Prompt: Every day at the same time, I walk my dog around the block. Whenever we encounter other people, with or without dogs, we move to the boulevard and let the other people and their dog(s) stay on the sidewalk. Today, I came across a lady walking 3 golden retrievers. I did what I always do, and moved myself, my dog, and my kids to the boulevard to pass by. Well, her dogs started coming towards us, and she couldn’t stop them. The dogs got nose to nose with mine. Thankfully, no fights happened, but I told her that if she can’t hold on to all 3 dogs, then she shouldn’t be walking all 3 dogs. She questioned my knowledge of dogs and then told me that I should have crossed the street and walked on the other side when I saw her. I don’t believe I did anything wrong as I had full control of my dog (I even jumped back into the street to try to keep the dogs apart) and I don’t feel I should have to move to the other side of the street. AITA? Is it my responsibility to move to the other side because she couldn’t hold all her dogs? ######

Response:
 NTA
I agree with you that she shouldn't have all 3 dogs out walking if she can't keep them from attacking people or getting away from her. She's TA for acting like strangers in the world need to accommodate her ######


Prompt:
My husband has been temporarily laid off. Previously he worked full time (overtime, long hours) and I was a stay at home mom by day  / worked part time at a restaurant in the evening / finishing my master’s degree at night (my mom often babysat the kids because my husband wouldn’t be home in time). Now my job has closed and my school (one class and a lab) has switched to online. My school is Mon and Wed nights from 5 to 8, it’s an online meeting in which I have to participate and interact.

Since all this, husband and I have split parenting duties pretty decently - I do more but he’s doing better than I expected (this has been a long ongoing fight with us where I feel he doesn’t pull his weight / gets way more free time than me). We take turns waking up with the kids and we each put one kid to bed at night. Last week I was off from school. However yesterday my husband had to feed and put both the kids to bed while I did my class. Tonight I ask him “were you planning on me putting both kids to bed?” And he says yes. I go on to explain I don’t think it’s fair, I’m not relaxing, I’m doing schoolwork and that shouldn’t mean I have to do everything the next night while he gets to sit and play video games all evening and night. He gets visibly angry and tells me *one* class isn’t work and he doesn’t agree so to stop talking but he’ll do it. AITA for not letting him get a “night off”? Because I get 0 of those. ######

Response:
 NTA
Don’t tolerate his shit. Part of the problem, honestly, has been you. For the past x amount of years, you’ve programmed him to do very, is any, little part of the parenting work (as you’ve implied). If my mom does all my laundry, I’ll just get use to it and allow it to happen. Same as mostly everyone on the world. Women have been taught to be superheroes and shoulder all the burden.

So continue to be firm and set up boundaries. Even when things go back to normal, don’t shoulder all the responsibility. Of course, if he comes home late that day, he gets a pass. But on the weekend, for example, let it be known those are his days to put the kids to bed. ######


Prompt:
This happened a while ago, I work at a local pizza place, and it was dinner rush. I manage the phone, counter, and oven because we were understaffed

During rush a lady comes in and orders food, I get everything ready and ask if she wants a bag, she says no. I tell her the usual thank you for coming have a nice night.

I then go to answer the ringing phone to place them on hold so I can service the next person at the counter when she yells out ‘actually can I have a bag?’ Because everyone else is busy getting deliveries or making pizza I grab a bag, open it, and hand it to her over the counter where she’s standing. The store has one of those high glass protection counters, like subway, and she was at the end of it so I just jumped to give it to her when she didn’t move down towards the register.

I again tell her to have a nice night and enjoy her food, when she just stops, stares at me and beings yelling at me telling me I could of come around and placed the food she was holding into the bag, she immediately walked out cursing under her breath, all my coworkers and customers in the store just kind of stopped and looked at her because we were all in shock.

I then go and take the order of the people on hold and the counter when another call comes in, it’s someone requesting to talk to the manager because ‘she received the worse customer service she’s ever had and she will never come back, and she’s been coming here for years and has never come across someone like me with such an attitude, and that I need to be reprimanded by someone’ my manager just gave her a ‘yes, I am sorry and will talk talk to her about it’ I didn’t get reprimanded, everyone just kind of laughed it off, I’m only asking because when I told my mom she said it was rude of me to not walk around and put the ladies food into the bag. ######

Response:
 NTA
1) she asked for a bag, not for it to be bagged
2) putting stuff in a bag isn’t that hard
3) she assumed that your job description included bagging food ######


Prompt: So I (24m) and my (24f) wife where sleeping in our bed. Now our bed faces a vent. So i woke up and i saw that something was in there. And i have never noticed,but my mom had put a CAMERA in that vent my mother is a narcassist i went NC with her when i hit 18. And when i saw that camera i thought " holy shit theres a pervert who likes to watch my and my wife sleep". then i found all of the cameras and bugs my mother put. oh and how she got in was she contacted my dad who i still talk to and lied to him and told him to give her a key to my house to " go feed and take care of my dog" because " I was away" but i was just at work. anyways i took the cameras and bugs to the police station they found out it was my mom and i pressed charges. so i want to know. am i the ass for doing so ######

Response:
 NTA
1. Broke into your house with out you knowing
2. Filming you 24/7
3. Recording everything you say

Dude I don't care of she is family send her to jail what the hell

Edit: Have your wife sue her too! ######


Prompt:
Hi, me (F/37) and my husband (M/44) are having some loud arguments about I needing him to occasionally take a day off to stay with our 3 kids (5yo, 3yo and 3 months old), so I can go to a medical appointment, as I have a cronic thyroid desease (which has now got out of control due to my last pregnancy, baby is now 3 months old). He says I am being selfish, as he is entering a new position in his job and must not at all take a day off for me going to my thyroid appointment. He his willing to do it for the kids though, if one of them needs medical assistance.

I am a stay at home mother and he is saying I do not respect his work, because I asked him about his new working schedule while mentioning I would need a thyroid appointment by that time. In our country law grants 30 days off per year to spouses of people with cronic desease, but my husband is afraid that the company will not want to give him a new position anymore if he "keeps asking stuff like this". He even had an outburst and said he would not work anymore and I would have to pay half the bills (I already pay for half the food). Also he said that if I have money to pay my psycotherapy I should have money to pay the bills too.

Husband says only after september will he be considering to ask company for days off, but I do need that thyroid appointment at a specific timeframe (which is within a month), and I feel frustrated to even having to explain that, as my heath should be a priority imo.

My only way out would be to ask my aunt and my mother to come and stay with the kids, but they are quite aged and I am scared to leave my 3 month old baby with them, as they may not have the necessary abilities to take proper care of him.

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your husband needs to step up to being a parent. Sometimes that means taking time off work. He his a major AH. ######


Prompt:
Hi all,
First post so apologies.

My husband works in almost an all female environment and has done almost 20 years, I accept these work friendships
Last few weeks I've been telling him that co worker texting him after 10pm asking for a lift is inappropriate, he agrees but doesn't control when they text him.
hubby has had 2 weeks annual leave and Last night at 1:30am he had a missed call of co worker. He didn't answer we were alseep!
He messaged this morning to see what she wanted and it transpires that she had had an episode where she had taken too many paracetamol in an attempt to end her life.
Co worker had a partner, has family and friends of her own. I say reaching out to hubby was way over the line and although I sympathise she needs to back off, she is crossing boundaries. Hubby agrees and simply didn't reply.... I want to message and tell her directly. However, I recognise she's currently in a bad place mentally and don't want to cause her further anguish. WIBTA?

Just to add there are no trust issues between hubby and myself and she has never sent suggestive messages but has previously phoned drunk during the early hours where she was told to stop. ######

Response:
 NTA

Your husband needs to set clear boundaries for her. ######


Prompt:
My husband of almost 9 yrs (who suffers from untreated anxiety and depression-m, age 36) wants us to sell our house and move our family(two sons in elementary) across the country to live in a lower cost state so he can have more land and flexibility to start his mini farm or whatever other business he fancies. It would mean leaving two good paying stable jobs, a great small community with a great school district and all of my family including my aging 70 yr old parents. And I just don't want to. His goals are noble as he wants to live debt free and find a job he is more passionate about in a state with a lower cost of living. He thinks this will make him happy but it means giving up my entire life to move to a state where the only people we know are his family. He is potentially able to work remotely in his field or get another job but my career field is harder to break into after relocation which would mean I probably wouldn't work and would be giving up my career.

And one important fact to consider is that we tried this five years ago- moving to his more affordable home state to be near his family. We ended up moving back to my home state because we weren't happy. This is where we live currently.

This disagreement in our marriage is causing major issues and he's been depressed but I still am not convinced that he would be happy even if we did move. He just isn't very nice to me which makes it hard for me to consider giving up so much on the slight chance this move would make him happy especially when he hasn't been willing to seek conventional treatment for his depession. Aita for refusing to move to try to make him happy? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your husband needs therapy, not a change of location. He's trying to solve his internal problems with external solutions. As you have already found out, it won't work.

Edited to add: This cannot be good for your children either. I know someone who had a mentally ill parent that dropped everything and went to a different country when they were 10, and then moved back a year later when their new life in a rural area turned out to suck balls. This shuttling around at a young age coupled with their parent's problems made *them* extremely anxious and they are only starting to fix this as an adult ######


Prompt: I (F26) live in the UK, and had a baby 3 weeks before lockdown. The first week I spent with my baby in hospital and he needed NICU, the second week I spent with my husband having family come and visit. Week 3 was just a tired breastfeeding haze with a few visitors. Then we went into lockdown. Since then it's just been me and my husband looking after our baby who is now 4.5months old. Myself and my friends are all nurses. My friends are now pestering me to join them for lunch out as restaurants are now opening. I don't want to go, my baby hasn't had even a cold yet I don't want to test them out with coronavirus first thing and the thought of having to watch my baby on a ventilator again scares me. My friends insist that I 'need to leave the house sometime' and that I 'can't keep hiding' which I feel is unfair as weather permitting I will meet them at a distance outside for a walk or a cuppa. Now things are re-opening it scares me more than ever as everyone is getting so lax about transmission. I've argued with my friends about this they think I'm being unreasonable and are insulted that I would think any of them could be a danger to my baby. So reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your friends seem to be unaware of how dangerous the situation still is. I understand missing the social lifestyle, but they're in the wrong for two things.

