Prompt:
My mother has two children, me (28M) and my sister (30F)

I’ve been with my wife for 7 years, she (34F) has a 9 year old son, I picked up the fatherly duties as his dad wasn’t around and he views me as his dad which I’m really happy about.

My mother is obsessed with having grandchildren, I always thought she saw my son as her grandson.

My wife and I Skyped my mother last week for her birthday (my sister and her husband were on the call too) when I mentioned the present I had delivered.

She said, maybe as a joke, “*the only present I want off you is a grand baby*”

I said that she’s already got one, my son- my wife and I are  considering adopting too.

To sum up what she said; he isn’t biologically mine, she wants a child who’s biologically related to her.

It’s literally impossible for me and my wife to have a child together.

I told her to call me when she isn’t so up herself.

Apparently she’s upset and my sister wants me to apologise for being so snappy and ruining our mothers birthday over a harmless comment that didn’t even offend my son.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She ruined her own birthday by being a bag. My older sister has a 15 year old step daughter that we "got" when she was 2. My mom insists that she's the best grandkid ever because she was potty trained before she started coming round. You keep being a good dad, OP. It doesn't matter where your kids come from. ######


Prompt: One of my high school best friend is getting married and it’s a big deal for her we’ve talked about this as long as I can remember. I’m really happy for her but I am a full time college student and I work on top of volunteer work for my major. I would really like to help but if I’m being realistic it’s an extra thing I can’t really deal with at the moment. She is very upset with me and doesn’t understand why I don’t have time to help. Yesterday she texted me that if I can’t start helping more she no longer wants me to be one of her bridesmaids. I told her I completely understand and to be honest I was upset but I can’t promise her time I don’t really have at the moment. Me saying I understand if she doesn’t want me to be a bridesmaid anymore apparently upset her more and my friends are now all upset with me and want me to basically beg her to be a bridesmaid. I would like to be apart of her wedding but I don’t want to beg her for it and promise to help her when I honestly don’t have the time so AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She probably thought threatening to remove you from the party would cause you to focus on her more. You agreed with her, which made her more angry because her attempts at manipulating you didn’t work. I think you were totally reasonable. ######


Prompt:
My friend posted a massive status on Facebook after discovering her bf cheated on her. She then called me crying basically saying the same thing. How her boyfriend cheated on her with another woman, how devistated she is, how she is a strong woman who doesn't need that, how men can never be trusted and finally how she would never do that to anyone she loves. I listened to it all, listened to her cry and feel sorry for herself. If it was any of my other friends then I definitely would have reacted differently but I know this girl way too well, she is my best friend and we have are always honest with each other.

She then was looking for reassurance but I didn't give her it. Instead I said this:

"Sorry if you are looking for a pitty party or for reassurance then you have definitely came to the wrong place. It's hard to feel sorry for someone who themselves cheat on every person they have been with and brags about it. Now you know how it feels to be cheated on. Sucks he did that? Of course it does but it's hard to pitty someone who does that shit themselves. Mate I do love ya but in all honesty I can't feel sorry for you right now. I have never agreed with cheating, don't like him doing it, never liked you doing it but I can't feel bad for you because you are being a huge hypocrite... sorry".

She was really insulted about that. She started screaming down the phone how I'm meant to be her friend but what I said was bitchy and what assholes say. Claimed I slut shamed her and said I was an asshole. Personally I don't see that as slut shaming at all when she has literally bragged about getting with guys behind their gfs backs and being with guys behind all her exes backs. She has never felt bad about any of that and actually was proud of her actions. So why should I feel sorry for someone who does that themselves?

AITA for saying that?

Edit: She is my best friend and I love her like she is my sister but that doesn't mean I agree with everything she does. ######

Response: NTA. She probably needed to hear that. ######


Prompt:
As stupid as this all sounds my mil tried to get my wife to divorce me over a sandwich AND part of the family AGREED with her. I and my wife do not in any way think I am the TA but why not let strangers on the internet decide?

When I first started dating wifey MIL was actually nice to me, she was a decent human being. However I always felt she thought me and  wifey were going to break up. Turns out I was right because the second we announced our engagement the shit hit the fan. She started screaming at my wife about not consulting with her first before getting engaged( she knew we were thinking about marriage before hand). She started picking fights with me for no reason. If I didn’t open the door for my wife, I didn’t have any respect for her. If I didn’t offer MIL to wash the dishes quick enough, I was going to be a terrible husband. She showed her toxic colors, you know the drift.

Here’s the part where I might be the TA. MIL came to visit us and I offered to make everybody sandwiches. Mil said she wanted a spicy one. I told her we had no spicy sauce and she insisted on having a spicy sandwich. She told me to go buy some than proceeded to tell me exactly what brand a kind of spicy sauce she wanted. Of course I was done with dealing with her shit but trying to still be polite. I told her nicely that I would not go buy some for her but she could go buy some if she wanted. That did not make her happy. Half and hour of banshee screaming later we kicked her out.

So of course MIL told everyone about the incident, where I was the bad guy who was abusive towards an old lady. Most of the family fortunately did not believe her BS but I did get quite a few angry texts and calls from other family members. Recently A family member texted me about how much a TA I was and I was like, I have free time why not post it on reddit? So AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She prioritises a spicy sandwich at the expense of wasting your time. Just because she's your elder doesn't mean you are obliged to do everything she says. ######


Prompt:
This happened a while back but I’m bored so here goes-

 I had mentioned to my neighbour across the street that I was going to buy a sofa bed for our office to use for overnight guests. She offered us a small one she had in her basement that she never used. It was old but in good shape but the mattress had to be replaced. Said great, thanks, and I bought a new mattress for it (she knew I was putting money into it).

So after a year and a half or so I sold the couch and I had also listed a bunch of other stuff on FB because we were changing up the house and moving the guest room and getting a queen bed for it. The couch wasn’t worth anything, there are tons of free couches like it listed on kijiji, FB etc but I wanted to get back what I could from the mattress purchase (it was a $200 mattress and had been slept on once). I ended up selling it for $75.

Neighbour saw my FB ads and she comments on one of the pics saying that if I’m getting rid of the sofa bed she wants it back.

I didn’t respond and then that night she sends me a FB message, “As per my comment, blah blah want the sofa bed back if you are getting rid of it”.

I responded that i no longer needed it so I sold it to recoup some of the cost of the new mattress.

She then blocked me on FB.

Was I TA here by selling it and not offering it back to her first? I had tossed the original mattress. It literally did not occur to me at all to ask her if she wanted it back. ######

Response: NTA. She only wanted it back because it has "value" ######


Prompt:
AITA for wanting to retake my wedding photos?

Last summer I got married. My cousin is a photographer who lives in a different part of the country and she flew in to take the photos for my big day. There was never any discussion of it costing money, that it would be a family thing. She even stayed at my house while she was here. Family came from all over the country as we are quite a large family and it is rare to see us all in one place. She got tons of photos and she gave us a few of the ones that were took. Everything seems normal, until months go by and she still hasn’t sent over the rest of the photos. I’ve messaged her numerous times for her to send the wedding photos to me. Sometimes she responds, other times she doesn’t and just likes the message. I’ve offered to pay her money for the photos which she has declined to accept. I’m not sure what the issue is on her part at this point. It’s been a year and I still only have the handful of photos she sent over the day of the wedding.

I am considering hiring a photographer and getting some wedding photos taken again so I can have some to frame in my house. My only issue is I only have so many photos taken with my family and I’m disappointed because they won’t be the same as the ones taken on the wedding day. It will be impossible to recreate the photos we took when we were getting ready and leading up the whole day. I’m going to now have to get photos retaken and then when I post them on social media which then she’ll know I got them retaken. I feel like these wedding photos have driven a wedge in our family. ######

Response: NTA. She needs to send them to you, and it's weird she won't, especially if you offered to pay for them. ######


Prompt: So back in March when schools moved to online, my neighbor (who’s very old fashioned) asked me for my wifi password so her middle school daughter could use it for her schoolwork. She told me she was on a waiting list for charter spectrum and they would get it set up in April. She offered to pay me for the time being, which I declined. Fast forward to July, I figured the daughter doesn’t need it for school anymore since it’s summer and I was experiencing slower speeds. I decided to change the password. That night the mom “randomly” comes over with a gift card and asked if it is ok to still be on the WiFi. I asked her if her daughter already started school again or was taking summer classes and she dodged the question a few times. We ended the conversation pretty awkwardly and I’m not sure what to do now. ######

Response: NTA. She needs to get her own WiFi. ######


Prompt:
She came to me the other day and sat me down and said she’d like to stop taking birth control pills. I said ok we can use problems, no condom. She said no she doesn’t wanna use condoms. When I asked why, she said they don’t work 100% of the time (which is fair I guess but no birth control method works 100% of the time); and that the deed doesn’t feel as good. So I said ok what do you suggest. She said she’d like for me to get a vasectomy. Apparently she did her homework and my insurance covers the entire procedure which is fair enough I guess but I’m only 21 and I’m not quite ready to give up my fertility. She said that’s not an issue because vasectomies are reversible. I said not all of the time. She got frustrated and said she’s sick of the burden being on her and I said how can that be so when you used B.C. long before you met me, and I’ve always said if you want to get off it then I’ll support you. She said so support me and get the vasectomy. I said absolutely not, if you want to go and get your tubes tied that’s o.k and I won’t stop you but I’m not ready to sterilize myself yet.

