Prompt:
I was dating my wife for 8 years before I proposed. We lived together for most of that time and it just didn't feel like it would make any difference. Finally I proposed and just a month after the proposal we found out that she was pregnant. With that discovery we decided to postpone plans to get married until after he was born and everything was settled in a bit.

Fast forward to our wedding with our baby. While we had him by our side for the majority of it, every now and then a family member would volunteer to watch him for a short bit. Queue my wife's mother saying that she wanted to watch him for a little while.

Now I can tell many stories about why the MIL is not a responsible adult, but I'll keep it simple for the sake of this post. I thought it'd be fine since there were people everywhere and in my head "I had to start trusting her at some point". I was wrong and I'm happy that it stayed as tame as it did.

My son was teething and gave her a small bite on the MILs arm. I didn't see it but apparently she put him into the wet grass and just walked away saying "shit, he's lucky I didn't throw him". She left him there with no one close by watching him. My mother saw this from a distance and scooped him up. She told me about it later.

So... I didn't much trust this person beforehand but the event solidified my stance. It's been four years now. I never talked to the MIL about what happened. I just told the wife that the MIL will never watch him or even be left alone in the same room as him. She wasn't happy about it but didn't argue against it either. When the MIL has offered to watch him I dance around the issue and I think that she has gotten wise to the fact that even though I'm friendly to her, I wouldn't trust her to make a sandwich for my son let alone watch him.

All of this has soured relations a bit but frankly, that hasn't changed anything for me. So... AITA for never letting the MIL watch her grandson? ######

Response:
 NTA. If things happened as you've said your MiL cannot be left in charge of a child. They are unpredictable and can throw tantrums or be upset. Is her reaction to a tantrum in a mall going to be to just walk away again?

Your wife is on your side, if only just. On some level she must know about her mother's questionable behaviour or she may be in the fog. Might be worthwhile checking out r/justnomil. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé and I were supposed to get married at the end of this month, obviously it’s been moved. We’re now planning on the beginning of January of 2021.

I’m Asian-American, half Chinese half Japanese, but no one in my family has lived in Asia since my maternal grandmother. And she’s the only one. Everyone else directly related to me was born in America and lives here. I don’t follow any Chinese or Japanese customs, I don’t speak the language, I’m completely American. If I was white you wouldn’t be able to tell I had Asian roots. But I’m not white obviously.

My fiancé’s parents have always been a little racist. They’ve made off hand remarks here and there that were a bit suspect, but I tried not to over think them and ignored it. But a few days ago my fiancé was video chatting with them and I sat down with him to say hi. His mom then says “you’re lucky you didn’t catch it from her”. My fiancé mad a bit of a half assed effort to explain that’s not how it works, but he got talked over and then he gave up.

Afterwards I told him he had to confront his parents about it and at least make them stop saying that kind of thing in front of me. They can think whatever the hell they want, but to my face they should at least be trying to be respectful.

He claimed he already tried and nothing came of it, etc etc, but I don’t think he’s ever truly confronted them, just told them how they were wrong. I told him that unless he confronts them they can’t come to the wedding.

He got mad and said that I’m going overboard and it’s unfair to try and pressure him to choose like that. I’m not making him choose, I just want him to talk some sense into him.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If they're like this now, can you imagine what they'd be like around your future mixed children?? If he cannot stand up for you and have the courage to tell them that they better knock it off or it's no contact, then I don't know, but that would be a deal-breaker for me. (experience with my white father and Asian mother and dad's racist parents - he cut off from his family and stayed by my mother's side) ######


Prompt:
I logged my mom's Netflix account on my dad's house (they're divorced) so that me and my brother could watch a movie.

Today I went to the living room and my dad's friends were watching Netflix in my mom's profile and didn't stop even after a told them that.

I called my mom and told her what was going on and she told me we should change the password and since she doesn't know how to do it, I did it.

Obviously after that the series my dad's friends were watching stopped working and asked for the new password, they started asking me what was going on and I pertended I didn't know.

They called my dad and he told me to call my mom (I didn't because I had just talked to her).

Now they are all bummed out about it and I feel kinda bad AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If they're divorced, your dad should get his own account. ######


Prompt: Hey guys! I F(21) have a very strained relationship with my father. Last year I walked in on him having an affair in our home. Prior to that he had been unfaithful to my mom on some other occasions (3 times total). After the incident during my freshman year of high school I made it clear to him if he did it again, he’d be dead to me. He did it again, and I made the decision to cut him out of my life. My mom had different plans though, she let him move back in after barely a month and started to bug me to talk to my dad again. This included inviting him on vacations, over for holidays, when I came back from university. In summary I stopped coming back home altogether. However because of covid I had to move back home, because the dorms shut down. My dad’s living at home too, and I’ve been struggling with it. My mom thinks because she forgave him, and the infidelity was in their relationship, I should move on. So she asks me to do things involving my dad, like text him, or call him, or help her buy him things, but I refuse because I am still uncomfortable with the situation. She tells me I’m using my discomfort as an excuse to be lazy, and that I’m ungrateful. Her forcing our relationship put a huge strain on her and my relationship and I’m having a lot of trouble staying home. I even got a full time job, just so I have an excuse to be out of the house for 40-50 hours a week. Am I being the asshole for not forgiving my dad about the affair, even though my mom did? ######

Response: NTA. If they wanted to keep it between them and their marriage they shouldn’t have involved you at all. But since you witnessed the affair, and since you are their child, it now becomes your business. You’re allowed to have an opinion on it. ######


Prompt: So I live in a small rented apartment with two other women. We don't hang out much and more live together for convenience. Recently I've started noticing that my milk is running out faster than I've been drinking it. I'm vegan so I drink dairy free oat milk. I'm pretty confident that I know who it is but every time I confront her she denies it. My friend suggested that I fill the carton with normal milk as she is lactose intolerant. I think it's a good idea but I don't want to go to far. So WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA. If they say they’re not drinking your milk they should have nothing to worry about right? ######


Prompt:
So as a kid I (22f) was “the black sheep” aka I was the emo that everyone in the family made an effort to avoid and that carried on into my adult life (to a lesser extent) but I still wasn’t invited to things like weddings and family gatherings (I was however invited to go out clubbing).
Two years ago I’d invited all my immediate family, my parents siblings and their kids and my grandparents over for Christmas dinner or after drinks if they had other plans for dinner, everyone agreed that they would come over and would let me know when they’re on their way, cut to 9pm and I hadn’t heard from anyone but my younger cousin who sent me screenshots of everyone in a whatsapp group agreeing that there was no way they were coming over to my “dungeon” to sit and listen to “w*ist sl*shing” music” while eating “lettuce” (we’re a vegan household) so I thought ok cool you’ve all made your choices, I don’t NEED any of you and I won’t be missed so that’s the end of that.

Cut to last summer when I married my husband (27) I didn’t bother inviting any family but my cousin (and my dads sister as she’s always been the mother figure in my life) as we’d always been chill but I told her I understood if she didn’t want to come as I didn’t want to cause tension between her and the goblins so she FaceTimed me for the ceremony.

Now three weeks ago my family found out I had gotten married, I guess they went to the group chat and realised none of them had been invited so my uncle messaged me “so after everything we’ve done for you you couldn’t even let us know you were getting married” and then carried on calling me a selfish bitch and such, not inviting them was the right choice so I know I’m not the arsehole there but my cousin seems to think I’m the arsehole due to my reply of “stay mad hoes, I wanted the happiest day of my life to be filled with love, love NONE OF YOU have ever shown me. Don’t contact me again” as she believes him messaging me was an attempt to “reconnect” AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If they carry on send them the screen shot you were sent and ask them why would they be invited to a dungeon wedding full of scary music and lettus as they clearly hate that. 2 faced people are the worst. ######


Prompt:
I’m sure I’d be TA here but I wanted to double check because I’m an idiot.
I gave my girlfriends nephew $800 for his class trip. The trip cost around $2400USD & I felt generous after hearing his parents were struggling to meet the monthly payments. I gave it to him in private and really adore this kid.

Now, his class trip has been cancelled. His mother and father now have possession of the money and intend on using for their own purposes.
The money was a gift to him, not their family.

WIBTA if I asked for the money back? If not, I’m lost as to how to bring it up without coming across as a douchebag BIL.

Edit: it appears the money may be allocated towards a family vacation. Not sure how that changes people’s opinions. ######

Response: NTA. If they aren’t classy and decent enough to give it back or ask what you would like done with the money now that the trip has been canceled, you are well within your right to ask for it back. ######


Prompt: I have 6 sisters and they always want to group text. 3 are nurses and we have a niece who is a EMT so they are constantly texting about medical stuff. They share pictures that are gruesome. When they aren't doing that it's gossip about their high school classmates. My sisters graduated when I was in elementary school. I do not know their classmates. I have been asking since 2014 to please keep me out of unimportant group messages. At first it was because my phone bill was increasing because they wouldn't stop, so I had to get unlimited data and text. Then I asked because the medical stuff was just gross to me. They laughed and said no and too bad. Finally one day after over 100 random texts I sent a message telling them to get me out of it because I don't care about useless drama and medical stuff, I said if it's important please tell me otherwise idc. Well last week my nephew had brain surgery and my sister didn't tell me because I don't want group texts. I told them that anything involving my nieces and nephews are important but I guess if I don't want an endless stream of group texts I don't deserve to be told about things at all. ######

Response: NTA. If they are sharing gruesome pics from work without written patient consent, it’s also illegal. ######


Prompt:
I’m in charge of a team of people (industrial designers, if it matters) whose jobs involve daily meetings with others in the company to collaborate on projects and usually two or three clients to touch base on progress.

