Prompt:
My girlfriend and I live together. We are both pretty laid back people. Now, my girlfriend is normal weight, a little on the chubbier side but still super attractive to me. Today, she tried out a smaller dress and asked if it made her look fat.

I said she looked amazing, she said I didn't answer the question. So, I said she looked great and she said I should answer tell her the "truth". I asked if she really wanted to know the answer and she said yes.  I said the top was a little small, and not super flattering. She then got mad and said that was rude and started crying.

At this point I got annoyed, and said she shouldn’t ask trap questions if she’s going to cry about it afterwards. She claimed she wanted “support”. We’ve been fighting all day about it.

Aita? ######

Response:
 NTA

You answered. She didn't believe your answer, and asked another two times until you told her the "truth". If she didn't want an honest answer she shouldn't keep asking. I hate when people do that crap. ######


Prompt: AITA - I live in a rental house that the owners used to live in before moving so it's pretty nice. There is an in-ground pool that has a heat function, but because of electricity cost my roommate and I rarely use it. I normally swim year around at my gym, but due to the current situation I have started swimming at home using the heat pump. When I told my roommate that I wanted to start using the heat pump he complained about cost and I agreed to pay for any increases to the electrical bill (based on the average of this month last year). Since then he has been swimming every day. I told him if he was going to swim then we needed to split the bill evenly. He refused saying that whether he swims or not I would be using the pump and heating the pool and that I agreed to pay for it. I think if he's getting benefit from it, he should contribute. I'm tempted to just turn the heat off, but swimming is such a good low-impact exercise that I've relied on since injuring my knee last year. ######

Response:
 NTA

You agreed to pay for the increase in cost from **your usage** not his. It's as simple as that, and if he's abusing your paycheck because he's a cheap jerk than feel free to turn the heat off. ######


Prompt:
She’s only 20 and is pregnant. She was incredibly upset when she found out as she’s not ready for a baby and isn’t financially stable whatsoever. I felt really bad for her when she was telling me........until I asked her if she was using any protection and this is how the conversation went.

Me: Are you on birth control?

Her: No.

Me: Did you use a condom?

Her: No.

Me: Did he at the very least pull out?

Her: No.

Me: Did you take PlanB?

Her: No.

After that I told her (not in a angry tone or anything) “what did you expect? You didn’t prevent it at all it’s not really a surprise you got pregnant.” And she’s now upset with me and told me I was being incredibly rude and insensitive about the situation. I was being as comforting to her as I could but after being informed she did absolutely nothing to prevent it I got super confused as to why she was so surprised about becoming pregnant? Unprotected sex = possibly getting pregnant. I don’t think it was rude to say that as it’s a no brainer... especially since she didn’t want to get pregnant and is in no way ready? ######

Response:
 NTA

You absolutely should have called her out for being irresponsible. Pointing out that her choices lead to her current situation is the only way she might learn and correct future behavior. ######


Prompt:
33F, married, financially stable and happy with a couple cats and a senior dog

My mother (67 F) is a cancer survivor and was recently diagnosed with another, more aggressive form of tumor. Considering her history with treatment, the prognosis isn't good.

She and I aren't close. She has untreated mental health issues (I suspect BPD) that made my life hell growing up, and even in my adult years she's often tried to control my life to make it more like hers. One thing we've always disagreed on is the topic of babies. My mother *loves* babies (but not children, who have opinions) and has desperately wanted to be a grandmother from the moment she found out she was having a daughter. Unfortunately for her, I'm childfree. I like kids. I even work with babies, and I'm good with them. But I've never wanted one, and I'm an only child.

I called her after the diagnosis came in to check on her, and - in tears - she declared that now is the time that I *have* to give her a grandbaby. The doctor is giving her about a year to live, perfect timing if I get pregnant now apparently. She says this is the only thing that would make her feel better about dying.

As usual, I said no. I don't want a kid. My spouse doesn't want a kid. That's it.

Now, several of my mother's friends, who in the past had supported my decision, are calling me up to say I'm TA for refusing her dying wish. They're pointing out that my spouse and I could afford a child (true) and that we already have more space in our home than we need (sort of true), and therefore the only thing that's stopping me from popping out an infant in 9 months is, in their opinion, that I'm a horrible selfish child.

To be clear, I'm not going to change my mind. A lot of factors have gone into my decision not to have babies, and a few old people calling me a self-absorbed bitch won't change that, but I'll admit that perhaps I am, in fact, a self-absorbed bitch.

What say you, reddit? ######

Response:
 NTA

You Absolutely CANNOT bring a HUMAN into the world to placate a dying woman. Sorry, but that's just absurd.

Edit: anyone pressuring you into having a kid should raise the kid!! Oh, they don't want to do that?? Big surprise. ######


Prompt:
My “best” friend of about 8 years is pregnant for the second time. She blames all of her “mood swings” (aka her being pretty rude with words) on her pregnancy hormones. And listen, I get it. You’re more hormonal, you’re more moody, I understand. But that doesn’t give her the right to be downright rude in my eyes.

When I got my own apartment, she yelled at me and told me I was stupid and “how could I leave my mom”. When I had a pregnancy scare, she yelled at me and told me I wasn’t ready for kids. Blamed ALL of that on her hormones. But I mean, really.. it was just rude.

Now I confided in her a few days ago that I was having trouble with my mental health and wasn’t cleaning my cats litter box as much as I should have. She just threw it in my face when I told her I was taking my moms kitten, that she can’t keep. She throws it in my face and says “you can’t even keep up with one cats literal shit.” I’ve been doing a bit better and keeping up with it more but like... I trusted her to not judge me for that and to throw it in my face? And now she posted on facebook saying that she’s annoyed with someone’s actions. Which I mean, clearly is me lol.

I just wanna know if it’s wrong of me to be holding her accountable for her blatant rudeness. ######

Response:
 NTA

Yes, mood swings while pregnant are absolutely a thing, and they can be super intense.  But, that doesn’t excuse someone being an asshole. Her comments have crossed that line, and it sounds like she’s using the pregnancy as an excuse to say whatever she wants.

Even if the mood swings are entirely to blame on this, it doesn’t mean you have to put up with it. You are totally within your rights to just keep your distance for a bit, or through the rest of the pregnancy, etc.

Even if someone is “justifiably” rude, doesn’t mean you have to take it.

If this was actually due to the hormones, she’d feel bad afterward for saying something in the moment. ######


Prompt:
So first and foremost I must say my parents are amazing but their siblings and parents aren't as great as my parents are. When I was younger I had always wanted to be with my Aunt's and grandparents to spend time with them yet they would always ignore me in favor of my cousin who was a year older than me. At that point in my life it was only my cousin and I being the children in the family. Fast forward a few years and it was no longer just my cousin and I. It was My cousin, her brother, my sister, and I. I was sorta hoping that with two new additions they would no longer be able to focus on purely one person. I was right. They focused on my sister, and both my cousins always forgetting I was a part of the picture. This always lead to awkward holidays where everyone was having fun and I felt stuck like I was talking to strangers.

Now a days, my grandpa passed away and the family was devastated. all of them posting stuff on Facebook like "I've lost all ties to this family" or "My family is falling apart". It also just so happened that I had finally finished school and landed myself a nice job that lets me travel yet it's only now after I've left that they are trying to build a relationship with me. My parents asked me to please just try to talk to them and be nice but I always respond with "Why should I be there for them if they were never there for me?"

I feel like I'm justified in thinking this but I still feel a little like an asshole. Everyone tells me that I need to get over it because they are blood. But blood doesn't always mean family right?

So AITA?

TL/DR: AITA for refusing to talk to my family because they were never there for me? ######

Response:
 NTA

Yeah, never knew how many family members I had til I moved to popular destinations..

On that note, I’d give them one shot. Let them say what they have to say and to each person I’d reply why are they reaching out now when they’ve had X years to try and talk?  Just cause they need/should learn their actions had consequences. ######


Prompt:
So I actually made a reddit account because this has been on my mind a lot lately with the pandemic.  I'm currently quarantined in the house with my parents and younger sister.  I have a couple of food allergies which, while not severe (i.e. I won't go into anaphylactic shock if I accidentally eat a piece of a pecan), I'd rather avoid triggering if I can.  To that end, I usually end up buying snacks and food for myself that don't contain my allergens which I pay for myself.

I've been working from home, and had my snack mix next to me which I'd just closed up because I didn't want it to get stale when my mom comes up beside me.  I turn my head because she might have to ask me something and see her open up my jar, reach her hand in, and take a big handful of snack mix without saying a word to me.  I've always considered helping yourself to someone else's food without asking to be rude, so later, I mentioned to my mom that I wouldn't mind sharing if she at least asked me first since those are snacks that I paid for myself because they don't have my allergens in them.  She got annoyed at me, saying that she guesses she'll keep that in mind next time she does the family grocery run.  This isn't just my mom either, I'd just gotten myself some takeout and turned to grab a plate in time to see my dad open up the container and start eating the contents.  When I got upset, he slunk off pouting.

My sister thinks I'm being selfish and a jerk because I won't share, but AITA for wanting my family to ask before they take my food?

P.S. On mobile, and this is my first reddit post, so formatting may be wonky. ######

Response:
 NTA

Wtf, your mother and father are displaying enormous amounts of ignorance and rudness. I mean, your Dad literally helped himself to food you bought for yourself without asking while your back was turned. That's not normal at all. I would snap if my parents did that crap.

