Prompt:
Hi everybody,

I live in Germany (so please excuse my grammer and vocab) and here it is forbidden by the law to purchase, use or be in posession of fireworks from the 01.05 to the 28.12 of the year.

Across the street there is an american family living, and on July the 4th they decided to shoot some fireworks. Since it is summer, darkness doesnt fall till around 22:00 (11pm). Around that time my neighborus started shooting of fireworks. I dont mind them having their celebration, but after 45 minutes of ongoing firework (around 1 rocket/minute) i called the police on them. In Germany we have a law which regulates the "Nachtruhe" (Nightrest-time). It states that after 22:00 (10pm) you are not allowed to listen to loud music/tv.

I myself sleep from 10 pm to 6am every day. So i was disturbed in my "Nachtruhe" and woken up by my fellow american neighbours. At first i did not thought anything of it, but since i was unable to sleep and neither did they tell us about them planning to be loud past 22:00 at all. nor did they tell us till when they are going to shoot of fireworks i called the police after 45 minutes (I hoenestly wouldnt care if they were loud for 10 minutes and than got inside, but it is a dick move to make noise for >45 minutes).

I dont know any of them personally/dont have their phonenumber and didnt want to get dressed just to get over to their house to talk to them. Tbh i didnt want to talk to them at all, because it is just an a-hole move to be that loud at that time on a regular german day.

They now have to pay a fine for being too loud and for the illegal posession and usage of fireworks which is around 300€. (By German Standards this is a really really cheap fine, it could have easily been 10.000€).

&#x200B;

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. As an American (who has lived in Germany), I think it’s ridiculous that your neighbors would think that’s ok. There are so many other ways to celebrate the 4th of July that don’t involve breaking laws and annoying an entire neighborhood. Good for you for reporting them, hopefully they learned a lesson. ######


Prompt:
My dad and I aren't especially close. I was mostly raised by my mom, and I don't really see or talk to him too often. A large part of that was due to his ex-wife/my ex-stepmother. She was an awful, abusive person and she drove a wedge between me and my father. Thankfully, they divorced last year. My father and I were slowly beginning to repair our relationship.

Recently, my father began dating someone new. I'd heard about her from family members, but he never directly told me about her. Let me say now that I have no qualms about my father dating. This isn't that kind of story. Who he dates is strictly his business.

Not too long ago, my father invited me to his house. After the experience I had with my ex-stepmother, I wasn't really keen on meeting his girlfriend yet, so I asked if anyone else would be coming over while I was there. He told me no.

When I got there--surprise! Turns out his girlfriend was *already* there. So, no, technically, no one would be coming over. Now, his girlfriend seemed like a lovely woman. While I was there, I tried my best to act cordially towards her, but I was extremely uncomfortable.

Later, I told my dad that I was happy that he'd found such a nice woman, and that she seemed like a pleasant person. However, I have no intention of meeting her ever again. Who he dates is his business, and I have no relation to her. After my ex-stepmother, I do not want to have any contact with anyone he dates.

He told me that I needed to let go of the past, and that I was being narrow-minded. I admit that this is perhaps a bit unfair to his new girlfriend, but I really don't want to involve myself in his dating affairs. AITA for telling him that I didn't want to meet her again? ######

Response: NTA. As an adult (I'm assuming you're an adult cuz I don't see mention of your age) you get to decide who you want/don't want in your life. You shouldn't be forced to talk to/ interact with anyone due to "family obligation". ######


Prompt:
I (M) have 3 kids with my ex wife. My daughter (17F), who is the second oldest, is turning 18 in November. 18 is a significant milestone, so I think that when your kid turns 18 you should get them a major gift. When my son (21M) turned 18, I got him a motorcycle.

So with all this happening, I thought it would be nice to ask my daughter what she wants now so I have plenty of time for it. She and my younger son are staying with my ex-wife for the time being, so I called her to talk about it. She said that she wants full body laser hair removal. She told me the estimated price and it was less than what I paid for my son's motorcycle a few years ago so I agreed and said I would cover it.

Later that night I get an angry call from my ex-wife. She overheard everything and didn't like it. She was saying that I shouldn't be encouraging my daughter to be "vain" or "narcissistic" and that she thought cosmetic surgery was a scam that "preys on women's insecurities". I responded that our daughter will be an adult at this point and that even then, she was being unreasonable. I explained that even if she didn't personally like it, it would make our daughter happy and that's what matters here. She wasn't swayed and said that I was being inconsiderate to her by going ahead with it.

To be honest, I'm not entirely surprised she reacted like that. My daughter has always been very girly and put a lot of effort into her appearance. My ex-wife has always bot liked this and would try and encourage her to focus less on how she looks. Personally I've never had an issue with her and I just want her to do what makes her feel good, just like my sons with their different interests.

I've already put the money aside for it and I've called my daughter again promising I'll cover it despite her mom's objections, so I'm not changing my mind. But I'm interested in getting some outside perspective. ######

Response: NTA. As a woman, if I could afford laser hair removal I would 100% do it. Shaving constantly is the worst, and it can cause irritation of the skin. If that’s what she wants, who care what your ex thinks? It’s not like you’re suggesting it to your daughter. ######


Prompt:
This whole argument is really weird to me. Basically, I'm on my period and my boyfriend said offhand he was glad he didn't have to deal with that and said something along the lines of, "I bet you wish you had a dick." To which I responded, "no, not really."

He seemed kind of taken aback by that and pressed the issue of exactly why I did not want to have a dick and I basically told him male genitals seemed really uncomfortable and awkward to possess, like I don't want some meat and a nut sack just chillin in my britches. Hard pass. He got weirdly offended by this and said I was being sexist??? I told him that I observe him scratching his nuts or rearranging his junk multiple times a day and that it would make me crazy if I had to constantly attend to my genitals like that. He got so mad about this to the point he stormed off to let me "think about" why what I said was so upsetting.

I don't get it though? Not 5 minutes earlier he was trashing vaginas and periods, but that's okay, for reasons? Y'all help me out lmao ######

Response:
 NTA. As a penis owner they can be very awkward at times. And let’s be clear, you were not being sexist. Seems more so that he was.

Sounds like he’s looking for an argument and will take any excuse to get it. ######


Prompt:
I have a ten year old dog named Max. I’ve had him since he was a puppy and ever since I got him I’ve called him ‘baby’ when I talk to him. For example when I get home from work I greet him by saying “Where’s my baby?” or if he’s just been from the groomers I tell him “Look at this cute baby” and stuff like that.

Just to make it clear, it’s a term of endearment that I use when talking to him. But I don’t think that Max is equivalent to a human baby and I never thought that I was a mom just because I have him for a pet. When I tell other people about him I say “Max is a shih tzu” or “Max eats potatoes”.

Now I have a one year old daughter, Mia. I never call her ‘baby’ when I talk to her, I usually just use her name. I say “It’s time to eat, Mia” or I tell my husband “Can you get Mia’s shoes?” and not “It’s time to eat, baby” or “Can you get my baby’s shoes”. When other people ask me questions like “How is your baby?” I know that they’re referring to Mia so I tell them “Mia’s doing great”.

At a get together at our house my SIL caught me telling Max “No, baby you can’t eat that” and was horrified that I call my dog ‘baby’, saying it might confuse my actual baby. When I told her that I always call Mia by her name she got upset and said that I am basically telling Mia that I consider Max to be my child more than her and I should think about my parenting before I traumatize her.

As far as I’m concerned I’m not neglecting Mia, I’m taking care of her well and it seems over the top to jump to the conclusion that I will scar her for life just because I don’t call her ‘baby’ and I use that term to refer to Max when talking to him instead. But I know I might be biased because I do love my dog to bits.

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA. As a mother of 4, I can tell you, none of them care what I called them as babies, they're just happy if I get the right name on the right child the first time and don't have to resort to "D-Mi-T ... WHOEVER!" ######


Prompt:
Ever since I was little, I’ve loved rainbows. The basic red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet type. My wardrobe when I was little was extremely colorful.

Today, I still love rainbows and love to incorporate that into my home decor and outfits. I’m cis and straight, so my rainbows aren’t connected to LGBTQ, though I do support them.

While out shopping with a few friends, a new girl in the group mentions how brave I am for wearing rainbow in public when it isn’t even pride month. My sweatshirt had rainbow stripes. I informed her I was straight, and she seemed to be fine with it. Later however, I receive a text from her telling me I shouldn’t be wearing rainbows if I’m not apart of LGBTQ. She said it would leave people to believe I like women, and in doing so lead them on. I’ve thought about it, and can’t decide if I should stop or not. ######

Response: NTA. As a lesbian I don't automatically assume everyone wearing a rainbow is lgbtq+. There are homophobic people though that could target you for wearing a rainbow, so you might want to consider when and where to wear rainbows. That of course depends a lot on where you live. ######


Prompt:
My(30M) brother(20M) and our parents always had a horrible relationship. Parents are conservative christians, brother is gay, you get the picture. I didn’t really have a close relationship with him either since I was in university in another country already when he was 10.

The day he turned 18 he packed his stuff and left without saying a word to them. I talk to him occasionally, but he hasn’t talked to our parents in 2 years.

I’m home now and yesterday was his birthday. Our parents remember it and they started saying that what he did was incredibly wrong, disrespectful, he didn’t love them etc etc. I genuinely asked if they really thought he’d love and respect them after years of them treating him like shit and said that it’s their fault that they don’t have a relationship now. They got mad,Dad blew up, he started yelling and saying that I was talking bullshit and I was being disrespectful too, taking his side. ######

Response:
 NTA. As a Dad I get really sad when I see posts like this. How can you ever love your own son less for something that is out of his control? I could never ever imagine not loving my son with everything inside me.

