Prompt:
OK, this is a throwaway, on mobile, English isn’t my first language, etc.

So I (M20) live with another guy (M19), who I’ll refer to as Red. Red’s autistic, and he’s not a party person. I am. He also is extremely camera-shy, like he’ll go out of his way to hide if someone is taking a photo that he could appear in. That’s perfectly fine, but I still like my parties. So we came up with the Forbidden Room. The Forbidden Room is a small room we have, that we made super comfortable with a fuckton of pillows, a mattress, and noise-cancelling headphones. Whenever a party stresses him out, or people are taking a lot of photos, he locks himself in the Forbidden Room. There’s two keys, one is with me, the other is with him.

I never specified what the Forbidden Room is. I only told people it’s locked, and so they can’t access it. (Which is true — Red unlocks it to enter). The arrangement works great for Red and I. A few days ago, someone in the group WhatsApp casually mentioned Red disappears in parties, so I mentioned the Forbidden Room’s purpose. (Red knew I was telling them.)

My friends are all now mad at me, because that’s not a real reason to lock up a room, and that they like Red, and want to chill more with him, and by doing this, I’m essentially allowing him to remain socially distant from others. They’ve demanded entry next time to the Forbidden Room, and I’ve denied them; and they tried to compromise by saying anyONE can have a downtime in the room, and I’ve refused that.

Red’s argument is, he can’t tolerate being social for very long, and some of my friends have taken pictures and posted them online without his permission, and created a scene when he asked for it to be taken down; and that he doesn’t trust they’ll use the Forbidden Room responsibly, and it doesn’t solve his need to hide in a place on his own.

So, AITA for having a forbidden room that only Red is allowed in? ######

Response: NTA. You are your roommate have a really nice and considerate setup, and that only works so long as others also extend that consideration. They don't seem to get that wanting to hang out with Red when he intentionally detaches isn't showing that they like him, it's just going to stress him out. ######


Prompt:
I'm 17M, I am of African descent and I have thick, curly, kind of messy hair that I love very much (probably around 2.5 inches) unfortunately, my grandmother passed away on the 3rd of July, at age 91, just two weeks after her husband died at 95. On some rare occasions while she was alive, she'd tell me I need a haircut. (maybe like 1/5 of the times, I'd visit her. You'll see why this is something to consider in a bit).

Due to weird cultural tradition in this country, I am often ostracized for my thick hair (mostly only by family members above 45 who think men's hair should always be short) and last Sunday in the family meeting preparing the funeral, my grandma's daughters (my aunts) have been kind of pressuring me into cutting my hair shorter for the funeral, even going as far as insinuating that I should do it because Grandma recommended me to like 2 years ago. They already pressured my cousin (34M) into shaving his beard. They're kind of acting like one of my Grandmother's dying wishes was for me to cut my hair. I don't understand them at all. I guess nothing says respecting a fallen loved one like cutting my hair??

I am perfectly capable of making it look neater and presentable, but they won't even give me that option. I fear once they pass their concerns to my mother I'm going to lose. I also tried to respectfully and politely decline but they continued to push so I said "I'll do something about it." Without necessarily agreeing to cut my hair. On one hand, I am my own person, I am pretty much an adult and I believe I can't let them control me and my choices like this, but on the other hand, this is not something that should be giving me stress while trying to bury a recently deceased loved one.

It's even worse when you see that most men in my family go bald in their 20s, just let me enjoy my locs while I have them, damnit! ######

Response: NTA. You are your own person. It doesn’t matter what they consider good enough or appropriate for men in your family, or even your grandma. She had her sense of normalcy, but that has long since changed since she was 17. You keep those locks hydrated and set em free, man. ######


Prompt:
Ok so before i go into to much detail my boyfriend texted me that he’s looking for a transfer 10 hours away and wants to get an apartment. This aspired with a fight he had with his dad... my boyfriend is always trying to help and his father never appreciates what he dose it is defiantly a toxic environment he should get out of. I just didn’t think it would be 10 hours away.

So now a little background of us we are college sweethearts been together for over 5 years gone on so many adventures together. no we are not engaged lol we are both ok with that. We always talk about the future and when we have our own place what we will do with it. Currently we are both still living with our parents. I personally have a great relationship with my parents and we are very chill with each other my boyfriend can come over when ever he wants however I am not aloud to stay over at his house the parents don’t approve.

So here’s the difference, I pay rent I split the mortgage and house hold bills In half with my parents I pay for my own car and insurance. I have worked in the same field for over 6 years starting as a part-timer and have had a full time job for 2 years. I am now a manager and I feel stable in my life to start something. My boyfriend does not pay bills or rent however he helps his parents out a-lot he cares for them since they are older and more on the frail side. He has not had a full time job for more than 6 months since I’ve known him. The field he wants to work in is very hard to get a job and currently he is an on call during the slow time he works about 15 hours a week.

So here is my question am I the asshole for explaining that before we move in together I’d like him to have a full time job for at lest 6 months to a year? If we are starting our life together I want us both to be stable. And to be honest I think he needs to live on his own for a while to realize what it’s like to own his own place he can control. :/

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. You are very wise. Uprooting yourself from a stable situation to take a leap of faith across the state by moving in with your boyfriend is ... risky risky risky. I think that your suggestion of having him live on his own is a good one. You don't need to phrase it as an ultimatum - 'Live on your own and learn to manage your own affairs for six months and I'll think about it!'. Tell him he needs to go out and test the waters, get a place, see what he thinks of this new job and this new town. There's no need for both of you to rush off to a new place without knowing what's going to happen! ######


Prompt:
This isn't dramatic, or too serious.

We're back in lockdown, and it's been raining so my kids have had no way to run off some energy, so they're extra bratty right now.

&#x200B;

My son (10) was arguing with his sister (6). He wanted the TV volume at 25, she wanted it at 20. I stepped in and put it at 23. They kept arguing, and he picked up her makeup pallet (just glitter eyeshadow) and threw it across the room. It broke. I made him take $5 from his savings, and pay his sister to replace the broken makeup.

My son is grumpy because I 'stole' his money.

My husband thinks that I'm being harsh because he's been saving for weeks to buy a new game for his Switch, and he's almost saved enough. He thinks we should just replace it, and ground our son from tech for the day.

But my thoughts are,  my daughter paid for the make up with her own money. She put a lot of thought into picking it, and waited 3 weeks for delivery. My son knows better than to throw things in anger, and maybe now that he's been 'fined' he'll think before he acts.  I'm not making him pay the full price, just the amount that my daughter put in, I paid the rest.

&#x200B;

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You are teaching your son a good lesson about accountability. You didn’t steal his money he ‘stole’ it from his sister when he broke her property. ######


Prompt:
Hello!

As many probably already know, there is a strike planned tomorrow in the US for Amazon, Target, and Walmart workers, amongst a few others I'm sure I'm forgetting.

Well this past month I've been volunteering about once a week to shop for and deliver groceries to families in need, all families with children who are not in school right now and are struggling to eat. The local organization that does it takes donations and only shops at Walmart.

The group message I'm a part of sent out a message tonight asking who could volunteer to shop and deliver tomorrow. I felt very conflicted about this, and pointed out that there is a workers strike tomorrow, asking if we could possibly use a different grocery store for tomorrow only. I was met with a little defensiveness about how Walmart had done so much for our community etc. I said that that was understandable, however workers need rights and hazard pay during the pandemic as much as families need groceries.

I went on to say I would be ok with volunteering my time to deliver groceries to the families tomorrow but I just wasn't comfortable stepping foot inside a Walmart during a strike. I feel like I may have upset a few people and they likely view me as overdramatic and/or having messed up priorities. Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA. You are still volunteering your time while respecting the rights of essential workers to protest. That is admirable especially considering a lot of other people are too busy to volunteer right now. Also, with a protest, it would be hard to deliver groceries anyway. ######


Prompt:
So my close friend (Q) & her bf (W) are getting engaged this weekend. They’ve been dating for 4 years but when they announced their intention to marry, Q’s family was completely against it & said some vile things to W, who is a lovely, wonderful guy. It hurt them both deeply, but they’ve decided to proceed anyways.

In the process of planning (& hiding) the engagement, but I’ve told off 2 people (both girls):

1. A, Q’s other friend who is working with me for deco. She said we should get guests to print their pictures with Q, write cute notes & scatter it around the tables. I thought it was a nice idea until I clarified with her if she meant the guests & THE COUPLE. She said either way was fine, but it was better if it’s just the guests & Q. I told her it wasn’t Q’s birthday, and unless Q’s marrying herself, shouldn’t we be celebrating the couple? She FINALLY got it after multiple times of me repeating it & agreed that we should plan it to surprise the couple.

2. B, another friend who blurted out the idea mentioned above in the group chat with W. When I told her it was meant to be a surprise for both Q & W, B said ‘oh it’s okay, engagements are for the girl anyway’. I was LIVID. B knew how Q’s family treated W & how W has been affected. & she’s just disregarding him? I told B the same thing I told A, & it took a while before she got it.

