Prompt:
Throwaway account.

So... Long story short, my best friend got divorced after cheating on her husband. They tried to make it work for months before it came to that, even though she was still in a relationship with the other person, unbeknownst to the ex husband. It was.... A lot. And messy. But I supported her the best I could long distance, not judging her, just wanting her to make the best decision given the circumstances.

Fast forward about 6 months from the actual divorce, and well over a year since this all started. BFF is still with the other guy, and her ex has moved on and now has a gf. I remained friends with the ex on social media because I like him. I think he is a good person. Also, she never unfollowed him and continued to like his posts including pictures of him and his new girl. I MADE SURE that she had liked one of their photos before I started liking his stuff again!

Last week he posted a cute picture with her with a #wcw tag and I liked the picture. A day or so ago BFF texted me telling me it really hurt her that I like his posts about his new girlfriend. I was really apologetic but also pointed out that she had been liking their photos together so I didn't think it would bother her.  She accepted my apology but went on to explain that basically he moved on from their relationship too quickly after pretending to work on it, so she was hurt..... Even though she was seeing the other dude all the while?! I was flabbergasted, and now I'm frustrated with the whole situation.

Sounds really dumb and it is, but I would like an outsider's opinion.

Am I an asshole for liking his pictures? ######

Response: NTA - She cannot get mad at you for liking 1 picture, when she even liked one herself! This is very middle school drama. ######


Prompt:
My roommate got pregnant and asked me to move out so her bf could move in and they could turn my bedroom into a nursery for the baby.

That made sense to me and I had absolutely no problem moving out. My paychecks have been a little unstable anyway, so I had been using my savings to pay rent. So ending the lease early was actually really helpful for me so I can build up my savings again.

I thought I would just go live at parents house for awhile. They are staying at another house they have in different part of the country. They’ve said I can stay there for free as long as I take care of the place and do all the basic upkeep.

The plan was that I would officially move out at the end of this month.

Two weeks ago though my  roommate and her boyfriend got into a big fight and broke up. I don’t know the details. I just know that he doesn’t want to live here with her anymore.

After that my roommate asked If I wanted to stay. I said no because with a baby around the corner (her due date is in early July) I don’t think it will be a pleasant living situation. So since then she has been trying to get a new roommate by posting all over online, but so far no one contacted her about it.

Earlier today she came up to me very seriously and sort of pleaded with me to stay. She said she hasn’t been able to find anyone interested in moving in and she won’t be able to afford rent next month unless someone moves in and doesn’t know what else to do.

I totally get she is in a very tough and scary position now and I do feel sorry for her, but staying at my parents just makes more financial sense for me. It would only hurt me financially to continue to stay here and pay rent. ######

Response:
 NTA - She asked you to move out.  You're not required to ping pong your life over her volatile situations.

There's nothing wrong with her asking you, it certainly makes sense from where she's coming from, but she had already asked you to move out, you made plans, and then her situation changed.  It's not on you to make sure her and her baby are the first priority.  If you're friends, that's certainly an option you can choose, but you're not TA for following the original plan that she had requested. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I live together, and she’s usually pretty relaxed and easy to get along with. But today she put on a smaller tank top, and some shorts, looked in the mirror and asked if the top made her look fat.

Now my girlfriend isn’t fat per se, but she’s a little chubby. She’s still attractive, but she’s not a 2% body fat supermodel. Neither am I, but I don’t get upset if someone points it out.

I said she looked great, and she said that I didn’t answer the question. I asked if she really wanted to know the answer and she said yes. I said the top was a little small, and not super flattering. She then got mad and said that was rude and then started crying.

At this point I got annoyed, and said she shouldn’t ask trap questions if she’s going to cry about it afterwards. I gave her a perfectly nice answer in the first place, and she wanted an honest answer.

She claimed she wanted “support”. We’ve been fighting all day about it.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - She asked you a question you knew she wouldn't like the answer to so you gave her a safe answer, she wouldn't take it and insisted on the truth, then got mad at you for it. I hate when people pull this kind of stunt. ######


Prompt:
Before I tell you the story I will say I don't have an issue with people believing what they want. With that said, on with the story.

Before the lockdown I was sitting on my SIL's doorstep talking and a van pulled into our shared driveway (Rural community). A woman got out with a little girl (about 4 or 5). The woman asked if we had thought about what happens after we die. I immediately said, "Thank you but neither of us is interested in converting." I would never speak for my sister in law normally but I knew her thinking on religion and that she has even less filter than I do, so figured since I am the more diplomatic, I should respond.  The woman said ok but then asked if her daughter could read us a verse out of the bible. I had just told her we weren't interested and now I'm irritated but when it comes to kids I have a real soft spot and hate to disappoint them or hurt their feelings if I can avoid it. I looked at my SIL and she just nodded. I said alright and the little girl read the verse (can't remember for the life of me) and thanked her then asked the woman to send her daughter back to the van. Once the little girl got into the van, I looked at the woman and berated her for using her little girl like that and how dare she not accept a no from us after we politely declined. I also told her to never show her face on my property again and to get out (I never swore or threatened her in any way). I then went to the nearest Kingdom hall and told them about it and told them I wanted my address put on the no contact list and that I would tell the next JW that shows up to go away in less than polite wording.

AITA for reacting like that. ######

Response: NTA - she asked a question and you said you weren't interested.  She chose to ignore that and disrespect your position, using a child to try and manipulate you. ######


Prompt:
I'm not a native english speaker and my parents are immigrants. They don't speak the language fluently so whenever I'm talking to them on the phone I have to speak our native language. This however upsets some people, who for some reason feel uncomfortable about this.

In particular one of my ex-roommates told me that she was irritated by me speaking another language in our house and that it felt like I was shittalking her (which I have never done...I'm not the gossip-y type and I have more important things to talk to with my parents on the phone than my roommate).

I tried avoiding this by going outside whenever I wanted to talk to my parents, but even then sometimes I couldn't go outside (it was raining or similar circumsances) and people outsidereacted even worse to me talking in another language on the phone (one guy insulted me and spit on the floor after hearing me talk on the phone).

What am I supposed to do? I just see it as a private conversation with my parents...they're both nice people, just a bit old. ######

Response: NTA - screw those people. If your roommate is worried that your shit talking them, maybe they need to evaluate why they think that. ######


Prompt:
Hi Reddit. So last year I had the privilege of turning 18, and I told my mother every year how I didn’t want a party at all and that big parties made me miserable. Our family is Filipino American, so I guess it would’ve been a huge milestone. The months leading to the affair, I would tell mom I just wanna go out to the city and do things for my birthday. I have severe social anxiety, and besides my chronic illnesses and issues being around loud and noisy people makes me feel like garbage. So under the premise of a themed party from my uncle, I walk into a Chinese restaurant in a cosplay outfit already feeling humiliated by the stares only to be surrounded by literally every family member under the sun. I was mortified and cried and ran back into the car because I was both sick and betrayed. My mom threw that party for her, and even said that herself when I began to cry: “please just do this for me!”

It’s not that I didn’t like the food or the effort put into it, it’s the fact she didn’t listen to me and she still doesn’t see what she did wrong or apologized for it at all. I cried for an hour in the car and my dad refused to take me home. It wasn’t until I reluctantly went back into the restaurant to eat that people finally left. My requests were never heard and apparently she’d be planning this for months, and even just looking back makes me cry in frustration. I know my mother meant well, but I made a scene and I still feel resentful because of it. AITA?... ######

Response: NTA - said it herself, she didn't throw you an 18th bday party for you. She was selfish and ignored your pleas to forgo a big party. She chose her happiness over yours on YOUR birthday. she's TA and so is your father for going along with it and forcing you to comply ######


Prompt:
Ok people of reddit I need your help. This situation is weighing heavy on my heart and noggin and I’m completely unsure what to do.

I am dog sitting for an owner and it is very clear to me and others that have seen the dog that this dog is being neglected.

Here is the information/facts I have:
• dog is only fed once a day because owner is at work and doesn’t want to come home to accidents
• dog has no toys, bed, cage or dog treats
• dog’s spine, ribs and hips are visible (there is no fat on the dog’s body)
• dog has ring around neck under collar possibly due to collar being tight and being rubbed raw
• dog is locked in garage/laundry room when dog is “too excited and is overwhelming” by the owner
• dog is hardly walked and doesn’t get much exercise (which is why dog is “overwhelming” because dog doesn’t get energy out)
• dog’s nails are so long that when taken on a walk they drag on the ground
• dog’s teeth are black and breathe smells like poop

I know the dog is in the teens of age but acts like a 2 year old with plenty of love and energy. Very nice dog overall; doesn’t bite, just wants to be by you at all times and is very sweet.

I’m getting mixed responses from family/friends being: “it’s not your place” “you don’t know what health conditions dog has” “you should say something to the owner” “you should report owner”

I personally am an absolute dog lover. It breaks my heart seeing a dog treated like this. I don’t understand why people get pets and then treat it awfully. I feel I need to be the dogs advocate.

Help me out here... should I leave it be or should I report the owner? I feel there’s so much wrong that I can’t just pick one thing to say to the owner. ######

Response: NTA - Report it! There might be issues (like you already wrote down) and the dog needs help, a dog cant speak up for themself and it is better to get it checked out how the dogs life is. If there isn't actual anything wrong they won't take the dog away but incase there is something wrong they can perhaps help the dog. ######


Prompt: I like to think that I am a very laid back individual with very few things that bother me, I have been married for 6 years together for 8 and have an 18 month old daughter. So I need to know if I'm the asshole. When my wife goes out with friends I would like to know at what time she plans on being home and to let me know if that is going to change. The second issue, I have problems sleeping when she isn't home and she knows this. So on nights that I work I ask her to be home some what early so I can sleep. Does this make me the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA - Reddit makes me die sometimes lol.... A baby in the house, mother needs to go out into late hours with her friends. Best thing is, if roles were flipped, people would be ANGERED that the father was going out because hes a parent too! And yes yes, attack me with "the role reversal blah blah blah situational blah blah blah". Truth is the mothers the asshole here. You cant sleep because you have to stay alert for your baby and have work at 5am, meanwhile mother is out having a good time.

