Prompt:
I don't live in America, so tipping culture doesn't exist here. There are many reasons for this but the biggest would be that our minimum wage isn't ridiculously low like in America.

I'm a part-time worker who isn't a frivolous person, but today I received a promotion in the mail by Uber Eats for $15 off your first spend (I wouldn't have ordered otherwise). As normally, it's $20 +$10 delivery. But with this voucher code, it was a much more reasonable $15. So I lashed out and treated myself.

Anyway, long story short. The driver got the wrong house and didn't bother to verify anyone by name. He just handed it over to my next-door neighbour. It wasn't until I called up that I found this out. Generally, most take-outs would offer some compensation over such a gaffe. Now I'm not saying I expected one but I did observe that Uber Eats seems quite unique in this. But they ended up assigning me the same driver (which is perfectly fine).

When he arrived I had to stand outside my house and flag him down so he didn't miss me. And then he came up to me and said in the little English he knew, *''App yes?...''*. And smiled at me. I didn't know what he meant but it seemed pretty straightforward so I just nodded and said yes (I assumed he was asking for some kind of review as I think Uber does that). Which I was more than happy to do. So I smile and nodded. And then he said, *''Don't forget nice tip yes yes''*.

And now I'm kind of at a loss. I now feel guilty because I know the man wants a tip. But I also only did this because of the promotion. And I'm also shocked by the audacity of him out-right asking for a tip... But I don't know. I guess I'll just leave it with you guys.

Am I an asshole if I don't tip this man? ######

Response: NTA at all, I’m also Australian and I feel like a lot of people responding don’t really get that tipping is basically not a thing here, except for some specific circumstances. I personally will tip my delivery drivers and whatnot if they do a good job and are friendly and nice, but this guy already messed up your order so definitely no need to tip. ######


Prompt:
So my mom and I share my YouTube account on our TV. However, I find it rather annoying and would prefer to keep it all to myself. Not because I have anything to hide, but it's just nice to me. It's nice not to have your recommendations butchered by other people's viewing habits, it's nice not to have your watch history clogged up by things somebody else has watched, and it's just nice to have something of your own, you know?

I told her I could *easily* set up her own profile in 5 minutes where she can watch whatever she want whenever she wants on her *own* account. She refused, though, because apparently that's "too much of a hassle" and "oh, you want to take away the last thing that we have together?" (which is both bullshit, by the way), and after an entire argument she finally decided to "let me set up her account on the 1st of August"

Now, I am wondering, am I the asshole for requesting that she stops using my account, and that I'll help her get her own account, instead? We came to a compromise I *guess*, and of course it is not the end of the world if we share an account but she kept insisting I am being cruel and rude for this. ######

Response: NTA at all, and you're not obligated to do this, but maybe find something to do together instead? Just to 'soften the blow' of the account. ######


Prompt:
I’m gonna keep this short because I’m getting madder by the second.

So me and my boyfriend plan to move in together after New Years. We both live at home with our families right now and we’re just too old for this and need our privacy. The big problem per the title is that his high school age sister has a dog that she got last year. Now I advised them that she shouldn’t get a dog because she’s always out with friends and will be going to college in 2 years anyways and won’t be able to take him since she’ll be so busy.

Now fast forward to now and he’s telling me in-a-matter-of-fact way that he is going to take over the dog when she leaves for college next year, when we will be living together. I do not want a dog. I don’t want to pay the deposit on having a dog at the apartment. I have had a dog my entire life and I know they cost time and money that we won’t have. Mostly him because he works long hours and all the responsibilities will fall on me. Neither of them are experienced pet owners. He’s a big dog, which I had from experience and I loved them but it kinda sucks. He’s also loud every time someone moves. I’m mad. I’m mad that this was just decided upon and I’m supposed to go along with it. I want to tell him that I don’t want to live with him if he’s bringing this dog that was never my responsibility to begin with. Is that rude?

Like I get it’s his sister’s dog and he doesn’t want the dog to be alone but there’s 3 more people in the house who can take care of him, who currently take care of him! He just volunteered! ######

Response: NTA at all, and its good this tendency to make decisions on your behalf was revealed before you were living together. Consider this a bullet dodged and move on. ######


Prompt:
My parents are divorced. They've really been fighting a lot, and they fight a lot about material possessions.

Try and one up each other getting me things, but also try to force me to leave them behind when I go to the other's houses, like they want their houses to be the best ones with the best things. Argue if I come home from the others house with things dirty or misplaced accusing the other of purposely stealing or destroying things.

It's ridiculous and it seems like a power play between them. And I'm sick of fighting over THINGS. Damn pieces of plastic or metal or whatever should not have this power over us.

So I told both my parents that THINGS that they fight about don't bring me happiness, they bring me sadness. And if there's any fighting or petty anger about a thing, I'm gonna give it away or throw it away because I'm sick of my life being ruled by stuff.

I won't take gifts anymore because they always come with terms and drama

And I have been doing it. I've gotten rid of most of what I own because of this pettiness. I really just have the bare minimum at each house. Both my parents had banned me from giving or throwing anything else away so now I've just picked a closet in each house that things go into, and once they're in they don't come out. If my parents try and take them out I put them back.

It's made me happier. No more fights about which parent "stole" a thing when that thing is gone. I don't have to remember as much about what I can take from house to house and what has to stay at one house so I won't start a fight

But both my parents are resentful of me for my switch in attitude. My mom is mad that I don't do some of my hobbies anymore and my dad is mad that I gave away things that he paid for.

AITA for giving up as many possessions as I can? ######

Response:
 NTA at all, and I'm so sorry that your parents are using you as a weapon against each other.

They absolutely need to figure their issues out without taking them out on you. Are they or you in counseling? ######


Prompt:
I was engaging in a casual debate with one of my fiancée’s friends. He just mentioned with Hartley Sawyer situation that people should be absolutely held accountable to anything they said, even if it was long ago and during a different time.

I disagreed with him respectfully, but he just outright said that there is absolutely no exception. So, you know what I had to do.

I scoured through his entire twitter account and made a program that would detect a bunch of whitelisted words. I found one where he uses the word “faggot” to refer to one of his friends. Keep in mind, he was probably 14 when he posted that. I just sent him the message, and suddenly he got all pissed and said that I shouldn’t scour though his messages and that I’m being a pompous ass.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA at all fuck these time traveling bozos ! How is anyone supposed to change if the fucking world won’t let them!?! ######


Prompt:
So I (26M) ate something bad last night and had to spend a majority of the evening and this morning in the bathroom because I was sick. My girlfriend (24F) came and stayed over this weekend because it had been a while since we saw each other. As I mentioned above I had to spend a majority of the morning in the bathroom because I literally cant stop going, my insides feel like they are tearing each other apart. She decided to leave earlier than planned because "she was bored" and was just "sitting around with her thumb up her ass" while I was having an exorcism out of mine. Now shes angry at me because of that and because she felt bored when I was feeling sick and had to stay in the bathroom. AITA for not sucking it up and spending time with her?

Tl;dr Girlfriend left early because she was "bored" because I had to spend the morning in the bathroom due to eating something bad. ######

Response: Nta at all but when someone shows you who they are believe them! ######


Prompt:
Me and my fiancé live in small neighborhood and we have three dogs. We’ve never really been friendly with our across the street neighbors, apart from the occasional smile and wave when we see them outside.

Last night they did fireworks for about 2 or 3 hours in the road in front of their yard. Me and my fiancé sat on our porch and watch for a bit before quickly realizing they were shooting them directly at our house. A piece of debris landed less than a foot in front of my fiancé . We literally HEARD THEM acknowledge that they were landing in our yard, so we just assumed that they would pick them up when finished. We ended up going inside because everything was landing too close for comfort.

When I got off work today I found that they had completely cleaned up THEIR yard, but our yard was full of trash. There were at least 6 bottle rockets spread from the front yard, across the porch, and the backyard. 5-6 smoke bombs had been rolled into our yard. Multiple pieces of debris and leftover pieces with gunpowder scattered across our yard. We have three dogs, one of which has already had an exploratory surgery for eating garbage. Any of those things easily could have killed our dogs. I was livid.

I grabbed a grocery bag and picked up all the trash out of my yard (half a grocery bag full of garbage ), stapled a note to it, and placed it back in their yard next to the trash bags of their trash. The note read:

“Please do not shoot fireworks into our yard and then leave your trash. Our dogs could get seriously sick if they are any of this. This is all trash I picked up out of my yard from your fireworks. Next time aim them at your own house or pick up your trash when finished. Thank you”.

They ripped the note off , crumbled it up and shoved it into our mailbox.

Am I the asshole here? I mean I’ll admit it’s petty, but it’s pretty trashy (no pun intended ) to leave your neighbors yard full of trash.

For clarification: these were the neighbors across the street. ######

Response: NTA at all and those people are trash. Plain and simple. ######


Prompt:
I'm going on a six month deployment with the military and will be exiting my current lease with roommates.  This is something I have been planning so I can save money while I am away and have storage figured out with my family for the items I will be keeping.

&#x200B;

My girlfriend has been having worries about her roommate moving out as she only comes home maybe once a week.  The roommate has been staying at her boyfriends house and only comes home when my girlfriend works a night shift.  She has also been pressuring her boyfriend for marriage.  This has led her to believe marriage may be soon and the roommate will move out.

&#x200B;

When I return I would like to have as much money saved as possible and purchase a home.  Recently my girlfriend asked what I would do if her roommate moved out.  This question caught me off guard and I asked what she meant.  The gist of it is that she is unwilling to get another roommate, but would like to stay there by herself.  She can't afford rent on her own and asked for me to help pay.  The logic is that I will no longer be paying rent so I can help her out.

