Prompt:
I want to start by saying my sister and I don't have the BEST relationship.

She didn't meet me until she was 18 because my mom had her has a teenager and put her up for adoption. Her adoptive family provided for her but even though her adoption was an open adoption they hate that she has a relationship with her birth family. They are an upper class family that offers to pay for anything she wants if she does exactly what they say, so she often does.

About 3 years ago my sister got engaged to a wonderful man, and she asked me to be a brides maid. I was only 23 at the time, a college student with no money. But I bought the dress, paid for my way for her shower and Bachelorette party, single handedly decorated her entire reception location.... and the day before the wedding her adoptive mom told my sister she didn't want her bio family at the wedding she was paying for. (I also had already booked off work and told my professors I'd be missing a week of school to be the primary care giver for her THREE children while she went on her honeymoon)

So. The day before her wedding, after putting out money I needed for groceries and supporting myself, she uninvited me from her wedding. I am her sister and she removed me with out hesitation or good reason from the most important day in her life. I still watched the kids of course because they were innocent in all her issues.

But now I'm engaged, and planning my wedding, and I don't want to invite her, I don't want to have someone at my wedding that reminds me how disposable I am if she's getting some cash in return. My fiance says I'm not the asshole, but my mother and brother do.

I don't really know what to do and to be honest I'm not sure if I'm the asshole  or if she is. Help! ######

Response: NTA, her adoptive family are manipulating her, and she wronged you on a deep and personal level. Don't invite her to the wedding, it will cause you more pain. Your wedding should be a special occasion with the people that you love and the people that love you. Your wedding should be happy and fun, not remind you of when family turned you away for money. ######


Prompt:
One of my closest male friends is pansexual and his parents are not supportive of that, nor would they be supportive of their male-child wearing makeup. He has expressed to me that he wants to paint his nails and wear eyeliner. I am more than willing to buy/teach him how to use eyeliner, but I feel like it would be bitchy of me to do it without his parents knowing about it. So, Reddit, WIBTA if I bought my friend eyeliner without his parents knowing about it?

Edit 1:
For those asking or planning on asking, I am 14 and my friend is 15.

Edit 2: Typo ######

Response: NTA, help them be themselves. Be that support system! ######


Prompt: This is gonna be a short one. so i go to school with a guy thats obviously fit (sixpack and all the shit) That constantly says he's fat. I am ALOT overweight and weigh around 240 pound (112kg) and really hates it. today i just had enough and told him to shut the fuck up about being fat. am i the assholee for saying that? ######

Response: NTA, he's fishing for compliments it sounds like. I hate people like that, it gets really old real quick. ######


Prompt:
Ok so for clarification my parents had been married for 40 years but unhappy for atleast 10, my mother spends 10 months of the year at her caravan home and 2 months of the year at home where my father still lives.

3 years ago they agreed to start seeing other people officially ending their relationship but still keeping the same living arrangements.

About 18 months ago my mother met a man she calls “Mr Spain “ as he claimed to have a few apartments in Spain that he let out as well as a property nearby that he rented out so was fairly well off.

They apparently fell immediately in love and wanted to get married so my mother rushed a divorce through with my father and married this man a month later (had known each other about 6 months at this point) we were still talking at this point and although I was apprehensive about this man we all did our best to accept him into our lives.

A few months later it all turned out to be lies, he had no apartments in Spain, no other house, he had some money from a family inheritance but many other lies were unearthed.

My mother was heartbroken and I helped her file for annulment, he seemed to accept but asked my mother to pay him back for the gifts he had bought for our family (over£10,000 total but they were gifts he gave of his own choice)

Before the annulment could be completed lockdown hit us and she was told it wouldn’t be able to be processed until the courts re open, during this time she started talking to him again.

Fast forward a few months and he’s wormed his way back into her life she wants to cancel the annulment and continue her life with him, I’ve told her I don’t want to not see her or her not to see the kids but I don’t want my family anywhere near him and I don’t trust him, apparently I’m a heartless asshole who won’t accept her choices, but I think I’m not being unreasonable wanting to keep our distance. ######

Response: NTA, he's a liar and scammer, you're doing the best by trying to keep away from him. ######


Prompt:
So, I'll try to keep this short, but chances are, it wont be. I(F38 almost 39) recently started talking to someone I met through work. Hes 33 and recently out of a relationship.  We've only been facebook chatting because of the shutdown, plus he no longer works for the same employer as me. I wont go see him because I work at a place thats had cases, plus i live with an older relative who wouldnt fare very well if she were to get this.

So, I recently noticed he talks about sex, a lot. Pretty much from our first conversation. At first, it didnt really bother me, although I would change the subject if it went on too long. Yesterday, we were talking about drinking. I was telling him some of the issues I'd seen crop up in my family. Telling him that's why I dont drink. I had just finished sharing a very personal story, when he told me" I'd make you drink my cum"

I was pretty disgusted. I mean, im down for some naughty talk, dont get me wrong. But the story I had just told him definitely was not one that should have prompted him to say that. I responded with" I'm trying to have a serious conversation right now" Which thankfully, at the time, caused him to stop for the moment. Several minutes later, he was once again trying to steer the conversation that way, and i just wasnt having it. I told him to stop, and he called me a frigid bitch. Told me"well since you wont come over here and i cant come there what else can i do"

Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA, he's a creep who says disgusting things unprompted and then calls you misogynistic names for telling him to stop. I don't understand why this guy didn't immediately go on your black list or how you could call him potential boyfriend material.

Seriously, I'm worried about you if this guy is in any way acceptable to you. That's not healthy. ######


Prompt:
So back story.

My parents split when i was 2 years old, My mom kept me and my brother and my dad left and avoided contact entirely.

Never paid child support, and kept sending my family his bills and police officers so that they wont go to his address.

Recently i found out he passed away from cancer and my family wants me to mourn for him, yet i dont feel anything for him other than disdain and anger.

I've attended his funeral and paid my share for the tombstone.

My relatives are now giving me a tough time saying i must mourn him as jewish tradition dictates

(7 days of mourning, and then a year with no music or any happy events)

Am i wrong for feeling like this ? ######

Response: NTA, he was never a father to you, in any possible way... let me guess... his side of the family wants you to mourn... right? ######


Prompt:
Well, today is mother's day at least in my country anyways.( I am sure I just reminded some of you) It's also my mother's birthday today. So its super special.

Because she's turning 50 I thought l would plan something. So from last month I have been texting my brother (23M) to make sure that he is available this weekend and to home so we could celebrate. ( he lives far away due to school) I started a month in advance because l knew that he must be nagged to do certain things.

I ordered the cake and paid for it with my own money. I even booked a restaurant reservation( but due to COVID that failed)

I bought Lillys for her( they are her favourite) and helped my little brother ( 7) to make a card for her.

Finally after a whole month of begging and nagging my brother agreed to stay over. He kept saying things like he is super busy and may not be able to make it.

So on the day( today) my little brother and l woke up super early to make her her favourite meal. We tried waking up my big brother but he wouldn't budge.

When my mother woke up she was so happy. The problem arose when during breakfast, my mother asked who planned all this. I was in the process of saying it was a group effort, even though my big brother did nothing but show up. My big brother cut me off and started taking credit for the whole thing. He even said he paid for the cake!

I said nothing then because my mother was super happy and the moment was about her. Later on however, when my brother and l were alone, l confronted him.

When l expressed how I didn't appreciate his stunt at breakfast,  he started saying the way l was being selfish because the moment was about our mother.

So AITA for getting mad or just petty?
I am (18F) for context? ######

Response: NTA, he was 100% being selfish and making it about himself. Next time I’d call him out on it, and if your mother is upset it’s his fault for lying. You were already being generous by saying it was a group effort when he wouldn’t get off his ass and do anything, for him to take credit is incredibly selfish and petty. ######


Prompt:
I (21f) and my husband (23m) were at my family's house for Father's Day this past weekend. We were having a conversation about the family pets, and I had jokingly said that I would trade my husband's 12 year old Blue Heeler for my sister's 4 year old Chihuahua in a heartbeat.

Without hesitation, my husband proceeded to spill some of his glass of water on top of my head. He did this once before in front of my family (I teased him about looking at a girl walking by in front of our car even though I knew he wasn't) and he squirted me with his water bottle that time.

I told him back then that it was embarrassing and humiliating, that I felt like a dog being sprayed with water, especially in front of my family. Yet he did it again in front of my family, so I maintained what dignity I could by refusing to talk/look at him until I could regain control of my emotions.

He tried to apologize a half hour later, when it was clear that I wasn't letting it go. When I didn't accept, my family proceeded to tell me that I was an asshole for getting angry with him and "taking it too seriously."

