Prompt:
Okay so I'm a queer woman in a relationship with a straight man. I don't shout my sexuality from the rooftops but I'm also not willing to hide it or pretend it's not a part of my identity.
Title is slightly misleading but basically my (24F) boyfriend (27M) just told me "I wish our relationship was more simple and it was just a heterosexual relationship where we love eachother"
This fucking confused me because we've been together for 6 years, neither of us have ever cheated or been unfaithful but he's always had some lowkey issues with me being queer simply because it makes him feel insecure, but he's not really vocal about it except for this instance and a few others. This one really bothered me though.
Here's where I may be TA, I'm about to get my period and I'm not sure if it's the heightened emotions or what but what he said stung and I immediately yelled and got really angry and said "what the fuck does that mean? it basically is a heterosexual relationship where we love eachother except I'm not straight". He said that it was confusing, I told him I know he's smarter than that and it's not complicated at all.
Now I'm not talking to him and I'm still really pissed off.
This isn't the first time we've fought about this and I'm getting tired of it.
AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It's not confusing. What he means is that he has insecurities and it's easier to put that on your sexuality than it is to look within himself and get that shit fixed.

6 years is a lot of time to waste with someone who views your sexuailty as problematic. Make sure this gets dealt with, not swept under the rug until next time. Stick to your guns whether that means a heart to heart or going to therapy to get this sorted. DO NOT SETTLE for someone willing to make you feel bad to make themselves feel better.

Edit: and don't let him make this about your period. Girl this is queerphobia were talking about you'd be pissed regardless of whether or not a shining elevator of blood was about to burst forth. ######


Prompt: So last weekend, a few mates and I got together and had drinks/dinner while watching bad movies. The apartment belonged to Sophia. At some point, she asked if I could get something out of her walk-in pantry while she cooked. Her and another of my friends locked me in. I have claustrophia as a result of trauma I experienced as a child (I don't feel comfortable sharing online). They are aware of it. So I panicked and begged them to let me out. After 2-3 minutes of them laughing, I couldn't take it anymore so I kicked the door which broke the hinges and caused it to fall off. It was only small and made of seemingly flimsy wood. I ended up having a screaming match with the two that locked me in while a third friend arrived. Said third friend agreed that what they did was terrible but the other two said I overreacted and should pay for the door. I disagreed so my friend and I left. Sophia has contacted me asking for money but I'm steadfast in believing I shouldn't pay for anything. I also think I'm owed an apology. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

It was childish AF to lock you in the pantry and to not let you out after begging. They are definitely sucky for that.

You may want to use this as an opportunity to seek out some new kinder mates and reevaluate how much you desire keeping the friendship with these original ones.

Best of luck. ######


Prompt:
My parents pay for my undergraduate degree and also pay for my brother’s masters. He graduated from his undergraduate 4 years ago, and I’m finishing mine this year, I literally am just missing one more period and I finish my classes. I really want to finish my undergraduate and have my graduation with my friends.

COVID-19 has had an economic impact on my family, fortunately we have everything we need, but it has come to the point where my parents believe they cannot have us both enrolled in university, just one of us. Either way, one of us would have to pause their studies so the other can continue. He wants to continue even though he’s not close to finishing his studies yet and he already has his undergraduate degree. I want to continue because I’m so close to finishing, i just have one more period to go and I’m done.

So, am I the asshole?? ######

Response:
 NTA.

In the long run the one period you need will be cheaper. Can your brother take loans for the period he can’t be helped? ######


Prompt:
 We've been dating for about 18 months now and living together for just over 8. Her apartments closer to both of our works. Her sister (S) moved in 2 months ago as she's pregnant, her husbands in the army and the rest of the families in a different state.

My GFs a nurse and has been working some pretty long hours, to take the load of my GF I've been pretty much doing all the cooking, washing and cleaning.

I have a lot of work to do so I'm just pretty much keeping to myself and not really trying to inconvenience anyone. I eat around after every 3 hours so whenever I eat I also make a little something for her as well.

So the problem is that whenever GF gets off from work she always ends up having to giver her sister a massage which I suspect is because she's pregnant but I don't know. GF and I got into a sort of whisper argument where she called me an AH as I should help S out when she's in pain.

Her reasons for:

* AH move not helping a pregnant women when she's in pain
* GF is stressed & tired with having to work long hours and would rather spend what little time she has relaxing
* I give GF massages when she's sore so whats the difference
* And I give good massages (mom was a masseuse)

My reason:

* Its a bit weird giving someone you're not close to a massage

We kind of agreed to continue the conversation  in the morning when she wakes for her shift, bit I need to know whether I'm in the wrong or not so that's why I'm here. ######

Response:
 NTA.

If you're not comfortable doing it, you're not comfortable. No discussion needed.

Your girlfriend needs to respect your boundaries. ######


Prompt:
So, my mom doesn't really do boundaries.  I was assigned female at birth but identify as male.  Because of the pandemic I haven't been able to start things that I planned to start.  Ever since I started puberty she does this thing where she is in the bathroom while I shower.

It started with her coming in and going to the bathroom while I'm showering.  But now that I'm out of the closet, she tends to come in right after I've started my shower.  She will not only go to the bathroom while I'm showering, but also brush her teeth and complain at me about my dad, who is her ex-husband.

I end up having to tell her to get out most of the time.  She doesn't seem to understand why I won't dry off in the shower while she keeps talking at me.  I feel like she's waiting to see me naked so that she can see if I've done anything to "damage" my body, as she puts it.  It makes me really uncomfortable.

She insists it's perfectly normal for mothers to be in the bathroom while their kids are showering but I'm 21 now.  And she thinks it's fine for her to be in there because she "grew me inside of her".  She can't see my reasoning for why it makes me uncomfortable, no matter how many times I try to explain it to her.

AITA for not wanting her to come into the bathroom while I'm showering? ######

Response:
 NTA.

If my parents came into the bathroom while I was taking a shower I'd lose my shit. Not really okay for anyone to be in the bathroom with you, unless you want them to be. Also, maybe invest in a door lock as a solution? ######


Prompt:
AITA: for getting frustrated with my MIL and now SIL just stopping bye whenever they feel like it.

So I am going to start off I generally like my MIL... My husband and I live in a small town and MIL lives 2 minutes away. SIL is currently long visit and is staying with the in-laws. We have had issues with her just showing up since we have been together (3 and half years now). Husband has tried to talk to MIL but it keep happening.

This week they tried to stopped by without calling while husband and I were having “some couple time.” Dog was barking but we didn’t hear anything. After we were done I had missed call from SIL. She said they dropped by and asked what we were doing ... I lied. Husband was upset. This was not the first time MIL has knocked on the door while we were doing the act.

Today, SIL calls husband ... he ignores it because he is playing a game. I have the front door open so the dog can lay on the chair and watch the street (she is a chihuahua). She starts barking more than usual. I go to look out and step out of the house. There I see my MIL and SIL coming up to my door. I told them, “So you call husband and when doesn’t answer you just come over?”

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I’ve had conversations with my husband about MIL doing the same thing in the beginning as well. I might have said truthfully what I was doing, though, just so they’d feel super awkward and never come over unannounced again. ######


Prompt:
Obviously I know what my diagnoses are now, but I just wanted some other verdicts on this. And for reference, I am 18f.

When I was four years old, I was diagnosed with mosaic Turner Syndrome (TS). I won't get too into this, but basically I knew that I was 'different' because of all the medications I had to take and doctors I had to see. I always asked my parents why I had to do all this extra stuff while my younger siblings didn't, but they always didn't answer me. But when I was 12 years old, my mom sat me down and told me that I had turner syndrome, and what it exactly was, and that explained so much about me.

I had been seeing a psychologist for many years, and one day when I was 13, I was taken in to do this all-day test thing that I didn't know why I was doing it. I do remember that my mom and my psychologist made me go out of the room while they discussed the results. Last night, I was filling out health stuff for college, and as my mom was looking it over, she added non-verbal learning disorder (NVLD) to the list of various health concerns I had. Obviously, that was news to me, and she didn't really say much about it, just gave me my laptop back. After researching stuff, NVLD does explain some aspects of my personality as well as some physical stuff.

I'm just angry that my mom hid all this stuff from me, and I'm wondering if my anger is even justified at all. I haven't lashed out or anything, just silently fuming. I did try asking once why I was kept in the dark for all this time, and they just said that I was too young and wouldn't have understood then. However, many teachers and adults have described me as perceptive and intelligent for my age, and I have met various TS girls who had been told about and understood the condition at a very young age.

So was my mom in the wrong? Or is my anger unjustified? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I was very sick in second grade. I’m now 32. I still have no idea what I was diagnosed with (all I know is my white cell count was in the basement and I missed a lot of school in first and second grade). My mom died without telling me. Who fuckin knows? Not I.

