Prompt:
Hey all, I’m a college cheer coach, and when I recruited a school I noticed that their coach wasn’t exactly the best. She seemed very rude to the team, and in general. (Which isn’t why I’m posting, just a bit about her). She didn’t care for safety, as she would have the girls throw baskets when they practiced under a low ceiling, and the girls would subsequently crash into the ceiling but she would tell them to suck it up or get taken out. That in itself is a major safety violation, and she does blatantly. I called her out on it, but she laughed and said it doesn’t matter. I wrote an email to the AD, but never got a response.

Now the same coach is making the team fundraise for her and two girls to go to Hawaii for a cheer camp. Which I don’t think the whole team should have to fundraise. But the real kicker is that she plans on taking her family as well, and that her family is included in the team fundraising. I feel like that’s a big no no, and pretty unethical.

So Reddit. Would I be the asshole if I reported this coach for her blatant safety disregards and now this fundraising stunt to her ADs? I would get in contact with the other assistant ADs for this happen. I feel like I should step in as I also coach this sport and don’t want to see other people get hurt because of this coach. Thanks all! ######

Response: NTA! Wow all sorts of red flags here! Ethics, safety, leadership...please do everyone a good service and report them! ######


Prompt:
I apologize for my English in advance.

Hi I am a 13 year old male who was born in south Korea and moved to Canada at 11 years old. I have been in Canada for coming on 2 years. Out of my family of 5 I am the worst at English. Today I had a video call doctors appointment for my health. With my English skills I could not tell the doctor about my health rightly. So I ask my sister who is 15 female to help me. She is way better at English then me and has the best English in the family. So whenever I could not say something the way I wanted I told her want I wanted to say in Korean. She helped me the hole time. After the doctor hanged up she started scolding me about how I need to be better at English saying I learned Korean faster then I did English. I told her that I could speak English mostly it is just some parts I cant and I need help. She then said that I'm 13 and need to act it and take responsibility. I feel  it was not a problem to help me but she was very upset that it. ######

Response: NTA! Woah, a lot of pressure at your age. Sorry to hear it. Your English is great for having had such a short period of time to learn. I don't get the "you're 13 so you should be better" attitude at all. To me, its more like "You're 13, have already come so far, and have plenty of time to perfect it" ######


Prompt:
Context
Me 16m and my brother 12m get along pretty much well.
He will more often than not though *always* leave a dish or crumbs or idk something left over on my bed after he was in there for a little bit and its gotten annoying.
So for the past idk month or so whenever he left something on my bed instead of throwing it away or taking it to the kitchen I just have been moving them to his bed and hoping that'd make him stop.
Well today this happened but he left a contained of raspberries on my bed. So lile usual I moved them.
Well cue a few hours later he goes back and sees them there. And pulls back the bed sheet to reveal the juices leaked and left a stain on his mattress. He gets mad and goes to the other side of the house.
This includes him telling my mom what happened and her getting mad at me for not putting stuff back that he leaves behind. I tell her I tell him to and he doesn't but she just walks off hearing nothing of it
At this point i felt bad for the stain so i went and got some peroxide and a crappy towel and got to work.... Voila stain is gone in like 2 minutes.
He's still mad at me as is my mother but idk what to do about it at this point
Reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA! Why is he leaving his trash on your bed? ######


Prompt:
This happened a few months ago but I recently told this story to my roommate who thinks I overreacted.

I'd ordered food from an app and the driver called me to ask for my address. I had him on call for a bit because he seemed kinda clueless and it took him a while to find my building, but the conversation never went anywhere personal. I just gave him directions ,thanked him for the food and hung up. Didnt even get the guys name or anything.

Few hours later I opened my whatsapp and saw that an unknown number had sent me a ton of voice messages. I listened to them and recognised the guys voice. Tbh, there was nothing objectively weird in it, he just talked about how nice of a person I seemed and how he'd like to keep in touch and it wasnt a big deal if I wasnt into it but it still creeped me out. I'm a female living with a female roommate and this guy knowing my address made me pretty uncomfortable. I reported him to the app and they said they would deal with it so I blocked him and let it go. A couple of weeks later the same guy messaged me from another number and I blocked his ass like lightning but I was pretty stressed at that time so I didn't really focus on doing anything about it.

My roommate and I were chatting yesterday and I brought the story up, thinking I was in the right for dealing with him, but she thinks that it was an AH move. In my country ( and I guess in most countries) this guy was probably a min wage worker and he'd mentioned in one of the voice messages that he had kids so me reporting him could have caused him problems. According to her, he wasnt pushy and just sounded lonely and naive so I should have just blocked him and let it be. We also live in a gated building and the guy just dropped off the food with security and never saw my face so I shouldn't have 'panicked'.

I think I was justified in being concerned for my safety, but I feel bad for getting someone into so much trouble if it was innocent. AITA? ######

Response: NTA! What that guy did was hugely inappropriate. Doesn't matter if he's lonely, has kids or whatever, you do not use your job to access people's contact details and address etc ######


Prompt:
AITA for refusing to go to my sisters wedding?

This happened almost a year ago, but I’m still getting shit for it, so I guess I’ll share here and see where my judgement lies.

So my sister (s) got married to (A), the man who did bad things to me me. We didn’t press charges because he wore protection so there was no
semen for evidence, so the case was somewhat useless already, and we could afford a lawyer. She knew about this before she dated him. She was the first person I went to. Anyway, they ended up dating and got engaged. S asked me to be her maid of honor, but I told her that there is no way I would go to her wedding, and can’t believe she would marry such a horrible man. We both shed a lot of tears that day, but S still insisted she loved A and that he’d changed.

I ended up not going and severing ties with S. Recently, S had a baby and my parents have been giving me hell for my decision, and refusing to meet my nephew or be in any of their lives. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA! What is wrong with your family?! Your sister marries the person who assaulted you and now your family expects you to just roll with it?

Are you in therapy for what happened to you? I was assaulted a few years ago, and therapy helped me work through a lot of trauma. ######


Prompt:
My wife's uncle is Islamophobic. I'm Muslim and my wife is Hindu. Her uncle has always been very friendly to be but also talked about Muslims are ruining the country and should go back. It is wierd but he doesn't see me as Muslim for some reason. I am one of the good ones, but every other friend isn't.

Recently he posted a Facebook message saying that Muslim men are trying to seduce Hindu girls. Apparently the reason is that Hindu girls don't smoke or drink much and have better organs. So Muslims seduce them and then steal their organs. His Facebook is filled with shit like this.

I replied with " I am glad you think I married 'wife's name' so I can steal her organs". He deleted his post a little while later. Anyway here wife's family think I'm an asshole. Apparently I'm rude and that is just the way he is. My justification is that he has been rude to me consistently and I don't need to consider his feelings any more. Unfortunately my wife is stuck in between.

So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA! This is like those families that say things like “homosexuals are ruining America and they shouldn’t have the right to adopt/get married” yet are magically accepting of their own gay child, but no one else’s.

You’re either racist/bigoted or you’re not. ######


Prompt:
AITA - I ordered takeout, picked up my food, and the resturaunt called as I was pulling into my driveway.  The person from the restaurant told me she gave us an extra bag of food and asked me to drive back and drop it off at the restaurant. I told her that I really didn’t want to drive back and drop the food off and she just hung up on my mid sentence.

Am I the asshole?

I know I wouldn’t want food that someone took away from the restaurant and brought back. ######

Response: NTA! They would be in major hot water if they had given that food to someone else. Definitely not legal. Once they hand it off to a customer they can't take it back and give it to someone else. It's ridiculous that they even asked you to do that. ######


Prompt:
I heard you are asshole aficionados here, and this is tangentially related to a literal one.

I work at a welding shop in the midwest.  It's hot, I sweat.  The toilet paper supplied by work is tough-guy TP: don't take crap off nobody, and you'll bleed if you try.

The last thing I need is a mud problem on a hot summer day.

So I be a little proactive, bring some brand name stuff here.  I don't have a locker, so I leave at my desk.  Do my business, have a fresh rest of my day.

Work is 24 hours, 7 days a week, divided into three shifts.  I come in, the damn thing is near empty.  Off shift workers took turns with my TP to their anuses like a three dollar hooker.

I've since requested a locker but told them it wasn't ok (stern, not yelling) and I have since started keeping the TP in my car, which is a three minute walk from the shop, so any emergencies I am shit creek.  The off shift now thinks I'm an asshole - so let me ask: AM I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA! That’s so rude of them why can’t they just buy their own name brand stuff? Keeping it in your car is a good idea even if it’s a bit inconvenient. Maybe keep a bit of it in your pocket for emergencies.

Also side note your diction made this post a delight to read lol ######


Prompt:
Ok so during Quarantine, I (15M) get on a Discord call with a few ok my friends every night for about an hour or two.

Last night my Mom asked my to help her find her phone. So I muted myself and went to help her find it. Around 5 minutes of looking in a different room, my Mom had put ok my headphones and listened to the call.

She had made up the missing phone just so she could listen to the call. I was angry and shutdown my PC immediately and angrily, but not yelling, to give me my headphones.

She started yelling about how she was my Mother and was entitled to listen to my conversations. So this one Subreddit who likes to judge people AITA? ######

Response: NTA! that’s a huge invasion of privacy! i’d understand more if she came to you concerned about your internet activity and was worried for your safety but the clear lie and attempt to distract makes her the ahole. you’re fifteen and she has no reason to distrust you. sounds nosy to me. ######


Prompt: Mostly anxiety speaking here. I have a mentally disabled sister, physically she is an almost 40 year old woman but mentally she is about 15 months old. My parents feed her, shower her, dress her, etc. I struggle extremely with the fact that when my parents are gone, that I will have to take care of her. It kills me that she is disabled. The thought of doing all that everyday for years with disregard to my own life, I can’t handle it. There were times in my teen years that I resented her, I had to rush back home to take care of her while my parents were gone. I had no childhood. AITA for cringing at the thought of taking care of her? For not feeling anything towards her? For feeling uncomfortable at the thought of washing her? For not wanting this role? ######

Response: NTA! She’s your sister, not your child. You should speak to your parents about what provisions they’ve made for when they pass regarding her care, and that mentally you’re not capable of caring for her yourself. They need to make sure something is there and there is a set plan before they pass. That is their responsibility as her parents and her carers. ######


Prompt:
A bit of a background: we've been together for 9 years, living together for 8 years and were engaged after 7.