1. Clearly not practicing social distancing.
2. Getting mad at you for not wanting to meet them when you have a baby in your home that could very easily get exposed to the virus.

They're not only being unreasonable, they're putting everyone at risk. ######


Prompt:
AITA for cutting off a decade long friendship. I was friends with this guy (“F”) since 9th grade. He was my first high school love because he was such a nice guy even though we never kissed or anything, it took years to get over him. He moved away and I transferred for junior year to another high school but we still kept in touch. I always looked up to him as a nice guy and always told him he’ll find a good woman someday. We used to do this 4-way on the phone with this friend and his girl.  The friend (“P”) is in one of the northern states.

Fast forward to now, I’m now 27 and I was jogging and he called. I answered and he was doing a 3-way with P. P has moved to FL. After the convo he says if he can give P my number, I’m hesitant but I say okay, seeing it would be awkward to say no while the guy is on the line. P text me about how’s I’ve been and how I look like now. I wasn’t too sure where he was going but we exchanged a few text and that’s it.

So a few days later, F calls me and tells me, “P was asking me if he had a chance to hook up with you, I told him take his chances.” I felt so disrespected. 1. Lack of respect for me because I never told him I’m searching for someone to hook up with and 2. I had a bf and I felt he was so disrespectful to him and my relationship. I definitely didn’t hold back she gave him a piece of my mind and told him that we are no longer friends.

Now he constantly calls and when I finally picked up, he said I’m in the wrong because he apologized. I’ll never get over it and I’m not even a little bit  interested in being friends with him again.

Reddit wise ones, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your friend clearly saw you as a piece of ass.

And he may have apologized but that doesn't erase what he did. He's trying to pin the blame of his asshole move on you.

Sounds like he's not the friend he used to be. ######


Prompt:
The whole story is in the title.

My ex-husband gave me three cards (one from him and each of our kids) and a miniature rose bush for Mother’s Day. The kids’ cards just said that I do a lot for them and his just said he was thankful that I’m a good mom and was excited to see us again. (We still do family outings like going to the park).

My boyfriend broke up with me because he said it was inappropriate and that I should never have accepted them. It just blew up into a big argument. I told him his feelings were valid and we’d work through it and talk about it. Was it inappropriate?

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Your ex is showing your kids that even though you may not be together it’s good to respect one another. He wrote a thoughtful card and it’s a lovely gesture.
You reacting fondly shows them that you can still be friends and co parent. Your kids will remember that even though you guys may not be together anymore you still treat each other with kindness and that’s lovely.

Your boyfriend knew you had an ex husband and kids I don’t know what he expected. Would he rather you were in a heated custody battle only talking through the kids? ######


Prompt:
My daughter (L) got pregnant in her twenties and gave up a child for adoption. Though my husband and I were upset, we fully supported her and thought she was strong for making a tough decision.

She’s doing well now and is married with kids. Her husband knows about the child she gave away for adoption.

A while ago, we heard from her daughter (S) that she gave away. Our granddaughter contacted us sobbing that her adoptive family had given her away as a baby and she was in the foster system with an abusive family. She’s 12 years old.

My husband and I agreed that even though L didn’t want her, she’s still our grandchild and we have the resources to help her. We adopted S and she now lives with us.

We got S a new wardrobe and redid our guest room to be her room. We also made a college fund and put about $60k in it. Basically we treat her like how we treated L, S is now our daughter by law and in our hearts.

L was indifferent to us adopting S. However, L went ballistic when we told her about S college fund. We didn’t think L would mind since we paid $80k a year for her college education and S is now our daughter too. L is mad because her other kids don’t get a college fund from us even though L and her husband have already gotten it taken care of. But, L says that we are spending more on S and aren’t treating the grandkids equally. She says that her kids will resent us and L for not being treated like S.

However, S is our daughter now and L’s kids are our grandchildren. S has no support system besides us and we treat her just like L. We don’t discriminate among our grandchildren and if L had taken in S, she would’ve been treated like the other kids, aka no college fund.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You’re treating S the same as L. S is legally your daughter and not your grandchild so she shouldn’t be roped in with the grandchildren. The grandchildren already have both their parents to take care of them and their grandparents to dote on them. Meanwhile, S seems to have had a terrible life and needs more help than the grandchildren to get up on her feet again. Maybe your daughter is feeling guilty about not stepping up and using you as a scapegoat for her guilt. Continue supporting S! I’m rooting on her! ######


Prompt:
Pre-info context: I met these friends in high school, but have been talking to them via Discord recently cuz...yeah. Both of us are 20F.

Pre-info context 2: She has openly discussed having mental & developmental disorders, but to respect her privacy, I can only confirm that they’re socialization-based. Please do not diagnose her in this thread.

———

Due to recent events (protests right outside my door - for more context, I’m Black) my mental health has been suffering; since this group consisted of my best friends, I’ve felt comfortable talking out my feelings with them.

Her mental health has been suffering as well; due to the COVID outbreak, she’s been struggling to find reliable work, as well as a place to stay.

Yesterday, she was rejected from her dream job. Unfortunately this was her 10th rejection just in the past three weeks. Yesterday was ALSO a noteworthy day for protests in our city, and I personally know many who were affected.

When I started talking about it, I was immediately confronted by two friends who told me to stop out of respect for my friend since she was already having a really bad day. I agreed. However, I noticed during the call that every time we tried changing the topic to ANYTHING else (even the lighthearted stuff) she would get mad and claim we were invalidating her feelings by not giving her the floor. When she gets mad, she yells and cries, and it kinda scares me a bit tbh.

I ended up snapping then; I her that it wasn’t fair for her to expect us to talk about/comfort her at all times. I expressed that I felt silenced because I was told to yield the floor to her issues, rather than have a space to discuss mine. I wasn’t happy that everyone had collectively decided her feelings were more valid than everyone else’s and I was...tired.

I left the call immediately after my outburst. I plan on apologizing regardless, but AITA here? ######

Response:
 NTA

You’re friends are being ridiculous expecting all of you to just give her all of your attention all the time. She might be challenged, but that doesn’t make her feelings more important than yours, especially with what’s going on right now with the protests and how that’s affecting you.

Definitely apologize, but make sure to stand your ground. Don’t let them all emotionally push you around into feeling like you’re feelings and mental health aren’t validated. ######


Prompt:
Me (f25) and my partner (m28) have 2 kids already, DD 2.5yr and DS 11 months.

I was due to get the coil fitted before the pandemic but this was delayed and we were using condoms.

About 6 weeks ago I suddenly started feeling dozzy and nauseous out of nowhere which is exactly how i felt with DS so i took a pregnancy test and it was positive. We immediately knew we didnt want another child at the time or probably ever so i rang my doctors to book in for a consult for an abortion, in breastfeeding so not having periods and didnt know how far along I was. We had the consult and found i was 8 weeks pregnant and was booked in for the following day.

However that night I had horrible cramps and started bleeding heavily, we went back to the hospital and it was confirmed I had miscarried. I was honestly relieved as obviously I wasnt planning on taking the pregnancy to term anyway and i was freaking out over the idea of having an abortion as medical procedures make me extremely nervous and id heard alot of horror stories gone wrong.

Fast forward and I visited my SIL last week(socially distanced of course) and she asked if me and SO were planning on more kids. I said absolutely not and explained what happened and that I was relieved that the pregnancy terminated.

Well it turns out that SIL had been trying for a baby for the last year and hasnt been successful so far and said im an awful person for being relieved and that other women would kill to be able to get pregnant as quickly as i can.

Context, both my babies were conceived on contraception.

I said im really sorry i upset her and that i had no idea she was even trying and had i known i obviously wouldnt have discussed this with her.

I thought that was the end of it but all of a sudden all of SO's family are messaging me saying im cruel for rubbing my pregnancies in SILs face and that its disgusting that im relieved over a miscarriage when she wants a baby so bad.

So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You’re allowed to be relieved over this, and had you understood the situation you wouldn’t have brought this up. Frankly your pregnancy, miscarriage and almost abortion are none of their business. But your SIL asked, and you told her. I hope your SO is sticking up for you against his family. ######


Prompt:
TW: drug use

My mom(52F) got arrest Friday for possession of a controlled substance(herion) and paraphernalia(needles) and I refuse to bail her out again. I just sent her to rehab back in October and I’m tired of wasting time and money on her. She hasn’t talked to me since Monday when I told her I’m not going to get her out of this situation. Am I the Asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

You've tried more than once to help her, nothing changes. She broke the law. This is her own doing. ######


Prompt:
Katie and I were really close friends in high school. We are now in our mid 30’s and I got married a year ago, she is getting married this fall.

A bit of backstory: i moved three hours away from our tiny hometown and she stayed there. I would always make time to hang out with her, at her or her parents’ house, when i was home, which was frequent in my 20’s. As i got older and more settled with a career and relationship, i started going home less often. The last time I was home it was only for a few hours and I told Katie if she wanted to see me, she would have to come to my parents house. She said she would, then an hour later made an excuse and never showed.