No, I wasn't drenched either time, but it was shocking and embarrassing to suddenly have water poured on me. So, AITA for "overreacting"? ######

Response: NTA, he shouldn't have done something he knew you found particularly humiliating.  But I think it's worth figuring out if he's doing this because he's being deliberately obtuse about something you have clearly indicated is 'out of bounds' in terms of how far to escalate teasing/giving each other a hard time, or if it's because his feelings are getting hurt (being teased about having a wandering eye when you don't or about how much your spouse values a beloved pet could really bother some people) and rather than using his big boy words he's 'kidding around' in a passive aggressive way he knows bothers you.  Neither is acceptable reason to do something he had to know would upset you, but for your relationship long term its worth clarifying what the hell is going on with him. ######


Prompt:
i (18F) have had a pretty large chest since i was like 14 and it’s quite a pain. my mother is helpful, she helps pay for bras and clothes to fit me especially now because i don’t have a way to get money during the quarantine. both my parents occasionally show concern if i look particularly uncomfortable, but my father voices his ‘concern’ more often than my mother.

i absolutely understand and can assure you that it 100% does not come from a sexual place yet his comments are always so ignorant and immature especially for a man who’s almost 50 now and has been married to a woman for like 28 years. for example, the most recent incident was about a week ago, i was in a bikini and innocently discussing something with my mother when my father interjects with something along the lines of ‘i can’t imagine dealing with that weight on my chest! that top doesn’t even look like it fits!’ the comments range from at least partially constructive to very objectifying. i tell my dad whenever he makes these comments that it really is weird and he has no business making comments like this, but it always ends up in him screaming at me that ‘he’s the parent and i’m the child’.

i do understand that where he’s coming from mostly stems from concern, and i know i shouldn’t argue as much with my father, but am i the asshole here? is he just being helpful? ######

Response: NTA, he should not making those comments BECAUSE he is the father and you're his child. He should not be making those comments to anyone who makes it clear to be uncomfortable with it. ######


Prompt:
So I (28 F) have been with my bf (30 M) for over 8 years. Recently I’ve had Some problems with mental health issues and have been getting help for it. I’ve been keeping a diary to help me express what I’m feeling.

I’ve explicitly told my bf that it’s filled with private thoughts about myself and that I don’t want him reading it, and that if it’s about him, I’ll always come to him, but for now I just need a safe space to vent my thoughts.

It’s been about 7 months since I started writing in it and it’s help, but now I think he’s been reading.

Not only have I told him multiple times that’s it’s not his business as well as I’m entitled to some privacy, I’ve noticed that he’s been acting like he knows what I’ve written. For example

If I wright about how I don’t like how my legs look? He’ll start complimenting them the next day!

It’s been a few weeks and I’ve started to notice a pattern, but I didn’t want to outright say anything because

A. I’ve told him multiple times not to read my diary and
B. It may just actually be a coincidence

So to catch him in the act, I put in my diary that I was thinking of cheating on him, and I had a date that night at McDonald’s with some dude. Knowing my bf he would either confront me then and there or show up at the McDonald’s to confront me

I wanted to teach him a lesson not to read my things so when the time came, I told him I was going to McDonald’s.  He let me go and when I got there I put a sign I made on the table that said

“Caught you” and “why did you read my diary”

When he showed up to the McDonald’s to “confront me” he got pissed because I lied to him and made him think I was cheating.

I told him that he also lied by not admitting he read my dairy. He’s now pissed at me and I just want to know, AITA?

TLDR ; I tricked my bf into thinking I was cheating so I could prove he was reading my diary, then he got pissed at me when he fell for it. ######

Response: NTA, he should not for any reason be reading your diary. I don't say this lightly, but he maybe shouldn't be your bf anymore. He does not respect boundaries. ######


Prompt:
So for the last 7 or so years, my two brothers and I have always shared a GameStop pro rewards account because it's just cheaper to do it like that. To make it fair, we rotate who pays the approx $20/year for it. This year it came time for renewal and my middle brother noticed that it really had been just him and I paying for it and my youngest brother never paid for it. I paid for it every two years and my middle brother paid for it the other years. So the youngest has been skipping out, but has been using the account.

We confronted him and told him that he needed to start paying his share. We let him know what day it was due and how much it was. Now in his defense, he does have a small child to take care of, but he always seems to have money to spend on other frivolous things like marijuana, paraphernalia, take out, etc so his excuse was kinda tossed out the windows. We told him pay his share or we're changing the number.

Last week, when the account came due (about a month later), I went in to get middle brother a gift for getting a promotion and they informed me that the program needs to be renewed within the next couple of days or it would cancel out. Rather than to risk it, I paid for it to renew it and changed the number. I called middle brother and informed him what the number was changed to so he could continue accessing it. Today I received a phone call from my parents fussing at me about how I shouldn't have changed the number and how he was going to pay me, and I should've just been more patient.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, he said he's going to pay you? Great. Once you receive payment, give him access. ######


Prompt: Okay so I realize this sounds like the plot to a porno with a mom walking in on her son but I couldn't think of a better way to write this. Basically I went upstairs to my son's room to ask what he felt for supper, I knocked on the door a few times and called his name but got no answer. I assumed he was asleep so I opened the door to walk him up and there he was with his pants down and noise cancelling  headphones on. He yelled at me and told me that I should have known not to come into his room but personally I feel I did everything I could, I knocked several times, called his name and only opened the door when he wouldn't answer me. Should I have just left the door called and waited for him to eventually come out? ######

Response: NTA, he learned a valuable lesson about not wearing noise cancelling headphones for watching porn ######


Prompt:
Background info:
I have a full-time job, but I also do crochet work on the side for extra money. I take requests and ask for money up front so in case they back out or I can't get in contact with them, I didn't just waste time and material.

Back in December, my best friend asked me to make him a Sasuke doll from Naruto for a friend of his for her present. Since he's my best friend, I told him he could pay me later.

A couple of months went by and he never paid me. His excuse was "I haven't given it to her yet." I told him it didn't matter because I made the doll and wanted my payment.

A few weeks ago, I got a request to make both Naruto and Sasuke. I told my friend to give me back the doll since he clearly wasn't going to pay me and he wasn't going to give it to the other person.

After he gave it back, it was nowhere near in the condition I had given it to him. He left the doll by the window for who knows how long and it got sun bleached pretty badly. I spent roughly 6-9 hours making the doll (I've only been crocheting for about a year, so it still takes me a while). I was upset and told him off for not respecting my work or taking what I do seriously. I told him to never even ask for anything because after seeing what he does to my work, I don't want to put in the hours to see it ruined.

Did I overreact because I take my work too seriously? ######

Response: NTA, he didn't pay you, he has absolutely no right to be upset. You definitely shouldn't do work for him until he pays you. ######


Prompt:
I’ll do my best to keep this brief.

Earlier this week my parents came to visit my wife and I because we recently had another child. While they were visiting, my father used a word, which I won’t repeat, but it ends with a hard R, and I told him he can’t use that word in front of my children or in my home. Good time to mention my father and I are both white, my wife and children are not.

After some pretty low powered excuses for why he’s not a racist and how it’s just a word, I eventually said to him “You know, you may not think you’re a racist, but at the very least you’re complicit, so you should really drop the white supremacist bull shit, because your white fucking bloodline dies with me.” This is when he stormed out of the house, and out of the yard slamming every door he came across. I’ll mention, it was also the date on which my older brother would’ve turned 34 had he not passed two years ago.

Broke the latch on my fence gate, which I repaired today, Fathers Day ironically. That was Wednesday. After my mom and dad returned home (about a 6 hour drive), he texted my wife saying he was very sorry he left without saying goodbye to her or my kids. Today he finally texted me to wish me a happy Father’s Day and day he loved me. Honestly, I’m still pissed. My father has a history of pulling crap like this and then pretending nothing happened so that I look like the jerk for not ignoring the fact that he was in the wrong and wants to move forward without apologizing or even acknowledging he has done anything wrong.

There’s plenty of other examples of this kind of behavior from him in my past that I decided to forgive and forget (even though he never apologized) after my only brother died, but I am not going to tolerate racism and if he wants a relationship with his son or grandkids, I think he should apologize and I’m ignoring him until he does. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA, he didn't even apologize for his actions wtf. You can't just apologize for "being rude" and leaving without saying goodbye without apologizing for offending everyone and not being able to see the error of his ways? Also you aren't obligated to celebrate family, especially if/when they are being shitty towards you and your family. It seems like your dad hasn't even truly accepted your wife and kids as family so why bother celebrating him. Also x2 HELLOOOOo the impact that has on your children to be called said word????? Ik you didn't mention ages but no matter what age they are there's most definitely a heavy influence on them. ######


Prompt:
So ever since the protests started my brother (19) has been making racist comments to my family about it. I'm (21) a criminal justice major and have learned a lot about systemic racism so I've been trying to help my family understand what's happening and why. I warned my brother to never say any of the stuff that he says around us to anyone else, but he didn't listen.

Sure enough my brother was "exposed" on a girl's Instagram story with screenshots of him saying racist things in a chat with his friends. Since the girl that posted the screenshots was in my grade my family asked me to talk to her and get her to take it down since it may "ruin my brothers college acceptance." I told my family no and that he needs to be publicly ridiculed since nothing that I've said was going to get through to him.

Then the post spread and now practically everyone has seen the message and has been messaging me about it saying things like "wow I can't believe your brother is so racist" and "wow how can you let him say things like this." In response I posted something saying how I do not condone his actions and am deeply disappointed.

Now my brother says that I am "dead to him" and my family won't talk to me because I didn't back my brother and "betrayed the family." I've asked my brother to sit and talk with me about it but he's refusing to and saying that I've done too much damage and that he doesn't want to speak to me again.

My mom keeps telling me that I need to apologize to him in order to make the family "begin to heal" but I don't feel as though I'm in the wrong.

Should I apologize? Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: Nta, he can suffer the consequences to his own action and your family enabling him will ruin his college acceptance and his future. ######


Prompt:
Hi everybody. It’s me. Again.

I recently went to Walmart with my mom and younger siblings and my younger brother (9, autistic which is relevant because of what my mom said) was preparing for summer camp. My mom said he needed to pick a towel. He picked a pink one with pretty butterfly’s. I said,”good choice, bub.” And my mom immediately looked upset. She asked him,”don’t you want one that’s less girly?” He started crying. She was like,”fine, whatever. Get that one.” I pulled him aside and told him that it’s okay to like things that other people consider girly because objects aren’t gendered and he should just pick what he liked. My mother was fuming. He wanted to window shop in the toy aisle so we walked over there and while he was browsing, she told me that I was way out of line and he’s already autistic and she doesn’t want to give kids one more thing to pick on him for. Now I’m 19. I told her this isn’t the 90s. Kids don’t do shit like that and I was a kid a very short time ago so I should know but she berated me over and over for it and we got in another argument about it today.

