Prompt:
My brother and sister-in-law are both in the medical field. The coronavirus has them thinking about the possibility they leave their two underaged boys orphaned if the unthinkable were to happen. My brother’s wife asked if I would take care and custody of the boys if they both were to pass away for whatever reason. I initially told her I would do whatever they needed me to do, but that my sister who is already raising a family is probably better suited. I’m single with no kids, never married.

Here's the thing: I don’t like my brother. He was a terrible bully growing up who took every opportunity to tease, torment, and belittle me if he wasn’t simply neglecting my existence. He was selfish to the extreme and my parents, who were too busy trying to put food on the table, tolerated it and thus indulged it. We’ve never had a friendly relationship and an episode of utter callousness on his part in our 20’s was the last straw for me; I didn’t speak to him for the next 15 years. His treatment of me has affected me in numerous ways to this day (I’m in my 40’s): my self-confidence, my relationship with my parents, my general misanthropy . . . repeatedly being called stupid and ugly growing up has a way of staying with a person.

My brother’s family and I are more cordial now, but only for my elderly parents’ sake. We interact during the holidays when I put on a good face. Otherwise, I have no interest in having anything to do with my brother or his family. I know that once my parents pass away (I hate even thinking about it), I’ll never interact with my brother again. I simply don't see myself being a part of their lives.  I’m thinking I should let my sister-in-law know this so she can make alternative plans for her kids and not rely on me. AITA for not wanting to take care of her children? WIBTA if I were to tell her this? ######

Response: NTA. Don’t agree to take the kids ######


Prompt:
Long story short, this man borrowed quite a lot of money, and disappeared. So I called his parents and they paid me by their own money (I SWEAR they said he gave them that) and now he’s asking me my bank account for paying it.
I seriously don’t know what to tell him now ######

Response: NTA. Don't tell him anything. In fact, it's your turn to disappear. ######


Prompt:
Last fall I bought a horse from my uncle for $200. I also purchased hay my uncle was selling for $50 per large round bale (I bought 7 for the horse).
This July I decided to sell the horse because they had lied about it's training and I could not even put a saddle on w/o it flipping out.
The bill of sale states that the previous owner has first refusal. I am asking $500 for the horse as I put lots of $$ into it weight booster (as it was very thin & malnourished when I bought it),
hoof trimming, wintering over etc.
The problem?
My uncle wants to buy the horse and is convinced I'm the ass hole because I want to get $500 and won't let him buy back at my purchase price of $200. His reason?
He "cut me a deal on hay". He priced the horse that low, he priced the hay that low, he malnourished the horse.
 If I sell back to him at $200 he would have made money off me by getting free hay, boarding, healthcare.
This is causing a family rift
and I just need to know, AITA in this situation?? ######

Response: NTA. Don't sell back a horse to somebody who allows them to be malnourished. ######


Prompt: I'm 20 years old and am looking to move out of my parents house. While looking for a house/apartment, my mother has made it clear that she wants me to put the tracking app Life360 on my phone and join the circle with her, my dad, and my younger brother. I used to have this app, but deleted it once I graduated high school, much to her dismay. She is an obsessive worrier, which she is keen to remind everyone of whenever situations like these come up. I am of the opinion that, as a adult, I don't want to have a tracking app on my phone so my mother can watch over me. Not that I sneak around, or that she would really stop me from going anywhere, I just don't like the idea. Everytime I say that she goes on a tangent about how she raised me, put a roof over my head for two decades, etc etc. The usual parent guilt trip, which makes me even more resistant to the idea. Is this a hill I should be willing to die on? Or am I just overreacting to a reasonable request in this new age of technology? ######

Response:
 NTA. Don't install the app, move out, continue not having the app. Done.

She'll complain but at the end of the day she can't make you do anything. She'll get over it eventually, or she won't but you won't be living with her so it's not a problem. ######


Prompt:
 So long story short I (18f) dated D (20m) for about three years. In early March I found out I am pregnant. Naturally he was the the first one I told and his response was "come find me again after you get rid of it." This naturally led to a but of an argument until he backhanded me.
 After that I walked away and havent spoken to him since.  I have however kept somewhat in touch with T (16f) his sister. Time passed and the protests started. About 2wks ago I got a call from T begging me to bail D out of jail because her parents couldnt afford to. Now I don't know how much it was but I probably could have asked my dad at the time and he would have helped if possible. I didnt and still don't see the need to do that. He has not contacted me one time about this baby. I havent blocked him and if he decides to I will let him into this baby's life.
His parents managed to bail him out but now T is calling me a bitch and saying that I shouldnt have made their parents sacrifice a mortgage payment to get him out of jail because he is the father of my unborn child.
So am I wrong in refusing to bail him out? ######

Response: NTA. Don't help your abuser. You need to talk to a lawyer ASAP though to get going about custody arrangements and restraining orders. ######


Prompt:
I made some BOMB ass Mole Verde for my mom on Mother's Day (Family Recipe) and I had enough left over to bring to work with me. I decided to ask some of my coworkers if they wanted to try it. They LOVED IT! Yay!

One of my coworkers is notorious for calling herself the "Whitest Mexican Girl" because she makes "traditional Mexican food from scratch" (It's not traditional or Mexican) and asked if she could have the recipe. I told her I'd have to ask my grandma for permission to share but probably not.

I get a text from her later that night saying she had an allergic reaction to my Mole and she needs to know exactly what was in it so she can figure out what she's allergic to.... She also asked for me to bring more so she could try it again to confirm that it was in fact my food that gave her the allergic reaction...WTF?!

We do potlucks all the time so we're all aware of allergies and she's NEVER mentioned being allergic to ANYTHING in the 3 years I've been working with her. I'm convinced this is just a charade to get my gmas recipe and I had to beg my gma to teach ME! ######

Response:
 NTA. Don't do it.

Just send her a mesage stating that the only ingredient present in your recipe that isn't in every published recipe is [*insert unexpected asian spice not normally found in mexican cuisine - perhaps Star Anise?*]

She'll go nuts making terrible recipes including the out of place ingredient and failing ######


Prompt:
(I'm not a story teller like some here, so sorry if this is disorganized or boring.)

&#x200B;

Hello Reddit. Tomorrow is my (f/28) birthday. I wasn't planning on doing anything this year because it's my first sober birthday (I quit drinking 9 months ago) and I try to avoid parties since everyone usually drinks at them.

Last week I was asked by friend A (f/31) if I'd like to go for a small dinner and I said yes. A asked where I wanted to go and I suggested somewhere that serves hot pot. I have never tried it and figured my birthday dinner would be a good time.

A came back to me the next day and said we can't do hot pot because friend B (f/30) doesn't like Korean food.

"Uhmm, okay how about sushi?"

Well you guessed it, now friend C (f/34) doesn't like sushi.

This has evolved in to me trying to find a place everyone will enjoy and wanting to cancel the whole thing because all it has done is stressed me out and made me feel bad for not knowing who doesn't like what. I told A this, and she said it would be an asshole move because everyone is getting together for me.

Today B pushed for us to go to a pub, and everyone immediately was in agreeance.

I snapped a bit. I told the group that I refuse to let my birthday be an excuse for them to get drunk at a bar. If this dinner really was *for me* they'd have been fine with my original suggestion and if they can't support my sobriety then they aren't friends at all.

I am currently getting text messages saying I flew off the handle, that I need to grow up and not be such an asshole when they were just trying to do a nice thing for me. C even said that they shouldn't be punished because I can't handle my liquor.

So yeah, dinner is cancelled and so are those friendships. Now that I've cooled down a bit though, I am wondering if I was being an asshole...

&#x200B;

Edit: Post has been live less than 10 minutes and you guys have already shown me I made the right call. Thank you so much. ######

Response:
 NTA. Doing a nice thing for your birthday would be, for example, accepting that while Korean food isn't your favorite, it's something that the birthday celebrant would really enjoy, and finding something on the menu that you can live with. Repeatedly foisting all of the planning onto you while sticking fast to their own preferences and refusing to accept that sobriety is important to you is just jerky behavior. Sorry they are being like that.

And, hey, great job on your huge 9 months achievement. Be proud of yourself, and listen to the little voice that is telling you that people who regard not being able to drink for a couple of hours as being "punished" and try to make your sobriety into a failing on your part aren't going to be a supportive set of friends for your goals. It sucks, but sometimes friendships built around a shared activity don't end up going much deeper than that activity. :/ ######


Prompt:
Earlier today, me and my mom had an argument about me not liking dogs, I told her my reasons but as it seemed, she refused to accept it. I went back to my room and thought that it is all over. Few hours later, she called me to help her with the laundry, I wasn't thinking much about it and went to help her, however, she started telling me that persons who don't like dogs are in fact horrible people and have problems with their inner selves, I asked why she thinks so and she just said ,,I have 45 years of an experience and that's more than you have" and now, she don't want to talk to me until I change my view on dogs..

Am I the asshole?

