Prompt:
Basically, my bf has a friend or two over about once a week. When they come over, these guys will drink a full case of beer and eat so much (like what one of them eats for one meal would be three meals for me). I don’t mind them eating and drinking all this but me and my bf split groceries 50/50. My bf’s friends never pay for anything - they don’t even bring over a 6pack when they hang out. I’m sick of buying a 24 case of beer for it to be gone in two days because of my bf’s friends and for buying a weeks worth of groceries only for half of it to disappear in one night.

So WIBTA if I tell my bf that he has to pay for the alcohol and food that him and his friends consume? ######

Response:
 NTA You are never the asshole for having a conversation with a partner and telling them how you feel about a situation. I wouldn't start with "I refuse to buy..." but rather just open a dialog. Explain why it seems unfair and solicit his opinion on what he thinks would be a fair solution. Maybe you keep food 50-50 for yourselves and when *either of you* have guests you buy things specifically for sharing with guests. Maybe if you give things (food/drinks) to guests, the person responsible for inviting the guests is responsible for replacing what is eaten. Maybe he pays 60% to your 40% to make up for the extra amount the guests are consuming. Maybe he starts asking his guests to contribute to bringing snacks and beer when they come over or having a potluck.

There are lots of possible solutions, just start the dialog and be open and honest and collaborate with your partner on a solution. As it stands, you haven't even told him yet that the problem exists. Start there. ######


Prompt: Ok from the title it seems like I \[18M\] wouldn't, but I'm still not sure. She \[18F\] has been hitting on me for a few days, giving me obvious hints that she wants to have sex with me. She has done something similar a few years ago and I told her that I wasn't interested because she doesn't attract me. Yes, yes I know, personality > physical appearance, but at least I admit that I do care about appearance. She and some of my friends started calling me out, telling me that I should've at least gave her a chance. I actually lost one friendship because of that lmao, she was good with my friend. I don't like to hurt people. If I give her a chance now, she will get what she wants, she might get attached to me and I might not, which might hurt her even more. I recently got out of a relationship, I don't feel like getting in something else for now. I still miss ex a lot, but that's a story for another time. I don't enjoy talking to her. I am very insecure, and I don't like when some of my friends start talking about what I should have done and what I should have not done. That's why I'm asking you because I told some of them and they are telling me that I would be an idiot if I miss this opportunity and asshole because I will hurt her. So.. WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA you are never a bad or mean person for not being attracted to someone and you don't owe anyone any romantic attention ever. You don't need to give her a chance. Just tell her nicely that you're not interested and if she persists after that consider if you want to be around her anymore or not. Don't feel bad for not being attracted to someone, just be nice and she'll just have to move on. ######


Prompt:
My friend gave me his old Nintendo switch. I know my daughter, Jessie, has been wanting a regular switch for awhile. She just has a switch lite.

Right away her eyes lit up and said she would give her old switch to her cousin, Kelsie. Kelsie had to share one with her brother so the girls weren’t able to play online together often. Giving the switch to Kelsie made a lot of sense to me because she and Jessie are best friends and now they don’t get to hang out together at all.

So we thought it all worked out great, except my brother. He thinks by letting my daughter choose who to give the switch to I am helping the girls exclude his new stepdaughter.

My brother got married last summer and his wife had a little girl named Rachel. Rachel is a nice, but sometimes Jessie and Kelsie prefer to play alone just the two of them. My brother doesn’t like that. He wants them to be as close with Rachel as they are with each other. He would try to get them to do activities together and have play dates all the time.

When the lock down happened he was pretty bummed out because we had to cancel all that, but he tried to keep everyone in contact with phone calls and that’s how Rachel found out about the switches and that they were still playing without her.

He says that unlike Kelsie Rachel doesn’t have access to a switch at all since they are sold out everywhere. He thinks I really should have thought of Rachel right away and encouraged my daughter to give her old switch to her so she could play and be included.

Then he went into how I am setting up my daughter to make these choices that exclude because our other sister (Kelsies mom) and I do the exact same thing with his wife. He said she’s very disappointed we don’t invite her out with us more often. If I’m being honest my sister and I also prefer to hang out just the two of us most of the time, but we do invite our sil out sometimes.

￼ ######

Response: NTA you are allowed to be close to whoever you want. So is your daughter. The kids will maybe develop a friendship over time but you can't force them. That will only create resentment amongst them. ######


Prompt:
I’m at a loss here, and wondering if I’m being gaslit or if I’m a total asshole.

My sister is 16 and I’m 19. When my sister was 7 she begged for a dog, and my parents got her one. When he was no longer little and cute, she wanted nothing to do with him.

I’m not even a dog person, but I stepped up to care for him. He became my best friend. I went through serious bouts of depression and he was there for me. Long story short, I took care of him entirely by myself, my sister was only there for the occasional play time and belly rub.

When he got sick a few months ago, and I learned that he would have to be put down, I saved money to get some cremation jewelry made. I got a necklace and an anklet.

I am having extremely difficult time dealing with his passing, I’m still raw about it.

My sister, who never cared about him, is walking around moping, and crying and being attention seeking. She’s posting all about it on social media, and everyone is falling over themselves to comfort her. She is demanding some of the cremation jewelry. I feel like she just wants to show it off online.

I have told her no, and she went to our parents. They are saying that I have to give her the jewelry. They gave me a long speech guilting me about it. They said that he was technically her dog, she has a right to the jewelry and to remember him. I’m being called selfish for not giving her one of the pieces.

My family and I have been fighting about this. My parents point out my sisters crying, and “depressed behavior” to try to guilt me into giving her either the necklace or the anklet. I want both of them. I paid for them. I see my sister being sad and I can’t tell if I’m being gaslit or if I’m denying her closure by not giving her the jewelry. AITA here? ######

Response:
 NTA you are 19 and therefore an adult. You paid for this jewelry eith your own money and your sister had no right to it.

You're not denying her closure. She's just being a selfish teenager.

 If you wanted to be *really* nice you could offer her a collar or toy or something that you still have. ######


Prompt:
My SIL has never liked me. She had always tried to one up me. We were both pregnant at the same time. Her due date was 6 days after mine but her girl came early so she gave birth roughly 2 weeks before me. We had already announced our name because MIL wanted to make a blanket with baby's name in it.

SIL said their name was a secret. Well turns out they named their daughter the name we chose and announced. She thought she had won and I decided it wasn't worth arguing with her. I gave birth and we simply went ahead with our name choice. It's a generic name like Sara or Anna but it's was also my mum's name which is why we chose it. So technically SIL could have planned for this name all along but I doubt it.

Well, she's not happy at all that the two cousins now share a name. I told her tough luck and why did she think we'd change our name? ######

Response: Nta you announced your name and she could’ve brought up any quarrels before you both gave birth ######


Prompt:
This happened a while ago, before the virus. We were on a college study abroad, and this one girl (21) who ill call M, repeatedly grabbed my (19) butt. It took me raising my voice slightly after telling her to stop multiple times for her to actually stop.

Towards the end of the trip, M told the group that our bus driver had grabbed *her* butt. She was saying how uncomfortable it made her, and tbh that bothered me. I of course understand why it would bother her. And im sorry it happened to her. It was wrong of the bus driver to do that, full stop. However, during this conversation I said "now you know how I felt the other day," in reference to when she had done the same to me.

She was very angry i said that, and tried to say that it wasnt the same thing at all. But in my eyes, it was literally the exact some thing she did to me, after i asked her to stop until she could tell I was angry.

So, AITA for saying that? I feel like my point stands, but I can see how maybe that wasnt the time to say it. Thoughts? ######

Response: NTA yeah just because the genders are reversed does not make it any different. The bus driver sexually assaulted her and she sexually assaulted you they are both AHs ######


Prompt: So, this happened way last year, but it's still been on my mind, and some clarification would be nice so I can make up my mind and tell them "I'm sorry' and whatnot. When I (16m at the time, 17m now) lived with my parents, they'd constantly peg me to clean the entire house for them, do their laundry, and even go as far as to make me watch my 3 very little siblings (3f, 2m, 1m) almost every day while they went out on dates. Sometimes, they'd force me to watch them even as soon as I came home from school while they sat down and watched netflix. I'd say things like "I have plans with friends," or "I need to do my homework," but they didnt even care. This eventually lead to my grades dropping, considering I had no time at home to myself to do work I needed. The only time I would be able to work, would be late at night, but even then I would probably be putting my siblings to sleep as my parents were too busy watching movies or going out on dates. Because of my grades dropping, they'd take away my phone, my ps4 and PC, and even my TV, and use it as an opprotunity to make me do whatever they wanted, using 'You're not doing anything, anyways' as an excuse. This took a heavy toll on me, as I not only stopped being able to take on large amounts of stress, but I often found myself pulling off numerous attempts to off my own life, only to no avail, and just staring at the roof crying late at night. Eventually i was pushed too far, and I snapped at my mother, which she said 'I gave birth to you' and I replied "You shouldn't have.", and I felt abit like TA here. Things got too heated there, and I ended up moving away and back to my Grandparents, who've been the nicest people I've known in my teenage years, but I'd just like to know if I was TA in this situation, so I could apologize to my mother for all the things I said when I snapped. ######

Response: NTA x100. Your parents are abusive and manipulative. Don't apologize for anything. ######


Prompt:
yea yea i know we’re all sick of leg shaving posts here but i need a second opinion.

i’m currently living with my dad for various reasons after not living with him for a few years. he’s been dropping hints the past day or two that he wants me to shave my legs (ex. commenting on it, offering me a fresh razor) but i don’t want to for various reasons like razor burn. and also we’re not going anywhere where i’d show my legs so why does it matter?

today when i got out of the shower he asked me if i finally shaved my legs and i said no. he said that he thought my legs were “unsightly” (i have dark thick hair and pale skin so i admit the hair does show up quite a bit). i told him about razor burn and ingrown hairs. he replied that “i’ve never met a woman before who didn’t shave their legs”. i answered that most women do not shave their legs when they don’t need to for the aforementioned reasons. he just repeated the same thing. then i started to get mad and i said “i don’t like seeing your arm hair but i don’t ask you to shave it so why do you keep asking me” and he said “don’t get on my case”.

