Prompt:
I know this sounds stupid; but hear me out. My (26f) husband (26m) works over 60+ hours a week, he’s in a second step manager position (he’s like second in charge), he purposely schedules it this way so his other associates don’t have to work 12+ hour days and instead he takes those hours to be nice to them because of whatever sob story they give him.

We have two boys under 3 that are missing and needing their dad, he sees them for maybe 1.5 hours a day before he showers and leaves.

His health is starting to get bad, he’s not eating much, and I’m worried he’s going to start getting ulcers or a heart attack from how stressed he is. Plus his temperament has been really aggressive.

He promised me that in the new schedules he would take only 40 hours, and work on his health and bond with the kids. And tonight he calls me and tells me not to be mad but he has to take more hours again because it’s unfair that so and so has to do more than their 8, but it’s somehow okie doki for him to work himself to death!

So I told him that I was really upset he went back on his word, and that it makes me feel like he doesn’t respect my opinion; he said I was being jerk and he’s working to support the family.

I work too and I can easily get more hours to account for whatever he feels we’re lacking on his paycheck, plus our savings is great! We could seriously survive for a couple of months on just my paycheck alone, we’d just have to cut our junkfood, buying movies on iTunes, and Ubereats.

Am I TA here for getting upset? ######

Response:
 NTA - does your husband realize that he’s risking his relationship with his entire family because he insists on working unreasonable hours at a job he doesn’t feel passionate about just so he can say he’s a good manager? He wouldn’t be the first person who lost his partner and kids because he failed to make them a priority after he’d been explicitly asked to do so (hell, just check out the rest of Reddit if you’re after examples...)

I’m not suggesting you divorce him, but you’ve asked him to invest more time and energy in your family rather than his work and he’s immediately gone back on his word. You need to make it clear that this is seriously important to you and your sons, and that you’re not prepared to accept empty promises about changes he then fails to make. He sounds like a decent guy who just doesn’t quite understand how much effort it actually takes to have a good family life. Raising kids is work. Keeping a marriage healthy is work. And in both cases, YOU are his only coworker. He owes you at least the time, respect and consideration he shows to his other coworkers at his salaried job (and considerably more given that you are in fact his wife and the mother of his children). He needs to take you seriously and not brush off your concerns as secondary or less important than the pressures he might have from his workplace. If he’s worried about money, sit him down and work out a budget. But it sounds like this is mostly about his own self-image and his concern for how his coworkers see him - in which case, my only advice is to do what it takes to make him realize that actually, the opinions of his wife and children matter more than that of his colleagues and he needs to starting acting like it. ######


Prompt:
I'll start with a bit of background. I have been friends with my friend and her ex since high school. They were together for around 10 years and split around 12 months ago. Friend has started seeing someone else. Ex has started seeing someone within our circle recently. I am friends with both of them equally.

I am trying my best to remain impartial, so when they each moved on I did not mention it to the other out of respect - I figured this was a conversation best left to the two of them. About a week ago I got a message from my friend crucifying me for not telling her her ex had moved on. I only knew her ex was 'talking' to his new SO, not that there was anything 'official' happening. She won't hear it and keeps telling me she has a right to know and that I betrayed her by not telling her. I disagree. I am close with both of them and am happy to hear them out, but I won't take sides. Which they know.

&#x200B;

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - despite you being friends to both parties, their business really isn’t your business. You’ve done a good thing by just staying out of it. Sounds like your friend still might have some feelings for the ex though.. ######


Prompt:
Me (16f) and my girlfriend (17) have been dating for about two years. When I first came out to my family they were a little skeptical at first but have ultimately been pretty supportive of me and accepting. My gf met them about a year ago and her and my family hit it off immediately. Since then she’s been invited to many of our family functions
My grandma (79) has short term memory loss so it’s obviously not very easy for her to remember certain details. She’s met my girlfriend like 8 times at different functions and everytime she says “oh who’s this honey? You’re friend?” And I always say, no grandma she’s my girlfriend. To which her response is “oh..” it’s not always said in the most happy tone but she always kisses us both on the cheek and wishes us well.
Recently at school my friend was asking us how our relationships was going and my gf responded “good except for that homophobic grandma” and I was so confused bc like, What?She said that my grandma always ‘deliberately’ referred to her as my friend and clearly did not support us. I told her that was ridiculous because she’s never said an ill word towards the two of us and she literally c a n t remember who she is. My gf said that I could pick my grandma over her if I really wanted but, “I was being ridiculous”.
I thought there was no possible way people could think I was an asshole but all my friends took her side and said that I should’ve informed my grandma before brining my gf up or kept her away from the party.
I’m honestly shocked by this so reddit AITA? ######

Response: NTA - depending on how lucid your grandmother is, That 'Oh' of disappointment could be an 'Oh. I forgot. Again." ######


Prompt:
Throwaway as I feel this is so ridiculous and don't want it on my main account.

I recently ordered some new clothes and one of them is a top with a love heart on it. The love heart is coloured in 7 different colours making a rainbow look. I got it because it looked bright and cheerful.

Today I came downstairs wearing it and my husband asked why I'm wearing a rainbow top when I'm not gay. I told him you don't have to be gay to like rainbows but he got annoyed and said he wasn't going out with me in public wearing it as people would think I'm a lesbian. I told him if people think that then I have no problems with it and that I was wearing it whether he liked it or not. In the end he refused to come out shopping with me and has been acting like a toddler who's taken a tantrum since I got home.

He made similar comments when I got a pixie cut 3 years ago which I absolutely loved but I've grown it back since as he said he wasn't attracted to me with it. Apart from that he never makes homophobic comments and seems to have no problems with gay people. ######

Response:
 NTA - dear god, the fragility of this man...

*Nothing* about anyone's appearance is an indication of sexual orientation. You could literally be snogging a woman and it would still not mean you're a lesbian. The "worry" that people will assume you're a lesbian based on your clothing is stupid.

Secondly though, why does it bother him so much even *if* some people would think you're a lesbian - presumably people who, like him, think pixie cuts and rainbow shirts are a no-go because it will somehow be an indicator of your orientation. So what if someone would think you're gay?

I know you're saying he never makes homophobic comments outside this particular issue and that he doesn't seem to have problems with gay people, but to be honest I find it hard to believe that he doesn't based on what you've written.

Either way, your husband is an asshole, for trying to dictate what you wear, and for worrying on any level that people may assume you're gay. ######


Prompt:
Tl;dr: My private garden was partially destroyed by a landscaper not even hired by my landlord. WIBTA if I called to complain

Okay for some context: I live in the UK in a private flat in a building of council flats (these are low income/free housing provided by the local authority). Each flat has a designated section of garden. So my partner and I have a large portion of the green that we maintain and care for.

I have a greenhouse and planters and all sorts of vegetables growing. I recently transplanted my zucchini plants into the earth. I didn't bother blocking any of it off or anything because that area is only maintained by myself and my partner; we knew which plants were which.

So for the first time in the year we have lived here, the city council sends someone around to cut the grass for the other gardens. The landscaper knocks on our door and determines which sections are ours and which aren't. He then proceeds to *only* cut ours and kills all of my flowering zucchini plants with a strimmer.

I am brand new to gardening. I haven't been able to work thanks to the pandemic and have been coping in part by gardening. I spent the last month and a half to two months nurturing those plants. And surely, a landscaper should be able to tell if something is a vegetable plant and not a weed??

So reddit, WIBTA if I contacted the landscaping company to complain?

Edit: I have also just noticed that he has decimated some flowering bulbs I planted earlier this year, too. ######

Response: NTA - Complain. Complain. Complain. They had no right to do that to your plants. It would have been helpful if you warned them but i doubt they would have cared. Try to get some planters to start off where you left off on gardening while you wait for that landscaper to be reprimanded. ######


Prompt:
So this just happened last week and I want to know if I am the AH.

Me (22F) and my friend (23f) decided we wanted to lose weight we both decided to just naturally bring in healthy alternatives to our diet and exercise and we both tried fad diets and failed every time.

We started this around the new year and I’ve continued to make sure to do the little things and ended up going down from an obese bmi to a overweight bmi, I know there is more work to do but I’m pretty happy with my results and showed off to Instagram.

So here is why I might be the AH:

My friend hasn’t been doing as well with her weight loss through no fault of her own, I did know this and have been trying to help her with things I’ve found work for me. I suggested maybe seeing a doctor as she really cannot shift the weight and I do wonder if it may be medical related, she got defensive about needing a doctor so I left it at that.

Then came the photo. As I said I posted my results to Instagram and she calls me crying saying I know how hard it is for her and I shouldn’t be flaunting my success in her face. I just wanted to show off how proud I am but now I feel like an AH because I did have it in the back of my mind that she may get upset.

So reddit AITA for posting my progress picture even though I knew my friends weight struggles? ######

Response:
 NTA - Compassion and empathy are a good thing to have, and understanding your friend's struggle is great, but there needs to be an understanding of what actually happened.

You didn't post it and tag your friend and say "Hey, look how much more weight I have lost compared to you."

Showing off your own progress does not equate to rubbing it in your friend's face ######


Prompt:
My student Spotify premium plan ran out so I went to the website to buy a regular plan. I noticed that they offer a family plan and figured it would be cheaper if I chose this option and split the cost with the people I invited.

I asked around and got a few coworkers and friends to join. The plan costs $15/mo. Split evenly that equaled our to $2.50 per person. I asked for them to pay me $2.50 each month on the 15th. It’s not a whole lot of money at all, for me or them, so it kinda felt silly to ask so for so little, but made sense.

Anyways, several months go by. People pay. Sometimes two of the people forget, and I’ll charge them on the Venmo after a few days.

These last two months, however, one friend hasn’t paid for the past two months. The other paid for this month but not last month. I charged them for these missing payments on Venmo (again, very little amount, but it’s disrespectful to disregard what we agreed on) and they’ve ignored it.