(Sorry for my English, not a native English speaker) ######

Response: NTA. Dogs are fine, I can take them or leave them, but dog *people* are the absolute worst. Unless you said that you’d kick a dog who wasn’t bothering you or something, there’s no reason to get worked up about your pet preferences. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday, my sister, husband, 2 boys, and cute dog come over for a big family breakfast. My husband and I were playing with the dog and she was a cutie. I’m not sure how it happened, but my sister maybe thought we were annoyed (or something?) and said they’d just put the dog in the car with the windows cracked. But me and my husband, almost simultaneously, said “that’s animal abuse”! We are currently in Houston, yesterday mornin was mid 80’s. My husband did the math off the web, and it said (as we knew), that it would be 100 to 100+ degrees in TEN MINUTES. We told her, we like the dog, there no need to do that. She hissed back at my husband to SHUT HIS MOUTH (in her best teacher voice), and just began a yelling tirade. We finally just sat there, silent, drinking our coffee.
She ended up leaving with my bro in law for the duration of breakfast (the boys stayed- we were having waffles!), then reappeared to whisk them away after they ate.
AITA for asking my sister to NOT put her dog in the car, and call it abuse? It could’ve been deadly. (She’s a small breed, not sure what). ######

Response: NTA. Dogs and small children can die within a matter of minutes. I’m not sure about the laws in Texas, but in some jurisdictions animal abusers like your sister can get some hefty jail time. ######


Prompt:
My (16f) brother (20) decided, totally randomly with no cause (I checked), decided to sleep in the living room on the sofa. He sleeps until the early afternoon (1-4 in the afternoon), then he's awake for about 12 hours during which he watches TV and plays on his playstation, then in the early hours of the morning (12-5 in the morning) he goes back to bed, staying in the living room the whole time. I've objected to this but when I did mum said to leave him alone and basically let him do what he wants because his first girlfriend ever, who he was with for over 3 years, just broke up with him and he's going through a rough time, but she dumped him 6 weeks ago and he's been in the living room since then and I've only been able to go in when we eat dinner (the table is in the living room).

It's currently 12:50 in the afternoon. I wanted to watch TV. I went into the room, turned on TV, and started watching. I usually keep the TV volume on single digits but for some reason my brother left it on 40-something so it immediately blared. I turned it down ASAP but it woke him. He yelled at me for waking him and mum came down and said she'd told me to leave him alone and stay out of the room when he's asleep.

My brother wants me to apologise for waking him because I know how erratic his sleep schedule is and that he was asleep when I came in. I told him that's bullshit and he can't just claim an entire common room and if anyone deserves an apology it's me because this is the only room I can use during the day. Mum said he's going through a tough time and it's on us to help him, which means letting things slide and apologising even if we're in the right. I've said I'm not saying shit and now mum is saying I'm making things difficult for everyone.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Doesn't your brother have a room? ######


Prompt:
It's recently come to light that my parents have used my SSN to run up a little over $15,000 of debt that's now in collections. My credit is ruined and my plans of saving for post-grad school have just flown out the window. The only way to have it removed would be to file a police report against my parents to have the debt declared fraudulent. I'm pretty sure this is a felony, but I haven't spoken to any lawyers or anything.

Before you say obviously NTA, I'm hesitating because my parents take care of my elderly grandmother. Since her husband died, she is alone basically all the time except for when my parents are around as my family is very small. My mother is also a nurse and helps my grandmother out with any medical care she needs (she's not sickly enough to need full time care, just when things come up).

I live out of state and can't afford to help my grandmother if my parents were to go to jail/(prison?). WI BTA if I followed through with the police on this? ######

Response: NTA. Doesn't matter the reason - if they did this WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE OR APPROVAL, report them. What they did could have serious future repercussions on your credit. ######


Prompt:
Ive been rooming with my sister for 2 years now, and I’ve been having an issue since she moved in. She has a friend who smells AWFUL. Like hasn't bathed in weeks, ran through an onion field awful... who she has spend the night regularly. I cannot stress how bad this guy smells. He walks in to my house and his BO literally smacks you in the face. I cant even walk by my sisters bedroom door without gagging.

Anyways. Every time he comes over, she allows him to sleep on my living room couch, and i swear I can smell him on it weeks after he’s left. I’ve asked her before to get him a cheap air mattress if she wants him to spend the night, which she did, but they popped it on the first night And she has yet to replace it. (I’ve asked multiple times)

I’m at the point where I’m about to tell her that he can’t stay anymore. He’s ruining MY furniture with his stench. Any time I try to bring it up to her, she just says “You’ll survive” AITA for asking her to not have her friend spend the night anymore??

Note: He’s been told by multiple people that he stinks, and he doesn’t seem to care. Her tellong him won’t solve anything. ######

Response: NTA. Does your sister know why he stinks so bad? Is it a base lack of hygiene or is there some underlying condition going on? ######


Prompt:
Okay, so some backstory. My parents are pretty well off, and with everything happening have been pretty lucky to have kept their work and consistent pay checks. I (21F) am married, moved out, finished college this semester, and completely financially independent from my parents, although my husband and I still go to their house for dinner about once a week. I have 2 brothers, one older and one younger, and i’m close in age to both of them. Neither are financially independent. My younger brother (20) still lives at home and my older brother (23) still has about a year left in college and my parents pay for his rent and food. They paid for my rent and food until I got married. They paid my tuition all 4 years, and they’ll pay my brothers tuition until he graduates. (we go to a school where tuition is 5-6k/year)

While at their house for dinner, I mentioned that my husband and I got our stimulus checks, and my dad said that we should give him $200 since he would have gotten $500 per kid (or $1500 plus $2400 for he and my mom), to make it “fair”

My husband and I could really use the money, and feel like since i’m not financially dependent on my parents that we shouldn’t have to pay them anything. WIBTA if I told him I won’t pay him?

info: I don’t mean this to sound like I don’t appreciate everything they’ve done for me, because I do and I have told them that. I couldn’t work through college because I had a full course load and my program required 20ish hours/week of unpaid work as a graduation requirement. However, my parents offered to support me through college from the start. ######

Response: NTA. Does your dad know that he wouldn't have gotten any money for you anyways since you are over the age threshold? ######


Prompt:
It’s a really nice day out so my mom said she was going to sit outside.

I have been excited about tie dying some old clothes as a fun craft. My mom is not creative at all and never really likes things like that so she just didn’t take any interest. I had all my equipment and was getting ready to roll up the clothes, she came out yelling at me because I’m gonna get dye everywhere - I tell her that I’m not dyeing it yet, I’m just rolling it. I have a separate container for dyeing. Then she starts getting angry about the water from the dye going down the drain, even though I told her I was gonna rinse everything in the bathroom. After a while, I just dropped the whole thing and didn’t dye anything. Just went to my room. My mom is now pissed at me for leaving her to sit outside by herself but I was trying to do my own thing and she kept getting me down about it. ######

Response:
 NTA. Does she lash out often?  If so, being away is fine. If uncommon, maybe she needs some space now and then try to talk to her later.

I would suggest asking her if she wants to help or give input. Make her feel like she is part of what you are doing. But only if this is uncommon. If she  does this lashing out often, you do what you need to do.

As a mom, we all have bad moods. Also as a mom, I like being involved. Whether if it is my 7 year old doing crafts or my 23 year old asking me about buying her first house, being involved makes me happy. Maybe she feels like you are growing apart?

I am in no way blaming you!  You did nothing wrong. Just offering insight. I hope this was an uncommon thing. ######


Prompt:
I can’t believe I’m posting something so ridiculous, but this friend who’s mad at me usually doesn’t react like this so I think I must be missing something.

My friend just finished school to become a hairstylist. We were chatting and I mentioned I’d been thinking about changing my hair. She asked me to let her do it because she needed clients to start her business and said she’d do it for free if I posted it and showed it off and told people about her. I said great but that free was too generous and I wanted to pay her something, so we agreed on a discounted rate. I got an exciting new hairstyle - new cut and color. It was a big change and it looks great. I posted it on social media and tagged her and everyone loved it. I even gave out her number to several people who asked about it.

Last night we were on a FaceTime chat with a bunch of friends to catch up, play games, whatever. I had my hair pulled back in a ponytail. I didn’t think anything was wrong until later when she called me. She thought I was hiding my hair on purpose from all our friends. I admit I thought she was joking so I kind of laughed. Then she got more mad and started saying how our agreement was exposure and I should be taking care of my hair and showing it off and how hurtful it was to hide her hard work when she was excited about it. She kept getting mad and it escalated from there as I tried to calm the situation down. I admit I didn’t really apologize because I was so taken aback at the reaction. I mean, I posted it and gave people her contact info and got her name out there! Was I supposed to keep advertising my hair forever? A ponytail is a perfectly normal hairstyle right?? Am I crazy??

AITA for “hiding her hard work?” Should I have just apologized? ######

Response: NTA. Does she expect you to have it down all the time with her business cards/contact info taped to your head? You did what she asked and if she needed you to CONSTANTLY show it off to literally everyone you come into contact with, she should have clarified that. ######


Prompt:
Recently my sister and her husband just had another baby. In the past they have been very clear about not posting pictures of their kids on social media. When they texted the extended family to announce the birth, they added a couple of picture and asked no pictures be put on social media.
Well today. Scrolling Facebook I saw my aunt had posted one of the pictures of the baby along with it’s full name, birthdate, height and weight. This aunt has posted pictures of the kids in the past, but I’m not sure if the parents have discussed this more with her or not. The parent don’t have any social media so they won’t find out about the post unless someone tells them. I also feel it’s important to know that her Facebook is public, so anyone can see the photo, not just her friend list.

So WIBTA if I told the parents? I feel they should know but I know my aunt will be upset if she finds out I told on her, and there’s a good chance she would find out. ######

Response: NTA. Do you think she would take it down if you asked kindly before involving the parents? If not, then don’t feel bad about telling your sister. I’m sure she would appreciate your honesty. ######


Prompt:
Long story short, family friend had this boil thing on their leg, and they heard that because cats saliva is an antiseptic, they wanted to come over and have my cat LICK it!!

I said no frikkin way.

Now my parents and friend are pissed at me.
Apparently I'm being a snob, it's only an animal and licks it's  butt etc... My issue is that it's gross, who knows if my cat could get sick from it, and it just seems so wrong to me..

My cat is like my baby, she follows me around and sleeps on my bed at night.

AITA for refusing to let them use my cat? ######

Response:
 NTA. Do you know why we put cones on animals when they've had an operation? You guessed it: so they won't lick their wounds and cause an infection.