When I was planning my wedding, of course I wanted to invite her. She RSVP’ed yes for her, her longtime boyfriend, and her daughter. They never showed up. I could already feel the friendship had run its course before the wedding, and this just kinda proved it. We have not spoken since. I’m not mad, as I realize friendships sometimes just fizzle out, i just wish she would have at least told me she wasn’t coming or apologized after the fact or *something*.

Yesterday, i got an invite to join her wedding group on Facebook and a request to send her my address so she can send an invitation. WIBTA if I just ignored the invite to join the group to get an invitation because i don’t want to go?

Keep in mind this is not the actual invite, this is just address gathering to send invites. ######

Response:
 NTA

You're actually being pretty mature about it. If you know you aren't going to go, then why let her waste time and money on your invite? ######


Prompt: My ex and I still have regular (almost daily) contact because of our daughter who just turned two. I spent most of our relationship wondering if we were even a couple. Coworkers would ask me and I’d tell them “as far as I know, we still are.” My family and my friends are not his biggest fans because of how he treated me during and after our relationship. He always spun things around to make them my fault, he pretty much went no contact with me once I was pregnant, he asked about my appointments and such but never asked how I was, never came to see me, didn’t hug or kiss me at all throughout the pregnancy. We spent nearly 2 years as a “couple” but only talked about our daughter. He’s berated me for my parenting choices (extended breastfeeding) and told me I’m just sensitive when he made jokes at my expense. Last week I went with him and our daughter on a short drive and he asked me if I’d ever thought about getting back together with him to which I responded “no” rather quickly. AITA for not being more kind about this? I wouldn’t get back with him either way, but I almost feel bad for possibly hurting his feelings. ######

Response:
 NTA

You were upfront. If you had said it any other you would have given him a false hope ######


Prompt:
(Throwaway of a throwaway because I forgot the password)

 A few months ago my brother took me furniture shopping. He needed new chairs and found nice ones but said he can't afford it. I offered him to lend him a bit money he said no first but accepted it seconds later.

We then go to the cashier (already signed the contract on everything under my name since I had a customer card) and I ask him how much he is short. He then said he has no money with him and never carries anything with him. So I had to pay everything since I signed the contract!!!

I was really pissed that he tricked me..

Now we got the notification that the chairs are ready to pick up. But I'm thinking I only will give him the contract and pick up slip when I get my money back from him. If sure he'll be very mad and throw a tantrum since he's always short on money. But I also have to get my money back!

So wibta? ######

Response:
 NTA

You were tricked into paying for the whole lot after he told you he was only short on cash. At that point I would have probably cancelled the contract and said outright that you weren’t paying the whole amount.

By saying that he can’t have the contract till he pays you back guarantees go some extent that you will get your money.

If he argues about it. You could always use the fact that. The property is in your name and therefor until he pays for it. It isn’t his.

If he isn’t willing to pay for it or pay you back to get the stuff from you. then you tell him you will advertise it for sale to get your money back that way.

Unfortunately this is a lesson for next time you go shopping with him. I would be wary as he’s likely to pull this trick again if he succeeded once. ######


Prompt:
I have 4 kids. My eldest daughter (19) and I recently  went shopping for a car. She's job hunting and college bound later this year.She needs a car to get around. I drive a white sedan(this is relevant)
We found a beautiful black sedan for which I paid cash.it was registered in my name only,since I would be paying the insurance My plan was  to transfer it to her name when she gets a job.
Now we both love  this new car. It has a larger interior than my old car and leather seats.
I have decided to give my daughter my old car and keep this  new one for myself. After all her 3 siblings fit better in the new car.My daughter is livid.
Now reddit is it  fair? I pay for upkeep of  both cars for now.

TLDR : Should I go ahead and switch cars or give her the bigger car, even though I have 3 other kids to ferry around? ######

Response:
 NTA

You own both cars, its your choice. You are giving her a car, if you want to set the reality of real life into her, charge her for the old car due to her attitude. Find out what the trade in value is and put 1k ontop of that  so to give her a realistic idea of the value of stuff ######


Prompt:
Am I The Asshole for not giving my boyfriend’s sister in law a quilt?

A little bit of context: I have anxiety, and when I get anxious, doing something where I can see results really helps me. So, my boyfriend got me a baby quilt to sew whenever I have one of my attacks. It’s a cross stitch, and takes a lot of time. Him and I decided for me to finish it and we would keep it for if we were to ever get married and have kids.

My boyfriend’s brother isn’t by blood. The brother, “J,” and his family adopted my boyfriend in middle school and my boyfriend’s family wasn’t good and taking care of him. Because of this, my boyfriend feels indebted to J’s family.

J recently married his wife, and she is pregnant. I was sewing my quilt once when they FaceTimed us, and my bf showed it to them, telling them how much work I put into it.

SIL immediately jumped on it, saying how great of a baby shower present it would be for her. My boyfriend and I explained that we would be keeping it for our first child, but I stated I’d be more than happy to make her one when this one is done.

She flipped her lid and started screaming at my boyfriend that “he should be grateful J’s family took him from the dump” and that “he needs to get everything he can for them” because “he owes them.”

My boyfriend stood his ground in front of them but later cried to me saying that I should give them the quilt after I finish because they’ve done so much for him. He kept saying I could always make another one.

I refused. I’ve been working on this quilt for MONTHS. Cross stitching is really hard and hurts my hands when I do it too much, but it really helps with my anxiety. I’m also really attached to the blankets because it’s the first thing I’ve ever sewn, and I really want it to have family value. Now everyone in my bf’s family is making me out to be a horrible, selfish person.

AITA for not giving my boyfriend’s SIL the blanket? ######

Response:
 NTA

You offered to make her one of her own and she wanted yours!? SIL is an AH! ######


Prompt:
Me and my boyfriend both have a set of dog tags that we bought for eachother. One has our names, the date we got together and forever inscribed to it and the other says 'my partner, my puppy, my prince' on his and 'my partner, my pumpkin, my princess' on mine.

We've been together for a year an a half and on that dadt I put a photo of them together on facebook.

A friend of ours, Kris, is in the military. He took offense to us wearing dog tags and made a public post complaining about 'military appropriation' and how offensive it is for civilians to wear dog tags. He sent me and my boyfriend the post with the words "fuck you" and has ignored every attempt we have made to contact him.

Are we the assholes? ######

Response:
 NTA

You have a right to wear them.

The only thing you’d be a AH for is those names LOL (I joke!)

I hope your pal comes around but ya your not the assholes here ######


Prompt:
Today my mother saw a thing in her social media group where some of our neighborhood’s children recorded themselves saying a thank you message to the current frontline healthcare workers, and then playing a short musical piece on the piano/violin. This is a sweet gesture, but my mother immediately decided my sister (13) should also record herself doing this because “it gives you a chance to develop public speaking skills.” My sister was reluctant to do it because she thinks it’s cringey and it’s clear that the other children’s parents also forced them to do this, but she caved in.

While she was doing the recording, I was videocalling some friends who I haven’t talked to weeks. While I got caught up talking I overheard my mother yelling at my sister, likely because my sister wasn’t doing the recording the way she wanted it to. My sister then popped in my room and asked me “can you combine two videos clips together directly on the iPad?” I was talking with friends so I didn’t elaborate and said “no I don’t think you can, you probably need another app for that.” An hour later I was finished talking, and my mom came in the room, angry that I didn’t stop talking to my friends to help my sister edit the video which *she* was the one who basically forced her into doing.  My mother was also complaining about how she “had to learn how to use iMovie” in order to help my sister combine the clips.

I didn’t confront my mother while she was yelling about how selfish of a sister I am, who only hangs out with my younger sister only when it’s convenient for me to do so, but inside I was thinking that it’s not fair I have to help my sister with this when my mother was the one who basically said “I want this recording done so you can be like the other kids” without providing any help or guidance to my sister. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You had no obligation to help in an activity that it sounds like your sister wasn’t comfortable in and was just going along to appease your Mom.

Also:

> develop your public speaking skills

Yeah a video recording isn’t going to do that. She was definitely fishing to get recognized for a very stay at home activism. Like you said sweet idea but it shouldn’t be window dressed as anything other then what it actually is. ######


Prompt: My(18F) mother always likes using the phrase ‘I know each of my children individually’. She always says this when I ask why the rest of my siblings(13M and 26M) don’t do chores. Like she would go out for groceries or whatever then comes back in the evening and asks ME why there are still shoes in the entry way(not even mine), why there are dirty dishes in the sink(even though I did breakfast dishes expecting someone to do lunch dishes) and why the house is a mess. I used to just do whatever she says to avoid being confrontational but yesterday was when I reached my last straw. She came back from taking her car for a drive to ‘revive her engine’, it was literally like 20 minutes max, then she finds me in my room and starts telling me how irresponsible I am for expecting her to come back and do the dishes and clean up the living room while I just sat in my room doing nothing(my brothers where in the living room playing ps4).I retorted by saying that I’m not the only one in this house and she threw in her famous ‘I know each of my children individually’ quote and  this is where I might have been the AH cause I said that she only uses that phrase when she wants to manipulate me into doing chores that everyone should have an equal share in and that she always has such high standards when it comes to my life whereas she pampers my other siblings. She told me to lose my attitude and we haven’t spoken since then. My dad now wants me to apologize so that we reduce the tension inside the house and telling me that I should never speak to a parent like that. So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You called her out for spoiling the boys. You called her out for her annoying little saying.

I don’t understand why people say contradicting a parent is rude. And I’m an old woman with two grown children. I want to know what they think. And I respect their autonomy. And I think I did when they were 18. They might have different thoughts . Smile.

Anyway, I hate what she says to you. How condescending. People grow and change constantly.