How lovely

What do the comments say when its a woman making this exact same post? "🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 run girl🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩" and "he needs to start parenting too! It takes 2 to make a baby and you should both be there with the baby not just you while hes with his friends!" Or my personal favorite "leave him and take full custody, hes definitely not ready to be a father. And make sure to collect child support!" ######


Prompt: My husband is trying to make me add his mom on Facebook. I don’t want to. I’ve told him no several times but he just won’t lay off of me about it. I know she’s hounding him about getting me to do it, but I just don’t want her on my page. At first he said she wants to see pictures and videos of the baby and that by not adding her I’m “keeping the baby from her”, but we have a shared album on our phones we both add things to to where she can see them whenever she wants. I also told him that he’s free to send her anything I post related to the baby that he thinks she’ll like. He said that’s not enough. He’s now saying I’m being disrespectful to his mom by not adding her and he doesn’t give a fuck that I don’t like her. I feel it’s disrespectful of him to keep asking me after I say no and trying to force me to add her. AITA here? ######

Response: NTA - r/justnomil thank me later tag me in posts gods speed and devils thunder. ######


Prompt:
Hi all,

So I referred my girlfriend for my old job (I was more or less promoted for got a 10k raise) She got the job and is now also paid 10K more a year than she used to be paid. We live together as well.

I was given a referral bonus of 1K. She is insistent that I share it with her. I was not too fond of this idea and she is now very upset because “I make so much more money than her” and “she does so much for me” and “she works so hard at the new job” etc. Am I an asshole? ######

Response: NTA - Question for you, if your girlfriend is this demanding about something like this do you really want to see her at work too?  Seems like being home with her would be enough.... ######


Prompt:
okay,so me(15f) got a phone last year, and ever since then my mom and my grandma are forcing me to tell them my password,my grandma always tries to snoop around my phone and check all the photos...

I dont take my phone everywhere,i dont take my phone to school as it is not allowed.my mom says that whenever there is no battery on her phone and she needs to talk to somebody,then she can use mine so she wants to know my password...but I'm 1000% sure she uses it for watching shows,youtube  and complete the mobile data i have on my phone,she also doesn't login into her account so everything she watches comes up in my youtube account.It's annoying.

My grandma tries to snatch my phone and see what i have in it even though i warned her not to.my mom and my grandma argue with me for not telling them my password.i dont want them to know every single thing i do.

I genuinely think that I'm not TA for it cuz u know,...privacy but I'm having second thoughts,
 AITA for it? ######

Response:
 NTA - Privacy is a right, but *please* be responsible and use the internet safely (remember, you're a 15yo girl, many dangers on the internet, bla bla bla).

If your mom wants to use the mobile data you can share it with her with the data sharing setting most phones have. If I were you I'd set the phone to lock itself after a few seconds without being used so that they cannot snoop when you don't have it in your hands, and if they try to look over your shoulder at the screen then set the brightness to low (annoying at first but you'll get used to it). ######


Prompt:
TLDR: Friends borrow/given money. Splurge money. Expect more.

As the pandemic started, I knew several friends that would be out of work. Bartenders/wait staff, etc.

I starting reaching out to help if I could. A few took me up on the offer... many didn’t.

Two in particular really rubbed me the wrong way.

One needed money and I gave it to her. Then I saw in social media her going out and partying. Later she asked for a $300 loan until payday (she had been getting some hours at work). She said LOAN. She set the date. There were expectations set. On that day, I have her until about noon and hadn’t heard anything. FB post.. she’s on her way to Florida for the beach. I text her and ask about payday. She asks if she can just give me part of the money (never acknowledges that she’s literally at the beach and has posted pics of crab legs she’s eating). I mull this over for a few hours and ask for the payment in full. I get a cash app transfer in full and not a single word since (3 weeks now)

Another friend. Had an $800 bill due. I give $500 and she was like “that won’t pay the bill!”  Later she sets up Onlyfans site and invites me to join to “help each other out”. I ignore the message. 2 weeks go by.. she drives to FL and spent the weekend at the beach. Then flew to New England and spent a week posting pics of her and her friends eating, drinking and beach going. This morning “hey!  I’m trying to move ASAP. My car insurance is due .......”
My response to her is still pending.....

AITA???!!!??? ######

Response:
 NTA - Please just stop giving them money all together. None of them are entitled to your money and honestly after the first red flag I would've stopped. Say you can't help them anymore and leave it at that. Don't fork over ant information like "oh I saw you here and here" they'll just get defensive and give you excuses.

Stand with a firm "I just can't and I don't have to tell you why" and be done. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is 3. My next door neighbor has a 3 year old son. My neighbor is an essential worker so I watch her son during the day. He and my daughter are very good friends and tell me often that they are married. It’s obviously innocent and cute.

Since I’m still working, I’ve been letting them watch a lot of tv so I can get my work done. They like to cuddle up together under a blanket while they watch. Sometimes they even fall asleep (which is a total bonus for me.)

They were knocked out under the blanket together one afternoon and I didn’t want to wake them up by moving them. My daughters father FaceTimed me and asked to see her. I told him she wasn’t sleeping but I turned the camera around and showed her napping with her friend. Her father hung up and later called me and yelled at me for allowing her to cuddle with a boy. He said it was inappropriate and that I was encouraging an unhealthy relationship. I told him he was being creepy and they’re 3. He got very angry and is telling people that I am wrongly calling him names. Am I the asshole for calling him a creep? ######

Response: NTA - people need to stop sexualizing children like this, it’s super gross. You were right to call it creepy because it’s totally inappropriate. They’re children, they can’t even read and your husband is already projecting stuff onto them. ######


Prompt:
I'm not a native english speaker and my parents are immigrants. They don't speak the language fluently so whenever I'm talking to them on the phone I have to speak our native language. This however upsets some people, who for some reason feel uncomfortable about this.

In particular one of my ex-roommates told me that she was irritated by me speaking another language in our house and that it felt like I was shittalking her (which I have never done...I'm not the gossip-y type and I have more important things to talk to with my parents on the phone than my roommate).

I tried avoiding this by going outside whenever I wanted to talk to my parents, but even then sometimes I couldn't go outside (it was raining or similar circumsances) and people outsidereacted even worse to me talking in another language on the phone (one guy insulted me and spit on the floor after hearing me talk on the phone).

What am I supposed to do? I just see it as a private conversation with my parents...they're both nice people, just a bit old. ######

Response: NTA - people are being assholes to you for no good reason. There's nothing they really need to hear in your conversation, it's not for them or about them. If you're not glancing at people significantly and making faces or something that would suggest you were talking about them, they can just mind their own business. ######


Prompt:
Hey guys, new to the sub.

Anyway, this is gonna be a short description.

&#x200B;

(We were playing online. This will make more sense)

The day prior, we were just playing some games because it was late and we had nothing else to do. That's all we did. We celebrated, then went to sleep. The next day (today), this exchange happened (Me = OP, friend = F, and this is all word-for-word) :

Yesterday at 23:53

F : (image url)

Your welcome

&#x200B;

OP :now that you've sent me that pic i'll just block you now.

&#x200B;

F: Ok boomer

So angry

##

OP: dude u sent me porn

##

F: Yeah I did

##

OP: why

##

F: And?

Meme

##

OP: it's not a meme.

it's just porn

i didn't ask for one.

##

F: It is funny though

##

OP: no it's not

it's just a guy c\*\*\*ing.

##

F: U dont get a joke

&#x200B;

OP: no it's not

it's just a guy c\*\*\*ing.

##

F: XD

Cmon bro

Dude I think ur a little bit of a baby

##

OP: dude

you sent a minor porn.

&#x200B;

\*END OF CHAT\*

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm 14. I did not ask once for this guy to send me a guy c\*\*\*ing. If you guys want me to post the image (I doubt redditors would) then i would. So, Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA - particularly if your friend was older, he could be trying to groom you. Well done for blocking him. Don't ever feel bad for standing your ground when it comes to people making you feel uncomfortable - he could have said sorry and promised not to do it again, but he didn't. That's not a friend. ######


Prompt:
I gave birth January 4th 2018 to the cutest (may be a little biased there) little girl.

My relationship with her father was low contact when we broke up (he wasnt ready to be a father...despite having a second child born in May 2018?)

He would visit every weekend, he didnt want custody and probably wouldn't get anything other than supervised anyway due to his history.

His partner started posting pictures that I sent to him with captions as though it was her baby which was strike 1, I asked him to stop it which led to this huge fight which I wont go into detail about.

Then come to August 2018 he just disappears from her life.

Last week he contacted me out of the blue asking for some pictures of our daughter.

I haven't sent him anything and haven't responded.

But the group I'm in say I'm an AH and should just send at least one picture, be the bigger person.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - Part of being a parent means making hard decisions in order to protect your child. If he wants to be part of her life, let it happen legally.

