Prompt:
As if I wasn’t already the black sheep of the family!

I don’t know the deal with my parents generation and their proclivity to lying about our family tree, but I was raised being lied to until my real genetic father was dead, so I never got to meet him. Instead I was lead to believe that my sisters dad was also mine.  The truth came out as it often does, and a lot of things finally made sense.

Fast forward 20 years until I’m 32 years old, and just before my sisters dad dies, he revealed to me that my cousins (35F) real dad was his best friend in high school, and her real mom was his other sister. The younger sister gave the older one her baby and they let her believe that her aunt was her mom and vise-versa.

Now, he of all people had a solid understanding that I would relate deeply, and he had to know I wouldn’t keep the secret. However I also know he felt bad, because a couple days later, he asked me not to tell.

I told him I wouldn’t take any action until he was gone, but that I would not keep their secret from my cousin.

So, after he passed, I told his sisters that they could come clean, or I would tell my cousin the truth. (reminder that I have no real blood relation to these “aunts”, but they maintained each other’s lies throughout mine and my “cousins” childhood.)

They were argumentative, so I told my cousin.

Of course now my “aunts” hate me. However, my cousin got to meet her real father, and a half brother as a result.

Somebody I respect recently scolded me and said I was in the wrong, because it’s “none of my business” but I’m having a hard time seeing it that way.

AITA, and if so, why? ######

Response: NTA - I feel like a lot of people posting that you’re the asshole have never had to deal with anything similar. Depriving someone of knowing their biological family is really fucked up, and can lead to identity issues later on. You have your aunts time to tell her themselves, and it appears you have your cousin’s best interest at heart. A lot of people claim that it wasn’t your place, and although that’s technically true, it’s your aunts fault for lying in the first place. How old was your cousin when you told them? ######


Prompt:
So this just happened last week and I want to know if I am the AH.

Me (22F) and my friend (23f) decided we wanted to lose weight we both decided to just naturally bring in healthy alternatives to our diet and exercise and we both tried fad diets and failed every time.

We started this around the new year and I’ve continued to make sure to do the little things and ended up going down from an obese bmi to a overweight bmi, I know there is more work to do but I’m pretty happy with my results and showed off to Instagram.

So here is why I might be the AH:

My friend hasn’t been doing as well with her weight loss through no fault of her own, I did know this and have been trying to help her with things I’ve found work for me. I suggested maybe seeing a doctor as she really cannot shift the weight and I do wonder if it may be medical related, she got defensive about needing a doctor so I left it at that.

Then came the photo. As I said I posted my results to Instagram and she calls me crying saying I know how hard it is for her and I shouldn’t be flaunting my success in her face. I just wanted to show off how proud I am but now I feel like an AH because I did have it in the back of my mind that she may get upset.

So reddit AITA for posting my progress picture even though I knew my friends weight struggles? ######

Response: NTA - I feel bad for her but you worked hard and if you made progress you deserve to show it off. It's not like you're shoving it in her face and posting with the sole intent of making her feel bad ######


Prompt:
Ever since I was a kid, I have watched TV shows and movies with subtitles on. I don’t have any problems with my hearing at all, but without them I have a really hard time processing the dialogue. It’s really hard to explain. It’s just that when the dialogue is separated out from the rest of the noise and everything in the movie, I can understand everything that’s going on, so I really prefer it. My brother and other family members don’t love the subtitles.

Yesterday we were all going to sit down and watch a movie. It was a loud action movie. I requested that they put on the subtitles, that I’d really enjoy the movie more if they turned it on. My brother turned to me and said, I was being selfish, the subtitles ruin the movie for everyone else, and I don’t have any hearing problems so I should just sit down and shut up. I said I wasn’t trying to make waves I just really would understand the movie better if they turned them on. He again called me selfish, said that the subtitles are distracting and no “real director” wants them to be in a movie unless someone absolutely needs them to understand it. I was really upset at this point and he said, “I’m just sick of your shit, why don’t you just go to your room and everyone else can watch the movie?” Nobody, not even my parents, said anything at all, so they must have been really annoyed too. So I went upstairs and just heard them watching the movie and laughing and having fun.

AITA for requesting the subtitles? Nobody said anything so I think maybe I was being selfish...I don’t know. What do you guys think? ######

Response: NTA - I enjoy watching movies with subtitles too and I have no hearing issues. It's the same as you, it helps me understand the movie much better. There are movies I've seen in the cinema that I enjoy much better when I watch them again at home because when I watch them again I have subtitles and I can follow things much easier. Your brother is definitely the asshole for the way he reacted and spoke to you. ######


Prompt: A few months ago I found a pair of Birkenstock’s at a thrift store. The exact style and size I wanted, perfect condition, for $17. I couldn’t believe it! I have been searching for some for years. I lent them to my sister so she could wear them to the beach yesterday. She comes in the house barefoot and I don’t think much of it, they’re probably in her car or bag. I ask her later that night for them as I was heading out and she realizes she forgot them at the beach. She said they started to hurt her feet so she opted to go barefoot and must have left them on accident. She goes back to check but they were no where to be found. I’m upset, of course, but she didn’t mean it on purpose. They’re shoes and can be replaced. These shoes are $100 new. I told her she could give me money, or she could buy a new pair herself. She said it wasn’t fair that I only paid $17 and she’d have to pay so much more. The ones she lost were real leather, and I wanted her to buy the vegan leather as a replacement, as I don’t buy new leather. This is already saving her 30 to 40 bucks. I told her I’d be fine with a second hand pair in good condition, and told her of a few websites were she could find some. Even those were around $50-60 dollars and she didn’t want to pay it. I loved those sandals and barely even got a chance to wear them because it was still cold when I found them. AITA for making her pay for new sandals? ######

Response:
 NTA - I don't understand how anyone can be so forgetful as to leave shoes at a beach. Especially shoes she was borrowing. She owes you a new pair, plain and simple. It doesn't matter what you paid for them, they were your property. You've made suggestions and have even tried to keep reasonable pricing in mind. You're willing to accept second hand ones if the quality is there.

When you break, damage or lose someone else's property you have a responsibility to make it right as best you can. It sounds like she can, she has the means, she just doesn't want to. ######


Prompt:
For context: I am a 16 year old female, and I have very religious parents.

Since I was around 9, I started to become very, very uncomfortable when anyone touched me. Sometimes I thought that person might have a lot of germs, while other times it was because I would just get this heavy feeling in my chest and my brain screaming at me that I was uncomfortable and wanted to get away. Now, I live in an area where many, many people like to hug, even if they don't know you. A lot of people will ask my parents: "Wow, is your child ok? She's so rude she pushed me away when I tried to hug her," and they'll just respond with an "I know, right?" Hugging is honestly worse for me, because it feels like I can't get out, and I suddenly get very very anxious, and start trying to force my way out.

 Well, this morning, I woke up feeling particularly tired, and walked into the kitchen to get some breakfast. I wasn't in the best state of mind, since I stayed up until around 6am and woke up at 10. Suddenly, I feel my dad touch me, and I start telling him as nicely as I could to get off me, but he wouldn't, resulting in me basically screaming at him to get off me.

 He and my mother suddenly got very, very angry and told me that I was being horribly rude for not accepting their affection. They even brought up this one time I made my Grandmother on my dad's side cry because I didn't want her to kiss me/hug me when we left her house. They proceeded to be mad at me for a while, even passing passive aggressive comments on facebook, that would say something along the lines of "Wow, just wanted a bit of affection, but you know our daughter lol."
I know that they grew up in houses that really liked physical affection, but I really, really don't like it. Sometimes, I'm feeling like I'm neglecting them, but at the same time, I just want my space. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - I don't know the medical term forvthis, but there are lots of people who really have an aversion for being touched! I think you should look into it more or maybe ask your doctor. This isn't about you being a rude person, you have some sort of condition ######


Prompt: My dad wanted to take us all out for something, he said it was a surprise. For the past week I've had covid symptoms and I came down with a 100° fever yesterday. I told my dad that I wasn't feeling up to leaving the house and he kept trying to make me leave along with my siblings. I snapped and screamed at him and this prompted him to cancel the outing. My siblings won't talk to me and they keep saying pretty rude things now. Did I go too far? ######

Response: NTA - I don't care if he's uncanceled it, if you are sick, you shouldn't go ######


Prompt:
Here’s my situation: My wife (23f) and I (22m) had been trying for a baby for about a year and were having no luck.

One day my wife decides that it was a perfect time to tell me that she was infertile, this made me angry. We had been trying for almost no reason at all and all this disappointment was for absolutely no reason.

I yelled at her, which in hindsight was not a good decision. We apologized both apologized and I told her I was sorry and I shouldn’t have yelled at her.

The next morning she was in a happier mood than usual. I asked her about it and she explained this grand plan to fake her pregnancy. I told her it didn’t sound like a good idea. She got super defensive and angry and said that I shouldn’t take away the opportunity for here to feel like she has a child of her own.

I tried to explain that she would be messing with the emotions of others and it wouldn’t be fair to our family but she wouldn’t budge. We didn’t talk about it for around a month until a large package came in the mail, she was on an office retreat so I opened it ( we often open each others mail so this wasn’t abnormal )

I was shocked by what was inside, there were 9 silicon baby bellies and 4 silicon baby dolls. I thought it might have been a mistake and so I waited for her to get back.

When I confronted her about it she got SUPER angry she said that I am a selfish prick and I should mind my own ducking business. Obviously I was upset. later that night I was getting ready for bed when she kicked me out. This was my house she moved in to it and didn’t make any payments for it. What right did she have to kick me out of MY house.

I just went to a friends because I didn’t want to deal with the argument. When I got back I begged her to return the stuff and not pretend like she was pregnant. She got angry and threatened divorce.