TL;DR: AITA for telling my brother to like whatever he wants despite what my mom says?

So reddit, AITA here? She’s making me second guess myself. ######

Response: NTA, good job sticking up for someone who can't do it for themselves. The morals he learns now will carry on in his life and you never know what could be a pivotal moment. Thank you for your part ######


Prompt:
It's an open secret in my office that my boss, one of those raving fundamentalist types, puts things like ideological conformity first and foremost when doling out opportunities for advancement.

Yes, I know that's technically illegal, but we're in the middle of nowhere, Arkansas and half the time the police won't even respond to a burglary in progress, let alone petty shit like this. Plus I wouldn't put it past them to side with my boss, given how common people like her are around here.

I got the idea of maybe faking a religious persuasion along the lines of what my boss holds, purely for the sake of climbing her little list of who to favor?

It's kind of scummy, sure, but it's the only way to advance around here - trust me, I've tried looking for other work in my field, and there isn't any unless I move completely out of state - and it's not like she should be using this as a criteria anyways. ######

Response:
 NTA, go nuts.  If he's going to pay more based on religion, exploit that moron.

The problem is, you might get sick to your stomach trying to fake being a fundy.  I know I would. ######


Prompt:
My so called friends won’t invite me to their houses or to parties because I don’t drink. I don’t drink alcohol because my father used to be an alcoholic and I have a lot of health problems. I’ve told my friends multiple times that I don’t care if they drink, but I won’t. They will not invite me places because of this and they make up lies saying “I’m scared of alcohol”. I have no desire to drink alcohol, but I would like to be invited to social occasions.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA, get better friends suited to your lifestyle ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend and I do not live together but we want to. He has told me that he wants dogs, specifically Husky's and German Shepherds. I am on board with this but I want them to be raised to my standards. He wants them to be like his grandparent's dogs (he lives with them) but I would want them to be kind of like my parent's dogs.

His grandparents' dogs jump, bark all the time, Beg, are not spayed, nails aren't cut (So they constantly cut his younger siblings), never get exercised, and they always have food in their bowl.

my dogs at home do not jump up unless invited up, nails are always cut, are fixed, Get fed at the same time every day (7:30 am and 7:30 pm. it helps keep them at a healthy weight), They beg but stop when told no, barely ever bark and when they do they stop when told to, and get plenty of exercise.

I also tell him our dogs will not be overweight as that means an unhealthy dog and can lead to health problems, especially since he wants bigger dogs.

He always says I'm crazy when I tell him this and he has even called me an asshole for it, telling me we should not be so strict with dogs since they act how they want to. So AITA for setting these rules or am I okay? ######

Response:
 NTA, German Shepherds and Huskies are very big and can be uncontrollable and chaotic if not well trained.

If he can’t handle that kind of discipline and think those standards you’ve laid out are too crazy, then maybe you need to rethink getting a dog, or atleast breeds that are so high maintenance.

Training and discipline is essential for dogs. I don’t know why he would think you’re the asshole for that. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday, i went to walk my dog and one of my neighbors, who i’m friendly enough with but definitely not friends with, was outside with her two small children. I’m not sure of their ages but I think they’re about 5 and 7. I asked her how everything was going for them. She said that it was fine but that her kids were going a bit stir crazy.

I offered to give them a little kiddie pool (the plastic kind you can buy for like $15 at Walmart) that I had in my shed. My husband and I bought it when my dog was a puppy but now he is too big to use it. I even said that I would clean it for her because i’m sure it’s a bit dusty from just being in the shed. She laughed and said no thanks and that she never wanted a pool in her yard because it is “trashy.” I was a little taken aback but i just basically said ok.

Her boy heard and was like “Anna (not my real name) has a pool? Can we get it, mom? Pleaseeee?” My neighbor then said that she wanted the pool. I told her no and that I would keep my trashy pool in my trashy yard. I was definitely annoyed at this point. The boy and girl then started to ask me for the pool and I said that if their mom wanted to get them a pool, she could do it herself. My neighbor gave me a dirty look and then i went back to my house.

I told my husband what happened and he was upset with me. He said that she shouldn’t have called it trashy but that he didn’t understand why i was punishing the kids for something the mom did and that the fact that I could tell a kid “no” for something I could easily do was “cold” of me. He’s now worried about how i’ll treat our future children! I think this is an absolutely insane overreaction. I just didn’t feel like doing anything for someone who called something I own trashy. In my opinion, it’s not a big deal at all so i’m really confused here. Aita? ######

Response: NTA, fuck that lady ######


Prompt:
My friend (M 20) frequently complains about  his lack of  men to date.  He isn't unattractive but he is no male model.  He however has very narrow tastes when it comes to men.  He wants a tall,  ripped male model who isn't feminine in any way. Which I've  always found  pretty shallow.

Yesterday,  while he was complaining about how he must be so ugly because none of these 10 /10 men would date him and that he will never find a decent guy to date,  i told him that  he needed to have more realistic expectations.  Most people aren't  perfect models  and the epitome  of masculinity so he needs  to be open to dating less attractive  people  and not be so shallow because he is also not a 10/10

He accused me of attacking  his self-esteem and not being a good friend for telling  him he's  unattractive and ridiculing him for having standards. I feel justified  in what i said because i he needs a wakeup call but maybe i shouldn't have told  him he's not that attractive (he has had issues with  self-esteem in the past so i feel guilty for bringing up his looks) ######

Response: NTA, friends keep it real with each other.  Sometimes this means a reality check. ######


Prompt:
I've known for a while now that my brother is in prison for something serious and my mother and family friend, who know the whole situation, haven't told me what for because he doesn't want people to know.

I've had no reason to care about his screw ups until recently, when I joined the navy with a job that requires a security clearance. At first I didn't care because my recruiter said i would be fine, unless he did something monumentaly stupid, but then at a friend's graduation party the family friend, who knows all, hinted that I should be worried.

Once I got home I went online and did a criminal background check on my brother to see if it was going to affect me. I got the check back and, oh boy, let's just say he's not allowed around schools if he ever gets out of prison.

I kept it to myself, until he kept calling her during our weekly dinner where he was trying to say things to me and I told her "I don't have a brother, so I don't know who he's talking to", she asked me what I ment and I told her I found out what he did. She was still on the phone with him so he heard that I found out and got mad. My mom got mad too saying things about how I ignored his wishes, went around her back, blah blah blah. I then shot back with something along the lines of, he lost his right to hide things from me the second it could affect my ability to hold a job i want.

My mother is now mad at me and isn't talking to me, apparently my brother is mad too, but the family friend who tipped me off is neutral and is the one feeding me info about my mother. Other than that, no family members or friends know about what's going on. AITA for looking into my brothers criminal history after finding out it might affect my ability to get a job i want and being left in the dark about it. ######

Response: NTA, former CTM here, those clearances are not anything to fuck around with, granted it sounds like what he did was terrible, typically anything in public record pike that they dont care about since it cant be used for things like blackmail, but it is still something you want to give your investigators a heads up about whrn you meet with them in boot camp and A school, knowing his crime makes it look a lot better than saying you dont. ######


Prompt:
My friend and her toddler came over to play in my yard. I was working in the garden planting some fairly specific heirloom tomatoes I special ordered from a local farm.

I gave my friend’s child and my own some gardening tools and told them they could dig in an empty bed. Meanwhile my friend and I were chatting as I worked.

A minute later I looked over and realized her child had somehow gotten ahold of these plants off a nearby table. He had mangled them to the point they were no longer plantable. I tried to hide my frustration.

She shrugged and said “Toddlers, always ruining stuff.” I get it, she’s not wrong, when my child was a toddler she wasn’t destructive, but that’s generally the exception.

When I said in exasperation, “oh man! Those were hard to come by tomatoes!” she said that next time I should move things out of reach and that she would pick up the drink tab next time we go out.

The plant cost about $15 but it’s more the rarity in finding it that bothers me, not the money.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, for me it doesn't even matter what kind of tomatoes they were. If my child destroy's something at someone else's house im going to instantly offer to replace it because it's common courtesy to do so. ######


Prompt:
During quarantine I made a new group of friends on an app (two other girls and two guys).  One of our first conversations was about the MCU and we were playing “Fuck, Marry, Kill” with the Avengers. I was asked to choose between three of the guys, and I replied that I resented not having Scarlett Johansson as an option. Everyone laughed (well, typed “hahaha”) and agreed to swap out one of my options. I didn’t realize at the time that everyone took this as me telling them I was a lesbian, I was just joking around about the fact that I think Scarlett Johansson is objectively the most attractive team member. That was about a month ago and I forgot all about it.

But then last night we met up in person for the first time and got into a conversation about Pride Month, and I realized that everyone thought I was a lesbian. I clarified that I identify as straight and am currently dating a guy. Everyone said that I told them I was a lesbian. I asked when and they brought up the game of “Fuck, Marry, Kill.” I said that was just a game and I didn’t mean anything by it. They said that was “pretty shitty because it’s like I’m misrepresenting myself and trivializing queer identity to sound quirky or interesting or whatever.” I said I was sorry if it was shitty and that I wasn’t trying to mislead anyone. We stopped talking about it, but the rest of the night was kind of awkward and then this morning I got left on read in the group chat.

So now I’m wondering if they’re overreacting or if I really was that insensitive. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, finding someone of the same sex attractive does not make you gay. ######


Prompt:
English isn’t my first tongue so bear with me people

And yes there is a post in r/advice speaking about my problem

I (18 f) am a food photographer (very amateur one but working on it). My family uses me way too much for free gigs which i am trying to stop.

