Prompt:
I apologize for the weird title, I don’t even know where to start with this.

I dipped into my savings and gave my older brother’s son $450 to get himself a used/refurbished PS4 and some games. Josh is 14 and he has been wanting one forever. I wanted to help him get one so we can play together.

I gave him the cash, and I honestly forgot about it for a couple of weeks. I understood he was at his parents mercy to get it, and it may take them some time.

Thought about it recently, called him up and asked him what happened to the PlayStation. He said he decided to do something else with the money, when I asked what he told me he gave it to the church so his family would have more money later. He said his dad would give him a PlayStation when they got the money back.

I’m seeing red. I hang up with him and call my brother and ask him what the fuck they did with my money. He made it a point to tell me that Josh chose to give his money to the church that they watch on TV.

I told him that the money was for a PlayStation. He said that he would buy a PlayStation when they got the money back. I asked for a date on the return, and he didn’t have one. I told him he had a week to give my my money back.

Then he starts crying about how they’re hand to mouth and he can’t afford to give me $450. I told him I didn’t care.

Then his wife goes to Facebook and starts begging my other family members for the money. Talking about how her son made the choice to give to god and not video games, and I’m punishing them for it by taking money from them.

My family is all crying fowl, and telling me that Josh made his choice and I have no right to demand the money back. I’ve made it clear to my brother and the rest of my family that I’m expecting the money as soon as possible.

The amount of backlash I’m getting is making me wonder if I’m an asshole for asking for this money back even though he’s struggling. In my mind he has stolen this money from me. AITA for demanding it back? ######

Response:
 NTA - they don’t have any money to eat but they gave $450 to a church? They aren’t “expecting it back” - they’ve been sweet talked by a manipulative “pastor.” It’s prosperity gospel bullshit.

Buy the kid the PS4 yourself next time. Your brother is nuts. ######


Prompt: I have to sublet my apartment because I just bought a house. I close later in June & don’t want to overlap rent & mortgage so have been trying to get rid of it as quickly as possible. After posting on Craigslist, I got a few messages from people interested. One couple toured last week and told me that they’d get back to me within a few hours but that they were 99% sure they’d take it. 24 hours goes by and I hear nothing. Finally at 11pm the next day (Thursday) I get a response from the guy that they are interested but want to come sign the lease on Monday. Not ideal as they didn’t put down a deposit so I’m leery of “holding it” but I said ok great we can meet Monday. Sunday at 4pm I text and say “Hey hope you’re having a good weekend - just wanted to see what time works to meet tomorrow?” 6 hours later, he texts me “oh sorry I’m out of town so it will need to be Tuesday.” Annoyed but whatever, I say “ok well can we do 11am on Tuesday?” He replies “I’m not sure, I’ll have to let you know tomorrow whether that works for me”. So Monday night he calls and says “hey just wanted to let you know we still definitely want the place but can’t come until Wednesday”. I’m really fed up and let him know I’ve had other interest and that they need to sign. He is like “ok we’ll try really hard to come tomorrow but Wednesday at the latest”. Meanwhile, another woman and her husband who toured over the weekend text me this morning that they’re interested and want to sign today. So I agreed they can have the apartment if they come today and sign before these other guys can come Wednesday since I still haven’t gotten a solid time nailed down. It’s been a week and they’ve dragged their feet without putting down a deposit or anything so I feel justified even though I verbally told them they could have the apartment. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA - They delayed multiple times already. They are wasting your time, if you have a solid lead and they are willing to sign today, do it. But as soon as it's signed, send notice to the other person the apartment is no longer available so they know to keep looking. Don't argue (which they might want to do), just inform them of the change of status as a courtesy. ######


Prompt:
My apartment complex just repaved and repainted the parking lot. They added one more parking spot to our area for our building and by doing so, the spots are much smaller.

A person who lives here and has advertisements for his $59 DUI school/drivers ed company(oh the irony), hit my fiancee's brand new Honda CRV while parking last night. He parked so close she had to use the passenger side door to get in this morning so she didn't see the damage until she got home at 5pm today. He didn't leave a note or acknowledge it at all. We took pictures of his car and our car and I had to decide what to do.

The damage is minimal, but damage nonetheless. I called my insurance and they said to get a police report. So I called the police and they came, inspected the damage, confirmed the damage matches both cars. The owner of the other vehicle came out and asked what was happening, just as I was walking back to my apartment to wait for the police to review everything. They came to my apartment and told me he denied it but still gave his insurance information.

The police told me that I need to file my own report online and enter the information he gave me. So I filed a report and a claim with my insurance. Unfortunately we both have Geico, not sure what will happen.

My fiancee said I took it too far and potentially put us in danger since he might know where we live and what car we drive. I figured it would teach this guy and potentially bring it to the complex's attention that the spaces are too close. I also called them to let them know. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - they damaged your partner's car and should be held accountable. If any funny business occurs after this, there will be the police report that you can refer back to, and the police can get the contact details from the insurer, right? ######


Prompt:
I was attempting to serve legal documents upon someone who we'll call Jane Doe, who had reportedly been evading process servers for some time.

I went to their address and a female roommate confirmed that the address was correct, but the person I was looking for was at work.

I returned the next day and was told by a male resident that the person I was looking for no longer lived there. I obviously assumed this was a lie, but left temporarily and obtained details of Jane Doe's registered vehicles to be sure.

When I returned again, I confirmed that her vehicles were at the house, but nobody answered the door.  I returned for the final time a couple hours later and found both the male and female roommates that I had already talked to outside on the driveway.  The female roommate changed her story and the male roommate insisted the person didn't live there anymore. I pointed out their contradicting stories and the fact that Jane Doe's vehicles were there.  Finally the male roommate (we'll call him John Doe) tried to snatch the documents from me and I lost my temper a bit.

After a quick verbal argument (I basically told them I was tired of their bullshit and not to try to touch me or the documents again), John Doe admitted to formerly being Jane Doe.  He had transitioned and now goes by John Doe.  I was still pissed off but gave the documents over, told them I would notify the client of the name change, and left.

I later received an email complaint (they didn't realize it would go directly to me) essentially saying I was a bigot and insensitive and how wrong it was to force someone to reveal their deadname.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - they created this problem by evading service. Had they just said that they used to be person A and now go by person B it all could have been handled without an issue. Transitioning doesn’t give you a legal do-over. ######


Prompt:
I'm the oldest daughter of 3 children and have always given my parents money. My parents are both retired. They have savings, private pensions (which I helped organise) and a state pension. The mortgage is paid so they have no major expenses now.

My mum has always relied on my to contribute to the household since I started working. My Dad has not always had a steady income.  The additional has kept the dept collectors away many times.

The money is now a significant amount of my income which has meant I've not done things I want to do like travelling as I can't afford it.

I have told both parents I can't keep helping out and in 2019 I started to reduce my monthly transfers. Towards the end of each month I would get a call requesting money for essentials as they have run out which isn't making sense. They should have enough. I officially stopped transfers in December 2019.

In February I had my second child and want a year away from work to enjoy my family. My parents are happy about my growing family as they love their grandchildren but they still make requests for me to buy them things as if nothing has changed. They don't request cash but groceries, ask me to pay a bill online, amazon items etc. It all adds up to a few hundred which is less than I have previously paid.

Today my mum called me with her latest request, I said she would need to send me money to cover it and she said as her oldest child I need to look after my parents. I stuck to my guns and said I would need the money as I'm not working and she told me to forget it hung up. Now my folks aren't picking up the phone or responding to messages. I've been helping out for the last 15 years. I just can't afford it anymore.

AITA for no longer financially supporting my parents? ######

Response: NTA - they are trying to guilt you. You gave them a lot of notice ... you helped them out for years. Time to focus on you and your children. Congratulations on the new baby! ######


Prompt: My son is bisexual. I got no problem with his lifestyle. Before you want to burn me i'm a bisexual male also. But when my son is online with his friends as a joke or a gesture. He makes a slurping noice. I mean i'm not stupid. I know what it insinuates. As his dad it just creeps me out. I told him if anyone of my other kids did it. I would say the same thing. I asked him nicely. I just said hey umm don't you think that would make me a tad uncomfortable? I respect he lives here at home and helps us out. ######

Response: NTA - There’s only so much a person can put up with before it starts to annoy them. And it seems like this is one of those things. There’s no issue with asking your son to stop with the sexual noises, you’re his dad after all and I’m pretty sure you don’t need those type of noises or images in your head. ######


Prompt:
I’m cis but some people around me insist I’m trans. AITA for being mad?

I’m a cisgender woman, I’m a lesbian and have a pretty butch look (short hair, tall, broad-shouldered) but I solidly identify as female. Repeatedly throughout my life, I have been told by multiple people that I may be trans or am in denial about it, and it has gotten extremely frustrating for me because it has gotten to a pretty far point where I’m nearly living my life as a male even though I’m not male and I don’t want to be. In my group home when I was around 14 I was called by a male name instead of my female name assigned at birth, and was told by multiple peers (including trans friends) that I was trans like them. I know they didn’t mean any harm, but it made me feel a little uncomfortable, because I’m not male and being misgendered all the time made me start questioning my identity even though previously I had no issue with it. I came out to my mom a couple years ago and she told me she thought I was trans and not gay. My mom told me she believes I have the spirit of a boy and I may be confused (she’s both homophobic and transphobic, so I’m not sure why she would care either, but I think it would be easier for her to accept that I am trans rather than having an extremely masculine daughter).