This is where we are at now AITA? ######

Response: NTA - I do not think your wife is very well. ######


Prompt: My son is a 3rd grade elementary student going on his 4th week of online classroom due to the covids.  Today my wife received a call from the  principal saying another parent called reported that my son was a distraction because he was spinning in his chair.  I find it creepy that another parent would be watching all the students videos.  My son has been doing very good adapting and he has been staying on task with his scheduled daily assignments and online meeting times.   I called the teacher after work and the teacher said what my son did was not a big deal. I want to call the principal tomorrow to complain about the parent. ######

Response: NTA - I cannot believe the principal called you. Is this really the best use of the principal’s time? Ridiculous. ######


Prompt:
I'm 21M, and got a really good job a few months before lockdown, around the same time we both got a puppy together. I've been busy with work through lockdown, whereas my partner deffered study because A. she hates her degree anyway and B. she can't study online.

I've been arguably busier than ever, whereas she's been left to her own devices a lot more recently. Lately she's been getting upset that I'm not paying enough attention to her/spending enough time with her. We go to the park with our puppy twice a day for 1-2 hours each time, I cook her dinner and we watch a movie together every night. We go to a drive in theatre that's still open once a week, and have an average sex life.

I also start work at 6am every morning to maintain the lifestyle we have, because I was finishing too late most days when I worked 9-5 (I work from home full time.)

I decided to talk to her about this, because I personally feel like I dedicate a lot to our relationship. She basically said that she feels like dead weight around the house and has been putting more effort than ever into our relationship, basically all her focus. I, on the other hand, have been working really hard to have a diverse life of interests. So she's felt that on the evenings when I'm worn out from work, that I'm not giving her enough.

She said that she feels like she has to prove her value to me, to make herself feel like she has value. I told her that no matter how hard she tries to show me that she has value, she's never going to believe me when I tell her that she already has it. The only person that can make her feel like she has value is herself, it's unreasonable to expect that from me and makes me withdraw emotionally because it's stressful.

She spent the afternoon crying and hasn't really talked to me since. She got kind of mad at me for saying it? AITA? Is there an asshole here? I don't know. ######

Response: NTA - I can't think of a better way for you to have dealt with this, you did the exact right thing. It seems that the truth hurt, but that is not your problem and as you said, she is the only one that can make herself happy. ######


Prompt:
Jesus this is very, very weird.

So, for starters I am biracial (23F). African American and Hispanic.

So basically my roommate (24F) and I were talking and chilling together since none of us could go home.

We were talking about our respective partners and shit when she started telling me about her sex life. Normally I love to hear weird or fun stories about sex which people willingly share with me but this one was just really weird.

So apparently my roommate and her boyfriend have this kink called raceplay BDSM. Where my roommate pretends to be a black slave and her boyfriend pretends to be a slave owner. They're both very white.

I felt really uncomfortable when she went into the details and I told her to stop as it seemed very racist to me. I also told her that the kink is making me uncomfortable and told her to not talk about it with me in the future.

She waved off my request and kept reassuring me that it's nothing racist and I shouldn't be "triggered". She didn't stop even after I told her to so I got upset and went back to my room.

She isn't talking to me and it's all very stressful to me in this situation, I want to know if I was in the wrong so I could apologise.

I don't know what to feel about this tbh.

AITA for calling my friend racist for having a certain kink?

Edit: I should add that I try to be a non-judgmental person in most cases and I usually listen to her sex stories without any judgement. I feel bad for alienating her like this, this is why I posted this here. ######

Response: NTA - I can't even imagine being so broke-brained that I'd bring up my raceplay kink to a biracial person. Or bring it up at all to anyone. ######


Prompt:
Throughout our time together, my SO told me that she was allergic to peanuts. I made sure that all of our dishes didn’t contain peanuts, and that I would only eat them outside of the house.

Yesterday, her lie got found out. My parents gave me some Indian food, they’re Indians, I was going to label that the Biryani had peanuts, but I guess I had a brain fart. She began to eat it. I knew something was wrong when I saw her eating it, when I suddenly realized what happened.

I literally tossed her spoon from her hand. I told her that the Biryani has peanuts in it. She just goes “Oh, I’m not allergic to peanuts; I just hate the taste of it”. I was really mad; she was lying about such an important thing. I’ve been unnecessarily taking extra precautions so she doesn’t even breathe in peanut particles. She’s calling me an asshole for being mad at her.

She lied throughout our entire relationship. I don’t know what other things she has lied about. Is her name really Rebecca? Is she really a woman?

But seriously, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - I can kind of understand the initial lie, because a lot of the time when you say you don't like an ingredient people try to convince you that you'll love it the way they use it. But even if it seemed like a small lie to her, it's something she should have explained as your relationship became more serious.

Also, you went to great lengths to accommodate what you believed to be her allergy and she shouldn't have let that continue. ######


Prompt: Basically I've had suspicions for a while she has been secretly using my perfume. For Christmas my fiancé bought me an £80 bottle of perfume and my dad bought me a £110 designer bottle of perfume (my mum and dad are divorced). When I got these my mum swore that she would not use them because of how expensive they were and that they were mine. She has about 20 bottles of perfume herself but they're all in the cheaper range (£5-£40). Anyway I kept noticing that my perfume boxes have been moving or the perfume inside has changed position. I asked if shes used it and she says no. I decided to hide the perfume and leave the boxes there, if shes not been using them then she won't know they're gone. Since then my mum has been in an absolute pissy with me but won't tell me what's up. I checked the boxes and once again they have moved so I can guess she knows I've hid them. My problem is the fact that she does not spray just a small amount she must use at least 10-15 sprays to just sit downstairs in. If shes going out its 20+. So far since Christmas she has used up 8 full bottles of perfume! She doesn't even ask me if she can use them too she just runs out of the house quickly before I can smell her. I have lots of cheaper and normal priced perfumes which she has bought me in the past but she never uses them, it's always my most expensive ones that she hasn't bought. ######

Response:
 NTA - I bought my gf an expensive 100 euros bottle and she barely uses it on special occasions and as little as possible.

She would set fire to the house if someone else would just touch that bottle. I can understand. ######


Prompt: My (30f) husband (33m) loves tennis. I’ve had 2 failed pregnancies, first one was last year (bad heart at 19 wks), second one was yesterday (10 wk embryo stopped developing). So I need to go to the hospital tomorrow afternoon to have the tissue removed. My husband asks if he can play tennis in the morning since it’s a nice day. He will still drive me to the procedure. Context: last time I lost a pregnancy at 19 weeks, he  played golf the day after we got the bad news. I’ve since then told him I wish he hadn’t done that and I don’t want him to play tennis this time. My reason? This is crushing for me. This is not/should not be a happy time for us. No he cannot go out and have fun. It’d be like if his granny died and I asked can I go to the spa. Don’t make me suffer alone. So I said no to tennis this time and he still wants to that he asked me again and again. I’m at my wits end. I’m about to have something taken out of my body and am I the asshole for not wanting my husband to go out and enjoy his favorite hobby? ######

Response:
 NTA - I bet he’d be disappointed if she went to the spa the day after he had so much as a simple vasectomy, let alone, if he went in for something far more emotionally and physically serious.

 “Coping mechanism” isn’t an excuse; if they lost a child or even a step son that was only biologically his, and she elected to “cope” this way, even if to deal with her own grief, *by playing games with her other friends* when her husband was alone at home and desperately needed her support, people wouldn’t be so quick to excuse her behavior.

When a man backs out of supporting his wife through a loss or failed conception, people seem to get far more motivated to seek out and validate his excuses.

There really aren’t even any analogies, that are remotely comparable to what she’s experiencing first hand, which is why he should probably wake up and stop being so selfish... even if avoiding her for his usual frivolities, and games, is just how he “copes” with challenging times. ######


Prompt:
My (21F) boyfriend (26M) plays video games until the early hours of the morning most nights. I've suffered from depression for as long as we have been together (2 years), and disruptions to my sleep negatively impact my mental health. I've explained this to my boyfriend and asked him to be quieter when he comes to bed, but nothing has changed.

He is loud when he plays his video games, often yelling and chasing, and when he comes to bed he often wants to cuddle and talk to me (which otherwise would be fine, but not at 2am when I am trying to sleep).

With classes etc being online now, it's important for me to sleep at a reasonable hour and wake up at a reasonable hour (i.e., 10pm to 7-8am), otherwise I will get into the habit of sleeping all day and my mental health always worsens.

WIBTA for asking him to sleep on the couch on nights he wants to stay up really late, rather than inevitably waking me up when he comes to bed? I feel like this might be a bit extreme, but my sleep is very closely tied to my mental health and I have been struggling as a result of being woken up so often. ######

Response: NTA - I (30/F) sleep like a 80 yr old grandpa. I snore loud as f*ck, especially when stressed or tired. So on days where the husband (30/M) has to go into work at 5AM for IT emergencies, he lets me know and he volunteers to sleep elsewhere or I volunteer to sleep elsewhere the night before. It's respectful and considerate of eachother. ######


Prompt:
My friend has recently bought her first house and has asked me to move in with her because she realised she doesn’t like living alone. I won’t be moving in until June/July and in the meantime she has gotten two kittens to keep herself company.

I love animals, and I don’t have an issue with her getting kittens. As far as I’m concerned, it’s her house and she can do what she wants, especially when I’m not even living there yet. My concern is that she has been talking about chores and taking care of the cat food and litter would be on my list of things to do.

I pet sit frequently for other people, and I find cats are always the one animal I don’t particularly love cleaning up after. The general smell of their food and waste doesn’t sit well with me (keep in mind I grew up on an animal farm so I’m not being precious about smells. It’s just cats).