One day i was going to ask my mom something about ordering some gear and she just interpreted me and said “(my name) i am very proud of you that you volunteered to your aunt to do a photoshoot for her to be born son”

I didn’t volunteer but mom was sure her sister didn’t lie so i was kinda forced to do it as a really care for mom’s feelings.

Fast forward the day after he was bored i was called by my cousin asking when i will shoot the baby
I was half asleep and i told her i had an exam and an online lecture (true)
She told me they are expecting me to come and i was like ok whatever

Today i had some good sleep and went to their house at the afternoon to see the baby and attend a small religious celebration (not christian) and when i first arrived with my camera and a small soft box

My cousin snapped at me telling me i am not using that strong light on her bro (girl i know my business)
And i was like yeah sure
And then i was told by the family that they don’t want me doing the photoshoot as they already did it(i was actually happy when informed because babies aren’t my forte) but they were pissed telling me I didn’t keep my promise to them and so on so on

After the celebration i went home to study my other exam(pray for me) and got my equipments and left

Well they didn’t call me the AH but i knew they think about me like that and i am quite sure I wasn’t an AH but i want your opinion people ######

Response: Nta, family/relative are always like this. They think they are entitled  to everything. ######


Prompt: Yeah so my friend had exposure at work and she got tested, alright that’s the reality of life now. Fast forward 10 says later, still no test results. Well i find out a couple Tuesday’s ago that her results were actually positive- she found out on a Monday- and doesn’t  bother to tell me despite being around me and others. Her husband actually spilled the beans. I was around her during this time and my husband was leaving a couple days later to visit family, namely his Mother who is immune compromised due to chemo. I was a little upset and all I texted was “you do know you can still spread it and don’t you think you should have told me?” Her response “well I feel fine.” I did not respond further. I found out a few days later she tells a mutual friend how I “hurt her feelings.” I’m just floored at how selfish this seems and tbh it’s affecting my friendship with her because I feel her behavior is disturbing. I’m not trying to be overly dramatic but like most everyone, I have a job, a family and don’t want to get sick and infect others or miss work or God forbid face hospitalization. But now she’s pretty cold towards me. Did I handle this wrong? ######

Response: NTA, excuse my french but what a dickhead, I’d have deleted her from my life by now ######


Prompt:
My older sister and I are very different. She’s very loud, very “open” and pretty shameless. This is why whenever she comes over to my mom’s apartment (where I am currently living because I had to flee my college housing), she has no problem ripping off her shirt to change or to show us that he boobs are bigger/smaller than the week before (shes 24 and for some reason hasn’t adjusted to the fact that they fluctuate with her cycle I guess??).

I however am a bit more reserved. Because of this, I immediately turn away from my sisters bare tits whenever she whips them out in the middle of the living room. Yes, sometimes I say “[Name], Really?” Or something similar, because it genuinely makes me uncomfortable.

This is not something we grew up doing, either. We had separate rooms and stopped bathing together at an early age. My mom uses the bathroom (#1) with the door open, but only when appropriate and when she’s technically out of direct line of sight. (My sister, on the other hand, will leave the door open in the hallway bathroom where she can be seen, heard, and smelled while taking a fat shit, technically not what im asking about but kinda relevant)

Anyways, so one day she rips off the top, I turn away, she goes off, “We’re all girls! What will you do when you have a kid? When you have to bathe them? Well it makes me feel really shitty when you react like that.”

So, am I being a snob/asshole? This is dumb but its been bugging me... ######

Response: NTA, everyone has different levels of comfort when it comes to nudity, gender or sexuality aside, what she's doing is rude because she knows it makes you uncomfortable. ######


Prompt:
I might have overreacted, but here goes. I (25f) have a 30 year old sister, and she is very controlling and loves telling me what to do, as well as our two brothers. Bit of a control freak who involves herself in everyone's business. She's a bit obsessed with my hair, it's thick and hers is very thin, so you know what I mean there, wishes she had hair like mine. She's always touching it, playing with it, stuff like that. Whatever, doesn't bother me that much.

We're all still at home, I definitely cannot afford to get my own place for another while and she is looking for a house close to the family house and her work. There have been instances when I am in the bath washing myself, and she will come in to wash her hands or brush her teeth. I don't think she comes in with the deliberate intention of this, but she still does it and the last time I lost it. When she is standing there doing her stuff, she will watch me washing my hair. This isn't prolonged or anything, but she still does it. Standing at the sink doing whatever and watching me.

The last time this happened I lost it. Screamed at her to fuck off and that she's a creep and a pervert. She's always been the golden child, so I got told off by our mum to stop shouting and sister had the gall to tell me to stop shouting as well and to watch my language. I might have overreacted but I think it's unfair to just stand there watching your own sister, naked in the bath having a wash and commenting on how she washes her hair, not having any boundaries for someone else's privacy and dignity. I know that she didn't come in deliberately to watch but that's not the point. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, everyone deserves privacy in a bathroom and it is perverted to stand there watching someone shower naked without their express permission to do so ######


Prompt:
So this might be a long one but here goes. My girlfriend (F22) and I (M25) have been living together for about 2 years, during those 2 years I have been studying while at the same time working a part time job while my girlfriend has been working full time.

We have seperate accounts but we split rent, electricity and groceries evenly.

However when something has to be paid for e.g. new phone, new clothes, feeding for the guinea pigs/fish I pay, basically anything that isn't the standard things I pay for it.

My reasoning for this is: its easier to keep track of expenses this way and it doesn't matter who's account it comes out of since it is our money anyway, because whenever we discussed these types of things we both agreed it was both our money.

So now for my last year of studying I wont be able to work since I have to do like a full time intership with a thesis. Sorry I told her we could use some of the money we saved to pay for my college (about €10.000) and she told me I should save up for it on my own so I will be doing my best more (I have the money because everything that I always have left over I invest in the stockmarket).

So I have done what she said and I now only buy stuff for myself since what I thought was our money has now apparently become her money.

So today when she asked me to come with her buy more fish for the aquarium I told her since she decided to buy it without discussing it with me when I was gone, its her aquarium so I wont be helping her pick out fish nor pay for it since our finances are now apparently separate.

She's now saying I can use "our" money to use for college but I declined and said I'd rather save up for it myself and keep our finances separate.

So reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, Every couple goes through financial problems when living together. I'd suggest

1) Both having Separate Bank Accounts and one Joint account.

2) Both transfer enough money for bills, shopping, rent etc and agree on an amount for entertainment and savings, rainy day fund, Holiday fund put that in the account too.

3) What's left is upto yous to do what you want with the rest.

That's the formula me and my OH use. We both still have our own money after we pay bills etc. Any nights out together, purchases for the house come out of the joint account. While if I go out with the lads I'll use my own money. Likewise she wants to go clothes shopping she will use her own money....

15 years together and married for ten of those so it works for us. Important to have your own money to spend every months... ######


Prompt:
It's recently come to light that my parents have used my SSN to run up a little over $15,000 of debt that's now in collections. My credit is ruined and my plans of saving for post-grad school have just flown out the window. The only way to have it removed would be to file a police report against my parents to have the debt declared fraudulent. I'm pretty sure this is a felony, but I haven't spoken to any lawyers or anything.

Before you say obviously NTA, I'm hesitating because my parents take care of my elderly grandmother. Since her husband died, she is alone basically all the time except for when my parents are around as my family is very small. My mother is also a nurse and helps my grandmother out with any medical care she needs (she's not sickly enough to need full time care, just when things come up).

I live out of state and can't afford to help my grandmother if my parents were to go to jail/(prison?). WI BTA if I followed through with the police on this? ######

Response:
 NTA, even with them taking care of your elderly grandmother. They should not be taking advantage of your line of credit and leaving you in a bad situation.

Especially because you don’t even know if they’re using it on her, or for luxuries for themselves. It really sucks that you are in this situation but please make sure to take care of your needs first. Don’t be too compassionate that you end up getting screwed over. ######


Prompt: I told her I felt it was misleading to make me think she couldn’t afford to pay for her car battery if times were so tough and she can justify getting her nails done when I’m struggling to make it myself. Mind you she is on a fixed income, disabled, retired, and receives government compensation (social security/disability/drives Uber) for all of her bills, necessities, and fun. I’m a healthcare worker who works full time with 2 roommates out of work and on unemployment applying to grocery stores for work. We are making it work but I am trying to support us adoring this crisis with what I can but I can’t help but feel this is super selfish and wrong. ######

Response: NTA, even though the nail tech price and the car battery price don't sound comparable, she's still using up x amount of dollars on her nails that she otherwise could've saved up. It's a shame that she's taking funds away from you when you're kind enough to care for 2 others. NTA for trying to make her understand how ridiculous her choice was. ######


Prompt: I’m a 30 year old male with high functioning autism. The other day my brother told me to stop fucking around and get my shit together so I can get married and have kids. I told him that we already had this conversation. I don’t want kids. I pass for normal but I had difficulty with learning and social interactions growing up. They don’t understand how difficult it really is. If I am going to get married it would be to another autistic person which raises the likelihood of our child having it too. I don’t want to take the chances of my kid being what I am or worse off. I’m also pretty unhealthy. My L5 is messed up and I’m in constant pain. My dad suffered from constant pain from a leg injury he had. He missed out on a lot of my childhood before he died of a heart attack when I was 7. I don’t want to have a kid and have them be without a dad. My past partners have all been autistic and super irresponsible. No one that I would trust raising a child. Similar to my mom who had a everything will work itself out mentality which led to my siblings getting into a lot of trouble. My brother wasn’t happy about this and stormed off because his kids needs cousins. You want the best for your kids and I don’t even see my kids having an ok life so why would I try. The kid would likely be mentally retarded due to both parents having the gene. The person I’m seeing is basically a child in a adult woman’s body. I have no trust in her. Even if I took better care of myself I still have a lot of health issues that could take me out before the kid grows up. Am I the AITA for not wanting to bring a child into a shitty situation? ######

