Prompt:
My girlfriend is a physician assistant. She makes good money and she is satisfied with her job. She does feel regret about going into PA though. She hated school and chose to do PA since it had less schooling than medicine. So her heart wasn’t in it to begin with, which is her fault. It’s been a few years and she wants to find a new career. She told me a few days ago that she wants to open a boba/shaved ice shop. Her parents run a convenience store and a small restaurant in our city so she’s already been interested in that. She helped her parents run the business while she was young so I do feel like she’ll excel. But I think she’s throwing away something good that she already has. She makes 90k at age 27. She doesn’t hate her job. We live a good life and I don’t want to make sacrifices for this. If she hated her job, I would agree and would even invest in it. But she herself has told me that she likes her job. She’s also really good at it. Her parents suggested that she can run the restaurant and offer new products while still working as a PA part time. But she doesn’t want that. She doesn’t want to work under her parents. If she went with this route, I would also support her because her parents are established and have a clientele. I’m trying to compromise. I don’t want my life style to change and we were going to try for kids soon. Clearly we can’t anymore.

Edit: also this means she’s going to quit her job and we will live on a one salary (mine) ######

Response: NTA you’d be living off of just your income for who knows how long + it’s just a pretty risky move ######


Prompt:
I am a trans woman who transitioned when I was a teenager and have been living as a woman for the last 10 or so year. My father had never been incredibly accepting but has long since accepted that this is happening.

Now my step sister is getting married and both my father and brother are vowing to boycott the wedding if I am allowed to attend in a dress and other associated female formal attire.

However, the bride and groom have no problem with me attending in male or female attire they just want me there. But the behavior of my family is putting me in a position where I have to choose between being there for my step sister and ruining the wedding. As it’ll be a cold day in hell before I insult myself by going to any event in a suit and tie ######

Response: NTA you're not ruining the wedding by being yourself, your father and brother are by making it about their transphobia and not the bride and grooms special day ######


Prompt:
So I live in a small flat with just one other roommate (female). Three months ago, she started dating this new guy and recently he's been staying over just about every night and staying through the day as well (sometimes even while my roommate is at work). He works ridiculous hours and often finishes work past midnight and wakes me up almost every time he gets home. My roommate has also given him his own key, so that he can come and go when his shifts start and finish.

I recently confronted my roommate about this, stating that I shouldn't have to deal with him waking me up when he doesn't live here. She told me that he's too tired to drive back to his house, which is over 30 mins away, and that it makes more sense for him to crash at our place and to stay throughout the day until his next shift the following night. Also, given that they both work so much, the only way they get to see each other (in her eyes) is for him to come to our place, rather than for her to go to his.

I don't necessarily have a problem with him sleeping at my place if he feels it's too dangerous to drive home. I don't want him to get in a car crash. And I definitely don't have a problem with the boyfriend as a person, as he seems like a really friendly, respectful guy. My only concern is that he's basically living here when he isn't contributing to any bills. I asked my roommate if she would consider limiting his visits to 4 days/nights at the most, but she refused to consider it.

Am I being unreasonable and should I just let them be happy? Or is my roommate being selfish?

So in summary, AITA for asking my roommate to stop inviting her boyfriend over so much? ######

Response:
 NTA You're not being unreasonable AT. ALL.

The fact that he's disrupting your sleep, he's basically living there, she's also given him his own key?

4 nights a week is generous and she's not even considering it? She's TA.

What exactly is her reason that it's better for him to come over than her go over? ######


Prompt:
A little background: I (20) grew up in a family of Christians farmers and handy workers. I was seen as "very smart" so they had high hopes for me. They are really traditional and we are french.

So when I was about 7 I went to my uncle house and didn't want to kiss them ( they thought I was being impolite and rebellious) while my stepbrother did. They screamed at me and kept making me feel guilty for that since I was about 16.

When I was 14, I was diagnosed with school phobia along with social anxiety and saw a therapist. I am now offiacially diagnosed with those, alongside with "high functioning autism" and cptsd which is why I can't stand physical contact.

They said I can't have any of those because they never saw me crying or having a panic attack, and that all autistic poeple are "dumb and drooling everywhere" and I just use that as an excuse because I'm lazy (while forcing me to study subjects i'm not good at).

My mom has a high sense of family and what it means and wants me to texts them (and her) often, to go to their house when I'm not far from home for studies. I am kind of scared of her because she is a huge part in what caused my cptsd.

I'm really lost in what I should do, I was raised to think about family first but that is only one of the traumatic events I went through, being LGBT in this kind of traditional family.

AITA for wanting to cut ties with my family? ######

Response: NTA You're never an asshole for wanting to cut toxic people out of your life. They treated you horribly. and now they have to accept the consequences of their actions. ######


Prompt:
We are vacationing at the beach. My father in law is obsessed with getting sticky buns from the local bakery every time we are here. The last few days he has taken my son with him to try to get the delicious treats but comes back empty handed because the lines were always really really long.

Today he decides to go really early so he can get there when the bakery opens. He decides to wake up my son, and I stop him, saying it's only 6am and my son needs his sleep. My father in law gets angry, throws up his hands and storms out.

Just my luck, he had already disturbed his sleep so as soon as he left my son wakes up.  I'm so annoyed.... AITA here? ######

Response: NTA you're looking out for your son's best interests. And today is now your opportunity to ask him if he wants his grandpa to wake him up at 6am on future mornings to go to the bakery :) ######


Prompt:
I (40 M) have a female friend (32) that I used to work with. We became very good friends and have ventured into possible FWB waters a few times. I didn't find out until afterwards, she was initially hired for her job by a dude based on him being a "sugar daddy." Funny thing is he claims to be this big shot former hockey player - when I got curious, I searched him. Mr. Big time played one year of college hockey in the late 70s.

When she worked for him, he refused to pay her an hourly wage, then said "well I'm paying for her apartment." He would call her into his office randomly during the day just to paw at her and grab her. He's an alcoholic and would say "yeah, let's go to lunch," then she'd text me at like 6:00 telling me they were supposed to go get lunch, and ended up at the bar all afternoon. Since he's the older rich guy, he tries to tell her who she's allowed to talk to.

Oh, and he's married. His wife is the VP of his company. She's also an alcoholic; he'll get her good and shitfaced early in the day so he can spend time with my friend. Then when his wife wakes up, he'll drop my friend off and go play hubby.

She text me maybe 30 minutes ago and tells me "hey good news, he might be hiring me back." I responded and pointed out what an asshole he is, how he treated her, and how he didn't even pay her. Am I the asshole for looking out for a friend? Or should I just say "ok" and let her make that mistake again? ######

Response: NTA You're her friend, first and foremost it sounds like, and advising a friend against being in a relationship where you're used like that is the kind of things friends do. That being said, you'll also ruin the friendship if you press too hard... so make sure she knows your opinion and that she has your support regardless. In the end, she's the one in charge of her life and the decisions she makes, even the bad ones. ######


Prompt:
So I created a throwaway cause Ill be reveling some facts that would me easy to dox if I used my normal reddit account.

Im a Civilian and I work for the US Army in Korea. Recently due to COVID19 I was put under what they call a Public Health Emergency which has placed restrictions on what Im allowed to do. One of those restrictions is Im not allowed to go to any bars. If I do so and get caught I get banned from all US Military bases which translates into me getting fired.

In addition to that the US Military has undercover military police patroling popular areas looking for violators and people are losing their careers over this. To add to this my job involves me working with the military police so Im confident if I broke the rules and someone saw me id be reported.

My girlfriend of 2 yrs is a Korean citizen and also she lives with me. The rules do not apply to her.

She went out drinking with her girlfriends. She got drunk and told me I needed to come pick her up from the bar. She was in a popular area and its very likely undercover police were watching the bar she was at. I didnt think it was a good idea to risk my career to get her. I told her to take a taxi.

Apparently im the asshole for refusing to pick her up. What do you think?

O she wasnt stranded. She ended up getting a taxi home just fine. ######

Response: NTA you're definitely not in the wrong here, why would you risk your job when she could easily get a taxi home. If she was completely stranded then I'd understand her annoyance but since she had alternative methods to get home you've done nothing wrong. Plus even if she had no alternative method to get home, it's still a dickmove from her to put you in a situation where you had to choose between your job and helping her out. It's not like you forced her to go out drinking so why should you face severe consequences for it. ######


Prompt:
I (20F) have been dating my boyfriend (24M) for about 4 months now. This is our only real problem right now.

The small arguments we had, he refused to talk about it and 'solved' it by getting me flowers and chocolates, or another gift. The first time I thought he was maybe nervous, or wanted to keep the peace since this was our first argument. But it's happened several times.

I told him it makes me uncomfortable, that instead of learning how to navigate problems together and communicate effectively it feels like he just wants to 'buy forgiveness' and move on.

He said something pretty offensive about my family last week, I explained why I didn't like what he said and asked if we could talk about it. He told me he didn't want to fight and hung up, and showed up the next day with a pretty expensive necklace. I told him it's a nice gesture, but I don't want a necklace, I want us to be able to talk about these things. He got frustrated and left, calling me ungrateful.

The next day he sent a bouquet of flowers. We're both getting frustrated at this point. But I don't think we can just keep doing this, we have an argument, he buys me something, we move on and never talk about it? That doesn't seem healthy.

AITA for not just forgiving him? ######

Response: NTA you're absolutely right. Instead of confronting the issue, he's trying to buy you off. It's not healthy. ######


Prompt:
My (21F) friend (20M), whom I’ve been friends with for 10 years, has been dating his girlfriend, let’s call her Julia, for a about 5 months. I don’t particularly like her and I’ve seen a few red flags. She treats him like a servant and constantly makes fun of him in front of his friends. Nevertheless he seems happy and I normally don’t meddle with people’s relationships. Their relationship, their rules.