It’s incredibly damaging and irresponsible to not tell you about your own medical history. Are there other things she hasn’t told you that you have?! ######


Prompt:
My inlaws passed away 5 months apart from various health issues 2years ago. My husband (34M) & me (31F) have been married for 9 years and we have a 4yr old. He was generally a cheerful guy, But since his parents have passed away, he has been playing the victim card for every little disagreement we have had.
For example -
Me: "Can you take the garbage out?"
Him: "Can't you see I'm still grieving and not ready to do these things yet? Can you stop pestering me!!"
Things came to a head recently when he said he wished my parents were dead instead of his parents. I swallowed that comment as he was crying looking at a picture of his parents.
Now a month later he says he has never said anything of that sort and I'm the "Demon" who has such terrible thoughts about him. He is giving me the silent treatment now and says I'm the problem for not loving him.
Please help me on what to do. I can't keep saying sorry and groveling for no fault of mine. ######

Response:
 NTA.

i think you need to harden your heart a little in this situation. i think a touch of tough love/reality will hopefully help him see what he is doing. because this is how marriages end.

i think (and really, feel free to tell me to piss off - i'm just feeling chatty, i guess) that you need to tell him a few real hard facts. i am a big fan of separating myself from my emotional state and trying to be as objective as possible - "channel my inner Vulcan" as i tell my kid - so i would definitely do what you need to do to prepare - no one likes the tough love talks.

the facts are that while he is greiving, he is also starting to develop a martyr complex - get off your cross, it's winter and we need the wood. he is shirking his responsibilities and doing some weird gaslighting shit. When he denies it (and he will) just wave your hand and say something like:

"See? THIS is what i'm talking about. THIS shit is not okay. Don't treat me like i am so dumb you can talk over me and change the facts. We are a team, and a family, and you and i both know you are having a hard time.  You are not being co-captain, you are happy to be warming the bench. Find someone to talk to if you won't do therapy and won't be honest with me. I don't care how, but i care that you are able to live the life your parents would want you to have. The way you are behaving isn't really in line with that. Lashing out at me, creating all this constant drama and strife - that's definitely a sign that you need to find a way to process this. I love you, but i am not responsible for your emotions.You are. I can't fix you, we all fix ourselves. I am your wife and i am here to support you and love you. You don't need therapy? Well I don't need another child to raise. I need my husband. Your parents raised you to be a good man - so BE a good man."

This is all pulled out of my ass, of course, and theoreticals are easier than actualities. I am an overthinker though, and reherse in my head, and try to anticipate reactions, and how i would address that, etc, etc. i always try very hard to be kind, and calm, and empathetic - but i am rock solid, no give. it's like cotton candy over a rock.

i hope things get better for you; even if you think i have my head up my ass, all g - i just feel for you ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because everyone involved knows my main. I am on mobile and fat fingered so forgive grammer spelling and formatting mistakes.

I dont feel comfortable  putting too much detail in this so I will keep it short. If you need more info ask.

With that out of the way, lets begin. So i recently proposed to my girlfriend and we are getting married sometime next year. My fiance has gone into full planning mode. While we were talking about guests I brought up my friend who we will call leah. Leah has known my since we were children and has been one of my closest friends for many years. I obviously wanted her to be there.

Only problem is that she and I tried dating in university and slept together. It didnt work out and after a period of awkwardness we got back to where we used to be. She came out as lesbian a year afterwards and admitted that she had only slept with me becausr she was unsure of her feelings.

I told my fiance about this sometime earlier and eversince things have been ice between her and leah. She is now adamant not to have leah at the wedding. I really want her to be there but i also want respect my fiances wishes so here I am asking you. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I mean, I'm also a jealous person...but *come on*. Not only was your "relationship" with Leah abrupt, but she's a lesbian!

Your wife is insecure. You should be allowed to have your closest friends at your wedding. ######


Prompt:
I’m 22F. Boyfriend “Joe” 22M. BF’s brother “Dan” 25M.

I’ve been living with Joe for 2 years now, and we’ve been dating for 4. Dan is Joe’s maternal half brother and he’s been living with their mom for his entire life—he’s never moved out, until now he has to because their mom finally got sick of him and kicked him out.

I don’t dislike Dan, but I know he’s a slob. He’s getting kicked out of their mom’s house because he never does anything for himself or the house (no cooking, no cleaning—not even after himself, no buying groceries, no paying bills, etc.). Basically he just acts like he’s still a kid who has no responsibility to himself or his home and spends all the money he makes at his job on weed and new stuff for himself.

When Joe came to me about possibly renting one of our spare rooms to Dan for awhile, I told him my reasoning above and said I wasn’t okay with it. I thing Dan is nice to hang out with, but I refuse to live with him. I don’t trust him to pay his rent or supplement any of the other expenses in the house like groceries/internet/cable/etc. I don’t trust him to help out around the house or not smoke weed inside. I don’t expect him (or Joe) to cook, because I do all the cooking and I like it, but if he’s not going to help out at all he’s not living with me and eating the food I cook and (mostly) pay for myself.

Joe was upset. He can understand my reasoning, but he thinks we should let Dan move in because he can’t afford to rent a house on his own, and he doesn’t want his brother to be homeless. I still firmly say no and believe Dan should try moving in with his girlfriend or one of his friends.

Joe is now proposing we do a trial run and let Dan move in for a month, and if he doesn’t meet my expectations we have him move out. I told him I’d think about it, but honestly I don’t think it’s worth the hassle because I strongly doubt he’d meet my expectations.

AITA if I say no to Dan moving in, even for a month long “trial run”? ######

Response:
 NTA.

I guarantee you if you let him move in, a month from now you'll be kicking yourself - and Dan also won't be moving out. The "trial run" thing is a farce - depending on where you live, he more than likely will be considered a legal tenant at that point and so getting him out isn't easy or quick should he decide to dig in his heels. Also, based on Joe's reaction to your objections, I don't see a scenario where Joe relents and asks his brother to leave after a month.

I get that it's his brother and so it's hard for Joe, but part of why Dan is this way is due to his enablers allowing him to be this way - his mom, and now his brother. It would be a good thing for Dan to have to figure out his own living situation his family swooping in to make life easy for him.

You are completely in the right here. ######


Prompt:
So, my daughter's Father owes a ton of back child support. Part of the outstanding balance is taken from his paychecks along with each current payment. It's not enough to pay it all back before she's 18, but it is deducted nevertheless. Anyway, he got a letter in the mail from the US Treasury Dept telling him that they've intercepted his $1200 corona stimulus check, and it will be applied to the back child support he owes. He almost immediately contacted me to tell me about the letter and how he was counting on that money. He was very upset that they would do that to him in a "it's not fair" kind of tone. I gathered that he believes that the money that is already garnished from his paychecks should have been enough to avoid additional consequences for being a former "deadbeat" Had he been keeping up with the stimulus check news then he would have known that this was going to happen. They announced that back child support debtors would not get checks a while ago. To his credit, he has been a consistent father in our daughter's life since the Attorney General's office caught up with him several years back and garnished his wages. And we have been on civil coparenting terms with few issues. But now, he has projected his frustration and bind onto me because he had already spent the stimulus money in his head that he isn't getting. I know this pandemic has hit people in the pockets, but he has not mentioned being in a bad financial situation since he is still able to work these days. I don't know what he planned on using the money for, and I don't ever ask him for extra money whenever I'm in a tight spot. AITA if I decline handing it over to him when I get it??

Le sigh... ######

Response:
 NTA.

How about the fact that it wasn’t fair to your child or you that he was a deadbeat for such a long time? ######


Prompt:
Our house has a weird layout. My bedroom is downstairs, general living space and the bathroom are upstairs. To get to the shower, I have to walk up the stairs and through the living room. Each time I have a shower, I wrap myself in a towel and walk through the living room to go downstairs. It’s a bath sheet, it covers everything down to my knees. The only thing really showing is my shoulders.  My Dad has said things a couple of times but I didn’t know it was a real issue. Today I was walking through the living room after my shower and he glared at me. I asked what was wrong and he said, “I guess I don’t have naked women in my house very often.” I said I wasn’t naked and I have worn dresses and other outfits more revealing than a towel. He just scoffed at me.

I can’t really get a bathrobe now. But too be honest I don’t really like them, and I don’t see why I should have to get one when a towel is really sufficient for a 5-sec walk through the living room. I never do it in front of company or anything. I guess I could get dressed in the bathroom but I like to lounge a bit and do skincare and hair care in my room before getting dressed.

AITA for doing this or is he the one overreacting? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Has he never seen you at the beach?

Him saying that sounds really creepy/weird too. You’re his daughter, not just some “naked woman” in his house. ######


Prompt:
Hear me out.

For reference, my (23f) family is quite large. I was also quite large until I moved out at 18 and lost 65 lbs (29kg). I went from obese my entire life, to having a normal BMI and finally being healthy.

My older sister (27f, also severely obese) has a 2 year old son. He is currently 50 lbs (23kg). He has a hanging stomach and actual fat rolls.

I live in a different country than my family (I moved) so I don't see them often in person, but I see pictures on social media. Every picture it seems he is only getting bigger. Now that it's summer, they're posting pictures of him without a shirt on and you can just see how huge his stomach is and how he has back rolls. It breaks my heart and frustrates me because I know what it's like to grow up obese and how difficult it makes your life.

In almost every picture, he is eating some sort of junk food. Whenever they call me, they're giving him some candy/chips in the background. It seems they just feed him bad foods all day every day. I try to give them advice on nutrition but they don't want to hear it. They embrace the "I'll eat what makes me happy" lifestyle and know almost nothing of nutrition at all.

Finally, I kind of snapped and told them he's fat and they need to pay attention to his health. My mom and sister got so pissed off that they actually blocked me on social media and called me an AH for making fun of a 2 year old. I didn't mean to make fun of him, I just care for his health since I know how the extra weight can bring you down both physically and mentally. Also I of course did not call a 2 year old fat to his face as it's not even his fault that he's obese, it's the adults fault.

What do you guys think? AITA? ######

Response:
 Nta.

Fuck i was expecting a ... But 50lbs at 2...how is his lttle heart handling that. My 4 year old isn't that heavy. ######


Prompt:
Backstory my(23F) step father(59M) passed away over 2 years ago suddenly. Prior to his passing my sister(38F) wasn't very active in his life, she wouldn't call, visit, etc... Dad would call her at least twice a week every week and write her letters. The whole family attempted to reach her aswell but she refused to talk with our father. Christmas before he passed she showed up to the house, yelled at him and called him and various family members pretty much every name in the book and said never to contact her again.