Response: NTA, even if you didn't have autism.  Don't let people shame you into doing something you don't want to do. ######


Prompt:
I’m a 25 year old guy, responsible with my money and have great credit. I opened a joint bank account with my dads name on the account back when I was 16 and working my first ever job. I use the same account now, mostly just for convenience. I don’t want to have to update my payment info on iTunes, Amazon, student loans, etc.
So anyway, I woke up this morning and found my parents had went in and taken $1500 out of my account without telling me. They had booked a vacation for our family next month and needed to borrow it due to not having enough in their own account. I know they’ll pay it back, they always do. But I wish they had told me first. I was going to use that to buy some car parts, and now I have to wait for them to repay me, however long it takes. I’m not mad, just annoyed and thinking I’m at the age where I should have a bank account without my dads name on it. They’re great parents and do a lot for me, but I’m starting to not like how they have access to my account and can see my balance and recent purchases at my age. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, even if still living at home, you are entitled to a lot more privacy at 25. Also, your money is your money, they should have asked rather than assuming you would be fine with it. ######


Prompt:
My neighbors have an active 2 year old who is outside constantly. They often supervise him but he runs away pretty fast and sometimes evade their views. He is constantly playing on my front porch and flower bed. Moving my rocks and flower bed coverings etc. They sometimes catch him quickly enough and move him away but sometimes they also just let him continue playing there.  I feel petty because it sounds like not a big deal but there are 3 issues that I have with this.

1) I have a motion doorbell so when he plays in my porch area, it goes off on my alerts constantly. Yes I can turn off the notifications but then I wouldn’t get notifications for when I actually have visitor which is what it’s there for.

2) it riles my dog up like crazy so him to see a little toddler outside playing so close. So my dog ends up barking like crazy for the duration of his play

3) I have a fairly large window well to the basement window which is about 2.5-3ft deep. It is completely uncovered and fully open in the flower bed.

This is my biggest concern that the kid will run into the flower bed and fall in the window well. Now I have no kids and I don’t want to put a grate on it bc it obstructs my view in the basement. And in general, no adults would step in there but since this kid keeps playing in there, I’m worried that I’m liable for any injuries!

So today, he was playing with in the flower bed again with his caregiver watching. I went up to my front window to gesture like what are you doing?? And the caregiver pulled the kid away while looking disgusted at me. Reddit: AITA here?? ######

Response:
 NTA, especially since your neighbors "often" supervise him. Which implies that they sometimes **don't** supervise him. Who the feck lets a 2 year old wander outside (except for fenced-in backyards, etc) without constant supervision??

There are three kinds of people: absent-minded parents, stupidly negligent parents, and looking-to-sue-someone parents. ######


Prompt:
Hi everyone.

I live in a small town in the southern US with my wife and two daughters (8 and 10). My wife and I own property on the same block we live on and we rent those properties out. I’ve been a landlord for over a decade and usually, it’s not a bad experience.

My wife and I receive unemployment and are therefore not relying on money from our tenants right now. We are not requiring them to pay rent for the time being, as long as they abide by rules set in place by our state’s governor. This is outlined in an e-doc they’ve all signed.

Our next door neighbors have been fucking abysmal. They have 15-20 people over all day, every day, grilling out and chasing their guests’ unleashed dogs down the block. It’s unsafe, unsanitary and it breaks the guidelines I set for waiving their lease. I’ve had two discussions with one of the tenants about this behavior and both times they apologized and said they’d follow the rules more closely. No luck.

Today my girls ran upstairs bawling their ever loving heads off. One of the neighbor’s friend’s big dogs had gotten into our yard again, and this time into my girls’ (newly built, with very fragile young sprouts) garden bed and trampled everything. My girls are going through enough right now and they have worked so hard on this thing. I just saw red.

I stormed over and I have to admit got *incredibly* testy with the tenant, saying “I’ve warned you twice. I’ll expect rent on the fifteenth or you can get the fuck out and be someone else’s headache.”

I came back home and my wife was asking what happened. I told her and she was appalled. She said I had every right to be angry, but it’s a garden, the plants will grow back. She said re-instating rent was a horrible thing to do and it seemed like it was more about power than controlling the situation with their behavior.

My wife is a pretty reasonable person, so I’m taking that pretty hard. Am I being a bastard? Give it to me straight. ######

Response: NTA, especially since it sounds like they’re breaking the social gathering limit in a time like this. ######


Prompt: I'm from the rural midwest and my girlfriend is from a highly popuated area in Australia. Growing up I always drank milk with nearly every meal and I never viewed it as strange until I met my girlfriend. She pointed out that drinking milk with certain meals (pizza, spaghetti, etc) is really gross to her and that I was gross for doing it. She argues that when we eat together that I should refrain from doing it and drink something else instead because she is disgusted by it. AITA for drinking milk with meals that I eat with her? ######

Response: NTA, eat whatever the fuck you want. Are you dunking your pizza in your milk and pouring milk into your spaghetti? /s ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account.

So... Long story short, my best friend got divorced after cheating on her husband. They tried to make it work for months before it came to that, even though she was still in a relationship with the other person, unbeknownst to the ex husband. It was.... A lot. And messy. But I supported her the best I could long distance, not judging her, just wanting her to make the best decision given the circumstances.

Fast forward about 6 months from the actual divorce, and well over a year since this all started. BFF is still with the other guy, and her ex has moved on and now has a gf. I remained friends with the ex on social media because I like him. I think he is a good person. Also, she never unfollowed him and continued to like his posts including pictures of him and his new girl. I MADE SURE that she had liked one of their photos before I started liking his stuff again!

Last week he posted a cute picture with her with a #wcw tag and I liked the picture. A day or so ago BFF texted me telling me it really hurt her that I like his posts about his new girlfriend. I was really apologetic but also pointed out that she had been liking their photos together so I didn't think it would bother her.  She accepted my apology but went on to explain that basically he moved on from their relationship too quickly after pretending to work on it, so she was hurt..... Even though she was seeing the other dude all the while?! I was flabbergasted, and now I'm frustrated with the whole situation.

Sounds really dumb and it is, but I would like an outsider's opinion.

Am I an asshole for liking his pictures? ######

Response: NTA, dude it's a picture and SHE cheated on HIM not the other way around ######


Prompt:
My (24f) boyfriend (28m) wants me to potentially reverse the tubal ligation surgery I had. For reference, I had the surgery for a variety of reasons, including that there are several genetic issues within my family that I would be hesitant to pass on.

He has said that he would pay for it because he wants bio kids one day, but due to issues with my physical and mental health, I don't think it's safe, and I would prefer to adopt.

Am I being the unreasonable one here? ######

Response: NTA, double down and get a salpingectomy to remove them. Him asking that of you makes my skin crawl. Good for you for making that decision for yourself and don’t ever let anyone question it. ######


Prompt:
Caught my neighbor spraying weedicide on my lawn (in my fenced in backyard) because she said “she was sick of all the weeds” and thought she was doing me a solid.

1. I like dandelions they are good for the bees

2. I have pet rabbits, dogs, cats, and a tortoise i like to roam the yard and all of them eat or at least nibble and lick the grass so it’s literally poisoning my pets.

So anyway, I kick her the fuck out and take all my pets inside.

Now 2 of my rabbits are dead and another is in critical condition. I’ll never be able to let my pets outside again to eat the grass because weedicide takes forever to go away because it can sit in the soil for who knows how long and Im worried that the dogs and cats might end up having a reaction too since they also nibble the grass (call me overprotective or over cautious IDC I love my animals)

So I’m suing her for: damage to my property because it is now unusable for my animals, veterinary bills, and emotional damage due to the deaths of my two rabbits.

I’m also trying to get the cops to pursue a case of animal abuse or at minimum criminal damage because she did basically poison my animals but I doubt anything will come from it because I have to prove ill-intent but they are pursuing her for criminal trespass.

She’s a Karen. I think she deserves it for thinking she had any right to be on my property at all; and especially because it’s killed my pets and now Idk what to do about my lawn because I’m not risking another animal’s life by letting them out (at least unsupervised for at least a year. However my parents and my girlfriend think I’m being unnecessarily cruel because it “was an accident and she thought she was just being a good neighbor, and that Im making it to be a bigger deal than it is” and should just ask for her to pay my vet bills ######

Response:
 NTA, don't trespass, don't mess with peoples property, if you want to do something "nice" ask permission.
Idk if removing your toplayer and putting turf down would make it safe for pets again but if so she should pay for that ######


Prompt:
I am a college student due to graduate in 2021. My parents are funding all expenses, and I'd graduate with no student loans.

Last year, brother came out as gay, and was disowned and cut off from all financial support. I've privately told him that I'm 100% supportive, and have been sneaking him money by scrimping on luxuries and giving him the excess where possible. Unfortunately, I don't think he did the right thing by coming out when he did as he too only has one more year to go and could have also graduated with no debt.

He has since said it would be very much appreciated if I put my money where my mouth is and cut my parents off too, or /he/ would cut me off for his own health.

I do plan to do that, but only after next year and then I'll go low contact. My brother says this is not enough and I am not supportive of him.

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA, don't jump on his grenade. ######


Prompt:
My sister has two children. One is a girl (age 6) and the other a boy (age 2). When the girl first began to walk she was somewhat “bowlegged” as they called it but it straightened really quickly. The boy, however, has always had it worse and is has having trouble walking. He can stand, even run, but falls almost constantly. At times he appears to be in pain.