i was really upset at this point, because it felt like he was valuing his aesthetic preference over my comfort. i told him that and once again he said i’m the only girl he’s ever seen who doesn’t shave my legs. i went to my room and now i’m sitting here alone, and i wonder if i was too harsh on him or could i have explained it better. he sounded really exasperated which admittedly made me more upset so i was yelling a bit. maybe i am an asshole but i think he’s one too for not listening to me. i even said “go look online about reasons why women don’t like constantly shaving their legs” and he said “i’m not doing that.” or maybe i’m just making excuses. i don’t know, i’m so frustrated. that’s why i want second opinion(s).

so reddit AITA? and what do i do if i am or am not? ######

Response: NTA x100. It’s your body to do as you please. The fact that your father is so invested in your body hair is icky. ######


Prompt:
My so called friends won’t invite me to their houses or to parties because I don’t drink. I don’t drink alcohol because my father used to be an alcoholic and I have a lot of health problems. I’ve told my friends multiple times that I don’t care if they drink, but I won’t. They will not invite me places because of this and they make up lies saying “I’m scared of alcohol”. I have no desire to drink alcohol, but I would like to be invited to social occasions.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA x a million

Your friends are assholes, and boring ones at that. Anyone who desperately needs everyone present at a party to be drunk is throwing a really lame party.

I don't drink either (I used to have a bit of a drinking problem myself but I've been sober for coming up 10 years!), and none of my friends even think about it anymore. I'm sorry about your dad, but good on you for breaking the cycle!

There are people out there who will respect your decision (and not ask you to jeopardise your health?!) and they will have far more fun social occasions for you to join. ######


Prompt:
I (15F) lost my grandma to coronavirus in the early hours of this morning. We were super close as for 2 years she was bearly able to walk to I came every day after school to cook and clean with my mum going on weekends when she didnt work.

My mum was in pieces with my dad trying to make her feel better in any way possible and I had decided not to make it any harder on him because he NEVER cries but did today. I messaged my boyfriend that im gonna call "B". Because B usually makes me feel better about everything that's happened. Well B talked to me for 15 minutes before saying he had to go for 10 minutes.  well 5 hours later B came back.

When I asked B how he was (I didnt care he was gone for so long) then B had a massive rant at me explaining how he was going through a lot more than me right now and that I should just get over that she dies because old people die every day so its no big deal. I couldn't help but cry. Then B said "my grandad has cancer for the second time that's a lot worse than your grandma dieing"

My usual calmness was IMMEDIATELY yeeted out the window at this point. I blew up at B saying things like "at least he isn't f\*\*\*ing dead in a hospital" and "why cant you look on the bright side even though he has cancer at least he isn't dead" and to top it off "id rather my grandma have cancer than be dead right now" I feel like a piece of shit for saying those things.

AMTA? ######

Response: NTA Wow. Your grandma died TODAY and he thinks you should be over her death? ######


Prompt:
Background on me: I'm a 16 year old trans guy. I'm on testosterone, the medication in this scenario.What's going on:I have a T shot every Sunday at 7. I was late because I wasn't paying attention to time, no big deal since I do it myself right? I go downstairs to get my stuff to do my shot and everything is there *except* for my actual testosterone vial. I ask about it, cause you know; it's medication. My mom tells me that if I want to take my shot I have to do chores that I normally do before bed. I got pissed and went to my bedroom because that shit isn't cool. My dad comes up a little later and asked me if I knew she meant I had to do my chores and not an essay that she also brought up. I said yeah and he called me unreasonable for saying I was just gonna be super late and or miss my shot this week.
EDIT: Yes, I know I should do chores, I'm not an idiot. The issue is the fact that it was never a requirement before and that has suddenly changed. Chores don't get done til right before bed because if I don't do them then or as soon as I wake up I forget to. My mom gets pissed if I forget to do them and it ends with me not being able to do things like get a job and such. ######

Response: NTA withholding medication is child abuse. Tell your school nurse what’s going on if you want this investigated. ######


Prompt:
I am 22 and a dude, my coworker who is retiring is 67 and a woman. I’ve been working for my current company for around eight months now, she’s done such a great job of mentoring me and giving me the tools, and the mentality, to succeed in my career.  We’ve never had any sort of relationship that could even remotely be considered inappropriate, if you go through my texts we only communicate on work related matters and I’ve never even seen her outside of work or work related events. Today was her last day of work, she’s got around a year of PTO built up and so she’s taking it all starting today. I admittedly procrastinated on getting her a retirement gift, I was always planning on getting her a nice bottle of red wine and a card because wine’s her favorite thing in the world.

So I was gonna leave early before work so I could stop by the liquor store, my girlfriend asked where I was going, I told her I was going to the winery and I said it’s Dianne’s last day cause she’s retiring and I was gonna get her some wine. She questioned that and said it’s not appropriate and I asked why not, and she said she’s just not comfortable with it. Again I asked why not, and she said that that’s supposed to be a gift for lovers or close relations and not coworkers. I just shrugged and said that’s your opinion but I don’t feel that way and neither does anyone at my workplace. She said she’s uncomfortable with it and I said I get that, and I understand your fears and you’re entitled to feel that way but I’m still going to do it regardless.

I got her the wine, and for what it’s worth my gift paled in comparison to everyone else’s so it was definitely appropriate, but my girlfriend is mad and is refusing to speak to me, which is a bit childish because I don’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong. ######

Response: Nta wine is not a gift for just lovers, in fact 90% its the generic i dont know what to get this person and might not even know their name safe gift to bring ######


Prompt: My father who I haven’t seen since I was 3 recently died.  My sister who had been having some troubles moved in with him about a year ago after burning bridges with all of my mom’s family after she got pregnant and ran away from home.  She’s only 15.  I recently turned 18 and my dads family is looking to me to be involved in his estate and funeral. I don’t have any interest.  There may be some life insurance and they keep asking me about that to pay for his funeral and asking what I can pitch in even if there is no life insurance.  I don’t feel any real connection to this man. Hadn’t spoken to him for years before his death and he paid no child support while I was growing up. If there is life insurance I intend to split the money with my sister. I made it clear to my aunt, that life insurance or not, I’m not paying for the funeral.  His family think I have an obligation to and that I’m being a jerk. AITA? ######

Response: NTA why would you pay for his funeral? He played no part in your life. No deal. ######


Prompt:
Been debating posting this in case my girlfriend sees so I made a throw away.

My (26M) girlfriend (25F) has been complaining for absolutely ages about her phone, it’s an IPhone 5.

So for her birthday I upgraded her phone to the latest iPhone, it’s an expensive contract (£80 a month) I’d rather not have spent that much but she uses her phone a lot, we have two children (6F & 4F) so she takes a ton of photos and the children are always on her phone, it’s just an overall improvement?

She was really excited about it, but a week later I found out she had posted it on FB marketplace and had sold it to someone (person hadn’t collected)

So now I’m left footing £80 a month for an iPhone 5.

I told her to get a job, I’m not going to pay that off forever because I was only willing to pay it for a decent phone.

She’s upset because being a SAHM is a job and she would’ve never agreed to £80 a month phone so just because I did something stupid doesn’t mean she should have to pay for it, she didn’t need such a good phone.

I’m at work so we haven’t really spoken about it, but she’s incredibly upset and has been adding up everything she does for me.

(I do the ironing, garden work, DIY, walk the dog, cooking, bathe the children, work out our finances for the month and go to work from 5am-6pm, including travel time, so  50/50?)

AITA?

**Also, before I get told  “you shouldn’t have had two children before marriage, we only have one together and I’m considering proposing soon** ######

Response:
 NTA why sell the phone? You were going to pay the contract, her justification makes no sense.
If she didn’t want it you could have sent it back and cancelled the contract. She sounds awful. ######


Prompt: I watched my sisters kids yesterday so that she could go to what she called a 'hot tub party' I dont have kids of my own so im not 100% certain of what to do and she didn't leave me a list. She didnt answer any of my calls or texts and she payed me 5 dollars for 2pm to 11pm. I dont want to sound shallow because I'm fine with watching her kids for free but she said she'd pay me $30. The biggest problem is that i dont want to enable her. I think that if you have kids, that the part of your life where you have no cares and act like a college girl, should be over. And she does this all the time. At the same time, if shes going to do it, then someone needs to be there to watch the kids because it isnt their fault. ######

Response: NTA why is she out while everyone is supposed to be self distancing? ######


Prompt:
So my fiancé and I have a large wealth discrepancy. My grandparents gave me and my sister a large amount of money when they died, and I have a much higher paying job than him. He works just as hard as me, he just gets paid less.

The way our finances work right now is I pay most of our day to day expenses but he gets me nice birthday and Christmas presents. Last Christmas he got me a really beautiful necklace that he wouldn’t have been able to afford if I made him pay rent on the apartment. So he contributes just as much as he normally would if he paid rent, but this makes me feel better. The rent doesn’t suddenly cost more because he lives here, I was paying it by myself anyway.

My parents pestered me and pestered me to explain to them how he was paying half the rent on our apartment with his job, because he shouldn’t get paid enough to afford it while also buying everything else he does. I finally told them a few months ago that he doesn’t pay the rent. They basically had a meltdown over it and told me to break up with him, don’t go through with the wedding, etc.

I called them over Mother’s Day, and they spent the whole time asking if I have started making my fiancé pay rent. I finally got sick of it and told them no, to butt out and if they kept pestering me about our personal finances that they couldn’t come to the wedding. They had another meltdown and said that I was horrible for even bringing up the possibility that I wouldn’t invite them to the wedding.

