Prompt: My partner and I have a two year old and we are expecting in the fall. He would like to go to a sporting event that is out of state and would be gone for at least 3 days. The sporting event is 2 weeks after my due date. I told him that I really feel like I need help at home because I will be newly postpartum with a newborn and a toddler running around. He keeps saying he will just take the toddler (I would never let this happen as this seems to be more of a boys trip, not kid friendly). He does not seem to be openly mad that I keep saying no but he keeps bringing it up and I’m wondering if he is thinking I will change my mind if he keeps breaking me down about it? It started out as a joking matter but now I’m thinking he actually thinks he wants to go and he is making me feel bad for putting my foot down. All of his friends are still bachelors so I hate to having to hold him back because I know things like this are really important to his well-being. AITA for not letting him go? ######

Response:
 NTA. Seriously, what is that guy even thinking? Your concerns are valid, and also, leaving town for a fun thing and leaving your wife alone with a newborn is the stuff that gets mentioned in couples therapy and divorce proceedings years after the fact.

It may be worth asking him to cut it out. I don't know. You are definitely not the asshole. ######


Prompt:
I gave birth January 4th 2018 to the cutest (may be a little biased there) little girl.

My relationship with her father was low contact when we broke up (he wasnt ready to be a father...despite having a second child born in May 2018?)

He would visit every weekend, he didnt want custody and probably wouldn't get anything other than supervised anyway due to his history.

His partner started posting pictures that I sent to him with captions as though it was her baby which was strike 1, I asked him to stop it which led to this huge fight which I wont go into detail about.

Then come to August 2018 he just disappears from her life.

Last week he contacted me out of the blue asking for some pictures of our daughter.

I haven't sent him anything and haven't responded.

But the group I'm in say I'm an AH and should just send at least one picture, be the bigger person.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Send him nothing. The sister of the father of my child asked for photos, I sent one on the condition it was not shared with their mother (my child's biological grandmother). Biological grandmother posted the picture online within an hour of me sending it to the sister along with a caption about how I was keeping her grandchild from her and sent her internet friends to harass me. I came off facebook after that. The father of your child has done nothing, just dropped out of her life for around 18 months without a word, and the only times you gave him photos you were slandered online over them. He does not get photos. Depending on your custody agreement, he could consider himself lucky if you let him see his child ever again. ######


Prompt:
 Dow to quarantine my sister-in-law sends her 9yo son to stay with me and my husband. Its was the best solution because she and her husband are both doctors.

 My husband is a photographer and I am an editor and colourist. Because I worked from home in the quarantine I relocated my computer in a little room, which I and my husband didn't use. I have a very expensive computer and I didn't want my nephew even look at it. My husband told me that he was mischievous. I was met with the child only once, at our wedding, and he was pretty restless.

 I have left the house for groceries with my husband. The kid was home alone just for a quarter-hour. He had open the room, that I have "hidden" my computer and somehow he had broken the hardware for the colour correction, one of three monitors and the mouse. All that cost around 2500$.

 When I told my sister-in-law to cover at least the half cost, she responded that she wasn't her fault, that her son "is just a kid" and she doesn't have to pay me back because "I am a entitle person, who didn't have a real job and I want to steal her money from her duty." ######

Response: NTA. Send him back to his parents. Having him stay with you obviously isn't working out. He's 9. He's old enough to know when he shouldn't touch something. He disrespected your home and the consequence is that he doesn't get to be there anymore. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway because my family members use reddit.

I (13F) finally got my own room after years of having to share it with my sister (10F). From the age of 5 to 11, I had to share a room with her, and it was awful. She would take my stuff and throw it on the ground, this caused my mother to think I was creating the messes. This would cause me to be yelled at and forced to stay in my room all day cleaning it up. When I was 12, we moved, where I had to share a smaller room with her.

Not even a week moving in, my sister created a huge mess. At that point, I said "screw it" and started sleeping on the couch, as I did not want to deal with her. Eventually, after I turned 13, we moved again, this time, it was just my mother and I who moved. My two older siblings went to live with their father, and my little sister went to live with her father. I finally have my own room, I keep it clean and tidy.

Because of the virus, my sister has been living with us because her father doesn't have a computer to do schoolwork. She is still as messy as ever, and I told her she cannot go into my room unless I say she can. This is mostly because I don't want her to make a mess that I have to clean up. Her messes are awful too, one time we found ants in our room because she left food out. Even still, when she comes into my room, she leaves her trash everywhere.

My mother thinks that I'm being unfair to my sister. I've tried explaining it to her, but she doesn't listen to me at all. So reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Seems perfectly reasonable, especially given her past history of trashing places. ######


Prompt:
Yesterday I spent 9 hours cleaning and organizing the kids (7f and 3m) bedrooms. I organized the toys, washed the walls, shampooed the carpets etc.

I absolutely had to go to the store today because we didnt have anything left to eat. I was gone for around 2 hours since I had to go to three stores to get everything, due to stores being low on some things.

When I got home, the bedrooms were a trainwreck. There was nail polish spilt in the 7 year olds room, all the books off the shelf in my 3 year olds room, the toy bin was completely empty... You couldnt tell I did anything yesterday.

I was upset. I made sure my husband didnt have any meetings or anything with work (he is working from home) and could keep an eye on the kids. He brought his laptop into the living room so he could multitask. He said he could handle everything.

He is the AITA part. I told him he is going to help the kids clean up and I am not doing a thing to contribute to cleaning it. He said he got an unexpected phone call and had to deal with it. It took longer than he expected. He claims he forgot to check on them.

Am I TA for not helping them clean up? ######

Response: Nta. Seems like you cleaned yesterday and now it’s his turn. But honestly your kids are old enough to start cleaning up after themselves. Will it be perfect? No. But I mean it’s their room. If they won’t help clean up maybe they need less toys and books in their room ######


Prompt:
My (34F) boyfriend (35M) and I have been having a really rocky time in the relationship. I planned a nice treat for a picnic date that involved champagne and a spread of really nice food— as in, I spent an ungodly amount on cheese and charcuterie for us to enjoy.

He said that he would probably give some of it to his friends after because there was a lot there and I agreed so it wouldn’t go to waste.

However, he cut it up and planned on having it with his friends before we had the date. I said it was a mean thing to do and he said I was overreacting.

I usually pay for our groceries and this week, he contributed so he could get beers for his friends. He asked if I would respond the same way about the beer if he didn’t give money and I said, “fucking duh,” because I’m not here to pay for his friends.

I wouldn’t be as upset if he shared it after we had our time, but it feels like a dick move. AITA for getting mad or am I just being too sensitive? ######

Response: NTA. Seems like something special you were really looking forward to and he ruined the sparkle of it by opening the cheeses and giving them to his guys before you got to enjoy it together. Not to mention he didn’t pay for it. If he doesn’t see this is a problem, I would take the trash out! ######


Prompt:
So
About a month ago my girlfriend broke up with me. All that was explained to me was that she found someone else and wanted to end things amicably.
As far as I'm concerned, things ended amicably and there are no hard feelings regarding it to my knowledge.

A couple weeks later she texted me and was asking how things were, I maintained a relatively normal conversation, but told her that I was also involved with someone else. She started sexting me, describing in detail what she would have wanted to do with me had we stayed together. After a bit of this, I ended the conversation, and she sent a final message along the same vein. I did not reply. She openly admitted to being aware that I don't tolerate cheating, but continued anyway. Last I heard, she's really mad at me for not responding, but also kinda upset that she picked the other guy (according to a mutual friend, he has some mental issues. Don't know what, Don't wanna know).

So, am I the asshole for not responding, as she claims? ######

Response: NTA. Seems like she wanted you to come crawling back to her and is now upset that you found someone else. ######


Prompt:
My Nephew (14) has been going through a rough patch. He’s continually acting out and getting in trouble. Both he and his mother decided they needed a break, and he’s staying with his father for the next month to go camping.
He keeps calling home to complain to his mom about his Father and stepmom over trivial matters (usually food). He’s also doing nothing but watching videos on his phone and used up all the data we had. It was the end of the month so it wasn’t a big deal, but I warned him not to use all of our shared data on our family plan (5 people share it) or I would have to suspend his phone until he gets back.
Well sure enough he used our entire data plan (6gb) in one night watching videos. So this morning I suspended his phone.
AITA for suspending the phone?(he can still use WiFi, and call his mom with his fathers phone. )
I know he’s homesick, and emotional. And that having his own phone allows him to feel a measure of control and relief. I could switch our old plan to unlimited for another $120 more a month, but I’m cheap and that seems ridiculous. ######

Response: NTA. Sadly he has to learn. $120 more a month to accommodate is a lot of money, I wouldn’t call yourself cheap for not wanting to spend the extra money. As harsh as it feels now, he’ll grow up to realize that entertainment costs money and sometimes you have to make sacrifices from what you want for what you need. ######


Prompt:
This is kind of weird and I guess NSFW.

I’ve been just chilling in my room naked for these past few days because it’s comfortable. I don’t really do this normally. My mom got really angry at me and told me that I had to put cloths on. I told her I’m just in my room and I put on cloths if I want to leave, it’s her own fault if she comes in without knocking first (I’ve told her a bunch she needs to knock, she’s walked in on me changing one too many times..) and it’s not like I’m walking around the house like this. I feel like my room should be my own space and I shouldn’t have to worry about how appropriate my attire is. She said she doesn’t care and ‘what if there’s an emergency?!’

This is the kicker though: my dad hangs around the house exclusively in his underwear when he’s home. And I’m just like wtf?? It just seems so hypocritical to me lol. She never says a word to him.