I jumped onto a client discussion recently to check in on a large project, and to my surprise found the person responsible for the call in a tank top in their living room. We usually do business in a pretty formal setting, when we typically come to work the most casual we get are jeans button downs/polos/sweaters, though a lot of times we need to go full jacket and tie/blouse and blazer.

So I sent an email out basically saying “Reminder as we all adjust to this new meeting format, use a plain background free from clutter and wear what you normally would for the same meeting in person.”

I immediately got angry emails that I’m not being compassionate enough and it shouldn’t matter because the clients/other employees know we’re at home and that further I can’t control what they do at home.

If I worked at any other job I’d think “Huh, I guess I was out of line to request this.” But I work with some people who are prone to being a little over sensitive, maybe because they’re mostly new to the working world.

Am I the asshole for asking them to dress up for virtual meetings? ######

Response:
 NTA. If they are meeting among themselves I believe it would be okay for them to be a little lax in dress, but when meeting clients they should be dressed as they normally would be in person. It does not matter that the client knows they are working from home. It shows the client that they only dress the part for work and not because they respect the client. In other words, you usually have a dress code as a way to portray professionalism. It also shows the client you take them(and yourself) seriously. If your team members are in tank tops during client meetings it shows the client that they are not invested in the relationship the company has with the client. It’s about professionalism and respect.

Tl;dr. Should be professional and respectful  in client meetings and maintain dress code. Meetings among team members could probably be a bit lax. ######


Prompt:
Divorce is weird. One part of our settlement was subscription services such as Amazon Prime, Netflix, etc.

I had to legally maintain them for 6 months. I don’t know if I was being taken advantage of, but it’s far too late now. Yesterday, when the 6 months were up, I cancelled every single subscription service I had and got new ones with a new credit card.

My ex was furious. Apparently, a couple of her orders got “cancelled” because the account got deleted. I mean, it’s my account, she could only use it for 6 months, and she did. She’s also complaining that she can’t afford Netflix now, with just her unemployment check. Yeah, because Netflix is a necessity.

A couple of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because “she’s struggling”. Yeah, I honestly don’t care. She’s not my SO, nor is she my friend. She had a net negative impact on my life.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If these services were that important to her, she had six months to save up the money to purchase them for herself. You did nothing wrong. ######


Prompt:
My (34F) boyfriend (35M) and I have been having a really rocky time in the relationship. I planned a nice treat for a picnic date that involved champagne and a spread of really nice food— as in, I spent an ungodly amount on cheese and charcuterie for us to enjoy.

He said that he would probably give some of it to his friends after because there was a lot there and I agreed so it wouldn’t go to waste.

However, he cut it up and planned on having it with his friends before we had the date. I said it was a mean thing to do and he said I was overreacting.

I usually pay for our groceries and this week, he contributed so he could get beers for his friends. He asked if I would respond the same way about the beer if he didn’t give money and I said, “fucking duh,” because I’m not here to pay for his friends.

I wouldn’t be as upset if he shared it after we had our time, but it feels like a dick move. AITA for getting mad or am I just being too sensitive? ######

Response: NTA. If there's food left over after the date then sharing it with his friends is NBD, but to do it beforehand seems inconsiderate to say the least. It sounds like he's telling you what his priorities are. ######


Prompt:
I was scrolling through the hub, when I saw this video that caught my attention. When I clicked on the video and saw the face, I was surprised. This person looked exactly like my friend from university. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions because it would be mad weird if I came up to her and said I saw her in this video and it wasn’t her. So, I wanted to make sure. I looked at photos of my friend and it was a legit match, there is no way that it is not her. Same everything. Key features that my friend has, that the girl in the video has. As she is my friend, I know she would never post something like this on the internet. Plus, from prior conversations, I know she is not dating the dude that was in the video. I looked at the profile that posted it and it looks like the guy is posting all his escapades for the world to see. Knowing her background and career goals, if this video were to spread, it could cause some serious problems for her in the future. I would feel gutted knowing that I could at least said something. I rather be safe than sorry. I talked to my cousin that doesn’t know her and asked for some advice because I want to have a sit down conversation with her. My cousin said I would be an Asshole because I’m putting myself into business that isn’t mine. My cousin says I should just leave it alone. I can agree that it comes off as weird. However, with all the stories I hear with people having “revenge videos” leaked of them, I don’t feel comfortable sitting by knowing this could happen to my friend. What should I do? Am I the Asshole? Thank you for the advice.

TLDR: Found a video of my friend “doing the do” on the internet. Cousin says I’m an Asshole if I let her know. I just want to make sure my friend is protected. ######

Response: NTA. If there was a video of me out there, I would want to know. Make it clear that you are not judging, it is completely her business and you're not telling anyone about it. You are only bringing it up because you don't think she is aware of the video, and if the roles were reversed you would want someone to tell you. There is really no way around the conversation being extremely awkward, but she does deserve to know ######


Prompt:
My cat eats meals and only gets a certain amount of food a day. He acts like he’s starving all the time. I even brought him to the vet and the vet said he was the perfect weight and he wasn’t sick, he just likes to eat. And if he ate more he would be fat.

My family thinks that the cat is not getting enough to eat. They try to sneak him food behind my back. I tell him he’s getting plenty to eat but they say it’s cruel to leave a cat feeling this hungry, he’s begging food off people and looking for food all the time. They think he should be eating more, at least another can of food at lunchtime, and again I’m being cruel to him and not giving him what his body needs.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. If the vet says he’s healthy keep doing what you’re doing.

There are cats that you can leave food out for and they will eat only when hungry... and then you have chonko cats who feel the need to eat everything in front of them.

Your cat meows and cries because he KNOWS someone will feed him. They’re reinforcing that behavior. When he gets whiny try distracting with playtime or toys or catnip or pets rather than food. ######


Prompt:
This argument happened over FaceTime but it was pretty big and my dad is furious at me and has been sending angry text messages so I’m taking it here.

I (32M) was FaceTiming my dad (57M) and his girlfriend (27F) on Tuesday when they surprised me that my dad had proposed. I don’t like my dads girlfriend and to be honest I think she’s only with him because he’s fairly well off. My dad cheated on my mum with the girlfriend and I’ve heard she was pretty ruthless in going after my dad and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I held my tongue and congratulated them and that was that.

Later that day I was skimming Facebook and his girlfriend has written this long Facebook post saying how excited she was to be getting married and that after 10 years together, she didn’t think he’d ever propose, how it had been a difficult start and lots of people didn’t accept their relationship (no shit, he was married) but she hopes everyone can be happy and accept they’re in love.

This pissed me off. She didn’t accept my parents were in love when she pursued my dad did she? So I commented saying maybe she would’ve been engaged before now if she had started dating a single man instead of running after married men.

My dad FaceTimed me this morning and BLEW UP saying he’d noticed his girlfriend upset and she’d eventually said something. Apparently she deleted the status but lots of people saw it. My dad is furious at me and says I need to apologise. I probably didn’t help by asking if she would apologise to me for ruining my family and destroying my mother.

My dad is now saying unless the next thing he hears from me is an apology, he doesn’t want to hear from me. I mentioned this to my girlfriend (32F) and she’s very diplomatic and doesn’t say anyone is an asshole so I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong and should just apologise.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. If the girlfriend can shamelessly publicly post like that after all they’ve done, then she deserves the post to be exposed like that. People who can cheat that badly don’t deserve the benefit of doubt.

10 years?? Doesn’t that mean that she was 17 and your dad was 47??? ######


Prompt: i like to play guitar a lot. lately, ive been playing it more than usual because ive had time off. im not sure why, but my girlfriend isnt the biggest fan of me playing. maybe she just things im bad at it lol but usually when im playing, she’s upstairs anyway. i know its not because she wants me to spend time with her instead because every time i try to spend time with her shes on her phone. anyway, today i came home from publix and as soon as i came in, i saw she had thrown it down the stairs. there were no major damages (two of the strings popped, and the body has a hole in the bottom) and i know its just a stupid instrument but i feel like she shouldnt be throwing my stuff around so i told her to go home and i havent been talking to her. ######

Response:
 NTA. If someone you're in a relationship has no problem treating your possessions like trash, you shouldn't be in a relationship with them.

Also, if she never wants to spend time with you anyway and would rather just use her phone, why are you two even dating? ######


Prompt:
I got a Johnny Walker black label I usually share with people that don't like whiskey or wanna mix it with coke.

I currently live overseas so I only have a couple of bottles of a bourbon I particularly like. It's very expensive where I live and I don't know when I'll be able to go back to the States to get more.

WIBTA if I tell my friend she can't have my bourbon if she mixes it? ######

Response: NTA. If someone told me this is super expensive liquor and I don’t share, I’d shrug and say ok. Ok well I would maybe ask if I could try the tinsiest sip to say I’ve tried it, but I wouldn’t be pissed if that was a no. Alcohol is expensive!! Though if you offer and she says “yeah with coke” and then you say “oh you can’t have it then” that comes off pretentious and a bit rude. Ask how they take their whiskey first before deciding which to offer. ######


Prompt:
My daughter (preteen age) loves this TV show (I’m going to be vague for anonymity) and I applied on a whim. We got invited on the show and did some fun competitions for an episode. We didn’t win but my daughter still talks about it all the time.

My daughters father is not very involved. He shows up with ridiculous presents every once in a while but we don’t hear from him unless I encourage my daughter to call him. If it weren’t for his child support check showing up once a month, I wouldn’t know if he was dead or alive. He and I don’t talk.