My friend recently turned 20 and he decided to throw a garden party. We were all sitting at one table playing drinking games. The topic of sex came up. Julia and one her friends started to whisper to each other, but half of the table could still hear them. She made fun of her boyfriend because he was still a virgin when they got together and how she has to teach him everything in bed. Luckily my friend didn’t her her. He would have been crushed as this was always something he was very insecure about.

I didn’t say anything at that point because I didn’t want to spoil the mood completely but after the party was over I took her aside. I told her that to take such issues up with her boyfriend and told her that this was extremely disrespectful and disgusting and a violation of his trust. She shrugged and walked off. I don’t know what she told my friend but on the next day I was blocked by him and he doesn’t answer his landline.

AITA for saying something? ######

Response: NTA you were respectful and pulled her aside. You were honest. She walked away without saying anything and immediately probably ran to your friend and spun a whole bs story turning you into a horrible person before you could talk to him and tell him what really happened. He cut you off without talking to you because she probably insisted he do it or she did it for him. Hopefully he will reach out and actually talk to you. Would be shitty of him to toss a 10 year friendship out over a toxic gf he’s only been with less than 6 months. ######


Prompt:
This story is a couple years old but it's been on my mind lately. For reference, my boyfriend and I were about sixteen or seventeen when this happened if that's important.

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So my bf and I were going to hang out at his place and I had called in an order of Chinese for us to pick up, I think it was like one sesame chicken and one veggie lo mein (not very much food.) As neither of us drove we were reliant on our folks for rides, and his mother had offered to drive him out to pick me up from my house and drive us back to theirs. He had asked her if it was alright if we stopped at the Chinese food place on the way back to pick up our order, and she said that was fine.

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She picked me up and they waited in the car while I went in and got the food. She seemed fine when I got back in the car, but as we were driving back she made it a point to say to my bf that when his father orders food, he is always polite and orders enough for everyone, all while maintaining eye contact with me in the rear view mirror. I just sat there with a deer in headlights look and didn't really say anything, because what do you say when your boyfriend's mom insinuates you're being rude? We retreated as soon as we got to his place and ate alone, but his mother was weird towards me until I left.

&#x200B;

I was talking to my sister about this recently and she told me that she could see where his mother was coming from, but I feel like since I was a kid who didn't have a job it wasn't really my responsibility to feed the house? Especially since like 7 people lived with him, so it wouldn't have just been feeding one or two extra people.

&#x200B;

So Reddit, AITA for only buying enough food for myself and my boyfriend, and not food for his family? ######

Response: NTA you were kids trying to have a dinner date...his Mom was the rude one. ######


Prompt:
My 3 year old daughter loves to spend time at my mom's house but my mom has never been the "good" parent, she has always tried hard to be the fun one no matter what. Over the last year or so she ha taught my daughter my daughter many bad habits that have been hard to break. Some notable ones are, she taught her to fight by putting up fists and asking her if she wants to fight. My daughter now will come up to you and say let's fight then punch you in the jaw. She has taught her pee outside because she's little enough to not make it a problem. But now to the point, the last straw. This morning I dropped her off there to play while mom and I worked. When I got there she instantly tried teaching her that "someone stop her she's dancing like a stripper" song. I sternly told her not to teach her that and left it at that. An hour later I got a Snapchat from her of my daughter singing it. I told her again it doesn't matter if you say she can only sing it there. She will sing it in public and I don't want that. I got no response. After work my wife calls me and tells me my mom called her and asked our daughter to sing her the song. Further proving she made her memorize this. Then my mom called my wife a bitch for telling her not to fucking teach her this stuff.

Her calling my wife a bitch was the last straw. I went to her house and told her exactly what I thought. I told her our daughter is not going there any more until she thinks about what she is teaching her. As I was leaving my mom told me if she sees my wife in public she's gonna beat her ass.

At that point I flipped. I screamed at her to act her age and stop being a shitty person.

Now I can't sleep thinking maybe I should have defended my mom even a little. AITA?

Also sorry for the long post. ######

Response:
 NTA You were completely justified in defending you wife, and telling your mother what she can't teach your child. Your best bet is going to be going NC for a while, and she is she's willing to change after a timeout. If this is a lifelong issue, then there may be no helping her, but you'll probably feel guilty if you don't give her a chance.

If your wife ever needs to vent, send her over to r/justnomil and have her post some stories. It's a very supportive community. ######


Prompt:
My (16m) mom is registered as a foster mom for emergencies. We've had many kids stay at our house for short periods of time. Usually it would be one kid at a time. However, last year, my mom was asked to temporarily let 3 kids stay with us. The mother of the 3 kids recently had a psychosis and the kids had no other family members living in the country. We were all a bit more emotionally connected to these kids, because they were the youngest we ever housed (6,7 and 10). Good news, after three months their mom recovered and they were allowed to go live with her again, but it only lasted shortly as their mom quickly relapsed again. Now my mom has just been asked if she wants to care for the children indefinetly, as their mom's current situation is not very promising.

My mom just asked me and my siblings about our opinion, but I was the only one who didn't want it. I told my mom my primary reason was because of the lack of space, and also because my parents are already quite old (my mom is 59 and my dad is 65) So I can't imagine that they'll be able to raise these young kids until they reach the age of 18.

some more info: I live in a 4 bedroom house with 3 other siblings and my parents. I have always had to share a room with my younger brother but my sister is leaving for college next year and I would finally have my own room. If the 3 kids come live with us, they will have to share one room, and my brother and I will have to share a room until I go to college. Especially now  it's very stressful being around so many people and I can't imagine always living like this. ######

Response: NTA you were asked your opinion, and you gave it. It's a valid opinion to have, you live in the house and deserve to be heard. ######


Prompt:
So my husband and I currently live in an apartment, but we’ve been looking to move into a house so that we can have kids, and they would get a yard and all that comes with a house. We’ve found a house that meets most of our criteria, but there is one problem. The house is ancient. It was built in the 1800s, and it still only had a wood furnace and wood stove. Meaning that we would have to cook on a wood stove. Our agreement is that I cook 4/7 days a week, he cooks 2/7 and we get takeout or eat out for one. But he’s pretty lazy about keeping up his side of that and I don’t really mind cooking so it’s more like I cook 5 or 6 days and we get takeout one.

I’m not resentful of that, he has a much more intensive job and is tired at the end of the day, but it does mean I feel I should get more say when it comes to what we have to cook on.

The reason this house is good for us is it’s cheap for the area while not being too small. But if we move I want to upgrade the stove to gas or electric(probably electric as the house doesn’t have gas). He says it’s a waste of money and ruins the charm of the house. I do not want to deal with the hassle of cooking on a wood stove. I can put up with the furnace, although that’s annoying too, I have enough to worry about while cooking, I don’t want to try and keep the fire at the right heat to cook on.

I said if we don’t replace the stove then I wouldn’t be cooking. He said it’s unfair and he’s just trying to save money. It’s not going to hurt us too much to replace the stove, we’re buying the house full cash, and will have enough leftover.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA you use it way more often so you're the one who has to deal with it, stoves don't cost much and if he really wants to save more then get a separate hob unit and use a slow cooker or similar to replace the need for an oven, works well for us. ######


Prompt:
Recently broke up with my gf because she was super abusive. Her sister is also abusive towards her fiancé and it comes from their abusive dad. A couple days after we broke up, the sisters fiancé texted me and asked what happened. I told him how abusive my ex was and I gave him examples of why. Less than a week later, his engagement was called off suddenly for unknown reasons. He then told me he realized that he was in the same shoes as me and didn’t notice that his relationship was toxic. He said he was happy and thanked me for opening his eyes.

The rest of the family found out and are blaming me for breaking apart the couple. I’ve been accused of ruining the sisters life. I told them it was the fiancés decision and I’m not responsible. They disagree and accused me of spreading lies to get back at my ex. I don’t feel bad at all but my friends tell me that I should have stayed out of it and that I’m an asshole.

BTW both the sisters and the dad are in denial that they are abusive and manipulative. So they truly believe that I fucked everything up.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA you told the truth and he was lucky he realized before getting married he was in the same situation. ######


Prompt:
My (f17) sister (f34) and her husband (m37) have been staying at my parents house for a couple of months, mom absolutely loves having my sister at her home she's given her and husband a very big welcome and cooked their favorite meals everyday.

While staying at home, feeling bored I decided to do a "makeover" and give myself an at-home haircut, Honestly, I've never touched my hair before, But not being able to go to the salon has made feel depressed.

My hair was shoulder-length, now it's short, pixie style, I'd say it was a seccuss, cause while we were all sitting having dinner, Everyone started complimenting my "new haircut" eccept for my brother in law (sister's husband),
And because of him being a sarcastic asshole who doesn't mind hurting people's feelings, he had a different opinion on my haircut, and said " Honestly, It could've been worse!".

"Excuse me, I DID NOT ask for your opinion, and everybody knows why".

BIL: Because I hate lying?, unlike everybody else?

Sister started motioning him to stop, but he wanted to escelate.

Dad: We didn't lie, we like it.

BIL : seriously, don't lie about where you got your haircut, you could ruin that person's career!

I was stunned, sis told him to shut up, but he continued to harras me, So I got off my chair and went upsatirs, about a few minutes later he knocked on my door, said he wanted to apologize, what a hypocrite, he lied, he didn't "want to apologize" my sister told him to.