Since that conversation she’ll ask me again and again if I’ve thought about it. At first I said yes and my answer hasn’t changed. But she won’t quit so I just say no or ignore her. It’s so annoying. She won’t entertain IUDs and to be honest her reasoning for being against condoms is kind of suspect. So she asked again just now and I said no please quit asking me. No matter how many times you ask I’m not changing my mind and that’s that.  Now she’s really angry at me because she thinkings VaSeCtOmIeS aRe So MuCh EaSiEr and I should suck it up but if I’m being honest the more she badgers me about it, the more convinced I am not to budge. So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She needs to do some research on vasectomy reversal. It can be between $4,000-$10,000 with a 30-70% success rate. If you want to have children in the future or aren't 100% sure you don't want any children, permanent sterilization should not be on the table. ######


Prompt:
My friends and I (all 20M) had plans to meet up for the first time in 2 months due to the restrictions being eased recently in my state and planned to meet in a park to kick a ball around and just catch up.

My girlfriend (20M) of 3 years asked to come before and I said no because I wanted to spend some time with just my mates and I feel like there is a bit of a different dynamic with her being there. She began to get very upset but I still didnt invite her.

She brought up that yesterday she invited me to see her 3 of her friends (they still saw each other regularly despite restrictions) which I did, we got along well and had a good time.

She claims that I am embarrassed by her but I dont think that that's true I just dont think this is the type of event to invite her to as it's just a group of 6 of us who have all been friends for 7 years.

I told her I would apologise to her and try to make it up to her if I was wrong so reddit, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She needs to be okay letting you have some tim alone with your friends. That being said, invite her next time. ######


Prompt:
My sister and I have been fighting for a while because she never gets me so much as a card for my birthday, and I always would get her an actual present. When I brought it up to her before my birthday in September she said that it’s because I make more than her so it’s only fair that I “give back”.

So I didn’t get her anything this year, which caused a huge fight in January when it happened. Then we didn’t talk until now, but we recently bought my husband a new car which sparked another argument because she said that if I have enough for a car I have enough for a present for her.

The point isn’t that I can’t afford the presents, it’s that she never does anything for me. She keeps going on and on about how I make more but I’d be happy with a card or a drawing or something cheap.

My mom thinks I should just buy her something to shut her up but I think that would be enabling her.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She needs to be grateful for what she has. ######


Prompt:
So  growing up I had one of the most loving mothers one could as for, maybe  even a little too much. Except for times when she had her episodes. She  has schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and some other mental ilnesess I  forgot about. But for most part, she is very normal and sane, due to her  meds. But that's the problem. She never was a very religious person,  but every year, without fault, she will have this desire to connect to  god for some reason. She then start going to church at least 3 times a  week, and it seems to give her some comfort, so I don't even mention it.  But what surprises me is that everytime she finds a church, they tell  her she doesn't seem to have any condition regarding her mental state.  And that is true, because of her meds. Some time later they'll convince  her that with god on her side, she doesn't need to keep taking those  meds that are making her get fatter and fatter. God is all powerful and  will help her get through it.

Do I  even need to say it? After a couple weeks without the meds she is  completly changed, she doesn't recognize me anymore, start hearing  voices, seeing things that are there. When she gets like this, she  thinks I'm the devil or some evil spirit.

Yesterday  I moved to another house. The bills are coming up, it's all in her  name, she doesn't have any money. Most likely she will end up on the  streets in a couple months, and I don't care. I've had enough of this  shit. Last time she got better I told her if she stopped taking her meds  I would leave her to tend for herself, and so did.

So AITA for leaving her when I know she can't take care of herself? ######

Response: NTA. She may not have a choice about her chemical imbalances but treatment is a CHOICE. She is the only one that can make that choice. If you saved her now it would only enable the illness to thrive. This way she might hit hard times but it may be what she needs to lead her back to treatment and back into your life. ######


Prompt:
I'm a 13 yo female, my mom was a cheater and a liar during her marriage with my dad. She ended up just up and leaving when I was 9 and nobody knew where she went. Those months were the best months of my life, I loved my dad. She came back a little bit before Christmas after she missed my birthday. The fucked up thing is that she left again on Christmas Day! I've hated her since and always wanted to live with my dad. She would always yell at me for no reason and get me in trouble. I do have a younger sister, but she never gets in trouble for anything.

Fast forward a few miserable years, I'm in 6th grade so around 11 or 12. I attempted to end my life due to my mom's bullshit. She always made me feel like I was nothing. I thought it would all be over, but my attempt failed luckily. I was put into counseling and told my counselor everything. My dad has always known that I wanted to live with him (my parents have 50/50 custody). I get to decide who I want to live with full time in my freshman year of highschool ( I'm going to be in 8th grade)and I told my mom I was gonna choose my dad. She told me that that wasn't going to happen and that it would stay 50/50.

I told her my reasons for wanting to leave and she said I was lying. That none of that happened. I was livid with anger and told my dad what she said. He confirmed everything I said and she wouldn't believe it. I told her my mind was made up and ever since she's been trying to buy my love, but she still yells at me and does everything she's been doing. I'm still going to live with my dad, but now I feel kinda bad for her.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She made terrible choices. Protect yourself from her. ######


Prompt: So my wife calls me into the room and proceeds to say "Hey Google, how do I get my husband to stop being annoying?" and starts laughing. I suppose in her defense this was said somewhat jokingly, so I just rolled my eyes and walked away. In the next room, I ask our other Google home the same thing about my wife. I was also half kidding, and knew I was going to get the same answer of "Sorry, I can't help with that." Then my wife walks into the room and starts talking about how that's not nice and starts demanding an apology from me. Needless to say, she didn't like the apology I gave, and went on to tell me she hopes a wild animal attacks me while I'm out for a walk. Better judgment would suggest that I shouldn't have said any of that but AITA for not giving a sincere apology here? It seems to me like she thinks she can demand an apology whenever she wants, and I just have to bow down to her and say "Yes, dear." ######

Response:
 NTA. She made a silly joke, you laughed it off, like a good sport. You made the same silly joke, and she decided to turn it into a fight with you. Sounds like she was baiting you to begin with and an argument was inevitable because she was looking for one. Tell her to fuck off.

EDIT: maybe don’t say “fuck off” though. Use better words obvi. Good luck OP. ######


Prompt:
I (17 pre everything mtf) have recently realised that I would be comfortable in life as a transgender woman. Unfortunately due to conservative parents I’m going to have to wait until I move out to transition.

When I realised this, the first person I told was my (now ex) girlfriend (17), a little bit of background she is clearly of Asian descent but her parents are white as snow, it’s clear to everyone shes adopted. She seemed supportive at first (using correct pronouns and my chosen name) she even said she would stay with me through my transition, I told her not to spread the word because my Dad could ship me off to conversion therapy if he heard about this.

At first I was happy to have told her but when I woke up I was flooded with messages from literally everybody in my year. Some where nice offering make up tips and the like, but some where calling slurs such as tranny or trap. And then I realised that there is a high likelihood that this is all going to get back to my Dad via people in my year telling their parents about the situation and then I’m royally screwed.

I messaged my ex asking if she told anyone. She claimed to have only told a few. I then asked where literally everybody in my year knows now. She told me to grow up and how accepting people are. I then reminded her of my VERY conservative dad and she responded with an eye roll emoji. That really pissed me off so I said “At least my biological parents give a shit about me and didn’t just sell me out to some random ass family” she left me on read after this and according to her friend she was crying on FaceTime.

In hindsight I could see she meant well by telling her friends but I specifically told her not to because of the consequences that would unfold if the word got around. I feel like an asshole for what I just said but I suppose it’s up for you to decide. ######

Response: NTA. She literally risked your life by outing you like that. I wish you a happy, healthy, *safe* new home. ######


Prompt:
Okay, so I’m writing this on behalf of myself and my housemates (7 of us total). Recently, it was one of my housemate’s birthday and invited a handful of people over including this girl. He let her sleepover at our house along with some others because they were all drunk and would’ve had to drive home.
In the morning, everyone leaves except the one girl. She continues to stay in our house all day- while she knows none of us except the former birthday boy who was passed out all the next day. She wakes up and starts drinking one of my housemates bottles of whiskey without permission and then goes to the grocery store. She buys a handful of random shit like a carton of eggs, cream cheese, coffee creamer, a wrap, a container of sauce. Note that she asked us if we wanted anything before leaving.
She wanders around the house all day and leaves and comes back again and ifs visibly fucked up. She even said to me that she’s been “going all day.” Then finally she gets the hint that it’s weird she’s there bc we don’t know her. She leaves and then has to come back for her phone– again bc she was drunk all day.
We don’t hear from
her until a few days later, she tells the birthday boy that she wants us to venmo her for that shit back. Like dude– we don’t know you, you were fucked up at our house, and left shit. We ate most the groceries so what should be done?
Am i the asshole for not eating the shit / then not venmoing her? ######

Response: NTA. She left it there, she could have taken it with her. No one asked her to buy it. Tell her the whiskey she drank without permission is her payment. ######


Prompt:
I honestly don't know if I did the right thing. I live by myself, and my little sister was over for the weekend, and this has been eating at me, so I need judgment.

My sister (12) was ranting about how she feels her parents (she's my stepsister) always favor our little sibling, and she had _quite_ the list of examples.

Personally, the way her parents, my parent and step parent, made it clear how I was the least favorite child has damaged me quite badly, as in, I needed therapy and all the shit. I wanted to be there for my little sister, so I told her that, while it broke my heart that I cannot fix it for her and she is stuck in the same situation I was stuck in, I know how she feels, and that I felt the exact same way when I was younger, and that I am also seeing that her little sibling is being favored over her, so she is not just imagining things. I told her that I am always there for her, she can call me whenever she needs to vent, and if she really can't take it anymore, she can always schedule to come over to my place to spend a bit of time away from her parents to just let it all out.