My sister took her son to a doctor who confirmed he  that his knees caps are basically “slipping”. Braces were prescribed for him and a set were specially fitted. We were told he would only need them for a year or so and then, if not better, we can try surgery. At this moment he’s only worn the braces for 10 minutes. My sister says she can’t stand to see him in them and is afraid others will make fun of him. I know it’s difficult but I tried to tell her he must wear them and if not she’s setting him up for more problems later on. She wouldn’t listen and said  I’m just blindly following the doctor without seeing just “his natural progress”. There is none! He’s not getting better at all. The rest of my family is siding with her by always saying “he looks a little better”. There’s been no change and I’m worried he’s going to have major problems with his legs later in life.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, does she want him growing up crippled? That would create far more hardship for him than wearing braces for a few months as a baby (and if anyone makes fun of him, he won't care nor remember, and shame on them for making fun of a literal baby). Poor kid. ######


Prompt:
I (23,F) have been with my boyfriend (25,M) for nearly 18 months now.

We have been living together for the past 5 months in his apartment. We split rent and utilities/food shopping 60/40 based on our income. He earns a little more than me as I've just finished my degree.

We have been lucky enough to be able to continue working throughout this crisis, as we both have jobs which mean we can work from home.

My boyfriend recently won £1,000 (around $1246)on a scratch off lottery ticket. We had a quick discussion regarding the winnings and decided together (he actually suggested it first) that we would put it in a savings account to start a savings fund to buy a house together.

I was very happy with this as his apartment isn't the biggest and we have been discussing possibly starting a family in the near future.

Life continued as normal for a few weeks until I get a text message from my boyfriend telling me to 'come outside'. I leave the apartment and my boyfriend is sat in a beautiful, top of the range Lamborghini. Obviously my first question was 'where did you get this'. He explained that he has a friend who knows a guy who rents his car out for 24 hours at a time for £1,500! He put some of his own money towards his lottery winnings and picked this car up for the day.

Obviously I was livid and refused to have any part of it. My boyfriend was obviously happy as larry swanning around in this car all day driving past friends houses and letting them drive it.

This was last week and things are still very tense, he says he should be able to spend his own winnings on whatever he wants but I think he should have kept to his original promise and put the money away for something productive and beneficial to our future.

AITA?

TL;DR: Boyfriend won 1k on scratch off lottery ticket, agreed to put it towards saving for house fund, rented Lamborghini for the day instead. ######

Response: NTA, do yourself a favour and learn now that this dude is not ready for real commitment. ######


Prompt:
My wife and I recently had a baby when this situation happened, and my in laws came to visit us before our baby was born and stayed with us until I kicked them out of my house and they had to fly back to Canada, my wife and I live in the US.
I woke up early, which I'm use to waking up early, I grab my new born and go downstairs. I make myself some coffee. About an hour after I go downstairs the house is starting to wake up. My wife comes down the stairs and ask me if I would like another cup of coffee, I reply "yes please" and my wife makes me another cup. We use a Keurig. While the Keurig is preparing for the next cup my wife puts her mug under the dispenser. She brings me my cup.

 While she is bringing me my cup her father takes her cup from under the dispenser and puts his cup under the dispenser. My wife says "dad my cup was there" his response was "you know how I am! I have to have my tea and orange juice with my cereal every morning"... I hear this conversation and I ask if "my wife had her cup in place", he said "yes but she knows how I am".... I responded back with " you are just going to have to wait until she is finished"  he got very upset with my comment and proceeded to yell at my wife that she knows better and he is first. I got up from my chair and said this is our house and you will not speak to her in such a way. My father in law proceeded to tell me that he will speak any way he wants to his daughter! I said not in this house! If you cant be respectful of your daughter and my house then it's best if you leave! He storms off pouting like a child and hurriedly packs his things and my mother in law is packing her things now because he demanded she do so.
So AmItheAsshole for defending my wife and kicking them out of our house and forcing them to go back to Canada? ######

Response: NTA, dem be some rude ass guests... ######


Prompt: Hello, i'm a 24 year old Man, and recently somethings happened, i recently moved in to a new neighborhood, and started recycling my trash, and even bought special trash bins for that, no longer after, my neighbour started saying that my "hippie trash" was appearing at his frontyard, and demanded that i payed him to clean it, or put a special blocking fence so that any racoons did the same thing again, i got confused because there were no racoons along the neighborhood, but i payed him and built the fencing, and even started to think about getting cameras, the next week my neighbour said the same thing, and said he was calling the cops if i didn't do anything, i paid him again, cleaned his frontyard and decided to instal cameras, three days after i installed the cameras, i woke up with him almost breaking my door because of trash again, i tried to calm him down while he started calling the cops, i then checked the cameras to discover that not only it wasn't racoons, but himself was taking my trash, and putting in his frontyard so i could pay him and clean, i lost almost 2,000 dollars in him, and i got furious, i knocked on his door, and asked if he had called the cops, he said he didn't did it "yet", so i called them myself, after showing the recordings and explaining the story, he was arrested and was taken away, but now i feel guilty, (i forgot to say he has a 3 year old daughter, that he takes care alone), i don't know if i did right, so, Am i the asshole? ######

Response: NTA, definitely not the asshole. Your neighbor fucked up ######


Prompt:
Yeah, I'm serious. Over the course of the last few months(ever since covid) I've been at home mainly, I decided that I wanted to make the best of the situation and try to improve my Heath, I had always been a bit concious of my body image. By doing some workouts and eating healthier, and drinking a lot of water, I have lost some weight(about 15lbs) and feel better overall.

 Well, whenever is go to the fridge to get water, my(18) dad(50) would kind of give me a dirty look, a few times when I forgot to fill the pitcher and he got on me about it. I made sure that didn't happen again and that there was always water there.

Then, a few weeks ago, my mom came to me and told me that he was complaining that I was drinking too much water and that he noticed an increase in our bill. I laughed and thought she was messing with me but she was dead serious. I couldn't believe he made a deal over me DRINKING WATER. My whole life he's always been on me about little shit that I did despite being overall a pretty good kid, (far improved from the stories I heard about him when he was my age) but I couldn't believe this. I never confronted him about it because even he knew it was ridiculous not coming to me about it. I'm pretty sure I'm not TA here, what do you guys think? ######

Response: NTA, dad's probably cranky because he's dehydrated ######


Prompt:
So I’m a female (23)and my period pain has always been bad (I would pass out in those first few early ones or if I don’t take meds that work for me) BUT I learnt my lesson and now it’s not a walk in the park by any means but I manage.

My sister (20) REFUSES to take the same meds when her period starts, even though time and again we (my mom and I) have given them to her and they work.

This means that she does nothing to reduce her own pain until it gets to the point of vomiting and explosive diarrhea. Then cries that the pain is terrible and no one understands or cares. (We get up and help everytime )

At this point it’s to late to expect a quick turn around time on the meds so then it is crying and vomiting and pooping bonanza.

She does not seem to grasp that she could lesson her pain if she just listened to my mom and I and took the meds when the cramping begins.

Am I being to harsh? My mother feels that we should still be sympathetic every single time but I am over saying the same thing every month.

AITA for starting to lose my sense of compassion towards her and telling her she is on her own if she doesn’t want to try prevent this from happening in the future. Her and my mom are upset that I told her that this is the consequences of not listening and say I am not being compassionate. ######

Response:
 NTA, Compassion burn-out is a real thing,  **but don't be upset with her for not wanting to follow your exact protocol**. Consider talking to her about alternatives to pain pills as that may be why she's hesitant. You don't always have to go running after her if she's vomited from the pain,  but you can show kindness in other ways.

It is not up to you to take care of someone who won't help themselves in their own way.

Edit: typo ######


Prompt:
So my brother just had a baby a month and a half ago with his wife and due to coronavirus we haven't been able to see her until recently.

My mother (62) has been looking forward to meeting her and since the baby has been here with us now for a few days along with my brother and his wife, she has been very helpful with her, and loves bonding with her granddaughter. I have zero issue with this, I think it's absolutely lovely.

Here is where I might be the A.
My mom offered to have the baby sleep with her and my dad during the night. Brother and wife said ok, if they want and that was that, but I, after seeing how they placed her voiced my concerns about it being dangerous for the baby. She sleeps between my mom who is a pretty wide framed lady and my dad. They have conjoined mattresses and there is a gap between the two mattresses where the baby ends up having her head when they fall asleep. She also has her little feet somewhere by/under my moms body and I'm afraid that she might squish her.

I told my mom that I'm worried about the safety of the baby but she says it's a womans instinct to not lay on the baby during sleep. I'm just concerned because she is getting older and is becoming more of a deep sleeper that something bad might happen, but they say I'm too nitpicky and give me angry looks if I say I think something isn't safe.

So, am I the asshole? Do I need to but out? ######

Response: NTA, co-sleeping has accidentally killed many babies and that is a horrible thing to happen. you were just voicing your concerns and that doesn’t make you an asshole ######


Prompt:
Our dog usually eats tinned food or chub rolls, but every now and then she gets a special treat: two packets of ready to eat smoked mackerel from the fish section of the supermarket freezer.

There's usually two or three fillets in each pack. She doesn't get the fillets whole, they're broken up into her bowl. This is easiest to do by hand. I strip the skin off the back, put the fillet back on the packaging, rip the skin apart, then break the fillet up. Every now and then I pop a small piece of fish into my mouth.

When I mentioned this to some of my online friends they said this is wrong, and disgusting. Even though it's from the human section of the supermarket, the fact that it was bought for the dog makes it "off limits" for my eating in their mind.

