Prompt:
So background my parents split due to him having an affair when I was 8, now almost 28. We moved to east coast, dad stayed on west. My siblings and I never really had a relationship with him growing up, now we talk once every couple months. My brother had a baby last February and my dad and his wife came to visit in November. He stated he wanted to move here and build a relationship with us and his grandchildren. I was really excited as I don't have much family and I've always wanted our relationship mended. The plan was for him to move out alone and stay with my brother for 3 weeks while he got an apartment set up and then bring his family out. Well he called and stated he wants to bring his wife and step son with him from the get go and then he'd look for a job and place. My brother told him no he isn't okay with that because he has a kid and that'll be too stressful and too many people in his house. Well he told me last night that since I was so excited and wanted him here, my husband and I have to let them live with us. We're pregnant with our first and due in July. I said no way in hell was I moving 3 people in when I'm about to have a newborn. How is that fair? I was told I'm being unreasonable and my dad feels hurt that no one will take them in. If we weren't pregnant, I wouldn't have an issue with them temporarily staying.

Aita for not letting them live with me thus preventing them from moving here right now? ######

Response: NTA dad needs to realize just because you’re excited about STARTING a relationship with him doesn’t mean he gets to start out by LIVING with you. He needs to accept that you’re an adult with a family of your own that comes first. Just because this way is more convenient for him it wasn’t the original plan. He needs to accept that and earn his right to be in your life. Making demands and guilty tripping you isn’t the best way to go about building a relationship. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway

I am a 16 year old boy and I have a 17 year old half sister. My half sister thinks she is some kind of queen cause no one ever told her no. Anyway I am being bullied by my half sister for being asexual. She keeps saying shit like I bet you are asexual cause no one ever loves you. You are probably a sexual cause you are an incel. These are some of the more nicer comments. I had to deal with this for three years

While I was watching my tv show my half sister came in and started bullying asking why are you asexual. I then snapped at her and told her I am asexual cause I don't want to sense any love from people like you your face MADE me asexual cause of how ugly your face was. My mom came down and scolded me and told me to apologize to my half sister for making her feel bad about her self but I refused and I told my mom no I dealt years with her shit if she can dish it out she can probably deal with it.

I then told my half sister that I will only apologize after you admit that you bullied me for years. My mom knows this but refuses to acknowledges this. My half sister refused and told me she was always right and I was always right and I did not apologize. My half sister is crying in her room right now and swearing. ######

Response:
 NTA Could you have handled this situation better? -Yes.

Do I understand you 100%? - Also yes.

(Do I think she kinda deserved to hear these nasty things? - Also yes)

I mean you even offered to apologise under reasonable conditions. ######


Prompt:
I (18F) got into an accident and totaled my car. Keep in mind that I bought myself that car and paid for my own insurance. The accident was my fault but not entirely. I ran a stop sign that was covered by trees and hit a parked car to avoid hitting a moving one. The house owner at the corner said that I’m the fourth person to get into an accident because of the same stop sign in under 3 months. Thankfully, no one was hurt.

My insurance decided to buy off my totaled car for $2000. I gave the money to my parents to put away to get myself a new car. On top of that, I also gave them $3000 from my savings for my car (I give them my money to put away because I don’t trust myself to not spend it). My parents were livid that I got into an accident. Although nothing came out of their pockets other than my insurance rising that I pay for, they decided to punish me and use the money that my insurance gave me AND my savings to buy my brother (23M) an new car.

I told them that it was my money and that they had no right to do that. All they said was that if I hadn’t gotten into an accident, the car they bought for my brother would’ve been mine. Now my insurance is a lot more expensive than what it was before and they said that with a new car, it’s going to be more expensive. I said that it was my car that I bought and I was paying for insurance and that there was no need to punish me for something that didn’t affect them financially. They don’t care and gave the car to my brother anyway, saying this is what I get for not being careful when driving a car, I don’t get one at all.

AITA for getting upset? ######

Response: NTA contact the police that is theft and I believe if its 5k and up it counts a federal ceime. Maybe let your parents know you are going to the police station to report the theft of your 5k which is a federal crime ######


Prompt:
I’ll try to keep this short... my fiancé and I have been together for 5 years now. I knew very early in the relationship I had no intention of taking his last name. After the first year or so of dating when we talked about the future I mentioned I wouldn't want to take his last name because I like my last name. I’m second generation Italian and my last name reflects that. It’s an important aspect of who I am and my fiancé at the time understood. I said I probably would be fine if any kids we had had his last name and we dropped the conversation since it was so early in the relationship.

Fast forward four years we are obviously much closer to actually having kids then when we had that initial conversation. I mentioned today that I’m not sure I want the kids to just have his last name. I explained that it didn’t seem fair for them to be half genetically mine, and for me to carry them for nine months but for their names only to reflect him. I listed some options other people do, hyphenating the names, using one last name as a middle name, making a new combined last name, etc. To be clear this would only be for the kids I’m not asking him to change his name.

He said this wasn’t fair because he had already “compromised” by saying I could keep my name and that I told him the kids could have his last name so I can’t change my mind. I told him I’ve changed my mind as we have matured and the prospect of kids has become more real (which in my mind seems more fair then holding me to an off hand comment several years ago) but he is still extremely upset and not talking to me.

So reddit, AITA for not wanting to just use my fiancé’s last name for our kids? ######

Response: NTA Compromised by letting you keep your name? Ummmm wtf Is that? ######


Prompt:
So this happened yesterday.

My (14F) mother (43F) was mentioning report card and tests yesterday due to you-know-what.   She eventually decided to go through all our old report cards. Now would be a good time to mention that I have a brother who is 9 and we suspect is mildly autistic.

So we go through them and eventually my brother joins in looking through them. So I find some of mine and I say something like “oh my god I got such good exam scores.” And I showed my mom and my brother that I got three 10s on some years and how I never noticed.

My brother then find his and his scores are more around 5/6. And he gets upset and goes down to his room. My mom then pulls me aside and said “you shouldn’t try to be better than your brother and don’t me a show off.”

I told that I can talk about my achievements all I want. I’ve previously also had to not mention my individual class scores when I got top of my class.

She got pretty upset and grounded me but I’m allowed keep my phone because of you-know-what. ######

Response: NTA completely justified for being proud in yourself, hopefully you can keep the grades up :) just be mindful that not everyone likes being shown up. ######


Prompt:
A bit of context, my parents are divorced, but they always agreed what they do for one child, they do for the other.

My older sister got a private tutor and also had driving lessons for 2 yrs which my parents split the cost for between them, but my dad refused to do for me because he said that maintence should cover the cost. I ended up not being able to get a tutor, but my mum managed to pay for driving but at a huge financial cost.

While my sister has been at university, my dad has been giving her over £300 a month to help her. But he has told me he won't do the same for me because I was planning on working abroad and I had been told that if I worked abroad after graduating, I don't have to pay off student loans. I have found out since that I was told wrong and I will still have to pay it off and I emailed him telling him, but he never responded.

When he told me he wasn't going to help, I was upset and went up to my room. His girlfriend came up and told me that I was being a brat about it. She also told me that he was probably going to lose his job which was why he wasn't helping me. Which would be a valid reason, except this all happened a few months ago and he's still not lost it, and he would've lost it by now, especially with the current situation, if he was gonna lose it.

My mum emailed my dad after finding out his girlfriend called me a brat saying she didn't want me near her again which he didn't reply to, but she did calling me a liar, and I quote " if she (me) thinks the hat fits, she can wear it". My dad is still with her and it feels like he has chosen both her and my sister over me.

My relatives are telling me that I'm making a big deal out of nothing and it's not his fault that he upsets me because he has aspergers so he doesn't realise that he's upsetting me, but after everything went down, I emailed him specifically telling him why and how it hurt me. Are my relatives right and I'm being an asshole and should just let it go? ######

Response: NTA clearly your parents couldn’t keep to their word on what’s done for one will be done for the other. It’s normal to want to distance yourself especially after the way you’ve been treated and that won’t make you an asshole. ######


Prompt:
About 3 months ago I (24) began seeing a man (27) We are polar opposites (I'm a city girl, he's a country redneck). We've been sexually active the entire time.

About two weeks ago I started throwing up and feeling really weird. I took a test. It was positive. I haven't had an OB confirm it yet.

The issue he is very pro-life and I am very pro-choice.

Here is the other issue: this man is from a very small town, conservative Southern Baptist background. He doesn't really believe a lot of medical information. He says sunscreen will give him cancer and lets himself burn and uses weird home remedies to cure ailments.

He also told me he does not believe that you can get pregnant via the pullout method. He thinks as long as he pulls out, it's good. I've tried to explain that is incorrect but he won't listen to me.

This is an accident. I am on birth control (which failed obviously) but I am afraid he won't believe me if I tell him. I don't want to terminate, but I can't raise a child alone (grad student with too much debt) and he is in the military and leaving for 4 months in two weeks. I am also supposed to be beginning grad school in a new city in the spring. If he won't accept the child, I can't keep it. My mom was a single mom and I do not want to bring a child jnto the world that feels unloved or abandoned. He's also been talking to his ex and will be stationed two hours from her house.

Would I be the asshole for terminating without telling him or should I tell him I took the positive test and see how he reacts? Is he required to know even if he may not even believe it?

Tdlr; WIBTA for not telling my partner I'm pregnant and terminating on my own accord?

Edit: I'd like to clarify I have been with no one but him so this child is definitely his. In case it comes up ######

Response: NTA clearly this relationship wasn't going to go anywhere anyways and it would probably be a stressful environment growing up for the child. ######


Prompt:
I got a cousin i do not like even tho i am the only family he's got.
My mother is attached to him and reasonably so, and she decided to give him my netflix account to use.