He put on his "sorry face" apologized and told me my hair looks fantastic. And he sounded totally fake while saying that.
I pretended to be "okay" and before he walked out he turned around and said "piece of advice, Do not take a selfie showing your friends your new haircut, they'll envy you" and he sounded...God, I'm so offended, he was very sarcastic so I knew he ment to offend me once again, I know he's an asshole, But Am I overreacting? ######

Response: NTA you told him you didn’t appreciate him being rude and he continued to be rude. You’re not an asshole for that ######


Prompt:
I honestly feel like I am living in the twilight zone so I really need input because I don't know if I am being a dense asshole or he is an asshole.

So we have a core friend group. It's me and my roommate (both 22f) and our guy friend Jon (23m). And due to the circumstances right now some changes have happened.
So our friend Jon lives in a one bedroom apartment and he is not good with not socializing for long periods of time.... Plus he has literally no family (mom died, dad left him for his new family). I have no family on this continent and my roommate has not a good relationship to her family... So we are like a family. Have known each other for 5 years.

So to the story there was a pipe burst in Jon's apartment so he called us to ask if he could stay with us. We said ofcourse. Roommate and I are staying in the living room together eitherway because sleeping alone during this time was fairing up our anxiety, which meant that we had a room free so he could sleep there.

He came over an hour later to stay with us. That same night I told my boyfriend of 5 months what happened. But to my surprise he got really really fucking upset with me because I didn't ask him or in his world.... "you didn't Consult me". Idk of its me beeing single for so long or what but I just don't get it. It was a last minute decision, we don't sleep in the same room and he is basically a roommate more. I am not attracted whatsoever to him neither he is to me. He is mad because he said that we should do this decisions together. AITA? ######

Response: NTA you told him literally the night it happened. You didn't hide it from him. What did he want, for you to ask him permission? You were helping the guy out in an emergency and it was a mutual decision between you and your roommate. You're not sharing a room. Your bf sounds a little controlling. ######


Prompt:
i have an insane amount of respect for my grandma. she’s such a strong female presence in my life- when my moms been toxic to me, she’s always tell my mom off and protect me.

she’s the daughter of immigrants and i’m 90% sure she was born in mexico herself. she was left by her husband, my grandpa, when my mom was little when he left her for his secretary. she raised 3 kids on her own, and then raised 2 more (my cousins/ her grandchildren) when her sons wife left too.

that being said, she’s old fashioned.

i’ve wanted to be a soccer player since i was 4 years old, and since i’ve trained nonstop and have spent countless hours on a soccer field. whenever i’d mention this dream she’d always scoff but i thought maybe it was just a temporary feeling.

recently, after i got a huge achievement in my soccer career (a couple of sports websites wrote something about a winning goal i scored), i visited her house for winter break.

she told me i shouldn’t be who i want to, because i’m a girl and that’s a mans job. she then proceeded to offer some other advice- that i should work to support my family and such.

i told her i want to work for myself, not for my future husband. she told me i was being irrational, so i told her she was being small minded and sexist.

my moms family immediately all started yelling at me for it, saying it wasn’t my place- tbh, everyone there sees her as a mother figure in some way. her two sons live at home- and there about to be 60.

now i feel really bad, because i accused her of something big over something not that massive. i understand, since she’s stuck in her ways and had to work a job for her family, maybe she thinks the same of me? after all, there’s no point in trying to move an immovable object.

my mom and her side says i was rude, but my dad and brother say i was right to speak up for myself.

reddit, AITA? ######

Response: Nta you spoke the truth. People need to be called out sometimes in order to change their old thinking ######


Prompt:
Asking for a friend who does not have Reddit.

My neighbor and I have lived in the same subdivision for over fifteen years. We used to be friendly because our kids were friends, but as they grew apart, so did we. We were never especially close, she’s one of those people who asks for advice and then does what she wants anyway, which can be frustrating and part of why I never wanted to be overly involved in her drama. This all came to a head two years ago, when she asked me to come with her to another neighbor’s kid’s graduation party and neither me nor my kid wanted to go (not only that, but we really hadn’t been invited, except as an afterthought via text the day before). For whatever reason, this really upset her, and we haven’t spoken since.

Out of the blue yesterday, I get a phone call from her husband asking if I would make them all face masks because I’m “so creative”. She then also called me and texted asking if I knew how to pay the homeowners dues (as I said, we’ve all lived here for almost 20 years - how could she not know?) I do sew and I made a few fabric face masks for relatives and a close friend. They’re probably not especially protective or official, but they’re cute and I made them for my friends/family as a gift, because I wanted to. They take a long time to put together, they’re kind of tedious, which is why I’m not going out of my way to make a bunch of them - they’re not really worth donating to hospitals or anything, as I said they’re more for a fun project than anything else.

I haven’t responded to either her or her husband yet, part of me feels guilty and that I should just do it, but another part of me feels like I don’t owe something to a woman who cut me off completely over two years ago. AITA? ######

Response: NTA you shouldn't have to do them a favor if you dont want to ######


Prompt:
I’m a 25 year old guy, responsible with my money and have great credit. I opened a joint bank account with my dads name on the account back when I was 16 and working my first ever job. I use the same account now, mostly just for convenience. I don’t want to have to update my payment info on iTunes, Amazon, student loans, etc.
So anyway, I woke up this morning and found my parents had went in and taken $1500 out of my account without telling me. They had booked a vacation for our family next month and needed to borrow it due to not having enough in their own account. I know they’ll pay it back, they always do. But I wish they had told me first. I was going to use that to buy some car parts, and now I have to wait for them to repay me, however long it takes. I’m not mad, just annoyed and thinking I’m at the age where I should have a bank account without my dads name on it. They’re great parents and do a lot for me, but I’m starting to not like how they have access to my account and can see my balance and recent purchases at my age. AITA? ######

Response: NTA you should have made your own account 7 years ago. ######


Prompt:
Sorry if this is rambling, I have no idea what to do  and its stressing me out.

Long story short I did one of those DNA test to see what my genetic makeup was. However I got the results back today and it shows a parent/child relationship with a man I have never heard of. I've never had a child so that leaves the parent connection.

According my parents they dated for 3 months then accidentally ended up pregnant with me. They didn't love eachother and a baby wasn't a good enough reason to get married but they co-parented and fell in love over time. They got married when I was 4. I love both of my parents, they raised me in a house full of love and affection. All my friends tell me how cute my parents together, they simply love eachother and arent afraid to show affection. I've always joked that sometimes they act like teenagers in love.

Given the circumstances around my mom getting pregnant it's possible but I just don't want to think about that. I want the results to be wrong I wish I could take it back and never do this stupid test but I did and I can't change that. I'm in my late 20s/early 30s and an only child. I don't see how telling anyone would do anything besides cause a world of hurt and confusion in an already stressful time.

WIBTAH if I just never said anything to anyone? ######

Response:
 NTA you sent the test off, it doesn't require you to tell anybody the results. You are right nothing will be gained by telling this news, he is still your father even if you don't share DNA.

Now the tricky part may come if Dad ever takes the test and doesn't see a parent child connection to you. ######


Prompt:
My provincial government has released a 3.5 million dollar support fund for university students, and a 1.5 million dollar fund for indigenous students.

I couldn’t care less. Having a separate fund for indigenous students (who make up a decent percentage of the university population) will likely result in more money for all of us. So it may work out better for literally every student? At least that’s what I believe.

My mom sent the news article to our family chat, accompanied with “they don’t work and get free school. OP, aren’t you mad about this? You work your butt off to pay for school”. I went up to her in person and said that I already applied for funding so I don’t care, and that it was a really harmful thing to say in front of my 14 year old brother that “natives don’t work”.

She started bitching at me about how lazy they are and I said that she was being a racist and it’s disgusting. She stomped to her room and slammed the door to call my father. I just received an angry text saying that was disrespectful to call my mother a racist and I have no idea what racism is.

AITA for saying she’s racist?? ######

Response: NTA you said the truth. Very good to counteract that display of racisme in front of your younger brother ######


Prompt: Beyond the city boundary there’s some mountainous woods, we’ve gone before once to collect stones & found silver and even onyx. This time we just went on a little hike. We found some amazing things. A real honest to god truffle and some other interesting shrooms. Later on we found another mushroom, Amanita muscaria. The famous cartoonish red mushroom..as a biologist doing my Master’s, my Mycology classes have of course drilled it into me to never ingest even a piece of these things. Well as she was examining it I walked a few steps away to take a quick piss and when I turned around it was quickly apparent that she had torn off a section of the veil! and she was about to pop it in her mouth, I screamed from right behind her NO DONT EAT IT and she dropped both the piece and her phone which was in the other hand onto some rocks and it cracked the screen pretty bad. At first she was a bit irritated but then when I told her why i yelled that and she calmed down. Then she saw her phone and got mad at me all over again and the rest of the hike was frosty. This morning she got up and left for work without even talking to me. AITA? ######

Response: Nta you said don't eat the mushroom, not drop your phone lol ######


Prompt:
20M here. My brother (16) has been in online class since our state closed schools for the year. Usually, I didn’t really keep up with him on his school work despite the fact that I regularly get his grades sent to my email throughout the school year.

About two weeks ago I noticed on his report then that he was missing 1 assignment in one class and his grade was a D. I didn’t reproach him about it or tell our parents then because he doesn’t listen to me and figured he’d be responsible enough to turn that grade around.

