Prompt:
My friend is a vegan and has been for a while. Recently though she got a cat and is forcing her vegan diet on her cat. I tried telling her cats are carnivores and need meat in their diet. She said oh she will be fine being a vegan is. Better for your health anyways. I kept telling her that cats are not omnivores but she kept saying it was fine. Finally I snapped after seeing her cat getting weaker and weaker and said you're abusing your cat and I will take her from you if you dont start taking care of her properly.
AITA for saying I'd take her cat away ######

Response: NTA -the cat will definitely die with that diet. You can already see the cat getting weaker. Update us to let us know what happens and if you get the cat ######


Prompt:
Title makes it sound a little worse than it is, also I’m on mobile so forgive any errors.

So basically the story is that I found a cute floor-length skirt at goodwill on one of their half off days, it’s was way too big for me and a little damaged but I know how to sew so I bought it anyways as I loved the colors.

So after adding some pleats and removing some elastic that had gone bad from the waistband I wore it out with some friends. One of these friends (I’ll call her G for this story) complemented the skirt and asked where I got it and I explained and showed her the work I’d done to fix it up as I was proud of how it looked.

She got mad at me for this though and went on a whole rant about how I’m an awful person for stealing resources from goodwill that plus-sized people needed. And how “skinnies” like me were the reason plus sized people were stuck wearing “unattractive” clothes and that I shouldn’t take affordable plus sided clothing away from people who actually need it.

I hadn’t though if that when buying the skirt and now I feel extremely guilty about it and can’t bring myself to wear it out again. AITA for buying an oversized skirt I don’t need and resizing it? ######

Response: NTA -Good for you for upcycling something and ensuring it has a life not in the landfill. Your friend needs some counseling as she clearly has some issues to work through ######


Prompt:
I'm about to be 18, and I recently got busted and scolded by my mom for smoking and holding onto weed. I've moderately smoked joints maybe every few weeks since last May, I didn't let it affect my summer work and school performance. This was the first time I got busted, so I told her it was the first time I tried it to soften the situation, and it sorta worked.

My brother's been smoking weed with his cousins and friends since he was like 13, and now he's 29 with a girlfriend and three kids and still smokes just about every day. He can't even hold one damn job and makes his income off selling fresh-caught fish, EBT, and fighting chickens, no shit. Every time I see that guy he's got his bong on him or a ounce bag of buds. My mom's known about him smoking since he was 16, but now she doesn't really care.

Anyway, my mom told him about this, and when I saw him a few days later he was kind of miffed and started telling me no more smoking and asking me who I'm hanging with and all that. I told him that he was being a hypocrite here and that at least I can keep my use moderate, something he's never gotten down.

Then he just told me to get out of there, and so I just left, fuck it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA -but that said, your mom is the larger hypocrite here. Your brother seems concerned about change in your habits (though still a bit of hypocrite), he didn’t sound judgemental, just concerned ######


Prompt:
I have been working from home but my husband still has to go into work. I am a "sleep till the last possible minute" person. If I know it takes me half an hour to get out the door or five minutes to put on clothes and make a cup of coffee before logging in, I will sleep up till that point and give myself just enough time to do what I need to do in the morning.

My husband on the other hand prefers to set his alarm a couple hours before he needs to be at work (takes him less than 10 minutes to get there). Hits snooze a couple times. Then usually will go in for a shower, and this is really what I dont get. We have a jacuzzi/shower combo. He sits down in the shower, relaxes, and falls back asleep for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and a half with the water running.

Sometimes he makes it to work on time, sometimes he doesnt. When I was still going into the office our getting ready time overlapped so I would usually have to wake him up so I could get in and shower myself. Now that I am working from home I just dont bother showering until around lunchtime.

Today he needed to be in at 10. I woke up around 930 to log in and heard him snoring in the bathroom on my way to the computer. I went about my work, had a couple meetings, and around 1045 went back to the bedroom to get something, where I found him getting dressed. I said "you're late" in a playful way and he snarked back at me that I could have woken him up. We had a bit of an exchange, with me ultimately saying he was an adult and could get himself to work, him saying he'd remember that if it were me in the future.

This is not new behavior. This is his normal morning routine. He knows if he sits down and puts his phone down he is going to fall asleep. I've previously suggested sleeping in bed later but he wants to do what he wants to do. He has his phone in there with him so he can set a second alarm to get him out of the shower in time. I dont see why he should be pissy at me for not babying him. ######

Response:
 NTA -

That is an adult responsible for his own actions. There are so many easy solutions, like go to bed earlier, get a different alarm, shower in a less cozy (ie colder) way, a puzzle alarm, etc.

It’s not your responsibility ######


Prompt:
I (20F) used to dress very conservatively, I had body issues (I was 11stone at 5’6/ or almost 70kg at 1.676metres) so not really overweight but I carried it all on my stomach, I was really self conscious.

I dropped to 9stone this year and while I still have my days of being unhappy and still think of losing weight, I love my body most of the time.

I’ve started wearing dresses too, I absolutely love crop tops but never had the confidence for that.

I always ask my boyfriend for opinions on clothes, I’ve never been the best at fashion and he’s better at picking outfits than I am.

When I showed him a certain crop top he said “You’ve gone from showing nothing to everything, do what you like but be ready to get comments”

I put it off, but while shopping in town today I decided fuck it and got it, I love it and I feel so confident in it.

Now he’s upset because I asked his opinion on it and went ahead and got it knowing he isn’t comfortable with it.

He says it’s about mutual respect and that I’ve made him pass up on clothes before (cyclist shorts that were very short)
AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA -

At the end of the day it's your choice what to wear.  You can ask for his opinion and consider it, but ultimately it's your call.  Make some time to sit down and discuss the issue with him.  Communication is always the best solution to these kinds of problems.

Good luck!

EDIT:

After reading some of the comments from u/ThrowRa19282821 I have come to the conclusion that:

ESH - you BOTH should be able to wear what makes your comfortable within reason.  Don't be a hypocrite OP. ######


Prompt:
My daughter and I are on the same medication, same dosage. We take it at the same time every day (early afternoon) because of side effects. She is too young to carry it with her or remember to take it herself, so I carry it.

I don't particularly enjoy carrying a purse, so on days when I know we will be out when it's time to take meds, I will just bring one of the bottles (because I can fit one in my pocket comfortably), either mine or hers. I then add an extra pill from the other bottle when I get home to keep them even.

However, when I went to drop off my daughter at her dad's house, I accidentally brought the pill bottle with my name on it instead of hers. I told him that he could just use mine, no big deal, and that we both take pills from either bottle because again, it's the exact same medication and the exact same dosage. I would understand if he wasn't comfortable using my pill bottle because it isn't technically her prescription, but he lost it at me and accused me of stealing her meds and shuffling pills around to hide it. He thinks there is more of a risk for me to give her the wrong dose because I'm not keeping the pills separate. I think he's being ridiculous. One pill is one pill coming from either prescription bottle. I'm not going to somehow give her extra pills. Am I the asshole for having this system and for continuing with it because it makes my life easier? ######

Response:
 NTA -

>he lost it at me and accused me of stealing her meds and shuffling pills around to hide it.

That's a ridiculous accusation is obviously not the case. If you're both taking the same medication and the same dosage, there's no "shuffling" required and nothing you would gain from stealing your daughter's medication.

I'm not sure what your history with her dad is, but this sounds like something that he's latching on to as some kind of "gotcha" that doesn't make any sense. ######


Prompt:
So my high school announced today how we are doing graduation this year with the virus, and the solution sucks. The solution is that over the course of a week all the graduating students will walk across the gym, grab their diploma from a table, and take a photo in their cap & gown. Each student will be the only one in the gym at a time, along with 4 family members, the photographer, and the principal. Students are spaced out in 10 minute intervals.

Graduation was originally going to be on my birthday so I was thinking that I do a birthday/graduation celebration then with just my family. Some of my friends have told me I'm wasting an opportunity to experience something "once in a lifetime" while other friends are telling me that I'm in the right to skip it because it's a terrible solution.

So, would I be the asshole for skipping this or no? ######

Response: NTA -- you might regret it later though.  It really sucks that you've lost all the traditional end of high school things, you're allowed to feel about it however you want. ######


Prompt:
His drinking seriously negatively affected our relationship in ways I can't explain without violating the rules here, but it got to a point where I no longer felt safe around him. I never want to see him again and I don't want to help "clear \[his\] conscience", which is what he wrote in the message asking if we could meet to talk. He says it *has* to be in person so he can look me in the eyes when he says it and it  *has* to be alone as in a public place but without anyone with me, so because me bringing someone would be "embarrassing" for him. I said I'd prefer to have my boyfriend with me and he said I was "rubbing it in \[his\] face" that I've found someone new.

My boyfriend says I shouldn't go, he doesn't trust it, and I'm inclined to agree, but several friends I still have from the time we were together have already met him and say he's a new man, and don't understand why I don't want to meet him, saying I'm being selfish and holding a grudge and I should let him apologise after nearly 3 years of self reflection on his end so we can both get closure and move forward.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA -- Trust your gut and your boyfriend. You owe your ex nothing, and his peace of mind is not your burden to carry. He hurt you a lot in the past and you have every right to not want to see him again. I'd be careful,

>so because me bringing someone would be "embarrassing" for him. I said I'd prefer to have my boyfriend with me and he said I was "rubbing it in [his] face" that I've found someone new.

☝ That's a big red flag to me. If he actually felt remorse he'd allow your boyfriend to come, as he would understand and should not expect you to be comfortable in his presence.

And if those friends open their mouths again to try and guilt trip you, tell them to stay out of your business.