My SIL got engaged in October, after being in a relationship for 1 year. They are getting married this autumn. We were invited.

The problem is, when we were going to move together, she said she doesn't support our decision, and my man should "keep looking" (for another girl). I was sitting right beside them but didn't say a word, I didn't want to cause any more problems.
When we got engaged, she messaged my SO through Facebook, and said she will never be happy for us, and that he should have asked HIS parent's permission to marry me first. It was very hurtful, but I still did not say a word, I always tried to be kind to her.
We haven't met her boyfriend/fiancé until a few weeks ago she finally introduced him over Skype. My husband was a bit hurt that she never bothered to introduce them before,only months before the wedding. Anyway, after the Skype conversation, she sent another weird message to my hubb, saying that I should apologize for disagreeing with them on certain matters. My husband asked why is it only me who needs to apologise for something he agreed with and wholeheartedly supported too. My SIL said she doesn't consider me a separate person, she wouldn't address ME only the man I belong to.

I was pretty hurt after reading that (husband showed me the whole conversation), and I told him that maybe I don't want to go to his sister's wedding. She said one too many derogatory stuff to me, and I just can't continue to pretend I'm all okay with it.
He said he doesn't want to go either because he's mad at her.

However, I know he's close to his family, and I'm afraid he would regret not going to his sister's wedding. I know I should suck it up and go and take my man with me, but I feel too fed up. He's definitely NOT going without me (so he said).

So WIBTA if I didn't go to the wedding and made my husband to miss out on it too? ######

Response:
 NTA! Maybe I'm biased bc I recently cut off my brother for being horrid to me all my life, but I still think you have *every* right to not want to put yourself through this all the time, and honestly, you're not responsible for whether or not your husband goes.

If he chooses to stand by you and your relationship over her judgement, great for him, he's a good guy, confetti! Honestly, it's very precious to me. It may hurt him, too, but he clearly is fed up with her. You can ask him again if he's sure, make sure he knows you don't want him to be hurt or regret it, and that you don't mind him going, just would like to keep yourself out of it, but the way I understood it, he was already mad before he showed you the texts, and probably had his mind made up.

Support him and know he loves you so much. Nobody needs family like that, but everyone needs a partner this supportive and protective. ######


Prompt:
I met my boyfriend at the beginning of freshman year of college(I’m a junior now) and I moved into his apartment in January. I’m 5’9” and he’s 5’5”. So yes, I’m tall and he’s short and I can see how that could be a little funny at first.

But my friends have been making jokes about it for 2 years straight. Just incessantly, every conversation has to be a joke about it. I’ve told them to relax with the jokes multiple times and they never stopped.

And my boyfriends friends are so much more... I don’t know how to say it, just chill. I’ve been spending most of my time with them playing video games online rather than on the 2 hour phone calls my friends have been having.

They’ve been texting me asking what I’m doing and to call them. WIBTA if I don’t? ######

Response: NTA! it’s not a big deal! i think you should text them and tell them why you’re not hanging out with them as much but really you’re an adult and you’re allowed to decide who to surround yourself with! ######


Prompt:
Sorry for the bad formatting, I’m on mobile.

Earlier today I wanted to get pizza, and was craving me some Papa John’s. So I ordered two large pepperoni and sausage pizzas, with a shitload of garlic bread and wings. The total order came out like $40 which doesn’t include tips.

Of course, when you’re ordering that much food in these unprecedented times, I figured it’d make sense to at least tip these workers risking their lives to simply deliver pizza. Takes a lot of guts to do that in my opinion.

Normally I would just give them cash, but because of everything going on I’d figure it would make more sense to just give them an online tip, so I generously gave the deliverer a $20 dollar tip.

It took over an hour for the pizza to get there, which was way longer than usual. When the delivery-woman showed up, she had this mean expression on her. I grabbed the food and asked her what was wrong.

She unloaded on me asking why I’m tipping her electronically. She was worried the government is gonna tax her now. She prefer getting tips the normal way because of that.

I explain her that was part of the reason (along with what’s going on) I gave her $20 dollars for a tip. She simply said that she would’ve preferred a $20 dollar bill and stormed off.

That shocked me for a bit. Not only did I not expect this from an employee on the clock, but I thought I was being generous with the tip

EDIT: For clarification the order wasn’t just for me. Didn’t mean to come off gluttonous ######

Response: NTA! I work in the food service industry and even though im not working right now because of covid, im always grateful for tips. Especially when people tip at 50%. That woman was the AH not you. If it were me, id call and tell the manager. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend orders packs of wine top our door in a 30 minute delivery service we have here and has been drinking a minimum of a bottle of wine a day for the last two weeks.

For context she has previously admitted she is an alcoholic and her 2020 resolution was to quit alcohol this year. She went alcohol free for Jan and Feb then started drinking "socially" in early march.

When I asked her how much she had to drink today when i saw two empty bottles on our counter she called me controlling and said she "has it under control".

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA! Hi! I am a 24 F and my fiancé is an alcoholic.  Aside from him- addictions are common in my family. It sounds corny but doing some research on how to approach somebody can be totally helpful.

I’m sorry she shut you down by calling you controlling. I’m really sorry. It’s not you- she really just REALLY wants to keep drinking wine every day.

My little brother is addicted to meth. When I found out and told him I wanted him to stop for the first time, he told me he would hate me forever and resent me. The same thing happened to my mother, with her own sister. I’m so sorry. Addicts can be incredibly cruel. Their brain is obsessed with the prize. Thankfully- people who recover or make strides to recover usually try to take these things back and make amends.

Even if she isn’t blackout every day- a bottle of wine every day is something she depends on and clearly “needs” in her mind, if, when you bring it up for her safety, she refuses to accept it and wanted to make YOU feel bad. It’s addiction.

When it comes to alcoholics specifically- they are usually a little more coherent when confronted than other addicts. Alcoholics are more “functional” if you can call being an addict functional at all. They are really really good at running you in circles with an argument for booze.

I’ve been most successful helping my fiancé cut back and control his drinking by having calm and understanding conversations with him about what this does for our relationship, for his health, and especially his wallet. she may not be seeing the consequences to her drinking because, she’s too interested in drinking. Losing trust and being cruel to your SO is a very common consequence of alcoholism.

It may be difficult but keep trying for your loved one for as long as you can. Approach her with understanding and with her at the forefront of your mind and language and she may open up. ######


Prompt:
We’ve been together for a year now, both 20. She knows I like to play video games, and she doesn’t. In fact, she’s told me her friend destroyed her bf’s stuff after he spent too much time on the games, and that she sees why she did it.

So to what happened: Yesterday she had asked me if I wanted to come over, and I let her know that I had planned to play video games that night with a couple of friends, I also stated that I haven’t spent time with said friends in a while, and one of them is out of state, so gaming is something we can connect with.

She got mad, telling me that I don’t care about how she feels, and that all I want to do is spend time playing video games. I don’t bring anything gaming to her house, and I spend 3-4 nights of the week at hers.

I had an appointment to go to, and she had to drive. So we got in the car and she got mad, driving her car out of the driveway recklessly, and ended up bumping into an electric pole just a couple houses over. She pulls back into her driveway, and she tells me to leave, and that if I care more about video games, then she can find somebody else to sleep with, easily. I end up leaving with my stuff and she says “have fun”.

She ends up calling telling me to “be a man”, that “a man doesn’t play video games”, and threatening to sleep with other people. I told her calmly that her actions have consequences and that her actions are not going to punish me.

So everyone, AITA?

tl;dr - wanted to play video games with friends, gf gets mad, hits a pole with her car and threatens to sleep with other people. ######

Response: NTA! First of all, the fact she mentions destroying something you love is red flag one. The fact she drives recklessly when she’s mad is red flag two. The fact she says you’re not a man for playing video games, is red flag number three. You are not less of a man for doing something you love. You see her multiple times a week without playing video games. If that isn’t enough for her, then she’s TA. ######


Prompt:
My husband(38M) and I(37F) have been married 17 years. We have two children, 18M and 13F. Every few years my husband gets what I lovingly call baby fever and wants to have another child. I usually respond with "the baby factory is closed" and he drops it. It tends to only happen more when friends, family, or coworkers have babies so I didn't really take his requests to seriously.

Last year he told me he wants to have another kid but unlike the other times, he hasn't let it go. It is really putting a strain on our marriage. To him there is no reason to not have another child. We are in a better state financially than we were with the first two and have better insurance. We also own our home. Why not have another?

To me, it's another 10 months of misery. My first two pregnancies were really rough on me physically and mentally and I was in my early 20s then. I can't imagine how much harder it would be now that I'm pushing 40. Then there is the months/years of diapers, breastfeeding, sleepless nights, etc. My husband is a good father but 90% of all child care from birth to about 5 years was my responsibility.

I am firmly against having another child. My husband thinks it is unfair that I keep saying no and there is nothing he can do about it.