I know this is super weird, but I have to know, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Rooms are for being naked. At some point you’re going to shower and come back to your bedroom naked. I bet your mom’s not barging in unannounced then. ######


Prompt:
So my girlfriend told me that she wanted to show me an interesting prayer in her religion (she's Hindu btw and I'm a Catholic). I told her very politely that I will watch her say the prayer and not do it as I don't believe in her gods.

Christianity is based on monotheism and I cannot pray or worship another god, but I shall definitely stand and respect all gods and rituals and definitely celebrate their festivals.

She got offended and said that I wasn't tolerant towards other religions and that I was disrespecting her God, religion and beliefs by not taking part.

She then told me that when she was in a Christian school, she said all her prayers to Jesus. I told her that was a personal choice and that my belief is that there is only one God and all other religions are praying to different forms of that God.

She wouldn't listen to any of it. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Religious freedom means that you are free to _not_ say prayers as well. ######


Prompt:
I am 16 and I am FTM trans, my parents know about this but deny it. Say they need more proof before they accept it.

One of the things I have never done is shave my legs. Although my mom always calls me a slob, disgusting and every name under the book. Last night she called me the most disgusting human being for no shaving my legs and I snapped at her, telling he I will never ever shave my legs and she'd have to tie me down to a chair and do it herself if it ever happened. This made her in turn call me a selfish brat who doesn't care about anyone but *her*self, and I would never get anywhere in the real world with how I act. ######

Response: NTA. Regardless of your gender identity, your very natural leg hair has precisely zero impact on your parents. Your mom is the selfish one thinking your choice to shave or not has anything to do with her. You're not disgusting. You are valuable. You don't need their approval. ######


Prompt:
I've been laid off and have spent a lot of time at home cleaning and organizing. Husband is working from home and mentioned that its nice that everything is so clean and we can actually enjoy our days off instead of always having something to do. So we tossed around the idea of hiring a cleaning service once a week or once every other week to catch up on the cleaning we miss. Mostly vacuuming, dusting, and occasional deep cleaning in the kitchen. We work opposite schedules and find it hard to do this cleaning because we either have our toddler or one of us is asleep.

Apparently this was just hypothetical to him because I did some research and he was surprised when I brought him numbers. (Any cleaning service would be after the current situation). He barely looked at the sheet, handed it back and said he thought we would just hire his mom if we ever needed.

What?

I said no, because we used to live with his parents and his mom is nosey, she has a full time job, and his family has a tendency to over stay their welcome. Husband looked taken aback and asked me to explain. I brought up all the times she would take it upon herself to do our laundry that was in our bedroom with our door closed. "Cleaned" my work spaces, and generally disregarded implied boundaries. I also tacked on that his dad follows his mom everywhere and has a similar disregard for boundaries. He agreed about his dad but seems miffed that I don't want his mom in our home, hired and unsupervised. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Regardless of his mum being nosey or not I would not want my mother or mil going around my house cleaning. I also wouldn't hire my mother unless she was strapped for cash and even then I'd give her money before hiring her. Is that normal for him to hire his mother  to clean his house? ######


Prompt: To preface this, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a couple months and she has a variety of mental health issues, including severe social anxiety. One thing she has started doing is making this extremely loud high pitched scream whenever she feels emotion, like when she’s very happy, shocked, and as a greeting. It wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t so loud, it stresses me out and hurts my ears whenever she makes the sound, which is dozens of times a day. I ask her every time to stop or at try to be quieter, but she said it’s just instinctual now to do it and can’t/won’t stop and I can tell she doesn’t like it when I tell her to quit. ######

Response:
 NTA. Regardless of her mental health issues, I suspect the screaming is a **habit** rather than an uncontrollable utterance {such as cussing with Tourette Syndrome.}

It would be enlightening if you looked up her exact diagnosis in the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to see if screaming is a symptom. The DSM is a multi-volume reference book used by psychologists to diagnose mental health issues, and it can be found at many large libraries at their Reference Desk. You could look at and make photocopies of Reference Desk books but they cannot be checked out. ######


Prompt:
2 years ago, I (26f) inherited a home in Barcelona from my Spanish grandmother. I work remotely so I made the decision to move there for a few years, enjoying the culture and of course, lack of mortgage/rent. But I came home to the US to ride out this pandemic with family.

My friend, Sofia (25f) in Barcelona has to move out of her apartment as it’s being sold, and she is having trouble finding another place during this time. She’s asked me if she can stay at my place for a few months and just pay the utilities. If she really needs to she can move in with her boyfriend, so she would not be homeless, it’s just not ideal as he has roommates.

The problem is, Sofia is a major stoner and chain smoker as well. No matter if it’s prohibited, she has always smoked both weed and cigs inside her apartments (she’s had 3 since I met her), blasts music and has get togethers all the time. Most of my neighbors are all elderly. I hate the smell of weed (as well as cigs), and it’s still technically illegal in Spain. I don’t trust her to actually follow what my rules would be. So I gently said no and explained that.

Sofia thinks it’s pretty fucked up to say no to this with everything that’s going on, that I should have more trust in her, and that my home is just sitting there empty so it’s an extra slap in the face.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Recipe for disaster and your right to avoid it. I know someone who did something like this and the place ended up with thousands of dollars worth of damage and filth and was unlivable. ######


Prompt:
So here's the thing. We're out of quarantine but the rules are still strict. If you enter transportation without a mask you'll get fined. Another way to distance each other in buses, methods etc. is that they forbid us from sitting next to each other. They have put a sign on every two seats to remind people.

Another problem is that is young people stay in home to protect the elderly, yet in my country the elderly refuse to stay home and it's extremely annoying.

Today I had a group meeting with some other students to talk about a team project. I had to carry many things with me, like A1 papers and my designer.

When I finally sat on the bus, my back and hands ached like crazy. It didn't help the fact that today we had a heatwave. I managed to let my backpack to the seat next to me.

Now she enters. An old entitled Lady (around 60 or so). She is loud and she's not wearing a mask which is illegal. She comes to me(I was close to the door) and tells me to pick up my bag so she can see. I showed her the sign and told her that she can't sit here.

She responded, that I'm a rude bitch, I don't respect the elderpy, I steal all the space etc.

Once again I told her she's not allowed to sit next to anyone. She then proceeds to call me an asshole.
The thing that got me was that other people in the bus told me I was rude and didn't respect the elderly.  I really didn't want to be a Karen, but I was tired, achy and followed the law.

I'm writing this from my phone, and on the bus. Please tell me if I made any mistakes (English is not my first language)

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Really, if the elderly die from the virus because they don't respect the rules, that's on them. ######


Prompt:
We have had my niece and nephew for over 2 years (1,190 days to be exact). My sister has severe mental health issues and a one day she was having a pretty bad breakdown and was a danger to the kids. We went and picked up the kids and her husband said he would take her to the hospital. He then did NOT take her to the hospital or to get any other kind of help. Instead they left their 2 children (2 years old and 2 months old at the time) with us for an entire month without even bothering to check on them that entire time. Finally after a month of that my sister’s husband took her to the hospital and she told the hospital that she had been abusing her children and so CPS got involved.
Anyway, long story short, we ended up becoming official foster parents for the kids, the parents voluntarily terminated their parental rights, and as of yesterday we’ve officially adopted them. In the process of adopting the children we gave them our last name (they previously had their bio father’s last name) and the bio father’s family is PISSED that we changed their name. The bio father says he feels “betrayed” and wants to have a “serious talk” with us. I’m inclined to say “No. They’re our kids now. They should have our last name. There is nothing to discuss.” What do you think Reddit? AITA?

Edit—- someone below commented that 1,190 is over 3 years and they are correct. I can’t math. It’s actually been 825 days since they first came to live with us. ######

Response: NTA. Really bio dad? *You* feel betrayed? This fool has some real nerve trying to be the victim in this situation. ######


Prompt:
My entire childhood and adolescence life I strived to be this independent woman. I am now 27 and a housewife.

The other day I drove to my hometown to visit with a few friends (restrictions have been laxed in my province). We were catching up talking about our lives and having a blast. Of course our careers came up in conversation. Both are well established in their respective fields. Previously I was working in healthcare and they were surprised I am no longer working.

They ask why. I reply, "My partner is doing very well in his field and are financially well, he even has gotten two promotions since working for this company after three years! We decided since my health is not the best it would be beneficial for me to stay home and take care of the house." Also, my partner works out of town for a month at a time and I was working full time, so splitting house work is not very feasible.

We continued our night having a few drinks and playing games. The next day as I'm driving home I recieve a few texts saying along the lines of, "we're glad you're doing well but I cant believe you had the balls the rub it in our faces that you are not working and are a housewife. We thought you were a feminist and had more respect for yourself "

I am proud of my partner, I thought I explained my life choices in a non intrusive way. But now I am starting to think otherwise.

So Reddit, AITA for leaving my career to take care of the home?