Unfortunately, my advice would be to hide your food from your parents. Utterly pathetic behaviour especially from your dad. Like serously, What the actual fuck? ######


Prompt:
**This happened before COVID-19**

I babysit kids age 2 to 10 since I was 14 (I'm now 16M). I sometimes babysit multiple of them at ones (max 4). Around August last year, there was a woman who asked me to babysit her 5-year-old son on a Saturday, which was alright for me. I ask details like allergies and such when she mentioned he wasn't vaccinated, I immediately refused and said that I won't babysit her son for the health of the other kids I had scheduled that day. She began to argue with me saying that I'm her only option left and that if I  refused she couldn't make her cousin's funeral (this is not a sob story, it was true, learned it from her sister). I still refused for the same reason as I said previously. She then left muttering something I couldn't understand.

I felt a bit guilty, but it was gone when I learned that she complained to the city council about my 'illegal' babysitting service. (It's not illegal since in my country you need a licence or something if you babysit 9 or more children per week and I only do it on the weekend, vacation or not.) They inspected me and they did say I should change a few things for the safety of the kids, but I was safe.

But was I the asshole back then? ######

Response:
 NTA

Wow, you so much dodged a bullet. She complained to city council?? Mate, if anything had happened to her kid, and I mean anything, as small as a stain on their shirt, she would have been at your throat and made you pay for it.

Also completely fair for you. No jab no play. her decision, her consequences to bear ######


Prompt:
Yesterday my boyfriend

Now to give you some clarification, its not like I particularly dress for "unwanted" attention. I do dress nice I guess, as in, I like to wear cute flats with a blazer and pretty blouse. But I'm not the type to show my cleavage and bum, and even if a gal did, thats her prerogative. Anyways I dress for myself. And no one else.

Anyways, I was out with my BF the other day as restrictions were getting lifted. I will say, I might have looked extra polished as I spent extra time on my hair and makeup for the day.

My boyfriend got upset with me about how (according to him) guys were always checking me out and today it was "bad" and I was facilitating it. I was "enabling their pig thoughts" it got pretty heated. He said it was comparable to me being "slutty".

Here's the thing. My boyfriend checks out other women. A lot. I gneenrally don't care. So for him to be upset with other dudes checking me out? Fuck that.

I told him that if he's going to check out other women, then dont be a hypocrite and controlling douchebag and be all uppity when guys do the same to me. Its not like I'm asking for their numbers.

Either its okay to you or it isnt. You can't have it both ways.

Anyways he called me a bitch after I called him a hypocrite and now that I've cooled down, im.not sure if I went too far.

AITA. ######

Response:
 NTA

Wow, just wow. It’s not even you checking out guys it’s you being checked out by them. You have almost no control over that, and it’s unreasonable to expect you to wear like a frumpy sweater 24/7 if that’s not you.

Maybe find someone else ######


Prompt:
Background & Context: I have a FT job in healthcare where I work a steady 45 hours weekly. Now due to recent additional stressors are work it’s more like 50-55 and I am mentally, physically exhausted after working all day and dealing with the additional stress/frustration/constant policy changes.

Years ago, prior to having our child she wanted to work and asked me to “help” her find a job. That “help” consisted of me creating her resume from scratch (she didn’t know how to) and filling out applications for her (each online application takes a good 15 mins to complete now) while at the time I was working FT and completing grad school FT in an accelerated program.

Incident: My beautiful, sweet wife is a stay at home mom. She cooks, cleans, takes care of our child. Today, she mentioned to me that she wants to earn some money by opening up a catering service. I told her that I think it’s a fantastic idea and outlined a complete business plan for her (watch YouTube videos to learn how to take quality professional photos with our DSLR camera, take photos of the food she makes, create a Facebook page, join various Facebook groups and start marketing, etc.). This was not what she had in mind, she wanted me to do all the front-end work; (take photos, create a Facebook page, market on Facebook and virtually network to our community, etc) and for her to just cook the food. When I told her “no and that I don’t have the mental/physical bandwidth for that due to already working a high-stress/high-demanding job.” Her response was “Fine, don’t help me or support me.” To which I responded, “I did help you by outlining a complete business plan for you; however, if this is something you want to do, you need to put in the hard work.” She knew I was firm in my decision, therefore, she dropped the idea and hasn’t mentioned it.

Few friends of ours side with me and a few friends feel that I could’ve pitched in more and am being TA.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Why is she so helpless? I didn’t know how to make a resume until I made one. If she can’t fill out a job application, she probably shouldn’t have a job. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend has a tendency to spend his entire day in discord with his friends when he is home. I normally do not care that he is spending time in their with his friends unless I am spending time with him doing something. He will oftentimes join a voice chat and sit in discord while we spend time together playing video games. I have told him repeatedly that it makes me feel like the time we spend together is cheapened because he often responds to his friends and chats with them, t when this happens it makes me feel like his attention isn't all there.

&#x200B;

I have asked him to stop joining voice chats when we spend time together, or to leave them if he is in one if we are going to start playing a game without his friends. He absolutely loses his mind and goes off about how I hate his friends, that I wan't to control him and who he talks to etc. I'm not asking him to never join back, just spend the hour or two we are doing something together without joining the chat. He also uses arguments like "I said maybe two or three things to them while we played our game." when those two or three things weren't just a quick word but rather a discussion with his friends.

&#x200B;

I've told him I wouldn't expect him to be ok with me sitting on my phone and having a conversation with someone while we went on a date, or out to dinner, he say's 'it's different' the gyst of it is I can't stand when he does it so I will ask him if he is in discord and if he is to please leave. If he joins a discord channel I will ask him to leave. this is only when we are spending time together. ######

Response:
 NTA

Why is he in a relationship with you if he can't or won't spend an hour or two alone with you? It's considered rude to be on a phone call or texting other people while spending time with someone. Everyone knows that. ######


Prompt:
One of my son’s best friends has been coming to stay with us a lot since they became friends. My son loves sleepovers and I don’t have an issue with hosting (a lot of his friends can’t as they live in trailers).

This one boy, Jackson, is great. He’s a lovely kid, but his mom sends him over without pajamas and he sleeps in his birthday suit!!!! in our beds :/

I was fine with this on a one off basis, but he’s starting to come over more now and I don’t want him to set an example of my son.

WIbTa if I mentioned this to his mother. ######

Response:
 NTA

Why does he sleep in his birthday suit? Why not in underwear and a T-shirt? ######


Prompt:
Pretty sure that I'm not the asshole but want to make sure.

So my girlfriend (24f) moved in with me (26m) like 6 months ago. I have two cats I got before I met her.  Since they are my cats, I do everything to take care of them. Including scooping the litter box every day.

No problems, and then suddenly, my gf decides that I need to clean them twice daily. Because it is gross to only do it once a day. I'm not sure why she thinks so or even really cares. She never cleans the boxes and she can't even smell them.

I kinda suspected this was some sort of test and that she just wanted to see if I would do what she said. So I decided to address her stated concerns (that it is gross to only scoop once daily) by getting some self cleaning boxes.

If she was genuinely concerned about the litter boxes being too gross, self cleaning ones will (presumably) be an even better solution than she wanted. I was considering buying them anyway, and this just pushed me to do it.

She was mad when I told her. She became even more mad when I pretended not to know why she was mad and demanded an explanation.  She eventually admitted that she was pissed I came up with a "loophole" around obeying her demand. ######

Response:
 NTA

Why do you want to be with someone so awful? ######


Prompt:
Backstory: So I have 4 siblings in total 3 brothers (ages of 19, 17 and 16) and 1 sister who is 12 and I am 14.  Me and my sister share a room, and our brothers can eat enough for a small village.  Like literally nothing lasts more than a day in my house and my parents refuse to buy anything until the week is up so there is never any snacks in the house.

Me and my sister have started stock piling snacks in our room for us to share away from our brothers cause they would just eat it all.  We keep it all in a little safe in our room, it is one of those electronic ones so it takes a code.  We both came up with just 2 digits of the code and we don't tell each other so we don't hog more food for ourselves and its always fair when we get food.

We were running low and I spent about 25 bucks filing it up, while she does put her own money in too I have way more cause I'm older and can actually leave the house tot he store by myself without anyone tagging along.  I have noticed that the cabinet can barely stay full for more than 2 weeks and I am starting to lose a lot of money.

She recently asked me if she could have something out of there close to dinner time and I told her no and to wait till after dinner if she was still hunger (dinner was about in 2 or 3 hours).  She got upset and told me to just do her a favor and I refused.  I said if she really wants something ill go to the store with her and she can buy something herself.  She wasn't happy and said I'm being unreasonable.

She was all pissy for the rest of the day and didn't speak to me for almost the whole day but got over it when we were going to bed.  AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Who the asshole is? Your parents for not controlling their sons’ gluttony to the point their daughters feel the need to hoard food in a freaking safe. That’s just begging for eating disorders to develop. Snacks are great once in a while but they need to be eating more at main meals and not hogging all the snacks meant to last a week. ######


Prompt:
Hi all! I'm pretty sure I'm the asshole here but I wanted to be certain and maybe get a bit of advice on how to move

Me [20F] and my bf [20M] were eating lunch in the kitchen today. We were reading funny Reddit comments to each other and I found an interesting fact on bees and decided to share it.

This for context: "Male honey bees are called drones and their only purpose is reproduction. They don’t even have a stinger. When they succeed in mating with a queen, their genitals explode and they die. If they don’t succeed in mating with a queen, they are dragged out of the hive by the worker bees (female) before winter, and die."

I told him this pretty excitedly because I thought it was the kind of cool slightly gross fact we love to share. He didn't think so and started getting aggressive over how it's a gendered offensive comment and I should basically know better. I tried to defuse it but it didn't work.

He started talking about how it was unfair that men were getting attacked just for being male and that people are using animals to make extrapolations on men. I tried to explain it was a cool bee fact but he blamed me for reading gendered comments from shitty subreddits. He started going on about job inequalities and how women get more benefits and he stalked out of the kitchen.

Later when he walked by me he said "Hi, Slut" really angrily.
Now I'm sitting here 7 hours later and he's still furious at me.

