Prompt:
So my (22F) parents (50+) were in the backyard doing some gardening and planting flowers today and left the garage door open. They have a few extra of certain supplies and made a care package for one of my friends who is struggling and left it on the front porch.

They have security cameras and were surprised when the supplies went missing before my friend had a chance to pick it up. I ended up getting a call (as I do not currently live with them but will be back there in a month) that someone came by, went into their garage for a while, then came out went to the front door, tried the door handle, and then took the package and walked away. Eventually the guy came back went into our garage again for a really long time, and then left again.

I am worried that they may be planning to break into the house or have stolen something and want to post a PSA on Facebook to look out for this sketchy kid (he seems about 17-19). When I told my parents this my mom said no because they don’t want to ruin his life, but I am worried why he would spend so much time in my parents house.

WIBTA if I went against my mother’s wishes and posted the information anyways? ######

Response: NTA. I genuinely hate when people let bad people get away with things because "it will ruin their life." Who cares? They have no remorse or care for other people, so why should they be protected? They already stole from you once and will almost definitely do it again. ######


Prompt:
As if I wasn’t already the black sheep of the family!

I don’t know the deal with my parents generation and their proclivity to lying about our family tree, but I was raised being lied to until my real genetic father was dead, so I never got to meet him. Instead I was lead to believe that my sisters dad was also mine.  The truth came out as it often does, and a lot of things finally made sense.

Fast forward 20 years until I’m 32 years old, and just before my sisters dad dies, he revealed to me that my cousins (35F) real dad was his best friend in high school, and her real mom was his other sister. The younger sister gave the older one her baby and they let her believe that her aunt was her mom and vise-versa.

Now, he of all people had a solid understanding that I would relate deeply, and he had to know I wouldn’t keep the secret. However I also know he felt bad, because a couple days later, he asked me not to tell.

I told him I wouldn’t take any action until he was gone, but that I would not keep their secret from my cousin.

So, after he passed, I told his sisters that they could come clean, or I would tell my cousin the truth. (reminder that I have no real blood relation to these “aunts”, but they maintained each other’s lies throughout mine and my “cousins” childhood.)

They were argumentative, so I told my cousin.

Of course now my “aunts” hate me. However, my cousin got to meet her real father, and a half brother as a result.

Somebody I respect recently scolded me and said I was in the wrong, because it’s “none of my business” but I’m having a hard time seeing it that way.

AITA, and if so, why? ######

Response: NTA. I find lying to children about their biological parents to be one of the most disrespectful and horrible things an adult guardian/parent can do. Children deserve to know this information when they are old enough to process. Adults keeping this from children for their own selfish reasons is wrong. If I was your cousin I would be thankful that at least one person in my family respected me enough to not lie to me. ######


Prompt:
My (16F) sister (18F) and I have never gotten along. We have very different personalities and always argue. Today we were visiting someone else’s house and got into an argument there. I can’t even remember what started it. She said something and I got mad at her. We were yelling at each other and getting pretty intense, and then she said something that stopped the argument. It was basically “Go ahead and kill yourself, see if I care! I wish you’d just shoot yourself and get out of my freaking LIFE!” Afterwards, she looked horrified and tried to apologise but I ran up to my room.

This really upset me because our dad shot himself when we were little. He’s part of the reason for all our arguing. She feels really bad about what she said and has constantly tried to apologise to me, but I refused to listen. She’s said bad stuff to me before, but this is worse because of our dad. I don’t know if I’m in the wrong. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I feel like in the heat of arguments we say things we don't really mean especially with our siblings. It's almost inevitable. I've had this same exact experience happen with my sister and me as well at another person's house. Yes, in front of our parents. Its embarrassing looking back on it, but it's important as long as you two make up then things will be okay again. ######


Prompt:
Long story short: My former roommate and I had a lot of issues. We're friends, but by the end of living together, I almost couldn't stand her. She expected me to be her mom - I bought all the groceries, cleaned, etc. She only paid 1/3 of the rent, and she has the maturity of a  teenager.

Living with her was detrimental to my mental/emotional health, my relationship, and my finances. She moved back in with her parents when the lease was up. I remained at the same apartment.

She's been begging me for the last few weeks to let her move back in because her situation at home isn't great. I've said no.

Today, I found out that she's living in her car, and I feel like an AH but I also don't want her to move back in. ######

Response: NTA. I feel for her and her situation. But you have to put yourself and your health first. ######


Prompt: My (22 F) family is very religious, I am not but I respect it . I am the only child that still lives at home. We are not a close family but we do have weekly dinner’s where my other two siblings come to (25 M) (30F). My mother (65 F) uses this weekly dinner to insult me during her “prayers” before dinner. Think “Dear God please help us for SOME members of our family are cold and heartless” and “Dear God please help SOME of us for being evil”. I usually interject and say that a prayer is not the time to insult me. Then she says that’s what prayers are for and it’s rude to interrupt a prayer. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I dont think theres anything wrong with defending yourself. Also to me that's not praying, its using religion as an excuse to be nasty. ######


Prompt: He threw a fit after me and my mom were cleaning my sisters room, and I accidentally dropped a glass. He then unloaded the dishwasher, re-arranged the kitchwn dish layout, and moved my moms cups to a place where she can barely reach them. I sent him that, and he responds "They where there for half the time we lived here" I go "Well it hurts her back to get them, and she shouldnt have to climb to get them. I get payed to do the dishes, she does them 2/7 days a week, and he does them once a month, if that, and me and mom do 97% of cooking. ######

Response:
 NTA. i dont give a fuck who pays for the house, whoever cooks and cleans the kitchen most of the time, the kitchen belongs to them.

Also, u getting payed to do the dishes? ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year and half now. Bloodwork came back all great, sperm analysis came back great. There are a few more diagnostic tests I can have done, but COVID has thrown a wrench in those plans as of late.

My mother in law is a newly graduated sonographer, but DOES NOT work in an OB/GYN setting. She does diagnostic work for veins, the heart, kidneys (I'm probably describing her job poorly) - but she does not work with the uterus, fertility, at all, whatsoever, period.

She is understandably impatient because she wants me to "get pregnant already" (all 3 of her children were not planned) and every time she sees me, she has a new BS diagnosis for me that she likely read online. So she is CONVINCED that my uterus is fucked up and backwards, upside down, etc. you name it - and won't stop asking me to scan my uterus and what not. But ... I really don't feel comfortable having my anatomy looked at - MUCH LESS DIAGNOSED from someone who is not a doctor and does not specialize in this field.

I know she means well, but I really wish she'd stop acting like I'm broken. ######

Response: NTA. I don’t use strong language very often here, but tell her to fuck off. Your uterus is your business, not hers. ######


Prompt:
Hi all,

I’ve worked as a swim teacher for 6 years, and due to this, have seen all sorts of disabilities/mental illnesses in my students. I’m not a mental health professional, but I have had training in recognizing certain crises and how to teach kids with autism/ADHD/etc.
I have a class at the busiest time of day, when it is extremely loud and crazy. It’s hard for even a neurotypical kid to focus. Additionally, this class is at max capacity, which is hard for me to manage and give attention to every student.

One of the children in this class, “J”, is 8 years old. There’s nothing on his file about any sort of mental problem. If the disability is serious enough, the parents are strongly encouraged/required to have their kids in private classes so that they get the attention they need.

J is almost completely nonverbal, and cannot focus. He is also in a level that is way too high; he can barely float on his own, and the other kids can swim by themselves in this level. He has sensory problems, as he often covers his ears and freaks out when it gets noisy. He shouts at the other kids for getting too close to him, and generally I feel he hasn’t learned anything.

I decided to talk to his mom about this. I told her that I thought he should move to a different time, and consider getting a private class. She defensively asked why. I said J had trouble focusing and he needed extra attention. Growing more angry, the mom asked why I thought that. I said he seems to have some extra mental and sensory needs that weren’t met in this class.
She immediately flips, yelling that I had no right to tell her what her child needed, and that he was completely ‘normal’. She was irate and told me that I wasn’t a doctor or professional so I should keep my opinions to myself.
I got in trouble with the higher ups as she complained, but I just wanted to know if I was in the wrong here. ######

Response: NTA. I don’t think “mental issues” is the right way to say it, but it sounds like that’s not how you worded it to his mom. Seems like you’re looking out for his best interest. It’s your job to keep the kids safe and teach them, and you can’t teach everyone if you need to spend the entire class with him. It’s not fair to him OR the other kids. Mom is in denial and needs a serious wake up call. If she doesn’t seek help for his sensory needs now, how TF does anyone expect him to grow up into a functioning adult? ######


Prompt:
So I’m 6 months pregnant and I was talking to my friend who has two kids on the phone today. She asked how I was doing and I mentioned that my feet were really hurting today, and she said I should get my husband to rub them.

I told her that he doesn’t like giving foot rubs, and I usually use a baseball and roll my foot on it. She said something along the lines of “so what if he doesn’t like foot rubs, you’re pregnant, he should be giving them”. I said again he doesn’t like doing it and gets annoyed when I ask too often. He gives them once in a while.

She said to play up how much it hurt, whine all the time about how much my feet hurt, maybe cry when he says no, and she said that’s what she did when her husband didn’t want to give foot rubs. I thought it was sort of manipulative to do that and I said that it’s kind of unhealthy to be doing that kind of thing, either he’s going to do it or not but you shouldn’t be faking pain to have him do it.

She then got mad and said it’s not unhealthy, she was just doing a little harmless acting, and not to judge her relationship when I’m the one complaining about my feet(which she asked how I was doing in the first place).

I told her I didn’t really feel like talking anymore, and she then said I’m not the judge jury and executioner on what a healthy relationship(I don’t know that the phrase really works here but that’s what she said)is and to stop being so self righteous.