Edit: Also, unless you have a legal custody agreement, he could potentially take your daughter, disappear, and there’s not a thing you can do about it because he’s her father. Might want to hit up r/legaladvice ######


Prompt: My husband and I are expecting our first child - a boy - in a couple of months. My husband and his parents are all math geniuses and wanted his name to include some math reference. I thought it was a cute and funny idea. Recently, my husband thought of a name. I thought of names too. I like Dylan, Jared and Loren. My husband was like "um, yeah. I was thinking Cube." Like a Rubik Cube. I thought he was joking but he was serious. I told him that was the stupidest name ever. He told me to think of it as "Cute." I told him I'd rather name him Sweater before Cube. ######

Response: NTA - parents who think of these "cute" names should go change their own names to it instead of inflicting them on their kids who have to go through grade school with them. ######


Prompt:
My sister in law has a horrible habit of making impulsive decisions at the drop of a hat, usually requiring my wife to get her out of situations and pick up the pieces.
She also has a habit of adopting animals just because they look cute and giving them away as soon as they grow up, or prove too much to handle.

Recently, somehow, someway, she managed to obtain a fox. A fox that's barely older than a baby.

Foxes are illegal to own where we live, even with a permit, and she knows this. I don't know alot about foxes, but I do know that they are very high maintenance and hard to take care of, plus my sister in law has a tendency to neglect the animals, which often leads to call a regarding the welfare of the animals.

I texted her shortly after I found about, saying that foxes were illegal to own, but to not let him out because he probably couldn't defend or hunt. She replied that she knew perfectly well what she was doing (spoiler alert! she didn't) and to mind my own business.

I brought up animal control to my wife, but she flat out refused. She said that she'd never forgive me if I called them.

But I was concerned for the Fox and, in the end, called animals control, who took away the fox, gave my sister in law a fine (17,000) and now she's facing jail time. She's furious, and so is my wife, who is now refusing to talk to me, even though it's been a week since the whole ordeal.

An input? ######

Response: NTA - owning foxes is illegal for a reason, she broke the law and knew it. Especially having a history of neglecting animals and pushing them onto someone else when they become too much work for her. ######


Prompt:
So I'm engaged. This news has been circling through my old high school friends and I've been getting a lot of nice messages about it from everyone except this girl Kate. Kate and I were friends in middle school/high school, but I haven't spoken to her since then (we are both 25).

When we were kids she was very clear that her whole goal in life was to get married and become a SAHM. Dope, you do you. She's always been very traditional and feminine and I've always been very tomboyish/masculine. This never posed an issue when we were friends.

Since I got engaged Kate has felt the need to let me, and everyone else, know how she "doesn't understand how" I'm engaged. She said "OP is just not what anyone thinks of as wife material" and "OP just isn't very feminine, it's surprising she's getting married first" or just straight up making fun of the fact that I make more money than my fiance and he's taking my last name.

I sent her a message "hey kate. I've heard from some other people what you've been saying and it's hurtful to me" and she hasn't stopped. My best friend thinks I should be more empathetic because Kate always imagined she'd be pregnant with baby #1 at 25, and instead she's never even had a boyfriend.

This is where I might be TA. We were in a group chat talking about my wedding and Kate said "it's crazy that you're getting married when you don't even shave your legs" and I just snapped and wrote "stop shitting on me just because you're lonely. No one wants to marry you because you have no thoughts or feelings or ambitions outside of being a wife or a mother. You're just jealous because I'm successful and happy and you're living at home with mom and dad and failing on Christian Mingle"

I know I was mean, but I feel like I was pushed and I tried to tell her that she was hurting me. Other people told her to stop as well. ######

Response: NTA - or rather, totally justifiable asshole. People don't seem to understand consequences these days, it's all fun until their feelings get hurt. She is hurting and taking it out on you, despite you and many others repeatedly telling her to stop. Yes you could've put the phone down or responded to just her or done a number of different things, but honestly she needs to grow up and I can't blame you for snapping. You don't deserve to be belittled like that (especially during such a stressful time as wedding planning) because she's insecure and bitter. ######


Prompt:
For context, I'm sixteen and my brother is eight and autistic.

My brother is developing an infection on his leg that's getting worse every day. Just three months ago, I had to do a major surgery on both legs for this exact infection - MRSA - and almost had to amputate. I can tell that my brother is developing the same thing, but my parents are refusing to take him to the hospital and insist on using various creams on the spot that aren't prescribed and don't seem to be helping.

I've asked both my parents to please take him to the hospital, because I struggled so much with my own surgery and Im hoping if we take him now, we won't have to operate on his legs. However, my mom is insistent that it's no big deal (she insisted this last time when it happened to me too, which is why my legs got so bad before I was taken to emergency). My dad just complains about how my mom would yell if he took him to the hospital and we've argued about this but he won't budge.

I want to take my brother to the hospital, maybe early in the morning before my parents wake up. I can cover the Healthcare costs with the money I've earned tutoring and all the money I've saved all my life from birthdays and holidays. Granted, I can't sign consent forms for him as I'm not an adult yet, but that's only if he needs surgery and I don't think he does yet, though he will if it goes untreated for a week. ######

Response:
 NTA - oh my goodness! Take him to the hospital and then contact CPS! They are literally putting his life at risk!

When I was a kid my mother was very very ill and would refuse to take us to the hospital because her hallucinations told her not to. Came very very close to killing my sister that way. ( Ended up having to have immediate emergency surgery and was minutes from death. Literally). To this day I still get angry sometimes when I think about how people knew about this stuff but never did anything about it. Never stepped in. Never reported it. ######


Prompt:
My cousin had a daughter, and passed away when she was 10. The kid's dad is a royal douche but somehow got full custody, so for the last couple years my relatives have been taking turns hosting the daughter.

Each has had her for a couple months at a time and while her primary residence is her dad's place she's there maybe one night every few months, then the next morning she goes to the next house. Cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandparents have all taken their turn hosting.

The reason we're taking turns is that she's not a *bad* kid but she's had some... issues. I am sympathetic to the situation because I did basically the same thing as her growing up (my parents were not the nicest people) but everyone has struggled to have her more than a few months because she gets into arguments at school and at home and sometimes stuff goes missing from the homes she's staying in. No one has ever caught her stealing but she'll usually have a sudden cash flow right after something expensive goes missing. She claims the money is from her dad and no one has been able to prove otherwise.

I'm the only one who hasn't hosted her yet and my cousin she's currently with wants me to take a turn hosting. I've said no because while I can afford it and have a guest room I'm only 6 years older than her (21 to her 15) and I don't know what to do with her, plus if she's a nightmare and lockdown goes back to being heavily restricted I might not be able to get someone else to take their turn.

I'm being pressured by several family members to take my turn despite never agreeing to it before now, and I feel really bad for not agreeing.

AITA for not wanting to take a turn? ######

Response: NTA - of course she has problems! Her mom died 5 years ago and the family has been playing hot potato with her since then instead of allowing her to have a stable life. What the fuck is wrong with your family? Unless her father is dangerous to her personal safety, she needs to be returned home. She’s a human child, not a fucking Barbie accessory for everyone to share. Jesus. ######


Prompt:
My friend, L, sent me a series of pictures that said “Want to play a game where you invest $100 and end up making $800?” With a circle of names and then a larger circle of names. It was obviously a pyramid scheme so I asked her if she knew what it was. She said it was an octagon scheme and if I wanted to play. She had already sent the money, and hadn’t signed a contract or anything. I asked her for the name of who brought her in, and I have them on facebook now. WIBTA if I called the police and reported a pyramid scheme? I just want to protect others from a stupid scam like this, especially in such trying times.

TL;DR Friend is in an “octagon scheme” and tried to recruit me, should I report the person who recruited her to the authorities? ######

Response: NTA - octagon scheme smh, are they going through every other shape just not to be known as a pyramid scheme? Report to FB, these schemes are scamming people for money ######


Prompt: My girlfriend of almost 4 years and I live together and during coronavirus I have been getting unemployment because my work isn’t open, but hers just opened back up last week. She works about 20 minutes away from the house and always asks me to take her to work when we both have cars. She tells me it’s to spend time with each other but we live together and I don’t see the point in taking 40 minutes round trip to take her to work and pick her up. Today she was visibly mad about me not wanting to take her to work and I don’t understand why because we are always with each other. ######

Response: NTA - obviously you've got nothing to do currently but what should you spend more than an hour of your day driving (half of which with an empty car) it would be different if she had no car or you driving her was quicker than the bus.. but she can literally drive her self ######


Prompt:
Took my 4 year old son to the park with my wife and her mum. Son has a little bike that’s his faithful companion everytime we go. He wanted to sit and watch some swans by the lake so we settled down on the grass nearby and left the bike directly behind us to get a closer look at the wildlife. I’m talking a couple of feet at most.

A small girl similar in age to my son who had been sitting with her family (and who had been watching my son and the bike with interest when we came) got up while we weren’t facing her and took the bike. We hadn’t noticed until we turned around- and there she was with her family sat on it.

My wife immediately said ‘excuse me, can we have our bike back?’ And the family laughed her off saying no no, kids play, kids play. They didn’t speak English very well so maybe they couldn’t pick up on the fact that wife and I were uncomfortable.

My son obviously started getting upset because as far as he’s concerned someone’s stolen his bike. I asked for the bike back, again they laughed it off.

I finally turned to the girl and told her to get off, she started crying and pushed off the bike and ran to her parent in a small tantrum.