I'm pretty sure it was my bad from the start and I should have picked better things to share, but I feel his reaction is a bit unfair as well. AIT (only) A? ######

Response:
 Nta

Who calls their SO a slut?  Assholes- thats who. ######


Prompt:
Last year, my husband and I adopted a baby boy. We have an open adoption agreement with his biological mother, meaning we send pictures and see her once a year. There will be more contact as well as he grows up, as well.

When we met her, we knew she had an Instagram and YouTube page, where she talked about her journey. We found her through an agency, but she was up front about this. At the time, she didn’t have much of a following. In the past year, she has gained a bigger one. Not huge to the point where she’s well known, but she has 4,000 followers on Instagram and is growing.

My husband and I are pretty private people and keep our social medias locked down.  We decided that since she was growing so big, we were no longer comfortable with her posting pictures of our son on social media. We sent her this request and told her that while we would still keep sending pictures, seeing her, etc , we just didn’t want him on social media. She said that was her way of sharing pictures of him with distant family and I offered her alternatives, such as her emailing them the photos. All were meant with “sure, sure, sure”.

Then today, Mother’s Day, she made a post of different types of moms and including pictures of her with him, both from his birth and then from our visit a few months ago. I texted her and said if she kept this up, I would limit pictures. She got upset and deleted the post, editing it to a post of her holding him, but his face wasn’t shown which I was fine with. But she told me that I was wrong to tell her how to “run her account”.

Am I being difficult here? ######

Response:
 NTA

While you are being "difficult", as you put it, as his legal parents you have every right to do so and she should respect it. It's not that big of an ask really. ######


Prompt:
I'm (27M) a dad to an amazing 3 year old boy, unluckily he is the result of a ONS with a girl (25F) Julie. For the first 7 months I never even knew he existed. One day I got a message on FB from Julie telling me I had a son, I think I passed out there and then on the spot.

I was living with my parents at the time and we arranged for Julie to come by in the next few days with the baby. I'm not going to lie I didn't do much talking that day I was still in shock. Through my mom and her talking it turns out her parents had pressured her into having the baby and raising it, but Julie just couldn't do it anymore and didn't want the baby anymore. After lots of talking and tears my parents and me made a plan of what to do next, lawyer, DNA test and courts. After all that and few months I end up with full time custody of our son, it wasn't easy but with the help of my parents we coped.

For about a year I had a bit of contact with Julie but she never visited, I'd send pictures when she asked how he was doing, but she gradually stopped messaging as time went on. Me and Julie never had a formal child support payment plan in place, call it ego I just didn't want to go that route and she would give me a little bit for food and diapers when she could. But that dried up when the messaging stopped.

There were times when I messaged Julie if she could help out and she always agreed, but she never came through and then stopped replying to me at all. After months of no contact my parents convinced me that I need to go back to court and get a formal order put in, which is what I did.

This is where the shit hit the fan...I just got a flood of messages from Julie telling me how I'm wrecking her life and not letting her move on, how I'm just as bad as her parents trying to force her to be a mom and how she never wanted to be a mom in the first place. I never pushed her to be a mom to our son, I just think that she needs to help out sometimes. AITA for forcing her to pay? ######

Response:
 NTA

While I have some sympathy for Julie, in the end her child wanted or not is partly her responsibility. The interests of the kid comes first in a situation like this.

She doesn’t need or have to play mum, she just needs to pay up and make sure the kid has a roof over their head and food in the fridge. ######


Prompt:
So this might be a long one but here goes. My girlfriend (F22) and I (M25) have been living together for about 2 years, during those 2 years I have been studying while at the same time working a part time job while my girlfriend has been working full time.

We have seperate accounts but we split rent, electricity and groceries evenly.

However when something has to be paid for e.g. new phone, new clothes, feeding for the guinea pigs/fish I pay, basically anything that isn't the standard things I pay for it.

My reasoning for this is: its easier to keep track of expenses this way and it doesn't matter who's account it comes out of since it is our money anyway, because whenever we discussed these types of things we both agreed it was both our money.

So now for my last year of studying I wont be able to work since I have to do like a full time intership with a thesis. Sorry I told her we could use some of the money we saved to pay for my college (about €10.000) and she told me I should save up for it on my own so I will be doing my best more (I have the money because everything that I always have left over I invest in the stockmarket).

So I have done what she said and I now only buy stuff for myself since what I thought was our money has now apparently become her money.

So today when she asked me to come with her buy more fish for the aquarium I told her since she decided to buy it without discussing it with me when I was gone, its her aquarium so I wont be helping her pick out fish nor pay for it since our finances are now apparently separate.

She's now saying I can use "our" money to use for college but I declined and said I'd rather save up for it myself and keep our finances separate.

So reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

When you wanted to use your “joint” finances for college she told you to save up for it separately.

She’s only now changing her mind and saying you can use “our” money because your now not willing to pay for her to buy more fish and she’s realising she’s going to have to pay for them herself.

I think the telling things seems to be that it’s only joint money when she benefits from it as well. In other words she’s getting something she wants out of it (in this case new fish) yet when it was only going to benefit you (I.e find your college tuition) she wanted you to save separately.

I think you do need to sit down and have a proper discussion about finances. Because if this issue is coming up now whilst your in college and unable to work the hours you had been. There is a chance it will continue coming up in the future. ######


Prompt:
So I live next to a man, let's call him Cam, who's in his late 20's and is single. He is also openly gay. To express his identity, he attends the local pride parade every year, he hangs rainbow flags around his property and he has had multiple boyfriends, some of whom i've met. But for the past 6 months Cam's been single and I think he's getting rather lonely. Recently, he has started approaching me while i've been doing yardwork and joins me as I walk to get my mail every other day. We've been neighbours for almost 5 years now and he is well aware that i'm not gay. Regardless, he still makes an attempt to flirt with me. ( ie. sexual jokes, excessive winking, caresses my biceps and pecs, always inviting me for dinner) His advances have made me quite uncomfortable around him, as a result of this I have been intentionally avoiding him. I will often go back inside if he is hanging around the outside of my house, and I will go get my mail at extremely late hours. When I can't manage to avoid him, I try to ignore him or get the interaction done as quick as humanly possible. But last night he waited until 2:45 am for me to go get my mail. He ran up beside me and started asking me where i've been and why I have been ignoring him. I claimed that I had no idea what he was talking about and i've just been feeling under the weather. He didn't really buy it and kept persisting, it was that point that I did a complete 180 and sprinted back to my house. I've been locked inside for almost 24 hours now and i've seen him walk around the outside of my house a few times.

TL;DR Gay neighbour flirts with me and I locked myself inside because of it. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

When I started reading this, I thought, the guy’s just lonely, just be friendly and polite. Then it got into harassment territory. My opinion is you should try explaining that he’s making you uncomfortable.

If that doesn’t work (and it kinda sounds like it may not), then you may have to be more assertive in getting him to leave you alone (not mean or rude, just assertive). Good luck! ######


Prompt:
My dad died before I was born, and until I was about 7 it was just me and my mom.  She started dating this guy at her work, he had 4 kids of his own all around my age.  At first I liked it, cause it was nice to have a dad around and his kids were nice enough to me.  The dated for about 7 years and though they weren't really married every vacation and holiday was spent at their place or they would come over to ours.

The problems comes up when they officially got married about 10 months ago, we moved in with them cause they had a really big house.  But they also lived 6 hours away from us, so that means my childhood neighborhood was gone, my childhood house was gone, all my childhood friends were gone, my school that I went to since pre-school was gone and I had to move 6 hours.  As a result of all this I spend a lot of my time in my room, usually on face time with my friends or calling them.

Last night they were having a family movie night and they invited me but my friends were all getting on for a FaceTime call and I opted out of the movie night to talk with my friends.  After I was done talking my mom came into my room to lecture me about how I am "excluding" my new family.  I said that it was too much change and I need time to adjust, she said I can but that I'm being a jerk with how I'm acting through this whole thing.  AITA??? ######

Response:
 NTA

What you feel and what you’re doing is completely normal. I too had to move away from everything of my childhood so I have an idea of what you’re going through and I did the same thing.

You’re mom however, I have mixed feelings about. I understand that she wants you to bond because she probably wants everyone to be a happy family and all that jazz.
But the fact is that you were pulled away from basically everything you knew. You need time and forcing you to socialise isn’t always the answer. I feel like she lectured you because she was embarrassed about her son’s behaviour in front of her new family. Her step kids are paying a lot of attention as to how she deals with you because they know that she will be acting as a parent to them as well.
You just need time and the ENTIRE family needs to know that ie, her, the husband and his kids. His kids weren’t moved. YOU were. To be honest, if my own mom had forced me to socialise when I moved, I would have surely resented her. I’m not sure if you’ll have the same response but keep an eye out for it.
Furthermore, you’re 14 and though young, you’re your own person and have your own feelings. The fact is your mom signing a paper and moving in with a guy and his kids doesn’t magically make you family. It takes work on both sides.
If it is that you truly desire to have a relationship with your step siblings (healthy relationships aren’t forced), it will be in your own time, but remember to always remain respectful to them.
If she wants you to socialise that badly, EVERYONE would need to come together to figure out when would be a good time, and what would be fun for everyone to do.
I would also say that just because your mom found a guy that she’s in love with (which is totally fine) doesn’t make her entitled to dictate that you sacrifice the relationships with the people of your childhood that you want to keep in your life.
Next time just tell her to relax and that there’s enough of you to go around for everybody lolol! You have time during this pandemic after all!
Good Luck! ######


Prompt:
This happened last year around October.