So yes, my bf said I was harsh but I wanted to know what you guys think. Should I have let them completely ignore W on his engagement day? ######

Response: NTA. You are right, weddings and engagements are for the couple ######


Prompt: (20F) I live with 4 other girls. Due to corona virus, the 4 other girls have chosen to quarantine at either their parents house or with their significant others, which leaves me in the house by myself. We have agreed to split all the base fees for utilities 5 ways, but I am in charge of everything else on top of that. However, base fees don’t cover things like our gardeners using our hose or keeping a refrigerator plugged in at all times or the sensor lights around the front of the house, etc. normally I would pay $60 for utilities a month, but this time, they asked me to pay for $160 of the utilities bill. I understand that because I am living here alone I should be paying for most of the bill, but they haven’t taken into account that there are certain things above the base fees that we would all be paying for if nobody was here. ######

Response: NTA. You are reasonably willing to pay a larger share due to their lack of use of most of the utilities, but sharing only the base fees isn’t a fair assessment for you. You are not suddenly using $100 more in electricity and hot water just for yourself now that everyone is away. They made the decision to stay elsewhere during quarantine but still have a responsibility to maintain their primary residence. If $100 extra a month is a financial burden for you, decide what is reasonable “extra” for you to pitch in and ask for the difference to be split between your roommates. ######


Prompt:
I (31F) live with my husband (28M) for now. Back in December we visited his family for Christmas. Our twins were 1yo. I found them in an unsafe sleeping situation. They were in an indoor dog gate with pillows and a very fluffy blanket. I told him I didn't feel comfortable with that and he asked if I had to be such a "Fucking cunt". I told his grandmother why I was leaving and walked back to his mom's house.

We agreed on a divorce and finally I saved enough money for an apartment. His mom decided to come and visit for the holiday (she lives two states away) so I stayed in order for her to see her grandchildren. After their nap their dad wants to take them to his Aunt's/Uncle's. I just found out I'm no longer allowed in their house. They've never babysat and even got mad at me when I refused to let them in the delivery room.

I told him I'm not leaving my kids for the holiday and he accused me of being spiteful and unamerican (I'm American but grew up overseas), that I prostituted myself to him and got pregnant on purpose (I wasn't suppose to be able to get pregnant), and that I'm being selfish for not letting them go to a 4th of July party without me.

Only problem is, he rarely hangs out with the kids. He'll drink a bottle of vodka or a 12pack of beer in a day. He plays on his computer none stop. He hasn't watched the babies overnight in over a month because he screams at them and throws open doors. I've found him passed randomly on the floor. Found him looking through tinder while at a baby be well appointment. He's screamed at the babies when they were crying because "if they get to make noise I get to make noise too". They don't really like him. Essentially, my kids are always around me and I take care of them 98% of the time.

AITA for not wanting my (18mo) kids to go somewhere where I'm not welcomed? ######

Response: NTA. You are protecting your children. But make sure he doesn't have a legal custody case he could build over this. You don't want him to take you to court and say you're not letting him have his agreed upon custody. ######


Prompt:
Hello,

I am female and 18 years old. Currently I am working part time as a waitress while attending High School. My sister (20) has depression, epilepsy and a trauma which is causion something called dissociation. Because of this she can't go to College or work anymore. She is living with her boyfriend.

My mother and my father (they aren't together) are giving her money monthly.
My mom always tells me to give my sister money because she can't work and has no income.

Maybe I am just the A but I don't want to give her money. I am not one if her parents and not resposible for her. I work for my own money to afford my clothes, sometimes food, going out with friends and stuff I'd like to buy.

My mom is often mad because of this. Her reason is: "You are working and you have money. She can't work so help her."

My dad doesn't know about this.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. You are not your sister's keeper. You aren't financially responsible for anyone other than your kids.

Is it NICE to give her money? Charity is something a lot of people find to be nice.

But charity should NEVER be required. ######


Prompt:
Alright, so my younger brother is 8, and is still unable to wipe his ass, and my parents don't see it as a problem. My mom went to the store earlier, and my dad was at work. My younger brother calls for me and says he took a shit. I called my mom asking what I should do, and she told me to try to help him, if not do it for him. I really feel uncomfortable touching my brother anywhere down there, or even looking at his privates, so me and my other brothers tried to coach him on how to do it. I might get in trouble if he gets a shit stain in his underwear, too. I've previously gotten into some heat with my dad about this too, as he wanted me to wipe him once, and I refused.

WIBTA for feeling uncomfortable and trying to avoid wiping my elementary aged brother's ass when my parents can't?

EDIT: For those of you asking, my brother has no disabilities, although there has been a rumor here and there about him being really high functioning on the autism spectrum ######

Response: NTA. You are not the parent, this is not your responsibility. Your parents are the assholes if they expect you or your brothers to do this. ######


Prompt:
I'm a high school teacher. I have one student who didn't pass, and now his mom and some of his other teachers want to have a meeting this afternoon talk about how we can make up the work and get him credit for his classes so he doesn't have to retake them.

This kid couldn't be bothered to show up and do the work all year. He was chronically absent and didn't do anything on the rare occasion he did show up to class when school was still in session. After the schools closed, he had months at home with no new material in my class that he could have used to make up the work. Instead, he put it all off until the last week of the semester and then half-assed everything because he didn't pay attention in class when we learned how to do the work. I feel like he's dug his own grave, and I haven't seen any changes in behavior that suggest he'd actually start trying to do well now.

On top of that, my contract ended a couple days ago. Sure the school said they'll pay me extra for working with him, but it's outside of my contractual duties. And I already have a summer job starting next week, so I don't want or need the extra hours. The only thing pushing me to join this meeting is a sense of guilt because I wouldn't feel like I was doing everything possible and going the extra mile if I don't attend the meeting. He *will* have to do summer school or retake the class next year if I don't join the meeting and offer him a customized path to make up his missing work, but doing so will further eat into my time over the next two weeks as I'll have to schedule Zoom meetings with him and take time to grade his work.

And my wife gets off work early today. We'll probably just end up watching a movie or something, but I'd rather spend the time with my wife. I feel a little petty saying this, but spending time with my wife is more important to me than trying one more time to save a student who has spent all year sabotaging himself.

So would I be the asshole if I skip this meeting? ######

Response: NTA. You are not obligated to help this kid any more than you already have. If people continue to bail him out at the last second to make sure everything goes fine despite him being lazy, he'll never truly have consequences for his actions. Let him repeat the class next year. Enjoy your time off with your wife. ######


Prompt:
I live with my Dad, his wife, and my step sister Jade (13). I am 19.

Jade has gotten overweight to the point where her asthma has gotten pretty severe and she has prediabetes. The doctor has told her that she need to lose weight. Unfortunately for Jade, her mother only makes like frozen packaged meals or orders takeout.

When she and my father got married I was 12, and I gained a significant amount of weight. My mother showed me how to cook before she passed away, but my step mother refused to let me get my own fresh food to cook.

I have been cooking my own meals since I got my first job.

My step mother and jade have been trying for around three months to get her to lose weight and it hasn’t been working. In my opinion it is because stepmom refuses to cook.

A while ago while I was making my lunch, my step mom came up to me and asked why I don’t make  food for Jade too. I said Jade never really asks me for food, so I never thought to. She then told me that I needed to start making Jade food when I made food to help her control her weight.

I told her I would be willing to show Jade how to make a few healthy meals on her own, but that I was not into cooking meals for her. Jade is pretty picky. I also have a plant based diet that Jade isn’t going to go for. Step mom got angry and told me she would be taking it up with my dad. She says that since I live here rent free (she doesn’t work so she does too tbh) I should help with this.

My dad unfortunately agrees with my step mom. He thinks I’m an ass for not offering to make her food in the first place. I told him that it’s not my problem that step mom can’t cook. She should learn. I’m going to end up cooking separate meals for myself and jade and I don’t think it’s fair.

They have even told Jade that I don’t care about her because I won’t cook her food. Everyone in the house thinks I’m an asshole, am I really an asshole for not cooking her food? ######

Response: NTA. You are not her parent. She has 2 perfectly good parents that can cook for her. ######


Prompt:
Before I start I should go ahead and apologize for any formatting errors because I am on mobile.

Ok so my mom has recently decided to join a Facebook religious cult. She pretty much adds anyone she can on Facebook that is in this group with her. A majority of them are random men from other countries. She has never met any of them. She also has a lot of meth heads on there too. She is a “recovering” meth addict (she claims that she doesn’t so drugs anymore, but her actions speak differently).

Anyways, I recently posted pictures of my daughter on Facebook and tagged her and other family members in them. She is also tagged in older pictures of my children as well. I started getting notifications that these random men were liking and commenting on every single picture of my daughter that my mom is tagged in. They were only commenting and liking pictures of her by herself. They would say that she is the most beautiful girl they have ever seen and that they love her blonde hair and asked my mom to post more pictures of her. She is six years old. I blocked all of them and removed all of the tags of my mom.

This is where I’m not sure if I over reacted or if I was justified in doing this. Because now my mom and grandma are telling me that I am trying to keep my mom out of my daughters life by not tagging her in pictures. My grandma told me that I’m a huge disappointment and that I shouldn’t judge the men just because they said she’s beautiful. So Reddit.... AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You are looking out for the safety of your daughter and keeping her away from the eyes of these skeevy ass strangers. Your mom and grandma are being naive af about the situation and that's not your fault if they don't understand. ######


Prompt:
On April 3rd, our neighbors put up two lawn signs. One says, “Jesus, I just want to thank you for having my mommy keep me.” The other one has a bible verse. I found their signs incredibly insensitive and ordered a pink “I support Planned Parenthood” sign for our lawn.

Our sign was delivered today and my husband is worried that putting it up will cause a “war” with the neighbors. We’re not friends with them. Occasionally, my husband will chat with the husband when they are both grilling. We don’t know the wife or daughter’s name.

I’m active military and we will move in the next year (we rent a house off base) so I don’t care what the neighbors think - but my husband’s support is important to me.

Would I be the asshole for posting a “I support Planned Parenthood” sign in our front lawn? ######

Response: NTA. You are expressing yourself just as they are. It may come off as a bit passive aggressive to them but honestly who cares. I'd buy 3 more lol ######


Prompt: So, recently I learned just how homophobic my brother is. It turns out he repeats that “gays go to hell and are bad” to his CHILDREN. I am a pan/bi guy, and this shocked me seeing how he was only a little on the “gays are bad” side until now. I have reinforced it in my niece and nephew that what he is saying is not true nor is it good. His blatant homophobia has caused my niece, a usually sweet girl, to call people gay or lesbian as an insult. I, again, have tried to reinforce it to her and telling her that calling someone gay or lesbian as an insult is not very good. All of this has caused me to hate my step-brother and his wife due to this. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. You are entitled to what you feel but those are ultimately his kids. You can't control how he raises them.