I am now wondering if I shouldn't have just tried to affirm her of the fact that her parents love her a lot. As in, I _tried_ talking to them when I was going through it, but they are seriously not aware of the fact that they are treating different children differently, no matter how many examples you have. I mean, I _am_ convinced that they love her, but I just think that they don't realize that they are doing this to their daughter.

I am kinda scared that by telling her that they put me through the same thing, I may have planted a seed that might drive a wedge between them, while it might have been better for her and her parents to just try to smooth it over. So, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She left having been heard, believed, respected, and with a safe place to use again later. ######


Prompt:
Am I the asshole for freaking out on my girlfriend for making me think she’s pregnant?

For some context, we’re both 17 and going into our senior year of high school. My parents had me at a really young age and it sort of derailed their lives. For this reason, I’ve been so scared of having kids of my own, especially at a young age with the fear of not being adequate to care for them, or it stunting my dreams. I’m not sure if I’ll even want kids ever. I’ve expressed this to her and explained how terrified I am of parenthood. She and her niece (16) decided to play a prank on me where they send me a picture of a positive test and tell me she’s pregnant. I was skeptical at first, but I called her and she was believably crying and eventually told me when I said I had to tell my mom and ask for guidance. Once she told me it was a joke, I hung up and wouldn’t take any of her calls. She expressed remorse and I’m starting to feel I may have overreacted a bit, however I feel like this isn’t just some irrational fear, there’s some deep rooted psychological problems involved in this, and I don’t think she understands. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She knew that was a deep fear of yours and chose to exploit it for laughs. You cant trust this girl. Dump her. ######


Prompt:
I live in an apartment that I moved into in September 2019. Since arriving, I have had probably close to 20 packages show up at my door addressed to someone I've never met. Let's say the name is Autumn. The packages all have my address and Autumn's name. Since they're not addressed to me, I just leave them outside and eventually they've all been picked up. I've never seen anyone pick them up, but they're always gone in 2-3 days.

At first I thought it must be the previous tenant who forgot to forward their mail, but I've never gotten a piece of mail addressed to Autumn. I do get mail addressed to previous tenants occasionally, but never a single piece addressed to her. I even mentioned this to my building manager, and she said she's never heard of Autumn. It's possible that she lived at this address with someone else and was just never on the lease, but still, she's never lived here.

My guess is that she has her packages sent here because we have a gate with a code, as opposed to other apartment buildings in my city which are open to the street. Almost all the packages have been marked on the outside as expensive cosmetics brands. I get that she doesn't want her stuff stolen, but it kind of pisses me off that a stranger is using my address as a free PO box. Like, if she can afford to order expensive makeup 2-4 times a month surely she has a little extra cash for a PO box, right?

On top of it all, this means that a stranger who has never officially lived in my building is still using our gate code to gain access to the building frequently. Which is in itself kind of skeevy, right?

I've considered leaving a short "please stop having your packages sent here" note, but haven't acted yet. ######

Response:
 NTA. She is massively, for obvious reasons no one has to explain.

Every time you get a package like that, take it inside so she can't get it. That breaks her scheme right there. They aren't yours, but you can and should take them inside and then eventually make a trip to UPS or whoever send it and explain that the address is yours, but the person's name who is on the package doesn't live there and it must have been an error. Have it sent back to the shipper.

If you catch the deliver guy while he is there, refuse delivery and insist it goes back with the delivery guy. If this is through USPS, go to your USPS location and ask to fill out the form preventing mail delivery to your address for that person's name.

If she can no longer get her packages from outside your apartment this scheme of her's stops working and she will stop putting your address in. She might put someone else's address but at that point it's not your problem.

And as to why she is doing it, have you ever considered that it's someone buying merchandise with stolen credit cards, putting a fake name and your address for delivery and they pick it up from your place to avoid the stolen goods being tracked to where they actually live? You could be being used in an illegal, fraudulent scheme. ######


Prompt:
We have a friend who came out openly as a lesbian two years ago (we're all 15 y/o now) and ever since the beginning of the last school semester, she's been touching me.

She was always hugging me from behind, or pinching my butt, or squeezing my breasts. At first it didn't bother me because my friends and I all playfully do this to each other, but then I started to notice that she was doing it more frequently to me than them.

Whenever we sat down, she always found some way to sit next to me, and always found some way to put her hand on my knee.

Our group likes to do "air kisses" - where you kiss the air on each side of someone's cheek - but more than once, she has "accidentally" kissed my actual cheek. But she never "accidentally" kisses any of our other friend's cheeks...

Right before they canceled school, she made a beaded bracelet for everyone in our friend group, but mine and hers were the only ones with hearts on it.

I'm too afraid to tell any of my other friends what she is doing to me because I don't want them to think I'm homophobic. COVID has been a safe haven for me because it gave me an excuse to avoid her for many months.

But we're all supposed to hang out tomorrow and I don't know if I can keep doing this. She's touched me so much that even as I write this I can think forward to tomorrow and already feel her touching me again.

Will I be the asshole if I tell her to stop?

TL;Dr I have a lesbian friend who touched me so mucb that I want to tell her to stop touching me, but our group is a very touchy-feely group and I don't want my friends to accuse me of being homophobic. ######

Response:
 NTA. She is making you uncomfortable, and that's not okay. You have a right to feel comfortable in your own skin and around your friends. Not wanting to be overly groped by someone who happens to be a lesbian doesn't make you homophobic, it just makes you a person who doesn't want to be overly groped.

I wouldn't necessarily call her out in front of everyone else. But perhaps let everyone know that you're uncomfortable being touched (AKA, don't announce "\[Friend\], don't touch me" when you're in front of everyone). If she gets upset, that's not on you -- because if she truly sees you as a friend, she should respect your wishes. ######


Prompt:
I recently re-connected with a friend from high school when her husband was accepted into a masters program at the same university where I am attending grad school. We were both really excited when we found out we would be living in the same city.

However. She is vastly different from the person I used to know. She was SOOO ambitious in high school and both of us had dreams of attending medical school and maybe even going into private practice together. (I know, I know, we were young and naive when we made these plans and people change). Sometime in college (we went to different schools), she met a guy, married him, and dropped out of school.

She is now a "stay-at-home mom." I say this in quotes because her mother also lives with them and basically takes care of the grandchild. This friend likes to complain how hard she has it because they have to live on her husband's stipend from grad school and how she thinks clipping coupons and applying to welfare is "humiliating." Apparently, she never envisioned herself being so "poor."

I have heard this story so many times my ears want to bleed. After the 5th iteration, my patience wore out at about 3 minutes into her whining. I'll admit, I not-so-kindly suggested that she get a job if she feels that her current life is beneath her. She proceeds to accuse me of being anti-feminist (did not follow that argument) and for having a holier-than-thou attitude because I happened to get "lucky" and got into medical school. There was also something about hating against religion because she and her husband are Mormon and, evidently, women are not expected to work. She stormed out of the coffee shop and I got to enjoy my latte in peace.

AITA for how I responded? Should I have just sat there and nodded along? I have never been so brusque with a friend before, but her entire woe-is-me mentality was INFURIATING. ######

Response: NTA. She is an arsehole for complaining ad nauseam about something that she *could* change but isn’t *willing* to change. ######


Prompt: my (18) sister (23) does this thing where she’ll take the rest of the pads when there’s not much left and doesn’t tell anyone. i’m fine with her taking the pads but i just want her to tell me beforehand so that i can ask mom to buy pads. she doesn’t tell me until after i ask her where the pads are. she has done this multiple times before btw. this morning, my period decided to come early and when i asked where the pads were, my sister went into her room (the pads are supposed to stay in the bathroom) and gave me two pads. now that i have money to buy pads,  i’m thinking about going to the store tomorrow, buying pads, and hiding them. i know my sister will be mad and my mom will be on her side but it’s honestly annoying that she doesn’t say anything about the lack of pads when she knows she isn’t the only household member who gets a period. ######

Response: NTA. She is also hiding them... ######


Prompt:
So, I (22f) love to sleep. My mom is working from home and spends most of her time in the kitchen. I wouldn’t call myself a night owl per sé, but I would say that no matter how late I stay up, I can end up sleeping until pretty late in the morning. My mom doesn’t like this. She usually doesn’t like when people are asleep while she is awake. This was a quality that partly led her to divorce my dad since he worked night shifts and slept during the day.

When she started getting up at 4:30 every morning, she decided to let go on getting everyone else up since that was an unreasonable time for me and my stepdad for obvious reasons. That being said, if I’m not awake by 9:30 am, she often comes in my room to vacuum, go through my closet to find laundry, start conversations, open my windows (she also doesn’t like knowing that someone’s curtains are closed when it’s daytime), and try to get me out of bed when I’m nowhere near awake. Her claim is if I don’t want her to do that, then I should be going to bed at the same time as her every night (8:30pm) that way I don’t feel tired in the mornings or sleep in.

About ten years ago, locks were installed on all of the doors in the house when my stepbrother stole the household phones and cell phones to get back at us for not sharing our phones when he broke his out of anger. After he moved out, I was told that if my door was locked for any reason other than to get dressed, the door would be taken off it’s hinges. I was 13 at the time and haven’t been told anything different since it was a fire hazard when my moms room was on the opposite side of the house. Renovations have happened since and that is no longer the case.

I want to start locking my door to keep my mom out of my room while I’m asleep, and I’ll get up when I want to get up. But if I do, I’m worried I’ll lose privacy since I’m technically still under her roof.
Reddit, WIBTA if I started locking my door? ######

Response:
 NTA. She has unreasonable expectations. You'd think she would have realized that after it contributed to the divorce. I really don't understand why should everyone conform to her weird schedule.

You said she's working from home and spends time in the kitchen. How does someone sleeping and not making noise cause a problem for her? Is she lonely or something?