More parents need to also realise that children are under no obligation to love their parents unconditionally. You need to earn that love.

I hope your brother is ok. ######


Prompt: This happened today and I feel like it was justified. So I’m standing in line at the supermarket, and this bigger guy is behind me. There’s a really long line, and I was up next to put the groceries down after about 10 minutes of waiting. The entire time I’m waiting, I hear him complaining about how long the line is and how everything is taking so long. Once the guy in front of me gets done and there’s room to put up my groceries, I finally get ahead to put my stuff down. I’m trying to do it quickly so this guy can finally have enough room to put his stuff on conveyer belt. I dropped a few things on the ground as I was doing this, and I hear him say pretty loudly, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” I gave him the death stare, pointed at him and said; “I’m trying to do this shit quickly to get out of here so I don’t have to listen to your fat fucking mouth complain every 36 seconds.” He looked stunned, and didn’t say a thing after that. The cashier chuckled a bit after I said that, and I finally got out of there. Listening to that guy complain the entire time I was there was driving me nuts, and his comment lit the match for me. Was this justified, or AITA? ######

Response: NTA. As a cashier, having someone tell off an annoying customer in front of me makes my day! ######


Prompt: I am a pretty good artist and my classmates know it. They have no problem paying for my art except for one girl. She is the teachers' pet and the one that always reminds everyone of their mistakes. One day, she came to me asking if I could draw a horse for her. I told her that it'll be 2 KČ, which is the price of two croissants in the Czech Republic. (It's about 0,085 USD) And she said that it's too expensive and that we are friends (we are not) and that I drew free drawings for my friend and that it can't be THAT hard to draw. I told her if it's not that hard, she can draw it herself and that I drew it free for my friend because her dog died. She screamed at me calling me many names. AITA for wanting the price of two croissants for hours of hard work? ######

Response: NTA. Art isn't free and your price is very cheap. ######


Prompt: I really like to draw and my mom supports me on that. Recently she got me a new sketch book when she went out, I've had the book for 1 month or so then a couple days ago she told me that she looked through the book, I was visibly upset ( I've told people before that i do not like it when they look through my sketch book without  my approval) I told her in the nicest way possible that was my book and it's not hers to just flip through whenever she wants.  Then she starts  yelling at me telling me that she bought it and she could look through it whenever she wanted. I try to defend myself telling her that I would decide if I wanted anyone to see it but she kept cutting me off. I was pretty pissed and left. I feel like I might be the asshole because shes my mom and she encouraged me to draw when my family wouldn't accept it as a career choice. I know this is not as dramatic as other posts but please I want to know AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Art is very personal for people and you have every right to not want your sketchbook randomly flipped through. Your mom bought the book FOR YOU as in it was a gift, legally she has no right to the book as it was gifted to you. A common fallacy in parents is thinking buying something for their kids= it belongs to them, the parent, which is simply not true.
Keep doing you, don’t compromise on the integrity of your privacy because you have the right to it just as much as anybody else. ######


Prompt:
I (23f) live with my bf (25m) in an okay house. We’ve been together for 4 years and own 2 cats.

Our cats like to jump into the window in the middle of the night and how they do that is by grabbing the curtain and pulling themselves up, causing the curtain to fall down. One of us usually fixes it, no problem.

Well this morning, I woke up to the curtain on the floor and my bf at his desk. My bf has a routine of getting up and immediately going to his desk to work on art commissions. If I bother him while he’s in the zone, he gets pretty mad. But also during that time, he doesn’t make breakfast for himself and usually waits till I get up to ask me to make it. This morning wasn’t any different.

The thing was that I was naked under the covers and the window uncovered is the one that faces our neighbors yard. Even if it was empty, there’s still a chance of them or their kids coming out of the house at the wrong moment and seeing my bits.

I asked my bf to close the curtain so I could go make him breakfast, but he told me no and to do it myself since the window is closer to me. I told him I was naked and didn’t feel comfortable doing it, and repeated the question.

He got up from his chair angry, cursing at me and telling me I was pulling “a fucking power move” on him and he kept saying it while putting the curtain up. It hurt my feelings pretty bad. I changed into my clothes and made breakfast right after.

He refuses to apologize to me still cause he feels like I was in the wrong since the window is closer to me, but I see it as me asking a simple task that takes seconds to do. AITA? Was I pulling a power move? ######

Response: NTA. Are you sure this is the guy for you? He's got some anger management issues and treats you like a servant. He waits until you get up so you can make him breakfast every day and thinks that you asking him to do ONE really easy, really reasonable thing for you is a "power move"?  Sounds misogynistic. This is about more than shutting the window, think hard about it... ######


Prompt:
Hello! Longtime listener, first time caller.

I (29m) work a property management job that I hate. I have to evict people and we’re in the midst of a pandemic. It’s really soul destroying.

I got a message from an old friend that offered me a job once he purchased a new business to oversee two similar stores and run them how I see fit. This would still be considered a small business and, as previously referenced, we are in the middle of hard times. I wanted to make sure that I had some concrete evidence that this was a secure move before I brought it to my fiancé’s (29f) attention, so I asked do profit and loss reports to ascertain if this was a good idea.

Turns out the second store net $100k last year in a pretty small town and their sales etc. are doing well this year, in spite of the chaos. At this point I felt comfortable enough to at least put it on my fiancé’s radar. My best friend, my fiancé and I went to a nice dinner last night and I brought it up. She was PISSED. She said that if something like that happened to her, she’d have “called me same day on her lunch break, this just makes her feel like I keep stuff from her” and all this stuff.

We have a pretty rigid schedule with our budget as we are trying to buy our first home by the end of next year. This job change would further advance those goals, but knowing how she is about details and thorough questions, I elected to wait until I had enough info to give her and she was not pleased.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Are you saying “detail orientated” because you don’t want to say “control freak”?  Either way, I think gathering information and being equipped with knowledge is a good thing and for what it’s worth, I think you went about things in a practical well thought out way ######


Prompt:
I (21F) live with my boyfriend (24M) he eats alot and all the time he is snacking on something, but recently I've drawn a line. He has started eating food in bed, like chips and candy. It's gotten so bad he will fall asleep while eating. Last night I rolled over to a smushed candy bar that fell out of his hand and got chocolate all over our sheets. He always apologizes and says this is the last thing he will eat but he always gets more. Tonight I got mad when he had chocolate again and he told me it's ok he is awake and it's all he will have tonight. Not even 10min later he gets up to use the bathroom and brings back a honey bun I just roll over at this point and try to sleep but the smell of food is keeping me awake. He finally fell asleep and as soon as I started to doze off he woke up (not even 30min later) and went to grab some chips. I smelled them as soon as he opened them and I called him out of continually eating in bed and making a mess he got defensive saying he is sitting up and not making a mess and I told him if he wants to eat we have a perfectly good living room and kitchen and I'm tired of our bed room smelling like the food he brings up in the night. He told me I was exaggerating and finally I got up to sleep on the couch. He is now mad saying I'm making a big deal out of this and that if it's so important he will stop. But I've mentioned this so many times that it bothers me and he hasn't stopped.

Am I the asshole for telling my boyfriend I hate him eating in bed then going to sleep on the couch when he doesn't stop ######

Response:
 NTA. Are you aware you’re in a relationship with Homer Simpson.

Also- he falls asleep snacking? Frequently? Does he ever brush his teeth? Seems like really gross behavior and poor hygiene. ######


Prompt:
The wife has a strong passion for cooking. She cooks every night, with the exception of Friday where we go out to eat (or order in right now because of the current situation)

We have two daughters, who are 13 and 17. Usually as a family we clear the table, put the dishes in the sink, put leftovers in the Tubberware, and wipe down any spills or messes. The girls tend to make a mess at dinner so it teaches them responsibility, and me and my wife can’t do it all by ourselves.

Last night, wifey made lasagna with garlic bread and some Italian salad. She rarely cooks lasagna since it is a mess to clean up. Anyways we finish dinner, and the girls disappear out of nowhere and head to their rooms, which left me and the wife to clean up everything.

My wife was particularly upset because she had spent to much time cooking (she could have made one of those Stouffer’s frozen lasagnas and a bagged salad kit) and was tired and had to do twice the work we would usually do.

So tonight we decided to put our daughters to work and cook dinner for everyone. We printed out instructions for them, my 17 year old was handling the stovetop and the 13 year old handled the oven. They had no help whatsoever (except for small tips here and there)

As we were eating, they seemed cold and didn’t want to talk to us. The 13 year old thinks we overreacted and “her friends never have to help clean the table” We were originally planning to make the girls clean the table by themselves but felt bad and cleaned it as a family.