Was that threat too far? My mom called me crying today apologizing and basically groveling to come and now I feel like shit. AITA? ######

Response: NTA why do they think it’s okay for them to say horrible things like you should break up with him but it’s not okay for you to tell them they won’t be invited to a wedding they clearly disapprove of? I wouldn’t want someone who clearly isn’t happy for me to be at my wedding either. If you’re happy in that arrangement, they have absolutely NOTHING to say. ######


Prompt:
For the last year my (26f)  roommate (26m)  has been leaving poop on the seat whenever he goes to the bathroom. Me and my wife have had several discussions asking him to please clean it and countless "I'll make sure to double check" in response. Usually I'm the one that cleans it up and I politely ask him to please be more mindful.

Here's where I might be the asshole. Today I went into the bathroom and saw poop smeared everywhere. It took me a ridiculous amount of time to clean and I got pretty mad. So after I cleaned it I yelled at him and said "seriously you have to be the most inconsiderate dickhole in the entire world. I'm so sick of cleaning up your disgusting messes. There's no way you're doing this by accident anymore."

I thought I was in the right but he started crying and told my wife that I'm making it up and trying to ruin their friendship. He said he's at the end of his rope and I'm a horrible person. I feel really guilty now. AITA? ######

Response: NTA why are you cleaning his shit up? How is he getting shit everywhere? So many questions ######


Prompt:
So this happened last year. I got engaged back in 2018, and chose my wedding party, 3 of my closest friends, and my fiancé chose his brother and 2 of his friends. Growing up, I was not close to my younger sister (then brother). There wasn't any bad blood or anything, we just don't have a lot in common and barely speak.

About 2 months before my wedding, my sister came out as a trans woman. I was happy for her that she's finally living her true life. Shortly after, she approached me and asked to be one of my bridesmaids, saying that it would basically be a sort of milestone for her in her new life as a woman. I told her no, because we already had everything planned out and the wedding was just a few weeks away. I told her I fully supported her if she wanted to wear a dress to the wedding, but it would be hard to include her at that last minute. She said she understood and didn't bring it up again. She ended up not attending the wedding, despite RSVPing yes. My parents and I tried reaching out several times over last year to see if she was okay, but she kept telling us she was fine and that she needed to be alone.

We finally talked recently and she told me she 'boycotted' my wedding because she knew the reason that I didn't want her as a bridesmaid was that she looked very masculine still. That isn't true at all. She insists that if I didn't find the way she looked objectionable, I would have included her. AITA? ######

Response: NTA who invites themselves into the bridal party two months before the wedding? ######


Prompt:
Background

I'm 13 f and i have JIA (arthritis for kids)

This happened when I was 11 and has been bugging me ever since

The actual event

My "best friend" had been singling me out after my diagnosis. She had stopped inviting me to her house and when my friend group went out she would "forget" to tell me. One day I faceTimed her and told her that she needed to stop with this. She told me that she was just playing. I was so mad as this was all intentional. I lost all my friends because of this. I had cried every night because of this. At that point I snapped and told her to "fuck off and get out of my life" I didn't talk to her for a month. We have since made amends but she still tells me that I was an asshole.

So Reddit, Am I The Asshole? ######

Response: NTA While what you said was not worded nicely, she'd been treating you badly for a while. Although given that you are all so young,, I'd say she's obnoxious and immature more than being an asshole. At her age, she may not really be able to fully understand her own actions and how awful they were. Especially since kids mature at different rates. So, I hope she becomes a better person as she grows up. ######


Prompt:
A few weeks ago I (M16) took the online AP Physics 1 test, at home due to quarantine. My parents were both out at the time. While I was in the middle of the test, around the start of it, my brother (M19) decided to go into a room across the hallway and play a video of rock guitar music at full blast even though I made sure to remind everyone that I would be taking a test today. With a raised voice, I asked, “Can you turn it down?” And he doesn’t respond. I then ask yelling, “Please, turn it down!” And he says, “Shut up, I’m already in another room!” And then I say, “(brother’s name) FUCKING TURN IT DOWN! PLEASE!” And he doesn’t. I’m sitting in front of my computer with the timer still ticking and on top of being stressed and nervous from the test, I am agitated from my brother not listening to me, distracted by the loud guitar music, and increasingly agitated by the situation and the music a constant reminder of my brother not giving a fuck. After the test is done I’m more relieved than angry that the test is done, I’m in shock but glad that it’s over with. I chose not to confront him about it. Later that day he happily showed me the video he was watching, Tender Surrender by Steve Vai. I remarked on how that video was more important to him than my test (also silently judging him) but I was too tired to get angry. He shrugs it off, and I’m annoyed that he doesn’t apologize or show remorse.
Fast forward to two days ago I got the test results and I failed the physics test. I told my brother, “remember when I was taking an AP test and you were playing that loudass guitar music and asked you to turn it down? I failed that test and I hope you’re happy.” Later that day I tell my dad about it (imagine Candice tattletaling style ig) while my brother is in the room. My brother says that I’m whining and bitching and that it’s not his fault that I’m stupid and retarded. AITA? ######

Response: NTA While it might not be the direct cause of you failing the test I would expect your brother to show at least a modicum of respect for other members of the household. ######


Prompt:
Bit of info - My children see my mother in law a handful of times a year. She lives in a village an hour or 2 bus ride away depending which on route you take. She doesnt come to ours even though she has a lodger who drives her other places and tbh shes a little flaky when we make plans so we just go to hers when we are able to.

I call and facetime her atleast once a week so the kids can keep a good relationship with her but as you can probably tell already it's very much one sided but I do it because my kids have a great relationship with my side and I want the same with them and her.

The issue - mother in law called yesterday and asked if we had plans to go round when lockdown is over as she has something for the kids. I told her as soon as we can we will be over when its allowed. She asked to speak to the kids and told them the surprise. She had gotten a dog!

2/3 were excited the middle one just burst into tears.  The middle one is severely allergic to animals with fur. I'm talking 2/3 x meds a day, and has to carry an epi pen where ever she goes allergic.

Mother in law knows this and just shrugs and says oh well I guess the other 2 will just have to come and she stays at home.

I told my husband that I'm sorry but none of the children will be going as it's not fair on middle, they will be be bringing fur into the house when they return and that I think his mother did it on purpose as the other 2 always says about how they would love a dog but cant because of middle  whenever she asks why we dont have a dog like other families.

Husband thinks ITA because I'm stopping her seeing all kids over one thing but to me it's a big thing as it's dangerous to middle and she knew that.

So WIBTA if I stopped visits? ######

Response: NTA when your child could fucking die from exposure to animal hair. That is beyond ridiculous that your husband is not supporting you on this. He needs to talk to an allergy specialist so that it can be hammered into his stupid head that allergies that require an epipen can, out of nowhere, become very serious very quickly. There are the big reactions and then there are silent reactions both can lead to death. Your other children need to be educated properly on this also so that they can be vigilant for the signs of anaphylaxis (but not in a scary way). As for your MIL fuck her for putting your child at risk, creating division in your family and gifting an animal because what kind of inconsiderate asshole does that? ######


Prompt:
So I bought a pair of shoes that cost £120, when they arrived they had black marks on them (they're red shoes). The shoes normally come with a card that has the shoemaker sign them as a quality control measure. This pair did not come with that so I imagine this process was skipped, or they were shipped hoping no-one would notice.

I emailed the company straight away no response. I emailed them again a few days later. No response. I emailed them the week later again no response. I finally opened a PayPal case. I suggested a further discount to account for the defect. Now they finally replied to my email roughly 3 weeks later and stated that their email system was done. They suggested that they could collect the shoes and offer me a replacement. However this was only if the shoes were still in a salable condition, however I had tried the shoes on a few times in the house and the bottom of the shoes weren't in a salable condition (I've not worn these outside but there were still marks on the sole). Again they stopped replying when I showed them a picture of the sole.

Now fast forward to today, turns out they didn't respond to PayPal either. The case closed in my favour and I got a full refund. No instructions to return the shoes either. Just a full refund. Something I didn't ask for, I only suggested to PayPal that they give a partial refund.

My brother and gf are telling me to keep the shoes and the refund, and say that I shouldnt waste more time in emails etc. I was thinking of emailing the business and returning part of the refund.

WIBTA if I keep the shoes and the refund without trying to give some payment back? ######

Response: NTA when PayPal sends you an email you respond. Businesses have a period to respond and if they didn't then it's on them ######


Prompt:
Basically my sister (14F) and I (20F) wanted a Nintendo Switch, but it costs a lot of money to get one so we decided to split the cost. Overall the switch + games + accessories cost about $420 (ayyy) and as I have a job and I’m older, I agreed to paying for most of it ($300).

We gave ourselves about 3 months to save up money, but by the end of it, my sister didn’t have enough for her $120 share (she was always spending money and hanging out with her friends.)

But I still wanted a Switch so I said I would cover her as long as she paid me back via artwork and drawings. She’s a great artist and she does do commissions, so we agreed that I would pay for her and in exchange, she would create 3-4 drawings for me.

So we bought the switch back in January and we both use it. Anyhow, I asked her to draw me a portrait of my friend for her birthday, nothing too strenuous, asked her 3 weeks in advance and gave her all the info she needed. She never delivered and i was angry, but I just bought my friend another present last minute so I wasn’t too upset.

Anyhow fast forward to February and she did the same thing. Then more recently, I asked if she could draw a character I liked from a TV show and she just straight up told me that she didn’t want to, that she never wanted to, that she didn’t know why I kept asking her to draw shit and that I was not entitled to her drawings.

I reminded her that her drawing for me was literally apart of the deal we had on the Nintendo switch but she said it’s been months since we got it so we should just drop it.

So I did just that and now I’m refusing to let her play the switch, of course she’s angry but I said it was technically my Switch now since I paid for it 100%. I brought it up to my mom and she said I need to be the bigger person here (figuratively and literally) and share it with my sister. AITA in this situation? ######

Response: NTA when I was 14 and wanted a PS3, I had to have my pocket and birthday money for it. 14 is old enough to learn about saving money for bigger things you want. You made a very good deal for her with her paintings and she didn't follow up. She has to learn, that she is not entiteld to stuff she didn't do shit for. ######


Prompt:
My father (52M) has been divorced from my mother for 11 years now. Ever since then he has been in a countless number of meaningless relationships that never go anywhere despite him thinking they will.