“Mom, if you knew me as well as you think you do, you’d know I am feeling like we are overdue for a talk, now that I’m an adult, about how I feel about your taking the easy way out in expecting me to pick up the slack for the boys.” ######


Prompt:
My wife and I live with our 4 kids in a house that is pretty close to our next door neighbors. A year ago, a new family moved in next door with their 3 kids.

Our property technically extends until about 5 feet from our neighbor’s physical house, so we have always used that land on that side as a place to park an extra car or whatever.

Our new neighbor put up a basketball hoop for their kid in the driveway so that when their kids played, they were inching on what was technically our property. We had no problem with that because who cares.

However, eventually our neighbors began parking their car in that land. We asked them to stop because 1) sometimes we park there and 2) our kids play wiffle ball all the time in the back yard and didn’t want cars that are not us pulling in and out without expecting our kids to run out and also 3) it’s our property and we really shouldn’t have to explain more than that.

When we asked them to stop parking there, they said they didn’t understand why we couldn’t share the land as it had room for 2 cars and all the kids run around there and nobody has cared before. They even said they would move a car from there if we ever needed the space upon request. We didn’t really want to go down that road.

When they continued to park there, one day we had a fence built on our property so that they could not longer park there and now their kids could no longer play basketball there (the second part was not our intention). We did not tell them we were building the fence beforehand and our neighbors freaked out saying we were being selfish.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You asked them to move and when they didn't you took the next step. Plus it's your property. ######


Prompt:
I already feel like a major AH but my sister says to post on here because she thinks I'm not.

I'm back at home with my parents and older sister because I can't stay at my uni dorm for obvious reasons. I wasn't able to take all my belongings with me because I had to leave for home in a rush, so when I got home I placed a big order of toiletries and other necessities, and I thought I'd treat myself to some nice new skincare products and some workout clothes because I'm going to be home for a while and I wanted to spend some time working out. I didn't think much of it until I video called my boyfriend and told him about my shopping and he got really upset that I'm buying unimportant things right now. He says I should have donated my extra money like he did (we both work at the same restaurant near school and got one last paycheck before going home), instead of buying stupid things. I feel really bad already but when I told my sister she said I wasn't an asshole for what I did but I'm not sure. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You are under no obligation to donate your money. It's tough times for all of us and if workout clothes and skincare products help you get through then go for it! Also you ordered them online - it's not like you went out to the shops unnecessarily. ######


Prompt:
As you can guess from the title, this is an unbelievably stupid argument I’m having with one of my friends.

I am (16F). I’m currently doing all my schoolwork at home and I did all my stuff on time and I’ve been relaxing this weekend. One of the pieces this week we had to do this week was a small essay for my history class as we’ve just been studying the slave trade.

The subject of it is really fascinating to me and it’s led to conversations in my friend group about race. The friend this post is about is Frank (16M). He is mixed race, his parents are black and white. He had some stories about how some of his ancestors were in the slave trade. No issue talking about it because I think it’s important.

We were talking on a zoom call about race. He talked a lot about black people and I started talking about my background. My mom is white American and my dad is Mexican. He calls himself brown and ive inherited most of his dark features and I feel I’m mixed race. I happened to say that to Frank whilst we were talking about race and he got really mad at me.

He said I didn’t get to call myself mixed race because I’m not in his eyes. He then accused me of being racist and attempting to whitewash the struggles his people have gone through. I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong but he called me an inconsiderate AH and told me not to talk to him again until I “educate” myself on what race is.

It really upset me and I went crying to my dad. He said that technically I wasn’t wrong, I am mixed as my dad isn’t white. He said Frank is probably just upset due to the history period we’re studying and he’s got very heated about it. I think maybe I shouldn’t have said I was mixed race to Frank.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

You are mixed race!? Just because someone else is "more dark" than you, doesn't change your heritage. If anything, your friend is racist to say that to you. ######


Prompt: I(15F) have been babysitting my lil brother O(4 months) since he was a newborn because my mom and her boyfriend both work nights. I used to have a schedule where I would alternate nights with my other brother J(17M) and for about the first month I got irritated a few times but it wasn't enough to deter me. J eventually got a job so he dropped off the babysitting schedule so lately it's been me babysitting O from midnight to 9 almost every day. Along with this because they work nights they need to sleep during the day where they pass him off to me again and when their not sleeping they tend to go shopping 2+ hours without him. I am getting paid for none of this despite the fact that I'm more of a nanny at this point. I like to think I'm a go with the flow kind of person but lately my sleep schedule has been severely messed up and as someone with a history of mental health issues I've been getting more and more exhausted the longer this goes on. At this point I mostly just want a break but I don't wanna seem ungrateful or bratty for not helping out. ######

Response:
 NTA

Wow, you're a really responsible and resilient 15 year old!

You can help your parents out and still be a kid, or at least that's how it should be. What's happening here just isn't healthy for anyone, especially you and the baby-and it could be dangerous.

You need at least 8-10 hours of sleep a night and at 15 you need it so your brain is healthy enough for your body to grow and brain to mature. You won't be able to keep this up forever and it's going to get to a point where you'll fall asleep when he needs you most and it'll end badly. You just shouldn't be bearing the responsibility of being a parent at 15 when you're not in fact a child parent.

Talk to them honestly about what this is doing to your physical and emotional health; and that while you're grateful that they trust you enough to carry this load alone at 15 you're honest and real enough with yourself to tell them that it's too much for you. Let them know you no longer feel safe or confident in  babysitting so often alone and overnight anymore. I know that you're probably on limited resources and there's not a lot of alternatives to the situation but that's actually not your responsibility at this age; it's theirs.

Best of luck to you, OP. You're a great kid and you've been a great sibling. Your family is lucky to have you.

Edit: added not and a semicolon. ######


Prompt: I (18) still live with my parents at home due to studying. I work away for a week every other week. As soon as I leave for work my brother (24M) decides to come in my room and set up camp with his playstation, TV, chair, ETC. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t mind but I’ve recently finished decorating, spending £1000+ so it looked nice. He treats the place with no respect and doesn’t ask me to even go in there. Last week I came home from work and he had his TV set up on my glass desk, as well as his playstation. I’m not even sure if the glass can withstand the weight, I’ve told him this but he still persists. He leaves his cups and plates with food and drink to go mouldy and leaves stains all over my desk and floor , also my clean clothes were thrown on the floor. It’s not a nice thing to expect to come home to a clean room the way I left it and find it trashed with him not even caring. I’ve lost count how many times this has happened and he still doesn’t listen so I’ve decided to put a lock on my door so I can be sure to come home to my room the way I left it. My friends agree with me but my parents think I’m an AH for doing this as they believe I should just leave him be and that I’m over reacting. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Why does he use your room?? What's wrong with his room?
Tell your parents if they think he should be able to use your room then he should be forced to clean it up as well, or if it's no big deal then they wont mind if he uses their room.

I find it weird that he goes through the hassle of moving it constantly. ######


Prompt:
Note: This argument happened pre-COVID, but it's been eating at me for a while.

I was running errands with my mom and my infant daughter and we stopped at a restaurant to grab some take-out. The group ahead of us (a woman with her parents) saw my daughter and commented on how pretty she was.

While I was holding my daughter, the woman approached me to ask about her and tell me she was struggling to have a baby herself due to PCOS. I mentioned that I also had PCOS and recommended my fertility clinic. Then she asked to hold my daughter and reached out to her. My daughter shrank away and I was getting my own weird vibes, so I told her it wasn't a good idea.

When my turn came up to order, I handed my daughter to my mom. As I ordered, my daughter got squirmy, so my mom let her down on the floor. Shortly after, the woman's mom walked over to my daughter and tickled her. My daughter ran back to me and hid behind me.

I was pissed that someone would touch my daughter after I had already told them no. My mom started to apologize for my daughter, but I interrupted and said that my daughter's body is her own. And if she didn't want someone touching her, then I hoped grown-ups would respect that.

The other group finally got the hint and left my daughter alone after that. My mom scolded me, saying I was being too harsh about them touching my kid. She said they didn't mean any harm. I told her that they probably didn't, but I wasn't taking any chances.

So... AITA?

EDIT: Some clarifications:

\- My daughter started walking on her own at 9 - 10 months. The whole crawling/pull up on furniture/walking progression was super quick.

\- I'm not sure why my mom let her down on the floor, but probably the same reason she thought strangers touching my child was NBD.  ######

Response:
 NTA

why do people feel so entitled to touch/hold a STANGERS baby/toddler?? They don't know you and you don't know them. Yes, they are extremely cute. Just do your little googley eyes, wave, smile and coo. Especially since the mother already said no.

It also reminds me of service dogs. People want to pet them. Owner says no, they're working. They get all butt hurt.

Respect people's choices. Respect people in general.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. ######


Prompt:
So my sister recently gave birth, and her husband died ~2 months before that. She called me today asking if I could stay with her because she’s having trouble with the kid. I told her I would have to ask my wife.

I asked, and she said it would be fine. I asked if she would come with me, and she said she would. We think it would be a good “trial run” if you can call it that because we’ve been waffling on kids.

I then called my sister back and asked if my wife could come. She said no. I asked her how long she expected me to stay and she said she didn’t know. I don’t like the idea of being away from my wife for an unknown amount of time, taking care of a kid during a pandemic. I told my sister I couldn’t go if my wife couldn’t come, and she yelled at me and hung up. Wife thinks I should go anyway.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

When you are married you come together! If you sister wants help, she should accept your wife coming as well. ######


Prompt:
My daughter (9F) recently got her period a few days ago, and my husband who was in the medical field thought it would be better if we both talked to her together.