Everytime during mid day i cannot use netflix because my brother uses it and cousin hogs it up mid day till night. I do not want to pay extra for four screens although i can perfectly afford that.

Last time this happened i disconnected all accounts and it stopped till now,  i have voiced this to my father and he gave cousin some excuse as to why netflix stopped working but my mother be it as she knows i don't like him, still gave him the account info.

WIBTA to cancel Netflix or in it's behalf, change passwords and only let me, my brother and my mother's TV have it without the credentials.

I really, really, don't like him. ######

Response: NTA Change your password. Simple fix and you won't have to cancel it. ######


Prompt:
I've lost my son 2 months ago, He was only 25,he was disabled, he had cerebral palsy since birth.

My husband and I loved him so much and gave him all the love and care he needed to make through the difficult times.

Since his death I have been getting a lot of "advice" on how to move on in life and pretend like my son didn't even exist.
Just like what they did when my husband passed away two years ago, my Brother in law (husband's brother) has always been a total asshole to me, one week before my husband died he told my husband to not worry about me cause I will marry again.
He told this while he was dying!
My husband was a great man, he was a donor, He cared for our son and always wanted for him to be happy.

When my son died, right after we got back from the funeral, my BIL, and his wife stayed at my house for a whole week

He said "why are you still so sad for your son? You should be happy for him, you should be happy for both of you, Him not having to deal with his disability anymore  and you being free, now you can go live your life without having to have to take care of a disabled person"
"It wasn't like he was gonna make it to 50 right?"

I felt just awful, I got so angry with him, I told him he was an asshole and told him to get out of my house, he started running his mouth again and said "I know you're just acting out cause you're grieving, but that does not excuse your shitty behavior towards me and my wife"

Before he left, I told him to hand me the spare key to my house that he STOLE from my husband before he died, he lifted it up then instead of giving to me, he tossed it in the trashpin.
His wife was laughing on her way out, And I just stood there feeling awful, I cried my eyes out that day, and wished my son was there to comfert me.

Now he's calling me to say that wants me to come over and help his wife decorate his son's birthday party. ######

Response: NTA change the locks. Copying a key is stupidly easy. ######


Prompt:
Hey everyone, here´s my dilemma.

I have a cat, he´s half a year old. I adopted him when he was around a month old. His original name was going to be "Howl", but I started calling him "Bastard" aound a month later after his adoption.

 I don´t hate my cat, he´s basically like a child to me. I call him that affectionetly, obiously. But my roomate (Who i´ll be calling Blue) dislikes my cat´s name. Whenever she hears me caling my cat for any reason (ie, "Bastard, come here" or whatever) she´ll tell me to use his original name because "callling animals insults is a mean spirited thing to do".

The thing is, he now only answers to "Bastard" and not "Howl". Blue has tried to teach him to answer to his original name, but he doesen´t care.

Also, I´m the one who feeds him, changes his l¡itter and buys his food. I´m his owner, so I feel like I should be allowed to choose his name.

So, am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA Cats don't care what you call them. I call my cat (who is my best buddy) Big Black Bag of Fat. ######


Prompt:
Hey everyone, here´s my dilemma.

I have a cat, he´s half a year old. I adopted him when he was around a month old. His original name was going to be "Howl", but I started calling him "Bastard" aound a month later after his adoption.

 I don´t hate my cat, he´s basically like a child to me. I call him that affectionetly, obiously. But my roomate (Who i´ll be calling Blue) dislikes my cat´s name. Whenever she hears me caling my cat for any reason (ie, "Bastard, come here" or whatever) she´ll tell me to use his original name because "callling animals insults is a mean spirited thing to do".

The thing is, he now only answers to "Bastard" and not "Howl". Blue has tried to teach him to answer to his original name, but he doesen´t care.

Also, I´m the one who feeds him, changes his l¡itter and buys his food. I´m his owner, so I feel like I should be allowed to choose his name.

So, am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA cats are bastards. I have 3, they are little shits but I love them ######


Prompt: So hear me(M37) out here on this issue with a family member. My wife and I have two kids who are 2 and under. This family member has the same thing but one of her kid has some health issues. Their little girl has a G-tube and some breathing problems that seems to be getting better. Every time my wife and I do stuff with our kids and wife posts it on social media, family member would comment with stuff like: " Imagine doing that with two kids and one with issues" or "Try getting out of the house in the morning with the oxygen tank, etc..." Or if we are together and kid is doing something that her other one can't she'll mention "Could we not have your kid do that so that mine won't want to do it?" I think the other day was the last straw because my wife posted a picture of our kids at my parent's house with their Grandma because we both had to work(no WFH option for us) and she made a post about how because her kid has health issues and can't see their grandparents (because of what's happening) so people shouldn't be posting things like that. It feels like she's using her kid's health problems to make backhanded comments or us feel bad about doing things. So Reddit, WIBTA if I call her out on that? ######

Response: NTA can't you just block her on social media? ######


Prompt:
So this is a throwaway because my sister is in here. Writing from a phone so excuse the shitty format.

So I(f18) recieved the first gift from my boyfriend this month. We're in a long distance relationship so I was all excited and stuff. He bought me a silver necklace, chocolates, and a dozen pairs of lovely and funny socks.
So me and my sister were discussing the gift and I tell her that we can't share this one. Keep in mind that we always share stuff and gifts and she's free to eat form the chocolate my boyfriend bought whenever she likes. But this gift is from my boyfriend to me and it's so special to me. She then throws a tantrum and calls me and my boyfriend names. She tells me I wish you'd both die. This is all because I told her she won't be wearing MY socks. Maybe she's traumatized or surprised from my response. Plus, she didn't get to date before so maybe she doesn't understand why I said what I said. But this doesn't give her the right to do all of this.

 I tried speaking with her but she acts like I betrayed her. I told her to put herself in my shoes but she won't give me an answer. So reddit, am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA can't believe she's acting like that at 18 ######


Prompt: My (16f) sister (22f) keeps taking my clothes and wearing them in front of my friends. This wouldn’t bother me if they weren’t BRAND NEW outfits. That makes it so that when I go to wear the clothes everyone thinks I’m wearing HER clothes. I ended up going to my parents for help because no matter how I react she will not stop raiding my wardrobe. She is constantly telling me all the things she does for me (rides to school, dance class etc.) but I do chores to scrounge together the money to buy decent clothes I like, she has a full time job, doesn’t pay rent and can go buy the clothes SHE wants. I don’t see why she should be entitled to my wardrobe especially when I do all my own shopping. Am I the asshole for involving our parents/ not letting her wear my clothes? ######

Response: NTA can you buy a lock and put it on your room/closet door? ######


Prompt: I am a 22f living at my parents home due to the state of the world. We live in a nice neighborhood out side of city limits. Each house sits on about three acres so there’s a fair amount of room between houses. Growing up the neighborhood was quiet with very few, if any, disagreements.  Within the last few years a new family moved in with teenagers and money to burn. They have several golf carts, 4wheelers, and motorized bikes the kids and friends like to race up and down the street. Last fall a kid fell off their golf cart and cracked his head open in our front yard. After that the racing stopped.  In the last few weeks it started again. Racing in the dark with out lights, reflective clothes, or even helmets. As the kids are a bit older they’ve added trucks to the mix with kids up and dancing in the bed of the trucks while it’s moving. I have talked to the mom about my concerns, and she said she tells them to stop when she sees it, but she also likes to be a mean girls “cool mom” and allows the kids to basically do whatever. As this is occurring more frequently (at least 3 nights in the last week) I am considering calling the police the next time it happens. I hate to waste the officers time, but I am worried that another kid will wind up severely injured, or worse.  If I call the cops, AITA? ######

Response: NTA call the cops they could kill someone. ######


Prompt:
Not mine, but my friends. "I have 2 adult kids. Both have graduated from college, but are currently living with me due to the situation and such. Neither have jobs since they both got laid off at the beginning of all of this. I'm happy to have them both back at the house, it was getting lonely since my husband passed not to long ago. I had saved up roughly 50k for each for college. My one kid, who we'll call J, and my other kid, who we'll call S, are twins. J got a scholarship that covered most of her school expenses, but I paid for rent, food, etc. I was super proud of her. S also went to college, though she didn't get a scholarship, which I was fine with. I was also super proud of her. I didn't want either of them to start out life with a bunch of student loans, so I was happy to pay for both of them since I could afford to do so. S also worked part-time to help pay.

Now that they are both out of jobs and living with me, J has started asking about the rest of her "rightly deserved money". She wants it, I don't know if its to save or spend, but she claims that its not her fault she got a scholarship and that I didn't have to pay as much for her as her sister. I was planning on either doing renovations, possibly moving (my house is kinda big now that its just me), or going on a vacation in a few months (depending how things go) with the money. Obviously, after they both move out and get new jobs. I told her this and she got super mad. She kept going on and on about how it was her money. S stepped in and said that she should be grateful for all the help I've given both of them. Now J is mad at me and S and J are fighting. Was I wrong for not giving her the money? Should I give her the money?

I'll also add that I've not asked either to pay rent, food, etc while they have been living with me. So, whatever money they had at the begging before their job loss, they should still have most of. ######

Response:
 NTA by any means.

A "college fund" is not a gift to the child him/herself. It's precautionary savings the parents set aside in the event it's needed to fund their child's tuition. If it's not needed, the child doesn't get it. The child is not entitled to it at all. They didn't earn it, they didn't make the sacrifice to save it. The parents did. It's a fund that parents setup as a favor should it be needed.

