Prompt:
 My husband (37m) and I (37f) have been together 21 years married 18. I have a low capacity stomach. I am the type who orders a single burger, no fries and drink, and be full. It's been a running joke in our marriage that I eat like the birds.

Anyway, he is out of work (chef) and we decided it would be best for him to extend his quarantine time due to him being high risk. Since then he has become a huge "food pusher." He asks if I'm hungry and I ask for 1 egg and he brings me 4. Or he insists on making my plate and gives me a large man sized portion.

What's worse -for me- is when i balk at the amount he laughs at me and says he "has faith I can finish it." When I don't he gets upset at me for wasting food. I feel like I'm being set up.

I have tried talking to him. I have tried being patient and telling myself he is overcompensating since he is out of work. But I am have gained 10lbs and am constantly nauseous from overeating. Yesterday I was finally fed up and forcefully asked "Why do you keep doing this?" He shut down and went for a walk. It's been strained cordiality ever since. ######

Response:
 NTA. My bf is a chef too and our appetites have dropped significantly since we haven't been working out due to quarantine. He still goes to work at a different job and sometimes I pack him a lunch for his break. I've been packing a seemingly "normal" amount of food for him like a sandwich, an apple, and some other snacks like chocolate or cheeses but he's only been finishing half of his lunch since his appetite has plummeted. I’m not offended that he doesn’t finish it, just means there’s leftovers for tomorrow!

Defs sounds like your hubby is bored and is trying to cook for you like a customer. Just calmly tell him that your appetite is just the way it is and there isn't much you can do about it.

On another note though, do you guys work out a lot? For us, exercise is a surefire way to get us to eat more than we normally would.

EDIT: Thank you for all the upvotes! This is my first reddit comment with more than 2 upvotes. Really made my day. ######


Prompt: Hey everyone, I’m a 22 yo girl living in Florida with my parents. I’m the oldest of 3. My parents are very strict asian parents. Lately, my mental health has been slipping from the current events. I find happiness with taking long drives, walking around parks, and being outside in nature. I do so with safety precautions (mask and such). My parents have always made it a rule to announce when and where we are going when we leave the house. Lately, they have been prohibiting me from trying to leave the house. I practically have to fight, scream, and shout to go to a park or drive myself to the grocery store and buy fruits. If I say that I am going anyway, they yell at me, call me names like slut, stupid, bitch. I told them that I wanted to find a job so I can pay my bills and save enough to move out. I’ve sort of rebelled by coming back home in the early mornings for the past few days. They threaten to kick me out for not doing what they want. I’m getting so tired of this. I don’t have a job right now(laid off from covid), but I’m trying to look for one just so I can save enough to move out. My mental health is just plummeting. I have been thinking of joining the army in a few months. They also told me not to go. AITA for all of this? ######

Response: NTA. My best friend is a vietnamese girl living in europe and she has similar problems with her parents so I know a bit about how hard it can be to become independent in circumstances like that. My friend seems to have the feeling she owes her parents something and I guess you maybe have similar feelings about that, too? If that's the case please keep in mind: a child NEVER owes their parents ANYTHING for just being parents. That's not how it works. And as a grown up you have every right to live your life as you want, not as your parents want. You will never be the asshole for that, no matter how much your parents try to convince you that you are. ######


Prompt:
A couple days ago my wife mentioned that our daughter wanting her ears pierced for her upcoming 7th birthday.

I was caught by surprised with this conversation as my daughter had gotten her ears pierced just the year before. My wife proceeded to clarify that our daughter wanted 3 piercings in each earlobe like herself. What surprised me even more that my wife mentioned that she had already told our daughter she would take her to get them done for her birthday.

I explained to my wife that I did not think it was a good idea for our daughter to have that many piercings so young. My wife disagreed and said she doesn't understand how it is different to getting the first holes which I was o.k with. She said that if I did not want our daughter to get them done then I would have to be the one to tell her no given she doesn't want to rescind on her gift.

I was not pleased with the move my wife pulled and don't see why I have to be the bad guy in all of this by being the one to tell our daughter she can't get her ears pierced when in my opinion it shouldn't have been agreed in the first place. AITA here for saying no or is my reaction warranted? ######

Response: NTA. Multiple lobe piercings are really likely to get winky on a child that young. Get her a few cool ear cuffs and tell her she can triple pierce at 13. ######


Prompt:
This morning my mom (54F) asked me (24M) for $15k randomly.  She has found that if she opens a new bank account and it has that amount for 3 months in it she will get $500 from the bank. I was pretty taken aback by this so I asked if I could think about it. She responds with going “Woooow, really?” and has been guilt tripping me for the past hour about it.

The thing is I live at home and do have the money and my expenses aren’t too bad with my salary so it wouldn’t cause me any problems other than the main reason for her getting a bank account: her and my dad (55M) are getting a divorce. If he were to find out about this money I know he would try to claim it as joint assets and I would end up losing it. My mom says he wouldn’t do that but she has been so naive about this whole divorce. She believes he is going to be all nice about everything and leave her the house and all the money in the joint bank account but ever since she told him she wanted a divorce he has been systematically destroying things in the house “by accident”.  Hell, he still hasn’t moved out after 10 months and refuses to chip in for house expenses so I have been paying most of it.

Another thing is she has the same amount of funds in her savings so she could do it herself no problem. She keeps saying I “failed the test” and I don’t trust her. I would give her the money if she was already divorced from my dad because I don’t trust him at all. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Move out ASAP. ######


Prompt:
Background: My boyfriend recently passed away unexpectedly. Today was my best day since I found out, but it’s still a struggle getting out of bed.

His funeral services are tomorrow, and I would love to see him one last time, but there’s an issue. My boyfriend is trans, and his family constantly deadnames/misgenders him, even with all of this going on (and them being very aware of his being on Testosterone, and also planning to get top surgery.) I fully expect them to bury him in female clothing, and that truly pains me to see.

I feel as if they aren’t mourning who he REALLY was, and as I just said a moment ago, that hurts a lot. I am planning holding our own services with some of our best friends, where we truly mourn who he really was.

So, WIBTA if I didn’t go? ######

Response: NTA. Mourning is deeply personal and your responsibility is to yourself and your personal memory of him. However that manifests is fine. ######


Prompt:
So I’m from another country and lived and worked in to US for a few years. My mom sends me food packages every month with food, snacks, candy etc from home. This is for fun and she always sends way to much, but that’s just my mom 😁.

So I usually share with either friends, colleagues, neighbors or other people  that come over.

I started a new job a couple of months ago and this was the first time I brought something here (it was a type of cookie). I explained to the people there in the moment why I brought it and put in in the break area for everyone to grab when/if they wanted.

Another colleague started later that morning and a while after she came in she say the food I brought and asked who brought it. I said it was me and started to explain why when she interrupted me and asked if I took her allergy (gluten allergy) into account. I said sorry no and explained why I brought this. She said I was extremely rude for not thinking of everyone. And that it was better to not bring anything if not everyone could enjoy it. She said I was very selfish and don’t think about others. I gave a half-assed apology and told myself not to bring anything again.

Am I the A-hole for bringing the food, not thinking about dietary restrictions?

If I would have bought something (for example for my birthday) I would definitely take all dietary restrictions into account, but this was just something I had left over ######

Response: NTA. Most people with dietary restrictions don’t expect everything to be catered to them. I had a friend in middle school with severe nut allergies who always brought her own cake and food to parties to avoid any accidents ######


Prompt:
This week restrictions lifted in my area for the virus and my sister’s boyfriend visited my family for the first time for dinner. He knew who I was, but apparently my sister never mentioned that I’m disabled. When I meet new people, I’m fine with certain questions. I pretty much expect it. But the first thing that exited his mouth as he saw me was “Shit, what happened to you?” And phrased like that it’s just a bit disrespectful. Oh well, some people have weird reactions and I figured he was just surprised.

After that, the pre-dinner conversation goes smoothly. He’s respectful and polite to my parents. Then dinner comes out. I use a special grip for utensils because my grip strength is pretty weak. Sister’s bf immediately questions it, asking “Can you not do anything normally?” Which, again, is just not a particularly respectful way to ask. I respond by saying that I still managed to graduate high school and have a boyfriend of my own. Sister’s boyfriend nodded and went back to dinner. Then everything was fine until dessert. My mom and sister went back to get things from the kitchen, my dad went to use the bathroom, and sister’s boyfriend looked at me and asked if I “can still fuck”. At that point I was pretty fed up. I’m fine with questions but there’s a time and a place, and a level of appropriateness and respect that’s good to maintain imo. And at that point I was incredibly annoyed so I left the table and went to my room, staying there until he left.

Afterwards, I explained what happened to my sister but she told me I ruined the night by abandoning them and claimed that he wouldn’t ever say anything like that. She’s now refusing to speak to me, saying I completely ruined his first impression. But honestly I think he ruined it by himself. Still, I understand why just up and leaving could be considered inconsiderate. ######

Response:
 NTA. Most definitely NTA. He crossed a line.

You didn’t make a scene or even bring his assholery to light in front of the whole family.

