Prompt:
Quarentine is making us pathetic y'all.

I have a killer headache and was laying on the couch watching something on Disney plus with the only tv in our house.

My SO asks me if he can play on the PS4 with his friend. I was in the middle of an episode and told him no, I was watching something.

Some quick background here, he plays this game with his friend every night for several hours, and even plays all day sometimes (on the one tv in the house). 99% of the time, I don't care and will stop what I'm doing so he can play. I have other things to do and even like watching sometimes. But this time I didn't feel good and just wanted to watch tv.

I honestly feel like it was unfair of him to try to demand the tv while I was in the middle of something. He'll have all night and his friend will be there later too. He ended up telling me I was being selfish and didn't know how to compromise, which he knew would upset me, and now he has the damn tv because he made me feel bad. He says I should have just given him the tv and watched something on the computer instead. The point wasn't that I wanted to watch something, it was that I wanted to use the tv and don't think I should have had to stop what I was doing just so he could play, since he'll play later too.

AITA for not wanting to stop in the middle of my episode and give him the tv? ######

Response: NTA, but also (and I mean this in kindness) stand up for yourself. Why would you let him basically bully you into giving up the tv so he can play video games? ######


Prompt:
I (36M) have a 17 year old son, “Trent.” He’s a really kind and bright kid, but he’s been making some bad choices this year. Last fall, he got ISS for smoking a blunt with his friend in the schools’ maintenance shed. They apparently broke in, damaging the door.

Now, my son has a used Sentra that I bought for him. He pays a little bit towards the insurance and gas, and he takes it to school in the mornings. Back in late February before the lockdown, I was cleaning out my car and decided to vacuum his too. I found a large bag of weed and some gummies in his truck under some dirty clothes. There was also a pipe.

I was pretty pissed, and I disposed of them and took back his car until I could trust him again. He kicked up a fuss about getting to school, but I told him to walk. The school is only two miles and my state has mild winters.

Well, the virus shut down his school soon after, so he only really walked to school for a couple times. I told him I’d consider giving the car back once life resumes, but if i find drugs again, I’m calling the police and considering an inpatient facility.

AITA? Some might say I was too harsh, but I just want my son to be safe. I got his mom pregnant when we were 18, and I want him to have a chance at a better life then I had. ######

Response:
 NTA, but a word of caution. Inpatient facilities are for addictive substances, which marijuana chemically isn’t. You can get psychologically addicted to anything but weed doesn’t develop a physical dependency in the user. I really caution you against putting your kid in an environment where they will potentially be exposed to users of much, much more dangerous and life altering substances over something so small. I think getting the cops involved also doesn’t really fall in line with your idea of him having a better life. If he gets tagged with a possession charge otherwise because he isn’t following your rules that’s one thing- but you’d be setting him up for the charge yourself to make a point, and I think that is misguided.

You don’t have to like or agree that weed is okay, and you can certainly not want it in your house or around your possessions. That is totally your right and punishing your kid for breaking your rules by taking away privileges is totally in bounds. But you’re talking about escalating this in ways that could change the landscape of his life, and that is a dangerous game you’re playing. Think about it this way- if weed really is a gateway drug then he’s opened the gate. Do you really want him, a still impressionable teen, in a facility or a holding cell with people who’ve walked through the gate? ######


Prompt:
So today my boyfriend and I were talking and I mentioned that a homeless guy peed in my driveway. I then said that I wished I had the ability and the confidence to pee in someone’s driveway(as a joke obviously). He then said that there’s no reason I can’t, just do it.

I asked how he proposed I do that without getting naked in the street, and he said I could just pull down my pants a little and aim forwards. The conversation continued like this in a stupid way until he finally said something about how women pee out of the clit. I burst out laughing and said that I didn’t think he was an idiot(also as a joke).

He then got really pissed off and hung up. I texted him and he said he was mad that I called him an idiot. I mean come on, really? Who thinks women pee out of the clit? Who even told him that? He’s 20, not 12!

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, both women and men both have urethras. But in all honesty, you'd be surprised just how ignorant some people are about anatomy. ######


Prompt:
When I was 15, my mom left the family. For a long time, no one knew where she was or even if she was okay. Eventually, it was discovered that she was just “too overwhelmed” and left to handle herself. My brothers and I were raised by our uncle and my dad from that point on, but it was hard. I became like my brothers’ mom and had to grow up quicker than I probably should’ve. I got into therapy and a few years back and have been doing better.

Recently, I found my mom on Facebook. It was by pure mistake because I reconnected with some other maternal family members that I guess are friends with her. She had the same first name and looks pretty much the same, with just a different last name. The more I looked at her page, however, I saw that she had gotten remarried not long after she left my dad and had basically started a new family. She has kids ranging in age from 2-10 years old. My husband told me to leave it alone, but I was so angry and I just couldn’t handle it, so I ended up finding out her husband’s FB and messaged him, saying that his wife had 5 other kids that she had abandoned, did he know that? My mom ended up messaging me, pissed, saying I had made her husband mad because he didn’t know. To me, that’s not my problem. You can’t just run off and neglect my responsibilities. However, my brothers and husband think I was the asshole. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, because your action was justified.
Building up for years being a mother to your brother. Seeing her being a mom to other children. Basically ignoring you ever existed. I'm sure it brought you to tears and anger. Idc what anyone say I feel you were in the right . ######


Prompt:
For background information, I(16F) didn’t grow up around my dad(39M) much, but moved in with him for about a year and a half. During that year, I never told anyone what had happened, so he didn’t know. But basically something very traumatizing happened when I went out at night time, that’s all the detail I’m willing to give on here.

Before all that, I already had problems with germs but it wasn’t really a big deal. After that happened, I asked my dad to stop touching me at all. No hugs, no cuddling (he’s very physically affectionate), not even handshakes. He didn’t take it too well. He said okay the first time though.

Not even a day later, he was right back to normal. It was just me and him living together, so I couldn’t get another adult figure to talk to him. I asked him once again about a week later to stop touching me, but he said that he gets that I don’t like it, but that he’s going to keep doing it. I tried explaining that I have a fear of being touched, and that it’s not some stupid “I’m a teenager so I don’t want to show affection” type of thing. I tried to suggest other ways to show affection and said that I know it’s hard at first but if we just practice then it’ll feel normal. He said that I was just being moody, but I didn’t drop it for the rest of the time I lived with him.

I never told him what happened because when I talked to him about another situation he didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t say it but he had the attitude of “You shouldn’t have made such a fuss”.

The thing that I think upset him the most was that I let some people touch me. I was okay with my boyfriend and my mom touching me, but anyone else (older guys especially) freaked me out. Even my little sister knows not to touch me.
He probably felt like I was only targeting him though.

Am I the ass? I feel like at the time I didn’t have a choice because it really freaked me out, and still does. But I feel like I really hurt him. ######

Response: NTA, because you should get to decide who touches you, but also start looking at therapy options. ######


Prompt:
(Unrelated to my last post if you’re looking for another update you’re SOL)

So my vet said since I loved them so much I should give them a rate and review on google.

So I did..

And I was honest..

4/5 stars, great tech, doctor was nice blah blah, but the manager was a total dick on the phone and in person. This is not word for word obviously

And I stand by it, the manager was a dick he has ZERO people skills, acted like talking to me was a chore, and his tone just had this overwhelming “i am better than you” to it. Made all the worse from the timing (my rabbits died) I think I’m allowed to call and ask questions without feeling like a chore to some pompous manager.

I got an email asking to edit out the specifics of the review..

Why ask me to review you if you don’t want me to be honest though? Maybe take what I said and use it to improve your business? Give your manager some classes on how to talk to clients maybe IDK?

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, ballsy of them to straight out ask for a review. The point of reviews is to tell others what to expect. 4/5 isn’t bad, too bad they have a crappy manager, they should look into fixing that situation if they want 5 stars and better reviews. ######


Prompt:
Okay so I have a cat. Her name is Kitty, she's a beautiful little crossbreed and my entire life revolves around her. When she passes, I genuinely don't know how I'll cope.

Anyway, my sister also has a cat. His name is Taz, and she loves him more than life itself. She's autistic, and he's very very good with it. Sensory overload? He'll calm her down immediately. She's crying? He'll nuzzle her and often times grab my parents for her. But he's also very fat. And they just keep feeding him. My sister is obsessed with him, and she will feed him whatever he wants. She doesn't understand that she's hurting him, and I don't want to upset her by telling her.

My parents know. Taz's breathing is getting awful, he can't just very well, and despite his young age can't play for more than five minutes without needing a rest.

I'm genuinely worried for his health, and my parents also feed him whatever he wants, and they do the same with my cat. She has her own medical problems, that will probably shorten her life span. I don't want to make it any shorter.

I have told them that they're killing him by feeding him constantly. They tell me I'm being cruel, and just trying to scare my sister, which is literally the opposite of what I'm doing. They also refuse to stop feeding my cat when she wants it. She looses weight stupidly fast, so it's not too dangerous, but still worries me.

They said if I'm so worried, I can just up Kitty's exercise (which I am doing), and that I need to stop worrying about Taz because he's 'fine'.

I don't want my sister to loose her life line quicker than she has to, but apparently I'm just worrying about nothing because he's only 'a little' overweight.

He doesn't look that big, but he's gaining, and fast.

So, AITA?

(Once again, I'm awful with wording so just ask if I don't make any sense.) ######

Response: NTA, ask them maybe to go see a vet together (with your parents), a professionnal advice might be more powerful to them ? A fresh start with a professionnal point of view,  to whom you can explain everything about the cats diets, we can't really judge from reddit ! ######


Prompt:
I own a retail shop / deli. I have this dude who is a barely regular customer. He always orders the same exact thing. Right after he says what he wants he glares at you / stares you down and says something to the effect of "you're going to give me a good portion right?" Hes a bigger muscular guy.