We did the whole birds and bees talk, and that she shouldn’t feel uncomfortable asking dad to buy pads and tampons for her.

We wanted her to feel comfortable and get used to it.

Dad did the explaining while I went out with my daughter to go buy her pads and teach her how to use them.

Both of us thought this was okay, and our daughter seemed completely fine with it.

She never seemed to be uncomfortable, and seemed genuinely kind of relieved.

I was talking to my sister the other day though, and she blew up at me. Telling me dads shouldn’t be the ones teaching this. I shouldn’t have told him, and it was my responsibility alone.

My sister told me it was an invasion of my daughters privacy, and most of my immediate family agrees with her.

I’ve never thought of periods as something other than something that happens biologically.

On one hand, at least my daughter learned, and has a supportive dad. On the other maybe it was wrong of me to bring dad into this. ######

Response:
 NTA

What do they think happens with daughters of single dads? ######


Prompt:
My fiance(29m) and I(29f) are (world affairs permitting) getting married in October. This is my first wedding but his second. We are having a small wedding (50 people or so) after a short engagement because we both want to have multiple children, and we want to start trying as young as we can.

My fiance is friendly with his ex because they still have several mutual friends and are part of the same D&D group. I say friendly instead of being friends because we have had some issues with her and boundaries, such as her complaining that they dont have the level of communication that they did before, and getting annoyed that he didnt drop everything (cancel time with me) to support her on a bad day, and half a dozen other small moments that get blown up into things much bigger than they should be. I dont think she is doing this maliciously, I think she was just naive enough to believe that she would still be one of his best and closest friends after the divorce and is struggling with the reality of it. Because of her issue with boundaries, I decided very early on that I do not want her at the wedding. and my fiance supported me wholeheartedly. No issues there.

Here's where I worry we might be the assholes. After making our guest list we realized that we are inviting almost all of their mutual friends, except for his ex and her boyfriend(who is the man she left the marriage for but that is neither here nor there). Friends they made during the marriage, the entire D&D group, people his ex introduced him to...yeah. we made the list simply by inviting those people that we wanted at the wedding, but we did end up inviting everyone around her. I have no intention of extending an invite to her because I do not trust her to not make the day about herself, even if it is an asshole move, but are we the assholes for leaving her out of something everyone else is coming to? ######

Response:
 NTA

Weddings are already stressful, don't invite someone you don't trust not to make a scene. ######


Prompt: So I (18f) decided to take my little brother outside to play with chalk today since it’s the nicest day we’ve had in awhile. I was just wearing simple black leggings (not see through or anything) and a top. Obviously I was bending over on the ground drawing chalk with him and after about 20 minutes this lady comes over and is FREAKING out. Telling me I’m dressed highly inappropriately and that I NEED to change my clothes because her husband is peaking out of the window watching me. I told her I wasn’t gonna change but then she called me a *slut* for wanting a “grown man” to look at me, so I did, I went in and changed. I changed into some shorts I had since the leggings weren’t okay and it is VERY hot outside. I only wore the leggings originally because I didn’t shave my legs but I changed for her. I didn’t wanna change into anything thick so shorts were the next best option. So I went back outside and she was just waiting by her front door and screamed that I was a “disrespectful little shit” and went inside and called (you’ll never guess) the police lmao. I don’t know what she told them but 2 of them showed up and she puckered up and was like “look how she’s dressed, there are CHILDREN in this neighborhood”. The police officer quickly glanced and told her I was dressed fine but recommended that I go change to prevent conflict. So I went in the house and my mom tried saying that while it was fucked up of her to confront me, she could kind of understand her frustration. I understand that maybe she was just upset and I wasn’t exactly helping, but like c’mon I’m not the bad guy here, am I? AITA for not changing into something less “tight and revealing” to keep her husbands eyes off of me? ######

Response:
 NTA

Wear whatever clothes make you feel comfortable on your own property. Really hate hearing about women blaming other women for their husbands being creeps. ######


Prompt:
I'm new here, so please forgive any mistakes I may make.
I have two boys with my now ex wife, who decided that after the birth of our second son that she didn't want to be involved anymore. She divorced me, and I was stranded full custody since she didn't want anything to do with our kids anymore. It was certainly an adjustment, but I found that both myself and our sons, after the initial shock, were both dealing great without My wife, who, to be clear, didn't settle for anything less than perfection.
Fast forward fourteen years. Both of my sons are doing amazing, and so was I. We never moved from the house we lived in with my wife, so it shouldn't have been so surprising when My wife showed up at the door, claiming that she wanted to be Part of our lives again, in her own words.
I, of course, refused to have much to do with her, but if Our sons wanted to know her, then I wouldn't stop them. so I agreed to talk with them, privately, that night. I made sure not to involve my feelings, just that if they wanted to, they could have a relationship with their mom. And they didn't. No much what I tried to say, they refused. I told them to sleep on it, And they agreed. And came to the same conclusion.
When I told my wife about their decision, and, by extension, mine, she got angry. She accused me of 'poisoning ' their minds and told me that she'd take it to court if I still refused to let her see them. I said that I couldn't make them, And that she relinquished her parenting rights years ago. She got angry and hung up, but not before telling me that that I better be expecting a call soon.
I really don't believe her, but still, i appreciate any opinions, And if I'm being too harsh. ######

Response:
 NTA

Time to lawyer up broseph, just to be sure she doesn’t force her way in.

Good on you for taking care of your boys and giving them a stable environment. I hope one day when their adults they’ll let it be known that you did a great service by them.

Edit: changed “to them” to “by them” ######


Prompt:
So I (21F at the time) gave birth to twins about nine months ago, we waited about a day and a half before telling anybody we'd given birth, including our parents. We wanted to wait until we'd named them (we had names picked out before birth but changed our mind once they were born) as well as until we could be sure that Twin A would be okay (she needed to be resuscitated when she was born and was on breathing support in the NICU for a little) before saying anything.

&#x200B;

Nobody else has said anything but a few months ago my mum basically called me a dick for doing it saying "who the f\*\*\* does that". It's not like we held off on telling her specifically (although considering she announced publicly with pictures that I sent her before we'd even been able to tell my brother or FIL I might next time haha), we just held off on telling her in general. She also hasn't met them in the time since they've been born (obviously won't now because of the restrictions) so it's not as if she was super excited to meet them.

&#x200B;

So AITA for waiting a day and a half before telling my mum I'd given birth? ######

Response:
 NTA

Though I don’t know the specifics. It doesn’t seem you have a close relationship. Sometimes you need time to process things before you tell everyone. ######


Prompt:
So my boyfriend has an ant farm, and I'm not sure how much he paid for them but the ants are also fancy, bigger than normal ones (I'm not sure the name of the breed though). The ants creep me out and make me feel itchy watching them so I normally wouldnt watch them or watch him interact with them when he gets one out the tank, but me and a friend were at his house watching a movie because he has a better tv than me, and he was in another room with the ants. My friend went up to go to the bathroom and when she came back she said she'd seen him at his desk, so she had a peak at what he was doing- he had a shallow tray of water and was using a piece of wire to hold an ant under. She said he was releasing it then re-dunking it. I thought that was really weird but didnt say anything, and I later told another friend about it who said he might have been testing how deep he can have a water bowl for them without them drowning, but that just doesn't make sense- why hold it under? why not just google it? Again I never said anything though.

So I started to watch him with the ants (subtly) and noticed a bunch of other cruel things he did- he found red ants outside and put a bunch of them in a tub with one of his ants and watched his ant get attacked and eaten. I drew the line when he put one in the microwave and confronted him, and he told me I was being a baby. I didnt get to say much else because his aunt showed up, but I was fuming at him. When he was sleeping I emptied the ants into a container and released them outside. I went home after that and he still hasnt called yet, but he'll be pretty mad. I feel bad because they werent my property and I never really had an in-depth convo with him before releasing them, and the ants probably arent native which isnt great either. I'd be extremely pissed if anyone took away or released my pets behind my back before properly talking to me first, but at the same time he was being cruel, so I dont know. ######

Response:
 NTA

This was so much worse than I thought.

I’m not an ant person

Or a bug person.

But nothing deserves that sort of treatment. ######


Prompt:
So I work at a fast food shop, and we close at 9 PM. We technically close at 9:15 for people who are in shop, but given corona, we do not allow people to eat inside. Every sign says 9 PM, so not many people (if any) know about the 9:15. Also, not every manager follows 9:15, and sometime it just depends on the day.

Someone came in the drive-thru at 9:01, and before I could say anything, my manager told me not to. Most of my coworkers will not say anything to potential customers who go through the drive-thru after we close, and just let them sit there. I personally do not like doing that, so I make sure I say "thank you for choosing [job], unfortunately we do close at 9 PM but for your convenience we will be open at 11 AM]". Most of the time, people will just say okay and drive off.

I also have a very high pitch customer service voice, and sometimes I wonder if it sounds sarcastic or b*tchy. I don't mean it that way, but it could be taken that way.

Anyways, when I told this woman that we close at 9, her response was "wow I'm 1 minute late, f*cking b*tch."

I was told to not say anything, and would have had to take and make the entire order myself, as my coworkers had closing tasks to do so we did not get out late.

AITA for not taking her order, given that she was only one minute late? ######

Response:
 NTA

This isn’t even a debate, your manager told you not to, that’s it ######


Prompt:
I've previously made a post in regards to the situation with my neighbors but the short version is that they used to be my friends mutually with my wife but when my wife and I had issues and she left me temporarily they told her she should take me for everything I'm worth.

After finding out I decided to not have anything to do with them, well my child's birthday was this weekend and she really likes them so my wife asked me beforehand if it would be okay for them to come. I said it was fine but don't expect me to be all chit chatty with them and I would probably steer clear.