I don’t talk to that coworker (I left the job) and never really talked to her to begin with. Would it be rude if I just removed her from the plan without even texting her? All I did was request on Venmo so far ######

Response: NTA - Common courtesy might be to at least send her a text if you think she might just not have noticed.  But if she's not paying, there's nothing wrong with taking her off, especially after a few months. ######


Prompt:
I’m an only child and so is my husband and we have a small house and kids. Our parents often put down our tiny, full house. My in-laws arrived shortly after we bought our house with furniture that didn’t fit in their condo even though our house is barely larger than their condo, I wasn’t consulted. My dad gave us an bunch of his furniture he didn’t want. Ok, free furniture, but there’s stuff I don’t like, like a giant chest filled with my MILs student art that must be kept and a case of ivories. I don’t want to be a person who has ivories. But now it’s starting to really irritate me. His house is at least double the square footage of mine with one person and thee unused rooms! And every time I see him he tells me to take more of my dead mom’s stuff, my dead grandma’s stuff. He pushed a big cross on me even though I’m not Christian and the gave it to my kid when I said no thanks. Today he called me and “offered” a large freestanding mirror that has been at my aunt’s house the decade+ grandma has been dead. “No thanks, I don’t have any space for it” and he gets angry. How it’s nice and “I guess she’ll give it to Goodwill”, sniff sniff. Now we have to provide homes for grandma’s stuff in other people’s houses? He has three unused rooms!
AITA for saying no and if they treasure this crap they can find room for it? ######

Response: NTA - Can your kids somehow accidentally ruin a few things. Kids can be very very clumsy. ######


Prompt:
Ever since COVID, jobs have been hard to come by, especially in my [M21] and my girlfriend's  [F20] fields.

The other day, she got a request for an interview at this decently sized company in the city we live in. She did really well on the first interview, got a second, and did fairly well on that interview as well. I have no doubts they will be contacting her with an offer or a third interview, and she is super excited.

The only problem is that with a little bit of research you find out that the company is basically a giant pyramid scheme, and that you will be a door to door or in store salesperson. From there you only make commission. This may be what some people want, but I know for a fact this is nowhere near what my girlfriend is expecting from the job. Plus, reviews online of working for the company are either horrible or obviously fake.

I know it is her life and I shouldn't interfere, but she is so excited to get another summer job that I'm worried she might throw herself into this without actually knowing what it is. I asked her what the company does the other day and she explained the same BS that the fake reviews online had. I don't want her to waste her time when I know she would have a good chance at a job elsewhere. ######

Response:
 NTA - but you’ll need to find a few negative reviews to really convince her. From sites like Glassdoor or reviews from customers.

Maybe ask her what her base salary would be and then compare it to someone just making minimum wage. Sure the commissions would be higher, but it’s probably not stacked in her favor to actually earn a decent wage. ######


Prompt:
Me & my gf of 3 years has accused me of being cheap. She has 2 children from a previous relationship. Everything in the relationship is great but money is the elephant in the room.

We both have income. For the most part it’s kept separate. Separate bank accounts etc. All bills are 50/50. Now I’ve noticed when we all go out to eat etc she expects me to pay. The bills are always higher because of the kids. I find myself not wanting to go out because it gets too expensive.

I have money saved. A mortgage from before we got together. Investments and own my own company. No debts. She is coming from a relationship where they had 30-40k debt.
Has had the ex pay it off in the divorce. She has a vehicle and wants me to help out on repairs, new tires etc. Even maybe help buy a new vehicle. I drive a 20 year old vehicle and have never owned a new one. I see it as a bad investment.

She earns more money than I do. She doesn’t work but gets payments from the ex for the kids. She says she doesn’t want anything to do with him and would rather not take his money but wants me to basically take over. I don’t have the money to do this. Also I did not expect this. Now it’s turning into “we are not a priority for you”. And you keep all your money. Meanwhile I feel like everything is fair 50/50 with her even earning more. She earns about 2x me. Now her cards are maxed out and it’s getting stressful. She wants me to buy the bday gifts, vacations etc. Now tells me that’s how her other relationship was. But my defence is I am not the father and he is still alive and making payments. So idk, she’s made me feel like I’m cheap and don’t contribute. Is this a controlling tactic to get what she wants? Does she really think this of me? I mean I spent thousands on her for her bday and Xmas. Any and all comments welcome I need some help guys thanks. ######

Response: NTA - but what do you expect??? This won’t get better dude, you will dropped for the first guy that opens up his wallet. ######


Prompt:
My son is married to a woman no one likes. The truly strange thing is he doesn't like her either, he could never give me a reason why he was going to marry her, and they have been nothing but miserable since they got married. We are all hispanic and in the hispanic community there is a valid issue of light skin being put up on a pedestal. My wife was her mom's favorite child because she was the lightest. I know how fucked up that is but it is part of our community.

Both of my wives have been light skinned, and my current wife is blonde and people are surprised when they find out she is Cuban. My DIL strikes me as being horribly insecure. She is constantly calling women sluts, talking about what other women are wearing, and according to my ex she even tried to shame her for working out. DIL constantly brings up how light skinned my wife is and implies that she isn't really part of our culture and tries to shame me for marrying "white girls"

Well last night she pissed me off when she asked why we don't have any children together (she knows my wife can't have children) and then she started bitching about how she is surprised we didn't want white, beautiful children. I told her "you're racist because you're ugly" and she went crazy, throwing dishes and screaming. Now everyone besides my wife thinks I'm the asshole. ######

Response: NTA - but the better way of phrasing it is: "You're ugly because you're racist". ✌🏻 ######


Prompt:
So I moved into my current apartment about a year ago and ever since i have had to deal with my neighbors and their constant screaming. The thing is i don't really know them, I have only seen their name on the door, but the things I hear through the walls are very concerning. Multiple times a day the kids (I think they have 2) will scream, but not like fun-scream, more like scream-crying. This will be followed by their mother screaming back even louder and sometimes it sounds like things are being thrown against our wall. This also happens in the middle of the night waking me up sometimes 5 times in one night. I can hear them screaming and sometimes talking because of the thin walls, but I don't know their launguage so i can't make out what they are saying. This is also the reason why i want to call the authorites and not talk to them myself, becuase we cant communicate. The thing that even made me make this post was yesterday when all hell went loose and both the mother and the father was screaming at the children like crazy and some big objects were thrown against the wall, so big that my bedroom actually rumbled. I started keeping count of the screaming and crying and what sounds like hitting and in the last 4 hours it have happened about 5 times. It seems it is getting worse everyday

So WIBTA if I reported them without actually knowing or talking to the parents? ######

Response: NTA - but start recording and keeping a log as proof because CPS won't be able to do much unless they have proof. ######


Prompt:
Last Thanksgiving, my mom (53F) and I (24F) got into a fight about how my aunt treats me and my younger cousin who is transgender (13M).  Side note: my mom adopted my little cousin several years ago, and he came out as transgender last year.  He prefers to be referred to as male, which I will do in this post.

My aunt is homophobic, and she has ostracized me from our family for over a decade for being a lesbian, so my mom asks me to tone down my lesbianism when we visit by not talking about girls, who I date, or anything pertaining to the LGBT community.  I have accepted this and typically do so to keep her happy.  My mom is a peacemaker and does not like to fight or upset anyone, and she thinks I should respect my Aunt and keep this to myself.  Last Thanksgiving, I felt my mom crossed a line because she told my cousin that he had to go by his dead name at my Aunt’s and by female pronouns.  This obviously made him really uncomfortable.  It was also not easy for me to do, as I didn’t want to upset him and found it difficult to revert back to his dead name and opposite pronouns suddenly after calling him the other name for months.  My mom refused to allow my cousin to tell anyone that he was transgender because “kids would be there” and that he would be grounded if he told anyone.  She was angry at me for continuing to call him by his chosen name because I refused to switch back.  I was super pissed on his behalf because I feel his coming out should be his decision, and that my mother should stand up for us more at holidays to my aunt.

WIBTA if I refuse to hide my lesbianism to placate my aunt, as well as insist she treat my younger cousin with respect to his pronouns and chosen name?  I understand that my mother doesn’t want to upset her sister, but as both a straight and cisgender woman I don’t believe she understands where my cousin and I are coming from and why we want the freedom to express ourselves freely when visiting family. ######

Response: NTA - But maybe ask your cousin what he wants since he has to live with your mom more. He may be fine going back into the closet to maintain peace, tho you can 100% be gay af in front of your aunt cause it mainly affects your relationship to her and you aren't obligated to go back into the closet for her. ######


Prompt: Mostly anxiety speaking here. I have a mentally disabled sister, physically she is an almost 40 year old woman but mentally she is about 15 months old. My parents feed her, shower her, dress her, etc. I struggle extremely with the fact that when my parents are gone, that I will have to take care of her. It kills me that she is disabled. The thought of doing all that everyday for years with disregard to my own life, I can’t handle it. There were times in my teen years that I resented her, I had to rush back home to take care of her while my parents were gone. I had no childhood. AITA for cringing at the thought of taking care of her? For not feeling anything towards her? For feeling uncomfortable at the thought of washing her? For not wanting this role? ######

Response: NTA - But if you don't want to take care of her, you need to tell your parents now, so that they can start making other arrangements. There are lawyers and agencies that focus on exactly these types of situations. ######


Prompt:
So for some reason the kids in my neighborhood have decided that they want to start playing basketball at 10pm or later. Now I’m usually pretty chill about pretty much everything but it’s gone from them just playing basketball to them yelling and screaming while playing basketball. Even then that wouldn’t be an issue if it were something that happened every now and then. I’ve been their age before and I’ve done my fair share of stupid teenage things but I’m not sure where to draw the line.