I mentioned this and tried to point out that me moving in wouldn’t automatically make them my pets too. They are her cats and would still be her responsibility. I would be more than happy to help should she need it or step up when she is absent, but I don’t think I should have to worry about them day to day.

My friend is pushing me on the subject, so I just wanted to know where other people stand. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - How in the world did she think HER cats suddently became YOUR problem. There are plenty of other chores you can do around the house. If she is getting tired of caring for them, she shouldn't have gotten them. It's not fair to push that on you. ######


Prompt:
My (19M) friend (20M) likes to bake. He’s made some cakes and other desserts for people and has transported it to peoples’ door step safely throughout the pandemic. Right now, I am living at home with my parents due to the quarantine. He offered to bring me some brownies, and I agreed and thanked him. I also let him know that I am deathly allergic to peanuts, and he told me not to worry.

Later, the brownies are dropped off, and I thank him again. I decide to share them with my family because it was a pretty big pan. My mom ate one, then quickly let me know that it tasted like peanut. I texted my friend and told him what my mom said, just to confirm. He responded by telling me that “he forgot” about my allergy, despite my warning that they could kill me.

I got really angry. I told him that he could have killed me, and I was lucky that I wasn’t the first to eat one. He replied by telling me that it was just a simple misunderstanding, and that my anger was unjustified. I told my parents, and my mom thinks I overreacted, but my dad took my side. My other friends seem pretty divided as well. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - how could he forget? You told him you could die, a good friend would have made sure it didn't even come close to peanut. ######


Prompt:
I (22F) went to visit a friend who needed some help from Thursday morning to Sunday evening. I asked my mom to look after my cat (visit in the evening, feed/give water/scoop litter) while I was gone. I always look after her dog when she's on vacation, so it was fine.

When I came back I found out she had reorganized my kitchen, including the insides of the cabinets. She threw out my 'normal' brush I use to scrub dishes (the one next to the dish soap, on the counter) and dug out my other brush (all the way in the back of the cabinet with cleaning supplies) and had used that to wash her coffee cup thursday to sunday. Apperently she thought it was a back up brush?

Problem is I use that brush for deep cleaning the litter box once a week. She was disgusted (understandably so) when I told her, and wanted me to apologize for not warning her about the brush.

I didn't apologise, she had no reason to go though my cabinets and reorganize my kitchen, she doesn't live here. There was no way she could have used the wrong brush if she didn't insist on snooping.

That was Sunday, we haven't talked very much since then. AITA for not apologising/not telling her? ######

Response: NTA - how are you going to know what she’s going to do? She should have discussed what she planned so you could have known to warn her. The breakdown of information flow is on her. ######


Prompt:
Bit of context: my sister is abusive as all hell. She’s thrown me into walls and belittles me every chance she gets, and yet expects me to like her.

I got married in late July last year. My husband and I agreed to a family-and-closest-friends wedding almost immediately, since family alone was almost 50 people and it would be in his parents back yard. We also agreed that we didn’t want more than just the best man and maid of honor up there with us. I immediately asked my best friend to be my maid of honor. When I went to try on dresses it was just my mother, sister, and my husband’s sister as my best friend was out of town. On the way there, we were talking about the dress for my best friend. At this point I hadn’t even had a chance to tell my sister about the decision as this was only a week after getting engaged and I had been so busy. While talking about the styles my best friend had found for her dress, my sister asked “well is it going to look good on everyone?” which is when I had to tell her she wouldn’t be in the wedding. She was mad, which I understand. She was so cold to everyone during the dress appointment and only looked kind of happy when I found my dress. It made the whole thing really awkward. After that she wasn’t very involved in the planning. I offered for her to get ready with us on the day of the wedding and she refused and the day of she clearly wasn’t very happy and left without saying goodbye right after pictures were done. I got comments from a couple of people throughout the planning process that I should have had her in the wedding, but why would I want someone who has hurt me that badly up there with me? I keep questioning if I made the right choice. AITA for not wanting her up there? ######

Response:
 NTA - Honestly, I'm tired of people thinking you have to deal with toxic people just because they're your blood. If she treated you badly in the past, and she isn't a big part of your support system today, she shouldn't feel entitled just because she's your sister. Also, it is your big day, so it's not really about her.

Really, ask yourself if you really want her to be a part of it. If your gut-feeling is no, then you don't have to stand for it. You really don't need to explain why you think so to anyone. It's about you. ######


Prompt:
Ok so basically I live with my brothers, the oldest is my legal guardian so when they have girlfriends/partners I usually meet them and get to know them.

A couple of months back, my oldest brother (S) was dating a girl (P) and they were pretty serious until she cheated on him and he broke up with her immediately. Before the breakup P and I got on well, we went shopping together and got coffee- she was always pretty nice to me.
However, after my brother broke up with her I didn’t want to keep spending time with her. Yeah, she was a nice girl, but we weren’t that close and I’m always 100% going to put S’s feelings before P’s. After she suggested just a few weeks ago that we should hang out I blew her off and made up some random excuse, but she was persistent and didn’t stop calling/texting me to try and hang out. It was just weird- we’d hung out maximum three times before.

I finally got fed up and when she called me I told her that she and my brother weren’t together, and I had no interest in being friends with someone over ten years older than I am. She immediately started crying and said that I was like a younger sister to her, and she cared so much about me. I was weirded out and hung up the phone, but she messaged S and basically told him that I had been really mean to her when she was just checking up on me. He didn’t really believe her, but when he told me about it I was mad and I messaged her to say that I was blocking her and she shouldn’t contact me again.

Now I’m wondering if I should’ve been nicer, but she crossed a boundary and that’s not really okay.
What should I do? AITA? ######

Response: NTA - Hey behavior was very inappropriate. She was breaking boundaries and was probably trying to use you as a way to get back with your brother. ######


Prompt:
AITA for telling my friend to see a therapist instead of coming to me with her mental health problems?

My childhood friend has been struggling from mental health issues for the past 2-3 years. She refused to see a therapist (even had a fight with her parents about it), but she’s comfortable talking with me, so I’ve taken on the role of unofficial therapist.

We normally talked at my house after school, but I was working on college applications at the time and dealing with mental health issues and family troubles of my own, so I told her that I didn’t have time anymore.

We still talked at school, and she seemed okay with that, but after a few weeks she started calling me late at night and showing up unannounced. Whenever I said I was busy, she‘d wait at my doorstep until I let her in out of guilt.

I eventually told her to talk to her parents and find a real therapist, but she said that she hates her parents and doesn’t trust therapists. She also didn’t want to speak to her other friends because “she didn’t want to bother them”.

Then I snapped and told her if she didn’t want to bother her friends, then why was I the exception? I said that I had my own problems and responsibilities to handle, and I couldn’t manage her mental state when my own wasn’t even stable.

She cut off all connections with me. Later her boyfriend messaged me and said that I shouldn’t have abandoned my friend when her problems became “too inconvenient” for me. I told him that I was never qualified to be a therapist in the first place, and that being one had made my own mental health problems worse. He said I was just making excuses. ######

Response:
 NTA - Her mental health isn't your responsibility. Putting that burden (and yes it is a burden to put your mental health on someone else) on you is horrible.

I get that it's hard for her, but it's not your job to help her. She's not going to get anywhere with her problems without getting a therapist. Also who TF is her boyfriend and why isn't HE helping her? Honestly fuck him. She's not your girlfriend, she's not even a good friend.

She's pressuring you to take on all her problems and it's obviously negative to your own health. Cut her off, she's toxic, tell her she can come back and talk to you when she starts acting like a grown up and agrees to go to therapy.

I have tons of friends who've gone through bad shit and yes, I've been there for them when they needed me, but they never dumped their shit on me and they reached out for help from therapist when they could. And they're doing great now. ######


Prompt:
So my husband (50) and I (47F) have four kids, two 13 year olds, a 15 year old and an 18 year old. Both me and my husband work long hours, especially now because both our companies have been affected by everything going on. Despite this, my husband or I try to cook a healthy meal every night for the family. Usually we try and cook at home 6 nights a week and then eat out or sometimes get fast food on Fridays.

Sometimes though neither of us really want to cook, so we dont. We call these nights "fend for yourself night". The kids can really just make whatever they want, as long as they don't tear up to kitchen. This probably happens maybe once or twice a month at the most.

 I personally think that the kids are old enough to cook their own food or make a sandwich. But according to a woman I know, I might as well be starving them. Shes very much a helicopter mom to her three kids, (15F, 17M, 20M) and still does almost everything for them. Even the 20 year old. I find this ridiculous but they arent my kids so I mind my own business. We were on the phone the other night and she asks why I am talking and not busy cooking. I told her that I was very tired from work so we were having a 'fend for yourself night' and I had just had cereal. She starts getting very agitated with me and asks me why I am starving my kids. I told her that my kids usually help cook every night so if they want, they can cook something but they probably are going to have cereal as well. She started getting very mad at me about not cooking my children a meal and how they are not going to be able to eat because I am such a bad and lazy mother. I ended up ending the call by telling her that maybe in her family her almost adult children cant cook a simple meal, but my children are more than capable of doing so. I do feel bad whenever both my husband and I are too tired to cook a meal for my kids but I feel like they should be old enough to get their own food right? AITA for 'starving my kids'? ######

Response:
 NTA - her kids will probably end up being the ones who burn ramen noodles in a college dorm because they never learned how to do anything for themselves.

