Prompt:
I work in the food industry, and today at my job something interesting happened.

A lady walked in with a little girl, and asked my boss in Spanish, “does anyone here speak Spanish?”. To which i respond in Spanish “yes i do, how can i help you?”

We get her order, she pays then leaves.

After she leaves, my boss comes up to me and says, “we don’t speak Spanish at ____(food industry name). The lady obviously spoke English if she came with her daughter who was born here. She was just being lazy. Even if she didn’t speak English, we could’ve figured something out, we don’t need to be speaking Spanish to our customers”.

And I’m just like “?” I’m respectful to authority so i just told him okay, it won’t happen again. During the moment i was so confused, like, i thought i was helping HIS customers.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but your boss sure is. ######


Prompt:
I \[30M\] live with two roommates - Kate \[32\] and Sean \[27\].

Sean is a genuinely sweet guy, but, uh, kind of lacking on the common sense department, to put it gently. The joke goes that he's secretly 5 years old \[we say that to his face, and he agrees with that statement\]. Until last July, he was juggling Acting school, waiting tables for money and then also got caught in some really obvious pyramid scheme.

How obvious? He has the diagram of the "company's model" hanging over his desk, and it's pyramid-shaped. The poor guy pays 100$ every month for "membership" in his "business", gets nothing in return and is still sticking with it. When he ran out of money, he got his parents to pay it for him. He also stopped going to auditions about a month after graduation, to focus on his "business". Both Kate and I tried to warn him gently multiple times, but Sean kept insisting we were "wrong about it" and "don't know anything". I've never seen him getting so defensive and angry about anything else. We eventually left it alone, though we kept rolling eyes about it whenever he was making "business calls", complained about not having money, etc.

Yesterday, when I got back from work, Sean was on the couch, doing a "business call" \[AKA trying to recruit people to his MLM\]. Afterward, he came to my room to chat, and started complaining about a seemingly "Why do random people keep adding me to random shady groups?". Without thinking, I replied "Maybe they're trying to recruit you to their own pyramid schemes".

Sean got furious, and started ranting about how he's "disappointed" with me not "fact-checking" \[I am familiar with that specific MLM...\], and for not "supporting him", and how he "expected better" of me and Kate. Afterwards he walked out of the apartment, in what I'm pretty sure was an attempt to actively avoid me.

I can't help but to feel terrible about that incidence, but also kind of irritated and annoyed. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, but you're going to get a lot of pushback from him. mlms target people who are in a vulnerable state of mind, and your roommate certainly fits the bill. he's going to be 30, he's not made it in acting yet and he's waiting tables. in swoops this mlm, promising him that with just a little elbow grease he can make something of himself. you're a good friend to try and get him to see sense, but don't expect him to appreciate it at the moment.

also, check out  [https://www.reddit.com/r/antiMLM/](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiMLM/)  for advice on dealing with someone sucked into an mlm. ######


Prompt:
A little context to explain why I chose not to tell him. My father (50) has a number of serious health problems, heart disease, kidney failure (currently on dialysis), he's had 2 strokes, diabetes, and anger issues. He also is a single father, my mother passed when I was 9, leaving him to raise my brother (currently 22M) and me (20F). My father is a pastor and very outspoken about his beliefs, he's homophobic, racist, and really the stereotypical white male.

I am currently in the military, so is my brother. A year before I left for bootcamp my brother, who had joined a year prior to that, video called my father and told him he had gotten tattoos. One on each shoulder of a dubstep band he likes. My dad was livid, angry, screaming, all sorts of horrible things were said and within a week he was in the hospital because of high blood pressure and what was a minor heart attack, all because he got mad at my brother for tattos he could easily cover with a shirt.
Shortly before I left for bootcamp I wanted to cut my really long hair to a pixie cut so it would be easier for me in boot camp. I asked my father and he became livid again and screamed at me, but eventually after fighting for months he let in and I got the chop, mainly because I told him if he didn't give me permission I'd do it myself.

Now, last October I went and got 4 tattoos on my left forearm and have yet to tell him. I see I may be the asshole, alot of people pointed out I should tell him because he's my father and deserves to know, people say I shouldn't be scared and hide my tattos from him and all of that sort of talk. I don't have an issue with being scared of him, I'm far from home and could care less about him being mad. But I choose not to tell him because of his health reasons, I'm his little girl and he hates tattoos, I couldn't live with myself if telling him I bought MYSELF pieces of art for MY BODY lead to him being in the hospital or possibly pushing him towards his death.

So, AITAH? ######

Response: NTA, but you shouldn't feel bad if he finds out, even if he does get sick it's not your fault. It's not healthy for you guys to have to hide parts of yourself. Your dad needs counseling, not subservient kids. ######


Prompt:
My childhood friend (Gary) is marrying his fiancee (Brittany) (also a friend) next year. He has asked me to be one of his groomsmen, and I excitedly accepted. I asked him if anyone else we both know is involved, and he said that another guy we know from school is a groomsman as well. He then went on to add that he wanted our mutual friend (Fred) to be a groomsman as well.

Turns out Brittany mentioned to the pastor at the church they want to get married in that Fred is a gay man, and the pastor refused to do the service if Fred is in the bridal party. So Gary and Brittany asked Fred not to be a groomsman, instead they want him to read a bible passage. To my understanding, Gary had already asked Fred to be a groomsman, and then went back on it after Brittany's conversation with the pastor.

I want to talk to Fred about this, because we're very close friends, and all of us have been friends since middle school. This could break up our entire group of friends.

I really want to support Fred, and I genuinely believe that the decision made by Brittany and Gary is despicable and unacceptable. I want to show Fred that I support him and that I won't accept people treating him like this. I want to show him solidarity. I also want to show Brittany and Gary that it's completely unacceptable to treat someone the way they treated Fred.

WIBTA if I refused to be part of their wedding because they sided with the homophobic pastor over our life-long friend? ######

Response: NTA, but you really need to know what Fred thinks of all this before anything else. ######


Prompt:
My (25M) wife (29F)  has always been against our daughter wearing clothes she deems too "adult" meaning crop tops and certain shorts and skirts (NOT  all shorts/skirts just the too short ones, unsually common for children's clothes)

My wife loves shopping for new clothes for our daughter, at this stage she has so many clothes and shoes that she has a whole  wardrobe and some under her bed, usually separated with "casual" clothes and "nice" clothes (all clothes that she outgrows end up being donated) - we've been meaning to get new summer clothes since she's outgrown hers but delivery isn't due for another month or two.

My mother decided to be wonderfully generous and get us some summer clothes, some nice dresses and skirts, but, there was a yellow off shoulder crop top in the mix.

My wife is adamant against letting our daughter wear it.

I texted my mother saying we appreciated a majority of the clothes but unfortunately we found the crop top a little unsuitable so we would give it back if she could return it and if she couldn't maybe donate it, I'm sure itll be useful for somebody else.

According to her I'm an AH for letting my wife "dictate" what our daughter wears and that we are being over the top so our daughter will lash out and basically judging her for getting that (calling her a bad grandma)

AITA?

We told her to see if she could return it. ######

Response: NTA, but you probably shouldn’t have told your mom anything other than, “Thank you”. I had a boy and, before and after he was born, people constantly bought him overalls. In my brain I’m like “he’s not a farmer”, but out of my mouth was , “thank you”. ######


Prompt:
AITA (F 26) for asking my husband (M 26) to contribute more to our savings?

He pays most of our bills, excluding some household finances and my debts (student loans, credit card, and my car). I pay for most groceries, our furniture that we financed, and the pet bills (disabled dog).

He makes roughly $4800 a month. I make $1800. I contribute about $600 a month to the savings because he pays for most of the bills. The past few months, he has taken from our savings to party with friends (one got out of the military) and he said he would replace it. He’s taken out $400 and not put anything in since February.
I asked him if he could contribute anything to our savings this month and he said no. He told me that after bills, he only gets $800 in disposable income and that’s not a lot for him. He’s now mad at me because I told him it feels one sided lately and that I feel like I’m the only one contributing and trying to save. Keep in mind, almost all my disposable income goes to our savings. AITA for getting upset?

Edit: we each pay bills according to our income. Half of his income and half of mine go to bills. Realistically, he should have more than $800 a month in disposable income. But that’s the number he likes to bring up. ######

Response:
 NTA, but you need to talk about your finances.

Nobody likes to spend their whole income on bills, you both have your right to spend money on whatever you like, no matter how much you make. You just have to make it clear between both of you how your money is going to be distributed. ######


Prompt:
Sister: sis
Brothers-in-law: bil
Me

I am renting a room in their home and am paying the agreed amount of rent on time. Some info about my sis and bil. They recently had a baby and have another on the way. They are in financial problems because they are constantly updating the house. New flooring, new granite counters, added an addition, etc. additionally, they owe a ton of money to their credit card companies because they are huge spenders.

Now they need more money and are pressuring me to pay them more than the agreed amount. They can barely pay their mortgage and sometimes pay it late. Also they have been eating my food, using my supplies (toilet paper, soap,etc), I help with my niece and cleaning.

on top of everything I have been watching my niece for free for hours. We are all in the medical field. So 12 hour shifts, 3-5 days a week depending on the OT available. So when I watch my niece, I am watching her for 12+ hours, 3 days a week. I haven’t mentioned payment becuase we are family.

But now we are regularly fighting due to Covid workload stress and me being upset about my prepped food being taken. I’m trying to be supportive becuase they are my family but I feel unsafe whenever they threaten to evict me. I don’t have a back up plan right now.