However, if you do want to influence his kids to be more tolerant, reason with them instead of telling them. For example, ask them why do they think gay people are bad? What have they done to deserve being called bad?

Children love to be taken seriously. Having conversations like these may actually help them think and reason for themselves instead of blindly following their father. ######


Prompt:
I (21F) recently moved in to a new flat, now I'm living by myself and the cats, which is much better because I was having a hard time with my ex-flatmate. Where I used to live, my boyfriend (M23) had the keys, for a while it was ok but suddenly he started to make some suprise visits and I got really scared it could be someone breaking into my house, apart from the fact that sometimes I need to be alone to study.

I moved to this flat 3 months ago and I made an extra copy to my brother, as sometimes I have to travel, he takes care of my cats.

The """problem""" of my new building is that I have to go all the way down to open the door for guests to come in, and this fact is really bothering my boyfriend! The street I live is dark during the night, so can be quite scary but is not dangerous.

He basically wants the keys because he is afraid of my street and if someday I don't answer my phone to open the door he thinks I will put his life in danger.

Despite from that, he also brings the fact that he had the keys of my old house and is weird he doesn't have of my new one. During a discussion I made an unfortunate comment... I said "we are not married, I am the one that lives here, not you and you don't even pay rent". He was upset and I said that on the heat of the moment but it seems like he can't understand that I enjoy my personal space and having the key or not will not make him stop visiting me. I don't have the key of his house and I couldn't care less. ######

Response:
 NTA. You are entitled to personal space. Who gave him keys to your old flat? If it WASN'T you, bring that up. If it WAS you, then you need to make it clear that you gave him those keys as a sign of trust, and he violated that by not giving you any warning when he was coming over. Tell him that surprise visits are unwelcome, and if he can abide by only coming over when you've approved the visit, then he can earn back the privilege of having his own keys, but you have the right to take those keys back if he keeps violating your boundaries.

You are allowed to have boundaries. ######


Prompt:
Before you think I’m a horrible person, there is a reason. My cousin, Linda, has the most lovely 3-year old ever. I love her with all my heart and I miss them like crazy.

Linda lives about an hour away from me(26f) and my sisters (14, 23, 28, 29). Since all of this crazy mess happened, if a cousin had a birthday in the area we would all drive by their house, beep, and say Happy Birthday. The cousins we’ve done it with have been 9 and 15. Their parents reached out to us before hand that they would like us to come and do this.

Linda has not asked anyone to come to hers, probably distance being a reason. But Linda’s daughter has been having a hard time with not being able to play with others. She has a 6-month sister, and Linda has constantly been keeping the kids entertained. Linda’s mom and sister live right next door to them, but since her sister is an essential worker, they haven’t been able to go over and play.

Linda told me and my sisters about how said her daughter would get extremely upset when her sister and mom would say hi through the window. After they leave, she would need to be comforted because she would constantly ask “why doesn’t anyone want to play with me”.

When my oldest sister suggested we drive over there to say happy birthday from the car, I said we should ask Linda first. My sister said she would rather have it as a surprise. I kept insisting, saying that I don’t think it’s a good idea and let’s at least ask Linda because while it may be fun for the few minutes we are there, we are not the ones that have to console a sad 3-year old after we leave.

My sister got angry at me and uninvited me to go. I understand that they want to do something nice (Linda’s husband actually put together a video of family singing happy birthday for her along with a special message from a princess) but not at the cost of causing more harm than good. I at the very least would like Linda to know so she can decide if her child can handle it.

So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You are completely correct in your reasoning and I really think you should give your cousin a heads up on this. My heart hurts for that little girl. Please tell her I would love to play with her if I could. ######


Prompt:
There's actually 2 incidences that lead to this post. Some context: I'm (25F) currently living with my parents due to circumstances & cause I'm doing my PhD. When I'm home, I wear a baggy t-shirt with  shorts. My shorts are the sporty type (sorta like jogging shorts), but my t-shirts can cover them cause they're super baggy. When I'm alone or coming out of my room at 1am to get water, sometimes I can't be bothered to wear my shorts.

First incident: my stepmom mentioned quite a number of times that my shorts are too short & I should wear longer shorts around my dad because 'he's still a man'. I asked her if she listened to herself when she said that & she doesn't answer me. She also gets agitated when I'm not wearing my shorts when I come out for 5 mins at 1am to get water. My dad goes to sleep at 9pm, so he's not around when I'm shorts-less.

Second incident: my step aunt was coming over to use our Wifi for work & I'm in my shorts & baggy t-shirt combo. Apparently she was uncomfortable with the way I dress cause I could influence her daughter (my step cousin, who is 14). But the thing is, I'm still clothed. And my shorts aren't so short until you can see my butt cheeks.

My stepmom mentioned my shorts again, but this time I got annoyed & asked her if I should wear jeans. She said no, but that I should wear longer shorts. I told her that my shorts look extra short because I'm wearing a baggy t-shirt, but she still says they're too short. I refuse to buy new shorts just to appease her, but I am wondering if I'm TA.

So reddit, please give me some input. ######

Response: NTA. You are an adult. Bodies are not inherently sexual. You should be allowed to be comfortable at home. He is your dad. Your step mother sounds gross and sexist. There is just so much assholery going on here, but none of it because of you. ######


Prompt: Im m, 23, and im currently staying with my mom until I can get my own place again. Shes bipolar and on disability, and has been manic off and on for some time. She also has been having some paranoia. For a while, things got so bad that she came into my room 2 or 3 times an hour all night long, for multiple days. She had all kinds of paranoid reasons to justify this, such as a man's face appearing in her phone, people were out to get her, etc. I tried handling it as kindly as possible at first, but I have my own mental health issues and it got to the point where I was literally unable to sleep. So, I grabbed a couple of crutches we had laying around and braced my door shut with them to keep her out. Its literally become my nightly routine. In fact, she just tried coming in a few minutes ago, and it's going on 2 am here. On a Wednesday. Shes insisting that I am making everyone in the house "unsafe" by bracing my door shut, bc I sometimes have my window open and if someone came in through it I would be unable to leave the room quickly, would be silenced, and then everyone in the house would be screwed. I feel like this is paranoid nonsense, and shes just pissed that I stopped her from being able to barge in at all hours of the night whenever she feels like it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You are an adult, not a toddler that needs to be checked up on throughout thr night. ######


Prompt:
My mom and I (18F) have always had an extremely close relationship. Basically I have always talked to her about everything and she is someone I look to for guidance.  I started dating this guy (18M) at the beginning of college. My mom, being pretty religious, has always made it clear she wants me to wait until marriage to have sex. I agree with her on most things, but not this. I think it is my decision when I want to have sex and with whom.

Anyway, I started taking birth control about a month ago because I planned on having sex with my boyfriend. But we got sent home from college so it never happened. But I’m still taking the birth control because we probably still will.

Anyway, my mom saw my birth control and asked me if I’m having sex. I said no. She then accused me of lying for days. Eventually, we talked and she finally believed me when I told her I’m not yet but am planning to.

Then she said that she would like to know when we do decide to so we can talk before hand, I know it’s just going to be her last attempt at trying to discourage me. I told her it’s my decision and she doesn’t need to know when and now she’s mad. AITA? Since it’s wouldn’t be any trouble for me to just tell her, but I don’t think it’s her business. ######

Response:
 NTA. You are an adult so it’s not her business to know. Your body, your choice.

And birth control isn’t always for preventing pregnancies. I take birth control to help with acne. ######


Prompt:
So my (f22) bf (m22) mentioned that he and his coworker send weird hentai to each other as a joke. I immediately got annoyed and told him it was inappropriate and I wasn’t comfortable with it. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with it but told me he wouldn’t do it if it made me uncomfortable.  He tells me I guess your right. I wasn’t trying to make this about me being right or trying to attack him, I told him I was just trying to get my feelings across. He just responded with I understand and that was it. Now he isn’t texting me. Was I blowing this out of proportion? This all happened over text btw.

Edit: the coworker was female. That’s why I was upset. ######

Response:
 NTA. You are allowed to have limits of what you consider comfortable, and sharing sexual texts with a coworker can absolutely be outside of your comfort zone.

He has agreed with you that you are allowed to be uncomfortable, and has agreed to suspend the activity. So I'd give him some time to see if he's just busy, or if he's sulking, or what he's up to. ######


Prompt: My boyfriend is allergic to shellfish. His throat closes up within an few hours if we don’t get to the emergency room on time. He doesn’t need an epipen but he does need to get to the emergency room to take a methyl prednisone pill. I am aware of these allergies and always do my best to accommodate them. I would never want him to be hurt. However, we disagree on the severity of his allergy. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. I have seen him have allergy attacks, but they’ve never been immediate and always took 8-2 hours before bothering him. Recently my boyfriend has had allergy attacks due to him and other people being negligent (never me!), this has caused my boyfriend to be extremely anxious about his allergy. When we first started dating we would go our for Chinese food all the time (my favorite food, yes this is the most important problem we’re having right now). He would tell people he had an allergy and has NEVER had an allergic reaction from these outings. Due to recent events, he doesn’t want to go anymore, which is understandable. However, now he won’t let ME eat it either! Just to be clear, I don’t eat shellfish or anything fried when I order, I always say I have an allergy as well so it’ll be safe, AND I brush my teeth, rinse my mouth, wash my face and wash my hands, sometimes I’ll even change my shirt if I’m worried. Again, he has never had an allergic reaction because of me. I am very careful. Every time I order I also make sure he is in the mood for something I don’t want so he doesn’t feel left out. AITA for wanting to eat Chinese food? ######

Response: NTA. You are allowed to eat whatever you want. You also respect the fact that he has allergies, and accommodate to him. He should respect that even after you eat it you do everything to can to make sure he is not harmed. ######


Prompt:
Bare with me, this will probably be a long one.