Not only can your cat get sick, your friend risks getting sick, too.

Also eeew gross! Wtf did I just read >< ######


Prompt:
Not mine, but my friends. "I have 2 adult kids. Both have graduated from college, but are currently living with me due to the situation and such. Neither have jobs since they both got laid off at the beginning of all of this. I'm happy to have them both back at the house, it was getting lonely since my husband passed not to long ago. I had saved up roughly 50k for each for college. My one kid, who we'll call J, and my other kid, who we'll call S, are twins. J got a scholarship that covered most of her school expenses, but I paid for rent, food, etc. I was super proud of her. S also went to college, though she didn't get a scholarship, which I was fine with. I was also super proud of her. I didn't want either of them to start out life with a bunch of student loans, so I was happy to pay for both of them since I could afford to do so. S also worked part-time to help pay.

Now that they are both out of jobs and living with me, J has started asking about the rest of her "rightly deserved money". She wants it, I don't know if its to save or spend, but she claims that its not her fault she got a scholarship and that I didn't have to pay as much for her as her sister. I was planning on either doing renovations, possibly moving (my house is kinda big now that its just me), or going on a vacation in a few months (depending how things go) with the money. Obviously, after they both move out and get new jobs. I told her this and she got super mad. She kept going on and on about how it was her money. S stepped in and said that she should be grateful for all the help I've given both of them. Now J is mad at me and S and J are fighting. Was I wrong for not giving her the money? Should I give her the money?

I'll also add that I've not asked either to pay rent, food, etc while they have been living with me. So, whatever money they had at the begging before their job loss, they should still have most of. ######

Response: NTA. Do not give J the money. If there had been an agreement in place that each gets $X for college and may keep any excess, my judgment would be different. That’s not the case here. S is right that they should both be grateful for your generosity. ######


Prompt:
My uncle recently died and when we went to discuss the will he left a majority of his belongings to me. I know what your thinking, why would he leave it to me? He never got married and never had children but, me and him were practically best friends what he did have though was a girlfriend. My uncles girlfriend obviously didn't love him and was using him for money. The two of them had a 30 year age gap and she had given birth to a other man's children (twins) while in a relationship with him. My uncle did love the twins dearly so he left them a trust fund the details about that are unknown. Anyways, my Uncle left me A LARGe sum of money and his girlfriend is angry that I am not giving it to her. Since she was his partner. My Uncle also left his house and the majority of his belongings to ME. Due to his age he updated his will frequently so if he wanted to leave his money to her he would have.

My mother is okay with this because his girlfriend was never respectful to the rest of the family, not even my grandmother.so it's not like she would have lasted long. I understand that the children are innocent so I plan on giving her SOME money, but she wants everything, including the house.
Ok so, would I be the asshole for accepting the money
Sorry if I worded it badly ######

Response: NTA. DO NOT GIVE HER A CENT. ######


Prompt:
I am a (16f) and I work part time at Walmart to save up money for college. My parents aren’t very well off and haven’t saved any money for my education. I don’t blame them for this but it’s also been stressing me out, which is why I wanted to get a job.

My grandma lives in England and came to my house to visit more than a month ago. My mom has been begging me to give my grandma $500 because I am the first of her grandchildren to get a job and it would be a special gift. My mom also thinks that I should give her this money to show appreciation to her because my grandma has sent me money in the past. However, that was only once and my mom made me lie to my grandma and say I received the money even though my mom used it all. My mom has also been taking my money for other things and calling me selfish and ungrateful if I object.

This really bothers me because I am trying to save up money for college because my parents never did. It feels as though if my parents cared about my future they would leave my money alone and see that I am trying to better myself. I think it’s also important to mention that my grandma and I have absolutely no relationship due to distance.

I feel really bad and guilty because it’s always been ingrained in me that you’re supposed to give up anything for family and you’re not supposed to disrespect your elders. Am I the asshole for not wanting to give up a piece of my college money for my grandma? ######

Response: NTA. Do not give anyone in your family a dime. This is financial abuse. ######


Prompt:
My sister and I have been fighting for a while because she never gets me so much as a card for my birthday, and I always would get her an actual present. When I brought it up to her before my birthday in September she said that it’s because I make more than her so it’s only fair that I “give back”.

So I didn’t get her anything this year, which caused a huge fight in January when it happened. Then we didn’t talk until now, but we recently bought my husband a new car which sparked another argument because she said that if I have enough for a car I have enough for a present for her.

The point isn’t that I can’t afford the presents, it’s that she never does anything for me. She keeps going on and on about how I make more but I’d be happy with a card or a drawing or something cheap.

My mom thinks I should just buy her something to shut her up but I think that would be enabling her.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Do not get her another frigging thing. What a rotten, immature child she is. And yes, it seems your parents just enable her, so they're definitely at least partially at fault here. Seriously, she doesn't deserve anything. Ever. ######


Prompt:
Title sounds bad, the situation itself might be as well.

For some background: my wife and I are both women in our mid-30s and she's expecting our first child, almost in her third trimester. I've suffered from eating disorders in the past, I'm still seeing a therapist and my wife is aware of this, even if I try not to talk about it with her. Talking about weight gain is a huge trigger for me, to the point that I try to steer the conversation away from the subject if it comes up (if I can't, I nod politely and wait for it to be over). My wife also knows of this and I know she tries her best not to talk about it, but she's been a bit overweight her whole life and has always been into different kinds of diet. That's fine, I love her and I can take a bit of diet talk once in a while, even if I'm not too happy about it.

Things have gotten worse with the pregnancy: she's always commenting and asking me if she's gained weight (like, almost once a day, sometimes more) and I try to be kind and tell her that no, she's just pregnant and looks as beautiful as ever, but she insists. I've developed some body-image issues of my own in the past year and all this weight talk is, for lack of better words, making me lose my shit. Yesterday night, she asked me two times if I think she's fat and the second time I just snapped and told her something along the lines of "You've gained weight, but that's what happens when you're pregnant".

As a result, she locked herself in the bathroom, called her mother on the phone and sobbed for an hour as I attempted to convince her to open the door. She wouldn't talk to me this morning despite me apologizing and telling her multiple times that I love her and her body very much and I'm writing this during my lunch break because I feel so guilty I'm about to cry.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Disclaimer: I feel for your wife, and I give pregnant women a wide berth for their mood swings.

But you have a history of disordered eating, and at this point your wife not dropping the subject of weight, baby or not, is selfish and unproductive. Why does she keep discussing these issues with you? She needs to find a different audience for her weight concerns! She should have done that before she got pregnant, and she *definitely* should have found a different outlet during the pregnancy. I hope she finds a more appropriate friend with whom she can discuss her weight concerns, instead of with the one person in her life who sincerely struggles with these conversations. Her continuing to have them with you... fuck.

I would advise that if she brings up these conversations again, you calmly remind her that weight conversations trigger your past struggles. Then cock your head to the side and ask in a bewildered voice, “I’m confused why you keep bringing up this subject? But I’m going to remove myself from the conversation.” And walk away. ######


Prompt: So a coworker of mine and I happen to share a lot of the same friends. Today we were talking about some of our friends, and she starts describing this one friend she has. He sounds familiar so I say that he sounds familiar, I have a similar friend and start describing him thinking it might be the same person. I said he was smart, really funny, black, tall, and sporty. She then looks at me funny and said that she didn't know I was racist. I was really confused I said what? She said that since I said my friend is black that makes me racist. I was so confused and flabbergasted so I just went to do other things. I've been thinking and do I just not know what racism is? Is saying someone is black racist? I am still confused ######

Response: NTA. Did you know that it’s sexist to say my friend is a girl? ######


Prompt:
During quarantine I made a new group of friends on an app (two other girls and two guys).  One of our first conversations was about the MCU and we were playing “Fuck, Marry, Kill” with the Avengers. I was asked to choose between three of the guys, and I replied that I resented not having Scarlett Johansson as an option. Everyone laughed (well, typed “hahaha”) and agreed to swap out one of my options. I didn’t realize at the time that everyone took this as me telling them I was a lesbian, I was just joking around about the fact that I think Scarlett Johansson is objectively the most attractive team member. That was about a month ago and I forgot all about it.

But then last night we met up in person for the first time and got into a conversation about Pride Month, and I realized that everyone thought I was a lesbian. I clarified that I identify as straight and am currently dating a guy. Everyone said that I told them I was a lesbian. I asked when and they brought up the game of “Fuck, Marry, Kill.” I said that was just a game and I didn’t mean anything by it. They said that was “pretty shitty because it’s like I’m misrepresenting myself and trivializing queer identity to sound quirky or interesting or whatever.” I said I was sorry if it was shitty and that I wasn’t trying to mislead anyone. We stopped talking about it, but the rest of the night was kind of awkward and then this morning I got left on read in the group chat.

So now I’m wondering if they’re overreacting or if I really was that insensitive. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Did they think you wanted to actually “kill” one of the options too? It was a game. Scarlett is objectively very sexy. It was just a misunderstanding and you clarified your position once you were made aware. Hopefully they can understand that. You’re all still getting to know each other anyway. ######


Prompt:
We suck at money, and I’m really trying to get better about it. He has had a long week, we’re getting our stimulus money soon and he worked some OT last week, so when he asked if he could get a game, I said sure. He called me later and said the DLC he bought didn’t include everything recent, so he asked if he could get that too, and I said sure.

I didn’t ask how much it was. I assumed (you know what happens then) that it would be maybe $100 total for both.

I checked our bank account this morning and it was $350! I told him how much spending money we had TOGETHER this paycheck, and that is almost all of it. AITA for being upset about this, or is it my fault for not asking the amount? ######

Response: NTA. Did he fucking buy all of EU4 or something? ######


Prompt:
My friend had a dog and he left it with me when he moved to another town, saying he would come back to get it once all things are settled down.