Don't give her the money. It's yours, not hers. Heck, even better, simply explain that you're gonna roll over that money into a "Wedding Fund". And if she never gets married, then again the money is still yours.  And if she does get married, write the checks to the actual vendors as the bills roll in, and not directly to her. Because it's obvious that she's just trying to grab the money. ######


Prompt:
This happened a few months ago and my brain keeps sending it back to me. I was traveling and I stopped at a rest stop that’s well known for having lots of bathroom stalls and they’re always very clean. There’s probably about 30 stalls in the women’s restroom, and usually not even a line because there’s so many stalls.

Anyways, I get to the restroom and this time, there’s a line. I patiently wait until I’m about 15 people from the front. Two workers come to the line and announce “there’s a lot of stalls open in the back” No one moves.

So the worker other worker says “you don’t need to wait in line, there’s a ton of open stalls”. Again, no one moves.

So I hop out of line, walk past those in front of me, and head to the back of the restroom. I see about 2/3 of all the stalls are empty.

On my way to the back of the restroom, this random woman grabs my arm and says I need to wait my turn. I say there’s plenty of stalls and there’s room for everyone. She starts pinching my arm and says there were people ahead of me and I need to get back in line. I was so surprised I just yanked my arm away, directed her to an empty stall, and then went in one myself.

By the time I came out, there was no line and the workers were much more aggressively directing incoming people to empty stalls.

Yes, I technically skipped 15 people in line, but they were being sheeple and mindlessly following. I don’t like to waste my own time. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA by a mile.

You WAITED to see if anybody in front of you would take the open stalls before you jumped in. If you were like, boxing people out or hurrying to cut them off, then I could see this random woman's point of view, I guess, but they literally could be doing the same thing as you. ######


Prompt:
My older sister (17f) goes out at around 9-11pm almost every night to go "get groceries" when, in reality, she just goes to buy herself multiple bags of clothes and snacks and brings back very limited groceries (like a gallon of milk or orange juice). She'll buy the clothes with her money about half the time and she uses my mom's card the other half. My mom definitely spoils her more than me and my twin sister.

Every time she gets home, she honks the horn over and over and over. She will do this for over 30 minutes until either me, my twin sister, or my parents come out to help her. She usually doesn't even have more than 4 bags so I don't understand why she always "needs" help.

She doesn't send a text or anything. She just honks the horn. My mom has told her numerous times to stop doing it because her and my twin sister have anxiety and the sudden honking can easily push them over the edge. It also wakes up people, like me, who like to go to bed earlier. I told my mom last time that I wasn't going to help her next time she did this. My mom was fine with this. I also told my older sister and she replied with "Yeah, ok then" and rolled her eyes.

Tonight at around 9:30pm, she arrived home from the store and started honking again. I was in the living room (not sleeping, just scrolling through reddit) when she scared the crap out of me by honking again. I followed through with what I said last time and didn't move. My parents and sister also decided to do the same thing, but they were on the other side of the house. I watched as she brought in three bags. Three. Bags. THREE. She literally brought them all in in one trip.

She is currently yelling at me for not getting up to help her since I had nothing else better to do. I'm a (wo)man of my word. COULD I have helped? Yeah. Did I want to? NOPE! So AITA? ######

Response: NTA buy an air horn and start using it to get her attention to see how she likes it. ######


Prompt:
My sister has been working overtime lately , and since my parents are elderly I have been watching my nephew (11).
Because she works long shifts, she has been dropping him off for two days at a time.

My sister is a really Type A personality, I’m not saying that to insult her or anything, it’s just how she is. She has my nephew’s days planned to a T, and even brings him with all of his breakfast, lunch, diners and snacks for the time he will be with me. I have told her that this isn’t necessary, but she does it anyway.

I want to be clear that I’m not trying to insult her, but the meals that she packs are pretty boring. Frozen sausage biscuits for breakfast, a turkey sandwich for lunch and a pasta dish for dinner.
My nephew is actually a very adventurous eater, and I love to cook, so he always asks me for some of what I’m eating instead of his own meal.

We have used this as an activity that we can do together. We have cooked all sorts of things from sushi to curry to tacos.

He is enjoying our meals so much that he has started to be a bit of a brat to his mother at home about her cooking. I think this has more to do with his age than anything, but my sister is blaming me. She says that I’m “spoiling” him, she’s angry at me for wasting her money, and thinks I’m turning her son against her. I think maybe she’s overworked and being ridiculous!

We have been arguing about this since Friday. She is demanding that I only feed him the food that she brings over, or she will not let me baby sit him. Then she gets mad and blames me for putting her in a “tight spot” because I’m not a reliable babysitter. Is this really such a big deal? Am I the asshole for not feeding him these prepared meals? ######

Response:
 NTA BUT...

>He is enjoying our meals so much that he has started to be a bit of a brat to his mother at home about her cooking.

You need to talk to your nephew about his behavior. If she's overworked, maybe there's a reason she can't be as "adventurous" with food as you can. He needs to understand that. I don't know what he says to your sister, but it must hurt to be overworked and then insulted by your child for not being able to work harder when it comes to food. ######


Prompt:
Background first. I am not an expert on genetics and health but in our family, we are capable of fasting for a very long period without getting sick. I can go up to 3 days drinking only water, eat a huge meal fit for 3 days, then fast for 3 days again without any side effects.

I normally stick to 2-3 meals a day but when there is a dinner event, like buffet, I would fast 2-3 days before and surprise everybody when I eat big amounts of food later(I am rather small 156cm and 51kg).

We were going to hold a small party in our dorm to celebrate the release of lockdown(Yes, it is legal to gather in my country now). We ordered lots of food, and I was going to fast again before the party.

Before the party, a dorm mate of mine asked how I could always eat so much without getting fat. I explained to her that I would simply eat nothing for 2-3 days and eat everything on the day of event. I did warn her that not to do that, not everyone could and it could be dangerous.

Turned out she only listened to the first part of the conversation, starved herself for 2 days and fainted right before the party. She hurt her hips and had to be absent resting in the campus nurse office during the party.

She was and is still angry at me for my "shitty suggestion", but I simply answered her question, I did not suggest for her to starve herself and even specifically told her not to. Her friends are also siding her and blaming me for making her starve and not even bother to give her an apology. I am not apologising for her stupid actions.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA but... That's not a healthy habit. I understand skipping a meal to build appetite - that would be intermittent fasting - but fasting 3 days? It's not genetics and you are not gifted, you have trained your body to do that. It's an eating disorder. Your friend fainted because her body wasn't used to it, not because she was born without a talent for fasting. Evidently it doesn't weigh on you as much as others, but it's unhealthy. Maybe consider picking up a workout routine and simply workout a little more (but within reason!) when you want to build up appetite or stay in shape - or just... Eat a normal amount of food at events. It's okay, you know. Take care.

Source: a recovered anorexic. ######


Prompt:
So, my family has traditions for certain significant birthdays (18,21,30, 50, 75, 90). My next birthday will be my 30th. I'm female. On the 30th my dad takes the kid who is 30, their spouse, and any children they have on a cruise. My sister and I have a somewhat volatile relationship and it gets bad at times, I recently blocked her for over a month and considered not talking to her again.

Onward, my husband and I are not very social people and I have difficulty getting noticed when sister is around. I'm not sure she hogs all the attention on purpose,but nonetheless she does. My brothers can be great or big problems. My sister brought many people on her cruise with her, I did not go. I couldn't afford to. I want to this cruise to be about me and my husband. My sister will make is about herself and her daughter (6y/o). To avoid conflicts,I decided it would be just us and parents, no siblings or extended family. I discussed it with Dad and Husband and we decided it was for the best.

My sister threw a fit. She took it as a personal attack against her! She accused me of purposely making her sad and allowing her to participate in my birthday. She yelled screamed and cried about how mean I was being and how much she'd been looking forward to it. She basically threw a temper tantrum (she does this every few weeks, she's 32). The rest of the family understands,  most weren't coming anyway.  When I told her Mr reasoning she told me I need to change and be more outgoing so she could come and. threatened. to get to get details from my dad and book herself and her family anyway (Dad know not to tell her details)

 I don't want to upset but this is my 30th birthday and my husband too since he is only a month and a half older than me.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA but your sister is and still found someway to make it about her. ######


Prompt:
33F, married, financially stable and happy with a couple cats and a senior dog

My mother (67 F) is a cancer survivor and was recently diagnosed with another, more aggressive form of tumor. Considering her history with treatment, the prognosis isn't good.

She and I aren't close. She has untreated mental health issues (I suspect BPD) that made my life hell growing up, and even in my adult years she's often tried to control my life to make it more like hers. One thing we've always disagreed on is the topic of babies. My mother *loves* babies (but not children, who have opinions) and has desperately wanted to be a grandmother from the moment she found out she was having a daughter. Unfortunately for her, I'm childfree. I like kids. I even work with babies, and I'm good with them. But I've never wanted one, and I'm an only child.

I called her after the diagnosis came in to check on her, and - in tears - she declared that now is the time that I *have* to give her a grandbaby. The doctor is giving her about a year to live, perfect timing if I get pregnant now apparently. She says this is the only thing that would make her feel better about dying.

As usual, I said no. I don't want a kid. My spouse doesn't want a kid. That's it.

Now, several of my mother's friends, who in the past had supported my decision, are calling me up to say I'm TA for refusing her dying wish. They're pointing out that my spouse and I could afford a child (true) and that we already have more space in our home than we need (sort of true), and therefore the only thing that's stopping me from popping out an infant in 9 months is, in their opinion, that I'm a horrible selfish child.

To be clear, I'm not going to change my mind. A lot of factors have gone into my decision not to have babies, and a few old people calling me a self-absorbed bitch won't change that, but I'll admit that perhaps I am, in fact, a self-absorbed bitch.