Me (31F, no siblings) and my boyfriend (M27) of 8 years are going to hopefully be buying our first home this year. Something I never thought I would be able to do considering my childhood.

My mother (63) has undefined mental health issues (it’s a mixture of being a narcissist and bi polar, at a guess) and is living with my father (66) illegally because she refused to get a job once the government stopped giving her money when I turned 18. My dad pays for everything for her with what little money he has.

My childhood was rough, I lived in poverty and because of my mothers issues she refused to allow me to get an education. My childhood was pretty bad, think no dinners, no friends, not allowed outside the house unless accompanied by her. Not because of money issues (we were poor but we would technically be able to buy food/electricity/clothes/etc), but simply my mother was too lazy/too mentally unwell to do anything about it. In turn I had severe anxiety and depression up until I met my boyfriend and my boyfriend got me out of the apartment I was in. My dad intervening in my education when I was 18 and that was the reason why I managed to be lucky enough to meet my boyfriend.

Now, my dad keeps jokingly saying would there be space for him and/or my mother in my new house. I know he’s half serious. But I really, really do not want to take my mother into my home, if anything happens to my dad my mother may technically be out on the streets and will plead with me to take her in. But I simply cannot do that. I have worked extremely hard to get into the position I am in now to have a normal anxiety free life (I’m now medicated), but I fear my mother will wail and cry asking me how could I do this to her, when my question was how could she do what she did to me as a child?

So, WIBTA if I point blank refuse to allow either of my parents to live in my home? ######

Response:
 NTA. You are allowed protect your health and mental health recovery above and beyond anything else after working so hard to get well.

Your parents don’t have the right to expect you to allow them to move in with you and while your mothers potential future homelessness is sad it is not your fault or responsibility.

Have you heard the saying. “You aren’t obliged to set yourself on fire to keep others warm”? ######


Prompt:
My [18f] boyfriend [18m] and I have been together for 2 years and are moving out together soon. He sort of wants a roommate to help pay rent and everything, but none of our friends want to do it except one.

I've known this friend longer than I've known my boyfriend, and he has always made me very uncomfortable. He used to be really into me and would just generally be creepy. He's gotten better about it, but I just have this gut feeling that it won't turn out good and it makes me very, very deeply uncomfortable, partially because of some past experiences.

I don't want this to seem like my boyfriend is just being a dick. He is not. His reasoning for this is that it will take a pretty good chunk out of what we have to pay, and he likes said friend. I see how it might be nice, but I've been calculating my ass off and we'd both have a good 4 or 5 hundred or more each month after paying rent, groceries, etc.

It's a good reason, but I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that screams this is an awful idea. I can honestly barely stand to be around this person more than an hour or two, and he makes me deeply uncomfortable. This is stressing me out so much and every time I try to talk to him about it he gets mad, even if he's the one who brings up talking about it. This is to the point where it makes me not want to even live with my boyfriend, but my home life is so draining and stressful that either one sounds awful. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

tl;dr: my friend makes me very deeply uncomfortable but my partner sees it as absolutely necessary that we let him move in. ######

Response: NTA. You are a member of this house just as much as he is. Any additions need to have a 100 percent backing from both of you. Home is where you need to relax and rest and if this friend of yours can’t allow you to do that, he’s not fit to be your roommate. ######


Prompt:
Hello,

First of all, sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my native langage.

Recently, I (20f) had an argument with my boyfriend (25m). We've been together for almost two years now and I've never hidden the fact that I have severe endometriosis. Because of that I had to go under surgery to remove life threatening cysts (my ovaries could have litteraly explod). I want kids, but later, when I can afford to take care of them. Now is my problem, because of the cysts and the disease in general, I'm pratically sterile, and I would have to freeze my last eggs to preserve them and use them when I'll want kids. For that I have to go under treatment for a month, then collect the eggs through another surgery and to be sure I'll have chances to get pregnant I have to go through this 3 or 4 times. (It would cost me nothing, my assurance will pay for 5 tries max)

My parents support me, because my mother went through the same thing, they want grandchildren and my happiness, but my boyfriend disagree. He does not want kids, I never asked him to become a father in our situation but I want to save my chances for later. He thinks that because he does not want kids, I should not try to save my eggs because he won't change his mind. I want to do it for me, nothing tells me he won't change his mind, or that we will still be together when I want kids. I think he's being selfish and inconsiderate of my own choices and body. I never said I wanted to use those eggs right now and force him to be a father, so this has nothing to do with him ? He said that eventually he will leave me if I speak about it again or agree to the treatment.

I don't think it is wrong for me to do something with my body that has nothing to do with him, so do you thing I am? ######

Response:
 NTA. You are 20. There is no way to predict what you want and who you’ll be with in 10 or 15 years. It is ridiculous to NOT save your eggs now, when it is free to do so, JUST IN CASE you aren’t with him them. If you marry and stay together forever and still don’t want them, no harm no foul. Many women are now freezing eggs so that they can concentrate on their careers and just have one less thing to worry about... or delay worrying about. Some companies even pay for it!

I am happily child free, but I always assumed I had time to decide. Cue turning 38 and I took some tests to just learn more about my body and I have basically 0 eggs left. Like I’m literally perimenopausal 12 years early. Thank god, I’m ok with that, but if I wasn’t, I’d be shelling out tens of thousands of dollars for donor eggs and ivf. I am also not even close to being with the guy I was with at 20, much less the same mindset. Just do it. He either gets over the fact that you have the ability to one day have kids or he doesn’t. But that’s a “risk” with most women he will date or marry. If he doesn’t, I feel like this is a really good time to know a) how he feels about even the idea of kids and b) how he feels about the concept of bodily autonomy and preventative health care. ######


Prompt:
My ex and I broke up last year. We had a very good run and over the years his friends became my friends too. There is a photo on my Instagram of me, him and a friend of ours at one of our other friends' wedding. I think it's a very sweet photo that captured the the memory of that night, so I never deleted that one photo despite having all other photos of my ex removed. Today, my ex texted me asking me to delete said photo. I told him I'm still considering whether I will, as the photo involved another person and I like the time that it represents (i.e. when everything was alright and well).

I'm leaning more towards deleting to be nice, say 65:45. But if I refused to delete the photo, would that make me the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. You and your ex had experiences. Deleting the photos won't mean those experiences happened. There are no reasons to delete the picture (or any of the pics if you had wanted to keep them). ######


Prompt:
For reference I'm 21 years old and currently reside in the north east (US). My parents are mid 50s.

This summer my parents decided to take off and spend the majority of their summer house shopping in Florida, as they're looking to retire soon. I was left home alone for that entire time to take care of the house and dogs. I was working a virtual internship at home and being paid enough to easily support myself living alone (my own food/gas while they still paid the actual bills) in my parents house.

My internship has finished up so my parents want me to fly down to Florida and see the house they just made an offer for. I bought my own round trip ticket (ridiculously cheap cause no one is flying right now) to see my parents and spend the weekend playing golf and hanging out.

Today my dad sprung on me that I should forgo flying home and instead drive with them 5 days later. The drive is about 16 hours and they want to leave 5 days later than I would be on my flight. I don't have much time before returning to school, so I was looking forward to having those last few days to relax at home. Not to mention my school is in the south and I drive, so I'd basically be driving home with them to turn around and drive back the way I came a few days later.  After explaining to my dad that I didn't want to drive back with them as that wasn't the original plan, the limited time I have until I return to school, and the fact that I paid for a flight he freaked out calling me entitled, saying that they needed my help to drive back. I refused and said I'll be taking the flights I paid for and then he said "enjoy your flight, don't plan on staying with us if you won't come back with us" and hung up.

AITA here for not wanting to drive 16 hours? ######

Response: NTA. You already paid for the flight and made other plans. If he wanted your help with the driving he should have asked you earlier. ######


Prompt:
I (25F) am currently stuck in my apartment with my 2 other roommates (Dave, 27M; Sarah 24F). We all met through mutual friends and have a good roommate relationship, we aren't close friends but in normal times we do things together occasionally.

Recently we've been sharing food costs and everyday a different roommate does the cooking and we all eat. We each have certain foods we don't like and are allowed to take a pass on that food being cooked. For one of my roommates (24F) she expects meat at every meal and will actively avoid vegetarian or vegan foods. It's not a health thing it's a preference thing and she has told us as much.

Well my one roommate (Dave), went grocery shopping the other day and came back with some Chorizo that I had requested for making Shaksuka. It turned out really good and Sarah expressed interest in having the meal again. She had never had Chirozo before and so she dug the wrapper out of the garbage to see what spices were in it. It's then that we found out Dave had accidentally bought 'soyrizo' rather than the meaty kind. Sarah was livid and starting saying I was trying to trick her into being vegan. (Note: none of us are vegan or vegetarian nor have ever been). Dave and I told her it was an accident but she wouldn't hear it. She's been ignoring us since last night and has since stated she will be cooking her own food and will be taking her pans into her room so that we won't 'contaminate them with tofu'.