From before the pandemic till it's almost over, for 4 months after he moved and he still had no intention of coming to get it. He kept coming up with excuses, the pandemic his favourite among all. He couldn't make a trip here to collect his dog when he even went further to visit his girlfriend's parents, as shown on his IG.

I am not a dog person, I like cats instead of dogs but prefer no pets at all. For 4 months I have been cleaning up after this dog who just doesn't behave. He destroyed my things and always did business in funny places, also liked to growl at night for some reason. Maybe it was because I work long hours and could not take it out for walks.

I know it may be my behaviours that led the dog to misbehave but come on, I did not ask for this. I could tell that we are both miserable, the dog slightly less so as he seemed to be very attached to me, which was quite sad because the feelings weren't mutual.

I warned my friend that if by May he still wouldn't come to collect his dog I will give it away. He promised to come and get it but as usual, came up with an excuse, saying his girlfriend caught a cold and he wanted to self isolate, nice timing again.

I posted the dogs details on an adoption site and last week and today, finally got the poor thing adopted. It was for the best as I am a bad owner and he deserves better human, I may also finally get some peace in the house. I told this to my friend and he completely blew up on me on the phone.

He claimed that he thought I was joking when I warned him and now he wanted his dog back, what about self isolation again I wonder? I may update this later as it just happened but AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Despite your lack of affection for dogs, you seem to care more about the dog’s wellbeing than the actual owner. It’s a crappy situation, but you made the best choice possible. ######


Prompt:
I've recently been having some dental problems like pain and black spots on my gums and teeth pain, it's been going on for a few months and I've brought it up with my parents and asked if I could go to a dentist. They've repeatedly pushed it back saying I'll be alright in some time, but when I do bring it back it up they say the same thing as if I haven't told them before.

I understand that dentists are expensive (where I live), and I'm not covered under health insurance either (since we're not citizens). I get that seeing a dentist can become very expensive but these pains have really been starting to get worse and I'm asking for dentists more and more. Would I be the asshole if I just told my parents to just take me to a dentist already?

For context, we are by no means poor, but my parents did grow up in a country without many dentists so they were raised with the belief that dental problems aren't that big of a deal and that it'll resolve itself. ######

Response:
 NTA. Dental problems aren't like a damn bruise, they don't get better, they get significantly worse over time if not treated. Get to a dentist ASAP! If for nothing else than at least an evaluation of how bad the situation is.

-Coming from a man with garbage teeth and constant visits to the dentist through my whole life. ######


Prompt: AITA? Today husband was waiting for me in the car while I took my kid in or a dr appointment. While waiting, he needed to use the bathroom and decided to use my coffee cup to relieve himself. We both have reusable cups and mine was empty and his had a small amount of old coffee that he isn’t going to drink anymore. Also, dr office is a short walk away and would let him use the bathroom if he asked. Am I unreasonable I be pissed that he used my cup to piss in?  No matter how much he cleans it, it just seems totally inconsiderate to use my stuff like that. ######

Response:
 NTA. Definitely NTA. He could've pissed in his own cup.

OR GOTTEN OUT OF THE CAR TO USE THE READILY AVAILABLE TOILET LIKE ADULTS DO. ######


Prompt: My dad passed away last year and i’m the only one  along with my little sister who are on the life insurance. I am supposed to receive the money on my 18th birthday but my mom and brother (m20) are asking me to help contribute $10,000+ to a house that i’m probably not gonna live in because i’ll be 19 almost 20 moving on with my life. I have no idea how much life insurance money i’ll be receiving anyways but what should i do ? Do I give them half or do I think about myself and my future considering I am young and I had other plans on investments. ######

Response: NTA. Definitely lawyer up though. You shouldn’t give them the money because you need that money for college. They are not entitled to your money. ######


Prompt:
Last night my partner had a uni exam that went quite late. I cooked dinner and we ate it upstairs in bed.

This morning I saw that he peed into one of the tupperware containers we keep food in after finishing his dinner. I told him it was absolutely repulsive because that's where we keep food. He said it shouldn't matter because it's just salt water and hed wash it out. I told him it was disgusting and he should throw out the container or mark it because I dont want to use it anymore.

He BLEW UP and told me I was overreacting and using anger to get my way. He then scrubbed the container and mixed it in with the other Tupperware so I couldnt mark it.

Now we aren't speaking. He says my reaction was way over the top and all guys do this. I say its gross that he peed in the container and even grosser for trying to hide it from me so that I have to use it.

So internet people, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Dear lord WHY IS HE PEEING IN A TUPPERWARE CONTAINER????? Y'all have a bathroom right? ######


Prompt:
Throw away because my husband also has reddit.

My husband is gone a lot, therefore I do the cooking and cleaning 100% of the time for our family. Our definition of cleaning is completely different. I scrub everything. Especially the kitchen before and after I cook so it just stays clean. He is the complete opposite, which I’ve learned to live with kind of but it does drive me nuts, love him, but ugh.

Due to the virus my husband is laid off and I asked him to make a simple spaghetti dinner while I pack stuff (we bought a house and are currently moving).

Now, that’s all and well but instead of just tasting the noodles like I thought everyone did, he likes to throw the noodles on the wall to see if they are done and forgets to take the noodles that he throws down.

1. I just deep cleaned the entire apartment due to moving out.
2. I’m 5’2. He is 6’3. He also throws out and up vs straight out so I can’t reach the noodles (not to be an ass I’m sure, just the way he throws).

I came out when dinner was done to see four noodles attached to the wall, I asked him to please stop throwing them and just bring a noddle to me if he needs help determining their “done-ness” and he flipped out on me and hasn’t spoken to me in an hour and a half. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Dear god, it's like every incompetent husband post on here lowers the bar a bit more. I can not believe you're being forced to ask if you're an asshole because you prefer for noodles not to be left on the wall. I mean, seriously. ######


Prompt: I(f18) have always been uncomfortable with my mom(f53) posting pictures of me and information about me on Facebook. She’s been doing it for over 10 years and posts multiple times a day. Any time she would take a picture of me I would try to cover my face or make a shitty face so she couldn’t post it. Her Facebook has a lot of private information and really horrible, ugly photos of me on it. It even has pictures of me naked when I was young. I’m extremely uncomfortable with all this information being out there for anyone to see especially since I’m about to join the work force. Ive talked with her about it before but she only agreed to stop tagging me in posts (without deleting the old ones she tagged me in) and continues to attach my name to the images. WIBTA if I told her to delete everything she has of me off face book or to delete the account altogether. ######

Response: NTA. Data protection is a thing,I'm pretty sure there was a case in Germany where a kid sued their parents for something like this as it was an invasion of their privacy. I won't go into the naked pics of you on there only that at the very least get her to remove them. I seriously hope your mother's page is at least on a private setting so total randomers can't access it. ######


Prompt:
I, (23F) recently moved out of my mother’s home. 3 years ago my cousin passed away due to a heart attack. I keep a album with pictures of them and me which brings me great comfort. My mother was always bitter about me and my cousins relationship. She always throws out or gets rid of my stuff that she doesn’t like.

While i was cleaning out my things, i couldn’t find my album. I asked my Mom about its whereabouts and she said she threw it away since it was just “junk”

I. Was. Livid

I started freaking out about how it was my last part of my cousin. My cousin and I were very close, like sisters. my mother said it was just old photos and i shouldve downloaded them on my computer if i didn’t want to loose them. My mother has been doing this stuff for years and i finally reached my breaking point. I packed up everything i had and went to my new apartment. I quickly went to all the local dumps and places to see if i could find my album. I still haven’t found it yet. I dont know what to do! My mom is calling me an asshole for getting mad. I want to forgive but i can’t do this.  I later cut her off after she went on a rant to my whole family about how i’m an ungrateful bitch. she was awful to me in my youth and my cousin was my only comfort.

Reddit, AITA? I really need others input. I’m so angry and sad. Please help. ######

Response:
 NTA. Cut. Her. Off. And I mean actually cut her off. Go NC. Stop receiving her calls. Block her number. Stop visiting her. Stop letting her visit you. She's never going to respect you. This relationship will never bring you any good. You live your life. Go to therapy. Work on doing and getting better.

Edit: forgot to add NTA ######


Prompt:
Lol I know the title sounds misleading.

Anyway my mother passed away 2 years ago and I have some of her everyday wear jewelry. Some of the jewelry is old and I don't think she ever took it to get it cleaned. Recently I asked my dad if he could go get it cleaned for me but he's been putting it off so he never got the chance.

Today I woke up and decided to take it upon myself to look up diy cleaning solutions. The jewelry I chose to clean weren't real gold or diamonds or even expensive so I figured it was safe. I found a simple baking soda and dish wash solutions. The steps also said to use a clean, fresh toothbrush in case an old one may have unknown harsh chemicals. Well I had everything but a toothbrush so I decided to go and ask my cousin (who I live with) if she has one.

Me: "hey B, you got a toothbrush?"

B: "Sure."

Then she gave me one and made some joke about how only old ladies have spare toothbrush but she wanted to always be prepared in case someone needed. By this point she already gave me the brush and so I went to clean the jewelry.

Fast Forward and I asked her opinion like 2 times on if the jewelry looked differently to her. Finally when I went to show her the finished product, she saw the toothbrush in the solution and got mad. She asked if I used the toothbrush to clean the jewelry and I said "yeah." She said she would've just given me an old one, but I said I couldn't use an old one for the reason above. Then she said "what if someone spends the night and actually needed to use it to brush their teeth?" By this point I'm kind of "???" because she also told me she literally has multiple packs of toothbrushes just in case. Eventually I told her I'll just buy another one for her and she's basically been ignoring me.