Fast forward 4 months and our father passed away unexpectedly. She made an appearance at the funeral then she disappeared, and up until a few weeks ago when she showed up at my home out of the blue.
     Our father had a will, I was listed as in charge of his estate and all of his possessions but he did have very specific possessions in his will to be given to his son(35M) and other daughter(33F). There was also specific instructions that sister(38F) wasn't to be given anything.

When she came to my home she handed me a list of our dads possessions that she wanted. Most of the items on the list were already given to the perspective family members, I was just gonna give her some of our fathers motorcycle memorabilia and be done with it. Well she decided that wasn't enough and has been threatening legal action against me stating that my house that our father left to me should be hers and that because she's the oldest that she has legal right to it. After she said this I decided to not give her anything and told her if she came back I'd have her arrested for trespassing.

Ever since this encounter a good portion of our family is harassing me for this stating how that because I'm not his real daughter I shouldn't be so greedy towards his possessions and to give my sister some things.

My other siblings agree with my decision but a part of me still feels like I'm being an asshole. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Firstly, sorry for your loss. Secondly. You have executed the request of his will and you are the heir to everything he left behind to you. She can threaten legal action however there is a willlll, a legal document already establishing who does and doesn’t get what.

She chose to act however she acted toward your dad and is now suffering the after consequences of lack of communication with him.

You owe her nothing. ######


Prompt:
I hate boats. I am deathly afraid of boats. Can’t stand them. Whenever I’m on one my legs start to shake and I can’t breathe. Now I don’t live in a particularly aquatic town so it’s a pretty easy fear to live with. I just don’t get on boats.

Everyone in my family knows this, including my step mom. But yesterday, my dad and my step mom sat my brother and I down. They said they booked a family cruise for September. I said no way in hell am I getting on a fucking boat.

My step mom says

“I know you don’t like boats, but it’s a large boat so you won’t even know your on one!”

Which is one of the stupidest things I’ve heard her say. I say yeah no, refund my ticket and I’ll go stay with my mom. Step mom starts bawling, and talking about how it’s “her dream to go on a cruise”. Which is so bullshit. Last week it was her dream to own a Tesla”

She says that I’ve ruined the family trip. I say that it’s not a family trip if she’s coming because she’s not family. Which was a low blow, I take full responsibility for that. But to me she’s still the women my dad cheated on my mom with. She starts crying even harder, and runs into her room and slams the door.

My dad is mad at me now, and my brother thinks I was being rude, which is true. I was. But I’ve been pretty clear that I will not get on a boat. And to clarify, she wants my brother and I to take two weeks off of school for this trip! It’s my first year of highschool and my brothers senior year so it’s kinda important that we don’t miss two weeks. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Everyone knew that you are afraid of boats, including your step mother.

Did that stop her from booking the cruise? No. Did you *ruin* the vacation? Also no.

Yes, your comment was pretty low. But the way I see it is that you are still angry that your father cheated on your mother, splitting the family apart (Entirely reasonable, affairs are extremely wrong).

Your father is mainly to blame; if he stayed loyal this situation wouldn’t have happened. ######


Prompt:
So basically what the title says but I will give you more details. Members of my family think AITA because I've requested that they only call me before 11am or after 8pm. Why? Because my boyfriend works 10pm to 7:00AM and I follow his schedule. I don't work because I am disabled and by following his schedule I get to spend more then an hour or 2 with him. And I don't want to turn my ringer on my phone off just in case there is an emergency. I don't get any other phone calls except from my family and a couple friends. Hell even my doctors offices have mainly followed my request. They only call me after 11AM if there something major they need to talk to me about. And my friends have all agreed to respect my request. However members of my family think I'm being completely unreasonable and think if they want to call me they can. And I said if they do I will just block their number because I don't want to disturb my boyfriend while he is asleep. I've told all of them there is absolutely nothing so important that can't wait until 8pm to call. And its not like any of them go to bed before then. I've told them to text me (I have my notifications on silent) asking me to call them when I wake up and I'll call them back.

I'm just not seeing why this is such a horrible request. If I'm in the wrong can someone people point it out to me. Thanks ######

Response:
 NTA.

Do Not Disturb mode should be your best friend. You can set it so if a certain number calls X times in a row, it’ll ring like normal. In an actual emergency, hopefully they would call you more than once to alert you to the situation. ######


Prompt:
Guys, please tell me if I was too harsh with my roommate. I’m going to admit that I find her pretty annoying and slightly racist.

We live in an apartment building that caters to student housing. They rent by the bedroom, so I did not know my roommate before I moved in at the beginning of the semester ( she was there first and has had three other roommates)

Now, either she’s ignorant or racist but there are things that she does that bothers me. She constantly asks me questions about “black” things. Think, “Do black people really....” When she saw me make my dinner one time she said “wow black people really can cook!” And offered to pay me to cook for her. She calls me “boo”. She just seems like an alien that has never met a black person before.

The thing that annoys me most is that she is constantly asking me to teach her how to twerk and shake her ass, or to do it myself. I am actually a ballet dancer, and while I have nothing against ass shaking, it annoys me that it is all that I am boiled down to.

Before this whole lock down mess it was easy to avoid her. Now I’m stuck with her and she’s getting on my nerves.

Last night she busted into my room playing Ass by Big Sean on her phone. I was reading. She had a bit to drink and started asking me to dance with her and show her how to twerk. I told her no. And she begged me, saying “come on I want to learn!” I said “It’ll he hard to learn with no ass...” And she actually got super upset about that y’all! She started yelling about how she was trying to have fun with me, calling me stuck up, and *crying*.

She went to her room and left me alone for the rest of the night, this morning I said hello to her and she’s ignoring me. It seems like I really hurt her feelings. At the same time, maybe it taught her not to bother me. Idk, am I an asshole for saying she has no ass? ######

Response:
 NTA.

But now she probably thinks black people are rude, as you are somehow the official spokesperson.

She'll survive. ######


Prompt:
 My husband (37m) and I (37f) have been together 21 years married 18. I have a low capacity stomach. I am the type who orders a single burger, no fries and drink, and be full. It's been a running joke in our marriage that I eat like the birds.

Anyway, he is out of work (chef) and we decided it would be best for him to extend his quarantine time due to him being high risk. Since then he has become a huge "food pusher." He asks if I'm hungry and I ask for 1 egg and he brings me 4. Or he insists on making my plate and gives me a large man sized portion.

What's worse -for me- is when i balk at the amount he laughs at me and says he "has faith I can finish it." When I don't he gets upset at me for wasting food. I feel like I'm being set up.

I have tried talking to him. I have tried being patient and telling myself he is overcompensating since he is out of work. But I am have gained 10lbs and am constantly nauseous from overeating. Yesterday I was finally fed up and forcefully asked "Why do you keep doing this?" He shut down and went for a walk. It's been strained cordiality ever since. ######

Response:
 NTA.

But I can see that as him being a chef maybe he’s missing his work a lot and finding it hard to get out of the habit of cooking a lot?

HOWEVER that being said.. you guys have been together since you were 16! He knows that this is what you are like. And he shut down when you asked him why he’s doing this? does he want you bigger? Is there something more weird going on? Me personally, i’d be telling him to back off or calmly explain that you’re making your own meals from now on as he obviously can’t respect your boundaries when it comes to food. ######


Prompt:
It takes 2 people 2 hours to open the store properly. My teammate wasn’t there at 9. I texted him at 9:15 asking if he was on his way. No answer. I went into solo mode in case he didn’t show up. He finally responds almost 2 hours later saying he was distraught over his childhood friend getting killed in a car crash. I told him to take care of himself & I’d see him next week. I’ve dealt with death of a loved one enough to have sympathy, which is why I didn’t fire him on the spot. He’s good at the job & easy to work with. On his next shift I had him sign a write up. He got upset, he shuts down when he’s mad & becomes passive aggressive. I wrote on the sheet that because of his track record I wouldn’t suggest dismissal. I told him it was policy to be fired but since I had authority to waive that, it was just a formality. I just had another employee do a no call/no show because she read the schedule wrong. I also gave her a second chance with just a write up because it inconvenienced no one but me. Different circumstances but I can’t write one up & not the other.

So, Am I the Asshole? He’s been sulky & talking shit about me. In my professional mind I know I had no choice but my heart hurts because of it. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Being upset doesn’t negate your ability to send a quick text saying you won’t be in. ######


Prompt:
Awhile back, I (18F) had a doctor's appointment regarding some issues about my period. I hadn't had a period for about year, and I was getting worried, because I'm not sexually active.

My mom went with me to the doctor's appointment and into the room with me for the exam. When the doctor was having me lie down to listen to my breathing, she told the doctor that "you know, she has a lot of stretch marks". I didn't bring anything up about that at all during the exam, and it was quiet when she brought it up.

It was really embarrassing, and I tried not to cry, because I didn't want to cause issues at the doctor's office.

It wasn't until yesterday that I brought it up during a talk with her. I told her that I thought it was very rude to bring something up like that and it was mean. I told her that I don't go to her doctor's appointments and tell them about her stretch marks. She told me that she thought that the doctor should know about it. I told her angrily that if I thought it was important I would tell the doctor or the doctor would ask me about it.

My dad was nearby while we were talking and said that I was being rude to my mom who had good intentions and that I shouldn't have said that to her and should also apologize. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

And I find it incredibly weird and a bit creepy that, at 18yo, your mother still goes into the room with you for an exam. Unless my kids specifically requested me, I stopped doing that about age 12.

Also...why the hell would she know about your stretch marks? Doesn't she give you any privacy at all??? ######


Prompt:
Basically I went out on my lunch break and left my AirPods on my desk, keep in mind I work in a very small office with 7 other people who I trust.