I honestly feel bad now, maybe we should have just made them clear the table by themselves instead of having them cook, put my wife thinks I was fair since the girls now know how much effort their mom puts into cooking and how tedious it is. ######

Response: NTA. Ar those ages, they should be helping out! ######


Prompt:
On the last day before lock down I called in to work because I needed to get my nan an ambulance. She could only maintain consciousness for 10-15 seconds at a time. I've lived with her for 3 years and became her carer when she was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis.
My nan tested negative for the virus twice so we realised that it was a rapid decline in her health. She went into hospice care and was put on end of life.
My boss had sent me a few emails, I replied to all of them cordially, and asked him to mark any important emails as such as my nan is dying.
My nan died on 7th April this year and on the 8th, I announced it online because I have people who always had my nan's presence in their life and I said that I would be leaving social media to sort out the funeral, the estate and the likes.
I got tagged in 8 posts, 1 per day for 6 days and 2 on the last day from managers asking me to put on my uniform and hold up a sign and shout happy birthday to my boss. I saw the original post and I thought, I don't really have time and I'm not in the right mindset to do this.
One of my managers kept tagging me in posts saying "come on, you've only got a few days to send your video in. It can't be that hard." And "it'll only take 5 minutes." But they posted saying that we needed to have on clean and ironed uniform. For a 10 second video.
I'm looking to be promoted and I'm trying to make a good impression with everyone at work and I think by not doing it, I've made people feel like I'm not bothered about the team. My closest friends at work think it's perfectly understandable but management seem to have a different opinion. I just couldn't bring myself to pretend like it's business as usual when my nan's ashes are sat in my living room. ######

Response: NTA. Anyone with the slightest amount of empathy can understand you are not in the frame of mind to be partaking in such frivolous shite. ######


Prompt:
Growing up, my sister had never been supportive of me. We were never very close. I ended moving out very early because we got into a yelling match about her not picking me up from the airport because she got drunk.

A year ago, I moved to a different state for a job and broke up with my then bf. When she came down to help me move, she told me I was a bitch for not letting my ex move in with me because he "loved me". When she went back home, I learned through said ex that she had invited him to dinner and he was going to go. I texted her and told her I was really disappointed that she did that and as my sister she should be supporting my decision to leave a toxic relationship. She then told me I was a disrespect brat and she couldn't believe how entitled I was and that she was disgusted I would even say something like that to her. She then called me a stuck up bitch for shoving it in her face that I'm more successful than she is... When all I did was tell her I felt disrespected.

I decided to cut ties with her and deleted her off social media. When I come visit, I steer clear of her as much as I can. But when I tell people I don't talk to her, they all tell me I'm a brat and need to keep her in my life and forgive everything she does BECAUSE she's my sister... So AITA for cutting ties with her? ######

Response: NTA. Anyone that tells you that you need to keep someone in your life because they are family is toxic as hell in their own right. Your sister sounds like a grade A bitch and you were right to get rid of her. ######


Prompt:
My parents and I have been having an argument. My parents sat me down and asked me about my grades. I told them all the ones that I know. Some of my teachers don't post the grades to Google Classroom so I don't know what some of them are. I have 4 confirmed a's (3 are above 95%) and 3 b's. I'm in 8th grade. Right now I get 2 30 minute sections of game time per day after I do school, homework, and the extra 1hr of math that my mom tells me to do. Our school has a placement test for high school that helps the teachers decide what math class to put us in. I ***chose*** to be put into the 'lower' (i don't know a better word) math class. I've been not doing as good as my parents want me to in math. This happened during the grade conversation. My parents after hearing that I chose to be put into that math class got very mad that I didn't want to go the the higher math.

About an hour after I told them the grades that I know and that I was going to the 'lower math', they told me to study more. I've been studying more, about 2-3 hours each day+studying during classes. They cut my video game time down to 1 30 minutes after they have checked to see if I've done all my homework. I got mad and asked them why, and my mom said, "We are done talking about this." After that I went and studied math for an extra hour to try to make them happy. They are still mad at me for having the grades that I have atm. I'm studying more, but they don't seem to see it.

AITA for getting mad in this argument enough that my parents had to shut me down?

sorry for rambling ######

Response: NTA. Anyone ever feel like these parents didn’t get those kinds of grades themselves? ######


Prompt:
##### First of all, I really don't want to offend or disrespect anyone with this question. English isn't my first language so really doing my best here.

###### Long story short:
I'm 25 years old, I was born in China and adopted by white Canadian parents when I was 7 months old. I've been living in a big city since then. My origins and my adoption have never tormented me, and to be honest, I sometimes forget that I am not Caucasian like most of my friends.

###### The situation:
People often make comments related to my origins. When the comments are disrespectful, I will react. But most of the times, I have the impression that there is no bad intention, just a lack of education. 3 very common examples:

> Clients that I've exchanged many emails with (they know my very "Canadian" name) and talked over the phone who see me physically for the first time will say "ah I didn't expect that" (refering to my looks vs. my very non asian name).

Or
> People who end up saying "it's impressive you don't have an accent" (wondering why I don't have a Mandarin accent).
&nbsp;

Or
> Other random example just so you understand how insignificant it often is: this weekend at the grocery store, a lady stopped me and asked me which was the best ramen noodles brand while I was walking in the "asian products' aisle.

I am always surprised when I get these types of comments (1-2 x a month), but my first reaction is to feel sorry for people saying that, thinking it's sad they did not get the education I had a chance to have, and that they've never been exposed to diversity and they must be stuck in a very sad world.

###### AITA for not answering these types of comments?
Should I be more offended and say something? Does my lack of intervention makes me part of the whole racism problem? ######

Response:
 NTA. And you sound like the most awesome person ever.

In a way, I can relate. I have a daughter with Down Syndrome. She gets lots of stares, and more than a few awkward comments. I can usually tell from body language and expression if someone is being cruel or just well-meaning clueless. ######


Prompt:
i’m 22 years old and in graduate school. my only i come is from part time stipend as a graduate assistant. i don’t have a car, and i’m currently saving towards that as well as dental and optometry work. in order to save, i severally cut down on my food/fun allowance. i live on a very strict budget and after a year of saving i finally half about $2000 saved up.

my dad asked me for money saying that he is in debt and people are on his neck. he doesn’t plan to return the money. for some reason he thinks i’m well off because i don’t complain about my hardships even though i’ve made several comments on my facebook and to him directly about how i desperately need a car because i’m in a small town with no transportation, i don’t live close to family and i have no way of getting around. i also have medical expenses that need to be covered.

he has these ways of guilt tripping me or making me seem selfish when i deny his request. and i know that the requests will never stop coming. for example my sister who is 26, has about 1000$ in savings because she’s constantly helping out. i’m still in grad school. all my mates have their parents paying for their car and healthcare, while i have to save tooth and nail to make it through and save for my needs.

am i an asshole for denying to help my dad, even though i have $2000 in savings but i desperately need that money for my expenses? i did offer him $50 and i wonder if that was disrespectful? ######

Response: NTA. And you might want to think about making a few complaints to your dad about your financial situation and hardships. If your dad is in debt with "people on his neck," it's not like he's in debt from buying too many groceries. He's got to deal with the consequences of his actions, and it's not up to you to bail him out. Don't feel guilty. Do not, under any circumstances, let your dad know that you have savings built up. Your financial situation isn't something you want to be discussing with your dad, as it doesn't sound like it's a safe topic. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have been together for more than 10 years. He is an alcoholic that has only recently admitted his problem and stopped drinking.

For years he would not acknowledge the problem. He went to rehab once, one state away. He came home early because he "didn't actually have a problem ". Years of him passing out, puking everywhere, hiding vodka around the house, lying about drinking lead to him spending the night in his car after I kicked him out.

About three months ago, he didn't come home from work. I called and texted and got no response. I grabbed the kids and drove to the store to get dinner, and happened to find him. Dear hubby was parked on the side of the road, car running, passed out in the driver's seat, with 4 bottles of open alcohol in the seat next to him. After waking him up and taking him home, I left to my parents house with the kids.

He started going to AA. He looked into getting a sponsor. He stopped drinking. He apologized. The kids and I moved back home. Coronavirus happened. AA is shut down. He came home from work today, and he smelled (slightly) of alcohol.

I told him he smelled like alcohol and asked why. He began yelling at me. He called me names, told me I was trying to control him. He called me fat, and told me he didn't live me. When I started to cry, he asked if he hurt my feelings and I said yes. He responded "Good. I want you to feel the way I do."

I don't know if ITA. On one hand he has lied to me about 10,000 about drinking, so my question may be justified. On the other hand, he has been doing great with not drinking during isolation. He made it sound like I broke his heart when I asked why he smelled like alcohol. He felt accused and distrusted . I feel terrible for causing him to feel that way, but at the same time, u feel like my question was justified given his history. AITA for not trusting him? ######

Response: NTA. And with a reaction like that, I think you were probably correct in your assumption that he was drinking again. He needs to have a conversation with his sponsor asap.  If you have the sponsors information, you might want to give him or her a call and ask them to get in touch with your husband and explain what happened. ######


Prompt:
(Reposted and edited due to previous issues)

Yesterday, while I (19F) was on a walk with my little brother (10M) and I told him that he has ADHD. My parents got him diagnosed last year and while they have been making efforts to help succeed in school, they get mad at him for exhibiting textbook symptoms of ADHD. I moved away for college last fall and haven't seen the full scope of things, but since I've moved back home, my parents have been yelling at my brother for not being able to finish tasks, calling him stupid, and grounding him for weeks over trivial issues. I talked to my brother about it and he's told me that while I'm away the yelling is more frequent. I decided that I would give him an explanation behind what was going on, mainly because I feel like he deserves to know, and it would explain things to him, rather that keep him thinking that "mom and dad hate me and I don't know why". I explained to him that having ADHD doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes your thinking process a bit different.

Fast forward to today,  and while I was out on a walk, my brother confided  to our parents about what  we talked about on our walk yesterday. My dad told me that I was selfish for telling him and undermining their parenting and yelled at me for half an hour, and my mom won't come out of her room to even talk to me. So AITA?

TLDR; I told my brother that he has ADHD after my parents have been mistreating him because of his symptoms. ######

Response: NTA. and when honestly your parents decided to BE parents they should’ve considered that their children aren’t going to be perfect ######


Prompt:
Im on mobile.