So we are all stressed out for various reasons. AITA for fighting with them at all? Should I be more supportive during this unprecedented time? I feel like I am being taken advantage of here. ######

Response:
 NTA, but you need to find somewhere else to live asap because this probably isn't a situation that's going to get better. you can try having a conversation with them about your feelings, but honestly if i were you, i'd be making other living arrangements. this doesn't sound healthy and it's not good for you to constantly be afraid of eviction when you are doing more than your part.

also, consider getting a minifridge and storing your meal prep there. ######


Prompt:
I guess this is a pet peeve more than anything else, but in my family we always asked if someone wants the last piece of cake, slice of pizza, whatever. That was just the norm for me (and tbh i thought it was like this for everyone, but I guess not my bf). My boyfriend tends to naturally eat more and eat quicker than I do, so I often find myself looking for another pizza slice only to realize he's already eaten the rest of the pie. I've asked him to check with me before he does that and I've reminded him before to not finish everything off cause sometimes I'm still hungry, but he either forgets or doesn't care and often still eats everything. I think he just zones out when he's eating and forgets to double check, but it's seriously getting on my nerves lately.

So now I've just been taking more food than I usually eat, like 3 or 4 pizza slices instead of my normal 2. This way if I DO end up being hungry I actually have food to eat, and if I don't want it I can just put it back. We share food all the time and neither of us are germaphobes or anything. He's been getting annoyed by this and saying I'm being "extra" and he'll just remember to not eat it all, except he's already shown that he can't. Now basically if he wants that 6th slice of pizza, he has to wait until I'm done with my 2 and wait for me to decide if I want a 3rd/4th or not. If I don't then I'll give it to him. This doesn't only occur with pizza btw, but just an example lol. Please also note he's not still hungry or anything, like he's mostly full but just wants some more cause it tastes good or whatever. Anyway AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, but you might want to consider getting more food if one or the other of you regularly seems to still be hungry afterwards.

You could also try, if he takes the rest without saying anything and you end up still hungry, ask him to go get/make you more food since he took what was left without considering your needs. ######


Prompt:
Hello, throwaway because I don't like to post.

I (21M) recently moved in with my girlfriend (21F), her friend (22F) and her gay friend (22M), while we are looking for a house, was supposed to be temporary, about 3-4 months. It has been three weeks of her gay friend making sexual comments about everything he finds a joke in.

I'll die in a video game and sign "fuck me". Every. Single. Time. he makes sure I hear him say "I'll be in the bedroom", "maybe later", "top or bottom",  etc...
I was working on Excel for my job and my girlfriend asked if I wanted to come get lunch, but I was busy and said "I'm pretty deep in a project right now". He yelled "deeper, daddy". From his bedroom.

I couldn't stand it, but bit my tongue because my girlfriend likes him and he never touched me. But Saturday night we stayed in and had a few drinks watching Netflix. Her gay friend came back around midnight and opened her door while we're cuddling to talk to her. He brings up how he loves "daddies" and knew he was going to say something, he always calls me daddy. "This skinny guy wanted to call him daddy, but he just doesn't have the look. [My name] has the daddy look, I'd call him daddy."

And I couldn't take it anymore. I told him "you're the type of gay people that everybody hates, shut the fuc* up".

He instantly started crying and my girlfriend is furious with me. She knows I hate it and she brushes it off everytime. I told her that you would never let me make those kinds of comments towards her female friend. She says that's different because we're both straight, which I think is absolutely irrelevant.

I can definitely see that I went too far with my comment and might wana apologize for going too far. But they all think I'm being homophobic and should remember that I'm a guest.
I just don't think it is too much to ask to not make sexual comments towards me.

AITA for yelling at my girlfriend's gay friend? ######

Response: NTA, but you could have handled it better. You are BOTH owed an apology from each other. Hopefully it will end with him learning to have more respect. Not everyone is cool with those little games, it’s disrespectful. & OP, watch out for your girlfriend. If she didn’t stand up for you then, she’s likely pretty weak minded so don’t expect anything different going forward. She should have talked to her friend a long time ago when you first told her it made you uncomfortable. ######


Prompt:
My adult daughter (25) lives at home and works full time.  She flunked out of community college twice.  She makes decent money, but instead of working on getting her own place, she has bought an expensive (relatively) car, gets acrylic nails done regularly, has her eyebrows threaded, and just bought an Apple Watch.  She has no savings, and no plans to move out.  I have three teenagers as well, and an older daughter who lives across the country.

AITA for being so irritated every time she buys something extra or unnecessary? ######

Response: NTA, but you are enabling her so you are to blame for this behavior ######


Prompt:
Sorry if the title makes no sense, but I’ll do my best to explain it.

So basically, my friends dad always comments on things in my life but makes it like things only happen to me because I’m gay. Here’s an example: I’m studying law, her dad said that I’m studying law because “gay people like fucking bad boys” - meaning I only want to be a lawyer so I can have sex with clients. I currently have a cold sore, he said it's because I'm always sucking dick. If he finds out I'm reading a book, he'll tell her that it's "probably a gay porno mag". It's stupid stuff like that.

But it really annoys me. At first, it didn't, but then it didn't stop. I also don't know why my friend tells him this stuff - like me reading a book isn't something worth telling your family about. She's told me that "he's not homophobic, he just doesn't like seeing it." (I know that's an assholish thing to say, that's not what I want to know).

In retaliation, I've ended up saying stuff back like "your dad is just sad that I didn't represent him when he was in trouble with the law," "I got the cold sore from him, he should probably get an STI check," or like "I thought I recognised your dad on the cover of the magazine?". He doesn't find it funny, and he calls me a dick head, or a "poof". My friend also knows I don't like people commenting on my sexuality, or people talking about me when I'm not there.

AITA for flipping his comments to make him sound gay too? ######

Response: NTA, but why are you still friends with this person? like, it seems as though they're telling you the hurtful things their dad said for fun or to rile you up. ######


Prompt: I have 6 sisters and they always want to group text. 3 are nurses and we have a niece who is a EMT so they are constantly texting about medical stuff. They share pictures that are gruesome. When they aren't doing that it's gossip about their high school classmates. My sisters graduated when I was in elementary school. I do not know their classmates. I have been asking since 2014 to please keep me out of unimportant group messages. At first it was because my phone bill was increasing because they wouldn't stop, so I had to get unlimited data and text. Then I asked because the medical stuff was just gross to me. They laughed and said no and too bad. Finally one day after over 100 random texts I sent a message telling them to get me out of it because I don't care about useless drama and medical stuff, I said if it's important please tell me otherwise idc. Well last week my nephew had brain surgery and my sister didn't tell me because I don't want group texts. I told them that anything involving my nieces and nephews are important but I guess if I don't want an endless stream of group texts I don't deserve to be told about things at all. ######

Response:
 NTA, but they are. Cutting you out of family events because you have a different texting style? Are they even family if they care so little about you? I would have left every group chat without explanation years ago, and tore them a new one for being so fucking petty.

Onviously their gossip means more to them than you. ######


Prompt:
My dad passed away last year on my birthday, I was very close with him and am still getting through this loss. I had told my husband and family that the only thing I want for my birthday this year is to just be left alone and mourn if I need to or to relax and have some time to myself. I don’t want to fake being happy and social that day.

My brother in law and his wife are having their second child in early June and live about 1,700 miles away. My husband and his parents now want to go visit my bil the first week of July (which is when my birthday is) if all of the travel bans are lifted and if Coronavirus seems to be less of a threat.

I said I would prefer if we waited for the week after my birthday to go, or if they can’t wait, that I’m fine if they go without me and I can go at a later time. My in laws think I’m being unreasonable and that I should just push aside how I’m feeling. Also that I should use seeing the new baby and being social as a distraction to my sadness to “get over it faster.” AITA for not wanting to follow along with their travel plans? ######

Response: NTA, but they are for not allowing you to grieve. ######


Prompt:
Long story short, this man borrowed quite a lot of money, and disappeared. So I called his parents and they paid me by their own money (I SWEAR they said he gave them that) and now he’s asking me my bank account for paying it.
I seriously don’t know what to tell him now ######

Response:
 NTA, but there seems to be some communication problems between them and the situation is clearly delicate.

Give him the ~~bank account~~  deposit information, receive his money and send it to their parents with a thank you note.

Also, you should probably talk to someone about planning on doing that via text before sending him the ~~account number~~  information he needs to send you the money. That way you have proof of your good intentions, just in case this is some kind of elaborate ruse to test your honesty and they are all just waiting for you to give the account  number to call you a thief.

EDIT: Some commenters here called my attention to the fact that "give him the bank account" might be terrible advice, allowing for a myriad of scams. I thought it was standard everywhere to have one or two numbers that allow only for deposits and similar operations - this is how it works in Brazil and telling people those numbers is a common practice, generally regarded as safe (theoretically, a would be scammer couldn't do anything with them except giving you money). I realize this may not be clear from the way I worded my comment and I apologize for that. Neither OP nor anyone should share sensitive information that could lead to losing money or being scammed. ######


Prompt:
 I'm 21f and I'm married to my beautiful wife in December. We been together since eighth grade and engaged. In the end of November, she got diagnosed with cancer and her job's health insurance wasn't the best. The company I work for has better health insurance. The only way I can get her on my health insurance if I married her. So we went to the courthouse and got married. We decided to still act engaged and planning a wedding in December since we both love winter wonderland theme.