Hes done the same exact thing in his half a dozen visits to my business. He did it to me once and it definitely felt like he was trying to intimidate me. He did it to a few staff members and it seemed more aggressive / intimidating. I'm a guy in my thirties and my staff is all teenagers.

Finally today I waited on him and he did it to me. It definitely felt intimidating. I asked him what he meant trying to ask innocently. He repeated what he said and glared at me even more. I asked he was implying would happen if I didnt give him what he thought was a "good portion." He said that I "did want to do that." I told him to keep his hands where I could see them and get out of my business. As soon as I said that he seemed really flustered. Actually he seemed scared. I had a hunch all along he was a phony tough guy.

He tried to mutter something and I told him to get out. He left. ######

Response: NTA, as the owner its your job to make sure your employees feel comfortable and safe. He made them feel threatened for doing their job and definitely didn't deserve to be there. ######


Prompt:
We are both in our early 20s, together for 2 years and live together

His work schedule is a standard mon-Thursday 8-5. We usually go to bed at very reasonable hours and get good amounts of sleep.

He used to smoke weed in high school/college but stopped when he got a job that required drug testing. He recently got a new job that doesn’t test so he started smoking again.

I have nothing against smoking, but I do have an issue with how it’s changed our lives with each other. He will smoke as soon as he comes home from work, he’ll play some video games, we’ll eat dinner and then he falls asleep. For the past few weeks he’s been falling asleep between 7pm and 9:30pm. The other day he fell asleep right after dinner at 6:30.

The problem is, between dinner and bedtime was our time to hang out with each other. We would watch a movie or hang out or do naughty things. We haven’t done any of that lately because he’s sleeping so early.

The next morning he will wake up groggy and drowsy because he’s sleeping so much. I’ve tried talking to him about it and he says that it’s not because of the weed and if he is sleeping early it’s because he needs it. I told him it’s not normal for him to get 12 hours of sleep and then be tired again at 7pm. Also this didn’t start until he started smoking again.

Now he thinks I’m mad about the weed and I’m sincerely not I just hate the fact that we don’t get any time together anymore and I’m getting very frustrated. AITA for being mad about this? ######

Response: NTA, as someone who spent a lot of their younger years smoking, I can confirm that weed does make you super sleepy. When I don't smoke, I sleep an average of 6.5-8.5 hours and I'm perfectly rested. If I smoke, I can easily sleep for 10-15+ hours and still feel tired. It also stops me being social as it makes me super sleepy (even the non sleepy types of grass). I stopped smoking due to the issues with sleep. The stone over grogginess the next day was affecting my attention and I ended up getting to the point where I couldn't sleep without a joint. He's prioritising getting high over spending time with you, whereas he should be taking a night or two off smoking to stay alert and chill with you. ######


Prompt: . Just shoes. At target getting our 1 1/2 yo son sandals. Husband points out a geometric dark blue pair and I point out a plain pair with silver sparkles. He said they are for girls. I strongly disagree for the reason of they are nothing more the something to keep our feet from touching the hot dirty ground. He goes to say that they are seen as shoes for girls. And even if our son may like she shiny ones better he (husband) would prefer the geometric blue ones. AITA for telling him he is being sexist because they are just shoes? ######

Response: NTA, as long as your son actually preferred the sparkle shoes and you weren't choosing them in some lame attempt to appear woke. ######


Prompt:
My dad and I aren't especially close. I was mostly raised by my mom, and I don't really see or talk to him too often. A large part of that was due to his ex-wife/my ex-stepmother. She was an awful, abusive person and she drove a wedge between me and my father. Thankfully, they divorced last year. My father and I were slowly beginning to repair our relationship.

Recently, my father began dating someone new. I'd heard about her from family members, but he never directly told me about her. Let me say now that I have no qualms about my father dating. This isn't that kind of story. Who he dates is strictly his business.

Not too long ago, my father invited me to his house. After the experience I had with my ex-stepmother, I wasn't really keen on meeting his girlfriend yet, so I asked if anyone else would be coming over while I was there. He told me no.

When I got there--surprise! Turns out his girlfriend was *already* there. So, no, technically, no one would be coming over. Now, his girlfriend seemed like a lovely woman. While I was there, I tried my best to act cordially towards her, but I was extremely uncomfortable.

Later, I told my dad that I was happy that he'd found such a nice woman, and that she seemed like a pleasant person. However, I have no intention of meeting her ever again. Who he dates is his business, and I have no relation to her. After my ex-stepmother, I do not want to have any contact with anyone he dates.

He told me that I needed to let go of the past, and that I was being narrow-minded. I admit that this is perhaps a bit unfair to his new girlfriend, but I really don't want to involve myself in his dating affairs. AITA for telling him that I didn't want to meet her again? ######

Response: NTA, as long as you were polite. it's okay to not want to be around certain people that doesn't make you an asshole. However this will probably cause the relationship you have with your father to deteriorate. ######


Prompt:
Hi all,

I’ve worked as a swim teacher for 6 years, and due to this, have seen all sorts of disabilities/mental illnesses in my students. I’m not a mental health professional, but I have had training in recognizing certain crises and how to teach kids with autism/ADHD/etc.
I have a class at the busiest time of day, when it is extremely loud and crazy. It’s hard for even a neurotypical kid to focus. Additionally, this class is at max capacity, which is hard for me to manage and give attention to every student.

One of the children in this class, “J”, is 8 years old. There’s nothing on his file about any sort of mental problem. If the disability is serious enough, the parents are strongly encouraged/required to have their kids in private classes so that they get the attention they need.

J is almost completely nonverbal, and cannot focus. He is also in a level that is way too high; he can barely float on his own, and the other kids can swim by themselves in this level. He has sensory problems, as he often covers his ears and freaks out when it gets noisy. He shouts at the other kids for getting too close to him, and generally I feel he hasn’t learned anything.

I decided to talk to his mom about this. I told her that I thought he should move to a different time, and consider getting a private class. She defensively asked why. I said J had trouble focusing and he needed extra attention. Growing more angry, the mom asked why I thought that. I said he seems to have some extra mental and sensory needs that weren’t met in this class.
She immediately flips, yelling that I had no right to tell her what her child needed, and that he was completely ‘normal’. She was irate and told me that I wasn’t a doctor or professional so I should keep my opinions to myself.
I got in trouble with the higher ups as she complained, but I just wanted to know if I was in the wrong here. ######

Response: NTA, as long as you were gentle in your delivery, but nothing in your post makes me think you came off as insensitive or inappropriate. it's an important concern to bring up, for the sake of the kid. ######


Prompt:
I will try to keep this as concise as possible.

My wife and I have been together for going on 27 years. We met at a pretty low point in both of our lives, coming from broken homes and an unhealthy dependency on food. We both probably weighed around 300lbs, and though our weight has fluctuated over the years we both currently sit at around 350lbs and 450lbs respectively, with her being the latter.

I cook all the food that we eat as my wife is unable to be on her feet long enough to make meals. I am completely okay with this, as I’ve really been able to hone in on my cooking skills over the years and can essentially throw down in the kitchen. When my oldest daughter told us she was pregnant a few months back, it really made me reevaluate our lifestyle choices. I wanna be able to run around with my grandkids, but I can’t do that in my current situation. Over the course of several months I’ve been looking into healthier alternatives of our favorite foods and trying to exercise more, slowly implementing both into our lives and my wife was initially on board.

More recently she’s stopped wanting to workout with me which I respected, but I’ve continued to cook healthier meals and she no longer wants to eat them. I’ve stopped buying junk and with a suspended license she can’t drive to get fast food, so I assumed she would just eat what I made like she always has. She feels like I’m forcing a lifestyle into her that she never agreed to, but I’m not pushing her to eat what I’ve made or workout. I suggested she could learn to cook what she wants and I would even help her, but I won’t continue to cook foods I no longer want to eat. Does this make me TA? ######

Response: NTA, as far as I'm concerned. You've always done the cooking, that hasn't changed; she just doesn't want to eat what you're cooking now. She could cook for herself or order things from amazon or home delivery groceries or whatever if it's that big of an issue for her. ######


Prompt:
I(25f) recently had a child and my husband(29m) didn’t show up until about an hour after I had given birth.

I asked why he took so long to get here and he told me he had to help his friend clean their garage and that he planned to be here after it was done. I got furious at him for prioritizing someone’s clean garage over his wife going into labor.

He says that he doesn’t see it as a big deal and says that he feels like he shouldn’t have to go if he didn’t want to. I was really hurt by that comment and I’m not sure if I should have been mad. AITA ######

Response: NTA, as a guy currently sitting next to my wife in Labor and Delivery this is just insane. How did get his head so far up his ass that he thinks that his friends garage matters at all. Going through labor is both tough and hard and as the wife you should be supported in any way you possibly need. He needs a major correction as to what matters in life.. ######


Prompt:
Me [16M] and my girlfriend [16F] have been together for 1 year. We drove seperately to a small party 2 months ago. Her parents were out of town. The party was going well. We didn't realize there'd be alcohol there but there was. When I saw her start drinking I decided to stay sober so I could drive us both home. She proceeded to drink a decent amount and got drunk. She usually doesn't drink.

When the party was ending I told her to come in my car and I'd drive us back to her house and she said ok. Some of the girls at the party saw me planning to drive her and flipped out, saying I shouldn't be trusted with a drunk girl. I explained I just didn't want her to drive and would get her home safely. We aren't 21, I don't want her to get a DUI, and I don't want to risk her or others safety. They know I'm her boyfriend. One of the girls insisted on being the one to drive her.

I didn't know her all that well (and neither does my gf) and didn't know if she was really sober so I said no and told my gf lets go, and we walked to my car as those girls yelled at me.

When we got home I gave her some water and then guided her to her bed. We then fell asleep. I've slept over before and  her parents were always fine with that.