I’m sorry you had to deal with that. ######


Prompt: I'm 16 and my mom and I don't have the greatest relationship, but it's not exactly bad. We are just very on and off. However, recently we've been trying to work more as a team and be more open with each other. Well, it's currently Thursday and I had an online therapy session on Tuesday. My therapist and I were having a conversation about sex so that she can understand if I exhibit sexually deviant behavior ( I don't lol). She asked me if I had been sexually active. I was honest and said yes ( An important thing to note: I have a boyfriend and our relationship is incredibly strong. We've been dating for just under a year and we talk to each other about everything. So neither of us ever do anything we're not comfortable with). Being 16, I can legally decide to not have a parent/ guardian present at my session. I chose not to have my mom there, as it was an incredibly private session. Right about the time the therapist had asked the question, my mom came into my room to borrow a shirt and she heard all of it. After my session, I went to talk to her and she was a mixture of shocked, angry, and idk what else. She kept saying that I was too young and shouldn't be doing it. I then started to get frustrated because I feel that it's MY relationship and I can do whatever I'm comfortable with. I kind of started to feel bad for not telling her, but she also shouldn't have walked in on MY therapy session. I'm not particularly mad at her, but I'm frustrated that she's getting mad at me over my private information. So, lay it on me Reddit. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Mom is TA for not knocking, and then for getting mad at you for something that she wasn't supposed to hear in the first place. She isnt that big of an AH - I get it, its a big event in someone's life and mom is probably just concerned for your safety and wants more transparency from you. It's reasonable, but you don't owe it to her, especially if your relationship with her isn't like that otherwise. Talking about sex with parents can be overwhelmingly embarrassing, so your hesitance to do so is justified. ######


Prompt:
For starters, I just wanna say that I love my MIL and we get along most of the time, but she’s really been getting under my skin lately.

My husband is an only child and his mom chose to take on a very traditional role as a mother. She didn’t work when he was little, did all the cooking, cleaning, etc., which is completely fine if that’s what she wanted to do. However, since I am now pregnant I have had to deal with increasing amounts of judgments and micro-aggressions from her.

Some examples:
1. Whenever she comes to visit she immediately starts cleaning and doing my husband’s laundry, all while questioning why the house isn’t better kept
2. She’s always talking about how people criticized her for not making my husband do any chores and how he turned out great. I love my husband and he’s perfectly capable of doing chores but it’s pretty clear that the lesson he learned is that it’s not his responsibility to help around the house, and only does chores if I specifically ask him too.
3. She is constantly judging my decision to continue working after becoming a mother, making comments such as “why would you have a child if you’re just going to go to work all day and send them to daycare?” I know she wants to come stay with us for a while after the baby comes and I’m grateful for the help but I almost don’t want her to because I don’t know if I’ll emotionally be able to handle the parenting criticism I think will come my way.

Today, she made a comment about how women are less successful in team based sports and esports because women are naturally more caddy and emotional. I was already in a bad mood for the aforementioned reasons and responded by telling her that her comments were extremely sexist. She didn’t really say much back and moved on to a new topic but I could tell I hurt her feelings. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Might need to head on to r/JUSTNOMIL while you're at it. You need to create firm boundaries. Do not allow her to come stay with you if you don't want her, stop letting her do your husband's laundry, and call out her insults, and then exit the conversation. ######


Prompt:
I'm a middle school teacher. Once a week there's a meeting with the principal, vice principal, special ed teacher, guidance counselor and the 4 subject matter teachers. One of the things we talk about is particular kids and how they are doing. A few years ago we had a kid who had a spectacularly horrible home life (the school was in an upper middle class area so not that many troubled homes), and she was of course failing.  We spent months trying different things to help her. After about 3/4 through the year, the principal in  our meeting said we need to do more. I said school is not her main priority or her biggest problem and helping her more than we already are is above our pay grade. We need help. Can you provide some help  for us and for the kid?  No one directly answered me but the discussion continued.

About a month later, I was in the principal's office and she was criticizing me for something, I forget what. Then she brought up that meeting and said by me saying it was above our pay grade it was obvious that I didn't want to put in the effort to help the kid, I didn't care about the kid or my job, and that it was disrespectful to her and the vice principal to say basically they needed to handle it, not the teachers. I was really surprised and I do not think I was the AH. I actually said that because everything the teachers were doing didn't help and I actually cared what happened to the kid and wanted to get her some kind of help. I'm not a fucking psychiatrist or social worker so I legit couldn't help her.

I was going to make a throwaway but fuck it. So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Middle School is a war zone, even in the “nicest” of neighborhoods. It’s not wrong to ask for additional help when you feel your resources are exhausted or the other students are suffering as a result of you spreading yourself too thin for one person.

Perhaps the way you phrased your response came across as flippant or unconcerned to administration. 🤷🏼♀ “Above my pay grade” no longer means to people what it was originally intended to express. ######


Prompt:
So my niece (15f, we’ll call her oliva) and I (15f) are really close in age, she’s a month older then I am. My parents had me when they were both 41, and by then my sister was 20 and already had her own kid. Because of our ages, we’ve never really had the typical aunt/niece relationship. We’re more like cousins, but she calls me auntie as a joke.

So I just got a inhaler for some breathing problems I have related to allergies. We were chilling in my room watching tv and she asked to see my inhaler. So I give it to her and for no reason at all, she puts it in her mouth and starts fucking rapidly pressing it over and over again. So I freak out, and wrestle it from her and start yelling at her because man I don’t know if you can overdose on that shit.

And I also only got so many uses in one can and she just used up about 20. So I’m yelling at her asking wtf she just did that for and she just gets up and storms out. I kinda just sat there for a moment before I walked out to find her telling her mom (my sister) on me. My sister got really pissed at me, because ‘she was just curious’.

She said that I had to apologize to oliva, but I laughed at her and said no way. The whole time oliva is just kinda standing there look sheepish. I say no, and she just takes oliva and storms out. My parents are on my side but they said that yelling at her was kinda a asshole move because I really don’t have the right. But she just put her mouth on my medical equipment and used it up.

Was yelling at her really a asshole move? AITA? And does anyone have a idea as to why the hell she thought it was ok to just do that?? ######

Response: NTA. Messing with someone's medication is stupid and dangerous. What if you didn't know she used it 20 times? What if you really needed one of those 20 times? ######


Prompt:
So the last month and a half I've been lead to believe I had type 2 diabetes from my doctor and the clinic I go to. At first this confused me as I'm only in my twenties and active on account of my job. Also I only went because I needed to have a work related injury looked at and was confused when they told me I needed to have a blood test done. Which I'm not sure was needed since it was a wrist injury and nothing else seemed wrong.

Anyway they said I did have type 2 and they would begin me on pills and other things I need immediately. Never did I question them as I thought they had my well-being in mind. But weeks after starting the medication I didn't feel good and I knew it was medication they had me on.

So I scheduled an appointment with my doctor and told them I didn't feel well ever since starting my new medication. Instead of lowering my dosage they raised it and told me I may need to start on insulin shots if I didn't get better. This confused me and I decided instead of going to my regular clinic I would dip into my savings and go to a different one. Low and behold they told me I didn't have type 2 or anything wrong besides my wrist.

Learning this I confronted my doctor and was simply told that they made a simple mistake and luckily nothing went wrong. So I reported my doctor and my local clinic. However I found out later that alot of people who rely on said clinic can't afford to go anyhwere else. So now I'm wondering if I was wrong to report the doctor and clinic in the middle of a pandemic and causing people to lose their only source of medical care?

So AITA for reporting my doctor and clinic and basically causing people to lose their medical care? ######

Response: NTA. Medical malpractice is not something that should be taken lightly. You’re absolutely right in your choice. I agree with comment above, your complaint is unlikely to affect those who attend the clinic so don’t let that affect you. ######


Prompt:
I (F22) and my boyfriend (M26) have been dating for a year and a half now. We quarantined together and are now in the process of moving in together.

This week our city loosened up social distancing guidelines, so my boyfriend wanted to go play a game of pickup soccer with about five of his friends. They said they were all bringing their girlfriends so my bf asked me to come and I said sure.

Now the thing is that I'm actually pretty good at soccer. My first boyfriend ever was actually in a very good European club's academy, and then I dated an MLS player for three years. Obviously they weren't just straight teaching me how to play, but I helped them practice and train and I picked up a lot from them. I also played high school soccer and then club soccer in college.

When we got to the park my boyfriend said we should play boys against girls so we did.

We actually ended up tying. However my boyfriend played really really badly. At one point he took a penalty that I saved, I blocked several of his shots, intercepted many of his passes, tackled him a bunch of times and took the ball from him, and I even nutmegged him once.

I want to clarify that I really wasn't trying to target my bf, I was just playing and everything happened. I didn't go easy on him but I didn't try to humiliate him either.

It was a fun game and I thought everything was fine until we got home. My bf went off on me about how humiliating the whole thing was for him, and how I had no right to play like that against him. He said I was clearly not considering his feelings, and he's been giving me the silent treatment since then. I think I was just playing a game. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Maybe your boyfriend should get good at soccer if he doesn’t want to be humiliated. If he’s this insecure about his soccer performance that he’d throw this type of tantrum then maybe you should take another look at him as far as a relationship goes. ######


Prompt:
My parents are divorced and in the last 5 years he's had 5 girlfriends. Not all at the same time haha, one after the other.

He's definitely got a physical type, like they're all short, petite, white, have long dark colored hair, soft spoken, dress very feminine but modest, thirty-something, etc. Like freakily similar, if you got them all in a group people would probably think they're related.

I have confused them for each other, and I'm not doing it to be petty, I swear. It's always been an honest mistake.

It's been hard to not, when he dates so much, doesn't even take a break between relationships, introduces them all to me but never stays with anyone long enough for me to really connect with them, etc.

My mom has the bigger share of custody, so I don't actually spend a lot of time at my dad's anyway. Which makes it hard for me to get to know any of his dates.

I don't have any dislike towards the ladies he's dated, honestly I'm just frustrated with him because it seems like he's not really ready to have a relationship and that's why all his relationships fail after less than a year.

But a couple times, I've said stuff like "can we all go back to (city) as a vacation" and my dad will get mad at me like "Girlfriend has never been to (city)" ... Because I'd accidentally misremembered going with one of his exes.

Or when I was telling a story to some family friends about traveling, and I said "And we were with my dad's ex Jen" and my dad got upset and corrected me.

He's mostly been mad when I say something in front of the lady he's currently dating, confusing them with an ex. And I honestly feel bad when that happens, but it's always been an honest mistake, and I don't think they believe me.