My father has a type. He likes younger women. His last 3 girlfriends were all under 30 and his most recent ex girlfriend was 25 years old (just a year older then me). My father loves to complain about how he doesn't understand what he is doing wrong. One of the things might be the huge age gap. Obviously with girlfriends pretty much half his age priorities are usually very different and most of his relationships end because of this.

Ever since the divorce he's been in a endless cycle of falling in love with a woman much younger then him and then breaking up wich always leaves him very depressed until he finds another young girlfriend.

Yesterday, me and my brother's were over at his house and he was going over one of his rants about how he doesn't know what he is doing wrong and he thinks he's just very unlucky. I suggested to him that he may want to find a girlfriend closer to his age so they can be at the same stage in life and their priorities and goals can be  more similar. This got him very uncomfortable and for the rest of the night he didn't say another word. I think I said what was best for him to hear. AITA ? ######

Response: NTA when he always says "whAt aM i doInG wRonG" then you can give a response ######


Prompt:
A few days ago, my SIL and brother had a kid. They wanted me and my mom to visit, (we social distanced and stayed outside). My mom brought a bag of presents and I bought one of those rattle toys.

My SIL was really mad because she felt like I didn’t get my nephew enough things, she also said the rattle looked cheap. My brother and I never got along and he stayed silent the whole time.

I’ve been saving for college and thought it was a nice thing to do but that was clearly not understood.

She never liked me and called me ‘child-hating’. She honestly really hurt me and I don’t think I’ll be visiting them again any time soon.

My mother also thought I was ‘way out of line’ for getting her something that wasn’t very expensive. We aren’t rich and just wanted to do a nice thing.

SIL said that it’s basic etiquette to bring nice things for a newborn and I clearly don’t understand that.

I’m starting to feel like shit, I don’t want the kid to grow up hating me because his parents don’t like me.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA what's " proper etiquette" is to say thank you for the things your given big, small, one or two not go on and on that what you gave isn't enough. r/choosingbeggars ######


Prompt:
Last year me (34m) and my wife (31f) visited her family in South Africa, as we live in the UK but try and her family visit annually. This time I took hundreds of photos with my new camera as where her family lives is beautiful, but i only had one micro sd card with me as my old camera took the bigger sd cards. So after a few days i needed another micro sd card, her mother give me a handful of micro sd cards that have been rattling in her kitchen draw for ages.

This years trip to see her family is cancelled due to Covid Virus, i thought it would be nice to go through all the photos from last years visit and put her family ones on are digital photo frame. One sd cards her mother had give me was full (24GB) of nude/sexual photos of my wife's mother with a few different men.

I wasn't sure what to do, i didn't tell my wife as i didn't think she would want to know/see her mother is that way. I messaged her mother to ask her if i should wipe the SD card or send it back to her. Her mother wanted the SD card back so popped it in the mail back to her mother.

Yesterday my wife found out from her mother's friend (how or why i don't know)and went nuts with me. My wife says i should have told her or just deleted them and said nothing. My defense is what if the photos although they were sexual met a lot to her mother or what if her mother was worried the photos might fall into the wrong hands.

AITA for not deleting the mother inlaw's nudes and not telling my wife i sent them back to her mother ? ######

Response: NTA What you did was respectful. If your wife would have been okay with not being told if you had deleted them, what is the difference with her not being told and you sending them back to her mother? Either way, you got rid of them and kept them secure. But her mother's friend seems likely to be an asshole, as I am having trouble thinking of a non-asshole way this was brought up with your wife. ######


Prompt:
So before the quarantine my grandma had declared that my mom (her only child) would get all the money and property and later could decide to split between me and my sister however she wanted. I’m fine with this. I don’t really care considering I figured inheritance should always go to the next in line.

Due to this quarantine, my mom says no one can go out. My grandma, mom and sister all live under the same roof. We all have our own rooms so no one talks to each other that much. My grandma recently had a falling out with my mom because my mom refuses to do any groceries and my grandma needs food. My grandma is a vegetarian and everything my mom has made or brought is non-veg. She also never gets her prescriptions refilled on time. My grandma has to have my moms friend deliver prescriptions. My mom recently had a different falling out with this friend so now he no longer delivers my grandmas prescriptions. During this whole thing I’ve been picking up the slack, paying for and picking up meds and food for my grandma and keeping her company overall.

A couple weeks ago my grandma had it. She decided that my mom wasn’t getting the whole will and that my mom had to split it with me since I am old enough(21) and since she thinks my mom hasn’t helped at all.  After hearing about this my mom is upset with me and my grandma saying I conspired with her and that my grandma is being unfair. She says because she lets her live with us, she does enough and since she pays for essentials she’s doing enough. Again I really don’t care about the inheritance but my grandma says it’s making a statement and I guess my mom did see that I was excited to be in the will. Aita for going along with my grandma? ######

Response:
 NTA What the hell, your mom isn’t feeding her or getting her meds *and* is offended she’s no longer the sole beneficiary? Entitled much?

You’re fine. Carry on. ######


Prompt:
My (f17) sister (f34) and her husband (m37) have been staying at my parents house for a couple of months, mom absolutely loves having my sister at her home she's given her and husband a very big welcome and cooked their favorite meals everyday.

While staying at home, feeling bored I decided to do a "makeover" and give myself an at-home haircut, Honestly, I've never touched my hair before, But not being able to go to the salon has made feel depressed.

My hair was shoulder-length, now it's short, pixie style, I'd say it was a seccuss, cause while we were all sitting having dinner, Everyone started complimenting my "new haircut" eccept for my brother in law (sister's husband),
And because of him being a sarcastic asshole who doesn't mind hurting people's feelings, he had a different opinion on my haircut, and said " Honestly, It could've been worse!".

"Excuse me, I DID NOT ask for your opinion, and everybody knows why".

BIL: Because I hate lying?, unlike everybody else?

Sister started motioning him to stop, but he wanted to escelate.

Dad: We didn't lie, we like it.

BIL : seriously, don't lie about where you got your haircut, you could ruin that person's career!

I was stunned, sis told him to shut up, but he continued to harras me, So I got off my chair and went upsatirs, about a few minutes later he knocked on my door, said he wanted to apologize, what a hypocrite, he lied, he didn't "want to apologize" my sister told him to.

He put on his "sorry face" apologized and told me my hair looks fantastic. And he sounded totally fake while saying that.
I pretended to be "okay" and before he walked out he turned around and said "piece of advice, Do not take a selfie showing your friends your new haircut, they'll envy you" and he sounded...God, I'm so offended, he was very sarcastic so I knew he ment to offend me once again, I know he's an asshole, But Am I overreacting? ######

Response: NTA what kind of person does that?!? Especially a 37 yr old man taking to a 17 yr old! I’m sure you look amazing. And if you’re happy with your haircut, that’s all that matters! I chopped all my hair off in high school once, too. Objectively I looked better with longer hair, but man I loved the ease and convenience and it was fun and funky. ######


Prompt:
I've had a sinus infection the last few days. Mild fever, congestion, light sensitivity, vomiting, etc. Told him I was going to bed early since I wasn't feeling well, 30 minutes later baby starts crying. "Damn, I don't want to get up." So, husband got up, picked up baby, and handed him to me and sat back down. I glared for about a minute, then got up and changed him, made a bottle (cursing rather profusely the entire time), fed him, burped him, put him back to bed and started crying. Husband asked what was wrong and I said that I felt he was no help and it just hurts when I'm not feeling well. He said he didn't know and "isn't a mind reader" and didn't see or hear me get up to change him and feed him and would have done it if I had asked.

Am I the asshole for feeling that he should be more observant and thoughtful? Or should I just constantly tell him what to do? ######

Response: NTA what kind of parent needs to be told to feed and change the babies diaper when baby is crying? ######


Prompt:
I am on a family vacation to my boyfriends hometown so that our baby can meet his side of the family. I have been doing most of the child care as my bf has been working, partying with his fam until 4 or 5 am, and sleeping in till noon when not working..he has been pretty out of sync with me and the baby this whole week and it has been a bit rough for me to be honest.

I love his family but they are big partiers and I am not ...especially now that I am an exhausted new mom.

Tonight I wasn't feeling well so I was still up at midnight and he came in to say that instead of partying just out front like normal (the family all have houses pretty close by) he was going to a party offsite because he wanted to be able to make more noise. I asked him to stay (vivid concerns about the other party but also because I dont want to be here alone).  He said everything would be fine and I shouldn't worry. He brought me the car keys in case I need to leave for any reason. He said he would be home in 2 hours but now it has been 4.

I keep hearing noises and feel un settled in the house. It is big and old and his family has been telling me all week how it is haunted. My baby has been waking up screaming a lot here but it didnt bother me as much until being left alone here.

AITA in asking him not to go and for being mad he went and now jas stayed out longer than promised? I  know partying and seeing his family is important to him, but due to work he gets out here for a weekend every month and parties regularly. He also parties a lot at home so it isn't like this is his only chance. ######

Response: NTA what does your partner actually bring to the table? It sounds like he is a useless parent and inconsiderate partner. This is not how parenthood is supposed to work. ######


Prompt:
So I (20F) am currently living with my boyfriend (21M). We’ve been together 7 months. He’s still working and I’ve been laid off so I’m at home all day.

I have been wanting short hair for a while, but I’ve been too nervous to. But with everything closed, I figured now is a good time. I’ve been debating back in forth but today I said screw it, I grabbed a pair of scissors and went into the bathroom before I could change my mind and gave myself a fairly “butch” cut. I’ve cut my own hair before - it’s not great but it’s not the worst homemade haircut.