Good luck! ######


Prompt:
The story so far- I (F20) am living with my dad for the summer in my hometown. I didn’t have to live with him- I could’ve stayed with a friend in my college town, but he asked me to move home, and I agreed because he’s a single dad and I wanted to help around the house as well as bond with my siblings. I don’t pay rent or utilities, but I am completely financially independent of him and pay for my car/insurance, phone, groceries, etc. I was in a rough spot financially due to COVID but recently received backpay for the 15 weeks I was unemployed and it amounted to about $9500. When my dad found out, he was happy for me. Then he told me he wanted to charge me $600 in rent for July and August. I think this is unfair because I think housing agreements should be made before someone moves in and it just feels like my dad is trying to take advantage of me. I tried to explain this to says that it’s the least I can do for him.

tl;dr AITA for not wanting to pay my dad rent? ######

Response: NTA -- Tell him that you didn't know he was going to charge you rent, and that you're going to go live with your friend. Then he can do all the housework and take care of your siblings. ######


Prompt:
My sister’s dog has had cancer for about 3 years. It gets new tumours surgically removed every three months or so. A couple of weeks ago he was bleeding internally due to a tumour in his spleen. He lost his spleen and now needs a blood transfusion.

He is getting old for his breed and they don’t take great care of him (he’s not allowed inside the house). My sister is married with a child. My sister asked if I would donate my dogs blood to her dog. I said no, because there is a risk of the donor dog dying. I adore my dog, he is always with me, and I have no partner to keep me company.

The risk to my dog is really minimal and now my sister isn’t talking to me because I politely said no. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA -- she can't get mad when she doesn't let her dog with cancer IN THE HOUSE!!!! WTF??! ######


Prompt:
Pretty simple story.

I’ve told my(16M) sister(14F) several times to stop touching my stuff, yet she still does it. I’ve told my parents, yet they do nothing

Today I finally got to play my switch after a couple weeks. I had to study for school and a couple tests

It turns out that my sister has been using my game for weeks. She’s spent over a hundred and fifty hours playing it.

I got really pissed. She was once again using my stuff. So, I just deleted it. When I told her, she got super mad. She said I was being unfair.

I just told her that I did nothing wrong. All I did was use my game on my console. Nothing wrong there, is there? Then, my sister proceeds to tell my parents. I somehow got in trouble.

I feel like my parents are definitely being somewhat sexist or ageist. I’ve complained to them many times, and they do absolutely nothing, but when I handle it myself, they get mad.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA - Your stuff, your decisions. ######


Prompt: Right. So I have spina bifida and use a wheelchair. My sister recently broke her leg and she’s continuously complained about how much crutches hurt. My dad’s solution to this was to tell my sister she can use my wheelchair. I’m not comfortable with this. My dads reasoning is that I just got out of the hospital and am mostly on bed rest (not completely, I’m just supposed to take things easy for a bit) so I ‘don’t really need it anyways’ but I kinda do need it whenever I have to get out of bed. My sister is perfectly capable of using crutches and honestly I think it’s kinda shitty that my dad is letting her use my chair even when I’m not using it. My dad keeps just saying that I’m not using my chair much anyways and so it doesn’t do any harm, but my sister keeps taking my chair and leaving it by her bed so I can’t get it, then screaming at me whenever I ask for it when I need to get up. My dad has also brought up the fact that he paid for the chair and rescued me (I’m adopted) so he gets to choose what to do with it. Honestly idk if I’m in the wrong for not sharing, but at the same time I think it’s kinda bs to be expected to share a piece of necessary medical equipment ######

Response:
 NTA - your situation is permanent and you need the chair for mobility. Your sister's situation is temporary and given the state of the world, she's probably not really going a lot of places that aren't home.

It does not reflect well that your father is lording your adoption over you as though you owe something for being a part of the family. ######


Prompt:
My sister and I have been in a tense argument. She has constantly been asking my parents for money and support and my parents have been helping her. But my parents don't have much money and their retirement accounts are already down a lot of money.

&#x200B;

My sister has constantly dated shitty guys. Guys that weren't employed, guys that sold weed, no guys that ever had a steady employment. Lots of guys with anger issues, it was her type she liked bad boys/thugs etc whatever word you want to use.

&#x200B;

She has now 2 children from two different marriages. She gets a lot of support from government programs but she still falls short time to time. I have seen her constantly come to my parents for money. I talked to my parents and told them that they can't keep enabling her.

&#x200B;

My sister confronted me called me a POS that I have no idea how difficult life is for her, that she can barely make ends meet and that her job already cut her hours. I told her that lots of this situation is her fault. That she can be unlucky with one two, or even three guys she dated but all of the guys she dated have been scumbags and she needs to look to herself. She then tells me that I should be mad at the guys who abandoned their children not the hard working mom looking after them. I told her that its on her to be responsible for her own life and not have chosen these guys in the first place. ######

Response: NTA - Your sisters poor choices are the reason why she is in her current situation. Lack of contraception and poor choice in men has most likely led to her situation being where it's at now. You are not the asshole for telling her it's her responsibility. ######


Prompt:
I (24f) just left an abusive relationship in the end of February. I moved in with my family because I had nowhere else to go. I just found out that I'm pregnant and told my sister (20) and my mom. I haven't told the rest of my family yet because I want to get a doctor's appointment to confirm and to make sure everything is ok first, but today I decided to tell my brother (22). After I told him, he told me that my sister already told him. I super pissed at her because it wasn't her news to tell. I feel like she violated my trust in so many levels, not to mention stealing a special moment from me. She won't tell me who all she has told about my pregnancy and I'm really hurt. I have a very high risk of losing the baby and I feel like the more people know, the more it will hurt when I lose the baby.

Am I the asshole for being angry at my sister?

I apologise for the bag formatting. I'm on my phone and this is one of my first posts. ######

Response: NTA - your sister knows you have left an abusive situation and her blabbing could cause safety issues for you. ######


Prompt:
A year ago, my grandfather passed away. He was the family patriarch and it was hard on all of us, but especially myself and my sister who he pretty much raised after our father passed.

At the funeral, I was most focused on my mom, my sister and making sure everything went as planned. I guess my sister noticed what people wore. A lot of people showed up and a few did show up in jeans. Others wore sneakers. My grandfather would not have cared. He went to church every Sunday and dressed up for grandma, but then changed as soon as we left service. Is it appropriate funeral attire? No. But it wasn’t like they wore bright colors or disrupted the service in my opinion. To my sister, it did and she feels it was the epitome of disrespect to not wear slacks and dress shoes. Everyone who went probably had nice clothes in their closet, but maybe didn’t want to wear them. Maybe they thought they were paying homage to Grandpa. I don’t know. Some are family members, some family friends.

But a year later and my sister is still pissed. She won’t talk to these family members and when before lockdown, we had my daughter’s communion. She refused to talk to these people. Recently, she went on a rant about it again. I told her she needed to get over it. She told me I was as insensitive as them and hung up. I wore a dress and stockings!

Am I being an ass by thinking she needs to let it go and that it’s no big deal? ######

Response: NTA - Your sister is putting way too much stock in what people wear. ######


Prompt:
First time posting here so forgive any improper etiquette. About a week ago my sister and her 8 year old son came over for lunch. I have a very good relationship with her and my nephew, so they come over here quite often. Lately He's been getting into Star Wars, which I think is great because I'm a huge Star Wars fan. Throughout the past few weeks I've made sure to keep him interested, and usually have a Star Wars themed gift for him when they come over. For this particular visit, I had bought him a Star Wars Lego set. Not a particularly big one, but nonetheless with Lego's prices it was still $50. Anyway, my sister and I are talking at the table while he's building the Lego set in the living room. He runs back to the table incredibly excited and barely speaking coherently. By the time we stand up from the table he's already ran to my bedroom. (I usually keep the door closed but I guess I forgot) When we get there he's jumping up and down and pointing at my lightsaber that's hanging on the wall. Naturally he then proceeds to ask, "Can I see it?" Even I play with it sometimes so I can see how an eight year old couldn't resist. I tell him no and then go to steer him out of my bedroom when my sister asks "Why can't he play with it?" I try to explain to her that it's very expensive, at which point she asks how much. When I reluctantly tell her that it cost me $825 she looks appalled, but still insists that he would be careful and wouldn't break it. At this point she's rather upset and we get in an argument because "I don't want to share my toys". They both left shortly after that. We're not really fighting anymore, but she's still very much annoyed and thinks that I'm wrong to not let her son play with my lightsaber regardless of how much it costs. AITA?

[This is the lightsaber in question](https://vadersvault.com/the-revanchist/) ######

Response:
 NTA - your sister didn't have the right to force you to let your nephew play with it. Some things are off limits and mostly, kids are pretty good at understanding and appreciating that, so she should have backed you on it. Hopefully she realises and apologises!

Also: wicked cool light saber op ######


Prompt:
I have been living with my roomate for 6 months and shes asian, I'm not. I have one spoon that I got from a Asian market (it's the Japanese style deep spoon for soup). I freaken LOVE soup and use that spoon all the time, I've had it for a good year now and I have just the one. My roomate has been using my spoon nonstop for herself and NEVER cleans it. I dont mind sharing but shes starting to use it more often now since we have been stuck inside, I've been making a lot of miso soup and she keeps taking the spoon. I brought it up a couple days ago that its my spoon and I should be able to have first choice to use it when I make soups. She got kinda mad about it and told me that I shouldn't even be using that spoon because I'm not asian ??? Like I didn't know that I had to be asian to use a certain type of silverware. I told her that I would be happy to buy her one so she could stop using mine and this made her more upset for some reason. The conversation went along the lines of "it's my spoon, you never clean it , we have plenty of other spoons!" I let her use my spoon that night but after whe went to bed, I washed it and put the spoon in my room. The next day she was looking for it and asked me where it was and I told her I put it away so she cant use it anymore. She called me a asshole and hasn't talked to me since. So AITA?