Fast forward to yesterday, his most recent report had him failing 2 classes and missing 4 assignments between the two of them. Without really pondering on it, I took a screenshot and sent it to both my mom and my stepdad (his biological father). My mom flipped out on him and my stepdad called him too to scold him.

I didn’t say anything about it to him at all, but he’s not an idiot, he knows I sent it to them. He didn’t get angry at me for it (at least not to my face). As of now, neither my brother nor my stepdad are speaking to me, but my stepdad’s silence is probably attributed to a fight him and I had 3 days prior. I kind of feel bad for the reaction he got, but I don’t regret doing what I did. AITA?

EDIT: When he first transferred to this school, the office needed an email to add their messaging list. I’m the only one of the four of us who has an email address that regularly checks it so I put mine down. For context, my parents are immigrants and English is not their first language. I usually handle communications between the school and us. ######

Response: NTA you put your email down for that reason. You fwd it to your parents so they could handle it. Unless it's your job to stay on top of him and school it was for them to handle ######


Prompt:
My flatmates girlfriend has been living here the past few weeks (not visiting- living here 24/7) and I told him today it's not cool and so he told her to leave. They have only been dating a short while (couple months) and she normally lives with her family.

For context: they don't just stay in their room- they occupy the common areas all the time. It is a small apartment for two people. For example we have a sofa for two people in the living room, when she is over I can't sit down and enjoy the TV as they are in there cuddling all the time.

Currently none of us are working also which exasperated the issue as we were seeing each other 24/7 and I felt like I had no personal space anymore. ######

Response: NTA you pay rent - she doesn't. You deserve to sit on your own damn couch. ######


Prompt:
(Throwaway of a throwaway because I forgot the password)

 A few months ago my brother took me furniture shopping. He needed new chairs and found nice ones but said he can't afford it. I offered him to lend him a bit money he said no first but accepted it seconds later.

We then go to the cashier (already signed the contract on everything under my name since I had a customer card) and I ask him how much he is short. He then said he has no money with him and never carries anything with him. So I had to pay everything since I signed the contract!!!

I was really pissed that he tricked me..

Now we got the notification that the chairs are ready to pick up. But I'm thinking I only will give him the contract and pick up slip when I get my money back from him. If sure he'll be very mad and throw a tantrum since he's always short on money. But I also have to get my money back!

So wibta? ######

Response: NTA you paid for it so it is yours until you get the money you paid. ######


Prompt:
My sister and her boyfriend recently broke up because she’s pregnant and keeping it and he wants her to get an abortion. Apparently she doesn’t want to stay in his house anymore or he kicked her out(not entirely clear which), because she’s asking to stay with me.

Well I have a 2 bedroom apartment and my girlfriend and I sleep in separate rooms, so there’s no bedroom for her to stay in. I told her she would have to sleep on the couch and she said that would be “unacceptable” like she was making a hotel reservation.

I told her to fuck off and find another place to stay then and she got pissed and said she couldn’t believe that I wouldn’t sleep with my girlfriend for my own sister. That sentence is making me laugh now but I still told her to find somewhere else to go. My parents are now getting pissed at me because she has no where to go.

AITA?

Edit: she’s like 2 months pregnant, the sofa isn’t going to kill her ######

Response: NTA you offered her a place to stay. Beggars can't be choosers. ######


Prompt:
I (f30) and my husband (m30) are currently looking to buy our first home. We struggled financially early in our relationship, but now (years later) we are finally secure enough to make our first big purchase.

Now, why I may be TA. My mom is a very dependent person. She hasn’t worked in years and depends solely on her very small inheritance  to support herself. I say very small because it’s not enough for her to live on her own with— she lives with a friend. Now that my husband I have decided to buy a house, she has it in her head that she will be moving in with us. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, but my husband and I are trying to start a family soon and we cannot support her, a house, and a baby.

Would I be the asshole if I told her she can’t move in with us? ######

Response: NTA you need to be clear with her and set boundaries. Prepaid for the guilt trip. ######


Prompt:
I (22F) have a severely autistic brother who i intend to take care of for the rest of my life. I have very strict immigrant parents who have recently discovered that i have been dating a half-Australian, half-Vietnamese guy (22M) and my father (55M) has threatened to take my mother (51F) and brother away from me and move to another city if i don't break up with him.  At the end of the year regardless of my decision to stay or go my entire family will be moving to another city.

My father has always been very controlling, when it comes to who i'm friends with, where i go, what i study and what i wear. After 4 years he's finally agreed that i don't have to study medicine and that i'm allowed to study Radiography like i originally intended to before university.

My father has said that if i agree to do what he wants and move to Adelaide with the rest of the family then as long as i am 100% honest with him, so essentially he approves who i'm friends with, what degree i do and who i date he won't be as angry and won't be as controlling.

I don't believe that he'll change and think i'm just destined to be miserable for the rest of my life. However if i leave i'll never get to see my mother or brother again and i really don't want that, and also everyone is telling me that i would be selfish to leave because my parents raised me for 21 years and i would just be abandoning them.

So WIBTA?

TLDR:  Father doesn't like who i'm dating and is threatening to take my mum and brother away from me and never let me see them again if i don't dump my boyfriend and move to a new city with them. WIBTA if i leave? ######

Response: NTA you have to take care of youself first. His behaviour is just toxic. You are old enough to decide for yourself, it is not like you are a dumb teenager dating some 40ish predator ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account for privacy reasons. Also, english is not my first language so I want to apologize in advance for any mistakes.

For context, I’m 18F and he’s 20M. We have been together almost a year now, and from time to time we disagree on how frequent we should be having sex. This happens because he has a much higher libido than mine. He wants to do it every day if he can when I’m good with 1-2 times per week.

The issue was this morning. We were sleeping together in my bed, and he wakes up and starts to kiss me, like a shower of kisses! And I was really happy, because that is a nice way to wake up, feeling so so loved. It started taking a turn when he began taking of my shirt, groping me, etc.

I started to feel a little uneasy, because I thought he was just kissing me to show me he loves me, but instead it was to turn me on so we could have sex. So politely, I said to him: “Hey, I haven’t even woken up, I don’t want that”. He told me to relax and lifted my shirt (i was laying on my stomach) and began kissing my back and reallyyyyyy rubbing himself against me.

I tried to relax, because I know if I reacted badly it would really hurt him, so I played along. That was until he asked me if he could make love to me. I told him no, not harshly, just no.

Right then, he laid besides me and looked really sad. At first he started pouting (literally), and after a couple times of Me asking him what was wrong, he told me that I never want it, and that it makes him feel bad because he feels like he’s doing something wrong when we do it and that he feels like he should apologize for even trying.

I told him that that is not true and tried to make him feel better. It didn’t work, he just asked me to take him to the door (we don’t live together) and that was that.

So now I’m wondering if I should have just went along with it or what I could have done to make him feel better. WITA for rejecting him? ######

Response:
 NTA you have the right to reject sex at any time. Sometimes you just don’t feel like it and that’s fine. He’s being childish to pout and then walk off because there’s no sex.

Talk to him about it. It’s not like you guys don’t have sex at all. ######


Prompt:
So for the last 7 or so years, my two brothers and I have always shared a GameStop pro rewards account because it's just cheaper to do it like that. To make it fair, we rotate who pays the approx $20/year for it. This year it came time for renewal and my middle brother noticed that it really had been just him and I paying for it and my youngest brother never paid for it. I paid for it every two years and my middle brother paid for it the other years. So the youngest has been skipping out, but has been using the account.

We confronted him and told him that he needed to start paying his share. We let him know what day it was due and how much it was. Now in his defense, he does have a small child to take care of, but he always seems to have money to spend on other frivolous things like marijuana, paraphernalia, take out, etc so his excuse was kinda tossed out the windows. We told him pay his share or we're changing the number.

Last week, when the account came due (about a month later), I went in to get middle brother a gift for getting a promotion and they informed me that the program needs to be renewed within the next couple of days or it would cancel out. Rather than to risk it, I paid for it to renew it and changed the number. I called middle brother and informed him what the number was changed to so he could continue accessing it. Today I received a phone call from my parents fussing at me about how I shouldn't have changed the number and how he was going to pay me, and I should've just been more patient.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA You have him fair warning, he could afford to pay his share. Crying to Mommy and Daddy about it takes the whole thing to even higher a-hole levels. ######


Prompt:
So, I definitely do not think I am an asshole, but my stepsister sure does. So some history: My mom married my stepdad when I was in my last year of high school. Step sis, let's call her, "Penny", attended a different school, and only visited on weekends. We didn't get to know each other that well, and just had a polite relationship.

For college, Penny lived full time with her mom, and I stayed with my mom and stepdad. I dated "Phil" during this time. Penny knew him somewhat, from when she would visit. Anyway, Phil and I ended up breaking up maybe a year before we graduated because he was cheating on me. I was super pissed at the time, but it's literally been almost 10 years so I'm over it. Penny didn't get to know about the cheating because I'm pretty private about these things, and didn't really advertise why we broke up.

Well fast forward to last year, Penny and Phil started dating. Whatever, idc. This is where I was probably an asshole, because I thought about telling her about the cheating, but then I decided not to, because it was a college relationship, neither of us were very mature, and people can change. Well sadly, Phil cheated on Penny A LOT. She found out over lock down when she went through his phone. She asked me if he had ever cheated on me, and I was honest and told her yes, that's why we broke up. She got SO upset, and flipped out at me, saying she could've avoided a ton of heartbreak. I feel bad, but I don't think it was my place? So reddit, AITA for not giving my stepsister a heads up about this guy? ######

Response: NTA You had no business in their relationship. Did she ask you for advice when they started seeing each other? I guess not. Did she directly ask you why you guys broke up? I guess not. ######


Prompt:
My gf and I moved out of state in with my dad a few months ago so we can get settled before we move out on our own again. We have a three month old baby.