&#x200B;

Before I leave I had asked if I could stay at her house for about 3 weeks before my orders begin.  Both her and her roommate are fine with this although it will be tight.  During this period I've said I would pay my share and contribute any way I could.  They both shrugged it off at the time and didn't seem concerned.

&#x200B;

We've been together 3 years with a breakup after the first year.  She is amazing and I would like to help her if possible.  If it comes down to it and she can't afford rent then I wouldn't let her go homeless.  She has a large savings fund, has the ability to move, and could find another roommate for six months while I'm gone.

&#x200B;

I think it's unreasonable for her to not make an effort and expect me to pay but AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA at all - she wants you to pay for rent when you're not there just so she can live above her means? Oh hell no

Also, beautiful formatting - thank you ######


Prompt:
So I’m an eighteen year old girl and deathly single, so I have absolutely zero intention of marriage anytime soon but I ended up talking to my dad about marriage anyway a few days ago. He ends up saying something along the lines of “They’ll have to be good enough for me to give permission,”

Let me assure you, I didn’t flip out or anything here but my reply was “I’d hope my future spouse would know well enough that I don’t want them to ask your permission. I’m a grown woman who can make her own decisions and I’m not to be bartered away like a farm animal in an outdated, sexist tradition.” I also mentioned that I certainly won’t be ‘given away’ at my wedding either, because again, I’m not property.

Well, he totally flipped out. He said that it’s not sexist and he raised me my whole life he deserves to take part in these traditions because it’s his right as a father. I told him that I do want him to be a part of my future wedding, but not in the traditional sexist ways. Should I just suck it up and go through with the traditions that repulse me for his sake, or am I right to reject them?

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA at all - it can be a fun tradition, as long as everyone involved agrees but demanding it is just wrong.

Does he also expect you to ask your partner's father for approval or will this be settled by a duel? ######


Prompt:
So my mom remarried when i was 12 although my step father is okay but he has his moments and my mom fully enables him . They have a son now who is three.

My step father turned vegan 6 months ago and so is my mom now. I used to think that i dont like vegan food and is not for me and because i started a job with the help of my friend's dad in the country club, i make a decent amount of money for 16 year old.

 When they turned vegan i started getting my own food. I pretty much started to feed myself and also started saving. I used to get take out alot and stopped eating with them because i genuinely don't like being around them.

My step father turned pretty nasty when he saw i had started earning and asked for rent. My mom shut that down thank god because the house belongs to my late father and I will fully own it once i turn 18. So he can't charge me rent i pointed out that since this house is still technically in my name shouldn't he be the one paying rent to me. He lost it. Started berating me and forbade me to ever eat meat in the house. My mom told me to just do what he says in fear of this turning ugly.

So i started eating the vegan food with them and actually enjoyed and i could save a lot by eating at home too. This has caused problem with the step father because now they have to feed me too so he said that he's sure i have learned my lesson and i can start eating whatever i want since that would mean they won't have to pay for it. I told them that i actually liked eating vegan and won't be touching meat now.

Well he started yelling about how i am selfish when i can afford it and not doing it , my mom is also taking his side but she said she won't stop me from eating vegan food with them but i should really think this

So reddit aita? ######

Response: NTA At 16 your parents should be paying for all necessities for you, including home and food, even if you have a job. Your dad sounds like a bully and your mom a pushover. ######


Prompt:
In typical Asian parenting fashion, my mother has always expected me to spend my entire life with her and support her when she gets older.  It wasn't until my senior year of high school when I was applying for college that I finally stood up for myself.  Soon as she found out that I wanted to live on campus, she started yelling and crying about how ungrateful I am and how much she loved me.  Unfortunately, I couldn't handle it and caved in.  So I commuted for all 4 years of college.

I worked really hard in school so I could get a job after graduating and finally move out.  But my junior year, my father got very sick and passed away.  We had to sell our house and move into an apartment.  My mom had not had a job for like 10 years so she was really struggling to support us and we had to live on the money we made from the house.

After graduating, I got an internship about 3 hours away and surprisingly she supported me in moving into temporary housing for the summer.  Soon as the internship ended, I got a job.  My cousin and I started talking about moving in together since she was also looking to leave her home.

My mom started yelling and crying again and she said some really horrible things to me that I don't want to mention. I caved again and agreed to live with her for a few months to help her get settled.

It's been almost 8 months and she still doesn't have a job and her money is running out.  I feel really guilty for wanting to leave her like this but I also just want live my life. ######

Response: NTA Asian here and went through the same thing with my mom. What I realized now is that I definitely could have moved out 10 years ago right after college because my parents definitely not need me then. But I was guilted into believing that they did so I stayed. But 10 years later (now) they actually do need me so I’m angry at myself for not moving out when I had the chance. So learn from my mistake, OP. Whenever Asian parents say that they can’t live without you, don’t believe them. They actually can if they’re in their 50s and early 60s. If they survived war and poverty in their home country and immigrated to this racist AF country and somehow make it, they can definitely live without you for a good decade. Rule of thumb: you don’t need to be with your parents until they’re close to being in their 70s. ######


Prompt:
Hi reddit, I(23m) am a cosplayer, and i attend many local events. Anyway, there was one cosplay that I did where I was a woman(Brazil Escola), and I wore a ton of makeup and a wig. Because i already look pretty feminine, I looked almost like a woman.

I eventually saw my friend(24f), who didn’t recognize me at first, and i didn’t know that she was going to be here today. She told me that cosplaying as a woman was disrespectful and that that I shouldn’t have done that. I told her that she needs to stop being sensitive and i’m not doing anything wrong. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA as long as you weren’t doing stupid/harmful things dressed like that go for it! Cosplay is for everyone of all sizes and genders. That’s like saying I can’t cosplay as a zombie because I’m not a zombie. The whole point of cosplay is to dress up as something/someone you’re not. Keep up the great work! ######


Prompt:
My brother moved in with us (me,wife,7 yr old) in mid January. He's just turned 20 a few days ago. He was in a bad situation and we agreed he could stay till he starts university in September. Doesn't cost us much extra for him to be here, mortgage, internet, water are all a fixed charge. So told him he would have to pay gas/electric when the quarterly bill arrived he can pay the difference. We've fed him until recently so it's cost him £0 for groceries since mid Jan. Since then we have obviously had the virus and at the start he went to his sister's for dinner and I told him it's not acceptable to us to risk our daughters health (she has a undiagnosed epilepsy and is on disabled register) and he has to either be sensible and isolate as much as is possible or move out. He recently started a job, even though he's currently getting furlough (around £180 a month but he literally lives for free) and since starting the job he's been out to "have a kick around" with his 1 work colleague he works with. Today, he hasn't come home and messaged to say he's at his work mates house having a few beers.

Tomorrow, he's getting told to leave and I'll be giving him his immediately needed stuff and I'll drop the rest off when I can.

I don't know if he will have anywhere to go, but I'm not risking my 7yo for him.

Am I being overly cautious? We have a very low infection rate, around 100 known cases in 60,000 ######

Response: NTA as long as you gave him multiple warnings ######


Prompt: Alright so, my vegan cousins are visiting from California in June, and before you object, we live on a rural farm and they're following all hygiene protocols when traveling so virus transmission is slim to none. But anyway, since we live on a farm, there's a lake on the land we own and I like to go fishing there every once in a while. Now, I've told them this so they know, but they've said stuff like, "If you fish, we're not coming", and "You abuse fish by fishing". The thing is, I stop after I catch one fish, and I only do it like 3 times a week, so it's not like I'm poaching an elephant every day. So yeah, AITA for fishing while they're here? ######

Response:
 NTA As long as you don’t try to make them fish or make them eat the fish.

How long will they be there?  If it’s a short trip, you could voluntarily skip fishing for a while in the name of family harmony and being a good host. ######


Prompt:
I'm an Atheist, only my mother knows this and she hates talking about anything surrounding beliefs or her own, especially since I came out about my beliefs. She keeps her feelings about my beliefs tucked down deep.

Anyhow for context my grandmother is extremely religious, she's very much your typical old age thinking person.

Me and my mother were talking about a conversation i had with my father where he asked if I was fasting this Ramadan and I said no.

After that she told me not to tell my uncle I'm not fasting if he calls me since he lives with his mother (my grandmother) who he would likely tell since it would bother her.

I said no I'm not lying, you know me and who I am, if my grandmother can't handle the fact that I'm not fasting then so be it, that's her problem not mine.

WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA as long as you don’t bring it up unprompted, because this will cause some conflict. But if he asks, you would not be TA if you answered truthfully imo. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé’s dad provided for the majority of his life: house, clothes, condo, school, everything he needed. That being said, he was a horrible father. He would beat and abuse my fiancé and restrict him of a lot of freedom growing up. Once he made my fiancé sleep outside their house as a punishment and in turn he got the flu and had to be hospitalized. He even invalidated our relationship for a long time saying that “it will pass and you’ll regret ever getting married.”

Having heard all the stories and witnessed how uncomfortable my fiancé is whenever he’s around his dad, I decided to not invite him to our wedding (with the approval of my fiancé of course.)

As we were setting up the guest list, his mom noticed his dad isn’t there. I didn’t think this would matter because they’ve been separated for a while due to him cheating and housing a “sugar baby” in a condo for years. I thought she’d rather him not be there too, but apparently not because she told me that he’s family and that he should be at his son’s wedding.

She told this to her sisters and they all agreed that my fiancé’s father should be able to see him get married after “raising him to be the man that he is.” That it’s the least we can do for him seeing as he paid for my fiancé’s entire life until he became independent.