 Someone in my family found out and posted on social media. Everyone is mad and stressing out my wife who is on chemotherapy. I told everyone the reason and please stop stressing out my wife.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA, but the person who posted it on Facebook is. This is one of the first aita posts that has made me genuinely upset. They obviously know your wife is sick and they still decided to go ahead and cause drama. Also all the people who are mad are assholes too if y’all were clearly planning a wedding, and if they were smart, they should know you probably eloped for an important reason (it’s not really a new concept). Even then why does your marriage matter that much to them? It’s you and your wifes wedding not anyone else’s. If I were in that situation I would not invite the person who posted it on Facebook and maybe not even the people who contacted you angrily (unless of course they apologized to my sick fiancé). ######


Prompt:
So, I (22f) love to sleep. My mom is working from home and spends most of her time in the kitchen. I wouldn’t call myself a night owl per sé, but I would say that no matter how late I stay up, I can end up sleeping until pretty late in the morning. My mom doesn’t like this. She usually doesn’t like when people are asleep while she is awake. This was a quality that partly led her to divorce my dad since he worked night shifts and slept during the day.

When she started getting up at 4:30 every morning, she decided to let go on getting everyone else up since that was an unreasonable time for me and my stepdad for obvious reasons. That being said, if I’m not awake by 9:30 am, she often comes in my room to vacuum, go through my closet to find laundry, start conversations, open my windows (she also doesn’t like knowing that someone’s curtains are closed when it’s daytime), and try to get me out of bed when I’m nowhere near awake. Her claim is if I don’t want her to do that, then I should be going to bed at the same time as her every night (8:30pm) that way I don’t feel tired in the mornings or sleep in.

About ten years ago, locks were installed on all of the doors in the house when my stepbrother stole the household phones and cell phones to get back at us for not sharing our phones when he broke his out of anger. After he moved out, I was told that if my door was locked for any reason other than to get dressed, the door would be taken off it’s hinges. I was 13 at the time and haven’t been told anything different since it was a fire hazard when my moms room was on the opposite side of the house. Renovations have happened since and that is no longer the case.

I want to start locking my door to keep my mom out of my room while I’m asleep, and I’ll get up when I want to get up. But if I do, I’m worried I’ll lose privacy since I’m technically still under her roof.
Reddit, WIBTA if I started locking my door? ######

Response: NTA, but the lock is not the issue. Your parent having zero respect for your privacy and personal space is the issue. Sit down with her and make it clear you expect a closed door to be respected, and if they do actually take the door off its hinges - move out. Hell no. ######


Prompt:
I should give a little backstory here: growing up, my parents were extremely wealthy. I watched my dad blow his money on a mansion, sports cars, and unnecessary purchases he made to show off his wealth. He owned a very successful and stable business, but decided to gamble it all away when he sold the company to start a new one that completely failed. We lost everything.
We moved out of the mansion and for the rest of my childhood and adolescence, we were so poor that we barely had money for food. I got made fun of in school for having old clothes that didn't fit me. My parents still would have cleaning people come over and clean our house and I would watch them pay them in cash as I sat there hungry. They did everything they could to keep up with their appearances while neglecting my needs.
Now on to today, their financial situation has improved thankfully, and I make a significant amount of money: more than they are making. My dad keeps making comments about how he is so glad I'll be able to take care of them now financially as I don't  think they have anything setup for retirement. They keep making frivolous purchases and are still being irresponsible with their money. I have a lot of financial goals I want to achieve and I have not factored in paying for their living expenses in their old age. I am bitter that they blew all of their money and the money that they did have, they did not use to take care of me growing up. I have worked hard for my wealth and I do not feel as though they deserve a significant share of it. AITA for not planning to support them? ######

Response: Nta, but tell them now not to plan on you as their nest egg. ######


Prompt:
Just some important info before i start:
My mom is 42
Im a 19yo, high school graduate, with extra credits and a full time job.
My little sister is 12

Okay so WIBTA if i told my mom to fuck off about constantly bringing up university?

My entire life my mom has always had
something to say about my schooling. While i was in highschool i was depressed and in an abusive relationship and even tho i might not have graduated with FANTASTIC grades, i didnt fail any classes and even graduated with extra credits.

School has never been for me, i have bad ADHD and im a horrible procrastinator when it comes to homework. So ive been very open with that with both my parents because i dont want to waste the money when i already have a full time job with good pay that i love.

So a few weeks ago we were sitting in the living room with my little sister and i made a joke about being smart and getting money (dont remember the joke specifically) and my mom decided to chime in and say "just dont be stupid like your sister and go to school and get a good job". I wanted nothing more than to lose it on her and it still hasnt stopped. She brings it up ALL the time even though she knows im happy and content with where my life is now ######

Response:
 NTA, but tell her to *back* off, not to f*** off. You still live at home.

As someone that spends a lot of time with teachers, the #1 complaint I hear is about parents that refuse to accept and support the realities of their children’s futures. Most of the kids I know that went straight to work are making a ton more than the ones that went to school, got a degree, got screwed in this economy, got laid off, and are living with their parents shoulder-deep in debt.

Also, high school procrastinators are *not* built for university. You know your strengths. Just make sure you can put your money where your mouth is. Mom’s a dick for that comment so go get a job, work hard, move out, get your life on, and prove her wrong. ######


Prompt:
I logged my mom's Netflix account on my dad's house (they're divorced) so that me and my brother could watch a movie.

Today I went to the living room and my dad's friends were watching Netflix in my mom's profile and didn't stop even after a told them that.

I called my mom and told her what was going on and she told me we should change the password and since she doesn't know how to do it, I did it.

Obviously after that the series my dad's friends were watching stopped working and asked for the new password, they started asking me what was going on and I pertended I didn't know.

They called my dad and he told me to call my mom (I didn't because I had just talked to her).

Now they are all bummed out about it and I feel kinda bad AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but remember to sign out next time. ######


Prompt:
We had online exams 2 weeks ago. There was this particular exam where 2/3 of the students cheated. This weeks the results were given. Out of those 2/3 maybe 7/8 got a zero on the exam for plagiarism.  They  claim that they didn't, and that they know all the topics.
The only option would be remaking the exam.
The problem starts here. I did not cheat, and had a hard time in the exam. Nevertheless, I got a 93. As I hate cheaters, I would like to expose them to the professor. As he have a group chat for the generation, I have taken many screenshots of thwm sending and copying others, aa well as their plans to excuse themselves from this.
So, WIBTA if I send them to the prof? ######

Response: NTA, but prepare for the consequences if they figure out who snitched.  I take it this is college?  They are paying good money to not learn anything. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account. My 14yr old sister still uses a pacifier nightly. My mother has never taken it away from her. When my sister was in kindergarten my mom asked her uncle who “was a doctor” when will she get rid of it, because apparently my mom could not be bothered with that task, and he told her that she will grow out of it on her own. To this day my mom says “he lied to me” to place blame.
I am in my thirties and do not live with them. I have a very close relationship with my sister but she will not listen to me when I talk about how it needs to go. I do not believe it to be my sisters fault, i think it’s my moms fault for not doing it herself. I asked my mom about it A couple times and she just says it was too difficult listening to my sister cry. Which I call bs on.
 I only want what’s best for my sister as she already has had consequences from using it for so long. I don’t mean to pressure her so much but I just cannot for the life of me figure out why my mom thinks this is ok. My sister understands the issue but I think at this point the only way she will let it go is if someone takes it away.
So, AITA or is my mom TA? Do you have any advice on this? My mom won’t do anything in regards to getting rid of it and I cannot convince her.

EDIT: she is going to need braces now because of this, it has created a gap longwise in her mouth. Also, the pacifier does not get changed regularly. My sister does wash it regularly than goodness but has probably had her current one for a few years.

EDIT: my sister and I are best friends. I would do absolutely anything for that kid. We have the exact same sense of humor and can talk about anything. I am never pressuring her rudely. ######

Response:
 NTA, but only because sucking on a pacifier can be incredibly damaging to teeth, it can effect the way the roof of the mouth forms also.   As she gets older the sucking motion will cause premature wrinkling around her mouth common in people who smoke, as well as people who use straws constantly.  This is truly your mothers doing.

The fact that your sister still uses one could be a concerning sign of emotional attachment issues. ######


Prompt:
Title says most of it. I will preface and say that I am angry typing right now.

So I have today off work. One glorious day. I am 18 weeks pregnant, so my body is already starting to hurt, but I am a nurse- so my feet are pounding from 16 hour shifts.

I usually get up at 345 to get ready to be at work by 430. I leave the house quietly, after packing lunch for husband +2 kids, making sure everything is in order, and feeding/letting dogs out. I’ve always been the person who sees the sun and thinks “oh hey- time to get up!” Sometimes I can fall back asleep, but it’s rare.

So husbands alarms start going off at 5a. Automatically, I’m up. He lets the dogs out, and gets back in bed. Alarms continue to go off. I swear this man can sleep through anything. But please- tell me why the fuck your alarms are set at 5 when you don’t have to be at work until 10, and you don’t even work today?! Most days he doesn’t even think about getting up until around 8.

I asked him to please let the dogs in so that I could sleep a little longer. Kids are still asleep, no worry there. Just please let the dogs in so that they’ll stop barking at the neighbors rooster. Didn’t ask him to feed them, nothing.

And that’s when I go hit with “why are you so lazy in the morning? Some of us want to sleep too!!”

Now I’m wondering if I truly am TA, because I wanted to sleep a little. Or if he’s TA who refuses to get his ass up and help out a little. ######

Response:
 NTA, but no offence, OP, but your husband sucks. You wake up, pregnant, at 3:45 and make ~~breakfast~~ lunch for him and the kids. Why can’t he do this himself since you say he wakes at eight in the morning? Does he work late into the night or something?