In the morning she was hung over and I took care of her. She apologized for drinking too much and thanked me. Later in the day she went to pick up her car from her friend/the host of the party. The host was not one of the girls who got upset at me during the party.

The next day, one of the girl's who were upset at me from the party texted me. They said the host of the party told her me and my gf slept in the same bed. The girl said this proves I couldn't be trusted. blocked her number.

I told my girlfriend all of this. She told me she told the girls I did nothing wrong, but they told her she wouldn't be able to remember if I did do anything wrong.

Should I have just let one of the girls drive her so I didn't seem suspicious? ######

Response: NTA, and your girlfriend doesn't think so either so that should be what matters. ######


Prompt:
Some background: I come from India but Im attending a college in the UK after accepting a scholarship.

So this started 7 months ago, so I told my family that I after I finish college I'm going to stay in the UK, I half heartedly thought they were going to be supportive but knowing my culture I knew that they were most likely going to be absolutely pissed and I was right, they were pissed as hell. Apparently I needed to marry our rich neighbor's son who was extremely average looking and also extremely traditional and they had already arranged marriage and I was extremely shocked, they expected me to still be immersed and obedient to our culture when im attending college in a different country for 4 YEARS, I told them that our culture was pure bullshit and I'm not going to go back to india.

A month later I get a call, the call was from our neighbor, they told me that my actions are sinful and an insult to god, and even worse the son joined and called me a whore, I told them that I will never accept the arranged marriage and to fuck off, after that I cut all contact will all my friends and family in india.

So Reddit AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA, and you know better than I do that is not over.

Your family will not just drop this.

Please take extra care, put your passport somewhere hidden and safe so you can't be easily taken out of the country. Let friends know what happened.

If you are fully ghosting the family, consider moving and give absolutely no one in your family your address.

Good luck and be safe. ######


Prompt:
I ( 18F) live with my mother and I recently asked for a key to lock my door because my family members keep barging in, my mom refused even though she clarified she trusts me completely because I live under her roof and she wants access to every part of the house "what if there's a fire and you fall asleep and I wouldn't be able to reach you because the door was locked?" she volunteered as a fire women so this is a legit concern she has.

 I worked hard to convince her: I told her my therapist said it was a good idea and she said it doesn't count because my therapist had a boy and she probably gave him a lock because she didn't want to catch him masturbate (which is *not at all* the reason why her *pure* daughter wants a fucking lock) and I got her friend  to help me on my crusade. She relented and allowed me to lock the door after 8 pm and here is why I might be TA, I didn't ask when to return the key in the morning because I wanted to have as much time with the lock as I can, I assumed she would just ask me to give it when she  feels like it, and in the meanwhile I locked the door even in the morning because it was nice  (the first night was heaven, I could hear my younger sister trying to barge in only to fail because the door was locked ) and honestly- because I think my mom is being controlling and ridiculous. So my mom called me and as soon as I unlocked the door she was there demanding the key saying "the experiment was over" because I broke the rules (kept the key and locked the door in the morning), I told her she was just looking for an excuse to take the key and screamed at her that it wasn't fair, so she screamed at me back and told me I'm not allowed to close the door now. I am shaking with rage, I am not a baby ever sense I turned 18 I've been trying to let her know I'm an adult and she treats my repeated "I'm 18" arguments like it's a joke. AITA for purposefully breaking the rules? ######

Response: NTA, and you can cure this habit of barging in on you easily, simply start doing it to them, your sister is on the phone; barge in, your mums having a nap; in you go. And make sure to always have something irrelevant or pointless to do or say when you do it. In all seriousness I would make this a hill to die on, either you get to lock the door or they get to knock and respect it if you decline to answer. If your mum is not in agreement, you barr the door with your dresser.  And the "what if there's a fire" excuse is bullshit! Internal standart doors are made of paper, if your mum is a volunteer firefighter, she's more than capable of getting through it! Or she shouldn't be a firefighter. This is about controlling you, nothing else! ######


Prompt:
13M.

My Dad’s girlfriend, let’s call her Jess, started spending the night recently. Before he met her, every night, I’d lay in my dad’s bed with my head on his chest. He’d stroke my hair and we’d talk for about an hour before I went to bed. I did this the first few days and she didn’t say anything until about an hour ago. She asked me to please stop doing it when she’s around because the affection should go to her when she’s here, but it’s okay to do it when she’s gone. She told me that I made her feel like she wasn’t even there and my dad didn’t care about her. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, and that was extremely inappropriate for her to say to you.  She knows this or she would've said something to your father instead. ######


Prompt:
Full disclosure: this happened several years ago, but I remembered today.  I went to an Italian fast food place whose name rhimes with Bizarro.  They had pictures of the food prominently displayed on the menu board and I saw they had a meatball sub with four meatballs.  I ordered said sub and when I got mine it had 3 meatballs.  I pointed this out to the server who essentially said ‘sorry, it comes with 3’.  I asked for a manager and pointed out that their menu board showed a sub with 4 meatballs and I had gotten mine with only 3. The manager doubled down and said ‘sorry that’s how it comes’. I pointed out that this was false advertisement but they essentially shrugged and said sorry.  I then asked for (and got) a refund.  AITA?

TLDR:  a sub shop had a picture in their menu board of a sub with 4 meatballs, but they serve them only with 3.  I asked for a refund when they would not make it as pictured. ######

Response:
 NTA, and that is false advertising. At least you got your money.

If they have a social media page, perhaps ask them there why they falsely advertise the no. of meatballs in the sandwich. ######


Prompt:
My friend (23F), who we’ll call S, and I (21F) both lost our jobs at the same company due to COVID-19. Since we both graduated last December, we were thinking of applying to grad school because the job market stinks right now. We both really like this one super competitive program and want to apply, but S wants me to wait to apply until the next round of applications because she thinks if we apply in the same round that I’ll get accepted over her.

To be clear, the applications opened Sep. 1st of last year and this is already the third deadline (May 1st). After that, it’s rolling acceptance based on open spots. This is a program I had looked at for months during my last semester in college but ultimately didn’t apply to since I got my dream job offer.

She thinks she has ‘dibs’ because she went to college in the same state as this program and knows a lot of professors there. I think if she already knows people there and I don’t that she has an edge over me anyway so I need to apply as soon as possible to be competitive since they’ve already accepted students in earlier application rounds. She also told me that they are waiving GRE/GMAT scores because of the virus and when I asked her to forward that information to me she said she ‘didn’t want me to have that information because then I would apply straight away’.

I don’t want to lose my friendship with her over this but I also don’t want to miss the opportunity to be eligible for this graduate program. So, AITA?

(Posting on mobile, sorry if the formatting is bad) ######

Response: NTA, and she's not your friend, not even a work-friend, otherwise it'd be a healthy competition with best wishes going both ways, instead she wants you to hurt your life progression to maybe help her own. ######


Prompt:
So, to preface, I'm a guy who works as a bagger in a grocery store whose name rhymes with ogre. Management is pretty anal about phones, so occasionally when I'm in the bathroom sitting down to do my business i'll check my phone. Most of my coworkers do this. I don't stay in there an overly long time and once I'm done i don't linger, so i doubt this affects my productivity.

This morning my boss saw me on my phone through the crack in the stall, and called me out on it. Fine, i was in the wrong there. But it makes my skin crawl to think someone's watching me do my business regardless of intent, and I'm pretty sure if I was a girl that would be grounds for a harassment lawsuit. ######

Response: NTA, and regardless of your gender that is an invasion of privacy and is completely illegal. ######


Prompt:
So I own a large U shaped house that was renovated to be 3 apartments. I live in one and rent out the other two. A family with three kids lives in the larger apartment and a single guy (steve) lives in the studio apartment.

Steve moved in a couple years ago and asked to have a cat. We agreed to raised the rent by $25, he had two weeks from getting the cat to show proof that it was vaccinated and neutered, and it had to be a fully indoor cat. All terms were met.

I gave the same offer to the family five years ago but they didn't want the rent increase. Instead tried to sneak in a stray and keep it indoor/outdoor so I told them they had two weeks meet the terms. They get rid of the cat and didn't ask again until this week.

This week the mother asked to get a dog and I told her that she couldn't. She got angry and said was being discriminated against because she has kids. I told she couldn't because she broke the terms before and I only allowed indoor cats not dogs. Then her husband said that Steve shouldn't be allowed to have a cat either then but he met the terms and pays the increase. Then called me an asshole all over social media for being bias against children.

A lot people are saying I'm an asshole for allowing one renter a pet but not the other. I've replyed to the post explaining the terms and violations but everyone keeps saying that it wasn't fair to the family and I'm an asshole. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, and personally I wouldn’t renew the lease of someone who called me an asshole on social media. ######


Prompt:
So my background was a picture of a dog that said "what the FUCK is oatmeal" by the way my background is one behind either a fingerprint, a 15 digit code, or a face lock so to see my background you would have to look over my shoulder whick is exactly what my stepsister did and then snitched about to my father who demanded I change it because it was "traumatizing and a bad influence for her (she's 10) (just for info I'm allowed to swear but they aren't) so my dad's pissed off at me and giving me the silent treatment because I changed it to a inspirobot quote that said "spy on individuals you don't know.
So AITA

EDIT: changed the background to chesquick (cheese milk) ######

Response: NTA, and now that you mention it, what the fuck *is* oatmeal? ######


Prompt:
For the past few years, I have been against having kids. I hate the thought of getting pregnant and it absolutely terrifies me. My parents have always hated me for that, but I can't really do anything about it.

My sister, on the other hand, is desperate to get married and desperate to have children. She has a few chronic illnesses though. Now that she has a boyfriend she's been getting ready to have kids. Researching the best part of our city to have kids, looking at preschools, etc.