My baby hasn't been sleeping very good the past few days. She's been colicky. This afternoon, i finally got her to nap while laying on my chest. My dad put left over pizza in the oven for himself for lunch. He said he was going to go shower and asked if I could get it out from the oven if the timer went off before he got out. I told him, "No, I can't because I have the baby sleeping on me." He hesitated, but then he said, "I'll be out in time."

He went to shower. He wasn't out in time and the timer went off. I called for him a few times but he didn't hear me. The baby woke up from me yelling for him but went back to sleep within a few moments. I did not get his pizza from the oven.

He came out about 5 minutes later. He was mad that the timer was going off. He asked me why I was letting it go off. I said that I told him I wasn't going to get it. He pulled his pizza out and it was kind of burned. Not black burned but it smelled a little toasty.

He saying I was being lazy and rude. I don't think I was because I told him straight up I wasn't going to get his pizza and he said he would be out in time. My dad also told my older brother about it who agrees with my dad.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA you had a baby ON TOP OF YOU FINALLY SLEEPING. And you told him before he went in you weren't going to be able to get it. ######


Prompt:
She says her $40k+ trust fund is for her future. Makes me feel like my income from work is not for us. The whole 'your money is ours, but mine is mine.'

And I am steadily paying for more and more, without any help (aside from TrumpBucks, which are already gone) because her paycheck has been cut by more than 80%, as she teaches private lessons for various musical instruments, and demand is LOW.

I could afford to cover all expenses/bills, but not indefinitely, and she is doing nothing to generate extra income. I also foot a $300/month weed habit for us, of which she smokes roughly 75% of, outside of current/past bill contribution, which is roughly 50/50. I also drink fairly heavily, and this habit is one I may have to curtail, as affording all this will get tricky quick-like.

On top of that, she is also getting pissed at me for doing less than half of the house chores, while she stays home all day, every day. What little work she is doing is done over Zoom/Skype.

Also, last week she said she would take some money out of the trust to help out, but refused to do so today after she called me at work and started yelling at me about bills and chores. I sent her a a few hundred to cover the gaps and she is still acting like I do nothing of worth for "us."

Called me a POS today because I forgot to take the garbage to the curb before I left for work this morning, which is one of the things I usually take care of, along with the kitty litter boxes.

Also of note, she has been threatening to move back in with her parents, as they "actually care about her," which, given everything else, is also highly hurtful to hear.

I realize there is a level of toxicity here, but I guess I want some validation that I'm not fucking crazy and that this is abusive, disrespectful, and entitled behavior. ######

Response: NTA you gotta get her out of your life before she sucks you dry. ######


Prompt:
I (38F) have a doctorate in Ancient History (so not a medical doctor), awarded in 2014. Whenever someone asks me for my title, as in 'is it Miss or Mrs _____,' I always say 'it's Dr,' because I worked hard on my PhD for 6 years and I earnt that title, so I'm going to use it. I'm never rude or pushy about it, I just always put it as my preferred title on forms and admin etc and introduce myself as Dr ____.

My wife and I got married in 2012, when I was still working on my PhD, and this problem has arisen in the past year or so. She told me recently that she finds it upsetting when I tell people that I'm a Dr, not a Mrs, because to her view, they're asking me if I'm married or not when they ask me for my title, and by answering Dr, I'm erasing her role in my life. She says it feels almost like I'm ashamed of being a Mrs. She says it also comes across as patronising to remind people that I have a PhD.

This seems ridiculous to me. I haven't told her this, but to me her objection seems rooted in insecurity that I don't feel is justified. I always introduce her as my wife. To my mind, that PhD took a hell of a lot of hard work, and although my career is not currently directly related to my doctorate, I still earnt it and the right to use that title. I'm also not a condescending dick about it, imo; I don't get angry if people call me Mrs, just politely say that my title is Dr.

I told my wife that I was going to keep going by Dr and she's still bringing it up every few weeks. I'm not going to break on this; I suppose it's the hill I've chosen to die on. Am I TA for not caving? Part of me thinks it's not worth arguing about but the rest of me just wants to use the title I earnt. ######

Response: NTA you get to decide what you’re called. Guys get to go by Mr. or Dr. and it still doesn’t reveal their marital status, so using Dr isn’t hiding her. I’d talk to her, though, to find out if something else is making her insecure. ######


Prompt:
I'm the oldest daughter of 3 children and have always given my parents money. My parents are both retired. They have savings, private pensions (which I helped organise) and a state pension. The mortgage is paid so they have no major expenses now.

My mum has always relied on my to contribute to the household since I started working. My Dad has not always had a steady income.  The additional has kept the dept collectors away many times.

The money is now a significant amount of my income which has meant I've not done things I want to do like travelling as I can't afford it.

I have told both parents I can't keep helping out and in 2019 I started to reduce my monthly transfers. Towards the end of each month I would get a call requesting money for essentials as they have run out which isn't making sense. They should have enough. I officially stopped transfers in December 2019.

In February I had my second child and want a year away from work to enjoy my family. My parents are happy about my growing family as they love their grandchildren but they still make requests for me to buy them things as if nothing has changed. They don't request cash but groceries, ask me to pay a bill online, amazon items etc. It all adds up to a few hundred which is less than I have previously paid.

Today my mum called me with her latest request, I said she would need to send me money to cover it and she said as her oldest child I need to look after my parents. I stuck to my guns and said I would need the money as I'm not working and she told me to forget it hung up. Now my folks aren't picking up the phone or responding to messages. I've been helping out for the last 15 years. I just can't afford it anymore.

AITA for no longer financially supporting my parents? ######

Response: NTA you gave them plenty of warning, and your priority is your immediate family: your kids and partner. Not your parents. ######


Prompt:
I should give a little backstory here: growing up, my parents were extremely wealthy. I watched my dad blow his money on a mansion, sports cars, and unnecessary purchases he made to show off his wealth. He owned a very successful and stable business, but decided to gamble it all away when he sold the company to start a new one that completely failed. We lost everything.
We moved out of the mansion and for the rest of my childhood and adolescence, we were so poor that we barely had money for food. I got made fun of in school for having old clothes that didn't fit me. My parents still would have cleaning people come over and clean our house and I would watch them pay them in cash as I sat there hungry. They did everything they could to keep up with their appearances while neglecting my needs.
Now on to today, their financial situation has improved thankfully, and I make a significant amount of money: more than they are making. My dad keeps making comments about how he is so glad I'll be able to take care of them now financially as I don't  think they have anything setup for retirement. They keep making frivolous purchases and are still being irresponsible with their money. I have a lot of financial goals I want to achieve and I have not factored in paying for their living expenses in their old age. I am bitter that they blew all of their money and the money that they did have, they did not use to take care of me growing up. I have worked hard for my wealth and I do not feel as though they deserve a significant share of it. AITA for not planning to support them? ######

Response: NTA You dont owe your parents anything. If you're feeling so bold you can even tell them straight up you dont owe them anything. Of course they'll probably call you names but really? It's their own fault they dont have enough savings and you dont need to bail them out ######


Prompt:
AITA for telling my friend to see a therapist instead of coming to me with her mental health problems?

My childhood friend has been struggling from mental health issues for the past 2-3 years. She refused to see a therapist (even had a fight with her parents about it), but she’s comfortable talking with me, so I’ve taken on the role of unofficial therapist.

We normally talked at my house after school, but I was working on college applications at the time and dealing with mental health issues and family troubles of my own, so I told her that I didn’t have time anymore.

We still talked at school, and she seemed okay with that, but after a few weeks she started calling me late at night and showing up unannounced. Whenever I said I was busy, she‘d wait at my doorstep until I let her in out of guilt.

I eventually told her to talk to her parents and find a real therapist, but she said that she hates her parents and doesn’t trust therapists. She also didn’t want to speak to her other friends because “she didn’t want to bother them”.

Then I snapped and told her if she didn’t want to bother her friends, then why was I the exception? I said that I had my own problems and responsibilities to handle, and I couldn’t manage her mental state when my own wasn’t even stable.

She cut off all connections with me. Later her boyfriend messaged me and said that I shouldn’t have abandoned my friend when her problems became “too inconvenient” for me. I told him that I was never qualified to be a therapist in the first place, and that being one had made my own mental health problems worse. He said I was just making excuses. ######

Response: NTA you don’t owe her therapy sessions, especially when you have your own problems. you did the right thing telling her to get a therapist, it’s not your fault you snapped. ######


Prompt:
My mum has always been pretty dramatic, she is a severe alcoholic and I would have cut her out of my life completely already if it weren’t for me trying to stay in contact with my two step sisters (aged 9 & 10) who still live with her. I (24f) don’t live with them.

She has caused a major string of events this year already which has taken a major strain on my mental health. My dad and other sister (30f) who refuse to speak with my mum keep reminding me how she’ll never change and she’ll only continue to make me feel worse about myself.

I tried begging my mother to give up the alcohol for a while and hopefully rekindle our relationship, and I was really proud of her 26 day achievement.. but then she relapsed hardcore.

This time she was vulgar and rude, she degraded me in ways which I took really personally. She mentioned how I failed to do certain things in the past and perhaps I should try harder in the future..