TLDR: My roomate kept using my soup spoon and would hardly let me use it and never cleaned it so I hid it in my room, AITA? ######

Response: NTA - your roommate needs to respect your belongings and she isn’t. You get to decide where to keep your personal effects and you do not owe her any explanation. ######


Prompt: I am 13 and live in a family of dedicated christians. I don't believe in any religion, but I still am forced to go to church, fast, pay tithing, and go to a christian school. My parents say that if I don't believe in christ , I can't live with them. I once asked to skip church, and my parents grounded me for a week. I've actually started to hate this religion, because my parents are forcing it onto me. Who is in the wrong here? ######

Response:
 NTA - Your parents suck. Threatening to kick you out is cruel. Grounding you for not going to church with them is pointless. Now, it’s one thing to support going to church as a family, that was always a rule growing up for me. But to actively punish is counterproductive.

If they move beyond what they’re currently doing, like, withholding food or actually kicking you out or beating you - you should contact CPS/the authorities/an adult you trust.

Source: Religious Lutheran ######


Prompt:
My mom asked me to post this to the 'asshole group' so here it is:

My youngest brother is wheelchair bound so my parents own a extended size accessible van. They had to pay a pretty good chunk of change for it and when it breaks down my brother is completely homebound until it's repaired.

The issue is that over time several people have asked to borrow the van. In the past people have asked to borrow it to drive groups of kids to summer camps or zoos, or other functions. Those times she said no.

Now, her best friend has asked her if she can borrow the van to go to a highschool graduation. Due to social distancing, the local highschool is doing a drive by graduation where they hand people their diploma through the window and announce their name on a loud speaker. Her friend's son is graduating so she wants to load a bunch of his friends into the van so that they can "be together for graduation". My mom said that she thinks it's a bad idea because that would violate social distancing rules, but she is feeling bad and having second thoughts. She wants to know if she is TA ######

Response:
 NTA - your mum is just obeying the law and she also is the owner of the van so can do whatever she wants with it.

Did the friend even offer to completely sanitise the van at her own cost after using it? ######


Prompt:
I'm 15 and thus still live with my parents.

I have various mental health problems (DID, psychotic hallucinations, depression, etc.) that my mom connects (for some reason) to my phone. Around 2 months ago, was grounded and not allowed to use my phone for a month. During this time, I was numb. I wasn't feeling any emotion- good or bad. My mom just focused on how I wasn't feeling bad and kept giving me these talks: "Oh, you're so much happier without your phone! Oh, you're not switching without your phone! Oh, you're not hallucinating without your phone!"

I was. I still am. In fact, being without my phone made my hallucinations worse. It made the inner world (where the parts are when they aren't fronting) worse. I just didn't tell her, because I was numb.

When I got my phone back, I was happier and I started opening up again. As soon as I started opening up about switching and hallucinating again, she pulled me aside and told me "When you didn't have your phone, you weren't showing these symptoms. I'm not saying you're faking, I'm just saying I can't ignore the signs."

So I closed off again.

Whenever I try to talk to her about anything, it turns into a lecture and I get a consequence. She was asking me if I wanted to watch Saving Private Ryan and I said I shouldn't due to the nightmare I had the night before. She took my phone away immediately.

So I closed off again.

AITA for not telling her anything anymore? ######

Response: NTA - Your mum clearly doesn't understand what triggers your mental health and finds it easier to blame on your phone which sucks. Is there anyone else you can talk to? ######


Prompt:
Last year me (34m) and my wife (31f) visited her family in South Africa, as we live in the UK but try and her family visit annually. This time I took hundreds of photos with my new camera as where her family lives is beautiful, but i only had one micro sd card with me as my old camera took the bigger sd cards. So after a few days i needed another micro sd card, her mother give me a handful of micro sd cards that have been rattling in her kitchen draw for ages.

This years trip to see her family is cancelled due to Covid Virus, i thought it would be nice to go through all the photos from last years visit and put her family ones on are digital photo frame. One sd cards her mother had give me was full (24GB) of nude/sexual photos of my wife's mother with a few different men.

I wasn't sure what to do, i didn't tell my wife as i didn't think she would want to know/see her mother is that way. I messaged her mother to ask her if i should wipe the SD card or send it back to her. Her mother wanted the SD card back so popped it in the mail back to her mother.

Yesterday my wife found out from her mother's friend (how or why i don't know)and went nuts with me. My wife says i should have told her or just deleted them and said nothing. My defense is what if the photos although they were sexual met a lot to her mother or what if her mother was worried the photos might fall into the wrong hands.

AITA for not deleting the mother inlaw's nudes and not telling my wife i sent them back to her mother ? ######

Response: NTA - Your mother-in-law is entitled to her privacy and her sexual life without her children's interference. ######


Prompt:
You've probably seen these books.  But it's what it says: a book that is hollowed out to hold something, like an engagement ring, weed, money, etc.

When I was sixteen (I'm twenty-five now), my mom gave me this book called 'The Care and Keeping of Husbands', a self-help book.  Yes, my mom is super conservative and into family values and thinks that a woman's place is in the kitchen, etc.  And yes she thought this was a good idea for a sixteenth birthday present when my friends were getting cars or nice jewelry or designer bags.

Sometime later, I found tutorial on how to make a "secret compartment book" and decided to use that "Care and Keeping of Husbands" book as a guinea pig.  It didn't work, so I hid the mangled book in my backpack so I could dispose it at school.  Well, my mom found it while snooping through my backpack, freaked out, and proceeded to ground me for the next month.

We don't talk to each other anymore, but when we did she always brought up how I am an asshole for ruining her birthday present to me and how that book will help me make my future husband happy.

Which would be fine and dandy, but I literally had no other use for that book:  I'm asexual and I have no interest getting a husband ever.

But it does boil down to this: AITA for "ruining" my mom's birthday present to me? ######

Response: NTA - Your mother is for trying to force her view of the world and gender norms onto you, not to mention the breach of privacy by going through your backpack. I applaud you for having found a creative use for such a useless present, even if it didn't work out. ######


Prompt:
We were on a zoom conference with the educational board because they’re trying to make major budget cuts to the music programs when cutting the music budget would only exacerbate the issue. We were both using our own computers.

A parent was being ignorant by saying that the zero period was unappreciated and should be removed because it hurts students. I am a cult follower of the zero period because it enables me to do all of the electives that I want to do without cutting a language. My mom knows this and wanted me to reply to the ignorant parents comment.

My mom started dictating the message to me and it physically made me cringe. It compared the music program to a “rich, flavorful, nutritious meal” and it compared other departments to “greasy fast food”. I didn’t want that message to come from my computer because I didn’t want that on the internet under my name for 200 of my piers to see.

I told her no.

She yelled for a bit about how I was infringing on her speech. I asked her why she couldn’t write the comment from her computer and she said she needed the comment to be from a student in order for it to be more powerful.

After maybe an hour of silence, she wanted to talk again. Her opinion was that I was infringing on her sovereignty by telling her no, and my opinion is that she infringed on my sovereignty by attempting to tell me what I should say.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - Your mom needs to slow her role kno this instance. You are in no way infringing on her right to speak, and it is a manipulation tactic she's attempting to use on you. Furthermore, her way of approaching this is dishonest as she isn't writing it herself.

Stand your ground. I think it's admirable that your standing up to your mom. Use your voice and advocate for yourself. ######


Prompt:
I (19m) ordered a gift for my mom online a couple days ago. Knowing she loves this brand Rituals (a shower gel and beauty kind of thing), i got her a gift box with multiple items in it. Now the website i ordered this on had this gift box listed under "mother's day gift ideas". Without any second thoughts i ordered it thinking she would love it.

Now this gift box arrived the day before mother's day and when it got here i noticed that it looked quite masculine, it had shaving cream in it and the name of the scent was something with a samurai or something. I looked it up and it was actually for men. I felt stupid because it was too late to return it.

I decided to just give it to my mom and explain the situation, i told her she could smell the soaps (without actually taking any soap out of the container) to see if she liked the scents regardless and if not i could return it and she could pick another set. She then opened the soap container, at this point i couldn't return it, and then she posted a picture of it on Facebook making fun of me. She commented "the point of having three kids is that if one of them gets you a bad mother's day gift, the other two can still fix it". Obviously this made me feel upset because I didn't know when I ordered it and i was the only one of her kids to buy her a gift.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - Your mom is, forgive me for saying, a cow. You explained the situation and if she had waited you would have got the correct gift. ######


Prompt:
My parents wanted me to become a doctor since I was a kid. Even though I had always made it very obvious that I'm not interested at all in studying medicine. I want to study business administration.

I finished high school this year, and have to choose between what career path to choose. My parents died in a car accident over a month ago, and now my family is pressuring me to fulfill their wish.

I've been told that I'm a narcissist, and that I'm self-centered, egoistic and insensitive for not considering their wishes for my future since their death.

AITA for still wanting to pursue the career path that I chose for myself? ######

Response:
 NTA - Your life is yours to follow. No one, absolutely no one, not even your parents, have the right to tell you what career you should follow. Hold firm OP, emotions are high right now but you can't cave.

People will just have to accept it, and if they don't - fuck em.

Sorry for your loss. ######


Prompt:
Bit of info - My children see my mother in law a handful of times a year. She lives in a village an hour or 2 bus ride away depending which on route you take. She doesnt come to ours even though she has a lodger who drives her other places and tbh shes a little flaky when we make plans so we just go to hers when we are able to.