I understand her frustration but the whole thing was an accident that I unfortunately can't undo. I think this while thing is just a misunderstanding but it's getting hostile in the apartment and I'm starting to feel like the asshole. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. You "understand her frustration"? How? What is there to understand? She's insane. And an asshole. ######


Prompt:
Title sounds bad but here me out

I have a child who is 18. My daughter knew that my wife was having an affair with another women for 2 years and she had evidence off it stored on her phone. Me and my wife are not able to afford a lot of things I had my suspicions when my wife gave my daughter a 2000 dollar gift   on her birthday when we are normally not able to afford it and the money did not came out of our bank accounts. I also had more suspicions that when my wife started giving her more expensive gifts in general.

Today I was checking my daughters phone cause my daughter was caught with porn and that she was also caught bullying people. I found some texts to a random lady that my wife was cheating with and that my daughter said she can't wait to meet her new mother and she can't wait to leave her dirty old father. My daughter also said stuff like Men are gross and disgusting to look at and how they should all be in jail

When my daughter asked for her phone (I paid for it) I refused to give it to her telling her that she could ask her new mom for one. My daughter asked what new mom and showed her text she tried her best to having a poker face but she broke. I told my daughter that from now on I am no longer her father and I don't want nothing to do with her.

 I said you have a new mother now your mom's new gf. My daughter asked what about her college that I was supposed to pay for her. I told her I am using that money for vacation eventually and that she can expect her new mom to pay for it. My daughter angrily left and when she sees me she yells at me so aita for not wanting anything to do with my daughter after she betrayed me. ######

Response: NTA. Yes she is young but she knew exactly what she was doing. You can’t blame this on ignorance ######


Prompt:
My provincial government has released a 3.5 million dollar support fund for university students, and a 1.5 million dollar fund for indigenous students.

I couldn’t care less. Having a separate fund for indigenous students (who make up a decent percentage of the university population) will likely result in more money for all of us. So it may work out better for literally every student? At least that’s what I believe.

My mom sent the news article to our family chat, accompanied with “they don’t work and get free school. OP, aren’t you mad about this? You work your butt off to pay for school”. I went up to her in person and said that I already applied for funding so I don’t care, and that it was a really harmful thing to say in front of my 14 year old brother that “natives don’t work”.

She started bitching at me about how lazy they are and I said that she was being a racist and it’s disgusting. She stomped to her room and slammed the door to call my father. I just received an angry text saying that was disrespectful to call my mother a racist and I have no idea what racism is.

AITA for saying she’s racist?? ######

Response: NTA. Yeah, what she said is racist, plain and simple and your father is enabling it at the very least. ######


Prompt:
I f16 and my brother m29 usually get along well but since i was about 10 years old all responability of his daughter f8 has fallen on me. I love my niece so much, shes always been the sweetest kid and i love to play with her, shes like my mini me, but for 2 weeks straight its just like  havinv my own kid.
My brother and his ex have split custody and we have my niece 2 weeks out of the month and while shes in i do everything! Getting her ready in the morning, cooking for her, doing her hair, helping her wash her hair in the bath, doing all homework and bedtime reading and playing ALL DAY. I dont mind helping out with her but its expected of me and it can get really Frustrating, especially when i have to stay home from plans and babysit without pay so he can go out. So WITBA if i told him its not my job to raise his child? ######

Response: NTA. Y'all need to have a serious discussion about how much work he's offloading onto you. ######


Prompt:
First, my sister and I are twins. We did the SAT during March 14, and we made a deal with each other. Whoever got the lower score would do the other person’s chores for the entire summer break. We both agreed on this, and we asked our mother to enforce it. Obviously minors can’t enter contracts, but our mom is the supreme authority on chores.

It turns out that I barely got higher than her. I have a 1500, while she got a 1480. I still beat her; therefore, I am chore-free for the entire summer. It turns out, she didn’t want to do that. She didn’t do my chores for the entire week, and then she got in trouble for it. She’s semi-grounded until she does all the chores.

I still fold my own laundry, and we all wash our own dishes. She just has to do extra stuff, like mow and fertilize the lawn, etc. She’s very mad at me now, for obvious reasons. She wants me to do my share of the chores. The thing is, we had an agreement. I’m positive that if I got the worse score, then she’d not care that I would’ve to do more chores.

I’m not going to relinquish her of her duty, but I just want to see how wrong I am.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Y'all made a deal, and there's no extenuating circumstances. She just doesn't want to do it.

But for the sake of your relationship, consider calling the whole thing off, unless you want to spend the rest of the summer having this argument. ######


Prompt: We have been married for 7 years. The first half, at least was pretty rough. He kept several flirtationships hidden. Some went too far. We have worked on things and it’s been pretty quiet but I know I still have some lingering trust issues. A few days ago he started messaging the woman that cuts his hair to see if she would come over to our house to cut his hair. I let him know I wasn’t comfortable with that for a lot of reasons, mostly not having some stranger walking around the house. He took my objection as insecurity and let me know he talks to attractive women all the time. He then told me a funny story about his coworker betting him $20 that he couldn’t get an attractive woman’s name in 1 minute at a place they were working. He got her name, it just took a little longer than a minute. I was thrown off by that and let him know I didn’t think that was ok. He told me” I thought we were past all that”. I personally didn’t think it was a cute story but now he’s made it clear he just won’t tell me so I don’t overreact. AITA for taking issue with his bet? Or objecting to having a random person over at the house? ######

Response: NTA. Wtf. Your husband has no respect for you. If this is something that you are uncomfortable with, and you have expressed this to him, and he continues to do it, he is not being fair to you at all. This is not normal behavior, and in my opinion, borders on emotional cheating. The fact that he dismisses your concerns as “insecurities” is even worse. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday was my \[24f\] birthday.  My boyfriend already said he'd take me out for dinner to celebrate since last week, and I let my family know maybe 3-4 days ago. (for those of you wondering about lockdown, I live in a country where we have had restrictions relaxed as new cases have been in the low digits for a month)

Birthdays have never been big in my family.  I haven't received gifts from either of my parents since i turned 15 and the occasion never warranted much except perhaps dinner outside.  So to compensate, I suggested yesterday that we celebrate my birthday today instead.  Neither of my parents said anything.  I made the reservation earlier today, and now we're getting ready to go out.

My mum decides to tell me that my dad is not going because he's mad at me for going out for dinner yesterday with my boyfriend rather than spending it with my family.  She said I'm in the wrong for choosing to spend it with my boyfriend, and that she and my dad are not going to dinner today.  Obviously, I was confused and mildly pissed.  I don't think I'm TA for choosing who to spend my birthday with.  It's not like my dad even cares about for birthday for the past 10 years; no cards, no gifts, not even a verbal 'happy birthday' have I ever received.  That was the case yesterday too; only my mum wished me happy birthday.  So I was perplexed as to why he would suddenly be angry at me for not spending my birthday with him.  And there's the dinner today that I already told my family I've made reservations for; he's just making it worse by saying he's not going.

AITA here? ######

Response: NTA. Wtf? How can they seriously expect you to want to spend your birthday with them when they haven’t cared for the past 10 years? You want to spend it with someone who actually cares about you and that’s completely fine. Plus, you invited them to dinner tonight so I don’t see their problem. Clearly they’re jealous. ######


Prompt:
When I was still dating my wife I spent a christmas at her place and with her family. They had this bullshit rule that I couldn't see teh family opening up their presents so they told me to wait in the basemnt. I didn't think it would tkae so long but it  took 2-3 hours.

My gf's sisters' bfs were down there too. The three of us played pool and one of htem brought a bunch of beers so we actually had a lot of fun. One of them had been in this situation for a previous christmas or two so he came prepared this time with all the beers. We became really good friends after this actually. I normally would've said fuck this but my apartment and my family were in other states so I couldn't. After about 2-3 hours they let us out of the basement and we were a fairly drunk.

Family is pissed off but what did they expect, they ditched us for several hours in the basemnt, that was hella fucked up. Its bullshit that we couldn't be there for that, especially since my girlfriend and some of their family members got me gifts and I brought gifts for 10 people in that room. (basically everyone i knew personally).

we had the christmas lunch/supper or whatever nad when it was time for us to leave they asked me how did i enjoy the Christams party and I said it sucked but hte best part was chilling with the boys down in the basemnt. Girlfriend was kind of pissed and so was the family. I havn't apologized since and my wife is telling me i need to post this here to see who's right. I was still drunk when that happened and honestly i feel bad for getting drunk on christmas, im not sure if that was right and not because of the family, but i feel like that might have been disrespectful to Jesus though im not sure, if any priests/pastors are here , tell me if that was wrong. Anyways i dont think i owe my wife's family na apology cuz what they did was messed up yo ######

Response: NTA. Wtf kind of rule is that? If that's their tradition then they shouldn't invite non family, or maybe don't do gifts while you have company. They were incredibly rude especially since you and others brought gifts to exchange. What the hell are they getting each other that their guests need to be kept in the dark. ######


Prompt:
I know it’s a weird title, sorry. Also on mobile so layout might be strange.

So around a year ago I (M15) was diagnosed with Leukemia. Six months later and I was having a life saving bone marrow transplant. I was in the same room for a month, tired and sleeping 6 hours a day and 12 at night. I have now (almost) fully recovered but my muscles have a while to go before I am back to my fully fit self. I can walk and jump but I can’t run or joy without lots of effort and pain in my joints.

Anyway today I went on a dog walk with my mother (44) and my sister (12). My sister has a brain tumour, diagnosed just a few months after me. Unlucky, I know. She has to wear a splint on her leg and has extremely limited movement in her right arm and leg.