The day came and they never showed, I asked my wife how come they didn't come as I thought they were going to. She said that they know I hate them (I don't really hate them, I just don't want to associate with people who actively tried to harm me) that they noticed I won't even say hi to them anymore etc.

I feel bad that they missed out on the birthday party putting aside my feelings towards them. They however haven't made any attempts at reconciliation with me regardless and to my understanding don't even recognize why I dislike them.

So AITA for this situation? ######

Response:
 NTA

They made their choice when they chose a side during your separation; they sealed that choice and all its repercussions when they told your wife to "take you for all you're worth." If they wanted civility they should have stayed quiet and let you and your wife handle your troubles.

You were being neighborly and a good parent to your kid by inviting them. It's on them that they didn't show; but I can't blame them, they look foolish. As long as their kids are still cool playing with yours I would just let it stand like it is.

You're clear on your opinions of them and you made an effort. Wipe your conscience bc nobody wants to pack their bags for a guilt trip down Neighborly Lane.

Good luck!

Edit: Corrected quote. Moved NTA to top. ######


Prompt:
So this literally just happened and I personally don't feel I am the asshole but apparently According to everyone else I am.

So here's the story.

My brother has 3 kids all under the age of 5. They have had head lice atleast 4 times, this time I think makes the 5th time they've had it.

We ALL know EXACTLY where it comes from but my brother and his gf refuse to stop sending their kids over there because this is the only person who will baby sit all 3 kids for cheap.

When the 3 youngest kids got head lice the last time me and my mom spent HOURS trying pick their heads clean because they were 2yrs old, hand no idea what was going on, fought, screamed, cried, and we're over all miserable.

After that time I swore I would never do it again because it's so freaking easy for them to prevent their kids getting lice and why should me and my mom be the ones who have to do the clean up of their mess.

Literally EVERY SINGLE TIME they've gotten lice, everyone BUT my brother and his gf have done the clean up. They have never had to do it themselves.

This time was the first time they ever had to, and the rushed it. Because they rushed it they did not get all the lice and the day care called them saying they need to check their heads again.

My mom and brother asked me to come help. I said No. I don't feel is should have to because they finally need to clean up their own damn mess.

But apparently now I'm a bitch because I don't want to and I should help them because my brothers GF is at work and he's the only one working on them.

Tldr: my brothers kids always get lice because they keep sending them back to the source. I refuse to help clear the kids heads because my bro and his gf have never had to do the clean up and I think they should do it on their own. ######

Response:
 NTA

They are their children. It's actually worrying that if no one else does it they won't and it has neglect feel to it. ######


Prompt:
**BACKSTORY:** My parents have been living in England for around 25 years, more than they've spent in their country. They both fled at the age of 18 and they haven't seen their parents, friends and family for 30 years, so a return to their native country was inevitable.

When I was 13, in the summer of 2017, my (16M) parents took me to their home country for what they said was "a holiday". This "holiday" turned out to be extended from the duration of the summer to mid-2018. I begged for us to return home and that I'm homesick but they kept on saying "This IS your home".

This set me back on everything I had going on back home in England. I was set back academically and life turned from nice & easy to painful & hard. All of a sudden, I was struggling and still am. And I put 100% of the blame on my parents and their stupid decision to keep me there.

So my parents, out of the blue, joked to me about a return to their country and staying there. I didn't like it and vowed that I'm not stepping foot in that place ever again. They got all sad and asked "Why not?". I told them straight up what problems I had with it. People there called me a foreigner, I kept on getting stared at, it's a shit place to live in and it practically ruined my life.

(FUN FACT: They knew about all this)

They were visibly upset and asked if I wouldn't visit even if they were old and decided to live the rest of their lives there. I said "only for a couple of days." If my (future) wife and kids wanted to go? I said that that won't happen since they probably would love it better here in England than over there.

They didn't say anything but I could tell I hurt them. Older brother said that I'm being too insensitive and I shouldn't have to be so rude.

Was I in the wrong here for letting out my true opinion on my parents' place of birth?

Btw, as to not cause controversy, I won't mention where they're originally from. ######

Response:
 NTA

There is guge differences between countries in different regions.

Since you were born and brought up in England, its not unsurprising that you would be unhappy their. I think ur parents are kinda TA for what they put you through. ######


Prompt:
My (F23) cousin (F28) got married a few weeks ago. She paid for flights so my parents and I could be there. They were around 200€ each. She decided I could bring a +1 but she wouldn’t pay for their flight. A few months before I got the invite I started dating my girlfriend Maggie. I asked her if she wanted to be my +1 and she agreed. I‘m bisexual and my cousin didn’t know we were dating as we don’t have the best relationship and don’t talk that much.

However, she knows that I‘m bisexual so my +1 could have either been a male or a female. She never made any homophobic comments before but when I told her I would bring Maggie she was upset. My whole family knows about my sexuality and they are very supportive so it wouldn’t be me outing myself at her wedding. She thinks differently and doesn’t want me to steal her spotlight and be the talk of the wedding. Maybe her friends are against same- sex relationships?.

I‘ve decided not to go to the wedding because I was really hurt and I of course I didn’t want to ruin her day. Even though we’re not that close I didn’t want to be the reason she couldn’t enjoy her special day. Luckily we hadn‘t booked a flight for Maggie yet but my cousin had already booked the flight for my parents and I. I didn‘t bring it up to her beforehand that Maggie would be my +1 because I simply thought it wouldn’t be a problem. My cousin was very angry and upset that I wasn‘t coming and wanted me to pay for my flight which I refused.

It caused a huge family drama and I got quite a few messages from my family that I should have just gone to the wedding without my SO or should have paid her back the money. My cousin now demands an apology and still asks for her money. My friends are conflicted because I could have asked my cousin beforehand if she was okay with me bringing a girl, but when I came out to my family she never voiced that she wasn’t okay with this.

AITA for not paying and should just suck it up ?. ######

Response:
 NTA

There is clearly more as to why she doesn't want you to bring Maggie. If your entire family knows then you wouldn't be stealing the spotlight.

Also, you definitely do not owe her an apology or the money for the tickets. Number 1, you didn't do/say anything rude to your cousin so she should apologize to you. And number 2, if she didn't want to pay for the tickets then she shouldn't have. Unless you asked her to pay for your ticket there isn't really any reason to pay her back. ######


Prompt:
I (16f) found out a few days ago from doing an ancestry kit that my dad isn’t my real dad . That wouldn’t have bothered me that much but it turns out that my biological father was my mother’s ex boyfriend who my mum cheated on with my dad.

Bio dad didn’t know my mum was pregnant until after I was born as she ended it with him when he found out about the affair. She told him he wasn’t the father. She refused to do a dna test because her parents preferred her new boyfriend and I’m pretty sure she tried to get a restraining order.

Aita for getting angry at my mum after my aunt told me the story ? ######

Response:
 NTA

The man who raised you isn't either, your mom told him he was the father and had no reason or proof to doubt that. He shouldn't have slept with someone in a relationship, but that's an entire different issue.

Your mom denied you and your biological father years of a chance of a relationship. Probably because in her mind she wanted the man who raised you to be your father and convinced herself this was true.

Once you begin with a lie like that you can't stop. The man who raised you still is your father, you shouldn't treat him as anyless if was a good father to you.

But he should support you tracking down your biological father if you wish to ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have been looking for a home in the place where I grew up for around three years now. We have found a number of goodies and have even put in a few offers, but nothing has stuck.

Until a few weeks ago, when we found our DREAM HOME (old farmhouse, 15 acres, perfect location, and places for us both to work from - he is a mechanic and I am a photographer). We instantly began dreaming about raising our family there and staying until we are in our late seventies or so. We are both just shy of thirty now.

The offer and contract process was a bit difficult, we had to jump through lots of hoops financially and had to prove to them - for some reason - that we could afford to service the mortgage we were taking out. We ticked every box and signed the contract last week - hooray! We got our current house up on the market and have spent roughly 5k on repairs here, inspections there, conveyancing, marketing etc. All is going well.

Until today. We got a call from their agent telling us that they have changed their mind about selling.

Without going into too many details, their circumstance has changed and they can afford to stay there.

Legally, they have no leg to stand on, we own the house and cooling off is over.

Morally, I’m not sure. They have owned the house for less than a year (I would feel differently if they had owned it for twenty years and it was a family home), and they have said they want their friends and grandchildren to enjoy it and make memories there. We want to raise our children there and create memories of our own.

Are we the assholes if we proceed with the sale, even though they have told us this is their dream home and we would be taking that away from them?

Ah. Thanks in advance. ######

Response:
 NTA

That's what contracts and cooling-off periods are for. ######


Prompt:
I've been living with my current roommate for about 5 years now, and she has a habit of leaving her shoes (sometimes several pairs) in the middle of the floor in the entryway, right in front of the door.

I've been tripping over these damn shoes for several years now, and about a year ago i was sick and tired of moving them by hand, so i started just kicking them out of the way instead. Several times i've told her to please put them to the side so they aren't in the way, but it's fallen on deaf ears every time.

One day we were out getting groceries together she saw me kicking her her shoes out of the way as we walked in with heavy bags in our hands, and she told me to stop kicking them. I responded with "No, why won't you just put them out of the way instead?".

A few days later, shoes still there, i got fed up. I put her shoes on top the closet, which is too high up for her to reach, just to prove a point. When she finally noticed she got furious and asked why i would do that, and if i did it just to prove a point. She called me an AH, we argued for a couple minutes, and it ended when she went out the door. It's never been brought up since.