Me(F15)
Mom(F36)- “Mom”
Stepdad(M34)- SD

 So i’m visiting my mom this week (my dad has full custody and i just visit my mom sometimes) and it’s that time of the month. I’ll try not to go into too many details but basically yeah i dispose of everything the way it needs to be disposed so i didn’t think there would be a problem.

My mom came up to me last night and said i made my stepdad “uncomfortable” for “making him look at my feminine products”. i instantly got embarrassed and told her i’ve always made sure i disposed of everything properly. Then she says, “oh no, not the thing itself but the wrapper” Which confused because like, it’s a wrapper? I’m a 15 year old girl, sorry i have a period?

She asked if i could start throwing it away in the garage trash so he wouldn’t have to see it in the bathroom trash. we have 3 BATHROOMS. One in their room, one in the hall upstairs, and one in the hall downstairs, i always use the one downstairs because my room is in the basement. If he doesn’t want to see it he can use one of the two other bathrooms. I told her i wasn’t gonna stuff my trash in my pocket and walk to the garage just because he can’t handle looking at a wrapper. She claims i’m being ridiculous and stubborn and that he shouldn’t have to walk upstairs anytime he’s in the living room just because i won’t throw my trash in a different place. I told her he can get over it.

AITA?

TL;DR: my stepdad is apparently uncomfortable with my feminine product wrapper and refuses to use one of the other two bathrooms we have so my mom is forcing me to throw my trash in the garage. ######

Response: NTA. And we can all see there's a good reason your dad got full custody. ######


Prompt:
My wife (30F) just gave birth to our first baby boy. Her father, 70M, often says the n word and is just in generally not very accepting of the black community. He has gotten so much worse in the past week with all of the current events: throwing the n word around left and right and just being discriminatory. I guess that this is just the “old generation” but nonetheless that is completely a dealbreaker for me.

I have put up with family gatherings with him for our entire relationship. If it was my father I’d cut him off immediately but I can’t make that decision for her so I keep my peace. I have told him I don’t like the word respectfully but he just keeps doing it. I’m old enough to make to decisions, my child is just born and will absorb what is around him.

I told my wife I do not want him around our son unless he refuses to say the word. He says he will say whatever he wants because he’s 70 years old and my wife agrees and thinks I am being controlling. I think I have good morals and want what is best for my kid. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. And no, it’s not a generational thing. Lots of people from that generation know not to say it. 70s is not that old anymore. ######


Prompt:
Loaned niece $1000 for her wedding expenses a few years ago; my sister asked for the loan on her behalf because she was too proud/shy... but when I said yes niece thanked me profusely. Niece has never paid any of it back, but sister paid just over half of it for her until I said STOP because it's not her debt (my sister barely makes ends meet).
FFWD to now; no family get togethers lately due to COVID, so no bday gift (usually a card with around $100) for niece back in March. After recently dropping off a gift at sister's for another family member, niece tells her mother "Oh, well, Uncle didn't get me anything for my bday".
I admit that I still think about the money owed -not hurting for it, but just the principle of the thing and that I feel taken for granted ...miffed that not even an attempt has been made by her to pay ANY of it back. So I was thinking 'fuck it' and would skip her $ present this year (maybe she would subtly get why, perhaps?). I'm pretty annoyed that she would bring it up to her mother like that; she is 25 years old now! However, in the interest of not causing a rift with my sister (or possibly the rest of the family), I am debating giving her belated birthday $ at the next family function... thoughts? ######

Response:
 NtA. And no gift.

Make sure your niece knows why, though.

Are you positive she knows it was a loan and not a gift? Because if she knew then she should pay back the full $1000, with your sister being paid back as well. ######


Prompt: So I bought some of my moms favourite food for mother's day. We were eating together when my sister took the last peice of cake(which was meant for my mom) and I said don't eat that. She responded by stating that 'why do I care what she eats' and I proceed to tell her I paid for the food and it's meant for mom. She started ranting about how unfair it was and I'm not letting her eat in peace and stormed off . My mom also supported her stating that I should not have said anything and let her eat the cake (it was her favourite raspberry cheesecake). Aita? ######

Response:
 Nta. And it’s a typical mom
Respond of I won’t eat it so my children do. And your sis is an ass for not saving a piece for your mom when your the one that paid for it. Maybe next time just cut out a piece for your mom, put it in the fridge with your moms name. Out of site out of mind thing. ######


Prompt:
I work remotely (all the time, not just because of COVID-19). I make over two-thirds of our household income and am generally really busy during working hours. My husband is currently “working from home”, but his job is such that he doesn’t have to actually do anything. He’s been sleeping until noon, playing video games, smoking weed, and going out to do fun things with friends.

A lot of mornings I’ll be at my computer working and he will come in and want me to take a “sex break”. I don’t like doing this - I’m only a few months into my job and some of my responsibilities are time sensitive. I also struggle to enjoy sex when I know I should be doing something else so it would end up as me providing sex for him (which is not uncommon in our relationship, really). I usually tell him I’m working and then he will watch me and if I do so much as look at my phone while I’m waiting for something at work he will say something like “oh you’re soooo busy” and get grouchy.

I’m really, really annoyed by this and have told him that I can’t just fuck off from my job to have sex with him. I’ll offer to have sex later when I get off work, but by then he’s usually off fishing or high. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. And it really sounds like your husband should stop acting like a child. If he want's to have sex, he should wait until you're in the mood and not get high.

Edit: this honestly reads like any Seth Rogen movie :D Tell your husband to get his shit together. ######


Prompt:
My parents are both working and that leaves me in charge of my 3 younger brothers, its not that bad and my only responsibility is to basically make sure they don't burn down the house and make lunch and sometimes dinner. I was making this stew thing that was sitting in a crock pot close to all day. I made enough so that my parents could have some when they returned. I put the stew in a pot and put it on the dining table. My brother who is the oldest of the 3 is 11 and can dish them up cause I had to go back and finish my essay for school.

I finished the paper and when I was gonna go get a bowl cause I was hungry the older 2 were wrestling or something and accidentally knocked over the whole pot of stew. We have a dog so even if I could just eat the meat it had dog hair all over it. It was discouraging that all the work I put into it just for it to be knocked over cause they weren't aware of their surroundings. I think I maybe TA here: I said in a loud voice but I wasn't yelling "Are you 2 fucking serious? You guys are almost in middle school and still don't know your fucking  surroundings? Come on you both KNOW better, get out of the kitchen you'll just make it worse." They had a face that just said that they think I'm crazy for getting mad at them and that they don't feel bad.

I thought it was all done and I was in my room when my mom came home. I guess my youngest brother (9yo) didn't like me cussing and told my mom. She took away my phone for 3 days cause cussing at my little brothers is a big no-no and that I could have just cleaned it up without being mean to them. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. And if your mother is going to take away you for phone for cussing them out then don't look after them anymore. You were doing your parents a favour by babysitting your siblings, they disrespected you, and YOU are the one punished? It seems like this is all on their terms, not yours. If you are to be treated like a child, then you shouldn't be expected to be an adult and babysit them. ######


Prompt:
I know the title seems bad but bare with me.

Last February my grandad passed away, he lived with my grandma and my aunt and he used to be the person they both relied on heavily. After his passing my grandma kinda gave up in life and stopped eating, sleeping and such, it got so bad that she started having hallucinations where she saw “little girls asking for food”.

We decided to bring her to a doctor who diagnosed her with severe depression and a mild senile dementia and prescribed some medication for them.

My family for various cultural reasons think that either you are completely sane or you should be confined in a mental hospital, there is no inbetween.

Once back home after a couple of days I checked in with my aunt to see if the medication started working or if there was any side effects we should worry about and she told me not to worry. At the end of the week I checked again and to my surprise grandma was getting worse, I asked my aunt what happened and the told me they were not gonna give her the medication since grandma “was not mad” and “just needed family support”.

At this point I decided to go every morning and evening to eat with her and help out, I prepared breakfast and dinner for her and following the papers the doctor gave us I slipped the medication into her food.

After a week or week and a half we started to see some progress, less hallucinations, she started to eat and sleep more by her own will...

My family saying that thanks to the family support she got better and that medicine wasn’t at all needed and how this proved she was not “mad”. I got fed up with the bs and told everyone what I had done.

All hell broke loose and I was banned from grandma’s house and everyone stopped talking to me for being the one who said my grandma was “mad” (never said so, just said she needed help). AITA? ######

Response: NTA. And if they continue to deny her medications, you need to involve adult protective services to intervene. ######


Prompt:
I (22F) have a severely autistic brother who i intend to take care of for the rest of my life. I have very strict immigrant parents who have recently discovered that i have been dating a half-Australian, half-Vietnamese guy (22M) and my father (55M) has threatened to take my mother (51F) and brother away from me and move to another city if i don't break up with him.  At the end of the year regardless of my decision to stay or go my entire family will be moving to another city.

My father has always been very controlling, when it comes to who i'm friends with, where i go, what i study and what i wear. After 4 years he's finally agreed that i don't have to study medicine and that i'm allowed to study Radiography like i originally intended to before university.

My father has said that if i agree to do what he wants and move to Adelaide with the rest of the family then as long as i am 100% honest with him, so essentially he approves who i'm friends with, what degree i do and who i date he won't be as angry and won't be as controlling.

I don't believe that he'll change and think i'm just destined to be miserable for the rest of my life. However if i leave i'll never get to see my mother or brother again and i really don't want that, and also everyone is telling me that i would be selfish to leave because my parents raised me for 21 years and i would just be abandoning them.

So WIBTA?