TLDR; Left my career in healthcare to become a housewife. Which upset my friends who are "woke" as I also bragged about my financial situation. ######

Response: NTA. Real feminism is about having the freedom to do what you like for profession. If you’re happy, you have very right to be a housewife. ######


Prompt: A girl from my high school posted a video of herself screaming the n word with her mother. Another girl posted a picture of herself with blackface and calling herself a n word on her Snapchat story. She also happened to have a VSCO account where she posts pictures of her weed and alcohol. I emailed my principal and my state’s athletic association that manages my school’s sports. My friends thought that I did the right thing, but my parents got mad at me when I told them what I did. They said that I was ruining the girls’ lives and that they didn’t deserve to be kicked out of school since they were young. Now I think it wasn’t my place to report them. So Reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Racism should not be tolerated. ######


Prompt:
Good luck with your new job. I hope you got the landlords permission for the lock as this is a joint tenancy, did you think I was going to still your spider man toys? Either way I'm not bothered except it looks awful and you should have asked/done a decent job of it. Anyways, hope everything goes well with your job

(The lock is perfectly lined up, fits the door flush to the edges of the door frame, and there isnt a single scuff mark around it)

Am I the arsehole for not asking his permission to install a lock on my room? Or is he the arsehole for not bringing it up until after left for 3 months? I feel like he should be happy to have a 3 bedroom house to himself for 3 months while I'm still paying full rent. ######

Response: NTA. Putting in a lock causes no more damage than hanging a shelf. He's most likely pissed at the perceived lack of trust and lashed out in an immature way. If that's what he's like all the time, I'd say you were spot on when you installed that lock. ######


Prompt:
So I have a niece and nephew, my nephew is 3 and my niece is 5 months old. Ever since my nephew was born my sister has just randomly dropped him off anytime she wanted without even asking me first. Most of the time she will drop them off with 20 bucks and expect me to watch them on the spot. I usually just end up watching them because they are just kids and did nothing wrong, but at the same time how are you going to drop your kids off to someone else and expect them to drop everything they are doing for you every time. Just recently she started texting me asking me to when it's late at night and I am in bed, then she will drop them off anyways even if I don't reply.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my niece and nephew, even though my niece always cries when her mom leaves and my nephew needs to learn how to use his inside voice some, but they are great kids and I love them lots.

So now as of yesterday I had just found out one of the people from my second family had just passed away, he was only 40. The reason I told that is to tell this, saw a post on fb yesterday about my mom saying she would watch my niece and nephew again while my sister worked, and my sister replied that she explained everything in text. I know I am a bit of a jerk for snooping through my moms text to her (only the ones from the previous conversation), but apparently my sister knew my friend who was like family to me had passed and proceeded to tell my mom "Your son can watch them for 5 minutes", then she proceeded to b\*\*\*\* my mom out for giving my niece formula when she's told her no in the past.

I don't really feel like it's my responsibility to watch her kids, even though I do enjoy their company and love seeing them, but still is it really my responsibility to watch them.

So am I the jerk here for not wanting to watch my sisters kids whenever she wants me too. ######

Response: Nta. Put your foot down the next time she shows up and tell her no. She is free to call and **ask** if you can watch them, but she is no longer going to get a positive response if she shows up out of the blue. ######


Prompt: So I(21m) have a twin brother and he brought two pet parrots against my parent’s will a couple years ago. My parents are retired and not in the best of health and the birds wake up early every single morning and make constant noise. My brother however couldn’t be bothered as he continues to sleep in his room until 10 or 11 am while the birds have me and my parents up at 7 am every day. Not only this but the birds need food on mornings and my brother refuses to wake up early to feed them so either me or my dad has to put food and water for them every morning. Also in the evenings we wash their cages and put more food for the bird for the night time( this is around 5 pm). My brother has this habit of not only waking up late but taking a nap around this time so again we have to tend after them. Before he brought them home he assured us that he would be the one that would he seeing after them but it’s a whole different story now and we’re getting fed up. In addition to this he says he’s planning to buy more he use he “ likes them” but refuses to see after the one he already has. What the fuck?? Every time I bring up the topic of selling the birds he throws a huge bitch fit. My mom however defends him in this saying that birds are what brings him joy and it’s not my place to get rid of them because they don’t belong to me. I’m at my wits end with this. I like pets as much as the next guy but enough is enough. Am I the asshole here??? ######

Response: NTA. Put the birds in his room. ######


Prompt: A little background, my som is almost 2 and I post very little about him on social media, not too many photos, because I don’t want his face plastered all over the internet. Anything I do post about him is all private due to my privacy settings so only the people I want to see it can. My SO and I have told all of our family members this multiple times, but for some of them it has fallen on deaf ears. My SO grandmother announced my son’s birth on Facebook with a photo before my son was even an hour old and before we even had the chance to tell everyone. And now my SO’s grandmother has my son as her profile picture and cover photo on Facebook, and after asking her to remove it several thousand times it is still up as well as several other photos of my son all with the privacy settings on public so anyone that searched her page could see them. Would I be the asshole if I reported the photos to Facebook to have them taken down? My SO thinks it would be rude of me, but I am just desperate. ######

Response: NTA. Protecting your child is the very first thing any parent should be doing, and the fact that this woman is ignoring your valid requests to keep images of your child off the internet gives you every right to report her and do whatever you feel needs to be done. ######


Prompt: So My friend (F29) picked up a friend and they hung out for a few months before I met him. I cross paths with this guy a notice some really questionable tattoos. As a 30 year old black man I'm really concerned. The next day I ask her again about the guy and she confirmed my suspicions. So I got really upset and clearly let her know that her contact with him made me feel like me and my family would be at risk and if she continued to talk to him I would no longer speak with her. Fast forward a few days and I decided to ride by her house because it was a quarter mile from the store I was going to and low and behold that fuckers SUV is parked outside. So I send her a picture of the SUV and promptly let her know I meant what I said and blocked her number. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Protect your own. Don't let them invade your life further. I respect you for setting boundaries and following through. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend and I recently moved in together. She has a 3 and a half year old daughter. Her baby daddy is not really in the picture and her daughter calls me dad. She still breastfeeds her kid like 5 times a day and co sleeps with her every night and breast feeds throughout the night.
I have tried to sleep in the same bed as them and have had a lot of trouble getting a good nights sleep which affects me throughout the day, her kid wakes up crying at least twice a night screaming and the only way to get her back to bed is by breastfeeding . Which tbh makes me a bit uncomfortable idk why it just does .
I have communicated how I feel about this to her and she snapped at me saying I was attacking her daughter and if I loved them I would just sleep in the same bed with everyone because that’s what SHE wants. For months I avoided spending the night at her house, but eventually she came around and we discussed strategies for stopping co sleeping and weaning her daughter from breastfeeding. I was on board with that,  I know a child’s routine is not easily disrupted and will take time.
We have lived together for almost a month now and she has made no effort whatsoever to do any of the things we talked about. It’s the same old routine as it was before , every night she sleeps in her daughters bed (my old bed that we put in her room).
I constantly tell her that I crave that “us” time for her and I to have some quality time together . But she becomes angry and defensive  with me stating that she is not going to give up time with her daughter for me and that none of what goes with her daughter is my decision at all . We haven’t slept in the same bed once since I lived here, we tried once but she left in the middle of the night.
It’s put a strain on our relationship.
AITA for feeling like this and wanting more time with her and just her ? ######

Response: NTA. Pressuring you to sleep with them to your detriment, using the "if you really care about..." manipulation tactic. Roping you back in with the impression of willingness to change, only to yank it away once you return. That's AH behavior, and it's pretty toxic. Some people breastfeed for quite a while; I'm not qualified to say if that's normal or not, but I don't think it really has any bearing on who is the AH here. ######


Prompt:
So me and my partner are getting married in August, and we have had RSVPs back from people who say they are coming and add a +1 to the invite, and I have trouble confronting people to tell them no...

But my real AITA grievance is my mother...

She randomly calls and tells me to add this cousin or that cousin because they are family...

A side of the family I have little to no contact with because after my father passed away (when I was 16) my mother upped and left me about 2 years later to deal with a broken house and no income while she went back to live with her parents.

So AITA here for telling her no and she can't just invite whoever she likes? ######

Response: NTA. Polish up your spine, it’s hard but it’ll make you hate your wedding day looking back realizing how much you let your mom get away with because you don’t want to be confrontational. ######


Prompt:
So my 2 step sisters who share a room, I guess they haven't gotten along and arguing a lot. My mom and step dad's solution is to break them up in the room and move me and my step brother into a room. I have had the same room since we all first moved in and I was like 7 or something. I have protested this hard, cause I am 17 and don't want to share a room with a 15yo who always smells bad. Like I'm not trying to be too mean but he smells terrible and refuses to shower.

I asked my mom why one of them couldn't share a room with their brother cause they are all related while I'm not, and she told me to just suck it up. Since I had the smallest room I have to move out of my childhood room to my step brother's room. It sucks but its gonna happen next week, I am pretty mad cause I did nothing wrong and I AM the one getting punished while the 2 who are at wrong are getting a reward. My mom and step dad are telling me to grow up and suck it up but I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Point out that as the only child who doesn't pick fights with siblings or smell like Satan's small intestine, you don't deserve to be punished. ######


Prompt:
I've been fairly overweight to moderately overweight my entire life. Until my accident, I was struggling to stay under 200 pounds. I was asked to be a bridesmaid for my friend's wedding, where all the other bridesmaids are moderately overweight to obese. The bride is what I would consider an average weight.

I got into a car accident 7 months ago. As a result, my entire torso got jacked up. The doctors had a LOT of work fixing me, and in doing so had to perform a very similar procedure to a gastric bypass. It was a rough recovery but I'm healthy now. I literally can't eat as much as I would like to. As a result of this and the recovery process, I ended up at 120 pounds, and I had to work to get to 130 pounds. It's going to be incredibly hard to maintain my current weight or gain any.

The only part of my body that didn't shrink is my boobs. Now I have 36D boobs on an otherwise thin frame. I look... ridiculous. I look photoshopped. My body isn't something that is naturally possible. It's hard to find clothes that look good. My old style no longer works and I had to completely find a new style, but my new clothes are working for me.

I've started getting more confident. I've posted pictures of myself in new outfits and have bought a new bridesmaid dress that actually fits me. I'm getting some positive comments, but I'm also getting really mean ones. They're saying that I'm encouraging unrealistic body standards/eating disorders, and making people feel bad that they can't look like something that isn't possible.