I wasn’t expecting my boyfriend to be thrilled as it’s a big change. I didn’t call him ahead because I wanted to see his reaction. However, when he got home he absolutely flipped out. He asked what happened and I explained it to him. Started screaming at me for doing it without his permission, called me a selfish bitch, and said he didn’t think he wanted to be in a relationship with me anymore and left. I’d never seen him so angry.

I’m wondering if I was in the wrong here. I think he’s overreacting. It’s not a tattoo or anything, it isn’t permanent. He could have just said he didn’t like it and I could (consider) growing it back. Maybe I should have told him, but I know he isn’t a fan of the idea and I didn’t want to be dissuaded as I’ve been wanting to *try* short hair for a while. I think I should be able to at least experiment with my appearance.

So AITA? ######

Response: NTA what a psycho. ######


Prompt:
[Slyvy Bear](https://www.flickr.com/photos/69228620@N03/49777975553/in/dateposted-public/) is 16 and sadly it looks like she's nearing the end of her life.

She's struggling to put on any weight and has a bowel tumor. I'm heart broken. I bottle fed her. She's my girl. I'm not ok, I'm not sure I'll ever be ok once she's gone.

My husband wants to bury her at his parents house, with all his pets. I want to cremate her so I can always have her close to me.

Hubby says that's creepy but I don't care and told him that his opinion doesn't matter. He says that he doesn't want a dead pet in the house and I'm being a unreasonable bitch

AITA? ######

Response: NTA we keep dead relatives ashes why not our pets?? I wish I had my old dogs ashes (but it was waaaay too expensive then). You get your kitty cremated and if you want to be extra petty and creepy they make tiny urns for necklaces and bracelets. He thinks it weird to have her in the house wait until you wear her. I’m very sorry for your loss. The loss of a pet in indescribably heartbreaking. ######


Prompt:
I’m 17M and my step sister , Amber is 18F.

My mother has been with my stepdad for 9 years.

I usually spend two weeks of the month with my dad and Amanda usually spends every weekend with my stepdad.

I’ve never gotten along with Amber, we’re extremely different people, we usually avoid each other, when Amber wasn’t out she was in her bedroom moody, she’d throw it in my mothers face that she isn’t her mother and then cry like she was the victim.

Amber is pregnant and her mother doesn’t want her living with her anymore so Amber reached out to my mother and asked to live with us.

I can’t tolerate being around her let alone with a crying baby so I told my mother I’d be staying with my dad and visit the weekends if Amber moves in.

My mother is  extremely upset and my stepdad is accusing me of being immature and making her pick between Amber and me, he told me I’m being irrational and spoilt.

WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA wanting peace and quiet is normal and not wanting to be around your stepsister that is toxic, manipulative, brat is normal. They are making the choice not you to let her stay. Luckily for you have an option to live elsewhere. Take it and run. ######


Prompt: I (24f) am a night owl with ADHD. Everything I have succeeded at doing in life (my degree, working nightshifts, making a profit from my business) has been done when my body functions at it's best (at night). My mother (59f) and my sister (35F) have made it their new obsession to ensure I wake up at the same time as they do and will wake me up if I do not. I don't usually live at home, I live abroad but because of the unusual circumstances - I am at home. They regard my body clock as a character flaw and won't stop giving me unwanted advice that they've found on youtube on how I can change it. AITA ######

Response: NTA wake up tell them to screw off and go back to bed. ######


Prompt:
I (16F) am on my period, I get really horrible cramps and back pain when i’m on my period and medicine to relieve the pain doesn’t always help very much. So I like using a heating pad or something to help with the pain. Yesterday my cramps were very bad so I decided to take a hot bath because I only have one heating pad and it’s not big enough to heat my front and back at the same time. I was also having a lot of overall body cramps and thought a hot bath could help with that too.

A few months ago I got toxic shock syndrome from my tampon and had to be rushed to the hospital. It was pretty bad but luckily I ended up being completely fine.  But since then I’ve only been using pads, having tss was super painful and very scary, so I guess that experience has made a little bit weary of using tampons because I do not want to risk getting it again.

Anyways I took a bath to relive my achiness and cramps, didn’t have a tampon in so a little bit of blood would occasionally leak out into the water. Now my period is pretty light so it wasn’t a lot of blood just a little bit.

After my bath I rinsed our the run like I always do, and there was nothing left in it. My mom asked how if i had used a tampon for my bath (she was worried because she doesn’t want me to risk getting tss again) I said no. Then she got really grossed out and said it’s not ok to do that and the tub is gonna have blood all inside it now and that’s gross and I shouldn’t have done that.

Like I said I always rinse the tub out after I use it, and I told her I would be willing to use soap and actually clean the tub out if she wanted me too. She just got kinda upset and grossed out by it all.

So AITA for that? should I just not have taken a bath? ######

Response:
 NTA wait until your mom finds out your asshole was sitting in that water too. She’s going to freak!

Sorry your mom is crazy. ######


Prompt:
As you may have guessed, I’m a vegetarian. My parents always include vegetarian options for me when they have me over for dinner.

I’m having my parents over for dinner once quarantine is lifted and I told them I’d be making vegetable lasagna as the main course.

My dad wanted to have meat lasagna, but I told him I will never cook meat in my house. I never complain when my family eats it, but I don’t want to make it myself.

My dad said they’ve (my parents) have always catered to my vegetarianism and I’m selfish for not offering a meat option. I explained I wasn’t comfortable but he insists that I need to “grow up” and stop forcing my diet on others.

AITA here? ######

Response: NTA vegetarian food is suitable for meat-eaters; the reverse is not true. I'm sure he's eaten loads of vegetarian meals in the past and he can bring his own meat dish if he wants. He could bring ground pork to put on top of his lasagna. ######


Prompt:
Long story short, this man borrowed quite a lot of money, and disappeared. So I called his parents and they paid me by their own money (I SWEAR they said he gave them that) and now he’s asking me my bank account for paying it.
I seriously don’t know what to tell him now ######

Response:
 NTA unless you don't communicate now. Just be honest. You were put in a bad situation. Don't lend money to friends.

If I do, I either give it as a gift or exchange for some work like dog sitting. ######


Prompt:
My daughter (preteen age) loves this TV show (I’m going to be vague for anonymity) and I applied on a whim. We got invited on the show and did some fun competitions for an episode. We didn’t win but my daughter still talks about it all the time.

My daughters father is not very involved. He shows up with ridiculous presents every once in a while but we don’t hear from him unless I encourage my daughter to call him. If it weren’t for his child support check showing up once a month, I wouldn’t know if he was dead or alive. He and I don’t talk.

I didn’t tell him about the show. The way I see it is that I have full legal and physical custody of my daughter and I don’t need his permission for anything. However, he found out about the show from his father (my daughter told him) and called me yelling at me for taking her on the show and not asking for his consent. He accused me of exploiting her for fame and misusing his child support. I ended up hanging up on him because he wouldn’t stop yelling. Am I the asshole for taking her on the show without telling or asking him? ######

Response: NTA unless this show is exploitative somehow, it's hard to say without knowing what it is but assuming it's not trashy reality then it's probably fine. If he wants to make these decisions about his daughter then he should be in her life. ######


Prompt:
My ex and I broke up last year. We had a very good run and over the years his friends became my friends too. There is a photo on my Instagram of me, him and a friend of ours at one of our other friends' wedding. I think it's a very sweet photo that captured the the memory of that night, so I never deleted that one photo despite having all other photos of my ex removed. Today, my ex texted me asking me to delete said photo. I told him I'm still considering whether I will, as the photo involved another person and I like the time that it represents (i.e. when everything was alright and well).

I'm leaning more towards deleting to be nice, say 65:45. But if I refused to delete the photo, would that make me the asshole? ######

Response: NTA Unless the photo would be called a “Picture of him” and not a picture of you and your friends ######


Prompt:
I (M16) really don't like kids and they usually don't like me. I don't have any experience with them and I think in general it's better if I'm just not around them. I always make this clear.

My sister (F24) has two kids (F4 and M6). Yesterday she wanted to go do some activity with her friends so she stopped by my house (I was home alone) and asked if she could leave them. I said absolutely not because I had homework and didn't want to spend my afternoon taking care of two little kids. After some arguing back and forth she said that she was just leaving them, and I said I would in no way watch them besides making sure they didn't die.

She eventually just drove off because she was going to be late and left them there with me. I kept my promise and I did nothing with them. I just did what I wanted to while I watched them.

All I did was play video games and listen to some music (100 gecs) that happened to be fairly explicit. I thought that was that and eventually my sister came and got her kids.

However today I got an angry call from my sister. Apparently the kids have been repeating some of the explicit lines from the music I was listening to. My sister was pissed off and asked for an apology but I refused. She then talked to my parents and they've grounded me and told me I was an asshole to let kids listen to that kind of music. AITA? ######

Response: NTA Unless she was having an emergency, she should not have left them with you after you specifically told her you would not do anything but the bare minimum with them. (But hey at least they didn’t break an expensive clock so good job there!) You may be grounded for now but I doubt you’ll ever be asked to babysit again, so that’s a plus. ######


Prompt:
I've been running for a few years, but have had a bad time health-wise this year (not the C-thing). Because my fitness has declined further than I like, I've gone back to the beginning of a Couch To 5k programme to build myself back up, using an app on my phone to guide me.

A part of this is intervals, e.g. repeating a pattern of running and walking as prompted by audio cues from the app. Last week was 60 seconds of walking with 15 seconds of running.

Someone who was sharing the outside space with me seemed to think I could do better, and that I wanted his instruction/encouragement to get 'better'. He matched my pace and was telling me to "keep going" and "you can run longer than that".

I told him "thanks, but I'm doing c25k". Then the next time, "I'm doing intervals." After the third time I snapped and went "piss off and leave me alone already".

Apparently that made me an "ungrateful bitch" (which he yelled at me again today), but he at least fucked off. AITA for phrasing it the way I did? ######

Response: NTA ungrateful bitches unite! ######


Prompt:
I (26f) and my fiancé (27m) moved out of my father's house. Now to get context.