AITA for this? ######

Response: NTA. Maybe you could ask them to wear name tags? ######


Prompt:
I (22 F) Went on a coffee date with this guy from tinder after talking for about a week. On the app it said that he was also 21.

When I got to the coffee place he looked kinda like his pictures but a little younger making me question his age. So, I decided to ask him if he wanted to get a drink later. He started acting kinda weird and looked nervous before suggesting dinner instead. This was odd to me bc he had previously said that he enjoyed drinking.

During the date he also said he worked somewhere else then he had told me via text making the whole interaction seem "off". At the end of the date I asked him to drive me home and when we were in front of my apartment I brought up the inconsistencies between what he texted me vs what he said and asked to see his ID. He started crying and apologizing and showed me his ID. He was 18. I felt really bad for making him cry esp bc I didn't plan on going on a second date.

I told my friend about it and she said I should have let it go and there was no need to embarrass the guy. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Maybe that guy will think twice before lying to someone again. ######


Prompt:
   I’m 16 years old and very open with my parents about sex. My mom often likes to have boyfriends and my dad loves it. I’m great with that. My mom invites a dude over, I go to stay at my boyfriends house.
   I’m very uncomfortable around adult men for various reasons. Even my mothers collection of guys make uncomfortable comments about me sometimes. It makes me feel sick inside.
   Recently she brought up having a live in boyfriend someday. I told her I’m 100% not ok with having another adult man in the house. I figured it was a decent request telling her to put it off for two years until I go to college. I don’t want to constantly be uncomfortable in my own house. I’d feel I’d have to dress covered up, lock my own door at night, and basically hide away constantly to protect myself.
  She says I have no rights to call the shots as a minor. She resents me at the moment, and thinks I’m being completely unreasonable. I can understand her point of view but I can’t help but feel I have the right to comfort. I’m honestly so scared at the idea but I feel really guilty for hindering this. ######

Response: NTA. Maybe speak with your father about this as well. See if he can talk to your mom for you. ######


Prompt: My girlfriend of almost 4 years and I live together and during coronavirus I have been getting unemployment because my work isn’t open, but hers just opened back up last week. She works about 20 minutes away from the house and always asks me to take her to work when we both have cars. She tells me it’s to spend time with each other but we live together and I don’t see the point in taking 40 minutes round trip to take her to work and pick her up. Today she was visibly mad about me not wanting to take her to work and I don’t understand why because we are always with each other. ######

Response: NTA. Maybe offer something else, like making a nice sit down dinner for her and eating together while talking for some quality time. Sounds like the wants some uninterrupted time together so maybe make sure to schedule some time free of distractions. ######


Prompt:
I(M18) bought a new-ish computer by myself after working my butt off for it, but since I had no desk in my room, I put it downstairs. My family (mom, dad, and brother 15) uses it like a family computer. Now that I have a desk, I want to keep it in my room so I can keep in touch with friends and play games.

I understand that they may need a computer for things like paying the bills and school work, but my dad has a laptop that he has used to do that stuff before. In fact, he was looking to buy a new computer before I bought mine, and stopped after I had expressed that I was saving up for one. My brother has an opportunity to borrow a cromebook for schoolwork from the school district. He has not taken the opportunity and instead uses my computer for it.

I just want to play with my friends and work on my writing in peace without having my family looking over my shoulder, but is it wrong to take it?

Any help would be appreciated, thanks! ######

Response: NTA. Maybe just give them a heads up that you’re going to be moving it into your room. But NTA ######


Prompt:
Seven years ago, my biological sperm donor cheated on my mother with a college aged girl that was like two years older than me. I cut him out of my life, went FULL no contact since he was a real bastard and I found it incredibly creepy that he was now "dating" someone that was basically my age. I haven't kept up with his life, I made it really clear to everyone in my family at the time, I want nothing to do with him and if they wanted me to still come to family things on my dad's side, that was my condition.

Everyone respected my boundaries, until recently.

Turns out, Sperm Donor got married to his 25 yr old GF, and had a kid. But surprise, surprise, their massive age gap relationship wasn't all roses and they got divorced pretty quickly later. Not my problem, but now ex-Wife is getting remarried and gave Sperm Donor full custody over their 5 yr old. Sperm Donor was a pretty shitty parent with us, so unsurprisingly, I doubt he's too keen to be a single dad at near 60.

Here's the problem. Gran and Auntie want me to "develop a relationship" with the five year old half sibling. It's still my "blood" apparently. I want nothing to do with his midlife crisis lovechild, and neither does my brother. And honestly, to me, it feels like Sperm Donor is just trying to get free babysitting/weasel his way into our lives again. I've lived through seven years without him, and I'm happy to die this way. I'm thirty now, I have no interest in getting to know my five year old sister.

Am I the Asshole for refusing to get in contact with her? ######

Response: NTA. Maybe I'm cynical, but I think they want you to "develop" into a babysitting option. ######


Prompt:
So I own a large U shaped house that was renovated to be 3 apartments. I live in one and rent out the other two. A family with three kids lives in the larger apartment and a single guy (steve) lives in the studio apartment.

Steve moved in a couple years ago and asked to have a cat. We agreed to raised the rent by $25, he had two weeks from getting the cat to show proof that it was vaccinated and neutered, and it had to be a fully indoor cat. All terms were met.

I gave the same offer to the family five years ago but they didn't want the rent increase. Instead tried to sneak in a stray and keep it indoor/outdoor so I told them they had two weeks meet the terms. They get rid of the cat and didn't ask again until this week.

This week the mother asked to get a dog and I told her that she couldn't. She got angry and said was being discriminated against because she has kids. I told she couldn't because she broke the terms before and I only allowed indoor cats not dogs. Then her husband said that Steve shouldn't be allowed to have a cat either then but he met the terms and pays the increase. Then called me an asshole all over social media for being bias against children.

A lot people are saying I'm an asshole for allowing one renter a pet but not the other. I've replyed to the post explaining the terms and violations but everyone keeps saying that it wasn't fair to the family and I'm an asshole. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Many places allow a cat, with a pet deposit, and no dogs. Often dogs aren’t allowed as they can be more destructive and can be noisy. If they’re also allowed an indoor cat, following the same rules as the other tenant, but choose not to then that’s on them. ######


Prompt:
I have a friend who has owed me $2,300 since mid March. Her dog needed emergency surgery, I put it on a credit card since he needed immediate treatment. I am not wealthy and it's a lot of money to me. Things have been tough for her financially and personally lately, so I haven't mentioned it. She just kicked out her boyfriend a couple weeks ago, so she's in a very fragile place.

However, she just got all of her backpay unemployment (finally.) I didn't ask the exact number, but I'm pretty sure it's somewhere around 15k. She's gone on a crazy shopping spree and bought a MacBook, Camera, etc. She's been wanting to start a YouTube channel for a while, and I'm happy she's finally doing it. She needs a hobby.

She hasn't mentioned paying me back yet, and I hate to bring it up. I know she is already having a difficult enough time, and she is a good friend that I don't want to make her life worse, but I have been stressing over this debt for months.

WIBTA If I told her I need to be paid back now? ######

Response: NTA. Make sure you get the money back before she spends it all. ######


Prompt:
I am a (16f) and I work part time at Walmart to save up money for college. My parents aren’t very well off and haven’t saved any money for my education. I don’t blame them for this but it’s also been stressing me out, which is why I wanted to get a job.

My grandma lives in England and came to my house to visit more than a month ago. My mom has been begging me to give my grandma $500 because I am the first of her grandchildren to get a job and it would be a special gift. My mom also thinks that I should give her this money to show appreciation to her because my grandma has sent me money in the past. However, that was only once and my mom made me lie to my grandma and say I received the money even though my mom used it all. My mom has also been taking my money for other things and calling me selfish and ungrateful if I object.

This really bothers me because I am trying to save up money for college because my parents never did. It feels as though if my parents cared about my future they would leave my money alone and see that I am trying to better myself. I think it’s also important to mention that my grandma and I have absolutely no relationship due to distance.

I feel really bad and guilty because it’s always been ingrained in me that you’re supposed to give up anything for family and you’re not supposed to disrespect your elders. Am I the asshole for not wanting to give up a piece of my college money for my grandma? ######

Response: NTA. Make sure no one else has access to your accounts and keep saving. No one is ever entitled to something you earned. Don't feel bad or guilty, you're doing something that will help your future and you should be really proud of that. ######


Prompt: A coworker committed insurance fraud and bragged through the office about it. We work for the insurance company. There is an investigation into her conduct. She is saying that we all knew about it and we are just as guilty so we should all be fired too. AITA for telling the investigators all the info they need like when she claimed and how. It was for a mobile phone. She said she left it on the top of her car then drove off. But her husband was still using the phone until the day the replacement arrived and then he sold it to a friend. So they got a new phone, and money for the old one. It was only about $900 but it's still fraud. And she still wanders around the office like she didn't do anything wrong. She is work friend but I would rather have my job than her in my life. AITA?? ######

Response: NTA. Lying to the investigators, now that would make you an asshole for sure. ######


Prompt:
I (21f) work at a store with a lot of vendors who bring in their own product. A lot of these vendors are white men in their 60s+, who borderline sexually harass me and the other female staff, are racist, homophobic, rude to service staff, pretty much every negative white conservative baby boomer thing you can think of. They will sit in the store and talk loudly about pro gun rights the day after mass shootings, and pin blame on other races. Ex) “its usually the muslims who do the shooting”

They aren’t even supposed to stay in the store. We sell their product for them, all they do is bring it in.

I’m pretty tired of the rude and condescending behaviour towards me, especially since I have been a supervisor for a year now and worked there for a few years. When they come to pick up their cheques, a lot of them will bark at me and interrupt me helping customers to demand their money, or not say anything but just rub their fingers together and stare at me. I’ve also gotten comments like “oh I looove being handed money from a woman” when I give it to them.