I stopped talking to her, I blocked and deleted her.
Fast forward-
I had her children (my step-sisters) over on Saturday.. mum called off sisters phone.. mum was drunk again at 11am demanding to talk to me.
I was reluctant but had no choice to talk to her, she was curious as to why I have blocked her.. she does not remember any of the drunkenly rude things she said to me and more importantly, she said “well I’m not gonna apologise for something I don’t remember saying” “you’re the one with issues, we’re family, I thought we were friends”

I hung up and blocked her. I was upset with her response and felt it was unfair.

I’m tired of having to ‘forgive and forget’.. I’m tired of the fact that she makes me feel like garbage about myself.

basically.. AITA for not giving my mum an explanation for why I no longer want to speak to her? ######

Response: NTA you don’t owe anyone an apology for not associating with them when they treat you like shit. Your mother obviously doesn’t want help, or isn’t ready to get help and if you find it’s best for you to not be in contact with her, you’re better off not speaking to her. Hopefully your step sisters can get somewhere safe. The system is flawed, but don’t give up on your siblings. ######


Prompt:
My husband (30m) and I (30f) are expecting our first child, a girl. I'm 30 weeks along, and we're very excited, as are our families. I've always gotten along with my Mother In Law, so this was pretty surprising.

Unfortunately, his grandma passed away recently, and his family is understandably devastated. My MIL (Grandma's only daughter) asked us if we would consider naming the baby after Grandma. We haven't fully picked out a name yet, so ordinarily we'd consider it, but there's one big issue with the name: His grandma's first name was Hermione. In case anyone doesn't know, Hermione is a main character in the Harry Potter series and it's a pretty uncommon name, so anyone who met our daughter would assume she's named after that Hermione (who I have nothing against, I do like the books and movies). Harry Potter is so popular that I'm positive that she'd be teased for it.

MIL called us again last night, asking about the name, and we said we didn't want to name her after Grandma. MIL asked why, and we said that since Harry Potter is so popular, she'd be teased about it and asked questions about it her whole life. MIL got upset, and was crying a little. She said "we cared more about some books and movies than her dead mother" and that we were "dishonoring" Grandma and proved that we didn't care about her or MIL.

We've since been getting texts from FIL and SIL saying that we were breaking MIL's heart and ruining Grandma's memory. I was talking with my sister about it, and she said we should at least consider it as a middle name and shouldn't have been so negative with MIL.

I'm feeling guilty, since Grandma was a very kind person and I'd like to honor her memory somehow, and maybe we should have compromised somehow? AITA? ######

Response: NTA You don’t have to name your daughter anything you don’t want to and to think that your in laws feel entitled enough to make your daughter for you is a major red flag. You need to make boundaries now before they take it too far ######


Prompt:
So I get a snap from him, saying he “missed me”. I admit, I shouldn’t have been so rude because I said, “Miss me? You never talked to me and when you did you were insulting me or my appearance” And he said “I’m sorry if I hurt you” which is one of my pet peeves. And he kept pressing me asking me to forgive him and how he’s trying to be a better person. So I just proceeded to write a big ass paragraph about how I never wanted to be associated with him and I told him to never reach out to me again, then I promptly blocked him. I know this was high school, but shit like bullying sticks with you. My self-esteem was at an all time low when he picked on me. He was one of the main reasons I had to switch schools in the first place. So AITA?

Edit: fuck it I got more to say. When I left that school I graduated with straight A’s, got involved in local theatre productions and I’m happy with the way I turned out. I’m not about to bring that guy back in my life

Edit 2: Ngl, this ordeal reminds me of that Tom and Jerry episode where Tom can’t go to heaven unless Jerry forgives him. ######

Response: NTA you don't owe people forgiveness just because they ask for it. ######


Prompt:
Brother and Sister in law are between buying and selling houses. It appears as though the dates of closings aren’t lining up and they are short what they need for the deposit on new place. Brother has asked if I can give them a short term loan of approx 30k for their down payment which they will payback as soon as the other houses closes as they are under contract on both properties.

I said yes, but to have his lawyer draw up a contract stating the terms of the loan. Which are none just that I am loaning X amount of dollars to be repaid by X date.

My brother got all outraged saying “I can’t believe you would ask that, I’m your brother. I didn’t want to borrow money from you because I knew you were going to do this.” Hung up and now is pissed off at me.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA you don't need a lawyer to draw up a simple promissory note (online templates), but you do need a promissory note before lending 30k to anyone - especially someone who yells at you for daring to insist on documentation of the loan. ######


Prompt: I was at a party with my friends and everyone was either drunk or high. It was a good time, one thing led to another and a lot of us girls were topless. There is a male friend in our group who takes candid pictures of us everytime we hang out because he likes to capture the moment. And that's what he did when we were topless. I think I was the only one who noticed so I went up to him later in the night and asked him to delete them. He was not sober at all so he says he doesnt remember this conversation. Basically, I asked him to delete the photos and he straight up said no. I'm not a confrontational person so I let it go. He went to bed and while i was sitting with everyone else, I told them what had happened. They got absolutely enraged and grabbed his phone while he was asleep to delete the pictures off of it. The next day, the guy who took the pictures found out what had happened and messaged me and basically told me that I should have asked him directly instead of making a huge deal out of it. I told him that I did and he said he didnt remember and I should've waited till he was sober and asked him again before dragging his name through the mad. I feel absolutely horrible because maybe he's right and I made a big deal about it for no reason. In the moment, I just wanted the photos deleted because it was stressing me out and as a girl, something like that could ruin my life. Am I the asshole for not asking him a second time and going directly to my friends? ######

Response: NTA you didn't overreact. you didn't consent to those photos being taken, even if you did you reserve the right to change your mind and request deletion. you did and was met with a no, so you took matters into your hands. your friend needs to get over it. if it was just as easy for you to ask him to get rid of it you would have. not your fault he can't remember being an asshole about it. ######


Prompt:
So for contexts I(26f) watch this elder lady(81f) while her son and daughter in law are at work

So they have a pool that is fenced off so unless you go threw the house or the back gate you can’t get it it. Well while I was watching her these kids came up and asked to go swim and I told them no as I didn’t want to watch them swim and try to keep an eye on the person I’m being paid to watch. Well the mom came over and told me that they had permission to swim whenever they wanted as long as someone was home( the kids were maybe 10 and 14) but the home owners never told me of this so I told the mother that I couldn’t watch the kids.

Well the next day as I was telling the homeowners what happened the day before she told me I was ruining her relationship with her neighbors and I should of just let the kids going swimming.

I’m paid to watch the older lady not the kids and if anything were to happen I know I would be held responsible. ######

Response:
 NTA you did the smart thing. Pools are a huge liability.

Make it known, that you are only paid to watch the mother and maybe they should invest in backyard cameras because if anything happens your responsibility begins and ends with a call to 911.

They are putting you in a sticky spot. Don't ever say yes to these kids. Tell their mother to manage the pool relationship directly with the homeowners ######


Prompt:
 My (22m) dad (49m) just got home with his girlfriend. As soon as they walk in all I hear is him yelling and calling her some fucked up names. Then they start arguing out in the front yard. Fyi my dad was 100% the aggressor and his girlfriend was just crying and trying to talk to him while he was screaming at her.

 He came inside and locked the door leaving her outside. I heard her saying she needs her keys. (She doesn't live with us). My dad told her she wasn't getting them. This is when I decide to step in.

 I confronted my dad and we got into a heated argument. He said I'm a bastard for getting into his business and a traitor for taking her side. I told him that I watched him treat my mom like shit for their entire marriage and I wasn't about to watch him verbally abuse another woman. That really pissed him off. He bowed up to me then told me I "wasn't worth it" then went into his bedroom.

 I saw his girlfriend's purse on the table and walked out front and gave it to her and she left. My dad found out I helped her and told me to get out of his house because I took her side. Really though I just wanted her to be able to leave. I took nobody's side.

Am I the asshole for helping her because now I feel like I betrayed him. ######

Response: NTA you did right and justice is served ######


Prompt:
Background: After moving in with my then gf, now wife, I started renting out my old house to college kids (it abuts campus). I live ~2 hours away, but have good friends and family nearby the house.

Last fall, I got a call from one of my tenants that they turned on the heat and nothing happened. For most things, I'll take a weekend and drive over to fix an issue and see people. Heat though needs to be solved ASAP. I found a local HVAC company that could come out the next day (for a roll truck fee) and see what was up. I told them it was a rental, and they said they were used to that, and that no work would be done without my authorization.

The next day, I get a text from my renter that the guy came out, that the thermostat was wired wrong (previous renter had put on a Nest, and I didn't test heat when he moved out, just AC. My mistake), and that he fixed it. Cool. Sounds like 5minutes of work, so I guess it was included in the diagnostic.

Then I get a credit card charge for $270. I call to see what's up, and the office thought the tech had called me and I authorized the work. Nope. I never would have paid $270 for fixing the wiring on a thermostat. I could have had a friend pop over for a 6-pack of beer.

The office puts me on with the tech, and he gives me two choices, pay the fee, or he's going back and unwiring the thermostat. I tell him, no. I didn't authorize the repair, the charge is ridiculous, and he's not allowed back in my house. (I can't trust him not to break things worse). After some back and forth, we come to an agreement. He'll refund the charge, but they'll never work for me again. Cool with me, as I don't want to work with extortionists.

I call the office to close the loop and let them know what their tech did, and find out he's the owner of the company. Eesh.

So, AITA for not paying the fee or letting him back in to undo what he did? ######

Response: NTA you did not authorize it and under no circumstances should simply changing wires on a thermostat be $270 that’s ridiculous. Do you guys have anyone you can report them to there? ######


Prompt:
My sister and I are both engaged. My fiancé and I (21f and 24m) have been engaged a year and have been slowly planning, finally setting on a date in October.