My friend that's getting married has cried to me that she feels pressure to lose even more weight for her wedding because "I'll look so much better than her". I don't know if I'm doing something wrong here. I'm just trying to get used to my new body and get more confident. ######

Response: Nta. Plus your body isn’t even unnatural! I am roughly the same weight and have 32dd. It’s just not a body you are used to yet. I am sorry they are acting like you are doing something wrong. You went through something traumatic and you have the right to be happy with where you are at. ######


Prompt:
If I do not shower in the morning, my husband begins making comments that I should do so, starting in late morning/afternoon.

I have a full time job, and I usually shower 7 days a week. I generally look nice. Every so often (once a month), I will skip a Saturday or, even more rarely, a week day.

Now, this fight kicked off because I didn’t shower yesterday and haven’t yet today...but I woke up late and am just lazing (edit: I have full plans to shower today) because I worked late last night, we’re obviously not going out. I am wearing deodorant and brushed my teeth. Husband insists more than 24 hours without a shower is gross, and if you’re worried about your skin, wear lotion. He says most people agree with this.

I say it’s unreasonable to expect me to cater to this somewhat irrational expectation.

So, AITA?

Tl:dr: AITA for thinking it’s not gross to skip a day of showering, and being unwilling to give up an odd unshowered day to placate my husband? ######

Response:
 NTA. Plenty of people shower every other day and no one can tell. Some people can't get away with this, but many can. As long as you don't actually smell, you're good.

It's gross if you got sweaty or dirty, but if you're just lazing around at home and it isn't hot or humid out, it shouldn't be a big deal. Your husband should quit micro-managing you, assuming you don't actually reek. ######


Prompt:
Alright for some background, I’m currently in high school (ik, my issue can’t be to significant because of my young age). Also, I workout nearly 3 hours a day in hopes of playing college football eventually. This of course has made me significantly larger than a lot of other individuals my age.

Ok, to the story. So due to the quarantine, I have been going on runs around my neighborhood. I enjoy running shirtless due to the Florida heat. On my route, I’ll usually pass a woman who sits on her porch, and occasionally her son playing basketball in the driveway. Yesterday, the lady flagged me down, so I stopped and looked at her. Before any kind of civil greeting, this lady starts lecturing me on decency and how it makes her son self conscious (he is at least 3 years younger btw). I told her sorry he felt that way, but it was to hot to run with my shirt on, and I started up on my route again. When I looped back around, she ran out in front of me trying to make me stop again. I just ran around her.

When I got home and told my mother, she said the lady was out of line, but did have a point. I was surprised she had never even batted an eye to the notion before, but made me think maybe I was in the wrong here. ######

Response:
 NTA. Plenty of people run without shirts on. Just because you're stronger/bigger than other people doesn't mean you should have to start wearing a shirt when you run. Don't change yourself because someone else is self-conscious.
As long as you're not like running naked it's fine. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway, mobile,  all that jazz.

Tonight I was a Suspicious Sally and checked my husband's text messages from his smart watch. I see a series of messages to an unsaved number and while they're not explicit they essentially allude to wanting to meet up again. The weird thing is that it only displayed one side of the conversation, the responses from my husband's phone.

I confronted him and he insisted that he didn't know what I was talking about. I get his watch and show him. He shows me his phone and says they aren't in there so he's not sure why they're on his watch.

I pulled up our text history from our phone carrier and it very clearly shows sent and received messages from that number today. I searched the past 90 days (as far back as it goes) and there weren't any other matches (just today).

Then I Googled the number and it shows that it belongs to an escort. He says that proves that he's innocent because how could he get away with paying for it? And as for an affair,  when would he have time. I manage the money and watch it like a hawk so I definitely would notice it. But he could certainly have credit that I'm not aware of.

He hasn't been defensive,  just confused and agrees that it's fucked up and he'd be pissed if reversed.

So Reddit, AITA for not believing him/being suspicious? ######

Response: NTA. Please, girl. You know he's a liar. Why are you even asking reddit? Pack your bags. ######


Prompt:
I feel rather childish about feeling so jealous of my sisters birthday and know that as an 18 year old I should have more control over my emotions. Yet I have this petty feeling that celebrating her birthday is unfair since we never celebrated mine. I turned 18 this year and instead of doing anything with my family my dad went to Mexico, my sister locked herself in her room, and I sat alone at home and ate cake in the dark.  I was expecting to just celebrate it when my family got back but whenever I’d bring it up my dad would alway ask to do it later and remind me I got a big gift card for Christmas so he’s not going to get me anything (I have an early January birthday).  The gift thing wasn’t a problem since I didn’t actually ask for anything but when he finally agreed to celebrate my birthday he was intoxicated my sister left as soon as she got food to eat in her room and I ate in my room since his intoxication was super triggering.  I feel like I lost my last chance to celebrate since I’ll be in college next year and am still really upset about the whole thing.  I’ve brought it up with my dad a couple times but he didn’t seem to get it and now I’m worried that I’m gonna be an asshole when the inevitable feelings of jealousy and sadness come up tomorrow during my sisters birthday.  Would it be unreasonable to leave the room if I’m starting to feel the negative emotions or should I grin and bear it?  I made her a cake and now kinda just wanna not be a part of the celebration.  I feel like either way I’ll mess things up and idk what’s the least dickish way to go about this.

TLDR:  am I the asshole for not wanting to celebrate my sisters birthday after not having mine celebrated?

(Sorry if the spelling of grammar sucks I’m super dyslexic) ######

Response: NTA. Please take care of yourself and your own emotional well-being. :( ######


Prompt:
There’s this girl I know who is moving apartments; however, there is a 4 day difference between the end of her current lease and the start of her new one.

She said she was looking for a place to stay (I think money is tight so a hotel is not ideal), so I offered to let her spend those nights at my apartment on my sofa. She said no and that it was fine. Over the next few days she kept bringing up her problem again so I kept offering in total, I offered ~5 times. The last time, I specifically told her that would be the final offer and of she said no and later changed her mind, I’d say no.

Well now she’s gone and changed her mind and is asking again. It really isn’t an inconvenience for me, but I continually offered it to her, and she rejected knowing full well that I would say know if she asked. So I told her no.

I mentioned this to a friend of mine who says I’m being an asshole.

So uh AITA? I guess if I am then I’ll offer it again... ######

Response: NTA. Please don’t be a pushover she’s clearly using you as a last resort. ######


Prompt:
I’ll try to keep this short... my fiancé and I have been together for 5 years now. I knew very early in the relationship I had no intention of taking his last name. After the first year or so of dating when we talked about the future I mentioned I wouldn't want to take his last name because I like my last name. I’m second generation Italian and my last name reflects that. It’s an important aspect of who I am and my fiancé at the time understood. I said I probably would be fine if any kids we had had his last name and we dropped the conversation since it was so early in the relationship.

Fast forward four years we are obviously much closer to actually having kids then when we had that initial conversation. I mentioned today that I’m not sure I want the kids to just have his last name. I explained that it didn’t seem fair for them to be half genetically mine, and for me to carry them for nine months but for their names only to reflect him. I listed some options other people do, hyphenating the names, using one last name as a middle name, making a new combined last name, etc. To be clear this would only be for the kids I’m not asking him to change his name.

He said this wasn’t fair because he had already “compromised” by saying I could keep my name and that I told him the kids could have his last name so I can’t change my mind. I told him I’ve changed my mind as we have matured and the prospect of kids has become more real (which in my mind seems more fair then holding me to an off hand comment several years ago) but he is still extremely upset and not talking to me.

So reddit, AITA for not wanting to just use my fiancé’s last name for our kids? ######

Response:
 NTA. Please don't marry someone who doesn't respect your autonomy, think about things any more deeply than 'its tradition', or argue points in a manner more sophisticated than 'no backsies'.

The idea that he's 'letting' you keep your name makes me want to vom. ######


Prompt:
So my (19f) boyfriend (20m) was on the Ps4 last night playing GTA with his friends. I was sitting on the couch watching him when he started talking about me.

They were asking him gross questions and he was *answering* them after I kept throwing stuff at him trying to get him to stop.

He started talking about the sex positions I like, kinks and stuff I have, the noises I make, things we do in the bedroom, started talking about my body and told them he wishes he could show them my ass and tits and etc talking about how big they are and shit.

After that he started making “jokes” about how he’d let them take turns with me for “the right price”. He thought it was hilarious but it stopped being funny after like 1 minute. I kept telling him to turn it off and shut up because ew.

But they kept going on about certain features of my body and how he’ll show them for some money. He claimed he was joking but I was upset at this point in time. So I got up and unplugged his Ps4 so that he couldn’t say anything more to his friends. He Told me he was doing a “quest” or whatever and that I was being so uptight and a prude and that I need to “chill” because it was all jokes. Apparently I am overreacting for being upset.

AITA for getting upset and sleeping on the couch tonight and being a “prude” while he overshared things about our sex life and made horrible jokes? ######

Response: NTA. Please break up with your boyfriend. He has no respect for you and he essentially views you as a sex object for his entertainment. ######


Prompt:
My roomate and I aren't the most well off people but I like to save a bit of cash and buy the good stuff. Butter instead of margerine, fresh instead of packaged. It's like the ONE thing I splurge on to try and be healthy.

I asked if it was cool to have our own shelves in the fridge since we often buy similar things and it's easy to forget who's is who's. Also because he used this as a frequent excuse as to why he ate my things. (He will EVENTUALLY replace it but it's always the unhealthy cheap version, not what I actually bought. He agreed.

He keeps putting his stuff on my shelf, and then eating my food saying he "forgot" and that he thought it was his. I reminded him multiple times mentioning "hey man, I'm not rich, I can't feed us both :p " he laughs and agrees.

So the other day a bunch of my stuff was missing again and a bunch of his stuff was on my shelf (probably a prepped setup for the "oh I mistaken the items since it's all mixed!" Excuse) .