I didn’t tell him about the show. The way I see it is that I have full legal and physical custody of my daughter and I don’t need his permission for anything. However, he found out about the show from his father (my daughter told him) and called me yelling at me for taking her on the show and not asking for his consent. He accused me of exploiting her for fame and misusing his child support. I ended up hanging up on him because he wouldn’t stop yelling. Am I the asshole for taking her on the show without telling or asking him? ######

Response: NTA. If someone isn't involved with the kid, they aren't involved in decisions regarding the kid. It sounds like your daughter enjoyed it and she is happy about the experience. That's the only person's opinion who should matter in this case. ######


Prompt:
Sorry this is long ... Anyway, I was once happily married with a newborn baby.
My sister on the other hand is a heroin addict and found herself evicted from her house and child services found her children malnourished and emaciated after having missed 92 days of school so they were taken from her.
So I took her into my home.
Once there, I had a long heart to heart with her and I told her I was going to pay for her to go to rehab. I took out a hefty personal loan to fund this, which I am still paying off.
After her stint in rehab she had to be signed into the care of somebody who was responsible for keeping her clean, once again I was all too happy to do it. The day she came home with me, she prostituted herself to my husband for drug money and overdosed that day.
My marriage effectively ended and she ended up dating him for several months!
7 years have passed now and I have heard from my family that she has now turned her life around and is a strong member of her local church and has even been baptized. They have been hounding me and hounding me that I should reach out to her and try to mend our relationship.
Im just not buying it. I feel like this is all just an angle she's playing and she hasn't changed at all, but now it's like I'm the asshole for not reaching out to the woman who destroyed my life because "she's changed" ######

Response: NTA. If she’s so “changed” she should be reaching out to you begging for forgiveness! ######


Prompt:
During high school, I (F) was experimenting with my style and found that I was more comfortable in men's clothing. I started wearing suites a lot and love colorful ties and bow ties. My Mum is super conservative and obsessed with gender roles and went a while where she couldn't look at me without crying. When I decided to shave my head she wouldn't even look at me.

Eventually I started seeing her again but she is always twitchy and nervous, solely due to the fact that I was wearing men's clothing. She refused to even talk to me until I took my tie off, which is really upsetting to me, and I was tired of bending to her whims, so I told her that I would not take my tie off unless she took her bracelet off, which she was visibly hurt by. She said that I was being unreasonable and silly, and that she just needed time, yet she has had over two years by now. She still won't even call me by the correct name.

I feel guilty whenever I kind of prod her into accepting me, because she seems so fundamentally hurt by who I am. AITA for not wearing women's clothing around her and making her take off something if she wants me to take my tie off? ######

Response: NTA. If she's hurt by who you are, she's the problem. You shouldn't have to comprimise. You're not prodding her into accepting you, she's trying to change you. ######


Prompt:
I have a friend who i found out some time ago to be an anti-vaxxer and unvaccinated, believing that vaccination causes autism and that they dont want "chemicals" in her future kids. Ive tried over multiple occasions to tell them that these beliefs are not true when the subject is brought up by them, but they never listen or believe what i say.

&#x200B;

Some of the things about this that annoyed me at the beginning was her refusal to get shots for her overseas travels and she gets sick at the drop of a hat. Whenever i see her she always says shes just coming off a cold or flu, which annoys me because she doesnt stop to consider myself catching a cold from her or anyone else when were out. She is constantly sick in some way or form.

&#x200B;

But some of the more recent concerns i have had was her declaration that she wanted kids in the future (she is still single and young) and for them to be un-vaccinated for the above reasons.
They also started to expand their side job and she is within contact newborns and young kids, which made me uncomfortable due to these kids being at risk to catching her colds let alone anything else she could contract on her travels at some point.

&#x200B;

WIBTA if i told her that she shouldnt have or work with kids if shes an antivaxxer/not vaccinated? ######

Response: NTA. If she works in the facility near babies and kids I think you should report to her place of work that she admired to not have been vaccinated. If her place of work even cares about this. Bc here not being vaccinated can lead to those kids and babies losing their lives... it her choice of not vaccinated. If you want you can show her those facebook groups of people who regret never vaccinating their kids and themselves after loosing their own kids due to the other kid carrying a preventable diseases that they passed along to their baby siblings or parents doing that to their babies/kids. I didn’t stay in that page long it’s just heartbreaking. ######


Prompt:
So, my Ex has been kind of rude and inconsiderate to me even before we broke up. She decided to cheat on me while i was mourning the loss of my Dad and during the week of my birthday (sucks ass) her "birthday present" to me was telling me in detail about her fucking 3 guys that week. I know it sounds crazy and like it belongs in thathappened, but bear with me.

So onto the story: Last week I looked at my bank account and noticed that a charge had been made for close to $40 of wendys on Postmates. The only person that could have done it was this Ex. I called them up to ask, what the hey man, they said, "oh yeah that was me lol" and trash talked me to her friends that were with her while I was on the phone. I just wanted the $40 back, wasn't rude just wanted a refund. I tried to get in contact with her on multiple platforms, where she read the messages and ignored them. I ended up calling my bank to report it as fraud and gave them my ex's info.

I low-key feel like the asshole as she may lose her job over this. She works at a bank. My S/O has told me that, she's a grown woman and knows better than to use other people's info, ESPECIALLY if they work at a bank.

AITA?

TL,DR: my ex used my credit cart to buy $40 dollars worth of food, refused to pay me back. I reported her for fraud and not feel like TA cuz she may lose her job. ######

Response: NTA. If she works at a bank she definitely knows better. ######


Prompt:
I live with three roommates, were supposed to split bills four ways. Not my ideal living situation but I was unexpectedly moving after a breakup.

One of my roommates, Lucy, has not paid her share of the electric bill in months, she says she just hasn't gotten around to setting up the service (venmo) we all use to pay our shares to me, so I can pay the bill.

Every time I ask for money, she has an excuse. She can't set up venmo, since her phone is dying. She doesn't have cash on her. She can't write me a check because she doesn't have a checkbook. She says she has the money and will get around to sending it.

Last week, I was going to the grocery store and doing some other errands and I asked if anyone wanted a lift for errands. Two of my roommates, Lucy and Anne, said yes.

On the errand run, I had an idea. I know which bank Lucy uses, I saw she had her bank card on her at the store. And wed be coming up by one of their branches. I pulled into the ATM drive through lane and said "Lucy, while we're here, could you get us the $330 you owe for utilities?"

She was like "did you come here just for this?" And I said yeah, I need the money for utilities this month and the last few months.

She got mad at me for tricking her, and I said I wasn't planning it or anything, I was just driving by the bank and remembered she needed to go to the bank to get me utilities money.

The cars behind us started honking and getting impatient and Anne was saying to just withdraw the money so we could go. Because it seemed like OP wasn't going till she did.

Lucy did, and we went home. But later, she got really mad at me and Anne, saying the way we'd pushed her for money at the atm was practically like a robbery.

I feel like it wasn't, like there were no threats or anything.

AITA for tricking my roommate to going to the ATM to get utilitiy money she owed us? ######

Response:
 NTA. If she was sincere about paying her share she'd have been thankful for that reminder. The fact that she got pissed off meant that she never intended to pay her share. Ain't nobody got time for leeches.

Edit: Thanks for the award! ######


Prompt: For context, this is on discord. I’m 18 and my little sister is 12. I recently came upon a server that she’s in, and found out that she had been telling people she was 17. That really didn’t sit right with me, especially considering she was talking to a boy who was 18. They keep flirting and it’s making me worry about her safety, putting herself out there like that when she’s so young. I’ve been thinking about messaging the staff of the server quietly and also telling the boy, but I don’t want to make it a public matter. The reason I’m making this post is that I’m worried that I’ll damage her friendships with people and/or my own relationship with her. I don’t know if this is the right course of action. WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA. If she was just claiming to be 13 to get round discord's age limit I'd tell you to leave it but claiming to be 17 and flirting with an adult is too dangerous for her to be allowed to continue. Both for her and for the guy. ######


Prompt:
So a few months ago my Gf had to get a skin lesion cut out. Just removing an infection about the size of a dime then stitching it back up. She asked me about a week before if I would go with her. I told her I don’t think so because I had just started my last semester of college and had class at the time. She said okay, but a few days later made me feel bad for not volunteering to go with her, so I made arrangements to skip class.
Till this day she still shames me for being selfish saying that the fact that I initially didn’t want to skip class is a reflection of my bad character.
AITA ?? ######

Response:
 NTA. If she wants you to come to her doctor's appointments (or anything else) then she needs to schedule it for a time that works for both of you.

It's a huge display of immaturity for her to still try to hold this against you. Next time she brings it up you should ask her why this is her go to incident.

Talk it out with her. Maybe she was really scared and didn't have the words to tell you how important it was for you to be there. Maybe she just thinks that you are wrong. Maybe she thinks you aren't supportive of her. But you would be better off if you found out her reasoning and asked her to discuss what she's trying to accomplish by bringing that back up again and again. She probably feels like it's an unresolved or ongoing issue in your relationship.

But if it bothers you then you need to either find a way to resolve this or back out of the relationship. Because what she is doing is not right. And if you guys can't resolve this now then it's going to continue to be a problem later. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I adopted our oldest son in 2016, and biologically he is my husband's nephew (his mom is my husband's sister). Anyway, she had been making poor life choices for quite some time, but it ultimately came to a head in 2014, when her drug usage caused her to lose all of her kids. She went to prison for a while, and when she got out and reached out to us, we asked our son if he wanted to talk to her (he's gonna be 18 at the end of this year, he was definitely old enough to understand and make the choice.) He said yes, and they had phone and letter contact until about a year ago, when we finally let them meet in person (supervised). She was staying clean and generally doing good for herself for a while, to the point where my son was actually kinda proud of her. Then she got with a guy that is just terrible, and entered a downward spiral from there.