When she made a joke about me being male recently, I got angry and told her that she and everyone else who’s said the same thing is misrepresenting who I am. We got in a fight about it and I argued that I want her to stop talking about it and she explained that she believes butch lesbian and trans are the same thing, and I’m just trying to be a boy. I’m not sure if she misunderstands or if she’s saying that to spite me. I’ve been sort of afraid to say anything back to these people because I don’t want to come off as transphobic and I acknowledge I should’ve set boundaries at the beginning.  AITA for getting mad at her comments? ######

Response: NTA - There's a term out there, "gender policing."  I believe that's what you're looking for.  Gender policing can be particularly bad for women that don't conform to people's stereotypes of that femininity is.  I'm not lesbian myself nor am I trans.  However, as a child I preferred so-called "boys" clothes, had mostly male friends, did some hobbies that had more boys than girls, etc.  I was known as a tomboy. As a result, I got called certain slurs in middle school & also had people accusing of being lesbian, etc.  I had an adult in my family tell me I would be a bad mom someday if I had kids, based on my supposedly masculine behavior.  I had an elder say my chosen profession as a young adult was "men's work." What I'm saying is your experience is far from unique in this regard.  When people don't think you fit in a box, they can be awful.  You're female and they can deal with that fact. ######


Prompt:
Today I got a brand new lego set for the first time in 5 years for my birthday. My step dad gifted it to me. The set is the lego ideas steam boat Willie. After I finished building it I kept it on my desk and I love and play with it as I love Disney.

I have a 13 year old half sister who in the morning took that set and ripped apart the white pieces from the boat and added it to some of her buildings. When I came into my room I was distraught as I loved that set. I told my mom my sister took my pieces from the set. My mom told me that my sister did not do anything and did not took those pieces.

I then went into my sisters room and I counted up the pieces I was missing. I ended up finding most of the pieces but the two exclusive mini figures  I had to destroy most of my sisters set when I founded. I reconstructed the boat but I was crying. My step dad came in and found what was wrong I told her my sister stole pieces from my set he told me he is going to get the same set and he is going to get me another small set to make up for it. I was excited.

Here is where I might have been the asshole. My sister went into her room to see the buildings that she made complete collapsed. She was crying. My mother ran up there and instantly called me to her room and demanded answers. My step dad came in and told her what happened but my mom want's to ground me for messing with my sisters room and ruining her buildings. My sister is crying and thinking I am the huge bad guy.  She says I am a bad person for invading her privacy and ruining her hard work.

English is my fist language but my hand writing is really bad. ######

Response: NTA - There are some serious double standards going on in your household. It shouldn't be ok for either of you to invade each other's privacy and steal lego pieces and you went to your mom first to try to resolve the situation. ######


Prompt:
Everything I ever heard out of this woman was about the "Boren Clan" and how she's a "Proud Boren." Forget that she got married and took her husband's name, and her kids have the husband's name. It's all about the Boren clan.

So, when I had my kid, all I heard from her was this and that trait are from the "Boren Clan." It wasn't "Oh, look, THIS, just like dad" or "THIS, just like mom." It was "THIS, just like a Boren. The baby is a true BOREN." Anything that was not "Boren" she was confused on, because "That's not on my side." She would literally say "That's strange. I've never seen a Boren with freckles. Where could they have gotten that from?" My response of "Some in my side of the family have freckles," was met with "Really? That is weird. Boren's don't have freckles." I don't know if she's playing stupid or is genuinely confused on how genes work.

This has been going on for years and I kind of lost it this weekend. I essentially told her last time I checked, a child has two sets of genes: one from the mother and one from the father. But if she wanted to throw the grandparents, then there would be 4 sets of genes fighting for dominance. But at the end of the day the genes that matter are SO and MINE, and she needs to stop making it sound like my genes don't exist.

My SO found out and said I was mean in my response. But was I? Was I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA - The woman is ridiculous. ######


Prompt:
(Edit: this is a throwaway and I’m on mobile!)

I think the waiter is the butthole in this situation, but you be the judge. This happened last year but I’m still salty.

I took my boyfriend to Hawaii for his birthday weekend last year and had a whole itinerary planned to make him feel special and celebrated. For his birthday dinner (on his actual birthday) I booked a dinner at the nicest restaurant on the island at the fanciest hotel on the island overlooking the beach. It rhymes with the floor reasons.

The restaurant was aware it was his birthday and upon being seated the waiter asked “happy birthday! Would you like a glass of celebratory champagne?”
We were like aw yes we absolutely would
He was like “wonderful is [some brand I wasn’t familiar with] ok?” We said sure sounds fine (spoiler: it was not fine)

Waiter returns with a glass for each of us and we enjoy them, order some cocktails and a truly impressive spread of appetizers and entrees, and settle in to a lovely birthday dinner. My boyfriend has a great time, I’m sitting smug at being such a great girlfriend. Then the bill arrives.

The celebratory glasses of champagne were $70 each! I knew this was going to be an expensive dinner and was happy to splurge, but assumed the “celebratory” meant complimentary, especially since there was no complimentary dessert or anything offered for his literal birthday. Because I didn’t want to sour the mood I paid it but left only a 15% tip (instead of my usual 20%+).

I am still pretty upset and want to leave a review for the place as everything else was wonderful and this really put a damper on the evening. AITA for being upset I had to pay ~$200 for two glasses of “celebratory” champagne (inc tax+tip)? WIBTA if I left a review of this experience?

Some friends think it’s not that unusual I’m am being petty and cheap but I disagree. ######

Response: Nta - the way that was phrased made it very misleading and the price per glass underscores the issue. ######


Prompt:
I was talking to my 7 year old yesterday when she told me that she fell down a flight of stairs last week. She was not hurt however, because if that were the case I would have known and I did not know about it til she told me.

I gave her teacher a call and she conformed that it was true. According to the teacher daughter she was trying to sneak upstairs during break time and was caught by a school prefect. She tried to run but lost her balance and fell down a flight of stairs.

The prefect went to a teacher who found my daughter crying at the bottom of the stairs. She was taken to the school nurse and was found to be completely fine, not hurt in any way. The teachers then decided that it wasn't an issue and this incident went as if it never happened.

I was livid. The fact that my child fell down a flight of stairs, which could normally end up badly, was hidden from me just because she was miraculously unhurt? I don't know, this sounds wrong in so many ways. I should have the right to know if anything happened to my child in school out of the ordinary.

I posted this incident on social media while demanding an explanation from the school. I was told by the school  that they hope that I could put it down because I am giving my daugher unnecessary attention. At the end of the day she was not hurt and I should just move on like she did. True to that, my daughter seems to be over it and doesn't seems to care. Should I drop this? Am I being the selfish AH for blowing this up? ######

Response:
 NTA - the school is asking you to take it down because you're giving the **school** attention in a negative light.  That said, I don't think posting on social media is the most effective way of dealing with this.  You should be trying to organize a meeting with the head teacher, and if they won't do anything about it, the school superintendent.

It's completely ridiculous to not tell you that that happened.  Brain injuries are notorious for lying low for a while before suddenly becoming very serious.  If there's any possibility that they've bonked their head, they need to be monitored for signs of brain injury for at least a day, even if they seem fine straight after the incident. ######


Prompt:
Tonight I ordered in food from DD.

My building is a bit hard to find because the number is on the side facing away from the parking lot. In my instructions I have written detailed directions to find the building as well as which door to use since only one has a call box.

About 15 minutes after the app texts saying my dasher 'Deborah' is near, I get call. No big deal, occasionally people get confused and need extra help. Instead of being a female as expected, it is an irate man. He proceeds to complain about wasting time and gas driving around for 15 minutes to find my apartment. I ask if he read the driver instructions and where he was so I could guide him to the building. He avoids answering and raises his voice further saying I've wasted $5 of gas money, he deserves a better tip ($5 on a $17 order is what I had already set up) and next time I should go pick it up myself and not be lazy. I tell him to give me the number of the building he is at leave the food and I will come get it.

Getting outside, there is only one car with a female driver who got out of the car and handed me my food without a word. No guy was insight.

Typcially I do not complain about drivers or leave poor ratings (don't think I've left below a 3). However it's unprofessional and threatening to have a male call and berate me over finding my building. I left the driver 1 star and lodged a complaint with the app. It automatically offered me a credit in the amount of the tip left.
Honestly I do not know if it removes
the tip, which was not my intent.

It's been an hour and now I'm starting to second guess if I overreacted by reporting the driver for being unprofessional and communication issues. Should I have just left with the low rating and not complained? I know tough it's right now for everyone and don't want cause someone to lose their income. ######

Response: NTA - the person who is listed as your driver in the app is the person who is registered with the company and who should be handling all orders/communication. The driver should get in trouble honestly, no you’re not TA. ######


Prompt:
New here, sorry if I am not doing this the right way. I am arguing with my bf because I threw his socks away. Here is a bit of back story...He has a problem with calling or texting me when he is going to be late coming home. I honestly don't care what he is doing, just if he is gonna be late coming home I just want him to call me quick or shoot me a text letting me know so I'm not worried. He thinks I am trying to control him and be his mother so we always argue about I am not his mother I can't tell him what to do blah blah. Anyway, he also has a habit of being a slob and leaving his things all over for me to pick up..you know the one who isn't his mother..he doesn't get the irony there..lol. So a few days ago he left his socks on the living room floor. I cleaned the rest of the house and everything in the living room for 3 days and left those socks where they lay. On the 4th day I threw them away. Bf comes home and notices that the socks are picked up and says, "It's about time, didn't think you saw them" I replied, " I did, but since I am not your mother I didn't think it was my job to pick up after you. After they sat on the floor for 3 days I didn't think you wanted them so I threw them in the trash." Now he is pissed off, yelling about his socks and I'm being childish for throwing them away..he might be right there but I don't think I am being an asshole...just tired of picking up after a grown up adult man.

Was I wrong to throw them away? Am I the asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA - the part where he pointed out that you had finally picked up his socks after 4 days, is where he absolutely deserved to have them thrown away.