Obviously I had to sanitise the handles etc before giving it back to my son because of the climate and the family looked pretty irritated but didn’t say anything. My mother in law however berated both myself and my wife saying we were unbelievably rude and that I was ‘unnecessarily insulting’ the family by sanitising the bike in front of them and that I shouldn’t have taken the bike off the little girl, and ‘in her day’ people knew the meaning of community etc. ######

Response: NTA - not only is this a terrible time to "sharing" with strangers, the family knew enough to understand that your wife wanted the bike back and still said no. They are lucky you were as polite as you were. I would have had steam coming out my ears. You're MIL is happy risking her grandson's health for the sake of politeness? She's definitely an asshole. ######


Prompt: My husband is cooking dinner tonight. He told me to go for a walk after he finished work because it had been a long day inside with the kids. I happily obliged and went for a 10 minute jog. I got home, he had started dinner and the house smelled great. I told him this as well. He declared though that I would so not like it and I asked why. He was adding chickpeas to the dish (he knows I hate the taste of chickpeas). I didn’t say anything, I just asked if I could help with cooking. He was saying that he doesn’t like how I get annoyed when he cooks something I don’t like. Now I hadn’t said anything and I didn’t think I made a face, I just stood there and did what I could to help. I told him that it was fine, he is the one cooking and if he wants chickpeas that’s what we have. He went on to say that he could tell I was annoyed and he didn’t like that. I told him he is right, I don’t like chickpeas but I’m not angry or annoyed. It’s not the first time that he had knowingly used an ingredient I don’t like so I wasn’t surprised. I know if I eat around the chickpeas he’ll get annoyed, so even though I hate them I’ll probably just eat a couple. But he’ll still get annoyed if I don’t eat them all. Am I the asshole for not wanting to eat a particular ingredient in tonight’s dinner? He says I rolled my eyes and that I’m ‘visibly annoyed.’ ######

Response: NTA - not only did he purposefully put ingredients in a meal that you don’t like, he went out of his way to note that you wouldn’t like it and it seems tried to convince either you or himself that you were annoyed when you were displaying no signs of being such. He’s practically picking a fight about it, and I’d imagine there’s underlying issues which he may or may not have communicated to you before. I would sit down and try and talk about how you each feel when this happens and see why he might be doing this. Baiting your partner into a fight is never good behaviour. ######


Prompt:
My flatmates girlfriend has been living here the past few weeks (not visiting- living here 24/7) and I told him today it's not cool and so he told her to leave. They have only been dating a short while (couple months) and she normally lives with her family.

For context: they don't just stay in their room- they occupy the common areas all the time. It is a small apartment for two people. For example we have a sofa for two people in the living room, when she is over I can't sit down and enjoy the TV as they are in there cuddling all the time.

Currently none of us are working also which exasperated the issue as we were seeing each other 24/7 and I felt like I had no personal space anymore. ######

Response: NTA - not even lightly.   One night maybe once or twice a week is one thing.   Several weeks is seriously OTT. ######


Prompt:
Just to preface this, my wife is wonderful and almost never gets me upset, and I’m just making this thread to see if I did something wrong and need to apologize to her.

So I was talking with my two friends, one who just moved across the country, and we were planning a gaming night to catch up and spend time together.

My wife mentioned later that day that my family was having a birthday party for my niece, but told me she was just gonna go. Normally she’ll ask my to come, and since she said only she was going, I assumed it wasn’t a big thing and she was just going to visit her family.

So she goes to the party and has fun, and I’m getting ready for the game night. Then, about one hour before my friends and I said we were gonna play, my wife starts calling and texting me, telling me she wished I was at the party too (which is understandable because we always have fun together at parties), but then she started making me feel bad about not going, even though I already told her I was going to be with friends that day.

She called me in front of her family and they would always take her phone so they could yell at me and tell me “it’s your nieces birthday today” and “don’t play games with your friends, you’re always in your room playing games” (even though I’m not, I’m usually working in my room). And I got frustrated and started ignoring my wife’s calls because at this point it felt like she was just getting mad at me for not cancelling plans with my friends because she wanted me to be at a party with her.

Also for the record, I ALWAYS go to family parties with her and this is the first one I’ve skipped, which made me really upset that the one time I didn’t go was the biggest deal to her and my family.

TL;DR: Made plans to play games with friends, wife tells me later that there’s a family birthday party but it’s okay if I don’t go. Once she’s at the party she changes her mind and gets mad at me for not cancelling plans with my friends to go to the party with her ######

Response:
 NTA - not even a little bit.

Actually though, while wife isn't an angel here, I'm giving the major asshole tag to her family. It sounds to me like they shamed her for you not going, it got to her (hence her only calling you about it once she was at the party) and it spiraled from there.

Yes, she absolutely needs to stand up to her family and have your back. But I'd start there. And if it turns out it was also her being mad you didn't offer to go, even though she didn't ask, you guys need to talk about communication between each other as well. ######


Prompt:
I wanna keep this a little vague for privacy.

My gf recently expressed interest in learning a new instrument, she said it was something she'd always wanted to do. I play a few instruments myself so I thought it would be a great gift for her since I could help her learn and we could play together, and I know she's been bored stuck at home.

So I surprised her with it on Friday and she loved it, posting pictures everywhere and saying she couldn't wait for her friend to come over and help her set it up and that he would be giving her lessons.

I'll admit I was a little offended she didn't ask me but whatever, her friend has been playing for a long time as well so I get it.

Yesterday, on Monday, I found out that she had been sleeping with her friend. She told me she was going to start dating him and that she was sorry but we were done, it came out of nowhere at first but she had been acting distant lately.

I stopped by today to get some of my stuff and I told her I was taking the instrument I bought her. The thought of her taking that gift, and bonding over it with the guy she was cheating with just ruined me. She called me an asshole and said she didn't know how to explain to everyone where her new instrument went because she lied and told everyone (including her new bf) that she bought it with her own money.

I feel like kind of a dick for taking it back, but I spent a lot on it and she only had it for 3 days.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA - normally I say once you give a gift you can’t take it back but in this instance I think she was the AH. ######


Prompt:
TW; some sensitive topics mentioned!

I considered, briefly not posting but decided to go ahead on a throw away.

My ex’s mother was very controlling, if she didn’t get her way then it was hell, she very often threw it in my ex’s face that he was aggressive (my ex was the calmest man you’d meet, he hated raised voices and would very frequently back down if he saw a fight oncoming)

We moved in together and this made life hell, she’d text him at the early hours drunk out of her mind and tell him nasty manipulative things, about him or his father.

When I found out I was pregnant she said the nastiest thing I could ever imagine, I guess after a while my ex believed her because we buried him not too long after.

I fully believe it was her fault.

Four weeks ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.

I guess MIL figured it was around my due date since I haven’t posted anything so she couldn’t have found anything out over social media.

She tells me she’s back on her meds and she broke down sobbing, in the almost 10 years I knew my ex we’ve never seen that woman cry, she asked to at least know the babies name and gender - I refused, told her to ask her son for our babies name and hung up.

I told my mother who claims I was overly harsh and she can’t believe I’d say something like that to someone who is mentally unwell and that it’s just spiteful to not do the bare minimum.

My ex would’ve backed down, so I don’t know what he would’ve wanted.

AITA? ######

Response: Nta - nope. Fuck that. Don’t give that woman anything ######


Prompt:
My roommate and I were close friends when we first moved in together a year and a half ago. Not long after we signed our 2nd year lease, the friendship went downhill and a big argument led us to agreeing we would end our friendship but continue living together until the lease was up.

Most of the time we function well as roommates only. Other times, like today, she gets emotional about something or other and picks a fight with me, which usually ends up with me trying to remove myself from the situation and her following me around the house yelling about how no one cares about her feelings, I treat her like shit, she helps everyone out but no one supports her when she needs it, etc.

She doesn't have any friends besides her mom. She was laid off in March and hasn't seen anyone except for me since then. Due to our proximity and years of familiarity, she sometimes slips back into acting like we're friends again, but I would rather we didn't. I know she's very lonely.

The thing is...she's right. I don't care about her feelings. Not anymore. I wish her well in life but she is and always has been an emotionally draining person and I am done being the one that's drained. When she directs her frustration at me, I don't have the capacity to do anything except stare at her blankly until she wears herself out. That's what makes me feel like an asshole. Her social/life situation sucks, but we BOTH agreed to end the friendship and I don't feel it's my responsibility anymore to make her feel better. ######

Response: NTA - no wonder she doesn’t have friends if she’s the kind of person who will follow someone around the house to yell at them when it’s clear they’re trying to exit the situation. You are not required to be her sole social outlet just because there’s a pandemic. She presumably has internet access, she can access support, she’s choosing not to. That’s a whole lot of not your responsibility. ######


Prompt:
Hello,

First of all, sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my native langage.

Recently, I (20f) had an argument with my boyfriend (25m). We've been together for almost two years now and I've never hidden the fact that I have severe endometriosis. Because of that I had to go under surgery to remove life threatening cysts (my ovaries could have litteraly explod). I want kids, but later, when I can afford to take care of them. Now is my problem, because of the cysts and the disease in general, I'm pratically sterile, and I would have to freeze my last eggs to preserve them and use them when I'll want kids. For that I have to go under treatment for a month, then collect the eggs through another surgery and to be sure I'll have chances to get pregnant I have to go through this 3 or 4 times. (It would cost me nothing, my assurance will pay for 5 tries max)

My parents support me, because my mother went through the same thing, they want grandchildren and my happiness, but my boyfriend disagree. He does not want kids, I never asked him to become a father in our situation but I want to save my chances for later. He thinks that because he does not want kids, I should not try to save my eggs because he won't change his mind. I want to do it for me, nothing tells me he won't change his mind, or that we will still be together when I want kids. I think he's being selfish and inconsiderate of my own choices and body. I never said I wanted to use those eggs right now and force him to be a father, so this has nothing to do with him ? He said that eventually he will leave me if I speak about it again or agree to the treatment.