Instead of bringing it up I just ate the things he put on my shelf. And he got really upset saying he can't afford that.

I feel bad now, but at the time it felt justified. To be clear I'm not against sharing my stuff, but to be *asked* would be nice. Plus I like my own space to be able to see what I still have / what I need etc. I don't know if I'm overreacting because it's JUST a shelf, but I'm a broke student and it seems like a good way to keep track of my stuff.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Maybe he’ll stop with the stupid, transparent excuses now. ######


Prompt:
I was looking at an Instagram video of two black teens giving clothes and shoes to a white guy (yes, race is important here) because he was bullied in school for his clothes. It was really wholesome and to me did not at all make the impression that it was for clout.

I went on to look at the comments and saw some guy commenting „They just gave back what they stole anyways“ and then replying to other comments making it clear he was racist. I checked his profile and it turned out he was/is a student athlete at high school and playing football for the varsity team. Long story short: I wrote an e-mail to the school asking them if it was okay with them that their players publicly out themselves as being racist and submitted screenshots of his profile and comments.

I haven‘t received a reply by the school yet, because this happened like 20 minutes ago but I am kinda wondering... did I do the right thing? I could have as well just minded my business, it was just an internet comment and it might cost him his career. ######

Response: NTA. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. He didn’t have to publicly post those comments on the video but he did. If he really cared about his future and image he wouldn’t be acting as he did. So you didn’t do anything wrong except out a racist and probably taught him a lesson at the same time ######


Prompt:
My 8yo daughter has been staying at my Ex's for the past fortnight. We have a shared custody arrangement and she enjoys staying over there  as my Ex's wife also has a daughter several years older who she looks up to. Depsite being long separate, I would say the arrangement had previously being working well given the circumstances.

Unfortunately, things turned for the worst when I went to pick up my daughter last Friday night. I had discovered that my daughter had gotten her ears pierced without my permission. She already had her ears pierced once before and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw she was wearing 3 earrings on one ear and 5 on the other including one up in the cartilage. Initially I thought they must have been magnet earrings or something but then I saw the earring posts at the back of her ears and they were indeed all pierced.

I asked my Ex's wife who was present how did this happen and she said that her daughter wanted her ears pierced again and my daughter wanted the same. Apparently she had a piercing gun and they did it at home. She was going on how my daughter was so brave getting this done. I went off at her and said that it may be o.k for her daughter who is in her early teens but my daughter is way too young and what was she thinking. I also said the least they could have done is call me first and that I will be reconsidering custody arrangements now. My Ex's wife responded by saying that her father was o.k with it and they didn't need my permission.

When we got home I removed the earrings from my daughter's ears. This upset her as she wanted them to remain. She is now asking to go back to her father's place to stay. AITA here or was my reaction justified? ######

Response: NTA. piercing guns are dangerous and can cause massive issues with healing, you have no idea if it was done in a sterile environment and if the person had any training with hepatitis or infection prevention, also cartilage piercings are harder to heal, they take longer and can get infected easily. also there are nerves in the cartilage that if pinched can cause damage. I'd take your kid to a dr to get tested, piercing guns are made of plastic and cannot be properly sterilized between uses. ######


Prompt:
my mom dropped her phone in the toilet at WORK the other day. she put her phone in rice for 40ish hours, and today, she USED THAT RICE TO MAKE LUNCH.

i told her there's no way im eating that, because her phone was in it. even if it hadnt dropped in a toilet, its DISGUSTING. she said its okay, since she disinfected her phone after it fell in the toilet and she washed the rice before making it.

i still absolutely refuse to eat it, she said that im being nitpicky and that its not a big deal. AITA??? ######

Response: NTA. Phones are extremely germy and filthy and even though she disinfected it I still wouldn't want rice that has had TOILET water on it. Idc if that stuff got washed, that's still gross IMO ######


Prompt:
So I (F18) have pretty severe arachnophobia. I’ve never been officially diagnosed, but seeing spiders can send me into what I call “cringe attacks” where I kinda spasm uncontrollably for a few minutes while physically cringing, and there have been a few cases where seeing too many spiders in one place or too close has caused me to have panic attacks. I’m not scared of them hurting me (I live in a country where they’re usually harmless) I just can’t deal with how they look or move. I can’t even look at videos or pictures of them.

I’ve dealt with this for as long as I can remember and have usually relied on my parents (mostly my dad) to get rid of spiders for me if I see them. I try my best not to be a bother but my parents usually get angry at me anyway because of what I do to avoid them. (I won’t shower if there’s one by the bath, I’ll avoid going to the toilet for as long as possible if there’s one nearby, I’ll refuse to go in areas of the house where spiders usually are, etc). There have been several occasions where I’ve gotten into trouble for trying to sleep downstairs or in the hallway because I woke up at 4/5am with a spider in my room and didn’t want to wake anyone up to make them get rid of it.

I’ve brought up therapy a few times but they both just say I’m being difficult and that I’m overreacting and need to get over it myself. I can’t set up my own appointment because I’m autistic and have social anxiety. Even if I could, I wouldn’t be able to go to an appointment now because of the current situation.

I’m not sure what else to do, but maybe they’re right? AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. Phobias aren’t choices. You’ve expressed to your parents that you would willingly participate in therapy and that it’s something you want to do, and instead of enabling that they are continuing to complain about and berate you about a problem they're standing in the way of solving.

The positive here is that you are an adult and can make the decision to engage in therapy on your own. If your social anxiety and autism keeps you from being able to call or approach the therapist over the phone or in person, is there someone trusted in your friend group or at school that you could have help with the process? There’s also online therapy that can be done without having a counselor face-to-face, either through email or text chat. I would urge you to look into all of your options there. ######


Prompt:
About 6 weeks ago as we were leaving our house we saw a pet rabbit on the road outside our house. It was already dark out. We get home 2 hours later and it's still there.

We park the car and I go onto the road to see if I can catch it - it runs right up to me so I pick it up and take it inside. It's late now so I decide to look for the owner the next day.

We ask around our neighbours. No one knows who's it is.

So we just keep it.

Last Friday my partner was talking to a little girl outside our house, he was playing with our cat and she said she used to have a rabbit that's the same colour but she lost him. This is the rabbit we found.. Identical colouring.

So she runs off to get her mum to ask if she can have the rabbit back. Mum turns up and says yes so I hand over the rabbit and the food I'd bought for it.

This morning at about 5.30am I wake up early and go sit in my garden. Suddenly the rabbit runs up and sits next to me. I pick it up and take it inside. I hadn't tidied up its food dish yet (yes I am lazy for that one) and it just ate and ate like it hadn't eaten in days. I gave them the food!!

Also it was still dark. I went out on to the street and no lights are on in the houses (I didn't look to see exactly which one they lived in but I know the rough area.. All lights off in all of them) so they've obviously let the rabbit out all night.

WIBTA if I keep the rabbit and if they ask tell them I haven't seen it. I feel bad for the little girl but I'm really angry at the mum. My feelings towards the mum don't matter though, just want to keep the rabbit safe. ######

Response: NTA. Pet rabbits shouldn't be free range. You're just trying to protect it. The owner doesn't seem to have much knowledge or care for it. ######


Prompt:
I will try to keep this as concise as possible.

My wife and I have been together for going on 27 years. We met at a pretty low point in both of our lives, coming from broken homes and an unhealthy dependency on food. We both probably weighed around 300lbs, and though our weight has fluctuated over the years we both currently sit at around 350lbs and 450lbs respectively, with her being the latter.

I cook all the food that we eat as my wife is unable to be on her feet long enough to make meals. I am completely okay with this, as I’ve really been able to hone in on my cooking skills over the years and can essentially throw down in the kitchen. When my oldest daughter told us she was pregnant a few months back, it really made me reevaluate our lifestyle choices. I wanna be able to run around with my grandkids, but I can’t do that in my current situation. Over the course of several months I’ve been looking into healthier alternatives of our favorite foods and trying to exercise more, slowly implementing both into our lives and my wife was initially on board.

More recently she’s stopped wanting to workout with me which I respected, but I’ve continued to cook healthier meals and she no longer wants to eat them. I’ve stopped buying junk and with a suspended license she can’t drive to get fast food, so I assumed she would just eat what I made like she always has. She feels like I’m forcing a lifestyle into her that she never agreed to, but I’m not pushing her to eat what I’ve made or workout. I suggested she could learn to cook what she wants and I would even help her, but I won’t continue to cook foods I no longer want to eat. Does this make me TA? ######

Response: NTA. Personally I'd think enabling what is probably an addiction would make you TA. You're not forcing her to workout or degrading her. You shouldn't have to make double the meals. Encourage her to get therapy. ######


Prompt:
The wife has a strong passion for cooking. She cooks every night, with the exception of Friday where we go out to eat (or order in right now because of the current situation)

We have two daughters, who are 13 and 17. Usually as a family we clear the table, put the dishes in the sink, put leftovers in the Tubberware, and wipe down any spills or messes. The girls tend to make a mess at dinner so it teaches them responsibility, and me and my wife can’t do it all by ourselves.

Last night, wifey made lasagna with garlic bread and some Italian salad. She rarely cooks lasagna since it is a mess to clean up. Anyways we finish dinner, and the girls disappear out of nowhere and head to their rooms, which left me and the wife to clean up everything.

My wife was particularly upset because she had spent to much time cooking (she could have made one of those Stouffer’s frozen lasagnas and a bagged salad kit) and was tired and had to do twice the work we would usually do.