AITA for eating parts of my dog's meal as I was preparing it for her? ######

Response: NTA, chefs sample their dishes all the time. It'd be a liiiiitttle weird if it was actually the dog-specific food, but smoked mackerel is some good stuff. ######


Prompt:
I'm a 28F and my parents just don't know how to cut the cord. Part of this is due to my 35 year old brother who has been and still is reliant on them. It's more my father than my mother and it's gotten exponentially worse since I bought my own home. I am completely self sufficient and have never asked their help for ANYTHING save maybe an opinion here or there. I am lucky enough to financially maintain my own lifestyle because I work hard to do so. My dad believes everything is an open invitation for him to take control of my life.

I do not want to seem ungrateful because he has done a ton for me with the only caveat being that I never fucking asked for it! When I was first moving into my home he would randomly pop over with this trinket or that furniture that I never even wanted and still don't to this day. It has caused many an arguement and I've even thought about changing the locks on my door. I never even gave him a key by the way, he made a copy of the one I had given my mother to hang on to in case of emergencies. I don't want any of the shit he gives me and I don't need the charity. I just want to live my own life.

The final straw happened today. I'm a nurse, and I work back to back night shift this week. After a grueling 14 hour shift I was finally able to relax enough to close my eyes only to be woken up about 3 hours later by neighbors landscaping. Aggravating but whatever I can't control other people. After tossing and turning I felt like the sound was getting closer...because it was! It was not my neighbors. My father and brother took it upon themselves to come and mow/weedwhip my lawn. I'm literally laying here crying because I'm so tired, aggravated, and just genuinely pissed off.

I don't want to seem like an ungrateful brat but Jesus Christ I just want my boundaries respected. Am I wrong to feel this way? ######

Response: Nta, change your locks and set boundaries.  They will probably be mad at you but if they set their boundaries the you have too. ######


Prompt:
I recently got into a spat with my current boyfriend over this topic.

It started because he wanted to know where I got my Tony chopper plushy from as he wanted to buy one for his sister and I told him that I didn't know because it was a gift from my high school boyfriend. He got kinda bummed out and asked me if I had any other stuff from exes and I was honest. A few books, a Chanel parfumé and some of my earring (not that expensive stuff). We then got in an argument about keeping things from exes. He belives that once the relationship is over you shouldn't keep anything from them because that means that you moved on. My stance is.... That they are objects that I like and throwing them away /gifting them is unnecessary. I don't connect those things to my exes and I don't think about them when I use them. Maybe this comes from the pov that his relationships ended badly where as mine just didn't. My high school bf and I broke up because we were just stupid kids and the other 2 and I noticed we were not going in the same directions so we had a clean cut and are on good terms. We don't talk or anything but if we ever run arround the same circle we can be cordial. His ex cheated on him and the ex before ghosted him so maybe that is that?

So AITA for keeping things from my ex boyfriends? ######

Response: Nta, certainly not over the sort of things that you’re describing. I have things I’ve been gifted by exes that I chose to get rid of because they were deeply personal and it felt inappropriate to keep them but what you’re describing is pretty normal gift items. How long ago did you split up with your high school bf out of interest ######


Prompt:
I (21M) live with my mother (55) and younger sister (16), but I'll be moving out my partner in a month. I have a good relationship with my mother of mutual respect and collaboration, ever since my dad left, we've been a team in keeping the house afloat in term of finances and chores, however, with time, my mother has become messier and messier. What bothers me the most is that she leaves empty bottles, cans and egg shells in the kitchen sink.

I try to do my part but it's a big house and I work full time, I've talked to her multiple times about making my sister help around the house or hiring someone to clean if she's to tired to do things, but she always answers with "maybe" or "we'll see". We've been having ants, roaches and I've seen RATS in the kitchen, and I just get depressed and anxious being here, because I just really, REALLY hate living in this condition.

So one day I send a picture of egg shells and an empty can in the sink to the group chat (were my mother and the rest of my adult siblings are) with something like: "this is why have roaches" to which my siblings answered  with disgusted comments. After a while my mom came a cleaned the kitchen, so every time she leaves trash on the sink, I send a picture and she comes and cleans it. I don't like embarrassing my mother, but I'm tired of telling her that we'll get sick if she keeps leaving shit in the sink! My siblings have told me that I should let it go since I'm moving out soon, but that doesn't change the fact that my mother and my sister will keep living in a shithole if they don't clean more. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, call them out! Roaches and other pests are not sanitary ######


Prompt:
First post, and on mobile.

So I parent my child who's 19 since you wanted to live with me until he enrolls in University. Yesterday was his birthday so I decided to get him a phone. It was an iPhone 7. As soon as I gave it to him that day, he stomped away and gave me back the phone pulling me a piece of ass for getting him an old phone. He's too old for me to spank. I returned the phone back to the store. After I got home and let him know, he verbally lectured me that he changed his mind. I cut him off and told him if he calls me another name he would be moving out. He stomped away and never talked to me since. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, buy your own damn phone. ######


Prompt:
So for context I (16F) live with my mother and two younger brothers.

My mom sometimes enters the bathroom while I’m occupied in it. This doesn’t happen every single time i’m in there, but over the years she has done it quite a lot.

I take around 30 minute showers. Sometimes she needs to use the restroom or she needs to apply her makeup and she just doesn’t wait for me to finish showering. She shouts at on the other side of the door and says, “I’m going to go in!” I shout back no, yet she does it anyways. To do this she gets a fork and picks at the door lock she can open the door.

The thing is I’m not comfortable with her just walking in when I’m taking a shower. I’m uncomfortable with her seeing me naked at this age honestly. When I told her this she said, “Why? You’re a girl and besides, I saw you naked all the time when you were very young.” I retort that she never goes into the bathroom when my younger brothers are taking a shower and she just says “that’s because they are boys. I can’t do that.”

At this point I’m beyond frustrated so I just walk away. The next day while I’m taking a shower the same thing is about to happen and I just lose it. I yelled “You are so fucking annoying” and my mom is so angry. I’ve never sweared or said anything that aggressive like that towards her before.

When I finish showering she goes on a 15 minute rant saying things like how I disrespected her and that she can do whatever she wants because she owns the house.

I am currently grounded. She took my old tablet, she doesn’t let me watch TV, and I’m not allowed to use the house computer. However, I hid my phone away from her and I only use it while not near me and I’m in my room. She’s very angry at me and says that I will stay grounded until I give her my phone. I’m honestly not going to do that and my phone is the only device I use anyways so I don’t really care.

So Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA, buy a cheap plastic door wedge and ram it under the door when you shower. If she picks the lock, the door won't open. ######


Prompt:
I (30f) took on full support of my step-daughter (16f) about 2 years ago. We get no help from her actual mother in any way because laws are complicated. Up until 2 years ago I would have said her mother, her father and myself had a shockingly good working relationship regarding my daughter. Then 2 years ago we got a call from a concerned friend that caused us to take my daughter full time.

Since then it has come to light they were hiding that her mother is an alcoholic, that her mother let her friends and boyfriends abuse my daughter emotional and physically, and that she was spending all of our child support on boyfriends while telling friends we were doing nothing for my daughter at all.

A couple weeks ago my daughter overheard my husband and I upset that her mother had claimed our daughter on her taxes even though she didn’t spend a single night sleeping in her house. Since then my daughter has decided she can ask her mother for all kinds of toys and such because her mother “owes her 4 thousand dollars of support.” I have discussed with her that manipulating people and using people is very wrong, but she says her mother deserves it. I can’t say I don’t agree, but I am concerned that I am just very angry with her. So I am turning to a third party. Am I the asshole for not stepping in for forcefully and making my daughter treat her mother better?

Edit: My daughter does have a therapist but it has been interrupted by covid-19 as she refuses phone therapy. We are doing our best until everything opens up again. ######

Response: NTA, but...clearly this isn’t about toys. It’s about your stepdaughter trying to cope with extremely negative things and perhaps trauma. Manipulating her deadbeat mom is not ultimately going to make her feel better. I hope stepdaughter is in therapy ######


Prompt:
For context, I’m 24 and live on my own.

My little brother Miles is 16 and living with our mom and stepdad.

Miles has had problems in the home, including yelling with his stepdad and mom.

From what miles has told me, his stepdad is verbally abusive to him including telling him that he’s not his real son and that he should get a job and move out as soon as possible.

I was talking to my brother yesterday and he told me that he is so tired of living there and that he wishes he could live with me. (We can bubble with people here now because of Covid).

Apparently our mom heard him saying that he wants to come live with me because she got upset with him and called me saying that he could never come live with me because I’m “irresponsible” and not his “real parent.”

I told her that I’ve been more of a dad than our real dad (he’s in prison) or his stepdad ever has been and she told me that I’m on thin ice and I have to watch my step or I’ll never see him again.

I’m conflicted. I know I’m not his parent but I honestly would take him in. His smart and deserves a good life but at the same time I’m not his parent and I know my mom does love him but she makes bad choices in men.

So AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but... you might want to look into what the legal situation is in your state/country. He is a minor, so I’m not sure at what point it’s truly up to him. You might need to essentially go to court or something but IANAL so take that with a lot of salt. ######


Prompt:
I'm a single dad, 43 years old. Computer programmer. My son, let's call him Jack, is 17 years old. Jack's mom died when he was 10, but thankfully we both handled our grief together quite well.

When Jack got his first laptop, five years ago, I took my time explaining how the internet worked, the dangers, etc. I allowed him to create a social media account, as long as he allowed me to check on it whenever I wanted, which was a privilege I made use of a few times until he turned 15 and I realized I could trust him, having never asked for it since then. He allowed me to know where he stored his account passwords just in case, but I never really looked for them, so his social media and computer activity have been a complete mystery to me in the last couple of years.