And the fact that he had the audacity to say “why are you so lazy” when you have a single day off is outrageous. ######


Prompt: So this semester i got straight A’s and my family was proud of me and told me I could pick dinner saturday. My mother and father said i could pick anything I want and that it doesn’t matter. But you see they’ve said this to me before and then always complain about my decisions. For example, on my birthday they let me pick dinner and I wanted to try Steak and Shake do I picked there. The entire time we ate my mother and father said things like: “the fries are so small and thin, why did you pick here” “my shake isn’t milky enough, you shouldn’t have picked here” “why did you pick that burger” “this place sucks”. I didn’t respond to anything they said about it though, i just happily ate my burgers fries and shake. The next year I learned and picked a place that’s one of their favorites. Anyway, so this time after telling me I could pick dinner, I asked if we could order from a sushi place and they straight up said no and told me how I was stupid for wanting to pick it. Then the day of, my mother comes to me and said since it’s going to be father’s day we are just going to get this certain steak joint. The place is good and I like it but it wasn’t what i was going to choose. I gave my mother a confused look and just said “oh okay, well then why did you tell me i could choose dinner?” Now for the past 20 minutes she’s been very passive aggressive and telling me how I was rude. We are getting that steak joint so I don’t understand why she is mad? Was I the asshole for saying that? ######

Response:
 NTA, but next time ask if instead of choosing the family dinner  you could have money to take a friend to dinner or lunch at a place of your choice.  it sounds like your choices are less expensive than theirs, and that they don't enjoy your choices anyway.

It is not really a treat for you to get to choose if they then complain to you about your choice!

Enjoy dinner with your dad though! ######


Prompt: I’m 5 weeks pregnant. I found out 2 weeks ago, and specifically told my mom not to tell people because a lot of things can happen in the first trimester. Tonight, she suggested i tell my great grandfather. I was on the fence about it and told her to give me a little to think about it. She decided to go ahead and tell him anyway, taking that moment from me where i can tell my Opa he’s gonna have another grand baby. I got upset and she called me selfish and said since it’s her grand child she can tell whoever she wants. I told her it’s MY child and i should be able to tell people when I feel the time is right. AITA??? ######

Response: NTA, but make sure you learn this important lesson right now.   Let this be the last bit of information you share with her before sharing with social media. ######


Prompt:
I lost a lot of weight (over 100lbs) in a short period of time, I understand it can take some getting used to, but I'm very tired of the comments.

I am a 24 year old guy, this kind of shit doesn't usually bother me but I can't seem to go a single day at work without some comment about my weight loss. It's been non stop since we reopened after lockdown.

Here are some of the rumours about me: I have cancer, I have aids, I'm on drugs.

I'm tired of it. Yes I'm quite skinny now, but no one was "concerned" about me when I was fat! It's all fake, they don't actually care, it's just gossip to them. There are plenty other people at work that are my weight or thinner, and no one cares!

A couple of coworkers seem legitimately concerned, but they were more polite. Even then I still get annoyed because my weight is quite frankly nobody's business but mine. People will bring me food from the vending machines and stare at me when I eat and it makes me nervous. I'm on a strict diet because obviously I have to MAINTAIN my weight loss, I can't just eat chocolate bars.

Yesterday one of the more gossipy ones, an older lady in her 50s, approached me in front of everyone telling me she was concerned I wasn't healthy and I wasn't able to do my job.

I'm perfectly able to do my job. I angrily told her it was none of her business and that if there were issues with how I was doing the job someone higher up would tell me. She then asked me straight up if I was using drugs. I yelled at her "I'm not on drugs and I don't have cancer either. Is a fat person losing weight really this shocking to you?" I then I turned to everyone watching and said if they make one more comment I'm going to HR.

Since then people have been kind of avoiding me and I wonder if I dealt with it too harshly. My only friend left at work said that people felt a bit uneasy around me and they thought I was overly aggressive.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but looking at your post history, I’d get some professional help. ######


Prompt:
I’ll keep this short.

So my sister and BIL are having a baby. She’s 4 months along.

My sister has BPD and she’s been getting serious mood swings but still absolutely refuses to see any doctor/therapist about it. I’ve known my BIL for years (since college) and he’s told me recently how tough things have gotten with my sister.

The breaking point came last week when BIL texted me saying sister has started to throw things at him. He said he came home with take out but got the wrong sauce or side or whatever, next thing he knew she was flinging silverware at him. When he tried to leave she grabbed a heavy bowl threw it at his face (it missed but still).

I immediately offered a place for him to get away. He took me up on the offer and stayed for 1 night while we tried to get my sister professional help again. She made a surprising 180 over the next day after BIL left and started calling all our relatives/family saying I’m trying to intervene and destroy her marriage.

She told our family and relatives that I was now conspiring with her husband to leave her while she’s pregnant. BIL has gone back now but things are still dicey and I told him to call me if things get out of hand again.

Both my parents called me today to say I’m betraying family. After I told them of her recent unhinged actions they said if I really cared I would make sure BIL stays with my sister who’s the real vulnerable one, not give him an “easy out” from marriage. They also said it’s obvious I didn’t care about her wellbeing or else I would’ve taken HER in instead of him. It’s true I never offered to take her in.

AITA if I don’t do any of this and just let BIL stay with me when he feels like it? I can’t help but feel like no one takes my sister’s terrible actions seriously in my family and I know if I were in BIL’s shoes I would want a place where I can distance myself from all that. ######

Response:
 NTA, but it might not be the best approach.   Letting your BIL stay is a safety vent, but it doesn't address the real problem.

Somebody needs to get that woman into therapy.  If she's a menace to her husband, throwing objects at his head, should she really be caring for a baby?

Try to get your parents on board with this idea.  Apparently you are currently "the enemy" in your sister's distorted world view, so your mother might be able to talk sense into her about seeking therapy.

Good luck. ######


Prompt:
My fiance and I were planning to get married this year anyway. We obviously can't do a "full" wedding, but we need to legally marry now for legal reasons and health insurance. In my area, weddings can only have a maximum of 15 people, and that includes the officiant, the bride and groom, and any vendors they have.

So with just the bare minimum (us, officiant, and a photographer), we can only have 11 guests. My fiance has his parents, and 5 siblings, all of whom live in the state and are close. I have my parents, who are divorced and remarried, and two siblings.

Including the stepparents, we have 17 people total, which is 2 over the limit. We have to clip by two people. Bio parents can't be cut. Siblings are all close and we can't just cut siblings out without an even worse fallout. So that leaves the new(er) spouses. I like them both and the relationship is good, but they're the closest to "extra" people that we can cut from this wedding (I know this sounds horrible).

My stepmother is furious, says I don't respect her or any marriage, and that it's horribly wrong to split up a married couple no matter what the circumstance. My stepfather is sad but understands that I can't really control the situation.

Not marrying now isn't practical advice. We can't just "bend the rules" and have them, because the police will give us a heavy fine, and we will be forced to completely disperse. I'm willing to come take pictures with them later, they just can't come to the actual wedding. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but is there a way they can participate without physically attending the ceremony, like if it was live streamed for them? ######


Prompt:
My husband and I are new homeowners and moved into our first home a little less than a year ago.

We’ve had a rocky relationship with one of our neighbors from the start, an older couple— the husband is pretty chill and kind to us but the wife has been confrontational and made sure when we moved in that we knew exactly where our property ends and theirs begins. We’re in a city and our lots are about 2000 sqft each so we’re talking a matter of inches that she does not want us crossing. When we moved in, other neighbors on the street welcomed us and also warned us about her attitude and nastiness. Basically the point being that honestly I am intimidated by my neighbors and do not want to confront them directly.

They have a fire pit in their backyard that is roughly 20 feet from our house. The weather has been getting nicer so they have been using it for recreational use— just to have a fire going while sitting outside and chatting. Naturally being so close, the smoke comes right into our home so we can’t open windows and we can’t be outside in our own yard without being covered in smoke. It has even set off the smoke detectors in our house if any window is opened a crack.

I checked our local laws and any fire pits require a permit and must be 75 ft away from any structure (which is impossible considering the size of our houses and our small yards), and can only be operated from January to May 1st.

I called the fire department yesterday (anonymously) and within 5 minutes they were there and it was put out. I plan to call the fire department whenever their smoke gets into our house/yard. According to local laws they will probably be fined and prohibited from having it entirely if there are multiple complaints.

WIBTA for calling the fire department as many times as necessary to get my neighbors’ recreational fire pit shut down? ######

Response: NTA, but in all likelihood if they've been doing this for years and not gotten reported, and you moved in and they suddenly were, they know it was you. That's not a reason not to do it - it's not allowed because it's a safety issue. Just be cautious, because if she's that nasty, she'll find a way to retaliate. ######


Prompt: My biological mother came to visit 5 years ago. She and I don’t get along, but for the sake of my daughters I put up with her. During the visit she told my wife that she hates never having money. My wife told her that as a disabled vet (not a physical disability) she receives over 2k a month. It was clear listening to her that she had never taken a financial management class. So my wife started to school her. Mom says she can’t get a checking or savings account because of something unpaid from years ago. My wife decided to help her and co signed for an account. Fast forward five years and we get a call from a collection agency. Apparently mom had hit as many ATMs as she could and knowing that she had no money did not stop her. Eventually the bank cut her card off and cancelled her account and my wife’s account. My wife never uses that account and never realized what happened. Now they are calling and want my wife to pay for the almost 700 dollars. I haven’t spoken with my Mom in two years since she decided to make a huge scene at my Masters graduation. I’m debating if I should call the cops and press charges or if I should just suck it up and pay it since my wife did co sign. I’m out of patience and I can’t tell if IATA for wanting crush my mother or if she is for being a criminal. ######

Response: NTA, but if your wife put her name on the account she is responsible for it. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway

I have a 14 year old son. My son has a close friends group. Lately I found out that my son was bullying a lesbian girl. I grounded him the day I found out. My son tried to tell me the lesbian girl was bothering and trying to join his friend group and no one in his group wanted to be friends with her. They tried telling a teacher that the girl was bothering them and the teacher thought the girl was doing something nice. Then my son and his friends group started calling her names and started making fun off her. I think that was a stupid excuse. My son is extremely pissed at me and refuses to talk to me after he was grounded. ######

Response: NTA, but if the outcome you want is for your son to stop being homophobic, you're going to need to have an open conversation with him about what's going on. It may be that this chick sucks separately from being a lesbian, but that they used lesbian slurs as a way to get back at her, which isn't okay. If someone sucks, tell them they suck, don't call them a d\*ke. But if they genuinely don't want to be friends with this girl, for whatever reason, you can't force it. You can only teach him to empathize and be kind when rejecting someone's offers of friendship. ######


Prompt:
So I’m 17 (turning 18 in May) and my sister is 16. There’s been a thing in my family where they pass down a cute little ring to the oldest daughter in the family when they turn 18, so I’m about to get it from my mom soon. My little sister has taken a strong liking towards the ring (she has seen it a couple of times) and so for the past few months, she’s been in a bad mood and basically throwing tantrums over how she can’t get the ring because she’s not the oldest.