My father was not really a father to me growing up. He would mentally abuse me and sometimes verbally. We even got into fist fights.

My fiancé moved and my father tried playing "I'm a good guy". A week later, when the lockdown starte, he started showing his true colours. When my fiancé nor my dad could work, I begged for food parcels and so did my fiancé. My father refused to beg.

Then my fiancé found another job and began our search for a different place to stay. In the meantime, my father was also getting money in from asking friends and family but that money never went into the house. No food bought etc. My fiancé spent most of his money making sure we atleast have enough to eat till the next food parcel. My father was enjoying his chips and sweets.

We found a place and moved out immediately. I had also went and changed the address for the food parcels. My stepmom asked me if the food parcel is going to go to them and I said that dad needs to apply for the food parcel. They aren't happy with it.

AITA for changing the address to the food parcels? ######

Response: NTA too proud to beg himself but more than happy to use others to accomplish the same goals.  The parcels are for those who signed up. He didn't sign up.  He had a chance to but didn't because others were doing it for him ######


Prompt:
So I (28 F) have been with my bf (30 M) for over 8 years. Recently I’ve had Some problems with mental health issues and have been getting help for it. I’ve been keeping a diary to help me express what I’m feeling.

I’ve explicitly told my bf that it’s filled with private thoughts about myself and that I don’t want him reading it, and that if it’s about him, I’ll always come to him, but for now I just need a safe space to vent my thoughts.

It’s been about 7 months since I started writing in it and it’s help, but now I think he’s been reading.

Not only have I told him multiple times that’s it’s not his business as well as I’m entitled to some privacy, I’ve noticed that he’s been acting like he knows what I’ve written. For example

If I wright about how I don’t like how my legs look? He’ll start complimenting them the next day!

It’s been a few weeks and I’ve started to notice a pattern, but I didn’t want to outright say anything because

A. I’ve told him multiple times not to read my diary and
B. It may just actually be a coincidence

So to catch him in the act, I put in my diary that I was thinking of cheating on him, and I had a date that night at McDonald’s with some dude. Knowing my bf he would either confront me then and there or show up at the McDonald’s to confront me

I wanted to teach him a lesson not to read my things so when the time came, I told him I was going to McDonald’s.  He let me go and when I got there I put a sign I made on the table that said

“Caught you” and “why did you read my diary”

When he showed up to the McDonald’s to “confront me” he got pissed because I lied to him and made him think I was cheating.

I told him that he also lied by not admitting he read my dairy. He’s now pissed at me and I just want to know, AITA?

TLDR ; I tricked my bf into thinking I was cheating so I could prove he was reading my diary, then he got pissed at me when he fell for it. ######

Response: NTA to quote rihanna, he's only sorry he got caught (violating your privacy after you tried to set boundaries and express your needs multiple times). write in it that you're thinking of breaking up with him because of the disrespect and let him read that. ######


Prompt:
I live with my girlfriend at the moment but we’re hoping to move to a bigger apartment in the next couple of months.
Our rent is quite low and very affordable for me at the moment so it’s spilt 50:50 and I have no problems with that.
However, the places we’re looking at are a bit more expensive. She earns about double what I do so obviously has a bigger budget than me. I haven’t said anything yet but she’s been sending me links to places that are gorgeous but just totally out of my reach financially.
WIBTA for asking her to pay a portion of the rent that’s relative to her paycheck and I would pay a portion relative to mine? ######

Response:
 NTA to ask, if she says no, then you need to tell her you can't afford it.

INFO: Have you actually discussed budgets yet? Seems strange to be looking for an apartment together without knowing what the other can afford. ######


Prompt:
One of my son’s best friends has been coming to stay with us a lot since they became friends. My son loves sleepovers and I don’t have an issue with hosting (a lot of his friends can’t as they live in trailers).

This one boy, Jackson, is great. He’s a lovely kid, but his mom sends him over without pajamas and he sleeps in his birthday suit!!!! in our beds :/

I was fine with this on a one off basis, but he’s starting to come over more now and I don’t want him to set an example of my son.

WIbTa if I mentioned this to his mother. ######

Response: NTA to ask but if it’s an issue and the kid is as awesome as you say, buy him pj’s of his own and keep them for his use. Make as little fuss about it as possible so he won’t be embarrassed. I wouldn’t doubt that his mom doesn’t have any to provide. ######


Prompt: So I'm(15M) and I have 2 moms. I was adopted at 5 months old into a family with 2 older siblings and 2 moms it's my normal. I dont take lightly to homophobic people or people making fun of anyone for being gay. Well today I was playing video games with a couple of my friends. We were playing gta v and everything was fine. Until one of the guys made was trash talking someone and called them a f*got I told him that was out of line. He didnt respond for a bit and when I thought everything was over he said "you know I get it your parents are gay but you dont have to a be sensitive ass bitch online because of it no one likes a sjw." I said "I'm a sjw because I dont like using slurs??" He said "no but you shouldn't judge other people for using them and just keep to yourself." I said "no I'm going to call you on your bullshit when I fucking want to." He said "alright whatever you say p*ssy." At that point I was done and said "oh ok I'm a p*ssy I dont remember being the one who banned someone from my discord server for having a opposing opinion on something but oh no I'm the p*ssy. Are you forgetting about just a couple weeks ago you were dming me talking shit on alex for having a mental breakdown in the general text chat the other day and I tried to stay out of it." Another friend said "wow you cant just be exposing dms like that!" I said "no he fucking asked for it and I know the only reason you are defending him is because you want to be mod on the discord server you tell me all the time that if you get closer to him he will give you mod." Basically I ruined a friend group and had everyone turn on each other. ######

Response: NTA Time to find better friends bro ######


Prompt:
She has started doing this thing where when we order food she will tell me she doesn't want something I am getting, a milkshake for example. We get our food and then she'll ask for a bite. No problem. But it never is just one bite or even half of my food. She'll finish all of it. After this kept happening, I thought I could just order two of whatever I was getting and that would work. Wrong. If I order an extra for her after she tells me no she never eats it, so it goes to waste.

The same thing happens if I cook. I eat meat and she does not and has not for years, but she recently started wanting some of it and then would eat it all herself the same way she was doing with our takeout. If I ask her if she wants me to fix a portion for her, she says no because "she doesn't eat meat" and will even get upset at me for asking because I am "trying to get her to eat meat."

I do meal prep for myself, and the story is the same for that too. She eats the meals I have prepared for lunch.

This happens all the time now, at almost every meal. It never matters what I do or how I try to plan ahead because the result is always the same. I finally got so fed up with having to always find something else for myself and started refusing to give her any of my food. I told her if she wants her own then let me know and I will get it but otherwise she can't have any of mine. I tried to be reasonable and compromise, but she has given me no choice.

She thinks I am an ogre for refusing to share food with her since she is having my child and I need to support her, but all I am asking for is for her to stop taking all of my food after I have given her every chance to have her own! AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA though she is hopefully unintentionally so

Try and explain calmly to her why you don’t want to share anymore. That her sharing means you don’t actually get the food you’ve made or paid for. That you have absolutely no problem buying her or making her the food but when she shares you end up with very little of the meal ######


Prompt:
My wife is a klutz, and she completely misses things that are so blatantly obvious to me that it's driving me crazy. Things like leaving glasses of liquid within reach of our one-year-old who, assuming this isn't normal, is obsessed with getting into anything and everything she shouldn't get into. My wife leaves her $800 phone sitting on the couch and then complains for days when she can't find it after the baby stashed it somewhere. I am aware that she likely has adult onset ADD.

She frequently sets full cups of liquid on the center console on my car, only to act so surprised when it spills when I make a turn, or she gives non-sealed drinks to the baby in my car and can't understand why I expected her to anticipate the obvious outcome. This is a problem I've witnessed for eight years of knowing her, and I thought she'd outgrow it, but she hasn't.

Last weekend she decided to take my $1000 laptop, which I use for work, and let my niece have a zoom call with her preschool class. That's fine I guess, but it's the fact that she left it on a night stand where my one year old could reach it and push it onto the floor, snapping the power cord off inside, that bothers me. She walked away from an expensive item, knowing it was within reach of our destructive child, and does not think I am entitled to be as angry as I am at her. She blames everyone else, even my five-year-old niece somehow. Most of all she's now mad at me for yelling at her in front of my family (where we happened to be when I discovered it was broken.) I think I'm entitled to be mad because, as an adult, I expect her to anticipate things like this and prevent them from happening, but she never does. Am I the ass hole? ######

Response: NTA This sounds like it could be potentially harmful to your child. She should go to a doctor and get herself checked out. ######


Prompt: I chose to lock up with my family while my state is on lock down. Mistake. My stepfather is an ass. Man has never once said thank you in his life and will complain about everything and anything. He rides my ass 24/7 and makes me feel about 2 feet tall. Well I decided to make us a nice dinner. Stuffed boneless chicken, herb rice, baked potatos, all the fixens. The works. This man stood over my shoulder and cried and whined the entire time. He wanted cheese rice instead. Why wasn't I stacking the chicken in the stove. I was gonna overcook the chicken it needs to be 150 instead of 165 no one wants overcooked chicken. My potatos were "Wrong. Just wrong". He kept saying that. "Wrong. Just wrong. I cooked in the navy". Finally he kept snapping at me to pull up my "Sorces" on how to cook chicken and I snapped and pulled the tray out of the stove and told him to cook his own f*cking meal then I left and took a shower. I get that that was childish but like half the family has spent days locked in their room to avoid his crying needy whiny bullshit so I don't get why my family is mad at me. I am so sick of playing mommy to a 50 year old man. ######

Response: NTA this seems like a perfectly logical response to his shit ass attitude ######


Prompt:
My brother(single dad) and I live next to each other. He is still working outside of the home but I am not so his daughter has been hanging out with us while he’s gone. She is 13 so she can be home alone but obviously a 13yo home alone for 40+ hours a week isn’t the best idea.