So tonight we decided to put our daughters to work and cook dinner for everyone. We printed out instructions for them, my 17 year old was handling the stovetop and the 13 year old handled the oven. They had no help whatsoever (except for small tips here and there)

As we were eating, they seemed cold and didn’t want to talk to us. The 13 year old thinks we overreacted and “her friends never have to help clean the table” We were originally planning to make the girls clean the table by themselves but felt bad and cleaned it as a family.

I honestly feel bad now, maybe we should have just made them clear the table by themselves instead of having them cook, put my wife thinks I was fair since the girls now know how much effort their mom puts into cooking and how tedious it is. ######

Response:
 NTA. Personally I probably would've made them come back and help last night, but cooking one dinner because they bailed on cleaning up is super reasonable. They're old enough they should be learning how to cook anyway (especially the 17 year old but even 13 is plenty old enough to know your way around a kitchen)

The best punishments are also skills. You didn't randomly take their electronics or something that's totally unrelated. You're teaching them the amount of work that actually goes into a home cooked dinner and that they need to value other people's efforts for them. Honestly good job ######


Prompt:
So I was selling a couple of my son’s old baby items online and as I was cleaning out the garage, I saw a Bugaboo pram set we borrowed from a friend when my son was younger.  So I called her to see if she wanted to come to get it and she asked if I could sell it with my items for her and she wants $300 for it, and sure I’m fine with that.

So a few people had some interest in the pram and I finally got an interested buyer one evening who would come and collect it for the $300 the next morning. We swapped numbers, address etc and in my eyes its sold unless she doesn’t come and get it in the morning.

In the morning I had another lady message me about the pram and I advised her that it’s pretty much sold pending pick up/payment and that the lady is actually coming to collect it this morning and if she doesn’t get here by lunchtime I will release it to her instead, because the deal was morning pick up/payment. This new lady was quite desperate it seems and offers me $350 if I cancel the other lady now and give her the pram. But I said no sorry its sold pending and I’m not sure if the lady is already in her car driving to my house I just can’t call her and turn her around if she were.

I told my friend this happened when I gave her her money and she calls me TA because I didn’t cancel one woman and accept the other woman and get her the better price and now she’s responding to me with one word responses. WTH? ######

Response: NTA. Perhaps your friend should’ve sold her own damn pram if she could’ve done it better. ######


Prompt:
So this happened last year. I got engaged back in 2018, and chose my wedding party, 3 of my closest friends, and my fiancé chose his brother and 2 of his friends. Growing up, I was not close to my younger sister (then brother). There wasn't any bad blood or anything, we just don't have a lot in common and barely speak.

About 2 months before my wedding, my sister came out as a trans woman. I was happy for her that she's finally living her true life. Shortly after, she approached me and asked to be one of my bridesmaids, saying that it would basically be a sort of milestone for her in her new life as a woman. I told her no, because we already had everything planned out and the wedding was just a few weeks away. I told her I fully supported her if she wanted to wear a dress to the wedding, but it would be hard to include her at that last minute. She said she understood and didn't bring it up again. She ended up not attending the wedding, despite RSVPing yes. My parents and I tried reaching out several times over last year to see if she was okay, but she kept telling us she was fine and that she needed to be alone.

We finally talked recently and she told me she 'boycotted' my wedding because she knew the reason that I didn't want her as a bridesmaid was that she looked very masculine still. That isn't true at all. She insists that if I didn't find the way she looked objectionable, I would have included her. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. People will always, always make someone else’s wedding about themselves. She should have spoken more with you about it instead of boycotting your wedding altogether. ######


Prompt: So I am 15M I am currently going through a serious depression I have recently started anti depressants and hopefully they will help alongside therapy. My sister who is 21F is a "micro influencer" which is marketing terms for people who have over 50k followers on a platform but don't have enough followers to throw a bunch of money at. Today she made a post on Instagram on her page that has 67k followers saying this. "Somone very close to me who I watched grow into the person they are today is suffering with depression. I have seen them become a shell of there former self what was a person who could always make me slime couldn't even do it themselves. After seeing somone I am so close to experience depression I have fully come to realize the importance of mental health I would like to advise all of my followers to always keep there mental health in mind." That is very much paraphrasing because the original post isn't up anymore. But here I was laying in bed at 2 pm on a Wednesday struggling to find the will power to go and do anything. My sister is sub texting me on Instagram for free engagement. She never talks to me maybe once she was showed any concern and that was when she realized that I lost a lot of weight. Which she congratulated me on not even thinking about the fact I have been borderline underweight my whole life. So I called her on the phone and went off on her for making the post. She took it down but my mom was saying she was just trying to do something nice and I call bullshit she was using a mental health post in increase her engagement rate. ######

Response: NTA. People who use other people’s conditions for clout if fucking disgusting. ######


Prompt:
AITA for not speaking to my sister until I get an apology

So I’m currently not speaking to my sister, being stuck inside is getting to her and we’re all a bit tense and fighting more, but over the last few months she’s taken to saying that I constantly insult her and that I’m a horrible sister. Bc of everything this has obviously happened more often and my brother has told me that my sister has repeatedly told my brother I have said that I’m always horrible to her.

For clarification, me and my sister have always got along very well, granted she can be annoying, and act out because she’s young, but I NEVER insult her, the worst I have done is call her out on her bad behaviour but I never insult her, I just don’t. Let alone say the things she’s accusing me of.

I ask her not to eat the strawberries with my name on them that I bought? Tells people I’m calling her fat

I ask her to leave my room bc I wanna be alone bc I’m talking about stuff I don’t want her hearing on the phone? I hate her and don’t wanna speak to her

When we were allowed I spent a lot of time at my boyfriends, in a fit of rage she has repeatedly said she likes it better when I’m not here.

I am tired of being told that I’m horrible and that I constantly insult her when I literally never do, so I’m not speaking to her until she apologises, my mum thinks I should drop it bc “she’s young and sHeS bEcOmInG a TeEnAgEr” and thinks I’m mean, but personally I know she’s extremely smart and picks up on things my mum thinks she doesn’t, and I think at almost 13 years old she’s old enough to take responsibility for her actions since I’ve taken this shit for months. ######

Response:
 NTA. People tend to act out at people closest to them. It looks like your sister is doing the same. And considering her age she probably doesn't know how to deal with certain and possibly new feelings/emotions yet. It's always so much easier to make someone else the bad guy than to deal with your emotions. Yay for puberty.

It can also be a very inefficient way to get your attention. As you get older relationships change and the way you spent time together. Try to make some time and do something together that you used to do. Hopefully this will help her break out of this negative focus on you and stop her from overreacting when she's  experiencing negative emotions. ######


Prompt: My wife and I had our second baby two months ago. We were pretty indecisive with a name and nothing really shined for us.  Eventually one of the options grew on me and turned into my top choice. My wife also liked it but was concerned because a former coworker/friend had used the name for her daughter about a year prior.  The name isn't rare but also not one of the most common.  Now, she was fairly close with this coworker when they worked together over two years ago and they remain in contact via Facebook and texting. They have only seen each other once in the last 2+ years since my wife left the job despite only living 15 minutes away from each other and my wife doesn't expect this to change.  The coworker recently told my wife that she was very upset we used her baby's name and also the same spelling and she is slowly getting over it.  Personally I feel obligated to avoid names of family members or close friends but not coworkers that I don't even hang out with outside work.  AWTA? ######

Response: NTA. People pick the same name. They're in no position to demand that you don't use a particular name. If people could "claim" names we'd have far fewer Mikes in the world. ######


Prompt:
I've been in between on the issue. I love animals so maybe that's clouding my judgment.

My close friend's brother is Autistic and is classified as high functioning. She's his roommate but will be moving out in June. They have a cat who is a sweetheart. When I sleepover she's my cuddle bug. Sake of the story I'll call her Fluff. For some reason her brother says Fluff is his cat but yells at her constantly for small things like sitting on the sofa, sniffing his clothes, ect. I was disappointed to hear my friend wasn't taking Fluff when she moves out. Her brother just found a potential roommate whose allergic to cats. They plan on giving Fluff away now. Her brother knows this but constantly tells everyone who comes into the house they're getting rid of her because she's a terrible cat. I try to change the subject or leave but he keeps saying it. Well now he's topped it by saying he hopes someone adopts her when she's in the 'pound' but if no one does and she gets euthanized he'll understand. I've tried to shrug this off and say it's his disorder, but the way he treats Fluff and the way he's acting was hurting me I snapped and told him Fluff is leaving for his new roommate, not because she's 'bad', she'll likely find a way better loving home with an owner who actually deserves her. My friend has scolded me for this by reminding me he can't help what he's saying and refuses to let me back in her place until I shape up. Was I wrong here Reddit? ######

Response: NTA. People need to stop treating autistic people (especially high functioning) like useless babies. He knows that how he is acting isn't appropriate. Good on you for calling him out because, it seems obvious that no one else is holding/teaching him to acting like a decent person. ######


Prompt:
So, a little bit of background.

My sister proposed to my mom the idea that her friends come up to our summer house for a week. My mom was super reluctant to say yes. But, on top of that, my grandma is here. My grandma said as long as they socially distance and we take their temperatures that it is ok to have them up here.

