he did it because it’s family, but he’s honestly not close with the cousin (they have NEVER made an effort to see us, visit us, or invited us to visit) and regardless of who it was he should have checked with me. He also has a history of letting his family mooch off him so I think this made me extra angry. AITA for flipping out? ######

Response: NTA. He should have asked you before using your shared points. Especially because you both had plans for them. ######


Prompt:
My (18f) boyfriend (21m) has been struggling with money recently due to quarantine. His hours at work were cut so he’s having trouble keeping up with rent and bills. Recently, my parents offered to help him. He was reluctant to accept help at first but eventually accepted $400 and was able to get through the month with that extra money.

Now, 2 weeks later he’s asking for $350 more. He’s saying he’ll pay it back to my parents, but what irks me is he’s asking for this money so he can change the exhaust on his car to make it louder. I completely blew up at him because in my eyes he’s taking advantage of my parents’ generosity and asking me to lie to them if they ask what he’s spending it on, as he knows they wouldn’t give him the money if they knew he was spending it on something he didn’t really need. His argument is that he’s going to pay the money back, so it shouldn’t matter.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He should focus on paying back the $400 first. These are financially tough times on everyone imo ######


Prompt:
For as long as I can remember, my boyfriend has always been a very egotistical, competitive person. I’m 23 and he’s 22

It’s actually gotten to the point that I hate playing any type of game with him because he absolutely loses his shit when I beat him claiming that I cheated and the game is a load of “bullshit”

He absolutely refuses to admit that I’m better than him at something and goes out of his way to prove that he is in fact better. If he fails, he goes in a strop saying that it’s “fucking shit anyway”

He is normally a very sweet, caring person but this is the one thing I have an issue with.

Well, a couple of days ago he was playing Red Dead Redemption 2 Online with friends, and as always he wanted to compete. So he challenged his friends that whoever finds a 3 star pelt first wins.

I’m sat next to him not really paying attention because i didn’t really understand what they were competing for and was just sat on my phone.

Well, the next thing I know is that he shoots you from his seat, throws his controller on the couch and shouts that his friend is a “fucking c*nt”

I try to start calming him down but it wasn’t really working and I eventually told him that he needs to get over himself.

His friends must of heard me say that because I hear his friends laughing at him through the mic.

A couple of hours go by and he finishes playing with his friends. He turns to me and starts berating me about how I embarrassed him and how his friends kept repeating that he needed to get over himself and that I shouldn’t of said anything.

Now he’s ignoring me and when he does talk to me, it’s in one word answers.

Was it an asshole move of me to tell him to get over himself? Especially since his friends heard me say it ######

Response:
 NTA. He should be way more embarrassed by his own behavior than by anything you said.

And if he acts like this about a video game, how is he going to act when something that is actually important doesn't work out? There are some red flags here. ######


Prompt:
I am on a family vacation to my boyfriends hometown so that our baby can meet his side of the family. I have been doing most of the child care as my bf has been working, partying with his fam until 4 or 5 am, and sleeping in till noon when not working..he has been pretty out of sync with me and the baby this whole week and it has been a bit rough for me to be honest.

I love his family but they are big partiers and I am not ...especially now that I am an exhausted new mom.

Tonight I wasn't feeling well so I was still up at midnight and he came in to say that instead of partying just out front like normal (the family all have houses pretty close by) he was going to a party offsite because he wanted to be able to make more noise. I asked him to stay (vivid concerns about the other party but also because I dont want to be here alone).  He said everything would be fine and I shouldn't worry. He brought me the car keys in case I need to leave for any reason. He said he would be home in 2 hours but now it has been 4.

I keep hearing noises and feel un settled in the house. It is big and old and his family has been telling me all week how it is haunted. My baby has been waking up screaming a lot here but it didnt bother me as much until being left alone here.