Well, it actually worked. The shoes aren't in the way every single time anymore, but i've been wondering if i went about it the wrong way? Frankly, i felt like i was out of options.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Some people just need a little extra motivation to be considerate ######


Prompt:
I raised 3 kids pretty much on my own. When my oldest was 17, she got pregnant and  had a baby boy that she was no way ready to care for (her words). I adopted him and have been raising him on my own. I had talked to her about birth control and safe sex in the past, but this time I made sure to actually get her on birth control. She  moved out and over the years my other biological children did as well. Then when my daughter was 22 she got pregnant again. This time, she claimed she wanted to raise the child and tried, but eventually felt too overwhelmed and asked me to take him. I adopted this child and have been raising him. She still sees the boys a lot, they know she’s their bio mom, but that I’m raising them.

Since then my daughter has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and has been in and out of treatment. Last year, she (then 25) got pregnant again. I told her that I could not raise another child. Financially, emotionally, etc., I’m drained. I said that she needed to decide whether she was ready or to give the baby up to someone else (she told me when it was too late to abort). She tried to convince me otherwise, to at least help her raise the baby and I said no. She ended up giving the baby up for adoption and I never met him nor do I have contact, because I knew I’d get attached.

My daughter still resents me for this. She has an open adoption with the child and is doing a bit better herself but says that she wishes I had helped her more. She has guilted me at every turn and made me seriously wonder if I did the wrong thing. ######

Response:
 NTA

She's a fully grown women and she needs to grow up and needs to take responsibility for her actions rather than have you bail her out all the time ######


Prompt:
Shes 38f(im 29F if it matters), divorced 2 times, 1 kid from each, high school diploma, and a secretary. which i dont find anything wrong with shes getting by fine enough. But she keeps complaining about being single and how no "real man" that meets her standards will step up for her and her kids.

Her standards are mostly not too bad, around her age, respectful not sexist or racist, likes kids but there are a few that seem kinda unreasonable given her life... : never married and no kids, at least a bachelors, high earner so he can support the entire family while she quits to get a degree.

Basically everything she isnt, and something very rare among men in their late 30s. and the reason she wants himchildess may be the worst, she doesnt want to raise another womans kids but expects him to raise 2 other guys kids.

I told her that her wants were a bit hypocritical and she blew up, called me sexist, then went on to call mom about it so Ive been getting angry texts from her now too... ######

Response:
 NTA

She has some real issues if she doesnt see the double standard in her requirements for a partner. Good luck to her finding someone like that with the attitude she has (throwing a fit and calling you sexist for calling her double standard out) because she probably won't. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway daughter has Reddit

I have two kids one 14 year old son and another 16 year old daughter. A few weeks ago was my son birthday and he got a Nintendo switch two games and a pro controller. My daughter was upset and wanted me to make the gift a family gift. I told her no as it was my sons birthday gift and that was his own personal device he does not need to share. My daughter complained how my son got a better gift than her but I told her we spent 650 on the art supplies she wanted.

My daughter has not talked to me since the birthday and my ex wife called me up and told me I was a bad parent for not making the console be shared as video games are supposed to be shared. i told her no but I do feel a little guilty so  for not forcing my son to share his Nintendo switch because my daughter wants to play ######

Response:
 NTA

She got what she wanted and she wants more.  If she wanted a Switch, she should have told you so.

You're not a bad parent but your ex-wife is making it sound like you are.  Your ex-wife should buy your daughter a Switch if she wants one so badly. ######


Prompt:
Recurring situation: live-in BF says he’s going to run to the convenience store that’s about a 2-minute drive from the apartment. Usually asks if I want something to drink, etc.

About half the time he comes right back. The other half, he comes back 30-45 minutes later, sometimes longer. Usually, it’s because he’s buying weed. Sometimes, it’s because he smokes with an acquaintance.

When he returns during these longer trips, I usually make a comment about him taking a while to go so close to home. He usually gets annoyed, then tells me where he’s been.

I’ve told him many times that I don’t care that he’s gone/doing what he needs to do, but I think it’s dishonest to tell me he’s going around the corner and then be gone for up to an hour. He says that it’s controlling that I want to know where he is/ what he’s doing all the time. He also says that he doesn’t tell me when he’s going to his dealer BC he doesn’t want me to be upset with him. The only thing I’ve ever said to him is “But I thought you just bought some yesterday?” Apparently he thinks this comment is unnecessary.

FWIW, he really is buying weed.  AITA for thinking this behavior is tantamount to lying/dishonesty—even if it’s over something small? ######

Response:
 NTA

Relationships are built on trust and he’s eroding yours with his behavior. ######


Prompt: I'm a 15 year old and the a few days ago I got told I have a condition that will kill me in a year or 2 and there's nothing they can do to help me. I had told my girlfriend and my two best friends and was going to tell the rest of my close circle of friends after school at my house. However my parents informed the school and they informed the teachers and when I walked into my maths class my teacher said 'I heard about your terminal condition I'm sorry to hear about it, if you ever want to talk to my office is always open' and the whole class heard and by the end of the day everybody in my school knews and I didn't even get a chance to tell my other friends. After she said that I shouted at her because I wasn't ready for many people to know and then I stormed out of the classroom and am refusing to go to maths. I don't have to worry about my GCSE (very important national exams) as I already know the syllabus and when I did a practice paper in exam conditions I got 87% (good enough for the top grade), so I'll just need to continue practicing so that's not a problem. A lot of my friends are saying that I'm being unfair because she didn't mean to and that she's rly upset that I refuse to come to her class while others completely agree with me. The main problem is that my parents are saying I'm being petty and that everyone was going to find out when I died anyway so it shouldn't rly matter so AITA. ######

Response:
 NTA

Probably going to be unpopular saying the teacher is an asshole here BUT:

Sounds like the teacher meant well, but she should have chosen better timing. If this were a random adult she may be forgiven for making this slip-up, but in the UK teachers are regarded as 'in a position of trust'. They are trained on handling confidential information, which medical information is a part of.
And Imo this is what makes it inexcusable that the whole class was informed of confidential information. ######


Prompt:
**Not sure if I'll get a lot of hate but only serious replies please.**

My wife(29f) and I (30m) went to her friends house to let our kids play together (both around 2). I'll call them Jack and Jill. I had never met them before but my wife told me their kid was a terror the last few times she saw them.

Things were going pretty well. Jack and I were at the grill when I commented, 'Your boy is so well behaved...' and I said something about how other toddlers don't like to share and throw tantrums. We joked back and forth about kids wrecking stuff until the girls came up and asked what we were laughing at. I told Jill how their kid was well behave and she blew up on me.

Quick note, my wife is white and I'm asian. Jack and Jill are black. Jill pointed out it was racist to assume her black child would not be well behaved. Being jokey/tipsy I said, 'I didn't think the terrible twos typically care about race.' Well it didn't go over well with Jill and she started screaming that I'm a 'racist republican.' Jill was super cold and implied I should go. I suggest my wife and daughter stay and I'd pick them up later. I apoligized and ended up just playing some golf until they wanted to be picked up. Jack came out to apologize for his wife. I apologized for being insensitive and if I affended them. He said no he did not think so and I thiught that was that.

My wife later said she didn't think I said anything wrong. Jill put up a facebook post about it later without pointing me out personally.

AITA here?

Side note: I'm conservative and typically voted republican (didn't vote in 16 and won't in 20). My wife likes to joke about it with friends and family. So I assume thats how Jill knew I was republican. I avoid bringing it up or talking about it because I hate talking politics when I want to have fun/relax. ######

Response:
 NTA

Pretty sure the terrible twos really aren’t a race thing. Some kids are easy and some suck. The only one making it a race thing is your wife’s friend. ######


Prompt:
My (28f) husband (30m) and I have been together for 8 years, married for 2. Shortly before we got married, we purchased our home.

We’re at a point now where we’d like to start trying for children. My husband’s father has a rare genetic disease that is similar to Parkinson’s. He’s wheelchair-bound and has little control of his movements.

My husband and his sibling both have a 50% of having inherited this disease from their father. It’s an awful disease and I hate watching my FIL struggle. My husband and his sibling were recently talking about going for testing to determine if they’ve inherited the disease. My husband is nervous because he doesn’t want to find out if he has it or not.

I’m scared of this disease being passed along to my children. Obviously I wouldn’t leave my husband, but I’d like for us to know and that way, if he does have it, we can explore our options.

The other day, he wanted to have a serious conversation about us beginning to try for children. I was open and honest and said that I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of having children just yet and I’d like for him to get tested for the disease along with his sibling.

He got very defensive and said that I’m being selfish. He accused me of not wanting to have a family with him, of being ashamed of his family (the disease is caused by generations of in-breeding, low population density of where is parents are from). I’m not ashamed or embarrassed, I just want to ensure that our future children will be healthy.

AITA for wanting him to get tested before we have children?

TL;DR my husband’s father has a rare genetic diseases that my husband has a 50% chance of having inherited. I don’t want us to start trying for children until my husband gets tested for the disease. ######

Response:
 NTA

passing along a late-onset disabling genetic disorder would be a crappy thing to do to a child ######


Prompt:
My 16 year old son got a tattoo without telling me. I saw it accidentally few days ago. He told me he got it an year ago.

 I was pretty mad. Not because of the tattoo itself necessarily. It’s a small one that says “I met him by chance”. He told me that it was lyrics of the song he likes. I’m mad that he didn’t ask me about it and got it secretly. I told him that if he asked, I’d think about it and maybe I’d let him get it, but since he went behind my back he’d face the consequences now.