She stopped trying to get ahold of my son frequently, if at all. He never talked to me about how it made him feel, and I never pushed it as he doesn't react positively to that sort of thing.  Then Mother's Day rolled around. I hadn't expected him to say anything to me, seeing as how I'm not his bio mom and he knows it. He went out of his way to find me before I left for work (he was staying at his girlfriend's house the night before), told me happy mothers day and gave me a huge hug.

I thought it was awesome. I had a great day and after I got home from work I had a text from his bio mom.  "Happy mothers day tell [name] that I love him have him call me sometime"

She nows how to get ahold of him. She just chose not to contact him directly, and when I asked him if he told her happy mother's day, he just said "no".

My husband is a little mad that I didnt prod him to tell her, and my parents told me "well thats still his mom", but I dont see the need to make him solely responsible for maintaining a relationship he doesnt want in the first place.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If she wants to have a relationship with her bio son, then she needs to put in the work. And if he wants nothing to do with her? Then that's his business. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is 16 and recently has watched several documentaries, read a few books, medical journals and has come to the conclusion that she wants to become a vegetarian. My husband and I support this, however the rest of us are not vegetarians. We don’t make carnivorous meals every night, but I would say at least 5 out of 7 days a week. I always have what would be a vegetarian side dish, but I am also not a short order cook. I said she can come grocery shopping with me, I’ll buy the food, cook books, etc, and on nights we’re eating meat, she can cook her own food.

This upset my daughter. She says her siblings don’t have to cook their own dinner, why should she? I said because they’re eating what I’m making in the first place. She said that this was “favoritism” but agreed. My husband thinks I should cook for her, but he doesn’t cook the meals in this house, I do.

Am I being unfair here? ######

Response: NTA. If she wants to eat a different diet from the rest of the family, then she needs to make her own meals. I went through the same thing as a teenager, and it was no big deal. It actually helped foster a love for cooking and got me ready for the big wide world. ######


Prompt:
(On mobile, sorry for any formatting issues. Also I talk about going out, but this was pre-covid. She just brought it up to me recently, and I wanted some other opinions.)

I (25f) love my sister (35) a lot, but sometimes when we go out she likes to tell people we're sisters and have them guess how old we are. At first this didn't bother me, but she does it any time we go out and people want to talk to us.

I'm not afraid of aging or getting wrinkles. She's always been very self conscious about her looks and is afraid of looking "old." She has had botox/fillers (not sure the difference?) to hide some of her wrinkles. She also layers on the makeup and has had her brows microbladed. I wear makeup also, but I don't go to a lot of effort to hide blemishes/under eye circles. I just like having fun eyeshadow and lipstick on.

Since getting her fillers, people will guess that we're closer in age. The last time this happened, someone thought she was younger than me. She immediately began to tease me about looking older. I wasn't wearing any makeup and hadn't made much of an effort to look cute because I'd had a busy day and was tired. I kind of lost my temper and told the guy her actual age and that she got Botox to hide her forehead wrinkles.

We argued about it. She said I was jealous and childish. I said she was self obsessed and that I didn't appreciate  this age game she likes to play with people. She told me if I put more effort into my looks, I wouldn't have to worry about it. I stopped wanting to hang out with her after that, and then with covid, I haven't had to worry about it.

Recently she brought this up in conversation and asked if I was still mad about it. I said no, and asked if she was since she brought it up. She said yes, and that I owed her an apology. I don't think I do.

TL;DR: AITA for telling a stranger that my sister who is older than me only looks young because she's had botox after she made fun of my appearance? ######

Response: NTA. If she wants to constantly play that weird age game then she had it coming. Especially when she basically shamed you afterwards too. Seems like she got real full of herself after that surgery ######


Prompt:
I recently finished my internship and I offered them to hire me. I enjoyed my time there and hoped I could earn some extra money over the holiday season. My boss and colleagues liked to keep me but the management insisted that they would not hire anybody.

Fast forward to this weekend. I get a message from my boss that he needed my help for 4 days( Tuesday to Friday) and that I could have somebody to help me. Details would be discussed on Monday.

Job would be simple and anybody could do it from home.

That weekend, we were sitting with our group of friends and this comes up. A friend(girl) says that she has plenty of time and can help me out. I write it down.

The next day I tell my own girlfriend that I may have some work. It would depend on what is discussed on Monday. She is kinda excited to work with me. However she also said that she has a barber appointment(1+ hour gone) on Tuesday and work on Friday.

Monday comes up and my boss tells me he needs two people for 4 days. I accepted this and asked the friend that could help for. 4days.

I called my girlfriend with the bad news and now she is sad, disappointed and angry at me.

Am I the asshole for making this choice? ######

Response: NTA. If she wanted work, she could have easily rescheduled appointments. Medical appointments, I could empathize as there is often a long wait for those. But hair appointments? Nope. ######


Prompt: My wife has wanted a vegetable garden in our backyard. Now that it's starting to warm up I thought I would try to tackle something this weekend. I did some research online, looked up some designs, and tried to show my wife to get her input. She would only give me short answers and told me just to make something nice and show her when I had a plan. I mapped out our backyard and did some measurements, started planting some flags so she had a frame of reference, and called her out to the backyard to talk to her. The entire time I was trying to show her the design and get her opinions she was either on her phone, playing with our dog, playing with our kids, or just being randomly inattentive ("oh I like the flowers the neighbors planted"). I got fed up and asked her if she wanted a garden or not. She said yes, what I have is fine (she didnt look) and went inside. This morning I went to the store and bought about $200 in tools and supplies (not even building materials to start yet) and when I get home she asks me why I spent so much. I told her I needed the stuff we had and asked her how much she thought we would spend. She told me no more than $500 and I told her that's extremely unrealistic (it's a 15x15 foot garden with fencing surrounding it, gravel paths, and above ground planter boxes). I told her we could have figured this out before I spent $200 if she hadn't blown me off. She told me she didn't and I told her I'm just going to cancel the project and not do it. Am I an asshole here? ######

Response: NTA. If she wanted a garden badly enough she should have done it herself, and if she expected you to do it then she should have had a very clear conversation with you beforehand on her expectations for said garden. You were just trying to be helpful and give her what she wanted and she was ignoring you. ######


Prompt:
I just turned 23 last week. My friend said that she would treat me to a meal, so we met up in a mall during the weekends. For context, we make around the same money. She is a rather conservative with money while I am all for spending as long as it's worth.

Originally I wanted to eat Korean BBQ buffet, but my friend said that it was expensive and not worth the price(About $35 per person), so we went to another restaurant of her choice.

Besides the main dish($17), I ordered another soup($6) and strawberry milkshake($6). My friend, after seeing my order, asked me to cancel it off because they are side dishes and desserts not worth the money. She also suggested that I should order chicken salad($12) like her too, as they are healthy and lesser expensive.

It was then that I felt that she is just killing the mood, it isn't even that expensive. I offered to pay for us instead. She started to argue that it was supposed to be her treat but I shut it down and confirmed my order, then tapped into the payment mode scanned my card before she could react, paying for both of us. I told her that it's alright, she could order more, I'll pay and we'd both enjoy our meals together. She did not order anything else.

After the meal she complained that now she had to buy me something for my birthday because I did not let her pay for the meal. I shrugged it off and changed the topic. I sure do hope she doesn't mention it again, but my mother after hearing what I did told me that what I did was really rude and I should apologise to her. Maybe I will, this isn't worth fighting over, but AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If she only wanted to spend $12 on you for your birthday, that is her business, but she should have either (a) bought you a gift that was $12 (sounds like she couldn't be bothered), (b) taken you somewhere that would never come to more than $12, rather than somewhere you had to order the cheapest thing and no drinks/sides, or (c) at least made it clear that she could only afford to buy your main course/contribute $12 to your meal, without policing what else you were allowed to get. ######


Prompt:
Obligatory apologies for being a mobile user and the rest of the blah blah blah.

My wife is pregnant with our first child, and I’m very happy. The other day, we’re having a conversation about the family around us and making plans, it was nice. Then it was mentioned about my father, who would obviously be ‘Grandad’ to the bump, and his wife.

A little background; my fathers wife and I do not get along, she’s a bully, and petty, and used to make me miserable to live at home, so much so that I joined the army the day after my birthday as a young teen to get away.

Now, because of this, I said that I didn’t want my children to call her ‘Nan’ but refer to her as her first name, as I do.

My wife says that I shouldn’t be this way, and that I’m an asshole for not wanting to allow our bump to feel like they have a full, supportive family network around them. She also expressed the concern that other kids may poke fun at bump when bump mentions visiting ‘Grandad and Firstname’ rather than ‘Grandad and Nan’

But for me, I feel that a title of privilege like that should be earned, and that she hasn’t show that she should be granted that title.