Lock your door and see what happens. If she tries to retaliate, try having a rational discussion with her. You're 22, not 12. She should respect you instead of trying to control the way you live your life. A different sleep schedule is really not a valid cause for concern here.

I also think it's weird to insist on keeping the curtains open. ######


Prompt:
 My daughter (20F) started a diet a few weeks ago where she doesn’t eat after 7PM. I’ve read mixed things on this, but nothing dangerous. She is active, eats healthy on the regular. So, she’s not starving herself. So, I didn’t say anything on it.

Then she got into a fight with her dad yesterday. This whole “no one can leave the house” is great for relationships I tell you. She’s refused to talk to him or be in the same room as him for days. She took a nap today and woke up at like 6:30 PM. My husband was in the kitchen cooking. Now, I was not downstairs at the time but I guess he stayed in there for an hour cooking dinner. She could’ve easily gone in there and gotten something to eat for herself and gone back to her room (he was using the stove but the microwave and counter space was still available). My husband has also been cordial and trying to work out their fight. He also says he didn’t stay in the kitchen on purpose, he didn’t know she was refusing to go in there because he was. He was simply making dinner for himself, me and our youngest (my daughter never eats what we do, she always eats her own thing by her own choosing).

Anyway, my daughter comes upstairs around 8, whining that she’s “starving” and that it’s her dad’s fault she can’t eat. And how dare he be in the kitchen. I told her that she was being ridiculous. I said she could’ve gone in there while he was or if she really is that averse to him right now, for one night, she can eat after 7. It’s okay. She won’t fall apart. She said I don’t understand dieting. I said maybe not, but this diet sounds stupid if you can’t break it once so you don’t starve. She then got mad and I said she was being childish. She went to her room and hasn’t come out. She texted her little sister, who showed me and apparently I’m an asshole.

So Reddit, am I an asshole here? ######

Response: NTA. She has the option to eat at any point but chooses not too. You’re not a bad person for pointing out the obvious if she’s going to complain about the limitations she set on herself. ######


Prompt:
I have three three vehicles I drive. Two of them I owned before marriage, and one of them I bought after we married. Two of the vehicles (a jeep and a car) are manuals. The third vehicle is a large truck (Ford Super Duty) that I had lifted.

My wife has never driven any of my vehicles because she can't drive a manual and doesn't really want to learn and feels uncomfortable driving my truck because of its size.

She would like for me to get rid of one in exchange for something she feels comfortable driving even though she has her own car. Her argument is that we need another car she can drive in case something happens to hers. My counter has been that she can drive my cars but she chooses not to either learn how or spend time getting comfortable with them. This isn't a case of not having cars that can be driven.  She thinks I am missing the point and being an AH by refusing to get something she doesn't have to learn to drive, but I think she is being a bit difficult to please by refusing to meet me halfway and take me up on my offer to get her comfortable with one of the vehicles.

She also has been very adamant lately that I need a car which is "appropriate" for a baby and has been pushing for me to make this change sooner rather than later, but I think this point isn't relevant right now. We're not close to having kids, so there is no point in making a change when that is likely several years away.

Edit to add: I also think the car or jeep is suitable for a child. I don't even agree with her view that one of them cannot be used for kids.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She has options - She could learn to drive a manual; she could drive the truck (maybe offer to have the lift kit removed if/when she gets pregnant) so it's more accessible; she could buy her own extra car. There is no reason the entire burden of making a change should fall on you other than the fact that she just wants it that way. She wants a change then she needs to be willing to make it herself. ######


Prompt:
This happened a while ago, I work at a local pizza place, and it was dinner rush. I manage the phone, counter, and oven because we were understaffed

During rush a lady comes in and orders food, I get everything ready and ask if she wants a bag, she says no. I tell her the usual thank you for coming have a nice night.

I then go to answer the ringing phone to place them on hold so I can service the next person at the counter when she yells out ‘actually can I have a bag?’ Because everyone else is busy getting deliveries or making pizza I grab a bag, open it, and hand it to her over the counter where she’s standing. The store has one of those high glass protection counters, like subway, and she was at the end of it so I just jumped to give it to her when she didn’t move down towards the register.

I again tell her to have a nice night and enjoy her food, when she just stops, stares at me and beings yelling at me telling me I could of come around and placed the food she was holding into the bag, she immediately walked out cursing under her breath, all my coworkers and customers in the store just kind of stopped and looked at her because we were all in shock.

I then go and take the order of the people on hold and the counter when another call comes in, it’s someone requesting to talk to the manager because ‘she received the worse customer service she’s ever had and she will never come back, and she’s been coming here for years and has never come across someone like me with such an attitude, and that I need to be reprimanded by someone’ my manager just gave her a ‘yes, I am sorry and will talk talk to her about it’ I didn’t get reprimanded, everyone just kind of laughed it off, I’m only asking because when I told my mom she said it was rude of me to not walk around and put the ladies food into the bag. ######

Response: NTA. She has obviously never worked in food service or customer service in general. ######


Prompt:
Hey There.

My parents are divorced and my bio-dad died soon after. It all happend when I was around 3 so i never knew him. My mom remarried a year after their divorce so I grew up with him as my father. My bio-father was an onlychild from my grandparents with who I had no coontact with due to my mother not wanting me to do so. They passed away two months ago an I was the only person in their will. They left me their estate (the house they lived in and some multi storage houses in a city nearby) and quiete a large sum of money as well as a letter in which they wrte that they were sorry for not being part of my life but they accepted my mothers wish. That was news to me my mom told me that they didnt want contact with me beacause they had prblems with her and abandoned me beacause of that. I am legally an adult at 19 and still live at home with my parents and my little sister. She is really spoiled and always gets what she wants because she is the family baby. When i told my parents aboout my inheritance and what all i have got and that i am planning to put 50000 in a saving account for my sister they got mad at me for not splitting it evenly. I was shocked and they tld me that i was an selfish and spoiled brat for not sharing. Honestly i dont mind sharing but now I thing I wont. As i told my parents that they threw me out like litually forced me to left the house i grew up in and threw all my stuff out the window. I was shocked. I picked up my clothes put them in my car and drove too my grandparents house where I an sitting now in shock and writing this post hoping someone can give me advise on this situation because i dont know what to do.

Sorry for spelling and grammar english isnt my first language. Thanks for your time. ######

Response:
 Nta. She has no claim on that money at all. Besides isn't there an issue with the amount of money you can just gift someone? I'm a bit clueless but I think you have to pay tax on it or something as otherwise it can be seen as tax avoidance. I think you were very generous to consider giving her anything.

Please get some financial advice as it sounds like a lot of money and it is surprisingly easy to lose money if you don't know what you are doing. If you look after it and invest wisely you could be set up for life. It sounds like your mother wasn't completely honest with you about your paternal grandparents. In light of that and their willingness to kick you out so quickly I would not trust your parents. ######


Prompt:
This has been on my mind for quite some time now, so I decided to get an outsiders opinion.

Some backstory:
I don’t know how to write this out without sounding arrogant so I’m just gonna be straightforward - my family is a bit wealthier than my best friends. I don’t mean anything drastically, we both live comfortable lives, but my mom can give me and my siblings some extra joys of lifes. This has become a bit of a friction point between me and my friend, she’d throw some remarks here and there but never responded, because I don’t even know what I could say.

Recently, I found out that my grandpa, who I am extremely close to, has cancer. It’s stage two and treatable, but it felt like getting punched in the throat when I heard.
A week ago he started chemotherapy, and I been very concerned, because on the phone he sounds very weak.
So, when I was talking to my friend about it, she said “well, at least if he dies, you’ll get even more money” .
I was speechless... My grandpa is battling cancer and her mind is still on money. I asked her if she could please stop focusing on that for just a minute, to which she responded that I wouldn’t get it, cause I am not poor. ( Again, her  family is not poor, her parents have average incomes) She then called me a bitch for being so insensitive and hung up.

I felt like I am not the AH in this, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like one.
AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She has an inferiority complex and envy clouds her mind. She’s projecting her anger onto you because she feels hapless to change her situation. ######


Prompt:
Hi, I am a 14 year old male and have a sister with autism who is 11.  I recently brought my PlayStation into the living room because I am remodeling my room so I’m sleeping up stairs in my other sisters room on the floor and brought my PlayStation upstairs My sister  asked if she could play the demo of Just Dance and I said just once, she agreed and I let her dance to 2 songs. It was no big deal to me until I brought my PS VR headset to play Carnival games and SUPERHOT. I was playing for around 15 minutes till she asked if she could play. I said no and my dad agreed because he didn’t know how she would react (she gets overwhelmed easily due to anxiety and has a meltdown.) until my mom jumped in and argued with my dad until he said fine. I didn’t want her to due to it being made out of plastic and how flimsily it really is. Also with this list of the past things she has broke

My PS3 disk and cases by ripping up the covers and scratching the disk

My Xbox 360 by grabbing it and dropping it on the floor

A Dell desktop and 2 monitors

Mac computer by downloading viruses

A keyboard

My copy of Super Mario maker for the WII U by snapping it

My old phone

A Samsung tablet

Xbox one disc drive (temporarily broken)

Xbox one disc (about 5)

And a few other things.

With her history of breaking things I didn’t want her to break the VR headset. She has an Xbox one, my 3DS, a new Mac, and my Wii U which I was hoping she would play instead but she can’t settle with any of them.

Luckily she didn’t break it but gave me anxiety because she kept tugging and yanking on it but yeah it survived.

So guys and gals, AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She has a history of breaking your things, and that’s not fair to you. Plus she has her own consoles and toys that are very comparable that she could have played with. ######


Prompt:
My(45M) wife (38F) is just home from the hospital after an acute hypertensive crisis (BP 213/145).