Its not wrong to not cook every single night for your kids who are old enough to cook for themselves or make a sandwich. ######


Prompt:
Just happend a couple of hours ago so I'm still trying to process what just happend. For context, my mother has a history of emotional outbursts. Its even worse when she is drinking. Everytime my parents get into an argument we always suggest getting a divorce because how ugly it gets. Now on to the main issue. I came home from work yesterday with my younger brother telling me that mom hid the car keys(again) and that she was drunk. I walk inside to see my parents arguing. Things were getting pretty heated. A lot of yelling, hitting and throwing things. My dad tried to end the argument by walking away but she just kept following him around the house. The next thing I know is my sister was trying to hide any knives in the house telling me that she was worried that she might hurt herself or others. My dad then tells me to call the police because she was jumping infront of the car parked in our driveway. I rush upstairs to my room to call the police and I stayed there until I knew it was safe. Once I came downstairs I heard screaming and I rushed to see my mom in handcuffs. There was a lot of crying when she was taken away. I felt really gulty feeling like I tore this family apart. My dad bailed her out of jail and is staying at a hotel. She told me that she now has a record for assult and that she hopes I'm happy now. I just feel like I destroyed this family.
AITA? ######

Response: NTA - her actions got her arrested and got her a record. All you did was protect your family from future abuse ######


Prompt:
I know this sounds stupid; but hear me out. My (26f) husband (26m) works over 60+ hours a week, he’s in a second step manager position (he’s like second in charge), he purposely schedules it this way so his other associates don’t have to work 12+ hour days and instead he takes those hours to be nice to them because of whatever sob story they give him.

We have two boys under 3 that are missing and needing their dad, he sees them for maybe 1.5 hours a day before he showers and leaves.

His health is starting to get bad, he’s not eating much, and I’m worried he’s going to start getting ulcers or a heart attack from how stressed he is. Plus his temperament has been really aggressive.

He promised me that in the new schedules he would take only 40 hours, and work on his health and bond with the kids. And tonight he calls me and tells me not to be mad but he has to take more hours again because it’s unfair that so and so has to do more than their 8, but it’s somehow okie doki for him to work himself to death!

So I told him that I was really upset he went back on his word, and that it makes me feel like he doesn’t respect my opinion; he said I was being jerk and he’s working to support the family.

I work too and I can easily get more hours to account for whatever he feels we’re lacking on his paycheck, plus our savings is great! We could seriously survive for a couple of months on just my paycheck alone, we’d just have to cut our junkfood, buying movies on iTunes, and Ubereats.

Am I TA here for getting upset? ######

Response: NTA - he’s only using “supporting the family” as a cover-up excuse to overwork. Ask him this, if he’s so willing to be nice to his colleagues and sacrifice his time and himself for them, why can’t he do the same for his family instead? ######


Prompt:
We just had an argument over it. Out of courtesy I wait until 9-10am to grind coffee. Before that, since I'm up around 6am, I drink instant.

&#x200B;

Its worked out during the week. He's up early to wfh so it doesn't matter. But its saturday and he thinks I'm an asshole for doing anything noisy before noon. I think he needs to get earplugs or something if hes going to sleep so late. You can't expect quiet during daylight while everyone is stuck at home ######

Response:
 NTA - he’s not the only person in the apartment whose schedule matters.  If he made a habit of sleeping in til 2pm, would he expect you to be silent until then?  10 am is a perfectly reasonable cutoff for quiet hours to be over.

Dude needs to go live by himself, if he wants to be the only one who matters. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account.

So, this happened a couple of days ago. I asked a couple of friends about this, and one of them suggested I should write and ask about it here. I’m not a native speaker, so excuse my mistakes.

I (26F) have a 2 year old son. I was having a conversation with a friend and mentioned that my son doesn’t really like to shower, but loves baths, so when I do prepare a bath for him we usually bathe together. I bring all kinds of toys and cups, because he loves to spill water on himself and even more when he splashes it at my face. If you ask me it’s a win-win situation. I can wash my hair and his at the same time, and he loves the play time with me in there.

The response I got was not what I expected. She looked actually disgusted. She said what I was doing is very inapropriate especially because he is a boy and that I’m emotionally and possibly sexually abusing my son. I disagreed and we had a huge fight. When I told my other friend what happened she said she sees her point and maybe I shouldn’t do this anymore.

I am so confused and I’m wondering if AITA for bathing with my son? Am I abusing him? ######

Response: NTA - He's only two. I'd be worried more about your friends assuming a sexual element to it. ######


Prompt:
i (18F) have had a pretty large chest since i was like 14 and it’s quite a pain. my mother is helpful, she helps pay for bras and clothes to fit me especially now because i don’t have a way to get money during the quarantine. both my parents occasionally show concern if i look particularly uncomfortable, but my father voices his ‘concern’ more often than my mother.

i absolutely understand and can assure you that it 100% does not come from a sexual place yet his comments are always so ignorant and immature especially for a man who’s almost 50 now and has been married to a woman for like 28 years. for example, the most recent incident was about a week ago, i was in a bikini and innocently discussing something with my mother when my father interjects with something along the lines of ‘i can’t imagine dealing with that weight on my chest! that top doesn’t even look like it fits!’ the comments range from at least partially constructive to very objectifying. i tell my dad whenever he makes these comments that it really is weird and he has no business making comments like this, but it always ends up in him screaming at me that ‘he’s the parent and i’m the child’.

i do understand that where he’s coming from mostly stems from concern, and i know i shouldn’t argue as much with my father, but am i the asshole here? is he just being helpful? ######

Response: NTA - He's not just "being helpful" because for that to be the case, his comments would need to be constructive in the first place. It makes you feel uncomfortable and it's not his place to make comments because a.) he doesn't know what he's talking about and b.) you have your mother to help you with those types of issues. Him being the parent has nothing to do with it. Ask your mom to sort things out with him; maybe then he'll see reason. ######


Prompt:
My husband of almost 9 yrs (who suffers from untreated anxiety and depression-m, age 36) wants us to sell our house and move our family(two sons in elementary) across the country to live in a lower cost state so he can have more land and flexibility to start his mini farm or whatever other business he fancies. It would mean leaving two good paying stable jobs, a great small community with a great school district and all of my family including my aging 70 yr old parents. And I just don't want to. His goals are noble as he wants to live debt free and find a job he is more passionate about in a state with a lower cost of living. He thinks this will make him happy but it means giving up my entire life to move to a state where the only people we know are his family. He is potentially able to work remotely in his field or get another job but my career field is harder to break into after relocation which would mean I probably wouldn't work and would be giving up my career.

And one important fact to consider is that we tried this five years ago- moving to his more affordable home state to be near his family. We ended up moving back to my home state because we weren't happy. This is where we live currently.

This disagreement in our marriage is causing major issues and he's been depressed but I still am not convinced that he would be happy even if we did move. He just isn't very nice to me which makes it hard for me to consider giving up so much on the slight chance this move would make him happy especially when he hasn't been willing to seek conventional treatment for his depession. Aita for refusing to move to try to make him happy? ######

Response:
 NTA - He's not going to be happy anywhere if he doesn't get treatment. I also have anxiety and depression and I day dream a looot about different plans on what I think will fix me but that's not how it works.
Also you shouldn't have to up and move just because that's what he wants to do. ######


Prompt:
Right now my fiance and I are living with my best friend from high school and her husband. They and my fiance have some life differences (no details but nothing major, mainly they're all bullheaded and won't listen to each other). My fiance wants to move out and get on our own. I'm all for it until he said the place he wants to move to won't allow pets and we have a 55 pound border collie mix we picked up as a stray. I refuse to move anywhere without her. She is my kid. I can't abandon her. She has no say in this at all. Everyone I've talked to is 50/50 on this.

We are under no pressure but my fiance own want to get our own place quickly. He's lived on his own before and I have not. I just can't intentionally move someplace and give up my dog if there are other options. ######

Response: NTA - he's looked at just one place? Only one place? Why not more? Why isn't he looking for a place that can accommodate a dog (i assume he is familiar with said dog)? Seems like he hasn't got your best interests at heart. Don't move without your dog. ######


Prompt:
So my son (16M) has developed this "*little habit*" of either throwing cutlery out or leaving it under his bed to go mouldy and mo matter how much you boil those of- you dont exactly want to eat off them anymore, I'm done spending and spending and spending just for them to be chucked.

So, I got him reusable  ones (they're basically made out of straw and wheat?) instead and told him to chuck them out as much as he wants, if he manages to reuse them then he can be trusted to eat off normal cutlery.

He said I was "putting him down" pulling a "power move" "degrading him" and all that etc, he's currently moody in his bedroom.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - he's limiting the rest of the family's use of normal cutlery by throwing them out and causing a potential health hazard by leaving them to grow mouldy under his bed. If he wants to treat normal cutlery like disposable cutlery then getting him disposable cutlery is fine IMO. ######


Prompt:
I (22F) have a severely autistic brother who i intend to take care of for the rest of my life. I have very strict immigrant parents who have recently discovered that i have been dating a half-Australian, half-Vietnamese guy (22M) and my father (55M) has threatened to take my mother (51F) and brother away from me and move to another city if i don't break up with him.  At the end of the year regardless of my decision to stay or go my entire family will be moving to another city.

My father has always been very controlling, when it comes to who i'm friends with, where i go, what i study and what i wear. After 4 years he's finally agreed that i don't have to study medicine and that i'm allowed to study Radiography like i originally intended to before university.

My father has said that if i agree to do what he wants and move to Adelaide with the rest of the family then as long as i am 100% honest with him, so essentially he approves who i'm friends with, what degree i do and who i date he won't be as angry and won't be as controlling.

I don't believe that he'll change and think i'm just destined to be miserable for the rest of my life. However if i leave i'll never get to see my mother or brother again and i really don't want that, and also everyone is telling me that i would be selfish to leave because my parents raised me for 21 years and i would just be abandoning them.

So WIBTA?