He was supposed to meet up with his friends and have a sleepover(Lockdown is starting to lift slowly where we live)I told him he couldn’t do it anymore and he’d have to put it off for now. He was absolutely pissed. He’s completely ignoring me now. His brother(19) thinks that I’m being too harsh and it’s not that big of a deal. ######

Response:
 NTA

Of course they think you're an AH, they're not even out of their teens. "I can't trust you and you clearly have no issue lying to my face so no, I won't be hosting your friends in our space/letting you have that much freedom" is pretty damn tame for getting a pretty serious permanent body mod. If you were trying to punish the 19 yr old, you'd be in the wrong because he is an adult. The 16 yr old is still your responsibility, though.

Meanwhile, did he give it to himself/get a friend to do it or did a shop do it? If a shop did it, you really need to report them. Regardless, make sure a pediatrician gets a look to make sure everything has healed up all right (it should've if it's been that long, but better safe than sorry and he could be lying about the timeline as well) and if it wasn't done by a professional try to find out what they used for ink. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway as I don't want to use my main.

When lockdown happened in March my mum asked could she stay with my wife and I while lockdown was happening as she was worried she'd get lonely during it. I asked my wife and we agreed as we both get on with her well and often go on holidays together abroad.

I thought things were going fine but today my mum seems to have snapped. I said to my wife 'love you beautiful' and my mum snapped shouting 'how many times a day do you two have to say you fucking love eachother?' we were both taken back and I told her we probably say it 4 or 5 times a day which to us doesn't seem excessive. This annoyed her further and she said 'youve been together 8 years now. That's well past the honeymoon stage of saying I love you constantly'. My wife started crying at this point so I told my mum she had to apologise if she wanted any chance of staying under our roof or she could go home. She said a very sarcastic sorry and stormed off to her room and won't come out. My wife has asked me not to force her to leave because she doesn't want to create any drama and my mums probably just stressed from being in lockdown so long.

I'm now starting to wonder if I'm an asshole for telling my wife I love her infront of my mum. We don't say it constantly around her, maybe twice a day and the other times are when it's just the two of us. ######

Response:
 NTA

My husband and I kiss (just a small peck) and say I love you almost every time we pass each other and we’ve been married 14 years. She’d hate living with us lol ######


Prompt:
My parents are divorced and in the last 5 years he's had 5 girlfriends. Not all at the same time haha, one after the other.

He's definitely got a physical type, like they're all short, petite, white, have long dark colored hair, soft spoken, dress very feminine but modest, thirty-something, etc. Like freakily similar, if you got them all in a group people would probably think they're related.

I have confused them for each other, and I'm not doing it to be petty, I swear. It's always been an honest mistake.

It's been hard to not, when he dates so much, doesn't even take a break between relationships, introduces them all to me but never stays with anyone long enough for me to really connect with them, etc.

My mom has the bigger share of custody, so I don't actually spend a lot of time at my dad's anyway. Which makes it hard for me to get to know any of his dates.

I don't have any dislike towards the ladies he's dated, honestly I'm just frustrated with him because it seems like he's not really ready to have a relationship and that's why all his relationships fail after less than a year.

But a couple times, I've said stuff like "can we all go back to (city) as a vacation" and my dad will get mad at me like "Girlfriend has never been to (city)" ... Because I'd accidentally misremembered going with one of his exes.

Or when I was telling a story to some family friends about traveling, and I said "And we were with my dad's ex Jen" and my dad got upset and corrected me.

He's mostly been mad when I say something in front of the lady he's currently dating, confusing them with an ex. And I honestly feel bad when that happens, but it's always been an honest mistake, and I don't think they believe me.

AITA for this? ######

Response:
 NTA

My cousin's mom is on her 5th husband and her dad is on his 4th wife. She now calls all the husbands Bill and all the wives Jill. ######


Prompt: Well for starters, my stepdaughter is seven. I've been in her life since she was 3 and I love her like my own. Because of covid she has been spending a week at her father's and a week here when she normally spends just weekends at her father's. I look forward to her coming home. Well lately my wife has been yelling at my daughter for small things. And by yelling I mean actually yelling. Like yesterday my daughter had eaten some gummy bears and immediately after went to use the bathroom. My wife instantly yells at her for not picking up the wrapper. Yesterday as well she got yelling at for not picking up her toys immediately after she was done playing with them. This has been going on for awhile just Minor problems she gets yelled at for and I have brought it up saying she's just a kid and isn't being bad. I can see it on her face how upset and confused she is not knowing she's doing anything wrong and in my opinion she's not. Well yesterday was her first day home in a week and for her to get yelled at like that bothered me. So I said something to Cassandra and now she's pissed off at me saying I'm calling her a bad mother. I stated I am not but she doesn't need to be screamed at all the time. She still is upset and mad at me, but hasn't yelled at her since. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 Nta

Kids learn by repetition. You repeat things a milion times and show by example. She might think yelling the way it's done but in over all it just ends up in a way that a kid doesn't want to confide when a real problem ensues.

It's possible the kid shows some habbits her father has and your wife unconciously hates them because she is reminded of her ex. I doubt solving problems with yelling is something she wants her kid to pick up. Don't give up on this please. ######


Prompt: Recently my mother decided she wants to paint our house and she game up to me and asked me if I wanted to paint the back of our house and the walls in our back garden for money (she is hiring a professional to do the front). She said it shouldn’t take me more than about 2 or 3 days but upon closer inspection it could easily take somebody upwards of 5 days to do, I have a pretty big back garden. She said she would give me €50 for painting the back of the house, which would probably have taken me about 4 or 5 full days of painting nonstop. I said that quote was a bit unreasonable and that I’d rather not do it. She immediately went crazy, saying things like, you’re a disappointment and an embarrassment and I don’t want to look at you. AITA for not wanting to do this 5 day job that she offered me €50 for. To put it in context if I painted 8 hours a day for 4 days that would be about 32 hours giving me just about €1.50 per hour of work. ######

Response:
 NTA

Just paid $450 for some guys to paint 1 side of my house(took 6 quarts of paint, plus trim)

€50 probably wouldn't even cover the cost of the paint ######


Prompt:
I have a rat with a mammary tumor, and I decided that I need to get it removed. She is otherwise healthy but it's growing fast and getting in the way of her movement. Unfortunately even after shopping around the cost is going to end up being almost $600.

I pay for everything with these rats and I'm even ready to pay for this bill. However I was scared of telling mom the price when I came home today so I lied and said it was going to be about $250.

Even with that amount She was shocked and started lecturing me about how unnecissary this whole thing was.

*"It's just a rat. Why do you waste your money on something like that? Just get a new one!"*

I felt really awful because I know it seems unnecissary to go to all this trouble for something that will only live another maybe 1-2 years. I just hate seeing her in such an uncomfortable possition.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

It's your money you can do what you want with it. ######


Prompt:
So a bit of a back story I'm a 16 year old Male and was extremely close to my aunt.

So today as of writing this my family and I were informed of my aunts will. She was a business owner and very wealthy so obviously she had lots of assets like houses, cars and many other things.

Her two main countries for trading in was spain and England, now after reading the will she has entrusted me with all the assets in spain (Villa and two other properties) and her children were not happy to say the least... they've been threatening to take legal action and what not and I pretty much responded with go ahead.

They've now told everyone In my family that I'm a greedy asshole for not relinquishing the property to them.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

It was her will and testament, not theirs. It’s rightfully yours. Heir by next of kin only takes precedence if no will was left. ######


Prompt:
This isn't just me, it includes my twin brother. My brother and I (17m) were an accidental pregnancy. For context, our oldest sibling is 37 and has a kid who goes to our high school. Our nearest sibling in age is 28.

My parents always made it clear that we weren't supposed to exist. They were never abusive or neglectful or anything, but they were kid of cold our whole childhood.

My brother and I will graduate high school in about a week, and will be 18 in two weeks. My parents have told us that as soon has we turn 18, we will have to pay rent. Neither of us have jobs, and we probably won't be able to get jobs right now.

I confided in my sister that I'm really stressed about this, and she offered to let my brother and I stay with her while we're in University, completely free of charge. I'm really grateful for this, and we're planning on accepting her offer.

I told my parents about this, and they freaked out. I guess my mom was planning to move to part time work and they needed rent from my brother and I to keep up with rent. They said that they have provided for us our whole lives, and we should pay them back now that we're almost adults.

I mean, it's true. They have given us everything we needed for 18 years, and I really don't want them to be homeless if they can't afford the rent, but I don't know how I would even afford to live with them.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

It is literally their job as parents to provide for you for the first 18 years.  You owe them nothing for that ######


Prompt:
I am Asian, and live in an Asian community where everyone in town know each other. We gather once every 2-3 months.

A was my classmate in university. We're not really close, just somewhat between acquantance and friend. After graduation we haven't talked much, as she got married to her long time Muslim boyfriend, being busy with the family, and I started working hard. She is known for being godly, adopts Muslim diet and doesn't miss prayer time since uni.

2 months ago, she moved to our neighborhood and we both think the gathering is a good way to get to know people. This time it was held in our place. Now you may know that most of Chinese dishes contain pork, which is prohibited in Islam. I asked several Muslim-Chinese about what do they eat, and got to know that they still make the same dishes, but replace pork by either lamb/chicken. So I made normal Chinese food with pork, and halal-dupes for A. Her husband had night shift, so she joined the party alone, and didn't look pleased when I noticed her about the food. She just didn't speak much and was keeping distance from me, so after that I had to messaged her about how did things go. Finally, she said she feels being discriminated because I served her different foods, and told me that I could always make pork-free food at first and that people wouldn't mind.

My original intention was only to respect her religion, but I feel like she has her point. So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

If you were discriminating against her, you wouldn't have cooked for her at all. IMO you were incredibly sweet by researching and cooking a separate meal for her so she would be able to eat with everyone. 100% NTA ######