I mean of course I'll buy her another one, they're the cheap ones so it's literally 75 cents at most. But I was just wondering if I'm TA for not specifically telling her what the toothbrush was for? ######

Response: NTA. Cousin is being petty about how you used a cheap toothbrush. Buy her another 75c toothbrush and be done. ######


Prompt:
To understand the full story you will need some key information about my life. At a young age my parents were divorced,and my oldest sibling is a trans female.

I just finished my school year and to celebrate me and my friends decided to dye our hair. My mother was completely fine with it but suggested I asked my dad first.

Here’s how to conversation went.
D=Dad
M=Mom
OP:Me

OP:(over Text Message) Hey, can I dye my hair,Momma said it was fine but wanted me to ask you first.

D: What Color and your whole head?

OP:Red and probably not, I only have half a bottle of dye.

D:I’m thinking you shouldn’t unless you’re gay.

Now when he said that I was in complete shock and went to my mom for her advice on what to do, she was outraged as her oldest child is part of the lgbt community . She suggested that we dye my hair anyways to prove a point.

When I went to visit my dad he grounded me and took my phone for breaking his rules, and has said that he won’t take me anywhere because I’m a embarrassment to him. Reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Cool, don’t go anywhere with him. He’s an embarrassment to YOU. ######


Prompt:
I am (17F) and I am 173 (5'8) cm and I weigh about 68 kgs (150 pounds). I have struggled with body image issues throughout my life.

My mom cares about my health a lot and has been telling me to lose weight for the past year. First it was mild but now it has become slightly overbearing as she tells me to watch what I eat all the time. I understand, really. Her concern is natural.

I used to go running before but since I can't really do that these days, I am exercising at home. To be honest, our home is not very big and there's not much space so the exercise isn't very fruitful so I decided to follow a diet too.

Normally my mom makes easy to make food which isn't always very healthy as she doesn't really like putting too much effort into our food. Which I was fine with.

Now, my mom flat out refused to cook some healthy alternatives for me as she says that there is no need for me to go on a diet if I just exercise enough. I told her that the exercise isn't being really helpful to me.

Mom said that she can't cook extra healthy food for me as it would be too much work for her. Then I suggested that she can cook the healthy meal for both of us. She flat out refused and said that I was the one who needed to lose weight, not her.

Finally I decided that I should make my own food. My mother said that I have never been near the stove my entire life and that I'll burn the house down. She says if I just exercise enough then I won't have to go on a diet.

Yesterday i refused to eat the food made by her and instead made myself some salad. My mother feels insulted and says that I am being disrespectful.

Am I really being disrespectful?

AITA for making my own food when Mom told me not to? ######

Response: NTA. Cooking is a life skill you should be learning. Your mom is also wrong - if you consume more calories than you use that causes weight gain. Diet is a huge factor, exercise is important too but a lot of it is diet. ######


Prompt:
Hi! Second time posting here.

Okay so basically– I really really dislike taking photos or videos of myself, and I hate it when others do that too. It might just be an insecurity issue. I just don't feel comfortable when people do it, but even though I tell others that often, I still get dragged in for photos very now and then.

My sister’s a streamer on Facebook. She’s not  INSANELY popular or famous but she definitely has a sort of big following.

A few hours ago she decided to take videos of me and uploaded it onto her Instagram story where her fans could see it. I didn't notice that she did that until she told me about it, and obviously I grew kind of irritated.

I've told her multiple times that I really just don't like when others take pictures of videos of me ( or call me cute, because it makes me uncomfortable ) but she continues to do it anyways. When I told her I really didn't appreciate that and showed that I was kinda annoyed, she teased me ( which she does, a lot, because she says she loves to annoy me ) and laughed, before asking me if I was going to cry about it (for some reason whenever I get annoyed she always asks me if I'm going to cry about it. I guess it's because she thinks I'm a crybaby?)

I feel like I was kind of being a jerk when I got pissed off. After that I sort of thought and felt like I was overreacting because it's just a short video, and there was nothing for me to get mad about but I dunno. ######

Response: NTA. Contact Facebook and get the videos taken down. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so backstory... I have an aunt who has two girls (16 & 9) my aunt doesn’t know how or care to learn how to do hair. I learned how to do my own hair when I was younger, so I’m fairly good at braiding, etc.

However, being a hairstylist is not my ambition. I actually hate doing hair, but because they had no one else to do their hair.. I did it for them, didn’t ask for anything in return. The free hairstyles went on for about 2 months..

When I started getting short on cash, and realized she was bringing them by my house almost every week to get their hair done.. (retwist for the older girls whole head, and the younger usually wanted some style she’d seen on Instagram) I told her that I’d like to start getting paid $20 per head. Which isn’t bad considering that the process to do both heads usually took me all day.

She got upset and refused, started talking about all the things she’d done for me.. which only included a few rides to work (which she was compensated for) & she started taking her girls to a hair salon, paying way more than what I asked for. When I questioned the logic, she said if she was going to pay for her kids hair to be done it was going to be professionally. Okay, no problem.. I hate doing hair anyway.

So, now that COVID has shut down most businesses.. she had my mom reach out to me asking me to do the girls hair. Again, I said I would but it will be $20 per head. I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong, she has the funds.. she just doesn’t feel like she should have to pay me. My mom, and other aunts have been texting me about the value of family and being there for one another, calling me selfish, etc... but considering I’m out of work and barely making it.. I don’t think I’m the one being selfish.. thoughts?

LSDR; Aunt doesn’t feel the need to pay me to do her kids hair, but will pay professionals for 3x my asking price! ######

Response: NTA. considering the frequency of her asking you to do this and how long it takes you to do so, it’s compensation for your time. whether you’re a professional or not, you are not obligated to do any of it for free. it’s a fair price especially for how long it takes you to do their hair. ######


Prompt: My 28th birthday is on the 23rd. I’m a little old for presents so it doesn’t matter that much to me, but.. Both my dad AND my fiancé are complaining to me about how much my presents cost them.. I don’t know what they are or how much they cost, I haven’t received them yet, and I haven’t asked for anything. Would it be an asshole move to tell them to return whatever they got so they can save themselves the financial stress? And honestly also so they stop complaining about it to me, because I’d rather have no presents and no stress than be given stuff with more complaints attached.. ######

Response: NTA. Complaining about the cost of a gift you’ve chosen to buy for someone is a really shitty thing to do. ######


Prompt:
Context: I \[30m\] live with two roommates: Kate \[32f\] and Sean \[27m\]. We are in friendly terms. While generally each person buys their own food, we also have "communal food" - things one of us brought, but everyone can use. Until recently, that worked perfectly fine.

I do "food rescuing" quite regularly - which means "hunting" for food items shops discard, but are still usable. Not quite dumpster diving, but not very far off. Usually, whatever I find is either donated or becomes communal food. Kate ocassionally dabbles in food rescuing, too, and Sean does not. More often than not, 90% of the apartment's communal food are stuff I brought.

As mentioned, until now, that worked smoothly.

I recently brought a huge amount of rescued food into the apartment: two large boxes full of \[probably absurdly expensive\] bakery bread. We freezed most of it, as there was no way we could handle this amount - and it seemed like enough bread to last us 6 months minimum. Or at least that's what I thought.

A few days ago - and roughtly a month later, I opened the freezer, and discovered we actually almost ran out - and I barely got to have any.

As it turns out, Sean, who was now at home 24/7, and is known among other things for having the appetite of a sleep-deprived teenage athlete, switched his entire diet to be based on artisanal bread, and went through almost all of our supply.

Frankly, it is a very petty, small deal. It's not exactly difficult to get bread \[or buy some, if I don't find any on scavenging trips\]. I didn't pay for any of it anyway - but I'm annoyed, because I feel like it's ruining a good thing for everyone: if I want to get to use the things I bring in, I need to either declare them no longer communal \[which sucks\], or have to try to take Sean's amazing appetite into account and take several times as much \[which also sucks\].

WIBTA if I tell him to tone down his use of everyone's communal food? ######

Response: NTA. Communal or not, it's common courtesy to not cram most of the communal food into your gob and leave nothing, or next to nothing, for everyone else. ######


Prompt:
Context: I \[30m\] live with two roommates: Kate \[32f\] and Sean \[27m\]. We are in friendly terms. While generally each person buys their own food, we also have "communal food" - things one of us brought, but everyone can use. Until recently, that worked perfectly fine.

I do "food rescuing" quite regularly - which means "hunting" for food items shops discard, but are still usable. Not quite dumpster diving, but not very far off. Usually, whatever I find is either donated or becomes communal food. Kate ocassionally dabbles in food rescuing, too, and Sean does not. More often than not, 90% of the apartment's communal food are stuff I brought.

As mentioned, until now, that worked smoothly.

I recently brought a huge amount of rescued food into the apartment: two large boxes full of \[probably absurdly expensive\] bakery bread. We freezed most of it, as there was no way we could handle this amount - and it seemed like enough bread to last us 6 months minimum. Or at least that's what I thought.

A few days ago - and roughtly a month later, I opened the freezer, and discovered we actually almost ran out - and I barely got to have any.

As it turns out, Sean, who was now at home 24/7, and is known among other things for having the appetite of a sleep-deprived teenage athlete, switched his entire diet to be based on artisanal bread, and went through almost all of our supply.

Frankly, it is a very petty, small deal. It's not exactly difficult to get bread \[or buy some, if I don't find any on scavenging trips\]. I didn't pay for any of it anyway - but I'm annoyed, because I feel like it's ruining a good thing for everyone: if I want to get to use the things I bring in, I need to either declare them no longer communal \[which sucks\], or have to try to take Sean's amazing appetite into account and take several times as much \[which also sucks\].