Edit: I should have said that I’ve already talked to the parents about it (seemed pretty chill , it stopped for about a week and then it started back up). In addition to this they tend to leave trash everywhere (water bottles , napkins, soda cans) ######

Response: NTA - but I would consider talking to their parents first.  Honestly the police are fairly ill equipped to hand any situation that doesn't call for an unreasonable amount of violence to be directed at citizens, I'd only involve them if you are fearing for your well being. ######


Prompt:
My (16F) sister (18F) and I have never gotten along. We have very different personalities and always argue. Today we were visiting someone else’s house and got into an argument there. I can’t even remember what started it. She said something and I got mad at her. We were yelling at each other and getting pretty intense, and then she said something that stopped the argument. It was basically “Go ahead and kill yourself, see if I care! I wish you’d just shoot yourself and get out of my freaking LIFE!” Afterwards, she looked horrified and tried to apologise but I ran up to my room.

This really upset me because our dad shot himself when we were little. He’s part of the reason for all our arguing. She feels really bad about what she said and has constantly tried to apologise to me, but I refused to listen. She’s said bad stuff to me before, but this is worse because of our dad. I don’t know if I’m in the wrong. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - but I don’t know your sister but I’m quite sure she didn’t actually mean it like that, it sounds like you probably both say some very harsh things sometimes!

I personally know family members who have completely cut each other out of their lives over arguments, all end up regretting it but don’t patch things up because they’re too stubborn and I think that’s a shame!

You’re family, I would give yourself some time to calm down and then try to make up with your sister ######


Prompt:
Just wanna say beforehand, Im not actually the one giving it to my sister, its our dad.

Were all grown adults and are living together for lockdown. My sister is a really fussy eater, she only eats one type of food, curry. She only likes a certain brand, in a certain jar in 3 flavours. She either eats those currys or orders take out every day (either curry or fries).

My dad likes cooking and will do it for the family every night, but my sister refuses to eat anything he makes. She wont cook for herself either, will ask him to do it or will order take out.

If my dad makes her a curry, and its with rice that she hasnt had before, she wont eat it. Tonight, instead of using whatever rice shes eating right now (she used to eat microwave rice, she doesnt anymore) he used whole grain rice. She took 1 bite, said she didnt like it and left the entire bowl. This happens almost every meal if it isnt the perfect jar of sauce, perfect cut of chicken, or perfect rice.

Dad has hidden things in the home made sauces that she doesnt know about (like carrots or something) and we dont tell her, or she will refuse to eat it. We dont tell her after either, we just let her eat it and never say a word. Sometimes she will throw a tantrum about certain foods too, like we ordered take out for lunch a couple weeks ago, and refused to eat any of the food at all because she took some of my fries after being called out for it. A lot of food goes to waste because she has massive portions, but wont eat it.

Like I understand you shouldnt 'fuck' with peoples foods, but I feel like in this situation its acceptable. She has been told by doctors she needs to start eating better. Just wanna say my sister isnt autistic, she was tested and it came back negative. She does refuse to go to doctors too, and our dad cant force her since shes 24. AITA (my family) for feeding her stuff she wont eat and not telling her? ######

Response: NTA - but honestly everyone should just stop being involved with her food in any way. Don’t cook for her. Don’t get takeout for her. Nothing. If she’s not willing to cook or order her own damn food, she doesn’t deserve to eat. She’s a grown-ass adult who has been enabled in this totally asshole behavior for about two decades too long. ######


Prompt: So a little bit of backstory I (16f) have insomnia I’m up all night and some of the day but I’m almost never up at dinner time so I never get to eat with my family so I decided to do something nice and cook for them before I went to bed, I made meatballs like 50 of them and I worked my ass of for them I made them from scratch It took like 3 hours I pan fried them and burned the shit out of my arm in the process but they turned out amazing, we all had a few this morning (about 3) and my dad and brother said they were amazing but my mom said they were “only ok” which hurt my feelings but I moved on, so anyways I put them in the fridge and went to bed. Well I just got up and they had eaten all but two of them I worked my fucking ass off and they couldn’t save me more then two? Keep in mind there are only three other members of my family and They all had at least 10 and they saved me two my little brother even offered two put some of his back for me and they said not to,  I just feel like whats the point in working hard cooking for them if they’re not going to appreciate me enough to save me a portion! wibta if I tell them I’m not cooking for them anymore? I can’t tell if I’m over reacting ######

Response: NTA - but don't let other people stop you from doing things you like. If you make something next time, be sure to put it away in some Tupperware and label it clearly what's yours and what's for the family. If they keep stealing your food after that, then I wouldn't cook for them anymore, just cook for yourself. Please don't let one setback stop you from doing something you love! ######


Prompt:
Okay so I (15f) live with my mum, dad (59m) and my soon to be leaving sister (18f)

So it’s always felt like I’ve been walking on eggshells when my dad is around. I can never
tell what his mood is and wether he’ll shout at me if I do something wrong or tell a joke. When he shouts, He shouts hard. Usually while my mum isn’t home and he’s in one of his angry moods he will literally find anything to get mad about and say that we’re irresponsible, lazy, going to get fat etc. This hasn’t happened with me but he’s usually tell my sister to “fuck off” if she pissed him off about something (idk what but she always does leave the house when he says that and he gets mad) he also compares us a lot and says that I should be like my sister because she has a job n stuff, and compares my sister to me because I’m “unproblematic”.

Usually when I sleep in on a Saturday he’d usually say stuff like “you should get a job and stop being lazy” and he’d also say I quit an old Saturday club I used to be in cuz I just wanted to be a “lazy shit” (even though I left because it just wasn’t my thing)

Lastly if we say something he doesn’t really agree with he acts like the whole family gangs up on him and try’s to, in his words, “silence and oppress him”

that’s just a fraction of the stuff he literally shouts. I’ve always felt like I’m walking on eggshells when he’s around and I can’t take it, I’ve had to live with it for 15 years and I just want it to stop. WIBTA? ######

Response:
 NTA - but abusers rarely take their victims advice. I’m not sure what the best step going forward would be, but you’d probably be best with some support from outside your family to start with as a back up.

Are there any relatives, teachers or counsellors you can talk to about his behaviour? ######


Prompt:
I [27F] have been with my partner [27M] for four years, my south Asian parents who are first gen immigrants do not “allow me to date” and expect that I have an arranged marriage to a man of their choosing. I’ve explained to them multiple times that I’m not their 15 year old daughter they can “forbid” from dating.

I’m tired of the constantly being yelled at about “ruining their lives” or apparently “ruining my life” with my refusal to talk to men they’re interested in setting me up with. I’ve tried asking them about what their concerns are and that I’d be happy to address them but there is no way for me to reason with people who’s only response is “we cannot accept this.”

My parents on aren’t willing to entertain that this is a choice I’d like to make for myself. I care deeply about my partner, am immensely happy and see myself spending the rest of my life with him. WIBTA if I cut off contact with my parents over this?

tl;dr my parents disapprove of my partner due to his race and want me to have an arranged marriage, I’m not interested. WIBTA if I stop speaking to them? ######

Response: NTA - boundaries matter and people who routinely violate your boundaries earn a time out. ######


Prompt:
I have an extensive book collection. My boyfriend asked if he could lend one of my books to his friend, I said no. My boyfriend says I am being ungenerous.

My argument is that the book is a long and dense one and that it is the kind of book that people say they want to read but never actually do. People borrow books like this, they sit on a bed side table for months and you never get it back.

In general my experience with lending things like this, smaller things like books, is that they don't come back. I tend not to lend stuff that is small as I have a poor rate of return.

On the other hand if someone wants something expensive, like to borrow one of my very good dresses for an event, that's fine because expensive stuff strangely people seem more keen to take care of and return.

AITA For not lending a book? ######

Response: NTA - Books lent out often don't come back.  If you're fine with that, no problem.  If you're not fine with that, no problem. ######


Prompt:
My bf I’m tied me to stay with him for two weeks. Yesterday he decided to go to his friend and stay overnight. He told me I may not go outside and did not leave the key, I told him since I ran out of food I need to buy food. He said he’ll come back in the morning.

Today he told me he wasn’t coming back until noon so I went out. I couldn’t lock the door because I didn’t have the key and now he said I left his flat.

He is the type to never apologise and think I’m doing something bad when I’m not, but I’m really baffled that he thinks what I did was so bad. Was it really so bad? ######

Response: NTA - big red flag when he tells you not to leave the apartment you should run ######


Prompt:
AITA for wanting/insisting the new TV (that was supposed to replace the old tv in the living room) to go into the family living room instead of my husband’s man cave? He’s very insistent that we can’t use it to it’s fullest ability and it should go in his man cave but we have a toddler and he’s in school so his free time is maybe 3 hours or less a day (he routinely stays up until 2:30 am and wakes up at 5:30 to play video games.) so it wouldn’t get much use.

However we (toddler son and I) have been using a super old tv that has had color issues (everything is green tinted) for about a year now in the main family room/living room. We spend more time upstairs using that tv during the day.

AITA? He’s acting salty about it which seems ridiculous to me. ######

Response: NTA - At this point in time, his priority should be family time, not video game/ man cave time. He should be putting his effort with this new TV into creating fun and active time between the three of you, not to isolate himself away from the family dynamic ######


Prompt:
My husband and I both suffer from depression. For the past few years, I’ve been able to manage mine pretty well with medication and regular therapy. He is on meds and tried therapy once a few years ago but didn’t like his therapist so he stopped and never found a new one. His depression has just gotten worse and worse.

For the past few years, he’s just been miserable. Constantly negative, complaining, etc. I’m empathetic because I’ve been there with my own depression, but now that we’ve been stuck at home with each other and our child 24/7 for the past two months, it’s getting old. I’m frustrated and drained.