Now when vendors approach me impolitely, I’ve gotten in the habit of saying “what’s the magic word?” and smiling while I hold their cheque. I make eye contact and patiently wait for them to say “please” before I give it to them. It puts them on the spot for being rude, but its also extra and unnecessary. Although there’s nothing else I can do about their inappropriate behaviour. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. lol ######


Prompt:
It's not a big deal at all and it has been resolved since but it left me unsure if I'm in the wrong.

My girlfriend and I both had our own Spotify premium accounts to begin with, but at one point she decided she didn't want to pay for it anymore, even though she listens to music a lot.
I felt bad for her, as free Spotify has these annoying ads every so many songs.
Therefore, I gave her the login to my account, under the condition that she listens offline when I'm also using it. You can't have two people online on the same Spotify Premium account, unless you buy the family package (which I didn't have).

Now today she started saying how I should just go offline whenever she's listening, too.
By going offline though, I can't go on social media either while listening to music, as you have to turn both your wifi and data off for Spotify to see you as 'offline'. My gf on the other hand also has an iPad that she could just use to listen to music offline on while still using her phone.

So, I told her no. I'm not going to have the discomfort of not being able to use my phone for other stuff while listening to music on my account that I pay for.

Am I the asshole for that? ######

Response: NTA. lol sometimes I’m amazed by some of the situations posted on here. Only way she can have that leverage is if you both split the monthly payment...but then by then why cant she just pay for a new account? Also, not to mention when she uses your account it kind of messes up the algorithm spotify uses to find music you like. This is a $10 dollar/month problem. ######


Prompt:
On Sunday my sister and I both FaceTimed our mom for Mother’s Day. We talked for about an hour, and in the middle of it I asked my fiancé to grab me a drink when he went into the kitchen. I said something like “peanut, can you get me a drink”. Now I realize that calling my fiancé peanut is a little silly and weird but I like it and he likes it so I don’t see a problem. It comes from when we were first dating and he tried to get some peanuts off the top shelf and ripped the bag and spilled them all over his head. I called him peanut for a few days as a joke and it just sort of stuck.

Anyway my sister got all upset and started saying how it was rude to call him that because she’s allergic to peanuts. It pretty much ruined the rest of the call because I wouldn’t apologize for calling my fiancé a nickname and she was upset the whole time.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Lmao.

I'm allergic to seafood, but I don't get all crabby when it's mentioned. ######


Prompt:
I work in the food industry, and today at my job something interesting happened.

A lady walked in with a little girl, and asked my boss in Spanish, “does anyone here speak Spanish?”. To which i respond in Spanish “yes i do, how can i help you?”

We get her order, she pays then leaves.

After she leaves, my boss comes up to me and says, “we don’t speak Spanish at ____(food industry name). The lady obviously spoke English if she came with her daughter who was born here. She was just being lazy. Even if she didn’t speak English, we could’ve figured something out, we don’t need to be speaking Spanish to our customers”.

And I’m just like “?” I’m respectful to authority so i just told him okay, it won’t happen again. During the moment i was so confused, like, i thought i was helping HIS customers.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Lmao “we could’ve figured something out.” Yeah, maybe speaking Spanish ######


Prompt:
My birthday was last week, and yesterday a package arrived at my door, and it was lingerie. It had a note in it that said happy birthday ~friend. I have never mentioned wanting lingerie to him. I haven’t talked about underwear or sex at all with him. I just play video games and D&D with him. I thought it was weird as hell and kind of creepy to order me lingerie. If my husband got me lingerie, okay a little self serving but I wouldn’t mind that much. A friend? Weird.

Anyway I messaged him that it was weird and I would appreciate if he didn’t do anything like that in the future, and he got all defensive and started saying stuff about how he thought I would like it and that he put a lot of effort into it. I told him I would prefer nothing over this kind of gift, so in the future just get me something generic if he wants to get me a present. He blew up at me and blocked me.

I’ve known the guy 10 years, he’s never made a pass at me, always been a pretty normal guy, was I too harsh here? Because otherwise I don’t know what got into him. ######

Response: NTA. Lingerie is sexual. It was SUPER inappropriate of him and you’re right for telling him off ######


Prompt:
I have two daughters 9F and 7F.

My youngest has always been my family’s favourite, especially her fathers favourite because she’s more outgoing and confident, she loves climbing and football.

My eldest is more cautious and anxious, she isn’t as confident as her sister but that’s okay and I’m always telling her people learn in their own speed and have different personalities and skills.

It’s not a secret that my ex prefers our youngest; she looks like him more, she’s got blonde hair like he does and blue eyes and tans easily whilst our eldest looks like me with her ginger hair and dark eyes, he also claims our youngest has more personality.

My eldest has taken to trying to copy her younger sister, my ex believes it’s because she wants her younger sister to look up to her but I think it’s because her younger sister gets more attention.

My daughters spent the weekend with their dad and his girlfriend when he texted me saying my eldest is grounded because she wouldn’t stop crying and screaming at her stepmother.

This isn’t like my eldest so I asked why? Turns out she called my eldest a baby because she couldn’t do something her sister could do and was crying, if there’s something my eldest hates it’s being called baby, they know this!

Well ex’s girlfriend posted saying something like “When your eldest daughter throws a tantrum and you know they get it off their bio mother coddling them 😒😹”

I responded saying that she wouldn’t have cried had they not belittled her and put her sister on a peddlestall.

My ex texted me calling me an asshole for embarrassing his girlfriend and didn’t pick the kids up this weekend.

My mother thinks I should’ve bit my tongue and that I was an AH here too.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Like you said, kids all learn at their own pace. My 5 year old struggles with things my 4 year old does with ease, and vice versa.

Your ex's girlfriend shouldn't have belittled her like that, or taken to social media to voice her opinion *on a child*. Asshole. That's a no brainer.

Your ex shouldn't have let it happen, should have told his girlfriend off for speaking to his daughter like that, should have dragged her over the coals for posting on social media about it, and also shouldn't have essentially punished his kids by not seeing them. Asshole. He could have prevented a lot of this. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway for reasons.

My husband told me recently he wants to send money to his mother every month because she's not in good shape financially.

Thing is, this is entirely my MIL's fault, and entirely avoidable. She has unhealthy spending habits (she blew most of her savings on clothes and makeup because she didn't have as much success dating as she thought she should) and no impulse control. Her house is literally *full* of unopened kitchen appliances, training equipment that hasn't been used once, and piles of useless infomercial shit.

We lived with her for a time when our house was being renovated (which is the reason for my intense dislike but this is not a saga for this sub) and in that time she fell for two textbook scams and an MLM (that I know of). Each time we tried to warn her and each time she told us she knows better than us, she's older and we need to respect her.

In that time I found out that my husband started paying some of her CC bills without telling me. I was furious, chewed him out for hiding it from me and we moved out (yes, we paid our share of rent/bills).

So MIL is in financial trouble again and he wants to help out. I told him I will support him in getting her a carer of some sort or helping her set up a payment plan, but if he wants to give her money, it will come out of his fun/clothing/etc. budget but I will not agree to using our joint household funds. Now he's angry with me, says I don't care about his mother and want to punish him for being a good son.

AITA? ######

Response: Nta. Like you said she put herself in this position because she wanted to not because she’s disabled or sick. And I don’t blame you. I get he wants to be the “good son” but she’s not your financial responsibility. If he really wants to pay for all her things then let him. Just warn him that it better not affect what he contributes in your house and you don’t care if he has to get a second job just to afford your her lifestyle. Also make it clear that your not willing to have her live with you. ######


Prompt:
I had a heated argument with my mother about her lying.

She really likes to talk about me; especially if it's something that SHE thinks is correct, but is in fact a lie.
She thinks that she knows everything about me and that she can read my mind.
Especially in conversations with others where she would talk "for" me.

Today I told her that I really liked the one thing she brought with her about a week ago and wanted to ask her to buy it again sometime.

She looked at my dad and said: "Did you know that she ate it in one sitting?"
I was confused that she would lie about me.
Me: "That's not true."
She ignores me.
I say it again, loudly.
She still ignores me.
Me (yelling because I'm frustrated): "Why would you lie about me? It's not true! You're always doing this! Talking lies about me! Stop it already!"
Then she stormed out whilst saying: "You have cut my last nerve! Leave me in piece!"

I know that I overreacted, but I have tried talking to her so many times without results.

AITA here? ######

Response: NTA. Liars. I hate liars. The truth is the real source here. Liars will lead to be AH’s if they keep going. ######


Prompt:
For context: I am 16, mom is 49.

My mother’s grandfather passed away about a month ago. She was super close to him so it’s been really hard on her. She’s finding that she’s really sad (obviously) and having a hard time coping.

My mom usually doesn’t like materialistic gifts so I usually just write her a letter or a card or craft her something but I have a job as a tutor now so I wanted to buy her a little bit. I did write a card for her and got some other stuff but when I was browsing target I saw this thing called a “happy journal.” It basically consists of ideas to do for self care and happiness and a place to record her moods. I thought it was a thoughtful idea because she’s been sad lately and I wanted to acknowledge she was going through a tough time.