Due to her chronic illness, she spoke to a doctor that told her that childbirth is possible for her, but the best route is adoption or surrogacy.

When she expressed to me that she expected me to be her surrogate, I told her that I didn't want to be her surrogate. I'm a healthy person, but pregnancy comes with too many health risks that I don't want to deal with our face, and I don't think I could handle the pain of labor and childbirth.

She insists that as her sister, I should be willing to step up.

Now I feel kind of guilty about the whole thing. She upset with me now. I want her to be happy but I don't think I could be a surrogate.

So, WIBTA? ######

Response: NTA, and no physician worth their degree would allow you to become a surrogate, especially if you don’t have any of your own kids ######


Prompt:
I have a ten year old dog named Max. I’ve had him since he was a puppy and ever since I got him I’ve called him ‘baby’ when I talk to him. For example when I get home from work I greet him by saying “Where’s my baby?” or if he’s just been from the groomers I tell him “Look at this cute baby” and stuff like that.

Just to make it clear, it’s a term of endearment that I use when talking to him. But I don’t think that Max is equivalent to a human baby and I never thought that I was a mom just because I have him for a pet. When I tell other people about him I say “Max is a shih tzu” or “Max eats potatoes”.

Now I have a one year old daughter, Mia. I never call her ‘baby’ when I talk to her, I usually just use her name. I say “It’s time to eat, Mia” or I tell my husband “Can you get Mia’s shoes?” and not “It’s time to eat, baby” or “Can you get my baby’s shoes”. When other people ask me questions like “How is your baby?” I know that they’re referring to Mia so I tell them “Mia’s doing great”.

At a get together at our house my SIL caught me telling Max “No, baby you can’t eat that” and was horrified that I call my dog ‘baby’, saying it might confuse my actual baby. When I told her that I always call Mia by her name she got upset and said that I am basically telling Mia that I consider Max to be my child more than her and I should think about my parenting before I traumatize her.

As far as I’m concerned I’m not neglecting Mia, I’m taking care of her well and it seems over the top to jump to the conclusion that I will scar her for life just because I don’t call her ‘baby’ and I use that term to refer to Max when talking to him instead. But I know I might be biased because I do love my dog to bits.

Am I the asshole here? ######

Response: NTA, and man, people freak out over the smallest things ######


Prompt:
Title sounds bad, the situation itself might be as well.

For some background: my wife and I are both women in our mid-30s and she's expecting our first child, almost in her third trimester. I've suffered from eating disorders in the past, I'm still seeing a therapist and my wife is aware of this, even if I try not to talk about it with her. Talking about weight gain is a huge trigger for me, to the point that I try to steer the conversation away from the subject if it comes up (if I can't, I nod politely and wait for it to be over). My wife also knows of this and I know she tries her best not to talk about it, but she's been a bit overweight her whole life and has always been into different kinds of diet. That's fine, I love her and I can take a bit of diet talk once in a while, even if I'm not too happy about it.

Things have gotten worse with the pregnancy: she's always commenting and asking me if she's gained weight (like, almost once a day, sometimes more) and I try to be kind and tell her that no, she's just pregnant and looks as beautiful as ever, but she insists. I've developed some body-image issues of my own in the past year and all this weight talk is, for lack of better words, making me lose my shit. Yesterday night, she asked me two times if I think she's fat and the second time I just snapped and told her something along the lines of "You've gained weight, but that's what happens when you're pregnant".

As a result, she locked herself in the bathroom, called her mother on the phone and sobbed for an hour as I attempted to convince her to open the door. She wouldn't talk to me this morning despite me apologizing and telling her multiple times that I love her and her body very much and I'm writing this during my lunch break because I feel so guilty I'm about to cry.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, and it’s not your opinion or anyone’s if she’s gained weight, it’s a quantitative number, that she should be reporting to her OB to make sure everything’s on track. Too slow or too fast weight gain can be an indication of further issues. I’m worried she’s avoiding staying on top of this. ######


Prompt:
My dad and mom split up when I was young but I’ve been close as hell with both of them until my dad started dating Kara (not her real name) My dad is white and my mom is black so yes I’m biracial and Kara is a massive racist. She has used the following slurs to my face the following

-	nigger
-	porch monkey
-	half breed
-	mutt
-	jigaboo

And not just her; her kids (9m, 11f) have also called me slurs. Of course if I ever tell my dad and he confronts her, she just denies it and starts gaslighting him. Recently they announced they’re getting married in December and she’s 6 weeks pregnant. Now of course Kara texted me and said not to expect any fried chicken or pigs feets served at the wedding because she’s vegan and it’s gonna be all vegan food. At that point I had it, I texted my dad that I will not be showing up to the wedding and that Kara is a mistake. He said I was overreacting and I should spend more time with her but I’m done. ######

Response: NTA, and idk how old you are and if custody is an issue. If it is, find out if your state is a two party consent state for recording and if it’s not, record conversations with her so you have proof when she uses these slurs while you are visiting dad. If custody isn’t an issue, don’t go to the wedding and minimize contact to just phone calls with him. ######


Prompt:
So a month ago my husband and I moved into our current house that we are renting from this guy. He also lives with us in the third bedroom. This was supposed to be a short term thing but because of obvious reasons we don't know how long we're going to be here. Neither of us has had a roommate before, we were both the first person we lived with other than family.

Anyway this morning I woke up earlier than usual so I made my husband and I breakfast. I made us eggs with toast. I used a total of 6 eggs and 2 pieces of bread. Our roommate came downstairs just as I was putting it on the table and was about to get my husband, and asked why he wasn't getting any. I was kind of surprised because I don't know why he would expect any. But he then got mad and said that he's paying for 1/3 of the groceries so he should be kept in mind if we're making something. The past month my husband and I have just been eating small stuff for lunch and dinner, no big cooking of meals or anything, mostly sandwiches and whatever we can scrounge up so it just hadn't come up yet.

I told him that I didn't make him any and if he wanted eggs there were more and he could make some himself. He said he should get some of what I made because he's paying for it and I should keep him in mind. I told him that what I used isn't more than 2/3 of what we had so it doesn't matter and I'm not going to cook a meal for him, I was just doing something nice for my husband. He said he was going to have to rethink our payment agreement for groceries.

Neither of us have ever had a roommate before as I said, so we don't know whether this guy is just strange or if I was really supposed to make him eggs.

AITA ######

Response: NTA, And I’d recommend taking him up on his offer to reevaluate the splitting costs, it sounds like you might all be happier if you each got your own groceries and were clear about who had what ######


Prompt:
I recently made an online clothing purchase, which I was really excited about. I expressed my excitement to my boyfriend while the package was in transit. Once it arrived, I put on one of the shirts and sent a picture to my boyfriend. He responded “wtf is that?” With laughing emojis and when I said “wow” back, he responded with “you can’t be serious right?”

I expressed to him that I was upset about what he said. I suggested to him that instead of making rude comments he should just say I look nice (even if he doesn’t think so). He seemed baffled at this request and asked if I wanted him to “just be a fake person”.

He tried to clarify that he didn’t mean I looked ugly, only that he didn’t picture me to wear something like that. He said I was overreacting and that I “love to make arguments out of nothing”.

So, AITA for being upset over something so small? ######

Response: NTA, and I think the shirt you picked does actually matter because he may be reacting out of insecurity and trying to make you feel bad for wearing something a bit more revealing. I mean really, a white crop top is not outlandish or strange. I expected you to say it was like some strangly printed blouse or something, but even then it would still be rude. Why would he laugh at you over a crop top, or for branching out and wearing something different? ######


Prompt:
Obligatory on mobile etc. I’ve lived with my flatmate for close to a year now and she’s been in a long distance relationship for maybe 6 months or so. We used to be super close but since she got into a relationship we’ve drifted as she wanted to spend more time with her new boyfriend (this is not the issue at hand).

The problem is whenever he comes over they have the most aggressive, animated, liquid-sounding sex I have ever heard in my life. We have quite a small flat and her bed backs onto the wall where my head is to sleep so I get to hear the full X-rated 6 hour show every weekend. I’ve mentioned this to her before as my radiator was vibrating from the intense passion emanating from her headboard for 4 hours straight one evening and she pulled her bed away from the wall. The issue is, I can hear every slap, grunt, moan, wail, growl that is uttered during these steamy sessions and it’s truly terrifying.

We’re all adults here and I’ve got no problem with her getting some but the issue is sometimes they end up giving each other a round of applause for hours on end. The lack of sleep I’m getting from hearing their amateur porn is becoming a real issue.

WIBTA if I asked them to tone it down? Also, how the fuck do I approach it without sounding like a jealous prude that wants to go join in? ######

Response: NTA, and I think if you are straight up and say "I don't mind you having your fun, but it's legitimately affecting my ability to sleep" and affecting your day time obligations, she'll probably be understanding. ######


Prompt:
For background, i have 2 horses. Both are older (mid to late 20s), but one is very old (nearing 30), small (just above pony size and just under 1000 lbs) and has some back and hip issues. She is still in great shape for her age, is very muscular, and still enjoys riding. We trail ride up the mountains near our barn, usually 1.5-2 hours a ride, and they can be difficult and steep, but she does great with me (I am taller but weigh around 115 lbs).

When I bring friends riding, they ride the smaller, older horse and I ride the younger one. This is because the younger horse is very sensitive and not beginner friendly whereas the older one is not sensitive and great for all levels of riding. Because of aforementioned issues, I am selective about who I let ride her as it’s difficult for her to carry too much weight, especially up the steep hills and for an extended period of time.