Last night, after he complained to me for over an hour about how much he hates his job, I finally got frustrated enough to tell him that he needs to find a therapist, because his constant dumping on me is exhausting. He accused me of being selfish and unsupportive and said that I should be there for him. I tried to make him understand that while I do love and support him, I just don’t have the energy or capacity to be his one and only outlet. He stormed off and hasn’t spoken to me since.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - Asking him to go to therapy IS supportive. It's the only viable way he is going to be able to manage his depression, and asking him to do so is looking out for him. ######


Prompt: This is a pretty silly thing so I'll keep it (relatively) short, but I'd appreciate getting your advice on this. My boyfriend 'John' and I were spending time together recently and I was acting off (I was stressed, but he didn't know and I didn't tell him). He asked me if I was okay and I responded that I was, to which he responded asking me if I was on my period. I felt pretty annoyed by the question, and while I didn't say anything in the moment, I brought it up later. John explained himself further, telling me that his best friend (let's call him Paul) said that his girlfriend wouldn't get mad if Paul asked her if she was on her period because she's an objective and reasonable person. Moreover, John didn't feel like the question was offensive and was coming from a place of trying to understand why I was off. I obviously disagree, but wonder now if I'm being unreasonable and if he was just coming from a place of trying to be understanding--AITA for feeling like this was an offensive question and feeling upset about it? ######

Response: NTA - as a woman, I too get very annoyed at the question. Also him calling Paul's gf an "objective and reasonable person" sorta implies that you're not? No offense to your bf, but he's 100% the asshole here ######


Prompt:
I'm a young'un and live with my father and sister, we have two chihuahuas and I recently brought up how I was slowly teaching them the "quiet" command, where once they are barking and quiet down you give them the command "quiet" and a small treat, just to keep form excessive noise, because during the day they will bark until you intervene.

My da' is heavily against teaching them this command and says it goes against their natural instincts, he believes it's inhumane and wrong to teach them the "quiet" command, I reminded him it'd only be on command so they can still bark as a warning for intruders or knocking and such, but he insists that it's wrong to teach them. He says they "can't" be trained the command because they're too small or something along those lines. ######

Response: NTA - as a dog owner, I feel the need for the quiet command sometimes. My dog barks for attention sometimes, so teaching him to be quiet first has really helped both of us to remain calm. Many people teach their dogs this command and I don't believe it will entirely suppress their urges to bark. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway account because he'd likely see it if i posted with my main acc.

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some context- I've been doing freelance art for years and usually I charge, say, $90 per character in a piece or more depending on other stuff. My bf didn't know I drew when we started dating and didn't seem to care all that much EXCEPT occasionally when i'd draw his night elf character for him, mostly just small pics or chibis/cute stuff

But now that i'm getting a tonne more commissions (yay corona?) he's been getting insistent about me drawing for him, even mad when he sees my twitter DMs with comission requests and often snidely makes remarks about how busy i'll be in the coming days and such with "drawing stuff for OTHER people". I caved at first and drew him a few pics, practically bypassing my commission queue (the order in which I work on clients art) to get his done first so he wouldn't be mad, but he keeps asking for more, which would really mess up my income and probably piss off my clients cuz they would have to wait longer for theirs. one of our mutual friends suggested he pay like my other commissioners and he laughed at the suggestion. I never NEVER draw for free usually because i know if one person gets free comms then ten more will show up asking.

This all came to a head earlier this week when i snapped and told him to -in not so nice words- to shove it and now he;s extremely pissed. I don't play wow and never have so, but he has since early teens so I know the character has emotional significance to him, but i'd really just rather work on my other commissions and pay the bills, am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA - Art is a luxury, if he wants it he should pay like any other customer. No one is entitled to art. Keep on drawing and I'm glad you have so many commissions! I know it's a throw away account but I'd love to see some of your art if possible. ######


Prompt:
So  growing up I had one of the most loving mothers one could as for, maybe  even a little too much. Except for times when she had her episodes. She  has schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and some other mental ilnesess I  forgot about. But for most part, she is very normal and sane, due to her  meds. But that's the problem. She never was a very religious person,  but every year, without fault, she will have this desire to connect to  god for some reason. She then start going to church at least 3 times a  week, and it seems to give her some comfort, so I don't even mention it.  But what surprises me is that everytime she finds a church, they tell  her she doesn't seem to have any condition regarding her mental state.  And that is true, because of her meds. Some time later they'll convince  her that with god on her side, she doesn't need to keep taking those  meds that are making her get fatter and fatter. God is all powerful and  will help her get through it.

Do I  even need to say it? After a couple weeks without the meds she is  completly changed, she doesn't recognize me anymore, start hearing  voices, seeing things that are there. When she gets like this, she  thinks I'm the devil or some evil spirit.

Yesterday  I moved to another house. The bills are coming up, it's all in her  name, she doesn't have any money. Most likely she will end up on the  streets in a couple months, and I don't care. I've had enough of this  shit. Last time she got better I told her if she stopped taking her meds  I would leave her to tend for herself, and so did.

So AITA for leaving her when I know she can't take care of herself? ######

Response:
 NTA - And yeah, these situations just plain suck.

The fact is that schizophrenia simply cannot be cured, and it's SO common for sufferers to get stuck in that endless cycle of take meds, get better, quit meds, go off the deep end, get rescued, take meds, get better, etc etc etc

In my experience, when someone is in this bad a state, the only thing that will really keep them safe is to have someone taking full responsibility for their lives, for the rest of their lives. They simply cannot do it themselves, so someone's got to be in charge of that cycle.

And if you just can't be that person, then you just can't. I mean even if we set aside the years of frustration and hurt and trauma and resentment, not everyone is cut out to be responsible for a mentally ill person every single day for the rest of their lives. ######


Prompt: So last month I bought a condo in DC. As I was a nervous first time buyer, I went wayyy overboard in due diligence, reading every document through and through. I move in and I’m happy, but two of my window’s screw cranks for opening up are broken. Now the condo documents clearly state that windows and the main door are the responsibility of the building, not the owner. So I go down to the front desk and the manager gives me a price sheet and says it’ll be about $150/window. When I mention that the documents say the building is responsible, he says to email the association president with the reference and see what happens. After that, I go on the message board and see many previous posts of owners and sublettors who must’ve not been aware of the rules and payed out of pocket. I now wonder if I’d be an asshole for digging out the legalese after so many people just payed out of pocket, but I also have to think that if the situation were flipped, I wouldn’t get much of a break from them. WIBTA for not playing along? ######

Response: NTA - and they most certainly would push if the situation were reversed. ######


Prompt:
So I (26M) ate something bad last night and had to spend a majority of the evening and this morning in the bathroom because I was sick. My girlfriend (24F) came and stayed over this weekend because it had been a while since we saw each other. As I mentioned above I had to spend a majority of the morning in the bathroom because I literally cant stop going, my insides feel like they are tearing each other apart. She decided to leave earlier than planned because "she was bored" and was just "sitting around with her thumb up her ass" while I was having an exorcism out of mine. Now shes angry at me because of that and because she felt bored when I was feeling sick and had to stay in the bathroom. AITA for not sucking it up and spending time with her?

Tl;dr Girlfriend left early because she was "bored" because I had to spend the morning in the bathroom due to eating something bad. ######

Response: NTA - and I gotta say: People who only want you at your best, and aren’t there for you when you’re at your worst, don’t deserve you at all ######


Prompt:
Obligatory throwaway and such.

I have severe phobias and delusions related to things like hacking, surveillance, government monitoring, along with things like cameras and microphones. It's a legitimate phobia, I'm in therapy and am on medications.

My family has been trying to arrange many group Zoom meetings lately and they keep contacting me about joining in.

Given my issues I think that using Zoom and webcams would cause me delusions that would set my progress back. My family are old and think 'positive thinking' is enough to cure mental health, so I'm afraid to confide in them about my paranoia since I know a lot of it is truly irrational.

AITA for lying and telling them I can't join in due to computer problems instead? ######

Response: NTA - and I don’t think the other people saying ‘use Skype’ or another app understand that’s it’s not just zoom, but (from what I gather) paranoia about surveillance in general. I would recommend asking your therapist for advice on how to approach this with your family. But you know your family best and if you believe they wouldn’t accept your diagnosis then that’s up to you to if you disclose your medical information. You’re not an asshole for your mental illness ######


Prompt:
Pretty simple story.

I recently bought condoms with my face. Not exactly bought, but a friend gave me a gift card to this website. I just went to a website, submitted a photo, and voila. In 3 months I got a package of around 1000 condoms.

I didn’t know what to do with that many condoms. So, I just gave a lot of them to my friends. It doesn’t show my face in the package, so it’ll be a pleasant surprise.

When I told my fiancée about it, she got really mad. She said that it’s akin to cheating. We did talk over it, and we both apologized.

I just want to know, if I was truly in the wrong.

So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - and definitely not the equivalent of cheating. It seems more like a joke, it seems pretty funny to me. If things got hot and heavy and my friend's face appeared on a condom I'd bust out in laughter

EDIT: Damn 3.4k upvotes on a post about condoms... Interesting... OP mail me one of your condoms ######


Prompt:
My cousin's birthday is coming up and she had asked me about a week ago if I'd be willing to to draw her OC's (orginal characters) for her instead of getting her a present. I normally never agree to do free work for people, because it can very quickly snowball out of control if someone heard I was doing free work, but since she's my family and it's her birthday  I agreed to do it. However, once she sent me the details of what she wanted I very quickly backed out.