I’m wondering if I just should have let it go from the beginning, because she’s not usually so... combative so I think I must have crossed a line. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. I don’t necessarily disagree it would be nice for your husband to get over himself a bit more (or for you to ask, idk if he actually says no). You are pregnant, after all, and I’m sure you don’t like all the struggles that come with it any more than he would like giving you a few more foot rubs and stuff.

You should be in this together, and the bulk of it falls on you already, so it sounds unfair and not like the healthiest relationship if you feel like you should take on all of it so he’s not bothered. Then idk if he really just has a thing against foot rubs and he’s caring and generous in every other way, but just pointing that out.

What your friend does is definitely manipulative and immature, anyway. Messed up, childish, and totally something that you had every right to call her out on. ######


Prompt:
Posting this for my sister! We’ll call her Maggie.

31 years ago Maggie and her twin brother were born to our mom, and her birth father, (John) walked out on them and our mom. Our mom didn’t seek child support or custody, as John left the state and dropped all contact. He was an addict and had no interest in being a father.

A few years later, our mom met my dad and they got married, had me, and my dad helped raise Maggie and our brother.

Again, my mom never received any child support from John.

A few years ago Maggie found John on Facebook and saw she had other siblings from him so she added them and John on Facebook to try and get to know them. She’s not close with John, but she’s spoke with him off and on to wish him happy birthdays and holidays etc.

Because of what’s going on in the world, everyone here got a stimulus check. Today, John messaged Maggie and said “tell your mom your welcome” and when Maggie pressed him, he said “she got 850 from my stimulus check. When you were little she wouldn’t let me see you so I wouldn’t give her money.”

Let me stress, our mom didn’t get any extra money. So whatever money he’s talking about, we didn’t get anyway.

Maggie was shocked and said “I should thank you for not supporting us?” And he blamed our mother for that.

Maggie said “sorry but I don’t agree. No matter the circumstance a parent should support his children. Mom never bad mouthed you and I understand you had a hard life with addiction and jail. But don’t expect gratitude for the government taking money from you because you didn’t do the right thing 30 years ago.”

It’s been a couple of hours but my sister is now worried she was an asshole to say that to him.

So, Reddit, is my sister TA for saying this to her birth father? ######

Response: NTA. I don’t know where the $850 he thinks he deserved went, but without formal custody and child support order in place, nothing went to your mom. ######


Prompt:
My wife (33f) and I (43m) have three kids from 3 to 10. She is a stay-at-home mom because I make enough money to support the whole family, she prefers not to work, and she wouldn't make enough to cover daycare for the preschoolers if she worked.

Anyway, even before my job went to work-from-home, she put minimal effort into taking care of the house, and more often than not, we would eat out because she didn't want to cook, and I'd often get home too late to cook myself. Most days I'd come home to the house an utter wreck, with clothes, toys, food, and trash from one end of the house to the other (she usually fed the kids on the sofa while she played on her computer). I'd clean the house as best I could with the limited time I had, only to find the house trashed the next day I got home from work.

Now that I'm working from home, I'm doing practically everything. Preparing every meal, changing the 3yo, teaching 10yo, cleaning house, doing virtual Taekwondo with the kids, baths, bedtime, on top of working 40 hours a week. Many days she won't even get out of bed, just getting her laptop from her nightstand and playing her online game (often expecting me to bring her meals in bed). If she does leave the bed, it's to go sit at the desk and play. She literally plays her game from when she wakes up until she goes to sleep.

I'm overwhelmed, overworked, and tired. There's no physical disability keeping her from taking care of thing, although she does have a learning disability and Asperger's.

I'm at the point of shutting off and/or severely limiting her Internet access during the daytime to get her off the computer, pay more attention to us, and do things around the house. But, she's a grown woman, so part of me feels that putting child safety restrictions on her computer would be infantilizing and demeaning.

So, WIBTA for shutting down my wife's ability to play her online game to get her to help me take care of the house and kids? ######

Response: NTA. I don’t know that this is the best way to deal with your problem, but clearly you have to do something because you basically have four kids now and no partner. It is possible that she’s just being lazy, but it sounds like there’s something very wrong here. She needs to speak with her doctor if she’s not getting out of bed. Did she used to be more active? ######


Prompt:
I am 16 and I am FTM trans, my parents know about this but deny it. Say they need more proof before they accept it.

One of the things I have never done is shave my legs. Although my mom always calls me a slob, disgusting and every name under the book. Last night she called me the most disgusting human being for no shaving my legs and I snapped at her, telling he I will never ever shave my legs and she'd have to tie me down to a chair and do it herself if it ever happened. This made her in turn call me a selfish brat who doesn't care about anyone but *her*self, and I would never get anywhere in the real world with how I act. ######

Response: NTA. I don’t care what gender you are - your body, your body hair, your business, period. ######


Prompt:
My friend has had a crush on me for years now and knows that I do not reciprocate the feelings and nothing will ever happen between us.
I generally feel uneasy and uncomfortable with people saving my pictures on their phone as I find it really creepy.
A few months ago I found out he did that and even put my picture as his phone wallpaper and even whatsapp wallpaper. We got into a huge fight and he agreed to delete them off his phone and change the wallpaper. Now I found out he has my picture as a “home” wallpaper not the lock screen one. When I got mad about it he got defensive and said its just the lock screen so no one will see it. I know this seems really silly and stupid but from my pov we agreed on this topic awhile ago and its such a boundary issue.
Am i overreacting? Aita? ######

Response: NTA. I don't want anyone to have my face as their phone background honestly. totally weird for him to do that. it seems like this dudes got some serious feelings for you and maybe reconsider the friendship if he seems this hung up on it ######


Prompt:
Sorry for formatting, also English is not my first language.

Throwaway cause she knows my username. I know the title sounds bad.

I (f, 20) have had a boyfriend since 2018, pretty damn healthy relationship. I'm also bisexual with a preference for men.

Basically a few days ago a gay girl (f, 19) told me she liked me. She knows that I'm bi. Our conversation went something like this

Gay girl (gg): Listen here, (my name), I have a crush on you.

Me: Okay? But you know that I have a boyfriend.

GG: That's all you're going to say?

Me: Yeah? What am I supposed to say?

GG: Don't you like me back?

Me: No. You know I'm okay with my relationship.

GG: But you said you're bi! ((((here she started getting mad))))

Me: I am bi but my relationship is healthy and I don't have any feelings towards you

GG: ((((started yelling things I didn't understand and that I'm homophobic))))

Of course after that I hung up without saying bye. Yesterday her friends started messaging me that I'm an asshole for not giving her a chance. I don't want to give her a chance cause I'm happy and I tried explaining that but they still insist that I'm an asshole. After her friends started messaging me I called her and told her to tell them to stop that because thats fucking harassment. She said they were not going to stop so I told her that I don't even like her as a person right now.

so reddit

AITA for not liking a gay girl? ######

Response: NTA. I don't understand why people are calling you an asshole for not cheating on your boyfriend. It seems like they might be playing on the AWFUL stereotype that everyone who identifies as bi is a cheater. Also nobody should shame you for not being attracted to someone. ######


Prompt:
My mother has this habit of asking me questions with no context behind them and then getting mad at me when I give her what she deems as the wrong answer. For example, she asked me this morning if I wanted to come to the grocery store with her, to which I said no. She then got annoyed because she didn’t want to go alone and wanted help with the shopping - something she never mentioned in her question.

I decided to confront her about it because I normally don’t and this happens way too often, and I said that she shouldn’t have given me a choice, and when I said no, it was unfair of her to get mad. She should have said something like “would you come to the store with me because I’d like help with the groceries?” I told her this and she just shut me down again saying that she can never get anything right and that she can never win.

Am I the asshole for thinking she’s being stupid and am I the asshole for finally calling her out? ######

Response: NTA. I don't think she's being stupid, though. I think she wants to be a victim and play martyr. ######


Prompt:
I recently made an online clothing purchase, which I was really excited about. I expressed my excitement to my boyfriend while the package was in transit. Once it arrived, I put on one of the shirts and sent a picture to my boyfriend. He responded “wtf is that?” With laughing emojis and when I said “wow” back, he responded with “you can’t be serious right?”

I expressed to him that I was upset about what he said. I suggested to him that instead of making rude comments he should just say I look nice (even if he doesn’t think so). He seemed baffled at this request and asked if I wanted him to “just be a fake person”.

He tried to clarify that he didn’t mean I looked ugly, only that he didn’t picture me to wear something like that. He said I was overreacting and that I “love to make arguments out of nothing”.

So, AITA for being upset over something so small? ######

Response:
 NTA. I don't necessarily think that the solution here is for him to say you look nice, but he certainly shouldn't have made fun of you and belittled you like that. Him saying you make arguments out of nothing is a deflection because he doesn't want to admit he was being insensitive.

Of course, I suppose it depends on what the shirt was... if it was actually a Barney costume or some sort of thing that looks like it could be intentionally absurd, that would change my answer. ######


Prompt:
We just moved in to our neighborhood and our neighbors across from us have young child (around 4 years old). Every morning before the dad goes off to work he honks and horn and the little kid yells “BYE”. This happens anywhere from 7:45-8:30 every morning before work. This wakes myself and my fiancée up every single morning as our bedroom window faces their house that’s only 200 ft away from our ears. We roll our eyes and groan and then fall back asleep.

My fiancée and I had a discussion about this and while we think it’s adorable in theory it’s still super annoying. AITA if I politely confronted them or left them an anonymous letter?