He expects you to clean up after him like a maid, which is disgusting. Tell him that this will be happening to his stuff in the future, unless he starts acting like an adult. ######


Prompt:
I was supposed to get married this September, and as an early wedding gift our friend group decided to buy us tickets to a music festival (Shambhala -we’ve gone the past two years but knew with wedding expenses we probably wouldn’t be able to make it work.) I was so excited about the wedding gift I started crying !

Fast forward to choosing vacation in a department I was recently promoted to. We are a small team so vacation time can be tricky, ideally there would be no overlap of people taking time off. My manager is of the mindset that as adults we can figure conflicts out ourselves.

A coworker and I were requesting the same time off. 4 days of overlap. Me for the music festival, and her for family camping. She has done this camping trip with her kids for the past 6 years so I can appreciate that they all look forward to it. Due to corona virus the festival  was postponed to the same week the following year. So now we know over a year in advance that we will both be requesting the same week again.

So reddit, am I the asshole for wanting to book the week of the festival even though my coworker wants it ? I can’t exactly be flexible, these tickets were a really lovely gift. ######

Response:
 NTA - the only asshole is management, who is abdicating their responsibility to manage a department by asking employees to "figure out conflicts themselves." That's not the way well-run companies work. What if neither employee gives in? Management would have to step in at some point.

Plenty of employers say that two employees can't be out at the same time, when that's rarely the case (employers are just overly cautious). There are some blackout dates employees should be aware of, but other than that, it should be on management to work to ensure their employees can take vacation when they want, especially since it is part of their compensation.  There should be a system in place to request and approve time off to ensure that everyone gets equal access to dates, and although once in a while it won't work out and vacation may have to be denied, it shouldn't be on the employees to "figure it out." Management should make that call, based on a fair system, and take responsibility. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so the title makes me sound like a Karen, but please read before you Judge. About half a year ago People moved into a house down the street, they seemed like they were going to be okay neighbors they would wave while unloading their belongings and seemed to be like the others. about a month later thought they decided that they were going to use their back yard as a shooting range.

At first I was fine with it (I am a strong 2A supporter), although the rest of the neighborhood had issues with said shooting (they are all around retirement age and liked the peace that was the old neighborhood). As a result they all tried to call the Sheriffs dept at one point or another. To their dismay As we are in an unincorporated county zone, they are within their rights to shoot as long as they have a sufficient Shooting Berm.

As of this month the fact that they have not received a complaint they have decided to shoot into the night, at one point not stopping until 2am. This is where I have an issue with it as I live with my Grandfather who is recovering from a series of strokes and my 2 and 4 year old niece and nephew who are hard to get to sleep and stay asleep so they will not be cranky the next day. as a result I have looked into the counties noise ordinances and found that they are in violation of those laws.

 WIBTA if II used my decibel meter to record the violations, and got written complaints from my other neighbors to force them to stop shooting during the night? ######

Response: NTA - the noise ordinances are there for this exact reason; to make sure everyone can have some peace and quiet at night. Even if your grandfather and niece and nephew did not live there, you yourself are entitled to a good night's sleep too. However, maybe you should talk to the neighbors before filing a complaint? ######


Prompt: A girl at my school has some political opinions which are questionable at best. She posts said opinions on her blog. One opinion was particularly egregious, and I took screenshots of her blog in case she would delete it, as she is prone to do. I reposted the screenshots to Facebook after she deleted it. She then caught some flak for the blog because my post reached people who didn't know about her blog. People in the comments were trying to explain it to her, and she posted an apology saying she changed her opinions. But, I decided to keep the post up, and linked to her apology in the comments while removing any mention of her from the title and the rest of the post. She says that I'm causing people to dislike her because I posted it, but I'm saying that she's making other people dislike her because of her opinions. I told her I would delete it after a week. So, AITA for posting her opinions and not taking it down? ######

Response: NTA - the internet never forgets ######


Prompt: I am a pretty good artist and my classmates know it. They have no problem paying for my art except for one girl. She is the teachers' pet and the one that always reminds everyone of their mistakes. One day, she came to me asking if I could draw a horse for her. I told her that it'll be 2 KČ, which is the price of two croissants in the Czech Republic. (It's about 0,085 USD) And she said that it's too expensive and that we are friends (we are not) and that I drew free drawings for my friend and that it can't be THAT hard to draw. I told her if it's not that hard, she can draw it herself and that I drew it free for my friend because her dog died. She screamed at me calling me many names. AITA for wanting the price of two croissants for hours of hard work? ######

Response: NTA - The fact that she cannot draw it herself shows that your art has value. ######


Prompt:
My husband is a gamer through and through. Right now his game of choice is Call of Duty: Whatever version is out right now. He games 3-4 nights out of the week.

I... am not a gamer. Mostly, it makes my eyes water and I run around aimlessly. Case and point: I button-mashed my way through Tekkan as a child, and only grinded in Tony Hawk Pro-Skater. I enjoyed the way I played the game, but have never played a game to beat it.

For my birthday this year my husband bought me the game Animal Crossing: New Horizon and I have really been enjoying it. If you play, you know that the multi-player capabilities of this game are lacking, and you can only have one island per switch. I created my island, named it, and invited my husband to create a character to play.

I play two nights a week (maybe), but that is all I want to play. My husband has started playing the switch during the day and **I feel** has taken over my island. I was moving at my own pace, but he has started playing as me and hits every milestone for me. I was ACTUALLY playing this game, just in the mosey-about way I enjoy. I have alluded to him taking over my island and flat out asked him to stop playing, because he plays video games all the time, and this is the first video game that I have had interest in since Tekkan. He is still playing it daily. I know he wants us to have a game together, but I feel like my island doesn't even feel like what I wanted at all.

AITA? Should I embrace his want to connect via videogames? But how do I overcome his need to complete every part of the game obsessively? ######

Response: NTA - the fact he took over your profile in AC when he has his own is what bothers me the most about this. If you've talked to him about this and he's still not respecting boundaries, delete your island. Meh maybe that's petty. If he's not being respectful, though, that's an issue. Either way, you're NTA. ######


Prompt:
(On mobile so sorry for bad formatting)

So I live in NY and everyday at 7pm lots of people clap and cheer in celebration for the healthcare and medical workers that are out there fighting against COVID-19.

I thought it was cool for the first few days but it’s been months now and every time they start cheering I just close the window because it gets loud and annoying.

My SO thinks it’s disrespectful and says I’m being ungrateful and that I should be taking part in the cheering.

My SO’s mom is a nurse and he’s offended every time I close the window and thinks I’m being an asshole.

So reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA - the cheering is a sweet gesture, but it's about as useful as 'thoughts and prayers'. ######


Prompt:
My younger sister is expecting a baby girl despite the fact she and her husband have struggled with finances since 2009, when they got married. Anyway, she texted me saying that she needed a loan of $200 for something related to the unborn baby girl, and I, being a teacher on summer vacation, cannot afford that. My boyfriend is a surgeon, but I don't want to rely on him financially for something like this.

When I turned her down, she got really mad and was like "Okay, so you don't care about your niece then. I guess you do really want us to put her up for adoption." I was like "Well...sorry, but I have to look out for myself first." She hung up on me angrily, and then after that, my mom and siblings all got mad at me.

I questioned why THEY didn't help her out financially, and they said
"Oh we contributed too, and we thought you'd be willing to help them out." Like do they not understand I am a TEACHER? I don't make that much and just spent a ton of money on gifts for my boyfriend's daughter. AITA in this situation? ######

Response: NTA - The baby's not even born yet and they're already asking for money. Reality's going to hit them hard. ######


Prompt:
this happened before the world went crazy, I was with my friend and we went into a mc'donnas to grab some food. when we went in, there was a crazy huge line and an even bigger line for people waiting for their food.

so i pulled out my phone and ordered our food through an app that's usually meant for delivery, but had a pick-up option, then we stepped outside to smoke. not sure if other mc'donnas are the same, but the one i went to prioritizes the online orders and drive thru, so that just means i would get my food faster.

when the app indicated that the food was ready (still took like 20 minutes but at least I wasn't trapped inside a building), I went back in to pick up the food, and a lady that was in the crowd waiting for her food (I guess she remembered me walking in before but then shortly afterwards leaving) chimed off "she's not a delivery driver! she's stealing someones food!!". the worker had my back and said I ordered through the app for pick-up, but then the woman started yelling, like actually yelling, that I shouldn't be allowed to skip the line.

like.... you have a phone too lady, just use it?

aita for skipping the line? ######

Response: NTA - that’s literally what the app is for ######


Prompt: I have gestational diabetes so I’ve had to learn to use the lancet device and glucometer. Every chance he gets, my husband tries to grab the lancet device before me when he knows it’s time for me to do it. Today, I refused and he is furious and hurt. He says it’s a way for him to be involved in my prenatal care but the fear and anticipation of the needle are way worse for me when I’m not holding the lancet. ######

Response: NTA - that’s incredibly overbearing, unnecessary, and controlling. Ew. You should absolutely be doing it yourself. There’s involved, and there’s way the hell too over involved. He’s falling into the latter category. This is absolutely something to stand firm on. ######


Prompt:
My cousins "James" and "Lydia" have 9 children. They are a wonderful family, and we spend holidays together. My husband and I suspect that their youngest "Grace" has Down syndrome due to very subtle physical features, motor delays, and her mother's age when she had her, but we haven't said anything to anyone else in the family.

When we were over to their house for Thanksgiving, I was fussing over all the kids like usual, and things went wrong when I got to Grace. I did the whole "Wow, you're so big!" thing and asked Lydia, "Is she walking yet?" Lydia very harshly snapped, "No. But nothing is wrong with her." Honestly, it was a little shocking and I was caught off guard. All I said was "Okay. But if there was, you know we would never love her any less." That was the end of that, and I thought everything was okay. Then, we weren't invited to the family Christmas.