I have a friend who is well over 200 lbs, does not know anything about horses, and asked to ride with me. I said no and was honest about why, but still offered for her to come groom them and spend time with them on the ground. She went straight to the body shaming tactic, I was skinny so I don’t understand, the horse is fine if she’s always galloping around with me, bigger people deserve to ride too, she’s shorter than me so it evens out, I’m gate keeping horses, etc. I just told her my horse was an animal with limitations, not a machine, and that I’m not going to sacrifice her welfare to spare her feelings. She was furious and we haven’t spoken since. Some friends (who all re also not into horses) think one ride would be fine and I’m being an asshole about her weight. I strongly disagree, I even agreed with her that bigger people can ride, they just need a horse suitable for their size and my horse is not that. So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA, and I say that as a plus size rider. An older, pony-size horse is not an appropriate mount for a heavier beginner. ######


Prompt: My girlfriend has been vegan for about 4 years and we’ve been dating for 5 years. It was rough at first when she became vegan because we couldn’t go to any of our old favorite places and personally, I had no thoughts of being vegan so I didn’t want to eat the things she wanted to get. However, she made a decision to change a part of her life, which was difficult for her too so I told myself the least I can do is fully support her. Every Tuesdays and Thursdays, for the past 4 years, I’ve cooked vegan dinners for her. On Saturday’s, I took her out to vegan restaurants so she could also try different kinds of vegan food. I thought I was supporting her by doing these things but lately, she’s been telling me she’s going to get rid of all the pans and all dairy and meat. She’s basically saying I can’t bring in meat or dairy and cook any of that inside our house. I bought the house 3 years ago and didn’t ask my girlfriend for a penny to live here. I told her that there’s no way that’s happening at my house and she called me an asshole and said it’s our house and told me to go eat outside if I want those things. Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA, and honestly it’s kind of a red flag how controlling she’s being. A healthy relationship is built off of compromises and not one party telling the other what to do. ######


Prompt:
A few years ago, on thanksgiving, I had dinner at my grandparents house along with some extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins etc).
While we were eating, my grandma kept making comments about my two little cousins weight gain and how much they were eating. On thanksgiving. Where the whole point is to eat a lot.
They’re two young, active boys who like many other children go through different phases of weight. And they both have appetites.

She kept making the rude comments throughout dinner. Everyone stayed silent when she spoke about them.
Every time one of them would scoop more potatoes on their plate, she would say another comment. She started joking that they were “huge”, that soon they would look like sumo wrestlers and that we would have to roll them away from the table.
I finally snapped and said, “Stop. Shut up about their weight. It’s thanksgiving!”

I understand it was harsh and I had terrible manners. I guess I ruined thanksgiving for everyone else. I could have phrased it in a more tactful way but I was shocked by her comments. My family is still mad at me about it.
But I felt justified in defending my little cousins who just wanted to enjoy their thanksgiving meal.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, and holy shit, they're still mad *years* later? ######


Prompt:
Some background: My husband has been helping his mother pay for rent/bills for a while now since his father has been out of the picture and there's almost no contact. About a year into our relationship, I was asked for help here and there as well.

My parents are still together and they're better off, so I have been fortunate not face anything like this growing up. They've never asked for help from me or my siblings, so maybe I just do not understand my husband's point of view.

Husband has two younger siblings (ages 12 and 16) who still live with his mom, whom he also helps support. MIL was laid off last year and did not want to look for a job so she could 'finally relax' for a bit. This infuriated me since she has two younger children still living with her, yet still had my husband help out with finances. Now with the pandemic, work is hard to find. I told him I understand that it'll be hard to find work, so as long as she's actively trying to find work, I'll be more patient.

My husband is in the Navy so he said he feels comfortable still helping out his mother, but now we're talking about having kids. I told him I refuse to start having kids until his mother can support herself. He's told me I don't understand, but I also do not want to worry about supporting children while we're still worrying about helping his mother out. I told him I can wait as long as it takes, just as long as she's independent before we think about having kids.
AITA? ######

Response: NTA, and he really needs to stop enabling her. She can have a break when she retires like everyone else, she has children to support. ######


Prompt:
I (23f) live with my bf (25m) in an okay house. We’ve been together for 4 years and own 2 cats.

Our cats like to jump into the window in the middle of the night and how they do that is by grabbing the curtain and pulling themselves up, causing the curtain to fall down. One of us usually fixes it, no problem.

Well this morning, I woke up to the curtain on the floor and my bf at his desk. My bf has a routine of getting up and immediately going to his desk to work on art commissions. If I bother him while he’s in the zone, he gets pretty mad. But also during that time, he doesn’t make breakfast for himself and usually waits till I get up to ask me to make it. This morning wasn’t any different.

The thing was that I was naked under the covers and the window uncovered is the one that faces our neighbors yard. Even if it was empty, there’s still a chance of them or their kids coming out of the house at the wrong moment and seeing my bits.

I asked my bf to close the curtain so I could go make him breakfast, but he told me no and to do it myself since the window is closer to me. I told him I was naked and didn’t feel comfortable doing it, and repeated the question.

He got up from his chair angry, cursing at me and telling me I was pulling “a fucking power move” on him and he kept saying it while putting the curtain up. It hurt my feelings pretty bad. I changed into my clothes and made breakfast right after.

He refuses to apologize to me still cause he feels like I was in the wrong since the window is closer to me, but I see it as me asking a simple task that takes seconds to do. AITA? Was I pulling a power move? ######

Response: NTA, and he can make his own breakfast from now on. ######


Prompt:
My 8 year old brother is one of the worst people I’ve ever met and he’s only 8. My parents are too busy getting divorced to discipline him. I know he’s going through a tough time but he’s become incredibly mean. I don’t know if anyone else has every had their feelings hurt by a literal child but I have. He insults me every chance he gets, makes trash around the house that I have to clean up and harasses my pets. He likes to lie and take my things. He likes to rip things up. He especially likes to bring up my past relationships (I’m a female, 17) and say it’s my fault they ended because I’m a “cold hearted bitch” or that I’m a slut for “kissing so many boys”. I’m over all these relationships of course but it still bothers me that he says these things. Sometimes he says them in front of my current boyfriend of a year and I think it’s inappropriate, no one needs to be reminded of my past relationships?
So now I’ve decided not to talk to him for the time being but I’m afraid that will do more danger than go for him psychologically and what not but it would save me a headache if I just ignored him for a fat minute. ######

Response:
 NTA, and frankly, his behavioural issues are deeply concerning. The fact that he harasses your pets is a big red flag that he needs professional intervention sooner than later.

Edit: I'm in no way suggesting that the burden of that care would be on you; hopefully your parents will arrange support for him soon. ######


Prompt:
Ok so I may sound like a total a hole in the title but hear me out

Disclaimer for bad grammar I’m upset and writing this quick.

Ok so for the last 3 years I have been aware that my brother goes in my room while I’m at school (he gets home an hour early as he’s in elementary and I’m in 8 grade middle school).

Now I don’t like the idea that he goes in my room but he also takes my stuff all the time. Wether that be a old toy of mine or my coveted  legos (yes I’m a little old for those go off). The worst part is my parents never tell him to give anything back or try and tell him that it’s not ok. Apparently cause he’s young he is t held responsible.

All this has brought us today where on our couch I found the bottom half of my Isabelle amibo that I was gifted. At this point I was pissed because I had cleaned his room the day prior for him because it was disgusting (I’m talking it took me almost 2 hours and still is not the best).

Now I asked him in front of my dad why he stole it from my room and where the other piece was, and as usual when he gets in trouble he just closed his eyes and stoped responding.

So I gave him an ultimatum, if he doesn’t tell me where the other piece is or I find it before tonight ends I’m taking back everything he’s stolen from me. This includes a significant portion of his LEGO toys.

I don’t think I’m being unfair as I’ve told him to stop a multitude of times and to cut it out and this was my breaking point. I don’t really need many of these things he’s taken so I may just donate them all if I can.

So would I be the asshole here?

Extra info: I’m 14 and he’s 6.
. I still enjoy legos however don’t use the ones he’s stolen as often anymore.
.He’s asked me for things in the past such as       some of my stuffed animals and other bigger things. ######

Response: NTA, and for the record, 14 isn't too old for Lego. Some adults will spend hundreds of hours and dollars on them. ######


Prompt: My dad's almost 50. The girl was a college cheerleader for a sports team, and the daughter of a family friend. As far as I can tell she's like 24 at most, and she could have easily passed for younger. Like, if I saw her in my high school I would have totally thought she was a senior or something. I'm 15. My dad was talking about her and was like "oh, she's hot" and was basically being really weird. I think it's kinda creepy to say things like that when there's that big of an age difference, not to mention the whole family friend thing. I told him as much. He got mad at me and said "what's the problem, we're all adults, it's not creepy at all". I personally think that that saying things like that definitely gives creepy old guy vibes at the very least, and that it's very inappropriate and disrespectful to say things like that about the daughter of a family friend. Like, life's not a porno, man, have some standards. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, and as someone who turned nineteen and was horrified to realize I was considered, “fair game” by friends divorced dads, thank you. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway maybe future account

I am a 15 year old girl who has a mom. A few years ago my dad cheated and guess what we are divorced. Anyway my mom does not like me for having a relationship with my dad and expect me to hate him for cheating. Anyway a few weeks ago my mother adopted my sister who has the same exact name to me and gave her last name. So have the same exact names woo hoo.

Anyway today my mom was talking to her friend who is right next to her my mom got a brand new apartment so my friend mom asked for my sister but I thought she was asking about ME so I went in. She looked really confused. I then told her that my mom replaced me with a shiny new "toy" and that she pretends I don't exist. I am just stuck here because of a custody agreement.

My mom came out and so me and was immidietly  embarrassed.  Her friend asked about me and she called me a failure. At this point her friend stopped and told her that she was not fit to parent and that she does not want to be a friend with her. Anyway she left. At home my mom yelled at me for making her loose a friend and that she hates me now. I think I might have ruined my moms only friend ship  which might make me the bad girl ######

Response:
 NTA, and as for the custody agreement, get your dad to dispute it. “Yeah my mom adopted a girl to replace me, *literally gave her my exact name,* and has made it clear that she considers me a failure because I don’t hate my dad so I’d really not like be forced to spend time with her.”