TLDR; neighbors honk horn early in the morning to say bye to their kid, AITA for being annoyed? ######

Response:
 NTA. I don't know that your neighbors are intentionally being A's either, it seems like they're trying to be cute and might just be unaware of the volume. But because I personally don't think you should be proactively making any outside noise at all prior to like 9 AM, I've opted to go with NTA. Someone in my old neighborhood tried to fire up a weed-wacker at 7 AM one day, and I'm not going to say I screamed out the window for them to stfu, but I'm not going to say I *didn't* either.....

If you give them a heads up politely and tactfully (moreso than what I did) you would not be an A and you're not the A for being annoyed by it. If they opt to continue doing it though for their kid's sake, you might just want to invest in ear plugs rather than die on this hill. Good luck! ######


Prompt:
Hello,

I am female and 18 years old. Currently I am working part time as a waitress while attending High School. My sister (20) has depression, epilepsy and a trauma which is causion something called dissociation. Because of this she can't go to College or work anymore. She is living with her boyfriend.

My mother and my father (they aren't together) are giving her money monthly.
My mom always tells me to give my sister money because she can't work and has no income.

Maybe I am just the A but I don't want to give her money. I am not one if her parents and not resposible for her. I work for my own money to afford my clothes, sometimes food, going out with friends and stuff I'd like to buy.

My mom is often mad because of this. Her reason is: "You are working and you have money. She can't work so help her."

My dad doesn't know about this.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I don't imagine you have much spare income as a part time waitress. Your sister has two parents and lives with her boyfriend. It's not reasonable to expect you to give her money. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway as I feel this is so ridiculous and don't want it on my main account.

I recently ordered some new clothes and one of them is a top with a love heart on it. The love heart is coloured in 7 different colours making a rainbow look. I got it because it looked bright and cheerful.

Today I came downstairs wearing it and my husband asked why I'm wearing a rainbow top when I'm not gay. I told him you don't have to be gay to like rainbows but he got annoyed and said he wasn't going out with me in public wearing it as people would think I'm a lesbian. I told him if people think that then I have no problems with it and that I was wearing it whether he liked it or not. In the end he refused to come out shopping with me and has been acting like a toddler who's taken a tantrum since I got home.

He made similar comments when I got a pixie cut 3 years ago which I absolutely loved but I've grown it back since as he said he wasn't attracted to me with it. Apart from that he never makes homophobic comments and seems to have no problems with gay people. ######

Response: NTA. I don't even have words for what a ridiculous child your husband is acting like. Throwing a fit over a rainbow t shirt is both controlling and homophobic. He does indeed have a problem with gay people if the thought of anyone mistaking you for one throws him into a tizzy. ######


Prompt:
Over the last couple weeks, I’ve seen chalk drawings pop up on the sidewalks. Nothing wrong with that and some of the “art” is encouraging like little “obstical courses”.

However. This afternoon I came outside to see someone drew a huge cross in chalk on my driveway along with #HeIsRisen and Happy Easter. I took out my hose and washed the away the chalk drawing and then took my dog for a walk.

When I came back, as I was walking up my driveway, one of my neighbours came out and said “excuse me, is there a reason you ruined my daughters drawing?” I clarified wether or not she was talking about the chalk drawing on my driveway and she said yes and that she daughter spent almost an hour on the drawing and was just trying to spread positivity and celebrate Jesus.

I said that I was sorry that I upset her daughter but that it was my driveway and I didn’t agree to have someone draw on it especially when it was a religious holiday I Don’t celebrate (I’m Jewish but don’t consider myself religious).

She then went off an started calling me things like “anti religious, a miserable asshole and a horrible person.” I tried to tell her to calm down and stop verbally assaulting me. She then told me that I will regret washing away her daughters picture, flipped me off and walked away.”

was I the asshole here for washing away the chalk?

Edit: just found out she has two daughters 13-15 so neither of them are “little” girls. ######

Response: NTA. I don't care if it was a treasure map to a pot of gold, respect the property lines. ######


Prompt:
I'm (28,m) gay, and my friend, Sara (23,f) is a good friend of mine. She's pretty and quite popular etc etc and it got to a point where she had to file restraining order for TWO stalkers. I've known her for a while now and she's a good friend in general. One day she asked me about my type of man I'm attracted to. I told her that I'm attracted to people who's shorter than me, confident and funny. She said "oh! Just like me but with penis." we laughed it off for a while, but for couple of weeks, she keeps repeating that my type is basically her but as a man, and I'd totally date her if she's a man, which got me uncomfortable. I see her as my sister.

And during a dinner (this was months ago) with my other friends, we talked about our dating life and she told my friends that " OP won't be so lonely if she's a guy because I'm his type". I texted her when we got back home and told her that all of these "you're my type" thingy kinda makes me uncomfortable. She was confused and asked why, and insisted that it's true, she has all of the trait that I would get attracted to if she's a man.

I told her even if it's true its weird for you to repeat it. She said that its weird for me to get weirded out by this and asked me to stop assuming things and just see it as a joke. She later got pissy because "she can't even joke around anymore" and ended the chat.
We never speak about it again.

I talked about this with my siblings if I did something wrong and I missed it. Sister #1 told me that I'm overreacting and it left a bad taste in Sara's mouth while sister #2 agreed with me that she would feel uncomfortable too and there's a possibility Sara liked me. Sister #1 told me that I should probably apologize and just get over it if I value the friendship while sister #2 said that I did nothing wrong at all.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. I do think your sisters are missing the point. They seem focused on whether you SHOULD have felt uncomfortable....when what matters is that you did, and Sara didn't respect that feeling. All she needed to say was "Oh sorry, just meant it as a joke, I'll stop".

At least it sounds like she has stopped. ######


Prompt:
I just wanna say that I have nothing against this guy and I want to help him where I can. But as of lately, what I thought was a one off thing has turned into probably around 2 or 3 times a week now.  This guy who happens to be disabled (visually impaired I believe) comes by my workshop and asks to use the toilet.

We only have one toilet available so it’s just common courtesy to keep it clean and hygienic.

He does his business and I go in about 30 mins later and find the toilet is an absolute mess. Shit all on the bowl and just stinks. He leaves as quick as he came in and I’m stuck with his artwork.

A few days later same thing, asks to use the toilet and because of his disability I allow him. Came back a bit later and it’s the same deal. Piss and shit everywhere.

Today he comes in again I allow it again. I assume he went for number 2 again because he was in there for a while. Bit cleaner this time but fkn stunk out the joint.

Now i personally wouldn’t go into some randoms shop/house and nuke their toilet. And I’m kinda at the stage of saying no to him now because I don’t know him (and it’s gross cleaning up after him). But I don’t want to be a dick and say no and he ends up soiling himself.

WIBTA if I stop the disabled guy from destroying my work toilet multiple time’s a week? Or is there a better alternative to this?

Edit: sorry I should’ve mentioned he is a random off the street. I see him walk around locally so I know of him, but don’t know him personally.

Also we only have 2 toilets, 1 male 1 female ######

Response:
 NTA. I deal with a very similar situation where I work. A disabled girl regularly comes into our store to hang out/occasionally buy something. She's nice enough and isn't really disruptive so we don't mind when she comes in.

However when she uses our bathroom it ends up exactly the way you describe. So now we're at the point where whenever she comes in, someone immediately runs and puts an "out of order" sign up on the door with a cone in front of it so she doesn't try to go in.

It's worked well and we haven't had an incident with her for a long time. Maybe something like that would work for you if possible? ######


Prompt:
Basically, on Sunday my dad celebrated his birthday with some friends at dinner, and my mum was there as well. She English and we live overseas, where I was raised and my dad was born. Let's say the country is Spain and the language is Spanish. We only ever speak English at home and she's only ever spoken English at work. She sort of speaks Spanish but not very well, and she's got dyslexia which make language acquisition difficult for her. Everyone at the table spoke fluent English anyway, so it shouldn't have been an issue.

At some point late in the evening, my mum was chatting to my dad's friend, and out of nowhere said friend says 'If I were you I'd be ashamed and embarrassed of myself for not speaking Spanish'. My mum was visibly uncomfortable but didn't say anything. The friend went on to begin saying something about how many years my mum has lived in Spain, but I got annoyed and interrupted her. I told her that my mother had nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed of, that she's hard working and has been busy supporting her family and raising me, so she really hasn't had time do something which she already finds very difficult (my mum is not secretive about her dyslexia at all, so I knew this was something which I would not be crossing any boundaries by saying).

I feel like I sort of killed the vibe. My mum was visibly relieved (and I know confrontation makes her nervous, so I really did feel the need to step in and ensure she wasn't in an uncomfortable position). My dad's friend apologised and everything, but I just have thing nagging feeling, like I did something I wasn't meant to. I didn't call my dad's friend any names of raise my voice; my tone was quite pointed, of course, but hardly unkind - probably more assertive than anything else.

This has been bugging me, so I really do want to know what you all think. Guys/gals/pals - am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. I could go into why but seems pretty clear cut. ######


Prompt:
My hubs (50M) and I (42F) purchased our first home a few months ago. I do the grocery shopping, cooking, dishes, mopping, sweeping, and bathroom counters. He does the vacuuming (when he remembers), the showers (maybe every 4 weeks), and the toilets (every week). I frequently have to remind him to get his chores done and there are small projects around the house that still aren't done.

We got a battery powered lawnmower which I have never used. A few weeks ago, I asked him to teach me how to start the lawnmower in case I need to know how it use it to cut grass. This last Monday, I had the Memorial Day holiday off and we lounged about and had a great day. I work full time from home and am taking an intense master's degree program and loved having a day away from work and my textbooks.