TLDR:  Father doesn't like who i'm dating and is threatening to take my mum and brother away from me and never let me see them again if i don't dump my boyfriend and move to a new city with them. WIBTA if i leave? ######

Response: NTA - He will come up with another way of controlling you and will most likely try to pick your husband for you.  It may end up being someone you are not attracted to at all.  Plus if you give in then he will know your weakness and exploit it any chance he gets.  He will not change and the sooner you learn that the better things will get. ######


Prompt: Hello, i'm a 24 year old Man, and recently somethings happened, i recently moved in to a new neighborhood, and started recycling my trash, and even bought special trash bins for that, no longer after, my neighbour started saying that my "hippie trash" was appearing at his frontyard, and demanded that i payed him to clean it, or put a special blocking fence so that any racoons did the same thing again, i got confused because there were no racoons along the neighborhood, but i payed him and built the fencing, and even started to think about getting cameras, the next week my neighbour said the same thing, and said he was calling the cops if i didn't do anything, i paid him again, cleaned his frontyard and decided to instal cameras, three days after i installed the cameras, i woke up with him almost breaking my door because of trash again, i tried to calm him down while he started calling the cops, i then checked the cameras to discover that not only it wasn't racoons, but himself was taking my trash, and putting in his frontyard so i could pay him and clean, i lost almost 2,000 dollars in him, and i got furious, i knocked on his door, and asked if he had called the cops, he said he didn't did it "yet", so i called them myself, after showing the recordings and explaining the story, he was arrested and was taken away, but now i feel guilty, (i forgot to say he has a 3 year old daughter, that he takes care alone), i don't know if i did right, so, Am i the asshole? ######

Response: NTA - he was the one who chose to scam you, now he needs to pay for it ######


Prompt:
This is a short story, I live in England, born and raised, a friend of mine who I've known for years since we were in primary school once asked me if he could use my debit card to buy the DLCs for Grand Theft Auto IV on his XBOX 360, I agreed for him to do it He then returned my card to me and said he would pay be back. e didn't. He left my card details on his xbox for a couple of months making unauthorised purchases, to the point when my bank statement came in and it showed tonnes of money being poured out from my account, I then confronted him showing him the bank statements, I then went on his XBOX and I found my card details still there. I was pissed off at him for doing this as in REALLY PISSED I then removed my card, I then called up Microsoft asking them to refund my money and they kindly did, I then cutoff contact with him and never saw him again.
Last I heard of him was when I tried to contact me i then blocked him. Haven't heard of him in ages.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA - he was taking advantage of the trust your friendship developed, then repeatedly disregarded how his actions affected you when using your stuff.

as an xbox user, i'm very aware of any purchase i make b/c i hate spending money. I can only image the heightened awareness when using someone else card information.

also, as someone who's loaned small amounts of money to friends, i learned after the 20th or 30th time that it causes more problems than just refusing or keeping the belief that  i never have additional funds.

You made a good move to remove a person that takes advantage of relationships. ######


Prompt:
 First post, bear with me.

I don't know if I'd classify my dad as a full-on Karen, but he definitely toes the line. The classic leave-the-mess-because-it's-their-job, ask-for-the-manager-if-the-food-is-late type. What really annoys me is that he never says please or thank you. I know it's not a big deal per se, but I think it's just basic manners and I call him out on it sometimes. I don't do it in front of the waiter, so it's not like I'm publicly humiliating him or anything, but he still gets very defensive.

Most recently, I reminded him again to say please after ordering (probably not in the most respectful tone, I'll admit) and he just glared at me and said, "I don't understand why you have to criticize me on everything I do." I assume he said that because earlier in the meal I had asked him to not chew with his mouth open (which is another thing I've asked of him to not do a thousand times before, but that's a post for another day).  Am I being unreasonable? Should I just give up? AITA? ######

Response: NTA - he should definitely be showing more respect to everyone else, and needs to be called out on it. Also eating with an open mouth is disgusting. ######


Prompt: My dad's almost 50. The girl was a college cheerleader for a sports team, and the daughter of a family friend. As far as I can tell she's like 24 at most, and she could have easily passed for younger. Like, if I saw her in my high school I would have totally thought she was a senior or something. I'm 15. My dad was talking about her and was like "oh, she's hot" and was basically being really weird. I think it's kinda creepy to say things like that when there's that big of an age difference, not to mention the whole family friend thing. I told him as much. He got mad at me and said "what's the problem, we're all adults, it's not creepy at all". I personally think that that saying things like that definitely gives creepy old guy vibes at the very least, and that it's very inappropriate and disrespectful to say things like that about the daughter of a family friend. Like, life's not a porno, man, have some standards. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - he reacted like that specifically because you're right ######


Prompt: AITA? Today husband was waiting for me in the car while I took my kid in or a dr appointment. While waiting, he needed to use the bathroom and decided to use my coffee cup to relieve himself. We both have reusable cups and mine was empty and his had a small amount of old coffee that he isn’t going to drink anymore. Also, dr office is a short walk away and would let him use the bathroom if he asked. Am I unreasonable I be pissed that he used my cup to piss in?  No matter how much he cleans it, it just seems totally inconsiderate to use my stuff like that. ######

Response: NTA - He PEED in your CUP!? That is so disgusting, disrespectful, and rude. He has no regard for your things if he can just desecrate them like that. You have *every* right to be pissed off, I mean that's so gross! He's a grown man who could have gone literally anywhere else to relieve himself. He made a repulsive decision, and I sure hope you gave him a really stern talk. If it was me, I would dipped. ######


Prompt:
I grew up with an air hockey table. My parents got it for my older sister when I was 5 years old. So, I grew up playing the game. Naturally, I'm pretty decent at it and I absolutely love to play

My husband and I were at the boardwalk when we noticed a air hockey table. Of course I dragged him over so we can play.

He immediately started smack talking me. He used to play in high school, he always won in high school, he was the best player of his group, it wasn't Blah fair because he'd dominate me....BLAH BLAH

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

So, I let him win the first game. It was best out of 10 oh, so the first game didn't cost me anything and it allowed me to learn his play style

He didn't win another game oh, he didn't score another Point either

He was so upset. He says it's unfair but I didn't tell him that I was so good at it oh, he says it was unfair that I let him win so easily the first game. He still says that I cheated and rigged the table somehow. And 5 years later he still refuses to play air hockey with me

Though he did watch and laugh as I demolished his baby brother ######

Response:
 NTA - he needs to grow up. It's a game. I, for one, would be hilariously humbled and impressed at being so roundly beaten.

If I was going to get into any sort of argument, it'd be where to put the air hockey table we're gonna buy so I can practice. ######


Prompt: My dad recently laughingly told us a story about how almost 20 years ago he took a job in a different state, listed and sold the house without my moms knowledge. My mom only found out because a friend of theirs was looking for a new house in the area and her agent showed her my parents house. At the time my oldest sibling was 5, my second sibling was 3 and I was only a few months old. My mom had just quit her job because the pay was about the same as paying for childcare. My dad I guess thought that since he was the one working, it was only his decision on if the entire family moved or not. When my mom found out I guess she took me to a friends house for a few days, but ultimately went back and went along with the move. The entire time my dad is telling this story, it’s clear he thinks it’s hilarious. I thought it was upsetting, especially as I new how much my mom loved the area they lived and the friends they had-she still talks about it to this day as being some of the happiest times. It really pissed me off how funny he found it. So I said “well if I was in moms position, I would have Divorced you” Apparently I over stepped. My dad got really defensive and said that if he hadn’t done it, then he wouldn’t have eventually landed the well paying position he is in today-and that I should be grateful. I tried to explain that it wasn’t that he took the job it’s that he made all the decisions without her, and now thinks it’s funny. I do feel a little guilty as my parents are currently really rocky, but were having a good day. Now my mom is upset with him, because she heard him laughing about it. I think he took it as me taking her side with everything or just stirring up trouble. That wasn’t my intention at all- and I really don’t want to them to go back to arguing. However, I did think it was wrong- and I definitely would file for divorce if I’m every in a similar situation. Should I have just kept my mouth shut? It’s definitely starting to feel like I should have. ######

Response: NTA - He likely got defensive because it brought up some old wounds. He likely realizes you're right on the inside, but he doesn't want to acknowledge it. It seems like this pattern of disregarding your mother's wishes has been an ongoing issue in the marriage, and the fact that it's pretty clear to people outside likely makes him insecure. ######


Prompt:
Obviously I sound awful but hear me out.
I dated this man from the age of 22 until I was 29. He had a major anger problem but I didn’t know it was drug related until a few years before I ended the relationship.
I picked him up from a clinic he said was for anger management, turned out it was for his coke problem, but I didn’t know that at the time.
We had sexual relations after I had been broken up with him for about a year. and it is so frustrating because it was one time out of many months of dealing with him and to my horror and dismay I became pregnant.
I aborted the baby immediately. Left him and moved on. Have husband now that I love and neither of us want kids.
Fast forward 6-7 years. Bumped into ex locally while shopping, it was really shocking. He asked how I was, I said wonderful etc. Next thing I know he is saying how lucky and successful he is, how I (couldn’t ) bare children? He kept harping on the fact that me and my partner don’t have kids and assumed it was bc we weren’t able.. my anger grew and grew until
I said, “I aborted your first child, because you were a coke head”
My husband was shocked, everyone was shocked and I was ashamed. But my ex was so abusive and I could not hold back because he acted so smug. ######

Response: NTA - he lied to you about his coke problem, then he was rude to you for absolutely no reason when he saw you years later, as far as I’m concerned all you did was 1) correct his misinformation and 2) state facts. I’m dying to know though, after the initial shock, what was his reaction? ######


Prompt:
Some background: my family doesn't regularly eat dessert, so my daughter has to "earn" dessert by doing a good job with dinner. She's 4, so she has about a 60% success rate. In a COVID-19 world, we shop once every three weeks. The weekend before my daughter's birthday, her dad bought two 6-pack boxes of strawberry shortcake bars, and when we unloaded them, she got excited, and he said he bought them because he knows she likes them

Tonight, my daughter does a good job with dessert and asks for one of these strawberry bars, which she hasn't had yet (due to choosing other options and/or not earning dessert that night). Dad says he ate them all (he eats a lot of snacks after LO goes to bed). Daughter is upset, and I'm incredulous. He says, "It's been two weeks! What was I supposed to do?" I say, "Save one for your daughter! That's what you're supposed to do!"  Dad says super passive aggressively, "Of course. Whatever everyone else needs." I laugh a little at this and say, "What are you talking about? No one needs strawberry ice cream, but it's not very nice for you to eat it all." He leaves the table, upset. I convince daughter to happily accept a different dessert. Daughter apologizes to Dad. She comes and asks me to, and I say, "No, I am not going to apologize because he ate all of the ice cream, and I'm not really sure you should, either."