For example, she has talked to my mom numerous times about how it’s unfair that the daughter who wants the ring the most can’t get it if she’s not the oldest, how her high grades should justify her getting it, and other excuses like that.

She has also came to me plenty of times trying to convince me to give the ring to her instead because she really wants it, even though I’ve said no.

She has brought it up so many times that my parents told her that they’d buy her a necklace (which has a similar color and shimmer to the ring), but she still wasn’t having it.

Last night at dinner, she started complaining about the ring again. I really lost my cool and said “shut the fuck up, nobody cares about how much you want the ring. It’s mine and you’ll never get it so you need to live with that”. I also told her that the way she was acting was sad and I wasn’t even sure that the necklace she was going to get would fix her childish-ness. It was kind of awkward and my parents berated me for my language, but was I in the wrong? ######

Response: NTA, But if really should have come from your parents.  It is your families tradition and all your mother has to do is put her foot down and stop the conversation. ######


Prompt:
I work from home permanently. Since my 2 year old's daycare is shut down until further notice, she's been at home with me all every day while I've been working full time from home with a full plate. My sister, thankfully, has been able to take her 3 days a week starting last week, but that's still 2 days of work that I'm juggling a very active toddler with a full work load as a single mom with full custody.

I''m an account manager for restaurant audit servicing companies, and my project load has been cut down to almost nothing.  I'm literally pulling projects out of thin air to stay busy. My boss emailed me on Thusday a few weeks ago at midnight, asking what I had gotten done that week. I gave him a list, told him that Wednesday was a tough day for my daughter, and she was home with me, so I didn't get much done. He thanked me for my honesty but docked me half a day of pay. He owns the company so there's not much I can do.

That was enough to motivate me to do the bare minimum and start networking to secure a new job once this is over. Maybe I'm overreacting, but that really rubbed me the wrong way, especially since I was incredibly transparent about having my daughter home with me during this time, and they assured me it wouldn't be an issue. I have always put in extra hours, helped on projects that I'm not involved in, helped find solutions to issues that needed to be solved ASAP. Now I'm just not interested in doing anything for them. ######

Response:
 NTA, but I’d be careful about transparency moving forward right now. Not that you should lie, but I’d definitely emphasize the extra work, initiatives and projects you’ve taken on. Not just so you don’t get docked pay, but so you’re not on the chopping block should push come to shove and your boss has to make cuts. Most companies except the obvious ones (grocery stores, Amazon, etc) have hiring freezes right now so getting let go and then getting another job in your industry using your skill set is likely going to be hard for a good while.

Your boss sucks though, just so I’m totally clear on that point. Asking you what you’ve been doing points to a boss that isn’t aware or in the loop, and instead of docking your pay, he could’ve come up with projects for you, guidance, etc. ######


Prompt:
I (21F) live with my boyfriend (24M) he eats alot and all the time he is snacking on something, but recently I've drawn a line. He has started eating food in bed, like chips and candy. It's gotten so bad he will fall asleep while eating. Last night I rolled over to a smushed candy bar that fell out of his hand and got chocolate all over our sheets. He always apologizes and says this is the last thing he will eat but he always gets more. Tonight I got mad when he had chocolate again and he told me it's ok he is awake and it's all he will have tonight. Not even 10min later he gets up to use the bathroom and brings back a honey bun I just roll over at this point and try to sleep but the smell of food is keeping me awake. He finally fell asleep and as soon as I started to doze off he woke up (not even 30min later) and went to grab some chips. I smelled them as soon as he opened them and I called him out of continually eating in bed and making a mess he got defensive saying he is sitting up and not making a mess and I told him if he wants to eat we have a perfectly good living room and kitchen and I'm tired of our bed room smelling like the food he brings up in the night. He told me I was exaggerating and finally I got up to sleep on the couch. He is now mad saying I'm making a big deal out of this and that if it's so important he will stop. But I've mentioned this so many times that it bothers me and he hasn't stopped.

Am I the asshole for telling my boyfriend I hate him eating in bed then going to sleep on the couch when he doesn't stop ######

Response: NTA, but I'm wondering if he has hyperthyroidism. My boyfriend's brothers ex did the same exact thing. She'd come to bed carrying an arm load of snacks to get her through the night. Could be something to consider checking if there's a medical cause for his constant night time eating. ######


Prompt:
Well, this is a long one, but I'll try to make it short. I and my family are dog breeders ( Akita inu) and because of this, we have met many people, who do the same thing or just loves animals all together.

My parents have been doing this for 25+ years, and have made plenty of friends, but one always stuck out. My mom has known her for around 10 years or so. I'll call her friend E.

E is a proper hippie (antivaxx, 5g will kill you , you get the deal) she lives in a huge farm , without running water or electricity ( she willingly chose this)

At first she had 6 akitas, they were all healthy and beautiful, but as the time went on she started to rescue animals.  She was telling everyone who was listening how good she is to them, how she uses better methods with them than everyone else and how we should learn from her.

She adopted two parrots from an old lady, they were killed by her cat.

She adopted 10+ stray dogs, who are fighting constantly

She adopted a baby deer, because it was sick, and needed feeding, she left her in the garden and THE DOGS ATE the poor thing.

She had 3 litters despite knowing there was parvo virus in her land and around 20+ puppies died.

The list is endless, you probably get the deal.

Well, today she called us crying, that she forgot to lock her front gate, one of her older akitas, who she loved dearly ran away, and was hit by a car, she died. And I lost it.

I raised my voice tbh. at her , how she is the worst of all pet owners I've ever known in my life, and more animals have died by her hand, than she has saved.

Well, she started crying even more and hung up. My parents want me to apologize to het, but to be honest I feel like I was telling the truth.

So Reddit, was I the asshole here and should I apologize? ######

Response: NTA, but I'm surprised you didn't speak up before now. 20 dead puppies is a *lot*. Regardless, it's completely justified to read her the riot act over this; it's a pattern of awful behaviour. ######


Prompt:
Now before I get attacked or anything please let me clarify.

I (19F) moved in with my Ex (19M) a year and a half ago, and while I had been living there it was like hell on earth, I was Verbally, Mentally abused by his parents on an almost weekly basis, and when they were not attacking me, they were attacking their own children and eachother.

I got a job and worked full time, over forty hours a week but whenever I dared to spend the money I worked and earned on myself, even if it was just lunch at work I was called many vile names. All the money that I worked for went to his parents, but I was lied to about where it was going.

I was told it was grocery money but there wouldn't be groceries bought, so it went to drugs. My evidence of this is his father borrowed his phone and forgot to delete a text to a random number asking for a "Quarter Ball" which is a measurement for Cocaine.

my playstation that I had begged my parents for for years that I finally had gotten the christmas before I moved out (moved out in Feb 2019) got pawned a week after I moved in and then got lost in the pawnshop but I was never told, but after months of asking to get it back and saying I'd even pay for it I found out it had been lost.

Or when I found out my grandmother was dying I took a day off of work because I was grieving and was called a whore and a cunt and told I was fucking them over.

Now that I have luckily managed to get myself out of that situation I can see how fucked up it is, but the issue is there is a minor there, who is being mentally abused by her parents on an almost daily basis.

Would I be the asshole if I called the cops for a wellness check, because I could honestly keep going on all shit things I heard and experienced living in that house but it would be an 5000+ word essay. ######

Response: NTA, but I wouldn't claim it's a wellness check, it's more like you're reporting abuse. If this is true, please report any child abuse to the cops and give them as much info as you possibly can. Any action is better than no action. ######


Prompt:
We were casually chatting yesterday and he brought up that he was looking at the /gonewild subs. I personally am okay with looking at porn and the general /gonewild subs, but when he was looking at specifically the Asian subs I feel extremely uncomfortable. Something about the intimacy (as opposed to porn) and the resemblance to my own body threw me off.

I do send him nudes whenever he asks for them and I feel bad knowing he’s jerking off to women who look so much like me.. but not me.

I don’t think it’s an body-insecurity thing either, i look pretty much like the more toned girls on the sub. So redditers- AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but I would be careful. I am an Asian woman who used to date a guy that primarily “preferred” Asian porn. I watch a lot of porn too so the porn wasn’t really the issue. After being together for 3+ years I finally started to notice how he showed signs of having yellow fever. I finally broke up with him for many other reasons but the yellow fever always made me hugely uncomfortable and fetishized. After many many educational and respectful talks he could never understand why his behavior and comments that focused on my race as his primary source of attraction to me made me feel objectified. Not to mention the racism started to come out towards the end too. I would just be careful as his porn preference was such a huge indicator that he was a toxic fetishizer. ######


Prompt:
I have a coworker who is not pregnant and is always gloating about how physically fit she is. However ever since she started 2 years ago has been parking in the expecting mothers parking spots. One time taking the last space from me while I was pregnant and on a walking distance restriction. Today after I parked in the normal spots (my baby is 4 months now yay!) I saw her park in the spots again and it made me irrationally angry. Would I be the asshole if I called her out and asked her "so, how many years pregnant are you?"