What say you, reddit? ######

Response: NTA but your mother and her friends sure are. You should never have a child because someone else wants you to. I’m sorry your mother is ill but to demand you have a child so she can be a grandmother is an incredibly selfish thing to do. You do you. Don’t have kids or do based on what you and your partner want, everyone else can shove their opinion right up their arse. ######


Prompt:
Hi. So.

My full name is Elizabeth. I have gone by Elizabeth since I was very small. Of course, throughout the course of my life, people have wanted to shorten it. I have no issue with most nicknames so it doesnt bother me, though I do prefer the full version.

There is one nickname that bothers me, though, and that nickname is Liz.

I HATE that nickname. I'm okay with Lizzy, Ellie, Eliza, Lily, Tess, Libby, any of the million and one nicknames that go with Elizabeth, but I cant STAND LIZ. The reason why is a whole other story.

And everyone, of course, calls me Liz and refuses to stop. Even one of my best friends calls me Liz. I've asked her multiple times to quit, both politely and less politely. She just does it out of habit at this point.

Some of my coworkers recently caught wind of the fact that I hate being called Liz. So of course, the freaking nickname is all they refer to me as. They think its funny.

I know it's just teasing and maybe I'm getting a little too upset, but this is a lifelong annoyance. It's not that hard to use literally any other nickname except for Liz. It's not that hard to just use the full version. I dont feel like I'm asking that much.

I've tried to laugh it off and politely correct them but it never changes. Some people have told me to just ignore them until they call me by my name but I feel like that's really rude and besides this, we are on good terms.

So now I turn to strangers on the Internet. WIBTA if I ignored my coworkers calling me until they call me literally anything other than Liz? ######

Response: NTA but you’ve told them your name.  Silence till they use it.  Call people by their name; don’t arbitrarily change someone’s name without their consent. ######


Prompt:
My (f17) sister and her (m37) husband are currently staying with us, My sister and I get along very well, But her husband is a jerk, he's a sarcastic asshole who doesn't care about other people's feelings, This is one of the many reasons why I don't like him so much.

So last night BIL was laying on the couch watching CNN, While I was scrolling through reddit and having a bit of fun, My sister shouted from the kitchen when she was done with the dishes and told my BIL to take the trash out, He turned to me and said:

BIL: (my name) go take the trash out.
Me: But she TOLD you to take the trash out!
BIL: Yes, I'm not deaf, I heard what she just said, But I'm TELLING YOU NOW to take the trash out, I suppose you're not deaf either, are ya?

I tried to keep my cool and ignore him.

Me: I'm sorry, I thought that this is a man's job!.

BIL: You're a girl??? (Sarcastically)

When he said that I knew he was making fun of my new pixie haircut that I did at home cause I couldn't go to the salon and wanted to try something new.

Me: Are you still making fun of my haircut?.

BIL: Will you do it if I said no?

Me: Unbelieveble!

I get off the couch, took the trash from under the kitchen sink and head out.

On my out, BIL suggested that I dress up and take a selfie of myself next to the trashpin and post it on facebook, you guys have no idea how humiliated that made me feel, I don't care if it's a social media trend, he just humiliated me, he once asked for my opinion on a political matter than he made fun of me, and called me a liberal dum dum, made fun of my new phone case, and criticized my cooking which is the reason why I don't cook anymore.
I told my sister and she said i was just overreacting and that she'll get him to take the trash out next time. ######

Response:
 NTA but you’re giving way too much of your energy to this guy.  He’s a jerk, and you know he’s a jerk.
Telling him, “Don’t take your insecurities about being a 37 year old curmudgeon living at his wife’s parents place out on me.” Just give it back to this guy.  He’ll shut up. ######


Prompt:
I (45F) left my husband (40m) a few days ago, took my kids and went to a hotel. I was hoping to work things out but needed some time to think. We had a big fight but what it comes down to is that he doesn’t feel like I am a good mother since I got cancer. I don’t do enough around the house after being sick and having surgery and chemo. I will admit it has been hard and it’s been a long road to recovery. I started back to work 8 months ago but I still take care of my children when they aren’t at school. He has done the bulk of the housework and I appreciate everything he’s done but I’m just so tired of him telling me that I’m not a good mom, and “not even a parent”. I just had to get out of there. I just can’t accept how cruel his is to me anymore. So I gathered the kids things and left.
One of the things I took was my husbands iPad so that my son can do his schoolwork. I didn’t realize I could also see his messages until a notification came up while we were doing school. He was talking to my cousin (29m) who has lived with us for almost a decade. He was saying that he wished I had died from
cancer. He said fact that I lived is the worst thing to ever happen to him. My cousin just said, “yea, I hear ya bro” and things like that. They had a long conversation and the opinion that I should have died was stated four times. Not once did my cousin, who I helped raise, defend me.
I have not returned home because of what I saw. My husband wants to work things out, but even if I do, I don’t want my cousin in my home anymore. I am so hurt that my so called family would not defend me and would just agree that I should have died. My husband has rage issues that he needs to address and I won’t be going anywhere near him until he does, but aita to say I never want to see my cousin again either? ######

Response: Nta but you're completely ignoring YOUR HUSBAND SAID IT TOO... you're holding your cousin to s higher moral standard then your own husband...they both gotta go, save the messages for future court proceedings ######


Prompt:
This will be a short one because there isn’t really much story to it

I currently live with my four siblings (2 M and 2 F) and my bio parents. Now, I really like to make a nice coconut soup that I sip on in my free time, which tastes really delicious. I make a new pot about every 2-3 days because that’s how long it takes for me to finish it, and I put the leftovers in a mason jar and throw it in the refrigerator when I’m not eating. However, for the past few weeks I’ve been noticing that sometimes in the morning, the contents of the jar completely disappears which forces me to make a new one. Someone’s definitely been eating my soup. I confronted my family but they all denied it. I tell them that it takes a long time to make the soup and it’s not cool, but they still deny it. I’d be happy to give them some if they asked, but no one’s coming forward. I remember reading a thread once on Reddit about someone catching who was stealing their lunch by putting habeneros in it so I think it would be funny to do the same. I was a bit of a spice enthusiast a few years ago and during that period I bought myself a few ghost peppers, and am contemplating putting those in my soup to catch whoever’s stealing it. I feel like this might be a little overboard. WIBTA?

Tl;dr WIBTA for putting ghost peppers in my soup to catch whoever is stealing it? ######

Response: NTA but you'll need to do an update!! ######


Prompt:
Restaurants opened up here recently for dine-in.  My husband has 2 autoimmune diseases and is a disabled veteran.  My mother is 69 and Diabetic and lives with us.  I am diabetic and having surgery in 10 days.

My daughter (26) mentioned she was going to eat with friends tonight.  I asked if she was going to a restaurant and she said yes.  Given the above, and the current health crisis, I told her to please not go to a restaurant.  She slammed away from the table, slammed her chair into the table and stormed out.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA but you should work on a long term plan for how this is going to work. You can't tell another adult what to do, even if she is doing something risky. I feel like she will just do it anyway. She might need to stay with friends or somewhere else. ######


Prompt:
I’m a 21 year old student living at home. My parents have never really had a good relationship, but it all came to a head when my youngest brother was born. My dad started having an affair with a family friend who eventually got pregnant and now I have a half brother. His mom as well as her family completely abandoned him and now he’s being raised by my parents.

The last child that my parents had together was me when they were already in their late 50’s and they’re not doing so hot now in their 70’s. I decided to stay home and help take care of my little brother because I felt at the time that it was the right thing to do. During a conversation one night, my mom complimented me on my willingness to step up and help her with such a weird situation and hoped I’d continue to be there for my brother after they’re gone. Their health isn’t great because they smoke and drink pretty heavily and they aren’t able to interact with him like they were with me so they rely on me quite a bit to change, feed, clothe, and play with him.

With what’s going on in the world, I’ve been able to take a bit more of a break and focus my energy on my brother but when I go back to school full-time I won’t be able to and honestly I don’t really want to. I love my brother regardless of the circumstances, but I genuinely have no desire to put my life on hold to raise him if it comes to that. I’m starting to regret my decision because I feel like a parent when I never asked to be one. ######

Response: NTA but you should make that clear now before something happens to them. They need to make other arrangements. ######


Prompt:
Me and my mom have an okay relationship. My adopted sister 15 is a horrible person and is just terrible to be around. I tried to consider her family at one point tried to involve her in activities with my friends I am a 16 year old boy. I tried to do things that a brother normally would or what I thought would be a brother and sister relationship.

My half sister today took my game console without my permission and snapped it into two. This handheld console is a game console I got from my grandma as a birthday gift. I screamed loudly and yelled at her to go away. She called me a sexist whore for not sharing the console. My mom came in and sided with my sister.

Told me to apologize for being sexist and mean to my adopted sister for not sharing and not taking her places like a brother. I yelled at my mom telling my sister she is not considered part of my family and that she is just a piece of shit lying on the ground.

My mom told me I am grounded for being mean. I then called my dad to pick me up.(They are divorced). I went to dads house. My mom harasser me by calling a lot and I refused to pick her up and blocked her on the phone. I might have been an asshole for saying mean things to my sister and yelling at my mom. ######

Response: NTA but you should definitely see if you can live at your dads permanently to get away from that toxicity ######


Prompt:
So back story, 6 or 7 years again my mom and dad were married. Some friends came over and my mom was all over this guy, and my dad noticed and said something about it. Then she left with him, and monday served my dad with divorce papers. Reason 1 why I dont like him, he should have said no.

Fast forward some, I'm in the military and I get a few calls from my mom, and she tells me that he has laid his hands on her, but dont do anything about it or say anything, this continues until I get home. I get another call, and I'm over there in a flash. Him and I got in a fist fight. But he hasnt laid his hands on my mom again, or at least what I know of. I love my mom, but she has said she only deals with him because his money, she a gold digger.