When I got back to my desk I looked for my AirPods and I was certain I’d left them on my mouse pad as I always do I checked my draws and on the floor in case I’d knocked them down without noticing, meanwhile my co worker walks over and asks if I was okay and I tell them I was just looking for my AirPods and then they walked off.

15 mins later the same coworker comes up to me and puts my AirPods on my desk and says I shouldn’t leave things like that around and says he did it to teach me a lesson.

I snapped and told him not to take my stuff again, I’m not sure if I over reacted but I don’t like my stuff being taken to “teach me a lesson”

AITA ######

Response:
 NTA.

ALSO report them to your boss so they cut they shit. I wonder how many other times he’s taught a lesson. ######


Prompt:
At my local grocery store, there are parking spots designated for pregnant/ new moms and veterans.

I’m about 32 weeks pregnant with twins, or 7 months for those of you who don’t speak pregnant. I had to go to the grocery store and as I was pulling up, I noticed one of those spots open and took it. As I was getting out of my car another car pulled up and told me I couldn’t park there because it was for veterans. I said it was for pregnant women and veterans, and I was one of those 2 so I could park there. Guy in the car essentially said I didn’t need to park there and he deserved it because he was a vet. He then pointed out some parking spots close by and told me to park there. I said I was already parked, out of my car and well within my right to park in a spot designated for both of us, and it wasn’t my fault I got to it first. I gestured to the parking spots he did and said he could park there, and walked around his car to enter the store. As I was walking in, a guy who heard the interaction told me I should have just moved and that he fought for our country, I could have given up the spot, and when I walked by the man from the car he said I was very rude.

I called my mom on the way home from the grocery store to tell her about the weird experience, and she agreed that I should have just moved, and now I kind of feel like a dick.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

All respect to vets, but you are currently 7 months pregnant with TWINS, likely with swollen ankles and back pain. If he was able-bodied I believe you deserved that parking spot.

Either way, you were already parked and out of your car while he was perfectly capable of parking in one of the nearby spots. ######


Prompt:
I moved into an apartment on the ground floor of a house which is split up into three apartments. The house next door is owned by a couple with several kids.

The woman who lives there has a temper... A few times, when I've been hanging out with friends in the back yard, she's yelled at us over stuff. Playing music with cusses where her kids can hear, being too "slutty" with each other, which was awkward... Etc.

As far as I can tell she never does this in front of her husband or kids. Her husband isn't home often, it seems.

Then, a while later, I was out getting my mail when four people walked by, the neighbor lady, her husband, and two older people who I think were either her parents or her husband's parents.

The husband asked me if I knew there was water leaking from the hose in the front yard of my house. He seemed friendly and like he was trying to be helpful.

I said I hadn't known, maybe the maintenance guy left it on.

But then I got a really weird feeling about how the woman that has said so much nasty stuff was standing with her family acting really chill in front of them.

I said "Hey, excuse me, aren't you the lady who's called my friends and I sluts, (homophobic slur), and (c-words) ? I was hoping to talk to you at a calmer moment.

She said no right away.

I then, knowing full well that she was that lady, said "Oh sorry, perhaps I'm confused. There's a lady who lives in that house, mid 40s, heavyset with chin length brown hair, smokes out back every night, who's said all those things and more, and I really don't appreciate it. Do you have a sister? A roommate?"

She cut me off and said maybe it's better I leave, and so I did. I heard fighting from that house that night and I think it was because of what I said, her husband and the older couple seemed shocked by some of it.

AITA for calling my neighbor out on front of her family? ######

Response:
 NTA.

1. Your neighbor could’ve just as easily approached you calmly and asked you to stop whatever you were doing. She did not need to resort to homophobic slurs and name calling.

2. You approached her respectfully while putting her in her place. It’s funny how she never says any of this stuff when anyone else is around to hear her, but the second you try to call her out she denies it. If she can’t handle owning her hateful words in front of her family, that sounds like a her problem.

3. While you *could* have waited for a more private moment, she was very open about her attitude toward you and your friends from the get-go. She probably thought you’d never confront her. ######


Prompt:
We are unemployed due to COVID-19 and trying to save and budget our money.

My girlfriend just excitedly told me she just spent over $300 in house plants for a house we rent expecting me to be happy as well. Needless to say, I got a bit angry and told her that it was a really dumb financial decision at this time.

Now she is mad at me and is calling me a dick for not being excited as well.

Am I the asshole?

Edit because people are asking: we have been in a 10 year committed relationship and share all of our finances. ######

Response:
 NTA.

$300 for plants during this difficult time is irresponsible esp being unemployed. You have every right to be upset. I would’ve returned it for a refund. ######


Prompt:
Some context: I have a strict "no lending" policy on money, I won't let anyone starve, but I'd rather buy you lunch rather than give you the money. It's something my parents taught me and it helps to weed out who's just lying to get a fix of whatever.

Due to lay-offs, we are all struggling, but I have a savings account with some emergency money. I've literally starved to be able to put some money aside every month, and it's not much, but it's something to fall back on.

Last month, one of the guys I work with started sending me texts asking for money. I said no, he asked someone else and got it so I didn't feel too bad about it. This month, as soon as we got paid, he started the texts again, and again, I said no. I know he's good for it, I'm sure by the end of the month he would pay me back and we're friends. I even pay for drinks when we go out because I know he doesn't have much.

Here's the thing though. I work 12/14 hour shifts. I work myself to the bone to be able to save up and I don't spend money on myself, aside for bare necessities. And this guy, even though he's a good worker, doesn't. He misses work half of the week, gets in late and, even though his schedule is always the same, he sends a text everyday asking what time he gets in, even on my days off.

Now, there are a lot of reasons why I shouldn't lend him money, he gets financial aid from the government and wastes it all on weed, he mooches of other people for places to crash, food and alcohol and takes stuff from work to take to his dealer to pay for more weed.

But none of that matters to me. Even if the money was for something important, what really makes this a solid No is the fact that if he just showed up for work he would have money for his stuff. And even though I could lend him some bucks, why should I have to? I do feel bad for him, and in my mind I keep arguing with myself about it, so I want to know, am I being an asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>I have a strict "no lending" policy on money

That's it, that's all you have to say. All the rest are justifications for not doing it, but you don't owe anyone any explanations, especially not under current circumstances. ######


Prompt:
Back story: my cousin is 13 and has some learning delays. She cant. Be left alone due to her have a very childlike mindset and get into things.

I was told by my grand parents (who I live with when not at school) that my cousin would be coming to live with us over the summer. Now I normally have no problem with her visiting. However, I have 3 jobs lined up and plan in working basically 24/7 to save up for bills, my rent for my apartment next year, insurance and for school. With my cousin being there id be relied on to babysit. And in my family you dont get paid to babysit family. It would be extremely hard to work, sleep and babysit all at the same time. Also i will be giving up 90% of my room. I have a very small room as is. My twin bed takes up over 50% of it. I love my cousin and i know her mom is kind of a jerk and doesn't take the best care of her but idk what else to do. Ive talked to my grandparents about it and even they seem hesitant. However, they keep saying ill have to figure it out and help because they cant do everything. I feel like im putting my financial stability at risk just so my aunt can get a break from her kid. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>However, they keep saying ill have to figure it out and help because they cant do everything.

Translation: "We know this is going to screw you over because it is literally impossible to have you take care of your cousin while you work 3 jobs. However, we do not want to acknowledge this fact openly because it would mean also accepting that we are metaphorically setting you on fire to make us feel less guilty about the crap job our daughter is doing as a a parent for her own kid."

Your grandparents are being assholes if they think there are more than 24 hours in the day or if they think you should be sacrificing your sleep/health to take care of your cousin. I would make a literal schedule, with each hour of the week blocked off with things such as time for sleep, shower/food, job 1, 2 and 3 (don't forget travel time, and bonus points if its color coded. Take it your grandparents and ask them what are hours of the day are remaiming to babysit. My guess that there really isn't any time with 3 jobs. Force them to openly acknowledge what they are making you sacrifice with this shit deal.

WTF is with these older adults parentifying the younger generation? ######


Prompt:
I am on a family vacation to my boyfriends hometown so that our baby can meet his side of the family. I have been doing most of the child care as my bf has been working, partying with his fam until 4 or 5 am, and sleeping in till noon when not working..he has been pretty out of sync with me and the baby this whole week and it has been a bit rough for me to be honest.

I love his family but they are big partiers and I am not ...especially now that I am an exhausted new mom.

Tonight I wasn't feeling well so I was still up at midnight and he came in to say that instead of partying just out front like normal (the family all have houses pretty close by) he was going to a party offsite because he wanted to be able to make more noise. I asked him to stay (vivid concerns about the other party but also because I dont want to be here alone).  He said everything would be fine and I shouldn't worry. He brought me the car keys in case I need to leave for any reason. He said he would be home in 2 hours but now it has been 4.

I keep hearing noises and feel un settled in the house. It is big and old and his family has been telling me all week how it is haunted. My baby has been waking up screaming a lot here but it didnt bother me as much until being left alone here.

AITA in asking him not to go and for being mad he went and now jas stayed out longer than promised? I  know partying and seeing his family is important to him, but due to work he gets out here for a weekend every month and parties regularly. He also parties a lot at home so it isn't like this is his only chance. ######

Response:
 NTA.

>he wanted to be able to make more noise

Your SO needs to grow up, and step up. He can't live like a baby now that he has one. ######


Prompt:
As you can guess from the title, this is an unbelievably stupid argument I’m having with one of my friends.

I am (16F). I’m currently doing all my schoolwork at home and I did all my stuff on time and I’ve been relaxing this weekend. One of the pieces this week we had to do this week was a small essay for my history class as we’ve just been studying the slave trade.