AITA for telling my husband no to having another child? ######

Response: NTA! “my husband is a good father” and “i took care of 90% of the childcare” are contradicting statements ######


Prompt: Yes, I am 35 and have a 10yo half-brother from my father's second marriage. I am sort of a quasi-father/brother to my younger brother, My father and his wife were not planning on having kids so they were not prepared. My brother is a really cool kid and he spends a lot of time with me and my wife. His school got shutdown and home schooling doesn't cover the "puberty" discussion. He clearly is on the cusp of puberty. His hygiene consists of a short shower, brushing teeth, rinsing and that's it. It's clear he needs to up his hygiene game. I bought a "bro kit" for his age which consists of deodorant, electric toothbrush, good body wash, facial pads, etc. He needs some, but not all thought I don't think it's ever too early to start. I already know his mom will be upset by it and question it. I know if I try to talk to her or my dad, it will go in one ear and out the other. ######

Response:
 NTA!

This is wonderful! Kudos to you for being a wonderful additional male figure in your little brothers life. This is so sweet. Give your dad a heads up, probably relate it back to something in your youth and give your brother his bro kit.

Ugh this is so wholesome, I can’t. 😩 ######


Prompt:
I posted that I have a 10g fishtank set up for sale. I’m moving and can’t bring it with.

Someone contacted me asking if it was still available. I say yes. They say great, they want to use it for a ten year old red slider turtle. I let them know that this tank is way too small for a turtle (the tank is too small for a goldfish to be kept properly honestly) and that I can’t, in good conscious, sell them the tank. They go off on me saying it “isn’t up to me” to decide how they house their turtle. True, but it isn’t up to them who I sell my fishtank to. I sent them a link to a 100 gallon tank for sale for only $75 and went about my day.

((For reference, red sliders usually get to be 12” long. The tank itself is only 18” long, 10” wide. The thing wouldn’t even be able to turn around. The recommended tabk size for a single turtle is 10 gallons per inch of length. A full sized turtle would need at least 120 gallons.))

AITA for refusing to sell this person a fishtank? ######

Response:
 NTA!

The fish tank is still in yours and you have the right to do as you please. To allow him to put a turtle in that small 10gal is honestly animal abuse! Power to you for standing your ground. I hope the right offer comes your way soon! ######


Prompt:
I a (15M) enjoy cooking and baking and have always wanted a stand mixer since it would make life easier in the kitchen and have told my mom this multiple times and had wanted one for my birthday.

As time goes on my birthday rolls around and my uncle comes to visit use and had brought me a present. I didn't open it until he left as I wanted to spend time with him and not look like a greedy child only wanting the gifts.

When he leaves I open the gift and there it was. A decent looking WHITE stand mixer (that's important for later) and was around £80 in value. I used this multiple times in the kitchen and enjoyed using it as it was a great tool for the kitchen.

A few months later I wanted to make some croissants and asked my mom. She said yes. I went to the kitchen looking for the stand mixer and it was gone. I looked everywhere for it and couldn't find it. I asked my mom where it was and she said she gave it away to charity. I WENT MENTAL

I said a few hateful words saying how stupid she for giving away MY birthday present away for FREE when it wasn't cheap. She said I was in no position to tell her what she can and cant do as it was her kitchen and apparently HER STAND MIXER. I was done at that point and asked why would she even do something like that and her answer was.

It didn't fit in the kitchen since it was white, not black.
I gave up at that point and went to sleep as I had nothing to do. And two weeks later she bought another stand mixer which was almost double the price same brand, same wattage but black. Now, since this wasn't my mixer I was not allowed to use it anymore, so now my mixer is gone and I cant even use the new one anymore

I went on another spree of saying mean words to her and she teared up, my 3 siblings say I over reacted and now I feel guilty
So AITA
(Sorry if this story was too long I had to get a lot of my chest since I was angry)
Edit:cleared up a misconception ######

Response:
 NTA!

I feel like the people criticizing you aren't understanding the entire situation. I see in some of your comments that:

- you kept your stand mixer out of sight unless you were using it, but even those thirty minutes when you're actually using it are too much for her. No one is even seeing her kitchen while you're using it!

- she gave away *your* possession without telling you. She could have at least warned you that she was going to do that, so that you could say you'll just keep it in your room or something until you move out (it still would have been ridiculous of her, but at least you would have had more of a say).

- she bought a new one for herself. When I first read that, I thought "okay well at least OP has something they can use until they move out, at which point mom should really buy them a replacement." But then you said that YOU'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO USE IT.

If this is all the case, then your mom is straight up an AH. You have every right to be mad at her but it sounds like she's incapable of seeing that she was wrong.

Plus it comes off like she's probably not even going to use the stand mixer herself, but just wants it as "decoration" (it might sound ridiculous to others but for many people a stand mixer — at least a kitchenaid one —is a status item). ######


Prompt:
Bit of context: my sister is abusive as all hell. She’s thrown me into walls and belittles me every chance she gets, and yet expects me to like her.

I got married in late July last year. My husband and I agreed to a family-and-closest-friends wedding almost immediately, since family alone was almost 50 people and it would be in his parents back yard. We also agreed that we didn’t want more than just the best man and maid of honor up there with us. I immediately asked my best friend to be my maid of honor. When I went to try on dresses it was just my mother, sister, and my husband’s sister as my best friend was out of town. On the way there, we were talking about the dress for my best friend. At this point I hadn’t even had a chance to tell my sister about the decision as this was only a week after getting engaged and I had been so busy. While talking about the styles my best friend had found for her dress, my sister asked “well is it going to look good on everyone?” which is when I had to tell her she wouldn’t be in the wedding. She was mad, which I understand. She was so cold to everyone during the dress appointment and only looked kind of happy when I found my dress. It made the whole thing really awkward. After that she wasn’t very involved in the planning. I offered for her to get ready with us on the day of the wedding and she refused and the day of she clearly wasn’t very happy and left without saying goodbye right after pictures were done. I got comments from a couple of people throughout the planning process that I should have had her in the wedding, but why would I want someone who has hurt me that badly up there with me? I keep questioning if I made the right choice. AITA for not wanting her up there? ######

Response: NTA!  Nobody is entitled to be a part of your wedding!  Even if she WASN’T abusive, she still doesn’t get an automatic pass, and the fact that she couldn’t be nice or supportive shows that you made the right choice. ######


Prompt:
I (f26) have always struggled with my identity. I live in Europe and I’m 1/4 black, 3/4 white, but my skin is darker than you would expect for being only 1/4. I found it difficult growing up because even though I am technically more white than black, my skin isn’t white, so I’ve always felt like I didn’t belong to any group and have had some very bad experiences due to my skin colour.

There is a writers workshop that is currently promoting the black community, where people can discuss their experiences. I planned to join this workshop because I have experiences I would like to share, but when I told my bf, he said it was selfish for me to join the group because I’m only 1/4 black and the group isn’t meant for me. He also said the other people in the group won’t like it.

AITA here for still wanting to join? There isn’t a limit to how many people can join this workshop, so I’m not taking anyone’s space. And this raises questions that I have had my whole life but have never been able to talk to anyone about it. What exactly am I supposed to call myself? What is it that decides whether I am one way or the other? My experiences? The literal colour of my skin? Or my genetic makeup? ######

Response:
 NTA!  Don’t walk, run to that workshop.  Go and share your experience as a mixed person.  It will be cathartic to express how you felt during the times you didn’t feel “white” enough and times like these when you don’t know if you are “black” enough.  You will undoubtedly learn from others as well.

Edit: corrected spelling ######


Prompt:
I’ll try to keep it short.

My (27F) brother (38M) is currently living in a different part of the state than the rest of his family (Wife and 2 kids). He called me the other day to tell me he’s interested in buying a house. I felt it coming that he would ask but I really didn’t expect the guilt trip.

He was approved for a loan of 150k but he would have to move further away to be able to afford a house in that range. He wants me to co-sign on a house and receive a loan in MY name for another 150k so he could buy a house closer to the family.

I’m not all that close with my family to begin with so that factor doesn’t really affect me. However, our kids are close in age and were close before the initial move so he said it would be in the best interest of them and the family to have him move closer.

My mom is 25k in debt, my father has a foreclosure on his record, and my brother declared bankruptcy a few years back. Everyone has some kind of huge negative record which is prohibiting them from assisting my brother, im the only one with a somewhat clean record. I do have some debt but not nearly as much as the rest of my family. I’ve already told him based on my income and credit I don’t think I would qualify but he’s a real estate agent so he sucked me into believing maybe I could.

My issue is I’m a single mom who is only now finding herself in the beginnings of financial stability. The idea of 150k being under my name towards a house I won’t even use is making me nauseous. I’ve always struggled with telling my family no and I know the wave of guilt is going to engulf me eventually. I don’t want the kids to be split but I also don’t want to risk my financial future. Tell me reddit, would I be an asshole in telling him absolutely not?

TL;DR: my brother wants me to co-sign 150k towards a house I wouldn’t even live in for the sake of the family. ######

Response:
 NTA!  Don't cosign, DON'T EVER DO THAT!  I'm a lawyer who represented cosigners in foreclosures and debt collection actions, and I'm begging you, for the love of God, Allah, Yahweh, and/or the Flying Spaghetti Monster DON'T DO IT!  You will be 100% on the hook if they fail to make payments, and that kind of thing can and does destroy people's lives - often.  You're not only not the asshole, you're making the only possible safe decision here by saying absolutely not.  No "family" duty should involve putting yourself $150,000 in debt!

(Pant, pant)  As you can possibly guess, I have strong feelings on this subject. ######


Prompt:
Quick things to remember
 •pregnant girlfriend
•we had a little scare 2 weeks ago which led to my girlfriend having to stay in the hospital for a total of 6 days regarding the baby.
•one of the doctors orders was to stay the least stressed possible

  I work night shifts so the afternoon started just like any other until about three hours into my shift. My girlfriend sends me multiple text about how horrible her mother made her feel when she reviled to her she was getting the tdap shot. So I simply sent her mother a text that stated “With all do respect I would appreciate if you wouldn’t stress ally out over something so trivial as the tdap shot. I trust that she will do what she feels is best for her and the baby and we all need to respect that. We value the opinions of medical professionals far more than anything that can be googled. “ which she responds with “ Listen she's my daughter and I will inform of what I wish . With all do respect . “ so at this point I’m pretty livid and sent a not so nice text next,using some profanity while reminding her of the incident we had just gone through. She proceeded to tell me how this is an issue that only deals with her and her daughter (my girlfriend). I remind her that the baby inside her daughter is also mine which makes this my issue, while letting her know that just because she is grandma, doesn’t mean she’s entitled to be apart of my sons life. ######

Response:
 NTA!