However, my friends told me it’s insensitive and I’m just marketing off of her sadness. I truly thought it was a good idea because she hasn’t been seeing her therapist due to quarantine and virtual therapy isn’t cutting it. I feel like a bad daughter and I’m hesitant to give it to her.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Let me tell you something, your friends don't know their assholes from their elbows. That is a very fantastic gift idea and very thoughtful. It shows you care, you listen and you understand. I would 100% give that gift to her and be proud doing it. Your friends need to find a new "cause" to jump on because this one isn't cutting it. ######


Prompt: Like I said in the title she totaled my car during Christmas break she gave me some money for the car but I was able to buy a decent car with my insurance money, (5,000 for the new car). The new car that I bought, I drove that up until last week when the transmission failed and the cost to fix it would be more than the car was worth, so I said screw it and I leased a new 2020 Honda Civic so I would have a reliable car and she's upset because I won't let her drive it. And with this coronavirus going on it's fairly difficult because the bus only runs at certain times, we dont live by any family and most of our friends live in different towns so they cant pick her up. I offered to pay for her to get an Uber or asked her to try to get a ride from a coworker. I drive her into work at 7am on my way to work, but she gets out at 4pm , I usually and dont get out of work until 6 or 7.  Am I the asshole in this situation? ######

Response: NTA. Let her be upset. Its a leased car. If she totals it again you are fucked badly. ######


Prompt: To get right down to it, my family is descended from Robert E. Lee. We don’t have the last name anymore, but if you have kids, it’s just a given in my family that one of them has to have Lee incorporated in there somewhere. Every year in June we have the “Lee family reunion” that I personally haven’t attended for years. I’m a girl, but I’m the firstborn of my siblings so my first name has Lee in it. I now have two kids of my own, a two year old and a five month old. Both of them are boys, neither of them have Lee anywhere close to their name. I love my family, but to be honest several of them are insanely racist and I just made the decision that I didn’t want to carry on the name or have my kids be any part of their bullshit. Who cares about some dead guy who lost his fight anyways. I’m convinced no one in my family actually cares about the “heritage” or ol’ Rob himself at all, he just happens to be famous so my family is a slut for the name. Obviously it’s been a bit of a hot topic recently. We have a “Lee family reunion” Facebook page, and the elders have been a bit snippy about the name not being carried on lately. Apparently a lot of people think it’s a really big deal and that all the attention shouldn’t be focused on the actions, but the “family” and the “heritage”. AITA for not continuing the tradition? ######

Response:
 NTA. Lee was an enemy general. The rebellion lasted less time than How I Met Your Mother was on the air. This is not heritage, any more than the third reich is German heritage.

Not all history is heritage, heritage is what we choose to continue. Looks pretty obvious what morals they want to continue. ######


Prompt:
 Last night I (24) did chores for my boyfriend (30). He was cleaning out pens and told me to leave when I was done with chores;after I finished I helped him move a feeder and said goodbye. He told me that he was going to come back to the apartment once he was done.

I woke up at 5 am and he wasn’t back yet. I texted me asking where he was and he said that was just got out of the ER. He flipped over the skid-steer. I first asked him if he was okay and than asked why he didn’t call or text me, or even his mother, and he said because I was sleeping.

I went to do chores at 5:30 and him and his mom just got back. He said I was making a big deal over him not letting me know about going to the ER. I said a simple “hey this happened but I am fine. I’ll call you when I leave” but I didn’t get anything.

Am I the asshole of being upset? Keep in mind he posted a Snapchat story about being in the ER before he told me. ######

Response:
 NTA. Last year in the winter my father, mother and I were in a different state for vacation, and during that time my grandmother fell and cracked her head open twice (the first time she actually declined medical treatment so that's why twice).

She was going to my house to feed the cats, and had lost the key in the midst of the accident. She actually had to call my great uncle, get him to get a locksmith to rip off the door lock, and get inside so the cats wouldn't starve.

Nobody told us for two days, until my dad called my great uncle to ask him to check on her because she wasn't answering. Apparently, they decided it was best not to say *anything*, because they wanted us to "enjoy our vacation".

I think it just made everything worse, because we spent like two days panicking and we almost called the police for a wellfare check. People need to communicate about stuff like that. ######


Prompt: I'm a 13M I have a twin sister 13F (comes into context later) our mom had us when she was 15 years old and our dad was 17. My mom is now 28 and my dad is 30. When we were born our dad signed over all the the custody to our mom. When my dad turned 19 and we were 2 he was basically non existent in our lives. 2 days after our 9th birthday our grandma on our dads side contacts our mom begging to get to see us. So we go on a vist with our mom there and bam there is dad. From 9 to 11 was basically redo of a custody battle that was already over at birth. Now we are 13 our mom and dad hate each other but they try to get along for us and our dad takes us out to do stuff every Sunday. With lockdown happening that wasnt possible so we would face time and stuff. Today during the face time season he told us that he is going to get a tattoo on his left side that says "jazmin, jordi [last name here] 03 - 20 - 2007" now as much as I appreciate the sentiment I am extremely uncomfortable with this. But I also feel bad because he has been on record saying how much it hurts us we dont have his last name and he is getting our legal last names tattooed on him if he goes through with this. My father is in a lot better place then he was when we were 9. He has a steady job he can live off of and everything. I'm not saying he might regret it later. I just think it's a bad idea overall. Would I be the asshole if I bring that up? ######

Response: NTA. Kinda feels like your father is doing this as a form of penance for not being there, but if so, he really needs to be open to the fact that you might be uncomfortable with such a thing. Your relationship is still relatively new, and quite complicated; it's not a straight line to a normal parent-child situation and can't really be expected to be just yet. ######


Prompt:
Backstory: my older sister (40) is sick. Has been going blind. Not entirely sure what is wrong. This has been going on for about 6 months now. She has her good days and her bad days. However, her bad days are bad. Doesn’t want to get out of bed, headaches, worse vision, etc.

Now here is where my mom comes in. She is constantly texting/calling us (brother, other sister, and myself) to tell us my sister’s latest status. If we don’t show sympathy or call my sister within 24hrs, we get a group text saying how disappointed she is in us. At this point, I think we have all just gotten numb to her bad days knowing that it will get better in a day or two and she will be fine.

Today, sister texted the family chat saying that her vision has been the worst it’s been since Tuesday. Nobody said anything for 15 minutes. 15 mins is enough time for someone to be taking a shower, making dinner, having sex, whatever. Mom sends a text to me, other sister, and brother saying how disappointed she is in us (yet again) because we didn’t respond in 15 mins. So I absolutely lost my shit on her. I told her that we aren’t glued to our phones, have lives to attend to and that our lives don’t stop the second we get a text message. I told her that of course we feel bad for our older sister, but give us some fucking time to respond before guilting us into it and stop micromanaging our lives. It wasn’t like the family group text changed the subject after my oldest sister texted us. We all just were doing something else. And honestly did not see her text to respond in 15 god damn minutes.

So, AITA for telling my mom to chill the fuck out with the guilt trips? ######

Response: NTA. Kind of in the same situation but with a dialed back frequency. Once you hear someone is sick, they haven’t gotten better and it’s over the course of years, of course it’s sad and tough to hear, but you start to not get phased by it, and you don’t react. Your mom is treating sympathy like it’s a form of currency. All I can say is I’m there if they need anything. I’m not rich, I can’t offer anything of actual value monetarily. I would speak only with your sister and let he know you’re there for her and to just ignore mom. ######


Prompt: I’m a 22 year old girl and a couple days ago my bfs cousin who’s 6 had a birthday party. It was hot so I came in a tank and short jean shorts. When I got there my bf told me he wanted to me to go home and change he thought my outfit was inappropriate for a children’s party. I didn’t believe it was at all. I got pretty angry with him and instead I just left and stayed home. He told me I blew it out of proportion and easily could’ve just changed. Now I’m just sitting here wondering if I handled it the right way or if I should’ve done anything different. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Kids don't give any kind of a shit how we dress, its us that tell them to care.
You didn't have an argument at the party and you didn't cause a scene there either, you just went home and stayed. ######


Prompt: Yes, I am 35 and have a 10yo half-brother from my father's second marriage. I am sort of a quasi-father/brother to my younger brother, My father and his wife were not planning on having kids so they were not prepared. My brother is a really cool kid and he spends a lot of time with me and my wife. His school got shutdown and home schooling doesn't cover the "puberty" discussion. He clearly is on the cusp of puberty. His hygiene consists of a short shower, brushing teeth, rinsing and that's it. It's clear he needs to up his hygiene game. I bought a "bro kit" for his age which consists of deodorant, electric toothbrush, good body wash, facial pads, etc. He needs some, but not all thought I don't think it's ever too early to start. I already know his mom will be upset by it and question it. I know if I try to talk to her or my dad, it will go in one ear and out the other. ######

Response: NTA. Kid needs to learn hygiene or he’s gonna be the smelly kid at school. Why does his mom not want him to be clean? ######


Prompt:
My friend had these really, really dirty (and old ish?) Nikes that she told me she was gonna get rid of, because “cleaning them is impossible and too much work”.

They were not too bad off, just dirty and even in my size! So me being a broke university student asked if I could have them, and she said yes, do what you want with them. I normally save all of my money, so no new shoes in a while, boy was I happy!

She gave me the shoes some days before the lockdown, so we haven’t seen eachother in about two months before this past saturday.

I had cleaned the shoes really intense, and actually used many hours and money on it. We had a little get together with some of our friends (yes, my country is NOT in lockdown anymore, it is very controlled).

At this get together she saw the shoes, and said “oh Thank you *my name*, you fixed up my shoes!”. At this point i thought she was joking, and said something like “yeah, they just needed a little love to shine perfectly white and bright again”.

She then started asking why I had them on, and if I could take HER shoes off - at this point i was like ????, and told her she gave them to me, so i would not take them off.

Most friends are on my side and are saying that because she would have dumped them in the trash and GAVE them to me, they are mine. I sure as hell think they belong to me too, because 1) she gave them to me, and 2) I spend a lot of money and time to fix them and 3) SHE GAVE THEM TO ME.

She is accusing me of stealing them and that i was only “borrowing them”. She left quikly, and some of the others said i was kinda an asshole for not giving them back.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Keep the shoes, ditch the friend. ######


Prompt:
My older sister (17f) goes out at around 9-11pm almost every night to go "get groceries" when, in reality, she just goes to buy herself multiple bags of clothes and snacks and brings back very limited groceries (like a gallon of milk or orange juice). She'll buy the clothes with her money about half the time and she uses my mom's card the other half. My mom definitely spoils her more than me and my twin sister.