Halfway through the walk our dog, who’s an 18 week old puppy runs to see a dog. My mum is holding the lead and lets go, meaning our puppy can now run off to see the other dog. My mum has for some reason come out wearing sandals and therefore can’t run after him. She doesn’t even make the effort. She instantly looks back at me and yells ‘well run then!’ I say back: ‘I can’t!’ I give a desperate attempt to jog but it hurts too much to run. Our puppy at this point is simply wagging his tail 5 feet away and sniffing the other dog. Not moving anywhere. My mum walks up to him and grabs his lead, then looks back at me and says, ‘it’s like I have to babysit for you all the time. You can’t do anything by yourself. It’s like you’re a 5 year old.’ I can’t argue back because she hates being wrong. She doesn’t take a single bit of the blame even though she dropped the lead in the first place. AITA for not trying to run?

TL:DR I had to have a bone marrow transplant and stayed in a bed for ages, meaning it hurts lots to run. On a dog walk and mum let’s go of lead, expects me to run after dog. I try but can’t. She calls me a 5 year old and makes me feel embarrassed and like an asshole. AITA for not running after the dog? ######

Response: NTA. WTF is wrong with your mom? ######


Prompt:
Recently we found out some information about my brother in law’s baby momma. The pair is separated, but not divorced, and share custody of their children. My husband’s sister told us that his brother’s baby mama showed up at her house driving drunk, with the children in the car. This woman and his brother have three children together, all under the age of 12. One of the children (6) had also told her that their mom had let them go swimming that day and talked about how she had helped her little sister (4) back onto the steps when she fell off. His sister said that it was none of her business and that she was not going to tell their brother.

Of course, later that night I pressed the issue with my husband. He was extremely uncomfortable about it. I kept telling him that I love those children and that I couldn’t not bear the thought of anything happening to them and that he needed to tell his brother about the incident. Finally, after pressing the issue until the next morning he sent a text to his brother explaining what he had heard.

 A few nights ago we also learned that the baby mama had been involuntarily admitted into the hospital for mental health reasons. She told my husband’s brother that she couldn’t pick up the kids because she was “sick”. No one in the family wants to tell him the real reason because it is “not my business”.

I went off on my husband about this. I feel that no one is taking the safety of these kids seriously. I understand that not all mentally ill people are at risk of harming their children, but the father of the children definitely has a right to know. I also don’t understand why his whole family (his sister, his brother, and his mother) are keeping this from him. I told my husband that it is his business if he cares about his nieces and nephews. He told me to not stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. He refuses to tell his brother about what has happened. I have told him that if he doesn’t, then I will.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Wtf is wrong with your husband’s family?  It is absolutely their business that their very young relatives are being put in dangerous situations. ######


Prompt:
Keeping somethings vague because otherwise, they are too identifiable

My husband and I have known each other for 12+ years, married for 7. We have kinky sex lives, and I am not straight (bi), I dated women before him. But we have always had a monogamous relationship. About 2 years ago he started kidding about a threesome (or so I thought), and I laughed it off as sex talk or what you say when you are kinda drunk. Whatever.

I am not actually opposed to the idea, but I think there has to be a larger (sober) conversation about boundaries, expectations, ect .... which we have never had because it wasnt a real possibility to me. He would in the heat of sex talk dirty about how much he would like to see me and another girl, but I thought it was just that, dirty talk.

Fast-forward to now, I find out (because he told me during sex) that not only has he posted pictures of me to reddit without me knowing but that he has been talking to a woman that commented on the picture about setting up a threesome. He set her pictures of me, and sent her a dick pic next to a ruler .... He volunteered all of this, and then later gave me his reddit password like there was nothing wrong .....

For so many reasons I am upset. This is a man I have trusted for 12 years, and I feel like he used me overnight and doesnt see whats wrong with it. I actually havent confronted him yet because I dont know if I am overreacting .... I never actually said no, I thought it was obvious and that we were roleplaying. ######

Response: NTA. Wtf is wrong with him. Talking dirty is one thing, sending dick pics and nudes of your wife without her permission or knowledge is an entirely different thing. What a douche. ######


Prompt: Needless to say, I've bee dating this girl for a month and granted sometimes she likes to dress a little tomboyish every now and then but she lives an hour away and when she gets ready to leave my place to head home, I always find her putting on one of my outfits and trying to wear it when she heads home and I'm not just talking a shirt, I'm talking a shirt, pants, underwear, hat, etc, etc. Just last week she started to put on my belt and when I saw her I told her please not to use my belt because it's $40 and I use it every day because I only have the one. Well, guess what, she still wore it without me knowing and I have yet to see my belt back and he acts like when I bring this up that I'm so inconsiderate and she's going to bring it back and try to make me feel bad for being upset about her wearing my stuff when she shouldn't be touching it at all especially if she hasn't even asked if she can. Like when I found her wearing the whole outfit I kinda snapped and just asked her in what part of the world is it okay to put on someone else clothes without even asking and just start wear it when you leave to head back home and think there's nothing wrong with it and its okay. So when I snapped a little-told her a simple rule that I was taught growing up is #If it's not yours then don't touch it. Especially if you haven't even asked if you could touch/use/borrow the item that's not even yours in the first place." Well after gave her think a small bit of advice she started acting like a smart ass and saying sorry, just sorry for trying to look good for a job interview that I have. Sorry. (The outfit she was wearing what a untuck Buttondown with pink flamingos and levis boot cut khakis. That didn't even look interview worthy) So am I the Asshole. ######

Response: NTA. Wtf is wrong with her? I thought you were going to say that she wanted to take home one of your sweaters or something (I disagree with even doing that, but I would at least be more sympathetic), but taking whole outfits? That's... weird. Definitely not okay and you are right to be upset. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so a bit of a backstory here: I’m a teenager, so naturally i still live with my mom (my parents are divorced). I tend to have problems sleeping that result in me staying up until like three am. This doesn’t affect my energy throughout the day or anything, it’s just what I need to do to actually be able to sleep. Sleeping medication doesn’t work for me. So I’m always awake whenever the following occurs.

My mom doesn’t usually have trouble sleeping, but she does sometimes. And when she does, she thinks that the best thing for her to do is to crawl into my bed and try to snuggle with me. This makes me wildly uncomfortable because I dislike being touched like that unless I’m the one initiating. It’s also very uncomfortable for me physically because she tends to have warm skin and I absolutely hate heat when I sleep. I sleep without covers and with the fan on as high as I can set it. It’s also just really weird to me. I’m sixteen, and I feel as if she isn’t respecting my personal space and boundaries. I’ve brought the fact that I dislike this up to her and she still continues to do this. I have no idea why.

Today, I was up late, as I typically am, and she came in to try to get in my bed. I literally scooted as far away from her as I possibly could and kept shaking her off and asking her stuff like “why are you in my bed” and whatnot. She eventually left after a few minutes ( she usually stays for longer ). I know for a fact that in the morning, she’s going to make a comment about how it was rude of me to not let her cuddle with me in bed. But it genuinely makes me so uncomfortable and I hate it, and I’ve brought this up with her.

AITA for not letting her stay in my bed? ######

Response: NTA. Wow. That is....disturbing levels of breaking boundaries. ######


Prompt:
So my parents have been having issues for as long as I can remember, but the last few months it has gotten worse. Today my parents called me (F21) and my little brother downstairs to announce they're getting a divorce. My dad was adamant in saying "this is your mom's doing, I don't want this, all the hurt is on her", without ever reflecting on his own wrongdoings in this relationship.

I fully understand that he is hurt in this situation and that he doesn't want to hear from his own daughter that she agrees to a divorce- Basically agreeing to breaking up the family. I tried to explain that I rather see them happy separately and that a house filled with arguments and emotional manipulation isn't a good place for me and my little brother.

He interrupted me saying that he called me down to have his "semi-adult" daughter try to mend their relationship and support them in fixing their marriage- like a mediator. He stood up, pointed his finger in my face, and said: "I'm disappointed, disappointed, disappointed. Here you are siding with your mom to wreck this family.".

I know it wasn't the answer he wanted to hear, but how can he expect me to lie and side with him when I don't agree at all? I have tried in the past to help my parents out- my mom had compromised tremendously and my dad simply can't see what is so frustrating to my mom (the fact that he just can't see his inability to put himself into someone else's shoes and understanding people can have a different opinion without it making him the bad guy).

So, I suppose what I am wondering is: am I the asshole for having said what I said in a very polite way? I've been crying my eyes out for over an hour now. Just hearing my dad say I'm a disappointment so unapologetically really fucking hurts. ######

Response: NTA. Wow, I am so sorry you had to go through that. Your mother is clearly unhappy in this marriage, and you’re incredibly strong for resisting your father’s attempts to emotionally manipulate his children in an attempt to force her to stay. ######


Prompt: I (25f) have recently gotten engaged to my girlfriend (24f) and both of us are very excited. We have been dating since college and have a house and have adopted a child together. We are both very excited to get married and are planning on doing so as soon a Coronavirus is over. Recently I got some messages on Facebook from my family. Now, I’m not really that close with my family as when they found out that I was a lesbian they kicked me out and pretty much disowned me. They heard that I had gotten engaged from a family friend who I am still close with and messaged me asking why I hadn’t told them about my engagement, who was the lucky man and when was the wedding. I haven’t spoken to them for 6 years so I am very shocked that they reached out to me. I messaged them back saying that I’m engaged to a woman and that they could come as long as they didn’t make a fuss about me marrying a woman. They agreed and at the time I thought the discussion was over.   Yesterday my fiancé came crying to me and showed me the messages that she’d gotten. My family had found her on the internet and had sent her hateful messages saying that she’s a whore and she’s going to hell for marrying a woman. Naturally I was furious and immediately messaged them to tell them that they had no right to treat her in that way and that they should get their heads out of their asses and understand that I have every right to marry who I want to. The responses that I got to this were horrible and both me and my fiancé are very upset. I responded to them saying that they’re banned from the wedding until they start treating my fiancé with some respect. I got messages of my aunts and cousins saying that I’m being to harsh here and that I just need to suck it up. All my friends are in agreement with my cousins. AITA here? ######

Response:
 NTA. Wow there's a lot here. Firstly, congrats on your engagement! Your fiance sounds like a lovely, lucky woman. Secondly, screw your family. They don't get to say awful things to you and the woman you love all the while expecting to party on your dime.