I was at home, it was a Saturday around five pm and someone knocked on my door. I'd only been home from work for about an hour after having been awake since four am, and I was sitting down eating my dinner. I went and opened the door, it was a group of people and they started singing church hymns. They'd stuck a flier to my door that basically said "hi, we're from the local church and we've decided to start having Singing Saturdays where we'll go around town blessing people with hymns to encourage you to come to church and hear the word of God on Sundays."

When I realized what was going on I stepped back inside and shut the door, shut the curtains and went back to my dinner. They stayed outside until the hymn was over and then moved on down the street to my neighbors.

Later on, I was on the neighborhood Facebook page putting up an ad in search of a lawn mower for cheap and I saw the church had posted about "our amazing afternoon on \[street\] and how most people were receptive to the word of the lord but there was a couple of hold-outs they'd be paying another visit to." Most of the comments on the post were putting those couple of hold-outs on blast and one of the church members actually described my house and the houses of the other couple hold-outs. I reported it but considering my house is the only yellow house on the street it's pretty obvious who one of the hold-outs was.

Anyway, I was out on the next few Saturdays and didn't encounter them again but was called out on the Facebook page for not answering my door this time.

Was I an asshole because I didn't want to stand there awkwardly while strangers sang at me? ######

Response:
 NTA

What gall!  Your house, your property.  You didn't invite them over.  They imposed, they invaded, and now they think they have a right to bully and harass you?   Some people have anxiety disorders, and this would be considered a bloody nightmare to endure. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway bc it’s not a very common situation...

Ok so I’m not really sure how to say this, but it happened a few months ago, and everyone keeps calling me a bad person for it.

To start, I am a lesbian, from a very anti-LGBT family. One of my friends is also gay, and she is VERY open about it, like her whole life is rainbow themed (I.e. her hair, bags, phone case).
And we have been hanging out at like malls and everything, just anywhere but my house, for obvious reasons.

So one day, she suggests we should hang out at my house, since she has never been there for the 5 years we have been friends. I say that I would like her too, but if she would not act so openly gay around my family, because I:
1) don’t want to out myself
2) my family can be dickheads to anyone LGBT
3) they won’t let me be friends with her anymore

And she said that I was trying to discriminate against her and the LGBT community, and how I shouldn’t make her hide her true self. I get where she is coming from, but I have explained my situation to her.

Then, she told all my friends, and they all agree with her that I am an asshole. I can’t help but feel shitty, but I can’t change my situation, and I don’t want to make things worse.

So people of reddit, Am I The Asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

What a weird stance for her to take!!

You absolutely don't have to come out to your family, especially while you're still living with them. And she should be more interested in your safety than in expressing her LGBT pride to a bunch of bigots who might harass one or both of you. ######


Prompt:
My GF of 5 years whom i love recently became hardcore vegan.  We live at my ranch out in the country on a few acres of land.  I own a flock of about 15 hens and a rooster as well.  I'm not a farmer or anything but these guys are my pets.  I am to emotionally attached to my hens to eat them but have no problem with eating other meat.

My girlfriend wants to get rid of them cause they give her PTSD and reminds her of how terrible chickens are treated elsehwere.  She also gets made at me for eating their eggs without their consent.  I agreed to get rid of them because I am a pushover but then changed my mind.  she said I was a liar and a backstabber and we are having a serious problem with this.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Using PTSD, a very real + horrible disorder resulting from trauma, to guilt you into getting rid of your chickens (that you treat well!) is extremely manipulative and pretty insulting to anyone who actually suffers from that IMO. ######


Prompt:
Because of covid a lot of events had to be cancelled/postponed. As it happens, my nephew (let’s call him Zack) had his first birthday delayed. And that obviously sucks, I get it: celebrating the first birthday is a great milestone.

Fast forward to now, and my in-laws are now planning to throw a delayed “quarantine party” for Zack. Cool, no problem, sounds like fun and we would love to be there. BUT here’s the kicker: my in-laws are hosting Zack’s party on MY son’s actual birthday. It’s worth noting that my son is old enough to know/understand that it’s his birthday but their grandparents, aunt and uncle will instead celebrating Zack’s birthday (who won’t even remember because he’s 15 months old). We were not asked in advance if this would be an issue for us, which it obviously is. This also means that my in-laws and my BIL/SIL are not available/not coming to my son’s birthday. They all claim this is the only weekend that will work for a birthday party that has already been delayed by five months.

Because of the obvious conflict, my husband and I declined to attend the first birthday party. Now we’re being told that we’re being difficult and unreasonable.

AITA for wanting to celebrate my son’s birthday on his actual birthday and for being pissed my son’s feelings weren’t taken into consideration at all? ######

Response:
 NTA

Until a kid is around 3, they don’t really understand birthdays. Your kid is looking forward to celebrating with you. The extended family are TAs for not being flexible about a party for a one year old. ######


Prompt:
It's always been an unspoken rule at my home that if someone buys a console everyone could use it (though the person who got it could choose where to put it and always had a right to use it first if they wanted to). Everyone agreed with that and it was really useful because we'd be able to have a wider array of consoles.

Sometimes we'd buy games with everyone's money if everyone wanted to play that specific game. A few months back, we did that, but since the digital version was less expensive we downloaded it on my brother's Switch (I also have one, but therefore can't play it on my own Switch). I also got a PS4 that I bought with my own money that I got from working part-time.

My brother has been the one who used it the most. He uses it so much that there are often times where I wait an entire evening only to realise that it's too late to play anymore. Over the last weeks I've asked him several times if I could play that game we had bought on his Switch and he just told me to play something else.

I'm honestly pretty frustrated by his attitude and want to tell him to no longer touch my PS4. However I feel like it would be a pretty asshole-ish move to single him out.

WIBTA if I told him that ?

When I asked for a ######

Response:
 NTA

Unspoken rules aren't sacrosanct, and if they're not working there's nothing wrong with changing them. Besides, your brother can't expect to deny you a \*joint purchase\* on the Switch and also get to play your PS4, which you bought solely with your own money, whenever he wants.

This is a prime opportunity to teach him that his selfishness has consequences; make it clear to him that the PS4 is yours, you bought it, and if he's going to tell you not to play a Switch game you bought together when he's not even playing it, your PS4 is now off-limits to him until you say otherwise.

Even if you don't want to go that far with it...it's your PS4. If he's on it and you want to play it, tell him his time is up and it's your turn now. If he refuses, point out that he contributed nothing to the console and he has a Switch game he can go play instead. ######


Prompt:
We're not legally married but we have been together for more than five years. He's a combat veteran. He gas lights, uses circular logic, manipulation, and insults. We had a blow up last night. He insulted me, calls me worthless screams about the things he does for me and our baby. He apologized but says that in the heat of the moment he should be allowed to get a free pass on the things he says. He doesn't give me the same pass. Besides, I have more restraint than him.

I want to work at least part time. We have a five month old. He says I can't because I would be working at an entry level position where it wouldn't be feasible or rational because child care would cost as much as I make. I ask him if there is anything wrong with him taking the baby while I work. He says he works, he owns his own business and makes his own hours.

I tell him that what he is doing to me is abuse. That if he is telling me that I can't have a job he can't hold it over my head. That he can't scream at me during an argument about how much he works and pays to take care of us. I tell him that he can't appreciate all of the work I do around the house and that I have the baby most of the time then tell me that I am worthless and don't contribute.

He says he's not stopping me from working. I try to explain to him that when he says I can't do something it does mean that he is stopping me.

He says that he isn't an abuser and that me saying that he is really hurts him. I feel bad. I didn't scream it but I did say it because I was trying to get him to stop and realize what he does. I know it's a hurtful statement. He says he deserves an apology but I don't think I need to give him one. He won't go to counseling. I know he has PTSD, I know that his training, MOS, taught him to employ some of these tactics in order to get results. ######

Response:
 NTA

Unless you count the fact that your being and asshole to yourself and your kid by putting up with this. Is this really how you want to raise your child and live the rest of your life? With a man who puts down those around him and uses leverage to manipulate the ones he should love unconditionally? ######


Prompt:
I've been married to my wife for about 3 months now, and we had her out first serious argument when I got angry with her for calling her mom to take her somewhere while I'm home and not doing anything. She always does things like this. Calling her parents for rides or help instead of me. My friends tell me that I should be happy, but I'm not. It's ridiculous in my opinion. We're married, we live together. ASK me before you ask your damn parents like you still live with them or something.

I work during the day and she works during the night. Why not ask me to pick you up from work? Why not ask me to take you places even if I'm not going there with you? We've never even been grocery shopping together because she always asks her dad to take her. Like wtf? What's the point of being married or living together at that at? When I tried to talk to her about it she lashes out at me telling me basically the same thing my friends did, that I should be happy that she doesn't bother me for favors or anything.

But that's the fucking problem. Why are you even referring to asking your husband for something as a fucking favor?  It's not even just giving rides. It's a variety of things in general. She gets her dad to cut our grass (I'm a grown ass man, why do you think I want your damn dad cutting our grass, for free at that?), she gets her mom to pick up things like medicine and drop it off, she'll drop our dog off at her parents so they can watch him even if I'm home. The list goes on. I'm not that macho man super masculinity type, but holy shit it's degrading.

Am I the asshole here and I should be happy? ######

Response:
 NTA

Unless this is a sixth sense situation where you died but haven't realized it yet. ######


Prompt:
So this happened before lockdown... normally I hate giving wait staff a hard time because I get that their jobs hard...

So I went to dinner at a tgis with my boyfriend. We ordered starters, mains and drinks all at the same time. Starters and drinks came and it was fine. But slowly we ran out of drinks and we were in a bit of a back corner and no one was coming over...

We just kind of waited for our food but it got to about 40 minutes since we’d had our starters so we tried flagging down a waitress which took another 20 minutes and asked about our food... she was polite, apologised and left to find out about our food.