I recently was talking on the phone to James and brought up to him that we had gotten all the kids Christmas gifts. He then told me that Lydia is still very upset that I asked if Grace was walking yet and that she expected an apology before we would be welcome over again. I'm planning on apologizing anyway, but I really don't think I did anything wrong. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - that was a pretty harsh overreaction to being asked if her kid walks yet. That’s a pretty standard question about most babies between 9 months and when they’re obviously walking. It sounds like she’s aware there’s an issue and is in denial. Either refusing proper medical care or refusing to disclose to family,  not sure which. ######


Prompt:
Some context: I (33F) am currently hosting my pregnant sister (29F) and niece at my house. My sister is almost 8 months along, and her husband works in a healthcare field, so we decided it would be safer for her to stay with me for the time being.

My sister is known for having a questionable taste in names. She named  my five year old niece Isis, and she was planning to give the new baby and equally bad name. I won’t put it here for privacy reasons, but think along the lines of “Divine Nova” or “Quartz.” Just ridiculous.

We were chilling last night after the kids went to bed, and that’s when she told me the name. I reminded her how hurt she always is when people comment on Isis’ name, and how even my niece has picked up on it (she goes by another name at kindergarten). I talked to her about how kids with bad names can suffer in the labor market. She still wasn’t budging, so I told her I wouldn’t make a name plaque for baby if she chose that name. For my nieces and nephews, I usually wood burn a nice plaque with the name and DOB, and it becomes a treasure as they get older. I love doing it, and I think my sister was shocked. She said if I felt that strongly about the name, she’d rethink it.

AITA? I feel a bit bad for holding a gift over her head, but I just want to protect my niece-to-be from having to answer to a horrible name. My husband (who wasn’t there) thinks I went to far and is siding with my sister. ######

Response: NTA - That said, Isis is a perfectly normal and beautiful name and not in the vicinity of something like Divine Nova. ######


Prompt:
So, for a bit of context, I’m black and there is a total of one ethnic salon in my town and I had gotten box braids for the spring. The front part of my hair grows pretty quickly so I made appointments before I had the track schedule because they would’ve been full if I hadn’t then and there. One of my appointments was scheduled on a day I had a track meet.

I asked my coach about it and she asked if I could reschedule and I couldn’t, since my lady was fully booked from now until May. I told her that there was one ethnic salon in town and this one specific lady was one of three there and she’s the only one who knows how to deal with my hair texture(both my parents are white) and I actually trust her with touching my hair. She said yeah I could skip I’d just have to make up for it in practice.

Somehow this cake up how I was able to skip and I explained, my most of teammates said I pulled “the race card” on coach but the rest of my teammates agree for the reasons above. It’s hard to find good, reputable hairdressers that I actually want to touch my hair and know how to deal with it.

Was I the AH in this situation or was I at least justified? ######

Response:
 NTA - that is not pulling the race card. That’s a “I have a prior appointment that I can’t reschedule”. Your friends suck if they think otherwise.

Edit- spelling ######


Prompt:
Okay so basically my girlfriend (23f) and I (24m) have been dating for just over 4 months it’s been pretty good, little to no arguments about anything.

She came over last Thursday and said she had a gift for me and one for herself too, I thought this was strange as it’s not near any of our birthdays or anything. She handed a box and told me to open it, inside was a baby camera, immediately my heart started racing as I thought she was going to tell me she was pregnant, but to my surprise she wasn’t.

She told me she wants me to put it in my living room so “we can always see each other even when we’re not together” because it is wifi enabled through an app you can get up on your phone.

I spun some story to avoid conflict as she was only going to be at my house for the next hour or so, I told her I was too afraid of hackers getting into it and watching me, but I don’t actually want to be seen at all times by my girlfriend. She called that bluff and got angry with me in which I asked her to leave, she did so in tears.

Please note she doesn’t use reddit and this isn’t a throwaway but I am not cheating and I wouldn’t so that’s not why I’m opting out of it.

I told her I needed a few days to myself and haven’t seen her since (it’s Monday now) I understand we both have feelings but i don’t know if I disregarded hers too much

AITA for not wanting to put a baby monitor in my house? ######

Response: NTA - That is creepy, controlling, and SCREAMS insecure. ######


Prompt:
I’ve lived in this neighborhood for ages now, and we have this cat who wanders around. Thing is, I know that it’s not lost and I know exactly who the cat’s owners are. Almost every day at the same time, when I get off the bus and walk to my house, the cat is waiting there for me and I give it a good scratch and let her snuggle against my feet before I go inside. Sometimes she follows and sometimes show doesn’t. Anyways my gf has become pretty endeared to this feline and has tried to feed it. Idk if it’s the right thing to do to feed it or not, I was always raised not to feed other people’s pets so I’ve stopped her from doing that.

It’s now gotten to the point where my gf is seriously in love with the rascall, even asking me if we should just say fuck it and keep the cat for ourselves and I laughed it off because I thought she was joking. Narrator: *she wasn’t joking*. Next time I saw the cat she had a different collar on and my girlfriend had went out and gotten a collar for “our cat”. I told her to stop being ridiculous as it’s not our cat and she argued that she spends a lot of her time here so she might as well be. I said that’s not our decision to make and told her to put the collar back on the cat and she refused and said she’d already thrown it away. I had to dig through the garbage and get it back and give it a good washing before I exchanged the collar again. Now she’s mad at me because she thinks I’m being controlling but it’s not our goddamn cat. ######

Response:
 NTA - that cat belongs to someone else.

If it were ownerless or stray, there are channels to go through, such as taking it to an animal shelter before confirming no-one will claim it - then you could look into adopting it.

What your girlfriend is doing is theft. ######


Prompt:
AITA?
TLDR; husband can't stand tattoos and won’t let me get one- I’m about to just do it- but he might just break over it.

Hi, I’m F25 and my husband M25 have a good marriage, we’ve had normal marriage problems but I’d like to think we did a good job resolving them through good communication and positive change. (Four years)

Every few months though, we’ve been having the same fight. I want my first tattoo and he doesn't want me to get one at all. The solution here isn’t as easy as “ f him, be a free independent woman, it’s your body, ect”.

1st problem is one of the positive changes in our marriage is me making an effort to make decisions together instead of alone. (ITA story below)
2nd problem is we are both children from strict Mormon backgrounds- though we aren’t Mormon anymore- a lot of his issue is he was made to believe people with tattoos are trashy, immature and criminals.

I’ve tried to compromise. On his end I can’t get one till I’m 30 (um, ok.. dad?). On my end, it’s got to be something small and where people can’t notice it easily. He thinks if I wait till 30 I won’t want one anymore because mature new moms don’t get first tattoos.

I’m about ready to just do what I want where I want, but I’m also not ready to put a rift in our marriage again. AITA if I get one?

Tattoo: just a black, thin line contour of a violet, it’s stem and 1-3 leaves on the end behind my ankle bone.

ITA story: I really wanted a dog he never did- he told me no but told me I could still do it- but it was a feeling of betrayal when I chose to get a puppy. I admit it was selfish, but I wish it didn’t make him feel like I didn’t love him/respect him. He resented me for three months even when he gained real love for that dog after one. ######

Response:
 NTA - tattoos do not make people trashy or a criminal

I know people a lot older than 30 with tattoos and who are still getting them

Maybe not do it behind his back, but simply tell him that while you respect his beliefs, it is your body and you want a tattoo and plan to get one

He is entitled to his belief, but your entitled to have a tattoo if it’s what you want ######


Prompt:
So my little brother is 14yo and going to be a freshman next year in HS, I am 17 and I graduate this year.  I don't want to sound too mean but he's pretty......large and very very out of shape.  I played football and track so after middle school I have always been in really good shape.  My brother recently asked me if I could help him lose weight and get in shape cause he wants to play football, I warned him that I would be just as hard as a coach and he said he's ready for that.

There is this grassy hill area near my house where I use to train all the time, and I thought that would be perfect to coach him up there.   I wouldn't say I go like military drill instructor hard but it is pretty hard, but in a way to hype him up.  Like lets say he's getting tired of running I say stuff like "come on, you fucking got this, you got half a mile left."  Or if he struggles with the pushups I get right down there with him and say stuff like "you got 5 fucking more you just did 30 don't give up now, I wont let you quit."  Nothing really demeaning other than sometimes telling him that he doesn't want to go back to being fat.

My dad was watching me coach him and he said that I'm "being too hard on him" and that I need to loosen up.  My brother hasn't said anything negative from what I've doing and in the past month we've been doing this he was at 250 and he's down to 210.  Still a ways to go but its something and I won't lie, it feels good to know I helped him lose 40 pounds already.  AITA? ######

Response: NTA - talk to your brother about it, let him know your dad brought it up to him. You clearly care about him very much and aren’t demeaning really.... I would maybe stay away from saying stuff like “you don’t want to go back to being fat!”, and focus more on his health and his progress. “Look how far you’ve come” gets the same message across. Saying “fuck” in a motivational sense is obviously encouraging for him, and this whole thing seems to be a bonding experience on top of it all. Daddy needs to chill, but yeah, chat with your bro. ######


Prompt:
Backstory:

My (16F) dad and mom (both 37F&40M) got a divorce two years ago because my father cheated on my mother, her (the mistress) and my dad got married two months after my parents got a divorce.

My parents have joint custody of me and my siblings (17M & 16M (my twin brother), we’re all close and decided we wanted to visit our father, his wife and her kids (16&15F, the father passed) every two weeks since it was either that or we’d have to spend our holidays with them (mother’s orders) which we all didn’t want.

I don’t like the two teenage girls and neither do my brothers, they’ve called us the n word multiple times (our dad is Italian while our mom is black, my stepsisters&stepmom are white), usually stay out late, smoke etc.