TLDR:  Father doesn't like who i'm dating and is threatening to take my mum and brother away from me and never let me see them again if i don't dump my boyfriend and move to a new city with them. WIBTA if i leave? ######

Response: NTA. And I would see if there is anyway you can get custody of your brother. Is your father abusive? Is your mom willing to leave? Really, until your mom is ready to stand up to him, and leave , your brother is going to be under his control until he dies. And that is a horrible thought, but you didn’t do this and it’s not your fault. ######


Prompt:
My(F25) boyfriend (M33)  and I have been together for about two months. Prior to that though, we had been together for 3 years, broke up, and got back together after a year.

We live across the county from our family. Last year, him and I actually moved here together. After a month of living together we broke up, he went home back across the country... and I stayed here. We were still exes when he decided to move back here after 7ish months, he got a job and moved back. I urged him not to, but he did anyway.

So shortly after he moved back we started hanging out and are back in a relationship. I’m still living in the place that me and him initially moved into... it’s a great house, albeit, further away from work. He lives 20 minutes away and has for the winter. Just like almost everyone in our area, he’s lost his job. I am very grateful to still have one.

His lease is up this coming month, and a couple months ago we talked about him possibly moving back with me. After a couple weeks of thinking about it, I absolutely panicked. I value my alone time in my space and I freaked out at the idea of a SO living with me sooner than later. I let him know with adequate time for him how I felt and my decision. He was very sad. Sad at me, I felt like. Sad at my decision.

He has still not looked for a place to live, and he only has a couple more weeks at the place he lives at now. I guess we have different outlooks on this because I would have probably started looking for housing a month ago.

I don’t know if he’s relying on me to change my mind, or what is going on.

I can’t lie I feel like a total piece of shit, please tell me if I’m an asshole or not. ######

Response: NTA. And I recommend doing some deep thinking about whether or not you want to continue to be in a relationship with this man. You’ve broken up twice and told him not to get a job in your current town. It doesn’t sound like you really want to be with him for the long haul. You both deserve better than this relationship as it stands. ######


Prompt:
It sounds really really wrong, but hear me out. My dad passed away 2.5 years ago when I was 17, leaving me 20F  and my sister 18F with our crazy mother. She’s abusive and i moved away as soon as I could.

My dad was cremated, and she has kept his ashes hidden somewhere in her room since then, it the white box the funeral home gave him to us in. She held a very small service, and no obituary. Here’s where everything comes into play, my mom is very orthodox Catholic, and is aware that having someone’s ashes in your home is forbidden, so she wants to bury his ashes somewhere with a tombstone that has no name on it. My sister and I are not religious at all, and we would both like just a little bit of him to keep with us. I bought two very small urns and am planning on stealing some, my dad was a fantastic person who I believe deserves some sort of remembrance. She refuses to let either of us have anything of his, ever. She is sort of gatekeeping him, saying things like “He loved ME,” and just never mentioning us as a family, only him and her.

I get nervous that maybe doing this isn’t right, as if she ever found out I have no idea what could happen. But he was me and my sisters family too, and I think we should be able to have a little piece of him to remember. She won’t even let me take pictures of him. ######

Response: NTA. And I highly doubt she would find out if it means anything. What does she do, weight the box every night? ######


Prompt:
Me and my brother are wildly different people, I don't like to think I'm an "extrovert" but I do enjoy being out with my friends.  I do ok in school, not the best but not the worst I am pretty average so I won't be getting a scholarship to a good college anytime soon.  My brother on the other hand is VERY gifted academically, I'm a year older but he's in my grade and it has been like that since I was like 6 or 7.  He is very introverted and while he does have a friend group he told me he has never talked to them outside of school, he also looks down on anyone who isn't in the top 10 academically at our school (all his friends are in the top 10).  They constantly talk down to people at the school and I know this may sound mean but no one likes them cause they are just assholes to everyone and they think no one likes them cause they are smart and everyone is jealous.

Yesterday, I wanted to go get lunch with my friends but my dad told me I couldn't cause he didn't want me to waste the gas or something can't really remember.  I gave a kind of joking grunt and said ok and I wasn't gonna go, my brother straight up said "Maybe instead of going out with your friends you can work on your studies and get your grades up to mine (I am a solid B with the occasional C student).  I wasn't having it cause he ALWAYS does this sort of crap and looks down on everyone (especially me), I straight up told him this “dude you and your friends are uptight losers who think your better than everyone cause your smart.  College is gonna be a real ass kicker cause you are not nearly as smart as you think you are.  He said (and I quote) “what did you just fucking say?”  I told him I wasn’t in the mood to fight and went to my room.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA. And he is suffering big fish in little pond syndrome. You were absolutely correct that college is gonna be an eye opener. ######


Prompt:
A friend(f) of my girlfriend asked if she could borrow my laptop.

I assumed she was gonna check her email or social media or something.
She installed chinese government owned software that became part of the startup process.
And she installed a (chinese government) chrome extension that gave the extension full access to my browsing history and to modify websites that I visit. She clicked 'yes' to give permission for this.

I only discovered that these 2 apps were running in the background weeks later.

I told her in a pretty condescending way that to me it's common sense that:

\- you ask permission to install software on the device of someone else

\- you wanna uninstall it afterwards

She's 27, but i'm talking to her like she's a child.. AITA for that? ######

Response: NTA. And frankly, don't lend your laptop except with a guest account with no rights. ######


Prompt:
I work from home permanently. Since my 2 year old's daycare is shut down until further notice, she's been at home with me all every day while I've been working full time from home with a full plate. My sister, thankfully, has been able to take her 3 days a week starting last week, but that's still 2 days of work that I'm juggling a very active toddler with a full work load as a single mom with full custody.

I''m an account manager for restaurant audit servicing companies, and my project load has been cut down to almost nothing.  I'm literally pulling projects out of thin air to stay busy. My boss emailed me on Thusday a few weeks ago at midnight, asking what I had gotten done that week. I gave him a list, told him that Wednesday was a tough day for my daughter, and she was home with me, so I didn't get much done. He thanked me for my honesty but docked me half a day of pay. He owns the company so there's not much I can do.

That was enough to motivate me to do the bare minimum and start networking to secure a new job once this is over. Maybe I'm overreacting, but that really rubbed me the wrong way, especially since I was incredibly transparent about having my daughter home with me during this time, and they assured me it wouldn't be an issue. I have always put in extra hours, helped on projects that I'm not involved in, helped find solutions to issues that needed to be solved ASAP. Now I'm just not interested in doing anything for them. ######

Response: NTA. And for future reference never actually tell your boss things like that, they are always looking to screw people out of money. ######


Prompt:
I (20f, college sophomore) had 300 dollars in my savings account that I put there after I got paid for my work study job. Last week I went on my account and it’s gone. I went to my dad about it and he said he moved it somewhere else to save. I very politely said that since it’s my money from my work I would appreciate him putting it back and not touching it in the future. Fast forward to tonight, it’s still not back so I go to him again and he starts going on about how he can show me where he put it, that he won’t be moving it back to my account, and that I have no right to be upset. I said, okay, you have until tomorrow or I’m making my own back account for my work checks. (He has access to my current one bc it’s also where my college tuition, which he pays for, is paid from). He told me I was being a brat, that I am not to go off making my own account, and that I should appreciate him saving my money for me since I’m a bad spender. I tried to go to my mom about it and she said the same thing.

I admit I sometimes overspend, but I’m still upset over this because I feel like since I’m an adult, they need to let me learn how to save my money now and if I end up blowing it, I blow it and that’s on me. If I don’t learn that the hard way without mommy and daddy helping me now, when am I supposed to? But all that said, AITA?

EDIT: mentioned this in a reply and was told I should add this to the original post. Since my parents found out I was gay this past October, their financial support has been completely dependent on my not coming out anywhere publicly. If I so much as said “I’m gay” on Facebook all financial support would be cut. ######

Response: NTA. And for all you young folks out there, it's not normal to have a shared bank account with your parents and to put your paychecks in an account they have access to. Get your own bank account. ######


Prompt:
I am Asian, and live in an Asian community where everyone in town know each other. We gather once every 2-3 months.

A was my classmate in university. We're not really close, just somewhat between acquantance and friend. After graduation we haven't talked much, as she got married to her long time Muslim boyfriend, being busy with the family, and I started working hard. She is known for being godly, adopts Muslim diet and doesn't miss prayer time since uni.

2 months ago, she moved to our neighborhood and we both think the gathering is a good way to get to know people. This time it was held in our place. Now you may know that most of Chinese dishes contain pork, which is prohibited in Islam. I asked several Muslim-Chinese about what do they eat, and got to know that they still make the same dishes, but replace pork by either lamb/chicken. So I made normal Chinese food with pork, and halal-dupes for A. Her husband had night shift, so she joined the party alone, and didn't look pleased when I noticed her about the food. She just didn't speak much and was keeping distance from me, so after that I had to messaged her about how did things go. Finally, she said she feels being discriminated because I served her different foods, and told me that I could always make pork-free food at first and that people wouldn't mind.

My original intention was only to respect her religion, but I feel like she has her point. So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. And as a muslim myself i can assure you it's prohibited for her to act this ungrateful.

I can only dream to have friends and family to do this for me smh . ######


Prompt:
So this one surprisingly will be a short post, because if I go to detail I will need at least 20000+ words because I don’t want to give some details and leave out others and also it hurts as fuck to write such a painful story.

Basically my (24f) girlfriend was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer just before quarantine which had spread to almost everywhere and her life expectancy is a year at most, and with her doctors’s help and even after the quarantine we discussed if she would be able to make our travel plan with her condition in around October and the doctor told us there was an 90% chance she could , and we made a perfect plan to make all her checklist and travel dreams come true -which sadly none of which she has yet done-.