And that's only part of the reason of why I cant stand him. But now I'm about to be getting married, I have made it very clear that I dont like d-bag and dont want him there, or if he is there, he wont be in the family section. Well for some reason this set something off with my mom, and she went from talking shit on him constantly, to flipping and saying "I HAVE to respect him because he is my stepfather." I told her "he is your husband, that is it, he is nothing to me". Now my mom is mad at me for my decision.

Reddit AMTA? ######

Response: NTA but you should be angry at your mom for her decisions not just the other guy. ######


Prompt:
About ten years back, I(32f) inherited  my grandpa’s farm. About 8 years ago my mom got sick, so I moved into my inherited house to be closer to her. I got a great job locally, and I’ve lived here ever since. In my free time, I rescue animals and take them in. On my land I have, two cows, one horse, one donkey, a flock of chickens, pigs, cats, and dogs.

I have a VERY demanding job, so sometimes I don’t always have the time to feed them. Obviously I can’t let them starve, so I hire assistants to help with them. It’s a physically demanding job, and not everyone can do it.

I live near a college town, so a lot of kids come to interview. Most of them think it’s easy cash, just feeding animals and such, but they have to carry that food across to the paddocks everyday. I have a couple requirements for the job. Like no allergies, you’ve got to be strong, fast, and good with animals.

So the other day, I got these two kids come in. A girl and boy. The girl was very nice, but she was short and petite. Not the type I was looking for to haul hay across my farm. The boy however, was huge. I asked both of them to try and pick up one of my pigs. Boy could do it, girl could not.

I hired the boy but not the girl. Next thing I know she’s screaming at me about how I’m sexist and that the only reason I didn’t hire her was because she’s a girl. Truth is, I don’t hire many girls. I don’t usually get any that come in. I do have one of my staff though.

I told her that she just didn’t fit the requirements and she started crying and left. I know she wasn’t a good fit, but she just seemed so upset.

AITA?

(If he couldn’t lift it, and she could, i would hire her instead. And yes they will need to be able to pick up the pigs. Or at least drag their stubborn asses into their pen) ######

Response:
 NTA but you really should put on you add that the job requires to be able to carry a certain weight and walking at least x distance daily. There are a lot of women that are good at farm work so sex shouldnt be a requirement, but if you need some physical atributtes you should be forward about it.

Edit: Ok, you are right I should have use the word gender instead of sex. English is not my first language and that is why I made the mistake. ######


Prompt: I share a house with 4 people, we are all in college. I before we moved in, I bought a new receiver so I could listen to my music through these larger speakers I had recently acquired. The receiver has Bluetooth capability so naturally we all connect to listen to music, which I had no problem with, all I asked is that after they disconnect after they use it so if I want to use it and they’re not, it will connect to my phone, they never do, ever. Yesterday I finally hit a breaking point and told them to disconnect to the Bluetooth because i am never able to connect because one of their phones always is. They start banning me from all their stuff and eventually I just leave because I was so mad. ######

Response: NTA but you probably could've been more tactful about it ######


Prompt:
So I feel terrible and guilty but I also feel like I have no choice. Looking for advice and unbiased judgment.

I have a younger sister (26) who’s disabled. I won’t get into it but she’s unable to work a full time job and is on disability, which isn’t much. She’s been living with me for ~3 years. I pay for nearly everything including groceries but she chips in for utilities or takeout once in a while.

Last year she started dating a guy and got very serious very quickly. He’s underemployed with social anxiety and lives off of a little money his parents send him each month. He also moved in with us a few months back. I live in a larger house so didn’t mind 2 more people at the time.

Two weeks ago my sister told me she was pregnant. I was shocked. She said she’s around 1.5 months along and they’re excited to be parents. I didn’t know how to react and sat on it for a few days before approaching both of them and saying that I can’t have them raising a baby in my home.

I basically support both of them at this stage, letting them use their own money (again, not much) for leisure things like movies or video games. I asked them how they plan on paying for a baby and they didn’t think it was a big deal. I imagine if the baby comes I’ll probably end up paying for all 3 of them.

In the end I told both of them that they can stay with me until the baby comes, but I don’t want a baby in my home and the huge amount of responsibility that will probably fall to me. My sister cried and her bf accused me of being two faced, because they have nowhere else to go. I offered to help them pay rent for the first few months and budget for them but they’re resistant. My sister is now saying I’m essentially forcing them to give up their baby by kicking them out. I feel bad but I feel like if this keeps going I’ll be supporting an entire family on my own for who knows how long. AITA? ######

Response: NTA but you need to revise the move-out date up a few months because if they are still there when the baby arrives you will have a much harder time forcing them to leave. She should be about 2 months along now; I would tell them they have until she is 6 months and then they can move on their own or you will start a formal eviction process. That gives them four months to figure something else out and also for the quarantine to lift. Do NOT back down on this - they're only excited to be parents because they've never had to actually be responsible adults themselves; it isn't your burden to have to cater to two grown ass adults, esp when they're selfish enough to throw a baby on you that you don't want or need. ######


Prompt:
My friend has had a crush on me for years now and knows that I do not reciprocate the feelings and nothing will ever happen between us.
I generally feel uneasy and uncomfortable with people saving my pictures on their phone as I find it really creepy.
A few months ago I found out he did that and even put my picture as his phone wallpaper and even whatsapp wallpaper. We got into a huge fight and he agreed to delete them off his phone and change the wallpaper. Now I found out he has my picture as a “home” wallpaper not the lock screen one. When I got mad about it he got defensive and said its just the lock screen so no one will see it. I know this seems really silly and stupid but from my pov we agreed on this topic awhile ago and its such a boundary issue.
Am i overreacting? Aita? ######

Response: NTA but you need to recognize this friendship is unhealthy and end it ######


Prompt:
I have a coworker who is not pregnant and is always gloating about how physically fit she is. However ever since she started 2 years ago has been parking in the expecting mothers parking spots. One time taking the last space from me while I was pregnant and on a walking distance restriction. Today after I parked in the normal spots (my baby is 4 months now yay!) I saw her park in the spots again and it made me irrationally angry. Would I be the asshole if I called her out and asked her "so, how many years pregnant are you?"

She has NO restrictions and HR has done nothing about it and has been told by multiple people. ######

Response: NTA but you might get in trouble with HR for that. You should probably consider another approach. ######


Prompt:
Not long because the title says it all.

I fell pregnant earlier this year by my boyfriend and since we're both 23 and not stable enough, I told him I was planning to abort. He said he didn't support that decision but it wasn't his choice so he'll just go with it. I had the procedure and we continued dating but now I've heard from a mutual friend that he tells them and his family that I murdered his firstborn or some bullshit like that. I shouted at him about it and admittedly did post some stuff for him on fb(without his name). He apologized and said he won't do it again but now his sister is attacking me for being an asshole to him. aita? ######

Response: NTA but you mean ex boyfriend right? ######


Prompt:
The story so far- I (F20) am living with my dad for the summer in my hometown. I didn’t have to live with him- I could’ve stayed with a friend in my college town, but he asked me to move home, and I agreed because he’s a single dad and I wanted to help around the house as well as bond with my siblings. I don’t pay rent or utilities, but I am completely financially independent of him and pay for my car/insurance, phone, groceries, etc. I was in a rough spot financially due to COVID but recently received backpay for the 15 weeks I was unemployed and it amounted to about $9500. When my dad found out, he was happy for me. Then he told me he wanted to charge me $600 in rent for July and August. I think this is unfair because I think housing agreements should be made before someone moves in and it just feels like my dad is trying to take advantage of me. I tried to explain this to says that it’s the least I can do for him.

tl;dr AITA for not wanting to pay my dad rent? ######

Response:
 NTA but you gotta get that in writing. Tell him if he wants to charge you rent then you'll have to move into a tenant/landlord arrangement, and that means dropping everything you do for him, or working out (in writing) which chores contribute toward rent. July is Way too soon to start springing rent on you, morally. And the fact that you don't have a predictable income also makes him TA, morally. Legally I have no idea.

He's probably within his rights to ask for rent, but he's fundamentally changing the relationship between you and you're moving into something that needs documentation and budgeting. ######


Prompt:
AITA

Two years ago some friends (a couple) approached me and asked me if I would be willing to clean their apt in exchange for a headshot session.  The husband was a photographer, I’d seen his work, I was fine with this agreement.  I spent about 20hrs cleaning their apt (I have videos of progress using my steam cleaner, before and after pics, etc.). They moved away, but the husband promised he’d be back at least once a month for other photography gigs, so our headshot session “would get done.”  He never came back.  They moved out of state.  I reached out several times asking to come to an agreement on a $ amount instead.  I was ignored.  Now, they got divorced and don’t speak to one another.  The wife is now telling me she had nothing to do with it and I should have said something sooner.  Am I the asshole here?! I’m pretty sure they are!  And I’d freaking sue if I had their new addresses.  But seriously, is it possible I’m the asshole?!? ######

Response: NTA but you got scammed ######


Prompt:
Our whole relationship is great except for our bedroom situation. We haven’t been intimate in several months and I don’t really show off my body to him anymore.

All of my pajama clothes were in the wash and they weren’t fully dry and I had literally nothing else to wear other than stuff that’s not comfortable to sleep in. I also don’t want to sleep in thick pajama pants because it’s 95 degrees outside.

I figured screw it why not sleep naked just for tonight. I got into bed and he got all weird. Asking me why I wasn’t wearing clothes, which I explained why and he said surely I could find something to wear. I said yes I have other clothes but I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in those clothes. I told him I didn’t see the big deal and it was just for a night, we used to sleep naked all the time.