They knew this was my initial decision because my fiancé wouldn’t be brave enough to do it so they’re now calling me selfish and not recognizing my reasons for not inviting him. I don’t owe him anything, he will just make my fiancé feel terrible the whole time, and it’s OUR day. But I’m starting to see their point so IDK if I’m an asshole here or what.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA as long as it’s ultimately his decision not to have his dad there and not just yours. Also you need to be ok with the outcome being that most likely his dad will no longer be any part of his life since this is basically a message saying we don’t want you in our lives.
But if that is ok and you will be happier with him no longer around then I guess go for it and continue your lives without his negativity. ######


Prompt: I (17M) have lived with a severely autistic brother (18) for my entire life. He is nonverbal, self-injurious, aggressive, and needs a full time caretaker (currently my mother). My parents chose to become his legal guardians when he turned 18, and don’t seem to be considering grouphomes. They told me that I will eventually have to take him off their hands because they will be too old and frail to take care of him. I refused, saying that he is not my responsibility and they should start looking for a suitable grouphome to place him in because I’m not going to waste my life being a caretaker and wiping shit off someone’s ass. My parents got offended and said that caring for my brother would not be a waste, and I’m just being selfish. They later asked if I would at least be his advocate and communicate with a future grouphome and his doctors to make sure he is being treated correctly. I also said no, knowing that it would escalate into more responsibilities for me and that I do not want to be associated with him at all. They told me to give up my dream of becoming a doctor if I can’t even care for my family and that my grades are too low to be accepted anyways so I may as well be looking out for him. I have bipolar disorder myself and am super irresponsible even with the things that I care deeply about. I can’t stand my brother at all. He drives everyone in this house crazy with his aggression, and it’s honestly insulting that my parents think they can just throw that responsibility on ME. They call me an asshole for not loving him and not wanting to release them from this burden. I work at a fast food restaurant and make more money than my mom does for attendant care. Even if reddit labels me as the asshole here, I am not going to be taking care of him. ######

Response:
 NTA as harsh as your words are it's not your responsibility and you have to live your own life. It's a HUGE responsibility and even if you were 100% up for it at the get go it would be extremely difficult. It sucks that he's disabled it really does but it shouldn't be a life sentence for you too.

I'll probably be in the minority here so SMASH THAT DOWN VOTE BUTTON ! ######


Prompt:
I was married to Jason for thirteen years and we shared two children, Hannah is twelve and Noah is nine. Our marriage ended rather abruptly but it didn’t come as a big surprise. We hadn’t been happy for years.

Jason began dating Emily who is fifteen years his junior shortly after the divorce. They’ve been married now for three years and she’s thirty so it’s not like he married some college kid but I still have an issue with her lack of maturity sometimes.

This was all very hard on Hannah. She doesn’t like Emily and is in counseling to deal with her jealousy towards her. The truth is I don’t like Emily very much either but I do expect my kids to be respectful.

Hannah came to me crying last night and told me that when she was at her dads this weekend she put Emily’s toothbrush in the toilet. I guess Jason found her doing this and he said it was really funny and to let him see the toothbrush. He scrubbed the toilet and I guess she thought they were going to prank Emily together but when he was done he told Hannah to brush her teeth with it.

Now I fully understand how wrong Hannah was but I can’t get the image of her crying and gagging while being forced to use the toothbrush out of my head. He then made her tell Emily what she had done and do chores to earn money to buy a new toothbrush. I’m fine with that but actually making her out it in her mouth pissed me off.

I’ll admit I don’t know if this was all about Hannah. Jason’s been a different person since he met Emily and it’s hard to watch him fawn over his gorgeous thirty year old wife. I called at one in the morning and I could tell I woke him and I went off on him. I told him how selfish he is and how he puts Emily before our kids. Still I feel like some of this was motivated by my own feelings so AITA? ######

Response: NTA As a mandated reporter, I promise you that this punishment was abusive. If I were to actually know you or your child I'd have a legal and moral obligation to report it. This was so over the line. I think in the future that family counseling with Hannah and Emily may be worthwhile to try, separate from both parents. I'm so sorry that your ex thought this was an appropriate thing to do. As a parent myself, I'd also be overwhelmingly furious if that happened to my child. ######


Prompt:
So my girlfriend and I live together, and my sister is staying with me mostly against my will, because otherwise she would be homeless and I can’t really in good conscious do that.

My sister used to be bulimic and anorexic, she’s mostly better now. She still eats kind of slow but other than that seems fine.

Today my girlfriend was wearing this cute dress even though she can’t go anywhere so I told her she looked nice. We were in the kitchen and my sister was in the living room with the tv on, so in earshot but it shouldn’t have been all up in her face. I gave her(my girlfriend) a kiss and she complimented me, then I went on with my day and went back to work.

After dinner my sister told me that she rather I not compliment my girlfriend in front of her and said it makes her feel bad. I think this is pushing the envelope on what I’m willing to give in to body issues. When I was a teenager I had to eat in my room so she wouldn’t see me eating, and I had to never talk about weight, which while annoying was slightly understandable. But I’m not going to walk my girlfriend into our bedroom, compliment her, then walk back.

I told my sister that while I feel bad that it upsets her I’m not going to stop complimenting my girlfriend. If she has a problem with innocuous conversation she can stay in her bedroom. She got mad and said that I didn’t care about her body issues.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA as a fellow eating disorder sufferer, I can sympathize with your sister and I hope she continues to get better physically. But theres a huge line shes crossing there. I understand it probably hurt but as a lot of other people have said shes not going to be able to live her life avoiding her triggers entirely. ######


Prompt:
I recently moved in with my boyfriend, he is 6ft or taller while I'm 5'1, since I moved into his place everything is arranged to the way he likes, everything necessary is on the top shelf in the kitchen.

I took catering which means I am the better cook out of the two of us (although he cooks the best cookies) which means I'm the one in the kitchen but a majority of the time I need something I have to either climb on a chair or the sides to get the stuff out of the cupboard, I've slipped several times now thanks to our dog jumping up.

I absolutely hate doing this.

I've talked to him about rearranging and he's always put it off.

I rearranged it since I'm the one who does the cooking it shouldn't be a problem? I mean I've lived here for 8 months now and the only thing that's mine in the flat is like a candle and he hates it so its never lit.

He threw a tantrum and told me I shouldn't have rearranged his things and how out of order it was etc, how he had it set up the way he liked and it's been that way for 4 years.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA Are you sure he really wants you to live there? ######


Prompt: Okay so I know the title sounds like I am the asshole here but hear me out. I have a walk in closet attached to my bathroom you have to go in the bathroom to get to the closet. Currently I moved my work stuff in the walk in (its HUGE) because I needed space I can work in quiet and the area has to be able to lock.  I don't mind being attached to the bathroom most of the time, its our master bathroom so no one really uses it but us. We do have another bathroom across the apartment that is perfectly usable. My boyfriend thinks I am ridiculous that when I am working I ask him to not poop in the bathroom ATTACHED TO THE CLOSET WHERE I HAVE TO WORK. Its not a big deal to go across the apartment and poop in the other one but it causes this BIG thing every time. A few minutes ago he goes to poop in the bathroom again and I reiterate that I don't want to work and have to sniff his shit the whole time and he tells me I am making it a bigger deal than it needs to be. I told him it was a big deal to me and I don't understand why he has to be selfish about it and not just use the other bathroom. He walked away this time shutting both doors and not pooping but I know he's mad I called him selfish about it. As ridiculous as this is, Reddit am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA are you secretly talking about a cat here?  This sounds like a litter box issue, because I can’t understand why a human would want to poop in the room directly next to you when there is another bathroom available. ######


Prompt:
My friend and l(both 18f) we were always a bit on the heavier side. We would get teased at school but it was nothing malicious. She would always take offence so l asked my classmates to stop it when she was around and they did.

All was well until graduation ( last year) when the girls of the class thought we should arrange a beach holiday for us girls. When we were alone(my friend and l)I joked that we should start getting beach body ready. She took the joke seriously and agreed.

So when 2020 started l changed up my diet and started exercising. The progress was slow but steady but it was paying off. Then when lockdown was in place l started up the old xbox 360 and continued with the routine. I am not at my goal but l am getting there.

Anyways, I was feeling proud of my progress so l put on my status how l may be beach body ready even though we aren't going to the beach.  She sees this and gets mad.

She says l have betrayed her and we agreed to do this together and accused me of hating my body etc things of that nature.

I felt guilty about not informing her but I thought l am not in the wrong.

Reddit, do you agree? ######

Response: NTA anyone waiting for someone else to start before they do something is looking for an excuse not to start. She could have taken the initiative at any point in her life to make the jump to becoming what she claims she wants to be. She's mad that you actually took the steps and are progressing. It makes her look bad because now she's alone in the bigger side of weight. Now instead of trying to better herself she's trying to tear you down because it's easier than having to do the work. If she can't get over it then you can move on with your life. You don't need people like that in your life. ######


Prompt:
This has been bothering me for a while now,

But in short one of my subordinates who is also a good buddy of mine, told me about his intentions of turning his “lifelong dream” into reality, which is basically getting his wife pregnant by another man and raise it as his -he isn’t infertile or anything-, I was horrified when I heard this,and I explained how horrible of an idea this was and that children aren’t means of sexual satisfaction for him and his wife.

And another hour of back and forth talking and arguing and this wasn’t his “lifelong dream” anymore but something he is hesitant about, I was happy with the result, and few days later asked him why his wife thought this was an acceptable thing he said something which mortified me even more apparently his “genetics were inferior” and didn’t deserve to be passed to another generation, at this point I had enough and invited him to my house and told him we should discuss this excessively and he agreed right away, at the end of our meeting he was convinced that this was indeed a terrible thought and I suggested divorcing his wife and he was so supportive of that.