You’re also old enough for the courts to take your opinion into heavy consideration. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway and vagueness for reasons.

I work in a very niche industry. I've been certified in my job & worked at the same employer for 12 years. My employer has a new(er) certification program for the certification level below mine - it works by 4 months of classroom training and 2 weeks of on-the-job training under a preceptor.

I was one of the preceptors.

I learned from a preceptee that an insane amount of my fuckups were recorded without my knowledge and included in various training videos. Other people are included too, but I appear so much that I have a not-very-nice nickname among students. I verified this was actually the case through my own investigation.

I asked the training department to stop using me in training videos. They refused and it was said that they have the right to use the videos since there was no expectation of privacy on my part. In response, I've quit precepting until they take me out.

This causes a reasonably big issue in the training program since I'm the only preceptor in this area and they aren't in a position to train more. This is delaying students graduation from the program and some are quite upset since they weren't scheduled to be in the city so long and have to wait longer now.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA, and also it's illegal to record you for such purposes if they didn't tell you, or it's not on your contract or any other document you had to sign. ######


Prompt:
I (M18) work at a fast food restaurant (this was about 6 weeks ago btw, but has been playing in my mind every night). The store wasn’t very busy with only a few customers seated eating their food. A young and attractive girl walked up to register to order her food, and my coworker began taking her order whilst I was left to clean the dining area.

I noticed a man seated in a stall looking a little strange, and pointing his phone towards the girl. I positioned myself behind the man and saw that he was filming the girl, zooming in on her legs/thigh area.

I immediately stood in front of the camera and asked the man if he was filming the girl. He looked up at me and angrily said “she‘s my girlfriend”. I didn’t initially believe him but then the girlfriend approached and sat down opposite the man, and called him ‘babe’. I apologised and said I was unaware and promptly left to save myself any further embarrassment.

Replaying the situation in my head since then, the man was significantly less attractive than the female and perhaps I just wrongly assumed that they weren’t together because of this? I’d hate for me to seem like a classic ‘white knight’ who thinks women need protection from men or something, I just didn’t want any creeps filming unaware girls.

AITA For stepping in too early, or was it just an honest mistake? ######

Response: NTA, an honest mistake. As a woman, I would want someone to do what you did, even if they were mistaken and it was actually my partner. ######


Prompt:
Just before COVID I movies into an apartment with someone I knew through a friend. He’s a really great guy and I pay half the rent, and as long as I pay my half, he cannot enter my room. This is just because I am a very private person, and is nothing personal against him. A few days ago I had gone shopping, and returned to find him searching through my files on my computer in my room, with my closet door opened. I ask him what he’s doing and he gets mad at me for having firearms (I had both real and airsoft in my closet) and certain applications and files on my computer. I told him that he couldn’t go through my stuff as per our agreement, which was written on paper and signed by both of us. He claimed that it was void as I has not payed my half. I pulled up my banking app and showed him that I had indeed payed my half. He got very defensive and claimed that he was not going to have “illegal items” in his apartment (All of my firearms were legal) or a “gay motherfucker” living with him (I’m Pansexual, he looked through my files and history on multiple applications and websites). Many of these files and web application histories contained very personal things which not even my family or closets friends knew, including alternate and private accounts. Currently I have no other places to stay, and have since installed a personal lock onto my door. He hasn’t apologized or said anything to me for the past few days. I told him that unless he apologized I would be pressing charges for privacy invasion.
AITA in this situation? ######

Response: NTA, although depending on where you live, you might not get very far on the privacy invasion charges. Also, I'd recommend verifying that the actual lease doesn't prohibit firearms of any sort as that could potentially get you in trouble with the owner of the apartment. ######


Prompt:
 I had two sons from my first marriage that are now teenagers. I’m remarried and 6 months ago we had a baby girl. This baby is my wife’s first. I totally get what it’s like to be a worried first time parent and it’s not like I’m not worried about certain things, but with others, it’s my third time around. I’ve been there. When the baby projectile vomits, I’m not gonna panic. I don’t judge her for being so, but I think it bothers her that I’m not and she worries that I’m not going to do things right.

When the baby was born, she kept reminding me to support the head. I told her I know, don’t worry, she’s okay. Then as she got older, she kept rattling off facts about temperatures for bath water, how to put her to bed, etc. I was really being as patient as possible and listening.

When all this stuff with the world started going on, things got a bit worse. Things came to a head yesterday when I was trying to feed the baby and she was trying to tell me how to make a bottle. I gently turned to her and said “I know why you’re panicked, but I’ve done all this before, I know what I’m doing.” She for really upset and said that I was trying to say I was better at this and undermining her fears, which I’m not. I’m just saying I have parented before,so I know what to do. She then said it was wrong for me to say that because I shouldn’t remind her of my past like that and I should be supportive. Things have been strained since.

Was I wrong here? ######

Response: NTA, also, you shouldn't "remind her of your past like that"? Does she expect you to pretend your sons don't exist and you never had a relationship before her? If so that's a bit worrying and she needs to get a grip. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so the title makes me sound like a Karen, but please read before you Judge. About half a year ago People moved into a house down the street, they seemed like they were going to be okay neighbors they would wave while unloading their belongings and seemed to be like the others. about a month later thought they decided that they were going to use their back yard as a shooting range.

At first I was fine with it (I am a strong 2A supporter), although the rest of the neighborhood had issues with said shooting (they are all around retirement age and liked the peace that was the old neighborhood). As a result they all tried to call the Sheriffs dept at one point or another. To their dismay As we are in an unincorporated county zone, they are within their rights to shoot as long as they have a sufficient Shooting Berm.

As of this month the fact that they have not received a complaint they have decided to shoot into the night, at one point not stopping until 2am. This is where I have an issue with it as I live with my Grandfather who is recovering from a series of strokes and my 2 and 4 year old niece and nephew who are hard to get to sleep and stay asleep so they will not be cranky the next day. as a result I have looked into the counties noise ordinances and found that they are in violation of those laws.

 WIBTA if II used my decibel meter to record the violations, and got written complaints from my other neighbors to force them to stop shooting during the night? ######

Response: NTA, 2am is ridiculous ######


Prompt:
Basically, I help organize a comedy club in our small city that donates proceeds to charities. Lots of comedians big and small come to perform and it’s become a big hit locally. It’s 100% a volunteer-based thing and not at all formally organized.

Once in a while we have amateur nights and even rarer we have “mini roasts” where audience members volunteer to be roasted by comedians.

Anyways, this past weekend one of our regulars is this 19yo kid with a slight speech impediment. I’ve gotten to know him pretty well since he’s volunteered with us before and wants to do things related to comedy for his career.

Well we had another roast night and he quickly volunteered. He got roasted. Some stuff was on his impediment but he laughed his ass off the entire time. His friends filmed the whole thing.

So not even 24hrs later I get a frantic call from this kids mom telling me that her and her husband plan to sue us for “ridiculing” their handicapped son. She apparently saw the video on his social media and without talking to him already decided to sue us for discrimination. I explained he volunteered but she said we should know better than to let an “obviously handicapped” person be the subject of “mean ridicule.” She said we had a duty and instead we trivialized/mocked his disease and suffering in front of dozens. She also told us to remove the video of the clip we have on our own social media pages.

I do feel a little bad. She talked at length about how they used to be in and out of hospitals when he was younger and how the comedians didn’t respect their pain (I guess she’s referring to the parents, not the kid). But at the end of the day we didn’t force anyone to volunteer and nothing was against his personal consent. AITA for ignoring this woman’s complaints? ######

Response:
 NTA, 19 years old, he made his own decision (and by the sound of it he fully enjoyed it)

Does he have any other issues than his speech impediment? If so then that MIGHT get dicey in some regards but either way it was a consensual transaction of well-meaning ridicule. Roasts are fun, that's why they've been doing them for decades. ######


Prompt:
I [F19] have kept in touch with my ex boyfriend [M18] since we broke up almost two years ago. We follow each other on Instagram and like each other pictures, that pretty much the extent of our communication.

Ex recently got a new girlfriend. I got a DM from him last night saying that his gf told him that he can’t follow any girls who don’t follow her on Insta, and she also has to be following them. He said that if I don’t follow her and accept her follow request, he’d have to unfollow me.

Some things about my Instagram: I have about 50 followers, and they’re all either friends from back home, or friends I’ve made in college. Basically, I know all of my followers. I don’t know who his new girlfriend is, even though we went to high school together. Not sure if this is relevant, but she has about 10k followers and is following 500+.

I read ex’s DM last night, not knowing what to do. When I woke up this morning, he blocked me on both of his accounts (one public, one private “finsta” account).

I feel like shit because I liked seeing what he was up to and all the traveling he did. But I can also see why his new girlfriend didn’t want him following his ex anymore. AITA for not following her, even though I don’t know who she is? ######

Response: NTA, 100%. That is *creepy* of her. She seems incredibly controlling, and that’s not healthy for him. Losing touch with people might actually help him realize that this is problematic of her. You did the right thing. ######


Prompt:
Last night, my (33M) 2 step-children (aged 10 and 11) were watching some funny YouTube videos on TV and since my wife (37F) was already watching, I decided to join in as well.

A clip played where a man was trying to jump from one parking pole to another. He lost his footing and landed right on his crown jewels on one of them. My step-children were laughing and I admit, it was pretty funny.

I joked "Well, he's not gonna be having children anytime soon." My 11 year old asked what I meant and I was about to explain before my wife interrupted and changed the topic smoothly.

Later that evening when the kids were asleep and it was only us two, she berated me for making inappropriate jokes like that in front of children. I mentioned that normally kids their age would be beginning to learn about these sort of things and there was nothing bad in doing so anyway.