Every time she gets home, she honks the horn over and over and over. She will do this for over 30 minutes until either me, my twin sister, or my parents come out to help her. She usually doesn't even have more than 4 bags so I don't understand why she always "needs" help.

She doesn't send a text or anything. She just honks the horn. My mom has told her numerous times to stop doing it because her and my twin sister have anxiety and the sudden honking can easily push them over the edge. It also wakes up people, like me, who like to go to bed earlier. I told my mom last time that I wasn't going to help her next time she did this. My mom was fine with this. I also told my older sister and she replied with "Yeah, ok then" and rolled her eyes.

Tonight at around 9:30pm, she arrived home from the store and started honking again. I was in the living room (not sleeping, just scrolling through reddit) when she scared the crap out of me by honking again. I followed through with what I said last time and didn't move. My parents and sister also decided to do the same thing, but they were on the other side of the house. I watched as she brought in three bags. Three. Bags. THREE. She literally brought them all in in one trip.

She is currently yelling at me for not getting up to help her since I had nothing else better to do. I'm a (wo)man of my word. COULD I have helped? Yeah. Did I want to? NOPE! So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Keep ignoring her. Nobody needs help carrying in three bags, nor does someone need to go shopping every night. ######


Prompt:
My brother and sister-in-law are both in the medical field. The coronavirus has them thinking about the possibility they leave their two underaged boys orphaned if the unthinkable were to happen. My brother’s wife asked if I would take care and custody of the boys if they both were to pass away for whatever reason. I initially told her I would do whatever they needed me to do, but that my sister who is already raising a family is probably better suited. I’m single with no kids, never married.

Here's the thing: I don’t like my brother. He was a terrible bully growing up who took every opportunity to tease, torment, and belittle me if he wasn’t simply neglecting my existence. He was selfish to the extreme and my parents, who were too busy trying to put food on the table, tolerated it and thus indulged it. We’ve never had a friendly relationship and an episode of utter callousness on his part in our 20’s was the last straw for me; I didn’t speak to him for the next 15 years. His treatment of me has affected me in numerous ways to this day (I’m in my 40’s): my self-confidence, my relationship with my parents, my general misanthropy . . . repeatedly being called stupid and ugly growing up has a way of staying with a person.

My brother’s family and I are more cordial now, but only for my elderly parents’ sake. We interact during the holidays when I put on a good face. Otherwise, I have no interest in having anything to do with my brother or his family. I know that once my parents pass away (I hate even thinking about it), I’ll never interact with my brother again. I simply don't see myself being a part of their lives.  I’m thinking I should let my sister-in-law know this so she can make alternative plans for her kids and not rely on me. AITA for not wanting to take care of her children? WIBTA if I were to tell her this? ######

Response: NTA. Just tell her no, and if she pushes, explain why if you feel comfortable and haven't told her what a horrible person your brother has been to you your entire life. ######


Prompt:
I live with my parents and brother.

My dad has a habit of making jokes. He'll comment about my place being in the kitchen because I'm a girl, or joke about our animals (17 pigs (the livestock kind), 6 cats, 4 chickens, and a dog) not liking me versus another family member, just little mean jabs here and there.

This honestly hurts. I have c-ptsd from a previous abusive relationship where I was repeatedly degraded and insulted, and I hate this. But if I politely ask him to stop, I'm being too sensitive, I'm being ridiculous. It's usually met with a scoff and an eye roll.

AITA for asking my dad to quit? ######

Response: NTA. Just pretend you don't get it. Make him explain every single "joke." Deadpan face and sincerely ask him to explain it. It'll get old for him real quick (I hope!). ######


Prompt:
OK so I (26F) in a bit of a predicament. I love my dad very much, and we have a great relationship. We share a lot of interests and we have a special bond. I have no doubt that my dad has my best interests at heart, but he can be a little distracted at times.

My step-mom and I also have a good relationship, but she can be a very firm and headstrong woman, where my dad is a little softer. They have two sons together, (M15 and M17), who I also have a great relationship with but as any mother would, she sometimes favors them over me. This has bothered me in the past, but as I'm not her real daughter I've made my peace with it.

The other day I was visiting them and having dinner and we somehow got into the subject of wills and testaments, and it was kinda revealed that if my stepmom dies, my dad inherits everything and will likely pass things to my brother. It got me wondering, if my dad dies, will she inherit everything to do with as she pleases? Because in that case, I suspect that everything will go to my brothers.

My dad means everything to me, and the thought of him passing is a thought I don't think if I can avoid it, but what kills me even more would be if he died and I would have nothing of his. I don't really care about money, I care about the things we've bonded over together. For example he has a small library that we've spent countless hours in, which my stepmom and brother has had no interest in.

So the question is; WIBTA if I brought up my inheritance with him? I don't want to come off greedy, I really don't, but I'm afraid that I will inherit nothing from my dad.

&#x200B;

TLDR: If my dad dies, I will likely inherit nothing, WIBTA if I brought up my inheritance with my dad? ######

Response: NTA. Just make sure you bring it up the right way. I would tell him that the conversation from earlier has you wondering about his own will and you were curious about who he was leaving things to. I would express your interest in the library. Say that while what he does is entirely up to him that there are sentimental items that you would be interested in. Things that you would not want to sell off, but rather keep in the family. Things that have meaning beyond monetary value. ######


Prompt:
Background: I was a late bloomer and had my first kiss and lost my virginity at 27. I was overweight and unconfident in myself, until I got therapy and started working out. About a year ago I reached my goals, and I am going to brag, I look fucking good.

I got way more attention from women after that, and since I was late to the game I decided that I wanted to experience the hookup life. So I would go to bars and use dating apps to hookup.

One of my friends, Sam, who I have known since I was in my early 20s absolutely despises that I do this. Sam calls me immature for hooking up with girls at my age. Usually I keep my mouth shut, and she stops talking about it.

A couple of days ago Sam heard that I am planning to hookup with a few girls after everything opens back up, and she flipped out on me sending me this long text calling me immature, creepy, etc. This time I didn't hold my tongue, and I told Sam that it's none of her business what I am doing. I told her that she is a hypocrite, since she had her hookup phase in college as well. I explained that just because I didn't have to opportunity to experience that during college like everyone else doesn't mean I am going to miss out because she is uncomfortable. My last line was "I am going to keep doing what I am doing, so drop it because I don't need this toxicity in my life."

She hasn't texted back, but word has gotten around in my friend group about our confrontation. They agree its none of her business, but most of them say I was too hard on her and she is just "looking out for me." So reddit did I go too far? Was I the AH? ######

Response: Nta. Just make sure you are getting std screenings to be safe and use protection. You don't want a one night hookup to be a 18 year to lifelong commitment. ######


Prompt:
So, I (17M) was just relaxing at home with my little brother (11) and my mother’s girlfriend’s son (7). My mom and her girlfriend left the house without any warning and didn’t tell me or the two little ones where they were going. This is pretty normal, they usually will come back with grocery’s or tell me they went to go run some errands when they get back.

I had ordered lunch for pickup and when it was ready I left the two children to go grab my lunch. I told them I’d be right back and where I was going, and also told them to call me if something went wrong and if something REALLY serious went wrong, call 911 first and not me.

When I got back home with my food, the car my mom and her girlfriend took for the day was in the driveway. I walked in the door and immediately started getting questioned by my mom’s girlfriend about why I left the kids there. My mom was fine with it, my little brother has stayed home alone for short periods of time before and it’s not a problem. My mom’s girlfriend was upset because her son is only 7 and something really bad could’ve happened.

I told her that her child isn’t my responsibility, especially when she hasn’t notified me or even asked me to watch after him while she was gone, and that she should find a babysitter if she’s that worried about me leaving for 5 minutes.

So, am I the asshole for leaving her son alone without proper supervision or is she just being irresponsible by leaving her child with me without telling me? ######

Response: NTA. Just like you said, if she expected you to be in charge of her kid she probably should have asked you to do so. ######


Prompt:
Some backstory:
     So last November I (18F) moved in with my now ex-boyfriend (22M) to an apartment with 2 other people. These two people are married and we were friends with before moving in together. The husband (20M), we'll call him John, is in the military and his wife (20F), we'll call her Abby, worked part time at some store.
    Recently John came back from a deployment and immediately upon him getting home she got pregnant. Now since she's been pregnant the chores that need to be done around the house haven't been getting down (dishes, trash, etc.). Now we don't take turns doing these chores but previously we had a talk and its a general rule that you wash your own dishes and if you see the trash needs to be taken out just take it out. But about a week and a half go John and Abby decided to cook and left their dishes in the sink, which is no biggy, but by the 3rd day they were in the sink I confronted John while he was sitting in the kitchen and asked if he was going to clean up the dishes.
    He responded with "well Abby and I have both cleaned up the kitchen by ourselves why don't you."
   I said "well they're not my dishes, why doesn't Abby just wash them"
    He drops in the excuse that she's pregnant and doesn't want her doing a whole lot (which I understand) so I just left it alone. And my ex ended washing the dishes later that day because they had piled up and it was getting annoying.
   Now this isn't the only situation that this has been an issue. But I told my ex that I'll be moving out because I don't feel respected and he says I'm in the wrong. ######

Response: NTA. Just imagine how it is going to be when they have a baby. ######


Prompt:
Okay so this is pretty funny I know
I got fired today from a studio I was working in as a tattoo artist. I did not get a proper reason to why and my boss fired me over text. I'm pretty upset over it and I lashed out on him because he sees me almost everyday yet did not have the guts to do it face to face. He also did not complain about anything I've done (nor my tattoos) and just couldn't seem to give me an actual valid reason so I'm still confused.