He got really bugged and said it was weird and it made him uncomfortable. I got up and went to sleep on the couch. AITA? ######

Response: NTA but you got bigger problems than no clean sleep clothes. ######


Prompt:
My mom (55F) has been slowly starting to pry at me (25F) about when I’m planning on having kids, how many, and if I plan on marrying my on and off again boyfriend. It’s annoying but I just ignore her or tell her to drop it most days. I’m not even done with college, I don’t feel like I’m even old enough for that. Ive never been interested in kids or marriage either and she knows this!!

For context, my older brother has two kids with his girlfriend. So now she’s looking at me the middle child for her next grand baby. She’s even gone so far as calling me by my boyfriends last name, knowing full well I don’t believe in that and do not plan on ever changing my name.

It came to a head last week when I was visiting. Everything was normal and then she just says “so when do you plan on settling down. You aren’t getting any younger.” And I LOST it. I just screamed “mind your own god damn business.” My dad yelled at me, I yelled at him, then my older brother yelled at me. It was a mess.

My friend picked me up and when I told her what happened she said I was the asshole for yelling at my mom when she’s asking normal “mom things.” Both my brothers think I was an asshole but my boyfriend doesn’t. My mom hasn’t called or texted since this happened. ######

Response:
 NTA but yelling at her isn't the way to go about it.

My advice would be to let her know that you love her, etc but make it clear that when you two speak you will not even entertain that subject. Like, not. at. all. And then make good on that if she pushes. When she says "So, when do you plan on settling down." you get up, grab your keys and you leave. Don't be mean about it, but just don't entertain the conversation. If she gets mad or asks why you're leaving you say "You broke the rules. I'd love to come back if you can follow them." ######


Prompt:
My friend (23F), who we’ll call S, and I (21F) both lost our jobs at the same company due to COVID-19. Since we both graduated last December, we were thinking of applying to grad school because the job market stinks right now. We both really like this one super competitive program and want to apply, but S wants me to wait to apply until the next round of applications because she thinks if we apply in the same round that I’ll get accepted over her.

To be clear, the applications opened Sep. 1st of last year and this is already the third deadline (May 1st). After that, it’s rolling acceptance based on open spots. This is a program I had looked at for months during my last semester in college but ultimately didn’t apply to since I got my dream job offer.

She thinks she has ‘dibs’ because she went to college in the same state as this program and knows a lot of professors there. I think if she already knows people there and I don’t that she has an edge over me anyway so I need to apply as soon as possible to be competitive since they’ve already accepted students in earlier application rounds. She also told me that they are waiving GRE/GMAT scores because of the virus and when I asked her to forward that information to me she said she ‘didn’t want me to have that information because then I would apply straight away’.

I don’t want to lose my friendship with her over this but I also don’t want to miss the opportunity to be eligible for this graduate program. So, AITA?

(Posting on mobile, sorry if the formatting is bad) ######

Response: NTA but with friends like these, who needs enemies? ######


Prompt:
The weather's finally starting to get good again and I'm bored out of my freaking mind stuck at home. At the very least I've figured I can get a quick tan on and enjoy the sun. We're lucky to have a backyard and a small jacuzzi, and I've taken full advantage of both aspects in the last few days. I hate tan lines, and so does my husband, so I happen to spend time in various states of undress when I'm getting my sun on.

When chatting with the neighborhood moms, I happened to say I loved that I could sunbathe outside now with a drink and I've got a perfectly good excuse to do it, which is fresh air and getting out of the house. A luxury in these times, I know.

Almost immediately I got a snide remark from one of them suggesting that I hopefully have enough sense to do it "with decency" because all the neighborhood kids are now indoors and my backyard might not be as private as I think. Like wtf! She even had the gall to suggest I was setting a bad example for my teenage daughter. Like yikes.

I'm this close to sending out a blast on the group passive aggressively suggesting that people mind their own business during these trying times.

AITA here or is my anger justified? ######

Response: NTA but with caution. You are in every right to do what you want in your own backyard as long as the people who live with you are okay with it and you have a fence. However, I would caution against sending out a "blast on the group passive-aggressively suggesting that people mind their own business during these trying times" that will only make people angrier and will make their outrage more justified, undermining your own argument. ######


Prompt: My dad is a lower IQ boomer who is a die hard trump supporter and he never shuts the fuck up about how every race other than Italian-American is garbage. All my life, that’s all I’ve heard. I don’t believe that shit at all, that racial BS is garbage and I always call him out on it. After my mom passed, i decided to spend more time with him, I don’t want him to be alone and miserable in his last days. Today I went shopping at the market with him, I ask the deli man (of Haitian descent) for a 20 piece wing, half spicy (my dad hates any type of seasoning) and one extra spicy (for me). He kept telling me to grab the wings on the side in the case, which are all spicy. I tried explaining to the deli dude I don’t want ALL spicy wings, but he kept telling me he won’t serve me, and that I have to grab the all spicy wings that are in the case. I told the dude “forget it bro, I’ll just go to Popeyes”; my dad yells from the back “you dumb Haitian!”. I told my dad “yo, you can’t say that in public man”. He yells out “WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO?! ARREST ME?”. I don’t wanna be seen next to someone saying that shit. It’s humiliating, especially when everyone is staring like I’m a giant tub of white trash mayonnaise, just because I’m with him. I left him right there, got a ride to my place, and haven’t spoken to him since. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA but why say racial? Let's be honest, its straight up racist. ######


Prompt:
Yeah, I'm serious. Over the course of the last few months(ever since covid) I've been at home mainly, I decided that I wanted to make the best of the situation and try to improve my Heath, I had always been a bit concious of my body image. By doing some workouts and eating healthier, and drinking a lot of water, I have lost some weight(about 15lbs) and feel better overall.

 Well, whenever is go to the fridge to get water, my(18) dad(50) would kind of give me a dirty look, a few times when I forgot to fill the pitcher and he got on me about it. I made sure that didn't happen again and that there was always water there.

Then, a few weeks ago, my mom came to me and told me that he was complaining that I was drinking too much water and that he noticed an increase in our bill. I laughed and thought she was messing with me but she was dead serious. I couldn't believe he made a deal over me DRINKING WATER. My whole life he's always been on me about little shit that I did despite being overall a pretty good kid, (far improved from the stories I heard about him when he was my age) but I couldn't believe this. I never confronted him about it because even he knew it was ridiculous not coming to me about it. I'm pretty sure I'm not TA here, what do you guys think? ######

Response: NTA but what the fuck? Of course the water bill has gone up your home more often due to covid so logically you will use more water not because little Timmy is drinking 4 gallons more than usual. *smashes head into keyboard* ######


Prompt:
The title of this is a good tldr, but here’s more background information;

My husband and I have been married for five years. After we had our daughter I got pretty severe postpartum depression. I wasn’t myself for about a year and my marriage slowly fell apart. Everything came to ahead when I found out my husband was having an affair (around 4 months) with another woman.

We worked through it. We went to counseling, I got help with my depression, and things eventually sorted themselves out and went back to normal. The affair was a little over a year ago.

One evening a few months ago, I started to think about this woman. I knew her name, so I looked her up on Facebook. I saw that she made art, and looked at her Instagram. Her artwork is beautiful. I found myself checking her Instagram frequently just to look at it. There was one piece that she made around the time of her affair with my husband that really stuck out to me, and I admit I became a bit obsessed with it.

I eventually messaged her, telling her who I was and the situation, and asked her if it was for sale. She gave it to me. She sent it in the mail, she when it came to me I had it framed. I hung it up in our living room last night.

When my husband saw it, he immediately recognized it. He got angry, and asked me why I would hang it up. I told him that I loved it, and I couldn’t explain why. I told him about how I had spoken to her, and he got even more upset. He demanded that I the picture down. When I asked him why, he told me I was throwing the affair in his face. I tried to explain that it was not my reasoning, but he wouldn’t listen. He is threatening to leave if I don’t take the picture down, and I think it’s an exteeeme reaction. Am I being an asshole here and deserving of this response? ######

Response: NTA but weird as hell. There are some levels here a psychoanalyst would love to unpack. ######


Prompt:
Context: I am the youngest of six kids, the one I’m closest to in age is 8 years older than me.

All of my siblings are adults. I recently noticed how often they are praised for things, and have tried to succeed at said things only to get no praise due to the fact I’m normally not in the spotlight so it’s ignored. I went back on my last AITA post and reading one of my comments realized the very different treatment I get.

If I got awards of trophies, instead of going in the case with all my siblings stuff I would have to Put it in my room. Instead of attending my plays or tournaments they would drop me off and go do something else unlike with my siblings where we all would go and watch them. I’m normally separated from conversation and ignored if I try to join in at dinners. I’m not invited to most outings and left at home. Only recently did I get to join in on stuff but it was only because they wanted to test my boundaries without my permission which only made me upset that it wasn’t actually to hang out with me. It mainly got to me after my nephew’s birthday party last weekend, we showed up early to help get things ready. I helped out but once the party started I tried to chat with everyone and was kind of pushed aside, I specifically helped with cooking. My eldest sister got the credit and when I tried to point out I helped a little I got shushed. I think they don’t realize how hurtful it is and how much the older kids are being adored in comparison, and I want to point it out but feel it will be brushed off as me seeking attention.

WIBTA if I pointed it out? ######

Response: NTA but they’re going to make you feel like you are. ######


Prompt:
For the past few years, my mom has (she may think "discreetly") fat-shamed my sister. Every time my mother says something to my sister, it is obvious that my sister is visibly hurt; I sometimes even hear her cry in her room. She opened up to me and told me that she struggles with binging and restricting and hates it when our mother says anything about her body. Similarly, my mom body-shames me for not being as skinny as my figure-skating club friends (I figure skate competitively) and having too much muscle and fat in my thighs. To be clear, my mother is fatter that both my sister and me.