He is filing for divorce but it has been delayed due to the pandemic, his wife knew I had a big part in their separation and she has been texting me rude messages every 2-3 days for months now.

Most people are telling me I helped my friend dodge a bullet but some people are also telling me this wasn’t my business and I  shouldn’t have opened my mouth.

So I’m not sure ######

Response:
 NTA and

>genetics were inferior

Eugenics went the way of the DoDo in 1945. ######


Prompt: So, just a little backstory. Throughout my entire childhood, my parents have always forced their way into knowing all my secrets. Whenever I refused at first, they would start taking away things I had like my book or playstation. Whenever I asked why their excuse was always, "Because I'm the parent and I say so." Because of this, I don't like telling them anything anymore. I always hide everything because I'm afraid they're gonna force their way into knowing. Recently, I told my dad about a girl I was talking because he didn't force his way into my secrets as much as my mom. When my mom caught word about something between us, she once again asked about it and got pissed off when I told her it was just between me and my dad. She said that my business is her business. This is one of the few times she doesn't force her way in because I already told my dad. I told her that I'm not going to tell her and my mom keeps getting pissed off that I'm not telling my safe guarded secrets. AITA for doing this? ######

Response: NTA and your parent's behavior  is super inappropriate and damaging. ######


Prompt: I (25f) have recently gotten engaged to my girlfriend (24f) and both of us are very excited. We have been dating since college and have a house and have adopted a child together. We are both very excited to get married and are planning on doing so as soon a Coronavirus is over. Recently I got some messages on Facebook from my family. Now, I’m not really that close with my family as when they found out that I was a lesbian they kicked me out and pretty much disowned me. They heard that I had gotten engaged from a family friend who I am still close with and messaged me asking why I hadn’t told them about my engagement, who was the lucky man and when was the wedding. I haven’t spoken to them for 6 years so I am very shocked that they reached out to me. I messaged them back saying that I’m engaged to a woman and that they could come as long as they didn’t make a fuss about me marrying a woman. They agreed and at the time I thought the discussion was over.   Yesterday my fiancé came crying to me and showed me the messages that she’d gotten. My family had found her on the internet and had sent her hateful messages saying that she’s a whore and she’s going to hell for marrying a woman. Naturally I was furious and immediately messaged them to tell them that they had no right to treat her in that way and that they should get their heads out of their asses and understand that I have every right to marry who I want to. The responses that I got to this were horrible and both me and my fiancé are very upset. I responded to them saying that they’re banned from the wedding until they start treating my fiancé with some respect. I got messages of my aunts and cousins saying that I’m being to harsh here and that I just need to suck it up. All my friends are in agreement with my cousins. AITA here? ######

Response: NTA and your friends suck too ######


Prompt:
The timeline on this one is kind of extended, sorry

October 2015 - Sister announces her engagement and sets the date for February 2017

January 2016 - my wife and I announce we're expecting a baby after 4 years of trying. We waited until after the first appointments so we could tell mother the due date - Sept 21. Now, our 6yo had been a month and a half early, and the doctor warned us it could very well be the case again, so we knew we probably wouldn't make it to the 21st. Sister immediately announces she's moved the wedding up to Sept 3rd, and the chaos ensues. My wife and I knew from the start if the wedding was so close to the due date, we probably wouldn't be able to make it. Neither Mother nor Sister handle this news well, and we argue for several months

July - mother agrees to take my daughter to the wedding and keep her over night so she can still be the flower girl.

August - Mother forgets this arrangement and says she and Dad want to party the night before so they didn't want to be responsible for a child. She told me I was expected to either stay the night, or drive out, drop her off the day of, and either drive back (4 hours round trip) or stay for the wedding. I told her my sister would unfortunately have no flower girl, as my wife is in prodromal labor and cannot make it to the bathroom without several contractions.

The week of the wedding, the entire family keeps blowing up my phone. Sister decided to make it an extended camping trip for the family and wedding party. My parents took 5 days off for the wedding, and spent that time trying a combination of yelling and guilt tripping to get me to go.

Sept 3 - the wedding proceeds and my wife and I are in the hospital (AGAIN) for a stress test because she has been having contractions for 3 hours. We hear nothing from the family.

Sept 7 - my wife is admitted into the hospital. The baby is born at 4:23am the next morning.

AITA for not attending the wedding without my wife? ######

Response: NTA and your entire family SUCK. Sorry you’re having to deal with them! ######


Prompt: I recently got a new job (past month) and my boss has two young toddlers who instantly became attached to me. They have a full time nanny, but because they like me so much they have started hanging out around the work place to “help” me. I don’t mind spending time with the kids and enjoy showing them how I do my job and letting them participate, and my boss has expressed how grateful she is for my patience with them and has started leaving me alone with both of them regularly during my work hours. Then yesterday out of the blue she sent me a pretty blunt text message telling me that she is not happy with my level of efficiency at work and that it, “Should not take four hours to do X amount of work.” I totally agree with her that it is taking me way too long to get work done, at my last job I would get almost 3 times the amount of work done in the same amount of time. I just feel like it’s completely unreasonable for her to expect me to work efficiently at my job when I’m also doing the job of her nanny and babysitting two young children/teaching them how to do everything.Am I being unreasonable? What do I even say to her next time I see her? I don’t know how to explain to her that I can’t work efficiently when I have to pace myself with a four-year-old. ######

Response: NTA and your boss' text gives you the perfect opportunity to point this out to her.  Reply "I agree.  As much as I enjoy spending time with \[kids' names\], it's not possible to watch them and work efficiently at the same time.  Let's talk tomorrow and you can let me know which one you'd like me to focus on." ######


Prompt:
I (M 21) am staying with my mom and her boyfriend (M 50) of 2 years at our family home.

This evening, I was being yelled at told “how wrong I am” and how bad my actions are because I simply forgot to put a kitchen appliance away in the cupboard. I usually put it away, but when I was waiting for it to dry, I forgot about it. It was an honest mistake and I genuinely forgot that I had used it. But I was being screamed at and felt like I was a criminal because I honestly forgot to do something. Me forgetting to put it away did not inconvenience anyone, nor did it impact anyone in any way, so I was genuinely confused. I then tried to defend myself by saying it was an honest mistake, but I was told “that’s not right” repeatedly, and that “we need to put things away to keep the house nice” by mom’s boyfriend.  This is where things further escalated. I said that I didn’t think it was a big deal to accidentally forget something, and pointed out that I cleaned my mom’s boyfriends lunch dishes that he left lying out for several hours after work one day, and that we all forget to put things away. According to my mom and boyfriend, this crossed a line and I am “selfish” for telling him that. In my mind, I was just defending myself and pointing out the hypocrisy, trying to show that I thought my mistake was a common mistake that didn’t warrant the scolding I received. Now, since we were all adults here, and my mom’s boyfriend is not responsible for me, I didn’t see any problem in our exchange. But according to them, I was undermining his authority and should never speak to him like that. I didn’t think what I said was mean or ill at all, I was just pointing out that what I did was very minor, and that other people, including my mom’s boyfriend, have done similar things recently. He is not my father, nor do we any relationship like that as I am an adult, and was when my mom started dating him. So, AITA for pointing out my mom’s boyfriend’s hypocrisy? ######

Response: NTA and you're honestly probably lucky she only started dating him when you were 19. It sounds like he enjoys the power more than the actual intent. Not putting away an appliance is not a reason for a screaming match. ######


Prompt:
So, to preface, I'm a guy who works as a bagger in a grocery store whose name rhymes with ogre. Management is pretty anal about phones, so occasionally when I'm in the bathroom sitting down to do my business i'll check my phone. Most of my coworkers do this. I don't stay in there an overly long time and once I'm done i don't linger, so i doubt this affects my productivity.

This morning my boss saw me on my phone through the crack in the stall, and called me out on it. Fine, i was in the wrong there. But it makes my skin crawl to think someone's watching me do my business regardless of intent, and I'm pretty sure if I was a girl that would be grounds for a harassment lawsuit. ######

Response: NTA and you should def complain to HR ######


Prompt:
I'm 19, living with my parents. I have a small part time job that gets me around $800 a month, I give my parents $400 a month for bills, food and miscellaneous things around the house. I pay for my car registration, fuel and any other bills that directly involve me. I try and save as much as I can, and they know that I have a savings account. My parents are now asking that I contribute more money every month. I told them that I already give them half of the money I get, but they say that I shouldn't be saving up when the money could be used. I don't mind giving them the amount I already give them, but I don't feel like I am willing to give up more than 50% of my wage.

Edit:

* I am currently attending university. ######

Response: NTA and you really should consider moving out. If they’re asking you for more money now it’s only going to get worse. They sound awful with money if their logic is truly to spend everything you have. Who doesn’t understand the concept of saving? ######


Prompt:
Going to try to reword this so it doesn't go against the rules.

My boyfriend has two preteen children, that are very big for their ages. We've been together two years and have had the same problems since the beginning. His kids love me which is awesome, but they're extremely disrespectful to me and don't respect my personal space. From taking and hiding my phone, to locking me in the bedroom. Finally my last straw was last weekend when they were relentlessly jumping into me, wrestling each other basically on top of me,trying to take my phone, terrorizing his pets, terrorizing me, while he did nothing to make them stop. He thinks everything they do is cute and funny and will laugh as he watches his kids rough housing with me,  I ask them to stop and they will not listen to me. He tells me it's not his responsibility and I should get after them myself if I don't like what they're doing. I told him it's not my place and I'm not comfortable parenting his kids, I'm trying to keep a good relationship with their mother and not overstep and feel like it's just not my place to do this. I told him that I have decided to step back and stop being around his children after last weekend, that I can't handle it anymore. He is mad at me for this and has stopped talking to me. I have children of my own and always make sure they stay in line, are respectful to him and his property, and would never expect him to be responsible for correcting my children.