AITA in asking him not to go and for being mad he went and now jas stayed out longer than promised? I  know partying and seeing his family is important to him, but due to work he gets out here for a weekend every month and parties regularly. He also parties a lot at home so it isn't like this is his only chance. ######

Response: NTA. He should be just as responsible with the child as you are. You're both new parents but that doesn't meant the entire brunt of it should fall on you. ######


Prompt:
Before I start, I'm F18 and all the people in the story are around my age. Also, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
So, not while ago, this guy (M20 I think??) followed me on IG, and we had some mutual followers so I decided to follow him back. Soon after that I got a message from him saying he wants to hook up and a photo (dickpic). I immediately blocked him, of course. But because it wasn't the first message like that I've received, and I'm seriously annoyed with how some guys think they can do whatever they want without consequences, I decided to try something dfferent. With a little research, I found his mom on FB, and decided to message her. I apologized for messaging her out of the blue, and aksed (just to make sure I got the right person) if he was her son, with a picture of him. When she answers, I plan on telling her about the dickpic. She still didn't see the message though, so I guess she won't see it at all (probably because we aren't friends on FB and she doesn't know about the Message request thingy). But that's not the point now. Some of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because I did that, telling me I overreacted, that I embarrassed him and that it was not such a big deal.
Right now I'm not sure if I did a right thing.
So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. He sent it to you without consent, that's a cyber version of flashing someone. Which is a sex crime. If he didn't want it in his mom's inbox he shouldn't have sexually harassed a stranger. You're under no obligation to care about some dude's embarassment when he's going around harassing women. Also, yeah, he absolutely SHOULD feel embarassed about doing something shitty. ######


Prompt:
For about four years, I had a 2001 Toyota Corolla that got me where I needed to go without many issues. It was my first car, pretty inexpensive and definitely reliable. I just finished grad school and I’m looking into getting my career started, so my plan was to get a newer car within the next two years and give the old one to my youngest sister when she turns 16.

Last week, my brother, who is kind of notorious for being a reckless driver, wrecked my car. Thankfully he was totally okay! The car is totaled though. I have to get a new car and as I’m searching, it looks like the I’ll be putting 500 down, getting a 6,000 loan and then paying the rest with the insurance money from my totaled car.

So here’s the thing: my brother is 100% responsible for this situation. He made a mistake and crashed my car. However, he’s a poor, college student who is especially low on money given the current pandemic. I feel like a dick asking for money towards my new car but it also is fair. If he were a stranger and had crashed into my car, totaling it, he would be held responsible and have to pay.

I definitely wouldn’t ask for more than the 500 that I have to put down out of pocket but idk how much exactly I would ask for from him. WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA. He screwed up when he crashed your car. It sucks he isn't financially well off, but the least he can do is help with the down payment. ######


Prompt:
Sold a second hand computer item, at a bargain price. Just wanted some funds to upgrade.

The buyer was a great guy, and we chat for hours on FB about retro computers. The computer part I sold him was incompatible with his equipment though, and I immediatly offered to refund him in full. I had other buyers for it, and besides, I could still use it myself up until my upgrade was ready.

I urged him to return it, and even offered to pick it up myself.  Didn't hear from him... then about a month after the sale, he's asking me to meet so he can return the item. I refused politely, stating I'd try and contact the other potential buyers who were interested first.

But now wondering if I'm in the wrong here. ######

Response: NTA. He pretty much ignored you for a month and then suddenly decided that he wants a refund? Unless his world fell apart in that month and he couldn't contact you, then you are not the asshole. ######


Prompt:
I was contacted by a lawyer about a month after my ex died. He informed me of my ex’s death and apologized for contacting me so late. He said he had a hard time finding me. He then explained how I was still listed on his will as his sole beneficiary even though we had been divorced for over 3 years now.

He asked what address I wanted  the check for his my ex’s remaining bank balance to be sent to as well as his ashes. He also informed me that my ex’s landlord could only hold onto his things for another two weeks

Since my ex still owed me a lot of money I decided to keep the $4000 that he had in the bank. It was less than what he he owed me ($12,000), but it was all I was ever going to get.

As for his ashes and his stuff I told the lawyer I didn’t want any of it.

But I do know my ex had three kids. When we were together he always refused to talk about them (red flag, I know now) and would see them maybe once a year all on his own. So I didn’t know much about them at all. Other than they lived in Texas.

So I told the lawyer that he had three kids, but I didn’t know their contact info or their last name. Just that they lived in Texas. I told him he could try looking through my ex’s stuff to see if he could find out more about them and see if they wanted any of it.