The subject of it is really fascinating to me and it’s led to conversations in my friend group about race. The friend this post is about is Frank (16M). He is mixed race, his parents are black and white. He had some stories about how some of his ancestors were in the slave trade. No issue talking about it because I think it’s important.

We were talking on a zoom call about race. He talked a lot about black people and I started talking about my background. My mom is white American and my dad is Mexican. He calls himself brown and ive inherited most of his dark features and I feel I’m mixed race. I happened to say that to Frank whilst we were talking about race and he got really mad at me.

He said I didn’t get to call myself mixed race because I’m not in his eyes. He then accused me of being racist and attempting to whitewash the struggles his people have gone through. I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong but he called me an inconsiderate AH and told me not to talk to him again until I “educate” myself on what race is.

It really upset me and I went crying to my dad. He said that technically I wasn’t wrong, I am mixed as my dad isn’t white. He said Frank is probably just upset due to the history period we’re studying and he’s got very heated about it. I think maybe I shouldn’t have said I was mixed race to Frank.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>he called me an inconsiderate AH and told me not to talk to him again until I “educate” myself on what race is.

What does Frank think "race" is? It's not just colour. You can be light brown or even various shades of beige, with no African heritage, and still be mixed race. And Mexicans have faced plenty of racism. ######


Prompt:
I (27F) work full-time and my husband (28M) is a stay at home partner. That means I'm the breadwinner in our relationship, but that's fine. It's a role we're both comfortable with me in and I hate, hate, **hate** chores anyway.
Recently my father-in-law has been making me uncomfortable with his comments. FIL has a habit of making 'jokes' about things my boyfriend has done around the house. He will often comment on my SO's FB posts and pictures with comments like 'another day sweeping the floors?' and calling him a 'domesticated maid'.
We recently had them over for dinner and my husband did an amazing job prepping the house and slow cooking the food. I didn't help out at all, since I was at work all day and I arrived home to him having done everything.
When my FIL found out my husband did the cooking, he straight out asked why I hadn't helped. When I told him I'd been at work, he told me that he would never let his wife, my SO's mother, host a dinner party entirely by herself and would at least prepare a side. The big difference between my FIL/MIL and me/my SO is that his parents both worked full time, which isn't our situation. My FIL looked at my SO and told him 'you know you don't have to live like this'.
Here's where I might be TA. I'd had enough and snapped at him that our situations were very different. And I said that I actually didn't appreciate his attitude to my husband's lifestyle and he had no right to criticise either of us when we're both happy in our choices.
As you can expect, it didn't go well. My in-laws left early and things have been weird since. My husband says that he wishes I'd hadn't spoken up and next time to let him deal with it. But I struggle to agree since he always lets his father walk all over him and sometimes his father is criticising me too.

AITA for standing up for me and my husband against my father-in-law? ######

Response:
 NTA.

>'you know you don't have to live like this'.

That implies you are forcing him into this life. If your husband wasn't going to defend the both of you, someone had to. ######


Prompt:
Hi. So.

My full name is Elizabeth. I have gone by Elizabeth since I was very small. Of course, throughout the course of my life, people have wanted to shorten it. I have no issue with most nicknames so it doesnt bother me, though I do prefer the full version.

There is one nickname that bothers me, though, and that nickname is Liz.

I HATE that nickname. I'm okay with Lizzy, Ellie, Eliza, Lily, Tess, Libby, any of the million and one nicknames that go with Elizabeth, but I cant STAND LIZ. The reason why is a whole other story.

And everyone, of course, calls me Liz and refuses to stop. Even one of my best friends calls me Liz. I've asked her multiple times to quit, both politely and less politely. She just does it out of habit at this point.

Some of my coworkers recently caught wind of the fact that I hate being called Liz. So of course, the freaking nickname is all they refer to me as. They think its funny.

I know it's just teasing and maybe I'm getting a little too upset, but this is a lifelong annoyance. It's not that hard to use literally any other nickname except for Liz. It's not that hard to just use the full version. I dont feel like I'm asking that much.

I've tried to laugh it off and politely correct them but it never changes. Some people have told me to just ignore them until they call me by my name but I feel like that's really rude and besides this, we are on good terms.

So now I turn to strangers on the Internet. WIBTA if I ignored my coworkers calling me until they call me literally anything other than Liz? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Simply ignore them and if they call you out for not answering to Liz simply say “Oh, well how am I supposed to know that you were talking to me? That’s not my name.” ######


Prompt:
I live with a sibling, we have been roommates for a while. Their luggage broke down years ago, not long before I bought a set for myself for a little over a $110.  Since then every time they go out of town they insist on using mine. I personally don't use them often whereas they go out of town a several times a year.

I don't like lending out my luggage in general because I know luggage breaks down the more the suitcases are used. Plus whatever unexpected things may happen beyond the person's control. The set itself was cheap altogether, which makes makes me think they aren't the best of quality in the first place and  therefore aren't expected to last long.

I bought the set so that I'd always have them incase I needed them, which sometimes is unexpected. The fact that another person is putting all the miles on something I bought and could wear or break down before I even get my money's worth out of them doesn't sit well with me.

As for the sibling, we share a lot of mutual stuff as "house stuff" but luggage has never been one of them.

AITA for putting my foot down and telling them they can't use luggage on this trip and to get their own. ######

Response:
 NTA.

Once, sure.

Twice, maybe.

Three times, you're not a department store and they need to get their own luggage. ######


Prompt:
So growing up my parents and I didn't really have the best relationship. Nothing too bad - they weren't abusive or anything, just extremely emotionally distant. I couldn't talk to them about anything - crushes, heartbreaks, bullying - I had to deal with that all on my own. Luckily I had a great group of friends to lean back on.

Now after graduating, I went off to college (student loans, mind you - my parents believe in letting me pay my own way even though they are more than affluent enough to have helped me out. Which is fine, debt sucks, but at least I'm in control of my own finances). It was great, I was doing well academically, and had a part time job as well.

Now here's the part where I might be an asshole. When I went back home during semester breaks, my parents asked me to pay rent. Lower than market rate, but still substantial for a student like me. I didn't argue, bit my tongue and went with it. All the free time I had went into jobs and chores. I then tried talking to them about it - they said if I wanted to live in their house, I'll have to contribute, and of course that contribution took literally all my time. I didn't really complain after that, but I vowed to myself to completely go my own way once I graduate and get into a position to support myself.

And I did. After I graduated, and landed a job, I went no contact with them and haven't spoken to them in over a decade. They've reached out multiple times over the years but I've always refused. I have my friends, I have a girl I'm going to marry. My own family. Like an actual family.

Why exactly should I get into touch with them? They weren't interesting in being parents, and now I no longer want to be their kid. Simple. Right?

My fiance disagrees. She says I should make an effort to communicate.

So. AITA for not doing so? ######

Response:
 NTA.

My parents did the same thing. I paid rent from the time I was 13 when I got my first (under the table) job. When I turned 18, I was expected to move out. College was completely my responsibility. When I came home on break, I was expected to pay rent AND do household chores. After my first semester, I didn't go home for break any more. I simply stopped communicating with them.

I look at it this way. They set the terms for the kind of relationship they wanted to have with me. They did it while I was still a child, and dependent on them. There is absolutely no reason to change that relationship simply because...

They did reach out to me occasionally over the years. Every time it was because they wanted something from me. If I gave it to them, they went back to radio silence.

And one bit of advice...get over the anger. It's nothing more than another link to them. You don't need it. They won't see it. ######


Prompt:
Hi everybody,

I live in Germany (so please excuse my grammer and vocab) and here it is forbidden by the law to purchase, use or be in posession of fireworks from the 01.05 to the 28.12 of the year.

Across the street there is an american family living, and on July the 4th they decided to shoot some fireworks. Since it is summer, darkness doesnt fall till around 22:00 (11pm). Around that time my neighborus started shooting of fireworks. I dont mind them having their celebration, but after 45 minutes of ongoing firework (around 1 rocket/minute) i called the police on them. In Germany we have a law which regulates the "Nachtruhe" (Nightrest-time). It states that after 22:00 (10pm) you are not allowed to listen to loud music/tv.

I myself sleep from 10 pm to 6am every day. So i was disturbed in my "Nachtruhe" and woken up by my fellow american neighbours. At first i did not thought anything of it, but since i was unable to sleep and neither did they tell us about them planning to be loud past 22:00 at all. nor did they tell us till when they are going to shoot of fireworks i called the police after 45 minutes (I hoenestly wouldnt care if they were loud for 10 minutes and than got inside, but it is a dick move to make noise for >45 minutes).

I dont know any of them personally/dont have their phonenumber and didnt want to get dressed just to get over to their house to talk to them. Tbh i didnt want to talk to them at all, because it is just an a-hole move to be that loud at that time on a regular german day.

They now have to pay a fine for being too loud and for the illegal posession and usage of fireworks which is around 300€. (By German Standards this is a really really cheap fine, it could have easily been 10.000€).

&#x200B;

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA.

If they are living in Germany, then they need to abide by German laws. There are other ways to celebrate the fourth of July that wouldn't entail breaking local laws. ######


Prompt:
I’m a young, single father of two boys (from two different woman if that’s relevant). My older (elementary school age) son decided that since It’s on me I work twice as hard at being a parent. He wanted to honour me today for all I do, so I let him, he picked out a cookie cake for me, made me a card with his brother and help make breakfast with me this morning.

I posted a picture of what they did for me on Facebook. I was surprised at the amount of Negative messages I got from people about my post. Several people told me that it was rude to make this day about me when I already have Father’s Day to celebrate.

Am I the asshole for letting my kids do something special for me today? ######

Response:
 NTA.

Haters gonna hate.