Well, my sister knew (and I just found out) that one of the friends families are hosting a pool party with about 20-30 ish people. My sister didn’t tell my mom because she knew if she did it would be cancelled. Obviously. I found out through a friend of mine and promptly told my mom in genuine fear of our health and especially my grandmothers. I had no motive other than that because I had some mutual friends I was happy to hang out with. My sister is now telling her friends what I did and now I feel guilty. I may be the Asshole because I ruined my sisters big plans. But I still feel like I did the right thing. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. People need to grow up and do the right thing until this is over. You did the right thing, she did not. This is how people get sick, and this is how people die. ######


Prompt:
I (21m) plan on proposing to my partner early next year and we have been jokingly talking about it for months and months. what kind of dress she would like and what sort of venue would be perfect etc. the other day we were talking about who would be attending and i immediately said i do not want my dad there, he was never really there for me when i was growing up and had a tendency to be horrible towards me and my two half sisters (mums side of the family) to the point i dont have any good childhood memories of him, then when i was about 11 he just walked out of my life and has only come back in the past year acting like he never did any wrong. my gf of six years having only met my father on 2 occasions and having never really had a proper conversation with him immediately said that i was in the wrong and should invite him regardless of what hes done in the past.

am i the asshole for not wanting him at my wedding? ######

Response: NTA. People get caught up in blood realations and the idea of "But they're *family*" meaning that you need to forgive them for pretty much anything. They don't get that being related by blood doesn't stop some people from being horrible. ######


Prompt:
I(20f) live with my bf(24) and I’m allergic to cats

Last week I came home to find him on the couch petting a very chonky cat. He knows I am allergic but told me that his friend needed to get rid of it so he took it. The cat sheds its fur a lot and my eyes burn, I’m constantly sneezing and I break out in hives. My bf also lets the cat sleep in our bed so I can’t sleep there.

I told him that he needs to get rid of the cat as i feel like absolute shit because of my allergy. I’ve tried taking allergy medicine but it doesn’t work very well for me. WIBTA if I made him get rid of it ######

Response:
 NTA. People can't get pets without consulting the other humans they live with. That's just a basic rule of living with others.

It's actually pretty weird that your BF doesn't care about how this is affecting you. Is he planning on getting rid of the cat and this is temporary? ######


Prompt:
I know it’s a weird title, sorry. Also on mobile so layout might be strange.

So around a year ago I (M15) was diagnosed with Leukemia. Six months later and I was having a life saving bone marrow transplant. I was in the same room for a month, tired and sleeping 6 hours a day and 12 at night. I have now (almost) fully recovered but my muscles have a while to go before I am back to my fully fit self. I can walk and jump but I can’t run or joy without lots of effort and pain in my joints.

Anyway today I went on a dog walk with my mother (44) and my sister (12). My sister has a brain tumour, diagnosed just a few months after me. Unlucky, I know. She has to wear a splint on her leg and has extremely limited movement in her right arm and leg.

Halfway through the walk our dog, who’s an 18 week old puppy runs to see a dog. My mum is holding the lead and lets go, meaning our puppy can now run off to see the other dog. My mum has for some reason come out wearing sandals and therefore can’t run after him. She doesn’t even make the effort. She instantly looks back at me and yells ‘well run then!’ I say back: ‘I can’t!’ I give a desperate attempt to jog but it hurts too much to run. Our puppy at this point is simply wagging his tail 5 feet away and sniffing the other dog. Not moving anywhere. My mum walks up to him and grabs his lead, then looks back at me and says, ‘it’s like I have to babysit for you all the time. You can’t do anything by yourself. It’s like you’re a 5 year old.’ I can’t argue back because she hates being wrong. She doesn’t take a single bit of the blame even though she dropped the lead in the first place. AITA for not trying to run?

TL:DR I had to have a bone marrow transplant and stayed in a bed for ages, meaning it hurts lots to run. On a dog walk and mum let’s go of lead, expects me to run after dog. I try but can’t. She calls me a 5 year old and makes me feel embarrassed and like an asshole. AITA for not running after the dog? ######

Response: NTA. People around you should be understanding of your medical conditions and help you out. You can’t help your physical condition and they should understand your limitations and support you. ######


Prompt:
Just to note - I'm a 3rd year paramedic student (in my country it's a 4 year degree). Not that it really makes a lot of difference here though.

I have a friend who's been constantly complaining for roughly 2 months now about feeling horribly sick. I believe her, especially within the past week she's looked sick. When asked about symptoms, it's all pretty vague - nonspecific generalized lower abdominal pain, malaise, intermittent fever, headache, etc.

It's every day she's complaining about being sick, and she refuses to go to the doctor because of the current events. I've just been letting her complain to me, and it's pretty annoying. I believe her, it's just overwhelming to hear all the time. It's only 10AM, and she's already started - so I told her to either go to the doctor or stop complaining to everyone. She's angry.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. People are usually sick for days or weeks, not *months* (unless it’s something really bad). If this has been going on that long, she needs to see a doctor, because there’s a chance it could be something fairly serious. ######


Prompt:
So, me and my boyfriend have been dating for
about 5 1/2 months, and I quit martial arts
because I got bored around the time we started dating, but I want to get back into it after quarantine is over. Its been an ongoing issue with us for the last couple of months because its "dangerous" and I've gotten hurt a couple times before.

He says he feels like when I didn't do a sport like him it was a similarity between us and that similarity will go away if I start martial arts again.  But, my mom already signed up for my classes to start again after quarantine. To quit again would be a hassle to convince my mom, and I also love martial arts because it helps me release anger and makes me confident in myself.

I told him that it was unfair of him to ask that of me, because I've been doing martial arts for years. I also brought up to him that he's making me bend over backwards for him even though he always asks me not to do that for people. I gave him my reasons I wasn't going to quit, and then he went off about how he should leave since he's a "horrible boyfriend" and makes me not do the things I like.

Even though he has flaws, I know he isn't a horrible boyfriend. I tried to convince him that he isn't a horrible boyfriend and told him that I wouldn't still be fighting to be his girlfriend if he was horrible. I then just asked for us to make a decision about the break up once we both have a clear mind to think reasonably which I guess he complied with.

I don't know if i'm the asshole here or him. AiTA?

also sorry for the bad formatting, I have no clue how to format. ######

Response: NTA. Partners should be excited for each other trying new things/being involved with things they love. He doesn't want you to do it because not doing a sport is something you have in common right now? That's a load of crap. He sounds insecure and clingy. ######


Prompt:
I guess this is a pet peeve more than anything else, but in my family we always asked if someone wants the last piece of cake, slice of pizza, whatever. That was just the norm for me (and tbh i thought it was like this for everyone, but I guess not my bf). My boyfriend tends to naturally eat more and eat quicker than I do, so I often find myself looking for another pizza slice only to realize he's already eaten the rest of the pie. I've asked him to check with me before he does that and I've reminded him before to not finish everything off cause sometimes I'm still hungry, but he either forgets or doesn't care and often still eats everything. I think he just zones out when he's eating and forgets to double check, but it's seriously getting on my nerves lately.

So now I've just been taking more food than I usually eat, like 3 or 4 pizza slices instead of my normal 2. This way if I DO end up being hungry I actually have food to eat, and if I don't want it I can just put it back. We share food all the time and neither of us are germaphobes or anything. He's been getting annoyed by this and saying I'm being "extra" and he'll just remember to not eat it all, except he's already shown that he can't. Now basically if he wants that 6th slice of pizza, he has to wait until I'm done with my 2 and wait for me to decide if I want a 3rd/4th or not. If I don't then I'll give it to him. This doesn't only occur with pizza btw, but just an example lol. Please also note he's not still hungry or anything, like he's mostly full but just wants some more cause it tastes good or whatever. Anyway AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Parents need to start teaching their little boys that they don't get to just devour all the good and easy food in the house because they are hungry or just want to eat it. It's mind-boggling to me how many posts there are on here and relationship advice Reddits about full grown men eating all the leftovers or good snacks without thinking of leaving any for anyone else, including their own children. ######


Prompt:
My husband is very upset with me for a situation that happened yesterday, just wanting some outside opinions on it.

I am a stay at home mum to a 10 month old and 3 year old. Yesterday my mum invited us around for lunch to catch up with the family which we went to and was fine and my friends wanted to catch up for afternoon tea. I was initially going to take the baby with me which was husband's preferred option to that but as she had had a busy day with no nap so I put her down before I left.

Husband is upset because she woke up after 20 minutes and fell back asleep on him for the duration of me being away. He said he had anxiety that she would wake up and want a milk feed or scream her head off and he wouldn't know what to do and is also upset that we agreed that I would be away for a shorter period of time - I was with my friends for 2 hours then he asked me to pick up tea and the line was long taking about 45 min so was away for 3 hours total.

I felt he should be feeling more comfortable looking after baby as she is 10 months old now, I breastfed her before I left so she didn't need milk and is generally a happy chill wee girl. I suggested he should start doing more for her,  especially given I go back to work in 2 months time so she needs to get used to other people looking after her. She was sweet as when I was away by the way. He thinks I'm an asshole for turning it back on him and not seeing his perspective.

So, AITA?

Edit just to add he had hoped to have some time to himself so having little one wake up threw a spanner in the works. He did what he would have done anyway just with child asleep on him, watching Netflix and he gets time to himself in the evenings too while I'm usually up and down with kids not wanting to go to bed.

Also I remembered I got my hair done friday and he looked after the kids for a similar amount of time with no worries. I really don't know what's up ######

Response: NTA. Parenting is supposed to be done together and watching her for 2 hours shouldn't be too hard, especially when you seem to take care of her the rest of the time. He could and should help you more and/or help you pay for a babysitter because it isn't fair for him to make you take care of her like 99% of the time. ######


Prompt:
So, my (22 F)  mom (55) is a very passive-aggressive person. She’s not a nice lady, so much so that if my dad (an amazing human being) wasn’t around, I’d write her off forever and not regret a second of the rest of my life. She makes snide and downright tasteless comments about everything in my life, but this time was about my weight. I know I’m over weight, but I’m so tired of her sh*t. She’s not any better than me, she’s been overweight and diabetic my whole life. Her mom died two years ago and had advanced Alzheimer’s. It runs in her family (I’m adopted).