She has NO restrictions and HR has done nothing about it and has been told by multiple people. ######

Response: NTA, but I would ask how many months instead of years and come off as if you genuinely believe she's pregnant. Congratulate her even and say you'll inform the office to plan a party. When she corrects you that she's not pregnant, show your genuine confusion as to why she's parking in those spots. Do that every day and surely she'll be annoyed enough to stop ######


Prompt:
We are both 25. I'm a fat guy,  I have been fat since the start of the relationship. My weight has fluctuated a bit but I'm 10 pounds lighter than when the relationship started and working on losing more.

I wear a 38" waist in jeans and an XL/2XL in tops... for my birthday my girlfriend bought me a bunch of (expensive) new clothes that are WAY too small for me.

She bought me jeans in a 28" waist and tops in a medium.

She told me that I can wear them when I lose weight and hopefully they would motivate me.

I mentioned once to her that when I was around 16/17 I was skinny and wore a 28, but I'm not sure it's feasible to get that skinny again. I'm not sure I even want to, I was borderline underweight. I gained the weight due to giving up sport and extreme depression and binge eating disorder that started at age 21. I don't binge anymore but I'm still fat.

She never consulted me on what I want to look like and I just feel kind of hurt and disrespected. I just feel like she's basically told me "happy birthday you fat fuck" lol..

I think she must be really disgusted by my body to do something like that. It's not her fault, my body really is disgusting, but I guess there's always a part of you that hopes your partner is attracted anyway.

Our sex life is not the best- it was okay at first but now she doesn't initiate much. I never take off my shirt around her.

I tried to act pleased with what she bought but obviously she saw I was upset. She has made comments about my weight before and I can't help feeling like she knew it would hurt me.

Am i the asshole for getting upset at a gift? Was she just trying to help? ######

Response: NTA, but I think you need to discuss this. This is NOT A GIFT. It's a really terrible thing as a "gift" and I think you should be done here. And, leave the clothes for the guy she thinks she bought them for. ######


Prompt:
(24M)

Yesterday afternoon, a new neighbour in our flat knocked on our door. It was a young woman and she asked if we had any sugar at home she could borrow to use for her baby's milk for the day, since she can't go out to buy any and her husband is working.

I told her that I had some sugar left, but it's only enough for the apple pie I was planning to make that evening. She said that she really needs it since her 2 year old baby refuses anything else to eat, and that it would be a kind gesture if I could give up my apple pie for another day.

I kindly refused and I mentioned that if she really needs it, I can go out and buy it for her **(I meant with her money)** but I'm not looking to give my sugar away.

She wasn't happy and sarcastically thanked me as she was leaving. I just closed the door and continued about my day.

I'm always one to doubt my previous actions and I question myself as to whether I was right or wrong, so I told my parents.....and they told me I was selfish for not helping someone out and that they expected better from me as a gentleman.

I'm here for judgement. Was I selfish? Was I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA, but I think it would've been easier to just say "sorry, I don't have any extra sugar". She didn't need to know about your pie or your plans for sugar.

Also, where do you live that people feed babies sugar milk? That seems whack to me ######


Prompt:
I(20f) have been using this system since I was 18. I google pictures of penises and just send them one back.

Ignoring means they think they can escalate it to things like soft porn, or begging me for my nudes cause they sent one first so it's only fair.

Blocking has often resulted in them making new accounts to send me dick pics on or finding me on other social media.

This is the only what I have found that works to make them stop. I feel bad for it, but I can't think of anything else to do. ######

Response:
 NTA, but I keep a few pictures of "degloved" penises to send them. Very NSFL, Google at your own risk.

Edit to add: If they ask why you would send that say "Sorry, I thought we were trying to gross each other out" ######


Prompt:
Background first. I am not an expert on genetics and health but in our family, we are capable of fasting for a very long period without getting sick. I can go up to 3 days drinking only water, eat a huge meal fit for 3 days, then fast for 3 days again without any side effects.

I normally stick to 2-3 meals a day but when there is a dinner event, like buffet, I would fast 2-3 days before and surprise everybody when I eat big amounts of food later(I am rather small 156cm and 51kg).

We were going to hold a small party in our dorm to celebrate the release of lockdown(Yes, it is legal to gather in my country now). We ordered lots of food, and I was going to fast again before the party.

Before the party, a dorm mate of mine asked how I could always eat so much without getting fat. I explained to her that I would simply eat nothing for 2-3 days and eat everything on the day of event. I did warn her that not to do that, not everyone could and it could be dangerous.

Turned out she only listened to the first part of the conversation, starved herself for 2 days and fainted right before the party. She hurt her hips and had to be absent resting in the campus nurse office during the party.

She was and is still angry at me for my "shitty suggestion", but I simply answered her question, I did not suggest for her to starve herself and even specifically told her not to. Her friends are also siding her and blaming me for making her starve and not even bother to give her an apology. I am not apologising for her stupid actions.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, but I just wanted to say that I do the same thing. My Dr diagnosed me as having an eating disorder. She calls it binging and restricting.

I now fast intermittently. If I know I’m going out for a big dinner I’ll skip breakfast and lunch, but just for that day. Most day’s I’ll only eat between the hours of 12pm and 5pm. ######


Prompt:
So I'm actually torn about this one. I've been dating Mae for two years, and I'm very close to proposing. She's just amazing but blended families always suck. I have a 10 year old daughter and an 8 year old son who she really makes an effort with. My son is much more receptive then my daughter. She was more effected by the divorce and both kids have been in therapy for it. I'd say for the most part my son likes Mae though he has moments of getting upset that she isn't his mom. She doesn't try to parent them, but he still lashes out sometimes and my daughter doesn't like her very much.

Anyway she put some body lotion on before bed and I guess the kids put itching powder in it. They didn't do the best job because I found the empty packet in the trash. Now it's not the end of the world. I have a little bit of an issue because I don't think it was completely done out of fun, but I asked her how she felt and what she wanted me to do. She was pretty understanding and didn't want me to punish them, but she said we should prank them back so I switched out the sunscreen and the lotion and let the kids use it the next day.

We laughed at them a little, but we weren't assholes about it. I explained that they don't get to be mad because they did the same thing to her. My son apologized. My daughter didn't, but since we pranked them back I didn't push it. Anyway I got an irate call from my ex after they went home and she said my daughter was crying and that we are "bullying" the kids. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but I have to admit, I don't much care for your assessment that blended families always suck. ######


Prompt: So my friend is hyper obsessed with his appearance. Gym 5x a week. Strict diet. He dresses well. And he expects someone who meets this standard. So far so good right? Well he also wants someone who is pretty. Really pretty. He always decides he wants the most attractive girl at the bar. He always asked out 10/10s in college(we aren’t in college anymore but when we were he’d always do that). Here’s the thing: he’s under the impression that he’s a model. He’s not, he’s in his 20s and balding, he’s 5’5”. His face really isn’t all that... shall we say “conventionally attractive”? Point is, he’s done what he can with his appearance but he’ll never be a stud. He’s had one girlfriend in his life but refuses to change to get more girlfriends more often. Now he’s saying some incel stuff like “woman are all [fill in the blank]” and on some level I understand after years of rejection he might be bitter. But that’s no excuse to be sexist, especially when he refuses to acknowledge that his “type” is extra picky. Guess what a 10/10 will want another 10/10. When you’re that pretty you get to say “too short too fat too this too that”. He doesn’t want to date girls with unconventional faces or different body types besides fit. I set him up with my girlfriend’s friend. He ghosted her. He said she wasn’t as pretty as my girlfriend so why would he settle for silver. I got angry at him but we made up after he said that. My patience is wearing thin and I just want to explain that he’s not going to ever get models in bed every day and life is unfair but he should focus on aspects of a girl he can get like her personality or her interests. Would I be the asshole if I told him to be realistic with his standards? ######

Response:
 NTA, but I dont think telling him to lower his standards is the answer. It may be important to call him out saying he has unrealistic standards, but I think more so he needs to be called out on the fact that he isnt entitled to anything and women dont owe him anything. If he's getting rejected all the time, it's something about him, not the women.

If he's not going to respect women, is going to focus purely on appearance (though I get that you're attracted to what you're attracted to), and is going to basically look at them as objects/a prize to be won/etc, of course he's not going to be in a relationship because no one is going to tolerate his bullshit.

As a society we really need to teach the idea that romantic relationships are not necessary and that it's important to learn to be happy outside of romantic partnerships. Like - it's okay to want that, but the fact that so many people think they need to be in a relationship contributes to the number of unhealthy and unhappy relationships ######


Prompt:
My roommate and I were close friends when we first moved in together a year and a half ago. Not long after we signed our 2nd year lease, the friendship went downhill and a big argument led us to agreeing we would end our friendship but continue living together until the lease was up.

Most of the time we function well as roommates only. Other times, like today, she gets emotional about something or other and picks a fight with me, which usually ends up with me trying to remove myself from the situation and her following me around the house yelling about how no one cares about her feelings, I treat her like shit, she helps everyone out but no one supports her when she needs it, etc.

She doesn't have any friends besides her mom. She was laid off in March and hasn't seen anyone except for me since then. Due to our proximity and years of familiarity, she sometimes slips back into acting like we're friends again, but I would rather we didn't. I know she's very lonely.