My mom is not a rational being. So, (this may sound immature), I fat-shame my mother. I thought at first that this would stop her from fat-shaming both my sister and me, if she knew what it feels like. But in fact, the more I fat-shamed my mother, the worse it became for me and my sister. But even if I stop fat-shaming my mother, she continues body-shaming anyhow. I've found a middle ground of fat-shaming my mother only every two times she body-shames me and my sister, but body-shaming isn't a fun thing to do and I feel sort of bad.

\*\*Also, I've tried the route of trying to have a serious talk with my mother. She won't listen. All she says is "fat is shame" and "I don't want you guys to turn out like me." ######

Response: NTA But they may be better ways to show her how hurt you are and how stupid her tactics ######


Prompt:
I have a friend who i found out some time ago to be an anti-vaxxer and unvaccinated, believing that vaccination causes autism and that they dont want "chemicals" in her future kids. Ive tried over multiple occasions to tell them that these beliefs are not true when the subject is brought up by them, but they never listen or believe what i say.

&#x200B;

Some of the things about this that annoyed me at the beginning was her refusal to get shots for her overseas travels and she gets sick at the drop of a hat. Whenever i see her she always says shes just coming off a cold or flu, which annoys me because she doesnt stop to consider myself catching a cold from her or anyone else when were out. She is constantly sick in some way or form.

&#x200B;

But some of the more recent concerns i have had was her declaration that she wanted kids in the future (she is still single and young) and for them to be un-vaccinated for the above reasons.
They also started to expand their side job and she is within contact newborns and young kids, which made me uncomfortable due to these kids being at risk to catching her colds let alone anything else she could contract on her travels at some point.

&#x200B;

WIBTA if i told her that she shouldnt have or work with kids if shes an antivaxxer/not vaccinated? ######

Response: NTA but there is no point telling her, she won't listen. Tell the businesses she works with, she is endangering children's lives. Hopefully they will put a stop to her. ######


Prompt:
So I’m a 20 year old girl. My best friends brother (16y/o turning 17) has always had a little crush on me growing up. Obviously I care about him and have seen him turn into the person he is and going to be. Three weeks ago we were all hanging out and he pulled a stunt where he bet me something and if I lost I kiss him on the cheek...

when this happened he turned his head making me kiss him on the lips. We all laughed and geeked but since then he will message me some nights begging me to come over with him and that his sister doesn’t have to know. I would tell his sister when he would message me but I wouldn’t tell her the extent to which he would ask. I have religiously told him “no” “that would be bad for you mentally” “you need to have your own experiences with people your age” and he continues on with “I’m past the age of consent” “nobody has to know” he would even try to pull me in and kiss me sometimes, where i would push away and insist no. But i didn’t wanna tear him down either or be real bitchy...

Last night we were all drinking, I went outside and he followed, started with his asking and pulling me in. I continued to chant “no” “this isn’t good” “you need to go to bed” but he kept persisting, so I snapped for a second and kissed him for a couple seconds, thinking “fine! This is all you get”.. but his sister/my best friend came busting out shortly later ordering it to stop. We haven’t talked about it yet and idk what to say, I feel awful that I let it go that far but I was really trying to make him understand why it’s a bad idea without dragging him down. And i guess i just snapped for a second and gave in to get him off my back. Looking back i see I should have been more stern with him. I’m worried my friend thinks more happened than what did and she claims she didn’t hear anything that was said, just saw through a window. Like ive had a pit in my stomach since and I keep wondering if something is wrong with me. ######

Response: NTA but the worse lesson you are teaching him is pressuring a girl gets the results he wants. ######


Prompt:
Background first. I am not an expert on genetics and health but in our family, we are capable of fasting for a very long period without getting sick. I can go up to 3 days drinking only water, eat a huge meal fit for 3 days, then fast for 3 days again without any side effects.

I normally stick to 2-3 meals a day but when there is a dinner event, like buffet, I would fast 2-3 days before and surprise everybody when I eat big amounts of food later(I am rather small 156cm and 51kg).

We were going to hold a small party in our dorm to celebrate the release of lockdown(Yes, it is legal to gather in my country now). We ordered lots of food, and I was going to fast again before the party.

Before the party, a dorm mate of mine asked how I could always eat so much without getting fat. I explained to her that I would simply eat nothing for 2-3 days and eat everything on the day of event. I did warn her that not to do that, not everyone could and it could be dangerous.

Turned out she only listened to the first part of the conversation, starved herself for 2 days and fainted right before the party. She hurt her hips and had to be absent resting in the campus nurse office during the party.

She was and is still angry at me for my "shitty suggestion", but I simply answered her question, I did not suggest for her to starve herself and even specifically told her not to. Her friends are also siding her and blaming me for making her starve and not even bother to give her an apology. I am not apologising for her stupid actions.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA but starving yourself for three days then binging is a pretty bad eating disorder so take care of yourself ######


Prompt:
Apologies for mobile post.

Basically a year ago I did a study abroad program. I had a couple of pet fish I had to leave behind. When I came home I reclaimed my pets, but my younger sister had grown attached to one so she asked to keep it. I said yes, as long as my parents helped with taking care of it. They agreed. For the record it is a pretty low level fish in terms of care; a betta that is in a 5 gallon tank with a filter.

I live two hours away for school. Routinely my mother will text me I need to come home to clean the aquarium. I remind her I offered to take him back with me, and they wanted him so it is not my responsibility. Regardless she will say things like ‘if you don’t come clean it the fish is just going to die’. Among expletives calling me lazy/ungrateful for not just doing it for them.

In the past I have come and done it just to ensure the fish’s health. Most of the time the tank isn’t even dirty; the 9 year old leaves the light on so algae grows on the glass and they take that to mean it’s ‘dirty’.
Given current circumstances I’m even less keen on the 4 hour drive.

AITA for not wanting to drive two hours there and two back just to clean a fish tank when I have taught them how but they refuse? ######

Response: NTA but spare yourself and just bring the fish back with you next time you visit. Then you don't have to worry about the drive or the fish. If your sister or parents complain, tell them that if they're not responsible enough to care for it, then they don't get to keep it. ######


Prompt:
Here’s my situation: My wife (23f) and I (22m) had been trying for a baby for about a year and were having no luck.

One day my wife decides that it was a perfect time to tell me that she was infertile, this made me angry. We had been trying for almost no reason at all and all this disappointment was for absolutely no reason.

I yelled at her, which in hindsight was not a good decision. We apologized both apologized and I told her I was sorry and I shouldn’t have yelled at her.

The next morning she was in a happier mood than usual. I asked her about it and she explained this grand plan to fake her pregnancy. I told her it didn’t sound like a good idea. She got super defensive and angry and said that I shouldn’t take away the opportunity for here to feel like she has a child of her own.

I tried to explain that she would be messing with the emotions of others and it wouldn’t be fair to our family but she wouldn’t budge. We didn’t talk about it for around a month until a large package came in the mail, she was on an office retreat so I opened it ( we often open each others mail so this wasn’t abnormal )

I was shocked by what was inside, there were 9 silicon baby bellies and 4 silicon baby dolls. I thought it might have been a mistake and so I waited for her to get back.

When I confronted her about it she got SUPER angry she said that I am a selfish prick and I should mind my own ducking business. Obviously I was upset. later that night I was getting ready for bed when she kicked me out. This was my house she moved in to it and didn’t make any payments for it. What right did she have to kick me out of MY house.

I just went to a friends because I didn’t want to deal with the argument. When I got back I begged her to return the stuff and not pretend like she was pregnant. She got angry and threatened divorce.

This is where we are at now AITA? ######

Response: NTA but she needs to go see a therapist or something. That’s not normal. ######


Prompt:
I can't even believe I'm writing this. It feels so ridiculous but I feel like I'm going out of my mind.

Several of my friends have now expressed that they think it's "covert racism" and "culture appropriation" because my Animal Crossing character is black.

I'm a white female but when I started playing I decided I would make my character have dark skin, pink hair and purple eyes - literally nothing like what I look like in person because I just wanted it to be a cute character. I even gave my character a different name that's nothing like mine.

I've been playing for about a month and I don't have live, but I found an adorable villager and I sent my friends (who don't play AC) a picture of my screen and BAM they started telling me it's not right and to make my character white because only black people should be able to used darker skin colour options.

I keep telling them that's stupid because it's just a game... If I ever have a daughter I'll buy her all skin colour Barbies to play with, it shouldn't be any different.

I ended up asking my coworkers about it (a few of who play the game) and they also said it's similar to doing blackface, just virtual...

Seriously AITA? I don't see how it could be wrong when it's just a character I love and created for the purpose of the game.

TL;DR: Made my AC character a dark skinned girl, even named her something else, and my friends and coworkers think it's racist blackface. ######

Response: NTA but please think about all the purple eyed people you are offending as well! lol ######


Prompt:
So when me and my fiancé Johnathan met, I knew that he had three kids and was going through a divorce.

Now, Emily and Johnathan had a bad split, she cheated on him with a friend of their family and pretty much broke his heart.

I’ve taken Johnathan and his three kids in with open arms, the children had even begun to call me mom, but Emily threw a fit and demanded they call me ONLY by name. Nothing else. She hates that I do the girls hair, and trash talks me and their father in front of them.

Now, the kids and I have a great relationship and love each other very much, however whenever their mother is around they completely ignore me, and pretend I’m not even around. At first I thought it was normal, however I’m starting to get the feeling they are pretending to like me. Am I the asshole for wanting them to knowledge me when she’s around?