About 6pm, he says he's going outside to do some work. I brew myself a pot of tea, grab my Kindle, and snuggle in with my dog on the sofa to read. Ten minutes into this, he come into the room and says "Hey, I'm going to cut grass, come out." I replied "I'm good. I'll come out next time." He says, "Just come out." I said back "I'm settled in and comfy, I'll go out next time."

He says fine and then leaves the room. He turns around, storms in the room, and says "Get the fuck up and stop being lazy and childish!" We had an argument that no one talks to me like that. And that he's been lazy and childish as well and that I don't talk to him in that way. Things were settled and life moved on. However, in the last 4 days, Hubs has done SO much around the house. Chores, small projects, things that have been waiting for him to do since we moved in. I know this is out of guilt because he called me lazy and I called him on it.

Should I let this go? WIBTA to bring it up? I am still hurt that he lashed out at me and called me lazy when I do most of the chores and have to remind him constantly to do his. ######

Response: NTA. I can’t believe he had the audacity to say that to you considering how hard you work. He probably is feeling guilty, and rightfully so! I think if you approach it calmly, it’s probably good to talk with him to figure out where that outburst came from. ######


Prompt:
For the past few years, I have been against having kids. I hate the thought of getting pregnant and it absolutely terrifies me. My parents have always hated me for that, but I can't really do anything about it.

My sister, on the other hand, is desperate to get married and desperate to have children. She has a few chronic illnesses though. Now that she has a boyfriend she's been getting ready to have kids. Researching the best part of our city to have kids, looking at preschools, etc.

Due to her chronic illness, she spoke to a doctor that told her that childbirth is possible for her, but the best route is adoption or surrogacy.

When she expressed to me that she expected me to be her surrogate, I told her that I didn't want to be her surrogate. I'm a healthy person, but pregnancy comes with too many health risks that I don't want to deal with our face, and I don't think I could handle the pain of labor and childbirth.

She insists that as her sister, I should be willing to step up.

Now I feel kind of guilty about the whole thing. She upset with me now. I want her to be happy but I don't think I could be a surrogate.

So, WIBTA? ######

Response:
 NTA. I can't imagine my reaction if someone told me they 'expected' me to be their surrogate. WTF.

Also just FYI--people who haven't given birth aren't usually allowed to be surrogates. ######


Prompt:
I feel rather childish about feeling so jealous of my sisters birthday and know that as an 18 year old I should have more control over my emotions. Yet I have this petty feeling that celebrating her birthday is unfair since we never celebrated mine. I turned 18 this year and instead of doing anything with my family my dad went to Mexico, my sister locked herself in her room, and I sat alone at home and ate cake in the dark.  I was expecting to just celebrate it when my family got back but whenever I’d bring it up my dad would alway ask to do it later and remind me I got a big gift card for Christmas so he’s not going to get me anything (I have an early January birthday).  The gift thing wasn’t a problem since I didn’t actually ask for anything but when he finally agreed to celebrate my birthday he was intoxicated my sister left as soon as she got food to eat in her room and I ate in my room since his intoxication was super triggering.  I feel like I lost my last chance to celebrate since I’ll be in college next year and am still really upset about the whole thing.  I’ve brought it up with my dad a couple times but he didn’t seem to get it and now I’m worried that I’m gonna be an asshole when the inevitable feelings of jealousy and sadness come up tomorrow during my sisters birthday.  Would it be unreasonable to leave the room if I’m starting to feel the negative emotions or should I grin and bear it?  I made her a cake and now kinda just wanna not be a part of the celebration.  I feel like either way I’ll mess things up and idk what’s the least dickish way to go about this.

TLDR:  am I the asshole for not wanting to celebrate my sisters birthday after not having mine celebrated?

(Sorry if the spelling of grammar sucks I’m super dyslexic) ######

Response: NTA. I can't believe you even made cake for your sister. She doesn't deserve it. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend and I have had arguments about how much time I spend on my phone instead of paying attention to him or the thing we’re doing together. I get that. I’ve worked on it. Today, my boyfriend sat me down and said that I’m spending too much time talking on the phone with my mom and sister about stuff that doesn’t matter when we’re walking tv or doing things together.

My family is notorious for their long-winded conversations, but I try to keep conversations down to about 15-30 mins. I get how that can be annoying but I live with him! We aren’t working right now and are glued at the hip from the moment we wake up. All we do is hang out!! Surely I couldn’t be in the wrong for spending 2% of my day talking to my FAMILY!!!

So tell me, am I the asshole for giving my family a little attention when we’re hanging out? ######

Response:
 NTA. I came from a family similar to this and it is seriously the best way to bond. I felt like true, while it could be annoying that you spent a ton of your time looking at the phone while spending the time with him, but in this situation, you were talking to your family.

Even when you're talking nonsense to each other I felt like your boyfriend should have been more understanding. Serious boundary talk should actually happen between the both of you as if it were me; I'd be furious at him for saying such nonsense. ######


Prompt: So, recently I learned just how homophobic my brother is. It turns out he repeats that “gays go to hell and are bad” to his CHILDREN. I am a pan/bi guy, and this shocked me seeing how he was only a little on the “gays are bad” side until now. I have reinforced it in my niece and nephew that what he is saying is not true nor is it good. His blatant homophobia has caused my niece, a usually sweet girl, to call people gay or lesbian as an insult. I, again, have tried to reinforce it to her and telling her that calling someone gay or lesbian as an insult is not very good. All of this has caused me to hate my step-brother and his wife due to this. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. I am surprised you have not cut contact for this. ######


Prompt:
For background we have been together for 4 years. Largely very good except for this one issue.

This has been an issue for literally a year. My boyfriends breath sucks.

I first brought it up lightly this time last year. He said he would brush better. Nothing. Two months later I bring it up and asks if he brushes his tongue. He said he would start. No progress. Three months later I said its really starting to turn me off and it was fine for a few days then came back. This went on until now.

Last week I brought it up and he said that there was nothing he could do because he brushes twice a day and maybe its all in my head because no one else tells him? (Wtf) But all his friends live out of town so he only games with them online, and he's not that close with his coworkers so obviously they wouldn't say anything.

It's really affecting our relationship because we sleep in the same bed and he falls asleep first and breathes all over me at night. How can someone sleep with all that all over them? So I sleep in another room and he gets a bit upset in the morning.

I feel like he doesn't respect how much this is affecting me. I don't want to wince literally every time I see him. Why doesn't he care?

I am going to get him to go to the doctor to check for tonsil stones or SOMETHING. WIBTA if I told him I was going to do this? I'm about to break up a fantastic relationship over this issue, it's been so long. ######

Response: NTA. I am surprised that for his own life and interactions he doesn't want to improve this, but what really sent me over is the fact that he ignores your concerns about it and then gets mad when you sleep elsewhere. If he doesn't want to take care of it, fine, but he can't expect you to bathe in it. ######


Prompt:
TLDR: Just had a miscarriage. Partner left me the morning after to go mushroom picking. Said it was my fault that I hadn’t asked him to stay. Now, he wants to go with me for the follow-up clinical visit. AITA for not wanting him to be involved in the follow-up visits.

I just had a miscarriage.

Thankfully I am medically fine based on my clinical visits. I have one follow-up visit to ensure that there are no complications. My partner was there during the 1st visit that’s when I found out that it was a miscarriage. There were associated pains physically on the day it happened and I honestly thought it was just post-workout pain because I have been playing badminton the day before. All in all it was a shocking and tiring day physically and mentally and I was glad he was there all throughout.

What I couldn’t wrap my head around was that the very next morning he told me that he wants to go mushroom picking with people from his work because he said “ it could be fun”. He left me, to go do that and when I told him I would have appreciated if he was there because he was texting me while he was out. He told me, I should have asked for it. Followed by a text, “Btw, I would like to hangout with you tonight though”.

It was just illuminating moment for me how his actions made me realize that I couldn’t be with someone who would go mushroom picking the morning after I had a miscarriage. I left his place. He called me 3 times and texted me that he wants to be there during the last follow up visit “because it would mean a lot to him”. But I don’t want him involved anymore.

AITA for not wanting to involve him for the visit (and possible in my life) because it was overwhelming with the miscarriage and I don’t want to deal with the fact that he choose me over mushrooms and that he implied that it was my fault because I didn’t ask for him to stay.

(If what he wants is peace of mind that the miscarriage has no complications, he could go ask the mushrooms.) ######

Response:
 NTA. I am so sorry for your loss.

 My husband (then boyfriend) was an over the road truck driver when I had our first (of three) miscarriages. He was in Tennessee when I called him to tell him I was losing our baby and he literally called his work and got himself loads to reroute himself home to MN to be with me. He pushed his clock to the limit every single day to be there for me. He apologized for not being home sooner the minute he got through the door. THAT is how a partner behaves.

Throw out the whole man and find someone worth the emotional investment and worth having a child with. He is not a loving partner at all and you deserve so much better. ######


Prompt:
My aunt posted a fake news about Queen Elizabeth II giving praise about President Duterte on facebook. With fake news being prevalent on facebook, I called her out that it is fake news and haha-ed on the post because it is really funny. She then commented that it is because I have differing opinions about the president, that I am embarrasing her, and not respecting her political beliefs. I told her am respecting her political beliefs, I was just concern because it is fake news. She attacked me with a comment “Can you prove it? Did you talk to the queen herself? Are you even close with her?”. I just explained that fake news is prevalent especially nowadays there are alot of edited quotes with photos of celebrities, politicians, dead or alive, and even fictional characters from TV shows. She keeps on saying that I had embarrased her.

My cousin messaged me that I say sorry to my aunt. He also told me how sensitive our aunt was especially with these matters. I  complied for the sake of familial ties and to keep peace in the family. I said sorry that if I had offended her and told her that be vigilant about fake news especially she is a local councilor in our community. She then blocked and unfriended me on facebook.