Without going into too much detail she wanted some NSFW (not safe for work) art of her OC's doing some very NSFW things to each other. I let her know that I don't do NSFW stuff, but would still be willing to draw her characters as long as we kept things PG-13. No judgement or anything like that, just letting her know that I wasn't comfortable with doing NSFW stuff. She didn't take it well and this led into several days worth of angry texts and phone calls between the two of us that eventually culminated in me telling her to find someone else to take the commission and her writing a melodramatic rant on her Facebook and Instagram about how I was slut shaming and kink shaming her.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - and am I the prude here or does it seem icky to give orignal NSFW ideas to a family member to draw for you? Sharing a NSFW joke you find on the internet is one thing... this is not that. It's more like going to your cousin and saying "here's my most intimate sexual fantasies. Want to draw them for me so I can really enjoy them?" Um... some things are just not meant to be shared with family. ######


Prompt:
So I stayed at my boyfriends place (it's in a different city) for 18 days exactly so under 3 weeks and for the bills of the house it's normally £40 each for three of them each month. So £120 in total.

I did my bit and pay £30 to contribute to this bill (which is for a month and just 18 days) so I paid bills for a longer period than what I stayed for but didnt mind.

I cleaned their house on a regular basis out of gratiuted for letting me stay there, I literally transformed their bathroom, did their washing up and regularly hoovered the living room whilst no of them did any of this.

I left last Saturday and sent my boyfriend this money on the day. My boyfriend texted me today saying that his flatmates want £100 instead of £30.

I am pretty gobsmacked, this is so much money. And a cost that was not agreed with me at the beginning. During my stay my boyfriend gave lots of opportunity ies for them to give me a price to do my bit but they didn't seize the chance for us to come with a mutual agreement. They shoved it off so assumed they were just chill and weren't bother.

I'm a full time postgraduate student and depend on student finance. £100 is alot of money to me (and I'm sure it is to many people)

I said I don't want to pay the £100 they're charging me. Am I the Asshole?

TDLR: My boyfriends flatmates charged me £100 for staying at their house temporarily for 18 days and I refused. ######

Response: NTA - An amount was agreed and it sounds like you've paid most of your boyfriend's share of the bills for that period. It sounds like they're trying to retroactively get you to pay theirs as well. Additionally, it's not like you just sat there and ramped up the bills. You did the housework for them and did they thank you for it? ######


Prompt:
A little backstory:
My sister and I rent a three story house with 5 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. When we looked at the house, it was agreed that the 3rd story would be mine as I'm paying half the rent and utilities, and was witnessed by my mother and her son. I'm a very anxious person and an introvert, so the 3rd story was perfect for me. My sister, her daughter, and her son have the three bedrooms on the 2nd story.

My nephew is now 18, attending college, and lives on campus. My sister arbitrarily decided that he should move his bedroom to the 3rd story for his summer vacation and use his room for storage (which is pointless because she doesn't have anything to store). More than likely she'll rent out his room, like she's done before.

I don't want to give up my quiet safe space and my grown nephew doesn't want to move upstairs with me. She's the only one who wants this and doesn't care that I pay half the bills and purchase the majority of the household supplies and food. Plus, when my nephew does visit, he doesn't even sleep in his room, he hooks his xbox to the livingroom T.V. and sleeps on the couch (his choice). He also has his own bedroom at my mothers house.

So, am I wrong for not wanting to give up the space that I pay for and giving up my needs for my sisters wants? ######

Response: Nta - also, the “extra bedroom” is not ‘extra’ or a ‘bedroom’ It is your ‘whatever’ room and is not available. Why does your sister think she has any claim to it? If she thinks that she is just renting you a room in her house, why is she charging you half the rent and extras on top? You are being taken advantage of here. ######


Prompt:
For context, I’m a 16M and have an iPad Pro, which is quite pricy, and I don’t want to have it broken or scratched up. This is why I prefer to watch him with my tablet if he wants to use it, because I can stop him if he gets too rough. Not only that but I have personal shit on there that I don’t want to be shown to my family. It’s **PASSWORD LOCKED** for a reason!

My parents are almost always great, a little strict but never too overbearing.

What happened was that I was upstairs, playing with friends online, and I come downstairs afterwards and look for my tablet as I wanted to watch videos or just do anything on it.

To my surprise my brother was playing a dinosaur game on it, which was frustrating purely because I had not been asked if it was ok for him to do so. I saved up so much money for the tablet and it’s annoying to have it used without my permission. I ask my parents about it, and say I would have liked for them to ask first and they state:

Mum: “You must share your tablet”

Me: “I’m happy to do that but I would like to be asked beforehand so I can watch him”

Mum: “You’re being ridiculous, we bought it so we choose what to do with it.”

Me: “But thats not fair, it’s my tablet, so I choose of he can play on it”

Mum:”No, it’s to be shared, he will play on it if he wants”

This led to it being confiscated. I’ve already decided to change the password on it so only I can open the tablet.

Am I overreacting? Help me Reddit ######

Response: NTA - After your added info it is evident that rightfully it should belong to you. Calmly explain to your parents that not only was this a gift intended for you, you also contributed to buy it. You're happy to watch your brother use it just to make sure it doesn't get scratched because you can't afford to fix it or replace it yourself. (If they still say no ask for the money you contributed back as that implies it's not yours and you shouldn't have paid for it!) ######


Prompt:
I’ve always struggled at school since I was a kid, I would drift off and daydream or get distracted and fidget and forget what I was supposed to be doing, or just be really restless and it would annoy people. My teachers suggested I get tested a few times, but my parents don’t really believe in ADHD, they think it’s just a label for boys who’ve had too much sugar and not enough discipline, and that people just use it as an excuse for being lazy and just needed to try harder.

I ended up dropping out of high-school because I couldn’t keep up even though I swear I was putting in a monumental effort, and tried TAFE instead, where I failed 2 courses and barely passed one with all the additional help they offered. I really don’t think I’m dumb though, I just really struggle to sit still and concentrate long enough to get the information in my head and process it, and especially now that everything is online I’m terrible at time management and sometimes I want to start I just can’t get myself moving.
I get really overwhelmed by the work and my brain will just be like “nope” and then trying to force myself to sit there and read a paragraph is like smacking my head against a brick wall and I come away absolutely mentally exhausted and need to like sit and stare off into space for a few hours to recuperate.

I’ve just failed another course for getting too far behind, but I’ve actually moved out of home and could go to a doctor and get checked without my Mum knowing, but I feel bad about going behind their back and she’ll  probably find out anyway and be really angry. And if I did end up having ADHD, she would definitely get angry at me for trying to get treated. I just want to find out what’s wrong with my brain so I can actually study and get a job and have a life instead of constantly failing everything. ######

Response: NTA - ADHD is a very real thing and your parents are serious AHs  for making you go through your entire School career this way. ######


Prompt:
So I dated a YouTuber.

We went out for about a year and it was alright but they were so emotionally invested in their channel that they constantly neglected me and made me feel like I wasn't a priority.

Not really important why we broke up, but we broke up.

Then I get a bunch of messages from friends about 3 months later telling me to go to their channel. I'm pretty much done with them but I do and I realise they made a video about me where they claim I was emotionally abusive.

I continued to get messages from strangers telling me how awful a person I was and how they hoped I died through various means.

So I sued my ex.

It ruined them. I knew they were financially in a bad spot and they likely couldn't afford court fees but the case dragged.

They made a video about not being able to afford court costs and such and how it was going to ruin them.

After which a bunch of friends started telling me to just let it go and move on but I had sunk money into the case as well. It wasn't cheap for me either so I didn't just let it go.

Eventually the judge ruled in my favor and I received a total of nothing from my ex......

But it meant I could link to the result in the comments section of every video she tried to frame me as the bad guy because in our state, court proceedings are public record.

Suddenly her viewership dropped and she blamed me for ruining her life.

A bunch of my friends said I went too far and should've just taken the court win and left her alone.

Was I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA - Actions have consequences. Her "content" could have ruined YOUR life, but nobody thinks about that huh? ######


Prompt:
I have asked my spouse to cut off communication between themselves, my children, and my father. I've presented this same scenario to a few different people, and the response is generally the same. I'm a big ole asshole.

About a year ago, I came out to my father as transgender. I've been transitioning for much longer than that, but since I am military and away from where he lives, it was never an issue before. He took it really hard at first, but we have been working through it together. Our relationship quickly declined after that news, but I was always hoping he would be able to see past my transition and treat me like his child still. For a while, he did, but I always suspected it was so that he could remain close with my two children, whom he adores greatly.

About a monthly ago, I legally changed my name. This was the final straw for him. He will no longer speak to me, and refuses to communicate with me in any fashion. He has blocked my cell phone number, written me out of his will, blocked my e-mail address and removed me from his Facebook. However, he continues to interact with my spouse and children. It hurts me immensely to hear them talking to my father on the phone as if nothing has happened. I really wanted to remain close to my father, but it seems that is no longer an option. My spouse is aware of the emotional toll that this is taking on me, but feels that robbing our children of that same relationship is unfair. While I don't necessarily disagree, I don't enjoy seeing them interact with my father as if everything is the same as it was before. It makes me feel like my spouse doesn't really have my back and is leaving me to deal with my shit alone.

So, Reddit, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - absolutely not. I don't think I have to point this out but obviously your dad is the asshole here.

I completely get where your spouse is coming from. Maybe rather than it being "business as usual" for your spouse and children, you could agree with your spouse a level of communications that you both feel comfortable with, or as comfortable as you can be?

I'm really sorry your dad's being an asshole about this. ######


Prompt:
I'm (28,m) gay, and my friend, Sara (23,f) is a good friend of mine. She's pretty and quite popular etc etc and it got to a point where she had to file restraining order for TWO stalkers. I've known her for a while now and she's a good friend in general. One day she asked me about my type of man I'm attracted to. I told her that I'm attracted to people who's shorter than me, confident and funny. She said "oh! Just like me but with penis." we laughed it off for a while, but for couple of weeks, she keeps repeating that my type is basically her but as a man, and I'd totally date her if she's a man, which got me uncomfortable. I see her as my sister.