WIBTA if I tell him to tone down his use of everyone's communal food? ######

Response: NTA. Communal food should come with the common sense that you should be reasonable about what you eat ######


Prompt:
I have a dog that has very high prey drive who chases rabbits and squirrels in my backyard. I have a privacy fence and always stand outside to supervise my dog when he goes out.

Neighbors recently moved into the house behind me and have been letting their cat roam the neighborhood. The cat has recently started coming into my fenced-in yard and it has felt comfortable getting closer and closer to my house.

I informed the neighbors that my dog has strong prey drive and could very likely seriously harm their cat. It is easy to check the for the cat during the day, however at night I'm terrified the cat could be in my yard. The cat has no fear of dogs at all it seems.

I asked the neighbors to not let their catch roam. They told me it's by fault I have an aggressive dog and I should take my dog out on a leash. I told them I have a privacy fence and it's not my problem if they choose to let their cat roam. It is also against the law in my city for domestic cats to roam.

AITA for telling them to keep their cat inside and off my property and refusing to leash my dog to take him out? ######

Response: NTA. Cite the anti-cat-roaming law. You should be safe, if your fence conforms to the city's ordinances regarding dog fencing. ######


Prompt:
So recently Girlfriend and I adopted her siblings and honestly I love them, I see them as mine and the youngest calls me dad which brings tears to my eyes. I’ve watched the two younger girls grow since they were babies and Carlos I’m trying with him through video games and fixing skateboards.
My mom lives with us in our Ranch style home  that we recently got due to previous posts gf posted.
Now onto the story.

My sister passed away giving birth to her newborn son on July 27th. It doesn’t phase me as I wasn’t close to her but my 4 other sisters are distraught and my mom knows and is mourning.
The problem now is that all my sisters want me to adopt her kids to keep them in the family seeing I’m financially stable and that I’m doing better than them. I threw it back at them and told them to adopt since they loved our oldest so much.
I’ve babysat my 9 year old niece in the past and it wasn’t a cakewalk, that child was spoiled rotten, given a tablet real early and needed the tv on just in case they got board of the tablet. When I would take the tablet she would break something if she didn’t get her way. I was never compensated for broken items and the child would complain how I barely fed her anything when shes obviously overweight. After babysitting only twice I told my sister and her niece to go fuck themselves and to never count on me if that was the way they were.
My niece and newborn nephews fathers aren’t in the picture. So I understand if I don’t adopt them they will be lost to the system but her doctor told her that her son was going to come with complications. She should’ve had a plan ready.
My mom tells me to not take them in as it was my sisters fault for not planning ahead or thinking of herself, gf said it’s my decision, and my sisters are saying I’m a douche/asshole for killing off her bloodline. So am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Children shouldn’t grow up in a home where they aren’t wanted. ######


Prompt: Hi everybody! My fiancé and I are expecting a baby in December. I have a lot of bad history with my last name and my fiancé’s family also has a really bad history. For this reason I’ve always wanted my baby to have a new last name to start brand new with no history. We both agree to this and decided this is what we are going to do. However his family does not want that. So are we the assholes for wanting something different and going against his families wishes? ######

Response: NTA. Change your own names too. F* 'em. ######


Prompt: Our 16F daughter recently came out and to be honest I don’t care  and think there is nothing wrong with it.However,my wife thinks it’s weird,and has been acting hateful to our daughter.The other day she told me she’s thinks it’s wrong and that men are for women.I told her it doesn’t matter and that I only care about my daughters happiness.She told me she’s gonna try to do something to change our daughters mind.I straight up told her if she doesn’t Like our daughter for who she is then she doesn’t deserve her.She started getting mad saying it’s her daughter and that she loves her and needs to fix her.I told her what do you mean fix our daughter she’s perfectly fine.I told her she was of shit parent for not excepting our daughter and that I wouldn’t be surprised if our daughter cut her out of her  life.She got mad at me a kicked me out on the couch.AITA ######

Response: NTA. Chances are higher that there’s something wrong with your wife, and not your daughter. I think you’re setting a great example for good parenting :). ######


Prompt:
Sorry if this post is jumbled. Having a rough time right now (for obvious reasons).

Very recently I (20F) was diagnosed with leukemia. Long story short, thought I had Covid, turned out to somehow be worse. Prognosis not great. I have a lot of regrets about not seeing a doctor sooner, but nevertheless.

I told my dad today. He and my mother are separated and only have contact through their lawyers about my little sister. I told him, and he told me I should tell my mother.

The thing is, my mother has a horrible habit of making things all about herself. When I was 12 she discovered I had a problem with depression, and instead of getting me treatment, told me “how could I do this to her” and how I was “making her look bad”. The problem was never resolved and I didn’t get any sort of treatment until my late teens.

Basically, I don’t want to tell her because I know it’ll end up all over Facebook and she’ll make it all about her struggle with my cancer. I’m a private person. I live across the country from her, so I could potentially keep it private until either a, I somehow recover and never have to tell her, or b, my dad invites her to my funeral.
I know it sounds harsh. I’m pretty detached from it all at this point. But I guess I need judgement to either absolve my own guilt or know I’m kinda a POS.

TLDR; My mom makes my pain about her. I don’t want to tell her I have cancer. WIBTA if I said nothing? ######

Response: NTA. Cancer is one of the few things you are free to make all about yourself. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway. On mobile.

I (28f) am childfree and live in a house with my husband (30m). The house was inherited by my husband from his father, we’ve been living in it two years. It’s spacious and away from the city, and we don’t have any immediate neighbors. We don’t need or use all the space, but it’s my husbands childhood home, and we don’t want to sell yet.

My sister (37f) asked me yesterday if my niece (18f) could use me and my husband’s home for a prom/graduation get-together with her friends. My niece had to miss both her senior prom and graduation due to covid, and she’s been really upset, and wanted to do something special since things are opening back up. My sister lives in a condo, and doesn’t have the room for the gathering btw.

My sister explained the “party” would be my niece with probably six of her friends hanging out in the backyard (which has a small gazebo/grill/some trees and flowers). She’d supply the food for them.

I told her no, simply because I don’t want my niece and six teens I don’t know to having a party in the backyard during a pandemic. My sister promised they’d be good, but they’re 18 year olds that have been cooped up for three months. I can’t trust they won’t bring alcohol or invite more people than the original six.

My sister threw a hissy fit at this, saying I was being selfish not “sharing” my wealth with my family (we’re not rich and the house is far from a mansion). Apparently I’m being cruel because my niece is SO bored being stuck at home with her mom and little brothers, and not enjoying summer like she should be. According to my sister, it’s “just one day” and they’re good kids, so I should be lenient.

I love my niece but I don’t appreciate by sister putting me in this uncomfortable situation and trying to guilt me. Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA. Can’t your sister find a local park or other public space to use?

She wasn’t wrong for asking, but she’s definitely TA for demanding and name calling ######


Prompt:
AITA for refusing to go to my sisters wedding?

This happened almost a year ago, but I’m still getting shit for it, so I guess I’ll share here and see where my judgement lies.

So my sister (s) got married to (A), the man who did bad things to me me. We didn’t press charges because he wore protection so there was no
semen for evidence, so the case was somewhat useless already, and we could afford a lawyer. She knew about this before she dated him. She was the first person I went to. Anyway, they ended up dating and got engaged. S asked me to be her maid of honor, but I told her that there is no way I would go to her wedding, and can’t believe she would marry such a horrible man. We both shed a lot of tears that day, but S still insisted she loved A and that he’d changed.

I ended up not going and severing ties with S. Recently, S had a baby and my parents have been giving me hell for my decision, and refusing to meet my nephew or be in any of their lives. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Can’t believe your sister would marry that douche. ######


Prompt:
(On mobile) (TL;DR at bottom)

So due to the pandemic, I am working a lot less. Just a dozen hours or so a week online. My fiancee kept most of her hours as her work switched completely to online.

Her work involves a lot of phone calls and meetings where she wants everything to be quiet. Completely reasonable. Because of this, I'll be playing games or watching videos on my computer and use my gaming headset, which is pretty good at blocking out sound. I may hear her talking a bit, but I can't make out any of the words.

Lately, she has been getting upset with me because she would finish a phone call and start talking to me about something, but because I wasn't paying attention, I don't always notice her switch from talking on a work call to talking to me. I'm listening to something or watching something. It's only when she says my name slightly louder (and sometimes multiple times if I'm focused on what I'm watching or doing) that I notice she is talking to me, and take off my headset. This has been annoying her because she would then have to repeat what she was just said, which to be fair is one of her pet peeves (repeating herself).

She says it's rude of me to not listen when she is trying to talk to me, which is fair, but I don't think I should be forced to sit and wait in case she wants to tell me something or ask me something. Am I just being selfish? She has been the one having to work more, so I know she is stressed out. AITA?

TL;DR: Fiancee doesn't like me using my gaming headset because I can't hear when she is doing a work call or when she is taking to me, and I want to use my headset so I don't need to listen to her meetings and can watch videos or play games with sound. ######

Response: NTA. Can't she just tap you on the shoulder or something before talking to you? It seems unreasonable that you should be forced to listen to all her work calls, because she sometimes says something to you as well. ######


Prompt:
So my partner still brings this up on occasion and everyone seems to think it’s super crazy / mean of me, and I’m *still* not very close with the couple this involves, but I literally don’t think it’s that bad?

So three years ago, my boyfriend and I went on a road trip. We visited two of his friends along the way. They’re a couple and I’d met them twice before, but we weren’t close. The guy in the couple was my boyfriend’s college buddy.

While there, my bf broke my suitcase when he dropped it down too hard. I asked if he’d repay me for it, and college buddy jumped in and said “no, what? You’d really ask that....? that’s really rude. He shouldn’t pay you anything, it was an accident.”