I dislike it how people want to endanger others for stupid beliefs that they read on some idiots blog! Be sure to talk to your GF about how you don't want the baby around her mother. At all. ######


Prompt:
Backstory on my boyfriend's brother is that I don't like him and he doesn't like me. My family is comfortable without being wealthy while my boyfriend's family is definitely wealthy, and the brother seems to think I'm a golddigger despite my boyfriend and I splitting everything 50/50. He is the kind of person who will ask the groom on the day of his wedding if he needs a getaway driver and tell people to get prenups at their engagement party, and I'm saying this because I've seen him do both things more than once.

I'm pregnant. It's definitely ahead of schedule but my fiancé and I are happy about it. I'm around 5 months pregnant, my fiance proposed about 2 weeks before we found out. We told his family earlier today over zoom. His mum, dad, and sister congratulated us and his brother did too, but then the brother made a joke about getting a prenup (which we are doing anyway). My fiance's sister told him to shut the fuck up and the dad said "come on now" in a reproachful tone, and then I said "just checking are you aware there are personality traits other than dickhead and edgelord?", after which my fiance's mother told me off for speaking to her son like that because he's just looking out for his brother. I asked if "I'm just meant to let him say whatever he wants, then?"

Call ended quickly after that, and now I've had messages from my future parents in law and brother in law all expecting me to apologize in order to smooth things over. Fiance says not to apologise for shit and his sister says they're ridiculous but this might be the easiest way to move on, and pointed out that I did go for him there when they'd already spoken to him.

Aita? ######

Response: NTA:. Don’t give them an apology, you have your fiancé and his sis on your side, you’re good. Dad is probably going with it because of the mom. Stand your ground. ######


Prompt:
My mother is in her 40’s, she got out of rehab for drug use recently.

While in rehab (she says) she applied to half-way houses for afterwards, the applications were denied.

She got out of rehab and decided she was going to Georgia the next morning. That night she spent a night in a hotel with a friend. I didn’t hear from her for about 3 days.  Tonight while I was working she asks me to pick her up afterwards. I ask where she wants to go and she just lays into me about how she has nowhere to go,  no one cares, and to just forget about it. Emphasizing how she has nowhere to go, most likely to guilt me into offering her to stay with me.

This was typical behavior of her when she was using and I, rightfully so, do not want her in my apartment if she is using again. And I don’t necessarily want her here even if she isn’t.

AITA for feeling this way? ######

Response:
 NTA: Your feelings are valid and you are entitled to them. It would be my possibly less than humble opinion that she hasn't reformed if she isn't acknowledging 1)how she messed up by using drugs 2) how she has wronged you specifically (making amends I believe is the term used 3) how you are not responsible for how she is treated by others. 4) you are not responsible for taking care of her 5) she is responsible for her situation and she needs to be the one to take action to get out of it.

You simply can't help her as long as she doesn't acknowledge these things. You could only enable her. Consider seeking out a support group like Al-anon once Covid settles down or find one online. There are non- religion based ones as well. ######


Prompt: My 3 best friends and I were on our way to the beach earlier today, when my friend who was driving (K) was pulled over for speeding. She has never been pulled over before so she was freaking out a bit thinking the ticket was going to be like $400 and immediately told us we would be splitting this ticket four ways. My friend S basically told her no we wouldn’t be splitting the ticket as we weren’t the ones speeding K was. I agreed  with my friend S that we shouldn’t have to split the ticket. It ended up being a $190 ticket. I told my parents when I got home and they called me an asshole for not splitting the ticket. We had already agreed to pay for gas and are actually now paying $20 each which was a lot more than it should be as a “sorry you got pulled over” bonus but I am now mixed on if AITA or not. ######

Response: NTA: You weren’t speeding. Your friend was driving and chose to speed. Always good to pitch in for gas, but speeding tickets? That’s not on you. ######


Prompt:
Ok so I'm probably TA but frankly IDGAF and I'm posting this anyways.

Backstory:My parents divorced when I was around 5 and my mom remarried instantly (I think its cause she didn't want to be alone the days I wasn't there).  I am an only child but her husband had 4 kids all around my age, so at 5 I now had "siblings" who were 6,5,3 and 2.  At first it was alright but as time went on I hated it, they would all gang up on me and it was always a 4v1.

So I spent a lot of time at my mom's and with them, they excluded me a lot saying how I wasn't one of them and it was always tense.  Our parents tried to make it work they really did, but the kids wanted no part of it and I didn't want any part of it after the constant fighting and bullying.  At 8 or 9 I started playing a lot by myself in my room.  At 14 I asked my dad if i could live with him but he had a bad living situation and couldn't afford to have me and he wanted me to at least have a good home which I respected.  After years you'd think id see them as siblings but I felt nothing but indifference for all of them cause I can't remember having a single good moment with any of them.

I moved out the second I turned 18 and I split rent with my dad, I got accepted into a GREAT college.  I don't want to give out the name but if you watch college football they are one of the 4 teams that made the playoffs this year.

Well now college is shut down and I ended up moving back in with my dad for the time being.  I was visiting my mom and I told her about the college, she was proud of me but my step sister (the oldest and 1 year older than me) asked why I didn't tell the rest of the family about me going to a good college.  I told her I did tell my family, she got confused and I told her I told my family.  She finally got that I meant not her or her siblings/dad.  She called me a dick and left the room and my mom said I was being rude and practically kicked me out of the house. ######

Response: NTA: You get to choose who you include in your family. ######


Prompt: In high school (who am I kidding all of school) I was a huge nerd. GPA had to be 4.0 or I felt sick so I obviously studied a lot. I sacrificed countless hours I could have spent having fun and hanging out with friends to get good grades. So in 9th grade biology we had a test I had studied hours and hours for cuz I wasn't sure on the material and it counted for 40% of our grade. So day of the test comes and the teacher passes it out. We had to cut out strips of paper with descriptions of I think cells and glue them in the right box. (Dont ask my why in 9th grade we were cutting out colored paper like we were in prek) so I cut all mine out and I'm excited.  I know them all! So I start lining em up on the paper. I look up and notice the guy across from me (our desks faced each other) was copying me! Like not glancing over because he wasn't sure on one thing but copying my entire test. I was livid! So I quickly rearranged all my strips to the wrong boxes and he does the same. As soon as he turns his paper in I rearranged mine to the correct answers, glued them down and turned my test in. When she returned our tests I got 100% and he got.....0% The look on his face. Priceless.  He just kept looking at my test then down at his. Neither of us ever mentioned it. So was I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA: This may have been petty, but it definitely got the message across ######


Prompt:
I’m (18) currently living with my parents since my college has been shut down. My older brother (20)  lives with my parents, too.

I’ve been staying in my old room while my parents have made the basement into an apartment-style room for my brother. Basically, he has a small fridge, microwave and bathroom down there.

I was getting out of the shower in the bathroom that’s connected to my bedroom when I got the feeling that someone was watching me. Since my parents are at work (they’re both essential workers) and my brother in the basement (or so I thought), I ignored the feeling and continued to dry off. However, I started to get creeped out, so I turned around (It’s hard to describe the layout of the bathroom, so I’ll just say that my back was to the door) and saw my brother in the crack of the door. It was only opened a little bit but it was enough to see his face before he ran out of my bedroom (note: I always close my bedroom door before I shower).

I quickly got dressed and ran after him, shouting that he was so fucking creepy and a huge pervert and I’m going to tell mom and dad what a creep he is.

He slammed the basement door closed in my face and locked it. I tried to jingle the door handle open while continuing to yell how creepy he is. After a few minutes, I ran back up to my room and locked my bedroom door, feeing so gross and violated.

Later, I was on FT with my friend and told her what happened. She laughed and said that he was probably just fucking around and trying to scare me. I disagreed but she’s convinced that I overreacted and should just prank him back.

So, Reddit, AITA for calling my brother creepy? ######

Response: NTA: This is a Class A Case of the ***yuckies*** ######


Prompt:
So some friends and i were heading to the capital of our country by train.  We knew it was going to be very hot, and we all had hoodies on. The thing is I was the only one who had a backpack with me. The other ones had small "man bags"

I said before the train even left, that i didn't want to carry their hoodies. But during the day one of my friends asked if he could take his shirt into my backpack. I said no, even though I had plenty of room, purely of of principle. The others said I was being a jerk because they then had to carry their hoodies in their hands. But I think i am in the right because i told them  I didn't want to carry their backpacks earlier.

&#x200B;

So AITA for refusing to carry a hoodie, even though i easily could have, purely out of principle? ######

Response: NTA: They could have brought their own backpacks, or just not have worn hoodies. Checking the weather is not hard. You are not obligated to be their coat rack because they didn't prepare. ######


Prompt:
Just to note - I'm a 3rd year paramedic student (in my country it's a 4 year degree). Not that it really makes a lot of difference here though.

I have a friend who's been constantly complaining for roughly 2 months now about feeling horribly sick. I believe her, especially within the past week she's looked sick. When asked about symptoms, it's all pretty vague - nonspecific generalized lower abdominal pain, malaise, intermittent fever, headache, etc.