AITA for setting boundaries in this situation and taking myself out of the situation since he will not do anything to stop his kids from treating me like this? ######

Response:
 NTA and you need to do more than just step back. Your partner doesn't care how you are treated by his children. He dismisses your feedback and requests for help.

Dump him and find someone that not only respects you, but also cares how their relatives treat you. ######


Prompt: Ok so my son never had a girlfriend, never had a crush on one. By the age of 16 he still hadn't got a girlfriend even tho he was a handsome guy. I talked to my wife about what her reaction would be if he turned out gay, she said that he will be dead to her if he is. come next year and our son turns out gay. I comfort him and tell him its OK. My wife on the other hand freaks out and storms off to her parents' house and is still there, her side of the family cut contact with us and we will be getting a divorce soon. My side of the family is completely OK with it. AITA for supporting my son? ######

Response:
 NTA and you know it, making this a confirmation post which sucks and almost makes you TA.

This is reddit, gay good, homophobia bad, not sure what you wanna read here ######


Prompt:
So I have 2 daughters (10f,14f) and I have a son (13m). My son and daughter (10f) aren't really in this situation

My 14 year old daughter has never liked pork. Me and my son love to eat it, so it's on the table a lot of the time. And my daughter would sometimes eat the pork, but never really liked it.

About a few months ago my daughter came up to me and told me she has decided she wants to stop eating pork completely.

And of course I've supported her in her decision. I started buying Turkey pepperoni and I would make a steak ormake some chicken whenever we were having pork. I'm just trying to make her happy.

A few days ago my daughter came up to me and asked if we would stop eating pork around her because she feels like we aren't being supportive of her decision.

I told her I absolutely support her, but I'm going to eat it when I want. She then said that by not supporting her I'm a horrible father. And I told her that I have made sure that she doesn't have to eat any of the pork by cooking other meats instead. She then stormed off and complained to my wife.

My wife says that we should just stop eating it all around. But I told her that's not happening.

So AITA ######

Response:
 NTA and you handled it great. You are supporting her decision 100% by buying alternate ingredients and making meals that accommodate her.

She cannot dictate what everyone else in the house eats. ######


Prompt:
So my youngest SIL and BIL, husband's brother, moved into my MIL's house after my FIL died. We thought it was a good idea at first.
She'd have help around the house and yard.

Except that's not what happened.

My MIL cooks for them, washes their clothes and dishes. My husband goes over to mow the yard and do yard work.

So, 3 times a week(pre-covid),I'd take  my MIL out. We'd spend most of the day together. My sister in law HATES these days and always tries to get mom to stay.

She needs help with her 3 children after all. They are all still in diapers and she hates leaving them in dirty ones for so long. She refuses to change diapers.

So, I've intentionally put my sister in law out to give mom a break. I also make a point that mom isn't her maid every time I go over ######

Response:
 NTA and you are a dream daughter in law.  I hope MIL realizes.
Also your SIL and BIL sound awful.  Who refuses to change their own child’s’ diapers.  I bet MIL doesn’t want to say anything for fear of causing an argument but I really think she needs to not be their maid. ######


Prompt:
I graduated before my boyfriend so I've been working for 4 months drawing a decent salary while my boyfriend is finishing up his final semester in uni. We started discussing about our next chapter in life, including marriage and finances plans.
We both plan to pool a fixed amount of our income together into a joint account after marriage, which will further spilt into sub categories such as household expenses, vacation fund, kids' education fund, etc.
Now this is where the difference comes in. The money that I have left after contributing the fixed amount into the joint account and after savings, I wanted to keep the remaining as a personal expandables that I can spend on fun things that I like, for myself. My boyfriend however wanted to pool both of our expendables together, which will fund either of our 'splurge'. That essentially means I have to go through him whenever I want to splurge on myself.
It's fine if we're both frugal or equal spenders. I'm however a spender while he's frugal. I believe in treating myself for the little happiness in life, within my means, to motivate myself for work and for life. He however believes in minimizing spending and transferring the max amount he can from the expandable fund into savings at the end of every month.
If we were to pool our expandables, that is essentially pooling 100% of our income together. He views keeping our own personal money as 'drawing too thick a line' and it isn't couple-like. He wants to view us as one entity. I however foresee future problems and arguments arising from pooling 100% of our money together, due to income inequality and differences in spending habits, which can be avoided if we were to have the joint account and personal money separated.
AITA for not wanting to pool our personal expandables fund and 100% of our income together? ######

Response:
 NTA and you already know it will cause friction if he's frugal and you're a spender. Both are fine once nobody is rude.

If you are pooling let's say 3k each then what you have after that should stay in your personal account and you can add periodically to your joint account. You need to have money on your side for yourself that you use without judgement. I didn't study and work to be judged for my Olaf from frozen socks lol ######


Prompt:
Fiance works nights as a nurse, we’re moving this week to our new home. Last night she went to work around 7PM and I was packing boxes. We had previously agreed we wouldn’t move any boxes that night because 1) I didn’t anticipate getting enough done/packed worth moving and 2) she was worried about me injuring my back because I did in a previous move.

Around 10PM I reached a stopping point and sat down, and came upon a weather report indicating snow Sunday/Monday. This wasn’t considered in our plan for the weekend and was a change in circumstance. I made a judgement call to begin moving boxes myself for the next 3-4 hours, so we would have enough time to get everything moved that wouldn’t fit inside an enclosed car today.

Fiance came home this morning and is extremely angry. She wants me to go undo all the work I did last night and bring the boxes back here. She said I’ve “ruined her move into our new house”. She also called the few family members we were having come over this morning and asked them not to show up. She told me I can do the rest of the packing and the moving myself. For reference I’d say I only did 25% of the work myself yesterday.

So AITA? I was trying to be helpful, and I realize that I went against the agreement we had but I felt the circumstances justified my actions. ######

Response:
 NTA and what the hell? I could understand if she was angry because you put yourself in danger of straining your back. But how did you "ruin" the move? And then she stops family members from coming over and tries to force you into doing it all yourself?

What am I missing here? This can't be the only crazy thing she's ever done ######


Prompt:
So I (16F) like to bake, I buy my own ingredients and make something every week or so. I share with my mom and sister (21F), and sometimes her friends if they're over. Its not like I can eat everything myself anyway. This happens every week ish, for the past year? Year and a half? For a while.

So I few days ago when I finished work (grocery store) I texted my sister to ask if there was any food, or if I needed to buy some. She told me there was food, so I went straight home.

When I came home there was no food, there was meat in the freezer but no time to defrost, no bread, no eggs, not much. Couldn't order food, since it was past 9 pm.

My sister had ordered two pizzas, so I asked if I could have a few slices, I offered to pay for them. She refused, she wanted to eat them for lunch the next day. I offered to pay for the whole pizza, so she could order a fresh one tomorrow for lunch, she refused again.

This wouldn't have been an issue if she told me there was no food, I would have bought something on my way home. But she apperently didn't check. I ate some plain rice with salt, it wasn't too bad. But I'm still annoyed she's been eating my baking all this time, and couldn't spare two slices of pizza. I even offered to pay, she doesn't pay for the baking, even though she makes much more than I do. She's been acting a bit entitled with the baking already, getting annoyed when I didn't make something she wanted or enough for her to take to her friends, so this was extra annoying.

So the next time I baked something and she came to grab some I told her no. I don't want to share. She got annoyed and told me I could have some pizza (which had been in the fridge for 3 days) if it's *such* a big deal. I refused again, I don't get much joy from cooking for her anymore.

My mom thinks it's petty, but doesn't want to get involved. My sister has been huffy about it. But I don't feel like I have to share at this point.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA and what a weird family dynamic where a 16-year-old is accustomed to having to offer to pay for every slice of pizza they ask for from their adult sister. ######


Prompt:
I (28m) proposed to my now Fiance (27f) back in December. We had been dating for over 4 years and already talked about marriage. I knew before I asked the question she would say yes. We had talked about her taste in rings before and she always said she wanted something unique and vintage. Nothing brand new. I was having trouble in finding something i felt confident that she would love. So I came up with the idea to take her on a wonderful vacation to a town in Spain that had a ton of antique jewelry shops. I floated the idea by her and she was very excited. We went on our trip and spent 2 days searching shops for her dream ring (we would have spent more time looking, but she was adamant about the ring she found). We spent another 5 days vacationing, where on our 2nd to last night we went to a fancy dinner and I officially proposed.
When we got back some of her friends were shocked that A.) She picked her own ring and B.) The proposal wasn't a surprise. She knew we were going to be engaged on the trip.
Her family seemed a little weirded out by how we did the proposal well.
She ensures me that she loved everything about the trip and loves the ring, but I cant help but wonder if I spoiled the surprise/magic of a once in a lifetime event.
AITA? ######

Response: NTA and what a lovely proposal. What's important was that she loved it and she loves you and you're gonna spend your lives together ######


Prompt:
I have a 12yo dog, very docile and friendly. I've been quite attached to him even more due to the fact that I lived through many hard times in life where my only companion was him. My friends and family couldn't care less for me during these periods.

A few years ago I begun to get involved with the person who's now my fiancee. When I realized that things would get serious I asked her to be my girlfriend, but I said "Before you commit I have to warn you that my dog is extremely important to me. He sleeps in my bed and I care very much for him. You don't have to accept it, that's why I'm bringing this up before we get serious". She gladly accepted.

A few months later she decided that it was unacceptable to have him on the bed. I reminded her that I warned her first, but we both agreed that when she's with me I'd let the dog sleep on another bed in other room and wash our bed sheets and stuff.