(Kids ages are 4,7,9) ######

Response: NTA but please don't. You're an adult. They're small children who've been put in an impossible situation by their mom. Please don't insist on this. Try to arrange it so you're not around when their mother is. Hand offs should be between your husband and his ex. Take the high road and never bad mouth their mother anywhere they might come across it. This situation sucks for them and you can help make it better. ######


Prompt:
I'm moving in with my husband, long story but I have to move countries.

His son is living there. I have questions and I feel like I'm not being told the whole story so here it goes:

\- He moved a few years ago after saying he need a few months to sort himself out. I didn't agree to looking after a man-child when I married my husband and step-son wasn't in the plan for us.

\- He had a job in a shop as a manager in 2017 and quit after a few weeks as he was too "stressed".

\- Since then, he's sat at home doing nothing and my husband is funding this.

Now, he's turned 25 and will no longer be able to be on our health insurance in a year (when he turns 26). I do not like seeing my husband being taken advantage of and I have a suspicion his son has access to our joint account. Soon my salary will be in there, AITA for not wanting to bank roll the adult step-son and expect him to be working? AITA for suggesting my husband put pressure on his son and stop enabling him to be a lazy c\*\*t? I feel like I'm having the pee taken out of me.

If he's depressed, then we can take him to see a therapist and get it sorted but this has gone on too long now. I don't feel I'm the a\*\*hole but feel my husband needs to man up and my step-son needs to get a life as it' really sad that he has no friends his own age or career prospects. ######

Response:
 NTA but please don't let this guy have access to your money. You dont HAVE to have a joint account.

Therapy sounds like a good option. I wouldn't call him a lazy c××t though, especially if you suspect depression. ######


Prompt:
So I (F/22) at the moment live with my family. Sadly our apartment isn't huge so I'm sharing a room with my brother (18), always had. Now this might sound childish from my perspective, but it is what it is and I can't take it anymore. He pretty much has a routine - almost every day goes to sleep at around 10pm and wakes up at 7am. I usually go to bed at around midnight and sleep at least until 9am. When he wakes up, he doesn't care about anything else but himself. He opens up the curtains to the fullest (so that the light could come in); opens and closes drawers with a bang; when leaving the room, literally smashes the door; sometimes he even plays the dang music. Basically it's like there's no one else in the room. The proper way would be to just tell him, right? Tried before. He literally says: "I don't fkin care, maybe it's time to sleep less".
Now when I go to sleep (which is later than him) and he's already asleep, I literally try my best to be as silent as possible (I don't even know why I do this anymore). I could be turning on this small table lamp (so I could see things in the dark) and he'll literally start complaining. I thought about doing this thing where I act like I don't care either and when I go to sleep, I could just do the same things he does, so that he knows what it feels like. The only problem is that I don't like being mean, I'm not the type of person. Literally feel like I would be the asshole here, would I?
Also it triggers me even more considering I suffer from insomnia and I'm lucky enough if I fall asleep at like 6am and get to sleep for 3 hours. From yesterday literally started sleeping on the couch in another room... ######

Response:
 NTA but OP your solution will get you nowhere, it'll just escalate things into a petty war.

Have you tried sitting down and trying to reach a compromise with your  brother? If you two are able to talk to each other on other topics without fighting maybe you can reach some sort of truce with this as well.

The elephant in the room here might also be that the room you're sharing with your brother now probably used to just be his room right? ######


Prompt:
I own my house. Myself, very old dog Beau and a housemate live in it. Because beau is old he is inside while I’m at work and I’ve always been very clear that my housemate needs to keep his door closed. The other day he didn’t and Beau got into a very large bag of chocolate, I got home and caught it, an emergency vet visit later and he is fine. my housemate has demanded I replace his chocolate, I’ve said ok fine I’ll replace his chocolate if he pays for the vet bill(which I never asked him to pay until he kicked up a stink about his chocolate)
AITA for not wanting to replace his chocolate because he left his door open? Yes the dog is solely mine but still... ######

Response: NTA but only if you pay the dog tax and show us Beau, the good boi. ######


Prompt:
Forgive me, but English is not my first language.

I am planning to get married soon, and I, a male, am planning to change my family (last) name to my wife’s last name.

My entire family’s pissed for a multitude of reasons:

**Grandparents:**

Women need to give up last name, never men!

**Father:**

You’re escaping the family curse! (My last name is Kim, and we live in Japan, which has discrimination against Koreans. It was really bad when my father was working, now it’s thankfully low-key and not bad at all). He has a “we suffered due to last name so you suffer” mentality.

**Mother:**

Who else is going to carry out family name and legacy! You only have one sister who can’t carry it! I am not letting my branch of family end on my watch!

**Sister:**

\[looking peeved\] You’re just tired of people asking you to speak Korean, right? Just deal with it! (My family lineage stopped speaking Korean at my great-grandfather’s generation).

**I just want to change my last name so…**

1) Symbolize that my wife is the master of the household.

2) I can escape low-key racism.

3) Stop disappointing people when they try to be friendly by animatedly asking if I can speak Korean, only to find out I can only speak Japanese and English.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA but only because - this is a decision for yourself and your wife and if she's fine with it then that's all that matters.

Also I got a good laugh at your father wanting you to suffer because he suffered. He sounds like my great-grandmother who complained we never had to endure the Great Depression and WWII as though that was a bad thing. Pretty sure if she'd had the power she'd have crashed the stockmarket just to teach us a lesson. ######


Prompt:
I (21f) am an intern at my company and will be in my position until December and have been here since January. My coworker (50's f) has been working her for about 25 years.

My office is no where near anyone else's office (great place to put your intern, btw). While it is a bigger office then hers, there is really nothing that makes this office better. There is only really a desk in here, not even a trash can. And it is right next to the bathroom, so you can here and smell when others have used it... Often.

Her office is by everyone else in the department, and while it is smaller, it has many storage spots and much more usable space.

The issue is that she had been telling me that she will be moving into this space. First, she only mentioned to my supervisor and didn't even say a word to me. She then changed her mind, saying she'll wait until I go back to school in August, not knowing I'm hereunto December.

Now, she knows I'm here longer than she expected and told me "well, I want to move in over here soon."

I don't care either way, but I feel a little disrespected by her essentially telling me rather than asking.

WIBTAH if I tell her that I don't mind switching, but would appreciate it if she asked to switch rather than tell me?

I am only an intern, so maybe I'm out of line trying to get someone who has a higher status and now experience to ask rather than say. I also don't want to be disrespectful in return.

So reddit, WIBTAH? ######

Response: NTA but not in the position to make a big deal about it.  Maybe just ask your supervisor "hey, x mentioned that we might be swapping offices soon. I haven't heard anything from you about it yet so I wasnt sure if it was just an idea or something that was going ahead.  I'm happy to move across if you want me to, just let me know if/when." That way it's flagged (if they don't know about it, it will make them aware without you being labeled as difficult). ######


Prompt:
Long story short, my boyfriend spends a moderate sized chunk of money on things like patreon and onlyfans so I got annoyed and told him something along the lines of "Why do you spend all this money on random women when I'm right here and we could use this money to go somewhere together", it also makes me feel bad when I see him replying to these models tweets about how hot they are and how he'd love to fuck them, even though we follow each other

Anyway, my comment annoyed him and he snapped at me and said "why the fuck does it matter how much i spend".

Am I being unreasonable with this? I feel ignored because I am here to do all that stuff with if he wants.. ######

Response: NTA but my heart hurts reading this thread and your replies to everyone, OP. You seem to think that this isn’t a sign of his disrespect towards you and your monogamous relationship, you say you wouldn’t break up with him over this. All I can say is re-read what everyone has said to you and don’t discount it. I can’t believe he openly does this stuff and I can’t believe that you can’t see what his actions actually mean. This is a highly troubling relationship and I hope you gain clarity about all of this because I hate to think of you being with someone like that. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) paid for a vacation in the Bahamas at the end of July. His passport was expired so I nagged him for months to get it since we booked it in January. He didn’t do it until the beginning of March.

Today he called me from work upset... he checked on his passport because it still hadn’t arrived and the website had announcements asking people not to renew passports at this time and that anyone who does will experience several months’ worth of delays. I think the process is already a few months to begin with so he was cutting it close regardless.

I’m PO’d because I told him to do it in January and it somehow took him 2 whole months to actually do it. My brother (20M) cancelled his trip to Europe because it was coming up soon and everything is still closed, so he has his passport and told me he would go with me if my boyfriend can’t. It‘s a resort with water parks and stuff, not a romantic-getaway-type trip so I told him I’d take him if need be and pay my boyfriend back his half.

My boyfriend is playing the victim saying I’m making him feel worse and not picking him up when he’s down. I was kind of short on the phone with him and didn’t really offer much sympathy, but I didn’t pull the “I told you so” card or even bring up my brother. Honestly, though, I feel like it’s 100% his fault for not doing it when I did in January so I can’t decide if I would be horrible for taking my brother if his passport falls through. So I’ll leave it up to you random people.

WIBTA? ######

Response: nta but my end of july trip to jamaica was just cancelled, unfortunately yours probably will be as well ######


Prompt: He says "we have two incomes so we split the rent two ways and that's how it works" but I don't feel like that's right. I'm paying rent for his wife... They're my friends and I don't want it to become an issue but I'm beginning to feel taken advantage of... I know we aren't supposed to post about interpersonal conflict so I tried to keep it just about the math. Sorry if this is against the rules, but I really need to figure this out. ######

Response:
 NTA but maybe not 2/3, especially if they're sharing a room. I lived with a couple and we spilt it such that they each paid less than I did, but together it was still more. The fact that they only have one income doesn't really matter, they're still two separate people you have to live with instead of one.

Just make sure you approach it matter-of-factly and not like you're demanding or getting mad, this is a pretty reasonable ask. ######