It's every day she's complaining about being sick, and she refuses to go to the doctor because of the current events. I've just been letting her complain to me, and it's pretty annoying. I believe her, it's just overwhelming to hear all the time. It's only 10AM, and she's already started - so I told her to either go to the doctor or stop complaining to everyone. She's angry.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA: there are online appointments she could make with doctors, and i think nthat what you said is reasonable ######


Prompt:
My fiance and I have been together for almost 3 years, we got engaged 3 days before I found out I was pregnant.

He wanted me to get an abortion or give the baby up for adoption because he said we weren't ready.

I said I wasn't comfortable doing that as I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

I wasn't supposed to be able to have children so getting rid of what I see as a miracle would destroy me.

I told my fiance that he could leave, sign of his rights if he wanted to, I wouldnt hold it against him and I wouldn't go after him for child support or anything.

He had been on and off again supportive but never left. Our son is 2 months old and my fiance snaps at him, says rude things to him, etc because "he's a baby and he won't remember it" but there's a lot of anger towards the baby.

I don't want my son to be raised in a household where there's resentment and I feel like that's how it will be.

So am I the asshole for keeping my son which is causing turmoil within my fiance and for my son to be raised with a father who shows the resentment? ######

Response: NTA: That is your son. In terms of importance, your son comes first. He is your direct responsibility. It seems your fiance didn't want children and that's in his right to feel that way. Have you spoken to your fiance about his behavior? Maybe he feels trapped in the relationship or doesn't like that he is no longer your one and only. Your son deserves a family full of love, even if that family doesn't include your fiance. Stay strong 💖 ######


Prompt:
So a bit of a back story I'm a 16 year old Male and was extremely close to my aunt.

So today as of writing this my family and I were informed of my aunts will. She was a business owner and very wealthy so obviously she had lots of assets like houses, cars and many other things.

Her two main countries for trading in was spain and England, now after reading the will she has entrusted me with all the assets in spain (Villa and two other properties) and her children were not happy to say the least... they've been threatening to take legal action and what not and I pretty much responded with go ahead.

They've now told everyone In my family that I'm a greedy asshole for not relinquishing the property to them.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA: She wanted you to have it. Her children need to respect that.  It sounds like they are the greedy ones. ######


Prompt:
Hello there! I'm a very friendly person and I'll chat with anyone and I always keep things light, casual, and non-committal because I love my space and privacy.

I logged into Facebook after YEARS off and decided to join my neighborhood community group of homeowners. Afterwards, a few of my neighbors requested to add me as a friend. I had no problem with that.

We would casually chat over posts and comments, nothing ever more serious than 'Star Wars is awesome!', etc.

A neighbor who had requested me posted something about minimalism and I commented that I used to live in a tiny home and how great it was. She mentioned she and her husband did, too and we both have Huskies so we LOL'd online about how much vacuuming we have to do.

She then immediately sends me a private message (1st time she comminutes privately) and says:

'Please don't message on my personal Facebook page like you know me.'
'I have never met you in my entire life'
'You have a lot of audacity or you're just rally (sic) lonely'

I replied back 'I've obviously upset and offended you and that wasn't my intention. I'm going to unfriend you now'.

She replied back 'I already unfriended you' and I replied 'Thanks' and that was that.

I'm so baffled. I have a bit of social anxiety and I would hate to make someone feel uncomfortable. I ended up deactivating my Facebook and making my Instagram and Twitter private.

AITA here? I'm not sure what I did to elicit such a reaction from a neighbor. ######

Response: NTA: she friended you, you commented on her post- nothing at all warranting someone to get upset. My gut is telling me she has a jealous and controlling husband. Are you an attractive guy? I wouldn’t be surprised if the husband was the one who messaged. ######


Prompt:
My ex wife and I got divorced because she was cheating on me. We had one child, my daughter who is now 3. We got the divorce finalized in January and she voluntarily gave me full custody.

We haven’t been in contact since. I didn’t block her because I wasn’t planning on preventing her from being part of my daughters life if she changed her mind. Today she texted me that it would have been nice to hear from me for Mother’s Day. I responded that she’s not really a mother, she just gave birth. She got pissed off and she blocked me. I feel like I perhaps shouldn’t have said that and I went too far, but at the same time she cheated and I don’t really feel bad.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA: she chose to leave and she chose not to be a mother...she just donated her eggs to you pretty much. Soldier on and raise your daughter to be the best she can be ######


Prompt:
I own a very successful restaurant chain in my area, which I am the founder, owner, and CEO of.

I named the restaurant after my two children, and we are very well known across several states.

Problem is, years after I launched the restaurant, I had a third child.

Now that my last child has gotten older, they've realized that they are not included in the name of the restaurant.

It's also worth mentioning that this restaurant is one that school kids, as well as college kids, and adults, often frequent. PLUS, it is providing ALL of my children college tuition, as well as a little extra along the way.

Back to the gist of the story...

My last child is all of a sudden up in arms and demanding I change the name of the restaurant so that the name will include them, too.

I refused.

We have been a staple amongst the locals across several states for MANY years. They know us. They know our name. If we change now, it will only cause problems and confusion.

Worth noting again***

To make up for this, I have named several dishes on my menu after my third child so that they no longer feel excluded.

So, AITA for not renaming my old, well known restaurant after my third child? ######

Response: NTA: naming some dishes was an appropriate response. ######


Prompt:
I’m gonna keep this short because I’m getting madder by the second.

So me and my boyfriend plan to move in together after New Years. We both live at home with our families right now and we’re just too old for this and need our privacy. The big problem per the title is that his high school age sister has a dog that she got last year. Now I advised them that she shouldn’t get a dog because she’s always out with friends and will be going to college in 2 years anyways and won’t be able to take him since she’ll be so busy.

Now fast forward to now and he’s telling me in-a-matter-of-fact way that he is going to take over the dog when she leaves for college next year, when we will be living together. I do not want a dog. I don’t want to pay the deposit on having a dog at the apartment. I have had a dog my entire life and I know they cost time and money that we won’t have. Mostly him because he works long hours and all the responsibilities will fall on me. Neither of them are experienced pet owners. He’s a big dog, which I had from experience and I loved them but it kinda sucks. He’s also loud every time someone moves. I’m mad. I’m mad that this was just decided upon and I’m supposed to go along with it. I want to tell him that I don’t want to live with him if he’s bringing this dog that was never my responsibility to begin with. Is that rude?

Like I get it’s his sister’s dog and he doesn’t want the dog to be alone but there’s 3 more people in the house who can take care of him, who currently take care of him! He just volunteered! ######

Response: NTA: It is very mature of you to place firm boundaries about not wanting to take in a big dog. You know that he won’t be able to take care of the dog, and you don’t want to. So you are being mature by not allowing the dog to move in. Just insure you have a mature sit down and don’t make it into an argument. ######


Prompt:
For context : My brother and sister in law have a one year old. I have a one and a half year old.  I am a stay at home mom. My husband is doing online nursing classes and the majority of his time is filled with studying. My sister in law is working from home since the lock down (she has a desk job that is primarily done on the computer) and my brother has been staying home for the most part to watch the baby. He still works, but his hours have been cut dramatically.

Today I get a text from my brother asking if I can watch my nephew for an hour at the most while my sister in law works at home. He has a mandatory work meeting he must attend. To me, an hour doesn’t seem like a significant amount of time to watch a toddler and do your work.  Lots of people do it on a daily basis. She mainly looks at spreadsheets all day. I used to work along side her so I know what her job entails more or less. Annoyed, I indicated I thought an hour was silly, but that I would watch my nephew if he dropped him off at my house. My brothers route to work requires him to pass right by house anyways. I do not receive a response.

Befor long, my mother calls to tell me my sister in law is throwing a fit and will not allow my brother to drop my nephew off at my house.  My brother was fine with it, but she is not. She wants me to come to their house. As a result, my brother misses his mandatory work meeting so that he can stay home and watch the baby while she works from home.

My mom said she feels bad for my brother and since he is family I probably should have just gone over there. My sister in law has always been a very selfish my-way-or-the-highway type of person and I feel I should not have to accommodate her every request. If she really needed me, I offered to watch him at my own house alongside my own child.

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA: In the immortal words of Samuel L. Jackson. Stay the fuck at home.

That means you and your sisters family stay away from each other. ######


Prompt:
Girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, living together for 2, she's 20F and I'm 21F

From what I've been told she was raised in a household where it was very "waste not want not"(?) And anything that so much as touched your plate got ate, no matter how full you are.

My girlfriend lives by that, she physically can't help it, I once watched her eat an entire plate of food, despite saying she was full less than half way and then be sick and continue to eat because she didnt want food wasted.

She has been getting counselling for the last 3-4 months but progress takes time.

Her mother recently came to visit us, we told her the issue and what we're doing is very small plates.

So, she insists on cooking and dishing up and every time it's been huge plates.

Her argument is that my girlfriend is an adult, obviously true, but she can't help it.

We've talked and argued several times.

I had enough and asked her to leave, she left after arguing about how my girlfriends an adult etc.

My girlfriend is fine with it, she never had a relationship with her mother anyway.

My mother said I was an AH and said that MIL was right, we should've set boundaries and not let her cook and I shouldn't have been involved.