She has this retroactive jealously and I find it quite difficult to live with. We discuss every two weeks because she wants to be the one focus of attention in my life. Now she's trying to 1 - compare her jealously with her having to accept my dog, as if one thing was compensating another, and 2 - trying to limit even the attention I give to my dog during any time of the day. Bare in mind that I'm not a very socially active person, my few friends are all men and I even work at home, so there's not even "that girls from the office" for her to complain.

AITA for not attending to her current demands and saying that's beyond too much? ######

Response: NTA And uh, please never have kids with her. If she can't handle you loving a dog, that would be a nightmare scenario. ######


Prompt:
I (23F) have been dating a 27 year old man for about three months now. The relationship is slow moving but nice- we see each other 1-2 times a week and generally have a great time together. Here's the issue. This dude teases me ALL the time. Constant ribbing kind of stuff, poking fun. I like the banter most of the time, and tend to do it right back. All is fun and games, except for the fact that this dude can dish it out like it's no one's business, but can NOT take it. He pokes fun at everything about me, even to the point where it's made me kind of upset. I've brought it up but it doesn't seem to faze him....but the moment I cross any imaginary perceived line on his side, he goes on like i'm some sort of roast master and that he only teases me in retaliation....which is completely not true, as he usually starts it.

The whole thing is really getting out of hand and is seriously making me question my own actions. For instance, he constantly comments on my outfits (making fun of floral prints, etc.) so when he showed up one day straight from four wheeling, I told him he looked like a barn yard animal and he lost his shit and immediately insulted what I was wearing. When I brought it up, he said he only insults my outfits because I do it to him. Last week we went to a party, and he made me a drink. It was really bitter, and I don't like bitter drinks. I was really tispy, so I apparently kept bringing it up at the table jokingly and asking for sugar. He hasn't talked to me for days and is PISSED that I "purposefully embarrassed him in front of our friends..." coming from the same man who refused to try my cake later that night out of spite. Once I realized I had hurt his feelings by insulting his drink so many times, I apologized a lot and said I would stop the ribbing and watch what I say...but I can't help but feel gaslighted. So what do you think Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA and uh you’re right to feel gaslighted because that’s what’s happening ######


Prompt:
TLDR: Friends borrow/given money. Splurge money. Expect more.

As the pandemic started, I knew several friends that would be out of work. Bartenders/wait staff, etc.

I starting reaching out to help if I could. A few took me up on the offer... many didn’t.

Two in particular really rubbed me the wrong way.

One needed money and I gave it to her. Then I saw in social media her going out and partying. Later she asked for a $300 loan until payday (she had been getting some hours at work). She said LOAN. She set the date. There were expectations set. On that day, I have her until about noon and hadn’t heard anything. FB post.. she’s on her way to Florida for the beach. I text her and ask about payday. She asks if she can just give me part of the money (never acknowledges that she’s literally at the beach and has posted pics of crab legs she’s eating). I mull this over for a few hours and ask for the payment in full. I get a cash app transfer in full and not a single word since (3 weeks now)

Another friend. Had an $800 bill due. I give $500 and she was like “that won’t pay the bill!”  Later she sets up Onlyfans site and invites me to join to “help each other out”. I ignore the message. 2 weeks go by.. she drives to FL and spent the weekend at the beach. Then flew to New England and spent a week posting pics of her and her friends eating, drinking and beach going. This morning “hey!  I’m trying to move ASAP. My car insurance is due .......”
My response to her is still pending.....

AITA???!!!??? ######

Response: NTA and those people are **users**, certainly **not** your friends. ######


Prompt:
Our dog usually eats tinned food or chub rolls, but every now and then she gets a special treat: two packets of ready to eat smoked mackerel from the fish section of the supermarket freezer.

There's usually two or three fillets in each pack. She doesn't get the fillets whole, they're broken up into her bowl. This is easiest to do by hand. I strip the skin off the back, put the fillet back on the packaging, rip the skin apart, then break the fillet up. Every now and then I pop a small piece of fish into my mouth.

When I mentioned this to some of my online friends they said this is wrong, and disgusting. Even though it's from the human section of the supermarket, the fact that it was bought for the dog makes it "off limits" for my eating in their mind.

AITA for eating parts of my dog's meal as I was preparing it for her? ######

Response:
 NTA and this is also such a pure post.

I buy food for myself and my dog begs for it so I give him little pieces bc he is the cutest goodest boy. Is he the asshole for taking those little pieces from me bc I bought it for myself? No way.

Also whoever criticized you for it is delusional and an asshole themselves. Maybe find new friends.

You’re cooking your dog people food, you didn’t just buy a bag of dog food, like that is so sweet, you obviously love and care for your dog.

If you were eating all of your dog’s food and they were starving as a result, then it would be a different story, but this is obviously not the case based off your post. ######


Prompt:
I (25F) have been with my fiancé (26M) for 10 years now, and spent the last week with beautiful weather at his house. For context, his family and I re very close as they have seen me grow up and we have always lived around the corner from each other.

I asked my MIL if she minded if I layed out in the backyard and tanned in my bikini. She said “absolutely not hunny, any time”. So I did. A strapless tanning bikini, but totally covered my bits, I would wear it in front of my own dad, or at any public pool, it was not scandalous in any way.

My FIL and his brother were in the backyard doing yard work, BBQing and some other tasks throughout the afternoon. We chatted, laughed, had a beverage together, both wives were around as well but inside the house. It was a great afternoon until my fiancé’s GREAT AUNT showed up. When she had a second alone with me, she told me it was “completely inappropriate and disrespectful to my relationship with my fiancé to be wearing such little clothing around his father and uncle, how dare I?”

My fiancé had no issues, neither did his mother. His dad and uncle never stared or made me feel uncomfortable. As a 25 year old daughter in law, was I the in the wrong for being in a bikini for an afternoon in the sunshine, in front of my father in law? ######

Response: NTA and the great aunt sounds like a wet sponge. Ignore her. ######


Prompt:
It has been difficult finding alone time with my wife since our kids never seem to leave the house these days, so we have been using my office as a place to meet for sex. It's convenient since my employees have all been working from home and my office is private (floor below me is unoccupied).

One of my daughters had been looking for a way to earn some extra money, so a few weeks ago I told her I would pay her if she helped me organize some of my paperwork and files at my office. I didn't give her a set day. I told her do it whenever she had time as long as she did it before the summer ended.

I thought she would tell me when she planned to stop by, but she didn't. She showed up one day when my wife was there and we were in a weird position.

My wife sometimes like to role play that she is another woman, and that day she happened to be wearing a wig. She was also position so that my daughter couldn't see her face. My daughter didn't recognize it was her mother and yelled at me for being a cheater and then left.

I wanted to immediately give her a call and for us to tell her that the other woman was her mother, but my wife wanted to keep her identity a secret because she was embarrassed about what she was wearing and being caught giving me oral. She said that she would never be able to look at our daughter again if she knew it was her and wanted to instead tell our daughter that we have an open marriage.

I told her I would not let our daughter think I was having sex with other women, so I called her up and told her that it was her mother and if she didn't believe me I would show her the wig and she'd find her mom's car parked in the alley behind my building.

My wife was not happy with this. She says that I've destroyed her imagine in the eyes of our daughter and she will now think of her differently, which I don't believe.

AITA for telling our daughter the truth instead of lying to protect my wife's "image"? ######

Response: NTA and the fact that your wife is willing to let it look like you’re a cheater so she can protect her own feelings is appalling ######


Prompt:
I am 45F and my Husband 50M has a 16-year-old son. He is a good kid, good grades, respectful, does his chores, etc. Last Summer my son said that he wanted a new computer. To his credit, he got a part-time job and saved up for it, and built a pretty nice gaming PC. We are really proud of him, as he saved for it nearly all summer.

My sister and her husband have recently moved in with us. They have a 9-year-old son. My sister has a history of IDK how to put it, being entitled. She thinks her kid can do no wrong and spoils her kid.

Well when they came over, my nephew noticed my son's PC. He asked if he can play on it, my son said not now. That was the end of it for a couple of days. Again, my nephew wanted to play on it. I asked my son if he minded sharing, he said he would rather not since its expensive and doesn't want it to break. This has caused a big argument. My sister says its extremely unfair to my nephew because he doesn't have a system to play on, just his iPad, so my son should have to share. I told her it's his PC not mine, he paid for it so it's up to him. She then accused me of being a 'spineless parent'. I said I'm not, but I'm not going to force my son to share his own computer. My nephew ended up having a huge fit, which she then blamed me for his fit, but gave him 3 more hours of iPad time to quiet him down.

Its been 4 days and my sister hasn't brought it up directly again, just being passive-aggressive. While on one hand, I don't want to make my kid share, because it's his computer, he saved up for it and I don't feel it would be the right thing to do, to force my kid to share. On the other hand, I do feel kinda bad for my nephew, AITA? ######

Response: NTA and thank you for not being one of the "if he's under 18 he doesn't own anything" parents. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend decided to break up with me 2 weeks ago after admitting she’s been unfaithful and she’s pregnant with a child that’s almost definitely not mine.

I was stunned at first I can’t lie because we’ve been together since 2017 and I just never thought she would have it in her to cheat, but hey ho that’s the way it goes sometimes and tbh I’m glad I found out sooner rather than later cuz I am NOT ready to be a father.

With everyone going on I was in survival mode and agreed she could stay in my house for the time being, however things are beginning to tense up cuz she is helping herself to my shit like she’s still in a relationship with me.

I told her she needed to hurry up and find somewhere new to live especially because she’s eating into my resources and frankly I don’t want to be responsible for her financially or otherwise. I’m telling you she’s going through a LOT.