Back story: She was hospitalized 4y ago for the same issue and it was brought under control.   We had a child 19m ago and during the pregnancy she consciously discontinued her treatment (medication and apnea machine) due to side effects and inconvenience of treatment. Despite repeatedly asking her to see her Dr (we are in Canada, no cost) and asking her to resume treatment she always laughed and blew me off and did nothing.

Fast forward to Thursday. My wife feels dizzy, I demand she take her BP and it’s 195/140. I insist she goes to the hospital as she could have a stroke or a heart attack. She argues and says she will just take her medication.  I point out it’s been over a year and she shouldn't guess doses if she’s that much in distress.  She relents and goes to hospital. After a night of treatment it eventually gets brought down to a manageable level and she comes home.  This morning she asks if I have any “negative feelings towards her about this” and I state that I am angry and upset that she had the tools to prevent this and willfully ignored them and brought this crisis on herself. And further it’s not fair to the kids (we have 2) that she did this either.

She burst into tears is and refusing to talk to me. AITA for calling her out on her behaviour? ######

Response: NTA. She has a family and people who depend on her. I understand the treatments can be consuming and she might not want to continue them due to side effects, but that's an issue to bring up to her doctor so they can figure where to progress. Not only is it not safe for her to decide not to take the medicine on her own accord, she has a child she needs to be there for and a family. You're not the asshole for reminding her of these things and saying she needs to take the medicine, she might not like it, but you're right. ######


Prompt:
A woman I work with recently lost her children in a car crash. She was given a month off work and she came back last month. I helped her get her work done for the next week and a half. My boss then give us a pretty big assignment for the two of us. Our original plan was we do it 50/50. After I did half of the assignment and went to her to check in. She didn’t do any of it but she was still upset about the death of her kids. I decided to do her part of the assignment.

Her and my boss used to be high school friends so he trusted her so much. She went to my boss and said I didn’t work and she did most of the work. My boss gave me a warning and said I was on thin ice and made me do another two person assignment by my self.

The next week I had a lot of work since I had to do this two person assignment along with my work. She came to work drunk that week. She started verbally abused me and another coworker I work with. That coworker was very shy and probably won’t tell my boss. When I told my boss he didn’t believe me. I went to HR but they said I needed proof. They said this behavior could get her fired or demoted

So, I gathered evidence. I recorded our conversations and it showed verbal abuse and got photos of her drinking. She did the last straw when she said she might get me fired. I was going to go to HR but another coworker stopped. They said I would get a woman who lost children and had multiple medical bills to pay off fired. He said if I do it, I would be a terrible person and a huge asshole. I don’t know what to do.

So Reddit, WIBTA if I go to HR with the evidence? ######

Response: NTA. she had no reason to tell the boss that you didn’t do yours and hers assignment project when YOU did both parts. she could have just kept quiet and thanked you for pulling her weight. but for some odd reason she wanted to stir the pot and let it overflow. That is why HR exists. ######


Prompt:
Throwaway. Names are changed.

I've been best friends with Dan (29M) since we were in high school. He's been married to Cassie (28F) for two years and they recently had their first kid. Dan's dad remarried when we were off at college and Lucifer became his stepmom. Lucifer had a son from a previous relationship.

Recently, with the weather getting nicer, Dan and Cassie hosted a small barbecue with immediate family and friends. I was there, Dan, Cassie, and their kiddo were there, Cassie's parents, Dan's dad and Lucy, and a few other people.

Everyone was gushing over the baby and how good Cassie was looking. She had a rough pregnancy and has been resting up ever since the baby came. She also had a C-section (this is relevant).

Now, Lucy is a shitty person and Dan has never been her biggest fan. The topic of Cassie's C-section came up and Lucy said something nasty about Cassie not being a real woman and a true mother, for not having given birth naturally. It was pretty hurtful and I could see it on Cassie's face that she was upset.

I ended up blurting out that it wasn't surprising that Lucy had said that, considering she was such a huge cunt, when she gave birth her kid probably just slipped out and fell on the floor. Dan laughed, but his dad and Lucifer were pretty upset. They ended up leaving shortly after.

I know there's some controversy over that particular word, I'm wondering if I went too far. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She had it coming. Next time though you should coordinate a secreat timeout. This is where when she says something fucked up everyone at the party except Lucifer (and prob her husband) are notified that Lucifer is in timeout. And everyone pretends she doesnt exist until an audible timer goes off then people start making eye contact, responding, talking to her, etc. ######


Prompt:
When I like to have a bit of self love I tend to prefer amateur type videos, one day I'm scrolling through different videos and find someone who looks very familiar. I download the video and lo and behold it is a friend of mine, same tattoo and looks exactly like her. The video is pretty old so it must have been when she was with her ex.

I decided to drop her a message with a screenshot from it so she's not bullshitting. My exact message was "Hey, I thought you ought to know but I found a video of you on the internet in case you didn't know it had been uploaded" and then a link to the video.

I wasn't trying to do anything with it, I'd just want to know if it was a video of me. I thought she'd be a tad embarrassed at most but she was extremely angry. "Why are you showing me this?" and "What are you going to do with it?" were her replies. I tried explaining I wasn't going to do anything and that she ought to know. She called me an arsehole, told me to do what I want and then blocked me.

Did I do something wrong here? Some time last year I told her I like her, she didn't feel the same way and I moved on and all I can think is that she thinks I want to use this against her or something. The ex in question and her didn't part ways wells but I don't know why she thinks I'm going to do something. ######

Response: NTA. She had a knee-jerk reaction there. You were just letting her know she was on the internet. Doesn’t sound like you had any malicious intent there. ######


Prompt: I 16(M) was playing video games with friends, one of the people who plays with us regularly is a my friends girlfriend 16(f). She does not like me and has made it clear in the past. I try to put it aside while we all hang out just so it stays civil. Well last night everybody was talking about relationship problems. The two people dating in the group gave advice. Mine was struggling to even find a person who I had a chance with. As soon as the words left my mouth, she snickered and brought up how I'm short and that's why. At first I thought she was joking and shrugged it off but after she kept drilling it in. Finally I had enough and brought up how she didn't have a boyfriend until a year ago because she refused to lose weight. After that everyone went quiet. Soon everyone started laying into me and she started crying. I tried to apologize because I didn't mean to hurt her that bad, but I got drowned out under every one yelling at me. I know I probably am the asshole but I just wanted to hear someone outside the situations opinion. ######

Response: NTA. She got what’s coming to her. The fact she kept drilling the idea that you’re short is a huge asshole move on her part. You insulting her was a clap back. Did she just expect you to sit back and take it? She sucks. ######


Prompt:
Me and my boyfriend recently (6 months ago) moved in to our first property together, in which we have a spare bedroom that we agreed to rent out to a friend of mine who has never left home, let's call her M. For some context I have been friends with M for almost 20 years, always pretty tight and open with each other.

6 months down the line her boyfriend has asked her to move in with her, not great timing as my father has just been in a car accident which nearly took his life and I was also up for redundancy, but if this is what will make her happy then I'm fine with it. Took a couple of weeks for them to find a place and we found someone to take her room who we trust. Now all we needed to do was organise the moving date.

Now I repeatedly ask M to provide me her moving date and she first said September, then end of August and finally the beginning of August. I needed a solid date to provide my new tenant for their move, so I had a verbal agreement with M that if I wasnt provided a date by july 14th, that her moving date would be set to august the 1st. This mean i can give my new tenant a set date as they desperately need one.

Now M decides to go to france for a 2 week holiday and does not provide me with a moving date so it's set to august 1st. 3 days ago she informs me through Facebook messenger (whilst upstairs in the same house) she wont be able to move until august 8th. I tell her this isnt really acceptable, we had an agreement and the date must stay as august 1st due to commitments I have made with other people.

After calling me unfair and saying she did everything she could have done in the situation, which I feel isnt true, she has not spoken to me since. She immediately started to pack her things and move out, including taking an mattress that belongs to my mum without asking and called me pathetic when I asked for its return. AITM for expecting her to move out a week early? ######

Response: NTA. She failed to communicate properly and expected you to simply put up with her lack of organisation and childishness. Then she basically stole from you. Not someone you require in your life. ######


Prompt:
Recently, a long term relationship I had was ended. My ex was the one who broke up with me, and it was done through text. My ex has really bad anxiety, and although it definitely hurt my feelings, I am okay with the fact she had ended things through text. She and I share an apartment, but luckily my friend is alright with me staying with him in his room (as opposed to in the living room) until she's done figuring out when it's safe to move back in with her parents. Honestly, we kind of just avoid each other. I spend most of my time in my friend's room when I'm not working.

A few hours after she broke up with me, I was feeling petty and went through my social media deleting old couple posts and photos. I also went through my gallery and deleted any photos of her and us together.

Later, one of her friends called and apparently my ex was crying and having a bad anxiety attack over the changes on my social media. My friend ended up calming her down, and I felt too ashamed to help her myself. (Which is honestly bad on my part because I really do want to stay friends with her.)