Am I an asshole? ######

Response: NTA. If she never liked you and didn’t treat you like a mother, you don’t owe her access to your child and for her to be a nan. My grandpa remarried after my grandma died and she was [first name], not nan. Not out of malicious intent but we didn’t have that kind of relationship. My peers never had trouble understanding that my grandpa’s second wife wasn’t my grandma. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so I’m writing this on behalf of myself and my housemates (7 of us total). Recently, it was one of my housemate’s birthday and invited a handful of people over including this girl. He let her sleepover at our house along with some others because they were all drunk and would’ve had to drive home.
In the morning, everyone leaves except the one girl. She continues to stay in our house all day- while she knows none of us except the former birthday boy who was passed out all the next day. She wakes up and starts drinking one of my housemates bottles of whiskey without permission and then goes to the grocery store. She buys a handful of random shit like a carton of eggs, cream cheese, coffee creamer, a wrap, a container of sauce. Note that she asked us if we wanted anything before leaving.
She wanders around the house all day and leaves and comes back again and ifs visibly fucked up. She even said to me that she’s been “going all day.” Then finally she gets the hint that it’s weird she’s there bc we don’t know her. She leaves and then has to come back for her phone– again bc she was drunk all day.
We don’t hear from
her until a few days later, she tells the birthday boy that she wants us to venmo her for that shit back. Like dude– we don’t know you, you were fucked up at our house, and left shit. We ate most the groceries so what should be done?
Am i the asshole for not eating the shit / then not venmoing her? ######

Response: NTA. If she left the stuff in your fridge and she’s some rando girl it’s definitely not your problem. Super weird that she was their all day and drinking and I’m assuming driving?? ######


Prompt:
My grandmother is a very stubborn person.She never thinks she is wrong and get emotional when I call her out on her behavior.

She loves cooking,its tasty food but there is only so much I can eat, I get full very quickly compared to others in my family. She frequently makes different types of food for us to eat and I politely refuse because I can't eat anymore, but she doesn't take no for an answer and keep telling me to eat it. She wont stop telling me to eat the food. I got mad at yelled at her I told her I am the one who decide what I want to eat and she can't force it down my throat. This made her sad and complained to my mom about my attitude.
I think I am in the wrong but her stubbornness is driving me crazy
AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. If she is trying to force you to eat, when you say no, she is a major ah.

Put her in time out since she wants to be so toxic. Grandma's don't get special treatment.  If anything they should listen to you more than your parents,  not less. ######


Prompt:
I (26M) had been dating my girlfriend (23F) for a few months now. We were at her house trying to tidy the attic and then we found some pictures of her as a teenager with some friends. I asked her how popular she was at school. I was quite popular, had a lot of friends, and was just wondering.

What she said turned my mind around. She said she used to have some sort of "mini gang" of friends who were always criticising and insulting this other group of girls. I asked why. She said one of the girls in the other group lost a parent to cancer and had since been upset, not talkative, and randomly crying. She said the girl was a crybaby in a 15 year old's body and should just "get over it". The other girls apparently always were comforting the upset girl. She called them the four teen mums due to their hugs and support.

I was upset about this. I've lost two grandparents to various cancers, and I was very upset when it happened and I understood what it was like to be the girl who was upset. I also didn't think my girlfriend had any remorse or regret for what she had done judging by how she spoke of the girl and her friends. We finished tidying the attic and then I went home later that day.

I had since been only responding to some of her messages, and our country has went in lockdown. When she asked about my constant inactivity, I told her the truth. She was angry and yelled at me on the phone that her past shouldn't matter to me and that the girl shouldn't be important. As someone who has lost loved ones to cancer, I disagree. She has since been cold with me, I have tried talking to her several times and calling her but she just ignores me. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If she got to 23 and doesn't understand that her bullying was wrong, she might still be a bully. Red flag. ######


Prompt:
I (22F) went to visit a friend who needed some help from Thursday morning to Sunday evening. I asked my mom to look after my cat (visit in the evening, feed/give water/scoop litter) while I was gone. I always look after her dog when she's on vacation, so it was fine.

When I came back I found out she had reorganized my kitchen, including the insides of the cabinets. She threw out my 'normal' brush I use to scrub dishes (the one next to the dish soap, on the counter) and dug out my other brush (all the way in the back of the cabinet with cleaning supplies) and had used that to wash her coffee cup thursday to sunday. Apperently she thought it was a back up brush?

Problem is I use that brush for deep cleaning the litter box once a week. She was disgusted (understandably so) when I told her, and wanted me to apologize for not warning her about the brush.

I didn't apologise, she had no reason to go though my cabinets and reorganize my kitchen, she doesn't live here. There was no way she could have used the wrong brush if she didn't insist on snooping.

That was Sunday, we haven't talked very much since then. AITA for not apologising/not telling her? ######

Response: NTA. If she didn’t decide to rearrange your cupboards then surely she wouldn’t have found the brush? I also don’t understand the logic behind her choosing to use that brush... surely it looked used, as you’ve used it to clean the litter box. So why did a different (clearly used) brush seem better than the one already in the sink? ######


Prompt:
I (48M) recently won the lottery.  Before you congratulate me too much, it was a local state lottery and certainly not a Mega Millions or Powerball jackpot.  However it is enough to help me buy a moderately priced house and my take care of my debts with enough left over to have an investment account.  I don't plan on quitting my job or anything drastic.

My Ex-GF (45F) broke up with me 6 weeks ago.  We have been separated since February because of the lock-down.  She is in a state with extreme lock-down orders so it is impossible for me to go back.  About 6 weeks ago she called me and said it's over, she can't live like this etc.  I didn't disagree, and we have been civil since.

Through a mutual friend she found out about my win, and when we talked she called me to discuss what 'we' were going to do with this money.  I explained to her I won after we had broken up, and she is mad at me.  She also called me stupid for buying lottery tickets int he first place.

Our mutual friend thinks I am the AH, but my family thinks I am in the right.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If she didn't give money for the ticket, there is no obligation for anything. That's just pests coming out of the woodwork. ######


Prompt: My roommate regularly borrows my car and leaves my car keys in her purse.  I had an errand to run and my keys were not on the hook in the kitchen they belong on.  I went to look in her purse figuring my keys were in there (they were) and she got mad I looked in her purse.  I told her if she didn't want me looking in her purse don't leave my car keys in there and if that was too hard she couldn't borrow my car anymore.  So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If she can’t be decent enough to return your keys to you or the hook after you’re decent enough to let her borrow your car, you have every right to go looking for your keys when you need them. ######


Prompt:
Hi- I have a sister who is a few years older than me, and has wanted kids since she was a kid.  She wants a small litter of them and is a primary school teacher, and I think one day she will make a great mum.

I, on the other hand, do not like kids. Full stop. I never want to be pregnant, I don't find baby videos cute, and if I were to ever have kids I'd hope to foster and look after older kids to help give them a loving supportive home. I was always told when I was younger that when my aunt fell pregnant I'd love my baby cousin, and even though I 1000% love her so much, I never found her to be cute as a kid and it took until she was about 8 for me to feel like I could try to connect to her. Basically- kids and i don't super mix, regardless of relation.

This is connected to a wee while ago when I was talking to my sister and she was talking about wanting kids and I said to her that I was not going to babysit her kids at least until they were potty-trained.

I said this as a flippant comment, whilst my sister reacted like I'd told her I was going to sacrifice her future babies to satan when they were born.

AITA for not wanting to deal with up to four tiny screaming drooling sticky kids, even though they're going to be related? ######

Response: NTA. If she can talk about her potential future children, you can talk about your potential future nieces and nephews. ######


Prompt:
I grew up with "Uncle" and "Aunt" siblings. My brother Rob is 42, my sister Patricia is 39. I am \[Winona\] 20F.
My brother has a 19-year-old daughter \[Gina\] whom I call my sister. We are close. We currently live together and attend the same Uni. We go on a lot of trips together and talk on the phone for hours. She's seriously my best friend.
I have a niece \[Lilly\] and a nephew \[Parker\] who are 8 and 10.
Patricia doesn't take the time to call or get to know me. When we are in the same location, she is really dismissive of my interests. She commonly tells me that I sound like a child when I talk *or* that I need to grow up because it was much harder for her when she was a kid.
We all went on a cruise together two years back. I was 19, Gina was 18, and we spent the whole time doing whatever we wanted and staying up until 3 am. Which was super fun!
At the end of the trip, Gina and I posted all the pictures we took. Most of them were with our parents or people we met on the ship, or just stupid faces together. We also had a lot of landscapes and day trips we did.
I took zero pictures of Patricia and her family. They acted like we weren't there most of the time unless she wanted us to babysit her kids \[which we said no to\].
She got upset when she figured out that we had taken pictures of everyone else and not her family or her kids. She is not big on doing photography herself and claimed \[since we went on some daytrips together\] that I would include her kids. I told her that I didn't feel like she viewed me as a sister so why would I want her in my family pictures.
She cried. ######

Response: NTA. If pictures were that important to her, she should have brought a camera. And it seemed that she only asks about you if she needs something. ######


Prompt:
I’m (26F) and almost 7 months pregnant (2 days away), I thankfully still have my job. Sadly my fiancé (32M) was laid off, due to his job not being essential.

 I have even taken extra days to be able to support us and still have money when baby comes. Today is day 19 of me working without a day off (my boss always checks in with me to make sure I’m okay and still healthy to work, they are the best).

 Fiancé hasn’t been able to get a temporary job, therefore I believe at the very least his job, for the time being, is to keep our place in order and clean. He says it’s both our job. If we weren’t in our current situation he would definitely be right, but I’m not only working all week (and seeing how the “stay at home” order keeps getting extended I might not have a “break” until baby comes)but I’m also almost in my third trimester of pregnancy.

 I’ve pretty much have gone through every possible pregnancy symptom, and there is not one day of complete peace, once one symptom finally goes away another pops up to replace it. I believe he is being selfish, that he truly doesn’t understand what I’m going through.

 Why is so difficult to keep our place clean, even when it comes to cooking, I HAVE to help him. I get off work and I still can’t relax. Meanwhile when I’m at work I’m sure he is online playing video games with his friends. It’s so infuriating.

 It’s come to me constantly snapping at him because he is in his care free world. According to him I’m an asshole, just because I’m working everyday and pregnant doesn’t mean I can’t help him clean. ######

Response: NTA. If one person works, the other should keep the house running. ######


Prompt:
I honestly don't know if I did the right thing. I live by myself, and my little sister was over for the weekend, and this has been eating at me, so I need judgment.