She said she has nowhere else to go right now so I said in that case you’re gonna have to be asking your parents for money so you can contribute financially. It’s not like I’m even asking for rent or utilities but just to cover shit like food and water.

I can’t afford to keep both of us afloat and she has no job so I defo don’t feel obliged to help her out.

Anyway she literally called all of our friends ALL of whom are calling me an evil bastard, so am I the asshole cuz I sure as hell don’t feel like one but they’re saying otherwise? ######

Response: NTA and tell her to go home to her parents.  They can quarantine her for 14 days in the basement.  She is not your problem anymore. ######


Prompt:
I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant, which was unexpected. One symptom that I have is EXTREME gas. I belch like a frat boy 24/7, and I can’t help it. They just slip out. I’ve tried bicarbonate with water, EVERYTHING.

fast forward to yesterday, my fiance and I were laying down on the couch, and as I was getting up, i let out an ungodly loud burp. He looked at me and called me disgusting. He says he can’t look at me the same, as it’s really gross. Prior to getting pregnant, I never burped/farted in front of him. So AITA? ######

Response: NTA and someone needs to tell him to buckle up- does he realize what he's in for watching childbirth and caring for a baby?  It's not all pristine unicorns and rainbows ######


Prompt:
So I have a niece and nephew, my nephew is 3 and my niece is 5 months old. Ever since my nephew was born my sister has just randomly dropped him off anytime she wanted without even asking me first. Most of the time she will drop them off with 20 bucks and expect me to watch them on the spot. I usually just end up watching them because they are just kids and did nothing wrong, but at the same time how are you going to drop your kids off to someone else and expect them to drop everything they are doing for you every time. Just recently she started texting me asking me to when it's late at night and I am in bed, then she will drop them off anyways even if I don't reply.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my niece and nephew, even though my niece always cries when her mom leaves and my nephew needs to learn how to use his inside voice some, but they are great kids and I love them lots.

So now as of yesterday I had just found out one of the people from my second family had just passed away, he was only 40. The reason I told that is to tell this, saw a post on fb yesterday about my mom saying she would watch my niece and nephew again while my sister worked, and my sister replied that she explained everything in text. I know I am a bit of a jerk for snooping through my moms text to her (only the ones from the previous conversation), but apparently my sister knew my friend who was like family to me had passed and proceeded to tell my mom "Your son can watch them for 5 minutes", then she proceeded to b\*\*\*\* my mom out for giving my niece formula when she's told her no in the past.

I don't really feel like it's my responsibility to watch her kids, even though I do enjoy their company and love seeing them, but still is it really my responsibility to watch them.

So am I the jerk here for not wanting to watch my sisters kids whenever she wants me too. ######

Response: NTA and sister is. Tell them you aren’t willing to do it any more unless you have arrangements at least a few days in advance. ######


Prompt: My sister, (27) thinks that i (31M) can’t own a cat because I’m a man, but it goes far beyond that. Whenever she came over she would always throw stuff at my cat or would lock it in a closet, making me search for her for hours and leaving me to put her up for a hotel. She always tells me that the next time she sees my cat she’s going to take her and give her away because it’s “gay” to have cats? We’re having a family reunion at my house the day quarantine is over to celebrate my parent’s retirement and while making preparations, I told my sister that I refuse to let my sister stay at my house. Well she apparently already booked arrangeable plane tickets and worked it out with work but I told her that she should cancel because my cat is apart of my family and if she wants to get rid of it then she can’t participate in the family reunion. My sisters pretty pissed, AITA? ######

Response: NTA and shes an animal abuser/homophobic(?) ######


Prompt:
I’m unsure if this is rude and/or ridiculous, so Reddit can be the judge.

My friend, L, very adamant about saving herself until marriage. (we are both 21F.) It wasn’t even just for her, she would shame and side eye people who weren’t married and sleeping together, even one of our mutual friends. She wholeheartedly believed that was a sin, as she was very religious.

However, she got boyfriend, and they ended up sleeping together, told me that herself. (Edit: she told me he took her virginity.) One thing led to another and they broke up amicably.

After that, we were hanging out and she went off on a tangent saying, “girls need to respect themselves and not sleep around, that’s what husbands are for.”

Me: “Does that make you one of those girls?”

L: “What are you talking about?”

Me: “I mean, you had sex.”

I explain that is doesn’t have to be shameful and she can just not do it again until she’s married if she pleases. She seemed to be in disbelief that she’s not a virgin anymore. She also seemed upset that I mentioned that to her.

I mean we’re 21, I hope she knows what sex is.

AITA for pointing this out?

EDIT: Oh wow! I didn’t expect this to blow up, haha. I do have one thing to say, when my friend says “sleeps around” also she believes any girl in a relationship that’s having sex is also sleeping around, because she is being unfaithful to her future husband. That was poor wording on my part, I was reusing her words, though. :) ######

Response: NTA And she is a hypocrite. How does she think she can have sex and still be a virgin? ######


Prompt:
We (30/27) have been together for four years. We've both been laid off due to Corona and have been home for a few months now. The thing is that he's become veeeery lazy during it.

I'm constantly cooking, doing housework, try to go for walks with him or doing ANYTHING, but all he wants is sit on the couch, play PS4, watch TV, listen to music, and drink beer. I'm terribly bored and start to feel like his mum.

Anyway, I went running today and when I came back, I was knackered. I hadn't eaten yet, so when he went to the kitchen to make food for the first time in days, I happily went for a relaxed shower and then waited on the couch for the nicely smelling meal.

Finally, he came out of the kitchen with one bowl. I asked if I was going to have some, too. He just looked at me baffled and said "I thought you didn't want any". I thought he was joking, but he continued to eat his massive bowl right in front of me, knowing I was starving.

I asked if he could make me something, too, which was declined. He wanted to play PS4 now, I would have to wait, he said.

We continued to have an argument which ended in both of us ignoring each other.

Am I the asshole here? I can make my own food, but I thought it was inconsiderate of him to not think of me or even ask (as I always cook for him), especially after I worked out and was obviously hungry. And then get so worked up about me asking for some food. This might be me being hangry, so I'd love some perspective.

Thank you! ######

Response: NTA and seriously,  do you even want to be with someone this selfish? What possible benefit are you having from this arrangement? ######


Prompt:
I live one hour away from my parents, in a house with 5 housemates. Without asking, my mom called me to not ask, but TELL me that my sister will be moving in.

My sister? She lives with my parents. She is 18 and a slob. My parents have kept my room as is since I’ve moved out. I sleep in my old room when I come to visit. Once, I found a used condom in my old room because she snuck a guy upstairs. Why my old room? Because it's clean. Her room is not only messy, but musty, because of all the old food/moldy starbucks fermenting in there.

My sister didn’t ask. My mom didn’t ask. I was just told. I live in a small room that cannot accommodate another bed, and the bed I currently have now is a twin. They expect me to continue paying for my rent without pitching in. But most of all, I refuse to share my room with a slob. What do I do? AITA if I refuse?

I told them no. That I would have to ask my landlord and housemates first. My mom doesn’t believe my landlord nor my housemates have a say because I “pay for it.” My response: "Ok so since one of my roommates has a bf and she pays her rent, does that mean he can live with us? No, I don’t think so. That’s not how it works.”

TL;DR: My mother informed me that my slob of a sister will be moving in to my tiny room without asking. AITA for refusing? ######

Response: NTA and quite frankly, it would be inappropriate for you to even ask the landlord or housemates. ######


Prompt:
Lately when my wife gets upset at me for something I do,  she’ll “be upset” for like 10 minutes then she’ll play it off as acting and she’ll say “I got you!” But I don’t like this and I don’t think it’s a healthy way to handle being upset. Instead of talking about it and her telling me what’s making her upset so we can get through it and work on making it better, she does this.

Usually it’s over stupid trivial things, but sometimes it’s over more serious situations too. Her “acting” has lasted sometimes for 30 minutes or more.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA and props to you for being a healthy adult/partner and communicating with her instead of avoiding this (probably) uncomfortable topic ######


Prompt:
My sister and her H are very into kinky sex (I’m not and admittedly don’t know a lot about it) but my sister tells me about it a LOT so I feel like I’ve learned a decent amount. From what I can tell, sharing details with other people is part of the excitement for her. Basically he has a cuckolding fetish where he likes to watch other men having sex with my sister, then after he (excuse the TMI) sucks the other guys semen out of my sister. I’m also a woman btw, I’m guessing she wouldn’t tell me all this if I weren’t...but who knows.

So anyway I recently came across this book on Amazon about “hotwifing” and I linked it to her, saying “since Steve is a cuck I assume he’d get a kick out of this.” No response...odd. I thought maybe I misunderstood the books premise but whatever.

Then I get a response in EMAIL later, with Steve CCed, saying that it’s unacceptable for me to call him “the C word” because that’s a name only those in the cuckold community can use for each other, and that unless I personally plan to cuck Steve (theyre not asking me to, obviously) that I can’t call him a cuck. She said that from now on any communications about Steve have to be said with him on the thread and I need to apologize for the slur.

This feels...extra, I mean...a slur to me is related to race/gender but not a kink that someone chooses. She stopped short of saying this is the N word for the hotwifing community but did say she would liken it to the F word (the homophobic one.)

I didn’t apologize the way she wanted...I said I’m sorry I said it, but this new policy of cc’ing Steve is super weird and I’m worried it might Also be a kink? ######

Response: NTA and people sure have gotten loose with the term slur. I’d ask your sister to save her stories for someone else. Who wants to hear about it, let alone be lectured about their lack of kink sensitivity or whatever when they try to respond. ######


Prompt:
This happened before the whole corona virus ordeal, but my friend, we will call her L, is still upset about this. AITA in this situation?