I’m a frustrated crier so I got a little teary eyed and went upstairs. My boyfriend didn’t agree with college buddy, he said since he’d broken it he’d just buy me a new one, so it worked out fine— but the next day when I came downstairs the three of them were having breakfast.

The girl goes “hey, feeling better?” I said yeah, I feel fine. She goes “oh good, the crying was a little melodramatic, we’re all glad that’s over!” And they all laughed. I flatly said “Well, that was an inappropriate thing to say.”

It got a little awkward for a few minutes but it blew over. Later as we were leaving she came up to me semi-privately and said “hey I’m sorry, I just tend to be very honest with my good friends” and I said in genuine surprise, “okay? But we aren’t friends. I’ve met you three times.” She looked absolutely shell-shocked and said “wow, that was pretty rude. All when I was trying to apologize, too.” I said “I’m not trying to be mean. You and I are not friends.”

My boyfriend thought it was hilarious in a shocking way that I’d “actually say that to her”. He maintains its the most blatantly rude thing he’s ever seen me do. Apparently it’s a “southern thing” to just call every person you meet a friend, and by saying she wasn’t my friend i basically declared her my mortal enemy.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Calling you dramatic for crying was rude honestly, and I agree that with the few times you met you probably were not close friends, so of course you could feel offended by her making fun of you, and in front of the guys too. It was also rude of her bf to comment on you asking for your bf to replace the suitcase. Your bf didn't have a problem with it, and even if he did, it isn't the other couple's business when *they are only acquaintances, not close friends with you*. ######


Prompt:
My aunt posted a fake news about Queen Elizabeth II giving praise about President Duterte on facebook. With fake news being prevalent on facebook, I called her out that it is fake news and haha-ed on the post because it is really funny. She then commented that it is because I have differing opinions about the president, that I am embarrasing her, and not respecting her political beliefs. I told her am respecting her political beliefs, I was just concern because it is fake news. She attacked me with a comment “Can you prove it? Did you talk to the queen herself? Are you even close with her?”. I just explained that fake news is prevalent especially nowadays there are alot of edited quotes with photos of celebrities, politicians, dead or alive, and even fictional characters from TV shows. She keeps on saying that I had embarrased her.

My cousin messaged me that I say sorry to my aunt. He also told me how sensitive our aunt was especially with these matters. I  complied for the sake of familial ties and to keep peace in the family. I said sorry that if I had offended her and told her that be vigilant about fake news especially she is a local councilor in our community. She then blocked and unfriended me on facebook.

Am I the asshole for calling her out? I did not mean to embarrass or hurt her. I was just concern because that gullibility in fake news could be used against her especially the politics here in the Philippines is filthy, from National down to local community level. She is my fave aunt and she is the only aunt I have. I don’t want to have a fight just because of politics. ######

Response: NTA. Calling people out on bullshit is usually the right move, and you weren’t a dick about it. ######


Prompt:
They have no yard, and we have a huge one. I guess they feel entitled because of that and that they own while we rent.

So they've always trespassed in our yard the past few years, but it was every once in a while. And we didn't want to ruin a kid enjoying the outdoors. Well, since the quarantine it's been every damn day for hours. Which again, we tried to just put up with. But then the kid starts the death-shrieks. And that is very disturbing. And then they start hitting the house.

So I want to talk with them about not playing in our yard, but thanks to social distancing, a text will have to do. Well, the adult/parent threw an absolute fit and personally attacked me and accused me of damaging their property in the past but they were "too nice to say anything."

I just cannot believe it. They trespass, and we assert our rights....and they say I'm the asshole. So...am I? ######

Response: NTA. Call the cops next time it happens. ######


Prompt:
I live in a pretty good neighborhood, all is well and the neighbors are chill except for my next door ones. They are an autistic family (not using this against them, just for details) and they have to stay home all day so they often go out into their yard, which is right next to my house which is placed farther back than theirs.
Today I had my small white bird outside and it was pretty hot, so I offered him a strawberry and some of it stained his feathers. Their youngest child saw my birds feathers stained red around the mouth and ran to the father, who immediately ran over and started screaming at me and saying I was scaring his child, that I was “promoting violence”. I was confused so I had asked him what he meant and he said “Your bird looks disturbing” to which I responded that he’d just had a strawberry. The father said “Well you shouldn’t have your bird out near my kids”. (I was on MY property. He was the one attempting to climb the fence). AITA??? My bird is small and harmless.
Edit: For background info (because I know this sounds bizarre) the family (mostly the father) likes to accuse myself and my family of trying to harm their kids
(Ex: told kid to stop running in front of our car when we pulled out, father insisted we were threatening to run over his kids,  mother instructed her child to run up to our elderly family member in attempt to touch her, we told the parent to make sure their children were keeping distance (covid) and she told us we were being prejudiced against autistic people) ######

Response: NTA. Call the cops and get these interactions on record. Later with enough evidence you can make a case and get a no contact order. ######


Prompt: So hear me(M37) out here on this issue with a family member. My wife and I have two kids who are 2 and under. This family member has the same thing but one of her kid has some health issues. Their little girl has a G-tube and some breathing problems that seems to be getting better. Every time my wife and I do stuff with our kids and wife posts it on social media, family member would comment with stuff like: " Imagine doing that with two kids and one with issues" or "Try getting out of the house in the morning with the oxygen tank, etc..." Or if we are together and kid is doing something that her other one can't she'll mention "Could we not have your kid do that so that mine won't want to do it?" I think the other day was the last straw because my wife posted a picture of our kids at my parent's house with their Grandma because we both had to work(no WFH option for us) and she made a post about how because her kid has health issues and can't see their grandparents (because of what's happening) so people shouldn't be posting things like that. It feels like she's using her kid's health problems to make backhanded comments or us feel bad about doing things. So Reddit, WIBTA if I call her out on that? ######

Response: NTA. CALL HER OUT. My son has limitations but I'd never use them to shame anyone else. If they need help they can ask for it but it's not free reign to be an ahole. ######


Prompt:
Backstory here: I'm Indian, so I wear saris basically everywhere because my parents are really strict about my heritage. Second, I have eczema, so my lower body is covered with scratches, dry skin and scales, and the sari helps cover it up.

So, I'm at my Indian-American cousin (male) to a beautiful American woman's (who we'll call Laura) wedding. Its in India so I pack mostly saris, lehengas and one maxi gown with stockings. (There are a lot of events: mehendi, haldi, thaledivasum, madhereveppu, wedding rehearsal, after party, evening party, two receptions, the ceremony, etc)
So for the haldi, I'm wearing a yellow net sari, which mostly everyone wears for haldi (because they smear turmeric on the bride and the women)
To my shock, the guests were mostly American women wearing short dresses. The bride pulls me aside and asks me to change because she felt MY dress was too gaudy, and hands me a short dress with a diamond pattern. See, I wouldn't have been averse to changing if she had given me a longer dress, but she gave a mini dress which showed off my legs, which were covered in scars, scales, scratches, etc. So, I refused, but I told her that if she could find me a longer dress I would change. She told me I was a bitch for dressing up like that for a haldi, as it obviously was too extravagant for small events.
I left, and that night I was called by a lot of the bride's family members and friends (don't know how they got my number) and told me I was an asshole and things like that because I wouldn't change after the bride had very politely given me a dress and asked me to change, and accused me of trying to upstage her.
So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. By American standards, saris are pretty extravagant dresses, but she should've put some thought into Indian heritage if she was holding an Indian wedding in India... ######


Prompt:
I've been fairly overweight to moderately overweight my entire life. Until my accident, I was struggling to stay under 200 pounds. I was asked to be a bridesmaid for my friend's wedding, where all the other bridesmaids are moderately overweight to obese. The bride is what I would consider an average weight.

I got into a car accident 7 months ago. As a result, my entire torso got jacked up. The doctors had a LOT of work fixing me, and in doing so had to perform a very similar procedure to a gastric bypass. It was a rough recovery but I'm healthy now. I literally can't eat as much as I would like to. As a result of this and the recovery process, I ended up at 120 pounds, and I had to work to get to 130 pounds. It's going to be incredibly hard to maintain my current weight or gain any.

The only part of my body that didn't shrink is my boobs. Now I have 36D boobs on an otherwise thin frame. I look... ridiculous. I look photoshopped. My body isn't something that is naturally possible. It's hard to find clothes that look good. My old style no longer works and I had to completely find a new style, but my new clothes are working for me.

I've started getting more confident. I've posted pictures of myself in new outfits and have bought a new bridesmaid dress that actually fits me. I'm getting some positive comments, but I'm also getting really mean ones. They're saying that I'm encouraging unrealistic body standards/eating disorders, and making people feel bad that they can't look like something that isn't possible.

My friend that's getting married has cried to me that she feels pressure to lose even more weight for her wedding because "I'll look so much better than her". I don't know if I'm doing something wrong here. I'm just trying to get used to my new body and get more confident. ######

Response:
 NTA. But, I'm going to ask you to consider how you speak about your body. I have 34H breasts, naturally, and I'm not much bigger than you weight wise. I'm also very petite and short. So this statement was a bit rough to read:

>I look... ridiculous. I look photoshopped. My body isn't something that is naturally possible.

This is a big change for you, I get that. But try to be kind to yourself. ######


Prompt:
So my friend rents a room in my house. The woman he had slept with a few times calls him up and says she just found out she's four months pregnant.

He very suddenly moved her into his room. They go to PP to get an abortion and she tells him she got an ultrasound and she is actually 7 months and can't get an abortion.

Here are some red flags:

She showed up when she was getting evicted from her place.

She has no job and no car.

She holds her stomach area, not her uterus area.

As soon as she was told she's pregnant she started having morning sickness. (3rd trimester)

No one has seen any pregnancy test or the ultrasound.