We tried not to let her cook and it didnt work.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA: If her mother cant respect your wishes in your own home, she is TA and needs to go. Period. ######


Prompt:
So I (F/22) at the moment live with my family. Sadly our apartment isn't huge so I'm sharing a room with my brother (18), always had. Now this might sound childish from my perspective, but it is what it is and I can't take it anymore. He pretty much has a routine - almost every day goes to sleep at around 10pm and wakes up at 7am. I usually go to bed at around midnight and sleep at least until 9am. When he wakes up, he doesn't care about anything else but himself. He opens up the curtains to the fullest (so that the light could come in); opens and closes drawers with a bang; when leaving the room, literally smashes the door; sometimes he even plays the dang music. Basically it's like there's no one else in the room. The proper way would be to just tell him, right? Tried before. He literally says: "I don't fkin care, maybe it's time to sleep less".
Now when I go to sleep (which is later than him) and he's already asleep, I literally try my best to be as silent as possible (I don't even know why I do this anymore). I could be turning on this small table lamp (so I could see things in the dark) and he'll literally start complaining. I thought about doing this thing where I act like I don't care either and when I go to sleep, I could just do the same things he does, so that he knows what it feels like. The only problem is that I don't like being mean, I'm not the type of person. Literally feel like I would be the asshole here, would I?
Also it triggers me even more considering I suffer from insomnia and I'm lucky enough if I fall asleep at like 6am and get to sleep for 3 hours. From yesterday literally started sleeping on the couch in another room... ######

Response: NTA: Id first tell your parents your plan. Maybe they can tell him its THEIR house and you both get to use it with regards to other people. But yeah its not that mean to give him a taste of his own medicine. ######


Prompt:
I used to go to a gym nearby and that closed down. I got some stuff on Amazon and have a pretty decent home gym. I have had some of my former gym members come by and use my place. I have them use it one at a time and wipe things down after they leave.

&#x200B;

There is this girl call her Karlee. Karlee a while back told some other people that I and some other guys at the gym were checking her out. And just to paint the picture she is not at all attractive and pretty overweight. I never checked her out nor stared too long. I think she honestly said it just to get attention.

&#x200B;

When she asked if she could drop by I told her, that I don't feel comfortable with having more people at my house. She started begging me, if she could only come Sunday mornings. I told her no, then next day she starts messaging me again if I have reconsidered. Flat out I don't want her in my house someone that is this much trouble at my gym will only cause more trouble in my dwelling. She thinks of me as an a-hole. ######

Response: NTA: I'd straight up tell her that the remarks made you uncomfortable and you wouldn't feel comfortable being alone with someone who felt that way about you. ######


Prompt: 2 weeks ago my wife was facing covid symptoms, she tested negitive about a week or so ago. One of her oldest friends was hosting about a 20 person party for her gender reveal. I told her we shouldn't go because she got over covid and I never had it. We would be break state curfue and social distance. I told her to simply call her the next day and say what happened and talk to her. Am I the asshole for not letting my wife see her friend's during this pandemic? ######

Response: NTA: I don't like the phrasing "not letting her go" but the sentiment is right. This woman needs to sit her behind at home during this pandemic.  People like her friend are not doing their part to help society fight the various. There is a reason that these restriction are in place, ######


Prompt:
My husband is an avid computer gamer - mostly WoW-type games. Approximately five nights of the week, he'll play games online from the time that our son goes to bed at 8:00 or 8:30 to about 12:30, so at least four continuous hours. That in itself is not at all an issue for our relationship. He spends plenty of time with me and our son, and I have my own hobbies that he isn't interested in that I engage in when he's online.

A few nights ago I was doing laundry while he was playing online, and I stepped on a toy that my son had left on the basement stairs. I fell pretty hard and dropped the basket. Luckily because of the way my weight was shifted I fell backwards rather than forwards, resulting in a bruise on my butt but I was otherwise fine. The laundry basket clattered down the stairs, ricocheted off some basement furniture, shot laundry everywhere. It was a huge racket. It woke up my son. My husband, who had his headphones on, heard literally nothing.

It dawned on me that if something really bad happened to me, my husband wouldn't know about it for potentially four hours - like what if I broke my leg falling down the stairs? So I asked if he would be willing, for my peace of mind, to just pop out of his office at the mid-point each night just to check on me. Like literally, just say hi and go back to gaming. He thinks this is a huge overreaction and a waste of time. I know for a fact that he isn't actively playing the entire time and he sometimes takes breaks to go to the bathroom or get a snack or whatever, so how is this different? AITA? ######

Response: NTA: I do it all the time for my wife, don’t see why he can’t. ######


Prompt:
I (10 M cat) was sleeping very comfortably in my owners' (36 M, 31 F) bed with them one evening when I suddenly had the urge to swat the guy with my paw a number of times and tickle him with my tail. For some reason he didn't take kindly to this, so he kicked me out of the bed, as he does many nights. He's a very mean person in this respect.

So I naturally then just do my thing. Fifteen minutes later my owners' son (3 M) comes into their bed asking if he can sleep with them. The guy tells him he doesn't think it's early morning yet, and starts to help the kid back to bed, when he notices the kid is covered in pee. Naturally he thinks it was a bedtime accident, and so takes him to the bathroom to change his pajamas, give him a bath, and gently explain that he should be more careful about going to the bathroom before bedtime, but it's ok. The kid for some reason doesn't take kindly to second bath at 2AM with really bright lights  while half-asleep, hearing about bathroom time yet again, and is very upset. After calming him down, the guy takes the kid to the couch so he could change the sheets....when he discovered there's no way the kiddo could have made such a big mess, and it clicked why the underwear wasn't even that wet.

I'll own up to it: it was me. I peed in the kids bed. I was just so angry at being kicked out of their bed! But all of this could have been avoided if he just ignored my pawing and tickling, and let me have like a third of the bed to myself with him as a toy. Really, it's on him.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA: he’s a tenant in your home and can live by your rules ######


Prompt:
I owned a really, really nice 2 door, droptop sports car when we were first together. My boyfriend has kids. I don’t. I never wanted kids but, they come along with him, so I have indulged in step-parenthood and spend time with them playing, doing sports, homework, look after them when they’re sick, surprise them with random nice things, talk to them about girl issues and life. He pays the child maintenance but I obviously spend money on the food and drink when they are here as well as a lot over birthdays and Christmas. I feel I give a lot to them.

My car was a manual. He only drives automatic. He has always pushed me to sell my car and get a 4 seater so I can also use my car for the kids. And automatic for convenience so we can both drive each other’s cars if needs be. I held firm.

BUT In the 3rd year if our relationship my boyfriend lost his job.

I sold my sexy 2 door sporty droptop to support us. It hurt and I felt I was losing a part of myself honestly but it had to be done.

We have since been carpool sharing his 4 seater little family car.

Now in our 4th year together we have had a small joint windfall. Both agree we should buy me a car.

* He wants me to get a reliable family car.
* No droptop.
* 4 seats minimum.
* Automatic so he can also drive.

In my heart I really want to have another sports car. Specifically the sexy 2 seater manual drive I had before. Only a much cheaper version.

I can probably compromise with a 4 door automatic droptop but in my price range they’re all so ugly compared to what I had and not really what I want.

AITA for being selfish and wanting my private fun car or should I be thinking of the whole family more?? ######

Response:
 NTA: edited to add a judgment

INFO what possessions of his did he sell when he became unemployed? And did he regularly leave the children in your care while going off to work/ with friends?

You sold your most prized possession to fully support him (and his kids, when he had custody of them), but it does not seem like he made the same sacrifices. It is clear you have already thought of the family and put them first, getting the kind of car you had before would just be making yourself “whole” again after the loss of your car. It sounds like he has been selfish this entire time.

I don’t understand why it is so necessary that he be able to drive your car in the first place, but if it is so important why won’t he learn how to drive a manual car? Instead you have to buy an automatic to accommodate him? And then since you’ve already accommodated him a little, now you must accommodate him more by having enough seats to fit his children in it as well!

You can drive his car, so if he wants you to drive him and his children around then you should be taking his car anyways. And he shouldn’t be leaving his children with you and going off elsewhere (other than a quick trip to the store or something), so he shouldn’t be able to pull the “in an emergency your car wouldn’t be able to fit both my kids.” It seems like he wants to set up a situation where he has ability to leave the kids with you and go elsewhere, giving you all the responsibility of looking after his own kids.

He clearly wants you to be taking on more responsibility for his children, which it is not okay that he has seemingly made this decision on his own. That should be a conversation between you two, rather then him nagging and making demands to buy the car of his choice. He does not get to unilaterally decide that you will be taking an active role in parenting his children. You knew he had children and agreed to stepmom role, but being the only person making sacrifices for the good of the family is decidedly outside of the scope of “stepmom” role. ######


Prompt:
I had to record a speech for an online course, and my newborn would not stop crying the entire time I tried filming the speech. So I picked her up and was pretty much holding her to my chest the entire time that I was filming. My s/o was at work and I had to get this video in, and the only way I could finish the filming was if I held my baby for the entire 10 minutes, or I’d have to hear her screaming in the background of my video. (And no I could not have someone come over and help me out, for obvious reasons).

Well when I uploaded the video, my classmates had to make comments on my body language and presentation of the speech that I was giving. All of the comments were saying that I was using my newborn for a better grade and that it was unfair to everyone else, how since I was holding her they wouldn’t be able to properly critique my speech, stuff like that. The comments didn’t necessarily bother me, it was more so how my professor reacted to my video.

She sort of reacted the same way as the students. She told me that I wasn’t being fair to my classmates and ended up giving me a zero on the assignment. I asked her if I could record it again when my s/o is off of work the next day, however at that point it would’ve already been late as she didn’t give us feedback until this morning which was 3 days past the due date. She isn’t giving me the option to re-do my speech because I apparently “took advantage” of having a newborn and tried to purposely use an advantage against my classmates to try and get a better grade.

Side note: all of my professors this semester were aware that I was going to have a baby a few weeks ago, as I informed them of my situation before the semester even begun. ######

Response: NTA: Contact your department chair and if they don't respond, the dean. This is getting into discrimination territory which they do not want on record if you were to go to the local paper or anything that would generate publicity. Also mention it on the end of year evaluations if your prof doesn't have tenure. ######


Prompt:
Sorry for the bad formatting, I’m on mobile.

Earlier today I wanted to get pizza, and was craving me some Papa John’s. So I ordered two large pepperoni and sausage pizzas, with a shitload of garlic bread and wings. The total order came out like $40 which doesn’t include tips.