The lawyer said okay and that he would take care of it and that was pretty much the end of the conversation and I forgot about the whole thing.

It’s been about two months since that call and one of my ex’s daughters contacted me on Facebook yesterday. After a very short introduction herself she called me a bitch for just taking all his money that it should be theirs and that it was messed up leaving all his stuff to be thrown away. She said  I could have at least tried to find them and that it’s my fault they now nothing to remember him by and have lost all of their family pictures from when they were little.

And that’s where I am now. ######

Response:
 NTA. He owed you money, and he left it to you. And the lawyer said he'd look for the kids. I'm assuming he probably found them, or how else did she know to contact you?

And why was the daughter is so upset about the photos and whatever else was thrown out, when she didn't even stay in touch with her father enough to know he died? ######


Prompt: This is gonna be a short one. so i go to school with a guy thats obviously fit (sixpack and all the shit) That constantly says he's fat. I am ALOT overweight and weigh around 240 pound (112kg) and really hates it. today i just had enough and told him to shut the fuck up about being fat. am i the assholee for saying that? ######

Response: NTA. He might not be happy with his body but saying that shit in front of you it’s just insensitive and alienates you. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I have never really gotten along with our neighbors on one side of us.

My wife says the origin story is that when they came to our housewarming, I was cold to them and didn’t chat enough (in my defense I was with like ten people playing a board game).

Anyway, there is no fence between our yards and their dog constantly poops in my yard. I like dogs, but the biggest reason I don’t own one is because of the cleanup.

So I would mow the lawn, and gently kick the poop into their yard as I went. I thought this was a fair compromise between cleaning it for them and doing something silly like putting on their doorstep.

Because of this, we heard them loudly shit talking us with another neighbor right in our backyard. I was the bad guy for kicking the poo over.

One morning I was driving to work with my wife and baby son in the dark. All of a sudden, again, in the dark, the neighbor comes flying from the sidewalk into the street with his dog and yells “SLOWWW DOWWWN.”

Last winter I saw that his car was stuck in the driveway. I put on my snow gear and asked if he needed a push. He just said “nope” and kept revving his engine. Ok.

There’s more but this post is already getting long.

So fast forward to today, we get a used playset with a slide, swings etc. Now all the sudden they are in the backyard with their toddlers near our yard and saying “no we can’t go on there,” etc.

We basically haven’t spoken in six years since we lived here. We never see them in the yard just playing like that.

My wife thinks we should let their toddlers play on there, because they are just kids.

This guy has been a real jerk to me for six years, I know it’s not the kids fault but I just feel like there needs to be an apology or olive branch from their end as opposed to pretending it didn’t happen.

AITA for not inviting the kids? ######

Response: NTA. He made his bed and now he can sleep in it.  That being said I feel like you need to put up some kind of a barrier between the two yards.  I’m thinking something like grapes or raspberry bushes. ######


Prompt: My husband is cooking dinner tonight. He told me to go for a walk after he finished work because it had been a long day inside with the kids. I happily obliged and went for a 10 minute jog. I got home, he had started dinner and the house smelled great. I told him this as well. He declared though that I would so not like it and I asked why. He was adding chickpeas to the dish (he knows I hate the taste of chickpeas). I didn’t say anything, I just asked if I could help with cooking. He was saying that he doesn’t like how I get annoyed when he cooks something I don’t like. Now I hadn’t said anything and I didn’t think I made a face, I just stood there and did what I could to help. I told him that it was fine, he is the one cooking and if he wants chickpeas that’s what we have. He went on to say that he could tell I was annoyed and he didn’t like that. I told him he is right, I don’t like chickpeas but I’m not angry or annoyed. It’s not the first time that he had knowingly used an ingredient I don’t like so I wasn’t surprised. I know if I eat around the chickpeas he’ll get annoyed, so even though I hate them I’ll probably just eat a couple. But he’ll still get annoyed if I don’t eat them all. Am I the asshole for not wanting to eat a particular ingredient in tonight’s dinner? He says I rolled my eyes and that I’m ‘visibly annoyed.’ ######

Response: NTA. He knows you don't like chickpeas, adds them anyway, and makes you feel guilty for not liking them. There's only one a-hole in this story, and it's not you. ######