Don't invite them.

Your friends have never encountered such personal hate before, so they don't get a say. ######


Prompt:
My friend has had a crush on me for years now and knows that I do not reciprocate the feelings and nothing will ever happen between us.
I generally feel uneasy and uncomfortable with people saving my pictures on their phone as I find it really creepy.
A few months ago I found out he did that and even put my picture as his phone wallpaper and even whatsapp wallpaper. We got into a huge fight and he agreed to delete them off his phone and change the wallpaper. Now I found out he has my picture as a “home” wallpaper not the lock screen one. When I got mad about it he got defensive and said its just the lock screen so no one will see it. I know this seems really silly and stupid but from my pov we agreed on this topic awhile ago and its such a boundary issue.
Am i overreacting? Aita? ######

Response: NTA. WOW that is creepy. You're not overreacting at all. ######


Prompt:
I spend a lot of time either working from home or running my business from home so my wife and I decided I could use a spare room as my office. I turned it into a sort of library/office over the years and on top of all my bookcases and shelves I've placed models and figurines that I've made and or collected. [These are](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dz4xxb4WwAAavnL.jpg) examples of [some of the things](https://twitter.com/FinalFantasy/status/842760746463387648/photo/3) [that I have displayed](https://www.thewebernets.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/tech_seawater_03.jpg). None of my models of figurines are scantily clad women or dolls before you make that claim. Mostly planes and boats.

I still spend time with my family, I contribute to the household chores and I don't lock myself away in my office. My wife however said that all my models and such are childish and that she gets embarrassed when people come round to stay or visit. I pointed out that she's covered our bedroom in plushies and she said that's not the same. I was told to hide or get rid of the models and figurines, I refused so now she's refusing to talk to me.

We have 2 kids and they each have their own room, she also has a craft room where she does her dress making, sewing and cross-stitch things. ######

Response: Nta. Would she rather you spend Friday night at home painting models, or out doing body shots with the guys? ######


Prompt:
Hi all, this is a throwaway and I don’t really know how this works but I’ve been having an issue with my fiancé and her family.

Background: I am a part owner in a pretty upscale American restaurant in the United States. I have been engaged for a little over a year, the virus took a toll in our plans. I have been with my fiancé for a total of 4 years now. She does not have any kids but I have two daughters who live with their mother.

Situation: my fiancé’s sister called my fiancé to tell her that her 17 year old son (I’ll call Chris) was taking a girl on a date for the first time, and said they were gonna go to my restaurant.

The day came and I was working, they showed up and of course I said hello and talked to them and such. then I left them alone to enjoy their meal, I didn’t say anything to them until they were walking out. I just thanked Chris for coming and said it was nice seeing them.

An hour or so went by and I got a text from my fiancé calling me an asshole. I didn’t have time to text and I just told her We can talk when I get home. I got home and she told me she couldn’t believe I didn’t comp the bill for Chris. I said I didn’t know I was supposed to, and she called me a cheapass. She let me know that her sister and mother also thinks I’m an asshole.

She called me out for others I’ve comped meals for, including my ex wife (She’s still the mother of my daughters and we aren’t on bad terms, IMO not a big deal). I apologized and I promised I will next time they come in, but apparently the fact that I had to be told makes me an AH.

Was it really an AH move to not comp Chris’s food? ######

Response: NTA. Would it have been a nice thing to do? Yeah. Are you in any way obligated to do that? Not really. ######


Prompt:
So me and my fiancé are doing some work in our backyard, so for the past week or so I’ve had to take our dogs for walks through the neighborhood about 4 times a day, always walking past the same house right across the street from us.

The first few times, i noticed a dog barking when i walked by, but didn’t think much of it. But it happened every single time I walked by, so it started to catch my attention. Listening closer, I can tell that the dog is barking from the neighbors garage - the bark echoes and can clearly be identified as coming from the garage.

If this happened once, I wouldn’t think too much of it, but it’s every time I walk by from about 7am until the last time I take my dogs out around 9pm every night. I think they are keeping this dog in the garage all day most days.

I live in a very warm area approaching summer, and the high temperatures are starting to approach/exceed 90F daily here. I don’t feel like it’s safe to keep a dog in a closed up garage all day in the middle of the summer, but i also don’t want to approach my neighbors myself. The type of people who leave a dog sitting in hot garage all day probably wouldn’t listen to me or would get hostile with me, and then if i did end up calling someone on them they’d know it’s me, which I’d prefer they don’t.

So, WIBTA if I call animal control to check this out? ######

Response: NTA. Worst case scenario, they find the dog is fine. Otherwise, you save a dog. Ring it in. ######


Prompt:
this happened last year but it got brought up again recently and opinions are split. more like 'are we the asshole'

context: i grew up in a country where usage of the word 'fag' is very lenient. i also grew up in a family of smokers. this is important because where i live, 'fag' is common slang for a ciggie. i didn't know 'fag' has offensive connotations until i was 11 when someone called me a 'fag' and i asked my mum why they were calling me a ciggie and she explained. all my LGBT friends use it and have no problem with the word when used in the context of a cig.

onto the story: there was this exchange student (Beth) from America who was at our school and she gravitated towards my friend group. one day at lunch a few of my friends had gone for a smoke break and Beth asked where they had gone and i replied 'oh they've gone for a quick fag, they'll be back soon, don't worry'. Beth seemed fine the rest of the day but something was off. the next day she told the group she was leaving because 'certain members are homophobic'. my friends and I knew what she was on about and explained how we meant the word and that we meant no harm. she said fine but didn't want to stay because of the negative connotations so she left the group but we still spoke sometimes in the group chat we had.

a few weeks later she messaged saying she was upset that none of us had apologised to her. we were confused. this is going to sound weird but she didn't seem like she wanted an apology more she just wanted to move on. no one said anything (only I and one other person had 'read' the message) and she got annoyed and left the chat. everyone felt shitty but no one knew what to do so we left it. Beth went back home a few months later and we never heard from her again.

so, AITA?? ######

Response: NTA. Words have different meanings sometimes to different cultures. Not your place to impose your own interpretation based on your culture when in someone else's. ######


Prompt:
Am I about to rant over a muffin? Yes! I live in a pretty big household. I have 6 other siblings. So when my sisters made muffins last night, I’d already eaten so I decided I wanted one for the morning. But I knew my siblings would’ve eaten them all by the time I woke up and didn’t feel like risking it. So I hid one with my brothers baby food. Sure enough waking up this morning I was correct, the muffins were all gone but the one I hid was still there. I ate it, and that was that. Like an hour later my step dad came in and asked “do you know who hid a muffin?” And I said it was me, I didn’t see it as that big of a deal. Well, he pulls up a video on his phone of him LICKING THE FUCKING MUFFIN and putting it back, I was disgusted. I then heard him and my mom talking about how that’s what I get for hiding food, which is actually very hypocritical because they have entire cabinet of their own hidden food that we aren’t allowed to touch. It’s not like I took someone’s muffin by hiding it, all my siblings were able to have 2, I just wanted one. Now I’m pissed at my step dad and he doesn’t understand why.

TDLR; I hid a muffin, my stepdad licked it and put it back, and showed me a video of him licking it after I ate it. Now I’m pissed

Side note: I realize the post is stupid, I know it’s  stupid situation. But personally, I don’t enjoy eating food that has been touched, licked, or spit on by others. So why not rant about it 😂 ######

Response: NTA. Why????? Why would he lick a muffin and put it back???? Why would he RECORD IT???? What was there that he could possibly gain, just fucking eat it and get it over with good god ######


Prompt:
Obviously I know what my diagnoses are now, but I just wanted some other verdicts on this. And for reference, I am 18f.

When I was four years old, I was diagnosed with mosaic Turner Syndrome (TS). I won't get too into this, but basically I knew that I was 'different' because of all the medications I had to take and doctors I had to see. I always asked my parents why I had to do all this extra stuff while my younger siblings didn't, but they always didn't answer me. But when I was 12 years old, my mom sat me down and told me that I had turner syndrome, and what it exactly was, and that explained so much about me.

I had been seeing a psychologist for many years, and one day when I was 13, I was taken in to do this all-day test thing that I didn't know why I was doing it. I do remember that my mom and my psychologist made me go out of the room while they discussed the results. Last night, I was filling out health stuff for college, and as my mom was looking it over, she added non-verbal learning disorder (NVLD) to the list of various health concerns I had. Obviously, that was news to me, and she didn't really say much about it, just gave me my laptop back. After researching stuff, NVLD does explain some aspects of my personality as well as some physical stuff.

I'm just angry that my mom hid all this stuff from me, and I'm wondering if my anger is even justified at all. I haven't lashed out or anything, just silently fuming. I did try asking once why I was kept in the dark for all this time, and they just said that I was too young and wouldn't have understood then. However, many teachers and adults have described me as perceptive and intelligent for my age, and I have met various TS girls who had been told about and understood the condition at a very young age.