But fast forward and I find her phone and find out that she was cheating for about half a year on Mr and the last time she contacted the affair partner was the day of her diagnosis.

When I found out I just confronted her and told her “she deserves this” and left.

She has been calling me daily ever since and begging to make the travel thing -and it makes me really sad to see her like this but still she was cheating for a year and a half on me-

So I dropped all the plans with her and when I told her,  she was absolutely crushed and so was I.

This has been fucking with me ever since.

AITA Reddit?

I’m just so depressed and mentally drained at this point ######

Response: NTA. An unfortunate situation but cheating for me is zero tolerance. ######


Prompt:
Me and my girlfriend tell each other we love the other and have been dating for a year. We got together our senior year of high school.

The first time I told her I love her while she was naked she got upset. We had told each other we love the other many times before but this was the first time I told her I love her while she was naked. She said to not tell her that when she is naked because it isn't genuine love when she is naked, she said the emotion I feel when I see her naked is lust. I tell her I always feel love for her but I am obviously more attracted to her when she is naked. I stopped saying it when she was nude because she would not like it and would repeat those reasons.

I accidentally let an I love her slip when she was naked and she got really upset saying I'm confusing love for lust. Whenver I say it while she is clothed she says it back to me happily. ######

Response: NTA. An anecdote, if you will.  My husband  and I have been together for about thirty years. He still tells my breasts he loves them, and I’m sure it’s true love just as I’m sure that your love for your naked girlfriend is as real as it is when she’s clothed. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because I don't want to clog up my main with toothbrush domestic BS.

My boyfriend and I just got a new pack of toothbrushes. It's a multipack where they are random colors and when I opened the packet I took out the first toothbrush barely even looking at the color, brushed my teeth and continued about my day, leaving the other in the packet for my bf.

When he went to brush his teeth, he came out of the bathroom asking me to change toothbrushes with him. I said no because I'd already used my new toothbrush and it's unhygienic.

The reason he didnt want to use the one left in the packet was because it was pink. The one I took was green. I told him if he really cared about which toothbrush he uses he should have just got up earlier, then he could have had first pick and that he was being very childish making a fuss about the color of his goddamn toothbrush.

He said I should have looked at what color toothbrush I was taking and not left the pink one for him. He said most men wouldn't want to use a pink toothbrush. I said most adults wouldn't care what color toothbrush they're using. Nobody is going to see him using a pink toothbrush and laugh at him. His penis is not going to fall off simply from using a pink toothbrush.

Either way, it's unhygienic in my view to share toothbrushes so I'm not switching and if he's really that butthurt about it he can go and buy himself a new toothbrush in whatever color he wants.

Anyway, he got angry and told me I was being a bitch about it, and I honestly feel bad because clearly I'm in a relationship with an absolute child... so reddit, what do? AITA here? ######

Response: NTA. Amazing how he thinks that throwing a tantrum over a toothbrush is the manly choice to make. ######


Prompt:
So my girlfriend of 3 years and I recently just decided to end our relationship, and thus will no longer be attending the wedding of another couple. We both felt it would be nice for another couple to be able to take our place as opposed to either of us finding a +1. We gave the bride and groom over 2 weeks notice; basically the day we broke up so we wouldn’t have foreseen and notify them any earlier. These are the texts we received tonight
-Hey man, so I totally get it that you’re unable to attend and I hope it doesn’t sound like a being a dick or anything but we just got confirmation from the venue that we have to pay for all the guests we already reported... so hopefully you’re all good with still paying for the plates since it was so last minute :)
- Hey, The venue just informed us that we would have to pay for your plate and his plate since it hasn’t been cancel enough in advance
I feel so bad about the situation you are in but unfortunately we can’t afford to pay for the two plate ... if only we knew more than a week in advance or so it would have been different .

Personally, I feel with previous actions too they have shown they’re not so much friends and their priorities are showing. This wedding feels more like a business transaction and less of a day for love. This made both my ex girlfriend and I even question getting a gift for them now. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Am I the only one who thinks it’s tacky anyway to make your guest pay for their own food at your wedding? ######


Prompt:
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My brother decided to propose and had me help pick it out. We decided to get her one with a middle stone that was 2.5 carats, with a baguette on each side that was about 1 carat each. Brother proposed she said yes but she was upset, saying she expected a bigger ring since he makes enough to buy her 5k ring, and that she can't handle him acting cheap all the time. He was really upset about this because this ring cost about 40k and was amazing clarity, colour etc. and he researched it excessively and made sure that it was the exact design ring she wanted. He called me and got mad at me because I was the one who said he should get the main stone to be 2.5k because bigger than that looks a little tacky and showy. I told him that this is probably God waving a red flag and giving him a chance to get out. I told him that someone who can't appreciate that 40k (esp since thats how much she makes a year), is a lot to spend on a ring. She didn't care about how hard he tried to please her, just about the money. He thought it over and agreed and broke it off. She called me after he asked her to move out and told me I was a meddling bitch and my brother will never get married when his family is so nosey. I asked my friends about it and they agreed, they said that you only get one engagement ring and she should get the ring she wants. So reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Am I reading this right and your brother spent *$40,000* on an engagement ring and it STILL wasn't good enough for her? JFC.

>told me I was a meddling bitch and my brother will never get married when his family is so nosey.

LOL. Even more reason for your bro to break up with her.

I'd also reconsider your friendships with your friends. ######


Prompt:
I went out to dinner with my husband and our neighbors. My husband is a native Spanish speaker and I am mostly fluent. During the dinner, I got a few texts from the babysitter saying that my son had diarrhea in his pants and was crying from an upset stomach. Another came a few minutes later saying he didn’t have a fever and the babysitter had it under control and we didn’t need to come home early. I saw the texts after the second one came in so I got the whole story at once.

My husband asked what was wrong and I quickly told him in Spanish because I didn’t want to talk about poop at the table, but I also didn’t want to just say that our son had an upset stomach because he’s been having some digestive issues so it’s important for us to know what’s going on. I also wanted to make sure that he didn’t want to head out early under the circumstances even though the sitter said she had it handled.

Well the husband of the other couple didn’t not take it well. He called us rude and demanded to know what we said. I tried to explain that my son was having a health problem and I didn’t want to toilet talk at the table, but he didn’t believe me and said that we were obviously talking about them. We both tried to reassure him that we weren’t, but he refused to speak to us for the rest of the meal. We ended up just making awkward small talk with his wife who looked like she was very embarrassed. However, when I retold this story to some friends, some said we shouldn’t have spoken Spanish in front of them because it was rude and it’s only natural to worry that we were talking negatively about them. Am I the asshole for speaking Spanish about my sons accident/illness at the dinner table? ######

Response: NTA. Although you should have thrown the drink at him and said how dare you speak in English about me and my husband and stormed off. Just so he could be confused as to what the fuck happened. ######


Prompt:
Im in a group chat with a some friends and one of the girls was forced to confess during a game we were playing that she likes men with hairy legs. It was sort of embarrassing but not so much for her I guess. I then sent the group chat a pic of my hairy legs. Bunch of other guys do the same and its hilarious.

Then one girl in the group chat then says Im a horrible person for doing that because i have a gf and its the equivalent of sending a girl nudes. All of us start texting in the chat things like Lol because nobody thought she was serious, well low and behold she tells my gf I'm sending that girl innapropiriate photos and my gf calls me and screams at me saying I'm a horrible person and shit. I told her to chill out and explained it. We then removed that bitch from the group and don't let her play with us.

She says we need to forgive her and she was looking out for other girls. Some of the group want her  back in but the others don't. I told her to fuck off when she tries to apologize and get back in. ######

Response: NTA. Although it's a little concerning that your GF automatically trusted this girl's word before even asking you about it in a mature way. ######


Prompt:
AITA for wanting to retake my wedding photos?

Last summer I got married. My cousin is a photographer who lives in a different part of the country and she flew in to take the photos for my big day. There was never any discussion of it costing money, that it would be a family thing. She even stayed at my house while she was here. Family came from all over the country as we are quite a large family and it is rare to see us all in one place. She got tons of photos and she gave us a few of the ones that were took. Everything seems normal, until months go by and she still hasn’t sent over the rest of the photos. I’ve messaged her numerous times for her to send the wedding photos to me. Sometimes she responds, other times she doesn’t and just likes the message. I’ve offered to pay her money for the photos which she has declined to accept. I’m not sure what the issue is on her part at this point. It’s been a year and I still only have the handful of photos she sent over the day of the wedding.

I am considering hiring a photographer and getting some wedding photos taken again so I can have some to frame in my house. My only issue is I only have so many photos taken with my family and I’m disappointed because they won’t be the same as the ones taken on the wedding day. It will be impossible to recreate the photos we took when we were getting ready and leading up the whole day. I’m going to now have to get photos retaken and then when I post them on social media which then she’ll know I got them retaken. I feel like these wedding photos have driven a wedge in our family. ######

Response: NTA. Although I suggest letting your cousin know what you are planning to do before actually hiring another photographer. Just be honest, and tell her that you need the pictures now, otherwise you are going somewhere else for them. You also have to think about why she isn’t sending them. Maybe softly ask her if there is a reason. You never know; it’s possible that the files could have gotten deleted/corrupted, or the pictures didn’t turn out how she liked and she doesn’t want to tell you or let you see. ######


Prompt:
 A girl I have never met before added me on FB, we had a few mutuals including one I'm very good friends with, so I accepted it, and then she sent me a message out of the blue telling me she thought I was cute and wanted to date me. I politely said no and made an excuse I was already seeing someone, apparently, our mutuals told her I was very nice.