I call and facetime her atleast once a week so the kids can keep a good relationship with her but as you can probably tell already it's very much one sided but I do it because my kids have a great relationship with my side and I want the same with them and her.

The issue - mother in law called yesterday and asked if we had plans to go round when lockdown is over as she has something for the kids. I told her as soon as we can we will be over when its allowed. She asked to speak to the kids and told them the surprise. She had gotten a dog!

2/3 were excited the middle one just burst into tears.  The middle one is severely allergic to animals with fur. I'm talking 2/3 x meds a day, and has to carry an epi pen where ever she goes allergic.

Mother in law knows this and just shrugs and says oh well I guess the other 2 will just have to come and she stays at home.

I told my husband that I'm sorry but none of the children will be going as it's not fair on middle, they will be be bringing fur into the house when they return and that I think his mother did it on purpose as the other 2 always says about how they would love a dog but cant because of middle  whenever she asks why we dont have a dog like other families.

Husband thinks ITA because I'm stopping her seeing all kids over one thing but to me it's a big thing as it's dangerous to middle and she knew that.

So WIBTA if I stopped visits? ######

Response:
 NTA - your husband is shrugging his shoulders that your mother in law bought something (a dog!!! No less) that could kill his middle child?

Yeah, no. No visits for MIL and I’m seriously side eyeing your husband like 😒😒😒 ######


Prompt:
I'm 17M, I am of African descent and I have thick, curly, kind of messy hair that I love very much (probably around 2.5 inches) unfortunately, my grandmother passed away on the 3rd of July, at age 91, just two weeks after her husband died at 95. On some rare occasions while she was alive, she'd tell me I need a haircut. (maybe like 1/5 of the times, I'd visit her. You'll see why this is something to consider in a bit).

Due to weird cultural tradition in this country, I am often ostracized for my thick hair (mostly only by family members above 45 who think men's hair should always be short) and last Sunday in the family meeting preparing the funeral, my grandma's daughters (my aunts) have been kind of pressuring me into cutting my hair shorter for the funeral, even going as far as insinuating that I should do it because Grandma recommended me to like 2 years ago. They already pressured my cousin (34M) into shaving his beard. They're kind of acting like one of my Grandmother's dying wishes was for me to cut my hair. I don't understand them at all. I guess nothing says respecting a fallen loved one like cutting my hair??

I am perfectly capable of making it look neater and presentable, but they won't even give me that option. I fear once they pass their concerns to my mother I'm going to lose. I also tried to respectfully and politely decline but they continued to push so I said "I'll do something about it." Without necessarily agreeing to cut my hair. On one hand, I am my own person, I am pretty much an adult and I believe I can't let them control me and my choices like this, but on the other hand, this is not something that should be giving me stress while trying to bury a recently deceased loved one.

It's even worse when you see that most men in my family go bald in their 20s, just let me enjoy my locs while I have them, damnit! ######

Response: Nta - your hair, simple ######


Prompt:
For as long as I can remember, my boyfriend has always been a very egotistical, competitive person. I’m 23 and he’s 22

It’s actually gotten to the point that I hate playing any type of game with him because he absolutely loses his shit when I beat him claiming that I cheated and the game is a load of “bullshit”

He absolutely refuses to admit that I’m better than him at something and goes out of his way to prove that he is in fact better. If he fails, he goes in a strop saying that it’s “fucking shit anyway”

He is normally a very sweet, caring person but this is the one thing I have an issue with.

Well, a couple of days ago he was playing Red Dead Redemption 2 Online with friends, and as always he wanted to compete. So he challenged his friends that whoever finds a 3 star pelt first wins.

I’m sat next to him not really paying attention because i didn’t really understand what they were competing for and was just sat on my phone.

Well, the next thing I know is that he shoots you from his seat, throws his controller on the couch and shouts that his friend is a “fucking c*nt”

I try to start calming him down but it wasn’t really working and I eventually told him that he needs to get over himself.

His friends must of heard me say that because I hear his friends laughing at him through the mic.

A couple of hours go by and he finishes playing with his friends. He turns to me and starts berating me about how I embarrassed him and how his friends kept repeating that he needed to get over himself and that I shouldn’t of said anything.

Now he’s ignoring me and when he does talk to me, it’s in one word answers.

Was it an asshole move of me to tell him to get over himself? Especially since his friends heard me say it ######

Response: NTA - your guy has anger issues and he's over here throwing tantrums like a 5 year old because he didn't win a game. Don't give him any attention when he's like this. Don't try to calm him down. He needs to get some therapy and/or grow the fuck up. ######


Prompt:
My fiancée and I got engaged last month after dating for 3 years. She’s really great. She’s Japanese but was born in America.

Today she called me into the living room while I was just fucking around with the cat and showed me a text she got from a friend of mine, it was long but essentially said that I have a fetish for Asian women. She got this because my last three girlfriends(including my fiancee) have been Asian. But that’s not because I have a fetish, it’s because I live in a high percentage Asian area and a bit of luck. I’ve dated a lot of white girls and various other ethnicities as well.

My fiancée asked if it was true and I explained, and fortunately she was really cool about it and said that even if I did have a thing for Asian women she didn’t really care at this point since I’ve never done anything weird.

But I was really pissed off with my friend so later I called her and yelled at her that she shouldn’t be telling my fiancée lies like that behind my back, and if she thinks there’s a problem she can talk to me about it. She got defensive and said that she has an obligation to try and help women she knows from making possible mistakes, and she didn’t want my fiancée “trapped” in a relationship where I fetishized her. Keep in mind she’s never mentioned anything about it in the past 3 years we dated.

I asked why she’s even friends with me if she thought I would trap my fiancée in a relationship like that, and she said that she didn’t know for certain but thought she should mention it anyway. She then said that she didn’t do anything wrong and that my being angry is only proving her point. She said to call her back when I’m not being “irrational”.

I’m just fuming right now. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - Your friend sounds like a nosy, uptight weirdo. She may also have a thing for you. ######


Prompt:
This has been bothering me for a while now,

But in short one of my subordinates who is also a good buddy of mine, told me about his intentions of turning his “lifelong dream” into reality, which is basically getting his wife pregnant by another man and raise it as his -he isn’t infertile or anything-, I was horrified when I heard this,and I explained how horrible of an idea this was and that children aren’t means of sexual satisfaction for him and his wife.

And another hour of back and forth talking and arguing and this wasn’t his “lifelong dream” anymore but something he is hesitant about, I was happy with the result, and few days later asked him why his wife thought this was an acceptable thing he said something which mortified me even more apparently his “genetics were inferior” and didn’t deserve to be passed to another generation, at this point I had enough and invited him to my house and told him we should discuss this excessively and he agreed right away, at the end of our meeting he was convinced that this was indeed a terrible thought and I suggested divorcing his wife and he was so supportive of that.

He is filing for divorce but it has been delayed due to the pandemic, his wife knew I had a big part in their separation and she has been texting me rude messages every 2-3 days for months now.

Most people are telling me I helped my friend dodge a bullet but some people are also telling me this wasn’t my business and I  shouldn’t have opened my mouth.

So I’m not sure ######

Response: NTA - your friend seems pretty vulnerable. Good thing you saved him from this one. ######


Prompt:
A little background: I (20) grew up in a family of Christians farmers and handy workers. I was seen as "very smart" so they had high hopes for me. They are really traditional and we are french.

So when I was about 7 I went to my uncle house and didn't want to kiss them ( they thought I was being impolite and rebellious) while my stepbrother did. They screamed at me and kept making me feel guilty for that since I was about 16.

When I was 14, I was diagnosed with school phobia along with social anxiety and saw a therapist. I am now offiacially diagnosed with those, alongside with "high functioning autism" and cptsd which is why I can't stand physical contact.

They said I can't have any of those because they never saw me crying or having a panic attack, and that all autistic poeple are "dumb and drooling everywhere" and I just use that as an excuse because I'm lazy (while forcing me to study subjects i'm not good at).

My mom has a high sense of family and what it means and wants me to texts them (and her) often, to go to their house when I'm not far from home for studies. I am kind of scared of her because she is a huge part in what caused my cptsd.

I'm really lost in what I should do, I was raised to think about family first but that is only one of the traumatic events I went through, being LGBT in this kind of traditional family.

AITA for wanting to cut ties with my family? ######

Response: NTA - Your family seems pushy and emotionally abusive, especially by using a legitimate medical diagnosis as a means of guilt-tripping and accusing you. You do not need any such people in your life regardless of whether they are family or not. If you believe that cutting ties with your family will maintain your mental health and stability, please don't hesitate to do so. ######


Prompt:
My 23 year old daughter and her husband moved in with us a few months ago. I'll call them Josh and Ashley. My husband and Josh do not get along for a lot of reasons. Some of them are valid, like Josh does not contribute financially, he is rude and ignorant, and he has allegedly cheated on our daughter. They also don't get along for a few petty reasons, such as my husband makes fun of him for wearing skinny jeans, Josh is kind of socially inept, my husband is very cold and Josh tries to do this fake affection thing to piss him off.