I'm the child of a single father, and you bet he got a mother's day card and present every year from me. He did twice the work, he gets twice the credit.

People always want to be salty when thinking something belongs exclusively to them- being a parent with a partner is already a full time job. You're doing both jobs on your own.

Happy mother's day! ######


Prompt:
For context, I’m 24 and live on my own.

My little brother Miles is 16 and living with our mom and stepdad.

Miles has had problems in the home, including yelling with his stepdad and mom.

From what miles has told me, his stepdad is verbally abusive to him including telling him that he’s not his real son and that he should get a job and move out as soon as possible.

I was talking to my brother yesterday and he told me that he is so tired of living there and that he wishes he could live with me. (We can bubble with people here now because of Covid).

Apparently our mom heard him saying that he wants to come live with me because she got upset with him and called me saying that he could never come live with me because I’m “irresponsible” and not his “real parent.”

I told her that I’ve been more of a dad than our real dad (he’s in prison) or his stepdad ever has been and she told me that I’m on thin ice and I have to watch my step or I’ll never see him again.

I’m conflicted. I know I’m not his parent but I honestly would take him in. His smart and deserves a good life but at the same time I’m not his parent and I know my mom does love him but she makes bad choices in men.

So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. "You'll never see him again." LOL. Good luck with that, mom. The kid is 16 not 6. Worst case scenario you'd see him again in a year and some change when he turns 18 and he gets kicked the curb by his super awesome father figure. Counter that threat with "you'll never see me again". ######


Prompt:
So I’m ¼ Japanese and ¾ British/French/German. My husband is Scottish/British. We’re expecting our first daughter together early fall and recently got into an impasse about names.

I wanted my daughter’s middle name to be my Japanese grandmother’s name - Miyoko. Not only did I think the name was beautiful and flowed really nicely with the first name we have chosen for her, I wanted to honour my grandmother, who I had a very close relationship but sadly passed away three years ago. She was the one who taught me a bit of Japanese and how to cook her family recipes, I’m very proud of this part of my heritage and intend to pass this along to my daughter.

However, my husband is saying that naming our daughter, who will very likely not look Japanese is culture appropriation. (I disagree with culture appropriation because our daughter will be part Japanese, even though it’s only ⅛  - maybe I’m wrong so please correct me if I am!) Also, he said it would be cruel to give her such a foreign sounding name when she clearly won’t look the part and perhaps other kids might make fun of her for that.

Now, the last thing I want is to give my daughter a name where she would have a hard time with. But at the same time, I genuinely don’t feel like it’s a problem, considering how I think it’s a beautiful name with a significant meaning. It shows off part of her heritage and honours her great grandmother. Also, it’s going to be her middle name so it’s not like that’s what she’ll be referred to on a daily basis. Am I in the wrong here? ######

Response:
 NTA. "Why do you have a Japanese middle name? You don't look Japanese"

"It was my great-grandmothers name who my mum really loved"

"Oh, fair enough then"

Also if someone was to ask her this, they would have to be relatively close to her anyway, to not only know her middle name, but then question it ######


Prompt:
Throwaway.

So I proposed to my girlfriend beginning of this year. We originally planned to get married this September, but that has obviously been pushed back to next year.

My sister also got engaged last year and her and her fiancé were 100% set to have an April wedding before the pandemic shut everything down. However tragedy struck and her fiancé suddenly passed away this June (Covid death). It has been an extremely tough time for all of us in the family. My sister has been hospitalized on and off for harmful thoughts over the past month and we are all doing our best to support her.

Anyways, now I am fighting with my fiancée because I’m “putting my foot down” so to speak on her latest decision to change our wedding venue to where my sister originally planned hers. My sister had planned to have her wedding at a famous country estate/mansion near where we live.

My fiancée recently told me that she contacted the estate out of curiosity and found out they have openings early next year so she now wants to have our wedding there instead. She visited the place and fell in love and says it’s actually her dream venue. I basically said absolutely not, are you insane? That would be incredibly traumatic for everyone in my family (esp my mom and sisters who already helped my sister and BIL plan their wedding at that exact location).

My fiancée won’t budge and she’s furious I’m not seeing things from her side. She says our wedding could be like a “beautiful tribute” to my sister’s loss but I don’t think anyone would see it that way. More than likely people will think we stole my sister’s wedding ideas and are forcing her to attend out of cruelty. AITA for telling my fiancée her dream venue is an absolute no-go? ######

Response:
 NTA. "Tribute of trauma" please keep your stance on this. Its incredibly cruel to your sister . normally id say no one owns a venue, but your circumstances are different. Shit its like your fiance asked for your sisters wedding dress and said "not like your going to use it anymore" shes being extremely inconsiderate

Its very kind of you to keep your sister in mind during all of this as im sure its very hard for her. My condolences to her and his family. ######


Prompt:
 I'm (20M) in the market for a new TV, the 32 inch Sharp TV I have still runs fine but I want something bigger, I have my eyes on a 65 inch LG Smart TV, I saved up for it and had plans to buy it but my mom told me that if I bought a TV when I already have a perfectly working TV then I'd have to put it in the living room so that everyone (my parents and sibs) can enjoy it.

She said that it was selfish and that I don't need a TV that big for my room especially when I already have one. I said fine and a couple weeks passed and she asked me when I'm buying the TV, I told her that I'm not buying one anymore and she asked why and I said there's no point for me to spend my hard-earned money for a TV that I'm not even allowed to put in my own room.

She went on a tirade about how I'm the most selfish person in the world and that I was selfish to buy a TV in the first place with the intention of putting it in my room and that now the only reason I'm not buying the TV is because I don't want to share.

AITA? I don't know what I did wrong. What's the point of me buying a huge TV when I can't even fully benefit it? ######

Response: NTA. "Mom, you raised me right, I'm thinking more long-term and I've decided to use that money towards getting my own place instead." ######


Prompt:
Last week my in-laws and a few other family members decided to hold an intervention for my husband without my knowledge. They invited themselves over for tea and as soon as they were alone with my husband they started the intervention.

Except this intervention was for his "gaming addiction". They essentially made a mockery of interventions and it looked like some sketch from a comedy channel. They talked about how bad video games are and how my husband is being desensitized to violence.

My teenage daughter has struggled with substance abuse in the past and has had an intervention for it. The whole situation upset my daughter and she left the house to go stay with a friend for some time.

I then went and broke up their "intervention" and told them to be more sensitive towards my daughter. After they left my husband got upset and said I can't kick people out like that. He said it was just a joke and I need to calm down.

I said it clearly wasn't very funny because our daughter doesn't even want to be here for a few days. AITA for reacting like this. ######

Response: NTA. "Just a joke" is such a poor defense for being inconsiderate towards someone's feelings. Dude should be less calm about mocking his own daughters problems. ######


Prompt:
My friend (23F), who we’ll call S, and I (21F) both lost our jobs at the same company due to COVID-19. Since we both graduated last December, we were thinking of applying to grad school because the job market stinks right now. We both really like this one super competitive program and want to apply, but S wants me to wait to apply until the next round of applications because she thinks if we apply in the same round that I’ll get accepted over her.

To be clear, the applications opened Sep. 1st of last year and this is already the third deadline (May 1st). After that, it’s rolling acceptance based on open spots. This is a program I had looked at for months during my last semester in college but ultimately didn’t apply to since I got my dream job offer.

She thinks she has ‘dibs’ because she went to college in the same state as this program and knows a lot of professors there. I think if she already knows people there and I don’t that she has an edge over me anyway so I need to apply as soon as possible to be competitive since they’ve already accepted students in earlier application rounds. She also told me that they are waiving GRE/GMAT scores because of the virus and when I asked her to forward that information to me she said she ‘didn’t want me to have that information because then I would apply straight away’.

I don’t want to lose my friendship with her over this but I also don’t want to miss the opportunity to be eligible for this graduate program. So, AITA?

(Posting on mobile, sorry if the formatting is bad) ######

Response:
 NTA. "Dibs" is not how application cycles work. If she has a strong application, she'll get in. Same with you. If she's prepared to lose your friendship over this, I'd question how strong your friendship was to begin with.

Good luck with grad school OP. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because some of my cousins might recognize the situation.

I won't mince words: I'm (22F) the product of an affair. My father comes from a wealthy family and is a businessman in Asia, and my mother used to be a flight attendant in the 90s. My dad has always been there when I was growing up, even if my mom and I live in the US, and has provided for us financially. His “real” family knows about me: he and his wife “Sarah” got married out of business convenience and she’s never resented me or made me feel bad in any way. I’ve always respected her for letting me have a relationship with my older brothers, and letting me come with their family on summer vacations. She even sent our family flowers when my mom got married a few years ago. Sadly Sarah passed away from cancer a few months ago. It’s been rough on my dad and brothers, she was a wonderful, kind woman and I miss her a lot.

Sarah was very, very wealthy and left my brothers a significant inheritance. Apparently she also left me something in her will: a few thousand dollars. I burst into tears when my brothers called me with the news, I didn’t expect her to even acknowledge me in any way as her husband’s bastard child even if we had a good relationship. The problem is my family: my uncles and grandma think that I shouldn’t accept the money because I’m “not family.” My brothers have been saying that over in their country, Sarah’s family is also contesting the will to remove me because I’m not her daughter or related to her in any way. I’ve been feeling pressured to not accept the money even if my dad and brothers say I have every right to accept it. AITA for thinking about taking my inheritance? ######

Response:
 NTA. *She wanted you to have it.*

Why should other people, even family, have a greater say in what she does with her money than her?

If she were alive, is this what she would have wanted? Clearly not. She put it in writing!

Again, respect her wishes. ######


Prompt:
If I do not shower in the morning, my husband begins making comments that I should do so, starting in late morning/afternoon.