However, I was always fearful he would try to hide something or get into something dangerous, so I installed a keylogger just in case, always thinking about his safety. I never had to use it and, the more I watched him grow up, I eventually I realized I would never really use it, but I never bothered to remove it.

My sister and I were talking about this in a casual conversation regarding privacy and privacy apps and my niece overheard us (they were born the same year). She got offended I would do such a thing, claiming it was a horrible invasion of Jack's privacy, and that I should be ashamed, and the only reason she hasn't told my son was because my sister told her she'd ground her for meddling in my parenting.

So, reddit. AITA for having installed a keylogger even though I never had to use it? ######

Response: NTA, but YWBTA if you didn't tell your son that you had it installed when he was a kid and that you were going to uninstall it. explain that you never used it and you just wanted to be safe. say that you're sorry for not trusting him UNINSTALL IT. I totally understand, having a kid at age 12 browsing the internet is a terrifying thing, and i understand why you did that. You're a good dad OP, I hope to see an update where you talk to your son about it and then uninstall it. ######


Prompt:
Ok backstory, this is all pre-covid. My neighbors property borders mine on 2 sides.

We did not have a fence between our yards, and both of us have dogs. I thought it might be advantageous to put one in, so my dogs could run free, without worrying about them getting out. I approached them about splitting the cost of the parts that adjoin our property, since we both would benefit, and he initially agreed.

I sought out a few quotes, and found what I thought was a good contractor, at a good price, and gave him a copy the quotes. Several days go by, and he says he no longer wants to share the cost of the fence. Just to be clear, I don't think it's a financial issue.

Ok, fine. I proceed as planned, this time I'm paying for the full cost, since this would make my dogs safe and happy.

The day of install comes, and our contractor has to reschedule. Bummer, but not the end of the world. That same day, I see a (different) contractor in my neighbors yard putting in...a gate and a few feet of fence going back to side his house.

I see this for what it is, and decide to teach wise-ass a lesson. Install day comes around again, and this time, instead of installing it on the property line, I asked the contractor to set this section back 1 foot.

This now means his gate is worthless since his dog can easily walk around it, unless he connects to the fence I paid for on my property, which he can't legally do, and I refuse to allow.

The wives are pissed at the whole thing, since previously we were all friendly, but it seems to have caused a bit of friction, mostly between the husband and I.

I humbly await your verdict. ######

Response:
 NTA, but your neighbor is. He wants the fence, but doesn't want to pay for the shared portion. Good for you. Be careful, he could claim rights to that portion if he has it long enough, but it's only a foot.

Edit: It's called adverse possession. ######


Prompt:
I had a heated argument with my mother about her lying.

She really likes to talk about me; especially if it's something that SHE thinks is correct, but is in fact a lie.
She thinks that she knows everything about me and that she can read my mind.
Especially in conversations with others where she would talk "for" me.

Today I told her that I really liked the one thing she brought with her about a week ago and wanted to ask her to buy it again sometime.

She looked at my dad and said: "Did you know that she ate it in one sitting?"
I was confused that she would lie about me.
Me: "That's not true."
She ignores me.
I say it again, loudly.
She still ignores me.
Me (yelling because I'm frustrated): "Why would you lie about me? It's not true! You're always doing this! Talking lies about me! Stop it already!"
Then she stormed out whilst saying: "You have cut my last nerve! Leave me in piece!"

I know that I overreacted, but I have tried talking to her so many times without results.

AITA here? ######

Response:
 NTA, but your mother is. No one likes being lied about, and on such a small matter?

I think you should take an approach like another redditor: She was being called the wrong name (Her name was Tina and they called her Tiana, Tiara, Tia, etc) so she started calling *them* the wrong names (Jessica is Jennifer, Chad is Charles, etc). Perhaps you can take a similar approach to your mother. Make small lies about her to her face like she does you. If she can dish it, she should be able to take it. ######


Prompt:
I (f17) live with my mom and my step dad. my step dad and I have never gotten along, and it's progressively gotten worse as I've gotten older.

he frequently insists that my anxiety and depression issues are fake and I'm doing it because I'm desperate for attention. he says extremely mean things to me, like calling me a charity case, a dick sucking whore, and worse.

as much as I hate him, my mom keeps him around for financial "support"(he blows all his money on stupid things)

my mom says I have no room to complain because he offered to buy me my horse. Although that was a kind gesture, around November he completely cut me off because he says I don't do enough. I am now over 1k in debt with horse bills(board only, my horse has proper vet care).

I recently got a job so I can cut myself off financially from them, and he has tried to manipulate me into quitting. saying things like "your mom needs you to stay here", lying about losing my cats, and telling me I'd be r*ped at work.

today was the straw that broke the camel's back. my mom is very aware of what he puts me through, and she got her government check today. she went out and bought him a new phone "because she wanted to do something nice for him". I explained to her how upset I was because he's done nothing but abuse me.

I think at this point, if she's still with him when I move out. I'd highly consider cutting ties with her.

AITA for feeling like this and thinking about ending the relationship we have? ######

Response: NTA, but your mom seems to really be under his influence. It's a terrible thing that she may be suffering too from him, but you shouldn't have to suffer as a result of it. If you feel that's what you need to do for now, maybe limit contact instead of burning the bridge altogether. If that still isn't enough though, then I think you have every justified reason to walk away. ######


Prompt:
When I was 3, my parents had a divorce. Even though my father got visitation every other weekend, my mom made the dumb decision to run away with me to a different state.

I didn't see my father since and consider my stepfather my actual father.

I'm now 15 and I'm living with my father after my mom was caught and arrested. She had a short prison sentence and I'm now only allowed supervised contact with her.

So look, I know my mom did a bad thing. But it's done. I'm now being made to live with a family who are strangers to me.

I had to leave my whole life and move to a different state. I'm so unhappy here.

My school doesn't even have the sport I was relying on to get me through college.

And I just can't get along with my father's wife and their 11 year old son, who has autism.

And my father is being desperate about us having a relationship but it's just too wierd for me. I have asked him several times to let me go to my grandmother's house but he refuses.

I just think he wants a kid who's "normal". But I don't care if he buys me stuff. I didn't grow up with him.

I'm not happy and I've been making sure they know about it. I figured if they don't want me to be happy then they can be miserable too.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, but your mom is. I think something alot of people in the comment section are forgetting is that you just can't force people to get along or expect a kid who've been uprooted to settle well in a new house hold, especially as one as stressful as the one OP is describing. Your dad really wants a relationship with you and no it's not his fault for taking you but he can't force you to like him or his family. You can absolutely let them know your unhappy but don't go out of your way to be dickish about it or to intentionally cause malice.

Another thing I think people are forgetting is it's incredibly easy to lie about ex's to parents and they probably thought the mom had custody and now have to deal with not seeing thier grandkid. I would suggest going over visitation rights for grandparents, some states have them others don't. At least you would be able to see them and it might make it easier for you to live with your dad.

Edit: Grammer and thank you to whoever gave the silver to this comment, I've never got one before. ######


Prompt:
I'm a 29 year old mother of a 6 year old son. He had been just the normal kid growing up, curious and enthusiastic as ever. Lately I have noticed him roleplaying feminine characters while playing, favoring more feminine attitudes and toys/games.  That was completely fine by me and his father and we never discouraged it.

However three days ago I was online clothes shopping and thought it would be a fun idea to include my son and help me choose and pick colors/styles for mine and his clothes. He was very happy to do so and helped me choose my clothes. When we were looking through the kids section of the online store, he showed interest in both boy-ish and girl-ish styles so I thought it would be a good idea to encourage him to pick whatever he wants. He picked 3 t-shirts and one dress and I had them all ordered. I didn't explain to him that dresses are for girls and didn't act as if him picking a dress was weird, I just wanted t get him what he wants.

Later that day I was talking to my husband and mentioned the incident to him, he got absolutely furious. He told me I'm encouraging a little boy to be insecure of his identity and "masculinity". I told him that was ridiculous and that our son doesn't even understand what masculinity is, he's just a kid and he has no clear "identity" yet. He got mad and has been acting weird to me since, as if I'm a danger to our son. Should I have explained to my son that dresses are for girls and that he's a boy?

TL;Dr: bought a dress for my son like he wanted and my husband got mad at me for not explaining to him that it's for girls. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, but your husband is. You're not banning boyish things, you're just allowing your kid to play with things he likes. I would do the same for my kid if he was interested in dress up, or wanted his nails painted or whatever. Mine will likely grow up to be cis (I'd be fine with it if he wasn't but it seems like he will), and little bit of glitter or nail polish isn't going to threaten that in any way. ######


Prompt:
I (33f) am very big on jewelry. I have made myself quite a large collection over the years. I have 4 siblings, 2 sisters 2 brothers. I've recently decided to sell a few pieces that I found myself wearing less and less. They're still beautiful and in perfect condition. From the pieces that I chose to sell I gave a few to my sisters.

Only one of my brothers are married. I guess my SIL found out that I was giving jewelry to my sisters and asked my brother why I didn't give her one. I've never gotten along with my SIL. She knows why, but suddenly seems to forget that when I have a necklace she likes.

I tell my brother I don't want to give her anything. She isn't my sister, and I haven't given my other brother anything also. Brother gets mad that I'm singling out SIL and making her feel left out.

He's still nagging me. I still have the necklace SIL wants, but every phone call I get from my brother makes me want to give it to her less. ######

Response: NTA, but your brother and your SIL are assholes.  It's okay for her to ask (a little rude, but not over the line), but then acting entitled to the necklace is solidly in asshole territory.  You don't "owe" her anything. ######