A couple days ago, she said, “one day you’re going to get diabetes and die and I’m not going to feel bad for you.” It had been a long ass day, plus I’m quarantined with this lady, so I said, “Well, you’re going start to lose your mind one day and we’ll see who’s left to take care of you.” She kinda looked at me and left the room.

It’s been 3 days and she hasn’t talked to me. I feel like I may have crossed a line, but I also feel like she might have deserved it after all the soul-crushing stuff she’s said to me my whole life. I can and will list more stuff she’s said if y’all need more context to our relationship. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Overweight or not you don’t deserve to be treated like shit. I’d say you gave her exactly what she gave you and nothing uncalled for or excessive. ######


Prompt:
So my dog is 4 years old and I just found out she has cancer.  The vet said that it was caught early and that with surgery and chemotherapy it’s very likely that she’ll have a full recovery and live a full life like she never had it.  The only thing is that she estimates it would cost between 9-10k for the treatment. I don’t have pet insurance, but instead I’ve been putting $100/week into a separate bank account just in case something like this happened.

Now when I told my gf of 2 years about my dog, she asked what I was going to do, since it’s not like she expected me to have that kind of money lying around.  And if I hadn’t been saving money specifically for my dog, I probably wouldn’t be able to afford her treatment.  When I told her about the money and that I was going to pay for the surgery, she was upset because 1. She didn’t know about the account and 2. I’d be spending so much money when she’s out of a job and struggling.  She moved in with me a few months ago and doesn’t have to pay rent.  We haven’t really discussed finances that much, but I know being laid off has hurt her.

She thinks that I shouldn’t spend it on my dog and wants me to save the money for if/when we get married or have kids.  I told her that I’m going to do it and I’m going to schedule my dogs treatment soon.  With all that’s happening, neither of us have been able to spend time away from each other, so we haven’t said much the past 24 hours and she’s still upset that I’m picking my dog over our future.  So, AITA for spending so much money on my dog? ######

Response: NTA. Our cat was only 2.5 when he became very ill. We were also in the midst of a massive (200K) renovation on our house. The vet said, "save him or put him down." It was Christmas, house, 3 kids, 25th wedding anniversary.... When I called hubby I said, "let this be my anniversary and Christmas gift." He is usually quite generous at milestones. He replied, "save the cat but you're still getting Christmas presents." Kids also volunteered to give up their Christmas for him. Cat is 13 now and we've never regretted saving him. ######


Prompt:
My sister has two children. One is a girl (age 6) and the other a boy (age 2). When the girl first began to walk she was somewhat “bowlegged” as they called it but it straightened really quickly. The boy, however, has always had it worse and is has having trouble walking. He can stand, even run, but falls almost constantly. At times he appears to be in pain.

My sister took her son to a doctor who confirmed he  that his knees caps are basically “slipping”. Braces were prescribed for him and a set were specially fitted. We were told he would only need them for a year or so and then, if not better, we can try surgery. At this moment he’s only worn the braces for 10 minutes. My sister says she can’t stand to see him in them and is afraid others will make fun of him. I know it’s difficult but I tried to tell her he must wear them and if not she’s setting him up for more problems later on. She wouldn’t listen and said  I’m just blindly following the doctor without seeing just “his natural progress”. There is none! He’s not getting better at all. The rest of my family is siding with her by always saying “he looks a little better”. There’s been no change and I’m worried he’s going to have major problems with his legs later in life.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Others are telling you to call CPS. Another option would be to call the doctor who prescribed the braces, tell him/her about the situation and see if they would be willing to make a phone call to your sister to request a follow-up appointment where they can disabuse her of the notion of "his natural progress" and emphasize the importance of wearing the braces. You could also tell your sister you will call CPS unless she starts putting her son in braces. Since image is important to your sister, maybe her fear of looking like a bad mom with a CPS record will be worse than the embarrassment of a child in braces. ######


Prompt:
So some backstory. I have non epileptic seizures that were pretty bad for a while. At that time, we also didn’t know they weren’t epileptic. I was in and out of hospital, in ICUs and medically induced comas, and couldn’t work. It also wrecked my mental health for a while. At the same time, my brother has been living rent free with my parents and is seen as the golden son, despite a long history of theft, violence, and manipulation.

My family had a pretty serious issue with it. They wouldn’t visit while I was in hospital and refused my wife any help when she asked. Last year around easter, I got an email (while in hospital) that I wasn’t welcome home because my illness was disruptive and my mental health “shenanigans” were not welcome. I was deeply hurt. This was the last straw after a year of limited support and while we’ve worked on things since, they’re still very snippy or dismissive if I mention how my health is improving and the progress I’ve been making.

On one hand, I get it. I was probably a little whiny. We thought I was dying or would need brain surgery. We were scared and needed some support and maybe went about asking for it the wrong way. During this time, my mom also had knee surgery (we didn’t ask for help while she recovered). But it still really feels wrong that a family who insist “family above all” couldn’t even make an effort to see me in hospital or allow me to see them and my niece when doing well enough to travel.

Next month, I’m moving with my wife to be with her family in Hawaii. I’ll be five thousand miles away and I’m planning to significantly reduce contact with my family when I move. Am I the asshole for planning this? Should I be giving them another chance? Or am I in the right to cut them out? ######

Response: NTA. OP, for your own health and happiness, please avoid people who treat you like this. It's nice of you to show concern for their views, but ultimately, they have shown that they do not really care about you. It's probably a good idea to just move away. ######


Prompt:
Today during a Zoom meeting, my colleagues and I were discussing the Pandemic and the topic of Self-Check Outs at Grocery Stores was discussed. I then recalled an incident I had a couple of months ago right before Christmas. Although they were laughing at my story, some of them were saying I was an asshole and disrespecting essential workers. A colleague’s exact words: “Girl, Why you being a bitch?”

I was throwing a party at my home and needed more decorations and etc. So I had a late night visit to the nearby 24/7 Walmart. I went a little crazy and bought literally a cart full of useless crap. As I was waiting in line it became apparent that it was going to take a while as the couple in front of me were using WIC checks and the Cashier was giving attitude and denying what items they could use it for. I was okay with waiting, so I didn’t care. The 2nd cashier closed her register and loudly announced she was going on break. Before long another worker approached me, and this was basically the conversion.

Worker: Please come this way, our self-check out stations are open.

(I hate Self-Check Out and have always refuse to do them)

Me: I’m good. I’ll wait for the cashier. Thanks though.

Worker: But we’re open over here. You can check out yourself.

Me: I don’t mind waiting.

Cashier: (Yelling over the couple) You don’t have to wait. You can check yourself out over there.

Me: I don’t mind waiting. I have a lot of stuff. I rather empty my cart on the belt.

Cashier: Sir, Please move your cart to the self-check out.

(At this point I’m annoyed. The worker was now physical gesturing for me to move and the cashier was no longer checking out the couple.)

Me: I’m sorry. Do I work here? Are you guys offering me a job? (While tipping head to the side)

Basically, security was called and a manger got involved which caused a large line to form and people behind me complaining very loudly.

So Was I? ######

Response: NTA. One polite "no thanks" should have been enough. Worker could have moved on to the next person after you said no. ######


Prompt:
I got divorced when my kids were 4 and 5.  Their mother found a new man one year after the split, who she subsequently married and the children have lived with them full time since.

As a single person I’ve struggled financially paying 100% child support as well as my own bills. On the other hand they have had annual foreign ski holidays as they’ve had a double income as well as the child support payments. My ex and I really don’t get along.

I’ve accepted the financial situation always with no issue, pay the child support, live a low cost lifestyle. The kids and I have a great relationship and see eachother weekly. Two years ago I met my current partner, we now live together and our income is about the same as my ex and her husband, although I’m a long way behind financially.

My older child finishes school and turns 18 in November. I no longer have to legally pay child support. She will however go on to college and is likely to stay living with my ex.  She earns enough through her part time job for her own spending money, fuel etc.

I don’t want to pay my ex any more. I know that she’ll say I should as our child still lives with her and I can afford it, but I’d really rather put it towards my mortgage as I’m over 50.

I’d be happy to contribute $ if she moved out, but this is unlikely.  I’d also be happy to have my child move in with me, but this is unlikely.

AITA for not wanting to give my ex any more child support money?

TLDR : I don’t want to pay my ex child support after our child turns 18, even though our child lives with her. ######

Response: NTA. Once your child is 18, you could always arrange to give her some money directly? It could be a regular thing, or an "Here I have some spare bucks this week" or "here, I can pay for that thing for you". Whatever agreement you come to, with your child. Leave your ex out of the equation after 18. ######


Prompt:
Little back story... my wife is a bartender and is working cut hours right now. She’s works with this guy we’ll call Jim.

One day hanging out at home she thinks who she believe is Jim. Goes to work the next day, finds out it was indeed him and he lives in our complex. So she gives him a ride home because he doesn’t have a car, they stop at specs on the way  home. Upon coming home I look out the window to see her walking with jim to his building across the street. She says she’s going to meet his gf. Turns out she is asleep and the guy just wanted to drink and chill. Which I was NOT cool with. Fast forward and this happens a couple more times. I’ve let her know I’m not okay with this, I don’t know him and I’m sick of this guy asking you to hang out.

Now it’s last night, she’s about to get off and I see her on find my friends driving around a random parking g lot after work, then specs, and Then she text me and says she’s off taking him back to his hotel... he doesn’t live in our complex anymore? He’s at a hotel now? So now I’m pissed. She gets there and I see that she stops the car and goes inside. For 10 minutes or so. Let the fighting begin.

AITA for getting my at my wife continually giving a guy a ride home and then going into his hotel after I told her I didn’t like it? ######

Response: NTA. Once you told her you didn't like it it should've either stopped or she should've discussed with you, not disregard your feelings. ######