The thing is...she's right. I don't care about her feelings. Not anymore. I wish her well in life but she is and always has been an emotionally draining person and I am done being the one that's drained. When she directs her frustration at me, I don't have the capacity to do anything except stare at her blankly until she wears herself out. That's what makes me feel like an asshole. Her social/life situation sucks, but we BOTH agreed to end the friendship and I don't feel it's my responsibility anymore to make her feel better. ######

Response: Nta, but I don't think there's much you cam do to change the situation. She sounds like she needs therapy. You quite literally are not qualified to help her ######


Prompt:
 I have a 16 year old daughter, who has recently begun her first real relationship. He’s a nice boy and I like him a lot, though I get the impression his family is much more conservative than I am. His parents wanted to meet my husband and I so we had them over for dinner last night and I did get some judgy vibes from the mother at least. My daughter is not my husband’s child. We went on vacation once with my former best friend and after a night of drinking we decided to switch partners. My husband had a vasectomy before I met him, so when I got pregnant I knew who the father was.

My daughter does know her bio dad, but he choses not to be a big part of her life. She has a great relationship with my husband, but she calls him by his first name. He never wanted kids and I was afraid he’d leave me, so out compromise was that I don’t ever expect him to be a real parent to her. I’m just glad they bonded. It’s a little unconventional, but we’re all happy.

Anyway dinner was going alright, but I mentioned something about how the pandemic had forced us to cancel our plans for our twentieth anniversary, and I didn’t think of it at the time, but obviously they did the math and the mother asked me about it, so I was honest. She looked very uncomfortable, but I guess a lot of people would be, and then she asked how I could say it in front of my daughter. I asked if I was supposed to lie to her, and the woman said she didn’t understand how I could be so upfront about cheating on my husband. That really pissed me off, because obviously I didn’t cheat so I told her to get out.

My daughter is mad at me, because she’s 16 and everything I do is mortifying, and because she is worried about her relationship, but I tried to explain it nicely to this woman. Also I feel like I’m not an asshole because she shouldn’t have asked in the first place, but I’ll let you decide. ######

Response:
 NTA, but I am confused:
>our twentieth anniversary

Your daughter is 16, so what prompted asking the mother asking about the daughter's paternity? Did the mother know about the vasectomy? ######


Prompt:
This is my friend's account btw for obvious reasons.
My little sis (10) is usually forced to go to birthday parties she doesn't want to when she's invited. She can be selectively social & only likes hanging out with some kids she likes.

My mom (43) was invited to an event where a bunch of moms from my sister's school gather & gossip, play games, dance, etc. Kids were also invited & there were not going to be the few bffs that my sis hangs out with. She knew she had to go as mom was going to take her anyway and worked up a little bit of an excitement.

However, my mom started picking out her clothes for her and told her she was wearing a green turtle neck that she knows she hates. My mom loves that top on her & even when she protested, my mom told her she was wearing it and it was final. My sister screamed & cried as she didn't want to wear it and thought she looked ugly in it. She ended up wearing it and cried the whole way there.

4 months have passed and this came up in a conversation today. My mom was talking about how my sis doesn't listen to anything she says and I told her she could f*ck off. I had seen my sis that day scrubbing her face that day trying to not feel/look like sh*t to make up for the hideous top.

My parents call a family meeting and told me I was being disrespectful as a daughter (I'm 21 btw) and I should apologise to my mom for my behaviour. AITA here & should I cave? ######

Response:
 NTA, but I am biased and love how protective you are about your sister.
There's a bigger problem at hand: your mom forcing her to be social when that's not her personality. It's going to continue to create strife, and you need to approach your mom *calmly* to address it with her (after checking with your sister). Otherwise, it'll strain their relationship long term. ######


Prompt:
Been with my girlfriend for 2 years. I’m about ready to jump out of this relationship but for the sake of my sanity I want to ask on here so I know if I’m truly the arsehole or not.

My girlfriend has a 14 year old son. I try hard to foster a good relationship with him especially because my old man was nowhere to be seen when I was growing up. He is usually disrespectful to me and plays up the fact that I’m with his mum but am not his father.

By all rights everyone in her family (mum / dad etc) has acknowledged her son needs a councillor and help because his behaviour is THAT obvious (more so in front of other people he’s rude to me) but she has always maintained I need to ‘deal’ with her sons attitude to me because ‘he just wants to feel like he’s got control’. I tried hard to overlook the disrespect and maintain good ties but it’s getting harder and harder as her son gets older.

Girlfriend and I went out into my garden for a fag. Girlfriends son decided to barge past and start breaking the shed in my garden. Why, I have no fucking idea. He says he was bored. I told him to stop being a twit. He looked at me, smirked, said you’re not my dad and you can’t tell me what to do.

I looked over at my girlfriend since he normally saves that line for when she’s not around and she simply ignored him.

I snapped at her to sort her son out since I’m not his dad and went inside. I’ve just had enough. She came in raging and screaming that I need an attitude adjustment and that Im a total cunt. ######

Response: NTA, but I also think you need to jump ship. If your girlfriend won’t react when her son acts this way towards you now, chances are that will never change. ######


Prompt: So my baby bro(15) recently told me that he wants to come out to the parents and I immediately shut him down for it. Our neighborhood and family is strictly conservative and I know for a fact that his ass is getting disowned and kicked out if he does. Our country's childcare system is so messed up that it would be safer for someone to stay with their abusive parents than to be handed over to the state and I just barely started University so there's no way I can financially support him by myself. I know it must be hard for him to keep it to himself and a few close people but I just can't let him come out to my parents while still being so heavily dependent on them. Advice on any other way that I could handle this (if there is)would be much appreciated. ######

Response: NTA, but how long till he moves out? You should help him form a plan, and teach him to be careful of who to trust. ######


Prompt:
Me and my Bf been together for 4 years we have our own place but the funny thing is 2 of his friends are roommates who live right next to us. My sister came by last week so I could watch my niece (7 months) while she went to work but my Bf came out the room in nothing but his underwear my sister was rightly embarrassed and left quickly I told him that he can't do that and he should at least wear pants and doesn't have to wear a shirt. He told me he refused to be uncomfortable in his own house. I tried to talk it out but he brushed it for fine. His friends come over in the living room just talk I come out the room with the tighest shirt i own and his favorite pair of panties he likes me to wear and fix a PP & J sandwich (you can still see the kitchen from the living room) I can feel the death glare in the back of my hard and walked back to our room. After that he sent to boys home and hell broke lose

AITA?? ######

Response: NTA, but how does underwear work when you need a fucking pickup truck to cart around your balls of steel? ######


Prompt:
I feel like a dick so that's why im asking the impartial internet.

So my boyfriend and I (F17 and M16) fall asleep on the phone every night. I work mornings most of the time so I go to bed relatively early while he stays up all night and sleeps through the day. I tend to go to bed around 10:30pm or so, but I normally call him about 45 minutes before I go to bed so we can talk.

The problem is, we don't talk. He's always playing Warzone with his friends and I've gotten yelled at if I unmute to tell him I love him. I always get a hurried " Love you too, not now Potato" which he only ever calls me in front of his friends.

I always end up staying up later then I should so we can talk for a little bit and say goodnight. Right now its almost 12am and I have to get up at 8am.

When I brought up how I feel ignored when we call he just says that the only time he can play with his friends is 9pm-11pm because one of them has to work all day.

I don't want to be controlling or make him feel bad for enjoying himself but I do feel like it doesn't make sense to be on a call if we're not talking.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but he’s showing you where his priorities are. The fact that his friend can only play video games during that time is more important than you wanting to spend time with him. ######


Prompt:
I recently found out that the ring my fianceè proposed to me with is the same ring he used several years ago to propose to a girl he ended up not marrying. She didn't say no, but she left him like two weeks before their wedding. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but all I can think about is them when I look at the ring, not us.

WIBTA if I asked if we could pick out a different ring together, something that was for us instead? ######

Response: NTA, but he is. It seems like he lied to you about where the ring was from because he knew you wouldn't accept having it. It's not unreasonable for you to want your own. ######


Prompt:
So very stupid situation here but I would rather share my frustrations with strangers than shared friends...

My wife is struggling with her perception with her figure, mentioning a couple times a day that she is getting fat and to not look at her fat rolls (she is by no means fat). So I suggest that we go to the store together and plan a couple healthy meals and specifically to meal prep some healthy lunches for her to bring to work.

So we go and buy a good chunk of healthy foods and I start cooking (I do 95% of the cooking) and I spend about 3 hours making healthy low carb meals for her to bring to work. We probably spent about 80 dollars on a weeks worth of food for her and make some of her favorite healthy meals for lunches.

So as the week starts out shes taking her lunches to work and seems pretty happy with them. Come Friday, I notice there were still 2 lunches in the fridge (I had prepped four lunches) and I asked if everything was ok with them and she said that they were great but that the guys at her office were getting lunch for each other (this is common and usually isn't healthy) and that they had asked her the at the end of the shift if she would like something for the next day to which she had said yes.

Told her I was glad she was bonding and that we would just eat them for dinner that night. I was a little annoyed but didn't mention anything.

So that next Monday she brings back the tupperware from the other two lunches and one of them has her whole lunch in it! I got pretty annoyed and told her that we weren't going to be spending our money on her expensive health food if she wasn't going to be eating it and spending more money to go out and eat and that I didn't appreciate wasting my day off cooking if she wasn't going to eat it.