Am I the Asshole for being so public about the breakup? Would it have been better If I just posted about the breakup clearly instead of deleting everything without context? ######

Response: NTA. She doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. You removed her from your social media posts. What you do is no longer any of her business. ######


Prompt:
My girlfriend (28F) and I (30F) live together for over a year now. She is currently packing for a week-long camping trip with her dad and brothers and was charging up both of my external battery packs. I told her I didn’t want her taking both. She can take the older smaller one but the big one is expensive and she has a history of not taking care of my stuff (and taking my stuff without asking). I said I don’t want the charger to go camping and she threw a fit saying it’s not fair because of I’m not using it then she should be able to take it. I said if she wants one then she should get her own, that I’m being nice by even letting her take one.
She says since we live together we share everything and she should be allowed to take whatever she wants. Now she’s throwing a huge fit.
It feels like maybe I’m being mean now and I should just let her take it. But I’m annoyed that I’m expected to just let her have my things for use whenever she wants.
AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She doesn't seem to understand boundaries at all. Just because you're living together that doesn't mean that everything you own is hers too. I doubt she'd be okay with the opposite, if you took her stuff and told her well cause we're living together it's mine too. ######


Prompt:
So I know it sounds bad but hear me out. I found a used sofa listed online, and I asked the owner if I could come by and check it out. She agreed; she was keeping it in her garage. When I arrived I asked if it was okay if I felt it and generally "checked it out", and she said fine. I looked to see if if the cushions were detachable, looked for stains, that sort of thing. Then I sat on it, and the whole thing collapsed. It seems one of the legs was loose or already broken. (If it matters, I'm 130lbs.)

I said I was sorry, I felt bad about it and embarrassed. She said I would have to buy it now. I was taken aback and replied that all I had done was sit on the couch - if it collapsed obviously there was something wrong with it before I arrived. She said there was nothing wrong with it before I sat down and that she "didn't give me permission to sit on it" and now she couldn't sell to anyone else so I would have to take it.

I said no and left. But now I can't stop thinking about it. In my mind, when she said it was fine if I inspected the couch, this would obviously mean that I could sit in it. Isn't that one of the first things anybody does when checking out a couch?

So what do you think, reddit? AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She didn’t want you to *sit*. On a *sofa*...? Yup, she was running a scam. ######


Prompt:
Me (f25) and my partner (m28) have 2 kids already, DD 2.5yr and DS 11 months.

I was due to get the coil fitted before the pandemic but this was delayed and we were using condoms.

About 6 weeks ago I suddenly started feeling dozzy and nauseous out of nowhere which is exactly how i felt with DS so i took a pregnancy test and it was positive. We immediately knew we didnt want another child at the time or probably ever so i rang my doctors to book in for a consult for an abortion, in breastfeeding so not having periods and didnt know how far along I was. We had the consult and found i was 8 weeks pregnant and was booked in for the following day.

However that night I had horrible cramps and started bleeding heavily, we went back to the hospital and it was confirmed I had miscarried. I was honestly relieved as obviously I wasnt planning on taking the pregnancy to term anyway and i was freaking out over the idea of having an abortion as medical procedures make me extremely nervous and id heard alot of horror stories gone wrong.

Fast forward and I visited my SIL last week(socially distanced of course) and she asked if me and SO were planning on more kids. I said absolutely not and explained what happened and that I was relieved that the pregnancy terminated.

Well it turns out that SIL had been trying for a baby for the last year and hasnt been successful so far and said im an awful person for being relieved and that other women would kill to be able to get pregnant as quickly as i can.

Context, both my babies were conceived on contraception.

I said im really sorry i upset her and that i had no idea she was even trying and had i known i obviously wouldnt have discussed this with her.

I thought that was the end of it but all of a sudden all of SO's family are messaging me saying im cruel for rubbing my pregnancies in SILs face and that its disgusting that im relieved over a miscarriage when she wants a baby so bad.

So AITA? ######

Response:
 NTA. She didn't tell you before hand and had no way of knowing. She asked the question, and then got pissed that you h=answered honestly? You can be relieve over whatever you want, and the miscarriage doesnt affect her ability of trying for a baby.

She looking for a reason to be pissed about it. ######


Prompt:
A few years ago when my daughter was 13 she begged and begged me for a dog till I was so fed up that I gave in. It was a huge mistake but at the time I didn't think it would be since my daughter promised that since it was her dog that she would take care of it and I would just buy it what it needed.

I finally got her a puppy from a neighbour who's dog had just given birth and my daughter was really excited and we both loved the dog.

My daughter was great at first with the dog, took him 3 walks a day if she could and feed him, she did everything right. After a while though she's been doing hardly anything. I understand she has school and a life of her own but I have work and I'm not at home a lot. I can't tell you how many times I've come home to my daughter just watching TV while the dog hasn't been fed or walked all day, and I come home at 9pm. I have enough time in the morning to feed the dog before I leave and maybe a quick walk. But I'm so sick of hearing myself telling her to do the rest. People have also told me they have spotted her not picking up after the dog when she finally does walk him.

I loved the dog so so much, please don't think I didn't. He was part of the family but there was really nothing I could do. Countless times I have told my daughter that if she doesn't look after him then he'll need a new home, she'll care for him a few days after that but then falls back into doing nothing again. I feel sorry for the dog and I just want him to be happy so I gave him to a friend who I know would take amazing care of the dog, plus she has 2 other dogs to keep him company. She says we can visit him anytime we like so it's not like my daughter will never see him.

My daughter isn't speaking to me and I am thinking maybe I've screwed up. It's hard as well because my daughter thinks I didn't care about the dog if I could just give it away like that but it was seriously a really hard decision and one I wish could've been avoided. ######

Response: NTA. She didn't hold up her end of the bargain and you warned her multiple times. Ultimately it sounds like you did the right thing for the dog in giving it to someone who would take care of it properly. ######


Prompt: My sister asked me to babysit her kids (2,4,4,7). I agreed but I told her that she’s going to need to give me food to feed them because I’m fasting and I don’t have anything but oatmeal ramen, and protein in my house. My sister said buy whatever and she’ll pay me back. I asked the kids and they wanted McDonald’s. I bought them McDonald’s. I knew my sister didn’t eat McDonald’s but I didn’t know it extended to her kids. She freaked out and tried to make her kids throw up the food. She yelled at me and isnt paying me back. I’m a poor college student and that $18 is my grocery bill for a week. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She did not specify not to feed them McDonald's, and that's what they asked for. She needs to pay you back. Involve your parents if you have to. ######


Prompt:
So me (M27) and my family live in a townhouse of mostly white neighborhood (important later). The townhouses are sharing a strip of "frontyard" that we must maintain and we try our best to keep up, we planted flowers, we mow our lawn, etc. However, our neighbor that we share the said strip is always commenting and always telling us that we are not doing it properly, that we are ruining the front yard, and there are times where we caught them doing our lawn. And then one time, our neighbor knocked on our door and told us that we have to pay them for the lawn maintenance and we refused because we did not ask for it and it is not like we are not maintaining it. It's just that we are not doing it the way they like it. Also, we heard them referring to us as the "Asians" and call our other neighbors "neighbor". They called the firefighters one time because we are having a bon fire in our backyard, and firefighters said that we are following everything. They had a problem with us sun-drying our clothes even though we don't have any clothes line attached to our nor their fence. The last straw for me was when she talked to me as they were bothered by the fact that I have to leave every 10 pm to go work (I'm a nurse). My car is a Honda Civic with no modifications at all so it's not loud, and I don't play loud music at all. I started going off on her as my parents are too nice and have told her to mind her own business, stop being an asshole and we are done being a pushover She was shocked and in disbelief, she smelt like alcohol so I did not bother going further but she has not bothered us for weeks. My siblings are saying that IATA because she is an old lady (possibly on her early 50s) and she was clearly drunk. However, my parents are glad that someone had said something.

Did I overreact? AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She deserved it. She may be old but that doesn’t mean she’s right. Alcohol involved or not she seems like a closeted racist who’s using subtle tactics to put you down ######


Prompt:
This happened before the whole corona virus ordeal, but my friend, we will call her L, is still upset about this. AITA in this situation?

Awhile ago at a social gathering L and I were discussing her upcoming birthday plans. I offered to host L’s birthday party if she didn’t have other plans, L quickly shut that down insisting she had other plans to go to a cabin.

Also mentioning that she would be inviting other mutual friends of ours to this cabin and I would not be invited to this cabin with them. I’m not offended that I was not invited to the cabin, it’s her birthday and if she didn’t want me there it’s up to her.

And now this is where it gets complicated.

1 week later:

L: what are we doing for my birthday?

(In my mind I was confused, because
1. L told me she was going to a cabin
2. I already made plans to attend a house warming party for a very close friend of mine)

Me: I am attending a house warming party, and I thought you were going to the cabin?

L: We not going to the cabin until the day after my birthday, do you think we could still do something by you for it?

Me: No, I’m sorry but I made plans, if you want to do something during the day I can, but I’m busy at night.

L: you’re ruining my birthday

After she said that I stopped responding to her.
And to clarify, she is still attending the cabin for her birthday, and I’m still not invited for the birthday weekend at the cabin. But I am expected to host and attend her birthday party on the real day?
Also I offered to do something during the day for her birthday, but that still wasn’t good enough!
I ended up doing nothing with her and attended a very nice house warming party, and she looked like she had a blast at the cabin for her birthday weekend, but she still very upset at me?
AITA and should I apologize for not being there for her birthday? ######

Response:
 NTA. She decided after you originally asked that it would be great to have a bday party and go to a cabin. She doesn't even invite you to the cabin, but now expects you to throw her a party? Especially since she already turned you down?

She is not a friend, she is an entitled B. ######


Prompt:
Title pretty much says it all. My friend was checking on my cats while I was on vacation (this was last year). Basically I was supposed to pay her $20/day for the week.

Then (while I was on vacation), apparently she somehow ran over the light post in my yard. It broke in half and she tore out some of the underground electrical, along with one of my most beloved plants. Thankfully I was able to save my plant. I know that sounds dumb but it took me forever to actually get this thing to thrive.

My friend offered to pay for it, so I had some electricians come out and look at it and they all recommended I use my home owners deductible to get it fixed, which is $500. I believe the cheapest contractor was $800. After she heard the estimate, she spazzed and said she couldn’t pay that. So I said I would keep the money I owed her for cat-sitting and pay the rest of the deductible. She got upset and said that wasn’t our agreement, but I don’t really want to pay her after needing to pay this deductible for something that was blatantly her fault.