TLDR: Dad ate all of a treat that was at least superficially for our daughter. His feelings are hurt because we said he shouldn't have done that. An apology is apparently expected. ######

Response:
 NTA - He is the one that should be apologising. Dad should buy more ice-cream next time and save some for his daughter. He seems to be acting very selfish and childish here, unless there are some other underlying issues that have not been addressed.

I also think it's good that you told your daughter that you don't see why she should apologise, as women have a habit of apologising for things that are not their fault. ######


Prompt:
My brother moved in with us (me,wife,7 yr old) in mid January. He's just turned 20 a few days ago. He was in a bad situation and we agreed he could stay till he starts university in September. Doesn't cost us much extra for him to be here, mortgage, internet, water are all a fixed charge. So told him he would have to pay gas/electric when the quarterly bill arrived he can pay the difference. We've fed him until recently so it's cost him £0 for groceries since mid Jan. Since then we have obviously had the virus and at the start he went to his sister's for dinner and I told him it's not acceptable to us to risk our daughters health (she has a undiagnosed epilepsy and is on disabled register) and he has to either be sensible and isolate as much as is possible or move out. He recently started a job, even though he's currently getting furlough (around £180 a month but he literally lives for free) and since starting the job he's been out to "have a kick around" with his 1 work colleague he works with. Today, he hasn't come home and messaged to say he's at his work mates house having a few beers.

Tomorrow, he's getting told to leave and I'll be giving him his immediately needed stuff and I'll drop the rest off when I can.

I don't know if he will have anywhere to go, but I'm not risking my 7yo for him.

Am I being overly cautious? We have a very low infection rate, around 100 known cases in 60,000 ######

Response:
 NTA - He is putting your child, his neice at unnecessary risk. This is the third time he has been irresponsible, you've already talked to him twice about it, third strike and you are out imo.

But maybe give him a bit longer than a day as he needs to talk to mates or find a shelter. But agree 100% he needs to go ######


Prompt:
I (F24) live with my mom and we have a new neighbor (F45+) who moved in about 4 months ago. We do know her before she moved in and my mom is friends with her (they're both about 45+ yrs old) I actually really like her and she's pretty cool.

While we all were in quarantine (I stayed alone at home and my mom stayed with her bf) her son stayed at her place (he's 23)
They would invite me for coffee and if they baked something they would always bring me some (and vice versa) so it was pretty nice. The last neighbours had 3 screaming kids and It drove me insane so having adults that i can sit with and talk to is really nice.

The topic somehow came up and we talked about me being a tattoo artist. Her son got super excited and asked me if I could tattoo him, I said of course but once the quarantine is over. His mom got really upset and asked me not to tattoo him. She actually has 2 small tattoos and he has 1 or 2 that are kind of medium? She hates his tattoo and hers are pretty old and think she doesn't really like them anymore.(I offered her free of charge to fix one of them but she doesn't want to)

Anyway I dropped it.

Now we're here 2 months later and tattoo artists in my country got approval to tattoo again.
Yesterday he texted me he has a birthday tomorrow and he wants to drop by to get a tattoo and that he's also bringing his friends to get tattooed (which is amazing for me because I'm doing not very well financially due the quarantine)
I told him yes but I kind of feel guilty. I don't want his mom being upset with me because I really like her (I also take out her dog almost everyday) and I don't want her to be upset with me for tattooing him.

WIBTA if I tattoo him and without her knowledge? ######

Response:
 NTA - he is 23. He has to tell his mom it was a different tattoo shop though. Make sure he pays you in cash so there is no evidence you did it.

Although you aren’t TA, you are risking your relationship with that neighbor, if you like them. ######


Prompt:
He wants me to drive his family member to the airport tomorrow at 5:30 am.

Here's how that conversation went:

Me: What time does Jim leave tomorrow?

Bf: 6:45.

Me: WOW that's early.

Bf: Yeah you're going to need to get up at 5.

Me: What? Me? What are you talking about?

Bf: I have to work at 7:30, so you need to drive him.

I had no idea that any of this was going on. My boyfriend didn't ask me. He just *informed* me that this was happening. Also, maybe I'm mistaken, but if my bf went to sleep at 9:30 and woke at 5, that's 7.5 hours of sleep and totally fine. The airport is like 15 minutes away and he'd get to see his family member off.

I really don't want to do it because I'm pissed that he wouldn't even ask me. I'm big on asking permission, out of respect. If he had asked me, I'd gladly do it. I'm a person. Not an extension of himself. I'm not *obligated* to do anything for him. He doesn't think he should have asked, apparently. I told him why I was mad, and he thinks it not a big deal and I still need to do it.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA - he doesn’t get to volunteer you for stuff.  He just doesn’t.  His consequence for doing it this time is that he’s going to have to get up a little extra early to make good on his promise. ######


Prompt: My dad had an affair and has been with his girlfriend for about 6 months now (for context my parents are still married and my mum knows about the affair). I was talking to him on the phone today and he mentioned that he wanted me to meet his girlfriend. I told him that I didn't want to and perhaps with a little bit more time I'd be open to it. He seemed to be offended by it but I didn't waver on my answer. Am I the asshole for telling him I don't want to meet his mistress? ######

Response: NTA - he clearly has no shame. Stick to your guns, and don’t feel like you have to do something that makes you uncomfortable ######


Prompt:
Fairly confident I'm not the asshole here, but who knows, maybe I need to see it from another perspective.

Single Mum of a 1 year old boy, his father and I split very early on in his life. He has him every second weekend.

It's his weekend to have him, I have made plans that I don't really want to cancel. He's messaged me saying he's going to be hungover tomorrow (when he's due to take him) so he said he'll let me know if he can have him. I've said no, he has to take him regardless as I have plans. He's throwing a wobbly and saying that our son won't be in the best care due to him expecting to be "under the weather", and that I am acting as an unfit mother as I'm prepared to take that risk and leave him with his Dad.

He's hungover, not sick. If he was sick, understandable I'd keep him with me I don't want him getting sick. But hungover? Please! If he wants to go out prior to his designated weekend that's his decision, doesn't change his responsibilities.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - He chose to hit booze when he knew it was his weekend, when reminded, he still chose the drink, then attempted to guilt you into taking him, regardless of premade plans.

Maybe he should try harder if he wants to be a father. The first step is putting your child before everything (including the bottle). If a hangover is too much to deal with.... 🤣 ######


Prompt:
So, for backstory, basically my cousin and aunt have come to my house because we'll be going to Florida in a few days. he's sixteen and I'm thirteen. The last time I saw him was three years ago, and we were pretty close.

So, my cousin, who was originally female, came out to me about an hour before he made it to my house, on the phone. I completely support him and his decision, and he's still my cousin no matter what.

So here's what happened. I made macaroni for my family since I love cooking, and we were all just catching up on stuff that happened in the three years. This is how it played out.

Aunt: Cute-Comb this macaroni is delicious! I didn't know you knew how to cook!

Me: thanks! I've gotten really into cooking. I remember when we were little, -cousin- would scarf down any kind of pasta haha. It was crazy how she- I'm sorry he would eat anything, as long as it was pasta.

After this, my cousin started crying at the table about how I didn't accept him as a male, which I totally do, and I apologized again for the mistake.

Now though, my family is mad at me and my cousin isn't talking to me anymore. I even apologized again, but he just ignored me. I only made this mistake once, and I've called him he and him no matter what. AITA? I don't know what to do ######

Response:
 NTA - he came out as trans for the first time shortly before arriving at the house, this was your first opportunity to use corrected pronouns, and you were referring to a memory from a time when he was presenting as female.  That isn’t “not accepting him as male,” it’s a brain fart, and a completely understandable one.  Plus you corrected yourself immediately, within three syllables of the mistake, and apologized.

If your cousin needs the whole world to never, ever,EVER make a mistake, and stops speaking to people on the first one, he’s going to end up one lonely person. ######


Prompt: So this morning my husband tells me he wants to sit in my seat at the kitchen table because the light is better in my spot and can we switch. I’ve been sitting in this spot for a decade and I’ve been working from home, using that spot for 2.5 years. He, by chance, apparently sat in my seat yesterday and now wants it to be his when he works from home (he works for home full time now since January). When I told him no, he said “how about we alternate - one week on, one week off?” I said I didn’t want to alternate, that would be like changing up the side of the bed you sleep on! He said I was rude and inflexible and didn’t know how to share. I told him he’s rude because he all of a sudden decides something is “better” and wants it for himself and when I disagree, then I’m the jerk. He also claims that people don’t have a spot at a kitchen table. Who’s right? ######

Response:
 NTA - he asked you for something and you said no.
Especially if it has been “your” spot at the table for the amount of time you have said for both work and personal.
Like you said, how would he feel if you asked to switch sides of the bed, wardrobe spaces, cars, etc.
I understand his side somewhat, but he needs to understand that you are allowed to say no. ######


Prompt:
I randomly started flirting with this acquaintance, what started as flirting progressed to sexting, nudes and to eventually hooking up multiple times etc. I was fine with it, until i saw how much of a HYPOCRITE he is.