My sister (12) was ranting about how she feels her parents (she's my stepsister) always favor our little sibling, and she had _quite_ the list of examples.

Personally, the way her parents, my parent and step parent, made it clear how I was the least favorite child has damaged me quite badly, as in, I needed therapy and all the shit. I wanted to be there for my little sister, so I told her that, while it broke my heart that I cannot fix it for her and she is stuck in the same situation I was stuck in, I know how she feels, and that I felt the exact same way when I was younger, and that I am also seeing that her little sibling is being favored over her, so she is not just imagining things. I told her that I am always there for her, she can call me whenever she needs to vent, and if she really can't take it anymore, she can always schedule to come over to my place to spend a bit of time away from her parents to just let it all out.

I am now wondering if I shouldn't have just tried to affirm her of the fact that her parents love her a lot. As in, I _tried_ talking to them when I was going through it, but they are seriously not aware of the fact that they are treating different children differently, no matter how many examples you have. I mean, I _am_ convinced that they love her, but I just think that they don't realize that they are doing this to their daughter.

I am kinda scared that by telling her that they put me through the same thing, I may have planted a seed that might drive a wedge between them, while it might have been better for her and her parents to just try to smooth it over. So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If nothing else she left the conversation knowing she has an older sibling who loves her and will support her ######


Prompt:
I've always hated my name because it's really uncommon and my teachers and even some of my friends pronounce it incorrectly (even after several corrections). I eventually got sick of it and researched legal name changes and the procedures and decided to save up for a name change after asking my mum and dad (to which they answered yes).

Last week I told my parents that I'd saved up $300 from chores and my birthday money. I told them that it's more than enough for the name change with post, handling etc. and they told me how proud they were about me being able to handle money like that.

Beginning of this week, I gathered up almost all the ID that I needed and put it in a folder. I couldn't find the envelope with my money so I started asking my parents and they told me they hadn't seen it. I looked all around the house and couldn't find the money. The entire time, my parents just sat there watching me and didn't help look for it when I asked. In the end I just gave up and thought it would turn up some time or another.

This morning my parents took me aside and told me that they needed to tell me something. They said that we'd be going to a ski resort in a few week's time, and that they'd used my money to pay for some of it because "we all need to do our bit because we're a bit tight on money right now". I was furious. I started shouting at them for taking my savings without telling me and using it for something that we didn't even need. They argued that I'm an ungrateful bitch for wanting to change my name that they'd chosen for their little girl and that I'd grown up with it and never complained until now. I left the room and took a walk, during which my parents proceeded to text all our relatives and friends about the incident.

I came back to find my phone blowing up with 200+ messages from my aunts and uncles telling me I should apologise for being so petty and thankless. I have no idea what to do and I haven't talked to my parents since then. So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. If money is so tight they have to steal from their kid they should NOT be going to a fucking ski resort. People like this make me sick.
r/narcissisticparents ######


Prompt: To preface this, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a couple months and she has a variety of mental health issues, including severe social anxiety. One thing she has started doing is making this extremely loud high pitched scream whenever she feels emotion, like when she’s very happy, shocked, and as a greeting. It wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t so loud, it stresses me out and hurts my ears whenever she makes the sound, which is dozens of times a day. I ask her every time to stop or at try to be quieter, but she said it’s just instinctual now to do it and can’t/won’t stop and I can tell she doesn’t like it when I tell her to quit. ######

Response: NTA. If its litterally hurting your ears than she should try to quieter ######


Prompt:
Recurring situation: live-in BF says he’s going to run to the convenience store that’s about a 2-minute drive from the apartment. Usually asks if I want something to drink, etc.

About half the time he comes right back. The other half, he comes back 30-45 minutes later, sometimes longer. Usually, it’s because he’s buying weed. Sometimes, it’s because he smokes with an acquaintance.

When he returns during these longer trips, I usually make a comment about him taking a while to go so close to home. He usually gets annoyed, then tells me where he’s been.

I’ve told him many times that I don’t care that he’s gone/doing what he needs to do, but I think it’s dishonest to tell me he’s going around the corner and then be gone for up to an hour. He says that it’s controlling that I want to know where he is/ what he’s doing all the time. He also says that he doesn’t tell me when he’s going to his dealer BC he doesn’t want me to be upset with him. The only thing I’ve ever said to him is “But I thought you just bought some yesterday?” Apparently he thinks this comment is unnecessary.

FWIW, he really is buying weed.  AITA for thinking this behavior is tantamount to lying/dishonesty—even if it’s over something small? ######

Response: NTA. If it’s not necessary that you each know where the other is, then I suggest you get up and leave without telling him where you’re going at all and see how he responds when you return a few hours later. ######


Prompt:
I (33f) am very big on jewelry. I have made myself quite a large collection over the years. I have 4 siblings, 2 sisters 2 brothers. I've recently decided to sell a few pieces that I found myself wearing less and less. They're still beautiful and in perfect condition. From the pieces that I chose to sell I gave a few to my sisters.

Only one of my brothers are married. I guess my SIL found out that I was giving jewelry to my sisters and asked my brother why I didn't give her one. I've never gotten along with my SIL. She knows why, but suddenly seems to forget that when I have a necklace she likes.

I tell my brother I don't want to give her anything. She isn't my sister, and I haven't given my other brother anything also. Brother gets mad that I'm singling out SIL and making her feel left out.

He's still nagging me. I still have the necklace SIL wants, but every phone call I get from my brother makes me want to give it to her less. ######

Response: NTA. If it's you openly don't get along with her then she shouldn't be expecting a gift from you. ######


Prompt:
I live with a sibling, we have been roommates for a while. Their luggage broke down years ago, not long before I bought a set for myself for a little over a $110.  Since then every time they go out of town they insist on using mine. I personally don't use them often whereas they go out of town a several times a year.

I don't like lending out my luggage in general because I know luggage breaks down the more the suitcases are used. Plus whatever unexpected things may happen beyond the person's control. The set itself was cheap altogether, which makes makes me think they aren't the best of quality in the first place and  therefore aren't expected to last long.

I bought the set so that I'd always have them incase I needed them, which sometimes is unexpected. The fact that another person is putting all the miles on something I bought and could wear or break down before I even get my money's worth out of them doesn't sit well with me.

As for the sibling, we share a lot of mutual stuff as "house stuff" but luggage has never been one of them.

AITA for putting my foot down and telling them they can't use luggage on this trip and to get their own. ######

Response: NTA. If it were only on occasion (once or twice a year) that would be one thing (but its 4 or 5 times a year its reasonable to suggest they get their own luggage. Or perhaps they can buy the set off of you? ######


Prompt:
Okay, first a little background ... I (21F) live with my boyfriend (25M) in a one bedroom apartment. We technically have a room that could be a second bedroom, but it's very small and currently being used as an office space. We both attend university in DC (undergrad and law school respectively) and have continued to live together while attending classes remotely.

My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend (23F) also happens to be attending school in DC, but because she was living in on-campus accomodations, she was forced to return home to. She and my boyfriend are still friends, and she's evidently told him how difficult she's found attending classes online with her family's shaky internet and the time difference. She's planning on driving back to DC in the next week to collect her belongings (which is understandably a really long drive). He told me that he was planning on inviting her to stay with us through the summer term. I pretty much told him I wasn't cool with that, and he got mad, telling me I was selfish. So ..... AITA?

EDIT: We split both rent and utilities 50/50!  ######

Response: NTA. If it was me in this situation, I wouldn't allow any exes, his or mine, to live with us. If he insisted, he'd end up with two ex-girlfriends. ######


Prompt: I am trying to save a good emergency fund so I can move out of my parent’s house. My brother is 8 years old than me and more established in his career and everything—he wants to buy a house to live in with his fiancée. He knows I have an emergency fund saved (our family is pretty open about money + finances) and he came to me and he asked for $5,000 so he could have enough to make the down payment. I said it was an emergency fund and I didn’t want to delay moving out because it took a while to save up that money. He said it’s not a big deal and he can pay it back in two months. I said no again and he went and told our parents, and they said that I’m living in their house so I should pay my brother the $5,000 as rent to them back-dated. I said that we’d never talked about rent and this was being sprung on me and I don’t understand, if they want me to move out, why they want me to give up my emergency fund. I said that if he can’t afford the down payment then how is he going to pay for the house and they all groaned and rolled their eyes, my dad said “what have you been reading, money self help books?” And pointed out family helps each other. I would be happy to help if I thought I could give it up without missing it but I think I would, if he took the $5,000 I wouldn’t be able to afford to even pay my deductible for health insurance if I got hurt and my parents definitely aren’t paying for that. So AITA ######

Response: NTA. If it only takes him 2 months to make that much, then he can wait 2 months to buy a house ######


Prompt:
Hello! Longtime listener, first time caller.

I (29m) work a property management job that I hate. I have to evict people and we’re in the midst of a pandemic. It’s really soul destroying.

I got a message from an old friend that offered me a job once he purchased a new business to oversee two similar stores and run them how I see fit. This would still be considered a small business and, as previously referenced, we are in the middle of hard times. I wanted to make sure that I had some concrete evidence that this was a secure move before I brought it to my fiancé’s (29f) attention, so I asked do profit and loss reports to ascertain if this was a good idea.

Turns out the second store net $100k last year in a pretty small town and their sales etc. are doing well this year, in spite of the chaos. At this point I felt comfortable enough to at least put it on my fiancé’s radar. My best friend, my fiancé and I went to a nice dinner last night and I brought it up. She was PISSED. She said that if something like that happened to her, she’d have “called me same day on her lunch break, this just makes her feel like I keep stuff from her” and all this stuff.