Awhile ago at a social gathering L and I were discussing her upcoming birthday plans. I offered to host L’s birthday party if she didn’t have other plans, L quickly shut that down insisting she had other plans to go to a cabin.

Also mentioning that she would be inviting other mutual friends of ours to this cabin and I would not be invited to this cabin with them. I’m not offended that I was not invited to the cabin, it’s her birthday and if she didn’t want me there it’s up to her.

And now this is where it gets complicated.

1 week later:

L: what are we doing for my birthday?

(In my mind I was confused, because
1. L told me she was going to a cabin
2. I already made plans to attend a house warming party for a very close friend of mine)

Me: I am attending a house warming party, and I thought you were going to the cabin?

L: We not going to the cabin until the day after my birthday, do you think we could still do something by you for it?

Me: No, I’m sorry but I made plans, if you want to do something during the day I can, but I’m busy at night.

L: you’re ruining my birthday

After she said that I stopped responding to her.
And to clarify, she is still attending the cabin for her birthday, and I’m still not invited for the birthday weekend at the cabin. But I am expected to host and attend her birthday party on the real day?
Also I offered to do something during the day for her birthday, but that still wasn’t good enough!
I ended up doing nothing with her and attended a very nice house warming party, and she looked like she had a blast at the cabin for her birthday weekend, but she still very upset at me?
AITA and should I apologize for not being there for her birthday? ######

Response: NTA and not sure why you’re referring to this person as a friend. ######


Prompt:
Writing on mobile. Sorry for the length, but I wanted to include the messages as they were sent without using imgur.

My mum has a habit of taking photos of me and used to post them to the book of faces without asking. I have always been self concious about my apperance, and now that I'm 36 weeks pregnant and huge, my confidence in my apperance is non existant. I sent a photo of my bump to the family chat because she had been begging me too, and added a note that said

"Btw I know I don't need to say it, but please don't share that photo I put up" (directly copied).

 She then went on a compete rant which is a bit long, but here's the abridged version.

"I hope that I hv proved to all of un that I respect your privacy Hasn’t I I only post my garden and projects That keeps me restricted from the roof tops what I want to share about my pride of my immediate family I only wish my family would recognise and acknowledge that instead of constantly warning me not to breach that confidentiality As far as I’m aware I hv respected that wish By pretending it’s all about me And I seem to never get there Trusted ! Really? The grave Maybe"

(spelling errors ECT copied directly, sorry, her messages are always hard to translate).

I finished by leaving this;

"It's not about trust mum. I've never liked photos of me, now even less, but you said you wanted to see them and putting them here feels very vulnerable. I'd rather not comment anymore if everything I say is going to cause you offense."

So AITA? Do I need to apologise? ######

Response:
 NTA and no you don't.

Sounds like everything is about her. Could explain some of your confidence issues. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway. Names are changed.

I've been best friends with Dan (29M) since we were in high school. He's been married to Cassie (28F) for two years and they recently had their first kid. Dan's dad remarried when we were off at college and Lucifer became his stepmom. Lucifer had a son from a previous relationship.

Recently, with the weather getting nicer, Dan and Cassie hosted a small barbecue with immediate family and friends. I was there, Dan, Cassie, and their kiddo were there, Cassie's parents, Dan's dad and Lucy, and a few other people.

Everyone was gushing over the baby and how good Cassie was looking. She had a rough pregnancy and has been resting up ever since the baby came. She also had a C-section (this is relevant).

Now, Lucy is a shitty person and Dan has never been her biggest fan. The topic of Cassie's C-section came up and Lucy said something nasty about Cassie not being a real woman and a true mother, for not having given birth naturally. It was pretty hurtful and I could see it on Cassie's face that she was upset.

I ended up blurting out that it wasn't surprising that Lucy had said that, considering she was such a huge cunt, when she gave birth her kid probably just slipped out and fell on the floor. Dan laughed, but his dad and Lucifer were pretty upset. They ended up leaving shortly after.

I know there's some controversy over that particular word, I'm wondering if I went too far. AITA? ######

Response: NTA and nice touch with the name "Lucifer" ######


Prompt:
My husband and I are getting a divorce, it was pretty out of the blue, we had a fight and then he said he wanted one. He said that we didn’t have to go to court, he only wanted a small amount and just wanted it to be over with. He’s currently staying with a friend.

He was a stay at home dad for most of our daughters childhood, and only recently had gotten back to work, however he got furloughed for the quarantine.

I was talking to my parents and they asked how the divorce was going, and I told them the good news that he didn’t want much money. They were unhappy with this for some reason, and said I should volunteer to give him more money. I think that would be stupid, because 1) he’s asking for the divorce, I was perfectly happy, and 2) he specifically only asked for the amount he did.

I then was venting to a friend about this conversation because it frustrated me and then she agreed with them!

I don’t see how I’m in the wrong here, yes, if we went to court he undoubtedly would get more but he doesn’t want to, I’m talking to my lawyer and everything is going smoothly. I don’t see why I should have to give him something he didn’t ask for?

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA and neither is your husband. Everyone else should mind their own business.

It sounds like you're on the way to a civil divorce and hope the best for your future alternative family! ######


Prompt: Every single night, my neighbors would blast loud rap music at all hours of the night. I got tired of it and approached them on their porch. They mocked me and told me to get over it and that it was a free country. So, what I did, originally, was play my own rock music. They knocked on my door and told me the exact same thing I told them. I asked them how it felt for the shoe to be on the other foot and slammed the door. I then stopped the music. The next night, they did the same thing. I knocked on the door and told them if they continued that I would call the cops. They all laughed at me and told me to do it and called me a pussy. I went back to my house, they continued, and I sure as shit called the cops. They arrived and I believe they told them if they continued they would be arrested for disturbance of the peace, because they stopped. For 2 days. They continued, I called the cops back, and they were arrested. I found out later that apparently they had a large criminal record and were arrested for many other things other than disturbance of the peace. I accidentally ratted out criminals. AITA? ######

Response: NTA and man, your neighbors are not only asses, they're dummies.  People with open warrants generally keep a lower profile. ######


Prompt:
I (22F) have been living on my own for about 2 years now, but moved back in with my mom to save money during this time.

When I live alone or with roommates, I rarely ever think about what I eat on a daily basis. But when I’m home, my mom is constantly asking what I’m eating or offering up “healthier” suggestions and I’ve found I feel very anxious eating at her house. She also does this to my sister (21F) and has been a lot worse to her than me in the past. She put my sister on Weight Watchers in like 6th grade. My sister just recently found medical records from that time saying she was not considered overweight until high school.

My mom has a history of bulimia and has been pretty weird about food ever since then. She’s always buying elixirs and protein powders and sugar alternatives and trying to make her food “healthier”.

This morning as I was making my coffee (French press with oat milk) she said that I really should let her make me one of her “coffee drinks” with beef collagen and adaptogens and whatever other shit she was gonna throw in there. Granted, I had not had my coffee yet but I went OFF on how adding processed alternatives to substitute real foods is not “healthy” and the way she micromanages our eating is pretty messed up.

My brother (18M) stepped in and said I was being unusually harsh to my mom and that she doesn’t care what we eat. Of course he thinks that, he’s a “growing boy” in her mind and she doesn’t treat his eating the same as she does my sister and mine.

My sister didn’t want to get into the argument because she didn’t want to bring up poor feelings from our moms bad ED days and overall upbringing.

AITA for calling her out?

tl;dr my mom has an unhealthy relationship with food that she projects onto my sister and I. I finally called her out on it today. ######

Response: NTA and look up orthorexia. I'm not diagnosing your mom of course but it sounds awfully like that. ######


Prompt:
today my stepdad refused to let my little sister put makeup on him and when i asked him why, he said it's because men aren't allowed to use makeup. i told him that it's 2020 and dozens of men wear makeup, to which he replied those people weren't "real men". i asked him to elaborate and he said that since they chose to play a feminine role, they weren't men.

i'm a lesbian and while my parents know that, they don't want to believe it and refuse to let me talk about it or properly come out to them. i asked him if me dressing masculine (which is something i do, simply because i like the look on me) makes me less of a woman. he said yes.

i called him out on his bullshit and told him he’s being ignorant. then i left the room. now he acts like i'm being dramatic and should stop ignoring him. am i the asshole? ######

Response: NTA and keep ignoring him to your heart’s content. You have no obligation to listen to him if he refuses to listen to what you have to say just because of his old timey shit views. The world has changed and he refuses to change with it. ######


Prompt:
Here's the situation... I recently had a baby. When I found out I was pregnant I decided to buy a house as my apartment is a 1 bedroom and much too small. I found a building with 3 seperate apartments, which I planned to move into the 3 bedroom on the bottom floor.  I closed on the house in March and informed the tenant about my plans to move in.

Because of covid I agreed to allow them to stay a few month's longer,  but now the covid in our area has subsided for the most part and business are opened back up.

I wouldn't be in such a hurry except that I've had several complaints from neighbors and my other tenants about the property.  These people have at least 8 cars parked in the front of the house at a time, most of them unregistered and no inspection.  I received an Order to Remedy Violation from the town zoning officer.  And the entire yards looks like a scrap yard with all the car parts and tires laying around. One of my good tenants told me she plans to move if they aren't gone soon because she can't stand the "ruckus" that goes on every day.

There are also repairs needed to the plumbing and windows in the basement that they are not allowing me to get to.

I feel like they are taking advantage of my kindness and my property. I know it's hard to find a place that quickly and move out but we don't have a lease and in my state I'm only required to give the 30 days. ######

Response: NTA and its probably going to take a while to get them out if they dont voluntarily comply, the sooner you start the better ######