She didn’t come back... 10 minutes later we asked another waitress, same thing, she apologised then didn’t come back to speak to us... 3rd time we asked a waitress and the same thing happened again.

I was mad at this point and so we left just enough to cover the drinks and starters on the table and started to walk out... a waitress came running at us saying we can’t leave as we hadn’t paid yet. We told her that there was money on the table and she told us we had to pay for the whole meal (which we hadn’t received yet). She called the manager out and as she did this our food finally came out... about 2 hours after our starter.

We got mad as hell picked up the money on the table, gave the manager a chewing out and wrote a letter to corporate....

It’s not that they forgot about us, it’s the fact that we asked for help and they completely ignored us....

So AITA for walking out on the bill? ######

Response:
 NTA

Two hours?? Even if they were absolutely swamped then it shouldn't take two hours for a TGI's to serve a couple of mains. ######


Prompt:
I (21M) have made the decision to go to therapy. I have many issues I need to sort out. This pleased my sister (24F) cos she's been to therapy and talked about so many benefits to it.

So I have many issues I want to sort out. But I want two distinct factors in my therapist:

1) I want a male therapist

2) I want an older male, someone over 50

This is because one of my issues I want to sort is my own issues with my masculinity - what it means to be a man in today's world. I also have "daddy issues" that I need to sort and would feel more comfortable with an older male, rather than someone my own age.

Anyway when I said this my sister said I was an AH and sexist. However she specifically sought out a female therapist so idk why she is having these double standards. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Time to stop sharing those thoughts with your sis.

Once you've worked through some things, your therapist's gender probably won't matter much anymore. But at this time, before therapy, it matters. And that's okay. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is 23, graduated from college 3 years ago and works retail for minimum wage. She has a BA in international relations, but says she can't find a higher paying job or a career job. She has never paid a bill or rent in her life, I have taken care of everything for her from college, to bills, to her car, vacations etc. Only thing she pays for now is her phone bill and her expenses (I cleared a 3k CC bill for her as a grad gift 2 years ago). She lives with us and my wife and I provide all food etc.

She doesn't seem motivated to find at all to better her life, I told her to go back to college, or get her masters or something. She just says that all of her friends are in the same position she's in and she knows no one born her year ('96) that has a decent job. I find this very hard to believe that all of her friends are like this and none of them have a good job. Her brother who is graduating this June has a job paying 85k a year lined up, he has a BA in business and he even got his own apartment. I tell her that you and your brother both have BA's, how's he doing better than you already? She doesn't have an answer.

I told her that when the pandemic is over I want her to either go back to school, put in effort to find a better job or start paying bills. I told her she can live with us still but I want $500 a month for rent and groceries. I did this to light a fire under her hopefully.

She called me a huge asshole and a bad father because apparently I don't understand how hard it is to find a job that pays her at least 45k a year and is a career type job.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

Though I do want to say, it is a difficult time out there right now. I have no trouble believing that your daughter and her friends are struggling to find decent jobs. So while I don't agree that you're TA, I think you should try and be understanding of her situation and not compare her to her brother.

But, your daughter is working and earning her own money. My parents did something similar when I was around that age. She's plenty old enough to contribute to the household. What you're asking for doesn't seem completely unreasonable to me. ######


Prompt:
So this is kinda two AITAs but the first happened a month ago and I was confident I was in the right, I'm just double checking because the two events are connected.

I practice a martial art that has weight classes, so I monitor my weight all the time, except when I'm injured or for whatever reason not competing (Christmas, my wedding etc.) when I've got a competition coming up, I'll be eating very healthily and ill be strict with it, almost everyone knows this because, when you get frequent bruises/cuts/injuries, people tend to ask about them.

I was in the canteen in work a month ago, eating chicken, couscous and broccoli with one of my coworkers, who asked why I was eating healthily and I replied "well I'm pretty fat at the moment compared to normal, and I'm competing soon!" (it got cancelled of course).

Well another coworker (ella) overheard this and complained to HR that I was fatshaming, because if I called myself fat, I must think she's fat too (she is definitely overweight, but I've never said that to her, or anyone else).

Well HR suspended me for the rest of the day, "investigated" and then basically said that unless it was being sexual, I can say whatever I want about my own body. They also told me to be a little more sensitive and watch my wording around Ella.

I instead decided to just not speak to her at all. We work in the same department but all our work is independent so we have no reason to talk. Then yesterday, she complains to HR that I'm avoiding her and that I'm making it a "hostile work environment" and they again, suspended me halfway through the day pending investigation.

I have had two suspensions thanks to her and who knows what HR will say about this one, so AITA in either scenario? ######

Response:
 NTA

This woman sounds like an absolute pest. I'd contact HR myself and say you think she has it out for you.

I've never been "friends" with any of my coworkers (well, maybe like 2, over a course of 10 years). I come in, do a job, then go home. No need to talk to her if you are not cooperating on a project. ######


Prompt:
This isn't dramatic, or too serious.

We're back in lockdown, and it's been raining so my kids have had no way to run off some energy, so they're extra bratty right now.

&#x200B;

My son (10) was arguing with his sister (6). He wanted the TV volume at 25, she wanted it at 20. I stepped in and put it at 23. They kept arguing, and he picked up her makeup pallet (just glitter eyeshadow) and threw it across the room. It broke. I made him take $5 from his savings, and pay his sister to replace the broken makeup.

My son is grumpy because I 'stole' his money.

My husband thinks that I'm being harsh because he's been saving for weeks to buy a new game for his Switch, and he's almost saved enough. He thinks we should just replace it, and ground our son from tech for the day.

But my thoughts are,  my daughter paid for the make up with her own money. She put a lot of thought into picking it, and waited 3 weeks for delivery. My son knows better than to throw things in anger, and maybe now that he's been 'fined' he'll think before he acts.  I'm not making him pay the full price, just the amount that my daughter put in, I paid the rest.

&#x200B;

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

This was an EXCELLENT parenting move and lesson teacher.

Thank you! ######


Prompt:
We've been married for 4 years (me:24F and 25M)
We have 2 kids 8M and 2F, since I got pregnant with our lil girl I had so many health issues I had to quit my job, so I kinda lost all my." Social life"
Every since we got together I never went out o just hang out with friends anymore, there was always an excuse, he likes to play soccer once in a while with his friends, and I was fine with it. He has his circle of friends and play computers games on a daily basis  with his friends online.

Two days ago I mentioned I wanted to go to a party when my 2 year old kid can stay with her grandma or with him ( she is breastfeeding still), he said no right away, he said I was not going to be able to go out if it wasn't with him, and that I don't have the need to be making any other friends if I have him, (FYI I don't drink or smoke, so going out is just to dance, music and get to know ppl), and that "there's NO WAY I will ever go out alone to a party, maybe a gym"

So today he says his friend invited him to play soccer on Wednesday and I said no, I'm not going to be taking care of the kids when I can't even go out on my own because you forbid it, he said "don't expect me to love you after this.
AITA  here? Really? ######

Response:
 NTA

This sounds so far into the controlling and abusive behaviour it is hard to believe this is exactly how things went down. If it is, you need to get into some counseling immediately and/or considering terminating the relationship as it is not healthy at all.

I hope it isn't true, but that might just be wishful thinking. ######


Prompt:
So a bit of context.
I’ve been begging my husband to let me buy a car since he’s been driving me literally everywhere for over 2 years because he doesn’t want to spend money on a car or insurance. He ended up telling me no again because we need to continue putting money into our savings. I got pretty upset seeing as we have $16000 in our savings already and I just want a used car to drive myself to work.
He saw how upset I was and decided to build me my own computer so we could play video games together. I told him once a while ago that I really don’t want a computer and would rather put the $1000 towards a car. But then he started showing me different video games and won’t stop talking about it and I don’t have the heart to tell him I actually have no interest in playing any video games since they kind of bore me. Now it’s annoying the hell out of me because he’s asking me what kind of mouse and keyboard I want and complains when I tell him “I like how this one looks” because “that’s a shitty one” “that’s not a gaming keyboard” and I sort of lost it and yelled and told him “buy me whatever, I really don’t care about this at all!” And he said it hurt his feelings so I apologized and kind of lied and told him how excited I am to have a computer. Not only that but he decided to spend another $100 on wood and materials to build our computer desk. We also need to buy another chair and headset for me. At this point, I feel like if I tell him that not only do I not care about video games, but that this is all a huge waste of money to me, he would be extremely upset and I really don’t want to hurt his feelings. Should I just try to get into video games for him or should I tell him the truth? ######

Response:
 NTA

This seemed like it was full of red flags for financial abuse, so I checked your post and comment history. My friend, you are absolutely in an abusive relationship. Your therapist is right. Not only is he controlling you financially, he's manipulating you emotionally, limiting where you can go/who you can see, and he *has been physically violent.* You are *not* the asshole for not wanting his pretend present here. You need to get out and I sincerely hope you take these comments to heart. *You are being abused.* ######


Prompt:
Excuse my English, it is not my first language.

1 year ago my sister became vegan overnight after watching a documentary called Dominion, she quickly started making changes to our home, from making our parents change salad dressings, to have her own pans and a lot of stuff that personally bothered me.

What I did next I know I was the asshole, and  I am not asking about this part but it is important for context. I told my sister, that her whole vegan thing was bothering everyone in the house and from now on I was going to make sure it didn't even help animals, so I said to her "for every animal you don't eat I am going to eat three, so you being vegan is a net negative for animal welfare". So I switched overnight to a extremely meat heavy diet.