He’s been posting so much dumb shit on snapchat about girls who send nudes, how hookups are “morally and religiously long as you should devote your body to one person only” and things along those lines. I called him out publicly on snapchat by posting the sexual texts he sends me “i want to see both views when you drop it low” and worse.

He then calls me ranting about how much of a bitch I am, and how unnecessary that was etc. His friends are telling me to delete it, so word doesn’t get around to his religious parents who might disown him because he isn’t abstinent.  I hate hypocrites, but I’m starting to feel bad. AITA? I would be willing to apologize If i’m in the wrong, i just need an unbiased perspective. ######

Response: NTA - Has he never heard of practicing what he preaches? The double standard is too real. ######


Prompt:
My sister (F19) has always wanted to dye her hair funky colors. However, our parents would never let us dye our hair as teenagers. Now that she's (relatively) grown, she asked me (F23) to bleach and dye it bubblegum pink/turquoise. Here's the tricky part: she was talking with her boyfriend about how excited she was to try something new.

 Based on the screenshots she sent me (she does this because she often feels like she's overreacting), he told her he would no longer be attracted to her if she goes through with this and that he doesn't understand why she's upset with him about it. She respects his right to have/voice his opinion, but tells him that this is something that she's wanted to do for a long time. Personally, I think this is a really weird hill for him to die on, and I think this is a bit of a red flag.

 She is coming to my house today to start the process. Her boyfriend has now told her that he doesn't want her to go to my house. I asked if she still wanted to go ahead, she told me yes. Here's the part where I might be TA. We're going to go ahead and do it anyway. I figure she's only young once and ought to try something new BEFORE she starts working for places that don't allow for unnatural hair color. So WIBTA? ######

Response:
 NTA - Hair color change is fun and it grows back.  I remember being 19 and dying it blonde for the first time. I thought my parents would be so upset but my dad didn't even notice (granted it went from brown to light brown).

I remember being a child and having a great aunt who did the hair tints for older women who had gray hair - it was a blueish purple color. That was when I realized being old could be fun if I could have purple, blue, or pink hair.  I didn't dye it a "funky" color until I turned 50. I used teal and loved it. ######


Prompt:
Context im always the quiet guy which is okay my grandmother always questions why are you so quiet are you a man? And shit i also have a younger sister who i love dearly i always have lots of convos with her and my grandmother gets annoyed saying why im always with my younger sister and why i follow her around and why i cant be a "man"

This morning a bee came inside our house through out window it got in my sisters hair and i pushed her out and the bee left her hair my sister screamed and my natural reaction was to run same as my sister and shut the door then my grandmother fucking comes in and says "aren't you ashamed to be running away from a bee aren't you a man to be scared off bees" i got so fucking pissed she was going to take a broom and shoo it away but after she questioned my "masculinity" and thousands of other shit i took my fucking shoe and i wacked the bee so hard at the window (window didnt break) threw the shoe and left and im now upstairs

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - grandma is sexist. All this "boys don't cry" BS is old. ######


Prompt:
Okay so the title sounds a little selfish but hear me out here

Im (16M) pretty much the baker of the house, my mom will occasionally, but only when I’m busy or not home. When I want to bake, or when my family is dropping hints they want something sweet, I ask my family what they want. Sometimes they give me something specific like cheesecake or cookies, sometimes they just let me have the creative freedom to make what I’m craving.

Now my sister (20F) doesn’t live with us but she does spend a lot of time at the house, she also happens to have celiacs/a gluten intolerance (I’m unsure which) and has tried to cut down on gluten. In turn she’s asked me to make gluten free desserts instead of the ones with gluten in them.

Here’s where the problem comes in, I don’t like the texture that the gluten free flours give the desserts, especially in things such as cakes. When it’s something made specifically for her, such as something specific she requests or something for her birthday, I’ll happily make it. When it’s something I want or someone else in my family wants I make it with normal flour.

My sister doesn’t like this because she can’t eat them, however whenever I ask her to make a request she only ever says something gluten free. I’m also hesitant to make her gluten free desserts freely because she doesn’t generally eat a lot of dessert because she is trying to watch her weight. And I don’t want the dessert to go waste.

So Reddit AITA for not making gluten free desserts all the time? ######

Response:
 NTA - gluten free stuff generally just doesn’t have the texture/taste of stuff with gluten, if it’s just for her you’re fully within your right to ask her to request something in advance. You’re kindly offering to make things for her, but it’s not like other food allergies where you could just not top some of the treats with the allergen, gluten has to be included or excluded from the entire batch. If it would make it go to waste then it’s fine for you not to want to.

One alternative could be freezing? If you made a gluten free cookie dough (for example) and baked off a few for her when she’s over then leave the rest of the dough in the freezer, then when she comes over you can pop a few in for her so she’s not left out? You of course don’t have to do this, it could stop tension though? ######


Prompt:
My grandfather died at the age of 83. He had like 5 or 6 brothers/sisters, so the family is quite big and almost everyone (4 generations) came to his funeral.

Everyone met at the cemetery reception/outside. There were more people than I could even count, and I didn't even know half of them. So, as people gravitated together in groups of the same age, it didn't take long to get really awkward. Imagine meeting a third cousin for the first time in such a situation.

So, with the intention of breaking the ice, I did a couple of jokes, nothing inappropriate, just enough to people crack a smile, and it did work, the tense/awkward atmosphere got way better. Except for my sister, who kept crying copiously all the time, so I left her alone, everyone did.

On the inside and during the ceremony I was totally silent. Nevertheless, after the fact, my sister called me asshole for making jokes at that time.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - genuinely feel that old people funerals are the one type where smiles and laughter are ok at any point. If they’ve lived a long full life, you’re there to celebrate it not simply to mourn their passing. ######


Prompt:
I'm a teenager, in high school, and I just got a phone at the beginning of this year when my mom upgraded. She'd had the phone for several years, it's a 5s and in relatively good condition (no cracks, scratches, etc) but the battery drains ridiculously fast and, well, it's 7 years old. My siblings both got new phones for their first phones, but i guess my parents saw an opportunity and ran with it.
My dad said he'd get me a new phone at the end of the school year if I got good grades. Well, now that school's out, mine has decided that they're going to make all classes pass/fail. Hence they're not assigning letter grades, and he won't buy me a new phone. He  mentioned it off handedly at dinner like "oh great i wont have to buy you a new phone for another year!!"
My grades were good before we were let out. It's not my fault school was cancelled and the grading system is this way now so why should i have to wait another year?
I don't want it to come off as me being spoiled but I'm honestly tired of having such an old phone and not being able to do some of the things my friends can do on theirs, like group FTs, or getting made fun of or asked if im poor, which is the dumbest shit because this is literally the bay area. so, wibta? ######

Response: nta - from a kids point of view (19, but ya know) when I got my first phone it was based off of a deal like that so in your position I would be upset too. Just, when and if you confront him be patient, polite, and don't try to demand anything. good luck. ######


Prompt:
In December 2019, my therapist recommended I take an appointment with my doctor to be prescribed antidepressants due to how I was feeling at the time. Now, back then I was 17 so I couldn't make an appointment at my doctor's without my parents knowing. When I mentioned to my parents what the therapist recommended they didn't agree to this and told me they didn't want me taking meds. According to them, I didn't need them.

Skip to about mid-February 2020, I'm now 18 and still feeling the same due to my constant anxiety and depression. I said to myself "fuck this, I wanna get better and do what my therapist recommended". So I phone my doctor, telling my parents I wanna renew my skin treatment prescription (I actually did need one and got one at the same time of getting a prescription for my antidepressants). They give me the money and I have my medical insurance card (I live in a country where doctor appointments are mostly reimbursed by the state) and then head to get my prescription. The doctor prescribed me sertraline and I started taking 25mg of it every day for about a month and a half.

Skip to a few weeks ago where my parents found out about it during an argument I had with them. They found out and are pissed at my doctor and my therapist for not telling them I was taking antidepressants. I am considered an adult by both my therapist and doctor. I believe it's their right to not tell my parents considering I'm old enough to make my own decisions.  The sertraline was paid for by the state so my parents weren't paying for it. They believe that I disobeyed them and that I'll have to change both doctor and therapist because they both broke that trust that my parents put in them to take care of me.

I hope this all makes sense and that it's all well written. So, AITA for not telling my parents I was taking antidepressants for a month and a half? ######

Response:
 NTA - First off, your parents are not medical experts so their opinion on what you should or should not take is uninformed and ultimately harmful to you. There is a lot of misinformation around antidepressants and for the most part, people do not understand how they work. Listen to your doctor.

Not only that but as a 17 year old, if you didn't want your parents to know what happens in your doctors visit, you do not need to tell them.

You and your doctors get to decide what is best for you medically, not your parents. They are the true assholes here for trying to gatekeep you from getting the treatment you need. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend left upset and hasn't come back since this happened. He said I was being really nosy and that it disappoints him that I can't just mind my own business. Well, if there are 5 firetrucks in our apartment block parking lot I feel like it's not a bad thing to know what's going on. All of my neighbors were also outside (spread out and most of us with masks) and I talked to them and confirmed that everybody is safe. It apparently started as a problem with HVAC and I was able to tell them that the HVAC guy who just came to check out our unit commented on the fact that all of our systems are borderline outdated. Also, I had never seen firefighters really do their thing with the hoses and ladders before. It was honestly really interesting.