Am I the asshole for calling her out? I did not mean to embarrass or hurt her. I was just concern because that gullibility in fake news could be used against her especially the politics here in the Philippines is filthy, from National down to local community level. She is my fave aunt and she is the only aunt I have. I don’t want to have a fight just because of politics. ######

Response: NTA. I always add a link to a fact checking website when I comment. Fake News is a plague on society. ######


Prompt:
Myself (F, 25) and my husband (M, 29) have been discussing having children and I’ve recently gone off of birth control to start trying. I had a very traumatic childhood and do not want that for my children. I was raised mostly by my grandparents. My grandfather has since died but my grandmother is still alive. I reconnected with my mother over the last 10 years and we have a pretty good relationship at this time. My mother is currently living with my grandmother.

 My whole side of the family is very religious. Jehovah’s witnesses. They have decided to shun me ever since I left their religion. My brother left before me and they shun him as well. My mother seems to think once we do have a child things will be different and they will want my child in their lives, especially my grandmother. I told her that I have no intention of letting my child have a relationship with any of the family members who are shunning me. She seemed surprised and I think it upset her that I said that.

 I don’t want to teach my children that what my family is doing is okay. I don’t want to expose them to that religion and have them force fed information. I know if they have a relationship with my grandmother she will not respect any boundaries I put in place in regards to religion. I don’t know if my viewpoint is healthy or if I would be harming my children by not allowing them to have a relationship with my side of the family (other than my mother and brother). So WIBTA if I keep my future children away from their maternal side of the family because of how they treat me? ######

Response: NTA. I also escaped an oppressive religion. What you're establishing are healthy boundaries, which makes you the total opposite of an asshole. ######


Prompt:
My 3 year old daughter loves to spend time at my mom's house but my mom has never been the "good" parent, she has always tried hard to be the fun one no matter what. Over the last year or so she ha taught my daughter my daughter many bad habits that have been hard to break. Some notable ones are, she taught her to fight by putting up fists and asking her if she wants to fight. My daughter now will come up to you and say let's fight then punch you in the jaw. She has taught her pee outside because she's little enough to not make it a problem. But now to the point, the last straw. This morning I dropped her off there to play while mom and I worked. When I got there she instantly tried teaching her that "someone stop her she's dancing like a stripper" song. I sternly told her not to teach her that and left it at that. An hour later I got a Snapchat from her of my daughter singing it. I told her again it doesn't matter if you say she can only sing it there. She will sing it in public and I don't want that. I got no response. After work my wife calls me and tells me my mom called her and asked our daughter to sing her the song. Further proving she made her memorize this. Then my mom called my wife a bitch for telling her not to fucking teach her this stuff.

Her calling my wife a bitch was the last straw. I went to her house and told her exactly what I thought. I told her our daughter is not going there any more until she thinks about what she is teaching her. As I was leaving my mom told me if she sees my wife in public she's gonna beat her ass.

At that point I flipped. I screamed at her to act her age and stop being a shitty person.

Now I can't sleep thinking maybe I should have defended my mom even a little. AITA?

Also sorry for the long post. ######

Response: NTA. I absolutely cannot believe the amount of posts where grown adults are expressly told not to do something and they do it anyway. You did nothing wrong by defending your wife when your mother physically threatened her! She brought this upon herself, OP. You’re trying to raise your daughter the way you see fit, and it sounds like you’re doing a great job. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway since this is stupid petty.

My roommate and I are both vegetarians. She regularly shames people for what they eat, including meat and any carbs. I have bad anxiety/depression which often leads to no appetite (she knows this) and regularly all I can eat is cereal or pasta, which she always comments on so she’s been getting on my nerves a lot. I also don’t like her because I always catch her in dumb lies so I guess you can say we have a lot of beef. ...

Yesterday she had a stressful day due to an online exam so she went out and got a chicken sandwich from a popular fast food place. She sent me a picture from her car with the caption “cheat day” showing the half eaten sandwich. Sometimes I have cheat days myself so I don’t judge her for that at all.

Yesterday we were on a zoom call with some mutual friends and vegetarianism came up. My roommate kept joking around calling everyone murderers like she often does. One person said he’d thought about going veg but didn’t know if they could give up meat. My roommate assured him that it had been hard at first but if you stuck for it as long as she did you stopped craving it altogether.

I pointed out that she’d sent me a picture of a half eaten chicken sandwich the day before. No one really judged her or said anything but the guy she’d been talking to about it laughed and the conversation moved on shortly.

My roommate is mad because she says I really embarrassed her. I told her she needed to stop judging people for what they eat and asked why she felt the need to lie. She said her diet is not anyone else’s business but I think she made it their business by lying openly. She isn’t talking to me now.

-

TLDR: I called out my veg roommate for lying about eating meat after she regularly shames other people for their dietary choices ######

Response: NTA. Hypocrite much? She shouldn't have cheat days if she wants to call everyone a murderer. ######


Prompt: I (17m) have lived with my grandmother (81), grandfather (80), mother (56), and sister (15) for all of my life. For years my grandmother has always had an uncontrollable sweet tooth. She vomited uncontrollably after eating a half pound of white chocolate. She ate an entire pack of double stuffed oreos 2 weeks ago. And today she ate an entire apple pie when I begged her not to do so. I was livid. Out of anger I hid the second pie. AITA Reddit? ######

Response:
 NTA. However, if this uncontrollable hunger is a new thing she might need to see a doctor. As someone previously stated on this thread it could be she has nutrition deficiencies.

It could also be, hypothyroidism or a similar hormonal condition. Lastly it could be a mental health disorder. ######


Prompt:
My uncle is a doctor, and makes good money. My Dad told him I needed money for school and asked for 1,000 bucks. He even had me thank him for the money and told everyone how my uncle helped him pay for school.
Turns out it was all a sham, my Dad used that money for drugs. My Mom showed me solid evidence of that, and I am horrified. I knew my Dad was an addict, but it didn’t occur to me that he was ripping off my uncle.

So WIBTA if I told my uncle what happened? Knowing him he probably wouldn’t sweat the 1,000, but I feel really guilty holding onto the knowledge. It might stir up shit between my uncle and my Dad, but I think he deserves to know. ######

Response: NTA. However, I would recommend that in addition to telling your uncle about the fact that your dad lied, you also reach out to him to ask him for help. This obviously isn’t just about the $1000. Perhaps your uncle is in a better position to intervene and work to get your dad in a better place and deal with his addiction. It’s also important that you are able to stay safe. I wouldn’t want your dad to take this negatively and take it out on you for “humiliating” him. So you should talk to your uncle, but do it holistically and let him know that you also don’t want to get in trouble/make things worse. ######


Prompt: I am a student and filed taxes for the first time this year. I pay all of my schooling (housing, tuition, and fees) myself with help from fed funding because my mom does not help me at all. I pay for all of my food, car expenses (gas, oil changes, registration), wifi, personal hygiene products, medications, health and dental insurance, etc. The only thing that my mom pays for me is my car insurance. Compared to all of my friends, I take on much more financial responsibility. According to the IRS, if your parent does not pay for more than half of your support for the year then they cannot file you as a dependent. My mom continuously starts arguments claiming that “I caused her to owe money to the government instead of getting money from the government,” because I claimed myself as an independent. Reddit, am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. However,  if you can start paying for you car insurance. ######


Prompt:
This is very awkward and I’m not sure who to ask so I decided to post on here.

My boyfriend proposed last year around Christmas, and of course I immediately said yes and together we have been very excitedly planning our wedding. We were due for September this year but have obviously put everything on halt.

One of my friends, Abigail, is a singer. She has a very gospel-ly kinda voice but as awful as it sounds all I think when she sings is ‘this is warbly’ and I have to fight to keep a straight face. She’s not awful, but it’s really not my cup of tea.

Obviously I would never say that to her but I do encourage her passion because one day she wants to turn her hobby into a career. I always respond in the group chat with constructive feedback when she sends us voice clips asking for it and if it’s very bad I’ll just stay quiet and not say anything at all.

Now recently in January a little known music producer (I think) retweeted a video of her singing and she has taken this as her sign that she is about to break it big.

She asked why I hadn’t asked her to sing in our wedding, and I answered honestly that I want her there in a friend capacity, not there to work. She then said she insisted on ‘gifting’ us the song to our first dance.

I really, *really* don’t want her to do this so I told her I would need to square it with my fiancé as we are making all decisions together. Thankfully he was on board with me and I texted her ASAP to say that fiancé wasn’t keen on the idea because he *really* wants x band to play instead.

She became upset in our chat group and quite a few of my friends are texting me telling me I should give her the platform and that I’m being a bad friend and an asshole, and that I’m being selfish. ######

Response: NTA. How selfish of her to insist on such a thing. It’s not as much of a gift as a way to showcase herself in front of all *your* friends and family on what’s supposed to be one of the most special days of *your* life. It’s your wedding, it’s your choice on what goes down. Even if it’s a gift, it’s not a gift you want presented at your wedding and she should outright be respectful of that request. Very much NTA ######


Prompt:
Hello!

As many probably already know, there is a strike planned tomorrow in the US for Amazon, Target, and Walmart workers, amongst a few others I'm sure I'm forgetting.

Well this past month I've been volunteering about once a week to shop for and deliver groceries to families in need, all families with children who are not in school right now and are struggling to eat. The local organization that does it takes donations and only shops at Walmart.

The group message I'm a part of sent out a message tonight asking who could volunteer to shop and deliver tomorrow. I felt very conflicted about this, and pointed out that there is a workers strike tomorrow, asking if we could possibly use a different grocery store for tomorrow only. I was met with a little defensiveness about how Walmart had done so much for our community etc. I said that that was understandable, however workers need rights and hazard pay during the pandemic as much as families need groceries.