I don't think it is wrong for me to do something with my body that has nothing to do with him, so do you thing I am? ######

Response: NTA - No woman is TA for wanting to freeze her eggs. Who knows what the future holds. You two may break up. He may die. You may marry and get divorced. He may change his mind. Who knows? All you are doing is giving yourself options. ######


Prompt: So it’s all pretty stupid but I thought I’d make a post since my family seems to wanna make it a big deal. Before the virus that shall not be named shut down everything I had two beautiful twin girls. The names I picked out I kept a secret until I announced their birth + gender. Both names are from characters I love and hold near and dear. The names are Azula (Avatar the last air bender) and Eclipsa (Star vs the forces of evil). I made a post about it and everything seemed fine until I got a message in the family group chat. My mother was livid that I’d name my girls after two villains whose names won’t “represent my daughters well” (I found out my brother told her who they were names after.) I told her that the names don’t define who they are. She didn’t respond but I come to find a long Facebook post about how I “doomed” my “sweet little angles” and how names have weight and will effect how they turn out. All the comments are relatives agreeing with her and how “people these days will name their kids anything”. I didn’t name my kids hotdog and cheese like I don’t get what’s so bad. Anyways I’ve just been getting a lot of “hate” if you will from my family. It’s making me genuinely wonder AITA for naming my kids after  two “villains” ######

Response: NTA - no one would object to naming a girl Delilah or Sapphira. The only difference between those villain names and yours is time. They’re not egregiously weird names as far as pop culture names go. Azula could pass off as being derived from Spanish “azul” ; I have never seen the other show and I would just assume Eclipsa is just a derivative of eclipse. ######


Prompt:
For context: I am a 16 year old female, and I have very religious parents.

Since I was around 9, I started to become very, very uncomfortable when anyone touched me. Sometimes I thought that person might have a lot of germs, while other times it was because I would just get this heavy feeling in my chest and my brain screaming at me that I was uncomfortable and wanted to get away. Now, I live in an area where many, many people like to hug, even if they don't know you. A lot of people will ask my parents: "Wow, is your child ok? She's so rude she pushed me away when I tried to hug her," and they'll just respond with an "I know, right?" Hugging is honestly worse for me, because it feels like I can't get out, and I suddenly get very very anxious, and start trying to force my way out.

 Well, this morning, I woke up feeling particularly tired, and walked into the kitchen to get some breakfast. I wasn't in the best state of mind, since I stayed up until around 6am and woke up at 10. Suddenly, I feel my dad touch me, and I start telling him as nicely as I could to get off me, but he wouldn't, resulting in me basically screaming at him to get off me.

 He and my mother suddenly got very, very angry and told me that I was being horribly rude for not accepting their affection. They even brought up this one time I made my Grandmother on my dad's side cry because I didn't want her to kiss me/hug me when we left her house. They proceeded to be mad at me for a while, even passing passive aggressive comments on facebook, that would say something along the lines of "Wow, just wanted a bit of affection, but you know our daughter lol."
I know that they grew up in houses that really liked physical affection, but I really, really don't like it. Sometimes, I'm feeling like I'm neglecting them, but at the same time, I just want my space. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - no one has the right to physically touch you without your permission.

Have you explained to your parents why you don't like it? ######


Prompt: My 28th birthday is on the 23rd. I’m a little old for presents so it doesn’t matter that much to me, but.. Both my dad AND my fiancé are complaining to me about how much my presents cost them.. I don’t know what they are or how much they cost, I haven’t received them yet, and I haven’t asked for anything. Would it be an asshole move to tell them to return whatever they got so they can save themselves the financial stress? And honestly also so they stop complaining about it to me, because I’d rather have no presents and no stress than be given stuff with more complaints attached.. ######

Response: NTA - next time one of them complains tell them you won't be offended if they return your presents for the money back because you know things are tough right now for everyone. Maybe that will make them realize that they are complaining so much they are sucking the joy right out of the gifts. ######


Prompt:
We've been going out just over 3 years and are 29 and 30.

He makes significantly more than me (3x my wages) And recently got a massive £700 bonus which is more than my regular wages are. (I'm looking for a new job before anyone says) I'm not interested in having any of his money, we split dates 50/50, but there have been things happen where he's displayed kind of odd behaviour which comes across as selfish and something happened last night.

We were hanging out at his, he has a lot of beer in the house (3 crates and lots of other special bottles)  I was going to go to the shop to get some and he said, "Nah it's raining, you can buy some off me." And I actually had to pay him £5 for 4 cans of Carling (cheap beer which would have been about £5 in the shop.)

The thing is, if it was the other way around I know I would've just given him beer and not thought about money at all. I would definitely not 'sell' him beer. Even if I was poor. When friends/family come to mine I just give them drinks if they want them. I buy my bf treats too, I bought him a video game this month and have one in mind to buy him when he's finished it. He's bought me stuff in the past but as I said that doesn't matter I don't care about getting stuff, I just thought the drink thing was super stingy. It's not the money it's the notion. For example if he had said nothing and I'd gone to the shop and paid that would have been fine.

AITA for being annoyed that he made me pay for them?

TL:DR: My bf who is on 3x my wages and recently got massive bonus made me give him £5 for a few beers and I know I wouldn't have 'charged' him if it was the other way around. ######

Response: NTA - next time he invites someone over remind him to ask his guests to foresee cash so they pay for their food and drinks and see how he reacts ######


Prompt:
I'm at the Outer Banks on vacation with my large extended family (mom's side, about 20 people) and I am using a prescription face medication that causes my face to be dry. If I go in the ocean, my face will get very painful and I will have a burning sensation for a few hours.

However, for the past few days, my family has been insisting that I go in the ocean and that I'm not enjoying the vacation. My mom is threatening to take away my computer if I don't.

So, I said that I saw a jellyfish, and they all cleared out. No one else was affected, they didn't tell anyone. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - My mom was always the same. She took it so personally if I wasn’t having fun to her standards on vacation and would get so mad and put out. She had to plan every second out and you had to be on the beach at a certain very early hour or you were wasting the day.

Have you explained to them about your medication? ######


Prompt:
This happened last summer but we still talk about it sometimes. My husband and I went away with his family to a cottage about an hour away, but I came back a day early for work.

They all decided to stay an extra day (so two days without me) which I was totally fine with. Apparently, my husband’s older cousin (mid 30s) would have to leave the day before anyways because he had already booked his flight and didn’t want to dip into his savings to change it.

My husband then went ahead and booked him a new flight on our points without asking me. His whole family told me how wonderful that was of him, but I flipped out because those were our points that we have in a joint account and we were planning to use them for an end of summer trip. He told me he did it because it’s family, but he’s honestly not close with the cousin (they have NEVER made an effort to see us, visit us, or invited us to visit) and regardless of who it was he should have checked with me. He also has a history of letting his family mooch off him so I think this made me extra angry. AITA for flipping out? ######

Response:
 NTA - my husband and I try to travel as much as we can and I would be extremely upset if he used up points, hotel nights, whatever on someone else ESPECIALLY without even consulting with me first.

By the cousin not wanting to dip into their savings, which is completely reasonable and can be understood, your husband has now put the financial burden on you guys because you will now have to pay for what you could have used your points for. ######


Prompt:
For context : My brother and sister in law have a one year old. I have a one and a half year old.  I am a stay at home mom. My husband is doing online nursing classes and the majority of his time is filled with studying. My sister in law is working from home since the lock down (she has a desk job that is primarily done on the computer) and my brother has been staying home for the most part to watch the baby. He still works, but his hours have been cut dramatically.

Today I get a text from my brother asking if I can watch my nephew for an hour at the most while my sister in law works at home. He has a mandatory work meeting he must attend. To me, an hour doesn’t seem like a significant amount of time to watch a toddler and do your work.  Lots of people do it on a daily basis. She mainly looks at spreadsheets all day. I used to work along side her so I know what her job entails more or less. Annoyed, I indicated I thought an hour was silly, but that I would watch my nephew if he dropped him off at my house. My brothers route to work requires him to pass right by house anyways. I do not receive a response.

Befor long, my mother calls to tell me my sister in law is throwing a fit and will not allow my brother to drop my nephew off at my house.  My brother was fine with it, but she is not. She wants me to come to their house. As a result, my brother misses his mandatory work meeting so that he can stay home and watch the baby while she works from home.

My mom said she feels bad for my brother and since he is family I probably should have just gone over there. My sister in law has always been a very selfish my-way-or-the-highway type of person and I feel I should not have to accommodate her every request. If she really needed me, I offered to watch him at my own house alongside my own child.

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - my boss & his SO is managing to do a similar type of job to your sister in law and have two kids (5 & 2) in the house.

They work around mandatory meetings and clock off to watch the kids when the other can’t. Your sister in law can save those sheets anytime to take an hour out, deadlines for most office work are flexible given the current climate anyway ######


Prompt:
Am I the asshole for refusing to take my husbands last name but keeping my ex husbands?

My husband and I have been together for five years, married for 2.5. When we got married I did not take his last name. I was up front with him and told him prior to us getting married that I would not be changing my last name. In my mind, I built an almost 20 year career, graduated with two degrees and raised my daughter with my last name. I was a single mother for eight years before I met him, and I have the same last name as my daughter.

To compromise, I changed my name on Facebook to his so most people think I did change it (even some family members). Professionally and financially I still go by my ex husbands last name. (We share a daughter who looks nothing like me, so part of the reason I kept his last name after our divorce is being of custodial reasons. The other part is because I was already ten plus years into my career with his last name. We married when I was 18.)

My husband is all sorts of pissy about it. But today he got even more mad because my mother called me by my maiden name. I corrected her and said “no, my name is x.” (My legal name, not his last name which I use on Facebook). He is so mad right now that he is refusing to speak to me.