I can't sue him because we don't have a contract and I'm a freelancer (most tattoo artist in my country are freelancers)

I also had to find another job because he didn't forward any clients to me (I still don't have enough of my own clients to provide for me.) Anyway I didn't really lose any money over this.

Okay to the point-
I had a really great pair of scissors and I brought it to the studio for the staff and for me to use because the studio had only very shitty scissors and no one bothered to buy any new ones. (Also I would bring baked goods and whatnot all the time, made sketches for my boss to tattoo... I did A LOT in that studio)

So my scissors are the most popular ones in the studio right now and i want them back.

I want to take them back without telling anyone.
I know it's pretty passive aggressive of me but I feel like this was really unfair and screw the owner??

So WIBTA if I take them back without anyone knowing? They are used by everyone so they're not really only mine when they're there. ######

Response: NTA. Just go back and say tell whoever is there you are getting your stuff since you’ve been terminated. Then just get your scissors and anything else that’s yours. ######


Prompt:
So for a while now I’ve owned two horses, mine and my daughters (13F) and they’re about 4 now.

2 years ago my sister got her daughter a horse, my niece is 12 now.

They usually only visit Fri,Sat & Sun for about 2hours so I usually let them into the field of a morning, groom them and put them away of a night which I charge £30 every two weeks.

(The field isn’t attached to our house, it’s on the other side of the road.)

We’re planning on moving, its a 5hr 12min drive meaning my sister couldn’t  drive here as frequently and she can’t afford to rent the field her daughters horse is in currently.

I told her I’d keep her horse up here for her daughter for £160 a month which includes caring for the horse.

She’s offered to sell me the horse.

I’m considering it, I did say I’d be willing to pick her daughter up for the weekends but that isn’t possible as the weekends are my nieces fathers custody agreement.

I’ve been getting called/texted by family members saying what an AH I am for exploiting family/stealing my nieces horse when I can afford to do it for free especially while she’s going through a hard time (her parents divorced)

WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA. Just because they have personal stuff going on doesn't mean their pets are your responsibility. Horses are expensive to keep and maintain. If she's willing to sell you the horse then ok but if the family is so concerned about their struggle them why don't they pitch in and pray for the costs? ######


Prompt:
So first and foremost I must say my parents are amazing but their siblings and parents aren't as great as my parents are. When I was younger I had always wanted to be with my Aunt's and grandparents to spend time with them yet they would always ignore me in favor of my cousin who was a year older than me. At that point in my life it was only my cousin and I being the children in the family. Fast forward a few years and it was no longer just my cousin and I. It was My cousin, her brother, my sister, and I. I was sorta hoping that with two new additions they would no longer be able to focus on purely one person. I was right. They focused on my sister, and both my cousins always forgetting I was a part of the picture. This always lead to awkward holidays where everyone was having fun and I felt stuck like I was talking to strangers.

Now a days, my grandpa passed away and the family was devastated. all of them posting stuff on Facebook like "I've lost all ties to this family" or "My family is falling apart". It also just so happened that I had finally finished school and landed myself a nice job that lets me travel yet it's only now after I've left that they are trying to build a relationship with me. My parents asked me to please just try to talk to them and be nice but I always respond with "Why should I be there for them if they were never there for me?"

I feel like I'm justified in thinking this but I still feel a little like an asshole. Everyone tells me that I need to get over it because they are blood. But blood doesn't always mean family right?

So AITA?

TL/DR: AITA for refusing to talk to my family because they were never there for me? ######

Response: NTA. Just because they are technically family does not mean you have to be close or have a relationship with them. ######


Prompt:
Sorry for formatting, also English is not my first language.

Throwaway cause she knows my username. I know the title sounds bad.

I (f, 20) have had a boyfriend since 2018, pretty damn healthy relationship. I'm also bisexual with a preference for men.

Basically a few days ago a gay girl (f, 19) told me she liked me. She knows that I'm bi. Our conversation went something like this

Gay girl (gg): Listen here, (my name), I have a crush on you.

Me: Okay? But you know that I have a boyfriend.

GG: That's all you're going to say?

Me: Yeah? What am I supposed to say?

GG: Don't you like me back?

Me: No. You know I'm okay with my relationship.

GG: But you said you're bi! ((((here she started getting mad))))

Me: I am bi but my relationship is healthy and I don't have any feelings towards you

GG: ((((started yelling things I didn't understand and that I'm homophobic))))

Of course after that I hung up without saying bye. Yesterday her friends started messaging me that I'm an asshole for not giving her a chance. I don't want to give her a chance cause I'm happy and I tried explaining that but they still insist that I'm an asshole. After her friends started messaging me I called her and told her to tell them to stop that because thats fucking harassment. She said they were not going to stop so I told her that I don't even like her as a person right now.

so reddit

AITA for not liking a gay girl? ######

Response: NTA. Just because someone shares the same sexuality as you doesn't mean you have to feel a mutual attraction to them. ######


Prompt:
Even though I live in a wealthy neighbourhood, people seem to not want to bother putting up fences for their dogs or even if they do put their dogs in the front Yard without being leashed to anything.
Usually it’s not that big of a problem but, today it was.

As I was walking my dog, another dog ran out of it yard and came towards us. He wasn’t barking or anything, I think he just wanted to say hello but, I’m very cautious of other dogs and I just kept walking. The dog followed us past a few houses (so for at least a couple minutes), and stopped to pee, we kept walking about a minute later I heard yelling looked back. A man was running frantically at the dog, a car was coming down the way and swerved out of the way. The man (the owner) sternly yelled at the dog, was able to grab it and take it home. To be clear I was down the road by now and while I saw what happened I wasn’t close at all.

I went on with my walk and about an hour later on the way back, passed the house with the dog. As I had passed the house and was halfway passed the next house, the man that opened came out of his house and started calling after me. At first I didn’t realise he was calling after me and kept walking but when he continued to yell “hey” I tried around and said “me?”

He started going off about how it was my fault his dog was almost hit by a car. I should have caught his dog and brought it back to his house.

I countered his argument and said “actually if you had been keeping a close eye on your dog, he wouldn’t have wondered off. It’s your responsibility to watch after your dog and not mine.”

The man huffed at my argument, waved his hand at me and walked away. AITA?

To be clear a lot of the reason I didn’t bother with the dog is because I assumed the owner was close by and would call the dog back to him. Plus it wouldn’t have been easy to grab the dog and walk him back to his house as he didn’t have a leash and I had a dog if my own I was walking ######

Response: NTA. Just because someone decides to be irresponsible with the animals that he keeps doesn't mean the rest of us need to pick up the slack. If he doesn't want his dog to run away, he needs to invest in a leash and/or a fence, and not to rely on the passersby to watch their animal for them. ######


Prompt:
These past few weeks, my mom has been trying to convince me to leave my son with her because she’s been lonely because my dad died recently but my wife and I refused because Of what she did that last time we left our son (8m)

My mom has become a very big conspiracy theorist and we left our son with her for a month because we wanted to go on a trip together. When he went back to school, they were talking about 9/11 and he immediately piped up “my grandma said the zionisy jews did it” we got a call from his teacher asking what is my mom teaching him. It embarrassed us both and I called her up asking what the fuck is she telling my kid. She just tried to defend herself with “it’s true, Besides do you know how many Jews died in 9/11? None!” I just hung up so that’s why I’m wondering if I did the right thing in refusing? ######

Response:
 NTA. Just because she's your mom doesn't mean she needs alone time with your son.
Not only should we still be distancing from those we dont live with....she is trying to indoctrinate him.
No 8yo needs hear 9/11 conspiracy theories. ######


Prompt: I really like to draw and my mom supports me on that. Recently she got me a new sketch book when she went out, I've had the book for 1 month or so then a couple days ago she told me that she looked through the book, I was visibly upset ( I've told people before that i do not like it when they look through my sketch book without  my approval) I told her in the nicest way possible that was my book and it's not hers to just flip through whenever she wants.  Then she starts  yelling at me telling me that she bought it and she could look through it whenever she wanted. I try to defend myself telling her that I would decide if I wanted anyone to see it but she kept cutting me off. I was pretty pissed and left. I feel like I might be the asshole because shes my mom and she encouraged me to draw when my family wouldn't accept it as a career choice. I know this is not as dramatic as other posts but please I want to know AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Just because she helps you financially doesn’t mean you don’t deserve privacy. Honestly parents that think just cause they pay they can snoop in your stuff are the worst. ######


Prompt:
I [20 M] live with my mum and brother [8]. I've wanted a switch since it came out but life and other hobbies have gotten in the way. Over the quarentine my expenses have gone down since I no longer have to buy food at uni, and I should have enough pocket money to pay off the rest of this year's fees and to get a Switch.

However, my brother's been very uncooperative with studying as he wants to play videogames all day instead. Because of this my mum has told me to not get a Switch, as she wants to cut my brother's gaming time and feels that even if I were the one to get the switch with my own money, he'd still see it as a reward.

I've already decided to not got the Switch to keep the peace, but am I the only one who feels it's unfair that my brother's misbehaving is directly affecting what I can do with my own money?

INFO EDIT: I could absolutely keep it in my room and restrict his access to it. If I was really commited I could probably have it without him ever knowing (although I probably wouldn't go that far) ######

Response:
 NTA. Just because it is in the house does not mean you or your mother have to let him play it, especially if he isn't fulfilling his responsibilities with school work.