I went on to say I would be ok with volunteering my time to deliver groceries to the families tomorrow but I just wasn't comfortable stepping foot inside a Walmart during a strike. I feel like I may have upset a few people and they likely view me as overdramatic and/or having messed up priorities. Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA. How much has walmart done for the community members working for them? Kinda sounds like the group you volunteer is putting blinders on. There wouldn’t be anything wrong with shopping at a store for a single day while workers fight to get a living wage. I’d be willing to bet some of those families you deliver to have members that work at those companies that have protests ######


Prompt: Extended family is split on this.  We’re the only family members with a pool (medium sized in ground).  It was very hot in our region last week, and one of my cousins called to ask if she and her kids could come to swim.  I said I was really sorry, but because my elderly mother-in-law lives with us, and my husband is at high risk for getting seriously sick (post kidney transplant), we had to limit our exposure, and no one outside of the household was going to be able to use the pool.  Well, I got a couple of messages from family, like, “Are you serious?  You’re not going to let a couple of little kids swim?”  So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. How is this something your family can be angry about? You have every reason to keep people as far away from your home as possible right now. ######


Prompt:
So I was in a chat group with a bunch of my high school friends and some other people. We were just talking about old times and things like that.

One of them brought up how his sister who is going to the same school as us probably won’t get to have a real graduation this year.

I said that sucked.

This one girl Talia spoke up and said

“Yeah, that does suck Matt. I can’t imagine what that feels like 😒.”

So people in the chat ask what she means. Talia starts telling them how on the last week of school she found out she had a fee to pay or she couldn’t walk for graduation. She was going to pay it, but lost the money before she could take it to the office.

Talia said how she found me still at school and asked if she could borrow $60 so she could pay the fee before the deadline and I told her no and then left.

To be honest I hardly remember this interaction. But I can imagine I said no because $60 would have been quite a lot of money to me back then. While Talia was part of the same circle of friends as me she and I weren’t actually friends, so there wasn’t any guarantee I’d get the money back.

Talia then said that in the end she didn’t get to walk for graduation with the rest of us because I wouldn’t lend her $60.

One of the other girls in the group said “wtf dude? You really couldn’t have just lent her 60 bucks?” The group chat got quiet for awhile until a friend of mine brings up something totally different and people go on talking about that.

A different friend texted me later and told me not to worry about it though. ######

Response:
 NTA. How is it she lost the money and it’s *your* fault? Does not compute.

Home girl was holding on to her grudge for 3 years to have her moment. 🤨 ######


Prompt:
So this happened a while back but a conversation with a teacher made me overthink it.

I coached gymnastics. My last name is my fathers, and I'm not in contact with him due to mental abuse. I don't like my last name. So let's same my name was Lexy Smith. I introduced myself to the kids as mrs. Lexy.

I did this in all my classes, also those where I was an assistant. One day after assisting a preteam class (ages 5 to 8), the main teacher and I were cleaning up and she told me she would prefer if I would go by mrs. Smith because the kids were now calling her by her first name too. I refused since hearing my last name reminds me of the past and while I'm coaching I want to have fun. I get these kids are little, but surely they can call us by the names we prefer? She said she was older so I should just do what she says.

This was just before summer break and this specific class didn't fit in my new school schedule but in my other classes I kept up mrs. Lexy and nobody ever had a problem with it again.

But AITA for using my first name when kids adress me? ######

Response:
 NTA. How do the kids know you're last name isn't Lexy?

Or how do the kids know the other teachers first name?

If teachers want to keep a professional environment (clearly like the other teacher does) surely they shouldn't tell the kids their first name to begin with? ######


Prompt:
I have a pretty old but reliable Lenovo laptop that is worth 300$,maybe less.(I got the laptop as a  birthday gift from a family friend)

My father decided to build a new computer for the family to use,which he spent 1250$ on,a computer that is used 99% by my brother,because he plays Fortnite and Roblox and he doesnt want to play those games on his phone.

Today,my mother had some work to do on the PC and my brother was angry that he couldn't stream idk what game.(that he also had on his phone ).

He of course started whining and mom told me to get  off my laptop to let him do what he wanted to.

I of course refused. He smashed my laptop's  screen to its keyboard multiple times. My mother also did that when I was playing and she almost broke my fingers since they got cought betwwen the screen and the keyboard.

She called me an ungrateful brat and took away my laptop.

So,Reddit,am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. How could anyone blame you for not wanting your computer damaged or disrespected? Stand your ground, OP. ######


Prompt:
My fiancé proposed to me with an heirloom engagement ring that belonged to his great grandmother and has been passed down from generation to generation. It’s art deco style with a large, multiple carat diamond in the center and many smaller ones surrounding it and in the band. I love the ring’s history and the things it symbolizes, but I personally find it gaudy and impractical to wear because of its size.

I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of wearing something so expensive and important every day, aside from the fact that I don’t really like how it looks. But at the same time I felt like it’s kind of wrong not to wear an engagement ring when I’m engaged, like how it feels kind of wrong when a married guy doesn’t wear his wedding ring on a regular basis. So I asked my fiancé if he could get me another ring, a simpler one. I told him that he doesn’t need to follow the three months salary ‘rule’ or anything like that. All I would like is a ring with a small solitaire stone that I can wear everyday as a symbol of our engagement.

My fiancé seemed disappointed at my request and said that I should try to wear the ring for a few weeks first because it might grow on me. When I told him that I’m worried about the risk that I would lose it someway, he said that if I take care of it, I won’t lose it. I don’t agree with the things he said and I think it’s not fair that I’m expected to just endure my discomfort about my own engagement ring for the sake of pleasing people who are not the ones who have to wear the ring. At this point I kind of just want to buy myself an ‘everyday’ ring that I can wear as a symbol of my engagement.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. How are they going to respond if you did lose the ring? How would the family respond? This just seems like avoiding the shit sandwich before it's even served up. ######


Prompt:
My 35F wife 37F has a cavity she’s needed fixed since January, but didn’t want to do it as she is afraid of dentists. Me too, so I totally get it. Since then, though, it’s gotten a lot worse.

Now she won’t go because she’s afraid of the coronavirus. Normally I would shrug off not wanting to go right now as overkill but if that’s what she wants, that’s fine. Crowns are expensive but that’s her choice and I’d rather pay for the crown than make her unhappy.

The problem is, it’s gotten so bad that I can’t sleep next to her. Riding in the car is difficult. Our daughter noticed too. When I bring up the fact that her breath is bad, she gets enraged. I’ve brought it up twice in the last two months, but now I don’t want to anymore. She just starts insulting me and making me feel like an asshole for saying anything.

Three times I’ve asked “can you please make a dentist appointment?” In exactly those words, and each time she becomes furious. I’ve been to the dentist myself. Waiting another 8 or 9 months for her to go though is going to be very hard on me.

Also I’m sure at some point this will effect her job. Nobody wants to work around someone whose breath smells like rotting teeth.

I sympathize with her not wanting to go to the dentist, but but I don’t feel like she needs to me mean to me about it. AITA for asking my wife to fix her tooth and her very bad breath? ######

Response: NTA. How about you go along with your wife to the dentist as moral support? And in the time maybe invest in a good mouth wash. ######


Prompt:
My brother in law (wife’s sister’s husband)is a rehabilitated meth abuser. It seems like my sister in law will be moving back in with him and my MIL would like us to start planning the upcoming post-pandemic holidays.

I’m considering putting down a firm, “Absolutely not.” My daughter is 1 and I just don’t trust him.

He was caught with meth in his golf bag a year ago and begrudgingly went to rehab. He has been clean for about six months. Before this he was just a general jerk. He was exhausting to be around. He would make a scene about anything to get attention. IE: How his drink was prepared, how much crab was in his crab cake, etc. His racism became such a norm that I felt myself becoming desensitized. IE: “I’ve never met a met a Maria who wasn’t a maid”. His range of obnoxious and immature behavior had a wide scope and could go on for paragraphs.

We never bonded before drugs came into the picture. He would take cheap shots and come up with odd blatant lies when my wife and I would make any effort to bond with him over the last 12 years. For example, I told him about some things from infantry training and he interrupted me to go on about a time he went skiing from a helicopter. That story he interrupted me to tell had never happened. He has this odd habit of being shitty and/or lying in public but then apologizing/confessing in private when he gets you alone.

In short, I didn’t want this immature jerk around my daughter before I found out he was a drug abuser.  Now I’m drawing a strict rule but it will have an adverse effect on my In laws who understandably want the entire family together.

AITA and being too harsh or do I have a leg to stand on? I would also appreciate hearing from rehabilitated people who were on the receiving end of being cut out by family members. ######

Response: NTA. Hopefully your holiday plans are at your parents house this year and not your in-laws. I’d recommend seeing them a few times outside of the holidays to get an idea where he’s at as a person now and if you’re still seeing the flags, just save yourself the headache. I do recommend not disclosing why you’re choosing not going this year because honestly that drama ain’t worth it. Keep your cards close to your chest. ######


Prompt:
When I was 21, I was with a computer technician (23), he fixed people’s laptops for a big chain tech store. We had ongoing issues with the kind of things he thought were appropriate, that made me uncomfortable- ie. going through WOMENS photos and files looking for dirty pics.
One day 2 teenage girls entered the store with a macbook for repair.
The sisters were 15 and 17 years old.
Apparently, the 17 year old was hot. So my ex and an employee in his 40’s, used the girls laptop repair information to find her social media profiles and then sent the link around to employees who weren’t working that day, and friends who didn’t work there.
My sister was the one who contacted the store, as she was older than me (27) and was disgusted and angry at the predatory behaviour going on in store. He got sacked and told everyone I got him fired cos I was a psycho.. I lost a lot of friends. ######

Response: NTA. Honestly,  I would block him from absolutely every part of my life if I were you. It is predatory behavior, invasion of privacy, and absolutely violating these women by going through personal items without consent. He needs more than just getting sacked. And you deserve better. ######


Prompt:
My Chihuahua had 7 puppies recently. They are adorable and when they are old enough I will be finding them homes. My mom really wants one shes even offered to pay. But I do not want my mom having one of my puppies.