Am I the asshole here? I was up front about my desire to not change my last name. It’s so frustrating to me because he says that I have an “awful mindset” about this. I feel like being this upset about it means he doesn’t care about my identity and sees me as a possession. I feel like a possession to him. We have joint accounts, have bought a home together, and have a son who has his last name (and coincidentally is the spitting image of me). ######

Response:
 NTA - my best friend did the same thing.  Was married for however many years and had a little boy and was divorced for like 8 years before getting remarried to a great guy.
Her sons last name is her last name and she built up her professional reputation with her last name (big deal with her career).
Professionally and legally her last name is still her ex husbands last name.  On FB and socials she changed it to the new one.
It makes perfect sense.   And her husband it totally fine with it. ######


Prompt: I 16(M) was playing video games with friends, one of the people who plays with us regularly is a my friends girlfriend 16(f). She does not like me and has made it clear in the past. I try to put it aside while we all hang out just so it stays civil. Well last night everybody was talking about relationship problems. The two people dating in the group gave advice. Mine was struggling to even find a person who I had a chance with. As soon as the words left my mouth, she snickered and brought up how I'm short and that's why. At first I thought she was joking and shrugged it off but after she kept drilling it in. Finally I had enough and brought up how she didn't have a boyfriend until a year ago because she refused to lose weight. After that everyone went quiet. Soon everyone started laying into me and she started crying. I tried to apologize because I didn't mean to hurt her that bad, but I got drowned out under every one yelling at me. I know I probably am the asshole but I just wanted to hear someone outside the situations opinion. ######

Response: NTA - Looks like some people who can give it, just can't take it. ######


Prompt:
Backstory: me and my bf have been together for just over two years and he recently got his own place. lived with me for 8/9 months till he got his place

So my bf recently got his first flat. while not the best out there it's not too bad for a first place to live ny yourself. i couldn't move in with him as it was off the local council as he grew up in care. now when he lived with me he was a bit messy but it was never too bad. normally only took a few minutes to sort ot out. since he moved in just before the lock down i have only just been able to see him for the first day in ages. i went round and his flat was disgusting. he had shit every where. the window was tightly closed with the curtains drawn.

His flat stank to high heaven. like I had to make sure to breathe threw my mouth for most of the time i was there. when i was leaving i told him im not coming round again till he had properly deep cleaned hia place. he started going on about how i knew he was a messy person and i knew what i was getting into. First of all there's being a messy person i will admit i am bit of a messy person i don't always put stuff away and can leave things lying out sometime and forget about it for a while. but there's being messy and being a a pig and living in a pig stye. i told him it was none negotiable and he started calling me an arse hole for the hole thing. i said im not being an arse hole for refusing to sit a dirty flat with the window and curtains shut stinking it up even mode. safe to say i left and refusing to go back

he decided to start messaging some friends as we share quite a few of the same friends telling tug me about what happened with some saying i was and others saying i was right and i should have to sit in those conditions

Guess i am asking AITA for refusing to see my bf till he sorts his flat out ######

Response: NTA - like you said there's a difference between being messy and living in awful conditions. There's no reason why you should have to endure the bad smell and dirty apartment just because he is too lazy to clean it. Personally I find the mental challenge of starting cleaning is bigger than the task itself. Also living in the smell may make him slightly immune to it so it might not be as noticeable. You could maybe offer to help start the cleaning with him (even though it's not your responsibility) so that the task is more manageable. But highlight that in future he should try getting into a routine of cleaning once a week. ######


Prompt:
I (F 15)come from a very conservative family who 100% believes you should be married before sex. I am a sucker for approval and I respect my parents so am still a virgin. My boyfriend (M 17)is not, and he has been pressuring me to sleep with him. I have repeatedly told him no, and one day he explodes saying that I should be fine with it because I was born out of wedlock and that if I’m going to lead him on he doesn’t want me. I started to try and defend my actions but I got choked up and couldn’t really manage to say anything. He then left in a rage while muttering about me being an ungrateful prude. I really love him but I don’t want to go against my beliefs to please him but I’m afraid he’s going to leave me. I know if I sleep with him my parents will never forgive me, but if I don’t he will leave. AITA for refusing to have sex with him?

Edit- age/gender clarity
Edit2-WOW this entire thread is really supportive and full of advice. I feel like I was almost hoping I would be told that I was TA because I wouldn’t have felt like he deserved to be broken up with. I really don’t want to leave him  and we have been together so long but the thread is kind of opening my eyes to other manipulative behavior of his. (constantly asking where I am, being jealous of my guy friends/ not letting me hang out with them, threatening to leave or and tell everyone I know including my family that I am a slut, etc.) I’m scared to break up with him because I do love him but I guess I’ll just wait until he leaves me to be safe? Thanks for the support! ######

Response:
 NTA - Let me first establish this.  **YOU ARE NEVER THE ASSHOLE FOR NOT HAVING SEX WHEN YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX!**  No one should force you to have sex.   Consent is everything!!

He does not love you if he is pressuring you to have sex with him.   He is calling you an ungrateful prude.  This is not something that a person who loves you would call you.   ALL the red flags.   He is telling you he is entitled to your body.   And that is HUGELY MAJORLY wrong.

Please leave him.  You will find someone who understands and loves you for how you feel.   He does not. ######


Prompt:
Before covid, still a problem.

My daughter (15F) barely misses school, she always goes. She's barely sick, she's very healthy, and she has excellent grades so I'm very lenient and free on whatever she does, and me and her go to the movies a lot when the report cards come out as celebration.

Anyway my husband works and he comes home at night sometines, sometimes early.

When I woke up my daughter that day , she said that she had this big headache and couldn't go. She's never made an excuse like that, and sometimes she has a runny nose or a small headache she still goes so I assumed this was bigger and let her stay home.

We had fun that day, watched movies etc.and after 3 hours she become better. My husband came early and freaked out and asked me why she was here that early, and said that just because she had a headache doesn't mean she can miss out on education and that she probably exaggerated the headache yada, yada.

Then he said that she doesn't get a free pass and we got into a small fight which was later resolved.

Aita? ######

Response: NTA - kids get mental health days too, it's not like she's taking advantage and always asking to skip school ######


Prompt: Me (M19) and my brother (M17) usually both split a mother's day card and gift. This year however he when to a friend's house yesterday (Fri) and will not be back until Mon. I spent 3 hours on Friday trying to find my mother a great gift going from store to store and got a card. I signed the card and sealed the envelope. Today he sent me a message through our group chat with friends and told me to just put his name on the card. I said no and told him he chose to go to his friends house and forgot a gift and didn't contribute anything to the gift. My friend say I'm TA. But my gf says I'm not. So Reddit should I break the seal and signature his name? ######

Response: NTA - just because you guys have always done this this way doesn't mean you have to do it that way forever, especially if he took for granted that you'd pick up the slack if he went off with his friends. ######


Prompt: First time post so be nice please! And obligatory on mobile. So my(16f) mother(44f) has never been ideal with finances or keeping living spaces. This has happened throughout all my childhood but the financial aspect was worsened when she married her husband 5 years ago(29m). He's a generally unsocialable unpleasant man and has issues keeping jobs. He got into drywall about 4 years ago and has maintained that line of work but is constantly burning bridges and his work isn't very consistent. My mother either works with him or watches my 3 year old brother because his former babysitter has fallen ill recently. Recently he hasn't been getting much work and only went back to work last week. Basically they drain money. Their money goes to paying his brother for working for them, gas, groceries, and God knows what else it just doesn't stay in their account.  We were formerly living in a hotel which was expensive so I was more lenient but we are now living rent free at my grandparents house. I've been working about a year, and make between 400-500 a paycheck though I was laid off once lockdown hit but went back in May. Last month my mother and her husband borrowed 400(from my savings) to renew the title and registration to their car. Since then they've continued to borrow bits of money probably its up to about 500 now. The thing that has made me irritated and question  is they were supposed to get some money today because her husband sold some stock but still had me buy meat for dinner instead of him. I'm now considering telling her I won't lend her anymore money unless it concerns my brother or gas. It may be important to note she owes my older brother(25m) 2 grand. I don't want to be ungrateful or put them in a bad spot but I want to go to college in a year and they can't afford to pay for it. I honestly need the money for my future. Sorry everyone there's probably more detail than necessary I just want to be thorough! So WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA - just because they are family doesn't mean that you need to let them use you as a bank. That's not a healthy dynamic. You have goals that you are saving for and you need to keep working towards that. If you let this continue then you will grow to resent them. Its hard to cut off family but you need to do it financially for yourself. If they have access to your bank account then you should open a new bank account and put all of your money into there so they don't have a way to access your money. Emphasis on YOUR money ######


Prompt:
So the background to this is that I'm pretty sure I have IBS-mixed type, basically I swing from constipated to diarrhea frequently. Nothing is normal, everything hurts and sometimes the urge to go comes on suddenly and painfully. I am in the middle of getting tests started but it's slow going due to covid.

My husband's generally supportive as long as it doesn't inconvenience him personally. The other day, however, was a real surprise. We were on our way to visit at a park with guests, which we can do where we are. Before we entered the park, I received the signal to go, abruptly and painfully, and asked if we could detour slightly to a gas station.

He flipped his lid, yelled that I needed to get my s*** together, pun intended, and then ignored me until we were face to face with our friends. Then he proceeded to give me crap for being on the phone and dangled chocolate at me before snatching it back and saying "you're not hungry, are you?"

I ended up excusing myself, leaving the park on foot and walking about 0.8 km to the bathroom and back. When I got back, our guests were in the middle of leaving. I apologized for leaving and was assured it was totally understandable. After they left, we had a fight. He says I'm TA for being a problem all the time and that I was rude to leave, and I say he's TA for not stopping when it was urgent and that nobody should have to apologize for having to emergency poop. This is the first time he's really been an ass about this in 4 years, but it really stuck with me.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA - jesus christ, you  needed the bathroom. It was a small detour. It's really not cool that he was happy to let you sit in pain (and probably with an embarrassed unease around your friends) just so he could get to the park 10 minutes faster.