My sister and her fiancé (24f and 26m) are planning on getting married in August. I think I had my date set first but it was pretty close time frame so we decided around the same time.

While talking to my mom about what we decided my sister asked “Oh October of next year?” And I said no, October this year. She looked at me and was like “You can’t get married in October because I’m getting married in August. It’s too close together. I think there should be a year between our weddings.” I told her that’s silly and we can get married in the same year and expecting me to wait another year is silly. She told me since she’s older she should get married first, she should get the attention and I should wait. My mom said it does make sense that she’s older she should get her time first.

I think that’s silly and so does my fiancé but our whole family pretty much agrees I should wait until next year so she can have her time.

AITA for thinking it’s silly and not wanting to wait another year?

Info to add: my fiancé and I have been together since I was 19, live together and are independent so it’s not a matter of “You’re too young to get married” (at least I don’t think. That was never brought up. Just that she’s older so she should get to go first) ######

Response:
 NTA you could have the wedding a week after there's it doesn't matter its your wedding.

A wedding isn't just a day where you get all the attention you want, by the sounds of this that's all your sister and even mother seem to care about. ######


Prompt:
I live in a 4 bedroom apartment with 3 other guys. I haven’t had any issues with any of them up until now when the roommate on my side started dating this girl and she basically moved. This doesn’t particularly bother me but her kid is living here now. He didn’t ask any of us if this was okay (obviously I would’ve said hell no regardless). Kids are, by nature, noisy. She’s like 6, so she’s gonna play and be a kid. However, I didn’t sign up to live with a kid.

I was going to talk to him about it and let him know that it wasn’t cool that the kid lives here. But I think I’m just going to report it to the leasing office. He didn’t give us the decency of asking, so I figure why should I?

For God sakes, he doesn’t know any of us that well and they leave her to sleep in the living room (our common space) and all of her stuff is out there. I would be worried for my kids safety and be super uncomfortable with that - you never know what kind of people you’re around.

Am I the asshole here if I report him? ######

Response: NTA you could all get evicted if your landlord finds out. better to be ahead of it. ######


Prompt:
AITA

Two years ago some friends (a couple) approached me and asked me if I would be willing to clean their apt in exchange for a headshot session.  The husband was a photographer, I’d seen his work, I was fine with this agreement.  I spent about 20hrs cleaning their apt (I have videos of progress using my steam cleaner, before and after pics, etc.). They moved away, but the husband promised he’d be back at least once a month for other photography gigs, so our headshot session “would get done.”  He never came back.  They moved out of state.  I reached out several times asking to come to an agreement on a $ amount instead.  I was ignored.  Now, they got divorced and don’t speak to one another.  The wife is now telling me she had nothing to do with it and I should have said something sooner.  Am I the asshole here?! I’m pretty sure they are!  And I’d freaking sue if I had their new addresses.  But seriously, is it possible I’m the asshole?!? ######

Response: NTA you clearly aren’t the asshole. But next time take money upfront. ######


Prompt:
This is a really dumb problem but I need an outside opinion.

Ok so back with Pokemon sun and moon came out, my husband(29) and I (28) decided to surprise out kids(6m 8f) with switches. To make this clear, we bought 3 switch lites, 1 normal switch( we wanted 1 to connect to the tv for family games), 2 copies of sun, 2 copies of moon then a copy of mario party. As you can imagine, this cost us a pretty penny but for us it was worth it.

Anyway, when we gave them to the kids, we told them the rules for them. This is their first systen that's solely theirs so we made sure they knew if they broke the rules or they werent taking care of them, we would take them and they would have to earn them back. One of the big rules is we dont take someone else's switch or games without permission, including mom and dads. Everyone has their own so theres no reason to. So far I've only had to take them a few times(they thought games were more important than homework and one got thrown once)

That leads us to a few days ago. I caught my son hiding my switch in his room so he could play online without permission(this is a rule for all the game systems). I confronted him about it and told him he was losing gaming privileges for 3 days and took his switch. I thought I was being fair but my friend messaged me asking if my son wanted to get on and play a game with her son. When I told her he was grounded from it but would have it back in a few days, she said I was being unreasonable and I couldnt expect a 6 year old to follow rules like that. I told her I was sorry she thinks that but I laid out the rules and he broke 2 of them, his age is not an excuse. We argued about it before I hung up.

AITA here? I think in being reasonable but our mom group seems to think I'm being an ass about it. ######

Response: NTA you certainly can expect a 6 year old to follow rules like that. She probably just wants him to be able to entertain her kid. ######


Prompt: We've been together for 16 years and have always had multiple dogs. We currently have 4--2 Akitas, a Rottweiler and a Westie. About a year ago, her grandson was bitten by his dog (at his home) and ever since then my wife has become increasingly hostile to our dogs (No lasting damage to the boy). Now she has them barricaded in the back yard and a small section of the kitchen whenever she is home. She was the driving force in buying each of these dogs. She picked out every one of them. She named them. I love them all like crazy. I don't like seeing them treated differently. She says it is not because of her grandson being bitten by another dog--rather, they are just dogs and she is tired of fur/sweeping/cleaning. I told her the time to have figured that out is before you got 'em and now they are members of the family (And have been for 8 years, 7, 6 and 2...so not a new situation). She thinks I am picking the dogs over her. Hell, maybe I am. But, problems and all, they are total love. AITA? ######

Response: NTA you can’t just throw them away like they’re products these are living beings and they deserve to be treated well ######


Prompt:
I've always hated my name because it's really uncommon and my teachers and even some of my friends pronounce it incorrectly (even after several corrections). I eventually got sick of it and researched legal name changes and the procedures and decided to save up for a name change after asking my mum and dad (to which they answered yes).

Last week I told my parents that I'd saved up $300 from chores and my birthday money. I told them that it's more than enough for the name change with post, handling etc. and they told me how proud they were about me being able to handle money like that.

Beginning of this week, I gathered up almost all the ID that I needed and put it in a folder. I couldn't find the envelope with my money so I started asking my parents and they told me they hadn't seen it. I looked all around the house and couldn't find the money. The entire time, my parents just sat there watching me and didn't help look for it when I asked. In the end I just gave up and thought it would turn up some time or another.

This morning my parents took me aside and told me that they needed to tell me something. They said that we'd be going to a ski resort in a few week's time, and that they'd used my money to pay for some of it because "we all need to do our bit because we're a bit tight on money right now". I was furious. I started shouting at them for taking my savings without telling me and using it for something that we didn't even need. They argued that I'm an ungrateful bitch for wanting to change my name that they'd chosen for their little girl and that I'd grown up with it and never complained until now. I left the room and took a walk, during which my parents proceeded to text all our relatives and friends about the incident.

I came back to find my phone blowing up with 200+ messages from my aunts and uncles telling me I should apologise for being so petty and thankless. I have no idea what to do and I haven't talked to my parents since then. So reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA You can eventually change your name, but they will not change the fact that they deserve your mistrust. Keep saving and don't tell them, it might take longer than you wanted but you will get there. They can also go alone to ski, I doubt it's something you would enjoy being reminded, that they made you pay for it when you didn't want it. I can imagine how "creative" your parents feel choosing your name, but probably not as creative as Elon Musk, maybe you can start requesting people to address you by your chosen name as a nick name for the time being. ######


Prompt:
Hey everyone,

&#x200B;

now I am in a bit of a tricky situation and don’t know how to handle it. My GF borrowed my almost new drone, because she wanted to make some short videos of her new sport activities for me.

I had previously given her a very detailed instruction on what to do and what NEVER to do at all like disabling the automated Anti-Crash system. Well, she disabled it, because with it on the drone will never go lover then 0,5m and she needed it to follow low.

While following her, the drone hit a bench at Full Speed, repair impossible, about 3.200€ to replace it.
Now here is the thing: She is not included in my drone Insurance and has non herself so she has to pay it from her own money. While her Job is not bad, that Money would take her savings of almost 2 years while my job pays way better and I save the sum up in 2-3 month depending on Workload.

I feel bad for having her loose all her hard earned money while it’s kinda nothing for me to pay it but on the other hand I don’t feel like I should have to pay for the damage I did not do.

I will probably decide by your answers what to do. ######

Response: NTA you break it you pay for it ######


Prompt:
Hi

I just got asked on the train if I was willing to move or move my sons to the other side of the isle thereby going from travelling forward to backward in the train by a mother with a young girl, roughly age five, maybe six. The question was asked politely and the reason for it was travelling sickness. After I said no the daughter started crying and the mum said -"I'm so sorry but a no is a no." and -"I understand that you don't want to puke.". She was able to switch later and her parting comment was -"Some people are really nice.".

I sympathies with both mother and daughter, both sons have been suffering from travelling sickness and I've been washing the cars plenty times when they were younger. My reason now for not changing is that I booked the tickets in April to get good and cheap seats since I really want to have a smooth ride. We're spending 12 hours on trains today and even though they don't get travel sick the same way they did when younger neither of us can sit and use screens when going the "wrong" way.

So AITA since I choose to keep the good seats so that we have an easier trip despite the fact that getting really sick of course is worse? Basically saying that our boredom is more of an issue then her daughter puking. ######

Response: NTA you booked seats that were best for your needs.  The other mother had the same options to book specific seats ######


Prompt:
My mother has this habit of asking me questions with no context behind them and then getting mad at me when I give her what she deems as the wrong answer. For example, she asked me this morning if I wanted to come to the grocery store with her, to which I said no. She then got annoyed because she didn’t want to go alone and wanted help with the shopping - something she never mentioned in her question.