Well that other day I guess Josh put some makeup on him as a prank while he was sleeping. My husband went insane, called Josh some horrible names, told our daughter he is ashamed of her. He told them they both had to be out by that night or he was going to have the police throw them out. Now I think this is ridiculous, especially when he's married to me and I've certainly played dumb pranks on him, which he was able to laugh off, but I also feel like it is his house as well and I don't have the right to override him. I wouldn't be ok with him having someone I didn't want living in the house. I told my daughter I think it is an overreaction, but she needs to respect her father and now she isn't speaking to me. ######

Response: NTA - Your daughter needs to realize she married a jackass.  Josh intentionally antagonized his father in-law and disrespected him under his own roof.  This man is/was a guest in your home and instead of being grateful, he behaved like an idiot child.  I honestly don't blame your husband for kicking him out.  Don't let your daughter manipulate you into feeling bad about it.  She sounds very immature. ######


Prompt:
So my daughter (20MTF) declared she was going to start her hormones injections and then was planning to get all types of available surgeries (Facial Feminization, Gender Reassignment Surgery, Facial Feminization Surgery) soon after that,

and is asking me to pay for it and she doesn’t want the average doctor to perform it but only the best, so with what she has in mind it totals up to around 190k-200k$ , I refused because although it won’t crush me absolutely but it will definitely hinder me for many years and prevent my travel plans

And I really want her to save up if she wants them so bad, but she called me a transphobic who doesn’t understand what she’s going through.

I’m kinda confused but quite firm on my decision not to pay ######

Response: NTA - your daughter is an adult. I understand her wanting you to help, but to assume you’ll front the entire cost is unreasonable. Plus, calling you transphobic because you’re not paying is really shitty IMO ######


Prompt:
So my husband and I have four kids. The one in question is our 16 year old daughter. I'd like to think my husband and I are quite progressive parents so we let her live her own life. She has a 17 year old boyfriend and they've been going at it for 8 months (I think). He's okay but crosses too many boundaries.

Against our requests he has a tendency of coming to the house unannounced, 'losing track of time' and asking us to give him a ride home at at 11 pm. When we talk to him about this he mutters something under his breath and goes off. When he was staying with us shortly before the whole 'rona mess, he was way too touchy with our daughter in our presence. This went from spanking her whenever she was bending over/leaning on something and openly snogging each other. We also suspect he stole my husband's cologne but that's just a suspicion.

Yesterday my husband and I were doing heavy cleaning around the house (it's been months) and I found a stain on one of the sides of a cushion. I thought it was nothing at first but my husband confirmed it was a cum stain. After a some investigating we crossed out everyone but my daughter. When we spoke to her she admitted that they had sex on the couch. The couch in the living room that all of us use. So we told her straight that he's not allowed in the house again.

She says we're overreacting but we're done. Are we the assholes in this case? ######

Response:
 NTA - Your daughter and boyfriend (especially him) were openly disrespectful to you. On multiple times. And having sex on common furniture??? And LEAVING THAT MESS??? So. Bad.

My only issue is at least if they’re in your house you can keep an eye on them. Banning him altogether may cause problems in your relationship with her.

This boyfriend sounds like a piece of work and most likely won’t be your daughters forever partner (hopefully) but I’d try to explain to her everything that’s happened and offer an apology deal or something to allow him to come back if he changes. Not for him but for your daughter ######


Prompt:
sorry for any run on sentences and grammatical errors.  english isn't my first language and I'm doing this via mobile phone.

so my son is 16 months old (1year and 4 months) and he had immunodeficiency.  he can't get any vaccines due to this an we are constantly in and out of the hospital due to how easily he gets very very sick.

I am on a family group and my aunt posted a picture of "how to decline a vaccine legally" and a link to how Bill Gates is going to microchip everyone with the vaccine.

I tried to relay as much information I have gathered about how this isn't true and I begged them to please get the vaccine once it arrives.

note: I did say if they didn't get the vaccine due to medical reasons it would be a different situation

they (my mother, grandmother and both aunts) then proceeded to tell me they won't get the vaccine as it is "the mark of the devil".

that's when I told them that if they don't get the vaccine they won't be able to visit my son as he has a sever immunodeficiency.

that's when my family blew up and called me names and told me I was a bad mother for even considering it.

so AITA? ######

Response: NTA - Your child, your rules. You have every right to protect him, and their ignorance is not worth the life of your son. ######


Prompt:
So here’s the story:

My aunt called me today and told me she told her coworker that’s I’d be on my way to assist them in setting up their work from home station.

I told my aunt no, that’s not what’s happening because I’m not doing that. That if she needed help, then my aunt could go and help her.

See, my aunt and my family have this habit of not only requesting my help for bullshit but also trying to get me to do things I did not agree to do. Things none of us know how to do but they don’t want to TRY, they just want me to do it.

My mother and I got a new printer and my mother took it upon herself to try and set it up. When she couldn’t, she called for me to help and my first response was “Well... did u read the instructions?” To which she got mad. I took the instructions and told her like look, I don’t know how to do it either so the best I can do is read the instructions, which is the same thing u can do. So we just going to sit here and read em together.

When my aunt got her work from home stuff, she wanted me to help her set it up even though I am also working from home. I told her I didn’t know how, and that she just plug the shit up and see how it turns out. For two days she did nothing until I came and literally just plugged shit into where it fit.

Now I’m literally telling her to tell her coworker that’s all she has to do. She doesn’t want to help her. Her coworker doesn’t want to use common sense.

And now I’m being look at as the bad guy all because I don’t want people to volunteer my time for shit not even I know how to do.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - Your aunt "volunteering" you to visit someone else's home is incredibly irresponsible right now.

Besides, their company should be providing them with tech support, not relying on random strangers. ######


Prompt:
I know how the title sounds!

I’ve been with my husband since I was 17 and he was 20, his sister is 4 years younger than him.

3 years into our relationship we got married, I’m 28 now.

I gave birth 8 months ago and I’m currently 6months pregnant with our second.

Two years  ago my husbands sister lost her flat, she had a 2 year old so I of course agreed to let her stay with us- rent for her is £200 a month (which barely covers her food) and we specified she would have to tidy up after herself and her child because my husband and I both work full time.

I’ve been off for a while now, I’m still working from home though but no longer go into the office and while his sister has never been the tidiest (she did the bare minimum) she now does absolutely nothing apart from making a mess.

My husband helps out sometimes but, bless his heart, he can burn water and he has no back bone meaning despite only having one child at the moment I’m tidying up after two, three if you count his sister.

My husband wants to give his sister a break since she’s not been late on rent and helps us out sometimes so we can have a day for ourselves (we pay her £11 an hour for that)

Since getting pregnant with our second all she’s done is talk down to me, we’ve had some *heated* arguments, my husband tends to stay neutral.

I’m sick of her, I’ve mentioned it to the both of them - if she isn’t out by January I’m leaving, if she continues giving me attitude she can leave by October.

My husband is now upset for “alienating” his sister who’s trying to get her life back on track (saving for a house, considering going  university and working)

At this stage I don’t care if she starts tidying up after herself, I’m done but now I’m wondering if I’m being harsh and overreacting.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - you’ve given her plenty of notice to sort it all out. She clearly takes advantage of you and your husband. And im sorry, but if she has been there for two years, that is ample time to “get her life back on track”. You have enough on your plate as it is. ######


Prompt: Last year I worked with someone (as equal peers) in an internship while finishing my masters degree and we became friends. I have been a manager for the past 5 years, we work for the same company but in different departments, and we have continued to speak with each other often and share school work. Today she reached out to me on my personal Facebook account to ask me about one of my open positions knowing that I am the hiring manager. She asked me how much I was paying, and I let her know I could not disclose that information. She then let me know that she was going to apply followed by a wink emoji. Instead of brushing it off or leading her on, I messaged her to let her know that I would not hire her. I told her that “we are openly friends and it would be favoritism”. I have too much integrity to hire someone that is my personal friend. When I told her this, she became angry and accused me of discriminating against her... Being a manager is already garbage, and I feel like she put me in a really tough spot. Being my friend aside, she is not even qualified. I don’t believe in giving handouts, this is a reason why I don’t have many work friends, and this is a good example of why I usually don’t befriend work folks on my personal social medial accounts. Am I being the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA - You’re stopping yourself from being biased about hiring, and that’s true integrity. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been writing porn stories for about 2 years now. It’s not huge but I make $750-$1500 dollars a month from it, sometimes even more, which really helps supplement my income. It’s nothing super super hardcore though some of the kinks I guess could be considered “weird.”

I was talking with my boyfriend of about a year and I just casually dropped this information. He got mad at me! But I didn’t think it was a big deal. He seemed to almost think it was a dealbreaker and that it’s super weird that I do this, that only really strange and messed up people write that sort of stuff. He’s not a prude, we’ve had sex, so it’s just all strange to me. AITA for not telling him about it straight off the bat/earlier? ######

Response: NTA - you’re not cheating, you’re writing. He shouldn’t be offended by what you write regardless if the topic is “weird” to him, everyone has their kinks and it’s not cool to kink-shame. ######


Prompt:
Greetings everyone, I would like to begin by advising that this is my first post here so... bear with me please. With that being said, if I break any rules here please let me know, thank you :)

With *that* out of the way, here we go!

I’ll keep it brief, my name is Jay, and I have a girlfriend who lives an hour away, we haven’t seen each other in a month so online contact is crucial.l, which that being said, I am a person who enjoys getting healthy hours of sleep, meanwhile, my girlfriend goes to sleep at 5:00AM and wakes up like at 3:00PM. And that is the only damn time she makes for me, at midnight and up. Which frustrates me because she makes almost no time for me and time for me. She proceeds to guilt me into not making time for her at night. I’d 100% prefer to sleep and wake up happy to have productive day then listen to my girlfriend ramble about her basic friends and scroll endlessly through Instagram. She doesn’t even care about how I am emotionally/physically/spiritually when we talk etc. AITA?!?

Nor does she appreciate me risking my sleeping hours to listen to her.

Our situations:
-She is rich and the only child in the house
-I am struggling due to a legal situation from my dad and have 4 siblings who live with me

Note: yes I’ve discussed this with her and told her every single detail mentioned here, she proceeds to tell me I’m boring or “boomer” (haha funnies), or simply doesn’t care.