And during a dinner (this was months ago) with my other friends, we talked about our dating life and she told my friends that " OP won't be so lonely if she's a guy because I'm his type". I texted her when we got back home and told her that all of these "you're my type" thingy kinda makes me uncomfortable. She was confused and asked why, and insisted that it's true, she has all of the trait that I would get attracted to if she's a man.

I told her even if it's true its weird for you to repeat it. She said that its weird for me to get weirded out by this and asked me to stop assuming things and just see it as a joke. She later got pissy because "she can't even joke around anymore" and ended the chat.
We never speak about it again.

I talked about this with my siblings if I did something wrong and I missed it. Sister #1 told me that I'm overreacting and it left a bad taste in Sara's mouth while sister #2 agreed with me that she would feel uncomfortable too and there's a possibility Sara liked me. Sister #1 told me that I should probably apologize and just get over it if I value the friendship while sister #2 said that I did nothing wrong at all.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - a joke is a joke, but even jokes can be pushed to the point of not being funny. Seemed you handled it well, she just didnt like the "rejection". ######


Prompt:
My (f17) sister (f34) and her husband (m37) have been staying at my parents house for a couple of months, mom absolutely loves having my sister at her home she's given her and husband a very big welcome and cooked their favorite meals everyday.

While staying at home, feeling bored I decided to do a "makeover" and give myself an at-home haircut, Honestly, I've never touched my hair before, But not being able to go to the salon has made feel depressed.

My hair was shoulder-length, now it's short, pixie style, I'd say it was a seccuss, cause while we were all sitting having dinner, Everyone started complimenting my "new haircut" eccept for my brother in law (sister's husband),
And because of him being a sarcastic asshole who doesn't mind hurting people's feelings, he had a different opinion on my haircut, and said " Honestly, It could've been worse!".

"Excuse me, I DID NOT ask for your opinion, and everybody knows why".

BIL: Because I hate lying?, unlike everybody else?

Sister started motioning him to stop, but he wanted to escelate.

Dad: We didn't lie, we like it.

BIL : seriously, don't lie about where you got your haircut, you could ruin that person's career!

I was stunned, sis told him to shut up, but he continued to harras me, So I got off my chair and went upsatirs, about a few minutes later he knocked on my door, said he wanted to apologize, what a hypocrite, he lied, he didn't "want to apologize" my sister told him to.

He put on his "sorry face" apologized and told me my hair looks fantastic. And he sounded totally fake while saying that.
I pretended to be "okay" and before he walked out he turned around and said "piece of advice, Do not take a selfie showing your friends your new haircut, they'll envy you" and he sounded...God, I'm so offended, he was very sarcastic so I knew he ment to offend me once again, I know he's an asshole, But Am I overreacting? ######

Response: NTA - a grown man bullying a young girl. Wow, what an ass. ######


Prompt:
(This happened a while ago, no big weddings during a pandemic for me, dw!)

I (24F) was the maid of honour at the wedding of my brother and his wife (my sister in law).

While we were planning the wedding, my SIL mentioned how overbearing her mom can be, and how she always feels bad asking her to stop being an attention hog. I told my SIL that on the wedding day, I'd take care of her, no matter what.

Sure enough, MIL pulls up to the wedding wearing a WHITE dress (something my SIL guessed she'd do). I saw her get out of her car and start walking towards the venue, so I pulled her aside before anyone could see her and brought her in through a side entrance.

I told her that it was inappropriate to wear white at someone else's wedding, and that if she wanted to attend, she'd have to change. I had my SIL give me some of MIL's nice dresses, so I had a few for her to chose from.

MIL flipped out on me. She told me I had no right to ask her to change and that I was being a pain in the ass on an emotional day. She started crying and went to look for her husband, so I updated SIL & she told me if MIL would rather miss her own daughter's wedding rather than just change her dress, she could miss it.

MIL ended up changing, but made a HUGE deal out of it and went home early during the reception because she "didn't feel welcome". She still maintains that I was out of line. I don't think I did anything wrong, but I do feel really shitty for potentially being the reason my SIL wasn't able to enjoy her wedding fully with her mother (even though SIL still had crazy amounts of fun). AITA? ######

Response: NTA - a fucking standing ovation to you! Holy shit that is AMAZING. Ni you are not the asshole, you are a fantastic friend and a dutiful maid of honor. You are the reason this post is here and not on one of those “how did your mom completely ruin your wedding?” threads. ######


Prompt:
I went off on my boyfriend for him mentioning his weight preferences

My boyfriend pointed out that my stomach looks a bit round in a playful manner, since I’m bloated bc of pms. I ask if he likes it and he said  that it’s cute, but he prefers a slimmer look. This doesn’t seem like a hurtful comment but this is the 5th time he’s expressed his weight preferences to me. He says “if you loose weight, you’ll be hotter, but you’re really hot now. You’ll be hotter even if you’re more fat, but I just prefer more slim” the first time it wasn’t so bad but, now it’s getting on my nerves on how often he has to address his weight preferences. I snapped at him saying “did I ask? Did I ask what you prefer? I’m on my period. Are you my personal trainer or something?” And he said he only said it because he knows I’m trying to loose the weight I gained over quarantine, and was trying to let me know that he’s supporting my fitness and not trying to make me backtrack by complimenting a squishy area. He always says weight doesn’t matter to him, but then says he wants a slim girlfriend. I’m really tired of arguing about why he should respect my sensitivity to weight conversations. Am I a jerk for snapping at him? ######

Response: NTA - “You want a slim girlfriend. I want a considerate boyfriend. Not everyone gets what they want all the time.” ######


Prompt:
So I get a snap from him, saying he “missed me”. I admit, I shouldn’t have been so rude because I said, “Miss me? You never talked to me and when you did you were insulting me or my appearance” And he said “I’m sorry if I hurt you” which is one of my pet peeves. And he kept pressing me asking me to forgive him and how he’s trying to be a better person. So I just proceeded to write a big ass paragraph about how I never wanted to be associated with him and I told him to never reach out to me again, then I promptly blocked him. I know this was high school, but shit like bullying sticks with you. My self-esteem was at an all time low when he picked on me. He was one of the main reasons I had to switch schools in the first place. So AITA?

Edit: fuck it I got more to say. When I left that school I graduated with straight A’s, got involved in local theatre productions and I’m happy with the way I turned out. I’m not about to bring that guy back in my life

Edit 2: Ngl, this ordeal reminds me of that Tom and Jerry episode where Tom can’t go to heaven unless Jerry forgives him. ######

Response: NTA - “I’m sorry if I hurt you”? What a b.s. apology. ######


Prompt:
So recently I (25M) made a post on my facebook about how my student loan debt was nearly whipped. Paid off my first one last year, and as of right now, it looks like I can get this last one paid off by the time I get out of the army at the end of this year.

So naturally I wanted to share the good news with everyone.

What I wasn't expecting was a bunch of old friends complaining and accusing me of being an asshole because they weren't even close to paying off their debt.

Look, I'ma pretty competitive guy, but if I post something sharing some good news thats happening to me, I'm not competing by saying 'Ha suck it nerds, I'm better at managing money than you.' I was simply sharing good news and what to me is a huge milestone in life. ######

Response: NTA - “Comparison is the thief of joy”. This isn’t about them. It’s about you. They should be happy for you instead of being jealous.  if you couldn’t share an accomplishment because it might upset someone else who hasn’t accomplished it.. you would literally never be able to share anything ever. ######


Prompt:
I’m (29f) going to get married this September (if a certain unnamed virus let us). For important context, I am white but my fiancée (31m) is Chinese-American. I’m going to admit that I’m one of those girls who has been planning her dream wedding since I was a girl.
My husband doesn’t care as much and told me that I could plan the entire thing to my heart’s content with one caveat - there’s an important Chinese tea ceremony wherein the bride and groom make tea for both sets of parents and then the parents give them gifts. It’s incredibly important to him and the only thing he wants on our wedding day (Okay, he also consulted on the food and he wants to marry me lol).

He’s been planning that which will happen shortly before the wedding and will be a smaller ceremony with only family and very close friends. Today, while zooming with my parents, my parents said they found the whole ritual absurd and stupid and that she was going to skip it. Well, considering they’re an integral part of it, that doesn’t work for me. They couldn’t even explain why they thought the ritual was stupid, just that it was. I basically told them that if they skipped the tea ceremony, they should skip the wedding as well.

That led to a lot of crying and arguments and now my parents aren’t talking to me and my sisters have sent me texts about how irrational I’m being, how I’m being cruel, and how I’m being a bridezilla. But...this is important to my future husband so it’s important to me. It’s the only thing he really insisted upon for this wedding. But they are my parents and I want them to beat my wedding.

AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA -

That's absurd. It sounds like this tea ceremony is basically part of the wedding. I'd be more understanding if they were hesitant or nervous about messing something up, but it sounds like they're just being stubborn and controlling.

I say stand your ground. They're overstepping their boundaries here and if barring them from the wedding is the only thing that will make them understand that then do it. ######


Prompt:
So first and foremost I must say my parents are amazing but their siblings and parents aren't as great as my parents are. When I was younger I had always wanted to be with my Aunt's and grandparents to spend time with them yet they would always ignore me in favor of my cousin who was a year older than me. At that point in my life it was only my cousin and I being the children in the family. Fast forward a few years and it was no longer just my cousin and I. It was My cousin, her brother, my sister, and I. I was sorta hoping that with two new additions they would no longer be able to focus on purely one person. I was right. They focused on my sister, and both my cousins always forgetting I was a part of the picture. This always lead to awkward holidays where everyone was having fun and I felt stuck like I was talking to strangers.