My mom is a hoarder, we cant visit her house because of all the clothes piled to the ceiling in every room multiple piles. Shes also an animal hoarder. A few years ago she got in legal trouble for having 56 dogs in city limits. Legally shes not allowed to have animals after that but she currently has 10 dogs, 2 cats and 2 fish.

I fear for the puppy if i allow her to take one. It will not get care amd will probably have to fight for food. My mom keeps guilt tripping me saying Im a horrible person, I would rather see the puppies go to abusive homes then hers. She's even offered $80 for just one. But I don't want her having one because my fear is it will be abused at her house. I will make sure all puppies find a loving home before giving them up.

So reddit Am I the Asshole for trying to protect my puppies from her? ######

Response:
 NTA. Honestly I’d report her for the animals she currently illegally has as well but that’s just me. I definitely would not give her a puppy. If you want to avoid arguments just say you’re selling for more than $80 and you don’t think she can afford the actual price. Or maybe say all puppies are accounted for and have good homes already?

I have a chi/jack Russell mix and a lot of people in my family have chis and they’re a very needy breed from what I’ve seen. I can’t imagine a chi doing well in what is basically a large a pack of dogs fighting for food and not getting enough attention. ######


Prompt:
In my group of friends there's one guy who is your stereotypical nice guy, even comes with his own fedora. He's asked at every girl in our group then goes with "it's just a friend date" when they inevitably said no. I mostly ignore it all, but he ended up asking my GF out, when she said no he said he just wanted to hang out as friend and when she invited me he suddenly wasn't interested.

We've all been hanging out in a video chat lately and his cringeniess is becoming more and more apparent. I try to ignore it all but it just makes things awkward for everyone as he competes far too much with other guys when they're just talking to the girls. At one point we were all drinking and playing a game and my GF was being terrible at it so I was poking fun at her and ribbing her. He chimes in with "I think you should apologise to her, that was uncalled for" so she said "Dude, I don't need you to whiteknight me" which made him go quiet and then leave the chat.

He's been hitting on one new girl and it's made her uncomfortable, or so says my GF, and he's just not getting the message. We were all drinking tonight and he was jsut being super awkward so I just blurted out "She's not gonna fuck you bro, move on". he got quiet, left and then left all the chats.

Some people are saying I should apologise and that I was bullying him. ######

Response: NTA. Honestly I wish more guys would call their less savvy brethren out like that. ######


Prompt:
I moved into an apartment on the ground floor of a house which is split up into three apartments. The house next door is owned by a couple with several kids.

The woman who lives there has a temper... A few times, when I've been hanging out with friends in the back yard, she's yelled at us over stuff. Playing music with cusses where her kids can hear, being too "slutty" with each other, which was awkward... Etc.

As far as I can tell she never does this in front of her husband or kids. Her husband isn't home often, it seems.

Then, a while later, I was out getting my mail when four people walked by, the neighbor lady, her husband, and two older people who I think were either her parents or her husband's parents.

The husband asked me if I knew there was water leaking from the hose in the front yard of my house. He seemed friendly and like he was trying to be helpful.

I said I hadn't known, maybe the maintenance guy left it on.

But then I got a really weird feeling about how the woman that has said so much nasty stuff was standing with her family acting really chill in front of them.

I said "Hey, excuse me, aren't you the lady who's called my friends and I sluts, (homophobic slur), and (c-words) ? I was hoping to talk to you at a calmer moment.

She said no right away.

I then, knowing full well that she was that lady, said "Oh sorry, perhaps I'm confused. There's a lady who lives in that house, mid 40s, heavyset with chin length brown hair, smokes out back every night, who's said all those things and more, and I really don't appreciate it. Do you have a sister? A roommate?"

She cut me off and said maybe it's better I leave, and so I did. I heard fighting from that house that night and I think it was because of what I said, her husband and the older couple seemed shocked by some of it.

AITA for calling my neighbor out on front of her family? ######

Response: NTA. Honestly I think it's good that you put her in her place.  If she wasn't being respectful or receptive, then that's on her.  Doing it in front of her family is probably the only way she would've listened ######


Prompt:
Recently my great-grandma(98f) who we will refer to as Oma moved in with myself (34f) and my SO(37m). We are child-free so it made the most sense for Oma to live with us instead of anyone else in my family as I work from home and can take care of her. For the most part, Oma's mental facilities are intact however on her bad days she speaks entirely in German. To keep her from panicking and feeling comfortable I will carry on conversations with her in German.

To me, it's not a big deal if it keeps her calm and happy, I also don't feel it's harmful in any way. But my SO thinks it is rude that I carry on conversations with her in German as opposed to insisting on English. His main gripe is he can't understand what we are saying so therefore it is rude and I am excluding him from the conversation. I would be inclined to agree if she wasn't 98 almost 99 years old. And besides, we aren't even talking about him, which I've told him on occasion translating for him.

I understand that he feels excluded to an extent but at her age with her memory slipping and her having some confusion I feel he should be more accommodating. I've even pointed out if he takes the time to listen that English and German share similar roots that he will get the gist of the conversation. He, however, doesn't want to and insists that we should only speak English around him.

It came to a head last night she came into the kitchen asking a question in German, and he started yelling "English, speak English I know you speak it perfectly fine." I told him he was being an AH and to leave her alone. He hasn't spoken to me all morning so I'm starting to wonder if I was being the AH here for taking my Oma's "side" and conversing in German with her? ######

Response: NTA. Holy shit. She is 98 and has memory issues. He is 1000% the asshole. If he is insisting on English when she is having an episode and doesn’t remember English well, then he is intentionally excluding her from conversation whereas she has no control over it ######


Prompt:
I'm furloughed today and my mom is visiting, so I kept our 11 month old home from daycare. My husband is unemployed, but studying for a test. He said not to expect help with the kid since he is studying. I said ok and was watching the baby while waiting for his grandmother to come over. My mom asked me to look at some old videos of me, so I had them playing. The kid was being loud. Suddenly, my husband comes out of the office and asks "how would you feel if the daycare workers watched videos while they're supposed to be caring for our son?"

I got angry and defensive. I told him if he was removing himself from watching the kid, he can't complain how I'm doing it. Plus, it's insulting to suggest I'm not caring for my son "good enough". Kids make noise and I'm not going to punish him for being a kid. I also pointed out it's insulting to daycare workers to suggest anyone can do their job.

So am I being a bad mother and getting mad at him for pointing it out or are his expectations out of line? ######

Response: NTA. Holy shit I'd be pissed too. Is that out of character for him? ######


Prompt:
A long story pretty short, my dad gave my mother a necklace with a pink diamond in it when they got married, which he got from a housewife he worked as a butler for years before that. She gave the necklace to me when I got married but the clasp was broken so I couldn't wear it.

I was planning to give it to my daughter but after having four boys my husband and I have let that go and I thought it would be nice to give it to my niece for her next birthday. I asked her to make sure she even wanted it since she's not much of a jewelry person but she was surprisingly excited for it and we sent it in to get fixed.

There was an unnecessary fight between my niece and my sister about her current boyfriend which resulted in her cutting my sister off. Since I was behind my sister (but definitely not involved) I was also unfortunately cut off and somehow got most of the name calling.

Now I'd completely forgotten about the necklace until this morning when the jeweler called and said my niece was there to collect the necklace and wanted to make sure it was okay. I thought about it and decided to rather hold off giving it to her since she cut us off and I'd never actually worn it before. I told him I didn't send her and that I'll collect it tomorrow. Am I an asshole for doing this? ######

Response: Nta. Hold on to it. You might have granddaughters ######


Prompt:
My GF (30f) and I (29m) have been together for 8 years. She recently made some new friends online. She is now asking if one of her new friends (18m) can move in with us.

For a little background, without going too deep, my girlfriend is on disability and cant really leave our home on her own. I, by and large, am the breadwinner of the household. However, we consider both incomes shared money. I make a decent living, but not great and money still gets tight.

We currently live in a one bedroom apartment and would need to move to a two bedroom in the same building to accommodate her friend. Her friend lives with his parents in another state and is the subject of abuse.

She says she knows this friend really well, albeit through online and phone interactions, but I don’t at all.

AMITA, that after considering the whole situation I still can’t get get behind him coming to stay with us?

Edit: To clarify a few things that have been mentioned, she met the guy via online games. The abuse is physical and verbal, she has heard it over the phone. According to the friend it is pretty extreme abuse, full punches etc... ######

Response: NTA. Hol up. Internet stranger man wants to move in with you and your girlfriend who might not be able to get away from him if she needed to? There are lots of ways to help people that don’t include letting them live with you. ######


Prompt:
Okay so a bit of background. Im 19F and my mom is 45. She has 3 children including myself who all have some sort of disability or mental illness. Me and my sister have severe anxiety and depression and my other sister has severe ADHD and type 1 diabetes. My mom nearly died bringing my baby sister into the world as well as my other sister. My mom and dad's marriage is extremely toxic and they really need a divorce and have needed one since I was old enough to realize what was going on. My dad has always had sexist notions to the NEED for a son. We don't matter because we don't have a penis which has made us resent him among other shitty things he has done.