By the way... thanks for reading this at least, it means a lot :) ######

Response:
 NTA - you’re entitled to get some kip and a decent amount to stay healthy.

On a side note you may want to take a look at your relationship. You two seem too opposite and to have values that are clashing on stuff that’s sort of important, which may escalate in future.

Not saying you need to split but just take a look at things ######


Prompt:
I’m a stay-at-home mom with four kids, ages 3-9. Husband has been working from home for the past few weeks. We didn’t have a home office set up before this. He could have chosen the guest room at the back of our house for his work space, as there’s a desk in there. But he said it was too small for him, so he set up in the dining room. He tried to block off an area with room dividers, but it’s not the same as having actual walls. Also, the dining room is (obviously) right next to the kitchen, but also next to our designated playroom for the kids.

His job is fairly flexible, but we try to stay out of his way while he’s working, especially when he has conference calls. I’ve taken the kids to the back room at times when he’s asked for quiet, or we’ve gone for walks.

On this particular day, his call was close to lunchtime and I was making food in the kitchen, while the kids were in the playroom, where I can see them from the kitchen. I did have to keep reminding them to keep their voices and playing quieter, but I actually thought they were doing a good job.

When the call was over, husband came out of his “office” and said, “well, that was the worst meeting I’ve had. They couldn’t be quiet for one hour. That’s all I asked for: one hour.” I couldn’t even respond. I felt like it was all my fault and I was a terrible person for not taking the kids out of the house for that hour. This feeling was made worse by the fact that there was nowhere to escape in the moment. We’re all stuck at home together.

I have friends who’ve made work-from-home spaces in garages so that they’re away from the noise of their kids. I understand that it’s stressful to change his work environment and that the kids are distracting, but my job has also changed a lot, with no school or activities or friend visits to distract the kids.

So, am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA - You've been really accommodating so far, so it doesn't sound like he "only asked" for one hour of quiet. If it bothers him that much he could move to the smaller space for video calls. I also think a lot of people are irritable during this time ######


Prompt:
##### First of all, I really don't want to offend or disrespect anyone with this question. English isn't my first language so really doing my best here.

###### Long story short:
I'm 25 years old, I was born in China and adopted by white Canadian parents when I was 7 months old. I've been living in a big city since then. My origins and my adoption have never tormented me, and to be honest, I sometimes forget that I am not Caucasian like most of my friends.

###### The situation:
People often make comments related to my origins. When the comments are disrespectful, I will react. But most of the times, I have the impression that there is no bad intention, just a lack of education. 3 very common examples:

> Clients that I've exchanged many emails with (they know my very "Canadian" name) and talked over the phone who see me physically for the first time will say "ah I didn't expect that" (refering to my looks vs. my very non asian name).

Or
> People who end up saying "it's impressive you don't have an accent" (wondering why I don't have a Mandarin accent).
&nbsp;

Or
> Other random example just so you understand how insignificant it often is: this weekend at the grocery store, a lady stopped me and asked me which was the best ramen noodles brand while I was walking in the "asian products' aisle.

I am always surprised when I get these types of comments (1-2 x a month), but my first reaction is to feel sorry for people saying that, thinking it's sad they did not get the education I had a chance to have, and that they've never been exposed to diversity and they must be stuck in a very sad world.

###### AITA for not answering these types of comments?
Should I be more offended and say something? Does my lack of intervention makes me part of the whole racism problem? ######

Response: NTA - You're the person affected by these comments, so you get to decide how best to handle them. ######


Prompt:
My Daughter has been in a relationship for 10 months and we really like the kid, he's a great kid, gets good grades and addresses us with "Sir" and "Ma'am" respectively. So, it's not like we disapprove..However, every month it's "Hey mom it's our 1 month can I order us grubhub?" "Its our 2 month, 3 month" ECT. You get the point.
We just moved into a bigger house, so naturally, bills are more. We haven't even received our first round of bills yet and we're apprehensive about blowing money. Everytime she orders it's at least 35 dollars!
So, here's the questionable statement I made. "Guys, I love you both and you know we like having you around boyfriend, so don't take this the wrong way. Not every month is an anniversary and doesn't require spending 30-50 dollars. I know they feel special and that's great but Dad and I can't afford to blow money right now"
There it is..I was met with dagger stares and my daughter exclaimed "Wow mom, thanks for taking a dump on our happiness!" Boyfriend just looked embarrassed and didn't say anything. He's usually the one trying to get her under control. My daughter has a hot head like her Father. Am I the asshole?? I don't feel like I should have to fork out money for food, rides to special locations and go out of my way everytime they make it another month. 14yo daughter btw.

Info: she's paid 200 a month, I had already prepared dinner with more than enough to go around and the questionable statement I made was after 5-6 "but why??" Statements. I shouldn't have down played their day, I was young once and had a first long boyfriend. There will definitely be some family budgeting and personal budgeting talks but I'm hoping this teen parenting thing gets more seamless in 10 years because her 4yo sister is next😂 ######

Response: NTA - You're the parent and honestly paying for dates is something that a 14 year old doesn't really need when there are bills to be paid. ######


Prompt:
I know it sounds bad but hear me out. I am aware that just because you’re in a relationship that attraction to other people doesn’t just stop, and that’s fine!! I’m chill with my bf finding other people attractive and I’m not mad at that.
However, I do suffer with super low self esteem and some other mental health problems which he is aware of and I’m also working on them.

My boyfriend comments on other women often. It’ll always be something sexual as well, which makes me super uncomfortable. It feels like it’s constantly happening like on dates, going shopping, grabbing a coffee, watching a film etc. It kinda wears me down but I also feel like I’m being stupid. I understand he finds them attractive and that’s okay but I have asked him to stop multiple times just because I can’t always brush it off as much as I’d like to and it does mess with my head a bit. He checks people out a lot as well and sometimes it feels as though I can’t have a conversation with him if an attractive girl is walking by because he’s so distracted. When I ask him to stop he always says its just who he is and he won’t stop making comments in front of me because he thinks it’s funny. I tried to ignore it because I figured I am being whiny and overreacting, but one day I was just in a bad mood and he made some dumb comment about some woman's boobs and I once again told him to please stop and that it was upsetting me, I think I probably got too snappy. He got mad at me and didn’t speak to me until I said sorry.
I guess I’m just wondering if I’m being too insecure? Sometimes I don’t realise and just need to hear other people’s opinion. ######

Response: NTA - You're right, people in relationships will still find other people attractive. However, people who are not AHs will not bring up this fact in front of their SO knowing full well that this damages the SO's self-esteem. He's also being disgusting and creepy making sexual comments about other women. He would be TA regardless of whether he was in a relationship or not. And making you apologize for getting upset? Yikes. ######


Prompt:
So evidently my roommate has moved her boyfriend in with us during quarantine. Before this he was here 5-6 nights a week, which I had expressed some discomfort with, but now he straight up lives here. Stores his stuff in the living room, comes and goes without her, etc. None of this was run by me. He also lives in the same town, so I'm not sure why the've decided to stay here but I'm not sure I can kick him out at this point given the state of things.

He likes to hangout in the common spaces a lot without her and do work on his laptop, workout in the living room, cook in the kitchen etc. At night they usually watch TV together in the living room. Previously I've tried to be respectful and give them/him their own space but I've been getting kind of annoyed with it. So recently I've been doing whatever I want. If he's working out in the living room and I want to watch the TV I just go and do it. The wifi doesn't reach my room very well so if I want to video chat I have to do it in the dining room and if he's in there too I just go and do it anyways. If they're cuddled up watching TV and I want to use the kitchen which looks into the living room I just do it.

The reason I could be the asshole is because everytime I do those things he just gets up and Ieaves and goes back to her room. If they're together in the common areas and I show up they usually stop what they're doing and leave. I haven't really made an attempt to rectify this because I honestly don't know the man at all and don't really wanna interact with him anyway. My logic is that if it was just me and my roommate we would have no problem sharing these spaces  which is what we used to do. I also pay about $1200 in rent so I don't think I should modify my schedule for someone living here for free.

AITA for going about my life as if my roommates boyfriend isn't even there even if it seems to make him uncomfortable. ######

Response:
 NTA - you're paying to be there, he's squatting.
You should talk to them about it though. He should keep his stuff in her room, not in the common areas. ######


Prompt:
I \[30M\] live with two roommates - Kate \[32\] and Sean \[27\].

Sean is a genuinely sweet guy, but, uh, kind of lacking on the common sense department, to put it gently. The joke goes that he's secretly 5 years old \[we say that to his face, and he agrees with that statement\]. Until last July, he was juggling Acting school, waiting tables for money and then also got caught in some really obvious pyramid scheme.

How obvious? He has the diagram of the "company's model" hanging over his desk, and it's pyramid-shaped. The poor guy pays 100$ every month for "membership" in his "business", gets nothing in return and is still sticking with it. When he ran out of money, he got his parents to pay it for him. He also stopped going to auditions about a month after graduation, to focus on his "business". Both Kate and I tried to warn him gently multiple times, but Sean kept insisting we were "wrong about it" and "don't know anything". I've never seen him getting so defensive and angry about anything else. We eventually left it alone, though we kept rolling eyes about it whenever he was making "business calls", complained about not having money, etc.

Yesterday, when I got back from work, Sean was on the couch, doing a "business call" \[AKA trying to recruit people to his MLM\]. Afterward, he came to my room to chat, and started complaining about a seemingly "Why do random people keep adding me to random shady groups?". Without thinking, I replied "Maybe they're trying to recruit you to their own pyramid schemes".