Now a days, my grandpa passed away and the family was devastated. all of them posting stuff on Facebook like "I've lost all ties to this family" or "My family is falling apart". It also just so happened that I had finally finished school and landed myself a nice job that lets me travel yet it's only now after I've left that they are trying to build a relationship with me. My parents asked me to please just try to talk to them and be nice but I always respond with "Why should I be there for them if they were never there for me?"

I feel like I'm justified in thinking this but I still feel a little like an asshole. Everyone tells me that I need to get over it because they are blood. But blood doesn't always mean family right?

So AITA?

TL/DR: AITA for refusing to talk to my family because they were never there for me? ######

Response:
 NTA -

> I feel like I'm justified in thinking this but I still feel a little like an asshole. Everyone tells me that I need to get over it because they are blood. But blood doesn't always mean family right?

You summed it up perfectly yourself. Whilst you aren't an asshole here in my opinion, and just because someone is blood related doesn't mean they act like family. I would suggest maybe letting the past be the past and build a relationship based upon present rather than resenting the past. ######


Prompt:
When I say every single time, I mean every single time she does it in front of me and it's becoming a problem with the family because they think I'm being disrespectful and she's old and doesn't get it. Even my husband is like "I agree with you but she won't budge so just let it go"

No I dont think I will.

My son is ftm, he realised he wasnt a girl at age 6, and from there I supported him all the way until he figured it out. He's now 19 and will medically start transitioning in a few years I'm very proud of him. Family outside of us (parents) and siblings thought he was just a tomboy all this time and he only recently made the decision to come out to everyone else. Mother-in-law who always pushed for him to be "a girly girl" and thought something was wrong with him for not being feminine like his sisters is now misgendering him at every turn, texting us and lecturing us and giving unsolicited advice about his identity THE JOURNEY OF WHICH HE CHOSE TO LEAVE HER OUT OF. She also seems to think him being trans is now my fault because since I defend his pronouns so hard, maybe I pushed them which........okay. It's gotten to the point where she'll say things over text like "maybe if you buy her dresses" and I'll say "he doesn't like dresses." Over. And over. And over. And over.

Now she thinks I'm being disrespectful but I don't know what she wants me to do? Let her misgender him? A lot of family is telling me I'm being petty for no reason, but I don't think so??? I don't think I'm being an asshole for DEFENDING MY CHILD but a lot of people seem to think so. My husband thinks straight up blocking her would be an even bigger dick move because she's "just old" but that's where I'm headed. ######

Response:
 NTA - "they're just old, they don't get it" is bullshit. It means they've lived through every major Equal Rights protest in modern history and haven't bothered to learn anything.

You're doing the right thing by advocating for your son and refusing to let someone disrespect his gender identity. His mental health is way more important than wether or not your MIL feels disrespected. Especially since she's the one being disrespectful. ######


Prompt:
For background, i have 2 horses. Both are older (mid to late 20s), but one is very old (nearing 30), small (just above pony size and just under 1000 lbs) and has some back and hip issues. She is still in great shape for her age, is very muscular, and still enjoys riding. We trail ride up the mountains near our barn, usually 1.5-2 hours a ride, and they can be difficult and steep, but she does great with me (I am taller but weigh around 115 lbs).

When I bring friends riding, they ride the smaller, older horse and I ride the younger one. This is because the younger horse is very sensitive and not beginner friendly whereas the older one is not sensitive and great for all levels of riding. Because of aforementioned issues, I am selective about who I let ride her as it’s difficult for her to carry too much weight, especially up the steep hills and for an extended period of time.

I have a friend who is well over 200 lbs, does not know anything about horses, and asked to ride with me. I said no and was honest about why, but still offered for her to come groom them and spend time with them on the ground. She went straight to the body shaming tactic, I was skinny so I don’t understand, the horse is fine if she’s always galloping around with me, bigger people deserve to ride too, she’s shorter than me so it evens out, I’m gate keeping horses, etc. I just told her my horse was an animal with limitations, not a machine, and that I’m not going to sacrifice her welfare to spare her feelings. She was furious and we haven’t spoken since. Some friends (who all re also not into horses) think one ride would be fine and I’m being an asshole about her weight. I strongly disagree, I even agreed with her that bigger people can ride, they just need a horse suitable for their size and my horse is not that. So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA -  horses are not cars.  Weight matters ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have been married for 4 years and instead of having a wedding we eloped.

My mother was completely devastated. No one else in my family really  cared, everyone was very happy that we got married. For the past 4 years my mother has been asking us to have a “real” wedding. She says it’s completely unfair we eloped and brings it up constantly.

My mother sends me photos of weddings dresses, has cried at family gatherings over the fact we won’t get married and took the dress I wore when I eloped and wore it. She mentioned multiple times that she looked better it in than I did and posted photos on social media of her in my dress.

Even though it’s been 4 years, she is adamant that we should have a “wedding” for our fifth anniversary. She wants us to have a cake that we can cut together, me to have a dance with my dad and to have a huge party with relatives. We keep saying no but she proceeds to bring it up when other family members are around. She has said she will never forget that we took away experiencing a wedding from her.

She has offered to spend ridiculous amounts of money for a wedding and we have politely declined. She has told us we won’t be getting any money from her for anything else because the offer of money was only for a wedding (we don’t care)

So AITA? My family is torn. Some people think we should have a party so my mother can get over it and some have said wta for eloping since weddings are for family. My husband and I do not want to have a wedding and are glad we eloped. I have other siblings so it isn’t like there will never be a wedding. ######

Response:
 NTA  You're not a doll for her to play dress-up with.

A marriage is the important thing. A wedding, not so much. Your priorities seem great to me.

Stealing your dress, wearing it, taking photos, showing them around, and remarking on how she looked better...wow. If you needed any proof that "your" wedding would just be all about her, there it is. Save yourself many migraines and keep saying no. ######


Prompt:
My 23 year old daughter and her husband moved in with us a few months ago. I'll call them Josh and Ashley. My husband and Josh do not get along for a lot of reasons. Some of them are valid, like Josh does not contribute financially, he is rude and ignorant, and he has allegedly cheated on our daughter. They also don't get along for a few petty reasons, such as my husband makes fun of him for wearing skinny jeans, Josh is kind of socially inept, my husband is very cold and Josh tries to do this fake affection thing to piss him off.

Well that other day I guess Josh put some makeup on him as a prank while he was sleeping. My husband went insane, called Josh some horrible names, told our daughter he is ashamed of her. He told them they both had to be out by that night or he was going to have the police throw them out. Now I think this is ridiculous, especially when he's married to me and I've certainly played dumb pranks on him, which he was able to laugh off, but I also feel like it is his house as well and I don't have the right to override him. I wouldn't be ok with him having someone I didn't want living in the house. I told my daughter I think it is an overreaction, but she needs to respect her father and now she isn't speaking to me. ######

Response: NTA  You son in law poked the wrong bear.  If he did want to start shit he should be f8cking around with the guy who lets him live there. ######


Prompt: My husband (30M) and I (26F) have been together for about 5 years but married for 2. In the early start of our relationship, I wanted to make sure my in laws be okay with my race (African American), and he assured me that they would be. Every month for the past 2 years of us being married, I have encountered a racial wtf kinda statement from his dad specifically. Two years later, I’m about fed up. I can’t deal with the racial comments anymore and since the state of our world (racial tension and division) his dad has found it easier to make these comments. My husband quickly defends me but justifies his fathers actions saying that he doesn’t know any better and that he’s just ignorant. I told my husband at first that I wanted nothing to do with his family, that the relationship with them was causing me too much distress and depression. After a few phone calls, and half assed apologies from his dad, my husband seems to forget everything like it didn’t even happen. I hate that I gave him an ultimatum but I told him to choose his dad or me. I told him I was not subjecting myself or our future kids to his fathers racial insensitivity. AITA? ######

Response: NTA  The fact that your husband has been ok with this going on for two years says quite a lot, doesn't it? Not to mention that he actually defends his father! I'm sorry your husband has failed you like this OP, at this point he actually has to make a choice. ######


Prompt:
I (f/20) am planning to move together with a friend (same age) of mine next summer, once I have graduated.

My parents do know this said friend, as we know each other since high school. At first, my parents once I confronted them about my plans, didn't say anything and were actually even happy that I won't live lonely on my own.

Later this day, my mom (with who I don't have a really good relationship, see my last post) came to me and asked me to stay with them until I turn 23. Her reasoning behind it is, that I have to pay them money (approx. About 500€, as they won't get child support from me anymore) so they're able to live themselves as they're in big debt. I'm already "used" to the fact that I have to pay them some money, as I already pay about 150€ each month to them.

I have no interest in staying any longer in my parents house as I have to, for the sake of my mental health. On the other hand, as I wouldn't live with them anymore, I wouldn't see a point of paying them money, that I have earned.

Am I thinking selfish or is my mom just trying to find a reason for me to stay? ######

Response: NTA  Phew, your parents did a number on you!  It is not okay to ask a child to continue living with you because you lose income if they leave.  Parenting is all about doing everything you can to prepare your child for adulthood.  That means leaving home when you are old enough and financially ready.  GTFO!!! ######


Prompt:
So I'm new to this sub and I apologize in advance for any formatting mistakes.

My friend (22f) texted me a video of this good looking dude she saw at a restaurant. I noticed that she seemed to be recording over someone's shoulder so  I texted her about it and she told me she was on a date with her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend (23m) is extremely caring and kind. He treats her really nicely and they've been dating for around 5 mo. He's really kind to her, nice to her friends and has good manners, keeps their apartment clean, etc. He's a really good guy and I'm really happy for her.

Anyway I texted her as a joke "did you really take this video of a handsome guy while you were on a date with BF name?" and she told me she did because he was "So fine".