Well I didn't expect it but I feel much better eating this way, I have more energy, my skin cleared up, I have no brain fog, I actually feel amazing. My sister came crying to me the other day to stop eating the way I do and to "grow up" and eat like a normal person. I told her that no, I would keep eating the way I like to eat and I was sorry I started my new diet for a wrong reason (to piss her off) but now I mantain this diet because I like it and I feel better following it. She called me inmature and my parents are siding with her, so am I the asshole for not budging to my sister demands to change my diet? ######

Response:
 NTA

This might be an unpopular opinion but it’s your diet and no one should have control over it except yourself or a doctor (but only for health reasons not personal beliefs). You were petty do start your diet for that reason but she can’t demand you change it especially if you feel healthier now than you did before ######


Prompt:
Okay, so, this is an ongoing thing now dating back to my pregnancy with our baby (1). My husband likes to leave and go do his own thing, which is fine; he needs a break. Parenting is hard and we already have a 5 year old.

The problems:
-the day after we brought our baby home from a very traumatic birth (I hemorrhaged and almost died) my husband left to go to the next town over and was gone for hours.

-I had postpartum depression. He constantly left me home by myself with both of our kids for hours. He was never affectionate and just acted like he didn’t like me and our family anymore.

-he lied to me. A lot.

-he still leaves to go do things on his own for hours at a time. He offers to take us sometimes but our baby can’t hang out that long and he knows it, but he isn’t willing to leave when he’s tired and he also won’t carry the baby (25 lbs) so I have to hold him for hours while standing up.

-he says he can’t watch the kids for me to do anything on my own. The few times he has had our baby, the baby acts like he doesn’t know who he is, for good reason. He only knows his mom and brother honestly. I’ve caught him being too rough with the baby before too. He also pops him already which I do NOT think he’s old enough for.

-I haven’t even got to take a shower by myself in a year. I always have to bring the baby in with me.

So we occasionally argue about this stuff because sometimes I bring it up and it makes him feel bad so he leaves. AITA for being upset and bringing it up to him? ######

Response:
 NTA

This man is not a husband or a father. He is sperm donor who happens to live under the same roof as you.

Drag this man to couple's counseling ASAP. Or don't. You might just want to save yourself the time and file for divorce. ######


Prompt:
In December 2019, my therapist recommended I take an appointment with my doctor to be prescribed antidepressants due to how I was feeling at the time. Now, back then I was 17 so I couldn't make an appointment at my doctor's without my parents knowing. When I mentioned to my parents what the therapist recommended they didn't agree to this and told me they didn't want me taking meds. According to them, I didn't need them.

Skip to about mid-February 2020, I'm now 18 and still feeling the same due to my constant anxiety and depression. I said to myself "fuck this, I wanna get better and do what my therapist recommended". So I phone my doctor, telling my parents I wanna renew my skin treatment prescription (I actually did need one and got one at the same time of getting a prescription for my antidepressants). They give me the money and I have my medical insurance card (I live in a country where doctor appointments are mostly reimbursed by the state) and then head to get my prescription. The doctor prescribed me sertraline and I started taking 25mg of it every day for about a month and a half.

Skip to a few weeks ago where my parents found out about it during an argument I had with them. They found out and are pissed at my doctor and my therapist for not telling them I was taking antidepressants. I am considered an adult by both my therapist and doctor. I believe it's their right to not tell my parents considering I'm old enough to make my own decisions.  The sertraline was paid for by the state so my parents weren't paying for it. They believe that I disobeyed them and that I'll have to change both doctor and therapist because they both broke that trust that my parents put in them to take care of me.

I hope this all makes sense and that it's all well written. So, AITA for not telling my parents I was taking antidepressants for a month and a half? ######

Response:
 NTA

This is your private medical business as you are an adult. You're allowed privacy, and since your parents aren't even paying for it, it's really none of their business. Your doctors aren't making crazy or irresponsible decisions here. ######


Prompt:
I’m 17M and my step sister , Amber is 18F.

My mother has been with my stepdad for 9 years.

I usually spend two weeks of the month with my dad and Amanda usually spends every weekend with my stepdad.

I’ve never gotten along with Amber, we’re extremely different people, we usually avoid each other, when Amber wasn’t out she was in her bedroom moody, she’d throw it in my mothers face that she isn’t her mother and then cry like she was the victim.

Amber is pregnant and her mother doesn’t want her living with her anymore so Amber reached out to my mother and asked to live with us.

I can’t tolerate being around her let alone with a crying baby so I told my mother I’d be staying with my dad and visit the weekends if Amber moves in.

My mother is  extremely upset and my stepdad is accusing me of being immature and making her pick between Amber and me, he told me I’m being irrational and spoilt.

WIBTA? ######

Response:
 NTA

This is your living environment as well, you have every right to be where you're comfortable and able to thrive in an individual basis. ######


Prompt:
Hello people I’ll keep it short. My boyfriend of 4 months recently told his mom about my eating disorder without telling me. We went to his parents house just to see how’s everyone is doing since it’s been awhile. He’s an amazing cook, so he was helping his brother with dinner  I was setting the table. We were talking about how our day was and the conversation follows B= boyfriend BB= boyfriend’s brother Me=.....take a wild guess lol

B:The food is great

BB: thanks I even made cake

B: yes I love your cakes

Me: I do too

BB: well with your eating disorder I’m sure you can eat the whole thing Me

Silence....

I looked straight at B he was red in the face probably from embarrassment and angry. Dinner quickly finishes after that. Before we leave mom (she’s basically my mom too at this point guys I really love her) apologize like crazy I said it’s not her fault and we leave and go home then I told him I’m going to stay the night at friends and of course he thought it was the end and I assured him that we are not breaking up but what he did really hurt me. When I first told him and he swore up and down he would never tell anyone cause some of his other family already picks on my appearance (I’m black and he’s white) I just went to my friends and cried I’m not gonna leave him but he tends to overshare with his family sometimes we have talked about him over sharing countless of times but nothing works

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

This is such a huge violation. You know that. He didn't just share it without your permission, he shared it with someone who was then cruel about it. I am sorry your boyfriend did this to you. ######


Prompt:
My wife is a klutz, and she completely misses things that are so blatantly obvious to me that it's driving me crazy. Things like leaving glasses of liquid within reach of our one-year-old who, assuming this isn't normal, is obsessed with getting into anything and everything she shouldn't get into. My wife leaves her $800 phone sitting on the couch and then complains for days when she can't find it after the baby stashed it somewhere. I am aware that she likely has adult onset ADD.

She frequently sets full cups of liquid on the center console on my car, only to act so surprised when it spills when I make a turn, or she gives non-sealed drinks to the baby in my car and can't understand why I expected her to anticipate the obvious outcome. This is a problem I've witnessed for eight years of knowing her, and I thought she'd outgrow it, but she hasn't.

Last weekend she decided to take my $1000 laptop, which I use for work, and let my niece have a zoom call with her preschool class. That's fine I guess, but it's the fact that she left it on a night stand where my one year old could reach it and push it onto the floor, snapping the power cord off inside, that bothers me. She walked away from an expensive item, knowing it was within reach of our destructive child, and does not think I am entitled to be as angry as I am at her. She blames everyone else, even my five-year-old niece somehow. Most of all she's now mad at me for yelling at her in front of my family (where we happened to be when I discovered it was broken.) I think I'm entitled to be mad because, as an adult, I expect her to anticipate things like this and prevent them from happening, but she never does. Am I the ass hole? ######

Response:
 NTA

This is not an ADD or ADHD issue.  I am not saying your wife doesn't have ADD/ADHD, it is possible that she does.

However, if this is repetitive behavior it means your wife lacks common sense and is generally careless.  Your wife's actions are saying she can't be bothered to be responsible or think ahead.

I am an adult and have ADD, I am very easily distracted.  I feel bad for my friends and family because I can derail a conversation faster than a nascar crash.  My best friend says she enjoys watching me in action, because I have no pattern to follow or interpret.  So, it's always a surprise how things will end up.  And I do genuinely struggle with completing tasks, because I do get distracted and end up exhausted.  It has taken me years (if not decades) to master basic routines that should be easily acquired.  Like laundry or keeping the kitchen clean while preparing a meal.  Reading a book takes me forever, because my mind will wander and it is a struggle to get it back on track.

With that said.  I am not careless and I do feel like I possess decent common sense.  As in, we simply don't have drinks in our cars that don't have a lid on them.  This applies to children and adults.  And because I don't want to burden myself or anyone else with having to clean up a sticky mess, we usually only allow water in the cars.  And I would never hand over an expensive electronic device to a child, let alone walk off and leave them unattended with one either.  Both are just disasters waiting to happen.

Should you have yelled at your wife in front of your family?  Probably not.  But if this is a chronic problem for her, and she has yet to make any changes to her behavior, then it was bound to happen at some point.  And it just so happened, this was that moment. ######


Prompt:
My brother has been needing a haircut. I am a cosmetologist and I worked really hard but in the end i decided it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. My brother has been asking me for a haircut for a few days now but the time has never worked out. My mom got it in her head he needed a haircut today. I said I could do it tomorrow but we have "plans tomorrow" so it won't be possible. She said she would just borrow my stuff. I gave her my clippers, guards and thinning shears but I said my scissors are mine and I don't let anyone use them but me.

They are 1500 dollar scissors. I saved up 3 months to be able to buy them. You have to be careful with them. Plus if you drop them they will be ruined. (She is also cutting his hair on the driveway) She has clippers and scissors  they are just really cheap so it is really hard to cut hair with them. I get it is nice to have nicer scissors. I basically told her no they are mine. She starts getting mad and telling me how I am ungrateful and don't want to be apart of this family. That I am selfish and don't realize how they let me use there stuff all the time. I then say fine you can use the scissors and bring them to her. She says I have shown her how I really feel and she doesn't want them. That I have shown her that my scissors are more important than our relationship.