Story:

We were at my dad’s house, my brother (twin) and I were playing video games in the living room, my stepsister (16) wanted to watch tv even though she has a tv in her room, we told her to give us half an hour since we hadn’t been playing for long, my stepsister called us both ‘ghetto n——‘ out of nowhere and my stepmother came downstairs to ask what happened.

I explained to her what happened and she told me “Anna (random name), I’ve talked to you about this, stop being weak.”

I asked her if my stepsister would be getting a consequence and she told me no because I was being weak, then added “for a black girl”.

I responded by saying, “I’m weak yet you don’t have enough respect for yourself to leave a man who forgot to tell you he had a wife and kids.” since she wasn’t aware my father had a family while he was cheating with her.

She went ballistic and my brother (17) who had just woken up had to hold her back, I feel kind of guilty but I also don’t.

Now I’m waiting for my dad to get home.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - stop going over there. If your dad wants to see you it can be a place where you aren’t getting racially abused. ######


Prompt:
My great-great-grandmother’s engagement ring has been in our family for generations and is traditionally given to the oldest son to propose to his future wife with. Per that tradition the ring should go to my older brother Jake, who is gay and wants to propose to his partner of four years, Ben. However my mom refused and said that the ring should go to my younger brother Mike instead because Ben is not a woman and gay marriage is not legal in our country. She suggested having another ring made for Ben using some of the other jewelry that belonged to my grandmother.

I’m the middle child and I’m female so the ring won’t go to me either way, (not that I want it because I’m not a fan of the vintage look) and I’ve tried to stay out of the discussion. Jake asked me to help him convince our mom that she’s being homophobic and she should give the ring to Jake to propose to Ben with in accordance to the family tradition. When I told him that I don’t really want to get involved in their argument, he accused me of being homophobic.

For the record, I’m fine with Jake’s sexual orientation and I fully accept Ben as his partner. I just don’t want to back anyone because I think they both have a point and I’m not even sure who’s ‘more’ right. My parents are very traditional but they’ve done their best to accept Jake and Ben. We invite Ben to all of our family’s events, my mom tries to bond with him by teaching him how to cook Jake’s favorite foods growing up, and my dad gifted Ben with a gold necklace engraved with Jake’s name on his last birthday.

Am I the asshole for wanting to stay out of this instead of taking Jake's side? ######

Response: NTA - stay out of this one. ######


Prompt: So I (15f) was playing the sims today when my younger brother (8m) came into the room. Since it’s pride month in a few days I was looking at the pride flags that they have in sims to find one for my sim. My brother starts asking what these flags are so I explain to him about lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders and other sexualities and genders. I don’t go too deep into these things as he is young, but I feel like he deserves to understand a bit about these things. He starts naming characters in cartoons he watches that are LGBTQ and then sits talking about these things to me. Then my dad comes in and asks what we were talking about. I explain to him that I was talking to my brother about the LGBTQ community as he was asking what this flag was in a game I was playing. My dad then gets very mad and starts saying that he doesn’t want my brother knowing about these things. At this point I am confused as a few of his friends know about these things and I learnt about them from tv shows and books when I was 8. Later I tell my mom how I’m upset that I won’t be able to go to pride this year and my dad goes very quiet and decides to go outside to eat. After dinner he explains to me that these aren’t appropriate subjects at dinner and that if I mention them again he will take my phone away from me. AITA for explaining LGBTQ to my brother? ######

Response: NTA - sounds like your dad is a homophobe, at least if your brother does grow up to be gay he’ll know he can always count on you, you’ll likely be the only one of them that knows. ######


Prompt:
I (27F) work full-time and my husband (28M) is a stay at home partner. That means I'm the breadwinner in our relationship, but that's fine. It's a role we're both comfortable with me in and I hate, hate, **hate** chores anyway.
Recently my father-in-law has been making me uncomfortable with his comments. FIL has a habit of making 'jokes' about things my boyfriend has done around the house. He will often comment on my SO's FB posts and pictures with comments like 'another day sweeping the floors?' and calling him a 'domesticated maid'.
We recently had them over for dinner and my husband did an amazing job prepping the house and slow cooking the food. I didn't help out at all, since I was at work all day and I arrived home to him having done everything.
When my FIL found out my husband did the cooking, he straight out asked why I hadn't helped. When I told him I'd been at work, he told me that he would never let his wife, my SO's mother, host a dinner party entirely by herself and would at least prepare a side. The big difference between my FIL/MIL and me/my SO is that his parents both worked full time, which isn't our situation. My FIL looked at my SO and told him 'you know you don't have to live like this'.
Here's where I might be TA. I'd had enough and snapped at him that our situations were very different. And I said that I actually didn't appreciate his attitude to my husband's lifestyle and he had no right to criticise either of us when we're both happy in our choices.
As you can expect, it didn't go well. My in-laws left early and things have been weird since. My husband says that he wishes I'd hadn't spoken up and next time to let him deal with it. But I struggle to agree since he always lets his father walk all over him and sometimes his father is criticising me too.

AITA for standing up for me and my husband against my father-in-law? ######

Response:
 NTA - Sounds like you made a reasonably measured response to some really terrible comments by your FIL.  You're NTA for standing up for a completely normal lifestyle against some offensive bigotry.

It may be helpful to talk to your husband more about this if it's bothering you.  It's absolutely appropriate for him to ask to be the one to deal with his parents.  Moving forward it sounds like it would be best for him to do that, but he also needs to actually do it if this keeps coming up and is an issue for you. ######


Prompt:
I’ll try to keep this short and simple. I have 2 kids, 5 grandkids.

Carlie—has 2 kids, lives with me and has always lived close by. I’m very involved in my grandkids lives. I’ve always been the main childcare provider and as stated above, they live with me for the time being so I’m around them a lot.

Meg—has 3 kids and has lived in another state since she went away to college 10 years ago. I see her and my grandkids roughly 3-4x a year.

For Easter I bought Carlie’s kids window paint and let them paint on the house and car windows. I also made bunny shaped pancakes.

For Meg’s kids I sent gifts—paw patrol figurine set, Jojo siwa craft set, and a lego set(1 gift for each kid) + a bubble gun for each kid + extra sand for their new sandbox.

Carlie saw that I sent all this stuff to Meg’s kids(via Facebook) and started making passive aggressive comments about how her kids didn’t even get actual toys from me for Easter but my other grandkids did.

It later escalated to her saying that I am spoiling my other grandkids to punish her kids because they live with me(?? Not true at all). I have my reasons for gifting them so much—1) I buy random stuff for Carlie’s kids consistently throughout the year, when they go to the store with me or I happen to see something they’d like 2) I had plans to go visit Meg’s kids for spring break and would’ve bought them stuff then but that got canceled ######

Response: NTA - sounds like you are a loving grandmother to all the children, just in different ways. That is quite understandable given the circumstances. ######


Prompt: So one of my hobbies is to go garage saleing and buy things to then resell on eBay. I stumble upon a garage sale. At first all I see is baby stuff/kids clothes. I don't go buy it at first. After going to all the sales on that street I decide to go to it. I look around and don't see that much. Then I stumble upon some cassettes. I pick a few out (around 4 for those curious 1 Rush, 2 Styx, and 1 Yes cassette these would be for me). I go to checkout and she tells me that they are free and asked if they were all free. She said yes and I was surprised and went back to look to see if there was anymore. I decide to take them all since there was around 50 of them and didn't buy anything. Some of the other ones were Aerosmith, Disney songs, Eric Clapton, and many more. I get home and my parents bitched at me saying that I should have bought something instead of taking all the free things. AITA for taking all the free stuff at a garage sale without buying anything? ######

Response: NTA - Sounds like the owner just wanted to get rid of them. ######


Prompt:
So, I'll try to keep this short, but chances are, it wont be. I(F38 almost 39) recently started talking to someone I met through work. Hes 33 and recently out of a relationship.  We've only been facebook chatting because of the shutdown, plus he no longer works for the same employer as me. I wont go see him because I work at a place thats had cases, plus i live with an older relative who wouldnt fare very well if she were to get this.

So, I recently noticed he talks about sex, a lot. Pretty much from our first conversation. At first, it didnt really bother me, although I would change the subject if it went on too long. Yesterday, we were talking about drinking. I was telling him some of the issues I'd seen crop up in my family. Telling him that's why I dont drink. I had just finished sharing a very personal story, when he told me" I'd make you drink my cum"

I was pretty disgusted. I mean, im down for some naughty talk, dont get me wrong. But the story I had just told him definitely was not one that should have prompted him to say that. I responded with" I'm trying to have a serious conversation right now" Which thankfully, at the time, caused him to stop for the moment. Several minutes later, he was once again trying to steer the conversation that way, and i just wasnt having it. I told him to stop, and he called me a frigid bitch. Told me"well since you wont come over here and i cant come there what else can i do"

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA - Sounds like he just wants you for sex, plus he's coming off a little creepy. ######


Prompt:
First time poster, standard on mobile disclaimer.

I am not close to my mom. I am the scapegoat child and she dismisses my thoughts as if they don't matter. She is also a fundamentalist Christian, doesn't believe in COVID and thinks the government lies to her all the time.

She told me yesterday she had close contact to a person who got COVID positive results back. We have universal healthcare in my country, but we are having a spike on cases, so lines are to be expected.

She whined and said she left the line and will try to get tested tomorrow, but she has no symptoms... Except for a couch from "eating dry toast this morning" and a headache "for eating chocolate"..., but a friend who lives next door said that she has been coughing since yesterday and went on a drive yesterday to visit friends.

I know my mother. She is incredibly immature and won't stop going out and probably avoid getting tested unless she gets really sick and doesn't care about possibly being asymptomatic and potentially infecting others. I was planning on holding her out to her plan of getting tested and my friend will keep an eye out for her to make sure she does. If she doesn't, I would call the Health Department hotline and put an anonymous tip.