So I was like "WTF?" I thought this was really disrespectful of her to do, especially right in front of her own boyfriend. So I tried to tell her that, but she told me that she only recorded it because the other guy was really hot and she wanted to show me.

So it seemed like she was dodging my questions so I just outright told her "Taking a video of a hot guy while you're on a date with your boyfriend is really disrespectful to him." She got really upset and told me that I shouldn't be meddling in their relationship and that she only took the video to show me.

AITA for doing this? ... ######

Response: NTA  Hugely disrespectful to her boyfriend, and also just creepy in general.  Filming/photographing a stranger in public because they are hot is just gross. ######


Prompt:
My dad passed away last year on my birthday, I was very close with him and am still getting through this loss. I had told my husband and family that the only thing I want for my birthday this year is to just be left alone and mourn if I need to or to relax and have some time to myself. I don’t want to fake being happy and social that day.

My brother in law and his wife are having their second child in early June and live about 1,700 miles away. My husband and his parents now want to go visit my bil the first week of July (which is when my birthday is) if all of the travel bans are lifted and if Coronavirus seems to be less of a threat.

I said I would prefer if we waited for the week after my birthday to go, or if they can’t wait, that I’m fine if they go without me and I can go at a later time. My in laws think I’m being unreasonable and that I should just push aside how I’m feeling. Also that I should use seeing the new baby and being social as a distraction to my sadness to “get over it faster.” AITA for not wanting to follow along with their travel plans? ######

Response: NTA  How incredibly rude and self-centered of your relatives, to think that they can dictate how you grieve.  Stick to your guns.  Get your husband to run interference on your behalf if they don't want to listen to you.  But don't go to please other people. ######


Prompt:
Okay so basically my mum is absolutely furious with me and thinks I’m a shit stirrer, but I’m a huge believer in consent and that people should, you know, be aware of what goes into their mouths.

My mum has been making a stew for all of us for years and years, and tbh it’s ok. It’s not amazing, it’s not vile, but it was a staple she insisted on making and like I say, it was just alright.

She recently had the butcher deliver to the house and she asked me to bring the meat in, pack it away, and put it into the freezer. So I went about doing it when I came across a rather large amount of hearts, kidney, liver, etc. I was a bit (okay very) disgusted with the smell and was like wtf maybe the butcher gave this for the dog, idk.

So I asked my mum and she looked really shifty and said yeah, it all goes into the stew and that she hasn’t told my dad because he’d never eat it if he knew. She said she purposefully waits for my dad to be out the house before making it so he doesn’t know what’s inside.

I said that was pretty unfair, especially considering my dad has a really manual job and he works super hard and my mum regularly tells him she makes that stew for his lunch because ‘it’s easy and she can’t be bothered’ but yet everyday while he’s at work she’ll treat herself to M&S or Waitrose finest food. (super fancy shops in the UK) and my poor dad will treat her to delicious fry ups on the weekends and actually put effort into making her nice food.

I texted my dad and said just so you know there’s pig hearts in your stew, when he came home he told my mum he didn’t want it anymore and that it’s disgusting that she’s made him eat that all these years.

She’s absolutely furious with me and is accusing me of favouritism, of disregarding her, and that I’m a little arsehole for snitching to my dad. ######

Response: NTA  Hmmm on the one hand there's nothing wrong with those foods but on the other hand she shouldn't be shifty about what she feeds people ######


Prompt:
I (23F) bought a house last year in a fairly well-off area (not a neighborhood though). My cousin (21F) has been living with me for the past 3 months because of financial issues: she pays a bit of rents and helps me do housework around the house. She's a really nice person in general.

On the Fourth of July, she brought her boyfriend (22M) of 9 months over. He's a really responsible, nice person that I enjoy having around. We ate dinner and then he showed my cousin fireworks that he brought over, and he said he was going to use them in the backyard. I told him no and we could do it after dinner somewhere else, because my two dogs (one is a puppy and another is an older, more frail dog) are terrified of loud noises and I didn't want him damaging the grass. While me and my cousin went to wash the dishes, the boyfriend snuck outside and used the fireworks!

When I confronted him about it, he said that he wanted to make us happy and that the dogs being scared would be OK because the fireworks were beautiful.

I got angry at him and told him that he was not welcome in our house anymore because he couldn't wait 30 minutes. He got very disappointed and went away, and my cousin got extremely mad at me because he just wanted to show us the fireworks.

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA  He was being a selfish prick. You were completely justified in telling him to leave. ######


Prompt: I was just fired from my job that ha given me a company phone. I was not given a chance to remove personal information like passwords and personal accounts off of it. It also had text messages from company contacts and workers. After 12 hours I did a remote erase of the phone being that I still had access to it via find my device. Ex employer confronted me about it and is super pissed. I brought up that the last person fired (for completely different reasons) didn't have the intelligence to erase her phone so the owner and his wife went thru all of her personal stuff on her phone and to my knowledge still do because she hasn't changed her FB password? There were a couple other things that he was acting about ( he saw me pull into a gas station, he doesn't have my new phone number) that irrelevant to this question. ######

Response: NTA  but why would you have your personal stuff on a company phone? ######


Prompt:
I work for a property management company, and today we went to do a cleanout of a house that had been evacuated by the previous tenants. Living there previously was a foster mom with six children.

We opened the garage door, and it was filled floor to ceiling with rotting trash and crap and smelled absolutely foul. We cleared out a pile of mattress  and found the carcass of a deer in a tub-I would say based on the decomposition it had been there for about three months. The floor was covered with bits of torn insulation and mice droppings. It took two entire dumpsters to clear out the garage (a neighbor mentioned that once every two years the tenants would rent a dumpster to clean out their home-maybe around the time of scheduled visits?)

The laminated flooring in the living room was so water damaged and moldy that it was coming up with my boots as I walked across it. Every single window screen was broken and the windows were almost too dirty to see through. The entire house reeked like something died inside mixed with disease and unkempt pets; we had to make several trips outside because we couldn't handle being inside for too long. The carpets were extremely stained, matted and filled with food crumbs and the ants that were attracted to them.

I could go on, but I think you get the idea.
Edit: And we haven't BEEN in the basement yet. I'm scared.

I took videos and a lot of pictures, so I can provide evidence.

Honestly I feel like I WBTA if I DON'T report it, but obviously I don't know this woman or her situation, but I just can't handle the thought of those kids living like that. I also feel somewhat conflicted as this is something I learned through access of my job, but I feel like your right to privacy goes out the window when kids are involved. What do you think?

Edit: Just made the call. Social worker will be calling me soon. Thank you for speedy NTAs! ######

Response:
 NTA  At first I was thinking "state of her home" meant clothes on the floor or messy counters.  You're talking dead deer carcass left to rot beneath a bunch of mattresses?

You would be the AH if you did not contact someone about them. ######


Prompt:
I’m (18) currently living with my parents since my college has been shut down. My older brother (20)  lives with my parents, too.

I’ve been staying in my old room while my parents have made the basement into an apartment-style room for my brother. Basically, he has a small fridge, microwave and bathroom down there.

I was getting out of the shower in the bathroom that’s connected to my bedroom when I got the feeling that someone was watching me. Since my parents are at work (they’re both essential workers) and my brother in the basement (or so I thought), I ignored the feeling and continued to dry off. However, I started to get creeped out, so I turned around (It’s hard to describe the layout of the bathroom, so I’ll just say that my back was to the door) and saw my brother in the crack of the door. It was only opened a little bit but it was enough to see his face before he ran out of my bedroom (note: I always close my bedroom door before I shower).

I quickly got dressed and ran after him, shouting that he was so fucking creepy and a huge pervert and I’m going to tell mom and dad what a creep he is.

He slammed the basement door closed in my face and locked it. I tried to jingle the door handle open while continuing to yell how creepy he is. After a few minutes, I ran back up to my room and locked my bedroom door, feeing so gross and violated.

Later, I was on FT with my friend and told her what happened. She laughed and said that he was probably just fucking around and trying to scare me. I disagreed but she’s convinced that I overreacted and should just prank him back.

So, Reddit, AITA for calling my brother creepy? ######

Response:
 NTA  as someone who is an older brother of girls, it's not funny or acceptable at all and if caught one of my brothers looking at one of my sisters, i would have threw him out in the garden and gave him a smack or two.

At his age, it is pretty serious and i would consider telling your parents very soon, it is actually grounds for serious action but that bit is your call. ######


Prompt:
So I was in a chat group with a bunch of my high school friends and some other people. We were just talking about old times and things like that.

One of them brought up how his sister who is going to the same school as us probably won’t get to have a real graduation this year.

I said that sucked.

This one girl Talia spoke up and said

“Yeah, that does suck Matt. I can’t imagine what that feels like 😒.”

So people in the chat ask what she means. Talia starts telling them how on the last week of school she found out she had a fee to pay or she couldn’t walk for graduation. She was going to pay it, but lost the money before she could take it to the office.

Talia said how she found me still at school and asked if she could borrow $60 so she could pay the fee before the deadline and I told her no and then left.

To be honest I hardly remember this interaction. But I can imagine I said no because $60 would have been quite a lot of money to me back then. While Talia was part of the same circle of friends as me she and I weren’t actually friends, so there wasn’t any guarantee I’d get the money back.

Talia then said that in the end she didn’t get to walk for graduation with the rest of us because I wouldn’t lend her $60.

One of the other girls in the group said “wtf dude? You really couldn’t have just lent her 60 bucks?” The group chat got quiet for awhile until a friend of mine brings up something totally different and people go on talking about that.

A different friend texted me later and told me not to worry about it though. ######

Response:
 NTA  $60 is a lot to a high school student.  Hell, it could be a lot for some adults.  If she was a close friend and you had the money, it would be one thing, but she was only an acquaintance.

And she had the money, but she "lost it" before she could pay her fee?  Why is that your fault?!  Are you also the only person she asked? ######