Sean got furious, and started ranting about how he's "disappointed" with me not "fact-checking" \[I am familiar with that specific MLM...\], and for not "supporting him", and how he "expected better" of me and Kate. Afterwards he walked out of the apartment, in what I'm pretty sure was an attempt to actively avoid me.

I can't help but to feel terrible about that incidence, but also kind of irritated and annoyed. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - You're just trying to make sure he's not being further taken advantage of, and if  he doesn't want to listen, it's just too bad for him. ######


Prompt:
This happened about a year ago:

I'm female artist, and my niece (6yo) absolutely loves me. One time I let her come into my bedroom when she was visiting and I forgot about the tasteful nude I had pinned to the wall behind my door. It was of a middle-aged naked woman lounging. I created it in a figure drawing class.

My niece saw it and very innocently asked. "Why is she naked?"

 I'd didn't think it was a big deal because I'm pretty desensitized to nudity, so I anwered very plainly.

*"oh yeah. That was a drawing I did. Most artists have to learn how draw naked people. Even if they're gonna wear clothes over top."*

She seemed amused by that.

Well a few weeks later my family all go to a free art musium near by. My niece and I break off and are walking around the rooms, and at one point my niece stops me at a few portraits. She has me lean in and not so quietly whispers. "did- did this artist draw these people naked too?"

I chuckle and say, "yeah, probably."
My niece chuckles with me.

At that point I hear a 'tsk' from a woman near me. I glance over and this older woman is glarring right at me. She speaks under her breath, *"That's disgusting..."* and walks away.

I felt really bad after that. Was it too soon for me to tell my niece that stuff about this aspect of art? ######

Response: NTA - You weren't sexualizing the human body in anyway, you were just telling your niece a simple fact about the art industry and artists. Personally I think it's good that by being so casual about the topic you're showing her that nothing about drawing people while nude is inherently wrong or weird. A lot of people could stand to learn this lesson. ######


Prompt:
So a while ago I hooked up with this girl. She’s pregnant now and her parents kicked her out. Since it might of been my baby I said she could stay with me. But if the paternity tests said I was not the father she would have to move out.

Because of everything going on it took longer than  usual to get the results of the paternity test, but we got it back earlier today and I am definitely not the father.

So I told her that she can continue to stay for a few more days, but she has to leave by Saturday. Now she’s freaking out and crying because she says she has no money and nowhere to go and is asking me to let her stay longer.

I do sympathize with her situation, but I just don’t want her to stay anymore. She’s a nice person, but I don’t know her that well and don’t feel comfortable with her around and in my space all the time. More importantly though if she’s still here on Sunday she will have been here for 30 days which would make her legally a resident and then I would have a much harder time getting rid of her and you never know what issues could arise. ######

Response:
 NTA - you were willing to step up and help if it was your child but since it’s not she’s not your responsibility

Her parents kicking her out makes it sound like she’s young, which is some cases the parents circle back and calm down so maybe have her try reaching out to them?

Don’t let it get to the 30 days tho, I know what it’s like living with someone you want out and anytime the law is on their side it makes it so impossible ######


Prompt:
So this happened maybe 10 min ago at the park, I own a shiba inu, if you know anything about the breed they are not like most dogs in a lot of aspects, I have owned several of them one who I got a little older who had some very bad aggression issues but after years of training and love became one of the best dogs I have ever owned. Also I have worked in humane societies and have a certificate through the AKC to train dogs ( not saying a am the dog whisperer or some crap). This lady walks up to me and asks what kind of dog I have and I tell her a shiba inu and she responds by telling me that is the type of dog her and her husband have been looking into getting and if could tell her anything about the breed? I explained good and bad aspects of the dog for a min or two and asked if she had ever owned dogs before which she replied no and I said I usually wouldn’t suggest someone getting this breed as a first time dog owner which at that point she became noticeably upset and snapped back with telling me that I am extremely rude for telling her she shouldn’t get a certain kind of dog when she doesn’t even know her and walked off.
When I left I wondered if I was being to harsh or not? ######

Response: NTA - you were just giving honest and useful advice. Maybe she can’t handle a difficult breed and it would be bad for her and the dog to be in that situation. ######


Prompt:
I was engaging in a casual debate with one of my fiancée’s friends. He just mentioned with Hartley Sawyer situation that people should be absolutely held accountable to anything they said, even if it was long ago and during a different time.

I disagreed with him respectfully, but he just outright said that there is absolutely no exception. So, you know what I had to do.

I scoured through his entire twitter account and made a program that would detect a bunch of whitelisted words. I found one where he uses the word “faggot” to refer to one of his friends. Keep in mind, he was probably 14 when he posted that. I just sent him the message, and suddenly he got all pissed and said that I shouldn’t scour though his messages and that I’m being a pompous ass.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - You were holding him to his own standard that you disagreed with.  It tests consistency or points out flaws in an argument.

You didn't publicly shame him, but rather privately messaged him.  Clearly you're not saying that he should be held accountable, but are using an example to make a valid point.

He's just mad because he doesn't want to admit you made a good point and he doesn't want to bite the bullet and say that he SHOULD be held accountable. ######


Prompt:
I am a 16 and my sister also 16 has a girlfriend. My step mom changed my room even though my sister only came in the weekends to a double bed room and put most of my things away in the attic to make room for my sisters thing. She used the other room as a home office.

My sister was supposed to have a sleep over and got permission from her mom without talking to me. I was outside jogging and came inside only to find my sisters girlfriend sleeping in my bed. I was pissed and told the sisters girlfriend to get the fuck out of here or I  will make her.

My sister and her girlfriend refused. I called my dad and he came in and told my sister's girlfriend to get the fuck out or he will be calling her mom to pick her up. She got out of and took her stuff. My step sister was crying saying how she can never have a sleep over and blames me for it. She called me a selfish bich and told me I ruin everything ######

Response:
 NTA - You wanted to sleep in your own bed and were just not thought about at all, sounds like your stepmom isn’t a great caregiver so sorry about that.

No idea why people are saying you’re an asshole, it was your bed and they didn’t offer you any sort of respect at all so by all means do what you can to claim it back. ######


Prompt:
I (F22) and my boyfriend (M26) have been dating for a year and a half now. We quarantined together and are now in the process of moving in together.

This week our city loosened up social distancing guidelines, so my boyfriend wanted to go play a game of pickup soccer with about five of his friends. They said they were all bringing their girlfriends so my bf asked me to come and I said sure.

Now the thing is that I'm actually pretty good at soccer. My first boyfriend ever was actually in a very good European club's academy, and then I dated an MLS player for three years. Obviously they weren't just straight teaching me how to play, but I helped them practice and train and I picked up a lot from them. I also played high school soccer and then club soccer in college.

When we got to the park my boyfriend said we should play boys against girls so we did.

We actually ended up tying. However my boyfriend played really really badly. At one point he took a penalty that I saved, I blocked several of his shots, intercepted many of his passes, tackled him a bunch of times and took the ball from him, and I even nutmegged him once.

I want to clarify that I really wasn't trying to target my bf, I was just playing and everything happened. I didn't go easy on him but I didn't try to humiliate him either.

It was a fun game and I thought everything was fine until we got home. My bf went off on me about how humiliating the whole thing was for him, and how I had no right to play like that against him. He said I was clearly not considering his feelings, and he's been giving me the silent treatment since then. I think I was just playing a game. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - you shouldn't have to make yourself less in order to make someone who is supposed to love you feel like more.  Your bf should be proud of how well you played.

If your bf's masculinity is that fragile, then his issue is probably deeper than one game. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account.

I own a business in a state where weed is not legal. Recently some new tenants moved into the apartments above my store and since they have moved in, most mornings when I come to work my store smells like pot. I have no problem with people who smoke pot, I've been around it many times at parties, and normally I don't care about it. I personally don't smoke but that's just my preference. The only reason I care is because I don't want my business to smell like pot. Air fresheners do not always cut it.

I want to mention this to my landlord so that they stop. Here's the kicker - the apartments above my store are rented by the Department of Corrections (might be DOJ) and the people living there are either recently released from jail/prison or on parole. I do not plan on reporting it to the police, just my landlord. What he does is up to him.

WIBTA for reporting their pot smoking? ######

Response: NTA - you run a business that could suffer if people walk in and the place smells like bud.  that sucks and is directly hurting you.  I think it'd be a dick move to tell the cops but i feel like you're well within rights to tell the landlord anyway and let them handle it. ######


Prompt:
Sold a second hand computer item, at a bargain price. Just wanted some funds to upgrade.

The buyer was a great guy, and we chat for hours on FB about retro computers. The computer part I sold him was incompatible with his equipment though, and I immediatly offered to refund him in full. I had other buyers for it, and besides, I could still use it myself up until my upgrade was ready.

I urged him to return it, and even offered to pick it up myself.  Didn't hear from him... then about a month after the sale, he's asking me to meet so he can return the item. I refused politely, stating I'd try and contact the other potential buyers who were interested first.

But now wondering if I'm in the wrong here. ######

Response: NTA - you offered to take it back and he didn't respond to your offer despite knowing the part didn't fit. Also sounds a bit fishy to me and I am wondering if you might receive a damaged part back. ######


Prompt:
Tonight I ordered in food from DD.

My building is a bit hard to find because the number is on the side facing away from the parking lot. In my instructions I have written detailed directions to find the building as well as which door to use since only one has a call box.

About 15 minutes after the app texts saying my dasher 'Deborah' is near, I get call. No big deal, occasionally people get confused and need extra help. Instead of being a female as expected, it is an irate man. He proceeds to complain about wasting time and gas driving around for 15 minutes to find my apartment. I ask if he read the driver instructions and where he was so I could guide him to the building. He avoids answering and raises his voice further saying I've wasted $5 of gas money, he deserves a better tip ($5 on a $17 order is what I had already set up) and next time I should go pick it up myself and not be lazy. I tell him to give me the number of the building he is at leave the food and I will come get it.