On to the story that brought all this shit up. I was in my parent's bathroom cause the one used by us "Kids" was just moped. I heard a rustling under the sink and thought "Oh god please do not be rats" and went to check. I was met with a face full of pregnancy tests. My sisters and I have expressed to our parents on multiple occasions that they SHOULD NOT have another baby. Its dangerous to my mom, shes lost babies in the past, and we all have some form of issue either from a genetic cause or from my asshole father. I do not want my mother to die nor do I want another kid going through the same damn shit we go through every day. They can't even give enough attention to the kids they have now much less another baby. I feel so betrayed because we told them over and over that this wasn't a good idea as well as their own damn doctor said it was dangerous. But by the evidence mom is still trying to get pregnant. I feel like I am never enough for them. That my sisters are never enough. It feels so awful then paired with her risks and their toxic relationship, Im so lost and hurt and scared. I haven't told my mom what I found or what I think but I did talk to a few friends discreetly and they say Im being selfish. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. History of significant hereditary illnesses, toxic family atmosphere, the current global health and environmental situation and her age (after 40 chances of congenital defects and complications rise significantly) are the perfect storm of why NOT to have children. She sounds selfish and not very responsible or smart. Unfortunately besides talking to her there’s not much you can do to stop her. Your friends are wrong to say you are selfish, it’s your mom who’s being selfish attempting to bring a new life into a screwed up world and home life. I’m sorry this is so hard on you. If you’re in school there should be counselors provided by the school, and most will teleconference. See if you can talk to one to help you manage your feelings around this. ######


Prompt:
I am a full time security guard and a full time college student. I work for a private company, that has a strict no trespassing rule. We have a basketball court on the property and during rounds tonight I found two men (Caucasian males earlier 40’s) and two young boys (maybe around 10yrs old) playing basketball. I told them it was private property and asked them to leave(I’m in the security vehicle at this point). One man seems bummed but is like ok. Then this other man starts screaming at me (5ft female) saying he was a long time resident of the town. I said be that as it may this is private property and you need to leave. Still screaming he says your not gonna let me and my kids play basketball? I said no there’s a strict no trespassing rule. The guy aggressively walks towards my security vehicle and screams “you must really like your job huh”. I laughed and told him “it pays my bills”. He got angrier, and I told him if he didn’t leave now I was going to call the local police dept and have him trespassed. He screams “I heard you the first time you fucking loser”. I followed them off the property to make sure they had left.

Some side information, the strict trespassing rule is because if someone that is not an employee is injured there is concern they could sue the company. If something like that we’re to happen and it was discovered I knew people were there that did not belong there, I would be fired.

So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. His utter lack of respect for and understanding of the concept that things can belong to people other than him has nothing to do with you.

Great example he set for his kids too ######


Prompt:
I've always used birth control as a form of menstruation regulation. Without the pill I can be randomly heavy and have terrible cramps and back pain etc.
Well my husband wants kids (I'd be fine either way) and so I've gone off the pill.
Recently I had an unexpectedly heavy flow overnight and woke up to a mess on the sheets. I was in pain and feeling horrible in general so it took me about an hour to have the energy to get up and do the laundry. My husband called me disgusting for waiting an hour (he was not in bed, just saw the sheets on the floor). I'm extremely insulted and frankly it's at his request I've gone off the pill.
He's refusing to apologize and saying I'm just angry because I'm on my period, which just makes me more angry.
AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. His response to you feeling sick and having a horrible period is to call you disgusting for not hopping up and cleaning right away? Does he have the slightest clue what happens after you have a baby? Because that whole thing is a literal shitshow.

Girl, go back on the pill. This man is not ready for the messy side of life. ######


Prompt:
My nephew is staying with me for the summer.  My brother is a single parent and I have the summer off work so to help my nephew is staying with me just for the convince and so the 13 year old isn't alone all summer.
My nephew has his own cell phone and I thought the Dad still had it locked at night. So my surprise I caught my nephew on his phone at 1 a.m.  Told him smarten up and go to bed.  Texted his dad just to figure out what is going on.  His dad told me to take the phone away and look threw it.  I am not a parent so I was a bit uncomfortable.
Well I found out my nephew was on discord talking to significantly older people.  There were several inappropriate interactions.   The person he kept messaging tried to voice chat 5 times the frist night I had the phone.
Now my nephew is now pissed cause he banned from discord and his phone.  Saying I had no right to go threw it.
AITA for going threw his phone and enacting the ban. ######

Response: NTA. His dad gave you permission and you’re the guardian this summer. You do what you think is right, you’re doing a good job so far. ######


Prompt: Hey guys! I F(21) have a very strained relationship with my father. Last year I walked in on him having an affair in our home. Prior to that he had been unfaithful to my mom on some other occasions (3 times total). After the incident during my freshman year of high school I made it clear to him if he did it again, he’d be dead to me. He did it again, and I made the decision to cut him out of my life. My mom had different plans though, she let him move back in after barely a month and started to bug me to talk to my dad again. This included inviting him on vacations, over for holidays, when I came back from university. In summary I stopped coming back home altogether. However because of covid I had to move back home, because the dorms shut down. My dad’s living at home too, and I’ve been struggling with it. My mom thinks because she forgave him, and the infidelity was in their relationship, I should move on. So she asks me to do things involving my dad, like text him, or call him, or help her buy him things, but I refuse because I am still uncomfortable with the situation. She tells me I’m using my discomfort as an excuse to be lazy, and that I’m ungrateful. Her forcing our relationship put a huge strain on her and my relationship and I’m having a lot of trouble staying home. I even got a full time job, just so I have an excuse to be out of the house for 40-50 hours a week. Am I being the asshole for not forgiving my dad about the affair, even though my mom did? ######

Response: NTA. His cheating affected more than just your mother and you have your right to your feelings. I’m sorry that you are in this situation ######


Prompt:
My husband recently lost his job,  I’ve picked up more hours and am exhausted.

I’m  meant to work from 6;30am - 4;40pm, I get up at 5;10am and the hour I’m back home depends on how long it took me to travel that day and how far away from home I am, for the past week I’ve been home at a reasonable time.

When I get home I cook dinner, do the washing up, wash and iron clothes, put the clothes away and after all that all I want to do is sleep.

I’ve asked my husband time after time to   put the children’s toys away, not let them take certain toys outside, not letting them bring all their blankets downstairs.

I once asked him to clean the house and I came home to find all the dirt he swept up in the corner of the room.

So I think what I ask of him is pretty easy? I came home and slipped on a toy car, one of the electric ones that I told him should stay in their room since it scares the kitten.

As an apology he cooked dinner and he’s pretty great at that but my back is messed up, my husband tends to kick in his sleep too.

I told him to sleep on the sofa or sleep on the floor, I don’t really care.

Now he’s moody and thinks I’m the AH because he got busy and I should be more understanding, especially since
I was home early (one of our clients cancelled) our children are 3 and 4 so I get he’s busy especially since our eldest has behavioural problems but It’s one simple thing surely?

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Him kicking in his sleep will mess up your back even more, you need to rest x ######


Prompt:
To preface this I 100% recognize how blessed I am to have the opportunities that my parents provide me and am in no way diminishing what they have given me so let’s please avoid the privelege comments and such

My parents typically take us on a big vacation(big as in long and far away, about 2-3 weeks and across the ocean) this upcoming year-summer of 2021- i am graduating from high school so my parents told me I could “plan” the trip in the sense that I can pick the destinations and activities that we do. My sister graduated from grade 8 this year and got a gift or two from my parents (gifts far above what grade eight graduation gifts would typically be imo) My sister and I typically have very different ideas of what a fun vacation is; she’s more of a relax on the beach at a resort type and I prefer outdoor adventure in a more temperate environment with activités like hiking. When my parents and I were talking about destinations for the trip my sister came in and started complaining about the destinations and asked why I could pick where we were going. Once my mom explained it to her she complained about how she just graduated from grade eight and didn’t get to do anything like that. The complaining frustrated me in part because it’s just annoying and also because she got a great gift for graduating grade eight (something in my country every kid does since it is literally impossible to fail) so I told her that graduating from grade eight means a lot less and is less important then graduating high school. I regret saying it and am not sure if it was too harsh but my parents Definetely think so and are telling me I have to apologize, which I plan on doing. AITA ######

Response: NTA. High school graduation is so much more important. It signals you moving on to the next chapter in your life. 8th grade graduation is literally very little change in her life. Wow she will go to a different school with more people now. Big deal. You are moving away (possibly) to college, this is a huge step in your life. I wouldn’t apologize. Your sister really needs to grow up. ######


Prompt:
I'm 21 F and have been friends with a guy 19 M for a few months. We've been talking for a while and I've opened up to him about a lot of things. We've talked about dating too. He'd never had a gf and he talked about how he struggles with it and I talk about how I struggle with finding someone decent (I had a bf when I was 15 who was emotionally abusive).

So I've been trying to make friends online as well but there are a lot of guys who will send creepy messages even if I've never talked to them or only specified that I'm looking for platonic relationship. I sometimes laugh it off but people can be cruel online.

I sent some of the screenshots to two of my friends (him included) and he says
"most guys just want you for sex, don't they?'
I tell him it's what a lot of women online experience and he says "no it's just you"
I asked him what he meant (as I've never had sex and he knows that) but he had a very condescending sort of attitude towards me. So I told him that.

I've sort of let it go as he never admits when he's wrong but it's getting to me. Would I be an asshole if I ask him to apologise for it? ######

Response: NTA. Hes a victim blaming g, misogynistic creep. If that's how he feels you may want to avoid being friends with him. ######