I apologized again and ask her if she is sure. No, I need to get out of her face and think about how I have acted. I go down to my room and just cry. She brings me back my clippers and then tells me I need to get a grip and think about other people. I just feel absolutely shitty and I want to know if I was an asshole for saying no initially to her using her scissors. ######

Response:
 NTA

This is how adult toddlers act when they dont get their way. Professional  tools are not to be used by people who do noot respect them.

Not letting someone have their way is not disrespectful nor is not letting your parent treat you like you are 5 and eating paste for your pastime. ######


Prompt: So my girlfriend was driving to my place and got pulled over by a cop for a traffic violation. She immediately calls me crying and tells me to come down to help with the situation. I try to calm her down and tell her that I'd be down there. By the time I arrive things aren't going well: she's sobbing and yelling at the cop (this was the first time something like this has happened to her). I decide it's best not to get directly involved, especially since the situation seemed pretty heated and tbh I'm not sure what I could do to help at that point. After the interaction is over, I go over to settle her down but she's furious blaming me and saying things like I live in a "stupid part of town with stupid driving rules" and that I was a "coward" for just watching it all happen. She says she can't trust me and that I wouldn't take a "bullet" for her... AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

This is how a normal person gets a ticket: step 1-try politeness/innocence (“I’m sorry officer, I didn’t realize I was going so fast.”) step 2: resignation “fine, just write the ticket already.”

They don’t 1) scream at the cop 2) sob and cry at the cop 3) take the time to call their bf while dealing with the cop 4) make this a big production that last so long! 5) expect someone to magically fix issue 6) refuse to rake any responsibility for themselves ######


Prompt:
I(20f) have been using this system since I was 18. I google pictures of penises and just send them one back.

Ignoring means they think they can escalate it to things like soft porn, or begging me for my nudes cause they sent one first so it's only fair.

Blocking has often resulted in them making new accounts to send me dick pics on or finding me on other social media.

This is the only what I have found that works to make them stop. I feel bad for it, but I can't think of anything else to do. ######

Response:
 NTA

This is hilarious. If it is unsolicited and they want to harass you, I feel this is a great response. ######


Prompt:
It sounds really really wrong, but hear me out. My dad passed away 2.5 years ago when I was 17, leaving me 20F  and my sister 18F with our crazy mother. She’s abusive and i moved away as soon as I could.

My dad was cremated, and she has kept his ashes hidden somewhere in her room since then, it the white box the funeral home gave him to us in. She held a very small service, and no obituary. Here’s where everything comes into play, my mom is very orthodox Catholic, and is aware that having someone’s ashes in your home is forbidden, so she wants to bury his ashes somewhere with a tombstone that has no name on it. My sister and I are not religious at all, and we would both like just a little bit of him to keep with us. I bought two very small urns and am planning on stealing some, my dad was a fantastic person who I believe deserves some sort of remembrance. She refuses to let either of us have anything of his, ever. She is sort of gatekeeping him, saying things like “He loved ME,” and just never mentioning us as a family, only him and her.

I get nervous that maybe doing this isn’t right, as if she ever found out I have no idea what could happen. But he was me and my sisters family too, and I think we should be able to have a little piece of him to remember. She won’t even let me take pictures of him. ######

Response:
 NTA

This is a hard one, but seriously, what your mom is doing is wrong.

I wouldn't even worry about "what if she were to find out.". If you do manage to get some of your father's ashes, so what if she finds out?  It's not like she can ruin her relationship with you and your sister any more than she has already done. ######


Prompt:
I am (22F), he is (23) and we’ve been dating for 6 months. Quite a short story.

I’m a university student and work part time. I earn a decent amount but it’s not a shit ton so I don’t exactly have thousands in savings but I’m trying to save as much as I can just for my future. I don’t even tell my mother what I save because quite frankly it’s not a lot and that’s insanely personal info.

Idk how it came up but my boyfriend has been talking a lot about savings and has started demanding to know how much I have. I told him that it’s really none of his business as it’s my money and that you can’t just ask people how much money they have.

Well, I’ve pissed him off. He has called me a bitch and says that I don’t trust him and he’s rethinking our future. Idk if I am an AH and should just apologise.

Edit; idk if it’s relevant but I’ve mentioned some of his recent behaviour in comments. He has started telling me who I can and can’t hang out with, he accused me of cheating when I went to see my brother for the first tine in months due to him having health issues. He is also messaging me a lot and he’s taking up a lot of my time. He is getting insanely protective over me and doesn’t even like it when I try to do my own thing.

Edit 2: Um okay he’s turned up at my dads house ranting and raving calling me a bitch and a whore and he appears to be armed with something. I think a lot of you are right. My dad isn’t home right now and I’m really scared.

Edit 3: my dad came home thank god and we’re waiting for the police to come

Edit 4; the police have just come and he’s been arrested!

Edit 5; I now realise I was being abused thanks to you all and mostly my dad who is currently having a long talk to me about my relationship and how I wasn’t to blame for anything ######

Response:
 NTA

This dude is a giant, man-shaped red flag. You don't live together, you've not been dating long, and you're not saving for anything that involves him. This isn't his business and he knows it. His BS gaslighty response should tell you all you need to know about what life with him will be like. ######


Prompt:
Thanks to the quarantine my boyfriend is now working his consulting job from home full time. I am currently completing my teaching degree which  consisted of me being placed in a classroom with high schoolers for 20hrs/week and also working a part time job 20hrs/week. Now, with schools being shut down all of my classes have been moved online. I am still working my “essential” job 20hrs per week out of the house but otherwise I am home with him while he’s working.

Our apartment is only ~650 sq ft. Which means his desk is in the middle of our kitchen/living room area. He is on conference calls every morning usually ranging from 1 hour to 2 hours. Sometimes more, sometimes less.

During these meetings he says running our kitchen sink or using the maker coffee is too loud and I should be prohibited from doing them...

He says that if he’s talking during the meeting that the mic picks up the noises and is too distracting. On the other hand, if he is just listening to the meeting through his headphones with a muted mic, he says the sink is too loud and he can’t hear what his colleagues are saying.

He thinks it is disrespectful of me to make noise during his conference calls when he has asked me several times not to do so. I think it is disrespectful for him to demand I not do normal daily activities in my own home.

Also, when he is working (in a meeting or not) I never watch tv, listen to music, or talk but I will do things like make food, or coffee, or run the damn sink. His coworkers have commented that he must not have children, because his calls are so quiet.. so I feel like I’m okay to do these things as long as it isn’t excessive. He thinks I shouldn’t do them period.

So reddit, AITA for making noise while my boyfriend is in conference calls for work? ######

Response:
 NTA

This doesn't make any sense, does he work in a noise-proof office at work??  I doubt his coworkers are completely silent all the time.

> On the other hand, if he is just listening to the meeting through his headphones with a muted mic, he says the sink is too loud and he can’t hear what his colleagues are saying.

Then he needs to turn the volume up or get better headphones.  It's unreasonable to expect people to be 100% quiet for hours on end in their own home. ######


Prompt:
So a little back ground. My BIL and SIL son (16m) lives with me and has since February. I have temporary legal guardianship of him. My food stamps recently came up for renewal and I added him on yesterday (4/27) I messaged them today to let them know and they lost their shit on me. They have been claiming him for cash aid and food stamps even though he no longer lives with them. I have 2 children of my own who I also take care and provide for. They are demanding I take him off the application so they can get more money (they don’t have jobs) so they can move out of my father in law’s apartment.

1) I can’t do that. It was an online app and it can not be deleted
2) I have never lied on my application and refuse to do so. I will not be one of those assholes who abuses the system.

Because I have done this the state will now find out they have been lying for 3 months and do a investigation and find that they also weren’t claiming the money their son was making for 6 months (he had a job at the time) this is not the first time they have been caught lying to welfare.

Now I’m being called an asshole cuz I refuse to lie to the state so they can get more money. My head is spinning around this how thing. Help. ######

Response:
 NTA

They've been caught. They are going to have to wear it. They never suggested to you that you not include him and, from the sound of it, you're paying for everything for him. ######


Prompt: I have to sublet my apartment because I just bought a house. I close later in June & don’t want to overlap rent & mortgage so have been trying to get rid of it as quickly as possible. After posting on Craigslist, I got a few messages from people interested. One couple toured last week and told me that they’d get back to me within a few hours but that they were 99% sure they’d take it. 24 hours goes by and I hear nothing. Finally at 11pm the next day (Thursday) I get a response from the guy that they are interested but want to come sign the lease on Monday. Not ideal as they didn’t put down a deposit so I’m leery of “holding it” but I said ok great we can meet Monday. Sunday at 4pm I text and say “Hey hope you’re having a good weekend - just wanted to see what time works to meet tomorrow?” 6 hours later, he texts me “oh sorry I’m out of town so it will need to be Tuesday.” Annoyed but whatever, I say “ok well can we do 11am on Tuesday?” He replies “I’m not sure, I’ll have to let you know tomorrow whether that works for me”. So Monday night he calls and says “hey just wanted to let you know we still definitely want the place but can’t come until Wednesday”. I’m really fed up and let him know I’ve had other interest and that they need to sign. He is like “ok we’ll try really hard to come tomorrow but Wednesday at the latest”. Meanwhile, another woman and her husband who toured over the weekend text me this morning that they’re interested and want to sign today. So I agreed they can have the apartment if they come today and sign before these other guys can come Wednesday since I still haven’t gotten a solid time nailed down. It’s been a week and they’ve dragged their feet without putting down a deposit or anything so I feel justified even though I verbally told them they could have the apartment. Am I the asshole? ######

Response:
 NTA

They've already skipped on you multiple times, you don't have to be loyal to someone messing you around ######


Prompt:
I live in a shared house. When I'd buy groceries they would magically disapear or whenever I would cook my (older female) roomie would ask me to share.