We have a pretty rigid schedule with our budget as we are trying to buy our first home by the end of next year. This job change would further advance those goals, but knowing how she is about details and thorough questions, I elected to wait until I had enough info to give her and she was not pleased.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If it hadn't worked out, both of you would be devastated. Instead, you took the logical move to see whether it might be a good idea. As far as I see, you haven't made the decision to change the job without her. If you had it would be reasonable that she could be angry since you have both planned goals and changes in job affect that. ######


Prompt:
This is more of an “Are *We* The Assholes”, because I’m speaking for everyone participating minus the friend in question.

We’re currently in the early stages of planning our trip to Japan for next year (fingers crossed things are safe enough by then). This will be our second group trip to Japan, the first one being last year (which the friend in question chose not to come on, and even openly doubted that we’d be capable of successfully organizing it).

Anyway, now that the planning stage is upon us again, he’s decided that he wants to come this time, and took the liberty of inviting his girlfriend along without consulting any of us first.

This left pretty much all of us with a sour taste; not because we don’t like his girlfriend’s company, but because, like the last trip obviously was, this trip was also conceptualized as a guys trip. So today I volunteered to be the one to speak up about it to him, and he’s not taking it so smoothly.

I tried not to be blatantly confrontational; I said that although this was meant to be a guys trip, we still don’t want to tell anyone they can’t come. So we want to try and find a middle ground, and we think that there should be another Airbnb separate from the guys Airbnb so that everyone’s comfortable. And that we can still plan our outings together etc.

He doesn’t seem to understand that what he wants to do conflicts with our collective intention of having a guys trip, and has objected to all our reasoning. I feel like we’re not in the wrong at the end of the day, but I’m trying to keep an open mind to different perspectives in case there’s somehow something that I’m missing here. Thanks for your time ######

Response: NTA. If I was the only woman going on a vacation I would for sure feel more comfortable renting a place with my significant other for just ourselves. ######


Prompt: Okay so I realize this sounds like the plot to a porno with a mom walking in on her son but I couldn't think of a better way to write this. Basically I went upstairs to my son's room to ask what he felt for supper, I knocked on the door a few times and called his name but got no answer. I assumed he was asleep so I opened the door to walk him up and there he was with his pants down and noise cancelling  headphones on. He yelled at me and told me that I should have known not to come into his room but personally I feel I did everything I could, I knocked several times, called his name and only opened the door when he wouldn't answer me. Should I have just left the door called and waited for him to eventually come out? ######

Response:
 NTA. If I was a parent and got no answer from my kid after knocking a few times, I would absolutely enter the room. You might fear the worst. Or maybe I'm just neurotic.

Either way, he'll get over it. He'll laugh about it with his mates in a couple of years. ######


Prompt:
Before I start, I'm F18 and all the people in the story are around my age. Also, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
So, not while ago, this guy (M20 I think??) followed me on IG, and we had some mutual followers so I decided to follow him back. Soon after that I got a message from him saying he wants to hook up and a photo (dickpic). I immediately blocked him, of course. But because it wasn't the first message like that I've received, and I'm seriously annoyed with how some guys think they can do whatever they want without consequences, I decided to try something dfferent. With a little research, I found his mom on FB, and decided to message her. I apologized for messaging her out of the blue, and aksed (just to make sure I got the right person) if he was her son, with a picture of him. When she answers, I plan on telling her about the dickpic. She still didn't see the message though, so I guess she won't see it at all (probably because we aren't friends on FB and she doesn't know about the Message request thingy). But that's not the point now. Some of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because I did that, telling me I overreacted, that I embarrassed him and that it was not such a big deal.
Right now I'm not sure if I did a right thing.
So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If his mother would be ashamed of his actions that speaks to his assholeness, not yours. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway and fake names

A couple of my friends hung out recently (where we live in a place with less than a hundred cases and masks are still required)

One of my friends, Dylan came with his new girlfriend Ann, who happens to be black, to introduce us to her which we were all fine with and knew beforehand.

I’m more of an introverted person and Ann is the opposite. When met for lunch, she was loud and boisterous. She spoke over people, yelled at the staff, *reached over to my plate*,and at one point she even tried to dance on the table.

I found it all very inappropriate and didn’t talk much for the rest of our lunch. Dylan kept on excusing her behavior throughout and my other friends didn’t seem to mind.

When Dylan asked us what I thought about her I told the truth half jokingly and said she was a bit noisy and rude and I personally wouldn’t want to hang out with her. I did clarify that she might be a nice girl but our personalities would clash.

Dylan got really upset with this, and accused me of being racist and calling his girlfriend ghetto. A couple of my friends supported this, and I tried to explain that I didn’t like her because of her personality not her race but they seem to believe that the two are somehow intertwined. He’s acting like I dislike her BECAUSE she’s black and like I can’t dislike a black person because I’m white.

I was going to let it slide and apologize until Dylan said something along the lines of, “she can’t help it, that’s how they are” which I thought was racist to stereotype and told him so.

I left soon after and I’ve been getting nonstop calls from my friend group, telling me that I’m the scum of the earth and I should apologize with one of them even going on twitter to post about exposing the racists in your friend group.

I believe I did not do anything racist but I need an outside perspective. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If his girlfriend were white but with the same personality, you would react the same. Also, I agree with you on Dylan being racist in stereotyping black women. ######


Prompt:
Am I about to rant over a muffin? Yes! I live in a pretty big household. I have 6 other siblings. So when my sisters made muffins last night, I’d already eaten so I decided I wanted one for the morning. But I knew my siblings would’ve eaten them all by the time I woke up and didn’t feel like risking it. So I hid one with my brothers baby food. Sure enough waking up this morning I was correct, the muffins were all gone but the one I hid was still there. I ate it, and that was that. Like an hour later my step dad came in and asked “do you know who hid a muffin?” And I said it was me, I didn’t see it as that big of a deal. Well, he pulls up a video on his phone of him LICKING THE FUCKING MUFFIN and putting it back, I was disgusted. I then heard him and my mom talking about how that’s what I get for hiding food, which is actually very hypocritical because they have entire cabinet of their own hidden food that we aren’t allowed to touch. It’s not like I took someone’s muffin by hiding it, all my siblings were able to have 2, I just wanted one. Now I’m pissed at my step dad and he doesn’t understand why.

TDLR; I hid a muffin, my stepdad licked it and put it back, and showed me a video of him licking it after I ate it. Now I’m pissed

Side note: I realize the post is stupid, I know it’s  stupid situation. But personally, I don’t enjoy eating food that has been touched, licked, or spit on by others. So why not rant about it 😂 ######

Response: NTA. If he's punishing kids for "hiding food" sounds like he needs to do a better job providing enough for everyone. ######


Prompt:
I (26f) and my fiancé (27m) moved out of my father's house. Now to get context.

My father was not really a father to me growing up. He would mentally abuse me and sometimes verbally. We even got into fist fights.

My fiancé moved and my father tried playing "I'm a good guy". A week later, when the lockdown starte, he started showing his true colours. When my fiancé nor my dad could work, I begged for food parcels and so did my fiancé. My father refused to beg.

Then my fiancé found another job and began our search for a different place to stay. In the meantime, my father was also getting money in from asking friends and family but that money never went into the house. No food bought etc. My fiancé spent most of his money making sure we atleast have enough to eat till the next food parcel. My father was enjoying his chips and sweets.

We found a place and moved out immediately. I had also went and changed the address for the food parcels. My stepmom asked me if the food parcel is going to go to them and I said that dad needs to apply for the food parcel. They aren't happy with it.

AITA for changing the address to the food parcels? ######

Response: NTA. If he's not ready to do anything to get food, why should you be responsible for it. Especially if he's such a dick towards you (and has been for a long time). ######


Prompt:
Well... My ex and I divorced and I moved away with my two oldest kids and our youngest. We split up because he is a workaholic and doesn’t want to engage in any kind of family activity.

I had a cat when we met and he lied about being allergic, so I had to give up the cat when we moved in together.

Now that we moved away, I got a kitten and we all love it so much, but, my ex refuses to visit his daughter here bc of the cat. He refuses to take any allergy meds, just because?? We can come visit him, but he only has time late in the evening once in a while because of his work. Before we got the cat, he came once a month aprox.

AITA for getting the cat? Just be honest. I knew he was allergic, but I thought he would be open to take allergy meds. Now he wants me to get rid of the cat or he won’t see his daugther anymore. ######

Response: NTA. If he's crappy enough of a dad to refuse to visit your daughter (or even just pick her up from the house) because you have a cat, then she's probably better off without him. He no longer lives with you and doesn't get a say in what pets you have. Enjoy your sweet little kitten. ######


Prompt:
My (31m) oldest brother (49m) is installing a deck on our parents house. It's obvious even to a kindergartner that the posts are crooked. And the entire deck is crooked. Almost a entire foot.

I told both of our parents about it. Showed them. Neither will say anything to him.

I didnt help yesterday because i was busy and i helped all last weekend while he watched us unload all the lumber. He disagreed with me when i wanted to lay the lumber on a flat surface so it won't bow because it was 15 feet further to carry it. Even though he wasnt carrying it AT all.

After he left I went out to see everything and noticed the center poles are WAY crooked. I measured and found they are 10 INCHES difference between the front and the back. Now when you look at even the basic framing you can tell it is crooked.

I waited for him to show up today and casually brought it up. He says it doesnt matter. I showed him the joist that is only 3" on the beam that he put in (it's hanging over the other beam 16 1/4")and he lost his shit. Telling me it was my fault because i didnt help yesterday. When i checked to see what was going on around noon there were 5 people standing around.