Anyway, I have a 5 year old that recently got an easy bake oven that we struggled to use. She made a few “desserts” that didn’t turn out. We only had one packet of cake mix left and 13yo niece offered to help 5yo make it.

Suddenly I have a crying 5yo on my hands because she and Niece were  able to make the cake...and Niece ate the whole thing. 5yo didn’t get a single bite and now we have no more mixes left.

I thought it was very rude so I sent Niece home for the day. And told her she could come back tomorrow IF she apologizes to 5yo. She gave a half assed apology but defended her actions by saying she made it so she get a to eat it and went home.

Today she came back over and I told her that I wanted a real apology and for her to realize what she did was mean. She got huffy and went back home.

I get a text from my brother asking why Niece is home crying saying I banned her from ever coming back over. I explained the situation and he reponded “omg this is so petty, why are you manufacturing drama between kids?”

AITA? ######

Response: NTA this isn’t a sharing problem is a “my 13 yo niece just took advantage of a 5 yo and doesn’t feel bad about it” problem. It’s the 5 yo’s oven, the 5 yo’s mixes, and the 5 yo’s last chance to make a cake that comes out well and to experience that win after several failed attempts. Enter 13 yo who takes over the show, bakes the cake, and proceeds to eat the whole thing. Niece is a brat and her dad is defending her poor behavior. ######


Prompt:
I own a house and recently rented a room to an acquaintance, we’ll call them Sam. COVID happened, they lost their job, but I’m “essential”  so I’m still working, meaning they’re at home all day with my pets- 3 cats and a dog.

When Sam first considered moving in, I introduced them to all of the pets and said that you really have to be an animal lover to live with this gang. They’re all rescues and the dog is a 70 pound boxer/pit mix who has tons of energy and wants to be with people all the time. Not a dog you can just toss in the backyard and ignore. Sam assured me they love animals.

Since moving in, Sam has been super weird about the pets- slamming the door shut so the dog can’t greet them, shoving him away when he approaches, leaving him out in the backyard unsupervised, etc. This dog loves people, but Sam so openly dislikes him that I feel like I have to keep him in my bedroom with me whenever I’m home, so I’m no longer using 2/3s of my own house and the dog’s separation anxiety is through the roof. Sam is similarly weird with all of the cats except one, who they keep locking in their room so that the cat scratches up the carpet and meows until I let him out in the middle of the night.

Sam hasn’t been able to pay rent since moving in, which I was flexible about, given the circumstances. But they aren’t eligible for unemployment and haven’t been actively job hunting or picking up extra hours at their side hustle(they actually decreased their hours), so I don’t know how long it’ll be before they can pay rent again. They’re on a month-to-month lease, so I can end it whenever I want to with appropriate notice.

I don’t expect everyone to be an animal lover and I keep my dog under control when around people who don’t want him in their face, but I’m getting tired of feeling like the pets and I can’t relax in the house.

WIBTA If I end their lease after just a few months? ######

Response: NTA This is your home, and your pets. He has been disrespectful to the point of causing damage to your home and to the mental well being of your pets and yourself. It's just f'd up that you can't just come home happy and be comfortable with your pets. Let the guy go and give your fur babies extra love. ######


Prompt:
Okay so immediately that title makes me look like a total fucking douche, but let me elaborate.

My friend Charlie and I recently rekindled our friendship, among rekindling our entire high school friend group, after the group broke up and went no contact for roughly 8 months. The group consisted of about twenty people and went strong from Freshman year until just before Senior year, so about 3 years.

Anyway, while conversing with everyone one on one and rebuilding connections with different people, it comes up that one of my closest friends from those days, Charlie, has been voicing that I owe him $400 fucking dollars in GAS MONEY from the days when he’d drive me and other friends in his car, like sophomore year, so ya know, 2 years ago. He literally wants money for actions that he never asked money for. Not one time in our friendship or in our endeavors did he ever mention wanting gas money or any type of payment.

And it’s not like we were just using this dude for rides; for reference, Charlie and I used to have a system where every time we went out to eat, we’d take turns paying for each other’s meal. It was just a cool courtesy tradition thing, and neither of us thought much of it. Charlie was one of my best friends, but this is ridiculous.

If I genuinely felt I owed him $400, I’d pay him no question. But I do not believe I owe him a fucking dime. He offered to be the one behind the wheel all those times, despite other friends of ours also having cars and licenses. Frankly, this sounds like a cash grab for absolutely no reason.

And yes, he is completely dead serious and has voiced this directly to my face as well. He refuses to move forward until I pay him. He doesn’t want payment from the other friends he also drove around, literally just me.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA this is ridiculous and greedy and a few years too late. If he doesn’t want to move forward unless you pay up then dump and be glad that the trash took itself out. Good riddance. ######


Prompt:
Hi everyone.

I live in a small town in the southern US with my wife and two daughters (8 and 10). My wife and I own property on the same block we live on and we rent those properties out. I’ve been a landlord for over a decade and usually, it’s not a bad experience.

My wife and I receive unemployment and are therefore not relying on money from our tenants right now. We are not requiring them to pay rent for the time being, as long as they abide by rules set in place by our state’s governor. This is outlined in an e-doc they’ve all signed.

Our next door neighbors have been fucking abysmal. They have 15-20 people over all day, every day, grilling out and chasing their guests’ unleashed dogs down the block. It’s unsafe, unsanitary and it breaks the guidelines I set for waiving their lease. I’ve had two discussions with one of the tenants about this behavior and both times they apologized and said they’d follow the rules more closely. No luck.

Today my girls ran upstairs bawling their ever loving heads off. One of the neighbor’s friend’s big dogs had gotten into our yard again, and this time into my girls’ (newly built, with very fragile young sprouts) garden bed and trampled everything. My girls are going through enough right now and they have worked so hard on this thing. I just saw red.

I stormed over and I have to admit got *incredibly* testy with the tenant, saying “I’ve warned you twice. I’ll expect rent on the fifteenth or you can get the fuck out and be someone else’s headache.”

I came back home and my wife was asking what happened. I told her and she was appalled. She said I had every right to be angry, but it’s a garden, the plants will grow back. She said re-instating rent was a horrible thing to do and it seemed like it was more about power than controlling the situation with their behavior.

My wife is a pretty reasonable person, so I’m taking that pretty hard. Am I being a bastard? Give it to me straight. ######

Response: NTA this is not just about the garden, they're blatantly disrespecting rules set in place for their safety when you've been nice enough to let them live rent-free for the time being ######


Prompt:
So the last month and a half I've been lead to believe I had type 2 diabetes from my doctor and the clinic I go to. At first this confused me as I'm only in my twenties and active on account of my job. Also I only went because I needed to have a work related injury looked at and was confused when they told me I needed to have a blood test done. Which I'm not sure was needed since it was a wrist injury and nothing else seemed wrong.

Anyway they said I did have type 2 and they would begin me on pills and other things I need immediately. Never did I question them as I thought they had my well-being in mind. But weeks after starting the medication I didn't feel good and I knew it was medication they had me on.

So I scheduled an appointment with my doctor and told them I didn't feel well ever since starting my new medication. Instead of lowering my dosage they raised it and told me I may need to start on insulin shots if I didn't get better. This confused me and I decided instead of going to my regular clinic I would dip into my savings and go to a different one. Low and behold they told me I didn't have type 2 or anything wrong besides my wrist.

Learning this I confronted my doctor and was simply told that they made a simple mistake and luckily nothing went wrong. So I reported my doctor and my local clinic. However I found out later that alot of people who rely on said clinic can't afford to go anyhwere else. So now I'm wondering if I was wrong to report the doctor and clinic in the middle of a pandemic and causing people to lose their only source of medical care?

So AITA for reporting my doctor and clinic and basically causing people to lose their medical care? ######

Response: NTA this is malpractice giving you those meds could have killed you. How many other “mistakes” has he made. ######


Prompt:
Am I the asshole for running away from my house.

So I’m a 17 M who lived with his parents. So my parents are very overprotective. My mom has life 360, checks my phone always, takes my phone at night, strong curfew and stuff like that. At 17 my curfew is 10.
 So yesterday my girlfriend wanted to FaceTime me and talk. SHe is dealing with the loss of his mother from cancer and is having a very hard time dealing with it. We were talking for a very long time when I realized that it was 11 at night. I really did not care because I could tell that she was very upset and I want to comfort her. About and hour later my mom barges in and before I can even say anything she takes my phone and tells me I’m grounded.i tell her that I was talking to my girlfriend and trying to help her deal better. She says she does not care because I went over curfew and says I’m gonna get in even more trouble for talking back. I don’t know what happend but I just flipped. I yelled at her, I was just done. I took my phone and ran away from the house and ran it my girlfriend house. Now my mom is blasting my phone and saying she is coming to get me and I will never be let out of the house again.

Reddit Am I the asshole. ######

Response: NTA This is how so many people go No Contact with their parents. ######


Prompt:
I've been saving up in order to move out in order to escape my mother for my own sanity. While checking my online statements with my bank app I found out my mom has taken over $700 out of my account, not counting the 200 i loaned to her.

To say I was pissed is an understatement but I'm too afraid to confront her, so I just decided to move all my money into a new account without her knowledge.

Yesterday our dog got hurt and now she's limping, my mom took her to the vet and came home around thirty minutes later, demanding to know where all my money is.

I asked her what she was talking about and she started yelling at me, saying that 'you need to put the money back' and 'i need it in case of emergencies like this!' I tried telling her that if she needed money I would loan it to her and she just needed to ask but all I got back was 'You live under my roof, the least you can do is help me without me having to ask for it.'

My family is devided, they know cuz afterwards my mom called my relatives to complain about me, on if I'm an asshole or not for moving the money without my mother's knowledge.

AITA?