My boyfriend really dislikes it when I "check stuff out" though and thinks I contribute to turning someone else's misfortune into a spectacle by doing so. I can see this perspective but that's really not what I was trying to do and the situation did not have any air of spectacle to it, just everyone on the block sizing up the problem.

TLDR does standing on your porch watching emergency vehicles do their thing make you an asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA - Firefighter here, we get plenty of bystanders. As long as you're not in our way and you're in a safe place, feel free to watch. Heck, when I'm off-duty I do the same thing.

*edited to add, please be respectful of the homeowner. Obviously this is a traumatic experience for them, maybe even the worst day of their life. Treat is as such.* ######


Prompt:
I’ve had my horse for a few months now.

He’s very young and green (green means not trained much). He’s getting ridden by many of my friends who I trust to ride him at the barn. There is a girl and her mother who are very jealous about me owning a horse.

This girl and her mother have been nothing ,but vile to me. Her daughter is a self centered bitch and her mother just lets her get away with it! Her mother asked my coach about riding my horse. Coach said ask my mother. She asked my mother about letting her daughter ride my horse. I refused because a girl who has not been nice to me cannot ride my animal. All of my buddies get to ride my horse because they have been kind to me. My mother tells her no and the mother goes off asking why not?

They’ve been giving me glares when I’m in the aisle.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - fellow horse rider here! You are definitely not the asshole, to me horses are a big deal and especially when they’re green, every ride affects their training so I would be cautious of letting even friends ride a young horse, never mind some girl who’s rude to you. ######


Prompt:
i am a f15 and they just asked me and hour before we were meant to go.
i don’t have plans but i just finished my second week back at school and i’m exhausted- i feel bad for not wanting to do it as “ i have nothing better to do” but that’s kinda the point..
they were not planning to pay me either.
i’m not even good with kids, they just expect me to do it because i’m old enough. ######

Response:
 NTA - every person/parent/teacher/anybody ever needs to understand this - when you ask someone to do something, you need to prepare that the answer can be no.

I think it is a perfectly reasonable expectation on your part to want quiet time after school not watching kids.

If they're forcing you, then this is a good time to talk with them about some boundaries. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday my boyfriend

Now to give you some clarification, its not like I particularly dress for "unwanted" attention. I do dress nice I guess, as in, I like to wear cute flats with a blazer and pretty blouse. But I'm not the type to show my cleavage and bum, and even if a gal did, thats her prerogative. Anyways I dress for myself. And no one else.

Anyways, I was out with my BF the other day as restrictions were getting lifted. I will say, I might have looked extra polished as I spent extra time on my hair and makeup for the day.

My boyfriend got upset with me about how (according to him) guys were always checking me out and today it was "bad" and I was facilitating it. I was "enabling their pig thoughts" it got pretty heated. He said it was comparable to me being "slutty".

Here's the thing. My boyfriend checks out other women. A lot. I gneenrally don't care. So for him to be upset with other dudes checking me out? Fuck that.

I told him that if he's going to check out other women, then dont be a hypocrite and controlling douchebag and be all uppity when guys do the same to me. Its not like I'm asking for their numbers.

Either its okay to you or it isnt. You can't have it both ways.

Anyways he called me a bitch after I called him a hypocrite and now that I've cooled down, im.not sure if I went too far.

AITA. ######

Response: NTA - even if your boyfriend wasn't checking out other girls, still wouldn't make you one. Calling you slutty is a definite no-no. He sounds like the kind of guy who blames the victim. Please watch our for other red flags, because this is how controlling and emotional abusive relationships start. ######


Prompt:
I live with my parents and brother.

My dad has a habit of making jokes. He'll comment about my place being in the kitchen because I'm a girl, or joke about our animals (17 pigs (the livestock kind), 6 cats, 4 chickens, and a dog) not liking me versus another family member, just little mean jabs here and there.

This honestly hurts. I have c-ptsd from a previous abusive relationship where I was repeatedly degraded and insulted, and I hate this. But if I politely ask him to stop, I'm being too sensitive, I'm being ridiculous. It's usually met with a scoff and an eye roll.

AITA for asking my dad to quit? ######

Response:
 NTA - Even if you didn't have legitimate trauma related to this behavior, respectfully asking your Dad to cool it with the comments is completely fine and doesn't make you overly sensitive.

But you DO have trauma and the fact that he continues his degrading quips is entirely insensitive. I would suggest pulling him aside and having a conversation about your past experiences and explaining why his behavior is so upsetting.

I hope things get better, OP! ######


Prompt:
Background: Me, my husband, 2 year old, 2 dogs. Through my whole pregnancy and after I have been the one working full time to provide. In addition, I also did majority of the household duties until this past year when I finally put my foot down. I still do majority of the cooking and laundry, and am expected to be the one caring for our daughter when we're both home, even when I had to work late or work that day.

So my husband started a new part time job, at an ice cream shop, on weekends. I had a day off one night, and decided to cook dinner. I made baked chicken thighs and mashed potatoes. Now ill admit the potatoes were a disaster. They were well past their prime and i didn't realize that a good amount hadn't softened like they should which resulted in very lumpy potatoes. Whatever, they still tasted fine to me, weird texture, but definitely edible.

I baked the chicken thighs, and because I've had trouble with undercooked chicken in the past, I made sure to use the thermometer, and cooked them well past the safe temp. My daughter and I ate them and everything was good.

So he gets home, cuts into the chicken, and flips out, because the chicken was "undercooked", because there was some blood near the thigh bone. I tried to explain that that was normal, and they're cooked to temperature and safe to eat. He wasn't having any of it and threw all the food away.

I lost my cool and told him he's never appreciative of anything I do for him, and he should be more thankful, even if it was undercooked at least I tried. He maintains that he shouldn't be thankful to come home from work to undercooked chicken and potatoes that he can't even eat and have to go hungry. Which led into a bigger fight about how his job is not difficult, he only works two days a week, and i cook virtually every meal for us, and it's not fair to me for him to be such a jerk over one botched meal.

AITA for telling him he should be appreciative for undercooked chicken, and insulting his job? ######

Response: NTA - even if the chicken was somehow undercooked, you didn't do it intentionally. Your husband sounds like a child. He doesn't have to go hungry, he can eat ice cream if he doesn't appreciate your cooking and if he doesn't want to cook himself. ######


Prompt:
My sister has recently created a new instagram account that she only lets her friends follow, I thought nothing of it but one of our mutual friends sent me a screenshot of the account.  It was nothing but posts about her talking shit about me, our cousin, and a couple of her other friends.  I went to confront my sister about this and basically told her if she has a problem with me she can say it to my face.  When I showed her the screenshot she said she can saw whatever she wants about me or anyone.  I told her to take down the posts or the account, and my sister told me that she won't do any of that.

My friend recently sent me another screenshot and it was her full on her going over the full conversation we had and her talking shit about me again.  I knew I wasn't gonna do shit so I straight up told my mom that she was making fun of me on an instagram account, my mom nearly tore her head off and she had to delete the account in front of her lol.

My sister called me a "fucking snitch" and said that I had to go get mommy to deal with her issues.  I just told her to not talk shit on me and this wouldn't have to happen. ######

Response:
 NTA - Dude I thought she was like 12 or something and then I read in the comments that's she's 18??

Bruh it concerns me that people like this are legally adults.

Ignore her calling you a snitch btw, your parents are supposed to stop your siblings from being cruel to you. ######


Prompt:
English it's not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
My mom has a long history of debts, she has loans with multiple people. When my grandmother or someone gave her money to save, she always spends it.

Last year my grandma gave her to save a big amount of money and she spent it, when my grandma asked for the money she didn't have it, so she had to ask multiple loans to repay de money. Besides she owns a school but since the quarantine started a lot of parents don't want to pay even when the teachers are giving them activities. (I'm from Mexico) so she's also having a hard time paying to the teachers.
Two years ago we used to live in our own house but she lost because of the debts.

I work from home, thankfully I didn't lost my job, so I used to help her pay the rent, but she made a loan on my name(I didn't grab any of the money, it was all for her) and she isn't paying it so I'm doing it, since then I haven't been giving her money to pay the rent. But I'm helping her to buy all the groceries that we need. My sister does help her with the rent and supports her sometimes to pay a part of her debts.

With my salary sometimes I buy myself things I like, like clothes or things I see on the internet. This morning I was telling my sister I wanted to buy a curling iron, and my grandmother told me I should stop buying things, and give all that money to my mother. And I told her that I do gave her money and help her in the house.

(My grandmother it's also paying some of the loans of my mom, and in the pass she even had to mortgage her home to help her, she is still paying that mortgage)

So AITA for refusing to give my mother more money? ######

Response: NTA - Don't take money advice from your grandmother who continually is getting scammed by your mother. Take as much money as you can and save it for your future, you'll need it. ######


Prompt: So me(13f) and my dad went to the dog park so my dogs could run.  I have two 30-40 lb dogs Max and Bell.  Then this lady comes in the dog park with 2 husky mixes. They are look like they are 60lbs ish.  So my dogs go to smell her dogs butt and then her dog just attacks my dog. Not like a gentle bite but angry and my dog screamed and ran away.  I was like woah and grabbed my dogs.  She tried calling her dog over to her but it didn't listen to her.  I told her she shouldn't be bringing an dog that clearly doesn't like other dogs to a dog park and she kinda got upset and left.  I felt bad but at the same time her dog attacked Max just for smelling her.  My dad said I shouldn't have said that because Max didn't get hurt.  My reasoning was that her dog didn't like other dogs and didn't go to her when she called it, it shouldn't be in a dog park. ######

Response: NTA - Dogs can be trained to behave.  If she couldn't get her dog to obey, then she should keep them on a leash or keep them home. ######