Of course, when you’re ordering that much food in these unprecedented times, I figured it’d make sense to at least tip these workers risking their lives to simply deliver pizza. Takes a lot of guts to do that in my opinion.

Normally I would just give them cash, but because of everything going on I’d figure it would make more sense to just give them an online tip, so I generously gave the deliverer a $20 dollar tip.

It took over an hour for the pizza to get there, which was way longer than usual. When the delivery-woman showed up, she had this mean expression on her. I grabbed the food and asked her what was wrong.

She unloaded on me asking why I’m tipping her electronically. She was worried the government is gonna tax her now. She prefer getting tips the normal way because of that.

I explain her that was part of the reason (along with what’s going on) I gave her $20 dollars for a tip. She simply said that she would’ve preferred a $20 dollar bill and stormed off.

That shocked me for a bit. Not only did I not expect this from an employee on the clock, but I thought I was being generous with the tip

EDIT: For clarification the order wasn’t just for me. Didn’t mean to come off gluttonous ######

Response: NTA: a tip is a tip. Not everybody has cash on them. Every time I order online I normally tip that way. ######


Prompt:
I have a childhood friend, I don’t want to say she’s entitled but I suppose she is. She looks down on everyone she meets. Her way or no way.

Anyway, her birthday was a few days ago, and for the past few months she’s been asking me what I’m getting her for her birthday, and telling me what she wants. She also tells me the price range of what she wants cause she doesn’t want something “So cheap it hurts her eyes”.

Anyway, her birthday rolls around and since I’ve been extremely sick, and in the hospital, I couldn’t get her much. I got her an album of her favorite pop singer and a hoodie.

A few hours after my mom had brought it to her house, I get an angry call from her.

“Why didn’t you get what I asked for?! I didn’t want this at all! What’s wrong with you are you stupid?!”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get much, I’ve been in the hospital.”

“Well that’s what AMAZON is for!”

I put Amazon in all caps, cause she screamed it extremely loud.

She hangs up and I haven’t heard of her since.

AITA? I feel bad. ######

Response: NTA; she needs to be kicked down a peg. ######


Prompt:
Our house has a weird layout. My bedroom is downstairs, general living space and the bathroom are upstairs. To get to the shower, I have to walk up the stairs and through the living room. Each time I have a shower, I wrap myself in a towel and walk through the living room to go downstairs. It’s a bath sheet, it covers everything down to my knees. The only thing really showing is my shoulders.  My Dad has said things a couple of times but I didn’t know it was a real issue. Today I was walking through the living room after my shower and he glared at me. I asked what was wrong and he said, “I guess I don’t have naked women in my house very often.” I said I wasn’t naked and I have worn dresses and other outfits more revealing than a towel. He just scoffed at me.

I can’t really get a bathrobe now. But too be honest I don’t really like them, and I don’t see why I should have to get one when a towel is really sufficient for a 5-sec walk through the living room. I never do it in front of company or anything. I guess I could get dressed in the bathroom but I like to lounge a bit and do skincare and hair care in my room before getting dressed.

AITA for doing this or is he the one overreacting? ######

Response: NTA; It’s really weird that your father is bothered by this. It’s almost creepy that he’s calling you a naked woman, when you’re his daughter in a towel. ######


Prompt:
So I’m a female (23)and my period pain has always been bad (I would pass out in those first few early ones or if I don’t take meds that work for me) BUT I learnt my lesson and now it’s not a walk in the park by any means but I manage.

My sister (20) REFUSES to take the same meds when her period starts, even though time and again we (my mom and I) have given them to her and they work.

This means that she does nothing to reduce her own pain until it gets to the point of vomiting and explosive diarrhea. Then cries that the pain is terrible and no one understands or cares. (We get up and help everytime )

At this point it’s to late to expect a quick turn around time on the meds so then it is crying and vomiting and pooping bonanza.

She does not seem to grasp that she could lesson her pain if she just listened to my mom and I and took the meds when the cramping begins.

Am I being to harsh? My mother feels that we should still be sympathetic every single time but I am over saying the same thing every month.

AITA for starting to lose my sense of compassion towards her and telling her she is on her own if she doesn’t want to try prevent this from happening in the future. Her and my mom are upset that I told her that this is the consequences of not listening and say I am not being compassionate. ######

Response: NTA; it's totally understandable that you are tired of helping take care of her, but it sounds like she needs serious medical help. I think you should encourage her to talk to her doctor - maybe frame it as "Look, it's really hard for me to see you be this sick." If she's unwilling to get help, or take pain meds, then you aren't on the hook for taking care of her. ######


Prompt:
Hiya reddit, this is a throwaway account.

I'm 25f and my younger (half) sister is 22f. She's supposed to be getting married in September if she doesn't have to reschedule the date.

I was at my step-mom (sister's mom) and dad's place this past weekend for father's day. My step-mom wanted to show me the "mother of the bride" dress she ordered that had just come in because she was so proud of how beautiful it was. The dress was white and lacy and floor length. It looked like a wedding dress to me. I told her as much and she waved it off saying how that tradition was old and didn't apply to moms anyways and my sister wouldn't mind.

I didn't think this was the case, and took a pic of the dress without my step-mom knowing and later that day sent it to my sister saying "this is what your mom plans on wearing to the wedding".

My sister said she DEFINITELY didn't approve that dress and ended up confronting her mom. Now my sister is upset with her mother, my step-mom is upset with me, and my dad is pissed I took a picture behind my step-mom's back AND he's mad at my step-mom for trying to go around my sister's wishes. Step-mom is also upset she has to return such a *beautiful* dress that cost like $300 or not be allowed in the wedding.

I was just trying to watch out for my little sister cause my step-mom has done shit like this before. AITA?

Edit: forgot to mention step-mom insisted he dress was off-white, not white. I know fuck all about dresses but I know off-white/eggshell/cream is just as inappropriate. ######

Response: NTA; if stepmom thought your sister wouldn't mind, she wouldn't have been so pissed about you showing your sister. ######


Prompt:
My SIL and BIL had a....quick romance. They started dating after a month of knowing each other, got engaged after 4 months of dating and got married a month after being engaged.

They'd planned on a year engagement but wanted to move in together. (Sex. They wanted to lose their virginity. Think Westboro Baptist 'Christian')

So, they announced that they were going to get married in a week via text message. They informed my parents in law that they would use their  back yard and insisted that we all pitch in to help.

So, my hubby and his parents took off work to clean and renovat a rather neglected back yard. I was able to cut my hours to help as well.

I sewed her dress and her maid of honor gown. If those had been commissioned gowns, they'd have been 1,500 or so USD each. I didn't charge her for my time or material.

My husband bought a few thousand dollar worth of material to build a dance floor, upgrade the porch and other stuff.

Their 6th anniversary is happening soon and we got a text from my SIL. She pointed out that money is tight right now(shouldn't be but see another post about that). She asked me to please send money for the anniversary and too send money that I forgot to send for their wedding gift.

I pointed out that the gowns and WEDDING was her gift. She texted back that a dress to be worn once was hardly a good wedding present and I was a bitch ######

Response: Nta; I sew. I deliberately wore my mom’s wedding dress so that I wouldn’t put anyone through more trouble than just the dry cleaning and a few tacks. Also sentimental value. If there’s any one out there who thinks that drafting and sewing a dress, especially a wedding dress, is easy...please go suck an egg. ######


Prompt:
I'm 19, living with my parents. I have a small part time job that gets me around $800 a month, I give my parents $400 a month for bills, food and miscellaneous things around the house. I pay for my car registration, fuel and any other bills that directly involve me. I try and save as much as I can, and they know that I have a savings account. My parents are now asking that I contribute more money every month. I told them that I already give them half of the money I get, but they say that I shouldn't be saving up when the money could be used. I don't mind giving them the amount I already give them, but I don't feel like I am willing to give up more than 50% of my wage.

Edit:

* I am currently attending university. ######

Response:
 NTA; $400 is more than reasonable. But they're asking for more? And you're in college?
Wait, who's paying your tuition? ######


Prompt:
I just moved to my current apartment about six months ago. It comes with its own covered parking behind the apartments which are all clearly labeled and it's common knowledge that covered parking at apartments is usually reserved.

To be honest, I hadn't used the reserved covered parking for the first two or three months because there are a lot of one way roads and I didn't have the time to try and find my way. Eventually I figured it out and started using my spot. Someone parked there once about two weeks after I started using it so I put a note that said "Please don't park here again. It's reserved." I was able to find other parking and that was it. Lately, though, it's happening more often. I leave a friendly note and go about my day.

Today, I'm pissed. I come home and my spot is taken again. I leave a note saying, "Please don't park here. Covered parking is reserved." My neighborhood is SO congested that there is almost literally nowhere else to legally park. Plus, I pay a stupid amount in rent so I should be able to have my own freaking spot. I grab my dog and we take off to the dog park for about two hours. I come back and the car is still there. The note isn't in the same spot so I know someone read it.

I've emailed my landlord about it and they just brushed it off saying "We're put of the office at 5. There's nothing we can do" but there are signs saying reserved parking your car will be towed.