She seemed to feel pretty bad about it and clammed up and didn't want to talk about it further when I tried to apologize and explain my thoughts in a cooler moment (I didn't yell but was visibly annoyed). ######

Response:
 NTA, but has happened to me too. For reasons I cannot explain the home prepared food is never as enticing as the other choice...  And there is guilt that goes with it, of course. So when you ask about it, she doesn't know what to say.
The next step, if pressed, will probably be to dump it out at work and bring the empty container home. She's not doing that.
So somehow this just needs to be a choice, not something that causes guilt. Is freezing the portion of food an option, so they would last longer? Otherwise I would just drop it for now, see if she seeks it out... ######


Prompt:
Here's the situation... I recently had a baby. When I found out I was pregnant I decided to buy a house as my apartment is a 1 bedroom and much too small. I found a building with 3 seperate apartments, which I planned to move into the 3 bedroom on the bottom floor.  I closed on the house in March and informed the tenant about my plans to move in.

Because of covid I agreed to allow them to stay a few month's longer,  but now the covid in our area has subsided for the most part and business are opened back up.

I wouldn't be in such a hurry except that I've had several complaints from neighbors and my other tenants about the property.  These people have at least 8 cars parked in the front of the house at a time, most of them unregistered and no inspection.  I received an Order to Remedy Violation from the town zoning officer.  And the entire yards looks like a scrap yard with all the car parts and tires laying around. One of my good tenants told me she plans to move if they aren't gone soon because she can't stand the "ruckus" that goes on every day.

There are also repairs needed to the plumbing and windows in the basement that they are not allowing me to get to.

I feel like they are taking advantage of my kindness and my property. I know it's hard to find a place that quickly and move out but we don't have a lease and in my state I'm only required to give the 30 days. ######

Response: NTA, but carefully follow the laws regarding eviction in your locality.  In some places landlord has to jump through hoops.  If you have to physically have them removed, you definitely want a law enforcement officer along for that.  People can become violent or destructive to property. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so I'm currently living on the other side of the planet. With all the quarantine stuff, my mom's been actually genuinely worried about the family's well being, so she and my step-dad have organized a little video meeting every day where my step-dad shares a piece of the Bible and comments on it.

I should clarify that I'm 26, gay, atheist and I have a degree on Philosophy. Former Christian. My parents are not okay with any of the previous points. Except perhaps for my age.

I agreed to the meetings bc I felt like it would be a nice thing to do for my mom since he genuinely sounds worried. At first it was fine. Boring, but fine. However, since about a week ago, something has started to annoy me.

There have been many, too many mentions of homosexuality being a sin, a sign of the end of times; or quotes from Philosophers that get shut down with an absolute dumbass argument; or mentions of apostates burning in hell.

And you may think this is standard religious stuff, but I know my parents far better than that.

So, today I got sick of it and I shot back.

My step-dad talked about Genesis, I questioned every single thing he brought up; he mentioned the ark and the flood, I shot back with scientific evidence; he mentioned Newton, I pulled his biography; he questioned Voltaire, I argued back; he claimed "all bodies emmit light" and I obviously shot that down immediately, not just bc it simply isn't true, but also bc he's mentioned several times he doesn't believe in the four elemental forces (despite being a retired Nuclear Medicine Physician).

Needless to say the call ended abruptly and in an unfriendly manner.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but best to decline any future meetings like this. I might also send a polite message stating that while these meetings started out harmless enough and you didn't mind taking part in them to be involved in the family, they have seemed to have taken a judgemental and targeted turn, which you will not tolerate. I wouldn't get into any future debates or arguments, just be clear, you will not tolerate it. ######


Prompt:
I'm a senior broadcast producer, and our manager just announced that we would be welcoming a new team member next week. However, when I heard his name, I internally panicked because I used to work with him in my previous company.

I was then an associate producer, and he was a senior associate. His biggest problem was his attitude. He was by no means my boss, it just so happened that he has more experience than me, but we have the same duties. However, he always liked bossing around everyone without the "senior" title. He's always delegating duties that were initially assigned to him by our actual boss.

He's also gay, which I initially had no problems with. However, he flirted with a lot of guys in the office, even straight ones with girlfriends and wives. It got so intense to the point where he sent unsolicited dick pics to some of us and we threatened to report him to HR if he didn't stop, which he eventually did.

Lastly, he was the kind of obnoxious, overachieving, credit-grabbing person who would do anything to get his name above everyone else. To be fair, he's really good at his job, but it really irked everyone in the office because of his attitude. He was one of the reasons why I left that job.

Now, I'm planning on telling some of my friends in my current work about him. When I "warn" them though, I'm pretty sure that the news would travel fast with office gossip. It has been three years since we last encountered each other, but everything still feels \~fresh\~.

So, WIBTA if I told my current coworkers about this person we're about to work with?

EDIT: A lot of replies are saying he may have changed. I left the company in 2017. He just left last month. I talked to some of my friends who still work there if he's changed, and they're adamant that he didn't. They said that before he left, he's bragging about how this new job offered him a much higher salary. ######

Response:
 NTA, but be prepared to back up each and every allegation with witnesses - if he ends up misbehaving or gets dismissed for any reason, there may be a suit and everything you’ve said will be on trial.  He may also accuse you of discrimination and/or creating a hostile work environment, and you would need to be prepared to produce evidence for everything you’ve said in a bulletproof way.

Honestly it seems like you might be better off telling only your boss and HR, right now, before he arrives, out of concern for the work environment and so that they know to be on the lookout for issues, waiting for him to misbehave and then if that happens, taking it from there.  Telling your coworkers up front may be perceived as trying to stir hostility rather than protecting yourself or others. ######


Prompt:
Context: I am the youngest of six kids, the one I’m closest to in age is 8 years older than me.

All of my siblings are adults. I recently noticed how often they are praised for things, and have tried to succeed at said things only to get no praise due to the fact I’m normally not in the spotlight so it’s ignored. I went back on my last AITA post and reading one of my comments realized the very different treatment I get.

If I got awards of trophies, instead of going in the case with all my siblings stuff I would have to Put it in my room. Instead of attending my plays or tournaments they would drop me off and go do something else unlike with my siblings where we all would go and watch them. I’m normally separated from conversation and ignored if I try to join in at dinners. I’m not invited to most outings and left at home. Only recently did I get to join in on stuff but it was only because they wanted to test my boundaries without my permission which only made me upset that it wasn’t actually to hang out with me. It mainly got to me after my nephew’s birthday party last weekend, we showed up early to help get things ready. I helped out but once the party started I tried to chat with everyone and was kind of pushed aside, I specifically helped with cooking. My eldest sister got the credit and when I tried to point out I helped a little I got shushed. I think they don’t realize how hurtful it is and how much the older kids are being adored in comparison, and I want to point it out but feel it will be brushed off as me seeking attention.

WIBTA if I pointed it out? ######

Response: NTA, but be prepared for any possible back lash that my occurrence from your siblings/parents. And be sure to not sound accusatory, just state how you feel and don’t word in a way that makes it sound like your yelling at them. ######


Prompt: I am stripping the floors in my condo got association approval, during normal hours and my downstairs neighbor is banging on walls and on pipes and screaming. I am upgrading my wooden floors and changing cabinets. I tried to talk to him to tell him that this is temporary noise for the project but he yelled that "I drove him out and he called his landlord and said he is moving out in 30 days". I sorta feel guilty but I really didn't do anything wrong. Should I keep going and just ignore his rampant screams and banging? ######

Response: NTA, but as others have said he may be working from home.  It would be nice to find out and to agree to some working hours for the renovation (if he won’t compromise, then ignore him). ######


Prompt:
AITA? Last night a girl I don't know very well posted on social media asking if anyone had a specific converter for connecting a DSLR camera to a computer for sale. Price was her big concern.  I happen to be a professional photographer/videographer and I've made this type of connection hundreds of times with and without the converter she was looking. This is literally the field I worked in for 15+ years.

I sent her a message that pretty much just said "Hey! That specific converter is a bit pricey, you might want to consider a couple free/cheap alternatives that don't require a converter. I'd be happy to help you get it set up." She said that she didn't think it would work because of her camera and I just said "I thought the same with mine too but that camera works just fine with this software" and sent her a couple links to the software then thought nothing more of it.

Very soon after I answered her questions she made a post that was definitely targeted at me about "mansplaining" technology to her. Am I the asshole here? Did I do something wrong? ######

Response: NTA, but are you sure that post was about you? ######


Prompt:
Hi all. So I'm really looking for help.

About five months ago, I had a minor car accident where it was my fault. I moved forward at a junction, realised the car in front of me hadn't moved and skidded on wet ground when I tried to stop. My car actually had more damage then hers.

The problem came when she mentioned she was pregnant. Right at the end I wished her good luck with the baby and she said 'if I still have one after this'. I am someone who has a condition that makes me more prone to having a miscarriage, so that upset me. Still, we exchanged details, I tried to put it from my mind.

A few days after the accident, she texts me and says she's lost the baby. That completely broke me emotionally. I had to leave work that day. Multiple people told me it wasn't my fault. It's been in my head throughout everything that was going on.

Now to today. I was at the supermarket this morning, and recognized her in the aisle ahead of me... obviously pregnant. After a few minutes, I went over to her and greeted her. I could tell she recognized my face and couldn't place me. So I told her: "I'm the woman you had a car crash with and then told you lost your baby. Congratulations on the miracle regrow, by the way." She instantly looked panicked and walked away fast.

I really want her to have some repercussions for this. I'm tempted to contact her insurer (I still have the information on my phone) to make them aware. But I feel like that would make me an AH. So Reddit... WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA, but also a waste of your time. Since she didn’t have a miscarriage, your insurance didn’t pay out anything towards it (medical records would’ve been required). She said that because she was pissed off and either trying to be nasty or get money out of you directly. So, if you feel the need, go for it, but it won’t change anything financially. Honestly, you catching her unaware is probably the best revenge. ######