He yelled at me after i told him to lower his voice over 4 times. Telling to just go away. So i did. Fuck it. He called me a "hot shot" because i was measuring things.

So be honest please. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. If he were hanging a picture crooked? Fine, doesn't hurt anyone. But when you're literally building something on to the house? Yeah, that should probably be done the right way. ######


Prompt: I (18) still live with my parents at home due to studying. I work away for a week every other week. As soon as I leave for work my brother (24M) decides to come in my room and set up camp with his playstation, TV, chair, ETC. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t mind but I’ve recently finished decorating, spending £1000+ so it looked nice. He treats the place with no respect and doesn’t ask me to even go in there. Last week I came home from work and he had his TV set up on my glass desk, as well as his playstation. I’m not even sure if the glass can withstand the weight, I’ve told him this but he still persists. He leaves his cups and plates with food and drink to go mouldy and leaves stains all over my desk and floor , also my clean clothes were thrown on the floor. It’s not a nice thing to expect to come home to a clean room the way I left it and find it trashed with him not even caring. I’ve lost count how many times this has happened and he still doesn’t listen so I’ve decided to put a lock on my door so I can be sure to come home to my room the way I left it. My friends agree with me but my parents think I’m an AH for doing this as they believe I should just leave him be and that I’m over reacting. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. If he wants to use your room he has to treat it with respect.
INFO: why does he feel the need to use your room? ######


Prompt:
This happened last year, before this craziness, but my ex is still angry about it.

My son is in high school. His school has a heavily discounted drivers ed program that they run twice a year, once in the fall and once in the spring. My son's father and I agreed that he would take that program because it was designed around school hours and much less expensive. My son qualified to take the program in the spring, and could get his license at the beginning of June. If he didn't take it in the spring, he couldn't get his license until January.

My son lives with me most of the time and goes to his dad's every other weekend. While he was at his dad's, he was picking on his half sister and his dad decided to punish him by telling him he couldn't take drivers ed until the fall. He did not consult me on this.

I was very upset when he told me this and asked him to change the punishment. He refused because he felt he would undermine his own authority. I pointed out that this punishment made my life harder, because that was 6 more months that I would have to drive him to school, extracurriculars, friends' houses etc. He still refused to change the punishment, so I told him that I was going to pay for drivers ed on my own. I was very frustrated that he wouldn't work with me, especially because I have made sure that my punishments in the past haven't affected his relationships with his father. For example, I don't take away his cell phone because he texts with his dad during the week.

When my son came back to my house, I told him that he could still take driver's ed but he would still not be able to have friends over for a week as his new punishment. He has since been in contact with his father much less and his father blames me for undermining him and letting him take drivers ed anyway. Am I the asshole for undermining my ex? ######

Response: NTA. If he wants to punish your kid in a way that impacts you, he needs to consult you first. Hell, this would punish you more than your kid! ######


Prompt:
My husband has been temporarily laid off. Previously he worked full time (overtime, long hours) and I was a stay at home mom by day  / worked part time at a restaurant in the evening / finishing my master’s degree at night (my mom often babysat the kids because my husband wouldn’t be home in time). Now my job has closed and my school (one class and a lab) has switched to online. My school is Mon and Wed nights from 5 to 8, it’s an online meeting in which I have to participate and interact.

Since all this, husband and I have split parenting duties pretty decently - I do more but he’s doing better than I expected (this has been a long ongoing fight with us where I feel he doesn’t pull his weight / gets way more free time than me). We take turns waking up with the kids and we each put one kid to bed at night. Last week I was off from school. However yesterday my husband had to feed and put both the kids to bed while I did my class. Tonight I ask him “were you planning on me putting both kids to bed?” And he says yes. I go on to explain I don’t think it’s fair, I’m not relaxing, I’m doing schoolwork and that shouldn’t mean I have to do everything the next night while he gets to sit and play video games all evening and night. He gets visibly angry and tells me *one* class isn’t work and he doesn’t agree so to stop talking but he’ll do it. AITA for not letting him get a “night off”? Because I get 0 of those. ######

Response: NTA. If he wants a night off then you guys can schedule it so that way another night you get a night off. And school is 100% work and not relaxing time! ######


Prompt:
Brother and Sister in law are between buying and selling houses. It appears as though the dates of closings aren’t lining up and they are short what they need for the deposit on new place. Brother has asked if I can give them a short term loan of approx 30k for their down payment which they will payback as soon as the other houses closes as they are under contract on both properties.

I said yes, but to have his lawyer draw up a contract stating the terms of the loan. Which are none just that I am loaning X amount of dollars to be repaid by X date.

My brother got all outraged saying “I can’t believe you would ask that, I’m your brother. I didn’t want to borrow money from you because I knew you were going to do this.” Hung up and now is pissed off at me.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. If he intends to pay it back by x date then why would he mind if it was in writing? ######


Prompt:
We have been together for nearly four years. I'm very adamantly childfree, which he knew prior to us dating, and BC doesn't seem to like me, as I've gotten pregnant on it twice already. I'm not in the US and the only doctor I found who will tie my tubes, being that I'm 23 and don't have any children, wants 17,500 of my local currency, which I can in no way afford. However, men can easily get free vasectomies here.

I've asked him (30m) to get a vasectomy since after my last abortion. He always says no, that I can get surgery on myself if I want, and if I ask why he just laughs and says "my body my choice, you can't force me". I've tried explaining that I would never force him to do anything, but that it would be a quick, nearly painless procedure he could get for free, whereas I'd have to pay a lot of cash we don't have and be laid on my ass for a week, and the most I've gotten is that he will "think about it" because he doesn't want anyone touching him "down there".

I'm currently not on BC because it didn't even work and did make me snappy and gain weight, so we haven't done much lately in the bedroom department. He also doesn't like wearing condoms, he will put one on only if one is on hand but won't get up to get one, and no matter how often I explain, he thinks pulling out is sufficient protection. I feel like an AH for continuing to bring it up, but it would really help my peace of mind so much and I can't help feeling that his refusal means he doesn't care about me as much as he says he does. I mean I'd gladly get a tubal if either of us had the means to pay for it, even if it meant I couldn't get up for a week...But he's also right, it is his body and I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. If he doesn’t want a surgical procedure done, that’s his choice. If you don’t want to get on BC, that’s your choice. If both of you are on the same page about not wanting kids then you need to find a compromise. Him not wanting to use condoms just because he doesn’t like them when every other method seems to not work, is selfish.

Edit to clarify: He’s the AH for not compromising with atleast a condom, but he is not one for not wanting a vasectomy. ######


Prompt:
I’m on mobile so sorry
A little background is that and my twin sister(19) currently live in an apartment together and we are half Russian and our mom insisted we learn the language. We are fluent but our little brother(16) isn’t. Our apartment is kind of a Russian zone since we just tend to be more comfortable speaking it with each other.
My parents house partially lit on fire about a week ago and they wanted our brother to stay with us for a bit and we agreed. Tonight while making dinner me and Milan were speaking in Russian and going over the ingredients or asking questions about what to do to each other. Out of nowhere our brother started yelling at how we never included him in anything and rubbed it in his face that we spoke Russian and how we never speak English unless we are talking with him.
I responded by telling him that he chose to quit learning and can ask our mother to teach him again at any point but chose not to. My brother called me an asshole and drove to our aunts house we’re are parents are staying and our dad texted us telling us we shouldn’t be dicks about it and to stop being petty and apologise but personally I feel like what I said was true and okay? So AITA for speaking Russian in front of my brother? ######

Response: NTA. If he doesn't want to learn Russian, then he doesn't have to but he is in your apartment, you can speak whatever language you want when you are talking to each other ######


Prompt:
I’ve been dating a guy for about 9 months. I told him today that I purchased (I was about to, it was on back order) a non permanent dance pole or a “stripper pole” to put in my bedroom for fun. It’s elegant, sexy, it’s good exercise and it’s fun. I thought not only would be fun for me as I like dancing, just as a hobby, but also for him because it’s intimate and sexy and he’s told me before he’d like to see me dance for him.

He told me he doesn’t believe that’s why I bought it, that I’m doing it for other men, that he feels like I’m just doing it for attention, that “only certain kinds of women would buy a pole to have in their home” and that he sees me differently now. I feel horrible, I feel stupid. I’ve never done anything to make him feel like I’m seeing other people, that I’d be unfaithful. I just wanted to have fun and be sexy for him, but now I feel like a slut and I’ve ruined everything.

Did I do something wrong? ######

Response: NTA. If he doesn't trust you now, he never will and you'll be miserable. Get away from him. ######


Prompt:
Edit: by toilet I mean toilet bowl rim mainly

My(23) boyfriend (30) of  5 months is pretty great and has visited my apartment pretty frequently as of late. He generally picks up after himself ok enough, there is one hug pet peeve that he is aggrrivating.  When he uses my toilet ,he regularly leaves pee under the lid on the rim that builds up and causes a smell. It took me a while to realize this is what was happening as he was using my guest bathroom that I'm never in.

 He feels that since he's the guest, and he has a medical condition that effects his aim, it's not his responsibility to keep my bathroom clean.

As a girl, I rarely dirty this part of the toilet and it feels gross to have to wipe down the stains so often. I've noticed this with my brother(12) and a male friend that has visited, so idk if it's just a guy thing but I find it pretty gross and disturbing.

How much do you ask frequent guests to clean after themselves? Am I overreacting or is he just being a dick? ######

Response: NTA. If he can’t stand and aim then sit the fuck down ######