AITA here? ######

Response: NTA. She damaged your property, she needs to make up for it. You’re being generous in paying the difference. It was her mistake and she needs to own up to it ######


Prompt:
I love in a house that's literally surrounded by woods. There's a lot of wild animals that prowl around, and so I've been very careful when it comes to my pets. My sister has been staying with me because she doesn't have enough money to pay for her own apartment. She's a generally unpleasant person and she doesn't like my pets but a few days ago my friend had an accident and wanted me to stay the night with him so I fed my pets, took my dogs out for a walk, and asked my sister to watch them while I was gone. She agreed and I left.

When I came back, I found out that my sister had left the animals (two dogs and two cats) outside, something that I specifically asked her not to do because they are not outdoor animals and because of the wild animals that live around me. Thankfully, they hadn't wandered away and were unharmed so that was good, but I immediately went and demanded to know why my sister had gone against what I specifically asked her not to do.

She said that they were annoying and gross, and that they wouldn't stop bugging her. Just to be clear, the dogs are trained to go and lay in their beds if somebody tells them to 'stop', and the cats don't even like my sister, so they never bother her. We got into a huge fight because a whole ton of things could've happened to my pets and she didn't even care, and I eventually just told her to go and stay with her boyfriend. She got all teary and said that I was her only brother and I was supposed to care about her, and I replied that I did care about her but that we never got along, and said that I was too angry for her to stay with me, and she packed up and left.

I don't regret the general argument, but was I too harsh for kicking her out? ######

Response: NTA. She could have killed your pets and then she has the audacity to guilt trip you? Dealing with the pets was part of living with you. They were there before she was. If she couldn't handle it, she couldn't stay. ######


Prompt:
I recently re-connected with a friend from high school when her husband was accepted into a masters program at the same university where I am attending grad school. We were both really excited when we found out we would be living in the same city.

However. She is vastly different from the person I used to know. She was SOOO ambitious in high school and both of us had dreams of attending medical school and maybe even going into private practice together. (I know, I know, we were young and naive when we made these plans and people change). Sometime in college (we went to different schools), she met a guy, married him, and dropped out of school.

She is now a "stay-at-home mom." I say this in quotes because her mother also lives with them and basically takes care of the grandchild. This friend likes to complain how hard she has it because they have to live on her husband's stipend from grad school and how she thinks clipping coupons and applying to welfare is "humiliating." Apparently, she never envisioned herself being so "poor."

I have heard this story so many times my ears want to bleed. After the 5th iteration, my patience wore out at about 3 minutes into her whining. I'll admit, I not-so-kindly suggested that she get a job if she feels that her current life is beneath her. She proceeds to accuse me of being anti-feminist (did not follow that argument) and for having a holier-than-thou attitude because I happened to get "lucky" and got into medical school. There was also something about hating against religion because she and her husband are Mormon and, evidently, women are not expected to work. She stormed out of the coffee shop and I got to enjoy my latte in peace.

AITA for how I responded? Should I have just sat there and nodded along? I have never been so brusque with a friend before, but her entire woe-is-me mentality was INFURIATING. ######

Response: NTA. She complained, you offered a valid solution, she chose to ignore it and keep whining. ######


Prompt:
 My (22m) dad (49m) just got home with his girlfriend. As soon as they walk in all I hear is him yelling and calling her some fucked up names. Then they start arguing out in the front yard. Fyi my dad was 100% the aggressor and his girlfriend was just crying and trying to talk to him while he was screaming at her.

 He came inside and locked the door leaving her outside. I heard her saying she needs her keys. (She doesn't live with us). My dad told her she wasn't getting them. This is when I decide to step in.

 I confronted my dad and we got into a heated argument. He said I'm a bastard for getting into his business and a traitor for taking her side. I told him that I watched him treat my mom like shit for their entire marriage and I wasn't about to watch him verbally abuse another woman. That really pissed him off. He bowed up to me then told me I "wasn't worth it" then went into his bedroom.

 I saw his girlfriend's purse on the table and walked out front and gave it to her and she left. My dad found out I helped her and told me to get out of his house because I took her side. Really though I just wanted her to be able to leave. I took nobody's side.

Am I the asshole for helping her because now I feel like I betrayed him. ######

Response: NTA. She clearly needed help and you gave it to her. You did the right thing. ######


Prompt: Every day at the same time, I walk my dog around the block. Whenever we encounter other people, with or without dogs, we move to the boulevard and let the other people and their dog(s) stay on the sidewalk. Today, I came across a lady walking 3 golden retrievers. I did what I always do, and moved myself, my dog, and my kids to the boulevard to pass by. Well, her dogs started coming towards us, and she couldn’t stop them. The dogs got nose to nose with mine. Thankfully, no fights happened, but I told her that if she can’t hold on to all 3 dogs, then she shouldn’t be walking all 3 dogs. She questioned my knowledge of dogs and then told me that I should have crossed the street and walked on the other side when I saw her. I don’t believe I did anything wrong as I had full control of my dog (I even jumped back into the street to try to keep the dogs apart) and I don’t feel I should have to move to the other side of the street. AITA? Is it my responsibility to move to the other side because she couldn’t hold all her dogs? ######

Response: NTA. She clearly just got defensive when you pointed out the obvious - that she was not in control. ######


Prompt:
 My daughter (20F) started a diet a few weeks ago where she doesn’t eat after 7PM. I’ve read mixed things on this, but nothing dangerous. She is active, eats healthy on the regular. So, she’s not starving herself. So, I didn’t say anything on it.

Then she got into a fight with her dad yesterday. This whole “no one can leave the house” is great for relationships I tell you. She’s refused to talk to him or be in the same room as him for days. She took a nap today and woke up at like 6:30 PM. My husband was in the kitchen cooking. Now, I was not downstairs at the time but I guess he stayed in there for an hour cooking dinner. She could’ve easily gone in there and gotten something to eat for herself and gone back to her room (he was using the stove but the microwave and counter space was still available). My husband has also been cordial and trying to work out their fight. He also says he didn’t stay in the kitchen on purpose, he didn’t know she was refusing to go in there because he was. He was simply making dinner for himself, me and our youngest (my daughter never eats what we do, she always eats her own thing by her own choosing).

Anyway, my daughter comes upstairs around 8, whining that she’s “starving” and that it’s her dad’s fault she can’t eat. And how dare he be in the kitchen. I told her that she was being ridiculous. I said she could’ve gone in there while he was or if she really is that averse to him right now, for one night, she can eat after 7. It’s okay. She won’t fall apart. She said I don’t understand dieting. I said maybe not, but this diet sounds stupid if you can’t break it once so you don’t starve. She then got mad and I said she was being childish. She went to her room and hasn’t come out. She texted her little sister, who showed me and apparently I’m an asshole.

So Reddit, am I an asshole here? ######

Response:
 NTA. She chose the diet, she had the fight, she refused to go into the kitchen, she waited until after the 7pm limit to tell anyone, and she's the one who's upset. She has two options now, eat after 7pm or wait until morning. What does she want you to do? Berate your husband for being in the kitchen cooking for the rest of his family around dinner time?

Tell her that next time, if her diet is so important to her not to wait until after the time limit to tell someone that there's a problem. Say you're sorry she's hungry and ask if there's anything you can do to help *now*. ######


Prompt:
I wanna keep this a little vague for privacy.

My gf recently expressed interest in learning a new instrument, she said it was something she'd always wanted to do. I play a few instruments myself so I thought it would be a great gift for her since I could help her learn and we could play together, and I know she's been bored stuck at home.

So I surprised her with it on Friday and she loved it, posting pictures everywhere and saying she couldn't wait for her friend to come over and help her set it up and that he would be giving her lessons.

I'll admit I was a little offended she didn't ask me but whatever, her friend has been playing for a long time as well so I get it.

Yesterday, on Monday, I found out that she had been sleeping with her friend. She told me she was going to start dating him and that she was sorry but we were done, it came out of nowhere at first but she had been acting distant lately.

I stopped by today to get some of my stuff and I told her I was taking the instrument I bought her. The thought of her taking that gift, and bonding over it with the guy she was cheating with just ruined me. She called me an asshole and said she didn't know how to explain to everyone where her new instrument went because she lied and told everyone (including her new bf) that she bought it with her own money.

I feel like kind of a dick for taking it back, but I spent a lot on it and she only had it for 3 days.

Am I the asshole? ######

Response: NTA. She cheated on you and you don’t owe her anything, including an instrument and her dignity ######


Prompt:
For my birthday I wanted to have dinner just with the two of us, no other family members were invited.

So on the night he picks me up and on our way to dinner we get a call from her. She has been out drinking with a friend and wants a ride. She could have asked her friend for a ride home or easily gotten a taxi as it wouldn't have cost much. She then over speaker phone starts saying I was the one who told you to call her (me) and make plans. My dad goes yeah but I was planning on ringing her anyway. She then starts saying about her kids (all of which are adults) that they wouldn't do that to him. Which is false because her kids did that many times when they started dating because they didn't like my dad.

So we arrive to pick her up and I am sitting in the front seat. She opens up the door and tells me to sit in the back. Nothing else was said like happy birthday or even hello. I didn't want to start an argument so I just moved to the backseat.

She then complains about how she told her friend she was out with that she was doing dinner with us and of course she couldn't then ask for a ride home.
This was untrue as he had let her know that it would just be the two of us. Then she turns to me and is all like so what's so wrong with me coming out to dinner with you guys. I repeat that I just want to spend time with my dad as we don't get to see each other very often. She then repeats about her kids and that it is super hurtful that we wouldn't invite her.