Reddit, WIBTA if I did this? ######

Response: NTA - Sorry your mom is not acting like a responsible adult right now. Report her - people's lives, including hers, could be at stake. ######


Prompt:
My father (52M) has been divorced from my mother for 11 years now. Ever since then he has been in a countless number of meaningless relationships that never go anywhere despite him thinking they will.

My father has a type. He likes younger women. His last 3 girlfriends were all under 30 and his most recent ex girlfriend was 25 years old (just a year older then me). My father loves to complain about how he doesn't understand what he is doing wrong. One of the things might be the huge age gap. Obviously with girlfriends pretty much half his age priorities are usually very different and most of his relationships end because of this.

Ever since the divorce he's been in a endless cycle of falling in love with a woman much younger then him and then breaking up wich always leaves him very depressed until he finds another young girlfriend.

Yesterday, me and my brother's were over at his house and he was going over one of his rants about how he doesn't know what he is doing wrong and he thinks he's just very unlucky. I suggested to him that he may want to find a girlfriend closer to his age so they can be at the same stage in life and their priorities and goals can be  more similar. This got him very uncomfortable and for the rest of the night he didn't say another word. I think I said what was best for him to hear. AITA ? ######

Response: NTA - somtimes people just need the cold truth ######


Prompt:
TLDR: Just had a miscarriage. Partner left me the morning after to go mushroom picking. Said it was my fault that I hadn’t asked him to stay. Now, he wants to go with me for the follow-up clinical visit. AITA for not wanting him to be involved in the follow-up visits.

I just had a miscarriage.

Thankfully I am medically fine based on my clinical visits. I have one follow-up visit to ensure that there are no complications. My partner was there during the 1st visit that’s when I found out that it was a miscarriage. There were associated pains physically on the day it happened and I honestly thought it was just post-workout pain because I have been playing badminton the day before. All in all it was a shocking and tiring day physically and mentally and I was glad he was there all throughout.

What I couldn’t wrap my head around was that the very next morning he told me that he wants to go mushroom picking with people from his work because he said “ it could be fun”. He left me, to go do that and when I told him I would have appreciated if he was there because he was texting me while he was out. He told me, I should have asked for it. Followed by a text, “Btw, I would like to hangout with you tonight though”.

It was just illuminating moment for me how his actions made me realize that I couldn’t be with someone who would go mushroom picking the morning after I had a miscarriage. I left his place. He called me 3 times and texted me that he wants to be there during the last follow up visit “because it would mean a lot to him”. But I don’t want him involved anymore.

AITA for not wanting to involve him for the visit (and possible in my life) because it was overwhelming with the miscarriage and I don’t want to deal with the fact that he choose me over mushrooms and that he implied that it was my fault because I didn’t ask for him to stay.

(If what he wants is peace of mind that the miscarriage has no complications, he could go ask the mushrooms.) ######

Response: NTA - some people are defending his actions by pointing out that he may have needed the normalcy after a traumatic event...which is all well and good, *if he had explicitly communicated that* because if he had said “OP, I know you are hurting and I am too, *I don’t want to leave you alone unless you’re okay with it*, but it would help me to do a normal activity, *how would you feel* about me doing [X]” it would’ve given you the opportunity to say “no, I really need you here” which you otherwise shouldn’t have had to assume you would need to explicitly say in a situation like this. ######


Prompt:
My husband and I have been married for 3 years and we both agreed we were child free. I told him up front if I got pregnant I would have an abortion. He said that was fine.

Well a month ago I found out I was pregnant. I told him, and that I was going to get an abortion. He freaked out and said that I was killing his kid and couldn’t.

We fought about it for a week and then I just went anyway. He moved out and said he was going to divorce me. I haven’t heard from him since.

I’m pretty fucking pissed off, since we agreed we were child free and now he’s going back on it and freaking out. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - Some husbands seem to think that their wife is just 'exaggerating' when they lay out these rules like they are some sort of angsty child. They just expect them to change their mind. If he's really willing to divorce over something that he promised then you're better off without him ######


Prompt:
This issue has been bothering me for about a week and now I need to know if I truly am the asshole.
I have an illness called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which causes extreme pain in my joints and hypermobility. My joints are so bad that even walking up and down stairs causes extreme pain, so standing is even worse. I’m also immune compromised which will be important later.
I had to go to the doctor because I was having issues with my medication to a point where it was having an affect on my physical well being. Now the waiting room was full because everyone and their mother thinks when they cough it’s the virus where I am but I was lucky to find a seat in a section that is reserved for people with disabilities which I am. Maybe 5 minutes after I sit down and fix my mask, an older woman walks in.
The older woman looked at me, walked over, and demands I stand up and let her sit down. I say “no. Please get 6 feet away from me. I’m allowed to sit here.” And that’s when she goes into a tirade for not telling an old, extremely sick woman sit down and how it’s not fun to fake a disability. (You can’t see my disability unless I stood up.) I got called in but the woman in the waiting room with their children gave  me nasty looks for it.
Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA - Some disabilities are a lot less obvious than others, the elderly woman shouldn't expect to be entitled to anything, and you shouldn't have to explain your disability to anyone, it's non of their business. ######


Prompt:
He wants me to drive his family member to the airport tomorrow at 5:30 am.

Here's how that conversation went:

Me: What time does Jim leave tomorrow?

Bf: 6:45.

Me: WOW that's early.

Bf: Yeah you're going to need to get up at 5.

Me: What? Me? What are you talking about?

Bf: I have to work at 7:30, so you need to drive him.

I had no idea that any of this was going on. My boyfriend didn't ask me. He just *informed* me that this was happening. Also, maybe I'm mistaken, but if my bf went to sleep at 9:30 and woke at 5, that's 7.5 hours of sleep and totally fine. The airport is like 15 minutes away and he'd get to see his family member off.

I really don't want to do it because I'm pissed that he wouldn't even ask me. I'm big on asking permission, out of respect. If he had asked me, I'd gladly do it. I'm a person. Not an extension of himself. I'm not *obligated* to do anything for him. He doesn't think he should have asked, apparently. I told him why I was mad, and he thinks it not a big deal and I still need to do it.

So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA - So who is dropping Jim to the airport? ######


Prompt:
Recently broke up with my gf because she was super abusive. Her sister is also abusive towards her fiancé and it comes from their abusive dad. A couple days after we broke up, the sisters fiancé texted me and asked what happened. I told him how abusive my ex was and I gave him examples of why. Less than a week later, his engagement was called off suddenly for unknown reasons. He then told me he realized that he was in the same shoes as me and didn’t notice that his relationship was toxic. He said he was happy and thanked me for opening his eyes.

The rest of the family found out and are blaming me for breaking apart the couple. I’ve been accused of ruining the sisters life. I told them it was the fiancés decision and I’m not responsible. They disagree and accused me of spreading lies to get back at my ex. I don’t feel bad at all but my friends tell me that I should have stayed out of it and that I’m an asshole.

BTW both the sisters and the dad are in denial that they are abusive and manipulative. So they truly believe that I fucked everything up.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - so they think it’s ok to ruin the fiancé’s life instead? All you did was talk about you, not give him advice. Unless I’m misunderstanding or her fiancé said you did more than you actually said to him, sounds like you helped him dodge a huge, basketball-sized bullet. ######


Prompt:
 Posting on sisters behalf

My sister, let's call her Aly, lives in an apartment building with 2 others, Ava, her sister, and Mia, an acquaintance.

The lease expires in June but since Mia has finished school she has opted to move back with her parents while still paying rent. When Mia left (early-April) she left food in the fridge and freezer and has yet to come back and get them, one of the items left in the freezer were frozen burritos, like the kind you pop in the microwave and shame eat at 2-am. Well, Aly and Ava had a few friends over Thursday night, one of which is a really close friend, the really close friend mindlessly went into the freezer and cooked the last two of Mia's burritos without thinking and ate them. Ava and Aly were unaware that their friend ate Mia's Burritos. Then Friday morning Mia came back to the apartment to collect the rest of her things and noticed the Burritos were gone, she then proceeded to throw out ALL of Ava's and Aly's food from the fridge/freezer in retaliation.

Aly and Ava were obviously disgruntled and confronted Mia who somehow attempted to justify throwing all their food away.

Whos the Asshole ######

Response:
 NTA - so mia left in early April, to me early April would mean the first week of April. So she has been gone 2 or 3 weeks then is upset someone ate food she left there. In the middle of a quarantine.
So to retaliate she throws food away. That’s beyond asshole that’s bordering on mental illness. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway

My mom cheated on my dad and went and married  her friend who is single.  I am 30 years old and my salary is 120,000 dollars . My father recently went homeless.He was not able to pay rent as he was fired for his job.

I live in a nice cozy two bedroom apartment in south Carolina. Since my dad was homeless from his job I  have allowed my dad to live with me until he can find a new job which he currently is  doing.

I  also started a retirement account for him as my dad always supported me through my life and  helped me financially out whenever I need the help. He always supported my decisions unlike my mom.

Anyway today my mom found out after I told my younger sister who is  25 years old about what I did with my dad. My younger sister told my mom and my mom found out. My mom's tone in the email was very bad as it sounded like she was yelling at me for favoring my dad and not her by giving my dad a place to say and set up a retirement account.

I told my mom she has her girlfriend who could do those things for her in a response and my mom told me what about the house she let me live in when I was a child and what about the food she bought for me when I was a child.

She emailed me through my work account as I have her on all my social media accounts blocked. I told her that she she never supported me like my dad and refused to help me out financially plus she cheated on him which I hate . I told her no I won't be supporting her financially   and blocked her on ,y work  email.