I saw that she had a few months old baby from a previous relationship, she was also a teen mom. I had never met this girl, had never been in a relationship and didn't want the responsibility of looking after her child as I am not good with children but do not hate them, and I was just plain not interested in general. She asked if we could be friends and in my meekness I said 'sure' but tried my best to keep her at arms length, I saw that she was one of those people who likes to air their drama on FB and honestly it just wasn't something that I wanted to get into. She then started messaging me asking if we could talk but I made the excuse of saying I was busy etc. Eventually, the messages off her became persistent and I blocked her.

Her friends are now telling people a story that I coldly rejected her because she had a kid when this is the farthest thing from and making me out to be some misogynist and jerk. I just wasn't interested in this girl whom I had never met before. Am I the asshole? because I feel like I am. ######

Response: NTA. Also, you should only friend people who actually treat you like friends.  These friends of hers are not your friends, and neither is she.  You handled yourself quite well given the situation. ######


Prompt:
So basically, there’s this restaurant in my home town that for some reason my family absolutely love. It’s kind of a Mediterranean grill type restaurant. I don’t live in my home town anymore but do visit to see my family, and we always end up eating there.

Me and my girlfriend are vegan. I normally try not to bring it up because I get embarrassed when people make a big deal about it, but it’s relevant to the story. Literally everything on the menu is a meat or fish dish. There is nothing on the menu I can eat so I normally have to ask if they’ll remove the meat from something, which results in a bit of a shitty meal, and they charge the same price for it. Not a huge deal, I’m kind of used to having to do that (although normally it’s easier to ask for no cheese on something than “can I have the chicken pasta with no chicken?”). Makes it a bit harder that the waiting staff there do always seem to take it as a personal attack. I’ve made the point that I don’t like eating there in the past several times, but the response has always been that I’m choosing to limit what I can eat, so I don’t really get a choice.

Anyway, my birthday’s coming up, I’m travelling back home to see my family and my mum’s called me saying “I’ve booked us into \[the restaurant\] on your birthday”. I said can we just book somewhere else, there’s plenty of restaurants in town that are more accommodating. Apparently I’m TA because my mum would be embarrassed to call up to cancel the booking (they go there so often that the staff know them) and she’s already told all my family that that’s where we’re going. This ended up being a bit of an argument which has kind of soured going home for my birthday. I’m not trying to force veganism on my family, or get them to eat at a purely vegan restaurant, I just would like to eat somewhere with a couple more options.

Am I being inconsiderate when everyone else loves it? Should I just suck it up and eat somewhere I don’t like eating on my birthday? ######

Response: NTA. Also, why is she picking where you get to eat for your birthday? The rule in my family is that the birthday person always gets to pick where they eat for their birthday meal. Even my kid who has a NYE birthday gets to pick where he goes, we just need to be organised enough to book 4-6 weeks before the day because everyone wants to go out on NYE. ######


Prompt:
AITA - I ordered takeout, picked up my food, and the resturaunt called as I was pulling into my driveway.  The person from the restaurant told me she gave us an extra bag of food and asked me to drive back and drop it off at the restaurant. I told her that I really didn’t want to drive back and drop the food off and she just hung up on my mid sentence.

Am I the asshole?

I know I wouldn’t want food that someone took away from the restaurant and brought back. ######

Response:
 NTA. Also, pretty sure Corona precautions mean they can’t re-sell the food anyway.

We’ve had a couple of times over the last few months where we’ve got wrong / additional/ mixed up orders, every single time we’ve been told to keep what we’ve got and had the correct one sent out as well. ######


Prompt:
My (24m) girlfriends (23) mom recently decided to invite herself over to our house once a week because she has virtually nothing better to do but sit around at our house and complain about most things in her life. When she is over she wants to see our three month old baby.

My girlfriends sister is in town right now from Nebraska and she had plans to spend time with her sister alone because her mom favors her sister more than all of her other kids. But instead of doing that, her mom invites her sister, her kids, and herself over to our home tomorrow morning to sit around. In no world is our home big enough for it but my girlfriend said yes, but told her mom I would stay in our room.
I suffer from anxiety around groups of people no matter the size and have been feeling a little down lately. The COVID pandemic has also prevented me from seeing my family at all this year.

Her mom threw a fit and said I’m acting like I don’t like them, when I reminded my girlfriend that not only has her mom never had a conversation with me, she also fails to realize that with myself working forty plus hours a week, I rarely get time to relax with my girlfriend and our son alone. I also pointed out that my family always talks to my girlfriend over the phone quite often, and genuinely likes talking to her.

Her mom said that’s crap, but also ignored the previous statement about my depression and anxiety. So reddit. Am I the asshole for not wanting to be uncomfortable in my own home and letting them have family time without me?

Side note, my girlfriends niece also lives with us, and that would add to the number of people in our already small living room. ######

Response:
 Nta. Also, have why can't these meet ups take place somewhere else? Tell your girlfriend to speak to her mother and explain that you're actually being very generous allowing her round in the first place.

Having said that, I would try to say hi to the family before you excuse yourself (anxiety allowing). ######


Prompt:
My parents are both working and that leaves me in charge of my 3 younger brothers, its not that bad and my only responsibility is to basically make sure they don't burn down the house and make lunch and sometimes dinner. I was making this stew thing that was sitting in a crock pot close to all day. I made enough so that my parents could have some when they returned. I put the stew in a pot and put it on the dining table. My brother who is the oldest of the 3 is 11 and can dish them up cause I had to go back and finish my essay for school.

I finished the paper and when I was gonna go get a bowl cause I was hungry the older 2 were wrestling or something and accidentally knocked over the whole pot of stew. We have a dog so even if I could just eat the meat it had dog hair all over it. It was discouraging that all the work I put into it just for it to be knocked over cause they weren't aware of their surroundings. I think I maybe TA here: I said in a loud voice but I wasn't yelling "Are you 2 fucking serious? You guys are almost in middle school and still don't know your fucking  surroundings? Come on you both KNOW better, get out of the kitchen you'll just make it worse." They had a face that just said that they think I'm crazy for getting mad at them and that they don't feel bad.

I thought it was all done and I was in my room when my mom came home. I guess my youngest brother (9yo) didn't like me cussing and told my mom. She took away my phone for 3 days cause cussing at my little brothers is a big no-no and that I could have just cleaned it up without being mean to them. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Also tell your mom you wont be cooking for them anymore if she wants to take your phone away. Yes not feeding kids is considered child abuse, but then its a good thing that they're not your kids. ######


Prompt:
Growing up we were not close with my dad’s family at all. All holidays and special occasions were done with my mom’s family and it was clear as I got older that there was some tension between my mother and my dad’s side of the family. As a teen, I had resentment towards my mom because I felt like she was keeping us from my dad’s family.

Once I became an adult, my mom told me how poorly she was treated by my dad’s family, mainly his sister. It was bad. My dad’s mom passed away a few years ago (she was a single parent) and my dad really does not have much living family left.

I got engaged at the beginning of the year. My dad must have told my aunt because she immediately called me to congratulate us. I had not spoken to her since my grandmother’s funeral years ago. I then received a friend request from her on FB and was very surprised, because that means at one point she had to have unfriended me. (It wasn’t a new account and we definitely were FB friends a few years ago.) Once I accepted her request she took our engagement photos from my FB and posted them on her page for all her friends to ooh and ahh over.  She is one of those people that always has to show off and needs attention and validation from others. She even asked me to send her a close up of my ring, to which I said no.

My fiancé and I are paying for our wedding ourselves. We are currently working on our guest list and I really don’t want to invite her. I feel like she would be there for all the wrong reasons. I also don’t want my mom to be uncomfortable, even though she would never tell me if she was. My mom is a saint. I do feel bad because that is my dad’s sister and I know it would mean a lot to him if she was there.

AITA for not wanting my aunt at my wedding? ######

Response: NTA. Also NTA if you block her and make FB take down your engagement pics she stole. ######


Prompt:
This happened tonight on reddit lol so it's still fresh and I'm heated and annoyed. I am a high school senior trying to choose between colleges. I made a reddit post tonight on one of the college's subs. A professor commented on my post and that's the part that went downhill...

Prof: What's better - going to a more prestigious school but not graduating in Engineering or going to a good school and graduating in Engineering?

Me: If I'm going to struggle in Engineering, wouldn't it be better to go to the better school? "I know ivy league colleges have higher graduation rates overall so it  seems like that's a safer bet in case I can't make it in Engineering"

Prof: Highights the quoted part above and replies "Not sure where you came up with that. The available stats suggest the opposite"

Then basically it devolves into me asking for that data and the professor either ignoring me or giving me irrelevant data that doesn't back up that claim. I then made a post directly asking if they were just ignoring my request for data when they said "the available stats suggest the opposite". They then replied that they did not say that.

So I looked back and they edited their post to say "Not sure where you came up with that. Is it college specific?". Luckily another user sent me screenshots so I have proof they edited their post.

I just asked for a professor to be professional and address the claim they made, but instead, they edited their post and act like I'm being unreasonable. It's infuriating because I thought I was being somewhat respectful to an extent, asking the professor for the data and giving an opportunity to prove their point. Anyway, I know it's petty but WIBTA if I made a post on that sub (if allowed) to see if they'll hold their professor accountable or if they will just be professional? ######

Response: NTA. Also just read through the thread, jeez that prof sounds like an asshole ######


Prompt:
Some background: My husband has been helping his mother pay for rent/bills for a while now since his father has been out of the picture and there's almost no contact. About a year into our relationship, I was asked for help here and there as well.

My parents are still together and they're better off, so I have been fortunate not face anything like this growing up. They've never asked for help from me or my siblings, so maybe I just do not understand my husband's point of view.