Neither of us like cooking or doing dishes. I agreed to cook if she would wash the
 dishes. She never washed the dishes.

So I've been ordering doordash like 3x a week. My housemate sits in the living room watching tv 24-7. I have to go through the living room to get to the front door. Everytime I get food she asks what I ordered. (If I have left overs I share.)

Recently my aunt said I am rude for ordering food and not offering to buy the women some. (Honestly, it seems like my aunt is always trying to start petty fights with me.) Am I obligated to buy my housemate food?

AITA for not wanting to buy her food? ######

Response:
 NTA

They're your roommates, not your children. ######


Prompt:
To start with, I am not rich in the sense I have a mansion and luxury cars. But with the combined income of myself and my fiancé, we live comfortably. We don’t live extravagantly, we save a lot and are able to afford nice things like a few holidays a year. If we have an unexpected expense like our car breaks down, we can easily afford to fix it.

In contrast, most of my siblings are in low income jobs. My younger sister and her husband are on minimum wage jobs, to the point they don’t qualify to pay tax on their income (we’re in the UK). My older sister and brother are better off but not by much. If they had an unexpected expense, it would be difficult for them to pay straight away. In theory we could survive on one salary if myself or my fiancé stopped working, this is definitely not the case for my siblings. But no one is hand to mouth, or super poor.

whenever I have any problems, they always dismiss it because “i can afford it”. For example, my work is cutting salaries in response to the coronavirus (we could take a voluntary paycut but it was implied if we didn’t, whole jobs would be cut). Obviously no one wants to be in this position, but their response was “you can afford to not work” or “it would be so much worse if it was happening to me”. Which, ok, that’s true but that’s not what is happening here. We need to get the rendering on our house re-done, I was asking for their opinion on what my options were, and it’s always “it doesn’t matter, you can afford it”. And I’m supposed to get married later this year but who knows if that’ll happen, and they just brush me off that I can afford to get married later.

Am I being insensitive? I don’t want to come across as a brat... but it’s hard when I want to talk about a problem I’m having and all I get in response is basically, shut up you’re too privileged to have problems. And I also don’t think having money is a solution to everything. But then that’s very easy for someone with money to say. ######

Response:
 NTA

They're acting kind of bratty towards you, do you think there could be some jealousy? Siblings have a tendency to have one designated sibling to collectively hate on.

Money solves a ton of problems, and can at least help with almost all of them. However, making good money doesn't make you immune to life's troubles. What happens if you lose a chunk of income, and your husband loses his job?

Sorry your siblings are dismissing you for doing good in life. Don't feel bad for earning money. ######


Prompt:
 My brother and his wife are having a hard time with paying their rent right now, so they asked if they can stay with us for awhile.

After talking it over with my husband we agreed that they could move into our RV and we could hook up the water and electricity from our house. It’s not a huge RV, but it’s got one full size bed and two twin size beds that their kids can sleep on.

My sil is very insulted by the idea of living out in our driveway when we have “plenty” of space inside. My brother was also upset because family would let family stay with them. He also doesn’t like that he would be the one responsible for taking the RV to the nearby rest stop area to drain the black tank.

They both said they would much rather prefer to stay in our living room or that we could put our kids and one of their sons in our sons room and they can share our daughters room with their younger son. Or maybe have some of the kids camp out in the living room.

None of those options appeal to us. With everything how it is and us all being stuck at home my husband, our kids, and I have gotten on each other’s nerves more than a few times. We feel like taking away our kids private spaces would be really disastrous.

As for the living room my husband and I are both working from home, so we need our own separate areas to focus. My husbands job works with other branches in other countries so he’s often working really late at night or really early in the morning in the living room. So having people sleeping in there wouldn’t work out well.

If they were just staying for a few days we probably could make due with them staying in the living room, but they will likely need to stay with us for weeks, if not months. ######

Response:
 NTA

They'd be imposing greatly, you know it, they know it. Their idea of moving everybody's rooms around, having everybody living on top of each other, and taking away your whole family's sense of privacy isn't a realistic solution.

It sounds like you do NOT have the space for them, so the RV would be much better. If that doesn't appeal to them, due to pride or laziness, that's their problem.

They sound like r/choosingbeggars ######


Prompt:
Sup peeps, hope all of you are doing amazing,

Alright well, few years ago my parents were abusive asf. During high school we had this “ag science “ type of science and one of the requirements of the class was raising some type of farm animal. One of said options was a bunny so I’m like “hey bunnies are cute asf” so I went for the bunny. My parents had always hated animals so, then being them, they let my rabbits outside in 105 degree weather in Cali. (In a tiny 1x3foot cage for 2 fully grown rabbits) they started showing symptoms of having heat strokes but again, they wouldn’t let me bring them in or even touch them. Male bunny eventually died that summer from a heat stroke.

Once I moved out I took my bunny with me and got a dog as well.

Well, parents came to visit etc. they started complaining about just having my pets IN the house “that’s disgusting” “how do you live like this?” I’m like “ they’re trained, clean and healthy.” Mom was like “but the hair.?!” “No that’s disgusting, put them outside”

Back when I lived with them they’re excuse for literally everything was, “my house my rules, the rabbit stays outside” “she’s literally panting hard asf....” “I don’t care, don’t bring that thing in here”

So now my house my rules too I guess and was like “you want them outside? Cool, get the fuck out” she’s like “what?” I’m like “I don’t fucking know how you could ever think I’d pick you over them, you don’t like them? They mean a thousand times more than you do, either live with it or get the fuck out”

Entirely logical in my opinion.

TL;DR: kicked parents out of MY house because they didn’t like them being inside the house ######

Response:
 NTA

They were wrong to essentially kill your rabbit

They were wrong to demand you put your pets out of your home ######


Prompt:
Me (F) and my husband (M) are planning on getting married this August (fingers crossed we dont have to reschedule) and even with the circumstances are still planning it. Recently, I picked my bridal party, and so I face-timed my maid of honour (who will be my cousin) and my bridesmaids (2 close friends). I was originally hoping to include 2 of my other very close friends in the bridal party, but have since decided to exclude them.

The reason for this is they hate each other. They have never really been friends, and since weve been in high school (10 years ago!) they have not gotten along. They constantly talk bad about each other and can barely even be in the same room without getting in a screaming match.

Of course, I still want them to be at my wedding, as they are 2 of my closest friends. However, I decided not to include them in the bridal party because it calls for working so closely together and constantly being with each other. We have to go gown shopping, bridesmaid dress shopping, have my bachelorette party, actually be in the same room for hours on the day of my wedding, etc.

When I told them my reasoning they were understandably upset and they told me they would be able to keep it together. I want to trust them, but they have promised be before to keep it together (on birthdays) and have never been able to, I even have to have individual birthday lunches and dinners with them now instead of a party. I really think theyll fight at my wedding and although its selfish i just feel its better if they arent in the party altogether rather than just picking one. They have even now said they dont want to come to the wedding.

Some friends agree with my decision, however a couple of my others dont, and one of my friends in the bridal party and my mom have told me I am being dramatic. I really dont want to hurt their feelings but I will also be super embarrassed and upset if they fight all the time we do wedding activities.

Edit: Clarity ######

Response:
 NTA

They need to grow the fuck up.

It’s their behavior that put you in the position of having to exclude them.

That being said — you’re moving into a new stage of life that requires even more maturity. Don’t feel guilty if they just get left behind overall. ######


Prompt:
My mom and sister have had plans to do stuff this weekend out of town for a while but did not tell me till yesterday. This is fine, they are adults, but they also told me that I would need to watch my twelve and thirteen year old nieces til Monday. I do not get along with my nieces, they feel that they don't need to listen to anyone, not even their mother. I don't need the drama of these girls as I am just starting new meds for my anxiety and bipolar and don't know how they will effect my temperment yet. My mom and sister were not happy that I had told them I would not be watching the girls.

AITAH for not being willing to watch my nieces for the weekend? ######

Response:
 NTA

They just want to dump two kids on you for a weekend? Yeah, no. ######


Prompt:
So as a kid I (22f) was “the black sheep” aka I was the emo that everyone in the family made an effort to avoid and that carried on into my adult life (to a lesser extent) but I still wasn’t invited to things like weddings and family gatherings (I was however invited to go out clubbing).
Two years ago I’d invited all my immediate family, my parents siblings and their kids and my grandparents over for Christmas dinner or after drinks if they had other plans for dinner, everyone agreed that they would come over and would let me know when they’re on their way, cut to 9pm and I hadn’t heard from anyone but my younger cousin who sent me screenshots of everyone in a whatsapp group agreeing that there was no way they were coming over to my “dungeon” to sit and listen to “w*ist sl*shing” music” while eating “lettuce” (we’re a vegan household) so I thought ok cool you’ve all made your choices, I don’t NEED any of you and I won’t be missed so that’s the end of that.

Cut to last summer when I married my husband (27) I didn’t bother inviting any family but my cousin (and my dads sister as she’s always been the mother figure in my life) as we’d always been chill but I told her I understood if she didn’t want to come as I didn’t want to cause tension between her and the goblins so she FaceTimed me for the ceremony.

Now three weeks ago my family found out I had gotten married, I guess they went to the group chat and realised none of them had been invited so my uncle messaged me “so after everything we’ve done for you you couldn’t even let us know you were getting married” and then carried on calling me a selfish bitch and such, not inviting them was the right choice so I know I’m not the arsehole there but my cousin seems to think I’m the arsehole due to my reply of “stay mad hoes, I wanted the happiest day of my life to be filled with love, love NONE OF YOU have ever shown me. Don’t contact me again” as she believes him messaging me was an attempt to “reconnect” AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA

They get all upset about it but didn't invite you to things when you were younger? They are hypocrites don't let them get to you. ######