She got mad and said that that's not how she wants to raise HER kids (strong emphasis on her) and I shouldn't even begin informing them by joking about it. I got quite angry at what she had said and I reminded her that they're MY children as well and she can't just exclude me out like that.

It went back and forth like that which led to a big, nasty argument (we exchanged a few VERY NASTY words) that ended up with her crying and me feeling like a total asshole at the end of it. I tried to apologise by making her breakfast in bed but she just completely ignored me and continued to sleep, which makes me feel even more bad.

We haven't spoken to each other since. AITA? ######

Response: NTA, 10 and 11 year old kids should know these things. ######


Prompt:
I moved into an apartment on the ground floor of a house which is split up into three apartments. The house next door is owned by a couple with several kids.

The woman who lives there has a temper... A few times, when I've been hanging out with friends in the back yard, she's yelled at us over stuff. Playing music with cusses where her kids can hear, being too "slutty" with each other, which was awkward... Etc.

As far as I can tell she never does this in front of her husband or kids. Her husband isn't home often, it seems.

Then, a while later, I was out getting my mail when four people walked by, the neighbor lady, her husband, and two older people who I think were either her parents or her husband's parents.

The husband asked me if I knew there was water leaking from the hose in the front yard of my house. He seemed friendly and like he was trying to be helpful.

I said I hadn't known, maybe the maintenance guy left it on.

But then I got a really weird feeling about how the woman that has said so much nasty stuff was standing with her family acting really chill in front of them.

I said "Hey, excuse me, aren't you the lady who's called my friends and I sluts, (homophobic slur), and (c-words) ? I was hoping to talk to you at a calmer moment.

She said no right away.

I then, knowing full well that she was that lady, said "Oh sorry, perhaps I'm confused. There's a lady who lives in that house, mid 40s, heavyset with chin length brown hair, smokes out back every night, who's said all those things and more, and I really don't appreciate it. Do you have a sister? A roommate?"

She cut me off and said maybe it's better I leave, and so I did. I heard fighting from that house that night and I think it was because of what I said, her husband and the older couple seemed shocked by some of it.

AITA for calling my neighbor out on front of her family? ######

Response:
 NTA, “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.”
(Edited to add- Quote is by Anne Lamott, I dropped the quote earlier with quotation marks but without the name of author because I couldn’t think of the author off the top of my head. I assumed it would be understood it was not a quote of mine based off that and anyone could search for the author if they so desired to take the time to do so. Thank you for the gold and also thank you for sharing appreciation of my sharing the quote as advice to OP. I didn’t expect it to resonate as well as it did on here although it has with myself and my social groups over the years. Cheers everyone!) ######


Prompt:
AITA for cutting off a decade long friendship. I was friends with this guy (“F”) since 9th grade. He was my first high school love because he was such a nice guy even though we never kissed or anything, it took years to get over him. He moved away and I transferred for junior year to another high school but we still kept in touch. I always looked up to him as a nice guy and always told him he’ll find a good woman someday. We used to do this 4-way on the phone with this friend and his girl.  The friend (“P”) is in one of the northern states.

Fast forward to now, I’m now 27 and I was jogging and he called. I answered and he was doing a 3-way with P. P has moved to FL. After the convo he says if he can give P my number, I’m hesitant but I say okay, seeing it would be awkward to say no while the guy is on the line. P text me about how’s I’ve been and how I look like now. I wasn’t too sure where he was going but we exchanged a few text and that’s it.

So a few days later, F calls me and tells me, “P was asking me if he had a chance to hook up with you, I told him take his chances.” I felt so disrespected. 1. Lack of respect for me because I never told him I’m searching for someone to hook up with and 2. I had a bf and I felt he was so disrespectful to him and my relationship. I definitely didn’t hold back she gave him a piece of my mind and told him that we are no longer friends.

Now he constantly calls and when I finally picked up, he said I’m in the wrong because he apologized. I’ll never get over it and I’m not even a little bit  interested in being friends with him again.

Reddit wise ones, AITA? ######

Response: NTA, “friends” don’t give your number to people who want to hook up with you when you’re in a relationship. Even if you were single it would still be weird to do, but him KNOWING youre in a relationship and telling P to go for it is morally wrong ######


Prompt:
Note: I do not know the people that live here. We speak different languages. I have had zero communication with them over 2-years. These people mean nothing to me. I am simply staying here while I apply for actual apartments.

The door to this building automatically locks when you leave UNLESS you stick a rug in the door and prevent it from closing. Generally speaking, you should take your keys with you, because if you go outside you aren't getting back in.

This one guy NEVER takes his keys. Yesterday, four times he went outside to smoke, forgot his keys, and spent five minutes banging on my wall to get me to open the door. It was 2am. I was sleeping.

The fifth time I got so pissed that I am simply pretending I am not home. He has been banging on my wall for 3-hours now, and I have just put headphones on. It is really fucking loud, but why should I have to do anything for his stupidity? It is now 1:30pm. He started banging at 11:30am.

AITA for not letting him in? ######

Response:
 NTA,
Understandable accidentally leaving your keys inside once but doing it 5 times a day, at that point he needs to learn the hard way ######


Prompt:
So evidently my roommate has moved her boyfriend in with us during quarantine. Before this he was here 5-6 nights a week, which I had expressed some discomfort with, but now he straight up lives here. Stores his stuff in the living room, comes and goes without her, etc. None of this was run by me. He also lives in the same town, so I'm not sure why the've decided to stay here but I'm not sure I can kick him out at this point given the state of things.

He likes to hangout in the common spaces a lot without her and do work on his laptop, workout in the living room, cook in the kitchen etc. At night they usually watch TV together in the living room. Previously I've tried to be respectful and give them/him their own space but I've been getting kind of annoyed with it. So recently I've been doing whatever I want. If he's working out in the living room and I want to watch the TV I just go and do it. The wifi doesn't reach my room very well so if I want to video chat I have to do it in the dining room and if he's in there too I just go and do it anyways. If they're cuddled up watching TV and I want to use the kitchen which looks into the living room I just do it.

The reason I could be the asshole is because everytime I do those things he just gets up and Ieaves and goes back to her room. If they're together in the common areas and I show up they usually stop what they're doing and leave. I haven't really made an attempt to rectify this because I honestly don't know the man at all and don't really wanna interact with him anyway. My logic is that if it was just me and my roommate we would have no problem sharing these spaces  which is what we used to do. I also pay about $1200 in rent so I don't think I should modify my schedule for someone living here for free.

AITA for going about my life as if my roommates boyfriend isn't even there even if it seems to make him uncomfortable. ######

Response:
 NTA,
This is your space just as much as it is hers and he is infringing upon that. He hasn’t got a right to act like you’re making him uncomfortable when he is sweating on the area rug your Mom bought you when you moved out. ######


Prompt: My sister is 6F. We have a pretty large age gap. For about two years she’s been using the word “yerchother” as a replacement for “each other”. As in: “we are playing with yerchother”. It’s pretty cute so no one corrected her for so long. But today I heard her saying it and I corrected her because she’s getting older. She’s starting to learn how to read! I don’t think it’s any different than if I corrected a kid for saying “buyed” instead of “bought”. But anyway, my dad heard me correcting her and freaked out. He said that she doesn’t need to have correct vocabulary. I think he’s just trying to hold on to the past. She’s in school and it’s just a mistake that will get corrected eventually, so I figured why not do it now, instead of her getting red pen marks on her paper later. AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA,
As long as you were being polite there is nothing wrong with teaching a kid how to do things properly. It can and will effect her in the future. ######


Prompt: A little background, my som is almost 2 and I post very little about him on social media, not too many photos, because I don’t want his face plastered all over the internet. Anything I do post about him is all private due to my privacy settings so only the people I want to see it can. My SO and I have told all of our family members this multiple times, but for some of them it has fallen on deaf ears. My SO grandmother announced my son’s birth on Facebook with a photo before my son was even an hour old and before we even had the chance to tell everyone. And now my SO’s grandmother has my son as her profile picture and cover photo on Facebook, and after asking her to remove it several thousand times it is still up as well as several other photos of my son all with the privacy settings on public so anyone that searched her page could see them. Would I be the asshole if I reported the photos to Facebook to have them taken down? My SO thinks it would be rude of me, but I am just desperate. ######

Response:
 NTA,

You've got your hands full right now, dealing with this should be the least of your worries. I'm sure this has been distressing.

How truly disrespectful for a grandmother to put such undue stress upon a new mother and to do so in a very public way. Your initial plea should have sufficed. I'm sorry that you're having to go through this with all else happening around you. This was a clear boundary for you and it's one she should have recognized. Social media privacy is a big deal. Do what you need to to protect your child.

I suspect this won't be the last of your run ins with grandma so keep your backbone sturdy. You'll need it.

Good luck, congrats on your new baby and be well! ######


Prompt:
So a few months back my cat Figaro had been acting a little strange, like not eating and just sitting there not doing anything, and I (12M) immediately told my mom that we should get him to the vet, so that’s what we did.

Now mind you Figaro is/was 9 at the time, so he had quite a few more years in him, and at the vet the doctor checked him out and he said the only real issue was that he basically was constipated and just needed a few days for it all to get flushed out.

Come next week he’s still not eating and my whole family is sort of panicking, so we decide to take him in one more time, and the same thing happened. The doctor said he was just constipated.

Then a few more days go by and nothing has changed. Two days later we find out he had major heart failure and had to be put down. Me and my mom were furious. Because the worst part was if that doctor would have taken the goddamn time to actually look instead of just say “Oh yeah he’s just constipated give it a few days”.

Anyways, we IMMEDIATELY took our business to another veterinarian in the area, and some friends of ours who also go to that vet have been saying we over reacted and should give them another chance.
So Reddit, AWTA?