I have a full time job, and I usually shower 7 days a week. I generally look nice. Every so often (once a month), I will skip a Saturday or, even more rarely, a week day.

Now, this fight kicked off because I didn’t shower yesterday and haven’t yet today...but I woke up late and am just lazing (edit: I have full plans to shower today) because I worked late last night, we’re obviously not going out. I am wearing deodorant and brushed my teeth. Husband insists more than 24 hours without a shower is gross, and if you’re worried about your skin, wear lotion. He says most people agree with this.

I say it’s unreasonable to expect me to cater to this somewhat irrational expectation.

So, AITA?

Tl:dr: AITA for thinking it’s not gross to skip a day of showering, and being unwilling to give up an odd unshowered day to placate my husband? ######

Response: NTA. [There's a chart for that.](http://i.imgur.com/XstAjrH.jpg) A lot of people shower every day, but more people skip a day every so often. I shower about 5-6 days a week, but on days that I stayed home and didn't do anything to get dirty or sweaty, I don't see a reason to waste the water. ######


Prompt:
Okay so hear me out, I know that the title makes me seem straight up like an asshole but I have my reasons.

I live in a very close nit neighbourhood in the UK mostly made up of terrace houses, I live on the end of the street and only have one next door neighbour, and they are neighbours from hell. When we moved in 10 years ago, within days we had been told to "fuck off back to our own country" (we're british, so idk), they called the RSPCA on us because our cat kept using their front garden as a litter box while they were working on it, it was mostly sand, and every time I saw her doing this I cleaned it up and apologised, accused my younger brothers of egging their house (they did have eggs on their patio but upon later inspection they found out they were pigeon eggs that had fallen from a nest in their roof but they never got an apology) and various other things, we usually get a knock on the door by the police every now and then for some bullshit complaint.

But their favourite one is to start a BBQ or Bonfire every single time we put washing outside to dry.

My solution to this issue is to play very loud (and slightly offensive) music right before I plan to hang it outside so they leave for the day (I haven't done this since lockdown because I don't think it would be fair considering the virus)

Ive tried being civil and asking them not to start fires right as I hang my washing and this has been occurring for 10 years straight but I got told to go fuck myself because they can do what they want when they want.

I could technically dry my clothes in the dryer inside but in the summer in an old house with no AC and poor ventilation it gets almost impossible to breathe.

But I have to know Aita? ######

Response: NTA. [Here's a tune for next time should you need it.](https://youtu.be/jg9JnTr1SfY) ######


Prompt:
My wife will sometimes bring her Mom over to my family's events, sometimes the more intimate ones like the Holidays, Mother/Father's Day, you get the idea with more intimate events like that. Sometimes I am told by her the day of or the night before that she has invited her Mom already without consulting with me. So when we'd go over to one of my siblings house they are surprised to see my MIL show up. After an event last year, one of my siblings called me to say that, they do love my MIL and enjoy her company, just if we can refrain from bringing her to the more intimate events so that it's just immediate family. However other events like my nieces/nephews birthdays, bbq, outdoor events are fine. In a sense I get what my siblings are saying, as sometimes I do just want immediate family at events, and this includes with my wife's family as well. I don't know if you all think that way as well. I spoke to my wife about this, about how we should just do more immediate family at those more intimate events and she went quiet, I also brought up how it would be the same situation with her family that I do just want immediate family at more intimate events. And she got upset that my siblings seem like that don't want her at family events even after they've said she's family. A side note here, in my culture, it's polite to say to guest or non-immediate family that they are invited and always welcome, but typically speaking it's just courtesy. My wife took it to heart as we are her mom's only immediate family in town as her brother does not live in the same city as her mom. The next morning she was upset with me as well for not taking her side or defending her for bringing her Mom to those events. It's just a cause a small friction between my wife and siblings. So Reddit, a
AITA for not defending my wife? ######

Response: NTA.  Your wife and her mom need to respect your family's boundaries.  The boundaries are not unreasonable. ######


Prompt:
A little backstory:
My sister and I rent a three story house with 5 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. When we looked at the house, it was agreed that the 3rd story would be mine as I'm paying half the rent and utilities, and was witnessed by my mother and her son. I'm a very anxious person and an introvert, so the 3rd story was perfect for me. My sister, her daughter, and her son have the three bedrooms on the 2nd story.

My nephew is now 18, attending college, and lives on campus. My sister arbitrarily decided that he should move his bedroom to the 3rd story for his summer vacation and use his room for storage (which is pointless because she doesn't have anything to store). More than likely she'll rent out his room, like she's done before.

I don't want to give up my quiet safe space and my grown nephew doesn't want to move upstairs with me. She's the only one who wants this and doesn't care that I pay half the bills and purchase the majority of the household supplies and food. Plus, when my nephew does visit, he doesn't even sleep in his room, he hooks his xbox to the livingroom T.V. and sleeps on the couch (his choice). He also has his own bedroom at my mothers house.

So, am I wrong for not wanting to give up the space that I pay for and giving up my needs for my sisters wants? ######

Response: NTA.  Your sister is a huge asshole. You are paying half the rent, the majority of food and bills. for four people living in one house. You not only should have the third floor to yourself, but if she rents any rooms she should give you half, minimum. ######


Prompt:
I have a trainwreck sister. She has one daughter who is 13. They live in a small house. My sister does not work and refuses to get a job. She's on welfare and I occasionally buy them groceries, She's fucked up from years and years of meth. My niece was turning into my sister 2.0 and was recently taken away and is now in foster care. Too many calls to the cops and CPS visits.

My sister is devastated. She's been crying and sunk into depression. Her daughter refuses to speak with her. The plan is for her to live with her (loser) father. I felt bad for my sister and dropped off some bagels and cream cheese. She spent about 20 minutes saying that she was a horrible mother, her daughter hates her, etc. I could tell she was waiting for me to assure her that it was untrue, but I didn't because it's true - my sister is a horrible mother and her daughter does hate her for good reason.

I finally couldn't hold it in any longer and asked her why she was even sad? Nothing good was ever going to come from her place and her daughter was clearly on the wrong path. Foster care is better than living in what she was living in.

I could tell that it hurt her, but I was keeping it real. ######

Response: NTA.  Your sister doesn’t need to be coddled about the situation if it was bad enough that her daughter was removed. ######


Prompt:
I'll try to keep it short:

My husband (28M) and I (26F) have been trying to get pregnant for about a year. About a week before Father's day, I took a pregnancy test, because I started having symptoms. It tested positive. But just to be sure, I also went to see a professional that also confirmed it. By now, it was about two days before Father's day, so I decided to wait and tell my husband on Father's day, thinking nothing of it. When I did tell him, he was overjoyed and we were both really happy- until he asked me how long I knew.

When I told him I knew for about a week, he got really irritated and became incredibly snappy, saying that I should've told him as soon as I knew. I got a little annoyed and asked why it was such a problem that I waited a little bit, it's not like it was a couple of weeks, it was literally two days. I thought it would be a nice surprise, especially since it's on a day that it's celebrated for. Now, it's been a few days since the argument and I'm not sure how to feel, but I kinda feel as if he ruined a day that was supposed to be special for the both of us. AITA for not telling him as soon as I knew? ######

Response: NTA.  Your reasoning makes total sense and was a sweet intended gesture.  Sorry he didn’t receive it as such. ######


Prompt:
TW: drug use

My mom(52F) got arrest Friday for possession of a controlled substance(herion) and paraphernalia(needles) and I refuse to bail her out again. I just sent her to rehab back in October and I’m tired of wasting time and money on her. She hasn’t talked to me since Monday when I told her I’m not going to get her out of this situation. Am I the Asshole? ######

Response: NTA.  Your mother has a problem.  If you bail her out, you are enabling her.  You need to sit back and let her hit rock bottom. ######


Prompt:
I’m a 20 year old university student getting through the pandemic and staying away from home because of the travel restrictions.  My mom has been reading the parent pages for my university and came across another parent who apparently wrote repeatedly about how depressed/lonely her daughter is.  My mom has hounded me repeatedly to let her mom “connect” us but I refuse.  I can only imagine how humiliated I would feel if my parent had publicly posted about my mental state and tried to find strangers to talk to me out of pity.  As far as I can tell, this person isn’t reaching out to any university pages themselves and considering how we are all quarantined, me being in the same city as her at the moment doesn’t mean I could even hang out with her.  My mom says I have no empathy for other people but I also don’t feel like I’m in a good enough  mental state to try to give support to other people when I can’t even give it to myself right now.

tl;dr I don’t want to be “pity” friend to an adult whose mother is posting about her on Facebook. ######

Response: NTA.  Your mom sounds like a meddling busy body who could spend HER time directly helping people rather than reading parent university pages (seriously, do other parents of 20yos actually do this?) and trying to control you. ######


Prompt:
I’ll make this short. The father of my children went to prison a few years ago.

My children are 9m and 12f. He sometimes writes to them but not very easy often. After a while I found out that their father says some pretty fu.ked up things in his letters. It messed with my kids especially my son as he started to think I set up his father to keep him away from the kids.

I have since decided to read the letters my son gets first and then decide whether they are appropriate or not. My daughter always had me read her letters first anyway because she’s old enough to see through the games.

After a series of letters that were absolutely horrible I decided to let their father know that it was pointless and that I’m not letting my son read them anyway. He lost it and said what I’m doing is illegal and he’ll sue.

I know I’m possibly overstepping but i just want to protect my children. ######

Response: NTA.  Your job is to protect them.  Keep doing it. ######


Prompt:
I live with my girlfriend and her roommate, we’re going to get our own place when her lease is up. We like to shower together, not just for sex, but it’s intimate and fun to do sometimes. We probably shower together twice a week.