Husband has two younger siblings (ages 12 and 16) who still live with his mom, whom he also helps support. MIL was laid off last year and did not want to look for a job so she could 'finally relax' for a bit. This infuriated me since she has two younger children still living with her, yet still had my husband help out with finances. Now with the pandemic, work is hard to find. I told him I understand that it'll be hard to find work, so as long as she's actively trying to find work, I'll be more patient.

My husband is in the Navy so he said he feels comfortable still helping out his mother, but now we're talking about having kids. I told him I refuse to start having kids until his mother can support herself. He's told me I don't understand, but I also do not want to worry about supporting children while we're still worrying about helping his mother out. I told him I can wait as long as it takes, just as long as she's independent before we think about having kids.
AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Also have him start logging every time he gives her or them money and how much. Dates, amounts, what it’s for (if possible). It might make your case easier and it’s sometimes easier to see things when they are in black and white like that. Also I mean this as separate from whatever budgeting and balancing the checkbook you all do. ######


Prompt:
My sister and I are both staying with our mother, because she’s very sick and needs help, and we both want to be there with her before she passes. We’ve both been here about a month now. My husband and I are here with our daughter and she is here alone.

We’ve been watching a movie every night for the past week or so. Last night we watched John Wick, I guess spoilers if you haven’t seen it. My husband cried a little during the part when they kill his dog, not like full out sobbing, just a little bit. Afterwards he told me it was because he was thinking about living without me, which I thought was really sweet. Anyway, after the movie my husband put our daughter to bed, and did something else. My sister and I were just talking and she made a comment where she said something like: I can’t believe you married that baby. I was pretty annoyed at the comment but gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked what she meant.

She pointed out that he was crying at the beginning of the movie. I asked why that meant he’s a baby and she said crying at a movie, especially when it’s not even sad is childish. I told her that I didn’t appreciate comments like that, and she basically blew me off and said it was a joke.

I didn’t talk to her much today, and she finally around 4 said she was sorry in the most unapologetic, sarcastic tone. I acknowledged it but then skipped the movie tonight. She then told me that I’m overreacting and it was a one joke and to calm down. That we should be friendly with each other before our mom dies. I think that if she wants to be friendly she should apologize for real. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. All your sister is doing is continuing to foster poor socialization in men. There is NOTHING wrong with having emotions. I wouldn't scream at her or anything, but not wanting to participate in a movie with her one time because you feel an apology is owed is definitely not an AH thing to do. ######


Prompt:
As a little bit of background my husband had a motorcycle accident 3 months ago and his right foot had several fractures, he's doing ok now but it still hurts a lot when he needs to go down the stairs or needs to do strength related things. After the accident one of his friends took the motorcycle home and has been here since, given the stay at home order and the pain on his leg he hasn't been able to move the motorcycle at all. So I (I have no idea hot to ride a motorcycle) have been turning it on for a couple minutes every now and then (after he asked me to do it and explained the basics to me).

Last week I went to turn the thing on and it was completely dead, I have no idea how any of that works but I've seen him turn it on with a lever thingy on the side so I asked him to come downstairs with me and try it. He gave it a go but the pain was too much so he told me to do it, and as you may expect I was pretty unsuccessful.

Today during breakfast he said we would need a mechanic to check on the bike to know if it has any problems given it has been in the house for so long or if I was just incompetent. I asked him to elaborate and he said "I need to know if there's any damage to the ignition or if is just your incompetence that won't let it turn on".

I told him that word was kinda harsh and that he could probably say that in better terms, he is telling me he just used the correct word for not having the ability  to do something and that is not his fault I'm deciding to take the word as offensive and he's not responsible for the way I take his "context-appropriate" words.

The conversation just died then and we are not talking right now, I'm kind of expecting an apology from him but he says I'm making a bigger deal than it really is and that it should be me who has to apologize for ruining the mood, and now I'm wondering if I'm just being too sensitive about it, so AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. All words have denotation and connotation. Denotation is the definition you’d find in the dictionary. Connotation is what we associate with a word. Think about the word “bird”. What comes to mind? For most people, it’s going to be a very birdlike bird, a smallish songbird like a robin or a sparrow. For most people, birds like ostriches, penguins or pelicans, while still birds, don’t exemplify the birdy qualities they associate with the word “bird” on its own. So, for example, when you say “she eats like a bird”, you mean “she eats very daintily like a sparrow”, not “she forces large amounts of food down her gullet whole like a pelican”. No one would understand your meaning in the second example because pelicans don’t exemplify “birdieness” despite still technically being birds.

With “incompetent”, the definition “doesn’t know how to do a thing” is the denotation. The connotation is “stupid, SHOULD know how to do a thing but doesn’t”. That is how we actually USE the word. We do not call a brand new employee “incompetent” on their first day because they haven’t learned the job yet. We call the employee whose work is still riddled with mistakes after five years “incompetent” because they should know better, but don’t.

All this to say, your husband is being pedantic about the ~technically correct~ definition of the word. It’s not used that way, and unless he is an ESL speaker who doesn’t understand the connotation, he knows that. He knows well and good he was insulting you and calling you names, he just doesn’t want to apologize. ######


Prompt:
My husband worked a very long shift today. I worked my normal 8 hour shift. When he gets home from work, I start dinner because he insists on showering AND taking an hour long bath. Fine, he wants to unwind. But today. Oh today. He comes in the house and the following conversation ensues:

H: “what’s for dinner?”
Me: “I can make pulled pork sandwiches with Mac and cheese. Grilled chicken and Cesar salad, or that lasagna your mom dropped off.”
H: “you spend $70 on groceries this week and those are our choices?”
Me: “I did the grocery shopping on Saturday. It’s Thursday, that’s what we have left. And meat is expensive.”
H: “Well none of those sound good.”
Me: “Fine. We can get takeout then.”
H: “I don’t want to spend the money.”
Me: “okay, then pick something we have here. We’ve got frozen meals in the freezer I can do.”
H: “Nothing we have sounds good.”
Me: “I’m making the pulled pork. If you don’t like it, you can cook something for yourself.”

I gave up. I walked away, I’m so annoyed. I’m 6 months pregnant and very tired, and I have been craving pulled pork for DAYS. That’s what I made, and he got angry that I didn’t make something he wanted. AITA for cooking what I wanted when he wouldn’t make a decision? ######

Response: NTA. All that sounds delicious, can I have his share? I'll say 'thank you' and everything! ######


Prompt:
Now I know the title seems harsh, but hear me out.

Me and my best friend of about 14 years (let’s call her Amy) are as a close as two peas in a pod. Because of this, we like to think of ways that we could “roast” each other.  Now I want to make a few things clear:

1. There are strict boundaries about what we do and do not joke about (for example it is more than fine to take a piss out of my nose, but the death of my granpa is a no-no zone.)

2. If a joke hurt one of us, we express that, which is usually followed by a apology and a talk about boundaries if the person wishes to do so.

3. All of our mutual friends know it and pay it no mind.

Recently, a new person came into out group (let’s call them Alex). They’ve been introduced to out group dynamics, and they’re been told about Amy’s and mine banter.

It’s all been fun and games, however one day I get an email from my head of my class to come and talk to her. I went, and apparently someone reported me for bullying Amy. This took a good week to solve, and both me and Amy had to have numerous conversations with head of class to prove that it’s all chill.

 I did go to Amy, I asked if I did anything to hurt her. She said no

Next time , we’re sitting in a group, I’m telling the story, and Alex says “yeah it might have been me”
I got very mad , cause their behavior caused both of us a bunch of trouble. Alex said that they do not like our jokes, so they’ve decided to report me just in case I was hurting Amy.

I have decided to cut them out, but some friends think that I’m being to harsh.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. All of you told him it was a joke. He should have asked Amie first if the jokes are hurting her or not. ######


Prompt:
Bg: I'm 17 years old. I live with my mom and dad but for the past few months, my sister's 3 kids have been living with us. They have no manners, are disrespectful, and are destructive. For example, they scribbled over my expensive drawing tablet (their mom blamed me), ripped up the dining room chairs, and threw things at my parents along with saying I'm Satan (which was funny but still). I will be only mentioning 2 of them (P:6; R:4) as the other is a baby. I watch them from morning to 4 PM as my parents work. I hate kids btw. My parents always threatened them with punishment but never follow through. They yell at me when I try to enforce rules. Their mom decided to move to a far away state and rarely calls. My parents let her do whatever because it's for the kids. They stopped parenting me when P was born. Note: they aren't like this because they miss their parents. The parents let the walk over them and trashed our house before.

So both decided to tear up the toilet paper and throw it in the trash. Big. Problem. My mom told them they had to use the trashed paper. Then she left all the fresh toilet paper in reach even after they told her they weren't using it. So I took all the toilet paper and put it on the high shelf (Possible Asshole Move 1). We finally got the baby down to sleep. They decided to play roughly and loudly after I warned them 5 times. I told them the next time I came out of my room one of them would go take a nap. R kicked P so I sent him to their room. He proceeded to kick stuff and throw himself down knowing the baby was asleep in the room next to him. After a few more minutes of that and warnings, I sent him downstairs, which is a mini basement with a washer, dryer, some baskets, etc. (PAM 2). AITA for this? I'm just sick of having to take care of them all the time.
I do feel guilty because everyone around me is getting on me like I'm supposed to be the perfect mom and the kids started crying. ######

Response: NTA. All I'm seeing here is a 17-year-old being thrown into an impossible situation, and dealing fairly well with it. Taking toilet paper out of reach is a normal reaction, and having kids go into time-out is also a normal thing. ######