I saw my mom on  face book and she was ranting about how her child never does anything for her and  how her male child is sexist and homophobic. So I was wondering if I am the asshole as  I feel a little bit bad  she is calling me a sexist and homophobic person and maybe my mom is right. So aita for blocking my mom and not giving her the same benefits as I gave my dad. ######

Response: NTA - she’s using classic manipulation tactics to make you feel guilty. You have every right to help your dad in whatever way you please, and every right to distance yourself from your mom. ######


Prompt:
So I’m a female (23)and my period pain has always been bad (I would pass out in those first few early ones or if I don’t take meds that work for me) BUT I learnt my lesson and now it’s not a walk in the park by any means but I manage.

My sister (20) REFUSES to take the same meds when her period starts, even though time and again we (my mom and I) have given them to her and they work.

This means that she does nothing to reduce her own pain until it gets to the point of vomiting and explosive diarrhea. Then cries that the pain is terrible and no one understands or cares. (We get up and help everytime )

At this point it’s to late to expect a quick turn around time on the meds so then it is crying and vomiting and pooping bonanza.

She does not seem to grasp that she could lesson her pain if she just listened to my mom and I and took the meds when the cramping begins.

Am I being to harsh? My mother feels that we should still be sympathetic every single time but I am over saying the same thing every month.

AITA for starting to lose my sense of compassion towards her and telling her she is on her own if she doesn’t want to try prevent this from happening in the future. Her and my mom are upset that I told her that this is the consequences of not listening and say I am not being compassionate. ######

Response: NTA - she’s an adult. I totally get not wanting to take medication because a lot of people don’t like to, but it sounds like her cycle is really aggressive and she needs to find out some other options if she won’t take pain medication. ######


Prompt:
My daughter is 18, and I’ve always considered myself to be an open-minded parent. She recently began discussing birth control, and even though she doesn’t have a boyfriend, I wanted to be supportive. I bought her condoms, at her request, and I thought that would be the end of it.

A week ago, she asked me if I would make and accompany her to an appointment to discuss birth control options. I was raised in the era where AIDS was still a major threat, and I firmly believe that, unless you are in a monogamous relationship, you should use condoms.

I was hesitant, but I agreed in the condition that she promised she would also use conforms. She got really defensive and said that that choice wasn’t up to me. I told her that she was right, but that my involvement was my choice, and it was based on this condition. I said she was more than free to get birth control on her own.

She’s been really mad at me because of it. She says that her anxiety is too bad to make an appointment on her own. I still haven’t caved. AITA for staying firm in my decision? ######

Response: NTA - She’s an adult and needs to learn to do things like go to appointments in her own.  Your request was also 100% reasonable and made with the health of your daughter in mind. ######


Prompt: I have a pair of leopard print vans I don’t wear much but they are new, I let my mum wear them because it matches with her cougar style lol but today it’s her birthday and I spotted her wearing my vans without socks I asked her to put socks on because they were my shoes and I didn’t want them to smell, now she is yelling at me and super annoyed, threatening to kick me out, saying I’m ruining her birthday and she gives everything to us and that I’m selfish. I’m shocked but also kinda feel bad now because it’s her birthday but who wants smelly shoes? ######

Response: NTA - She's doing a fine job of ruining her own birthday with her toddler level temper tantrum. Maybe give her some matching socks as a birthday gift to prevent future tantrums? ( I'd normally advise not lending her your shoes anymore but I have a feeling that will just lead to more sulking, yelling and blaming) ######


Prompt:
So I work in the ER- and a few weeks ago we had a larger patient in a room close to the nurses station. You can hear everything in that room that is said at the nurses station. The nurse taking care of him was one who I find immature and just an overall bad nurse.
So this patient asked the nurse to be turned in the cart- our Er carts are small and uncomfortable. So the nurse comes out of the room and to the station and proceeds to say “alright I’m gonna need 12 people to help me with big boy down there.” “Alright sir, hold on I’m gonna need a fork lift.” To which I was appalled, at how inappropriate this nurse was. So normally I would tell the charge nurse but she was laughing along! So I texted my manager and they said they would take care of it. The nurse got written up.
Well this week word got out I was the one who reported her and her and her catty friend group have been giving me shit all week.
Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA - she was in the wrong and now they’re resorting to essentially bully you. Make a complaint to Human Resources, people like her should not be in that profession if they can’t be professional ######


Prompt:
So, a few weeks ago me and my husband found out we were expecting, super excited. Because of the industry I work in, I wanted to tell my foreman ASAP, even though I was still VERY early (around 3/4 weeks). The problem was, my FIL works in the same industry as me and my husband (construction), so we figured we’d just tell our parents that weekend to save them from hearing it from someone else. Well, we went to both our parents’ houses and things went very smoothly and everyone was so over joyed, but I did say very sternly, “ I want to hold off on telling everyone else since it is so early, i hope that’s okay”. But I’m not sure my MIL even registered what I said because the next thing we know she’s calling my husband’s grandmother and aunt...
I said the same thing to my parents and they completely understood and kept their lips sealed, saying they’d wait for me to say “when” basically.
Well my husband was telling me the next day that his mom had told his other aunt, and then his cousin, and a couple uncles.
I was immediately stressed, I’d had a chemical pregnancy a few months prior, which is why I wanted to exercise caution to begin with.
His mother has made mis-steps like this is the past. I understand it’s not just MY news, but I wanted to wait a few more weeks before telling everyone and their mother.
I’m finding it hard to move on, and believe me I want to. But at the same time I feel disrespected by my MIL, and want her to realize that. Not sure if that’s even worth doing with her though. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - She was being disrespectful and inconsiderate of you in favor of her own excitement. Something tells me she's going to be a problem throughout the pregnancy too. I'd probably talk with the hubby now about who is going to be in the labor and delivery room with you. Be VERY CLEAR about your boundaries with him and what your expectations are. Also share them with your medical staff. I'd also maybe avoid telling her until after the baby is actually born and you're ready for her to see the baby. She seems like the sort that would invite herself to be front row seat, regardless of your wishes, and who will snatch the baby out of your arms. ######


Prompt: My sister asked me to babysit her kids (2,4,4,7). I agreed but I told her that she’s going to need to give me food to feed them because I’m fasting and I don’t have anything but oatmeal ramen, and protein in my house. My sister said buy whatever and she’ll pay me back. I asked the kids and they wanted McDonald’s. I bought them McDonald’s. I knew my sister didn’t eat McDonald’s but I didn’t know it extended to her kids. She freaked out and tried to make her kids throw up the food. She yelled at me and isnt paying me back. I’m a poor college student and that $18 is my grocery bill for a week. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - SHE TRIED TO MAKE HER KIDS THROW IT UP? ######


Prompt:
Let me just say... my mother made national news 10 years ago. For one reason. She scammed many military men.

I have 8 half blood siblings. None of us have the same dad. My mother is manipulative and self centered. She scammed 3 grand out of my man. She has threatened my unborn child with protective services already.

I am due in August with our first child. My SO cannot stand my mother. She abandoned all 9 of her own children and now thinks she will get to see mine. I think not. I am agreeing with my SO about this. She has seen my brothers 2 kids but not my sisters 2.

My mother has proceeded to message all family making it out to be my fault. No one sees what she really does or is like. I have and so has my SO. She has made it so no one in my "family" likes him. All because we moved out when we found out he was paying 140 in rent each week... and she was getting assistance paying her rent. She only had to pay 99. My SO was paying for her weed and alcohol for my step dad.

When we found out we lost our shit and she threatened to kick us out. Now 2 years later we are happily pregnant with our first child (baby girl) and are blissfully in love. My mother thinks she has rights to my child and is threatening grandparent rights... unfortunately these are a thing here. We believe she is only doing it to try and take baby away someday... please anything helps!

So I ask... AITA?

If you want to be able to look her up so you know who I am talking about pm me. It could give you a better look into what I mean here. ######

Response:
 NTA - She threatend you already with CPS and GPR. That should be an instant no-conctact. Even if she sees your child, step one toe out of line, and she will follow through anyway and will have a better leg to stand on with GPR. Head over to r/legaladvice and r/JUSTNOMIL.

She has burned every bridge with you that a parent can burn with a child. She abandoned you, abused you, used you, threatened you and now threatens your child. How long must this go on?

Edit: She is a convicted felon, yes? Bye bye GPR. If she had any power, she would have used it on your sister's children already. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so I (15F) know the title sounds misleading, but please read through the whole post.

My aunt (we'll call her Sarah, 54F) is a very sweet person. She's been a "cool aunt", the one who gives us candy while we were kids, etc.

But as we grew up we kinda saw all her toxic traits, like holding children to unexpectable levels, bossing us around, being a bit racist (she wants my sister, who is a gorgeous brown black colour to put on a lot of whitening things, doesn't want anyone in our family to marry a guy/girl who is black, etc.)

So during quarantine, around the beginning of summer, we found that she had a non malignant tumor in her small intestine, and she underwent surgery in the area where I'm staying. She normally stays in another state, but now stays with us for some time.

Now, there's a kinda miraculous thing: there was no tumor, just a growth, which they scraped out, but now she's resting at home.

Now, most of the time I like having her around, and I love her, but she's bossing me around, making me clean every place, over feeding me (actually overfeeding me) and that was all kinds okay, but the last straw was when she would keep calling me to clean, to study (it's summer vacation) and when I complained of back pain (I'm having my periods) she completely brushed me off, saying little kids don't have anything like that, I'm [Sarah] the one who has pain, etc.
I felt really bad because she was invalidating my pain.

So I told her that even teenagers feel pain and things like that. I was actually yelling, and then my mom screamed at me because she says that Sarah is a patient and things like that. I don't really feel terrible, because each and every second of the first two months of summer were spent in taking care of Sarah and my dad (who's diabetic and has trunkal neuropathy.) I just feel like I don't get a second to myself. Also, I cook the meals along with my sister here.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA - she shouldn't be trivializing your feelings and pain regardless of your age, and the fact that she's a 'patient' has no bearing on the situation. ######


Prompt:
The title probably makes me sound bad, but in my defense I have a sleep disorder that makes it hard for me to fall asleep at night and makes me excessively drowsy in the morning (my natural sleep cycle would be something like 5 AM-1 PM). This means when I am actually able to fall asleep early, I get easily frustrated when woken up.