(Edit: I am currently 18 and work full time. I pay rent and part of our phone bill while having chores. I told her I'd pay for the dogs appointment but my mom is refusing until i put the money back) ######

Response: NTA this is financial abuse.  You are not your mother's atm or her emergency money fund, she is the parent not you. ######


Prompt: I just found out that my husband agreed to be written into his sister's will saying we will adopt her two daughters if anything happens to her and her husband. This has never been discussed. He works away all the time so it would actually be me looking after them. I know it's a 'hopefully it'll never happen' thing but still I feel I should have been consulted. And none of my OH family can understand why I'm pissed off about this. I want it removed but they say it'll never come to that anyway. AITA? ######

Response: NTA this is definitely something to be discussed before it's put into a legal document. ######


Prompt:
I (26M) am about to propose to my GF. We talked about it so she kinda expects it to happen. Still, I want to keep the surprise of when and where I would ask her.

The actual problem is that I am not really good with jewelry and style. Even in the past when I gifted some piece of clothing to her (for some bday for example), we always shopped together.

She always seems happy about it and I usually say that spending that time together is part of the gift and a treat to both of us.

Since an engagement ring would remain for life, I was thinking to propose using a "replacement ring" (for example a toy ring or a cheap one), which she can even hold on to as a memory, and ask her to buy the ring together in our first "fiancee" shopping.

I was thinking to say something along the lines of "Will you marry me? I want to be with you for the rest of our life. Starting this Saturday so I can get you the ring you deserve".

I was speaking with my sister yesterday and when I told her, she said I am TA because I am too lazy to get her an actual ring and if so don't know my GF tastes maybe I don't know her enough to marry her.  I was taken aback and left wondering... Am I TA if I follow my original plan? ######

Response: NTA this is actually pretty common especially since you know it’s important to you to have her involved in choosing the ring. ######


Prompt:
Me (M) and Gf have lived together for 3.5 years in a house her parents bought and we pay the mortgage for, with roommates and what not.
She got a dog when we moved in, and after some time, I did too.
I paid for my dog (W), but because i was expecting to be out of town now and again, she put W in her name, and never switched her into my name. W is my dog, no question. We have a bond, just like gf has with her dog. Hell, W barely listens to anyone but me. Shes my best friend.
Gf and i had a fight, and she kicked me out immidiately, knowing with the pandemic my only real option was a local motel.
She says shes not splitting the dogs up, which i think is mostly spite. Our dogs are amazing sisters. But I think that its not fair that 1. She gets two dogs and i get none, and 2. That W, who has more of a bond with me than anyone else, would be separated from me.

To add: I have bought most of the food for both dogs, and have put thousands into gf's dog when she needed to see the vet, and like i said, i was the one who actually paid for my dog. I get it was stupid to let her be put in gfs name.
No point of putting relationship stuff in here imo.

Edit:
I am willing to sign away any chance at recovering anything else from the relationship, vehicles, house stuff, etc.
Am currently in the process of finding my own place, I have no intention of making my dog crash in a motel or at friend's houses until i find a place.
Second edit:
My dog is very high energy and anxious. I take her on long runs (10km plus at times), and it has always been expected that i calm her down when anxious and what not. Any lawyers willing to pm me advice, hit me up lol. ######

Response: NTA This is a property issue. You could probably judge Judy your dog back, but it'll make a bunch more tension. That being said it doesn't sound like you're going to be spending much time with these folks. ######


Prompt:
Gday all

I’m 21, just turned 21 a week ago or something. I’m also Australian where being 21 means sweet fuck all, whereas I know in the US it’s a big deal. Over here when we turn 18 that’s like your 21. Anyway.

Despite being 21, my mother still likes to tell me when I get home from work (full time, 8-14 hour days, tradesman so manual labour) to go have a shower, she’ll still tell me to brush my hair, brush my teeth all that very basic stuff.

I’ve often said rather nicely she doesn’t need to tell me these things. I’m 21, I can manage my own life quite easily, and I will do these things at my own discretion at the times I please.

Last night she said it again, I had got out of the shower, got changed and was walking to my room, where my hairbrush lives. On the way there she said “go brush your hair”. Which was exactly what I was going to do anyway.

I considered this the last straw, I had a proper word with her about the fact that I’m 21 now, she NEEDS to stop this, and it’s no longer a joke. I NEED to be able to grow up myself, and she doesn’t need to continuously say for me to do very basic things like I’m 10 years old.

This resulted in a massive argument. I ended up walking away, I’m not one to argue if it’s going nowhere, and then I drove to a mates place.

Was I the asshole for finally putting my foot down and sternly saying what I thought needed to happen?

Cheers! ######

Response: NTA things probably won’t change a whole lot until you move out ######


Prompt:
I, f13, have a 29 year old step mom after my dad cheated on my bio mom and impregnated her. He cheated because of selfish and personal reasons involving me. They now have 5 kids together, Alyviya, who's 9, Madden and Maverick, 7, Alaiya, 5, and Maxx, 4. My mom also has remarried, but I get along with my step dad and his kid. Because of some messed up custody, I spend the school year with my dad and the summer with my mom. I mostly keep to myself, study, and just kinda drift along. My dad and his wife are fine with ignoring me, and it works out fine. They have their kids and their worries, and I'm not one of them.  Anyway,  a couple  nights ago they told me that dad's wife's cousin had passed away and that they would be leaving to a closeby state. I thought they were going that least take the older ones, but no. I have to take care of five kids under 10.  My dad hit me with the usual stupid crap about how they're my siblings and how I'm obliged to take care of them, with wife nodding stupidly along. Then, they just leave. No instructions or anything. I just gave them a refried dinner and let them watxh TV until about 9, told them to go to bed, ad that was it. They refused, of course. I gave up at one point.  At noon, I'm exhausted and I figured that they were just late or stuck in traffic. By 6, I was feeling murderous and checked their vacation. They're halfway across the country at a known vacation spot. I text them, and they just give a little lie and stop answering. When I threatened to call 911 for child neglect, they came back and refused to talk to me for "ruining their vacation." There were some choice words exchanged, and basically I told them I wanted to move to my mom's full time. So, reddit, AITA?

Sorry for format, on mobile

TL;DR - dad and stepmom left me with their five kids under ten because they said they  had to go to a funeral, when instead they were halfway across the country on vacation. ######

Response: NTA they’re neglecting you as well as your half siblings. You’re also not old enough to really be a long-term caretaker... ######


Prompt:
Myself (F, 25) and my husband (M, 29) have been discussing having children and I’ve recently gone off of birth control to start trying. I had a very traumatic childhood and do not want that for my children. I was raised mostly by my grandparents. My grandfather has since died but my grandmother is still alive. I reconnected with my mother over the last 10 years and we have a pretty good relationship at this time. My mother is currently living with my grandmother.

 My whole side of the family is very religious. Jehovah’s witnesses. They have decided to shun me ever since I left their religion. My brother left before me and they shun him as well. My mother seems to think once we do have a child things will be different and they will want my child in their lives, especially my grandmother. I told her that I have no intention of letting my child have a relationship with any of the family members who are shunning me. She seemed surprised and I think it upset her that I said that.

 I don’t want to teach my children that what my family is doing is okay. I don’t want to expose them to that religion and have them force fed information. I know if they have a relationship with my grandmother she will not respect any boundaries I put in place in regards to religion. I don’t know if my viewpoint is healthy or if I would be harming my children by not allowing them to have a relationship with my side of the family (other than my mother and brother). So WIBTA if I keep my future children away from their maternal side of the family because of how they treat me? ######

Response: NTA they’ll be your kids and it’s completely up to you how to raise them. On top of that, it’s a responsible decision to protect them from learning harmful behaviours like shunning family members without valid reasons. ######


Prompt:
I (19f) have cousins that all went to boarding school.

My family is very traditional, and have a long history of sending their children to boarding school. Most of my family members get sent to the UK, US and Canada age 8/9.

When I was young, I got very sick. After that, my parents had separation anxiety when it came to me so I got to attend normal day school.

Some of my cousins resent me though. It’s understandable, I got to live with my parents while they didn’t.

I had started getting pressure to attend boarding school from my cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles at 13 since I was old enough to ‘handle’ myself and I haven’t had any health scares.

My grandparents had want me to uphold the tradition, but I hadn’t wanted to leave my parents and go to a foreign country. They said that I could go to one in my home country, but I still wouldn’t have been able to see my parents as often.

I still get taunted for my refusal to go although I’m done with high school and am currently taking a gap year.

I was at my aunt’s house for a gathering and I heard my cousin say to another cousin how much of a coward I am since I ‘hid behind my mummy’s skirts’ my entire childhood. They then spoke about how spineless my parents are for not forcing me to go.

I come up to them and start arguing. They continue to say that I broke years of family tradition because I couldn’t cope without my parents as a teen when most of them left theirs at a far younger age.

I lost my temper then. I snap back “at least my parents loved me enough to want me around.”

Dead silence. I leave the room. None of my cousins have contacted me but my parents are asking me to apologise. ######

Response: NTA they were insulting you over and over like what did they expect you to do? ######


Prompt: This ones petty I know but my friend (17m) was sending selfies from girls we know to our group chat full of friends (also all 16-17m) last night. He screen shotted the selfies of these girls in make up and sent them to our group chat of about 15 of our guy friends and saying stuff like “which one is worse” and they look goofy and they shouldn’t have posted those photos and stuff like that. I called him out and said it was weird and gross for him to do that. Almost everyone in the group chat took his side saying that if they post it online publicly we are allowed to make fun of it. And that everyone sends photos of people calling clowning on them and it shouldn’t be different just because they are girls. I kept arguing that sending photos of girls you aren’t friends to a group chat of all your guy friends to clown on them was a gross thing to do. They didn’t really get it and just claimed I was white knighting and it wasn’t really a big deal. They told me I should drop it but it doesn’t really feel like a thing we should let slide. Am I overreacting and should I just drop it? ######

Response: NTA they were being jerks. Also, what if the conversation was shared somehow? How would those girls feel?! You did the right thing. ######