So was my mom in the wrong? Or is my anger unjustified? ######

Response: NTA. Why would your mom hide your diagnoses from you? Even as a minor, you deserve to know what exactly is going on with your body, because it’s your own body. ######


Prompt:
My(28f) sister(20f) arrived in Canada for her first degree last September with the help of my uncle who gave her about $5500 to take care of her rent and other expenses at least for the first semester. The plan was for her to also get a part time job to support herself because her program consisted of only 4 classes a week ie one class for about 2/3 hours a day. This gives her more than enough time to work and study as well.
Once she arrived here, I tried to help by securing a cheap room near her campus, taking her to value village (It’s like Goodwill) for fall and winter clothes, driving her to grocery shops and fast food places to drop her resume and others. I should add I live in a different town almost 2 hours away from her but I did my best to get her situated.
Unfortunately I have been paying her rent for the 6 out of 8 months she’s been here. This is because she spent all her money on shopping sprees, taking Uber rides instead of the bus to school, ordering food and pizza all the time instead of cooking. My husband and i have adviced her constantly on doing better on several occasions.
She finally got a part time job a month ago and instead of paying off her rent, got an iPhone 10. She’s also on probation at school and has the potential of being withdrawn from the school.

Now my mum won’t stop crying and begging me to pay for my sister’s rent and food and I refuse to do so. I offered to have her stay with us but I’m in a “village” so that’s out of the question. We can’t tell my uncle because he expected her to be able to manage what he gave her and tbh things aren’t as good as they used to be because of the virus. I should add I have a young baby and I haven’t worked in a year. My husband has put his foot down this time and won’t help because of my sister’s lifestyle/decisions so far.

So AITA because I wouldn’t bail out my sister? ######

Response: NTA. Why would your mom expect you to pay her bills? If she wants to bail her out, that’s on her, but you should never be held responsible for her. ######


Prompt:
So, basically, for the past month, I've been planning a cross country move back to my college town. I had some plans to stay with friends, and get there on July first so I can move in.

When I told my mom I was moving out, she was somewhat upset with me with how sudden it was, and was upset I didn't give her enough time to make plans for her to take time off work so she could come with me.

So I decided to post pone my move in date to a later date - about a week off. But this also means not staying with some of my friends along the way, and means me sitting around for another week extra while I wait.

I'm considering telling her tomorrow that it might be better if I go earlier and by myself so I can stick to my original plan. I know this is probably going to upset her and she won't like it....but would I really be the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Why would she assume she would be going? It's very odd. ######


Prompt:
We're 28. We're dual citizens of the US and the place we currently live. We both have cushy jobs with a multi-national, but back home I used to drive big rigs and busses, my side job here is a home-call mechanic. Her side job is as a fixed wing medivac pilot.

She might fly planes well, but she can't drive cars. She failed her driving test in the US numerous times before finally getting it. She's had her US license for about a year. Here she had her international permit suspended for a wreck where she was determined to be at fault, then she went through with getting locally licensed - she got suspended once on her probationary license for criminal excedd speed + following too closely. She got it back but then got revoked for another at-fault wreck while unaccompanied as a probationary driver. She has to go back to driving school to try again for a student license (then probationary, then full).

It's monsoon here. We were on a rural 6 lane highway with a 130kph limit. It was pouring rain with next to no visibility and incredibly windy. As your supposed to do, I pulled over to the far right lane. I was matching the speed of the cars distantly infront of me doing about 40kph. We were being passed by cars going the speed limit in the left lanes, and she was freaking out saying we need to go the speed limit. I told her twice that we're okay where we are, the visibility isn't good enough and obviously other people agree since the entire rightmost lane was doing 40kph.

She kept saying we need to speed up. I told her that her license is revoked for a reason, I'm driving, and I'm obeying the law.

She wasn't really happy with me saying that. ######

Response: NTA. why tf she's so worried about driving faster? Are you guys late? Or does she like living stupidly dangerous? ######


Prompt:
My gf’s birthday was today and she wanted to do a social distance get together with our friends (With our city having a really low amount of COVID cases they relaxed a lot of restrictions). Our mutual friends consist of us, and two other woman: and we all met in high school. Our one friend, let’s call her M, recently got out of a relationship with someone really toxic, and decided to start dating again. She asked us if she could bring her new boyfriend along to but she didn’t want to tell us who he was so she could surprise us. The only clue we got was that we went to school with him.

Lo and behold we get together in our backyard and in comes my childhood bully with my friend M. While I appreciate that she wanted to surprise us, I think she was unaware who she was bringing along. Tbh I don’t think he even recognized me, but I instantly recognized him. Things got really awkward when he started bragging about his life, etc etc. Suddenly it felt like the purpose of the party was lost. Then he just excused himself to go inside the house, even though we were supposed to be just outside.

I stopped him at the door and told him to leave my property, and I also said he wasn’t welcome here. He was shocked and very defensive saying “he just had to wizz and take a chill pill”. I promptly kicked him off my property, and my friend went with him. I apologized to my gf, and she understood why. However my friend is super angry with my and my other friend is taking her side. ######

Response: NTA. Why should you have to be around someone who clearly caused you some trauma, honestly those friends should try to understand your perspective on this. Though to play devil's advocate for a moment, did he change? Also did the friend who's dating him know about how he used to bully you? ######


Prompt:
Today I had someone confront me about my home made face mask. I made a standard face mask with 2 layers of cotton fabric. To make it look cute I added some lace to the front of it. It doesn't affect the functionality of it as far as I know.

I was told that face masks are safety and not for vanity. I was told it's wrong to turn a face mask into a fashion statement and I should reconsider why I'm wearing a face mask.  I'm actually embarrassed and I'm considering taking my face mask apart and removing the lace. I made it the way I did because I have made so many of them and I get so bored from how repetitive it is. Adding lace was a way to challenge myself. Maybe I'm selfish for keeping the fanciest one I have made so far.

I already get enough grief from non mask wearing folks. ######

Response: NTA. Why must practical things look utilitarian? We might as well make masks look good, we’ll be wearing them for a while. ######


Prompt:
So my girlfriend and I can’t see each other in person so we’ve been doing video chats during dinner and stuff like that. We have a words with friends game going and also she’ll sometimes play me at chess online. The thing is with chess is she’s one of those chess nuts who spends a ton of time practicing and reading moves and stuff. I mean it’s good for her and what she enjoys sure. But it’s not terribly fun for me, because I only know the rules, never practiced, don’t know what a queens gambit is or any of the other ridiculous move sets chess wizzes memorize. I lose completely and totally every time. She doesn’t go easy on me, so I could just press random buttons and do about as well as I do now.

Today I declined her invite to a game and texted her that I’d rather not play chess anymore. She immediately called me a sore loser and asked if I was just scared I’m going to lose. I responded that I’m not scared, I know I’m going to lose and it’s not fun.

She said “aw is the little baby going to cry”. I just didn’t respond to that and didn’t talk to her until dinner. When I called she was mad that I never responded to her. I said she was being rude and it was better that I not respond than she see what my response would have been.

She got mad again and said she’s not the one that declined “bonding time” because I’m afraid of losing. I again said I’m not afraid, but playing a game where moving randomly and trying to win yields the same result isn’t fun. She said it’s because I’m bad that happens, and I just hung up.

She blew up my phone with texts saying that it was rude to hang up in the middle of a conversation. But the way she’s acting is like if I arm wrestled her and when I won I ripped my shirt off and poured Gatorade all over myself. Or if I played basketball with her and then posted her up and dunked every possession.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Why is she your girlfriend if she belittles you this much? She can't be enjoying your chess games for any reason other than that she's kicking your ass. I guess she really likes making it clear how much better than you she is, and when deprived of that opportunity she throws a fit. ######


Prompt:
I (24M) still live at home, I'm aiming to move out within the next two years.

My sister (18F)  usually lives with my dad but has been spending more time with us, shes been with her boyfriend for 3 years, I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2.

My mother is obsessed with the idea of having a grandchild, she wont stop talking about it with me and my girlfriend but we dont want children.

So, she turned the "joke"  onto my sister.

She brings it up every chance she can.

We were eating dinner last night when my mother once again said "so when are you giving me a grandson *sisters name*?"

This wouldn't be a problem if she wasnt sending my sisters childrens names and if she was joking, she tries to pass it off as a joke but we can tell shes being serious.

My sister genuinely feels pressured, she doesnt have a backbone though so wont complain.

I snapped at my mother and told her to back tf off, she isnt getting a grandchild from either of us anytime soon and maybe she should focus on parenting her son (10) instead of this BS.

She didnt react but later on we heard her crying about it to our dad.

My father texted me and my sister telling us if we cant take a joke and will be disrespectful we both know where the door is and can leave at anytime, and that we are assholes for being oversesnsitve and that I could've let my sister deal with it (she really doesnt like arguments)

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Why is it that some parents feel it’s okay to bully their children into reproducing?

Keep your foot down on this one OP. ######


Prompt:
My roomate and I aren't the most well off people but I like to save a bit of cash and buy the good stuff. Butter instead of margerine, fresh instead of packaged. It's like the ONE thing I splurge on to try and be healthy.

I asked if it was cool to have our own shelves in the fridge since we often buy similar things and it's easy to forget who's is who's. Also because he used this as a frequent excuse as to why he ate my things. (He will EVENTUALLY replace it but it's always the unhealthy cheap version, not what I actually bought. He agreed.

He keeps putting his stuff on my shelf, and then eating my food saying he "forgot" and that he thought it was his. I reminded him multiple times mentioning "hey man, I'm not rich, I can't feed us both :p " he laughs and agrees.

So the other day a bunch of my stuff was missing again and a bunch of his stuff was on my shelf (probably a prepped setup for the "oh I mistaken the items since it's all mixed!" Excuse) .

Instead of bringing it up I just ate the things he put on my shelf. And he got really upset saying he can't afford that.

I feel bad now, but at the time it felt justified. To be clear I'm not against sharing my stuff, but to be *asked* would be nice. Plus I like my own space to be able to see what I still have / what I need etc. I don't know if I'm overreacting because it's JUST a shelf, but I'm a broke student and it seems like a good way to keep track of my stuff.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Why is it fine for him to eat your food, but the second the shoes on the other foot he packs a sad? This will hopefully teach him some boundaries! ######