So here's what happened last night: my girlfriend woke me up at 4 AM to ask me if I had taken out the junk (they pick up on Friday morning here). I told her yes, and she then asked if I had wheeled the cart out, and I said yes again. Then she asked if I had closed the lid on the cart, because she had left it open and they might not take it if it's open and I said yes again. This entire time I was a little cranky since it was 4 AM and I just wanted to go back to sleep but I was keeping my cool and saying yes in a mostly neutral tone. Up until her next question, which was, "Are you sure?"

I admit that at this point I lost my cool. It's 4 AM, I am tired, and it's hard for me to sleep at normal times so I want to take advantage of the opportunity when I can to try to maintain a sleep schedule that aligns with more normal hours. So I angrily shouted, "YES!" back to her at this point. When that happened, she got very upset, told me I was mean and that I hated her, and began to cry. I felt bad at this point, so I spent nearly the next hour trying to console her in the hope that we could just go back to sleep. Eventually she did, but it took me yet another hour to fall asleep, at around 6 AM. Then neighbors started doing yard work at about 9 AM this morning, so all total I got maybe 5 hours of sleep (when I usually need 9 or 10 to function thanks to my sleep disorder).

She's still mad at me for yelling at her, but I'm also still mad at her for waking me up to interrogate me over the damn garbage at 4 AM so I want to know who reddit sides with on this one. ######

Response: NTA - She should care about your ability to get a decent night's sleep especially with your disorder more than the garbage. If she really needed to know, she could have physically checked it herself. ######


Prompt: My wife got very mad at me for buying a cot and sleeping in the dining room because of her gaming late at night. When she gets done with her work she likes to game and that is cool by me, I even do a little bit of gaming myself. The only issue is that I have to go to bed because I have to be up early and she will play survival games that scare the hell out of her and she will jump so hard and scream like a hornet just stung her in the cortoid artery. When this happens I damn near get thrown off the bed and wake up in a full blown panic attack. She is now mad and saying that I am over-reacting. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - she seriously can't understand that it is neither normal nor healthy to wake you up like that? Have you talked to her about it? ######


Prompt:
My grandparents took me and my siblings out on a bike ride. And when we got back we made lunch. And I made a sandwich with ham and cheese with mayonoise on the bread. And my grandma procceds to throw away the sandwich I made and said. “You won’t like that” and I said. “Yes I will” she then makes me a new sandwich with what she likes. And tried to give it to me. And i said no thanks I can make my sandwich how i want it” she then gies in a tyrant about how I’m ungrateful. And I just left to go sit in the porch that they have.

Reddit AITA here? ######

Response: NTA - She says that you won’t like a sandwich that you made for yourself? You know yourself and what you like more than she does, so don’t let her push you around about the sandwich you should eat ######


Prompt: I'm in HS and I'm enrolled in an AP class. Of course school has been shuttered, and everything is online. After the AP exams, teachers are allowed to go their own path, and for a final project my teacher assigned a project where we had to debate a modern issue from the perspective of two presidents. My partner was this really popular girl, I wouldv'e been amped if I got her as a partner in a real class. But online, I couldn't get a hold of her to coordinate the project. I tried emailing her, she didn't respond. Tried adding her snap and insta, she didn't add me back. So eventually I just did her half of the project and turned it in with her name on it. Anyway apparently the teacher figured out pretty easily that it was all my writing, and asked me why she didn't do any of the work. I told the teacher that she purposely ignored me because she didn't want to do the project. The teacher was sympathetic and gave me a good grade and her a zero. Anyway that was like a week ago, today I get a text from her, and she's frantically asking why she has a zero in her gradebook. I told her what happened and she starts talking about how that wasn't true, how I ruined her grades, she's gonna have to retake the class she's crying and this and that and blah blah blah. Now her whole friend group hates me and a bunch of other people too. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - She got what she deserved. I'd also make it REALLY clear to anyone else that she's a bad person to work with, and the teacher was the one that figured it out. Her friend group is taking her side to save face, but it's possible to share information / screen caps to prove your point. Eventually they'll get stuck on a project with her too and learn what a lazy, trifling piece of crap she is.

Just do you and don't mind the haters. You got the truth on your side, and eventually when you all graduate, she'll see just how far that popularity gets her in the real world. Spoiler - not very far. No one is going to give a crap about her when ya'll graduate. ######


Prompt:
My friend has recently bought her first house and has asked me to move in with her because she realised she doesn’t like living alone. I won’t be moving in until June/July and in the meantime she has gotten two kittens to keep herself company.

I love animals, and I don’t have an issue with her getting kittens. As far as I’m concerned, it’s her house and she can do what she wants, especially when I’m not even living there yet. My concern is that she has been talking about chores and taking care of the cat food and litter would be on my list of things to do.

I pet sit frequently for other people, and I find cats are always the one animal I don’t particularly love cleaning up after. The general smell of their food and waste doesn’t sit well with me (keep in mind I grew up on an animal farm so I’m not being precious about smells. It’s just cats).

I mentioned this and tried to point out that me moving in wouldn’t automatically make them my pets too. They are her cats and would still be her responsibility. I would be more than happy to help should she need it or step up when she is absent, but I don’t think I should have to worry about them day to day.

My friend is pushing me on the subject, so I just wanted to know where other people stand. AITA? ######

Response: NTA - she got them she can look after them, if she wanted them to be a shared responsibility she should have spoken to you before hand to give you the choice. ######


Prompt:
So I’m 6 months pregnant and I was talking to my friend who has two kids on the phone today. She asked how I was doing and I mentioned that my feet were really hurting today, and she said I should get my husband to rub them.

I told her that he doesn’t like giving foot rubs, and I usually use a baseball and roll my foot on it. She said something along the lines of “so what if he doesn’t like foot rubs, you’re pregnant, he should be giving them”. I said again he doesn’t like doing it and gets annoyed when I ask too often. He gives them once in a while.

She said to play up how much it hurt, whine all the time about how much my feet hurt, maybe cry when he says no, and she said that’s what she did when her husband didn’t want to give foot rubs. I thought it was sort of manipulative to do that and I said that it’s kind of unhealthy to be doing that kind of thing, either he’s going to do it or not but you shouldn’t be faking pain to have him do it.

She then got mad and said it’s not unhealthy, she was just doing a little harmless acting, and not to judge her relationship when I’m the one complaining about my feet(which she asked how I was doing in the first place).

I told her I didn’t really feel like talking anymore, and she then said I’m not the judge jury and executioner on what a healthy relationship(I don’t know that the phrase really works here but that’s what she said)is and to stop being so self righteous.

I’m wondering if I just should have let it go from the beginning, because she’s not usually so... combative so I think I must have crossed a line. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA - she got mad becayse you called her out on her manipulative behaviour.

I would also suggest looking at massage shoes/slippers, theyre great after a long day of work ######


Prompt:
Am I the asshole for not giving my ex-wife permission to take the kids to Mexico?

My ex wife told me yesterday that she booked a trip to Mexico with her and our kids for this Sunday July 12th for a week. She expects me to sign off letting the kids go but I don’t think it’s a good idea for the safety of my kids and current state of COVID-19. AITA? Should I let them go?

Note: posting this for a friend at his permission who does not have a Reddit account. ######

Response: NTA - she gives you less than a weeks notice and I agree with COVID it's not the best time. ######


Prompt:
This happened before Covid.

To celebrate a bit of good news, me and a bunch of good buddies and their girlfriends went out to a club where I'm friendly with the staff.

I had booked a table, and I ordered a very nice bottle costing around 2000 euros. I was planning on paying for it of course. Now this is A LOT of money for me. This isn't something I do regularly, if ever. But it was a special occasion, I had had a bit of luck and some excess cash, and I wanted to treat my friends.

The bottle comes, and I ask if anybody wants to do the honours of opening it.

A friend's girlfriend exitedly asks to open it for an instagram story (sigh...) so I pass her the bottle.

She opens it, and to my horror, takes a swig directly from the bottle before passing it back to me. I actually saw a thin strand of saliva conecting the bottle to her lip.

"What the fuck ?" I shout.

She just stares at me blankly.

No I wouldnt call myself a germaphobe, but apart from my GF, theres no way i'm drinking from a bottle that someone else just drank straight out of.

"You're paying for that bottle" I say.

"What ?? No way !!"

"I can't drink from that bottle anymore" And a couple other people nodded along in agreement, grossed out.

After arguing with the girl and her BF, I stood up, talked to the bar staff and security, explained to them what happened, and told them that the tab was now the responsability of the couple. Me being friends with the staff, I had that advantage of course, pretty sure anybody else they would've said Not our problem.

They ended up paying, the girl crying, and the dude wanting to knock me out. They left with the bottle of course. We don't talk anymore.

The consensus at work is 50/50, so i'd like reddit's opinion. ######

Response: NTA - she drank that bottle as if she paid for it. So you just made sure that was the case. ######


Prompt:
This morning, my mom asked for 500 (I am not going to state the currency, because I want to stay anonymous). I was happy to give it to her, but I only had 1000. I gave her that amount and asked when she was going to give it back. "I don't know." That seemed like a red flag to me.
But then I realized I had a 500 bill in my wallet, so I said I had the amout she wanted and I was willing to give it to her. Suddenly, she didn't want it anymore and said that it was not enough. Like, what? That's the amount you initially asked for!! Then she got very defensive and insisted on the 1000. I found that extremely sketchy so I told her that I wasn't going to give her any money. Am I the asshole for not giving her the money? ######

Response: NTA - she didn’t even seem too bothered about paying it back so in my opinion she deserves nothing. ######