She looks incredibly small for someone who wasn't exactly skinny before.

Doesn't waddle.

Doesn't look remotely uncomfortable.

Refuses to take prenatal vitamins because she said they'll make her fat.

Hasn't seen a doctor yet.

She takes his money and goes shopping all day.

Am I the asshole for asking for proof that she's pregnant before letting her stay here?

I feel like my friend is being taken advantage of here. I don't agree with her decision to not give the baby up for adoption*, but I want to be supportive.

*to be clear neither one of them want the baby at all, but she is benefitting from keeping it. ######

Response: NTA. But, are you ready to have a couple and an infant living with you? The dynamic is about to change drastically, if she isn’t lying. You’d have every right to ask them to find a new place, say within a month. I understand your concern as that is your friend. Not showing the ultrasound to the father... biggest red flag. Not wanting to take prenatals is ridiculous. The baby is sucking everything it needs from you, those are just to replenish that and make sure you have everything the baby needs. They do not make you fat. ######


Prompt:
Unfortunately, my bird died peacefully from old age in the last month. I had been expecting this for a couple of weeks but I was still devastated. Now, this was my own bird. I paid for her myself, fed her with my other birds every day, and paid attention to her every day as well.  My sister has never been interested in our birds other than looking at the cage every so often when she goes outside. She also blamed me for her bird's death which happened last year even though she never paid attention to it and I did all the care for it, she just looked at it even though it was her responsibility.

Anyway, throughout the day she kept randomly mentioning my bird's name at random times and making jokes about her death. Like we were just having a normal conversation and she said my bird's nickname in a mocking voice, this was a little bit ago so I don't remember the exact conversation, but it went something like that son I told her to shut up.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. But your sister is behaving like one, with no empathy for your grief. Beloved pets are important to the owner and their loss can be a deep grief. I'm sending you compassion from afar. ######


Prompt:
We're not legally married but we have been together for more than five years. He's a combat veteran. He gas lights, uses circular logic, manipulation, and insults. We had a blow up last night. He insulted me, calls me worthless screams about the things he does for me and our baby. He apologized but says that in the heat of the moment he should be allowed to get a free pass on the things he says. He doesn't give me the same pass. Besides, I have more restraint than him.

I want to work at least part time. We have a five month old. He says I can't because I would be working at an entry level position where it wouldn't be feasible or rational because child care would cost as much as I make. I ask him if there is anything wrong with him taking the baby while I work. He says he works, he owns his own business and makes his own hours.

I tell him that what he is doing to me is abuse. That if he is telling me that I can't have a job he can't hold it over my head. That he can't scream at me during an argument about how much he works and pays to take care of us. I tell him that he can't appreciate all of the work I do around the house and that I have the baby most of the time then tell me that I am worthless and don't contribute.

He says he's not stopping me from working. I try to explain to him that when he says I can't do something it does mean that he is stopping me.

He says that he isn't an abuser and that me saying that he is really hurts him. I feel bad. I didn't scream it but I did say it because I was trying to get him to stop and realize what he does. I know it's a hurtful statement. He says he deserves an apology but I don't think I need to give him one. He won't go to counseling. I know he has PTSD, I know that his training, MOS, taught him to employ some of these tactics in order to get results. ######

Response: NTA. But you should seriously start a plan to leave. ######


Prompt:
To paint the picture it's a first generation ipad, which basically has no support for any of their apps anymore including YouTube and most of the app-store apps. The main thing that they can be used for is internet surfing but even then they don't have much proccessing power to load modern websites which take so much power.

I made a reference to this in the description saying that people think they are bricks in 2020 but ive been using it for Spotify which is pre-downloaded. It's not like I'm selling a broken iPad. It can be used as a music hub or even something for a computer enthusiast to jailbreak or whatever they want.

The seller is requesting a return of the item based upon the fact that she can't run YouTube on safari and so they have decided it's broken.

I have tried to explain that if they had done the slightest bit of research on google then they'd have found that they should be buying atleast the second generation iPad which still supports YouTube. I've also offered to send her links to the huge amount of videos on YouTube which go over what they can still be used for and what they can't be used for.

If the response is NTA Ill continue to stand my ground, but I'm being the asshole then I'll issue the refund. I need all of your opinions please ######

Response: NTA. but you should check eBay's rules about return of products, I know that some selling sites have as a rule that the buyer can return after regretted the purchase. ######


Prompt:
My older brother (40’s) is an artist and is a cartoonist that used to do a lot of stuff for nickelodeon and similar back in the day.

He’s made ok money from it (defo not rich or famous) but my Asian dad act like he’s gods gift and so he has this really irritating habit of playing up the fact he’s a cartoonist because our parents bust it out like he’s some rare Picasso.

Anyway I have a journal that I use for weekly planning but it has a space opposite each page that you can use to either junk journal, craft, add to do notes, whatever.

I don’t especially have anything private in there and it sits in my purse which is always open since it doesn’t have a zip.

My bro decided to pluck out my journal because my mom was bragging that I do little sketches sometimes in there and he decided to do a watercolor painting in my journal on a random page of fucking spongebob of all the things which DOES NOT fit the aesthetic of my journal at all.

I didn’t know this happened and when I came down to eat noticed only cuz my journal was open drying. I was like wtf.

I grew irritated only cuz I spend a lot of money buying sticker kits for my journal and this dumb painting is really wtf. I asked him to reimburse me for ruining my journal as I don’t consider it art and he laughed at me and told me to get over myself in the most smug way possible.

I called him a cunt and my dad immediately started yelling at me and it sparked a big argument. Thankfully my mom was on my side but she too thinks I’m making a big deal of this.

Btw I’m a teenager, my bro is my dads from my first marriage if anyone is wondering. ######

Response: NTA. But you need to learn better interpersonal skills and how to voice and communicate displeasure in a more adult way. Since you’re not an adult yet, you’re NTA but hopefully you start looking into improving these things. ######


Prompt: My mom sent me a video on Facebook known as the "plandemic" video. Basically this video has unproven claims about Dr. Anthony Fauci and the handling of the Covid-19 pandemic. I went to the YouTube channel and saw many other "conspiracy" videos such as how 5G can cause cancer. I decided to report the YouTube channel for being misleading and it got taken down today. At Mother's Day dinner (of all times and places), I brought up how the channel got shut down. She says that I was disrespectful for reporting the channel and that I am essentially her censor. I, however, don't find anything wrong with my actions as these conspiracy theories can be really harmful. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: Nta. But you didn't have to tell her it was you ######


Prompt:
AITA

Two years ago some friends (a couple) approached me and asked me if I would be willing to clean their apt in exchange for a headshot session.  The husband was a photographer, I’d seen his work, I was fine with this agreement.  I spent about 20hrs cleaning their apt (I have videos of progress using my steam cleaner, before and after pics, etc.). They moved away, but the husband promised he’d be back at least once a month for other photography gigs, so our headshot session “would get done.”  He never came back.  They moved out of state.  I reached out several times asking to come to an agreement on a $ amount instead.  I was ignored.  Now, they got divorced and don’t speak to one another.  The wife is now telling me she had nothing to do with it and I should have said something sooner.  Am I the asshole here?! I’m pretty sure they are!  And I’d freaking sue if I had their new addresses.  But seriously, is it possible I’m the asshole?!? ######

Response: NTA. But you ain’t never seeing that money :/ ######


Prompt:
I'll keep this short and use fake names. Also I'm not a native English speaker, so I apologize in advance for any mistake.

Lily Jones (F27) is my best friend since pre-school. I've known her family since I was 5 years old. Her mom Linda (F51), her dad Joe (F53) and her two younger siblings. As far as I knew her parents were happily married and Lily adores both of them. Joe is a professor in a university.

A couple of days ago, a co-worker (F32) put a picture of her and her parents in her whatsapp status with a short message about being her parents wedding anniversary. I was surprise to see that was Joe, aka Lily's dad but the wife in the picture was not Linda. I thought this may be a mistake, or just someone who looked an awful lot like him. So I message my co-worker and asked something like "Your dad looks familiar, by any chance is he professor Joe Jones that works in x university, I think I attended one of his conferences" and she confirmed it.

As far as I know (and I've known her since I was 5) Lily doesn't know she has any older sister or that her dad has any other family. And as far as I know her parents are married, so I'm really confused right now.

I screenshot the conversation with my co-worker and her whatsapp status but I've been on the fence about sending this to Lily. Would I be the asshole if I send her this? ######

Response: NTA. But talk to the coworker as well. See if she knows to she deserves to know just as much, and if you can offer to get them together if they both want it. I have a brother who has no idea I'm his sister, and a sister I've never met, both suck. ######


Prompt:
Obligatory backstory: my parents are divorced, me and my brother are respectively 21 and 24. My mom remarried a guy with only adult children (like in their 30s), and my dad is about to marry a woman with many children between the ages of 5-15.

I'm getting married in the fall, so I'm in the process of packing up my childhood bedroom. I noticed my dad has gotten out a lot of my old books and toys for when his future step-kids visit. A lot of my books are very sentimental to me, as I adored reading growing up, and I hope to pass on my books to my kids one day. WIBTA to hide my childhood stuff so that I can get it back for my own kids in the future? I don't want my step siblings to get attached to something and then not be able to get it back when I try to reclaim it.

My mom says it's my right to control my stuff but my fiancé says it might be selfish, since I'm not actively using it right now. I'm really torn because I don't want to be the evil stepsister but I also don't want my dad to see his first kids' treasured items as something he can just give to his new family at his own disposal. ######

Response:
 NTA. But speak to your dad and tell him that you would like to keep the items you want to pass on, and let him give anything you don’t want to his stepkids.

If you hide things you don’t even want then that’d be you being TA. ######