Edit 1: sorry if my grammar and or English is a little fucked rn it’s 2 in the morning lol ######

Response:
 NTA,

I hate when doctors just brush things off. I know we can’t always be right and we will make “human” errors. But yeah, I don’t blame you for being upset about it and switching. ######


Prompt:
Before I start, I'm F18 and all the people in the story are around my age. Also, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
So, not while ago, this guy (M20 I think??) followed me on IG, and we had some mutual followers so I decided to follow him back. Soon after that I got a message from him saying he wants to hook up and a photo (dickpic). I immediately blocked him, of course. But because it wasn't the first message like that I've received, and I'm seriously annoyed with how some guys think they can do whatever they want without consequences, I decided to try something dfferent. With a little research, I found his mom on FB, and decided to message her. I apologized for messaging her out of the blue, and aksed (just to make sure I got the right person) if he was her son, with a picture of him. When she answers, I plan on telling her about the dickpic. She still didn't see the message though, so I guess she won't see it at all (probably because we aren't friends on FB and she doesn't know about the Message request thingy). But that's not the point now. Some of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because I did that, telling me I overreacted, that I embarrassed him and that it was not such a big deal.
Right now I'm not sure if I did a right thing.
So, AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA,

And, my response to unsolicited dick pics is I find really diseased ridden penises and send them back to them. If they are going to send me gross things, they can have the same reaction.

I’m petty, though. And I’m a nursing student, so the pictures don’t bother me too much. ######


Prompt:
Hello there! I'm a very friendly person and I'll chat with anyone and I always keep things light, casual, and non-committal because I love my space and privacy.

I logged into Facebook after YEARS off and decided to join my neighborhood community group of homeowners. Afterwards, a few of my neighbors requested to add me as a friend. I had no problem with that.

We would casually chat over posts and comments, nothing ever more serious than 'Star Wars is awesome!', etc.

A neighbor who had requested me posted something about minimalism and I commented that I used to live in a tiny home and how great it was. She mentioned she and her husband did, too and we both have Huskies so we LOL'd online about how much vacuuming we have to do.

She then immediately sends me a private message (1st time she comminutes privately) and says:

'Please don't message on my personal Facebook page like you know me.'
'I have never met you in my entire life'
'You have a lot of audacity or you're just rally (sic) lonely'

I replied back 'I've obviously upset and offended you and that wasn't my intention. I'm going to unfriend you now'.

She replied back 'I already unfriended you' and I replied 'Thanks' and that was that.

I'm so baffled. I have a bit of social anxiety and I would hate to make someone feel uncomfortable. I ended up deactivating my Facebook and making my Instagram and Twitter private.

AITA here? I'm not sure what I did to elicit such a reaction from a neighbor. ######

Response: NTA,  she could be a weirdo,  or she could be living with a jealous and abusive partner who saw the post and had a problem with it. ######


Prompt:
My boyfriend (we have been dating 3 years) is Hispanic, and his mother(call her M) only speaks Spanish. I know very little in Spanish, but I’ve been learning the language so I am able to have full conversations with her soon. But I wanted to get her a Mother’s Day gift that was a bit more special than I’ve done previously, more than just some flowers/jewelry. I have a friend who speaks Spanish and I was going to have her help me write a note in Spanish for M so I would be able to really tell her how I’m so appreciative of her bringing me into her home and always treating me as a daughter, and that she’s done an amazing job raising her sons.
I thought it would be a nice surprise to drop the note off at her house with her gift.
I talked about this idea with another friend of mine and she laughed and said it was kind of insensitive. I asked how so and she said that it’s not my language and that since I can’t even speak Spanish fluently it’s a try hard move.

She got that thought in my head now and now I don’t know what to do. Would this be an insensitive thing to do? I just wanted to create a gift for her where I’m able to show my appreciation for her but I don’t want it to come off wrong. ######

Response: NTA,  it would be a lovely thing to do. ######


Prompt:
Most of your schools probably have had the fundraisers where you sell their wrapping paper or food or something and they give you a prize.

We had one of them come over to my school and I looked at the catalog. If i sold 10 dollars worth of goods i got a prize that was worth like 25 cents. If i sold 25 dollars wroth of goods i got something worth a dollar. If i sold 50 dollars worth of goods i got something worth 5 dollars. If i sold 100 dollars worth of shit i got something worth maybe 10-20 dollars (couldn't find the price of this one online). I can't remember the rest this was all like 5 years ago.

The person was making a presentation telling us how we can raise money for the school. He asked if we had any questions and I then asked him "what percentage of the sales actually go to the school and not to your company?" and he said that "well we can't answer this question but i can tell you a lot of it will go to the school thanks for the question" and before he could say next person i butted in  "what's the point of me spending hours if not days trying to get 100 dollars worth of sales when i can just mow my neighbors lawn for an hour and get 20 bucks to buy the shitty prizes online for a cheaper price?"

Everyone starts laughing at this point and he basically refused to answer the question and told me to sit down. Principal came over and pulled me out and told me to sit in the office and told me i was extremely rude and disrespectful to adults. I became sort of a legend my middle school for this, though i was put on probation and they told me if i ever pulled this shit again i'd be suspended. Fuck my middle school ######

Response: NTA,  even as a parent i dont suport school fundraisers these days for that reason. Kids bust ass for nothing, school gets some small percentage. ######


Prompt:
So for some reason I’m the only kid (19F) on my mums side of the family that’s in the adults only group chat. I think it’s a mistake my Gran made it when she created it. Anyway, this has led me to get to hear the crazy ramblings that go on daily from my grandparents.

A couple days back we were talking about how hot it is out lately. We were joking about global warming when my Gran comes out with this dumpster fire of a message: “Or is it the fact that the air pollution has reduced so dramatically that there is not so much muck between the sun and the surface of the earth. Whatever is the reason, you can be sure that the Chinese are definitely to blame. I hate China. If I could get rid of everything in the house that did not have some influence from China, I would. However, that would mean our house would be very empty!”

I showed the message to my mum and we both shared a surprised pikachu face. Then with the guidance of my mum (so I don’t just call her a racist old bigot) I respond with: “I understand where your views are coming from Granny but we’ve got to remember we can’t judge a country/race just for a few people’s mistakes. It’s like Germany. It’s a beautiful place where a lot of good things have come from, but we all remember the mistakes they made in the last century. Hope you had a good bank holiday weekend and enjoyed the sun.”

The groupchat went SILENT after that, and now my mum has got a string of emails along the lines of “oh you must think we’re horrible people that never do anything right” from my Gran. I font feel guilty about calling her out but I do for making it awkward for the rest of my family and my mum. ######

Response: NTA,  but you might be better off leaving the group chat. Granny isn't gonna change. ######


Prompt:
some background information:
My family owns two houses, one in Pennsylvania and one in Brooklyn. Me (M19) and my sister (F21) are staying here in Brooklyn because we didn’t want to go up to Pennsylvania with the rest of my family. My other sister and both my parents are in Pennsylvania. They wanted to go up there to get away from you know what.

Ever since my sister and I were by ourselves, my mom calls me 4 times a day and asks me to see if my sister is okay because she never answers my moms calls or texts. I was getting seriously annoyed because pretty much every call or text I got from my mom was her asking for me to check up on my sister. It reached a boiling point when she called me at 9AM this morning which woke me up. She told me to check to see if my sister was ok because she wasn’t answering her calls. This is where I might be the asshole. On the phone with her after I checked up on my sister I told my mom to not call or text me again if she is going to ask me to check up on my sister. She isn’t going out (everyone knows why but we can’t say it). If my sister doesn’t answer her calls or texts it’s probably because she doesn’t want to talk to you or she’s just sleeping. My mom got seriously pissed at me and hasn’t texted or called me since then. I just think it’s so annoying how I’m literally being woken up because my sister doesn’t bother to answer her phone and my mom resorts to me checking on her and this is happening like 4-5 times a day. PLEASE NOTE my sister doesn’t have depression or any mental/physical disability she is perfectly fine, just fucking lazy.

So AITA for telling my mom to not contact me if it’s about my sister? ######

Response: NTA-your sister seems to have little regard for your parents' concerns and they need to take that up with her. Why not have an agreed-upon check-in time each day with your parents, both of you at the same time on Facetime and be done with it. You are lucky to have parents who trust you to stay in Brooklyn by yourselves; show them that they did not misplace their trust and reassure them at least once a day that the two of you are doing fine. There isn't a whole lot else to do if you are staying inside. ######


Prompt:
I don't have the happiest home life, my dad and mom got into a lot of fights because he was cheating on her. I don't know why they're still together honestly.

He's also been angry at me a lot for academics, I've been studying from home and he thinks I'm being lazy and stupid

He and she fight a lot, and when that happens, I just kind of mentally shut down. Like let my eyes unfocus, stop paying attention to my hearing or other senses. Just relax into my own mind. It honestly feels like an out of body experience a little, I feel untethered from my own body, like I'm floating through empty space. It takes a while to come back too; like I feel kind of like I'm deep deep underwater and anything that someone says or does is blurred and delayed so much by the time it gets to me.

I know that sounds super weird but honestly it's the thing that's keeping me sane through this shit.

But I think it's been making my dad and mom really mad, when either of them is angry with me and I go to that place, they get furious, they yell at me for being a "fucking vegetable" and accuse me of being messed up in the head. Tried to shake me out of it once. Been telling their friends that I'm autistic. I don't think I am.

I know it makes them mad but it's honestly the nicest thing I can do for myself, I'm so sick of their shit. If I can't go somewhere physically, I guess the next best thing is to leave there mentally.

AITA for going to that other mental place when there's anger at home, even if it makes my dad and mom mad? ######

Response: NTA-You’re doing what you need to do to survive in that type of situation. I used to do the same thing. ######