Her roommate asked me to stop yesterday because it’s annoying to her. She has her own bathroom with her own shower so I don’t see how it could be annoying. I asked why and she said it’s gross that she knows we’re together like that and it should be confined to the bedroom.

I told her I’d talk to my girlfriend and my girlfriend thinks we shouldn’t stop. Would we be assholes if we continue? ######

Response: NTA.  Your girlfriend's roommate needs to mind her own business.  She's just jealous. ######


Prompt:
I am 22 and a dude, my coworker who is retiring is 67 and a woman. I’ve been working for my current company for around eight months now, she’s done such a great job of mentoring me and giving me the tools, and the mentality, to succeed in my career.  We’ve never had any sort of relationship that could even remotely be considered inappropriate, if you go through my texts we only communicate on work related matters and I’ve never even seen her outside of work or work related events. Today was her last day of work, she’s got around a year of PTO built up and so she’s taking it all starting today. I admittedly procrastinated on getting her a retirement gift, I was always planning on getting her a nice bottle of red wine and a card because wine’s her favorite thing in the world.

So I was gonna leave early before work so I could stop by the liquor store, my girlfriend asked where I was going, I told her I was going to the winery and I said it’s Dianne’s last day cause she’s retiring and I was gonna get her some wine. She questioned that and said it’s not appropriate and I asked why not, and she said she’s just not comfortable with it. Again I asked why not, and she said that that’s supposed to be a gift for lovers or close relations and not coworkers. I just shrugged and said that’s your opinion but I don’t feel that way and neither does anyone at my workplace. She said she’s uncomfortable with it and I said I get that, and I understand your fears and you’re entitled to feel that way but I’m still going to do it regardless.

I got her the wine, and for what it’s worth my gift paled in comparison to everyone else’s so it was definitely appropriate, but my girlfriend is mad and is refusing to speak to me, which is a bit childish because I don’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong. ######

Response: NTA.  Your girlfriend is throwing a tantrum because you successfully participated in an adult professional activity.  She needs to grow up. ######


Prompt:
Last night I (f15) was talking to my sister (f13) about how I've been looking to make some extra money lately because I've been wanting to buy a new phone and haven't been getting many shifts lately because of coronavirus.

I said to her that I wanted to sell a dress that I had brought online, because I didn't like it as much as I thought I would and saw it as an opportunity to make some money. She said that I shouldn't sell it and *give* it to her because she likes and would wear it (I have had this dress for a few months and only worn it once, but I have never heard her say anything about liking or wanting the dress). I told her that I would prefer to sell it and make money. She ended up saying that I care more about money than my family and that I'm being selfish.

I think that because I own the dress I should be able to say who I sell or give it to, even if it does come across as selfish. I feel like she is guilting me into giving her the dress and keeps bringing my parents financial situation into the argument, saying that she wants the dress so much that even if I did sell it she would go out and buy a similar one with my parents money knowing the would make me feel bad. I also know that had the situation had been reversed she would have not given the dress to me.

I feel like we're both probably right in some way, but it has become a huge fight and I just want to know if I'm being the asshole. ######

Response: NTA.  Your dress, sister being a manipulative brat. ######


Prompt: So I was making two grilled cheese sandwiches for a nice midnight snack. I finish up and sit down to enjoy 'em when my dad(46M) walks in the kitchen. He asks me to make one for him too to which I oblige. As I get the bread and plug the toaster oven back in, he takes my seat at the table and declares he'll have one of my sandwiches instead even though I was going to make one of those anyway as per his request. Before I could say anything, he takes a bite of my sandwich. I go to put back the bread in the cupboard and he says "Too lazy to make another one for yourself?" and he laughs. I, already in a sour mood because someone took my damn sandwich, say, "It's fine, I just don't like it when someone takes my food.". He takes offense to this, scowls at me, drops the sandwich back on the plate hard enough to make a sound as if to show anger, and slams the door when he leaves the room. You could really see the disdain in his eyes after I said that remark. I'd really like to know if I'm the asshole here or not. ######

Response: NTA.  Your dad pulled an AH move and doubled down on it when called out. ######


Prompt:
I’ve been asking my boyfriend for over a week to please, please check out my car. He knows what he’s doing, has worked on every truck he’s ever had, and I’m a clueless idiot who is very likely about to not have a job for a while due to everything going on, so I can’t afford to take it someone even if I did find somewhere open. It feels very strange when I drive it, is only getting worse. There’s been times where it has honestly felt like it’s going to straight up fall apart on the interstate and I have to drive extra slow. It terrifies me. My tires aren’t that old, so it can’t be that. My boyfriend is getting paid time off right now so isn’t working or doing anything besides playing video games so I’ve asked him to look at it and he just won’t. He says there’s probably nothing wrong and I’m being dramatic. I have to drive an hour to work every day and I don’t leave until dark, so I have a fear of ended up on the side of the road at midnight by myself.

After a week of being frustrated I decided to take my car to the only other person I know who knows things about vehicles, my ex who I’m still friendly with. It wasn’t a big deal, I texted him and asked if he was busy and I needed an opinion on my car, he said sure bring it around, stayed there for about 30 minutes and that’s it. My boyfriend absolutely flipped out when he found out today. Said I disrespected him, disrespected our relationship, I’m in the wrong, I “broke his trust” when all I literally wanted is to make sure my car is safe to drive ######

Response:
 NTA.  Your boyfriend sounds like a spoiled child.  You were right to take matters into your own hands.  Not to mention the safety of being broken down on the road at midnight, worse:  what if you crashed? Hurt yourself? Hurt someone else? What a jerk.

He’s angry at himself and taking it out on you.  You went to another man, subverting his “manhood”, what a child.  Think hard on this relationship.  This type of thing is exactly the red flag you see later down the line and think:  damn it! I should have known! ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account because he'd likely see it if i posted with my main acc.

&#x200B;

some context- I've been doing freelance art for years and usually I charge, say, $90 per character in a piece or more depending on other stuff. My bf didn't know I drew when we started dating and didn't seem to care all that much EXCEPT occasionally when i'd draw his night elf character for him, mostly just small pics or chibis/cute stuff

But now that i'm getting a tonne more commissions (yay corona?) he's been getting insistent about me drawing for him, even mad when he sees my twitter DMs with comission requests and often snidely makes remarks about how busy i'll be in the coming days and such with "drawing stuff for OTHER people". I caved at first and drew him a few pics, practically bypassing my commission queue (the order in which I work on clients art) to get his done first so he wouldn't be mad, but he keeps asking for more, which would really mess up my income and probably piss off my clients cuz they would have to wait longer for theirs. one of our mutual friends suggested he pay like my other commissioners and he laughed at the suggestion. I never NEVER draw for free usually because i know if one person gets free comms then ten more will show up asking.

This all came to a head earlier this week when i snapped and told him to -in not so nice words- to shove it and now he;s extremely pissed. I don't play wow and never have so, but he has since early teens so I know the character has emotional significance to him, but i'd really just rather work on my other commissions and pay the bills, am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA.  Your BF is messing with your business.  That should never be allow.  And he should knows better.  This is serious.  Relationships are suppose to enhance your life, not weight you down.   A lot of people have broken up for less. Have a serious talk and do not back down ######


Prompt:
My (18f) boyfriend (21m) has been struggling with money recently due to quarantine. His hours at work were cut so he’s having trouble keeping up with rent and bills. Recently, my parents offered to help him. He was reluctant to accept help at first but eventually accepted $400 and was able to get through the month with that extra money.

Now, 2 weeks later he’s asking for $350 more. He’s saying he’ll pay it back to my parents, but what irks me is he’s asking for this money so he can change the exhaust on his car to make it louder. I completely blew up at him because in my eyes he’s taking advantage of my parents’ generosity and asking me to lie to them if they ask what he’s spending it on, as he knows they wouldn’t give him the money if they knew he was spending it on something he didn’t really need. His argument is that he’s going to pay the money back, so it shouldn’t matter.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA.  Your BF is acting extremely entitled right now.  You’re right to be pissed.  Your parents made a very generous and kind gesture, now he’s just taking advantage. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so backstory... I have an aunt who has two girls (16 & 9) my aunt doesn’t know how or care to learn how to do hair. I learned how to do my own hair when I was younger, so I’m fairly good at braiding, etc.

However, being a hairstylist is not my ambition. I actually hate doing hair, but because they had no one else to do their hair.. I did it for them, didn’t ask for anything in return. The free hairstyles went on for about 2 months..

When I started getting short on cash, and realized she was bringing them by my house almost every week to get their hair done.. (retwist for the older girls whole head, and the younger usually wanted some style she’d seen on Instagram) I told her that I’d like to start getting paid $20 per head. Which isn’t bad considering that the process to do both heads usually took me all day.

She got upset and refused, started talking about all the things she’d done for me.. which only included a few rides to work (which she was compensated for) & she started taking her girls to a hair salon, paying way more than what I asked for. When I questioned the logic, she said if she was going to pay for her kids hair to be done it was going to be professionally. Okay, no problem.. I hate doing hair anyway.

So, now that COVID has shut down most businesses.. she had my mom reach out to me asking me to do the girls hair. Again, I said I would but it will be $20 per head. I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong, she has the funds.. she just doesn’t feel like she should have to pay me. My mom, and other aunts have been texting me about the value of family and being there for one another, calling me selfish, etc... but considering I’m out of work and barely making it.. I don’t think I’m the one being selfish.. thoughts?

LSDR; Aunt doesn’t feel the need to pay me to do her kids hair, but will pay professionals for 3x my asking price! ######

Response: NTA.  You’re offering a service and she should pay for it.  Just because someone is family doesn’t mean you take advantage of them. ######