Getting outside, there is only one car with a female driver who got out of the car and handed me my food without a word. No guy was insight.

Typcially I do not complain about drivers or leave poor ratings (don't think I've left below a 3). However it's unprofessional and threatening to have a male call and berate me over finding my building. I left the driver 1 star and lodged a complaint with the app. It automatically offered me a credit in the amount of the tip left.
Honestly I do not know if it removes
the tip, which was not my intent.

It's been an hour and now I'm starting to second guess if I overreacted by reporting the driver for being unprofessional and communication issues. Should I have just left with the low rating and not complained? I know tough it's right now for everyone and don't want cause someone to lose their income. ######

Response: nta - you left instructions and obviously they could call you if they got confused. if they wasted time driving around, that's on them. and having someone else call to berate you? sounds like they were trying to intimidate you into giving them more money. you gave a decent tip already, that review was deserved. ######


Prompt:
I have a three legged dog, he has been missing his back right leg since I before I got him.

My sister and her boyfriend came to visit me at my apartment over the weekend for some drinks. I've met her boyfriend before but this is the first time he met my dog. As soon as he saw the dog he started calling him "Gimpy". Obviously my dog walks with a limp so I suppose that's the reason.

My sister and I kind of awkwardly laughed the first time he said it even though it wasn't really funny. I told him my dogs actual name, Milo, right away.

Throughout the night he would NOT stop calling Milo, Gimpy. I asked him to stop after the third time but he just started calling him other things like "Mr. Gimp" or just "Gimp". I was just really really bothered by him calling my dog that and after maybe an hour of them being there I just snapped and said really firmly "Stop calling him that, its not his name and I want you to stop".

Sister's boyfriend just laughed it off and told me I'm overreacting and my sister told me to just drop it. They were both just saying the dog doesn't understand and its just a joke.

I just found it super obnoxious and when it became clear he wasn't going to stop, I asked him to leave. I wasn't rude, I just told them I was tired and didn't want to deal with it so get out.

They left, both telling me I was overreacting. My sister called me the next day and asked me to apologize to her boyfriend. She told me I took it too far and embarrassed her by kicking them out. I guess she told my parents because my mom texted me today telling me just to apologize and keep the peace.

I don't think I'm wrong and I don't think I should apologize. So I am asking for a third party view on the situation.

Am I the asshole here?

tldr: Kicked sister and her boyfriend out after he wouldn't stop calling my dog "Gimpy" ######

Response: NTA - you just dont come to someones house and insult their pet. ######


Prompt: I can’t exactly remember how it got to this but my mom and I were talking about the house were living in and she said “And then when you move out I can come live with you” and I said “Oh I don’t really want you to live with me” and she got mad and was like “Do you not care about me and want to take care of me?” And like yeah I do care about her I just don’t want to have her live with me when I have my own house. It’s MY own house. She was talking about how she can’t do her job forever. She’s a 51 year old fitness trainer. Her knees are fucked up and she’s not gonna be able to do it for long and she knows that. She said “I’m not gonna get a new job once I can’t do this one. Are you not gonna take care of me?” I see it as her fault for choosing that as her only job or whatever. Anyways yeah that’s all I gotta say ######

Response: NTA - You have your own life to live and it's not your job to support your parents. ######


Prompt:
AITA for telling my sister her bf sucks
So my sister (20) and I(24) are roommates and she started dating her bf (24) about a year ago. Sister and I have always been close and when she got a boyfriend I was excited to get to know him, but every time we met he was standoffish and would just go to my sisters room. I brushed it off as social awkwardness and didn’t press it. So in a year we’ve had a handful of conversations (again he doesn’t seem to want to get to know me and I didn’t mind). Recently I went on a 2 hour trip with sister, her bf and her bf’s friends. On the trip him and his friends started to saying extremely racist and homophobic things, which really upset me. After this continued on for a while I finally asked them to stop, which turned into a tangent on how I can’t handle the facts. My sister seemed equally irratated but it seemed she let it go by the next day, I however was still horrified. Anyways two days later we meet again I try being cordial and he just insults me, and my sister did not stand up to him so I told him he was being rude and he should leave. He leaves and my sister turns on me for being a “bitch” and being sensitive. I said he has a place why don’t you hang out there, because I don’t feel comfortable with him being around the way he’s been acting (not to mention he constantly has a g*n on him in our house). Next day he’s back and refuses to acknowledge me and I here them complaining about me in her room which obviously hurts my feelings. So after he leaves I confront her about him being so racist and homophobic and rude  and making me all around uncomfortable and she turns it into a screaming match, essentially saying what do I want her to do. Anyways I feel like I should’ve just kept my mouth shut regarding the situation as it seems to have made things worse and I don’t want to fight with my sister but i don’t want to see her end up with someone who is obviously a bad dude. ######

Response: NTA - you have your concerns and you told her about them, and it's clear she's complicit in him and his friends' behaviors. There was going to be a clash eventually. If she's screaming at you to tell her what to do, then clearly she doesn't want to break up with and doesn't see the racism and homophobia as dealbreakers. ######


Prompt:
I(19F) got a summer job at a caffè that is a part of an insurance and car company. My customers are basically the employees and their customers. All the employees get free drinks and they can treat whoever they want and so can I so yesterday my friend(17F) came by for a cup of coffee. She was sitting at the bar and chatting with me for almost 2 hours and when she left two male coworkers, let's call them Ben and Carl, sat down for a drink and started talking to me.
Ben(36M): Hey Carl, did you see that hot friend of hers that came by?
Carl(40+M): Yeah of course. She's pretty hot. Hey, OP, she's 20, right?
Me: No, Jesus Christ she is younger than me, she's still a minor.
Ben: Damn she has curves for someone her age.
I was disgusted beyond belief. Their conversation continued although they knew she is a minor..
I said to them that they are disgusting pigs because she could be their daughter(ironically, they both have young children). As my 2 female coworkers were sitting at the bar today, Carl also sat down for a drink but he sat down on my seat(that's the only place where I as a waitress can sit).
Me: Sorry but you're in my seat.
Carl: Oh, so you want me to get up?
Me: It's okay, you can stay if u want.
Carl: You know, when I was your age I would rather never sit down than disrespect someone older than me like you just have.
Coworker: Kids today are sadly nothing like we used to be.
I didn't say anything to them but God was I pissed off. You disrespect my MINOR friend, talk about her curves even though she is young enough to be your daughter and after all that you want to be treated with respect?? I don't think I'm the asshole here but apparently my female coworker thinks so. So, redditors, AITA? ######

Response: NTA - you have to be respectful to earn respect. ######


Prompt:
My sister and I were paying the ALL utilities/food and giving my mom $300 towards the mortgage, and she was covering the rest. Summer 2018, we get evicted from our longtime home as she wasn't paying the mortgage. I took out two private school loans to get us a place to live during my last year of college. Basically I took out money for what would be room and board for Jr and Sr year. I used that money and put a large upfront payment on an townhouse for us to rent while I finished college.

College finished, I got a job making $73k/yr. During senior year of college I was able to save up a bit of cash, seeing as we are living on loans. I used that cash as downpayment/closing-costs and bought back our foreclosed home from the bank.

&#x200B;

Its going to be a year since we moved back in, and I am absolutely miserable. My sister and mother both lost their jobs. My sister has picked up job doing writing but it equates to like $12k/year. My mother is collecting widows social security, and a pension, its like $30k/year.

&#x200B;

I'm footing the entire mortgage and electricity bill. I am fucking miserable, and I can't stand living with them anymore. I'm fairly certain they're miserable too but I don't know how to fix it for them. I want sell the house separate from them financially, but there quality of life would suffer greatly. Maybe live in poverty areas, if not be completely homeless. WIBTA if I did this? ######

Response:
 NTA - you have given your family a lot, and it's okay to say it isn't working out.

Don't split the value of the house though, that is your money and investment. They have been living rent free for a while.

Good luck! ######


Prompt:
English isn’t my first tongue so bear with me people

And yes there is a post in r/advice speaking about my problem

I (18 f) am a food photographer (very amateur one but working on it). My family uses me way too much for free gigs which i am trying to stop.

One day i was going to ask my mom something about ordering some gear and she just interpreted me and said “(my name) i am very proud of you that you volunteered to your aunt to do a photoshoot for her to be born son”

I didn’t volunteer but mom was sure her sister didn’t lie so i was kinda forced to do it as a really care for mom’s feelings.

Fast forward the day after he was bored i was called by my cousin asking when i will shoot the baby
I was half asleep and i told her i had an exam and an online lecture (true)
She told me they are expecting me to come and i was like ok whatever

Today i had some good sleep and went to their house at the afternoon to see the baby and attend a small religious celebration (not christian) and when i first arrived with my camera and a small soft box

My cousin snapped at me telling me i am not using that strong light on her bro (girl i know my business)
And i was like yeah sure
And then i was told by the family that they don’t want me doing the photoshoot as they already did it(i was actually happy when informed because babies aren’t my forte) but they were pissed telling me I didn’t keep my promise to them and so on so on

After the celebration i went home to study my other exam(pray for me) and got my equipments and left

Well they didn’t call me the AH but i knew they think about me like that and i am quite sure I wasn’t an AH but i want your opinion people ######

Response: NTA - you have a special skill they don't have and they want to use you for it as much as possible to avoid paying for photographers who specialize in family/baby photos. Since they assumed you would do it, or you were signed up against your will, they're getting mad at someone else's words, someone else's promise for your work, when you didn't explicitly agree to it. ######