She's asking you to sacrifice something you want to make it easier on herself to parent. It's nice that you're willing to do that, but letting an 8 year old control how the house works is never going to end well. ######


Prompt: I am a 28-year-old female, married (almost 4 years) and we have 2 1/2 year old at home. My husband and I have been kicking the idea of getting pregnant again so that our daughter has a sibling and friend to grow up with. My older sister (29) just got married last November and after their cruise in February wanted to “start trying.” Heard no news from them in March so we started trying ourselves because I really wanted another baby and really wasn’t sure if they were serious or not. Fast forward to April we found out we are pregnant. We just told my parents last weekend (middle of May) and now my sister is upset and calling me selfish for not waiting until after they got pregnant first before trying ourselves. She says that I’m going to steal the spotlight and when they get pregnant no one will care. (Side note back in 2018 I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks so that’s why this time I waited before telling anyone) I'm excited that I am pregnant, but I definitely don’t need all the excitement for round two, when she does get pregnant I am going to be so happy for her, I just wish she would be happy for me as well. AITA for not waiting till my sister gets pregnant with her first before trying for our second? ######

Response:
 NTA. Joy for babies isn’t like pie, it doesn’t run out. Your sister is being silly.

Edited to add: the entire pie discussion that has unfurled totally made my day. What entertainment! OP should serve pie at her baby shower. ######


Prompt:
This is so stupid I can't even believe I am typing it out on my mobile but here it is folks cabin fever maybe getting to me so I need some nonbias perspective on this.

So my BF and I are gamers, currently, both of us are WFH. Now, normally gaming time is limited for both of us because of long hours at work and weekends are reserved for downtime. We each have our own systems I have a ps4 pro he has an Xbox one. I personally don't like the Xbox platform (I have my reasons) while he is a lot more versatile. So I will stick to gaming on my ps4 while he bounces in between the two.

Usually, he will every once in a great while play on the ps4. But lately, he's been playing only been playing it for the last two weeks it's to the point where I don't even get a chance to play. Plus the ps4 is in our bedroom he will play into the wee hours of the morning while I'm trying to sleep (I never do this to him). He knows I don't like the Xbox, I also am not into the type of he has for it I like RPGs and buy these, while he buys more strategic games or MMO first-person shooter games which admittedly I hate lol. Idk why but I get very disoriented while playing them. Not only this but he's gone in and beat some of the games I was playing so now I have to start all over.

When I've hinted I would like to play on the ps4 he will say oh just a bit longer, or why don't you go play a game on the Xbox. Basically just brushing me off and it's starting to really aggravate the piss out of me. WIBTA if I told him he needs to stop playing on my ps4 constantly and finishing my games? And also that he's being rude playing at night in the bedroom when I am trying to sleep? ######

Response: NTA. Jesus. He's not even making his own save files!? Not cool. ######


Prompt:
I was with my former spouse for many many years. Turns out he was unfaithful to me for almost every one of those years. He ended up confessing he was in love with my sister and wanted to be with her as well. At first I was crushed and dumbfounded. I felt powerless to stop the situation.  Eventually I left my spouse. I tried seeing other people just to have another family member of mine manipulate me with the guy I was seeing at the time and they got together behind my back. He dumped me and kicked me out of the room we shared.

I didn't stop trying to see people.. but I kept it more casual, less commital. That was until I met my current bf of almost a year now. I decided that he made me happy and recently decided to move. My sister claims I abandoned her, my ex spouse and their kids. AITA for moving on with my life ? ######

Response: NTA. Jesus, your family members are husband-stealing vultures. You are right to get as far away as possible. Enjoy your happy, healthy relationship without toxic people from your shitty past coming in and ruining it. ######


Prompt:
my partner when they were younger had issues with some older men saying they hoped they shaved their genitals. My partner mentioned something today about how bare female genitals make them uncomfy and said anyone who wants to be with someone who shaves is a creep. I asked what purpose pubic hair served, cause I honestly didnt know, guess its hygenic or somethin' cool. My partner then began to say people shouldnt shave, and it was weird if they did. I argued that if someone wants to do something to themselves like shave they can, its the individuals choice.

This was a bad thing to say. I was being accused of supporting something very gross and accused of being one. I denied and tried to clarify that i simply supported ones choice over their own hair situation and nothing beyond that. This went back and forth for a good while. And my partner asked if i would prefer if they shaved, to which i responded "I dont care, its your choice."

Again the wrong move. I am now disgusting and dont love my partner. They asked why i didnt stand with them on this, i told them it was because theyre advovating for social norms to be that we tell people to NOT shave instead of letting them make their own choice. As of this moment in time thats where we stand.

AITA for not siding with my partner, even though I disagree with what theyre saying? ######

Response:
 NTA. Jesus, you are allowed your own opinion!
Sure, pubic hair does serve a biological purpose and the pressure for women to be clean shaven is ridiculous and unrealistic but many women prefer to do it for their own reasons and you are only advocating for personal choice. ######


Prompt:
I've been diagnosed with S.I.H. my brain is nearly constantly inflamed and my veins are full up of blood or something else . either way , my brainstem is very inflamed and this causes me to hear things constantly, along with pain, feeling sick, hearing loss, fluid building up in my head , seizures, brain fog etc .

my parents have been treating me worse the sicker i get .

when i tell them what my illness is , they ignore it , then a few days later repeatedly ask why i am the way i am, like they just dont get it.

when i tell them im having a headache they say 'oh it's that computer you're on' - matter of factly, COMPLETELY ignoring my diagnosis when stabbing headaches are one of the core symptoms .

when i explain my muscle seizures , they have mocked me by copying me when im having an episode and call me 'crazy' even though i cant help it .

they also keep yelling at me for talking loud which i cant help because my hearing is affected also .

i also get insulted for being a 'lazy bastard' because i am bed bound 20 hours a day because im sleep deprived because the hearing things keep me up for hours on end , only after about five hours of lying down , do they fade enough to not make me really anxious and stressed.

ive also had them threaten to hit me because i forgot what bin to put something in . i tried to explain the memory loss and how a doctor says i have a type of dementia (which is a symptom of S.I.H when it is chronic) and i forget things. they gaslight me by saying 'well i forget things too, so how can i still feed myself?' and whatnot.

WIBTA for actually raising my voice and getting assertive with my parents? ######

Response: NTA. Jesus Christ, this is a messed-up family situation. I'd say you wouldn't be going far enough by just being assertive, do you think it would be physically possible for you to find a place of your own? Otherwise, I know people like this and even if you do get them off your back by standing up for yourself it'll probably only be temporary. ######


Prompt:
Hi all! I'm pretty sure I'm the asshole here but I wanted to be certain and maybe get a bit of advice on how to move

Me [20F] and my bf [20M] were eating lunch in the kitchen today. We were reading funny Reddit comments to each other and I found an interesting fact on bees and decided to share it.

This for context: "Male honey bees are called drones and their only purpose is reproduction. They don’t even have a stinger. When they succeed in mating with a queen, their genitals explode and they die. If they don’t succeed in mating with a queen, they are dragged out of the hive by the worker bees (female) before winter, and die."

I told him this pretty excitedly because I thought it was the kind of cool slightly gross fact we love to share. He didn't think so and started getting aggressive over how it's a gendered offensive comment and I should basically know better. I tried to defuse it but it didn't work.

He started talking about how it was unfair that men were getting attacked just for being male and that people are using animals to make extrapolations on men. I tried to explain it was a cool bee fact but he blamed me for reading gendered comments from shitty subreddits. He started going on about job inequalities and how women get more benefits and he stalked out of the kitchen.

Later when he walked by me he said "Hi, Slut" really angrily.
Now I'm sitting here 7 hours later and he's still furious at me.

I'm pretty sure it was my bad from the start and I should have picked better things to share, but I feel his reaction is a bit unfair as well. AIT (only) A? ######

Response:
 NTA. Jesus Christ someone is insecure and projecting hard. Does he often blow up at you and treat you poorly over nothing just to make it feel like your fault?

Edit to add: someone who calls you a slut does not love you by the way ######


Prompt:
I was in a discussion with a few friends and peers, many of whom work in jobs adjacent to the comic book industry, and someone brought up how rare it was for comics, franchises and characters made by people of color to find any kind of financial success, and they then added the qualifier that even fewer of them are made for the same "communities" as their creators. Someone specifically started asking for recommendations of works made by people of color in order to be able to support them.

I then pointed out how *Astroboy* debuted in 1952, made by, for and about the Japanese, and plenty of manga and anime are exported that do not at all attempt to hide the fact that they take place in Japan with a mostly Japanese cast and staff; if anything, there was even a period of time where western-made works attempted to present themselves as being Japanese because of a perceived cachet attached to the nation.

Some objected because they said that the characters in many anime and manga are drawn to "look white" with large eyes and hair and eye colors that ethnic Japanese individuals can't achieve, I countered by saying that many Japanese works include distinct aspects of Japanese culture to the point where no one could be confused about the characters being anything but Japanese. Someone else said that the Japanese have not faced the widespread discrimination other people of color have and did not need our "help"; I countered by saying that the Japanese hold the rare distinction of being one of the few ethnic groups in America to have ever been forcibly imprisoned and that they were effectively colonized following WWII.

This started a bit of a hullabaloo in the group chat and I was privately asked to drop the subject, and I relented, but the chat kept on going on for hours after I stopped paying attention.

If it's at all relevant, I am actually a Hispanic man and a "visible" person of color (as opposed to, say, being highly "white passing"). ######

Response:
 NTA. Japanese people still face discrimination outside of Japan. The other person has to define what they mean by people of color if Japan doesn't count and defend why.

Whiteness is a very specific construct that other groups can become, like what happened with the Irish. Jewish people can pass as white and still be persecuted as nonwhite.

Also look up the ainu people of Japan.
Sure the Japanese aren't persecuted in Japan but Mexican people aren't persecuted for being Mexican in Mexico either.

Edit: They might specifically mean Americans (or whatever country your in) of color, in which case it would make more sense. Of course homogeneous societies will still have media that's popular in their society made by their people. But even then Japan is still really unique in having popular media widely disseminated outside their borders. Not a lot of famous Iranian television over here. ######