Your husband was being an ass, and FTR if he's "generally supportive as long as it doesn't inconvenience him personally", that's not being supportive. ######


Prompt:
Back story: my cousin is 13 and has some learning delays. She cant. Be left alone due to her have a very childlike mindset and get into things.

I was told by my grand parents (who I live with when not at school) that my cousin would be coming to live with us over the summer. Now I normally have no problem with her visiting. However, I have 3 jobs lined up and plan in working basically 24/7 to save up for bills, my rent for my apartment next year, insurance and for school. With my cousin being there id be relied on to babysit. And in my family you dont get paid to babysit family. It would be extremely hard to work, sleep and babysit all at the same time. Also i will be giving up 90% of my room. I have a very small room as is. My twin bed takes up over 50% of it. I love my cousin and i know her mom is kind of a jerk and doesn't take the best care of her but idk what else to do. Ive talked to my grandparents about it and even they seem hesitant. However, they keep saying ill have to figure it out and help because they cant do everything. I feel like im putting my financial stability at risk just so my aunt can get a break from her kid. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - Its not your responsibility. Your grandparents and aunt are tho for expecting you to babysit your cousin ######


Prompt:
I’ve got a gaming PC that I’ve built and upgraded over the years, currently (i7 7700k, 1080ti, 16 gigs of ram)

Ever since I graduated I’ve been traveling a lot for work so it doesn’t see as much action as it used to

A cousin of mine ( met them maybe once or twice so far) needs a computer for school and it was suggested he take mine since it’s rarely being used, I flat out refused because

1. I do use it game when I have the time and I’m back home
2. I’m a bit possessive about it.
3. I know that they can’t pay me back if they damage it

I’ve been called selfish and inconsiderate so let’s hear it AITA ######

Response:
 NTA - It’s yours. You don’t have to give up anything especially now a Pc you built yourself. Why don’t you find a cheap one on marketplace and send them the link.

Say sorry I have a lot of personal photos and details saved on that computer I don’t want to lose but here is a cheap option. That they won’t be able to waste their time and play games on lol ######


Prompt:
Ok so I am neither the parent nor the son in this story. This happened between my father and my brother and it’s kind of split the family. It happened a few months ago but still gets brought up so I was hoping to get Reddit’s take on the situation. For the sake of making it easier to read I’ll be writing from my dad’s perspective.
***

So I (57M) recently discovered my younger son (24M) has been hiding a snake in his bedroom. My two sons (24M and 27M) both live with my wife and I rent-free in our home. All I ask from them is that they help with household chores and respect me and their mom.
My younger son has wanted a snake ever since he was 6. In that time my sons have had a myriad of pets. Over the 20-some years we have been in this house we’ve had dogs, cats, a turtle, countless fish, and frogs.
The only animal I’ve ever said no to is a snake. I don’t like them. I don’t like how big they get and how potentially dangerous they could be to our other pets if my son isn’t careful — and he has a history of not being careful. My father in law at one point considered letting my son get a snake to keep at their house. Fine, so long as it isn’t in my house.

One day while putting mail in my son’s bedroom I noticed that there was a weird glow coming from the corner. I went to look at it and found that he had an aquarium set up with a ball python.
I had words with my son and within a few hours he had sold it to someone who apparently has a lot of snakes that she raises.

My son was very upset to give up his snake. His girlfriend still won’t talk to me and I think even my wife has doubts about whether we did the right thing. I stand firm that I did what was right. I told him no snakes and he went and got a snake and then tried to hide it from me.
So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - It’s your house, and in the end you get a say in what pets are allowed. Your son is the AH for trying to hide it from you. If he wants a snake that badly he can move out and get his own place.

That being said, I am curious exactly how you reacted and what “words” you had with him? At any point did you threaten him or the snake? How long did you give him to move the snake and what would the consequences be if he had not? ######


Prompt:
Day before yesterday i was talking to my grandmother on facetime when we were talking about my cousin (F 26) having a kid. All of a sudden she starts talking about me having kids. For the context i got married at 16 (this is pretty common practice in Arabia and I live in London with my husband).  She tells me that i should start my own family and i politely told her no because me nor my husband want kids right now, we're both studying and i feel like I'm too young. But she wont stop talking about even after me trying to change the topic multiple times.  She repeated herself like a MILLION times and it made me very uncomfortable. The weirdest thing was that she wants me to carry the baby, give birth and then send my child back to my home country and she will raise it. I told her no and reminded her that her other granddaughter (my cousin) is having a kid and she should pay attention to her kid and look after them. She always complains that she has gotten very lazy while being pregnant and is making her mother help her. I don't see any issue in that as its their own matter. But after this happened  I could not stop thinking about it and haven't told anyone else yet.

So reddit am i the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA - it’s so weird when anyone wants to tell you what to do with your body, especially something as huge as growing a human in it ######


Prompt: Okay hear me out please, my birthday is in 10 days and this has been stressing me out. His sister has autism and she gets really loud breakdowns which results in everyone feeling bad for her. My boyfriend said “oh it will be so fun, Carrie will be there and she will love Strawberry cake”. I didn’t invite her? What?? We went over who is coming? I told him that I don’t feel comfortable with her because, to put it to truth, SHE RUINS THE VIBE. It’s not the fact she has autism, it’s the fact she can not control herself in this sort of environment. Best tjing I can do is send her the cake slice. My boyfriend is making me feel like I’m bigoted and judgemental when in reality, it is a lose lose. He’s now telling my mom that I don’t wanna invite his sister because she’s autistic and my mom had to give me a speech about different kinds of people. Am I bad for not wanting to invite her? ######

Response: NTA - it’s okay for you to not cater to her, that isn’t your responsibility. You’re also being considerate on her part, because you’re right that she may be overloaded! It’s your day and you’re doing what’s best for both of you ######


Prompt:
This happened a while back but I have recently been thinking about it. We came in to school late as I was just walking around avoiding first period and he was off buying weed so we met up at the shopping centre next to our school. We walk in and I can immediately smell the most potent weed smell I tell him and he says “it’s fine no one will notice”. A few minutes later and were talking to a teacher who instantly recognised the smell, she was a nice teacher so he didn’t get in trouble she just warned him that she could smell it so other teachers would be able to. He starts panicking and asks to wrap it up in my PE kit and I’ll give him it last period. I say no because I didn’t want my PE kit to stink of weed as I had PE last period which means the smell would have had all day to stick to it and I planned on wearing my PE kit home and didn’t want to smell of weed when speaking to my parents.

AITA ######

Response: NTA - it’s not your problem at all ######


Prompt:
So my sister was due to get married before the coronavirus struck and closed everything down so her Hen do was planned before hand but I couldn’t go/afford to go due to uni commitments and lack of funds, which she was fine with and understood. Obviously it was cancelled and they’ve ended up rescheduling the wedding in a few months time (current time being 22/07/2020). This means that they’ve had to reschedule the hen do too. This is where an issue comes in. I was removed from the group chat when I said I couldn’t go and haven’t been told anything until a few days ago. They’ve planned the new hen do for the weekend before my birthday and are wanting to know if I can go. However, in this time my partner has been planning a surprise for my birthday for about a month now which so happens to be that weekend, it’s not like it is just another day it’s an important birthday (21st). I don’t tend to celebrate my birthdays because the effort has never been put in for them by anyone but my partner this year is determined to make it special for me. I’ve told my sister this and she’s started being rude and ignoring me being really snappy and just it’s super awkward to be around her now. I asked my friends if I’m being shitty here and they’ve all replied that I am and I can rearrange my plans for another time but that’s the only time I can as the week after I have to move back to uni. If I could rearrange I would, but whatever my surprise is it’s not refundable (I asked just in case). I just don’t understand why she was understanding then but not now?

So really Am I the Asshole for not going to my sisters hen do because I have birthday plans? ######

Response:
 NTA - it’s not refundable and you can’t reschedule. It’s possible that the hen do will have to be rescheduled anyway.  I don’t know why an event which shall not be named makes everyone assume other people should be available 24/7 but the fact is, you have plans that you can’t change. If you feel badly about missing the event maybe you could plan something for just you and your sister to celebrate.

Edited to remove rule breaking portion ######


Prompt:
I know how the title sounds!

I’ve been with my husband since I was 17 and he was 20, his sister is 4 years younger than him.

3 years into our relationship we got married, I’m 28 now.

I gave birth 8 months ago and I’m currently 6months pregnant with our second.

Two years  ago my husbands sister lost her flat, she had a 2 year old so I of course agreed to let her stay with us- rent for her is £200 a month (which barely covers her food) and we specified she would have to tidy up after herself and her child because my husband and I both work full time.

I’ve been off for a while now, I’m still working from home though but no longer go into the office and while his sister has never been the tidiest (she did the bare minimum) she now does absolutely nothing apart from making a mess.

My husband helps out sometimes but, bless his heart, he can burn water and he has no back bone meaning despite only having one child at the moment I’m tidying up after two, three if you count his sister.

My husband wants to give his sister a break since she’s not been late on rent and helps us out sometimes so we can have a day for ourselves (we pay her £11 an hour for that)

Since getting pregnant with our second all she’s done is talk down to me, we’ve had some *heated* arguments, my husband tends to stay neutral.

I’m sick of her, I’ve mentioned it to the both of them - if she isn’t out by January I’m leaving, if she continues giving me attitude she can leave by October.