On the rest of the drive to drop her off she continues to try guilt us into letting her come with us. Luckily my dad refuses and says that she is not coming.

For context they have been together 3 years and it is a very rocky relationship. Neither myself or my brother (both adults) get on that great with her. She tolerates me but will not even talk about my brother and hates it when my dad talks about him. ######

Response: NTA. She can’t treat you like an inferior and then expect you to be over the moon about her joining in on your birthday celebration. There’s probably a reason her kids don’t want to celebrate with her. Good on your Dad for refusing, I hope you enjoyed your celebration with him regardless of her attitude. ######


Prompt: i like to play guitar a lot. lately, ive been playing it more than usual because ive had time off. im not sure why, but my girlfriend isnt the biggest fan of me playing. maybe she just things im bad at it lol but usually when im playing, she’s upstairs anyway. i know its not because she wants me to spend time with her instead because every time i try to spend time with her shes on her phone. anyway, today i came home from publix and as soon as i came in, i saw she had thrown it down the stairs. there were no major damages (two of the strings popped, and the body has a hole in the bottom) and i know its just a stupid instrument but i feel like she shouldnt be throwing my stuff around so i told her to go home and i havent been talking to her. ######

Response: NTA. she can’t respect your personal property, which is a big red flag. ######


Prompt:
Today, I was biking on a relatively popular trail. It's usually shared between bikers and walkers. I have a relatively old bike (made in 2013) and the gear changing click is quite loud. At one point, the was a pretty steep hill I had to ride up. I downshifted to make it easier to climb, and almost immediately, a woman in her mid-thirties with a baby stroller suddenly yelled "HEY!" at me. Thinking it was for somebody else, I kept riding; she kept yelling, so I stopped. She began berating me for waking up her toddler (who was in the baby stroller) and I can't just go around making noise and disturbing people. Confused, I asked what she meant; she said "your bike is really loud, you should've passed me further away and not woken [toddler] up, etc." Even though I'm pretty sure it was her yelling that woke up the toddler, I apologized and kept riding. AITA?
Tl;dr Woman thinks I woke up her toddler in a baby stroller by changing gears with a loud gear changer. ######

Response:
 NTA. She can't expect silence in a public park.

That said, you're keeping a safe 6 feet away due to corona, right? ######


Prompt:
I live with my grandmother. Rent is $900 and we each pay half. Recently this person decided to bring in their grown 50 year old drug addict son because “he has nowhere to go”. He does have somewhere to go. He has a house he was living in but his wife recently died and she took it upon herself to allow him to live with us. I had absolutely no say in the matter despite being extremely uncomfortable about the entire situation. This man has multiple drug charges and has threatened to kill people. He has never worked a day in his life.

At first she said it would only be a couple of days. It’s been nearly a month and he’s still here. Rent free. Hasn’t lifted a finger and he’s eating our groceries. He’s also gotten high in our home on heroin twice. I used to help out substantially with the groceries also but have since stopped and only buy the groceries for myself.

This month I only have her $300 in rent money. She asked for the rest because she’s low on money and can’t pay her car insurance. She’s low on money because she’s been treating her addict son like a king, buying all this food, cooking three times a day and withdrawing cash for him from her checking account.

I said that since we have a third person living in the house who I had no control or say over, it is unfair for me to continue paying half the rent and that he can get a job and pay the remainder. ######

Response:
 NTA. She can enable him all she wants, and she’s probably going to. But you’re not required to do so. She needs to enable him on her own dime.

ETA: but you do still owe the agreed-upon rent. You also have the ability to demand that he not impact your life, groceries, etc. She’ll likely agree, but won’t be able or willing to make it happen. Basically you’re gonna have to move out. ######


Prompt:
My mother remarried a few years ago which meant a new step sister who is 2 months older than I so when my family moved schools I ended up at hers and she became once of my main bullies. One reason was for being ‘out’ as Bisexual. Last week she rang our family (we’ve both lived out of home for 2 years now) and we so excited to tell us she was dating the girl of her dreams.

I didn’t say anything at the time about it but I’ve since gone full no contact with her over it, my mother is on the fence about the issue and my step father says he doesn’t care if we talk or not as we never really got along

So AITA for cutting off contact. ######

Response:
 NTA. She bullied you, for god's sake. You should have cut contact then and there.

Also, it seems that she probably, maybe bullied you to hide her own sexuality which makes her a coward. 🤷 ######


Prompt:
Recently, a long term relationship I had was ended. My ex was the one who broke up with me, and it was done through text. My ex has really bad anxiety, and although it definitely hurt my feelings, I am okay with the fact she had ended things through text. She and I share an apartment, but luckily my friend is alright with me staying with him in his room (as opposed to in the living room) until she's done figuring out when it's safe to move back in with her parents. Honestly, we kind of just avoid each other. I spend most of my time in my friend's room when I'm not working.

A few hours after she broke up with me, I was feeling petty and went through my social media deleting old couple posts and photos. I also went through my gallery and deleted any photos of her and us together.

Later, one of her friends called and apparently my ex was crying and having a bad anxiety attack over the changes on my social media. My friend ended up calming her down, and I felt too ashamed to help her myself. (Which is honestly bad on my part because I really do want to stay friends with her.)

Am I the Asshole for being so public about the breakup? Would it have been better If I just posted about the breakup clearly instead of deleting everything without context? ######

Response: NTA. She broke up. You are hurt too and have the right to delete whatever picture you wish from your personal account. ######


Prompt:
My BF [34M]  and I [27M] have been together for nearly 5 years. We have 2 kids together from his previous marriage. Throughout the years, I could see that his mother is toxic for us and our 2 kids. His mother  would always guilt trip him into supporting her lavish lifestyle. From paying for her incredibly expensive therapy to even buying her designer bags and shoes, he did it all. When he refuse or reluctant, she would always bring up her difficult divorce and how she could go back to using and drinking.

Our youngest son recently got diagnosed with High Functioning ASD ( suspected Asperger's). We have been making financial plans on how to accommodate his development (therapy, education etc.)

My BF's mother however decided to sign herself up to one of those "therapy" vacation trip to Europe and expected her son to pay for it. When I explained that we could not afford to pay for it, she went off on how her mental health needed the money more. Our kids didn't need all those therapy until later in their life she said.

That was when I told her to get the f out of our house. I've told him that I don't think it's fair for him to support her financially while expecting me to cover majority of our household expenses. I've been doing that for 2years. I told my BF to distance ourselves from her or I will walk away with our kids since he clearly didn't care about them that much. AITA?

TL;DR: My BF's mother is financial dependent and emotionally manipulative. I've told him to distance ourselves from her or I will walk away with our kids. ######

Response: NTA. She basically threatens to self-harm if he doesn’t cave and that is HOT GARBAGE. Just be careful on legalities. ######


Prompt:
I have a daughter who will be 27 in two months, and lately she has been constantly lamenting the fact that she is so "old" and has not found "the one." I know that this is likely a result of so many of her friends having gotten married within the last two or so years, including her younger sister who married her longtime boyfriend last fall. I am sure it also does not help that she has served in the wedding party in many of their weddings.

My daughter has had her share of relationships with really nice guys, in my view, so it's not like she hasn't had her chances. It's just she's never had a relationship last more than about nine months. She might have had one longer than that but certainly never over a year.

Recently when I was talking to her she asked me if there was something wrong with her. I've gotten similar questions in the past, but this time I decided to try a different approach. I told her I had noticed how she treated some of her boyfriends and couldn't blame them for deciding to call it quits. She is really great with her friends and family and not self-centered, but the opposite is true with her boyfriends. She is very demanding and extremely high maintenance, and I think she can be petty. She demands so much of their time and attention that there is nothing left for them, which is why most guys try to avoid girls like her. No matter how pretty or smart she may be it just isn't worth all the headaches.

I feel like this was all something she needs to hear. Most of the guys she is interested in aren't going to put up with this type of behavior (and especially not guys in their late 20s and 30s), so if she wants those guys then she needs to rethink some things and learn not to be so demanding and bossy.

Both my wife and my daughter think I am TA for saying this, but I don't think telling the truth and giving an honest opinion makes someone TA. AITA? ######

Response: NTA. She asked a question, you gave an honest answer. May not have been what she *wanted* to hear, but it sounds like it's what she needed. ######


Prompt:
I was attempting to serve legal documents upon someone who we'll call Jane Doe, who had reportedly been evading process servers for some time.

I went to their address and a female roommate confirmed that the address was correct, but the person I was looking for was at work.

I returned the next day and was told by a male resident that the person I was looking for no longer lived there. I obviously assumed this was a lie, but left temporarily and obtained details of Jane Doe's registered vehicles to be sure.

When I returned again, I confirmed that her vehicles were at the house, but nobody answered the door.  I returned for the final time a couple hours later and found both the male and female roommates that I had already talked to outside on the driveway.  The female roommate changed her story and the male roommate insisted the person didn't live there anymore. I pointed out their contradicting stories and the fact that Jane Doe's vehicles were there.  Finally the male roommate (we'll call him John Doe) tried to snatch the documents from me and I lost my temper a bit.

After a quick verbal argument (I basically told them I was tired of their bullshit and not to try to touch me or the documents again), John Doe admitted to formerly being Jane Doe.  He had transitioned and now goes by John Doe.  I was still pissed off but gave the documents over, told them I would notify the client of the name change, and left.

I later received an email complaint (they didn't realize it would go directly to me) essentially saying I was a bigot and insensitive and how wrong it was to force someone to reveal their deadname.

AITA? ######

Response: NTA. Serving legal documents is a completely reasonable exception to the idea you shouldn't force people to reveal their deadname. ######