I decided to confront her about it because I normally don’t and this happens way too often, and I said that she shouldn’t have given me a choice, and when I said no, it was unfair of her to get mad. She should have said something like “would you come to the store with me because I’d like help with the groceries?” I told her this and she just shut me down again saying that she can never get anything right and that she can never win.

Am I the asshole for thinking she’s being stupid and am I the asshole for finally calling her out? ######

Response: NTA you asked her to be more direct. That's totally fine. ######


Prompt:
I'm a white person (20F), although some people have called my country equivalent of the n-word before because i look somewhat racially ambiguous.

Now i was playing games with my friend (22M) when he casually called me the n-word, not in the use of friend, but "you fucking n-word". I asked him to please not call ME that and he went quiet for a bit before he left the call. Then i found out he had wrote to a friend of ours, that was in the call, saying i was policing his speech. Some friends said i'm right and it was a small request to not be called something, and it shouldn't have mattered.

Some friends said that I'm white and therefore shouldn't be uncomfortable with being called it.

Btw for the record, i wasnt a dick about it or got angry the first time he said it, i calmy said "please would you mind not calling me that". ######

Response:
 NTA you aren’t policing his speech you are just asking him not to call you something.
I‘m trans yet I don’t call my friends trannys just cause I reclaimed the slur for myself ######


Prompt:
First post here and I know the title is ridiculous but I’m being yelled at for it by my roommates.

Most of the time we’ve all lived together, we have ordered out. We have had a few home cooked meals. And earlier tonight was one of those times. They made me do the dishes used to cook the food, which I was ok with.

But they tried making me do their dishes and our friends that were over dishes and tried to say they do that for me all the time which is not true bc I haven’t forgotten to wash them once.

I know this is a silly thing but like I mtired of being ridiculed and yelled at for things that only my roommates do and they know it.

AITA for not wanting to keep doing others dishes they purposely leave and try to make me do? ######

Response: NTA you aren't their dishwasher lol ######


Prompt: So, my (23f) sisters (22f, 20f, 18f) are all home from college right now. So there are a lot of girls in the house and a lot of periods. I mostly use cloth pads, but when I have to use a disposable (mainly if I'm traveling or out of the house for a whole day, I hate carrying used pads in my purse) I have to use an expensive natural brand (7th Generation) because I have sensitive skin. If I try to use Always or store brands... it's not good. My sisters keep taking my expensive pads. I've asked them nicely 1-3 times each to please not take my pads. They said okay, sorry and continued to take them. So today when I was at the dollar store for groceries I went ahead and picked up some of the cheapest pads. 10 for a buck. These are one of the few cheap brands I can use and they work just fine, they are just bulky so I would rather not. I went ahead and hid my pads in my room. I put the pads in a basket that said "PADS FOR MOOCHERS". When my middle sister saw it she got mad. She said the sign was insulting and the pads I got were "horrific garbage". My other sisters and mom agreed. They want me to put my pads back in the bathroom because I "don't use them that much anyway". I said sure if they chip in for the cost but they said no because their student jobs closed down when the colleges did. So for some reason I should have to pay for their pads even though my job is closed too. I do have some savings but my parents were able to keep working from home and would gladly give them a bit of spending money if they asked nicely. I think maybe I should have just put the pads out without a sign but was I really the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA you aren't even obligated to buy them shitty pads. They should be thanking you. ######


Prompt:
I recently just started going to the gym because I am unhappy with my weight. I’m working with a personal trainer and doing a program that requires I do meal preparation from a specific cookbook. I now have to prepare seperate lunch and dinner from my wife, who refuses to eat what I’m cooking. This means that I buy my own individual groceries, while my wife orders from those companies that deliver fresh meals in individual bags that you cook yourself. These bags take up almost the entire fridge. I rearranged the fridge, and gave myself a single shelf so that I could keep my groceries and meals in a single place.
When I told my wife I’d like her to leave that shelf for me she got really pissed at me, and called me selfish. She said she didn’t want to have to think about where she’s putting things in the fridge.
This blew over, but today I saw a new tub of butter sitting on my shelf. I thanked my wife for buying it for me. She acted surprised and said she just bought butter it wasn’t especially for me. I mentioned it was on my shelf and she’s said “I forgot.” This really pissed me off, especially after the big fight. Am I the Asshole? ######

Response: NTA you are working on your health and your partner should be more supportive. One shelf compared to the rest of the fridge is not asking too much especially if you now have a unique diet. Also fridge organization is important. Certain sections of the fridge can make food last or spoil depending on levels of humidity. A lot of fridge space is wasted due to being unorganized causing food lose. ######


Prompt:
I’ve had my horse for a few months now.

He’s very young and green (green means not trained much). He’s getting ridden by many of my friends who I trust to ride him at the barn. There is a girl and her mother who are very jealous about me owning a horse.

This girl and her mother have been nothing ,but vile to me. Her daughter is a self centered bitch and her mother just lets her get away with it! Her mother asked my coach about riding my horse. Coach said ask my mother. She asked my mother about letting her daughter ride my horse. I refused because a girl who has not been nice to me cannot ride my animal. All of my buddies get to ride my horse because they have been kind to me. My mother tells her no and the mother goes off asking why not?

They’ve been giving me glares when I’m in the aisle.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA You are under no obligation to let her ride your horse. You should not let someone you don't trust interact with your animals for the well being of your animals. And I suspect there is potential legal liability if she got hurt riding your horse, so it makes no sense to let her ride your horse no matter how you look at it. ######


Prompt:
So a little back ground. My BIL and SIL son (16m) lives with me and has since February. I have temporary legal guardianship of him. My food stamps recently came up for renewal and I added him on yesterday (4/27) I messaged them today to let them know and they lost their shit on me. They have been claiming him for cash aid and food stamps even though he no longer lives with them. I have 2 children of my own who I also take care and provide for. They are demanding I take him off the application so they can get more money (they don’t have jobs) so they can move out of my father in law’s apartment.

1) I can’t do that. It was an online app and it can not be deleted
2) I have never lied on my application and refuse to do so. I will not be one of those assholes who abuses the system.

Because I have done this the state will now find out they have been lying for 3 months and do a investigation and find that they also weren’t claiming the money their son was making for 6 months (he had a job at the time) this is not the first time they have been caught lying to welfare.

Now I’m being called an asshole cuz I refuse to lie to the state so they can get more money. My head is spinning around this how thing. Help. ######

Response: NTA You are under no obligation to help them commit fraud. And if he’s under your care he’s your dependent not theirs. ######


Prompt:
My mom (55F) raised me by herself.

I (25M) was always told that my dad (57M) never loved me and ran out on me, that he left us. Well it turns out that I have been lied to for a long time.

For the first time in over 20 years, my bio dad found me last year and contacted me. I was filled with rage but also curiosity so I met up with him and he explained his side of the story. He said that he wanted custody of me and that my mom had lied about why he left, that it was her who cheated on him and left him for a guy (this guy was in my life for the first few years but I only heard stories of him. Mom told me he was a good guy and they met through mutual friends).

I didn't know what to make of it until I confronted my mom in rage and she admitted that it was true, my dad did try and get custody and that it was her who cheated on him.

Anyway I was shown proof that this man is 100% my bio dad and we got closer... as I got closer to him over the year, it became apparent that my mom had outright lied about everything and filled my head with nonsense about him.

As I attended therapy this year I have finally been able to somewhat process this and have decided that I had enough of my mom and her pack of lies. When I met with her I said to her that I can't forgive her and that I want nothing to do with her. I said its over and she began crying and breaking down but I said it is what it is and got out.

Then my aunt showed up at my door and called me asshile and how could I do this to my mother. But how could she do this to me? AITA? ######

Response: NTA you are processing a lifetime. Stay in therapy and consider that someday you may want to have your mom back. For now, give yourself permission to do want you need for you. ######


Prompt:
I’m 21 years old. I live with my parents and work at a fast food place while I’m going to a community college. I work hard for the money I earn, even though my family says I don’t need to work.

A high school friend of mine (21f) and I started messaging again through social media. We used to be very close, but we stopped talking for multiple reasons.

One thing that kind of irritates me now is that when we hang out she can’t help with the bill because she has no money. I don’t mind treating her to drinks or dinner every once in a while. However, our mutual friend is coming back to the states and we all want to have fun and go places (once quarantine allows us).

Our friend that’s coming back (21f) will have money from her parents to cover her, but the other friend won’t because she doesn’t work. Even though she’s able-bodied, has a car, and a bachelors degree; she won’t get a job or apply for any services to help her. Yet she feels “sorry” for me because of the job that I have, and she looks down on her dad’s pregnant girlfriend for getting government aid to feed her children.

My mom says I should be more understanding because her family situation is rough and she’s my friend. It’s just hard to sympathize when we ALL want to go out and have fun and do things that cost money, yet I’m the only one who’d be able to cover her because I’m the only one working. Not to mention that I work as a MINIMUM WAGE FAST FOOD EMPLOYEE, and the fact that she’s a grown adult who is capable of working too.

Yes, I have my parents to back me up, but they already give me a roof over my head and a car to drive. I’m not going to ask my parents to give me an allowance or some cash because I want to go shopping with my friends. I have a savings and my job pays well for what I need, but I don’t want to spend it all on someone who wants to have fun but won’t work. ######

Response:
 NTA you are NOT selfish with money, that other one is a mooch and they will keep on mooching till you say no.

I wholy support you saying no since she doesnt sound very respectful either ######