So, my question. Would I be the asshole if I called to have the person towed who keeps parking in my spot? ######

Response: NTA,tow driver here, its in your lease and you pay for it. As long as its documented in the lease you can call almost any tow company that does private property impound, and theyll tow it away at the owners expense. They knew what they were doing when they did it. When they go to the office to pick up the car their going to say every excuse to get it free, so don't feel bad. ######


Prompt:
So my background was a picture of a dog that said "what the FUCK is oatmeal" by the way my background is one behind either a fingerprint, a 15 digit code, or a face lock so to see my background you would have to look over my shoulder whick is exactly what my stepsister did and then snitched about to my father who demanded I change it because it was "traumatizing and a bad influence for her (she's 10) (just for info I'm allowed to swear but they aren't) so my dad's pissed off at me and giving me the silent treatment because I changed it to a inspirobot quote that said "spy on individuals you don't know.
So AITA

EDIT: changed the background to chesquick (cheese milk) ######

Response:
 NTA,
I can already tell how entitled your sister feels because of her precious and impressional age. Best of luck with that mess of manipulation. ######


Prompt:
My eldest daughter is in her 20s with two kids. She lives about an hour away. I still have 3 kids at home, work a full time job, etc. I do see her and my grandkids (or did before the whole world shut down) but it’s not often. Before the shut down, my daughter and I got into a fight and we’re still at a loss.

Like I said, I have 3 kids at home and work. I know my daughter is stressed and I do talk to her often. If she asks me to take my grandkids and I can, I will. However, I rarely offer because I rarely have the time or the energy to offer. This became a huge issue. My daughter recently told me that I should offer to watch her kids more and she shouldn’t have to ask. She says that she’s tired of her kids seeming like burdens. I said they’re not, but I don’t have time to watch them often. She said “You’re they’re grandma, you should want to.” I said “Maybe before you had two kids, you should’ve thought about childcare.” She got really mad and our communication since has been spotty at best.

I standby that while I love my grandkids, I shouldn’t feel guilty that I can’t and don’t want to watch them in all my spare time. She says I should.  Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA,

You do the crime, you do the time. ######


Prompt:
For my birthday I wanted to have dinner just with the two of us, no other family members were invited.

So on the night he picks me up and on our way to dinner we get a call from her. She has been out drinking with a friend and wants a ride. She could have asked her friend for a ride home or easily gotten a taxi as it wouldn't have cost much. She then over speaker phone starts saying I was the one who told you to call her (me) and make plans. My dad goes yeah but I was planning on ringing her anyway. She then starts saying about her kids (all of which are adults) that they wouldn't do that to him. Which is false because her kids did that many times when they started dating because they didn't like my dad.

So we arrive to pick her up and I am sitting in the front seat. She opens up the door and tells me to sit in the back. Nothing else was said like happy birthday or even hello. I didn't want to start an argument so I just moved to the backseat.

She then complains about how she told her friend she was out with that she was doing dinner with us and of course she couldn't then ask for a ride home.
This was untrue as he had let her know that it would just be the two of us. Then she turns to me and is all like so what's so wrong with me coming out to dinner with you guys. I repeat that I just want to spend time with my dad as we don't get to see each other very often. She then repeats about her kids and that it is super hurtful that we wouldn't invite her.

On the rest of the drive to drop her off she continues to try guilt us into letting her come with us. Luckily my dad refuses and says that she is not coming.

For context they have been together 3 years and it is a very rocky relationship. Neither myself or my brother (both adults) get on that great with her. She tolerates me but will not even talk about my brother and hates it when my dad talks about him. ######

Response:
 NTA,

You are not the asshole at all. Your dads partner sucks and I’m sorry she’s so annoying and tried to work her way into dinner plans like that.

Happy belated birthday!

I hope you had a good birthday despite the chaos ######


Prompt:
An old friend I knew from AA 15 years ago reached out  for money saying she and her husband were broke due to covid and she had already exhausted family and friends. I said I would paypal her 100 bucks. No problem.

When she got the money she then texted, thanks and by the way she was still “ bouncing” (a term meaning unable to stay clean/sober and her drugs of choice is opiates).

So of course I started texting her asking if she was ok and if she was using. I said don’t worry about the money, I just want to make sure you are ok!!!

No response.. i tried again later that night and twice the next day. No response.

I reached out to a mutual acquaintance who informed me she “got me” and was using and had almost died from an overdose last year.

I texted her one more time and said I was sending the police to do a wellness check if she didn’t respond. I was freaking out she was going to OD on money I gave her. No response.

I called the non emergency number for local police in her town and told them I was concerned about her. They asked why and I said she may have relapsed. I didn’t say on what.

So they went to her house and she was fine and then my phone blew up with indignation and threats and profanity. Blocked.

So..  AITA?? ######

Response:
 NTA,

This "friend" pretty clearly used your money for drugs, and is mad that they got caught. ######


Prompt:
Every since the age of like 16 my brother got REALLY rude and disgusting. Like I know boys can be messy but he takes it to an 11. He leaves empty boxes of food in the cupboard, he refuses to shower cause he KNOWS I hate his BO, he on purposefully brings his armpits to my nose for me to smell his nasty BO and some other stuff but those are the big ones. I fucking hate it and I tell him as such but he always says stuff like "can't take a joke sis?" "get over yourself" or "Your not in charge of me."

Hes disgusting and I hate being around him, he recently did something tho that I am even shocked by. He left a towel in the middle of my room..........BUT the towel had literal shit on it. I nearly threw up and I threw the whole towel away. I opened up a window in my room and smell is gone but thats just too far.

I went to confront him about this and all he could fucking do was laugh. (this is where I maybe the ass) I lost it and said "You are a disgusting fucking animal, can you not be a fucking dickhead for 1 day? Holy shit" I then slammed the door to his room. I didn't know but he was on the phone with mom and when she came home she took away his gaming consoles for a week for bothering me and I got 2 weeks without my phone cause I caused the fight. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA,

Talk to your parents about this. And let him know that next time he leaves a towel like that in your room it will get rubbed  all over his gaming console and controllers.
See if he  still believes it to be funny then. ######


Prompt:
I have a new roommate in a share house. There's a few of us here, all young adults.

My new roommate wants to give music lessons to children and I said no.

I said no mainly because I am uncomfortable with having children at the house. This is a young adults share house where we all study and work. We are often home during the day, have boyfriends and girlfriend's over, have sex and so on.

It seems inappropriate to bring children into this environment.

I also have noise concerns, as the rest of us are often home during when these lessons would be, trying to study and relax.

But my main issue I don't really like kids, I don't think it's appropriate for kids to be around strange adults coming and going and I don't want kids hanging around my house.

AITA for saying no to the music lessons? ######

Response:
 NTA,

Parents will probably be uncomfortable with it too, imagine turning up to your 7 year olds music teachers house to find a bunch of other people roaming around, it would be strange and unprofessional.

Roommate is better going to the students houses to teach. ######


Prompt: my wife has been avoiding me for a couple months now. I thought it was stress. I lost my job, and was fully at home for nearly 3 weeks, and she started working more. Thing is, she would be 2-3 hours late coming home from work. One night, she didnt come home at all. I felt bad for her working so hard, so I made everything here as easy as possible while I looked for a new job. I ended up getting a new job fast enough that we didnt miss a paycheck, but she was still so distant, and still working extra. on my second day of work at the new job, she left for an errand the moment I got home. We have 2 daughters (1 and 2 1/2), so I went to get them from a nap, only to see my wifes ipad open, and receiving messages. some about me, but mostly about the guy shes been seeing for the last 2 weeks. I didnt mean to see them, but I couldnt look away, and she is furious at me for seeing them. I was served divorce papers yesterday, and have been getting messages from her friends saying that im the worst for reading those. Im thinking that if I hadnt seen them, I never would have known about the other guy, and her plan to take the kids to him. so, AITAH for reading my wifes messages? ######

Response: NTA, your wife is a cheater, a disloyal coward. Just get your ducks in a row for the legal proceedings and be done with her ######


Prompt:
Bit of context: my sister is abusive as all hell. She’s thrown me into walls and belittles me every chance she gets, and yet expects me to like her.

I got married in late July last year. My husband and I agreed to a family-and-closest-friends wedding almost immediately, since family alone was almost 50 people and it would be in his parents back yard. We also agreed that we didn’t want more than just the best man and maid of honor up there with us. I immediately asked my best friend to be my maid of honor. When I went to try on dresses it was just my mother, sister, and my husband’s sister as my best friend was out of town. On the way there, we were talking about the dress for my best friend. At this point I hadn’t even had a chance to tell my sister about the decision as this was only a week after getting engaged and I had been so busy. While talking about the styles my best friend had found for her dress, my sister asked “well is it going to look good on everyone?” which is when I had to tell her she wouldn’t be in the wedding. She was mad, which I understand. She was so cold to everyone during the dress appointment and only looked kind of happy when I found my dress. It made the whole thing really awkward. After that she wasn’t very involved in the planning. I offered for her to get ready with us on the day of the wedding and she refused and the day of she clearly wasn’t very happy and left without saying goodbye right after pictures were done. I got comments from a couple of people throughout the planning process that I should have had her in the wedding, but why would I want someone who has hurt me that badly up there with me? I keep questioning if I made the right choice. AITA for not wanting her up there? ######

Response: NTA, your wedding therefore it’s your decision. I understand that sisters are supposed to be MOH, but I’m sure there are exceptions for asshole sisters such as yours. Don’t feel bad, especially since you said she wasn’t very involved anyways and was sulking about the situation throughout the entire wedding process. ######


Prompt: My step mom has been my step mom since I’ve been 5. We have a decent relationship but it’s been rocky as of lately. I caught her purging after meals for the last few months. I don’t know if it began during quarantine or I just noticed because I’m always home. My step mom has always been critical of my weight and my half sisters. She criticized us for years, but since I was in sports and stuff I was always fit, I didn’t receive it as bad as my sisters. Last night, she screeched at my sister for eating past 8pm and called her fat and that she will never amount to anything because of her lack of “self control.” She started attacking me too because I defended my sister and called me piece of shit and that I looked like a man. I ended saying that she also doesn’t have self control because if she did, she wouldn’t need to throw up after she eats. That caused a big fight between us and my dad got involved and well, I’m in big shit now. ######

Response: NTA, your step-mom has her own mental health issues going on right now and it is manifesting as her trying to control everyones weight around her. It is her own food insecurities peeking out from behind the curtain. ######