My husband is now upset for “alienating” his sister who’s trying to get her life back on track (saving for a house, considering going  university and working)

At this stage I don’t care if she starts tidying up after herself, I’m done but now I’m wondering if I’m being harsh and overreacting.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - It’s been 2 years. In my opinion it kind of sounds like she’s taking advantage because she’s had it easy so long and has the attitude that her brother “wouldn’t let his baby sister live on the street”.
She has a child she needs to provide for and set a good example for. Bad timing with Covid and all that but she’s had two years to sort her life out. ######


Prompt:
So my close friend (Q) & her bf (W) are getting engaged this weekend. They’ve been dating for 4 years but when they announced their intention to marry, Q’s family was completely against it & said some vile things to W, who is a lovely, wonderful guy. It hurt them both deeply, but they’ve decided to proceed anyways.

In the process of planning (& hiding) the engagement, but I’ve told off 2 people (both girls):

1. A, Q’s other friend who is working with me for deco. She said we should get guests to print their pictures with Q, write cute notes & scatter it around the tables. I thought it was a nice idea until I clarified with her if she meant the guests & THE COUPLE. She said either way was fine, but it was better if it’s just the guests & Q. I told her it wasn’t Q’s birthday, and unless Q’s marrying herself, shouldn’t we be celebrating the couple? She FINALLY got it after multiple times of me repeating it & agreed that we should plan it to surprise the couple.

2. B, another friend who blurted out the idea mentioned above in the group chat with W. When I told her it was meant to be a surprise for both Q & W, B said ‘oh it’s okay, engagements are for the girl anyway’. I was LIVID. B knew how Q’s family treated W & how W has been affected. & she’s just disregarding him? I told B the same thing I told A, & it took a while before she got it.

So yes, my bf said I was harsh but I wanted to know what you guys think. Should I have let them completely ignore W on his engagement day? ######

Response: NTA - it’s an engagement between 2 people. Not just one person and it’s especially important to emphasize her fiancé’s role because of how Q’s family has treated him ######


Prompt: Basically I've had suspicions for a while she has been secretly using my perfume. For Christmas my fiancé bought me an £80 bottle of perfume and my dad bought me a £110 designer bottle of perfume (my mum and dad are divorced). When I got these my mum swore that she would not use them because of how expensive they were and that they were mine. She has about 20 bottles of perfume herself but they're all in the cheaper range (£5-£40). Anyway I kept noticing that my perfume boxes have been moving or the perfume inside has changed position. I asked if shes used it and she says no. I decided to hide the perfume and leave the boxes there, if shes not been using them then she won't know they're gone. Since then my mum has been in an absolute pissy with me but won't tell me what's up. I checked the boxes and once again they have moved so I can guess she knows I've hid them. My problem is the fact that she does not spray just a small amount she must use at least 10-15 sprays to just sit downstairs in. If shes going out its 20+. So far since Christmas she has used up 8 full bottles of perfume! She doesn't even ask me if she can use them too she just runs out of the house quickly before I can smell her. I have lots of cheaper and normal priced perfumes which she has bought me in the past but she never uses them, it's always my most expensive ones that she hasn't bought. ######

Response: NTA - It's yours to do what you want to do with it. If she wants the expensive perfume then she can buy it herself. She's been sneaking around because she knows what she's doing. There's nothing wrong with wanting your things to be YOUR things. ######


Prompt:
I (37F) was recently (as in about a month ago) diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have since told my husband, and my close friends, but my in-laws, including my BIL and SIL, don't know. This is mostly due to COVID-19 related SIP, (I wanted to tell them in person) but also I haven't had the words to tell them via phone call or text.

As much as I love my in laws, they are...Really judgmental about mental health. Even though they are aware of my trauma filled childhood, which is what caused the DID, my MIL thinks that a "life coach and weight loss" (her words) will fix the entire situation. I want to be honest, but I also dread feeling like I am overreacting, like this is no big deal. The fear of their judgement is overpowering and triggering.

I write a blog  about auditioning and performing, and I recently wrote a post that talked about said diagnosis, and how it has been affecting my practice schedule/ emotions about performing...I was about to publish it, but then realized if my in-laws read it, they will now know about my diagnosis, and may feel  upset that I did not tell them in person. I know they don't always read my blog, but you never know...A part of me just wants to do it, and get it over with, but I also don't want to hurt their feelings/ incur their wrath and judgement.

WIBTA if I just posted the entry and wait for them to approach me? ######

Response:
 NTA - it's your personal information, you should share it, or not share it, in the way that is most comfortable for you.

If you're really worried about it, maybe you can ask your husband to say something to them.  That way they're getting the personal touch, but you don't have to be there to hear any judgment from them. ######


Prompt:
I (18F) got into an accident and totaled my car. Keep in mind that I bought myself that car and paid for my own insurance. The accident was my fault but not entirely. I ran a stop sign that was covered by trees and hit a parked car to avoid hitting a moving one. The house owner at the corner said that I’m the fourth person to get into an accident because of the same stop sign in under 3 months. Thankfully, no one was hurt.

My insurance decided to buy off my totaled car for $2000. I gave the money to my parents to put away to get myself a new car. On top of that, I also gave them $3000 from my savings for my car (I give them my money to put away because I don’t trust myself to not spend it). My parents were livid that I got into an accident. Although nothing came out of their pockets other than my insurance rising that I pay for, they decided to punish me and use the money that my insurance gave me AND my savings to buy my brother (23M) an new car.

I told them that it was my money and that they had no right to do that. All they said was that if I hadn’t gotten into an accident, the car they bought for my brother would’ve been mine. Now my insurance is a lot more expensive than what it was before and they said that with a new car, it’s going to be more expensive. I said that it was my car that I bought and I was paying for insurance and that there was no need to punish me for something that didn’t affect them financially. They don’t care and gave the car to my brother anyway, saying this is what I get for not being careful when driving a car, I don’t get one at all.

AITA for getting upset? ######

Response: NTA - It's YOUR money. You are an ADULT. They don't get to spend your money on your adult brother to "discipline" you. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I had a private gym in our house with a bunch of different type of gym equipment.

Back in November a gym opened up a block from our house, so we each got gym memberships and decided to get rid of our personal gym equipment so we could use the room for something else.

I tried selling it all, but couldn’t get anyone to buy the elliptical, the bowflex, weight set, and our various smaller gym equipment. I offered them to friends and family for free and my sister said she would be interested.

But she didn’t have space for them at the time and said she and her husband would make room for them and pick them up. I called her three times in December about them after that she always said she still hasn’t gotten around to making room for them. After that I stopped calling her about them because it didn’t seem like she really wanted them and they had just been sitting forgotten in a corner of the garage since.

Until a month ago when our gym closed. My wife and I decided to pull them out of the garage to use them again. They’ve really helped us from getting stir crazy.

My sister called on Tuesday to ask if her husband and son could come pick them up that day.

I told her how my wife and I are actually using them now that our gym is closed so we wouldn’t be giving them away anymore.

She asks if I’m kidding because they just spent all yesterday clearing out space for them.

When I say I’m not. My sister sort of raises her voice and says how I said she could have that equipment and that it was hers. How her gym is closed and they all don’t have anyway to exercise. Then she brings up how my nephew needs it because he needs to stay in shape for school (he’s on an athletic scholarship).

I get a call from dad later saying and he agrees with my sister and says considering my nephew they really need the equipment more than we do. ######

Response:
 NTA - It's your equipment, and the circumstances for which you agreed to give her the equipment have drastically altered. The same way you waited till this global pandemic to use it again, they waited till now to actually clear the space, expecting you to hold them forever until they decide they're ready, and even avoiding your attempts to actually give her the equipment. She wants it now for the same reason you want to keep it. You stopped needing it in November and it's now April. At the end of the day, it's your equipment and if you now need it, then you can't be expected to give it away. If your nephew needs equipment so badly, he can come use it at your place.

Also, she shouldn't have decided way after the fact that this agreement would still be in play and prep in advance without even discussing with you first. Given the epidemic, I think most people would assume you would've started using them again. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway my wife is on reddit

My daughter(24F) is a lesbian I found out by accident when she was 15 and I saw her in her room kissing a female friend she didn't realize that I saw them so I just moved away slowly and quietly. I told her the next day what I saw and she came out to me, I told her it was okay and that this wouldn't change anything in our relationship, I suggested she tell her mom/my wife, she said she would tell her one day when she is ready but I should keep it a secret

I asked her why she didn't want to tell her she said, her mom has a big mouth and she didn't want other people to know especially her grandparents(my wife's parents are homophobic) so I just let it be and kept the secret as it wasn't my secret to tell.

Well my wife recently found out when my daughter brought her long term girlfriend home who is now her fiancee to introduce her to my wife (I've known about this girl since they started dating, even met her parents), my wife got angry and asked our daughter why she kept this secret from her parents? My daughter  responded by saying I knew and I was the one supporting.

My wife then asked me how long I've known about this and I told her truth about everything. Well I'm now being called a liar ( which is true and I understand that I lied all this time but it wasn't my secret to tell), she has accused me of living a double life and sneaking out at night to have dinner with my daughter's secret lovers( also true but my daughter asked me to meet her GF and the asked me to meet her parents, I even play golf with my daughter's fiancee's father)

Then my wife did what my daughter feared about telling her the truth, she called the whole family and some of her friends, now me and my daughter are being called assholes for keeping such a big secret, I'm being called a horrible lying husband.

I just need the opinions of internet strangers on if I'm the asshole or not. ######

Response: NTA - it's your daughter's decision when she tells people. The golden rule is to NEVER out anyone. You did the right thing, your wife is probably just annoyed she wasn't trusted. ######